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#tim and barry
ftl-faster-than-life · 5 months
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Honestly I think it’s so funny that in the Marvel universe, when someone’s really smart, they have like eight to twelve doctorates and they finished high school at age twelve.
And then over in the DC universe it’s like. This is Tim Drake. He’s a genius. He keeps cloning his loved ones. He dropped out of highschool. Over there is Barry Allen. He can reverse engineer a spaceship in less than a minute. He is such a good chemist he’s still going to be known as the best chemist in 4,000 years. He has a bachelor’s degree.
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frappegoddess · 1 month
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I originally said this in a reblog but, picture this
Bruce Wayne gets invited by BuzzFeed to read thirst tweets. They are all from his Justice League coworkers.
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Bruce, in a completely monotonous voice: @Superman says: I wanna suck Bruce Wayne's soul out through his dick and spit it back in his face.
Bruce, with a completely straight face: Poetic
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Cue the batkids watching this video after its been uploaded and gone viral on Twitter: Remember when Uncle Supes wrote that tweet about you when he was stoned off his ass??
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Said video was further used as blackmail by Tim, Jason and Steph. Duke couldn't look him in the eye for a week straight. Damian is yet to understand why the kids at school keep making jokes about his dad.
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The Justice League will never live it down
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"My favourite superhero is Green Lantern!"
"My favourite is the Flash!"
"Mine is Robin!"
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mikeluciraphgabe · 11 months
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I never really wanted the heroes to be in this but I thought this time it would be funny. You may or may not see them again idk yet
Part 6 master-post
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rebisrot · 6 months
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she lost her youth, she lost her tony, now she's lost her mind!
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hijinxinprogress · 6 months
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I need Billy thinking he’s so great at hiding things (and he is) no one knows he’s like fucking eight but they are pretty sure he hates like half the league
Like I need Billy getting along with everyone but he’s kinda stiff around flash and Batman but it’s get worse after most of them have revealed their secret ids and the jls so confused
Billy 100% thought Batman had all these fucking gadgets bc he was like some high up government official and then he found out no Batman’s just some rich guy and he’s like god no why is that worse
Batman just doesn’t care (he does 💀 he’s so fucking offended esp bc Marvel used to call him Mr. Batman sir but also bc he thought it’d be easier to get marvels secret id and weaknesses) as long as it doesn’t affect missions but Flash is kinda concerned bc ‘I’m pretty nice to him…does he think I don’t like him?? Did I offend him?? Do speedsters like set off the magic balance or whatever??’ 
They decide to pair up flash, Batman, and Captain Marvel to make sure their issues won’t affect team cohesion so after they’re done rescuing these kids that got involved in some supervillains masterplan Batman and flash are doing the usual spiel of ‘the laws exist for a reason,’ ‘you can trust the police’ and ‘there’s no good reason to turn to crime’
These kids want nothing to do with that shit and they’re trying to edge away while making excuses ‘thank you sm!! But no this is so safe, I know this area so well! We can get home ourselves!’ as soon as Batman starts asking about their parents so captain marvel just grabs Batman and flash and starts flying in the opposite direction ‘do you see that?? No guys seriously look at this cool thing!!’ and Batman’s growling about ‘childish to a degree that’s entirely unprofessional’ and ‘needlessly endangering civilians, civilian children at that-!’ and flash is trying to mediate but batman is shoving documents in his face ‘They were runaways, they don’t have anywhere to go and now they’re on a hitlist’ the ‘you fucking imbecile’ goes unsaid but they all hear it so marvel takes them back to villains lair and grabs a henchman at random and goes ‘This guys a cop…you can check that with your fancy equipment, right??’ and batman checks solely to prove him wrong but that guy is a cop and so are about 60% of the henchmen they took out then marvel goes ‘So they wouldn’t have been safe even if you took them to a hospital or child services’
Before the id reveals there’s a mission where the police are involved and flash mentions something about police protocol and marvel is so concerned bc ‘you’re still undercover? How long have you been under cover dude??’ and flash is confused bc ‘you know I’m not undercover right?? That is my actual real life day job’ and no one believes him when he says marvel shot him the most disgusted look you can imagine and edged away from him 
Batman tries to hold a meeting to address how marvel deals with the police and it goes no where bc marvel is fucking menace and goes ‘don’t you do that too?? And technically I’m also a vigilante sooo’ and batman is scrambling to get the jls attention back like ‘marvel hits cops 62% percent harder than other criminals and is 43% less friendly when interacting with the police in any capacity’ but they don’t care bc they want to know why marvel considers himself a vigilante 
They start letting Marvel be the one to approach children and notice that he’s advising them on how to make food last longer and maintain good hygiene while taking care of themselves and a jl members like hey wtf?? and Marvel says some bullshit about how ‘he’s lived many lives and not all of them were charmed’ and it gets back to cyborg who starts a rumor that he was dracula bc he can’t believe marvel had the balls to look WW in the eyes and lie to her fucking face
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robinsleeping · 4 months
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BART ✨
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rad-batson · 8 months
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Batlantern Headcanons Because I Found My New Brainrot and I Cannot Contain Myself (Platonic or Romantic, You Decide <3)
Hal is the only one who gets away with calling Bruce nicknames. Oliver tried calling Bruce “Spooky” once. He still has nightmares.
Several long-winded missions combined with Hal’s couch-surfing escapades have resulted in Hal having his own official Wayne guest room.
Alfred has smacked Hal with a dish towel several times. Reasons include: trying to wash the dishes, using a mini vac that he brought from home, and spitting gum into the garbage without wrapping it in a tissue first.
Tim gave Hal all of their streaming passwords to piss Bruce off. Hal proceeded to make his own profiles because he fears nothing, so Bruce changed all of his profile names to “Parasite.” Since then, it’s turned into an all-out war of renaming Hal’s profile every time they’re using it.
Highlights so far have included Sugar Baby, Freeloader, Ring Pop, Green Abomination, Magical Girl, Noisemaker, The Better Side Piece, and This is Your Official Eviction Notice Hal. (Bruce still hasn’t changed the passwords.)
Hal: You need to let go of your fear, Bats. Let’s do a simple breathing exercise. Bruce: I am breathing. Hal: No, like calming breaths. Follow my lead, okay? In- no, not that fast. Maybe close your eyes first. In…and out-No. No. Are you having a panic attack? Do I need to call someone?
For one mission, a few other JL members had to go undercover as couples. Bruce and Hal were the spares and paired up out of necessity. To everyone’s surprise, however, they were the most convincing duo because they “bickered like an old married couple.”
Bruce: I’m growing soft, Clark. I’m weak now. Clark: You told Hal ‘Good job.’ What’s wrong with that? Bruce: It’s unprofessional! *in the other room* Hal: I think Batman just confessed his undying love to me.
They have each other’s coffee orders memorized and regularly prepare the other’s coffee for them out of habit when they’re together.
After a while, Hal stops playfully flirting with everyone and reserves it only for Bruce because he gives the best reactions.
At a ‘Thank You, Justice League’ party hosted by Bruce Wayne, Hal slips up and flirts with Bruce in his civvies, only for Brucie Wayne to flirt back without missing a beat.
Hal had to go cool down in the bathroom for a few minutes. He was not ready for that. (Bruce is so fucking smug too. He’s been waiting FOREVER to give Hal a taste of his own medicine.)
Hal, introducing Bruce to the Lantern Corp: This is my pet bat. Careful, he bites.
Bruce, introducing Hal to new JL members: This is my partner. He’s been in training for ten years.
During an important strategy meeting, Hal waves his hand around, and Bruce just sighs. “What now, Lantern?” “Your plan of attack has like four holes in it.” “Where?” Hal gestures to the areas and suggests different strategies, and suddenly Bruce is like Does anyone else think it’s hot in here?
He lies in bed that night contemplating every single life event that’s lead up to Hal Fucking Jordan turning him on with his impeccable battle strategy.
Barry: I think Batman’s mad at me. He didn’t even react when I told him about the great rescue mission from last week. Hal: What do you mean? He was smiling the whole time. Barry: His face didn’t move an inch. Hal: You didn’t notice the lip twitch?
Batman has blackmail material on every single Justice League member, but only Hal has blackmail material on Bruce and the guts to use it. (Hal knows Bruce gets pedicures for fun. And he gets little designs on his toes too.)
Arthur: So when did you and Green Lantern start….you know. Bruce: No, I do not. What did we start? Arthur: You know what?! I think I forgot to walk my fish. Bye!
*Barry sees Hal with a hickey while they’re drinking coffee* Barry, jokingly: Did Bruce give you that? Hal: Yes, actually. How’d you know? Barry, backing away frantically: Oh okay, cool! Okay okay. Cool. Cool cool cool. Okay. Bruce, entering: What’s with him? Hal: I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to like the mug you bought me, though.
The JL has a betting pool called “BatLantern FMK” where they bet on which will happen first: will they fuck, marry, or kill each other?
Only Clark, Diana, and J’onn know that one of them happened already
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There's no "I" in Team but there are two in Migraine
Bruce had no issue with teamwork, despite what his children and colleagues might think. Teamwork was great. If done properly it was efficient, and it was good to have backup. Competent backup, at least. 
Bruce helped found the Justice League. Obviously he was a supporter of teamwork. 
However. 
Some teams he really could have happily lived out his life without them ever existing. 
He had a list. 
One: Dick and Clark Kent
Clark had been the first hero he had introduced Dick to. It was a move he had regretted ever since. 
He was glad the two of them got along, of course, but did they have to get along so well? 
He could withstand torture but the two sets of sad puppy eyes attacking at the same time was on another level altogether. 
Two: The Titans
Pros: Dick was making friends. 
Cons: Dick was either away with his friends, or they came home with him. Really, all Bruce wanted was to spend one week without putting out any fires caused by teenage superheroes. Literal fires, not metaphorical ones. Well, actually there were plenty of those kind too. 
Three: Dick and Jason
When Bruce first brought Jason home he wasn’t sure how Dick was going to react. And so maybe he panicked slightly and didn’t end up telling him for three weeks. In his defense, the voicemail he had left asking Dick to call him soon was left before the newspaper article came out. 
Perhaps not his best moment. 
Eventually, though, the two boys were introduced. 
There was some yelling that took place, mostly directed at him, but other than that things seemed to go rather smoothly. Assuming, that is, that smoothly meant neither of them seemed to care about getting to know the other one, and mostly kept to themselves and their own activities. 
And then, four months, two weeks, and five days after Jason first came to the manor, Bruce came home to discover the two of them had bonded over some unspoken activity that neither were willing to divulge. Alfred knew and didn’t disapprove so it couldn’t be that bad, but from then on out it was…well…
Bruce began the daily habit of checking his blood pressure. 
Four: Talia al Ghul and Lois Lane
Bruce didn’t know how the two of them had met and he didn’t want to. See, Dick, he was okay with not knowing things. Sometimes. In this one instance, at least. 
Five: Dick and Slade Wilson
Worst three weeks of his life. 
Six: Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn
He was happy for them, he really was. He just wished they could be happy together somewhere less structurally damaging. 
Seven: Jason and Harley Quinn
Explosion therapy was not a thing, despite both their arguments otherwise. They didn’t even give him a Joker effigy to blow up. They could have at least asked. He would have happily paid for that one and all the rest of them. 
Eight: Tim and Barbara
 He wasn’t that old. He knew how to use his computer. 
Nine: Jason and Cassandra
Too competent. They should never have been allowed on the same team for any game ever. If he heard one more complaint from any of his other children he was going to seriously lose it. 
And then there was that one time the two of them disappeared for a week and no one, not even himself or Clark, could find them. They had turned back up with grins and minimal injuries, and Bruce had tried to not investigate, he really had. But he needed to know, regardless of how much he regretted it later. (A lot. He regretted it a lot.) 
Ten: Dick, Jason, and Constantine
Bruce hated magic. 
Eleven: Jason, Diana, and Barry Allen
No one knew how or why the three of them had teamed up. It had been four months of secret meetings and pointed looks and minor heists that couldn’t technically be traced back to them but Bruce knew. And then there was the regular day-to-day hero-ing. Diana, he could understand. That’s what she did. Jason? Had always been vocally opposed to getting too involved with the Justice League, but had also always looked up to Diana, so maybe that was understandable? Allen? The man was retired. And he wasn’t suddenly out of retirement for some reason, no. He was just there to “lend a hand” to the other two. 
At least Bruce could comfort himself in knowing Jason was spending time with two respectable individuals. It was certainly a step up from his unfortunately ongoing acquaintance with Rayner. 
Twelve: Stephanie and Hal Jordan 
They should never have been allowed to meet. It was a disaster. For Bruce. 
Jason had been the one to introduce them, as he had proudly let Bruce know after the first breaking news cycle hit.
Thirteen: Duke and Damian 
Bruce would have told Jason how thankful he was that he was acting as the moderating adult influence with those two if he didn’t think Jason would start doing the opposite out of spite. 
Jason would make a great parent someday. 
Bruce would love a six month vacation. 
Fourteen: Alfred and Martha Kent
He didn’t really need to explain this one, right? Everyone could just move on, continue with their lives and so on and so forth. 
Fifteen: Damian and Batcow
Because a boy needs a cow and a cow needs an emotional support duck, turkey, cat, dog, rabbit, goat, and raccoon. Apparently. Tim and Jason were, in Bruce’s opinion, far too enthusiastic to provide research as evidence whenever needed (or not needed, as was usually the case). 
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adhdslugcrimes · 1 year
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Dick, at 8yo: just shut up! I've had it up to here I'm going to kill the person I see, I swear to-
Wally, 10yo: hello! Dickie! I'm so happy to see you!
Dick, happy now: aw, Wally!
Bruce, in the corner: *sobbing, knees in chest, scared of his 8yo*
Barry: ... So that's a yes for them to have a sleepover?
Bruce: yes.... Please take him...
Batsibs, hiding watching this, whispering
Jason: see! He was evil!
Damian: so West kept him at bay... Huh
Steph: totally not, probably doesn't know he's helping a serial killer!
Tim: well... At least it's not us.
Cass: Tim...
Duke: not cool dude.
Alfred: I would prefer my future young masters and misses to not talk down to my current young master, he hears everything.
Batfam: *screaming*
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atomic-chronoscaph · 6 months
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The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
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Kon: Aw, my ice cream melted before I could eat it
Tim: Melted ice cream. A cornerstone of life
Bart: Yeah, like your alarm clock not going off or your shoelaces coming undone or getting possessed by a death god or-
Cassie: Wait, what was that last one?
Bart: You know, when you get possessed by a death god. It happens all the time, it's so annoying.
Bart: Between Barry, Wally and me, we've been possessed by four different death gods six different times!!!
Bart: It's the worst part of the year. Gives me a headache every time.
Tim:
Cassie:
Kon:
Kon: I feel like we're ignoring my ice cream situation over here
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wait-whos-batman · 6 months
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Every time I watch a fight between a superhero and a supervillain I can't help but watch in horror as the property damage reaches exponential heights. Who is paying for the shattered windows and wrecked office buildings? Do all of the civilians have specialty car insurance for being smashed during a climactic fight scene? There are too many questions and absolutely no answers.
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ellana-ravenwood · 2 years
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“Hey Mrs Wayne !” - Fem!Reader x Batfam x Young Justice x JLA
Synopsis : Your children invited their friends over a few times. You met every single kid in the team they call “Young Justice”...but you never ever met their parents/ guardians/mentors. It comes as quite a shock to all the Justice League members when they realize their kids know you well, while they didn’t even know you existed. 
Just a short and silly story. A sort of AU in which the younger superheroes met Batman’s family before their older counterpart hehe. I hope you’ll like it :) :
Please, do not repost my stories ANYWHERE else, under any other form, do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you. 
My masterlist(s) : @ella-ravenwood-archives
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Bruce was a secretive man. And for a very long time, none of the Justice League members knew about his family. None of them knew he was actually married, and the “Robins” were his kids (although they had suspicions about the latter).
But there came a day when the “secret was out”. 
The main reason Bruce told them who he really was, was as a show of trust. He wanted to prove he trusted them, and he wanted them to trust him. 
It was vital, for the team to work properly. Once they discovered he had contingency plans for each and everyone of them, it was the only solution to gain back their trust. 
Of course, Bruce would never admit openly that he considered many of them his friends, and that it was actually a great relief to finally tell them the truth (after all, he knew since a long time THEIR secret identity...he wasn’t the best detective in the world for nothing). But it was a necessary step. 
Once they knew who he was, it was as if they were finally truly a team. They all trusted each others enough to divulge their real self. 
Funny, when you think about it. Bruce’s paranoia and constant need for “plans” (you did convince him to go see a therapist about that), his great mistrust in others, ended up being what cemented everyone’s relationship.   
Bruce’s distrust lead to everyone trusting one another with their lives. They revealed who they were, as civilians. And Batman did it first. He told them first. 
“Bruce Wayne.” He said, removing his cowl. Revealing one’s real identity was dangerous, for people in their line of work...yet he trusted them. He showed them that his initial wariness had vanished. 
Batman showed them who he really was. And in more than one way, as they all came to realize that, if he was THE Bruce Wayne...Then he had quite a big family ! 
What a shock ! 
And what a greater shock, when they realized their kids knew all about it long before they did. When they realized they knew you well, when they didn't even know you existed !  
Superman
Clark was the first person from Bruce’s “work” who met you. 
Of course, he was. Who else, but Batman’s BEST friend would meet his family first ? Who would the Dark Knight trust more amongst the JLA members, but the one who he first called “friend” ? 
Who else but Clark, could meet you first ? 
It’s not like anyone else had Bruce’s trust or anything. Not like he would let anyone else get close to his family. Come to his home. Meet his wife and kids, unmasked. 
Right ? 
...Right ?
...
RIGHT ?!
Wrong. 
Clark was not the first person to ever meet Batman’s family. Hell. He wasn’t even the second person to do so...or the third...or the fourth...
When he first arrived at Wayne Manor, he had almost a sense of pride. Because he was so sure that he was the first person that Bruce ever allowed in his home. In his personal life (the first superfriend, at least). 
Imagine his surprise, when Bruce introduced him to you, and you were playing video games with your children and...CONNER ?! What the-
Kon was a good friend of Dick, and one of Tim’s best friend.  
And at first, Clark rejected him. 
And it didn’t take more. 
Of course, you’d welcome with open arms a lost “little” kid who didn’t know who he truly was, and who was shunned by someone who could help him out. Of course, Bruce would say “yes” when Dick asked if Conner could sleep over one night the boy felt particularly alone. 
Taking care of lost ducklings was kind of your jam. 
Conner was like a nephew, to you. He would often crash at Wayne Manor. Bruce knew he needed someone there in his life, and he knew that being as powerful as Superman meant he could be dangerous if he didn’t learn how to process his emotions. 
Of course, OF COURSE Conner would be welcomed in your home. Not only was he one of your son’s closest friend, but he was also just a child. You’d never leave him all alone. 
Everyone in the Young Justice league had someone to go see if they needed, except for Conner. 
You became “his confident”, when Clark was still rejecting him. Nowadays of course, their relationship softened. Over the years, they developed a filial relationship, because let’s be honest, the first time Clark met Conner, there wasn’t really much even a chance of a relation. Ah, but the man of steel came around, of course. In part thanks to Bruce. In part because Kon was actually a good kid. 
But before that, who was there to guide Conner ? 
You and Bruce. 
You especially, gave him the motherly care he obviously never knew. Martha and Lois would gladly accept this role later on, but at the beginning, you were there. 
He wasn’t always home of course, and you never adopted him because you and Bruce both knew he belonged with the Kents. But it didn’t mean that Conner didn’t hung a LOT in your home. 
And so when Clark first came, thinking he was the first to get in the intimacy of Batman’s house, and he saw him playing video game with Bruce’s wife (whom he didn’t even know existed)...it was a shock, to say the least. 
Even more so when he realized Kon seemed very close to you. 
He clearly knew you, called you by your first name and everything ! What ?! But Batman was HIS best friend, so he should know his wife first ! 
You and Clark became friends quickly, it was so easy, to become friend with him. He was most definitely the “golden retriever” type of the group, and easy to approach (unlike a certain husband). 
And although Superman would never admit it, he had been particularly friendly to you (risking Bruce’s infamous bout of jealousy) and such, because he wanted to “catch on” on Conner’s “advance”. There was no way the boy could know his best friend’s family more than him. No way, nuh-hu. Clark didn’t make so many efforts for Batman to finally accept him, only to realize that someone else got to know him better ! 
Do you know how long it took the mighty Superman to finally break down Bruce’s defenses ? To finally reach him, and become friends ? How many times he got rejected, before he finally managed to come to Wayne Manor ? 
And what, Conner had been here the entire time ? Oh, and the boy looked at him that day, as if to say : “Yeah. Hurts to feel left out, right ?!”, which fueled Clark’s need to be loved by everyone even more (and put a lot of things into perspective..;after all, it’s seeing Conner so well integrated in your family that made him realize he had to be there for the boy). 
It wasn’t fair. Clark didn’t even know you existed ! Aaaaaah. 
Yes. It was honestly quite upsetting. To this day, Clark was still a little vexed. 
Kon always saw it as a great sort of “revenge” on the man who, at first, rejected him so adamantly. On the man who wanted nothing to do with him. 
Over the years though, this little fact became a source of “competition” between the Kent boys. Later on, Clark’s youngest son, Jon, would be over at your house WAY too often. It’s funny, because you’d say yourself that Damian was spending too much time at the Kent’s house. 
Your boys were best friends, of course. Ah, but it was a bit of a competition, between Clark and his kids, to know who knew the Waynes the best...
It never ceased to amuse you. 
WONDER WOMAN
Diana often made a distinction, in her head, between the Batman she met at the beginning of the Justice League, and the Batman he slowly became. 
When she first met him, when he first approached her about that JLA idea, it was clear the man had been alone for a long time. That he wasn’t used to work as a team. Or rather, that he was used to people listening to him. To people doing what he said. That he was used to work alone, and to not rely on anyone else. To not trust anyone else. To not let anyone else into his heart. 
That Batman was cold, sad, distant, and honestly kind of an ass. 
Over those first few years though, Diana noticed a difference. He became a little more open. A little easier to deal with. 
Years later, Diana would learn that you met him a little while after the league was created. That you met him at his worst, and somehow still decided to stick with him, and even marry him. That when you appeared in his life, it been a very long time since he last truly trusted someone (someone who wasn’t Alfred). 
Of course, it took him time to open up a bit more. But she did notice a difference. In her opinion, there was definitely two different Batman. 
The one before you, and the one after you. 
Let’s not be too optimistic, she still thought that Bruce could be an ass, and he was often arrogant and inconsiderate. But she still saw a slight switch in him. An improvement. 
Haha. Of course the source of his improvement was a woman. As a proud amazon, Diana wasn’t surprised. 
What surprised her, however, was that her little proteges, Donna and Cassie...knew all about you. 
How come did they never tell her anything ? 
“Mrs. Wayne asked us not to.” 
Was their answer. And when Diana met you, she understood. Yes. Yes there was something about you. Something that made her believe that you were the one who helped Bruce get away from his dark path, and onto a brighter future. Something that made her trust, that you took good care of Donna and Cassie. Something that made her like you instantly. 
What was it ? 
She wasn’t sure. Maybe it was how you so easily got along with her proteges ? How they seemed to fully trust you ? Maybe it was something in your voice, that she found soothing. Maybe it was the fact that you managed to tame the bat ? 
Diana would never quite know for sure. But she always suspected the fact that both Wonder Girls seemed to adore you played a part in how fast you two became friends. 
She was the only one who was not bothered in the least to meet you after the kids did. On the contrary, it felt right, to meet you and befriend you AFTER those two accepted you. Yes. Yes. 
It felt right. 
FLASH
What the fuck. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK ?!
Those words kept repeating in Barry’s head as he saw his “little” nephew, Wally, run around Batman’s kitchen as if he owned the place.  
Indeed, Wally just casually trudged to the fridge, got a soda out of it, and then took a piece of the cake that was on the table, without even asking. He got a plate from a cabinet...He knew were the plates were ! 
And no one batted an eye ! Not even scary old Batman, who certainly couldn’t approve of such behavior, right ?! 
What the hell was going ooooon ??  
“Hey Mrs. Wayne !” 
Wally exclaimed happily when he saw you. And then he-
He-
He hugged you ????  
WHAAAAAT ?! 
“Hi there Wally, it’s been a while. You’ve been behaving, I hope.”
“Always, you know me Mrs W.”
You knew him ?? Yeah ok. That was it. Barry was completely lost. 
Only a few weeks earlier, did he learn that Batman’s true identity was Bruce Wayne. Of course, he knew the man. Everyone in the USA knew him. And his wife and kids. So when he was invited to Wayne Manor, he knew what to expect. 
He knew you’d be there, as well as the kids he already knew (although masked). He never met you before, but he knew about you. And recognized you. 
He thought he’d make his favorite nephew happy by bringing him with him. He thought he had such a scoop, that Wally wouldn’t believe his eyes when he’d realize who Bruce Wayne really was. 
And here they were. 
Barry, completely lost, and Wally, apparently knowing you and all ?? 
Ah. Ah, now it made more sense. 
This is why Batman almost cracked a smile when he asked him if he could bring his nephew, because Wally was good friends with Robin number 1 and 2 (Barry couldn’t believe they all grew up so fast, he refused to call Dick “Nightwing”, or Jason “Red Hood”, and kept acting as if they were still 13). 
He thought he was going to make “Kid Flash” happy. He thought he would blow his mind. 
AH ! And here they were. Barry was faced with all of you, and you clearly found the situation funny as you all smiled. Even Bruce, wasn’t far from a smile, and had a crooked smirk on his face, clearly amused (it was a little sadistic of him, really). 
It didn’t take long to Barry to make 2 and 2 together. He realized that, quite a long time ago now, the kids told each other’s secrets identity. That they trusted each other, and bonded faster than their adult “counterpart”. 
A surprising thing that Barry realized too, and that he kept somewhere in his mind just in case he needed some leverage : Batman couldn’t say “no” to his kids. That’s how the entire superkids army ended up at Wayne Manor before the “adults”. Because Dick asked if his friends could come over, and Bruce didn’t have the heart to say “no”. 
That’s how all of them knew you. That’s how- aaah. 
Wally looked at his uncle, and smiled widely, saying : 
“Haha. For once, I was faster than you !”
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
M’gann has never been good at hiding things from her uncle. 
It’s not that he would willingly read her mind, it’s just that sometimes, her thoughts just...spilled out of her. She couldn’t help it. When there was something preoccupying her, she thought about it so much that J’onn would just always know about it. 
That’s one of the reasons her friends never really told her secrets they wanted to keep from the adults, when they knew J’onn would be around. 
Yes. M’gann's “poker brain” was horrible. And yet-
Yet she managed to keep for herself the fact that she was invited to multiple sleepover at Wayne Manor, and that her friends Tim and Dick, who happened the be Robins at one point, were Bruce Wayne’s sons (THE Batman). 
It hadn’t always been easy, but she made it. And one of the reason, was because she really, really, REALLY liked Batman’s wife.
You. 
You were so nice, and motherly. You treated all of those kids as if they were yours, when they came to visit. 
If you knew M’gann was going to come around, there would be freshly baked cupcakes in the kitchen. Her favorites, of course. 
M’gann felt a deep need to protect you. 
All of the kids, felt that. Actually, unbeknownst to you and every other adults, the children made a pact when they all first met you : They were to make sure no harm would happen to you. 
Their reasoning was : first, you were the mom of some of their best friends, so, duh. But second, without you, clearly, Batman would crumble. And Batman was one of the backbone of the JLA. If he fell, they could all fall. Yes, a secret pact was made. “Protect Mrs. Wayne.” 
Plus, you always welcomed them into your home with opened arms, you were warm and nice, and your cupcakes were the best. All the more reasons, right ? 
J’onn knew you held a special place in those children’s heart, when he first met you, realized that M’gann knew you all this time, and yet she never once let shown. She never once let her thoughts about you show, while she’s never been good at hiding things. 
Martian Manhunter knew, that you were special, thank to those kids. Thanks to them knowing you before he, or any JLA members, did.
Besides, you had to be special to bear to live with someone like Batman, right ?
AQUAMAN
“Hey Kaldy !” 
You say happily, seeing the young man coming up the stairs of your home. 
“Hello, Mrs. Wayne. How goes it ?”
“Pretty well, and yourself, young man ?”
“Good, as well.” 
There’s a short silence. During which Arthur Curry, aka Aquaman, king of Atlantis, looks at his protege, and then at the woman next to Bruce (whom he knew now was Batman), and then back at his protege, and then-
“...Kaldy ??” 
He exclaims suddenly, in utter disbelief. How ? How could Kaldur know who you were when he himself didn’t even know you existed just a few weeks earlier ? How, and why ?? 
And did you call him Kaldy ? Kaldur disliked nicknames, how come you were allowed to call him Kaldy ?? 
You saw the confusion on Arthur’s face, but you misunderstood it. You thought he was surprised to hear you call him a nickname (because you knew the boy and his distastes for such thing well), but it wasn’t just because of this. Aquaman was especially surprised that his loyal subject and protege knew Batman’s wife, while he didn’t !! You said : 
“Oh yes, Kaldy, because Kal was taken. It’s Clark’s birth name, and honestly it gets too confusing when two people are called the same. Although it was funny to just say “Kal”, watch both of them turn around, and wonder to whom I was talking haha...MMmmm. I guess I have a bad sense of humor.” 
You laugh to yourself, and he cannot believe that your his wife. Yes he sees how softly Bruce looks at you (even if once he noticed Arthur was looking at him himself, he started to were a stoic expression, schooling his face properly once again). 
He cannot believe Kaldur knows you, when he didn’t even know you existed, yet clearly the boy is well familiarized with you. 
“You- You came here before, Kaldur’ahm ?” 
Aqualad is clearly a bit embarrassed, as he says : 
“I am sorry, my king. But I promised Mrs. Wayne I wouldn’t say anything, she said if I did, Batman would get...cranky.”
Bruce turns his head towards you, his eyes narrowing as if to say : “I can’t believe you said that”, your smile which meant : “please, you know it’s true” only made him narrow his eyes further...
And on that note- 
Arthur starts to burst out laughing. 
The situation was so absurd. What. He didn’t know his friend of many years was married, but Kaldur did ? And the reason why the boy never mentioned her was because Batman would “get cranky” ?? 
Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. 
Soon, you all laughed together, and the rest was history. 
Yes, Kaldur had been coming to Wayne Manor for a long time now, and so what ? He was close friends with Batman’s kids. That was enough of an explanation. 
After all, it was the “adults” fault that they didn’t trust each other as fast as the kids did, right ? 
GREEN ARROW (with guest appearance from Black Canary)
Roy had been a long time friend of Jason. And you held the boy dearly inside your heart, because you knew he helped your son tremendously. 
Both Roy and Jay knew the pain of feeling abandoned, and left for dead. 
It was only natural, for Roy to be an “extended member of the family”. He was genuinely like a nephew, to you. You were never surprised to see him in your kitchen, unannounced, devouring a cake or something. 
“Sup Mrs. Wayne”, he’d say, giving you a high five, your son Jason never being too far. 
Roy was always welcomed. In fact, he was much more welcomed than Oliver will ever be. One thing your husband LOVED doing : annoy the crap out of other billionaires. Especially when they were arrogant like Oliver Queen (the irony of that statement never fully reaching your husband’s brain...)
Too bad for Green arrow, eh ? 
It was one of Bruce’s favorite past time, oops. And so when Oliver first came to Wayne Manor, accompanied by Dinah, and he realized that Roy was there while the boy was currently filtering his calls...the archer was shook. 
No but for real. Here was Roy, sitting at the kitchen table, eating a home cooked meal, relaxed in his chair, clearly alive and well...all the while Oliver had been worried sick ! He would never admit it of course, but he was ! 
But clearly, “Speedy” (now Arsenal) was all good.  
You had invited Green Arrow for dinner (Bruce didn’t want to invite him, mainly just to piss him off because he had invited everyone else already), and oh, Roy and your husband had way too much fun taunting him. 
And what the hell, although Roy had eaten two full plates already, he asked for a third one when he saw that Oliver was going to ask if there was any food left. You served the boy, of course, and Bruce insisted for him to finish the dish (just so Oliver couldn’t have more). 
You dotted over Roy so much, that Oliver felt almost hurt. Beyond the fact Bruce and the boy obviously were trying to annoy him, Oliver realized how many years he lost. How far from Roy he was, now. 
Seeing how close you all were, He realized...
This needed to change. And it would. 
************
“I trained a lot here.” Artemis said matter of factly, when Oliver asked her how come she knew about Wayne Manor before he did. 
“...I beg you pardon ?” He said, a little offended. Why wouldn’t she train at his place ?? 
“They have an insane gym, and in the cave they have one of them “danger room”. Like in the X-Men. So we often met here to train together. Sometimes because it’s honestly closer to come to Gotham than the YJ headquarter’s. But mainly because Dick is a BIG Mama’s boy.” 
Artemis snickered, looking at your oldest son. And, it was true. The reason the Young Justice sometimes came to train in the Batcave rather than at their headquarters, was because Dick was easily homesick (those short years during which he didn’t talk to Bruce anymore, and was away with the Titans, were tough for him). 
And so what ? He lost his family once, could anyone blame him that he was so traumatized he easily missed his mom ? Nope. No one. 
Doesn’t mean they never teased him though. 
“As my little brother Damian would say : it’s hardly something I’m ashamed of, good ol’ Artemis.” 
They laugh together, and you shake your head. You turn to Oliver to tell him that-
Wait, was he pouting ? Oh. Oh he definitely was ! And why, exactly ? 
Because Artemis, whom he took care of, whom he took under his wing...KNew you before he did, and liked Bruce’s gym better than his. 
Fair enough. 
DICK 
It was Dick, who first convinced his dad to let his friends come over. 
“Absolutely not” he said, at first. But then Dick did his infamous puppy eyes. The little fucker always managed to get some unshed tears in them, always managed to look utterly sad even when it wasn’t really the case. 
Your little buddy even went as far as saying : “I just- I just wanted to feel normal” in a broken voice, lowering his head as he left the room (pure acting, of course).
Bruce stood no chance. Alfred and you gave him that look that meant : “Don’t be so heartless !”, and Dick pulled at his heartstring by acting as if he was truly hurt by his refusal. 
No chance at all, all Batman that he was. 
He couldn’t resist his son already, so when even his wife was pleading with him...”Fine. But we need to set up some rules !” 
1. None of them could say who he really was to anyone.  2. No Sleepover  Fine, no sleepover exceeding 3 nights ! 3. The Batcave is strictly forbidden (added later : except for training sessions) 4. No mess.  5. Keep. The. Whole. Thing. SECRET. 
And that’s how your house welcomed a bunch of little superkids (and how lots of shenanigans ensued...but that, is another story). 
JASON 
Bruce never regretted saying “yes” to Dick all those years before, about bringing friends over. 
Not only did it also made Jason feel like a normal kid inviting his buddies at his place, but after his death and resurrection...his friends truly saved him. 
It’s them, who managed to convince him to speak to his parents again. Who brought him home again. Yes. Yes this was something Bruce knew he would never regret. 
Saying “yes” to his son’s request, all those years ago, and welcoming into his private home a bunch of kids with famous parents/guardians/mentors, had been one of his best idea. Because there was no doubt in his mind, that the fact those children knew you and him since so long, saved his son. 
TIM
Tim, at first, had difficulty to connect with others. 
It’s thanks to being part of a team, and them being allowed in his home, that he developed his social skills more. 
After all, the boy had been left alone for so long. Had the attention of no one for so long. Of course, it took him a bit of time to get acclimated to having a real family, and even friends ! 
Tim organized the best movie marathons, and once a month, your living room would be invaded by a bunch of teens who would steal every single snack in your house. 
Ah, but it was worst it. It was worst it, if only to see your son so happy, and not alone anymore. 
DUKE
Duke was never part of any Young Justice or Teen Titans team...It was before his time. All those “kids” and “teens” were adults now, for the most part. Or his age, but already playing in the big league. 
Sometimes, he felt inadequate. And behind. But then you’d reassure him. Of course he couldn’t quite be on the same level they were yet, he just started his “career” as a vigilante ! 
You encouraged him to mingle with his siblings’ friends, and he did. Duke was a pretty social lad. It didn’t take him much time, to bond with everyone. Especially since they had one subject they were sure to agree on : how great you were. 
Ah yes. Of course. You were often the subject of many conversation, because honestly, how many people would let that many lost kids in their home like that ? 
CASS
Cass, just like Duke, had never been in a team. 
Which made her feel left out, at first...
But oh, this was without counting on her brothers. Those boys would NEVER make their sister feel alone. Feel like she wasn’t a part of their lives, in every way. 
Dick introduced his friends to her very quickly. Jason and Tim did too. And of course Damian. 
They all bragged so much about her (especially Damian), they all put her on such a high pedestal, that it made all her insecurities and sadness about not fitting in go away. 
So what if she wasn’t part of any team (yet) ? She was part of a family, and that was enough. Plus, even though all her brothers’ friends got along really well with you, she knew you’d always choose them over anyone else if you had to make a choice. And honestly for now, she’d settle with “just” a family. 
It had already been so hard, to manage to open up and accept your love. She didn’t think she was quite ready for “friends” yet. But she will be. She knew she’d be, one day. 
For now, family was enough. 
DAMIAN
Your little one would never admit it, but he was sometimes so jealous. 
Some of those Young Justice kids...Were not kids anymore. And had been coming around your house for nearly decades. 
When the first Young Justice team was made, Dick was 13. Barely older than Damian was now. His friends met you before he did...
That’s what upset Damian, sometimes. Knowing that they grew up with you more than he did. Knowing that they knew you before everyone else, even before the JLA !! 
It wasn’t fair. How come they got to spend so many years with you, so much time with you, when he didn’t ?  
Yes. Damian was often jealous of how well the Young Justice, and Teen Titans kids knew you. 
Clark and him actually bonded greatly over that, to your husband’s exasperation. You thought it was funny. And cute. And definitely reminded your husband that “jealousy was probably a hereditary trait”, which always vexed him. 
Oh. And you made sure that your son knew you loved him so much, that there really were no reason to feel jealous.. 
EVERYONE 
Little by little, everyone came to Wayne Manor at one point. 
They all slowly met Batman’s family. Secret identities didn’t exist for them anymore. Annual barbecue was a thing (which mainly happened at Wayne Manor, because Bruce was the only one who had a backyard big enough, and remote enough, to invite all the most powerful superhero on the planet, without anyone even noticing).
They realized Bruce was just a man (and not a vampire, thank you very much mister Jordan). 
A family man. 
A few years back, it would’ve never crossed any of their mind to think that. What ? Batman ? With a family ? Right...
And yet. Yet it was the truth. 
Yes. They slowly got accustomed to that fact. But there was one thing they’d never get used to : it was how their kids, their wards, nephews or nieces, their sidekicks, the children they decided to mentor...Knew all along. 
Long before they did. 
It was quite an adjustment, to realize Batman had a wife, and to see their kids know everything about her already. 
You admit that, if the roles were reversed, you’d probably be very surprised. Especially since you knew all about them, thanks to their children. 
But in a way, it made sense, didn’t it ? It made sense, that those kids knew you before the adults did. That they hung out at Wayne Manor a lot, given the fact it was the biggest house at disposal, and they were great friends with your children. 
Yes. It just made sense, that you got to meet the kid first. Because of your own kids. Of course. 
And it made you so happy, to see all of them grow to be such fine and decent people. 
When you thought about that time, all those years ago, when they first started to know you, you often felt a bit nostalgic. 
Ah, but years passed, but the friendships and love you all shared never faded. 
__________________________________________________
Hahahaha so here we are, in an “AU” in which the superkids met Batmom before anyone else :). I hope you enjoyed this story. Trying really hard not to be too self-deprecating right now so not adding more haha. As per usual, comments and reblog are highly appreciated and encouraging/motivating :) ! Thank you for reading !
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niiwa-angel · 4 days
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The Core Four: would you still love us if we were worms?
Wonder Woman: I would keep you in the best gardens of Themyscira and fight any predators that came your way.
Wonder Girl: 😁
Batman: I would make worm sized weaponry for you and train you to be the most well trained worm in history.
Robin: 😁
Flash: I would make you a proper terrarium to live in and make sure you always had fresh dirt.
Impulse: 😁
Superman: I don't even like you now.
Superboy:😢
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bart vs weed🫡
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