#tiffa | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

funeralroach · 4 months

Text

On the 20th of December 2023, my dearly beloved dog, a companion, a best friend and an anchor to help me keep on living; Tiffa was euthanized in the age of 15 years.

On all other aspects possible...including her senses, her diet, her heart and organs alike she was perfectly fine, but to quote the vet "if nothing else gets them, old age wear out will."

Her joints were giving out and it was causing her an unspeakable amount of pain. She was given a shot which reduced her pain receptors from signaling her body and she was prescribed with a daily pain killer to alleviate her suffering for the time being but it was becoming increasingly obvious that her time was coming to an end despite my best efforts.

The most difficult part for me about it personally was being in charge of the metaphorical guillotine which I was to pay for in order to end the life of my best friend. She appeared and generally behaved as though she was no older than a 5 year old dog. She would run around, she would jump around ,she would bark and play and eat and drink and respond to her name but. It was an accumulation of little things.

She would not be able to make as sharp turns in the narrower parts of the apartment any longer, her paws would not be able to handle the same arctic weather as she used to just a year ago, she would wish to make her walks shorter by turning around and head home sooner than before, she would get exhausted quicker, she would be panting more, she wouldn't let me clip her nails or brush her fur.

All of these things I regarded as mere old age pickiness or sass perhaps. She knew her boundaries and i wished to respect them.

I could not fathom that these were the indicators of death approaching when it wasn't as visibly obvious. But the more I looked at her and the more I spoke about it the clearer it became.

During the euthanizing itself I was very fortunate to be allowed to spend as much time with the corpse as I wished after her heart had stopped. I stood around the operation table and I felt her over numerous times from head to toe taking in the subtle changes of her life having vanished from this body. She was incredibly light in comparison to before. She wasn't tense in the slightest any longer. Her tongue and gums begun to turn purple, she began to grow colder, her bladder gave out, her eyes were no longer retaining moisture. And I was very very glad that I was able to internalize these changes so I could fully process that she was no longer here.

And after leaving the veterinarian office I began to count days and weeks and mentally visualize the various stages of decomposing that were taking place and frankly now that we're at a point in which I know her body has fully turned to liquid, leaving nothing but her bones behind I feel more at ease.

I feel that theres nothing left for her body to go through.

I miss her so severely and will forever continue to, but im glad her suffering has come to an end and that i could ensure it was as painless as possible.

#funeral talks #tiffa #animal death

4 notes · View notes

dosisdeii · 2 months

Text