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Elves have heighten senses right, so they probably never had a need for hunting dogs. So they probably never had dogs as pets. So…

Bard: These are my children!

Thranduil (points are dog): what is that

Bard: that’s my son!

Thranduil: Bard what the fuck?!?!?

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-A day in Mirkwood -

Bard to gimli: so what’s your cute nickname for Legolas?

Legolas: don’t be funny Gimli doesn’t have a cute nickname for m-

Gimli: it’s lollipop. He my lollipop

Legolas: …

*Bard smiling*

Legolas: when have you once called me that?

Gimli: all the time… behind your back to others.

Legolas: and after all these years of calling me pointy ears I’m just now finding out you call me lollipop to others?!

Gimli: you’re being over dramatic, it’s only been two years.

Bard: he gets that from his father, they’re both overly dramatic.

Thranduil *in another room*: I HEARD THAT!!!

Bard *in a slight whisper*: see? Dramatic.


Because every time I listen to Lollipop by The Chordettes I think about if gimli would call legolas his lollipop

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We all assume Bard hung out in Thran's tent but consider...
Thranduil: *sneaking back into his own tent very, very early in the morning in yesterday's clothing*
Galion: *sitting in the dark, contemplating life* Oh, finally, where have you been?!
Thranduil: *leaping a mile into the air* Nothing! No one! Nowhere! I-! Mind your own business, Galion! What are you doing in here, anyway?!?!
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Sleeping Prince?: Potion Prompt

Im so excited! This is the first day of the 13 days of spooky writing event created by @dumbassunderthemountain​. The prompt for today was potion so I took inspiration from that plus the tale of sleeping beauty with a twist. I tried to switch the classic gender roles in the fairytale and remove all the creepy issues with consent the story deals with. I hope y'all don’t mind all the Thranduil content I have been doing lately, Im not sure what’s up with that. Just feel inspired ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


You worked as a personal made to Prince Thranduil of Mirkwood. Your job was hard, but it payed well and helped you support your family. Your favorite and least favorite part of the job was the prince himself. On one hand, you found his presence enchanting and on the other it stung your heart to be around him. You see you fell in love with the prince, despite knowing it was impossible to be loved back. You were a commoner after all, and he was royalty. Despite this fact the prince and you shared many conversations together while you were cleaning his room. Everyone of these conversations made you just fall deeper and deeper in love with Thranduil; Little did you know the same was happening to him. 

On one particular night, you and many other servants were serving dinner for the royal family. You listened to King Orphoer and his wife argue back and fourth about potential royal matches for their son. You could see Thranduil zoning of as his parents rambled on about eligible princes of other elven kingdoms. It hurt you to listen but you kept a stone face as you poured the queen a glass of wine. Another servant did the same for the king and prince. Too busy with arguing the King and Queen did not take a spit of wine, however the bored prince did, hoping to realize some of his stresses. 

A minute too late a guard frantically rushed into the dinning room interrupting the king and queens squabble. 

“What is the meaning of this sudden interruption!” The King barked at the guard.

“My King forgive me, But I had no choice! The wine is poisoned. An enemy the kingdom tainted the wine with a potion!” The guard panted out.

“Poison, find who did this so I can-” Oropher roared only to be cut off by a thump caused by Thranduil fainting back into his chair causing it to sway backwards and tip over. 

The queen immediately rushed to her son along with myself and other servants to help bring the chair back up and try to wake the prince.

“My son, he drank the wine. Is he dead? Please someone save him” The queen pleaded tears forming in her eyes. 

“N-no, miss. Based off what we could figure out its an extremely powerful sleeping potion.. with only one known cure.” The guard nervously elaborated, with worry lacing his voice.

“What is the cure, we must find it as soon as possible” The king demanded.

“It’s umm, not physically tangible.. you see the cure is true loves kiss.” The guard nervously explained.

A Look of shock and panic passed over the kings face at this. We all knew why. Thranduil did not have a true love, how would we save him. 


With no possible way to wake their son the king and queen kept him asleep in his bedroom, hoping that a miracle would happen to wake their son.  Despite the prince now being asleep for a month at this point you were still employed to clean his room everyday; ridding it of any dust that may have formed. 

You could not quite say what overcame you whenever you where in there, but it felt as if a supernatural force, a spirt perhaps was pushing you towards the slumbering prince. Maybe it was the spirt of the sleeping prince. You normally never obeyed the pull, but today either your will was weaker or the spirt was stronger.

You let yourself be pulled to stand besides the bed the prince laid on. As you looked down at the face you had grown to love and missed a thought what whispered into your mind; Kiss him. It felt almost as if the same spirt dragging you towards the price planted that thought into your mind. You thought the idea over, no one would ever know if you did and maybe, just maybe it would wake him. The idea of you a peasant being his love seems absurd but you could hope you were wrong. 

Giving into the spirts request you leaned down to place a soft kiss onto the sleeping princes lips with a pink face. When your lips touched his it felt as if sparks formed. You pulled away, hopeful eyes watching the prince. After about a minute and Thranduil showing no sighs of waking you gave up and returned to your chores. 

You began dusting off a wardrobe only to hear a groan and ruffling of sheets behind you. You looked behind you to be overwhelmed with shock and happiness; Thranduil had woken up. You ran to the prince and hugged him, not caring if you would be punished or possibly killed. 

Thranduil chucked as he wrapped his arms around you. “Took you long enough, I thought you would never kiss me.” Thranduil teased being his usual playful self as if nothing happened. 

“Took me long enough- wait! You were the spirt I kept feeling.” You exclaimed. Thranduil nodded his head a grin on his face. “Does that mean.. you love me?” You asked putting the pieces together. Thranduil nodded his head again watching you with amused eyes as you starred at him in shock.

“I think since you took so long, you owe me another kiss  would’t you say.” The prince teased caused your cheeks to be tainted pink. Before you could think of a response Thranduil pulled you into a love filled kiss. 

Soon you both pulled away In need of air both flaunting love sick grins. “Now can we get some water? You have no idea how thirsty I am, I mean its been a month.” Thranduil joked. 

“Sure. lets just hope there is no potion in it this time.” You joked while giggling. 

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Commissions are OPEN!

How will I be doing this?

I’m doing commissions! This is how I will be doing it: You can send a request for a one-shot, preference or a matchup (pricing will be below) to my inbox. Depending on how many I will receive I won’t be able to start writing them at the same time, but once I do start writing your request I will send you a message, and then you can pay me before-hand. No matter how reliable you are, you will have to pay me before-hand, because I don’t want to risk me working hard on a request and then not getting paid for it when that was the deal.

When I start working on your request I will send you my account number so you can transfer the money to me.

Read my Rules (link in bio) to see what I will and will not write. Remember that I am still allowed to turn down a request if I don’t feel like writing it (obviously I will tell you this before you pay me).


One-shot ($10,00):

  • You can put in as many details as you like, as long as you still give me the creative freedom to turn it into a story. What I mean by that is that you have to make sure that your request does not make up the whole story, because then I won’t be able to write anything.

Preference ($4,00 - $6,00):

  • 3 - 4 characters will cost $4,00
  • 5 - 6 characters will cost $6,00
  • If you request more than 6 characters the price will change depending on the amount of characters you request, this will be discussed one I message you.

Matchup ($5,00 - $10,00):

  • A normal matchup will look like this and costs $5,00
  • A special matchup will look the same +  a short drabble on how you two met and costs $10,00
  • Please specify whether you want a normal of a special matchup.


Because I need to message you, it’s important that when you send in a request you don’t go anonymous. I will not judge you for what you want me to write. If you don’t want me to tag your username/publicly post your ask when posting your request you can tell me, I will simply post the request without your username and then send you a message.

If you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask!

- Moony

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“I know this is war, Thorin.” Bilbo looked furious, enraged in a way they’d seldom seen him but for when he’d shown up at their tent with the Arkenstone in tow, his mouth set in a hard line, the stone worth more than his life clutched in the soot-stained confines of his shaking hands. “Kíli knows what he’s doing. Have a little faith.”

“He’s a child.”

“And you raised him.” Bilbo said, level and firm and unmoving. “Didn’t you?”

Oakenshield’s gaze hardened. “The toughest of warriors from the fields of battle can falter when it comes to writing of a calculated peace after the bloodshed. Trained as he may be in the ways of war, he knows nothing of mediation and measured dialogue but the few council meetings he sat in on back at Ered Luin.” He shook his head, and the braid swung once, twice, a half more before settling back into the roaring crests and troughs of his hair. “It’s not enough.”

Bilbo’s lip curved into a hateful little sneer, mirth and rage and disgust all warring for dominance upon the shadowed angles of his face. He leaned forward in his chair, testily, harshly, angrily; the expression he wore was terrible, in every possible sense of the word. “The rightful King Under the Mountain himself was birthed from the throes of adversity. Give him some leeway, Thorin. He happens to be your own flesh and blood.”

“That was a necessity.” Oakenshield bit back instantly, the heavy rings on his fingers glittering as his hands made an aborted movement, like he’d slam them on the table if only he wasn’t wary of what Bilbo would say if he did. “I did not choose to have the crown passed on to me that early.”

Bilbo leered at him, all teeth, all fury. “And you think he did?”

“He had you.” Oakenshield snarled, eyes as blue as the ice that dangled from cracked boughs far, far up north, when winter began to swoop in and wrap everything in her way in the malicious embrace of her spidery arms. The line of his jaw stood out sharp and piercing as he grit his teeth, visibly swallowing down the odious spew of rotting anguish and putrid agony from within. His voice shook when he spoke, the mighty king of legend, cut down by the blade of the dead and dying, cursed for eternity to sit by a pool of wealth and hate the reflection of the man that looked back at him from the surface of the ever-rippling gold. It was a pitiful sight. “You— you should have known better than to let him do that.” Oakenshield cleared his throat, visibly reigning in his self in a manner so formal and controlled, it reminded Thranduil of his own court sessions when he was Legolas’ age. “You should’ve made sure he didn’t take any arbitrary actions on his own.”

THE ART OF NOT KNOWING: Durin blue, Elven silver [chapter five, now updated]

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Humans are weird, Middle-earth edition… again. Human tendency to adopt fucking anything, even if it’s dangerous.

Tilda: Ada!
Thran: Yes?
Tilda: Da says I have to ask you if I can bring Eivor with me next time I visit.
Thran: Who is Eivor?
Tilda: My pet warg!
Thran: … your… pet… warg?
Tilda: Yeah!!! He was just a tiny lil cub when I found him and he couldn’t walk because his paw was all burnt, but I took him home and Sigrid helped me heal him and-
Thran: *staring at Tilda as she prattles on about raising a vicious warg*

Bain, in a letter to Thran: Da says I need to get your permission to bring Ragnarok with me to the next meeting. That’s my pet spider. He’s totally tamed and really, really chatty and-
Thran: *staring at the letter in mute horror*
Thran’s concerned letter to Bard: Why does our son have a GIANT ELF AND MAN EATING SPIDER AS A PET?!?!
Bard’s reply: Ragnarok’s great!! Was terrifying to get used to at first, but he’s pretty chill and he has some of the best advice, honestly!!

Sigrid: Ada! Really glad I caught you before you returned to the Greenwood. Have to ask, can I bring Magni on my next visit?
Thran: … who is Magni?
Sigrid: *holding up a tiny, baby dragon* Isn’t he just precious?!?! Thorin and the others found his egg when they were searching through Smaug’s treasures and I managed to rescue the egg before they smashed it! Isn’t he so cute?!?!?
Thran: … that. is. a. dragon!
Sigrid: He is my son!!
Magni: *coughing fire*
Sigrid: ^_^

Estel: Ada!
Elrond, doing paperwork: Yes, Estel?
Estel, holding up a baby wolf wrapped in bandages and looking pathetic: Can I keep him?!?!
Elrond: Keep wh- is that a wolf?!
Estel: Yeah!! I found him by the river and he was all hurt!! I wrapped the bandages just as you showed me and-
Wolf: *whining*
Elrond: … *stares at the wolf as Estel prattles on about his ‘heroic’ rescue* GLORFINDEL! WEREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING ESTEL?!
Glorfindel, yelling from another room: We’re playing hide and seek!! Don’t tell him where I am!!!
Elrond: !!!

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