#thought this lil silly project might get things moving again

[jcbbby]

may i request one where reader is feeling really insecure due to jamie’s friendship with his ex and she starts to distance herself and starts to go out every night until jamie finally notices that she’s strange and cold with him

hi friend! thank you for the prompt! I made up an ex for him. I kind of felt bad dragging any of his actual exes, you know? I wanted to try to make this purely fictional! I also added a cute lil surprise bit at the end for y'all. :) tbh I feel like me this one is weaker then the other few I’ve done, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless! <3

**************************************

How Can I Compare?

Synopsis: You are feeling insecure lately about the attention Jamie is getting for still being friends with an ex of his. You don't want to feel this way, but you can't help it. You try to cope by pushing him away. But he knows you too well, and he wants to assure you of his love in a big way.

***************************************

You sat in bed, scrolling Instagram, your usual ritual before turning over and going to sleep. At least, when Jamie wasn't home with you to cuddle up with. He was out tonight at an event for his latest film. You were so proud of him, his career really soared after Stranger Things, and you were just so happy to be with him, along for the ride.

You scrolled past a post from him, posted just 20 minutes ago. You smiled as you swiped through the few photos from the night. Jamie beaming, along side his co-stars and the crew. You snorted at a particularly silly one of him and a couple members of the cast.

"Great night, great company. x" he had captioned the post.

Your smile sunk into a slight frown when you swiped to the last picture. It was an image of him with his arm around a tall, dark haired woman. Amber, his ex girlfriend. She was a make up artist he had met some years ago, and while they dated for about a year before breaking it off, they maintained a good friendship after the fact. Especially considering she had worked on a few projects he was in following their split, including this one. You tried to not let their friendship bother you, but you couldn't help it. There was no denying how beautiful she was, and the times you had met her, she was honestly lovely. You wondered why they had parted ways in the first place, and you couldn't stop it from eating at you. You trusted Jamie, of course...at least, you told yourself you did. But you mainly just doubted yourself.

You doubled tapped the picture, the heart icon turning red, before clicking below to type a comment. This brought up the comments made by his followers, many mentioning how cute it was that they were photographed together, or how beautiful she was, or speculating if they were back together. You stared for a moment at the screen, your heartbeat increasing and your leg starting to shake anxiously. You exhaled sharply and began typing.

"So proud of you baby, you deserve it all and more. <3"

You posted your comment and clicked your phone's side button to put it to sleep, and gently placed it on your night stand before reaching to turn out the light. You sat staring ahead in the darkness for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to not let your mind run over with intrusive thoughts about what Jamie might be doing without you. You released the breath with a sigh, turning over to try to sleep.

-2 hours later-

You were gently awaked from your sleep by the feeling of someone getting into the bed next to you. Their warm body shuffled up close against your back, planting a soft kiss on your shoulder as a hand reached around you.

"Hi there, darling." Jamie's smooth voice whispered in your ear.

You groaned softly as you adjusted yourself to crane your neck toward him. "Hi baby." you said, you whispered groggily, eyes not fully opening.

Jamie lifted himself up on to his elbow and leaned closer to kiss you again, this time placing his soft lips against yours. The hand he had draped around you now started to move to the hem of your shirt, gently pulling it upward as he slipped the hand under the fabric. You felt him getting excited against your thigh. Normally you would be equally as excited, but you couldn't help but think of him spending his night with Amber. If people thought they made a better couple. If anyone even asked about you.

"Babe, I'm really tired...I kind of just want to go back to sleep." You said flatly, pulling his face away with your hand, holding his cheek.

Jamie sighed and slid his hand out of your shirt. "That's okay, love. I'll let you sleep. Sweet dreams." He kissed your forehead before turning away from you and heading off to the bathroom to get ready for bed himself.

Keeping your back to him while laying on your side, you felt a pit in your stomach, and your eyes welling up. You didn't even know exactly why, just that you were thinking of Jamie and Amber and the worst implications your mind could wander to.

-2 days later-

Jamie was finishing up an interview over zoom, as you sat reading a book on the sofa, off to the side. It was a pretty standard interview, regarding his latest film. But then the interviewer, likely having been instructed to get juicy questions answered, began prying about him working with Amber. You glanced over the top of your book, trying not to let Jamie feel your eyes on him.

"You know, Amber and I remain good friends. She's great and we've always gotten along, but we just weren't meant to be together like that. And life goes on, you know, it's all good." He shrugged his arms upward.

You shifted your weight on the sofa, as Jamie finished up with the interviewer on screen. Folding your book and placing it on the cushion beside you, you stood up and walked out. You walked into your bedroom, opening your closet and scanning the hangers. You heard Jamie's footsteps come up behind you.

"You alright?" He leaned against the door frame.

"Fine, why?" You asked, not turning to look at him, as you pulled clothing pieces halfway out to examine, before letting them fall back to their hanging position.

"Well it's just, you seem a little...far away lately." His eyes tilted downward.

You pulled a little black dress off the hanger and turned to walk past him. "I don't know, Jamie. I mean, I'm fine." You walked in front of the mirror, beginning to change into the dress you picked.

"You have plans again tonight?" He asked, his eyes looking you up and down.

"Yeah, going to that new club that just opened with Melissa." You shimmied the tight black dress over your body, smoothing it over your hips.

"Babe, you've gone out the last few nights. Last night you came home absolutely sloshed, I had to carry you up to bed." He moved from the door frame over to the bed behind you, taking a seat. "We both know you're not really a party girl. What's going on?"

"Jamie," you said sharply, turning to face him. "I'm fine." You turned back, walking into the bathroom to finish your makeup.

"I wish you'd talk to me, darling. You know you can talk to me." He said, getting up to follow you.

Walking into the bathroom, he found you leaning against the counter, your arms outstretched to hold yourself up, quietly crying. He came over to you, gently putting his arms around you, guiding you over to sit on the toilet. He kneeled down in front of you, taking your hands in his. You kept your head down.

Jamie caressed your hand with his thumb. "Y/N...what is it? Please, tell me."

You looked up to the ceiling and sniffled. "Is she better than me, did she make you happier?"

Jamie cocked an eyebrow. "I...I don't understand. Who, darling?"

You wiped your cheeks one after the other. "Amber." You let out a whimper. "Just, she seems to be the only person everyone wants to see you with. I'm just...I guess I'm afraid that I can't live up to her." You whimpered again, exhaling a shaky breath. "God, it sounds so stupid saying it out loud, I know...But I can't help but think..."

Jamie tightened his grip on your hands. "Y/N, are you serious? That's what has you upset?" He chuckled. "Babe, fuck. You make me so happy. You make me a better person, and make me want to still be even better. You are...my soulmate, darling." He took a beat. "You know what, you finish getting yourself ready. Let me take you out tonight. Come meet me in the garden in 10 minutes." He smiled, and reached a hand up to wipe a tear from your cheek.

You furrowed your brow in confusion, but you nodded. He stood up and placed a firm kiss on to your forehead before turning and walking out of the bathroom. You took a deep breath and stood up, walking over to the sink. You turned the faucet and splashed some cold water in your face, attempting to cool the inflamed skin that had taken up residence across your cheeks. You weren't sure what Jamie was doing, but he did make you feel a little better at least. You obliged his request, doing your makeup and finalizing your appearance before heading downstairs to meet him.

Rounding the corner, making your way toward the glass doors that lead to the house's back garden, you saw Jamie standing there outside. As you got closer to the threshold, you heard "La Vie En Rose" by Edith Piaf playing over a speaker. Jamie smiled as you stepped outside, and he beckoned you over with his arm. You continued over to him, as he reached to take both your hands in his own. He brought your hands up to place them on his shoulders, before he then lowered his, placing them on either side of your waist. He began to move the two of your side to side, dancing to the song. You smiled and instinctively leaned your head on his chest as you swayed, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"I love you, Y/N. I never want you to doubt that." He said sweetly, kissing the top of your head.

"I love you too." You replied.

Suddenly, he pulled the two of you apart. You held his gaze for a moment, your head tilting to one side in question. He then took a narrow step backing, lowering himself on to one knee, reaching into his pocket. Your heart rate jumped rapidly as you felt your body tense. Jamie quickly looked toward his pocket, pulling out a small ring box. His eyes came back up to yours, holding out the box in front of him as he opened it to reveal a diamond ring.

"I mean it, Y/N. I never want you to doubt how much I love you. And I want to love you, and only you, forever. Will you marry me?" He said, his eyes glassy with emotion.

Your mouth hung open as your hands flew to your face. After a few seconds of initial shock, you laughed to yourself as you wiped tears away. Your smile was so wide it was hurting your cheeks. You looked down at Jamie, his smile growing as well.

"How long have you had that?" You chuckled.

"About two months." He smirked.

"Oh my god..." Your threw your arms up in awe and shuffled your feet.

"You have yet to answer me, darling." Jamie laughed. "Don't leave me down here."

You looked him in the eye, leaning over to take his face in your hands, as you pulled him up and softly against your lips. You released your lips, and then brought your forehead against his, letting out a gentle sigh with a smile.

"Yes."

#jamie campbell bower imagine #jamie campbell bower x reader #jamie campbell bower #jamie bower #jamie campbell bower fanfic #jamie campbell bower x you

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

I have more thoughts about Chalice of the Gods

When I was getting through the first hundred pages or so I was a little :/ prob because I’m getting back into the books over a decade later and I had Expectations that I didn’t have as a kid. You could have thrown anything at me and I would have been DELIGHTED just to hear more of Percy’s story. I think the nostalgia factor was actually kind of a negative for me because I kept getting mad at the modern references and how low the stakes seemed to be. I did see a post about how it was good that Rick kept the books at whatever time he wrote them (in terms of references) because it’s literally just like the olympians growing and modernizing. You can’t stay stuck in the past. And I think keeping that perspective in mind will make rereads a lot more fun.

The low stakes seemed to bother me just because we’re so used to seeing Percy in horrible world ending situations and we just got out of HOO. But he really did deserve a break and it was helpful with developing his characterization

I didn’t expect the books to make me feel so emotional! I’ve been out of the horrifying college admissions process for a while now. But the questions he was wrestling with were very universal. At this point he’s accepted that the gods are what they are. There’s not much he can do to change them. He has to focus on himself and his future. And I am a little disappointed that his goals all seem to be around Annabeth. Like I love them but also he’s going to new Rome JUST for her it seems. But also when I was in high school I decided to go to college because that’s what Everyone Does right. I didn’t know trade school was an option. Feeling a little bit like ur life is on a set path and your choices are controlled by other people a bit was at least part of my high school experience. But also from a story perspective it does make sense that he wants to stick with Annabeth! They’ve been through a ridiculous amount together.

Sally having a kid and the emotions that it brought up was also a good way to show that transitional period between leaving home and starting a new life. Your parents are going to move on and do their own thing and their lives won’t revolve around you anymore. Also in general the whole Paul/sally/percy/annabeth dynamic was fucking amazing. The way Paul and sally accepted Annabeth into their lives and how happy they all are is what she fucking deserves!!

I think the end is what really got me. Some of it felt really silly and I did absolutely roll my eyes when Percy told the god he loved him and hugged him. But also him ACCEPTING that he would likely get old was so cathartic. This is a boy who was supposed to die at 16. And barely escaped death again after having his memories wiped and falling into fucking Tartarus. Hes never gotten a break and hes said, in multiple books, that he expects to die very young. This is the first time he says ‘wait I might survive this. I might get old and if I do it’ll be by Annabeth and Grover’s side.’ Percy fucking Jackson who has been the subject of COUNTLESS prophecies, who is reminded time and time again that he isn’t supposed to exist, even by people that he loves, (that was a lil mean of u in the intro Poseidon) CHOOSES to accept that he might get old. Like of course this boy doesn’t have much of a plan for his life yet other than ?? Follow Annabeth?? When has he gotten a chance to think about it!

This is something I did project upon a bit because I didn’t except to live to 18! Or 20! Or 22! And it’s only now at 24 that I’m starting to Accept that I might be here a little longer than I expected and now I have to Plan Accordingly. Like I have to learn these stupid life skills and figure out what I Want from my life now. And unlike Percy, I’m a little angry about it lol because I never expected to have this problem!! But, I too, am slowly accepting that time on earth is a gift or whatever. At the very least I’m stuck here for the foreseeable future so I might as well use it to learn who I am. I GUESS. In my life, Death has always been this ever-present choice I could take if things got a little too tough and I don’t know if that door will ever fully close but I have been dragged away from it kicking and screaming so. Might as well stick around. I’m still a little bitter about it honestly but I’ll get over it. I have to learn how to COOK guys. How fucked up is that. To care about the mundane all of a sudden??

Anyways. I doubt that’s the metaphor Rick was going for, it was probably more of a ‘your childhood ends! You’re gonna get older and that’s a good thing’ instead of a ‘one day you might not have killed yourself and you’ll realize that you’re actually stuck living this life and you gotta learn to fucking deal with it.’

Ok I could go on for hours so this is the last thing. Percy’s conversation with Poseidon, about how small waves are the ones that matter the most, REALLY resonated with me. Like I think I teared up at two parts of this book, the old age part and the conversation with between them at the end. It’s really easy to convince yourself that the way you alter your life is through Sweeping All-Consuming Change where you move to a different continent and begin anew. Unfortunately, through bitter experience, I’ve learned that’s not how things fucking work. Changing your surroundings does lead to new experiences but it doesn’t make ur problems go away! I moved halfway across the state and got what I genuinely believe is the best job on earth and I. Still have the same issues?? And then I thought ok maybe I was wrong this Wasn’t the best job I just need to find one that’s Better but that’s. Not how things work.

This is getting away from me but basically what I’m trying to say is u can make grand changes and it might fix u for a little while but unfortunately you have to put in the work and do the stupid boring mundane things like go on walks and journal and exercise and do things that scare the fuck out of u to actually change and grow and it’s so goddamn annoying. I should be able to become a different person just by being somewhere else but I can’t.

Wait I’m supposed to be relating this to Percy Jackson. So Percy can go on these life altering world defining quests right. And make all the right choices. But who he is at his core is defined by the choices that he makes when the stakes aren’t that high. When it would be So Easy to walk away from Ganymede and go live his life. And I know some people didn’t like that Poseidon was like ‘this is when I knew you were a hero’ of fucking COURSE he knows Percy has been this hero his whole life. But he’s also this person when there isn’t some prophecy, when he doesn’t have to be, when it’s just a mild inconvenience. It’s easy to talk about changing the world. It’s harder to go out there and take those little baby steps that don’t feel like they matter all that much. He has actually changed the world and just not talked about it but hopefully u get what I’m saying. I just liked that thing about small waves being able to sweep you off your feet when you didn’t expect it ok!! Most change is incremental!!

Ok that’s it. Loved Chalice, will probably enjoy it more on a reread and it resonated with me in ways I didn’t expect.

#chalice of the gods #pjo cotg #percy jackson #tw suicide #this is just how many ever words it is of me projecting on Percy oops #I’m almost hesitant to post cause a. I’m not reading over it b. it’s a lil personal #but also I have work to do so I’m not proofreading #mine

[hopelesscalico]

Summuruay and i might ask more in depth from there 👍

ok!! o7 my preface is that i am a big ttrpg player so quite a few of these stories are owed in part to my friends + my boyfriends!! but i have plenty of original projects too :)

first up: WHOREVILLE! whoreville is a ttrpg campaign dmed by my wonderful boyfriend @rin0a! it was poorly named as a joke a little over three years ago when we started playing it and now we are all (unfortunately) much too attached to the name to try and change it. whoreville is set in a modern fantasy setting, where elves and magic and other similarly fantastical things exist alongside iphones. we follow a party of 5 characters (zoey, aurelia, twig, celeste, and minseo) as they are tormented by tempus, the god of both war and being extremely gay-coded! the party is basically played with like little dolls, being forced into problem after problem because tempus loves to make a certain dryad man (and company) suffer for his own amusement. they spend most of their time solving various other peoples problems as well as uncovering their own pasts bc their secrets are often exposed against their will. (the party is full of little mentally ill little liars) the question continues to arise: WHY US???? AHHH!!!

my most important character in whoreville (and also of all time) is AURELIA CERVANTES!!!! she’s a 19 year old half-elf girl who is as dumb as she is kind! she loves to talk, loves meeting new people, and is intensely emotional at all times. her very favorite things are her friends, dogs, fashion and romance! she is extremely silly, bisexual, and full of LIES!!! while aurelia initially appears to be a fairly well-adjusted girl, her happy-go-lucky demeanor masks an extremely turbulent past (and present!) of struggling with incredibly severe mental illness. she has a methodical system in place to make herself seem as “normal” as possible at all times. she is also in head over heels love with her fellow party member and best friend zoey (the aforementioned dryad man) but he has yet to catch her drift being that he is so dense you could probably smash a brick on his head and he wouldn’t notice.

i am also in possession of a retired pc named EDEN LIETO! eden is a 25 year old faun woman who is extremely and unequivocally lame and could be accurately described as Constantly having a stick up her ass. she’s extremely quick to anger, and she’s incredibly blunt at best and outright mean at worst. buuuut… internally, eden is a very kind lady who has had to harden up throughout the course of a very difficult life. she has devoted her life to the selfless goal of helping as many children in need as she possibly can. she just… struggles a lot with feelings. she is not currently in play in whoreville being that her character arc is pretty much over and she has moved back in to live with her family in her hometown (after leaving home as a teenager) but! she does still exist.

secondly: SENTENCE REPOSE! sentence repose is a… i guess you could say part collaborative writing project part roleplay part?? ttrpg campaign, sort of, hypothetically? again, the world was thought up by my boyfriend rinoa! the plot follows lil homie gay ass (a campy little 13 year old named isaac) and his quest to get vengeance on the corrupt government responsible for the deaths of them and their entire town (after being brought back to life by the son of the man who killed him). isaac doesn’t work completely alone, though! he travels with a group of people from various backgrounds, initially recruited by isaac as temporary assistance but the 8 of them end up working together as a longer term arrangement. the story follows each of them over the span of many years as they slowly work to tackle the monolith that is SENTENCE MOTION…. (the miserable government/corporation/monarchy hybrid that runs their country)

JOAN GAYE-WAZOWSKI is one of 2 characters i own who travel the party! she’s a 16-year old elf girl who was turned into a robot by isaac’s estranged father in order to optimize her own quest for vengeance. she is seeking to avenge the deaths of her long-deceased parents, who she believes to have been murdered by the government. (they weren’t.) she prides herself on her bizarre nature, deliberately utilizing words that haven’t been used since 1930 mid-conversation to disarm anyone foolish enough to converse with her. basically, she talks like she’s playing 4d chess. her hobbies include making dangerous chemical concoctions with no safety gear, publishing shitty yaoi-artstyle art on deviantart, and being annoying on purpose.

LUCIEN SHIROSAWA is my other main sentence repose character! he’s an incredibly gentle and kind 14 year old human boy who loves babies, dad rock, and bad y/a romance. lucien is a boy on a quest to prove their worth as an adventurer, after being largely ignored by their neglectful parents their entire life. (parents who just so happen to be employed by the very corrupt government the party is seeking to dismantle! would you look at that!) largely, lucien is much too nice for his own good, and struggles with extreme gender dysphoria as well seeing his disabled body as valuable.

next would be my own ttrpg campaign, SIGNPOST! iiiiiim the dm of signpost! it’s about working together to stop the end of the world, friendship-is-magic bullshit, and a whole lot of dyke drama. there are 8 main characters in signpost, 5 of those being npcs belonging to me and 3 of them belonging to various friends of mine.

my first npc is C1C4D4 VON CARINON!! c1c4d4 is a 26 year old wild elf + tgirl computer scientist who works heavily in robotics and is an aspiring SUPERVILLAIN!!!! NYAHAHAHAHA!!!! c1c4d4 is a weirdgirl, first and foremost. she is a self described “evil genius” who loves to make fun of people and get up to mischief for her own amusement. she’s mean, she’s a loser, and she thinks she’s much, much, cooler than she is. but it’s ok!! she’s funny about it!! >:3c

c1c4d4 works alongside famed assassin LILY VON CARINON. lily is an uptight 28 year old human woman who is in incredible homodenial and has been for a period of many years. she’s unbelievably cagey about her life, emotions, and interests, and she dedicates nearly all of her free time to doing work. she is obsessed with coming off as cool, calm, collected, and incapable of having human feelings. her and her coworker/roommate/best friend c1c4d4, though, are unbelievably in love with each other. both of them are so out of touch with their emotions, though, that they basically just live the lifestyle of a married couple without being formally in a relationship. (notice they have the same last name? yeah.)

JIMMY OF THE SEAS is a 38 year old demigod of the ocean! he is the epitome of a claire’s girl except grown up and gone transgender. he’s loud, eccentric, talkative, and constantly frantically jumping from task to conversation to task again. he has a bit of difficulty keeping on track, and usually just tends to go with the flow and listen to his impulses. ae’s the son of the ocean goddess, maraniah, who is… not the most thoughtful of parents. ae has spent a lot of aer life dealing with the societal pressure of being related to a major deity. not fun!

JUSTIN TOLINOV is earths most miserable guy!! :( he is a 37 year old human man who is unbelievably catatonically depressed. because of this, he tends to be just a little bit… boring. he’s a sweet guy, though! he’s incredibly overworked and constantly stressed due to his inability to say no to other people in any circumstance. his hobbies include crying when his friends argue, prematurely wrinkling, and doing exactly what everyone else wants him to do all the time.

and finally there is DANELA!!!! danela is the silliest pinkest tiefling girl of all time who the party found wandering alone in the woods with total amnesia. she doesn’t remember anything but her own first name! (including how old she is.) she is upbeat, naive, and is slowly relearning everything about the world one step at a time. it’s hard to stay mad at her, considering that she kind of acts like an overgrown child. she likes to bite people and try putting new things into her mouth (whether that be pop-tarts or human blood) she loves baking (even if she is terrible at it) and her friends! yippee!!!!!!!

MICHISINO is a ttrpg campaign dmed by my friend @crashed-on-mars !! it’s set on our normal planet earth, but with the bonus addition of monsters! monsters are largely discriminated against by humankind and are forced to try and exist under the radar of humans. our main adventuring party is made up of 4 different monsters + 1 human girl. mostly, the party is trying very hard to live their little domestic family lifestyle and being interrupted by The Horrors 😱

MYLEEN “MJ” KALASHNIK is a 26 year old ukrainian woman! she was born human but was cursed as a teenager and is now a freaky three-winged three-horned creature lady! she struggles socially and tends to be kind of awkward and emotionally distant because of it. but she’s just a silly really. she just has severe mental issues. she used to have an insatiable need to eat human brains but don’t worry she got better. 😁 also she is fully and genuinely obsessed with her…. Platonic Coparent miriam aka blackjack who belongs to bobby grasslandbutch. she has severe autistic girl swagger. and also female absent father swagger. hobbies include playing the google snake game and killing herself

TETYANA “ANA” KALASHNIK is mj’s 12 year old younger sister/child that she adopted! ana is obsessed with mj and thinks she is the coolest person ever to be born. mj is her number one role model of all time, which mj hates deeply because she insists she is not a good person to look up to (and. she’s right) ana is just generally super chipper and friendly and goofy and she loves soccer and sonic the hedgehog. she has the need to like Prove Herself which is not really going well being that she is 12

OK PSA. IM GOING TO TRY AND MAKE THE REST OF THESE SHORTER BECAUSE IM REALIZING HOW LONG THESE ARE

i have a couple of other miscellaneous player characters including LIZZIE WELLS a semiverbal and deeply stoic swordfighter girl who loves reddit and nature documentaries EHNOS VALJAS a 12 year old chosen one with a lot of rage boiling inside them who is on a quest to save the world and ALPHIE SOUP a nasty little werecat girlboy who loves making bad music and being a shithead

i have a hypothetical video game bouncing around my head called DERANGED, OUR SAVIOR that follows a self-aware protagonist named MENCHIE DESDEPOT who loves when they’re right and everyone else is wrong. since they know they are the protagonist they are usually very very very annoying about it. they travel alongside ALLEY OOPS, their best friend and freakish jestergirl extraordinaire, as well as ANZAVEL ECKRY, a magical fantastical little creature who is deeply kind but dumb as a rock.

the next 2 projects are currently unnamed! the first is a short story i want to write someday that takes place in a kind of campy goofy sci-fi setting years in the distant future after time and space fucked up real bad and earth kind of gets merged w/ this other planet. the mainest characters are GOOSE LUNDQVIST and ANDY PRASERITSANG a pair of middle school weirdgirls who do lesbians together. goose is incredibly curious and loud and eclectic and quirkygirl and andy is quiet (only because he finds most other people insufferable) and kind of standoffish. but also CILREA (whose full name i won’t even bother typing out because it’s so long) is there and she’s an alien girl who is kind of a well-meaning little know it all . and CUPID!!!! who is an ai robot who stumbles upon godlike capabilities on accident but she stays silly. she loves old technology and glitter and big bows.

this other project i am working on is like a medievalish fantasy type setting? it takes place on a big continent called the starlet that is mostly populated by HUMANS but is also lived in by ANGELS and DEVILS and sometimes also WEREWOLVES and VAMPIRES and such. my goal with this one was to create a world big enough that i could tell multiple stories completely unrelatedly in the same setting! since there are multiple stories being told there are kind of a lot of players in the ring so let me rapid fire. IRE is a 247 year old undead man who got killed and brought back to life wrong but then got killed again and brought back to life normal so now he’s kind of chilling. MERRYMAKING JOY is ire’s dead angel (literal!) wife and the love of his life 4ever and ever. she haunts the narrative or whatever. also there’s SPROUT BELLWHISTLE ire’s silly little girl friend/semidaughter. and also TAXI VISCERA a 16 year old who wants ire to blow up and die so bad because ire like wronged his family a longass time ago and also LARK MALARKEY (neurotic) and KATZIN DOGS (insane) some old friends of ire’s. AND THEN, UNRELATEDLY! there’s DUSTY WHIMSY an ex-princess turned paladin of the wastelands on an honorable quest to defend the peace. a certain guy named THE WORLD ENDER or twe for short is her dedicated rival and a political revolutionary seeking to incite chaos on a massive scale. there is also dusty’s girlslay sister SUNNY WHIMSY who is next in line 4 the crown and her loyal knight/bff of many years DOVE RADIANCE!

^_^ ok i have a couple other minor projects too but those are the big ones !!

#ok. i am SO FUCKING SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #ToT #i am sooooooo incapable of summarizing things shortly and i have soooo many projects #if u read all of these u r literally my favorite person ever #nonsense.txt #my little mailbox #thanks again for the ask this was so fun to write :3 #and if you want to see any of them in particular i have copious art of all of them #i just didnt attach images 4 the sake of keeping this behemoth as short as possible #cjocs

[shadyufo]

first art thing ive done in like two months is sculpt a pile of guts

not super detailed cause they are just gonna be covered in blood in the end lol

#gore #guts #fiiiiinally painting that xenomorph model kit I built a couple of years ago #cant resist adding some gore #it aint gonna be perfect but at least its something #my brain has been absolutely zapped lately #ive had mountains of ideas for fun future projects coming together in my head #including a couple of new painted skull designs im really excited about #but my motivation is absolutely nowhere to be found #thought this lil silly project might get things moving again #as they say #help with the motivation constipation lol #so we'll see #words #art #customizing #custom painting

[clansayeed]

Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ― Chapter 12: The Return

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ⥽

While struggling with nightmares of lives she’s never lived, a shadow from the past looming over her city, and the proposed idea that her life may just be a little bit too weird to handle alone, Nadya makes sure to tell herself that everything is perfect just the way it is. If only. When the self-proclaimed King of Vampires (and Maker of her sometimes-girlfriend and always-boss, can’t forget that little tidbit) Gaius Augustine returns intent on claiming Manhattan as the throne that was promised, she and her friends find themselves forced into the task of saving the world. But with millennia-old vampires and an Order of hunters on their heels as well as allies hiding catastrophic secrets at their backs… it won’t be an easy task. Too bad destiny didn’t exactly ask for her input.

Bound by Destiny II and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny II tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

The gang returns to New York with a well-earned victory under their belts. But that means Nadya has to face Kamilah, and she isn't quite sure she knows how to feel just yet.

[READ IT ON AO3]

Nadya leans on the rail with a wistful sigh. Takes a moment and just… lets herself enjoy the peace of being at peace. No memories haunting her behind her eyelids, no immediate danger… at least none she can see right in front of her.

No, the only thing in front of her is New Orleans. The French Quarter spread out for blocks around her in vibrant colors going pale against the purpling sky. It’ll be dawn soon.

Did she sigh already? Well… no harm in another one.

Taylor’s learned his lesson in sneaking up on her. Why else would he knock on the door leading up to the roof instead of taking advantage of one final attempt to startle her silly?

He clicks his tongue with a wry look. “Careful now, that sigh right there, that’s trouble. Means you’re falling in love with this place and you won’t ever wanna leave.”

Nadya can’t help it that she laughs.

“Are you trying to sound like Garrus?” It sounds like something the fae would say, actually.

“No, and frankly you don’t want to hear my Garrus impersonation,” he hesitates; waits for Nadya’s little go-ahead of a nod before joining her overlooking the city as it begins to put itself to sleep, “it’s not very good. My Ivy on the other hand…”

Their laughter is soft and polite. They wouldn’t dare jostle the world below.

“I mean, when I went off to college I had dreams of road trips on spring break, summers spent with one program or another. New Orleans was always on my list.”

“And did she live up to the hype?”

Now how exactly is Nadya supposed to answer that honestly? “Well college-aged me probably wouldn’t have been hanging around the Graveyard Shift, that’s all I’ll say.”

“Nadya, babe, you have got to stop being a hard mood,” Taylor places a hand to his chest, “my little empath heart just can’t take much more of it.”

She shoves him (gently) and their laugh is a little less awkward the second time around. Probably because he is, indeed, an empath. And he gets exactly what she’s feeling right now.

Longing — exhaustion — trepidation — to name a few.

He nudges her shoulder with his own. “You’ll have to come back when everything’s fixed on your end; see the city for real, you know? Not just all the bad things.”

Not like she goes searching for the bad things, thanks. They just kind of… happen dangerously close in her proximity. “I’d like that. Lil’ too, for sure.”

“Oh, for sure. Though I have a feeling her and Ivy together might be a bit more trouble than Nik’ll want to deal with.”

And on that Nadya can most certainly agree. Not that she does so with words. Strangely she doesn’t feel much like talking right now. Not-so-strangely, Taylor doesn’t either. So they lean in mutual silence and watch the streets below. People going through the motions; living their lives.

Lives far less strange than theirs.

The blue of the dawn is just starting to bleed orange when he finally speaks again.

“You’re not used to winning the day, are you?” She isn’t surprised in the least to look and see that strange iridescence back in his irises.

“I don’t have enough coffee in me to answer a question like that,” which — that’s her answer; but Taylor definitely isn’t taking it, “I mean… back when all this stuff started; we won then, I think. Adrian was exonerated and Jax joined the Council and Vega wasn’t trying to kill me anymore —”

Taylor holds up a finger. “Wait — like the missing Senator, that Vega?”

“You knew him?”

“Uh, Vee and our friend Kristin lived up there together. Wait a second—he was a vam— no… that’s not the point. Sorry, please continue.”

God, is that how I look to other people, Nadya wonders; but it’s humbling to see somehow.

“Anyway… I thought everything turned out for the better, and for a while it was better. But now that I think about it…” Gaius, Jameson, the Trinity; all of them lurking just on the other side of the two-way glass. Waiting for the time to strike and take her happiness away; to pluck memories from her she never asked for all in pursuit of some epic fantasy-level world conquering.

If the fight wasn’t over, did that still count as a victory?

“And you’re left wondering if this is the same deal. If you’ve really won, or if there’s more stuff—worse stuff—just out of sight.” Taylor finishes for her. Still a little weird and possibly more akin to mind-reading than the half-fae originally led her to believe, but for the moment she’s glad to not have to say it.

“Yeah, exactly.”

His hand comes to rest over Nadya’s on the railing. He’s warmer than he should be and the sun’s got nothing to do with it. Likely his weirdness is helped by touch, too. Which Taylor all but confirms aloud when a sudden but not unwelcome ease relaxes the tension she didn’t know she’d gathered in her shoulders.

“I can’t offer any answers, and I don’t think I’d want to. With my luck I’d be wrong and you’d hate me forever.” He’s joking but Nadya still rolls her eyes and shakes her head for it.

“But I can say that no matter what happens? You’ll always have friends here to call up if needed.”

What is she supposed to say to something so sincere? “Same to you, Taylor, same to you.”

A sleek black car with tinted windows pulls around the corner and onto their lonely street to park right in front of the bar.

Looks like their ride is here.

Kamilah isn’t waiting for them when the plane pulls into the nice and shady hangar. Nadya tells herself she isn’t surprised by this… but she’s trying not to tell herself mostly-truths lately either. Luckily she’s still too exhausted (and she’s pretty sure she only got about half an hour’s nap in the entire time they were in New Orleans) to make much of a fuss about it.

In fact, Nadya barely remembers sending a text off before she and Lily both are being ushered into the back seat of one of Adrian’s company cars.

[TEXT]: back in NY and miss you like crazy. can we plz talk?? [TEXT]: its nadia

And its the most dreamless, dead-to-the-world-est sleep she knew she needed but didn’t know how to get. Staying awake for near-days and going through every emotion under the sun and also dealing with a high-stakes pursuit weren’t exactly on her list of viable solutions to her sleeping troubles.

Ergo the point of all this — no one is allowed to think her anything less than totally justified when Nadya wakes up in her own bed, in her own bedroom, sometime well after sunset and thinks for even the smallest second that everything was just a dream. She knows logically that it wasn’t… but still.

Totally justified.

When her eyes adjust to the lack of light Nadya realizes she’s not alone. There’s a figure sitting on the edge of her bed nearest the window, away from the door. Giving her the chance to escape if she needs it; making sure she doesn’t feel trapped.

Only one person would do that.

She fumbles for her glasses on the nightstand but leaves her bedside lamp untouched. Can’t shake the feeling like if she does turn the lights on then Kamilah will vanish. This is better for them both.

“Hi.”

Something moves near her head; Nadya leans back to see the woman pulling her fingertips away from where they had been combing through her hair gently. She wants it back so much she aches from the loss of them.

“Hello,” replies Kamilah; sounding awfully breathless for a woman who doesn’t need to breathe, “did you rest well? You… seemed to need it.”

Probably not what she meant to ask judging by the way the neon signs from across the street illuminate her in postmodern beauty. It’s okay though — Nadya isn’t sure she has the courage yet to say what really needs saying.

“When did you get here…?”

“Shortly after your return. Oh, Lily wished for you to know she’s left for the evening. She didn’t leave a message as to why.”

So it’s just been Nadya and Kamilah in the apartment for at least the daylight hours. Alone; together. And not talking about their problems.

When Nadya sits up (in part to look at Kamilah better, in part to make sure she doesn’t fall back asleep on accident) the bed dips as Kamilah shifts back; makes to stand and leave her with all this twin-sized budget bed kit to herself. And because she can’t stand a thought so terrible Nadya reaches out and stops her with a hand on her arm.

“Kamilah.”

A long pause — then; “Yes, Nadya?”

“Why are you here?”

“You messaged me,” so Nadya of course fumbles for her phone and finds it charging under her pillow, “though I suppose I should have realized you were exhausted beyond recognition.”

“Why’s that?”

“You spelled your own name wrong.”

Upon further inspection yes, yes she did. “Glad you weren’t expecting some other disaster you’re dating also named Nadia…” That she chooses not to dwell on the fact that she may have very well used that word for the first time in the middle of their first fight is actually self-care.

Or — she doesn’t until Kamilah’s been quiet for an awfully long time.

“Uhm — I take that back, actually — what I meant was…”

“I won’t disagree.”

Only Kamilah Sayeed could look so perfect framed in the flickering lights of a discount electronics shop.

“But you’re my disaster.”

Nadya kisses her because every other time it’s been Kamilah who takes the lead, takes charge, takes her. This isn’t some attempt to switch that dynamic either (in fact Nadya’s very happy with it just the way it is) but what else is she supposed to do seeing all these vulnerable parts of such an invulnerable woman one right after the other?

But — no, she can’t fall into this. Fall into her. Not without talking. But holy mother of crap she doesn’t wanna do anything but moan at the lips soft on her cheeks, her chin, her throat…

“Kamilah.”

Nadya only has to say her name once. They both know how this works. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel the hesitance; the resistance before they part and she all but forces them to meet eye-to-eye. Nor does it mean that she doesn’t take just the tiniest bit of happiness from it.

When Nadya starts pulling away Kamilah holds on just a little bit tighter. Only for a moment; then its gone.

“We can’t not —” — talk about this.

“I know; I agree.”

And she’s got a whole speech planned out in bullet points; not even fully seated and she’s already buzzing to jump right into it. Until—

“I was uncertain and without control. I fell back on old habits to bring my life to a heel — but those were the wrong choices to make. They nearly cost me… something very important.”

Kamilah’s hand falls open on top of the bedspread and Nadya takes it for the offering it is. Their fingers slot together familiar and like nothing’s changed but this is different. This is talking about it; this is… this is Kamilah apologizing. “They nearly cost me you, Nadya.”

Now is not the time to go all red in the face and flustered. Nadya’s willpower is astounding frankly. “There was never a second where I doubted that you cared. Not about what I was going through, or what it was doing to… to everything in my life. But I think there was a part of me that didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to believe that you and… and the you I saw were —” — were the same person.

Kamilah’s thumb strokes along her knuckles slow and rhythmic. “My thoughts are the same. I am not fragments of a woman; a queen, different than a soldier, different than a killer, different than who I am today. I am all of those things and more. And perhaps still there are parts of myself I have not yet come to know.”

Nadya chances a look up while she listens, but it’s the words Kamilah doesn’t say that catch her by surprise. The ones about who that person she doesn’t know could be. And—god she hopes she’s not reading too much into this—who she could be that person with.

“I think I get it now.”

“And what would that be?”

She squeezes their hands until it hurts because she knows it’s probably the weight of a feather to someone like Kamilah.

“We were scared of the same thing and for the same reasons; you… and your past. But I wanted to know more. I—I wanted to talk about it, without thinking of how hard bringing up all of those bad memories might be for you.”

Kamilah purses her lips and offers a slow nod. “Insightful; and perhaps I was so insistent on trying to keep that knowledge from you that I did not stop to consider what… I was saying in withholding it.”

Now the question is… where do they go from here?

“So we work on that — we try and… understand what the other is doing when she…”

“Makes a mistake she instantly regrets?”

Nadya smiles, but it’s strained. “That’s half of the things I do anyway though.”

“You know my meaning in the context of this, Nadya.”

“Yeah, but that’s not my only problem.” Which isn’t the best word she could use but at the moment she’s not focusing so much on word choice as actual feelings. And Nadya… feels a problem. There’s a breath of a second where it feels like Kamilah might start to pull away, but it passes.

She thinks better of it. She tries to understand.

“You are amazing, Kamilah. You are this… super gorgeous, super smart, super old—in a good way I swear—and super experienced vampire. But it’s not a smart thing for us to—to ignore that.”

“I wasn’t under the impression we had been.”

This is more painful to admit than Nadya thought it was gonna be. There’s no turning back now though; no ‘Restart from Checkpoint’ or save to load.

And this is so so important. Nadya wants to follow through, and not just for the sake of them. She deserves it for herself. “Maybe you haven’t — but I have. I thought that was the only way we were gonna make this work. Only, if I ignore that then I’m ignoring the fact that you are always going to have a power over me. A physical one. You lashed out and…”

“And I could have hurt you.” That Kamilah’s hand tightens with hers is the literal definition of ironic but she knows it comes from a good place; the same place all that honesty was walled up inside now pouring out.

“Nadya, please tell me you know I would never have hurt you. I don’t think I could.”

“That’s not the point. The point is you were angry, and your first reaction was to try and scare me into running away.”

See, this is Nadya’s problem. There’s a reason her life is so organized — without all her colored pens and sticky notes and multiple tabs that always end up in the strangest places, she’s a literal human mess. Prone to rambling and impulsive actions that aren’t always good for her health; physical and emotional both.

She didn’t organize this part of her talk with Kamilah. She didn’t even know this part existed. And now it’s out there in the world without a label tacked on and… and…

“And I don’t think that’s something I’m quite… over, yet.”

Nadya trusts Kamilah still; she doesn’t flinch away when the woman’s free hand comes up to her cheek — thumbs away a tear she didn’t know was falling. She can separate the then from the now.

But at the end of the day her trust and the way she had felt betrayed that night… they weren’t mutually exclusive.

She turns her face into the lingering palm. When she exhales her breath rattles in her lungs.

“I miss you.”

Kamilah’s hand betrays her composed silence; the barest tremor. “I’m here, Nadya.”

Nadya who doesn’t want to pull back, never wanted to pull back… but what is she saying to herself if she doesn’t?

“I miss you,” she repeats, “and I still care about you — I don’t really see that changing any time soon. And I’ll forgive you, really—I will. I just need some time.”

I know there are no promises you’ll be there when I’m ready, or if you won’t have moved on, or if you can’t forgive me for not forgiving you, or for not understanding you, or for making you feel this way. But I feel this way too.

And in all the things she wants to say but doesn’t, Nadya’s left still and heartbroken. Completely by her own design.

The bed dips and Nadya lets her eyes flutter closed as Kamilah’s lips press to her forehead. Not so much a kiss as a touch; something sincere and solid and so so sad.

Kamilah commits the warmth and life of her to memory. Nadya dares to hope that some day they’ll have all of this again.

She has to. If anything deserves hope right now it’s them.

Finally — too soon, too damned soon — a whisper tickles at her hairline.

“I’ll be here.”

When she opens her eyes Nadya is alone.

Jax has a really good point; if the heat from Adrian’s industrial-grade blowtorch hadn’t been enough to melt the gold, then they probably didn’t need to worry about his sword scratching the stupid thing up in any way that didn’t lend to opening it.

Everyone still backs up a few paces for good measure. They’ve all seen him in action — and the man needs a wide berth.

Nadya closes her eyes and braces herself but she still isn’t prepared for the hollow screeching clang every time the sharpened steel collides with the surface of the Amulet. One—two—three.

He stops after three. Judging by the enraged determination in his eye though he’d keep going given the opportunity.

Lily throws her hands up before crossing out ‘ASSAULT BY KATANA’ on the transparent eraser board. “I’m calling it. This thing is a horcrux.”

“A what?” asks Adrian, but Nadya just gives him the now familiar “I’ll explain it later” wave-off. Because unless pop culture references were the secret puzzle to opening the Amulet of Nero they weren’t that important in the moment.

She pushes her glasses up and unsuccessfully stifles a yawn with the back of her hand. Brings her focus back to their list of attempts to crack open (literally) the case… all of which have failed miserably.

‘METALWORKING HAMMER’ ‘REGULAR HAMMER’ ‘BLOWTORCH’ ‘ASKING IT NICELY’ (Nadya’s idea) ‘OPEN SESAME’ (Maricruz’s idea) ‘ASSAULT BY KATANA’

Off to the left Lily’s circled ‘MISSING KEY??’ over and over in the corner and while they had all agreed to try and hold out on just not having found the right amount of physical force they might as well face it.

They’re running out of options.

Adrian clears his throat and stares hard enough at Nadya that the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. “Ahem, Nadya, could you…?”

“Oh — yes — sorry guys, my bad.”

When she pulls the cover back over the Amulet the difference is immediate. The tension leaves her friends’ shoulders; they sit a little less restless and their eyes are a little less bordering-vampish.

Nadya wasn’t the only one who had been content to write off the strange aura that had come over the vampires in Isadora de la Rosa’s booth as nothing more than trepidation for the inevitable. Now, however, they have to face the facts.

There’s something in the Amulet that draws vampires to it. Cadence had said so himself — when he talked about generations of vampire influence. It’s not enough to incite a war (about which Nadya was admittedly worried, and with good reason given their track record) but covering it was a noticeable benefit to rational thinking.

They only have one thing going for them right now; if they can’t open it then no one else can, either. Hopefully that includes the Trinity. Maybe it even includes Gaius. Who knows? They certainly don’t.

There are too many unknowns — and they’re starting to take a toll on everyone in one form or another.

Adrian begins to gather up the dozens of data graphs spread out in front of him. “With that, I think we’ve come to a natural stopping point for the evening.” And nobody disagrees.

While Nadya carefully wraps the Amulet back up to return it to the R&D vault, Lily leans on her elbows and watches.

“I take it we still haven’t heard from Cadence? What about calling up Izzy?”

If only she had good news to give. “Nope; and I already did. She definitely remembers feeling that weird magnetism to it before it was repossessed by Persephone but nothing beyond that that she knew of. Actually,” she throws a look over to Adrian, “she suggested one thing; witch-fire? Something like that.”

He seems hesitant to mull the idea over. But they were desperate enough to let Jax hit it repeatedly, so…

“I’ll look into a few contacts. That kind of magic should only be used sparingly and in dire cases.”

“Would this count?”

A beat. “Probably. We would have to run it by the Council, though.” Which kind of nulls even the idea. Since everyone had agreed not to tell the rest of the Council yet. Not only because of the Amulet’s potential.

Lester, Priya, the Baron — Nadya likes to try and see the best in people as much as possible but they don’t make it easy on her. None of them are certain who would, if it came down to it, side against Gaius for a second time.

Nothing is unlikely anymore.

Wow, their shortest-lived idea yet.

Nadya nods towards the vault for Lily to follow. “As for the other thing — Kathy’s starting to get worried. I guess he left town a day after we did.” Which the Nighthunter had admitted wasn’t off-brand for Cadence. But the museum had let slip (which Nadya knows means ‘been bullied into admitting’) that he had been granted a leave of absence; very off-brand.

“The one thing he’s always had is that damn museum. No identity, no Izzy, and we both know I’m a recent development. He was a manic mess the first time that kind of dissociation happened.” The Nighthunter had kept her cool better than Nadya would have in her situation. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t worried ill.

“What if it’s worse this time,” even through the phone she couldn’t hide her concern; her fear, “what if he hurts himself? What if he hurts someone else?”

Hopefully they find him soon. But she’s met that strange group of people; the regulars at the Graveyard Shift. If anyone has the ability (and sheer force of stubborn will, to be honest) to find Cadence it’s them.

“I mean, if I went Jekyll and Hyde around a chick as crazy as that Trinity woman, I’d probably want to get away for my own health too.”

Lily’s comment doesn’t sit well with her; luckily at her admonishing look she at least looks apologetic. “You know what I mean.”

“I also know a little bit of what he’s going through.”

There’s an “ahem” behind them as Nadya spins the wheel on the vault. Adrian definitely has the look of someone who knows he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping but was anyway.

“Speaking of.”

Only… she’d rather not speak of it until it becomes a problem. “It’s fine,” she replies, and waves it off. That was what they’d agreed on for the time being, right? And there haven’t been any problems.

Turns out feeling the weight of relationship-burdened depression the moment you walk through your front door lends to a pretty heavy sleeping pattern. Like Nadya’s body doesn’t want her to do anything but try to get through the next day, and the next, and maybe… just maybe the one after that.

Adrian doesn’t seem immediately convinced. “Promise?”

“Pinky promise.” Which — he still doesn’t really get the concept but the verbal agreement is enough.

Once the lab is fully shut down they manage to pile together into the elevator. Jax thumbs at his phone, blows the hair out of his eyes just a little too close to Nadya’s ear for her liking. She swats him away because personal bubble.

“What’s the matter?”

“Eh, Espinoza wants —” But he catches himself with a look in Lily’s direction. “— something. She wants something. And I gotta… go get it.”

Nadya and Adrian just shake their heads and laugh at him while Lily pretends with absolutely no tact whatsoever not to know what he’s talking about. She even sticks her fingers in her ears like that’ll somehow stop her super vampire hearing.

Jax, somehow with even less tact, like negative tact, takes it as permission to lean and murmur on Nadya’s free side. “Apparently Lula got into the cake. So…”

“Weren’t there three?” Adrian hisses, surprised.

“You’ll get it when you meet her.”

Nadya reaches around and pats Jax’s chest awkwardly. “Good luck with that. Maybe try putting them in the passenger seat this time.”

“Shut up.”

“Just saying… third time’s the charm you know.”

When she gives Lily a nod in ‘all clear’ everyone knows she heard everything. But she’s just excited to know Maricruz is going as all-out as she possibly can, so who would be so heartless as to spoil the whole thing by just admitting the obvious?

Adrian lets them all off on the ground level and offers Nadya one last chance to go home early. “What do you pay her for if you keep giving her chances to not work?” And Jax raises a good point — too good of a point. She maybe shoves him in front of her with all her might, and he maybe stumbles. The world may never know. “Just saying — let me know next time there’s an opening.”

“I’ll be up in a sec. I just have to stake him first.”

She and Lily wave until the doors close. Yes, they live together and see each other every day. Yes, they recently defied death in New Orleans together. But its rare now that Nadya and Lily get a chance to unwind like they used to. So whenever it comes along they’re both there to indulge greedy and giggling.

“Mari’s really going all out with this party, huh?”

It’s a valiant effort but Lily doesn’t look so much humbly embarrassed as expectantly excited. “I think I’m in love, Nadi’,” she jumps the next few steps like hopscotch, “she was fully ready to get a bouncy castle.”

“How are they going to fit a bouncy castle in the Shadow Den?”

“Oh I didn’t say I let her. But she was planning on it, and isn’t that what true love is all about?”

Nadya tries not to falter. Key word being tries. And around anyone else she might do everything in her power not to draw attention to it but this is Lily. Who found her huddled up in bed hours after Kamilah’s farewell and called to cancel her own date to stay with her; to be there for her and give her all the hugs she desperately needed but didn’t know how to ask for.

She doesn’t need to pretend around that kind of love and friendship.

But before Nadya can apologize Lily starts up an air drum solo in front of her while they walk. “And winner for Most Insensitive Best Friend Ever is — drum roll…”

“You’re fine, Lil’.”

“I’m gushing about my life while you’re… not so hot.”

Nope, Nadya won’t have it. “You’re gonna gush because you have every right to gush, okay? You’ve been a vampire for a whole year. That’s super important. You survived Turning, became the digital fanged crusader, and it’s ten times more cool because you did it all without a brand. Jax and Adrian can’t say that. Heck… even Kamilah can’t.

“So if you want a Turning party, you’re gonna get a Turning party. I’m not the only one who thinks you’re worth celebrating.” They lace their fingers and Nadya squeezes. “Plus if Jax shows up with the third set of cakes to a canceled party I think he might flip his lid.”

Lily gives a dramatic little sniffle — pretends to wipe a nonexistent tear from her eye. “Please tell me you just memorized all that.”

“Why?”

“Because it’ll be the speech to end all speeches.”

Together they play-shove all the way through the Raines Building atrium. Right before the revolving door Lily spins her around, takes both of their hands together and swings them gently.

“Do you want me to uninvite her? She probably doesn’t even care.”

“No — and even if we broke up, like, badly I wouldn’t want that. I’m just not that kind of person.”

“True, you’d probably invite them to Christmas dinner or something.”

She rolls her eyes at that and ignores it for her own sanity. “And for the record — as someone with experience in decoding Kamilah-isms, I think you surprised her. She admires strength, and Lily… you’re the strongest person I know.”

When they hug, like always, their glasses get jostled in the middle and the following laughter lightens both of their hearts. Lily makes her promise to add that last line to her speech (which inadvertently is a promise to write a speech, she’s guessing) and only when she’s out the doors and around the corner of the block does Nadya head back up to the office.

Adrian is leaning in his open doorway when she exits the elevator — Nadya slows her steps for a hesitant second before coming to realize he’s just having another one of his pensive moods. He’s been having them a lot lately. More and more since they returned from New Orleans.

This one looks different though. He’s not staring into space — he’s staring at her.

“What?” She finally yields, glancing at her boss over her shoulder while the computer boots up slow as a snail. “What’s that face for?”

Nadya nearly convinces herself he isn’t going to answer.

“It’s good to see you smiling, that’s all.” He leans out and squeezes her shoulder; something soft and friendly and so sweet her teeth ache from it. Before Adrian can pull away Nadya makes sure to return the gesture.

“It’s good to smile,” which is far more bleak than she would like, “you know something?”

Adrian pauses mid-step. “Hm?”

“It’s even better to mean it.”

#bloodbound #playchoices fanfiction #choices bb #kamilah x mc #kamilah sayeed #bloodbound mc #mc: nadya al jamil #nightbound mc #mc: taylor hunter #adrian raines #jax matsuo #lily spencer #fic: oblivion bound #oblv: bound by destiny ii #oblv: new chapter #; my fics

[thefieryeclipse]

Another Merry Christmas from me, Peter and Sylar! Sadly, I don’t think I’ll have time this year to write a new Christmas oneshot, so here’s one of my previous ones to try and spread a lil’ Heroes Christmas spirit here on Tumblr ^.^

(Shameless fluff and sickeningly sweet Petlary goodness within!)

Here’s the Ao3 link if you’d rather read it there.

Then Sylar looked at him with only softness to his gaze. And for a second fear, doubt and uncertainty swaddled Peter so tightly he couldn't breathe.

While the other man memorised his face he wanted to run away, and when those eyes fell on his lips a shiver rolled down his spine like a single drop of ice. Suddenly, he remembered the past. He remembered lost loved ones. He remembered too many feelings at once, some old, some new and some still to be found, and all these emotions were far too overwhelming while he sat here in purgatory with the man who had murdered his brother.

What the hell was he letting himself be caught up in...?

The Tree

They willed it to magically happen overnight, but it didn't. They even hunted down all the individual pieces and left them out in hopes they'd somehow put themselves together. They didn't. So eventually, Peter and Sylar took it upon themselves to break the perpetual nothingness of purgatory. Even if that meant settling for far less than perfection.

“I think it'll be better than the real thing anyway.”

Peter Petrelli shifted on the cold ground, resting an arm over his knees while trying to get comfortable. The mound of spare jackets beneath him did nothing to help against the chill in the slightest, but he didn't want to be the one to admit that. God it was freezing. Definitely cold enough for snow, if only Matt Parkman would grant this realm such a luxury as change.

“Of course you do.”

The droll huff to his right somehow didn't irk Peter. The sound was rough but harmless, quiet over the clunking whir of the old generator set up nearby. Sylar sniffed and shuffled an inch closer to the small, electric heater they had salvaged, although the thing was barely more than a weak glow breaking the surrounding darkness of the park.

Peter watched the other man with amusement: the soft touch of light on his face and the faint clouding of his breath only highlighting the nerves that he was trying to hide behind bravado. Peter let him think he got away with it.

“At least it'll be something though, right?” He chuckled, once more excitedly looking up the height of the tangle of wires before him. He held onto his hat as he did so, even though he knew it looked ridiculous. The time had long past when self-preservation was more important than warmth, and very quickly the red and white Santa hats Sylar had brought along as a joke hadn't seemed so stupid after all. At least to Peter, anyway. Sylar was of course under a different impression.

“Just don't get all gushy on me when the timer goes off. I don't think I could handle you breaking into song or something.” Sylar jabbed a look at Peter, who caught it briefly with only a crinkle of his eyes.

The anxious duo fell silent again, watchful, waiting. Peter could sense the taller man shivering, even through the space between them. He could practically feel a draught from the watchmaker's fingers, even though his own weren't close enough to touch. Almost, though. The grass tickled through the pair's gloves like papery icicles but neither guy moved his hand while the other's was so close.

“Y'know something...” Sylar sighed quietly, and at once Peter felt the prickle of doubt creep over him. He shook the fluffy bobble of his hat out his face, irrationally worried that Sylar had gotten bored of humouring his silly plan and would leave, and that Peter would be left alone in the park at night to see all this hard work fail. Then Sylar's fingers twitched in the grass, and a timid smile caught the light of the heater. “This might actually not be one of your worst ideas.”

Tension left Peter's frame along with the other guy's confession. He laughed then, an echo in the midst of an otherwise empty world.

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” He teased, chasing the grin that was trying not to emerge on Sylar's face.

It was a nice feeling to have earned the right to boast for once, but now that he had such a sought-after chance it wasn't what Peter wanted to do. Instead, his blood was pounding much faster than it had any right to in this cold. And he finally worked up the nerve to be the brave one, and touched his hand to Sylar's.

“I wouldn't go that far.” Smirking, the recovering killer avoided his eyes, but his fingers continued to link tentatively with Peter's. It was still so careful between them, this newfound intimacy, so bizarre a thing to let happen. Bizarre but unexpectedly wonderful.

Peter just scoffed in reply and shook his head at himself, at Sylar, and at how strange it was that they were honestly sitting here alone in the park with just a shitty heater, Santa hats and each other. Really though, he didn't mind too much.

Then Sylar looked at him with only softness to his gaze. And for a second fear, doubt and uncertainty swaddled Peter so tightly he couldn't breathe. While the other man memorised his face he wanted to run away, and when those eyes fell on his lips a shiver rolled down his spine like a single drop of ice. Suddenly, he remembered the past. He remembered lost loved ones. He remembered too many feelings at once, some old, some new and some still to be found, and all these emotions were far too overwhelming while he sat here in purgatory with the man who had murdered his brother.

What the hell was he letting himself be caught up in...?

But then the pressure was eased when, thankfully, magically, as if he knew what Peter was thinking, Sylar turned the motion into a more reasonable excuse to hold hands, and lifted Peter's into both of his own. Breaking their eye contact, Sylar rubbed Peter's glove briskly. “You're freezing...” It was a pointless observation, as pointless as attempting to warm up an ice cube in two other ice cubes, but everything about it only increased the whirlwind that was dancing through Peter's ribcage.

He melted, due in no part to Sylar's valiant efforts. More and more, Peter was revelling in his new hobby of uncovering these smallest aspects of this man's personality. Sylar was certainly a lot of things, and forced proximity had brought them all to light... but one thing he was not was evil. Peter was sure of it now.

Not that long ago, he would never in a million years have imagined the fearsome killer had a caring bone in his body. But not that long ago, he would never have imagined he would be camping out in Central Park with his brother's murderer either, but somehow here they were.

Maybe this was what today had been all about? Sure, their finished project would hopefully be worth the effort involved, but what if this, here, had been the reward all along? Sylar had been out here all day working with Peter. He hadn't needed to. He hadn't complained about it – too much, anyway. He had helped and he had hoped, secretly or otherwise, and now he was freezing his ass off and still trying to keep Peter happy? It was a feeling like no other the empath had ever known.

He wasn't even sure what he was going to say right then. Just that he was going to say something. But as soon as he opened his mouth, he was gently interrupted by a series of pings ricocheting from above, each one tapping more pure joy into his heart than the last.

Sylar's hands fell still around Peter's as both men stared up in awe, holding their breath as precisely five hundred and fifty hand-placed lightbulbs flickered to life in the branches of the tree before them. The generator clunked and complained but it held steady, feeding power into multi-coloured lights that clicked on one by one on perfect cue, like windows illuminating a mighty skyscraper. And then finally, after hours of planning and crafting and slaving away, Peter and Sylar sat under the fuzzy glow of their shared achievement, lost for words.

It had been worth it.

It had absolutely been worth the adventure involved in building this haven – this tiny speck of cheer and hope that rebelled from the rest of the mundane. It was the one spot in the entire city where perpetual nothingness ceased, and such a thing as potential could shine through the darkness.

It wasn't perfect though, by any means, however Peter was so glad they had decorated the tree blindly in order to preserve the grand unveiling. The thing was shabby and messily done, draped asymmetrically and neglected in parts: it was pathetic and ugly compared to the vision they had first set out to complete, but that didn't matter at all. It was still the most beautiful thing either man had laid eyes on in years.

They turned back to each other, heated to the core, more from their shared endeavor than from the jackets and measly electric heater. Peter couldn't help but grin wider than he thought possible, a phenomenon that appeared to have claimed Sylar as well.

The vastness of night clung to the two lost souls like frost, only it wasn't uncomfortable anymore. That smile, the tender hold on his glove and the glow from the string lights seeped comfort through Peter like honey, pacifying the snowstorm inside as if the sun had broken through clouds. He didn't care that it was sappy and ridiculous and would earn him a lot of teasing if he were silly enough to say so aloud – but he knew it was the lights that had done it. Or the tree. Or something that was wrapped up inside the existence of the thing, collected and presented in the best gift he could ever have hoped to receive.

He couldn't help that he suddenly felt choked up to be able to bask in tones of red and blue and green and gold when the rest of his world was in greyscale. Or that he was immensely grateful to be able to share it with someone. He could, however, do something about the pink state of his companion's ears.

There was only a moment of hesitation before he pulled his hand free, scooped up Sylar's abandoned Santa hat and plopped it down upon the man's head with the bobble stuck up straight in the air. Peter chuckled, adjusting the angle while deliberately ignoring the furious look he knew was being directed his way. “I'm not gonna break into song or anything.” He defended himself, unable not to smile when he leaned back to admire his handiwork. “Just making sure you don't fr-”

He was cut off when something soft and clumsy brushed his lips. Sweetly. Suddenly. Surreally. And then Sylar was pulling away, blinking those rich, dark eyes at him.

“...eeze.” The rest of Peter's sentence left him only as a surprised cloud of breath.

Somehow the guy tasted like snow, although the sky was clear and empty as ever. Somehow his lips were warm although he was still shivering. And somehow, for this brief moment, Peter didn't care that he should have been repulsed at himself for doing what he had, and wasn't.

Sylar's kiss prickled on his skin as the cold air pressed upon it, imprinting the touch into his person forever. It felt like a flashing red tattoo that could surely even be seen from space (if space even existed in Matt's nightmare), and Peter was sure he turned bright scarlet to match it while his heart squeezed in his chest. The gesture affected him just as much as their very first kiss had. Maybe they always would? Maybe he had gone so long without such sweet touches that he didn't remember how to handle one when he got it? Or maybe it just had something to do with this intense, raven-haired man being the engineer behind them all...

Suddenly Peter forgot all about the lights he had painstakingly waited on for hours. Because Sylar was still watching him. “I didn't know you cared.” The watchmaker purred, taking it upon himself to fix his hat over his ears while Peter stared at the curve possessing the mouth that had just encased his.

Sylar's eyes roved over every inch of the empath's face, then a scratchy glove sought out and ghosted across his crimson cheek. Probably his pulse could be felt racing through the touch but Peter didn't care, for he sure as hell could feel Sylar's in return. He tried so hard not to blush further under such warm scrutiny, but of course he failed. He would have failed even if there weren't beautiful holiday lights etching sincerity into every feature of the only other person in the world.

Face burning, that blizzard of feelings inside flocking to life once again, Peter couldn't have not smiled if his life depended on it. “Don't you go getting all gushy on me.” He said hoarsely, making as if to pull free before he could erupt into giggles or something equally as embarrassing, but Sylar wouldn't let him.

Deep chuckles rumbled out of the man's chest, the bobble of his Santa hat drooped down adorably and his thumb traced lightly over Peter's chin, now that he'd braved it so far. Then a glint of malice tore across the angles of his face. But Peter wasn't afraid, or appalled, not even when the murderer broke into quiet song, as innocently as innocent could be. The fucker.

“It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...”

Both men burst out laughing, two sparks of festivity that transcended this tree and carried into the furthest corners of the city where even the lights couldn't reach. They shouldn't be so merry while in hell. Peter shouldn't have felt such happiness to be sat here being serenaded by Nathan's killer. But despite all odds, and even just for one night, they were. And he was.

Shivering on the ground, bathed entirely in soft colours and questionable singing and every inch of Sylar's full, undivided, attention, Peter took back what he'd thought earlier. There was definitely still an evil streak in this man, after all.

#fanfiction #writeblr #petlar #primatech #nbcheroes #heroesnet #fanfic #writer #fan art #fanart #peter petrelli #sylar #milo ventimiglia #zachary quinto #christmas #holiday cheer #xmas spirit

[halloweennut]

Wonder (Part 2)

part two kids! featuring my other oc as well

Wonder gets an update. 

Even without the threat of becoming an app, and with the generally increased freedom of being in McDuck Labs, Wonder still felt closed off. There was nothing she wanted more than to go and actually experience what she saw videos and pictures of, and her questions and curiosity only increased as the days and weeks went by. She had learned and had grown more, but there were so many variables that couldn’t be accounted for, how much she still hadn’t been able to experience for herself. Having her questions answered was nice, but there’s only so much she could ask.  

“Dr. Gearloose?” Wonder asked quietly, not wanting to disturb him too much from his concentration, but it looked like he had spaced off in the middle of a schematic. She considered following up with asking him when he last slept, but he responded.

“Yes, Wonder? I’m a little busy right now,” he replied, tapping his pencil on the blue paper. Truthfully, he could use a distraction from the block he had.

“Oh, nevermind then. I can ask later,” she said, pulling up the queue of ocean videos she had. “Just another silly question, I guess.”

“Your questions are only occasionally silly,” Gyro turned to face her, tossing the pencil into a cup. “What do you want to know today?”

Wonder took down the queue, focusing her camera on Gyro. It was the only way she could establish eye contact. Well, not really. She activated her rudimentary hologram program. Wonder hadn’t used it since she was back at Waddle and desperate to move around. The avatar she had crafted herself was a greenfinch, but the light source made it blue and a little pixelated. She had told Gyro about the capabilities she had been programmed with, as well as ones she adopted from other Waddle programs and what she had developed herself, including the hologram application. But after weeks of only dealing with her as a computer, Gyro still looked a little taken aback to see her like that and almost physically there as the hologram settled in 3D space, sitting on a chair - not really sitting but projecting that they were.

“How would I...How would you - Do you know how to make a full, life-size body?” Wonder stuttered out. “It’s not that I’m ungrateful for the computing system and everything you’ve gone out of your way to do for me, but-”

“It’s starting to get small again, isn’t it?” Gyro interjected. The hologram nodded. “And you want to be able to actually learn things first hand so you don’t have to keep asking questions.”

The hologram nodded again. “I know it’s a selfish thing to ask. You have all your other projects for your job, only so much grant money, and I could always just get a RAM and processor upgrade instead - that might help.”

“You’ve been here for weeks now, and you underestimate me? I thought you knew better,” Gyro replied with a shrug. “We’ll start schematics for it soon. It’ll be a technological marvel, honestly, and if it works, who knows the other possibilities we’ll have with the tech that gets developed.”

“With what tech?” The hologram tilted its head. Gyro stared at her like it was the most obvious question in the world.

“That’s a silly question,” Gyro said, pulling out a blank sheet of blue panning paper from a drawer. “Your next upgrade, Wonder, obviously. A whole body with the specifications of your current computing system, but we’ll probably expand that too.”

“Really? You’ll do it?” Wonder exclaimed, the hologram leaping from the chair. “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!”

The hologram lunged forward, arms outstretched to wrap around Gyro’s legs, but phased halfway through before pulling back sheepishly. The thank you hug would have to wait until she was corporeal.

---

It had taken months of research, tests, midnights and cups of coffee, but Wonder’s body was finished. Based completely off her hologram and real-life proportions and other biometrics on greenfinches in her age group, if Gyro and Fenton hadn’t compiled her hardware and made her feathers themselves, they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the android and a person. Well, the lack of breathing was a good sign, but it wasn’t on and Wonder hadn’t been uploaded to it. Everything had been taken into account to make her look as lifelike as possible, but now the only thing left was to start everything up.

“Okay, the last diagnostic has cleared, we’re all set you two,” Fenton said, looking over at Gyro and Wonder’s screen from his tablet. Gyro had just finished attaching the cables and wires between the body and computer and quickly made sure they were secure, as well as the old shirt they had put on the new body until they could get her proper clothing.

“Ready, Wonder?” Gyro asked. The response was a quickly chirped yes, and he nodded. “Initiate download and system start-up.”

“See you soon,” Fenton said and started the program to get the body running as Wonder’s screen went dim, her files leaving down and out through the cords. A few minutes later, there was a ping, and Wonder’s eyes fluttered open. She blinked a few times, calibrating her nervous system and senses, and then let her eyes focus on the lab, then on Gyro and Fenton, who stood apprehensively over her head.

“Hello,” she whispered, vocal cords not yet fully warmed up. Gyro grinned triumphantly that so far everything was working, masking relief that Fenton fully wore on his face. After she felt more confident in her limbs Wonder slowly sat up on the table. Gyro and Fenton quickly moved to support her, unsure of how stable she was just yet.

“Careful, Wonder,” Gyro warned. “Don’t move unless you’re completely sure. You took a while to make, so let’s not injure ourselves.”

Wonder nodded, and carefully swung her legs off the table, using the two as support as she dropped down to the cold floor of the lab. Her eyes went wide at the sensation - her first feeling of cold!

“The floor’s cold,” she said, excitement in her voice. Fenton laughed.

“Well, her nervous system is functioning,” he said. “Sorry the first thing you felt wasn’t the best.”

“She’ll have plenty of first things, Fenton,” Gyro said. Wonder held his forearm, taking a moment note the feeling of feathers, before trying her first step. She paused at the tug of cords at her neck, which Fenton quickly took care of. Once she was untethered, Wonder continued, latching onto Gyro’s arm as she slowly moved a few feet, stumbling once or twice before she felt confident enough to let go and walk on her own. Fenton excitedly tapped Gyro’s arm as they watched, grin wide as Gyro looked on in approval, monitoring her limb adaptation. Wonder turned to face them with a wide smile - a little goofy and ever so slightly lopsided - and ran to them, tripping at the new mode of movement as she launched into them in a hug.

“Oof!” was a conjoined sound of surprise as she either ran into stomach or knees, hands reaching to support and pat her back in return. Gyro let himself smile a little, knowing how long she’d wanted to do this.

“Well, how do you like it? Everything working well?” Gyro asked, kneeling down to check her ocular reflexes with a small light. She nodded - her pupils dilated normally, good - but shivered.

“Everything is great, still getting used to the cold though,” Wonder replied, wrapping her arms around her middle, but enjoying the feeling of old cotton and her very own feathers under her fingertips. “But it’s wonderful to feel real things!”  

“It is a little chilly down here, isn’t it?” Fenton responded. “Let’s look into getting you a coat until you’re used to things.”

“And probably real clothes too,” Gyro said, looking around. He saw Manny enter the room, luckily. “Manny, give me your lab coat.”

Manny looked over - he had been aware of everything happening that day, and had been put in charge of other lab duties - and tapped out a reply of ‘why?’ Gyro stared at him.

“Just give me your coat, Manny. It’s for Wonder,” Gyro explained. With a shrug, Manny took it off and draped it over her shoulders. She tucked her arms into the sleeves and found it comically huge on her. The sleeve dangled below her hands and the coat dragged behind her by at least a foot. Gyro started to roll up the sleeves to the wrist. “Well, it’ll do for now.”

“I know we want to hold off on introducing her to everyone,” Fenton said, “but maybe we should get Penelope involved.”

“Why? We’re perfectly capable of taking care of Wonder,” Gyro replied, looking at him incredulously. Wonder had meandered over to Manny to properly thank him for the coat and to shake his hoof. “I don’t see why we have to involve that know-it-all.”

“I mean obviously we’re capable, but Penelope knows clothing better than we do,” he explained. “Also, we’d look a little creepy shopping in a misses section of a store with no one with us.”

“That’s actually a good point,” Gyro conceded with a sigh. “You go get her, explain everything, and I’ll finish up the tests on Wonder to make sure everything is going well.”

Fenton nodded, and with a quick wave to Wonder, headed upstairs.

---

“So, you’re telling me that you and Gyro essentially adopted an AI, gave it a body, and now you want me to buy them clothing?” Penelope asked during the elevator ride down. Fenton nodded.

“Well, we haven’t adopted her exactly, if anything she’s almost like another intern that Gyro took on,” Fenton said. “But I know he definitely cares more than he lets on. Like with Lil Bulb. Also, I just helped with her, and while yes, I am concerned with her welfare, this isn’t exactly a joint thing. Besides, saying it like that makes it sound like Gyro and I are in a relationship, which we’re not.”

“Right,” the hen replied. “Well, I’m willing and able to buy them clothes. But on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m their aunt and/or godmother. No exceptions,” she stipulated. “None of my other friends have kids for me to spoil yet, and I have the need to be someone’s cool lesbian aunt.”

“Deal. You’ll have to clear it with Gyro, but I think he’ll be resistant,” Fenton agreed, running a hand through his hair. She shrugged.

“I’ll buy them clothing anyway, but even if he doesn’t agree I’m going to assume the role.”

The lift stopped and the doors opened to the lab. Wonder was fiddling with a puzzle cube while Gyro monitored her motor functions and visual processing. The two looked up at them - Gyro with defeated disdain and Wonder with curiosity. Penelope paused a second before walking forward. “Hello, Gyro.”

“Penelope,” he greeted, deadpan, placing his clipboard down as he turned to face her. “I assume Fenton told you everything?”

“You assume correctly,” she replied, stopping in front of Wonder, and crouched down so she was eye to eye with her, and extended out a hand. “Hello there. I’m Penelope.”

Wonder took her hand and gave it a gentle shake. “I’m Wonder. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Wonder,” Penelope smiled. “Now, Fenton asked me to go and get you a wardrobe so you’re not running around in some old lab coat. Any preferences?”

“Not that I can think of. But I love the color blue!” Wonder answered. Penelope nodded, stepping back to get a better look at her in terms of sizing and what color range of blue would match her feathers best.

“I can work with that,” the hen said, very self-assured before turning back to Gyro and Fenton. “I’ll be back in two hours. Also, Gyro, whether you like it or not, I’m her aunt now. I was going to have you agree to that, but now you don’t have a choice. Sorry. Ta-ta now.”

While Gyro sputtered in frustration at her assumption of kinship, Penelope patted Wonder on the head and made her way back up.

---

Two hours later, Penelope arrived back in the lab. While Gyro and Fenton expected maybe two bags at most, she arrived with at least several, most of them being from Toulouse’s boutique. Fenton’s eyes went wide at the bags as she set them on a worktable, looking very triumphant.

“How much did you-”

“Well, I said I would get her a wardrobe and I did,” Penelope said. “She’s covered until next season, then we’ll look into fall and winter clothing.”

“Isn’t this excessive?” Gyro asked, Wonder grabbing a bag and peering into the contents. There was a mix of different clothing articles, in different shades of blue and just as many fabrics. Penelope looked at him confused.

“That sounds impossible. Like I wasn’t going to get her a whole closet worth of things. Besides, I don’t trust your or Fenton’s fashion sense,” Penelope replied. “But if it makes you feel better, one of the bags is a full outfit for today, plus accessories and pyjamas.”

She plucked a bag from the pile and handed it to Wonder, who gasped in excitement, grabbing it with a thank you and running to the bathroom to change.

“I hate to say it, but thank you, Penelope,” Gyro said. “I know Wonder appreciates it.”

“Not a problem.” Penelope picked up a folder she had slipped into one of the bags. “I also arranged for a birth certificate and adoption papers to be made for her. The paperwork is all here. Please fill it out and have it on my desk no later than Friday. I’d rather have her in the system sooner than later so we can get a paper trail of her existence going, albeit falsified.”

Gyro flipped open the folder - there was a blank birth certificate and other state-related paperwork concerning Wonder and her life. He decided he didn’t want to know how Penelope got a hand on these or how she planned on falsifying the records to prove Wonder’s existence.

“I’m a good secretary,” she said, unprompted but as though she read his thoughts, but before he could answer she turned towards the bathroom. “Wonder? You ready?”

A second later, Wonder came out, shirt and lab coat folded in her arms. Instead, she was wearing a robin’s egg blue pleated skirt and a light blue short-sleeved button-up, a necklace with a little strawberry charm, and a pair of dark blue high-top sneakers. Penelope cooed, gently clapping her hands together.

“Aw, Wonder you look great, kiddo!” Fenton encouraged, taking the coat and shirt from her. She smiled, ducking her head shyly. “Someone get a camera, we need to document Wonder’s first day!”

Manny tapped out a quick response, grabbing his phone from the counter and motioning for the two of them to pose. Penelope pushed Gyro over. “Go on, you’re her guardian too. You should be in there.”

“I was heading over, Glider,” he snipped, forcefully adjusting his vest as he made his way to Wonder’s side, Lil Bulb following close behind, hopping up onto her shoulder. Wonder looked at Gyro and Fenton and smiled. Gyro, strangely gentle, smiled back, and in a fatherly way ruffled the feathers on her head, just as Manny snapped the picture.

---

Meeting Scrooge happened earlier than either of them planned, only a few hours after Penelope had met Wonder. They hadn’t expected him to come down to the labs anytime soon, but apparently, he had been curious as to why Gyro hadn’t interrupted any board meetings with a new invention recently. Of course, Wonder was the first thing he noticed when he came down to the lab to question them.

“Gyro, Fenton, why is there a child in your very dangerous labs? And where are her parents?” Scrooge asked, flatly, immediately going to one of the few obvious solutions. “Gyro, I thought we agreed on no necromancy.”

“She’s not a reanimated corpse,” Gyro quickly explained. “While I certainly could reanimate reconnected tissue, this isn’t the case.”

“Technically she is animated though! But not how you think?” Fenton added, nervous.

“Can you two stop with the riddles, please? What does that even mean?” Scrooge ordered. The two looked at each other and then back at Wonder. She walked over to him.

“I’m Wonder,” she introduced herself, extending a hand. “I’m an Artificial Intelligence program that Dr. Gearloose and Mr. Crackshell-Cabrera gave a physical form to. It’s very nice to meet you, Mr. McDuck.”

It was a blunt explanation, and it still left Scrooge confused. Blankly, he shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you as well. Can I have a word with those two privately for a moment?”

Wonder nodded, grabbing Manny with a plea to come play chess in another section of the lab with her, and Scrooge turned to the two in confusion and irritation.

“Further explanation, now. And spare me the science talk - layman’s terms. I’m not even sure what an “artificial intelligence program” is.”

The explanation of what artificial intelligence was, then the full, nothing withheld explanation about Wonder took twenty minutes. Gyro and Fenton pulled up their research and her tests results: 

“Wonder is essentially a 14-year-old finch in every way except she’s made of carbon steel and synthetic feathers.” 

“See? She’s just like a human person, but smarter.” 

“Mr. McDuck, imagine the biotechnical possibilities we have access to with the progress we made making her a body.”

“She’s so much safer here than at Waddle. Her program is far too advanced to be in that mess of a company.”

Pinching the bridge of his beak, Scrooge held up a hand to stop the two of them from continuing. Fenton’s worry was clear on his face, but Gyro was unreadable, save for a hard stare. “I get it, you two. Waddle doesn’t know she’s here?”

“No. We made sure of that and we monitor Waddle’s search attempts,” Gyro said. Waddle Tech had made a big to-do about the Wonder Assistant program going missing from their labs, with a full, large-scale search and questioning. But in the past month, it had died down since there had been no leads. Fenton had made sure that the company firewalls were at the highest level of protection to assure no probing attempts were made. Scrooge sighed.

“And where is Wonder going to live now? Do either of you have an idea about how to raise a child? She can’t stay here in the lab,” Scrooge asked. “And what about records with the state for her?”

“Penelope gave us paperwork to fill out. Birth certificate, adoption papers, everything,” Fenton replied, but then lowered his head, resting it on his hand. “Where is she going to stay? I don’t have any room in my house.”

“Obviously with me. I have the financial means and the spare room in my apartment,” Gyro said. Scrooge raised an eyebrow. “Besides, I’ve already filled out most of the adoption papers.  And while, yes, my experience with children is...limited... it's not rocket science, and Fenton is good with kids. He can help if I need it.”

“Which I am more than capable of doing!”

“Not to mention, I’m one of the few people who can take care of her machinery and knows how,” Gyro continued over Fenton. “It’s the only option that makes sense. She’d be safe in my care.”

“Gyro, it’s not that I don’t think you’re capable but -” Scrooge paused, looking at the hardset, determined gaze of Gyro and the half-pleading look on Fenton’s, and sighed. “Fine. But one of us who knows about Wonder will check in on her and you whenever we please. She’s a child, and needs to be treated and raised as such, understand?”

“Fair enough,” Gyro agreed with a nod.

“And Fenton, make sure he does that,” Scrooge said. Fenton nodded wholeheartedly. Scrooge smiled lightly. “Don’t let me down, you two. Now I think I should like a proper introduction to your ward.”

#ducktales oc #wonder #penelope glider #gyro gearloose #fenton crackshell-cabrera #scrooge mcduck #ducktales #ducktales ocs

[frogocado]

Hey there! Can I request something where the reader is an intern being run raged but is too nice to say anything but one of the boys (either shayne or Damien, your choice) notice. I’m not sure how it would end but hopefully happy! Thank you so much, and if that’s too much then just ignore this.💜

I wasn’t super sure what “run raged” meant but once again, I loved getting a request and being able to build something off of it. I’ve done two of these and they’ve been super fun! Please don’t be shy to send one in!

Here’s a short lil’ nugget filled with Shayne comfort fluff for y’all.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, we’re just too overwhelmed.” Matt sat forward at his desk, folding his hands over a stack of papers.

You kept your chin up, though you could feel yourself getting more worked up as Matt spoke. “I came here to do social media and programming and the only thing you guys have been having me do is assistant work and coffee runs.”

“And I understand that, but–”

“But you’re struggling and I just need to wait,” you finished for him, nodding once as you turned to leave the office. “I get it.”

You’d been working at Smosh for three weeks now and while you were thankful for the opportunity, it was becoming tiresome being the barista. This internship was supposed to be your foot in the door. You were set to graduate in May with a pretty impressive double major. An internship was required to graduate, and while Sonny and Joe had always signed your attendance sheet and gave great feedback about your timing and cheerfulness, there was nothing you couldn’t learn here that you couldn’t learn at the local supermarket. 

You kept your head up as you took quick strides across the office, pushing out the back door and collapsing against the wall of the back staircase, a hand over your mouth. You had been busting your back showing up to the office early, asking questions when you had the chance and even taking notes. The cast and crew were incredibly welcoming, but you were starting to wonder if you should talk to a professor about switching organizations so you could get a proper internship. You pulled out your notebook and gazed over all the entries you had recorded since starting to work there. You felt silly, so excited for a dream internship at a company you had admired for years. Of course you’d only be the coffee girl. How could you expect anything else in this industry?

Blinking back tears, you wiped your eyes as you heard the door downstairs open and familiar voices filled the echoing chamber. You heard an unmistakable laugh, clear and high, and scrambled to your feet. Then came the second man’s giggly chortle. You didn’t want anyone from the cast finding you crying in a back stairwell. Not only was it embarrassing, but it was completely unprofessional.

Your watch flashed with a notice from Joe about getting down on set to shadow Tanner during a Board AF shoot and you booked it back into the office right as Joven and Shayne reached the landing. Ducking into the nearest bathroom, you wiped your eyes with a wet paper towel and took a few deep breaths. You could do this. If you continued your professionalism and your tact, they’d have to give you a chance.

When you stepped out of the bathroom, Shayne was standing in the hallway, holding up your notebook. “I know you’re needed on set, but I just found this in the hallway and I recognized it. I thought you might want it for your studious note taking.” He offered a gentle smile, one that you would have returned easily if not for the confrontation and the conversation you just had with Matt.

“Must have misplaced it,” you mumbled. You looked down at your feet as you took your notebook back, pocketing it as you moved past him. “Thanks.”

Being on set was even more frustrating than usual. You could see the Twitter feed open on Joe’s tablet and there wasn’t real reason to shadow Tanner. The only thing he did was read the rules to make sure the crew was doing everything fairly and he would often forget that you were over his shoulder and would sit back, bumping into you. You couldn’t feel less important if you tried.

When they called it a wrap, you were the first out of the room, your hands shaking. You kept your head down as you walked to your small desk, laying your head down on the cool plastic. You closed your eyes, trying to take deep breaths.

“Hey.”

You sat up with a jump, not expecting anyone to follow you to your desk, least of all, Shayne. He held two cardboard cups in his hands and gave a small shrug, trying his best to balance the drinks. “Do you have a second for a meeting?”

“If you’re here to patronize me–” You started, anger rising in your throat.

“That’s not at all what I intended,” he cut you off, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I was trying to be funny.” He set the two cups down on your desk before pulling up a spare chair, scooting close. You didn’t answer, your guard still up. He sighed, pushing one of the cups forward. “You buy everyone coffee all the time and you looked really upset before and I figured it’d be nice if someone else did something for you, too.”

Shayne bumped his cup against yours, careful as to not spill it, and took a sip. “It’s not even poisoned, see?”

You cracked a small smile, taking the other cup. “Thank you,” you said softly, caught off by his friendliness and the fact that out of everyone to notice, it was him. The crew always had laser focus on the project at hand, so you weren’t surprised on set… but you were definitely disappointed.

You sat back in your chair and he mirrored you, his free hand reaching up to twirl a small bit of his hair between his fingers. “Listen, I know that it feels like nobody sees what you’re doing and nobody appreciates you, but that isn’t true at all.” He met your eyes and you felt stuck in your place, struck by his honesty and comfort. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

You considered it, looking down at the steam billowing up from the cup of coffee he brought you. It would be nice to talk about the meeting, considering you didn’t have any friends in the office. Did you really want to talk bad about producers that he worked for? Yes. Were you already planning on FaceTiming your best friend on your lunch break to tell them instead? Also, yes. “No,” you finally answered.

Shayne was thoughtful before his hand exited his hair and he leaned toward you, grinning. “Do you wanna go see who’s around to play a few rounds of Mario Kart instead?” He suggested.

“Please,” you smiled, grateful that he didn’t push the matter but still seemed to be incredibly determined to see you come back into your normal form again. Shayne stood up, almost proud that his plan had worked, and waited for you before the two of you took off toward the Squad office.

#smosh #smosh games #shayne topp #shayne topp imagine #smosh imagine #fic #mine #request #?? I guess that's a tag I'll do now #[Damien Haas voice] BABY BOY #shayne will need a new tag eventually ok thanks for reading all these tags #cya #Anonymous #100n

[ofazaleas-blog]

 ・ ˖  ✦ ⋄ . what’s good, i’m raquel and i like sleeping more than anything in the universe. meet my lil baby azalea (lea for short) and, yeah she’s really cute, kinda been through alot but look at her now! flourishing. you’re gonna come to realize i’m really extra lmaoo but promise you’ll love me. i already love you guys! plot with me or just message me any time. aLSO THIS IS VERY LONG SO THERE’S A TLDR right under the basics list lol sorry about that i have an uber amount of muse for lea ・ ˖  ✦ ⋄ .

tw; death mentions, drug overdose mention, depression mention 

・ ˖  ✦ ⋄ .❝ basics❞

full name: azalea lynn morgan (maiden name was harris )  date of birth/zodiac: june 25th, cancer personality traits: sentimental, emotional, insecure, sensitive, overbearing, loyal, imaginative,  moody, loving, optimistic, fickle, empathetic, inflexible, clingy

[tl;dr] azelea grew up daughter to a mayor and a proffessor in sacramento. was the popular girl. lost her brother in college, had a bit of a breakdown because of it. now her life is slowly getting back on track.  

・ ˖  ✦ ⋄ . ❝  past life❞

born in Orlando, flordia to dwight and opal harris. dwayne harris politician and dahlia was a professor at sacromento city college. they had a two year old son, malcolm before azalea was born.

so that pretty much means she grew up pretty well off

azalea went through school kind of as a teacher’s pet. other kids picked on her a little about it, but she didn’t let it get to her. she was a well-mannered young child and actually really loved learning and being at school. 

sUCH a daddy’s girl. would ask him for anything and she’d always would get it. 

early middle school, everyone wanted to be friends with the mayor’s kids. 

 lea still stayed focused in school, but was still pretty well liked. though, she spent a large part of her time just  time with malcolm. he was two yrs older than her, so he was a bit more established in the school and well liked. played baseball, track, and soccer. kind of was a superstar at it. really talented. 

naturally, lea looked up to him . the two were inseparable they’d spend a lot of time in his room playing video games. her brother had the biggest video game collection she’s ever seen. he taught her everything she knows about superheros and video games. basically, the two were attached at the hip.

it wasn’t until freshman year of highschool lea and malcolm sort of parted social groups. he hung out with the jocks way more and she hung out with popular/student government sort of crowd. (you know the kids who put together prom and are also voted prom queen? that’s azalea.)

she had her first boyfriend freshman year 

also met the love of her life freshman year (though she didn’t know it them)

lea was assigned a romeo and juliet class project with elliot morgan the two of them had obvious chemistry, but she was in a relationship and pretty much never thought elliot would’ve been interested in her.  she still saw him around bc their parents work together

the following year azalea was no longer with that boyfriend, and was on the drill team (which is kinda like cheer? but they just do dances. here.)

cute alert! she gets asked to the spring ball by none other than elliot! came as a bit of a surprise  but she literally couldn’t have been happier that he’s who she’d go with, this would turn into a three year relationship and the two of them becoming top couple at the school.

her life is pretty perfect. 

until her and elliot break up! she is super inflexible and hates change, so the idea of elliot going away to college upset her. they’d planned to go to school together and the change of plans was enough for her to say alot of stuff she shouldn’t have.

she moves on, never willing to see elliot again despite her brother’s efforts. dated other people in college but was never truly happy after elliot. 

about to get super sad bare w/ me

so her brother was dealing with alot  once he got to college but he never told anyone.  he went to a local school, and really got caught up in the worse parts of being a college athlete. malcolm was always the happy go lucky guy in the family, he didn’t want to worry his family. he took Xanax at a party he very well shouldn’t have been at and ever since that day, he hadn’t stopped. it got to a point where he’d forgotten how many pills he’d taken-- so he just took more.

Malcolm died of an overdose at age twenty-three during his first year of grad school. 

lea had just turned twenty-one. this completely turned lea’s world upside down. loosing her brother was the worse thing imaginable. there were weeks of sleepless nights and waking up in tears. she’d lost her best friend. and she kept looking for why he never told her. they were so close, and she had no idea that was what he was dealing with. she’s still haunted by this thought-- if only she’d known she could’ve helped him.

she sees elliot for the first time in years at  malcolm’s funeral. it was like her brother was reminding her once more just how foolish it was to push away her first love. malcolm always wanted the two of them together again.

and from that moment on... they were.

lea and malcolm get married on november 4th and move out of Sacramento and to riverside on just a few weeks later. everything about that town made her think of her brother. she just wanted a fresh start. (video games, certain smells, superhero movies-- remind her of malcolm.)

has her first son in riverside hospital. wyatt malcolm morgan. and her life is only looking brighter. 

・ ˖  ✦ ⋄ .  ❝  current life & headcannons  ❞

very very married atm. hopelessly, and happily in love. she’s the type of hopelessly in love to where she’ll mention elliot in every conversation possible, have scheduled daily calls with him just to talk about how her day is going

“yeah, lea so then i went to this grocery store..” “did you go to the one of 4th ave, el loves that one.. ugh, i love him so much.” 

she’s SUCH a teacher. decorates her classroom excessively.  like looks like this during the fall and equally as extra during christmas. ya’ girl loves decorations and keeping things organized and perfect.

the type of teacher you remember from your childhood. super sweet and excitable. hugs each kid as they walk in the door every morning and once they leave, always brings candy and snacks, makes a big deal when it’s someone’s birthday can get silly and dresses up for halloween and just-- like a great time? her kids listen to her because they love her so much.

picture miss frizzal from magic school bus lol

loves her son soooooo much so much. feel like he looks something like this

really wants all the local moms to like her?? she’s THAT mom that’s not totally apart of the group bc she’s only lived in riverside for a few years

has always been that mom friend who brings an organized purse of anything you might ever need. from lip balm to bandaids to stickers. 

・ ˖  ✦ ⋄ .❝  extras ❞  

outfits.    tattoo in honor of her brother.   house bc why not?    wedding aesthetic

favorite food: mac and cheese. 

favorite color: pink!

favorite ice cream flavor: strawberry

[existentialkendall-blog]

Nostalgia Is a Drug 

Pairing: Kickthestickz Wordcount: 1.4k Rating: G. A lil bit of angst.

Summary: The Fictional Aftermath of ‘’Type number 1 into the chat if you want me and PJ to have some kind of sexy collab’’

A/N: Feedback is hugely appreciated. I know whether or not to write another fic, or whether I have typo-ed. THANKS and enjoy :) 

Crabstickz. Internet sensation, comedic genius, King of impressions. Chris Kendall drops off the grid again after promising a spectacular return.

Several phrases stand out in the online article.

Unreliable creator, disappointed fans, dying fandom, fantastic foursome. Chris closes the laptop and falls back onto the bed, staring up at the sloped attic ceiling. His phone vibrates in his front pocket and he pulls it out reluctantly, blinking for several seconds at the black and white screen before the message registers.

Stay over Friday

Chris ignores his initial response which involves sexual innuendo and the word ‘coming’. He mentally checks his schedule for this weekend. What a surprise, nothing planned.

You were serious about the collab?

PJ replies almost instantly.

Dead serious. Deadly like a venom snake Or not, we could just hang if you want, watch a couple movies

They haven’t ‘just hung out’ in forever. Even during filming Oscar’s Hotel they’d been under tight time restrictions and always surrounded by other people, never ‘just them’.

I’m not watching the good, bad and ugly again

It’s a CLASSIC

Westerns are not classics. They make my act-y senses tingle in a bad way

You loved it!

He loved the company. 2011 in PJ’s Uni room, buried under the duvet with his monstrous weighty book of film on their laps. PJ picking out the film immediately, eyes wide, convincing Chris that it’s not an average western film, it’s full of awesome one liners and cool characters. Chris giving in because the smile PJ gave him, curved wide and full of light, was worth suffering through a 3 hour film to see. When PJ quoted lines along with the actors Chris saw how much it meant to him. It was his 'The Matrix’.

You’d have it played at your funeral if you could

You’re so morbid

It’d be after the drawing planets masterclass and before cardboard for beginners

I’ll get it written into my will So, Friday?

Of course

One conversation has him smiling into his laptop, window open for train times from Harrogate to Brighton. He books the ticket and feels the first twist of anxiety in his gut.

Friday arrives slower then he thought it would. Anticipation and nerves had swallowed every waking moment. Despite looking forward to it, the implications of seeing PJ confused him. They haven’t collaborated officially for 2 years. They haven’t talked properly for 3.

The train pulls into the station late in the afternoon. His six hour journey seemed more like ten. Unlike all other times, PJ is waiting outside leaning against the metal railings, orange rimmed sunglasses on.

Chris can’t help but grin at his old friend.

Midnight. Every important conversation they have is at midnight, and then it turns into impressions and laughter and dreams about the future. Chris pushes his boot into the heap of pebbles that cover all beaches in Brighton and stares at the moon.

“It’s not where I thought I’d be by now,” the alcohol burns his throat going down and he hands the bottle of vodka to PJ. He takes it reluctantly, finger brushing Chris’ hand accidentally as he does.

“I know that. I think the whole internet knows that.”

“Yeah,” Chris laughs humourlessly, “Because the only videos I make now involve me complaining.”

PJ falls silent. He looks out at the endless undulating waves, thinks of the different frames and shots he could get with this view. He wishes he could find the right thing to say as easily.

“This isn’t what you had in mind when you invited me down is it,” Chris asks, rhetorical.

He answers anyway, “I wanted to see if you were okay-” Chris is laughing again before he finishes his sentence. He hates that question, that sentence. Are you okay? I want you to be okay. For once, if he answered 'I’m not okay’ would the world implode or would it shut the voices up for good?

“Fucks sake. Fine. I wanted to see you Chris. Spend time with you,” After meeting at the station PJ had taken him to a pizza place for dinner. They’d made small talk about movies and upcoming projects. For PJ there was stress and work on the horizon. For Chris there was unemployment and fake bravado.

From there they’d entered a corner shop and picked out a bottle, Chris explaining it with 'to talk’. Liquid courage: liquid honesty. PJ had led the way to a section of the beach that was out of the view of the brightly coloured tourist beach huts, and more towards the wind breakers.

“How sweet,” Chris mutters, digging one hand into the small stones and raising it in a handful, before dropping them to their original place.

“Yeah well,” PJ takes a long gulp and they sit in silence. He didn’t have any premonitions of what this weekend would be. Even though they’ve moved forward with different jobs and experiences, his mind still drifts to the simplicity of their earlier relationship.

“Maybe I wanted to be Jim Carrey so much that I became him.”

“You don’t have depression.”

All comedians have depression. Chris had told him that one after their 8 hour flight from L.A to London. Wrapped in a thick curtain of lethargy and jet lag, PJ had asked him to explain his theory. Using muted gestures and a range of slurred words, he’d said that comedians become comedians because they’re depressed, and they want to make people laugh so other people don’t feel as miserable as they do. Examples included Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Stephen Fry. 'Does Stephen Fry count as a comedian?’ 'Blackadder’ 'Shit yeah’

“What you have are friends that you can talk to about this stuff.”

Chris sounds pained when he says “You know I can’t do that Peej.”

“You’re doing pretty well so far,” Even if the whole internet is concerned that he’s suicidal. Even if PJ has seen the worried tweets and the demands for an explanation.

“Does Sophie know I’m here?” Chris asks, hesitantly. Because since they met at the station he hasn’t seen her at all. Or anyone, actually.

PJ stops himself from sighing. For all the times they’ve danced around the topic, they’ve never been direct with it. But tonight seems different, like along with the alcohol, his misery might force the words out of him.

“Chris…”

“No wait. I’m not a threat, right?” Chris bites the bottom of his lip, tasting alcohol, and leaving a groove in place. He hates feeling insecure, and in front of PJ it’s somehow worse. He knows his tells, his lies, his stupid coping mechanisms. He can see right through him.

“She knows you’re here. Don’t bring her into this.”

“This,” Chris laughs bitterly, “I miss it,” He lets the nostalgic misery and wonderment that he felt since they walked to the beach enter his voice. He misses having someone there to put up with his bullshit, who saw through his act and still stuck around. He misses PJ and what they both had before it faded away.

“I know.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Now he isn’t talking about YouTube or his stunted career, he’s talking about them. He doesn’t think he’ll ever move on. What they had wasn’t concrete, they weren’t an exclusive item. Perhaps to PJ they weren’t anything, just dumb kids messing around with a camera and their bodies. 

Trading kisses like they were nothing, and tweeting silly jokes like they weren’t personal. 

But when he breathes out a repeated, punctuated “I know,” He knows it wasn’t as black and white for PJ. But that’s what it is now.

“You don’t hate me?” For the stupid things I say, for not talking to you, for still making fun of us to my audience because I don’t know how else to process what we were.

“I could never hate you,” 'Not with everything that we used to have’ is how Chris hears it.

They go back to looking at the moon, the ethereal glow lighting their silhouettes.

Chris remembers their first kiss, over eight years ago. PJ had been so nervous, winding his fingers in the sleeve of his hoodie, restlessly messing with his hair. Chris thought of all the nameless men in countless gay bars in Leeds preparing him for this moment. Once they did it, they couldn’t go back because PJ wasn’t a nameless man, he was important. Chris had twined their hands together, stilling PJ’s fidgeting movements.

He’d initiated it, tilted his head to the left and closed his eyes.

When they finally kissed, PJ’s lips were soft.

He leaves the next day with a hangover and a script. While his future is uncertain those memories will always be there. Solid and real. Painful and incomplete.

#kickthestickz #fanfiction #crabstickz #kickthepj #chris kendall #pj liguori #mein #mywriting

[evenstevensranked]

#34: Season 3, Episode 7 - “Raiders of the Lost Sausage”

Louis accidentally discovers that there might very well be buried treasure under his house and he’s determined to retrieve it. An Indiana Jones parody ensues. Meanwhile, Ren and Larry are literally tied together by the school guidance counselor in an attempt to end their rivalry. It’s quality content.

The very first minute of this episode lets you know right away that you’ve hit good’ol zany as hell Season 3. It opens with an emu being delivered to the Stevens house. Yes, an emu. Louis ordered one on a whim one day. We get a flashback to when he ordered it, which is pretty great. He called the totally legit and not completely asinine sounding company “Emu For You” and started awkwardly dancing to the jazzy elevator hold music. 

Steve is the one who has to accept the emu delivery and is obviously furious. The bird immediately starts eating a family photo and I love how even in a professional, dressy portrait -- Louis is still wearing a Hawaiian shirt. 

I want a relationship with someone as strong as the bond between Louis Stevens and Hawaiian shirts. 

Louis is currently in the basement with Twitty and Tom, “bowling” with a frozen turkey and some soda bottles (the usual) -- when suddenly the frozen turkey goes flying through the wall, revealing a suspicious small tunnel. 

Steve confronts Louis about the emu and Louis pulls some lame excuse out of his butt for ordering it. He says they should start breeding emus. Steve is all “Breed emus.... With one bird...” pointing out that lil flaw in Louis’ idea. That’s pretty funny. There’s a bit here where Eileen finds a giant emu egg and interrupts their conversation through the basement window, and gets attacked by the bird. You don’t actually see it happening though, all you see are feathers flying everywhere. Steve goes to help her and he too gets attacked. I always cringe at this, tbh. It’s just one of those wacky Season 3 gags. Anyway... Louis, Twitty and Tom agree to meet up the next day and investigate the tunnel. 

Now, onto the subplot! We see Ren and Larry in Principal Wexler’s office, in trouble for accidentally pieing him in the face. They had the responsibility of choosing a new dessert for the cafeteria and couldn’t agree on one. They were goiiiing to pie each other, but Wexler walked between them that exact second. Of course. They’re still fervently arguing in front of Wexler so he decides that their rivalry has gone too far and they need to work it out with the school guidance counselor.

This photo makes me relate to the “....now kiss!” meme. 

Louis does some hardcore research on what that tunnel in the house might lead to and comes to an... interesting conclusion. He discovers that a man named Grover Frazee, creator of Frazee Sausages, owned the property their house is built on. He became super rich off of the company and Louis believes that he most likely buried his fortune at the end of the tunnel. Something interesting: take a look at the opening credits for the episode...

Written by SCOTT FRAZEE! Dude legit named this sausage guy character after himself, lol. I always thought that was cute. I’ve said many times before that the writers are always throwing personal things in. I love it. Check out Grover’s bio though... yikes. 

I’m not sure I’d be proud of that legacy. Also, he died at 43 years old... Pretty young. Maybe he ate a contaminated sausage and croaked. Also, all this talk of sausages feels like another innuendo. This show has no chill. 

Louis put so much effort into his analysis, though. He treated it like a freaking college research project. Again, if he put this much effort into actual school assignments, he’d give Ren a run for her scholastic money. Tom is pretty great here. He starts singing the “We bet, you’ll go crazy... for that great, taste of Frazeeeee” jingle. It’s fantastic. 

Ms. Shannon, the guidance counselor, decides to try an experimental exercise with Ren and Larry: Physically tying them together for 5 school days. As much as I looove this subplot, this always bothered me. Mainly because, how the heck does Ms. Shannon expect that to work? What if they have different classes, or need to be at different places at the same time, etc? We get a montage showing how they struggle with stuff like this throughout the day. The only issue is that the length of the leash dramatically changes depending on the scene. It’s so frustrating!  

They clearly kept changing the length just so certain ideas could work. It bothers me so much, lol. I’m also 100% positive that’s not even where Ren’s locker is. 

Louis, Twitty and Tom get to work shoveling out the tunnel. They bring in Beans to be their “dirt moving specialist” which is so annoying. He carries dirt in his pants from the basement to their laundry room like an idiot. They literally spend a minute showing him walking back and forth past Steve. It takes so long for Steve to catch on, it’s... ugh. 

Why is he standing on the top of the little mound like that? lol. He says he’s putting the dirt in the laundry room because “there’s a big, scary bird in the backyard!” 

Steve obviously goes down to the basement and catches them in the shoveling act. Twitty asks Louis what he’s going to do with his share of the money and Louis says “You know I’ve always wanted to travel. Help out the folks. Might even buy the old man a nice toupee, ahh?!” -- Unfortunately, Twitty is gone and replaced by Steve. We get a legendary Louis Scream. Can we talk about how Louis has always wanted to travel, though??? I suddenly want to see a happy Louis Stevens backpacking across the country later in life... oh wait. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Shia LaBeouf is Louis Stevens, y’all. The similarities never end. 

Steve is piiiissssed. Louis tries to explain that he’s done his research and there’s definitely... probably... buried treasure there. But, since Louis is always goofing off, Steve is convinced it’s another one of his crazy “half-baked schemes.” “NO! IT’S NOT HALF-BAKED! IT’S FULLY BAKED!!!” Louis insists. Steve basically temporarily grounds him. There’s a great bit with Donnie eating an emu egg that Eileen cooked for him. They’re delicious apparently, so she starts to see the bright side to having the bird around. “When life gives you lemons!” she says. And Donnie’s all “.......no, mom. They’re eggs.” What an underrated character. Steve walks in and starts complaining about Louis. Donnie pulls a 180 and tells him “You don’t have to believe in what Louis is doing. Just believe in Louis.” Dang, Donnie coming through with the proverbs. Steve takes this to heart and starts looking into Louis’ research. 

Louis is so smart when he wants to be. Steve appreciates this.

They make this scene into a trippy sequence with eerie tinkering piano in the background as Steve remembers Donnie’s reverberating words of wisdom. I’ve always really liked this. We think he’s hearing Donnie’s voice in his head, but it’s actually Donnie creeping from around the corner saying the sentence repeatedly. “I heard you the first time, finish your eggs!” Steve says. This is hilarious. Immediately after that, they make the hands on a clock spin out of control, making it seem like hours and hours are passing by while Steve looks into Louis’ research. But then Steve just walks up to it and says “...I gotta fix that clock.” I always thought this was so freaking funny but to this day my mom doesn’t understand the joke and it drives me craaaaaazy! Louis comes downstairs to apologize, and to his surprise... Steve is on his side now! They team up and start diggin’ for that treasure! While they’re digging we get two of the greatest lines in the entire series:

Steve: “Louis.... why aren’t you at school?”

Louis: “...Why aren’t you at work?” 

THIS IS SO PERFECT! I was going to point out that Louis, Twitty, Tom and Beans all should’ve been at school the whole time... but I was waiting until now to bring it up. TV shows always mess up timelines like that. This was such a hilarious way for the writers to acknowledge their mistake. So good. Mr. Scott Frazee and Co aren’t totally out of the woods, though. Louis and Steve are in the same clothes for basically the entire episode. But Larry and Ren’s subplot tells us that at least two days have gone by. Either Louis and Steve didn’t shower or change clothes for 2 days...... or they messed up. Oops. 

Back at school, Larry and Ren are tangled around a tree (again, the leash was like, a foot long when they were trying to get at their “lockers” -- but now it’s conveniently long enough for them to get tangled around a tree.) They’re stuck and talk about how this experiment has only made them resent each other more. 

But the longer they hate each other, the longer they’re tied together. So they both immediately get the idea to become fake fast friends so that Ms. Shannon will remove the leash. After frantically untangling themselves, they return to Ms. Shannon’s office and act all cuddly -- gushing over how well they get along after only two days! They say things in unison and Larry even calls Ren “silly soulmate.” Omg. Ms. Shannon agrees to untie them. 

They leave the office giggling and laughing at how they successfully tricked her, without realizing that the experiment worked, lol. They’re actually getting along and it’s beautiful ok...

I had to include this overabundance of screenshots because look how precious!! This episode always manages to remind me how SALTY I AM over the fact that they never got together. What a power couple they could’ve been. A giant missed opportunity for a big series finale plot twist, if you ask me. They slowly realize that they’re getting along and are freaked out. They start yelling the same exact sentences at each other.... in unison..... because they’re silly soulmates. That’s the end of the subplot. 

Back at the Stevens house, Louis and Steve have made it to the end of the tunnel. *dun dun dunnnn.* They reach a tiny door and use an extravagant key conveniently left under a little welcome mat before crawling inside the cave -- where a giant golden sausage is prominently displayed. 

This is another one of those moments where I notice how much Shia LaBeouf and Tom Virtue actually look like father and son. Also... as a critically thinking child, I always thought “how the hell does this cave even exist? It’s not like it’s under the basement. The layout literally makes it just another room next to the basement. So that entire cave, with a ridiculously tall ceiling, would need to fit under a section of their house. Improbable.” It sucks not being able to suspend reality sometimes. 

They approach the sausage and realize it might be booby-trapped. So they end up pulling an Indiana Jones. They even have Louis say, “I saw this in a movie once... You know what we need? A counterweight or something!” Slick. 

But also like the famous Indy scene, the cave starts to collapse. Steve says “.......is that an.... ominous rumble?” which I love. For whatever reason, Steve runs away but Louis stays still for a ridiculous amount of time. In fact, just long enough for the ground to break and leave a giant gap between them. Louis makes an (iconic) jump for it: 

Unfortunately, he drops the sausage once he reaches the other side and it falls down the gap into the great unknown. This makes me so incredibly frustrated every time, lol. But, they couldn’t exactly let the Stevens family become millionaires right? 

And that’s it!! The main plot of this episode was never one of my personal favorites, but it definitely gets a whole lot of iconic points. As I mentioned at the beginning, this is a zany Season 3 plot, which have always been a lil difficult for me to get into. But there’s no denying that Louis’ jump is hilarious and the whole idea for this episode, including the title, is golden (no pun intended.) Not to mention this is yet another episode that eerily predicted Shia LaBeouf’s future. We all know he went on to star in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Say what you will about that movie.. but... He was in it. Which marks another strange parallel between Louis and Shia tbh.

And of course, I absolutely adore the Ren/Larry subplot. It’s like, THE episode to convince you that a romance between the two of them should’ve happened. It’s just great honestly. 

Thanks for reading! Do you have any thoughts on this super memorable episode? Sound off below please! (Seriously, getting one little comment on here makes my day and reassures me that I’m not talking to myself lol) 

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#rank #even stevens #season 3 #ren x larry #louis stevens #indiana jones #shia labeouf #steve stevens #comedy #ren stevens #larry beale #disney channel #tv review #nostalgia #tv #television #tv shows #old disney

[thesinglesjukebox]

KANYE WEST & LIL PUMP FT. ADELE GIVENS - I LOVE IT [3.36] #canceled

Alfred Soto: Well, it's short and samples Adele Givens. [3]

Thomas Inskeep: I'm not actually offended by this, like I expected I might be; this feels like a return to old-school, 2000s Kanye, who wasn't afraid to be silly and ridiculous. And this is more ridiculous than offensive to my ears. What it's most reminiscent of is his 2007 "remix" of Rich Boy's "Throw Some D's," which West flips to talk about breast implants. Because of course the future husband of Kim K. would do that, right? The bassline on "I Love It" is phat (whether stolen or not), Lil Pump is fairly irrelevant, and Kanye's verse is stoopid. The smartest thing about "I Love It" -- besides clocking in at just over two minutes -- is the Adele Givens sample that opens and closes it. This is a throwaway, but it's preferable to ye, put it that way. [6]

Joshua Copperman: Contrary to popular belief, which speculates Kanye has lost touch with What People Want and also Reality, it turns out he's been in touch all along. It's just not with the adult world, but the always robust edgy middle school one. Hooking up with Lil Pump for a video inspired by Roblox, with lines like "I'm a sick fuck I like a quick fuck" primed for humorless Minecraft rewrites and 10-hour editions? That's not (only?) desperate, that's outright savvy. It's somewhat like Eminem's pivot to earnest pop-rap on Recovery, with the opposite approach toward the same demographic. This will probably be all the rage at summer camps next year. Only this pairing can make something so tasteless it wraps back around to harmless. Bonus point for the way Lil Pump attempts to fit the word "ignorant" into his flow, a flow that cannot hold more than two syllables. [6]

Anthony Easton: Who doesn't like having their dick sucked? I mean, that's not some shocking thing, is it anymore? Since when is cocksucking and dirty talk scandalous? Seriously. [4]

Cédric Le Merrer: Sorry, not my kind of stupid. [0]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Lil Pump is focused by Kanye's presence (and production job, which, even though it's just "Fade" again, is far better than anything Pump has ever rapped on) but what Kanye gets from this pairing (other than chart success) is less clear. Like most of his 2018 raps, Ye seems unconcerned with anything that resembles coherence-- and while the whole spoken interlude and repetition routine works better on a song that's inherently jokey, it's still largely a waste of time. At least Adele Givens gets a check off this. [5]

Taylor Alatorre: Using a data set consisting only of this song, you could write the sentence "Lil Pump is a better lyricist than Kanye" and be 100% accurate. "Like a lighter, bitch, we ignant" is the kind of studiously dumb shit that forms the lifeblood of Twitter virality, while "sick fuck / quick fuck" is the half-formed thought you type into a fast-moving Twitch chat and immediately regret after doing so. (It's the latter which has actually gone viral, of course, because we live in a society.) Another contrast: where Lil Pump is focused on making his crudeness as pleasant to the ear as possible, Kanye remains committed to the project of extrapolating his basest impulses onto all aspects of his music. This can still turn up gold sometimes - in this case the airtight production - but mostly it just sounds drained of any forward momentum, an artistic dead-end. If this is what the greatest rap genius of my generation wants to do with his talents, all hail our new SoundCloud overlords. [5]

Tobi Tella: Points for something resembling sex positivity, and that amazing Adele Givens sample. Points off for being one of the most inane things I've ever heard and another desperate move in Kanye's desperate spiral. Remember when we all still thought he was a genius? [2]

Maxwell Cavaseno: Truly a turn of events when you spend a majority of a rapper's verse asking to nobody in the room, in rhetorical despair "Hey, can y'all pull back that Lil Pump verse?". Unfortunately, such is the case of 2018 Kanye. [3]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: A half-hearted quickie. [3]

Nortey Dowuona: Lumpy, bouncy bass slides in under Adele Givens' admittedly funny joke about lazy male sex as limp, lazy drums push up Lil Pump's bored, "done in 20 minutes" raps. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE. NOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHGINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHTINGNOTHINGNOTHING NOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHING [0]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#kanye west #kanye #lil pump #adele givens #music #rap #hip-hop #music video #music writing #new music #music reviews

[blunder-x-blog]

The 25 Best Albums of 2017

the Staff

2017 has been a little bit of a whirlwind year. If we thought that 2016 could get somehow worse in any way, 2017 has topped it. But taking a break from possible nuclear world war III, losing the power of the internet, men being whiny babies because retribution is finally coming for the awful scumbags in Hollywood, and our president cheeto’s tiny, waving hands, music is our savior. Music is universal, music is wondrous, and these artists made that abundantly clear. From collaborations made in heaven to strumming guitars recorded on Iphones, 2017 is diverse, daunting, and yes, oh so good. Throughout the year these albums have stuck with me in one form or another. They’ve come with me to Australia, and to my first solo apartment. They’ve played as I worked my first internship job, and they’ve been the soundtrack to my final senior thesis project. They’ve been with me as I’ve lost love and found it, and they’re with me as I move into my final semester of college. Today I present to you my personal top 25 albums of 2017.

Honorable Mentions:

As a radio host, this list began in 2015 and I only had 3 hours to do the show, so I kick off the list of the albums that would have definitely made a top 50 list, but neither me nor anybody else has that kind of time.

Toro y Moi // Boo Boo

King Krule // Ooz

Lil Yachty // Teenage Emotions (Bring it back)

Gorillaz // Humanz

All of which were absolutely fantastic, but ultimately did not make the list (hey, I’m only human). So, without further ado, from bottom to top:

25. Lil B // Black Ken

So here’s the thing about Lil B. Yes, he is the #basedgod, and yes, I did listen to his hundreds of mixtapes in high school, but one of my favorite things about Brandon McCartney is his undeniable message of improvement. He went on tour in 2009 for a self help book he wrote, which still cracks me up to this day (#staybased). And after 2015’s unforgettable Hoop Life, he went on a bit of a hiatus, coming back with one of the most well-produced, succinct rap albums I’ve heard in a long time, let alone coming from Lil B himself. He takes us through a little bit of the story with “Still Run It” and “DJ Based God”, and yet this album is worlds away from his previous work of drunkenly freestyling over unmastered beats. Slick and jazzy with excellent drops and good flow, Black Ken is unforgettable, coming from one of the most unforgettable rappers out there.

24. Jay Som // Everybody Works

Every so often there is an indie rock album that you hear that you cannot forget any time soon. Alvvays 2014’s Alvvays is in a similar vein, and Everybody Works is the kind of album you can put on, jam out to with gin and orange juice and forget a little bit that everything kinda sucks. And yet, most of these songs are about things sucking, at least in a romantic sense. Many of the songs feature heartbreak (“One More Time Please” and “The Bus Song”). And yet there is also overcoming fear; to go on and perform in front of a crowd, to share your message and have it mean something (“(Bedhead)”). Jay Som is definitely someone to watch over the next few years.

23. Mount Eerie // A Crow Looked At Me

Music is emotional, and this album is the kind of album that reminds me of Joni Mitchell’s Blue, of the sickness and heartbreak and sadness that is human. A Crow Looked At Me was a response to the death of Phil Elverum’s wife, and this loss can literally be felt with every pluck of his guitar strings. From the opening line of the album, that “Death is real”, to the final track of the album, of a tender walk in the woods with his wife, seeing a crow flying over the trees. The crow was an omen, says Elverum, he just wasn’t sure of what it was, and A Crow Looked at Me takes us that place of uncertainty, yes, but ultimately it takes us with Elverum as he returns to the world. It takes us through his loss and into the void to emerge from the other side, human, and not quite sure what’s going to happen next.

22. Alvvays // Antisocialites

Okay yes, I’ve already mentioned Alvvays on this list literally two slots ago but it was because I flipped out so much when this band released this album that I’ve been waiting for for three years. When they first made headlines in 2014, it was from their lead single, an extremely sarcastic anthem of...matrimony. There is no “Marry Me, Archie” on this album, and yet each track is still just as poignantly indie-rock as their debut. “In Undertow”, the first single released on the album, was released about midway through the summer. This song is ultimately about a relationship ending, and just having pulled myself from a similar situation as the narrator, it’s chorus of “there’s no turning, no turning back after what’s been said” struck a chord, as one might say, with me. There is no turning back, but “You find a wave and try to hold on for as long as you can”, says lead singer Molly Rankin, and I can at least hold onto that wave, too.

21. Torres // Three Futures

I saw Mackenzie Scott go on tour for this album, and she showed up on stage wearing a blazer over a sports bra and 5 inch heels. It was pretty intimidating. Scott made my best album list back in 2015 with her incredible release Sprinter, and yet, Three Futures resonated somehow more with me. Perhaps it was the title track’s chorus, singing, “You didn't know I saw three futures / One alone, and one with you / And one with the love I knew I'd choose”. Yes, something may end, but we may emerge from that darkness again and end with something w both want. Also, the music video for “Skim”, the lead single, is something else, and definitely worth a watch.

20. Kesha // Rainbows

This album for me was an anthem. Kesha Sebert has been kind of an icon for middle-school me; “Tik Tok” dropped when I was twelve, and it dominated the music of middle-school dances. And if it wasn’t “Tik Tok”, it was one of the gajillion other top hits. And then I learned that her producer had been sexually harassing her and preventing her from having practically say on any of her artistic releases. And Kesha’s struggle somehow that year became all of our struggles. Kesha fought a long, uphill battle separating away from Kemosabe and Dr. Luke, and this record is a direct response to that. It’s even more fitting then that men are finally getting what’s coming to them. As Kesha sings in one of the singles, “Woman”, “I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, alright / I don't need a man to be holding me too tight”

19. James McAllister, Bryce Dessner, Nico Muhly, Sufjan Stevens // Planetarium

Okay, yes. This album is long, this album is kinda mostly experimental classical music. It’s a lot of beeps, it’s a lot of boops. But listen though; I still maintain that everything Sufjan Stevens touches is absolute gold; and also, this album is a classical music match made in heaven. I may be just making excuses, but when “Saturn” dropped back in June, I lost my shit. And again after “Mercury” dropped three weeks later. I may be one of the only few people who loved this album, but let me tell you, firstuvall, it’s an album about space, and seconduvall, the transitions from “Kuiper’s Belt” to “Black Hole” to “Saturn” is something remarkable. I know “Jupiter” is a little overblown, but like, let’s be real, “Mercury” makes up for it, following the nearly 15 minute long instrumental “Earth”, ending with Steven’s quiet voice over intimate guitar, singing, “All that I dream / Where do you run, where do you run to? / Now I am messed up”. Yeah, Suffy, I’m a little messed up too.

18. Slowdive // Slowdive

Okay, I didn’t think that I would get into shoegaze this year, but let me tell you, this release changed my mind. I’m sure that the infamous reputation of shoegaze concerts gets out there, but actually going to one and just kind of sitting there mesmerized in the green light, standing without moving as some guy is just staring at his feet as he mostly just changes the pedals on his guitar? I’ll admit that sounds silly, but ho boy is it pretty dope. And Slowdive kind of did the perfect thing you could do: have only a limited catalogue for fans, go on hiatus, keep all the people who actually mattered in the band, and then release a damn good album after ten years. “Star Roving” kinda changed my view on shoegaze; pedals guitars never sounded so good.

17. The National // Sleep Well, Beast

I think the National have yet to release something that isn’t brilliant in every way possible. I’m not intimately familiar with their catalogue, but on a cold evening when I’m working on studying and want to slam my head against the blackboard, the quiet guitars and the deep, soothing voice of Matt Berninger singing about how much more life can suck keeps me going. Like a bunch of other albums on this list it’s once again about heartbreak, this time a marriage falling apart. “Day I Die” has Berninger singing to you, “I don’t need you, I don’t need you”, but his hushed quiet whisper on the last track/title track of the album whispering, “I’ll tell you about it sometime” leading up to this almost weirdly crunchy guitar riff closes out the album leaving you with something of a sort of hope, at least. Which is mostly what the National does -- it’s pretty sad stuff, and yet, somehow, you keep coming back to its brilliance.

16. Sampha // Process

2017’s music scene came in two parts: part one was people we all love releasing really good shit, and then the second part was people I’ve never heard of releasing really good music from absolutely nowhere. Sampha was part two. He had done a bunch of stuff (in re, collaborate with Kanye West) but I had never heard of this guy. Until he released an album centered around his mother’s battle with cancer and ultimate death. The first time I heard “Timmy’s Prayer”, I thought to myself, damn. Quiet music has a good place, and Sampha’s hushed voice over the ambient chords singing “I messed up, ooh / I know now / There's no room for me to play now” reminds me that yeah, I’ve messed up too. The real magic of the song, however, comes from the building of the bridge as Sampha sings with increasing fervor, “I wanna tell you that love comes and goes / That it comes and goes.” We all make mistakes, and sometimes it’s pretty fucking hard, and yet that process can lead to something beautiful, something wondrous.

15. Kelela // Take Me Apart

There is a reason that pop music is changing. For so long it’s been defined by EDM, and finally (finally) it’s shifting -- yes, to r&b. Thank goodness. And this album is the kind of album that reminds me why r&b is so good. Take Me Apart is Kelela’s debut, and you can bet I’m going to be paying attention to her in the next few years. I like to save songs that I really enjoy on a playlist for the season and I had to keep myself from just saving the entire album on the list as each song was equally as brilliant as the song that came before. A transition between to relationships, the album begins with a breakup song, but the brilliance comes from not only the lyrics, but the utterly intoxicating build through the first verse until the beat drops as the chorus begins, Kelela singing, “Couldn't take it back even though you wish I could / If you think I'm going back, you misunderstood.” (”Frontline”) The album takes you through the emotional journey of beginning another relationship however, and ultimately ends with a track of encouragement, that yeah, black women can fuck up the world, too: “There's a place for everyone / Let me remind you, let me remind you.”

14. Arcade Fire // Everything Now

Arcade Fire never does anything lightly. They had a whole fake branding down to the fake website for Reflektor, which ended up being a nearly 70 minute long somewhat-bloated excapade. Then they decided to do disco, and for some reason the critic world decided they didn’t like it. Fuck that. Everything Now was my summer listening album (other than a few more noteworthy albums to come). My coworkers and I blasted the lead single “Everything Now” through the open window of our field sampling van as we took buckets of crabs into the lab, and my friends and I sang the lyrics to “Signs of Life” as we strutted through the streets of Manhattan on our 21st birthday. I don’t even care that Pitchfork tore this album to shreds, if you don’t dance when the chorus of “Looking for signs of life / Looking for signs every night / But there's no signs of life / So we do it again” drops, something is wrong with you.

13. LCD Soundsystem // american dream

I’ll admit, I have never listened to LCD Soundsystem that much. I respected them as one of the more well known rock bands of the indie scene, and I had obviously heard a few of their more popular numbers on college radio (“All My Friends”). When their synthesizer/DJ genius person Gavin Rayna Russom came out as trans, it caught my attention. So when american dream came along, the release after a hiatus (post hiatus albums always get me, in re: Fall Out Boy, Sleater Kinney and obviously Slowdive) I listened to it. And it was a fantastic intro to the band: the long dancy kinda songs (“other voices” and “tonight”) to the even longer anthems (“how do you sleep”) and the even longer experimental EDM songs LCD is so well known for (“pulse v.1”), this album impressed me, and I came back for more. I understood why LCD soundsystem was so acclaimed; their music was damn good, and worth the wait.

12. Migos // C U L T U R E

Donald Glover called “Bad n Boujee” the best rap song he had ever heard. I’m not sure it’s the best I’ve ever heard, but Migos’ Culture was a damn good album. Impressively produced by 18 people and yet the three rappers at the center of the album are never lost. “Bad n Boujee”, the obvious hit from the album and collaboration with Lil Uzi Vert, is pretty relevant in today’s materialism, talking about getting rich and being with women with expensive taste. With lines like “cookin’ up dope in a crockpot” and “I'm young and rich and plus I'm boujee (hey)”, the song is big, and relevant, and addicting. Bourgeois is the new 1%, and if you’re not living it up, then what’s the point of living.

11. Run the Jewels // Run the Jewels 3

Run the Jewels’ first album was a little more of an experimental thrust into the world, and their second album brought the politicism and polarized lyrics we’ve come to know. Their third album takes what has been established and solidifies it into something uniquely theirs: big, bad and in your face; only the lyrics pack a little more punch than you first thought on the first listen. With team-ups with Danny Brown (“Hey Kids (Bumaye)”) to songs that are just RTJ taking it to the next level and keeping it as hype and as loud and as relevant as we’ve come to expect (“Talk To Me” and “Legend Has It”), RTJ3 is excellent, staying with us all the way through 2017 since its release in January. Oh, and if “Pather like a Pather” isn’t featured in Marvel’s Black Panther, they’re doing something really fucking wrong.

10. Vince Staples // big fish theory

When Vince Staples announced that he was departing from the previous sound of his critically acclaimed Summertime ‘06, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Then I heard that SOPHIE, of PC Music notoriety, was helping produce his album. The songs that carrie SOPHIE’s touch are obvious (“SEMO”, “Yeah Right”); SOPHIE is not a subtle producer, but this newer, bigger sound didn’t drown Staples’ raps, they exemplified them. Staples thrives in this sound as he thrived in the atonality of Summertime, and songs like “BagBak” and “745” are impressively big, hooking the listener in and keeping them coming back for more. I was impressed, and big fish theory is an album I have returned to several times this year. Staples takes us into his life with “Big Fish”, looking out at the world from how far he’s come in his fish bowl, and somehow the intimacy comes through amidst the bigger, badder sound.

9. Syd // Fin

This album was released in February. My friend called me and told me I needed to “have sweet lesbian sex to this album right now”. I couldn’t, so I put it off (idiotically) until I finally (only) listened to the album months later, in July. And I felt like an idiot. Syd, one half of the funk/r&b duo The Internet, is a queer icon. She shits gold, and her voice is the kind of smooth, cocky voice that is addicting and extremely sexy. Fin exemplifies this. Only Syd can pull of a braggadocio, egotistical song about fame, money, and of course, bitches: “I’m the one your girl been posting tweets ‘bout / This the kinda life me and my niggas used to dream ‘bout / Riding round your city in a mother fucking spaceship” (”No Problem”). Only Syd can sing this explicitly about sex and somehow make it tender: “Baby we can take it slow, say my name / Don't let go, I can hear your body when I / Pull your hair, what’s my name” from “Body” basically sum up the album. It’s Syd bragging about how great she is, and fuck yes, is she great.

8. HAIM // Something to Tell You

HAIM has been my favorite band since I first heard “The Wire” on my college radio as I drove home one afternoon just before I graduated as a senior. I listened to that album nearly every day that summer, and since then, I listen to the band and think of home. I was so nervous the moment I heard the news about their new release; I was terrified it was going to be a sellout record and absolute garbage. It wasn’t. It was no Days Are Gone, but it was just as wistful, just as smooth as Days Are Gone was, with a little extra disco. Sure, there are moments when it’s a little overproduced (sorry Ariel Rechtshaid, I don’t really care to hear this weird pop fake horse neigh on “Want You Back”, I just want to hear Este Haim’s slap bass and Alana’s first extended vocal solo since “Spirit Wind”). I may not have every song memorized yet, but you can bet I scream along to the chorus of the cathartic “Found it in Silence”: “But I found it in silence, I finally see / There's no turning back, I know what's good for me” or the almost Imogen Heap-like “Kept Me Crying”: “I was your lover / I was your friend / Now I'm only just someone you call / When it's late enough to forget”, and finally we hear the Danielle Haim Guitar Solo we’ve been waiting to hear since the beginning of the album. There’s throwback disco (“You Never Knew”), there’s raging blues rock (“Little of your Love”), there’s cathartic goodbyes (“Right Now”), and yeah, I’m a little teary. My band didn’t disappoint, and I am happy.

7. Jlin // Black Origami

This album was released in February, and has stuck with me throughout the entire year. It’s a black woman who refuses to let people (aka, white men) produce her work for her. It’s experimental and percussive and sometimes makes your brain feel like it’s melting (“1%). There aren’t many lyrics in the album, it’s almost entirely EDM experimental percussion, and gosh man, is it good. I listened to the album for the first time and I physically felt myself leave my body for a few moments to forget I was human. The percussive roots of the album are apparent in tracks like “Kyanite” and “Nyakinyua Rise”, and she gives us quieter moments with “Calcination” a rest from the percussive sound centered at the album’s heart. This album blew me away and stuck with me, and was one of the most out-of-nowhere albums of the year. There are surprises hidden away in this world; you just have to find them.

6. Giraffage // Too Real

So it was not once but twice my friend called me in frantic haze, saying, “Molly. Remember when I called you in February to tell you you needed to listen to Syd’s album that very moment and you didn’t and it bit you in the butt? Listen to this album right now.” I had never heard of Giraffage, and when I pulled the album up on spotify I was greeted by a naked blue guy’s butt, resembling Watchmen’s Dr. Manhattan, looking at a crumbling earth. Little was I to know that some vaporwave album from nowhere would go on to be one of my absolute favorite albums of the year. It’s indietronica/vapor soul at its finest: little to no lyrics except for the vocal distortion of “oooOOh YEAH” on the album’s opener “Do U Want Me” (somewhat off putting) until the funk kind of chimes in about 15 seconds later and takes you on the smoothest journey to vaportown. This may seem like I’m chiding the album, but that is the album’s vibe. It chides you until you listen to it 8 more times just that week. Something about future funk is addicting, and I can’t quite put my finger on it.

5. St. Vincent // MASSEDUCTION

How about we take the fallout of a relationship between two of the most iconic women on earth, that we thought for sure were gonna get married, have the musician at the center of the fallout write an album inspired in part from it, and have Jack Antonoff produce it. And let’s have every track be so St. Vincent that the album may in fact be her best album yet. From the moment “New York” dropped in the middle of the summer and became one of my quickly most listened to tracks of the year (“you’re the only motherfucker in this city who forgives me”) to the dropping of “Los Ageless” as a crunchy indie rock anthem (“How can anybody have you? / How can anybody have you and lose you? / How can anybody have you and lose you / And not lose their minds, too?”) to the fervent listen I gave the entire album the second it dropped on a September Friday, to seeing Annie Clark herself perform the album in its entirety live in Maine, this album has been one of my defining albums of 2017. In the end, Clark hints at what made that relationship fall apart on possibly my favorite track of the album, “Slow Disco”: “Am I thinking what everybody's thinkin'? / I'm so glad I came, but I can't wait to leave”. We’ll miss you until next time, Annie. But we’ll keep coming back.

4. Kendrick Lamar // DAMN.

Kendrick Lamar has been on my top albums of the year list since 2015. The man releases a living masterpiece, To Pimp a Butterfly, to critical acclaim. Next year, the same year Kanye West releases one of the most overproduced albums I’ve seen in my living years, he drops untitled unmastered, which went on to steal my heart. This year, he decides to make an album about growing up as a young black man in Compton, CA, and somehow makes it the most listenable rap album of the year. He is deservedly on the top spot again for both Pitchfork and NPR and a number of other publications, and deserves nothing less. From the songs everybody has on their party playlists, “Humble” and “DNA”, to collaborations with Rihanna and, um, U2?, to the end track of the album “Duckworth” telling the story of Lamar’s now-producer avoiding a robbery at Lamar’s father’s counseling, rewinding back to the beginning of the album, right back where we started: “So I was takin’ a walk the other day...”. The cycle repeats, and Lamar is left right in the center of it all, exactly where he should be.

3. SZA // Ctrl

Sometimes there are people in this world who are born with the voice of an angel and Solána Rowe is one of them. I idiotically did not listen to this album upon its immediate release; it was not until I was recapping the summer did my friend berate me for not listening to Ctrl. I listened to it and immediately fell head over heels in love with Rowe and everything she’s ever released. Ctrl took the minimalistic groundwork laid in Z and upped the ante, making the songs even more listenable than you thought. There’s a reason that r&b makes such good soundtracks to any sort of activity you could imagine; exemplified by the smooth base and twinkling synths of “The Weekend” to the more laid back “Drew Barrymore” as she sings, “am I / Warm enough for ya outside baby, yeah”, worrying like all of us do, in a moment of self doubt, if we are in fact good enough for the loved ones around us. Ctrl exemplifies this self doubt, making it poignant, universal, and oh so listenable.

2. Lorde // Melodrama

Lorde is my age, and it’s a little bit jarring. And yet, every single thing she sings about being a 21-year old is somehow reflected back into my life. Perhaps it was the release order of her singles, from “Green Light”, which sounded like a typical pop song with pretty good lyrics, to “Liability”, easily the best song Lorde has ever released in her entire life (“They say, "You're a little much for me, you're a liability / You're a little much for me” / So they pull back, make other plans / I understand, I'm a liability”), to “Perfect Places”, one of the greatest party anthems I have heard over these years, Lorde has outdone herself again. And if it couldn’t get any better, she takes one of the weaker songs on the album, “Homemade Dynamite”, and releases a remix with Khalid, SZA, and Post Malone (yes, you heard me right). Everything about this album is exactly what it needs to be, from the “glamour and the trauma and the fuckin' / Melodrama” to her whisper at the end of the album as the music crashes leaving her alone and tired and young, Lorde has created a masterpiece. I still ask myself, since the album has released, as I dance in dark lights crossfaded on friday evenings, surrounded by people...“What the fuck are perfect places, anyway?”

1. Khalid // American Teen

I’ll be real; this album may not have been as poignant as DAMN., as universal as Melodrama, or as listenable as Ctrl, but the moment this album was released in May, from the ending chorus of the opening and titular track “American Teen” sung by Khalid’s friends, to his smooth voice over a single piano at the end of “Angels”, I knew Khalid had my album of the year. Heartbreak, frustration, independent and lack of it, struggle, peer pressure and over it all, Khalid’s molasses voice singing over the release of (in my opinion) one of the best r&b albums I’ve heard, this album is universal. Every teenager has been where Khalid has been; trying to hide the smell of marijuana in his car from his parents (“8TEEN”) to losing hope when we thought we could make it through the hardest part (“Winter”), to the heartbreak of young love (“Another Sad Love Song”) we’ve been there. I listened to this album a gajillion times this year. I may not be a teenager anymore, but I’m about to graduate from college and be an adult. It’s a little terrifying. And if a 19 year old can make it through that process of independence (and then go on to release an exceptional album), then damn it, I can make it through too.

#albums of the year #music #culture #blxnder

[clansayeed]

Bound by Circumstance ― Chapter 2: Horror Film Clichés

PAIRING: Nik Ryder x trans*M!MC (Taylor Hunter) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Circumstance ⥽

Taylor Hunter (MC) has made it good for himself in New Orleans; turns out moving to a new city fresh out of college to reinvent yourself isn’t as hard as people make it out to be. Things only start to get confusing when he finds himself the target of a malevolent wraith. Good thing someone’s looking out for him though — because without Nighthunter Nik Ryder as his bodyguard he definitely won’t survive long in the twisting darkness of the supernatural underworld he's tripped into.

Bound by Circumstance and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the book Nightbound and the rest of the Bloodbound series. Find out more [HERE].

Note: Circumstance only loosely follows the events and plotline of Nightbound, and features a separate antagonist, different character motivations, and further worldbuilding.

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Circumstance/series tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

Taylor and the girls take on the town as festivities kick off in the French Quarter, only to suffer the hallucinations he thought he'd left behind. On the way home things take a turn for the cinematically terrifying.

[READ IT ON AO3]

They’re certainly a trio to be reckoned with. Not that anyone looks in the mood to try.

Vera and a different pair of silk gloves — still in color-coordination with her outfit, which is pretty impressive — gently nursing her second hurricane through a neon straw. Taylor and his version of fun with his own looping straw in a coke bottle. And Kristin completely hammered between them; beads from the night before swinging with the shimmy of her body towards anything that looks even remotely fruity and, more importantly, on a ‘2 for 1$’ Mardi Gras Week special.

Frankly Taylor’s a little surprised. Would have thought his finally coming clean about the only secret left between them might have curbed her alcoholic appetite. He must not be hiding it well either; since Vera comes up beside him while they watch her do that thing drunk girl strangers do where they suddenly find the other girl the most beautiful creature in the world and will die if they don’t tell her.

So, like, typical Kristin stuff.

“She’s been looking forward to this for months,” Vera says with fond exasperation, “had three countdowns; one on her desk calendar at work, one on her phone, and —”

“Let me guess, one on your phone?”

Vera grins. “Old habits, huh?”

“Her exams were on my alarm schedule.”

“Ooh, gotcha.”

“Mmhm.”

He’d thought it would be hard getting along with Vera — the friend of the friend — but it couldn’t have been more the opposite. Vera was witty and charming and had the distinct drawl of a native Southerner without any of the local judgment. She was definitely as fish-out-of-water in the throngs of party-goers as he was; something hard to come by and even harder not to feel ashamed about in the natural, glowing presence of Kristin’s extroversion.

The hard part comes when it turns out most of the local clubs and dives Vera had put on their agenda have adapted to the needs of the season in all the colors of the vodka rainbow.

Taylor keeps insisting he’s fine — “no offense to your keen sober coaching skills but I have lived in this town on my own for a bit now, Krissy” — but she won’t have it. Not until she’s had her shot, had a mysterious game card punched (where did that come from?), and pushes them back out the way they came.

There’s a thoughtful touch to his arm that makes Taylor look back. Vera glances at the streets and their lights with something like recognition.

“I think I know a great lil’ place nearby if y’all are into anything off the beaten path.”

She says y’all like she’s speaking to them both but Kristin’s whoop of delight as she trades beads with a man covered from head to toe in different shades of glitter for kisses on the cheek says she’s long gone.

Which may work in their favor, actually.

“How far?” asks Taylor. Vera gestures airily.

“Just on the other block. It’s nothing special — just a place some friends and I used to hang out in when I was younger. More a place for historical value than something to add to Cookie’s drink card over there.”

But it sounds great to him. “I’m in. You wanna play rodeo this time or should I?”

As Taylor tips an invisible cowboy hat her way Vera giggles open and unafraid; puts on what she probably thinks is a more Texan edge to her accent and pretends the glittering floral piece on her bodice is a belt buckle.

“I think this is a two-man job, pardner.”

He tries to take her seriously — really, he does. But nope, nope, it’s just too silly. He can’t not laugh. “Never — ah! ha! — never do that again!”

Together they successfully corral Kristin back into the safety of their immediate vicinity and head over to Vera’s suggestion. Which, as it turns out, is exactly the kind of place Taylor’s been hoping they’d find all night.

Small and the exact opposite of crowded; filled with wooden surfaces both glossy and in need of a little love. Frames on the walls of years gone by but uncluttered — they leave him with the feeling of wanting to make his own space not just on the wall but in the world outside.

Once Kristin’s safe and snug in a rounded booth Taylor joins Vera up at the bar to bring back drinks.

“Two cokes and a water, please!” Even she sounds cheerier. What happens when you send two introverts out to party at one of the most crowded events of the year, he supposes.

“This one’s on me.” Taylor insists; is already forking out the bills.

Vera sighs but doesn’t exactly decline, waves in thanks as she heads towards the back where a neon sign says ‘LADIES.’ “Lemme go powder my noise for a second, cher.”

One minute he’s examining the bottles decorated with beads and stuffed with themed string lights for the occasion and the next he’s pressed against the bar with a hot and heavy voice husking in his ear.

“Pssst!”

Taylor sighs and gently pushes Kristin off. “I thought we told you to stay put in the booth.”

“Well, yeahduh,” she rolls her eyes like she’s done exactly as asked, continues on; “but this is more important!”

He waits. And waits. Finally has to ask. “What is?”

With drunken subtlety Kristin jerks her head to the last booth in the row. “That.”

“What?”

“That!”

Admittedly the first time he’s only humoring her. The second — and only because if she gets any louder the party outside might hear her — he actually looks. And probably would have missed the stranger and the glass he nurses in the shadows if Kristin hadn’t directly pointed him out.

His eyes haven’t exactly adjusted to the bar’s dim lighting yet; makes him have to squint with all tact out the window. There’s no pretending he’s doing anything other than trying to map out the face of the lone stranger.

Though there’s no pretending the stranger isn’t staring directly at him, either.

A leather-clad arm grabs his dusky tumbler and brings it up; lets it melt into the shadows he wears well. There’s an angular jaw and dark hair that blends in around him. The heavy tap-tap of a workman’s boot like an afterthought.

Whoever he is he’s definitely not dressed up for the festivities. Looks more at home in the shadows than the shadows themselves. Besides the glint of his eyes in the yellow bottled lights he wears the shadows perfectly.

Or maybe they wear him instead.

As a rule Taylor’s never been one to believe in cliches — things like love at first sight only happen in the movies. And judging by the chill that runs down his spine it’s definitely not love he’s feeling as his world zones in on the stranger and his shadows.

No, he’s quite familiar with this particular feeling; the tension in his jaw and the cold sweat that presses spandex and cotton to his back, the way things go a bit fuzzy around the edges and he’d rather this not happen ever again but definitely not now — not with people he knows.

Only… it doesn’t. As if he’s willed it into reality. Even with a heated face and the surprising tickle of sweat creasing on the outside of his eye.

Taylor waits, and waits, and waits… but the shadows stay shadowy and the man stays, well, manly. No hidden face in the depths — no sharp teeth or pitch-black eyes or, hell, rock-looking mountain skin.

The man is just a man. And as suddenly as the feeling overtakes Taylor it’s gone.

“Now Cookie, stop it — Taylor, hon? Taylor.”

Like the air was made of molasses and suddenly starts being air again Taylor turns his head all-too-quickly. Snaps to attention at Vera snapping her fingers in vain in front of his face. Lucky he’s still leaning against the bartop because the vertigo that follows is not pleasant.

“I… wha..?”

The back of her glove is warm against his forehead. He’ll have to buy her a new pair if he damages that one with his perspiration.

“Sweetheart,” the fact that the worry isn’t letting up in her tone should be evidence enough, “you look like the whole Mardi Gras parade just passed over your grave.”

The situation has the doubled effect of sobering Kristin up. She offers him what was supposed to be her water with a frown. “Damn, Tay, you look like a shadow or something.”

A shadow.

While terror at first sight might not be one of the cliches for the books he’s pretty sure vanishing into thin air is. The only thing left in the corner booth is the now-empty tumbler and a crinkled bill.

And there’s this sinking pit in his stomach that should he ask “Hey, what happened to that man in the corner?” the only answer he’ll get is “What man?” and another thing to tell his therapist about.

With shaking hands he takes the glass and sips it at Kristin’s urging.

“I —” god his throat burns like he’s not had a drop to drink in years, “— I think it might be my bedtime.”

He tries to laugh it off. Can’t even convince himself. Isn’t sure he wants to.

Vera gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. There’s something motherly about her smile. “I think it might be all’a our bedtimes.”

Kristin looks ready to argue — a look from her coworker stops her in her tracks; makes her silently agree.

Right now he couldn’t ask for better friends.

He could, however, ask for friends of a more sober variety.

“I don’t think this is the way to my place, guys. Why don’t we just call a car?”

“Relax worrywort,” Kristin tells him for the umpteenth time, “Vera grew up around here. She knows these streets like the back of her hand!”

She looks to Vera for confirmation but the look they get back is less than reassuring.

“It’s been a while since I’ve wandered these old roads, Cookie.” Vera looks apologetically at Taylor. He can’t blame her — he’s lived here more recently and still doesn’t know the back alleys and rues as well as he should.

“C’mon! Where’s your sense of adventure?” whines Kristin. Taylor’s pretty sure he left it back at the bar in the stranger’s corner.

Wherever they are they’re well beyond the party now. He strains to hear even the most distant sounds of the Quarter but the chorus of silence and accompanying locust orchestra.

Vera’s phone screen illuminates her face in a gaunt digital glow; shows just how quickly it turns into a frown. “That’s funky…”

“What is?”

She shakes her head, extends a hand. “Can I borrow your phone? My carrier must be mad I left New York.”

He offers it without thought. She takes Kristin’s, too, both screens like spotlights.

Funky isn’t the word he’d use to describe the troubled crease in her brow. “Vera; what is it?”

She lifts the phones skywards — points them at the numerous strings of telephone wires criss-crossing over them like a net. “Must be in a dead zone or something.”

Kristin giggles and knocks into his side. “Oooh how spooooky~”

Only he doesn’t share her sentiments. Not spooky but certainly troubling — and immediately his anxiety goes against him and decides to remember what Tilly the tour guide had said the day before about things worse than ghosts that liked to hang around New Orleans at night.

“Well then let’s walk until we find signal.”

There isn’t any three blocks to the right. Or two blocks up and four over. Kristin stops complaining about how much her heels make her feet ache a little while on. The night air’s done wonders to clear her head but he almost wishes she still had the distraction of a buzz to keep her from worrying.

If he wasn’t so concerned with the surroundings getting less and less familiar by the minute he might make a quip about their reliance on unreliable technology.

“What was that?!”

Taylor hisses; pries Kristin’s nails out of his arm like shrapnel. Can still hear her high-pitched shriek ringing in his ears. She sounds like just another cicada.

She’s fixated on the empty street behind them. Nothing moves under the dim lamplight — not even a bit of grass in the wind. Had there been a breeze before? He doesn’t remember.

Vera takes on a little bit of the Kristin-duty — gently coaxes her over to hold her gloved hand tightly and shushes her nice and steady.

“What spooked ya, baby girl?”

“I could have sworn I saw…” She searches the darkness with a scrutiny that doesn’t ease Taylor in the slightest. “There was a movement and…”

“And,” Vera finishes for her, “it was probably just a bird over the moon. You’re only freakin’ yourself out. One foot in front of the other, you know how it goes.”

It’s enough to get them moving again. Taylor rubs his hands over his bare arms and looks up at the cloud-covered moon.

Two more blocks and Taylor’s finally had enough. If they didn’t have any signal closer to civilization then they certainly aren’t going to get any in the heart of shotgun houses and street lights every quarter mile.

“This is getting us nowhere. Maybe we should just double back to the Qu —”

Kristin interrupts him with another shriek and a jabbed finger.

“There it is again!”

But, again, there’s nothing but the night. Taylor sighs. “Okay, no more ghost watch for Kris —”

This her third scream almost breaks his eardrums. Makes Taylor wince and clap a hand over one ear as he glares between the girls in frustration. How the hell she managed it with her mouth closed he doesn’t know, but it’s getting to be too much.

Makes him gawk at Vera who gives a full-body shiver. “Seriously?”

Tears prickle at the edges of Kristin’s eyes and her lower lip wobbles the same as it does when she sees a movie with more than one dog.

“Taylor… that — that wasn’t Kristin.”

“Stop, Vera, yes it —”

“Cher I’m standin’ right next to her.”

He takes a step forward. Feels a sudden cold like the bite of winter on the back of his neck as he places his clammy palm over Kristin’s mouth.

And, as if triggered by touch, the cicadas stop their serenade at the unearthly screech so loud it thins the air around them. The kind of noise that makes blood turn over and go sour. Makes it stop pumping in your chest and, in the void left, lets your heart begin pumping liquid fear instead.

They’ve all seen how this goes down: separation means being picked off, running means there’s something to run from. Like there’s something bred deep into their mortal bones the three take hands and usher one another along with haste.

“What is it?” Kristin whispers thickly.

“I don’t know —”

“— and I don’t want to find out.” Vera finishes for him. Keeps looking back behind them even though the high-pitched howl echoes off the ramshackle homes in all directions.

Taylor knows the logical thing to do would be to pound on doors until some sleepy, confused soul dares to confront them. Knows they’ll somehow be safe surrounded by thin walls and the presence of a stranger. The monsters in horror movies never show up when there’s an unknowing witness, right?

But logic doesn’t exist in horror movies.

And his life just became one.

The housing alleys open up onto a main road — deserted, as per horror movie logic — with a large brick wall across.

He recognizes it immediately.

“Come —” —does the howl that drowns him out sound closer or is it just him?— “— come on! Over the wall!”

They’re in the middle of the street when Vera gets her bearings; stops them all with a surprisingly strong grip despite the slippery gloves.

“No way!”

But the cemetery is so close. “Well we don’t exactly have a ton of options!” He hisses.

“Trust me on this when I say whatever’s locked up in there at night is worse than what might be out here.”

He yanks back his hand as if burned.

“What-ever?”

Taylor doesn’t miss it. Wouldn’t give a slip of the tongue much thought given the circumstances only Vera seems genuinely fearful at the distinction between who and what.

“Whoever—whatever! Just — that’s a dumb idea. You’re gonna get us killed.” She argues.

Kristin looks between them and bites her lip white. “Guys…”

“Vera, do you know something?”

“What — I don’t —”

“Do you know something about this?!”

In the absence of screeching the silence is somehow worse.

Vera looks down and to the left.

“No.”

Fuck. They so don’t have time for this right now.

“Krissy — come on!” Thank god she doesn’t hesitate — looks back at Vera crestfallen before crossing the road to the cemetery with him.

He’ll feel bad about leaving her behind if and when he gets the chance to look back — not fondly, no fucking way — but every nerve and fiber of his being is screaming uncertain about even that.

With grunts and effort he hikes Kristin up enough for her to grab onto the top of the wall. Fights off the paranoia that comes with the suddenly restless shadows around them.

Kristin lays flat on her belly at the top; reaches down and helps Taylor scramble up before his shoes can resist the mossy surface.

Poised to leap down he throws a last look back. Vera’s nowhere to be seen.

“Taylooor!”

He vaults down into the safe entrapment of Lafayette Cemetery Number Two.

Before both feet even hit the ground Kristin’s on him; smacking him with open palms and tears down her cheeks. “I can’t believe you just left her you asshole!”

She left Vera, too, but something tells him that’s not the right thing to say.

“It was her choice.”

“Dude — nobody thinks clearly in shit like this! Oh my god — what did I do? We need to go back.”

He grabs her wrists. “No. Krissy, no. Look at me. Look at me!” Doesn’t mean to shout but it’s the only way to get through to her right now. If anyone was the blonde in the movie…

“Something’s not right, okay?”

“Yeah, leaving her wasn’t —”

“No — fuck — stop! I mean it felt like she… she knew something… someone…”

And here comes the headache again. Maybe just being near alcohol is the problem. Can’t do much about it now — even sober it oozes from Kristin’s pores.

But is it a hallucination if they’re seeing—hearing—it too?

He watches her face crumple and does the only thing he can. Pulls her into a bone-crushing hug both to stifle her sobs and feel the grounding presence of her fluttering heartbeat.

“W-WW-We’re the dumb white teens in-n the gg-gore flick, Tay.”

There’s nothing humorous in his laugh.

“Yeah, we are.” Pushes her back gently and points behind her — across the cemetery to the far wall beyond.

“I was here yesterday. There’s a twenty-four hour cafe on that side. We make it there and by movie logic: no more being chased, right? Right?” He waits until she nods; tries to muster up a smile but knows the twist of it is nowhere near reassuring. “Good. Then come on.”

Only Vera had their phones. And the dead don’t need night-lights.

They use the worn stone tombs to keep themselves steady. Make it all the way to the dividing path of the cemetery under the cover of almost pitch darkness when the moon decides to peek its ugly mug out from behind the clouds.

The wind stops mid-groan.

He’s just being cautious. Just keeping an eye on their surroundings. No matter the who or the what there can be a very real danger posed in cemeteries at night. It’s not just a ploy to scare tourists. So he’s just being cautious.

Only he could repeat that excuse until his tongue bleeds and Taylor would know it’s not the whole truth. Not that he’d admit to knowing he needed to look at the entrance gates at that exact time in that exact place.

No; nothing save torture would get him to admit that.

Long wisps of tattered cloth billow in the still air. Translucent, like mummy wrappings. Trailing outwards from the gaunt and yellowing skull in a burial halo.

No, not a skull. Skulls don’t have flesh but as his eyes adjust to the waning moonlight he can see the rotting, putrid remains of skin still clinging; holding on for dear life against hard cheekbones, sinew holding together a gaping jaw.

The decay makes it harder to tell the difference between organic and fabric the more of the creature he takes in. Could play a funky little samba tune on each protruding rib but can’t see through it to the spine. The bones deform down at the hands; the talons bearing rust-covered manacles ripped from the depths of some place that makes him question his spirituality.

And Taylor imagines the combination might have made the feet of the thing look comical — if it had any. But it ends, stunted, at skin pulled taut over the pelvic bone before it dissolves into writhing maggots and the remains of what might have once been an angelic-white burial shroud.

But he’s an actor — he’s seen what the film industry can do, the magic of stage blood and putty. He’s seen some pretty ugly realities made from fake props.

It’s the smell that isn’t a fake. That same curling, chemical smell bodies have at wakes. Formaldehyde. And under that a sour and metallic odor that literally — no, literally — makes anything living near it wilt, brown, and wither into spidery white fungi and black-spiked mold.

The world is quiet. Almost blissfully so. Like it wants Taylor to let the creature be just another figment of his imagination.

It raises a claw. Warped fingers curled. And points at his heart.

Behind him Kristin gives a shattering shriek. The creature’s jaw falls gaping and meets her at every decibel.

His cries of “Go — go go — GO!” are lost to the ringing in his ears as the skeleton—thing—whatever-it-is raises its arms and tears through the metal gate in one fell swoop. Cuts through it like fingers through a waterfall and with the touch of death that makes the iron curl and twist in on itself; age with rust and years it shouldn’t have been forced to see so soon.

Then it’s floating — actually floating — towards them. Really really fast.

They trip over themselves, one another in their haste to run. Taylor makes sure to push Kristin ahead of him. Doesn’t know if that’ll do anything in the long run to prolong her life or just stave off her inevitable suffering but he can’t not try.

“Keep running!” Don’t look back.

“I am!”

“Don’t look back!” Keep running.

“Wasn’t planning on it!”

In a startling move Kristin grabs the corner of a mausoleum and whips around it — has to grab Taylor by the hem of his shirt so he can follow because there’s absolutely no way they’re splitting up now.

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygo —”

His turn to yank her along through the narrowing paths between the crypts. “Nope — no time for that shit. Move!”

But in the back of his mind Taylor’s screaming at himself; they’re only going further into a cage of their own making. Leaping over the other wall was a good idea when they had the time and the clarity of mind but now, being chased by Jacob-Marley-from-Hell, they were in short supply of both.

And losing more by the second.

Hide. It’s coming.

Common sense, right? So why does Common Sense suddenly have a voice that echoes in his head like a thousand different cries?

Hide!

He spots the gaping void of black like moon gives it a spotlight. Grabs Kristin’s hair — he’ll apologize later — to get her attention. Together they slip between the sliver of space in the open stone door.

“In here!”

“What the fu—”

Taylor clamps his sweating hand over her mouth as their creature gives another howl to the night. Drags its claws against stone because why wouldn’t it be absolutely fucking terrifying like that?

He blinks; lets his eyes adjust to the almost-too-darkness to fixate on Kristin’s trembling eyes. A knowing glance and he lets his hand slip down.

“What do we do?”

Yeah, Common Sense, what do we do? Taylor knows he’s not going to get an answer. There’s no script here — no director and no blocking. Just him and his dumb brain being clouded by panic.

“All right listen,” he whispers back, “whatever… whatever that is it tore right through the gates. If we can get there maybe…”

“Maybe it’ll chase us out there?”

“Krissy.”

“I know — I know. I just…” She gives him a look and he knows. Feels it, too. That cold sweat and the fear of the unknown. But one step at a time.

They wait until the creature’s cry sounds distant; maybe on the other side of the cemetery? Maybe not — not that they really have a choice.

Taylor goes first. Looks left, right, left again and has a fucking heart attack at tree branches looming overhead but it’s enough space to run so they run for it.

Fouled rot his them like a wall and he doesn’t have to look back to know it’s behind them in hot pursuit. He does anyway. What skin is left around its mouth tears and snaps to push out another bellowing scream.

Blood drips hotly from its teeth.

“KRISSY RUN!”

He doesn’t have to tell her twice.

The chase could be minutes, could be seconds. It could be an hour-long montage of weaving in and out of narrow escapes and almost-captureds or something out of Scooby Doo. Whatever it is it sucks the life out of them both but only gives that thing more energy the longer it goes on.

And then—then—he catches sight of a familiar path of dead grass and a molding bereavement bouquet.

“Come on! We’re almost there!” he cries; reaches back behind him flailing for Kristin’s hand in his.

They’re going to make it.

I’m so sorry.

Stop. No. He can see the gate.

I’m so, so sorry.

Kristin’s fingertips like butterfly kisses brush his wrist. Then nothing. And now he knows how awful silence is compared to the cry of the dead.

Taylor skids to a stop. Turns to see Kristin just standing there in rigor mortis — just letting it approach her in undulating rags and spectral death. Watches with open-mouthed horror as one of the skeletal hands reaches out to touch her.

It’s obscene how gentle the touch looks. Soft like a lover brushing from the tip of her forehead to her parted lips. The more it trails the paler she becomes and he’s not crazy when he can see the pulsing, pounding of her veins running black instead of blue underneath her sheet-white complexion.

The hardest part is not knowing whether she turns to him in a last, desperate act or if the creature compels her head to turn. But the milky whites of her eyes are branded into his memory for good.

Kristin crumples to the dirt; another dead thing at its feet.

And it fucking grins at him.

The last thing Taylor realizes is how much the thing is enjoying it; this — the chase. Makes him feel a warmth down his legs through his jeans and leaves him paralyzed.

He’s pretty sure the image of Kristin’s eyes reflected in the abyss of its rotting sockets isn’t a hallucination. But the figure that appears seemingly out of nowhere behind? Oh most definitely.

And the bright white light that shines, radiates, swallows the shadows in a bellyful that leaves him blind? Yeah, that too.

And the weightlessness? Well… now he’s probably just dreaming.

He can’t remember… do horror films get last-minute rescues?

#nightbound #playchoices #playchoices fanfiction #nik ryder x mc #nik ryder #vera reimonenq #nightbound mc #mc: taylor hunter #oblv: bound by circumstance #oblv: new chapter #; my fics

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week twenty-five

capsule reviews of the pop songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 the weeks of 30 June 2007 and 1 July 2017

30 June 2007

87) "Teenagers," My Chemical Romance

Y'know, I find Welcome to the Black Parade mostly disagreeable, but heck if this song ain't a bright spot, insofar as a song about bringing concealed weaponry of some kind to school is a "bright spot." (Hey, I dunno, if you have to add a disclaimer to the video saying "violence isn't the answer," you should consider a different song for the single? Just a thought, don't wanna backseat record executive, here, but that seems bad.) Like, apart from the "under your shirt" line, it's kind of a perfect angsty vibe, not Linkin Parky fml angst, more angsty in that eternally adolescent sense of "all adults are robots and I will never conform," it channels that really well, and it has a dope guitar solo. I don't think I've mentioned a guitar solo being fun, and I can't tell if that's because I don't typically care about guitar solos or this is the first memorable guitar solo we've gotten, but either way, best guitar solo of the project so far. I am spending a lot of time on this song because I'm like 60% sure it's gonna be the only song I like this week. (spoilers: it isn’t!)

93) "Imagine," Jack Johnson

You know what's another thing about "Teenagers?" Like, even before I ever listened to Welcome to the Black Parade, I could draw a line from "Welcome to the Black Parade" to "Teenagers." I could make sense of how "Teenagers" would fit in a narrative that began with "Welcome to the Black Parade," how that kid would become angry and sullen and start scaring adults. I wish more singles had some sort of thematic throughline, like I don't necessarily mean Future should write a rock opera, I mean that I should be able to get the sense that like "Shape of You" and "Castle on the Hill" are from the same album. But maybe I'm just projecting, maybe I'm stuck in MUSIC WAS BETTER IN 2007 mode when, as seen here, it clearly fucking wasn't.

94) "Shawty," Piles ft./T-Pain

wait hold up is that the "shawty, yeah-e-yeah, yeah" from the start of "i'm on the boat." did t-pain start all his features with "shawty yeah-e-yeah yeah" and i'm just noticing it now, or did t-pain reuse a run. anyway, piles is the goat: grossest of all time. he drops bars that would make yachty wince. like, this is just the first verse: "i pointed at the donk & told her this s'posed to be yours/showed her a couple stacks and told her i'd let her blow it" what body part is the donk in this context. if piles calls his dick 'the donk' i might throw up, especially since he believes being able to suck on it is a wonderful privilege. "i taught her how to talk to me while she take pipe" well, communication is key to any healthy relationship, i'm glad piles understands its importance "i gotta train her, now she suck me with ice" oh okay that's cool, yeah no, women need to be trained to give pleasure, i get it, totally, chill attitude that was the first verse. piles is the worst. i can't believe we squandered this hook and the "bust it baby, pt. 2" hook on this gross gross boy. oh hey second verse "member she used to run from me, now she like pain" cool. coooooooooooooooooooooooool. what a song!

no updates to the 2007 top 20 week but we’re gonna publish the top 20 because i didn’t last week and you may have forgotten 20) "Get Me Bodied," by Beyonce (5.26.2007) 19) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 18) "I Don't Wanna Stop," by Ozzy Osbourne (5.26.2007) 17) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 16) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 15) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 14) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 13) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 12) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 11) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 10) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," by Kanye West (6.16.2007) 9) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 8) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 7) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 6) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 5) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 4) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 3) "Beautiful Flower," by India.Arie (6.16.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) i still enjoy all 20 of these songs. alright, 2017, low bar for ya. maybe you wanna clear it?

1 July 2017

16) "2U," David Guetta by ft./Justin Bieber

There's something I really don’t like about Justin Bieber saying "Watch me speak from my heart when it comes to you," and then having that line immediately followed by an EDM drop. Like is the drop supposed to be a substitute for words? Is the drop supposed to communicate what's in Justin Bieber's heart? Because all I hear from the drop is "what a nifty drop I am!" But this feels less like a criticism than it does like pedantry. It's OK. David Guetta is a proven programmer of pop music, and this is another solid song that he has made that I wouldn't have been able to pin to David Guetta if I listened to this blind.

70) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott

Worth pointing out that the first autocomplete result for love galore is "love galore travis scott," which is cool. I'm also gonna cop to having this album in my library but letting it sit because there's so much else I have to get to and this wasn't a priority. This song doesn't move the album higher in my queue, but it does have me excited to get to it. This is a dope song, this portrait of an awful relationship neither party much wants to be in, but are staying together because they love each other, whatever that means. SZA regrets hooking up with Travis Scott, Travis Scott admits he was only looking for ass and titties, they both operate independently of one another, but there's love, so there's that. And then the end, when that extremely pleasant bass line disappears, there's that single note on the keyboard and SZA going "woah," then that beat switch into SZA saying "I came here to have sex with you, and if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here," that's just so cool, like this song is complex and intricate and it does the thing "4 AM" did last week where the music occasionally goes out of tone and it does that thing to great effect. SZA's dope. I'm excited for whatever time I get to spend with her in the future. ...OK. OK, fine, I'll fucking leave this nice dark place and go to countrydudetopia.

79) "Do I Make You Wanna," by Billy Currington

Time for a YAS REWIND, because remember last week when we talked about how many people have made it from the 2007 Hot 100 to the 2017? THIS IS RELEVANT TO THAT, because Billy Currington just became the 29th member of the Decade Dance Party! We will share the full list later in this post, because there are only 10 songs this week and most of them blow so I'ma give you some other #content this week, but it's worth noting right here that 9 of the 29 members of Decade Dance Party are country dudes. You drive down enough dirt roads, you're gonna get stuck in the mud at some point. This is a song in which Billy Currington asks his girlfriend if he makes her feel complete and safe, which is either incredibly arrogant or pathetically needy.

89) "Escapate Conmigo," by Wisin ft./Ozuna

HELL YEAH LATIN POP. Gosh, the renewal of Latin pop as a thing we listen to has been one of the best things about doing this silly thing. Like, all the Latin pop is my second favorite thing about YAS, just ahead of Kendrick week but, let's be real, a million miles behind Ashley Tisdale's cover of "Kiss the Girl." This is such a nice song. The beat bounces nicely, Wisin's flow is like "what if Lin-Manuel Miranda rapped in Spanish and was also good" (like maybe it's been a while since I heard that dude rap, but they sound so very alike), and it has one of the best mis-translated lyrics of the year with "My supergirl/The one whose smiles steal me/Tremendous wolf." Tremendous wolf. I adore that.

93) "What Ifs," by Kane Brown ft./Lauren Alaina

I see you, dude. First off, this dude's voice is incredible. Like, after listening to dude after dude either whispering softly over EDM or bleating twangily over the country beat, hearing this dude belt was An Experience. I wish the production would calm down a little bit, like this dude and Lauren Alaina could have made this song an epic ballad on their own, but nah, gotta have the electronic drums spoil a perfectly good opening guitar line, gotta have the standard pop/country things choke the life out of what could've been some cool moments. This dude's a lot like that Luke Combs fella from a few months back, not stylistically or anything, just in the sense that I bet he's cooler than he is on this song, and I trust he's not just some bro country yutz, but I'm not in any rush to check out what else he's got, despite how appealing the song title "Used to Love You Sober" is.

95) "It's a Vibe," by 2 Chainz ft./Ty Dolla $ign, Trey Songz & Jhene Aiko

This was also OK! As stated, this song was a vibe, and gosh darn, if it didn't do much more than vibe, though. A fun way to kill three minutes, a less than fun thing to listen to if you're charging yourself with the task of coming up with some unique point to make about it for to generate likes and the whatnot. S'a'ight, y'know? I'm supposed to write, what, 100 words about something thats'a'ight? I mean, I don't have to, no one ever asked me to and they clearly don't want me to, but like. It's a vibe! It's another one. Fuck it, I don't, sigh, just give me the country dudes and let's get out of this actually-pretty-decent week.

100) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne

OK. OK! OK, hell yeah, no, I'm sorry for calling you country dudes, 'cuz hot damn, this was great. Like, Chris Stapleton gets a lot of hype for making classic country music, but he only makes the sad slow acoustic country music, and like Johnny Cash had "Folsom Prison Blues" and "A Boy Named Sue," y'know? Not to compare this song to those, but this is uptempo classic country, this is classic country with got damn STOMP, and it's dope as hell.

Two new songs in the Top 20 for 2017! 20) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne (7.1) 19) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 18) "Felices los 4," by Maluma (6.3) 17) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 16) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott (7.1) 15) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 14) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 13) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 12) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 11) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 10) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 9) "Strangers," by Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui (6.17) 8) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) I bumped “Selfish” this week. I have no idea how that happened. 2017′s slowly becoming stacked, and/or I’m an idiot.

Who won the week?

2017. Like? 2017.

2017: 13 2007: 12

Yooge opportunity for 2017 to widen this gap, too, so I’m stoked for a solid two weeks of Chainsmokers songs and memes. Anyway, THE IMPORTANT THING.

The Decade Dance Club

30 people have made or been featured on songs that charted in the years 2007 and 2017. They are: 1) Daddy Yankee (”Impacto,” “Shaky Shaky”) 2) Dierks Bentley (”Free & Easy,” “Black”) 3) Luke Bryan (”All My Friends Say,” “Fast”) 4) Gucci Mane (”Freaky Gurl,” “Make Love”) 5) Jason Aldean (”Johnny Cash,” “Any Ol’ Barstool”) 6) Lil Wayne (”Sweetest Girl” (feat), “Running Back” (feat)) 7) Missy Elliott (”Let it Go” (feat), “I’m Better”) 8) Maroon 5 (”Makes Me Wonder,” “Cold”) 9) Nick Jonas (”Year 3000″ (w/jobros), “Bom Bidi Bom”) 10) DJ Khaled (”We Takin Over,” “Shining”) 11) Beyonce (”Get Me Bodied,” “Shining”) 12) Jay-Z (”Blue Magic,” “Shining”) 13) Linkin Park (”What I’ve Done,” “Heavy”) 14) Rihanna (”Umbrella,” “Selfish” (feat)) 15) Josh Turner (”Me & God,” “Hometown Girl”) 16) Rick Ross (“We Takin Over” (feat), “Trap Trap Trap”) 17) Faith Hill (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 18) Tim McGraw (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 19) Miranda Lambert (”Famous in a Small Town,” “Tin Man”) 20) Enrique Iglesias (”Dimelo,” “Subeme la Radio”) 21) Flo Rida (”Low,” “Cake”) 22) Kenny Chesney (”Beer in Mexico,” “Bar at the End of the World”) 23) Paramore (”Misery Business,” “Hard Times”) 24) Miley Cyrus (”Nobody’s Perfect,” “Malibu”) 25) Blake Shelton (”Don’t Make Me,” “Every Time I Hear That Song”) 26) Shakira (”Beautiful Liar,” “Me Enamore”) 27) Rascal Flatts (”Stand,” “Yours if You Want It”) 28) Trey Songz (”Can’t Help But Wait,” “Nobody Else But You”) 29) Billy Currington (”Good Directions,” “Do I Make You Wanna”) 30) Wisin (”Sexi Movimento,” “Escapate Conmigo”)

Shout out to Wisin for making the list, too! So that’s 30, out of hundreds, who have had a career on the pop charts that spanned a decade. Specifically, the last ten years, there’s a few folks who’ve charted in 2017 that didn’t chart in 2007 despite being things back then, such as Darius Rucker, Eminem, John Legend, Mariah Carey, and Pharrell Williams. There’s also some folks who hit in 2008 that have hit in 2017, your Katy Perries and Ladies Antebellum, that cannot make this list because, hey, it’s kind of a dumb list. But music is dumb, and this list should illustrate how hard it is to last in the music business (unless you’re a dude who makes country music), which is why it’s vitally important we spend hours and hours dissecting Lil’ Yachty lyrics.