After a mission…
Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.
Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?
Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.
Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.
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something clearly went wrong after kid one, bruce
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Tim : Who is this?
Dick , holding Damian in a tight grip knowing full well he will jump Tim as soon as he lets go : Our New Brother
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Jason: Today I’ll be teaching how to stop using anti-self language.
Dick: I’m listening.
Jason: Instead of saying “I messed up.” say “Why don’t you stop me.”
Damian: Hm.
Damian: Instead of saying “You’re great.” say “You’re a higher stepping stone for me.”
Jason: You got it.
Dick: I don’t think that’s right…
Cass: Instead of saying “I’m sorry.” say “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Jason: Exactly.
Dick: Not exactly.
Tim: Instead of saying “People should control the government.” say “I should control the entire world.”
Jason: Hell yeah.
Steph: Instead of saying “I’m not funny.” say “I alone decide what is funny.”
Duke: Instead of saying “Thank you.” say “ ”
Jason: Damn that’s good.
Jason: Your turn.
Dick: …Fine, instead of saying “I was wrong.” say “You are wrong.”
Jason: Well there’s still room to improve but it’s alright.
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Alfred, about Tim Drake
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bruce wayne seems like the exact type of dad to hear that his kid likes something and latch on to that info like a leech.
like dick says he likes the color blue and for the next x amount of years, everything bruce gets dick is in blue.
jason mentions liking strawberry flavoring and suddenly candy, drinks, ice cream, cake, doesnt matter, is all strawberry flavored
every holiday or birthday tim gets photography stuff. bruce gets tickets to attend photography gallerys and researches it in order to engage in conversation.
just that whole dad thing where he finds one (1) thing that his kid enjoys and latches onto that fact in order to connect to them (awkward for the kdis when its ten years later and theyre pretty indifferent to that thing now but you know their dad is trying so they’re not gonna say anything)
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I just know Jason is so fed up with the rest of the Batfam not knowing how much of a shitbag Dick was when he was a teenager. I know this man looks like a complete nutcase when he tries to convince Tim or Damian that Dick had his asshole phase, too. Don’t believe his fucking golden boy, depressed, running on fumes, burnt out, “I’d give everything and then some for the good of the world” act. He’s a lying liar that lies. It’s ALL lies.
Mr. Professional Older Brother was a goddamn menace to society, and Jason Todd is gonna PROVE IT, DAMNIT.
“I know what you are,” says Jason.
“Lol,” says Dick. “Lmao.”
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Batkids being asked "Why does Batman show the lower half of his face?" And the answers are actually pretty accurate 😂😂
If you like RobStar and other DC shananagans on the regular, why not follow me?? 😊🤷🏾♀️
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Stephanie: Congratulations! You have won a lifetime supply of lemons!
Black Mask: You only gave me one lemon
Stephanie, pulling out a gun: yep
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"I think we're gonna have to kill this guy, Tim"
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they're going to see the greatest cinematic masterpiece of 2023
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*Court of owls is back and the batfam is trying to get inside to know what they're doing now*
Tim: Dick, you had history with the court, do you have anything that give us any connection to them?
Dick: sure let's see *open wallet and start picking up cards* I'm an Elk, a Mason, a communist, I'm the president of the gay and lesbian alliance...
...for some reason, ah here it is! Court of owls member.
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The sword said so…
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Template made by @kdd-works
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