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me-uglypretty · 3 months

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One of the best prank ever

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Summary: Yelena and Kate fools Peter into a web of lies that eventually creates something more than a mischievous prank. [Loosely based on this incorrect quotes]

Warning: 18+ (G), fake relationships, comedy, pranks, fluff | Word count: 2.9k

| Remember, they’re married! | Notify | Navigation |

A joke was uttered harmlessly into the pleasant space, materialized at a whim, and evolving into something hazardously serious. It was that, neither of them would come to discover who was to blame for such a disobedient indication. If not for the known existence of two culprits, already pattering of their next move, tarnishing what peace that once held—which havoc was meant for outside threats, thus, less nuisance was applauded—and the ones who oath to mischiefs tendencies. An unlikely duo at first glance and the absolute roar of chaos together; Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop.

And alike brilliant ideas, it had begun from a harmless observation. Though, it wasn’t the two friends, a renowned spy, and a witty archer, it was another who had awakened such impish ideas in the head of such operations. It was that voice, an adolescent boy, chattering away cluelessly and who had uttered;

“I saw Natasha in the training room before I came here. She was training with Y/n again— I mean, not in the again, like uh that’s bad, but the— sorry, they’re always training together! They’re such good friends. I like seeing them together, it’s just like me and Ned! We always do things together…our bond is that strong.”

Peter Parker was always mindful of those around, reasonable as he speaks and caring as he offers support without expecting for something in return. He was the youngest among the two friends, often confiding them of his adventures as Spiderman and his ordinary life or merrily gushing about something in the compound. Those known to his behaviour, doesn’t consider more than a young boy’s excitement of working with the Avengers which electrifying high has yet to diminish from his mind.

“I saw them sharing lunch too. But Ned doesn’t really share, he says he will, then he ends liking the food he didn’t order so I end up eating the food that he doesn’t like but ordered…” Peter continued, retelling another tale of his friend from outside the hero business.

He visits the pair occasional, mostly when he had time to spare, since the heavy load of starting university and extended time spend swinging around the neighbourhood. Similarly, they were three the youngest in training and felt more correlating with the other as compared to the older members. If the pair wasn’t there, he occupies his time pestering Tony or exhausting himself with training which had led him to his current position in the kitchen. An hour of training later and he was eager to satiate his hunger.

Yelena and Kate were intently listening to Peter’s usual rambles or more so, exceedingly interested in watching him use his webs to gather ingredients for his sandwich while they sat there, eating their mundane made bowls of cereal. Nods of interest was shared at the one side conversation, till that bubble was popped by Peter’s spike in narration about the two former spies of opposing countries and their incredibly treasured friendship.

His tone resonates of something remarkable about witnessing you and Natasha training together and the murmurs of almost never seeing you both apart. Natasha and Y/n are always together, Peter had acknowledged, tumbling upon more story of the two spies together and the honourable mentions of his own friendship.

At that notable realisation, an idea surface brashly in Yelena’s mind, blossoming sweetly in her broad mind as her lips curls brazenly with a smile at the prospering idea. Peter’s unintentional nature of oversharing at times instigated troubles while some rare moments, a blessing for those around, and it was the sole reason for the fuelling ideas in her head. Those that pleads for her to listen and martialize vague thoughts into brilliant reality, and with that—a story far less innocence than a scene of two friends training together, spending endless time together, and just the idea of them together.

Yelena performed first, conveying the look of disapproval by the shake of her head. Blonde tresses budge at the motion, tickling her cheeks as she brushes strands of her hair away. “Oh no, Peter Parker,” her voice dropped, eyebrows furrowed, and arms crossed, as if contemplating on disclosing a crucial information. “No,” she dragged the word, staring at him like he had candidly shared a confidential information.

This was it, the perfect opportunity, that seldom occasion that roused gleefully in Yelena’s favour and she cherish it, accepting the gracious chance happily. Despite the distinct warnings echoing her head. The voice of her sister, Natasha, taunts her mind with an intimidating glare set on her form and the scolding heard from various voices after. However, the golden opportunity had appeared suddenly, and it offered her a chance of an adventure to prank merrily and verbalizing funny jokes, sometimes far too dangerous too. Yelena rather partakes in activities that wasn’t projected upon her life by other, and enjoy the taste of freedom with it.

It was that, the sweet joy derived from stolen childhood, and the American dream, like those shown on television.

On the other end, Kate was situated in a conflicted position. She wasn’t aware of her friend’s noiseless scheming. Confusion swirls tiresome ideas in her mind at Peter’s tales, the questions of why was stuck at the tip of her tongue, till her gaze flickers to her friend. Those ardent eyes swims in hues of hazel and gleams gleefully, eyebrows quirks and lips pressed together, translating to none other than the common expression of trouble.

The same look that illustrated their ultimate trademark as mischiefs or troublemakers as Clint had proposed, still fuming in annoyance and tired at the unlikely duo of friends.

Conveniently, their shared moniker symbolised the start of their hectic friendship which ensued after the success of their first operation coded as Hawk and Sparks. An apparent dazzling prank involving radiantly colourful glitters and Clint’s most priced weapons, his beloved pair of bow and arrows. The foremost comedic performance or perhaps, scary, depending on who you asked—corresponding to Kate’s rational fear of inciting resentment from her idol and partner—was the exaggerated appearance of said hero’s threatening weapons. A bow glazed in glitters of various hues and each arrow adorned with a specific colour of glitter.

Despite the enrage brought devastatingly upon Clint, the enemies were apprehended swiftly from their bewildered seconds of weakness at witnessing Hawkeye tugging at his weapon and revealing such glowing equipment. It wasn’t the least bit intimidating when sparkling weaponries was their hostile warning.

The wondrous duo of Yelena and Kate, somehow, and frequently, find themselves tangled in one mess after another. It seemed as if, trouble appears on a gleaming golden platter for their joyous consumption.

Only to them, and only for them.

Kate sighed, half concern by the erupt exchange and half struggling to imitate Yelena’s expression. Acting and pretending wasn’t her expertise. “Yeah, very bad,” she pushed, cheeks puffed, and her arms crossed at the scene unfolding before her curious eyes.

It was once terrifying to not know of her friend’s scheming, specifically for someone who had habitually found herself in compromising situations, Yelena’s influence had undoubtedly brewed confidence from being an accomplice to her friend’s ideas. At the stage of their friendship, worry doesn’t itch her throat as she continued her performance to invoke the best realistic lies at every spoken word.

The two friends wordlessly collaborated for their present plan or more so, the inevitable prank, by gazing into each other eyes, the gleaming sort of difference between two, and only known to them as their anticipating mischief. Other had seen this. Peter had watched the scene of them, he was watching them, the exchange and the revelation that came after. Worry looms over him at his friends’ expression. His eyebrow twitches, brains pulling at each thread to recall the decisions he made within the last twenty-four hours.

Peter doesn’t reconsider anything else than something he had done. It must had been his fault. He was different like that, so unlike them. Always genuinely polite, and naturally attentive to conversation. Aunt May taught him the best manners which he promised to preserve. The friendly pose he exhibits was always prominent, either as an average boy or a crime fighting hero, and accurately credited as the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.

“What’s wrong? What did I do? Please, I can fix it,” Peter expressed worriedly, fingers drumming nervously on the surface of the grey marble counter. His hunger forgotten as he wondered if the kitchen was always unpleasantly humid, the kind of heat that scorches through his suit and formulate a layer of sweat on his skin, or perhaps, his body was simply steaming from feeling anxious.

Yelena surveyed the scene first. “Do you not know?” she asked, feigning disbelief as she steps warily into his space and pressed her hand firmly on his shoulder.

Peter denied, shaking his head at the supposed information, and sharing a look of nervous between the pair. “It’s bad, isn’t it? It’s about Tony, isn’t it? He thinks of me as too much of a son so he doesn’t want me here anymore.”

The ambitious performance halted at such unexpected revelation. Kate’s eyebrows furrowed as her mouth parted in utter shock, and Yelena remained standing there, both glancing at the other, sharing the same perplexed look at their friend’s fumbling state. Kate mouthed something along the line of, “Daddy issues,” and Yelena nodded her head hastily. “So weird,” she had responded in a similar manner.

Pausing for few seconds, Yelena interjected Peter’s tormented mumblings. “No, no, he doesn’t know!” she makes a clicking sound after, her crimson tongue tapping at the roof of her mouth. She wordlessly announced her exit with a final squeeze of her hand over his shoulder and turning away from his doe eyes.

“Wait!”

A smile curls on her lips, kind of worrisome look for those aware of her brashness. Delight stirs in her chest at her quick-witted scheming. Yelena swiftly spins, immediately masking her pleasure with a miserable frown, aiding to her performance and agony that looms on the poor boy’s hunch posture.

Peter fumbled with his agile fingers, pressing them together on the marble counter. It was a stark contrast from his pale skin to the grey shade, then he stared at it enough to agitate himself into clasping his hands together. Ultimately, his arms fell entirely to his side with a defeated sigh. “Please tell me what’s wrong. I will fix it. I swear,” he promised, and instantly stumbled backward into a stool behind him, Yelena’s swift reflex halted his embarrassing fall. “Sorry, sorry, and thank you…” he shyly scratched the nape of his neck, a red rash appearing at the nervous impulse.

Yelena released an exceptionally long sigh and nodded her head, staring ahead at Peter. “Follow me, Spider-man,” she demanded, promptly taking the steps aways from the kitchen.

There, head of blonde locks bounces to a familiar tune that buzzes at her mumbling, and something that sparked Kate’s mind into trying to remember the song. All while Peter trails behind the two friends quietly. The two friends were discreetly observing their surrounding for any sort of unexpected guest or disruption, and exchanging a pleasant nod with the other at their current prank.

Offices and vacant rooms were insignificant as they passed each one, before standing across the merge of two heavy metal doors. It led to an extensive training room, equipped with various gym equipment and an area for sparring. Out of the three, Kate advanced forward, warily peeking through the rectangle window situated on each side of the door. She met sight of the two occupants, former assassins huffing and exerting their strength by sparring together. Both were completely unaware of prying eyes outside or Peter’s feet anxiously tapping the ground, each struck of noise echoes through the hallway.

Natasha was standing in the middle of the navy-coloured rubber mat, graciously shifting between her bare feet, fists raised securely, and an arrogant smirk curls on her lips. It takes a moment, two bodies round the other, before she swiftly pushed you down with a loud thud. Muddled chuckles was heard soon after. A victorious smile appeared on Natasha’s face while you had scoffed, shaking your head at your defeat, then a smile sneaks onto your face as Natasha uttered something.

It was enough proof for Kate to shift her gaze, meeting Yelena’s awaiting answer and nodding her head in confirmation.

Yelena takes the same steps forward, facing the opposite window from her friend. She leisurely taps the glass with her knuckles. “You see them, yes?”

Faith seems eager by her side, easily following through her plan, when they witness Natasha extending her hand towards you. Unexpectedly, your body plummet into Natasha’s body when you had lost your balance, and she swiftly held you, bodies pressed flushed together. The sheer seconds where eyes met, the undivided attention, the touch of skin, the hands that grasps the other, the corners of full lips lifting with a smile, the shared clumsiness which made those smiles widen. It was the perfect moment.

Yelena beams at the sight. She was witnessing you and Natasha like this, so foolishly relaxed, so easily drawing into her plan like there was an understanding on the extend of where her ideas went.

Peter’s eyes widen more after witnessing the exchange. “Yes— I mean, I guess-- they’re really good friends?”

His innocent perception of such scene had nearly influenced her decision from continuing with her vicious plan. Those doe eyes, high-pitched voice, and legs alike a new born reindeer, tripping with his steps or simply falling into her mischief plotting. It almost urges her intuition to end her plan, dust her shoulder off that mischief dirt, and move forward with a different kind of plan which will surely be another prank.

Almost, that word bears a hefty weight, and Yelena is far stronger than some word.

“You are so wrong. Kate Bishop, tell Spider-man that he’s wrong!” she waved her hand, emphasising the mistake made by the boy, and her friend speedily agreed. Both mirrored the look of disappointment to abet their narrative.

“No! I can’t mess this up.” Peter whined, feeling apprehensive at the possibility of being rejected as an Avenger. One mistake and it’s enough to end everything. He can’t afford that.

Kate, the overly compassionate friend between the two, hurriedly comforted him. “Okay, calm down. Peter, everything will be fine,” she verbalized softly, and taking into consideration of his hyperventilating as her hand pressed firmly on his shoulder. “Let’s listen to what Yelena has to say, okay?” she proposed as she discreetly sends a pointed look at her friend.

Out of everything that Kate had learned, either willingly or unwillingly, on the topic surrounding Yelena—the most palpable trait of her friend was her constant desire to dramatized situations with the ultimate purpose of agitating said person. She had mentioned once or twice of how it was amusing to witness people stir by the simple work of her words. However, Kate isn’t too keen about it, the first time she experienced still instigates a chilly feeling over her body.

Yelena groaned at her friend. “Fine. Ugh, so impatient.”

Before disclosing what was presumed as the most significant information, Yelena crossed her arms and straightened her posture, she spared one last look through the window where her sister was training with her partner. Muffled thuds could be heard, then the nervous tapping of Peter’s feet and Kate’s jacket rustling at each movement as she attentively surveys their surroundings.

“They are not friend, Peter Parker.”

The declaration was clear. It wasn’t alarming or thrilling, perhaps, it sparked more confusion than worry on the gullible boy. Peter’s eyes, wide and bleary, darts between the two friends to ensure those words were the climax of a finality that caused him stress. Kate answered his unspoken questions with a lenient nod of her head, enough motion for her brunette hair to drape around her face and shield herself from revealing her lack of understanding on Yelena’s plan, and another, revealing the truth to Peter.

“They are married. Natasha and Y/n are married.”

Kate gasped, slender fingers drawing her hair away like pulling apart curtains, and revealing her expression, mouth gaping and eyes wide open. Two stunned faces stared at Yelena’s knowing façade. The new information was unexpected to them, neither assuming anything close to this.

Your friendship with Natasha was familiar to everyone, one always helping the other and working together fluidly. Marriage, however, wasn’t something that would have been a conclusion to the close relationship.

“Unless you are married to your best friend,” Yelena spoke teasingly, her forefinger pointed at the pair then meeting Peter’s eyes, he denied with flushed cheeks. “They are very close, not like friends...but as a married couple,” she added, nodding her head approvingly at the statement.

They glanced into the training room where you were playfully pushing Natasha’s shoulder as she retaliated with a harsher push. Still, all so unaware of the declared marriage to each other.

With that, the start of a harmless joke turned into a thriving prank by the marvellous mind of Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop.

The mischief duo, after subsiding Peter’s worry, had spent hours narrowing down the best name for their plan. It was accordance to what Yelena had argued as the best, what Kate presume was easier to remember, and the final that would be deemed as; one of the best prank ever.

#remembertheyremarried #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #yelena belova x reader #kate bishop x reader

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luxthestrange · 1 year

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RoR Incorrect quotes#85 Mama Bear

Now All...Imagen that In the fight between Zeus and Adam was switched last minute to you and Zeus

Zeus: It’s useless to win!*Manages to throw a punch to your face*

As you create a magic barrier to lessen the blow you still fly off to have your body smack against the arena walls, As Eve tries to hold Adam back...Eve watches in horror as your body lays on the ground coughing blood

Eve*Pupils dilate like an ACTIVATED JASON BOURNE and she hears “KILL BILL” music in her head as your eyes managed to look at hers*Myyyyy…. Sweeeeet…. BaaabBBBYY! Hermes*Spotting her from the other side of the ring* She seems agitated?-

Eve jumps into the arena, grabs the back of Zeus' head SLAMS them to the ground...SHOCKING EVERYONE in the arena...EVEN CAIN AND ABEL...Minus Adam who is clapping in support at his wife, A random God who was put to take out anyone who interferes with the fight goes to Eve- MinorGod: Do not defy me-*Is impaled in the chest by Eve's hand as he feels his heart being ripped by her* Eve: I AM EVE- MOTHER OF HUMANITY! LOOK UPON ME IN FEARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!*bounces the heart into her purse and swings her colorful purse around like a gunslinger*

More of the minor gods of the Greek pantheon charge her and SHE RIPS INTO THEM! She DECAPITATES them and goes ON AN ALL-OUT RAMPAGE- She charges at a TERRIFIED Zeus. She makes fighting grunts and growls as she beats the SNOT of them, But Zeus was about to turn around to run-

Zeus*Feels Eve grabbed his legs and swung him around till she throws him towards the gods*No! She’s grown too powerful! Please! PLEASE! AUGHHHHHHHHH!- She slices and Dices thru the gods! She jumps on another god and slices their face causing blood to spray onto her UNBLINKING FACE She jumps on another AND RIDES THEM LIKE A HOVERBOARD! As she HOLDS A “BLEEDING” HEAD OF A GOD RIGHT AT CAMERA Eve: YeeeAAARRGHHHH!!!!*flies about the air, slicing warrior gods in half left and right! A splatter of blood hits You, Cain, and Abel as Adam hugs you three like a bloodstain from a horror movie, You and Humanity+Valkyries watch your mother in still fear Zeus: NO! The reckoning is at hand!

youtube

...Adam WAS the first to witness...how Eve threw under all her sweetness and wholesomeness...lies a bear NO ONE should poke if she senses her babies are in danger...He ALMOST pity's the gods...

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the-thursday · 1 month

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Hello everyone, this post was long overdue, and finally, prompted by our beloved Howls also leaving, it's time for me to rip off the bandaid as well.

I would also like to announce a sort of departure from Ranger's apprentice fandom.

I do not know how many from RA fandom era from few years back are still here but I assume mostly newer blogs keep up with this account.

Take a lil history walk with me, if you will. I joined this fandom around 2017-18. I was very active around here, posting all kinds of stuff, fics, takes, incorrect quotes, art and whatnot. I made many friends with whom I had a great time and I am happy and honoured that I am friends with some of them till this day. Fandom became the second home to me as things hadn't been exactly easy irl and maybe I fixated on it too much, but gods know I loved this place so much. And I wish for everyone to experience this happiness and just as I made friends who became a significant part of my life, I wish that for you as well. Being surrounded by amazing and wonderful people and sharing similar interests is one of the most pure joyous feelings in this world.

As 2020-2021 rolled around, some of you know that things in my life picked up a harsh pace and I started to drift away. In 2021 I left the fandom because of that and unpleasant things with one of the people here. It was one of the most gut wrenching decisions I had made.

In 2022, I started gradually getting worse, but also had the courage to come back at the end of the year. I felt happy and welcomed and I am so grateful to everyone who made it happen, who supported me and gave me another breath. My mental health kept getting worse but I wasn't alone and that has been everything to me.

Now it's about a little more than a year since I've been back and again, I've met wonderful amazing people who I am happy and honoured to call friends. I don't regret coming back and I am happy I did, however I think it's time for me to go again. And below, I hope to explain why.

Like I said, I've been getting worse. Last autumn and this winter have been very difficult for me and I had to rethink some priorities, as life is going on the time left for me to invest in fandoms is getting thinner and thinner. Unfortunately, among them, isn't keeping up with this fandom. With my next words I hope not to insult anyone. The truth is, I don't find enjoyment in the fandom and content itself anymore, or more like, as much as I used to. I don't exactly vibe with posts for roughly the past half a year and I don't mean this in negative way, I just think it's for me to move on. All of the new people that I've seen have wonderful content and while I don't exactly vibe like I used to, I can see that you're having fun and that's important! People come and go and I do wish all the newcomers and seniors who are still here to have a great time, but I don't think I have energy, capacity and vibes to be part of it anymore. As you know, my blog has been very much inactive for a long time, aside from dumping my dumb sketches or reblogging something here and there. And rather than letting it rot, I'd like to cleanly move on. Anyhow, on self deprecating note, since really it's not like I've been someone prominent I don't think this is a loss to the fandom and this makes it easier for me.

So to summarise, my leaving is about personal things, my life moving and the fact I don't have the mental capacity or motivation to actively keep up.

So what does this mean? I won't be posting RA related stuff on this blog anymore. This blog will turn into a neutral main blog and I'll create one side blog for art that I hope to continue to make and maybe one blog dedicated to the work of Brandon Sanderson.

However, it doesn't mean that I am not up to goof around about RA anymore, however this will be done in DMs. If I sometimes get to draw and post RA related art, it shall be posted on my new art blog with RA tag. However, I don't think there's a high probability of public RA art from me anymore, because 1) need to move on and 2) I have a very strong and maybe confrontational opinion about art in this fandom that has given me a bad taste and discouraged me from enjoying making it and posting it. I won't go into details because I don't want to sour this post for myself and for y'all with it.

I want to thank this fandom for everything it has been for me and for everyone and I wish y'all some happy fandoming!

Yours only,

The Ranger Thursday 11

#rangers apprentice #final goodbye

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octopiys · 11 months

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Hi again friend! I’m glad you’re liking my quotes. I have two this time!

“Depression is kicking my ass more than my mother ever could”

“You don’t know true terror till you almost send your parent gay porn”

If you ever get bored of my quotes don’t hesitate to say so, I don’t want to bother you. Have a good time zone friend!

🪶

No worries at all anon I love the quotes :D hope you're having an awesome timezone!

Incorrect CoD as Quotes(OR things my friends have said)

Soap, tearing into the room: GAZ-

Gaz: wh? Hello? What happened to knocking?

Soap: doesn't matter, hide me!

Gaz: oh fuck no, I'm not doing that again, you know how terrifying Ghost was when he-

Soap: you don't know true terror until you almost send your captain gay porn, hide me!

Gaz:

Gaz: you almost WHAT

Los Vaqueros and TF-141 after celebrating a successful mission :

Alejandro: you know, Ghost....

Ghost:

Alejandro: the first time I met you, I thought you were gay

Rodolfo: was.... was that an unspoken thing?

Gaz: we haven't talked about that?

Soap: YOU ARE????

Nikolai: don't freak out, it's okay, he already saw my boobs on the bus!

Price: ohhh Simon I forgot how good of a bitch you could be-

Roach: don't worry guys, the guy of all time has arrived!!

Price, playing minecraft, speaking to villagers: can you have babies so I can kidnap them?

Laswell: John what the f-

Alejandro, watching the 141 "train": what are they... even doing?

Rodolfo: they're like prehistoric planet.

Alejandro:

Rodolfo: we don't know much about them.

Soap: so my senior prank was filling up a staircase with balloons.

Soap: and one girl opened the doors and let all of them out by walking through it.

Soap: so next year I think we should do it again

Soap: but with lasers.

König: I made a bet with God at aquatica!

Roach: ???

König: he said no.

Graves: in God we trust. Hoo rah.

Alejandro: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE-

Alex: I made a dick joke and Ghost just stared at me.

Alex: I'm... not actually sure what to do now.

Soap: well you know what they say, when life gets rough-

Ghost: depression is kicking my ass more than my father ever could.

Soap:

Soap: okay, I feel like ye should really see someone for that

Gaz: is he white? Cus if he is, then we don't have that in common.

Rodolfo: I'm pretty sure that kid just called you a bitch in four different languages.

Valeria:

Price: nothing says team bonding like getting secondhand high!

Laswell: JOHN

Price: IT WASNT MY FAULT-

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icycoldninja · 2 months

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The Turks incorrect quotes

Reno: You’re not jealous, are you? Rude: No! Reno: Good, ‘cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.

Elena: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart? Tseng: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am! Elena: Mean.

Tseng: Did you like the food I made? Elena: No, not really. Tseng: But I put my heart and soul into it! Elena: No wonder it tastes so cold and dead.

Reno: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

Rude: Tseng likes to win. When he was 8, a little Club Scout friend of his bragged she could sell the most cookies. Rude: Damned if Tseng didn't walk the neighborhood till he got blisters on his feet, and won by 10 boxes. Rude: Best part is, Tseng wasn't even a Club Scout.

Reno: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

Reno, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? Reno: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… Tseng: It was you the fuck. Reno: It was I the fuck… Rude: Who cooks rice in a pan? Tseng: He the fuck.

Reno: Any questions? Rude: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Reno: Uh, a plan, duh… Elena: Rude, chill, I know it’s weird, but Reno has a point. Rude: Rude: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

Tseng: If there are no questions, we’ll move on to the next chapter. Rude: I have a question. Tseng: Certainly, Rude. What is it? Rude: What’s the point of human existence? Tseng: I meant any questions about the subject at hand. Rude: Oh. Rude: Frankly, I’d like to have the issue resolved before I expend any more energy on this.

Reno: Anything else? Rude: Yeah. Stay away from me! Reno: Alright. See you in the room we share.

Reno: I’m sorry, I really flew off the handle back there. It was like the handle was a bald guy going really fast, and I was his toupée.

Rude: What's the most efficient way to burn calories? Tseng: Exercise more! Reno: Set yourself on fire. Elena: There are two kinds of people.

Elena: Come to think of it… You’ve always been nice to me. Elena: I mean, you listen to all my problems- Tseng: No, Elena I just simply stand here while you talk, there’s a big difference.

Tseng: Guys where did Reno go? Elena: He got arrested. Tseng: How the hell- Reno: bursts in through the window The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

Reno: Shut up, you’re messing with my train of thought! Tseng: I thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?

Elena: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Tseng: AS ENEMIES?! Elena:

Reno: Tseng, you need to react when people cry! Tseng: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends. Rude: Which one? I have seven. Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up. Rude: Which one? I have seven. Reno, distantly: HEY!!!

Reno: Come on, you need to go to bed. Tseng: Mr. Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. And that you need to die! Reno: … Reno: What the hell, Mr. Snuffles—

Tseng: Oh, they left the bowl out? Tseng: It says, “Take two pieces of candy.” Reno: Nobody around though… Reno grabs the entire bowl and runs off with it Tseng: NO—

#Ffvii #Ff7 #final fantasy vii #Final fantasy 7 #The turks #reno of the turks #elena of the turks #rude of the turks #tseng of the turks #Tseng ff7 #Rude ff7 #Reno ff7 #Elena ff7 #The turks ff7 #Incorrect quotes #Lol #Funny

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endergirlplayz · 3 months

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it's friday.... tf2 stats time!

I was too exited to wait till later so we gonna do this now

Archimedies (I hope that's spelled right ,also Ive draw the bird so much he gets a Stat now) 4

Ms Pauling: 8

Demo: 10

Sniper : 13

Spy: 14

Heavy :17

Soldier : 19

Scout : 22

Medic : 27

Engi: 28

Pyro 39

So some personal thoughts on theese stats: I like drawing have now I blame the heavy tf2 person for it( skewing my statisics again smh /j (/pos))

Also I gotta draw demo more! If anyone has incorrect quote suggestions for demo lmk because for some reason I feel as tho I need an excuse to draw them .

Also I wasn't sure how to count the drawings that are just pyro and scouts hands, i did count them but you could make an argument that scouts score should be 21 and pyros should be 36.

#tf2 #ender draws stuff sometimes #tf2 fanart #tf2 medic #Tf2 stats #tf2 scout #tf2 spy #miss pauling #team fortress two #tf2 art #tf2 sniper #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 archimedes #tf2 engineer #tf2 pyro #tf2 soldier

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padawansuggest · 1 year

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Obi-Wan: *helps Jango climb the edge of a steep cliff face, ending up with them both in front of a pastel castle with a massive garden and rainbow birds flying around* Oh, wow.

Jango: *muttering* It’s like Barbie meets Wonderland.

Obi-Wan: Oh oh, you know those fantasy murals Master Fisto likes to paint on the walls outside his quarters that the other masters complain about but they can’t make him stop? It’s like one of those come to life.

Jango: I keep telling you, we didn’t grow up together!

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #incorrect star wars quotes #jango fett #kit fisto #lol kit is a troll but a good painter #Obi wan is a troll with amnesia and his memories are coming back in weird chunks #au idea: Obi wan gets amnesia and keeps making references to them growing up together #and no one can figure out why till it turns out Obi’s been having visions of him since tinyhood and they’re soulmates #lol I think that would be a hilarious plot idea of people constantly telling someone he’s got an unhealthy obsession with someone else #turns out nope lol it’s the force with that unhealthy obsession #Barbie meets wonderland would basically just be wonderland but more pink and sparkly

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mcyt-enthusiast · 1 year

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MCYT incorrect quotes my beloved:

Tango: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!

Tango: I'M GOING TO K-

Zedaph: I did?

Tango: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Zedaph.

*walking away*

Zedaph:

Zedaph: He's gone Impulse.

Impulse, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in his mouth: Twankh uh!

Jimmy: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Joey's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

Lizzie: Joel likes to win. When he was 8, a little Club Scout friend of his bragged that they could sell the most cookies.

Lizzie: Damned if Joel didn't walk the neighborhood till he got blisters on his feet, and won by 10 boxes.

Lizzie: Best part is, Joel wasn't even a Club Scout.

BDubs: What's the straightest thing you've ever done?

Etho: *sighs*

Etho: I killed a man.

Doc: You either buckle down and do your work or you'll end up at McDonalds.

BDubs: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work?

Doc: NO-

Doc: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?

Grian: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Scar, deer!"

Doc: ...And what did Scar do?

Grian: ...He said "Yes, Honey?"

Scott: I don't want to fight you!

Jimmy: I wouldn't want you to fight me either!

Teacher: Your child was in a fight.

Scar: Oh no, that's terrible!

Grian: Did they win?

Shelby: So, are you two friends?

Joey: Yes.

Katherine: No.

Jimmy: I'm in love with you.

Scott: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Jimmy: I know.

Scott: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Oli: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

Shelby: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Jimmy: Pfft, I don't have a crush on Scott I just think he's cool, it's not like I stay up at night thinking about him.

*Later that night*

Jimmy, very much awake: Uh oh.

Jimmy: Where is Tango?

Etho: I'll do you one better, who is Tango??

Scott: Here's a better question, why is Tango?

Xisuma: Y'know, maybe things aren't so bad. I'm here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.

Grian: Hey, Xisuma.

Xisuma: GODDAMNIT!

Mumbo: Did it hurt when you fell-

Grian: From heaven? Wow, I didn't think you were such a flirt-

Mumbo: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Grian: ...

Mumbo: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Tango: What's your biggest fear?

Mumbo: That I'll never be good enough for anyone.

Scar: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.

Grian: Zombies.

Mumbo: ...

Scar: ...

Grian: BUT they can open doors.

BDubs, rushing into the room: It's terrible, just terrible! I am so upset!

Impulse: BDubs, honey, sit down! Sweetheart, tell us all about it. Etho, would you get BDubs some water?

Etho: What is he gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, "Thank God, the water's here!"?

Tango: Jimmy likes to say 'you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,' but I happen to believe you can be both.

Ren: Where are you going?

Etho: Hell, eventually.

Lizzie: *Talking to Joel* Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Welcome to my abode. I'm glad you could join me.

FWhip: But this is my abode.

Lizzie: ...

Lizzie: Welcome to my abode, I'm so happy to have you, guest.

Impulse: I think we can all agree I'm the ten amongst these threes.

Jimmy, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?

Scott: *half asleep* Jimmy, this is a queen-sized bed. That means it's for *gestures vaguely to himself* queens.

BigB: Hey Cleo, can you give me the opposite of these words?

BigB: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

Cleo: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

Cleo: The satisfaction.

Martyn: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

Martyn: Hey, do you know the password to Cleo's computer?

Scott: Screw you, Martyn.

Martyn: Hey!!

Scott: No, you misunderstood, the password is "screwyouMartyn".

Martyn: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

Pearl: Real life should have a search function, or something.

Pearl: I need my socks.

FWhip: So you like cats?

Sausage: Yeah.

FWhip: *tries to impress him by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

FWhip: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Scott: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Jimmy: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Oli: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

Doc, about Etho: He's speaking some kind of French.

Ren: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

Impulse: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes?

Tango: Making four accounts.

Impulse, tearing up: Really...?

Jimmy: *yawns*

Scott: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Jimmy: Then you must be exhuasted.

Joey: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

Scar, to Mumbo: If BDubs doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.

BDubs, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Lizzie: Joel annoyed me today so I told him that I can't wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Gem: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Lizzie: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

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quitealotofsodapop · 5 months

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More incorrect quotes from the delightful @justweirddino

Organising these in a set so I respond to all of them, also I have the transcripts in the image descriptions.

Oh gosh so many to react to /pos

Macaque spent a lot of time either on the moon, in the Jade Palace, or in the wilds. He thinks Wukong's sense of enviromental hygiene is appaling for a monkey with his own treasury. Is def the one of the pair who starts organising/tidying up anywhere they go. Pigsy starts yelling like Gordon Ramsey if there's any mess in the kitchen or pantry area - chef habits.

2. Nezha mentions that he's part lotus around Sandy, and the big blue softy cant bring himself to eat lotus roots ever again. Wukong stayed vegan for a long time, but sometimes a monkey needs some protein. Macaque meanwhile has infact eaten other sapient beings, granted if they were already dead.

3. MK whenever they have to go somewhere vaguelly horrifying; "This Is fine." :) Can't wait till this little guy stumbles into Diyu.

4. Nezha holds the family braincell whenever Pigsy isn't available. I love how it's 100% in all their characters; Macaque would be the type to steal a car if it helped with the situation (no matter how petty). Wukong does not fear personal injury. And MK is basically a trash disposal unit when it comes to materials.

5. Wukong is 100% a "if my knee is gonna give me chronic pain, just amputate the leg"-kinda guy. Probably thinks its acceptable to take out your body parts for maintenace. He legit jokes about it during a Jttw chapter where he has to gut himself to show up some taoist priests.

6. Pigsy. Family braincell holder, and very tired of Wukong's nonsense.

7. It took Mei and MK a while to question anything in the TMKATI au. Mei chalked her comparatively dark complexion up to Macaque or Tang, and the scales and fire to whatever Big Bro Nezha was. Kid logic. There was def a period of time where Mei just knew she wa adopted, but the parents hadn't broken the news to her yet. It was an awkward conversation.

8. Erlang is stress incarnate. That third eye gives him images he does not want to see. Just radiates stress like a salt lamp. XD

9. Tbf we are talking about a manipulative murder monkey. MK introduces anyone to Macaque and it's like;

10. I don't know why, but I adore the idea of the Spider Gang post-S3 joining up with Red and the Demon Bull fam. Red probably admires Syntax's programming skills on the Spider-Bots, and offers him a job maintaining the Bull Clones... but DBK and Red are still a bit sore from New Years so they don't 100% trust or respect the spiders just yet. XD

Ty so much for sending these in! These weer really fun to read and to think about.

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wonder-worker · 3 months

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I really dislike (the second half of) David Baldwin's biography of Elizabeth Woodville, tbh. It's the first modern biography of her, and probably the most "academic" one out there till date, but it's unfortunately heavily flawed.

He takes Elizabeth and her family's "general unpopularity" as a given.

He wrote that after Edward IV's death, "Elizabeth allegedly urged Rivers to bring the young King to bring the young King to London as quickly as possible and with as large a force as he could muster...There can be no doubt that Elizabeth wished to see her son crowned before anything could frustrate it." In Baldwin's view, it's only after Hastings expressed reluctance that she decided to act as a "peacemaker" instead. How on earth is this any different from what Ricardians have said about Elizabeth during this time?

He claimed that after Richard of Gloucester seized 12-year-old Edward V - against his will, I might add - "The Woodvilles [Elizabeth and Dorset] tried, unsuccessfully, to raise an army to recover the initiative", referring to her unpopularity as a reason for why she wasn't successful, and incorrectly states that both Croyland and Mancini refer to this. They don't - only Mancini does. Croyland, on the other hand, does not write of any Woodville attempt to raise arms, but does write that after Elizabeth sought sanctuary, adherents gathered under Westminster "in the queen's name". Mancini presents Elizabeth as aggressive and unpopular, Croyland presents her as understandably worried and widely supported.

He believed that Elizabeth of York genuinely wanted to marry her brother-vanishing uncle Richard III and quoted George Buck's letter on this.

Even worse, claimed that Elizabeth Woodville "approved and encouraged" her daughter in this, because she was "cynically hoping that a marriage between King Richard and her daughter would restore her [meaning EW] to her position at the centre of affairs". Like. Do I really need to say anything?

And lastly, he believed that Elizabeth genuinely plotted against Henry VII and her own daughter in Simnel's Rebellion due to her own desire for power and prominence, along with "resentment" towards Margaret Beaufort, and was subsequently imprisoned and deliberately depowered for it.

While Baldwin certainly gives credit and sympathy to his subject, his biography of Elizabeth during Richard's usurpation and Tudor rule is effectively no different from the way Ricardians and other general histories write about her. He is inconsistent, objectively incorrect, and never once questions the blatantly propagandic narratives (both misogynistic and classist) that were spread about her. Some of the things he said about her in his book "The Kingmaker's Sisters" aren't expecially great either, but I'll leave those out for now.

Again - this is the most academic biography of Elizabeth till date, and this is the crap it said about her. That's literally how bad historical studies of her have been till date.

This epitomizes another problem I have with most - tbh, pretty much all - of Elizabeth's historians. They focus primarily on contradicting post-contemporary rumours and accusations about her (Thomas Cook, the queen's gold, the Earl of Desmond's death, etc). It's understandable to an extent: these are "safer", less contrary, less disruptive. They probably won't offend most of their readers. But when it comes to actual contemporary accusations? Every single historian till date has been utterly lacking and disappointing. This applies to both Warwick's rebellions and Richard III's usurpation. They never question the fundamental narrative of 1483. If they do focus on propaganda, it's the more overt ones (eg: Richard's letter accusing Elizabeth of treasonable necromancy). And even then, they never acknowledge - let alone emphasize - the true extent of what was said about her, and how much of it was very unprecedented when it came to queens.

The greatest irony is that it's two of Richard III's historians - Rosemary Horrox and A.J Pollard - who have done a better job highlighting the extent of Ricardian propaganda (reflected by Mancini, an innocent newcomer, who unknowingly painted Elizabeth and her family as aggressors and Richard as a victim of circumstance forced to defend himself). Of course, while Horrox and Pollard analyzed this mainly from Richard's perspective, with little attention given to Elizabeth herself, the mere acknowledgement is still somehow better than anything that any of Elizabeth's historians have ever done till date. That's a shame, tbh.

#elizabeth woodville #arlene okerlund's is better in the sense that she doesn't repeat such trash but hers is very generic and in some places equally frustrating #is routledge making a biography of her? I remember reading it somewhere but I've lost track...if they are I really hope it's good

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