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#time for school have a good day everyone
myst-in-the-mirror · 11 days ago
#vent tw#or at least something like that but I’m gonna tag it anyway#recently I’ve just been feeling like everyone hates me#idk why but I just think that I’m annoying or boring pretty much every I’m talking to atm whether online or irl#or at least I think you’re perceiving me in a negative way#and it probably seems counterintuitive that I think people hate me and yet they are gonna be the ones reading this#but I feel like I have to say it somewhere idk#and other than social based stuff my mental health’s been pretty shitty at the moment#and to make it worse I’m going back to school tomorrow#and I am so so bad at communication irl so I really don’t know how I’m going to cope#I just feel like so much is going wrong at the moment but at the same time I think im making too big of a deal out of it#I mean so many people have things going on that’s worse than me#so im sorry#and im sorry to anyone I annoy or bore or if you don’t like me in any way#I really don’t mean to be like that and im just really really sorry#aksjdsjsk i just feel so disgusted with myself at the moment not for any reason but other than how I think others perceive me#amasksj I think im going to take another break from tumblr for a bit#because I think I just have to leave everything alone for a while to improve my mental health#im really sorry for bothering anyone who read this#but… um I hope anyone who reads this is having a good day anyway and im really sorry#and to the lovely couple of people who’ve messaged me today im really sorry that Im not replying rn#i swear ill reply as soon as I return to tumblr#ajsjdsjs sorry again
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gyeheons · 4 months ago
#HEAD IN HANDS#NOT ME CRYING AT 1:25AM OVER THISSSSS#T-T i finally watched the whole thing and just :((((((#we’re very different and similar hhh it’s kinda interesting#kinda not surprised to hear he’s the type to only run around within his circle >.<#feel like with high school in a small town / district everyone should probably know each other T-T#but super thankful he had a teacher looking out for him ;;;#i used to do that too in elementary tho i’d stay and help the teacher during lunch#bc i didn’t really have ‘friends’ i could rely on ;;;;#and i’m glad he has vrvr and verrers now T-T he is very precious to me#i was compiling all the songs he was listening to but it was mostly one artist bc he’s been trying to figure out how to properly mix guitar#into a song he’s working on ;;; yeonho played the guitar actually ! :o they recorded it#but he was struggling that day bc it felt obligatory fkdjfjf hhh i totally get that feeling ;-;#the fact he’s playing rainbow as the last song tho :((#and he was saying he hopes he can write a song like that please 😭😭😭#ji told me rainbow is how dream see themselves and it’s#a fan song to a certain extent hhh#and they all took part in writing it so i can totally see why he likes it so much T-T#he talked about a lot more existential / serious stuff this time i was kind of surprised T-T#he was in a good mood ! but just low energy ;;;;;#and he talked about some sad stuff too ;;;;; but said he’s an adult now so he hasn’t really cried in a while hfjdkfdjjff ;-;#but yea#not to be cheesy but it was time well spent i think ;-;#dh.fav#🍯#dongheon#i just need all the dongheon head pats on my blog it’s my language of validation djdnkfjf#verivery
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arkania · 5 months ago
#hey everyone! i hope you’re doing okay!!#i’m just ranting right now so feel free to disregard this... i have a feeling it’s not gonna be anything ummm good?#okayyy so now that you—yes you—know what you’re (kinda) getting into... here’s the rant#i’m back at school full time now with sports (lol for only 34 more days 💀) so i’m really sorry for my inactivity today#i do have a queue running so i hope that’s okay with you??? i’m really going to make an effort in my free time to be active#and before you tell me to take a break (that’s very kind of you but) tumblr and my poetry are the only things keeping me sane right now#so i’m really sorry if my poems suck or if i post less often but i’m just... yeah#school has been rough and i’m starting to feel burnt out and my teachers literally all suck. i do not care about them any more. i hate them#i have to much homework and too little time (like they realize that i have other classes and extra curricular a right?)#on top of that (lol i know right?) my friends... *sigh*#well... for years we’ve had a joke that’s literally just them bullying me#and basically everything they say sounds awful even though they’re joking#but today it just really got to me because they kept telling me that they didn’t want me around...#like i haven’t seen them in months and i know they’re kidding but they just kept saying it over and over#but because they’re joking i’m obligated to shrug it off and laugh or smile or do something to hide the fact that it actually hurt#they would stop if i asked but it’s too much of a running joke at this point to do anything about it#someone literally said it’s a trend to ‘hate’ me#it’s like my name. it’s jacqueline. i hate being called jackie but people say it anyways. it’s been years so *sigh* anyway it’s kinda#irreversible#SO BASICALLY. words do hurt. no matter the guise they’re said#andddd the whole quote the the most broken people smiling the brightest or whatever? it’s true.#anyway today was rough and i’m tired#if you’ve read this much (i’m realizing how much and damn wtf am i doing lol) i really appreciate you. thank you <3#to delete later
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iamphibolous · 3 months ago
Boss calls me in early again so I give people free items👌
I already quit and it's not like anyone checks the cameras, and they're so short staffed no one surveys me if I just. 'forget' to scan a thing occasionally :)
I feel da power >:U
#Also I promised to a coworker I'd cover tomorrow if they needed me to cuz they hav sum stuff goin on so mb I will work tomorrow#but iz okay because listen. listen. Never working here again in my life unless they magically pay 15 an hour#I SEE THE SIGNS NO ONE EVEN PAYS SCHOOL BUS DRIVERS 15 THEYSAY '14.48' LIKE WHAT THE FUCK#I HATE THIS EVERYTHING but I have the opportunity to make some people's days and that's the best thing ever :3#I already quit so like. What are they going to do? They don't have people to work here ever that's why I was called in lol#You think they're going to call the cops over a one dollar worth of nail polish or a book that a woman with alzheimers wanted? like fr? no#and that's only if I get caught :3c Everyone trusts me so much already I've always been on the mark so like. YEAH XD#This place makes hundreds every day and I get paid 7 dollars an hour so 🖕:p#AUGH another personal post in a row U.U Iz my blog sorry just working times today significant things rn#cannot wait till I can get back to quiet walks and stuff but rn I am being having a leetle fun :) I saw a pigeon too on the way home#we don't see those much it's always grackles and I saw those too. A friend told me the brown ones are juveniles#Also a person who was the embodiment of a 'dad' told me I have a really cute voice so like that's still going on#I guess???? he was there with his son and they were very polite and that's always nice. Also a music artist was there too and they had#good taste in cheap yakisobas. I'm gonna miss the cool people I get to scan up items for U.U so nice to meet so many!!!#Ah but strangers are everywhere! I've seen quite a few on my walks though the difficulty is judging if someone wants to be talked to#because some people ya know are like. they're doing their own thing they don't want to be bothered 😬 so feels bad to be a bother#but yeah I forgot what I was talking about. My cat meowed at me and she reset everything now uhhhhh um I guess that's all#Maybe LATER I can be a person Xd I regained coherency around 9 pm today at least and that's nice.#love Bonbon she is so cute <3 Though I hate the sound of her bell I might take that off her color or get her a new one#it's gotten grating for some reason I think it might be the pitch??? shrug#another goodnight! I will b alive nuther time UwU byeeeeee (ゝω・)ノ#personal
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remynisce · 16 days ago
#it’s autumn which means that I just finished watching otgw again and oh man I know everyone says how a good show it is but like#it really does have such a great ending#the last three episodes are my favorite by far. the rest of the show is charming and all but eps 8-10#we’re written flawlessly imo#were*#I never seemed to notice before how much Greg really ends up saving the day at the end most of the time huh#like at school follies he has the idea to do the band to save the school#and in ep one he figures out that his candy trail led the ‘’beast’’ to him all by himself#and then he noticed the candy in wirts jacket and threw it into the big… grinding… thing#at the side of the barn#anyways uhhh Greg is smart! I really like that about his character like he isn’t just there to be the annoying younger silly sibling#he actually gets to be the hero sometimes! and I really care him for that :)#also another funny thing that I noticed just now after rewatching it#the first time I watched otgw and I saw episode 9 I mostly identified with Wirt and didn’t seem to understand that people liked him#like I thought they were all making fun of him (because I was in a bad place where my social skills were at an all time low)#but like now watching in hindsight it’s so clear that every tease there is towards Wirt made by his friends is in good humor and that they#all clearly like him. like even Jason funderberker doesn’t seem to notice that Wirt has like a one sided rivalry with him#and I now realize that I was in wirt’s place where I thought all my friends made fun of me behind my back but like. no they were all just#joking around#it was good natured and they never resented me secretly lmao so that was an interesting discovery#anyway#I really like this show I probably will post fanart of it more often#if you haven’t somehow please watch it it’s like about an hour long and the ending is very satisfying#anyways those are my otgw thoughts thanks for coming will see you next time bye#otgw#over the garden wall#rem talks#text heavy /
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eijiroukiriot · a year ago
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the other day i typed out this thread abt the son-of-aphrodite bkg storyline i’ve already formed in my head - i sort of left out the part abt bkg being at camp for years, unclaimed and hiding that he knows who his mom is before she finally claims him but the rest is all here 
#last night i was like 'what if i WROTE THIS ALL OUT' but i don't think that's a good idea#i say staring at all my other wips#i really did come up w a whole story around this one concept though#7 year old katsuki seeing mitsuki in his dreams for the first time bc she can see he's starting to get really full of himself and wants to#have a hand in trying to stop his ego from growing so big#and the next day he goes up to masaru like 'i..had a dream about mom'#this all goes super against pjo canon bc iirc none of the mortal parents knew they had dated a god#(except sally? maybe? i feel like she knew)#but masaru sits him down and explains his entire history and why he's never met mom#bkg bounces between schools until he's like 12 purposely shutting himself away from all these new love interests mitsuki keeps flinging at#him#not only is it humiliating to have your mom the goddess of love try to control your love life it's humiliating that his mom is the goddess o#f love in the first place#things get bad w the mist when he's in middle school so he goes to live at camp full time#not that he doesn't like living w his dad he just sees himself as too much of a danger#so ofc because he's been at camp year round since he was 12 everyone knows him and everyone wants to know who his parent is#and why they haven't claimed him yet#mitsuki meanwhiie keeps appearing in his dreams to let him explain to her WHY he doesn't want people to know#stubborn boy with his own bunk in the hermes cabin#some people think he IS a son of hermes which makes him gag but is admittedly kind of better#so mitsuki waits and waits and then the summer after katsuki turns 16 this new kid shows up and bkg is clearly whipped for him#(at first i was thinking she'd have a moment like 'oh THAT'S why he didn't like any of the girls i sent him' but she'd figure that out early#(like she tries matching him up w girls when he's 11 but then realizes her mistake)#and the prophecy for the quest kirishima's about to embark on clearly calls for an aphrodite kid so she's like ENOUGH WAITING it's time#she didn't have to go that hard on the claiming though tsk tsk#kirishima's already gay she didn't have to make bkg glow pink and have a soundtrack for 3 days#these tags are sooooo long i really did think posting the thread would encapsulate all my thoughts huh#lmao anyway ty for reading if you're still heree#thoughts
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s0locrxckwitch · 2 months ago
i feel guilty about skipping school tomorrow and i dont like it
#we were meant to finsih our pizzas today and ugh my dough was so good and i dont want to leave it there and i also dont wanna leave my#friend to do it on her own because the thought makes me sad???? and i dont like being sad???? so??????#like the pictire of it makes me recline into a fetus position mentally#i didnt promise anything but it was sO fun last time and it actually felt like i could have fun with her for once and like?? ugh#emorions i cant deal with this rn#and i have NO idea how to make myself better because i also know that i wont be able to do aNYTHIGN for as long as this stupid thought is#still being thought of#because she literally ha sno one else to do it with and we always have the back of the kitchen to ourselves#but i guess its kinda selfish to assume that she depends on my company like i dpeend on hers#im rambling again but ive had my notifs off for today and i wont be checking them yet since i was busy but#AND THATS TUPID DOUGH#MY INSANE ATATTCHEMTN TO INANIMATE OBJECTS DIDNT HAVE TO COME OUT NOW OH PLEASE#i feel like im disappointing everyone??? even though i know they wont be?? theres still guilt?? bro idek#yea im greatful that im able to get off of school for atleats ONE day and sleep in FINALLY but oh my god did it have ot be on a day like fr#frisay*#my spellings going to be horrible but i cant be bothered going over eveyrhting#LIEK WHAT DO ID O??? I DOT WANT TO LIE MY WAY OUT OF THIS TOO BUT I KINDA HAVE TO#lie as in lie to myself#im#cryin in da club#thots#rant#(?)#sorry if i clog up your dash#take a bird egg as compensation
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pasttorn · 8 months ago
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      -- SHORP. mega quick update on what’s up with me & a mini announcement that i’d LOVE if y’all could spare a couple minutes to look through ( & maybe consider joining or sharing with a friend y’all feel would be interested ! ). 
        -- EVEN if y’all don’t care about me as a mun / blog, at least skim the announcement section bc it’s important to me & where i am rn ! 
     UPDATE ! !
       -- SINCE december, i’ve started college ! ! the saving up year of college at least, bc the college i’m in has this thing where if we don’t have enough money to pay for the tuition fee ( which rly is just, money for us to spend throughout our first year & our trips & other expenses like food or gasoline ) we can join the saving up year & they’ll give us a job to earn the money. & while i was a bit more free before, they finally found a job for me at the canteen, which means i’m off cooking with the head chef for literally the entire day for the whole campus-- which is largely the reason i haven’t written much or said anything here ! !
      -- I’M trying as hard as i can to manage my time better in order to not be so tired / drained at the end of the day, in order to try to write something here or spend time with closer rp friends, but between moving to a new place ( since i’m living in the campus now, which is in a whole different country to where i was ! ) & getting used to the job & getting to know my teammates / classmates that i’m gonna be working with the next four+ years, it’ll take me a lil’ bit longer to try to get this blog up & running again. 
       -- FOR those wondering, i’m NOT dropping this blog & i’m not dropping any of the threads / asks i have saved up unless my rp partners don’t wanna keep writing them anymore, because this blog is too important for me to just give it up, but i am gonna be quiet / on a mini hiatus a lil’ bit longer. if any ship partners ( be it platonic or romantic ) that have a close relation w/ my muse want to break things up & move on, then even though it’d sadden me to see it end, i’d understand, because i cannot guarantee i’ll be the most active in plotting or thinking about our muses relationships & it might take some more time before i can go back to ‘ normal ‘ here-- but if y’all are willing to wait a bit longer, then i’d love it if we could continue it. if you don’t, then please tell me so we can make changes at some point because the last thing i want is for y’all to feel i’m neglecting you or your muse, which is not my intention & i apologise if i ever made y’all feel that way.
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       -- TIME to promote the college i’m currently studying at ! ! or am gonna be studying at in september, at least ishuegrdfmkcvx. the college is DNS Necessary Teacher’s Training Programme, & it’s a college dedicated to training teachers ! ! honestly i’ve only been in the campus for a month now, & from the chats i’ve had with people from other years & from graduates & from my teammates in general, i can already tell it’s gonna be a worth it sort of experience. in their own words, we’re all not looking to be the ‘ traditional ‘ type of teachers, & are learning by experiencing & travelling-- the first year we travel to africa, & in the second year we ( your school year team ) picks a country in europe to live in & work in ! ! 
       -- IF you don’t have enough money, that’s alright ! you can join the saving up year, & earn the money here yourself ( & in the chance you don’t make enough, the team is here to pay the difference if we can ). if you’re worried you’re too young or too old for the programme, let me just tell you that in the 2021 school team ( the year i’m in ) the ages range from 18 to 27. if you’re worried about previous experiences, just know that this my first time in a college or even getting a job, & we’re all ! ! willing to help with anything as a team. all you really need is the drive to be committed to the programme & to the team-- because you are going to be busy almost all day, & it might get tough to deal with sometimes, & you need to know what you’re comfortable with or are not comfortable with doing.
       -- I was very nervous before coming bc rly, i’m an introverted fool that still doesn’t know what i want out of life even though i’m 21 & should know at this point, & even had a breakdown the first night i got here bc i was in a new place on my own & didn’t know what the fuck i was getting into & was so afraid of disappointing everyone, but god everyone here is super welcoming & understanding about everything. since the month i’ve been here, i’ve made friends that also very much love anime, have found out that sexuality ( or the lack thereof ) is openly discussed & accepted, there’s a D&D group & there’s just, a bunch of creativity everywhere. & yeah, it can be overwhelming sometimes, but there’s always someone in the team who would be willing to spend time with you & to help you out with whatever you may need, because in the end we’re all dealing with the same things. i’ve even gotten along with people from other school years ( that started their studies in 2020 or 2018 ), & honestly you can’t even tell they’re in a different year at times bc everyone is always so kind & open about everything.
     -- I’M not gonna lie, i’ve only been here a month for the saving up, & so far all of this feels like a real life acnh adventure, where everyone in the team is the mayor. wild comparison but everyone is so welcoming & we all live in the campus & see each other every day, that it really feels like interacting with other villagers & the money we make goes to maintaining the college / the community / our team, so it very much feels like i’m the mayor / mc in anch trying to decorate the island / make it better idK
          LINKS to check out ! ! 
Quick 3 min video ! ! ! pls watch ! ! !
       -- IF you have any questions about the programme or what it’s like to study here, pls don’t be afraid to hit me up in DM’s either on here or on disc//ord ( SHORP#8549 ) ! ! i’d be more than happy to answer any questions or share images / videos bc god, it’d be so cool if one of y’all or someone y’all know would be interested in the programme ! 
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psikhika · 4 months ago
#justgirlythings making yourself vomit in the school bathrooms then going back to algebra w/ 4st 7lb playing in ur headphones
#i got really good at having a disciplined ed in 11/12 grade. everyone knew something was wrong w me just not exactly what#bc i refused to go to therapy (hate being vulnerable bc anyone could leave any time) and didn’t take my meds (fear of gaining weight)#and all of my art projects (3/4 of my jr/sr yrs) were explicitly about having an eating disorder/being suicidal/self harming#and maybe 2/20 of the sr teachers at my hs noticed/cared so like. 10%? of my year?#so like...4% of the total instructors & my hs lol#i miss james from algebra who i had a crush on that had a crush on me where we bonded over self harm#i hope he’s ok. i miss him. he ran track and told me he kept a sweatband+a watch over his self harm scars#and tried to bleed out in a bathtub once. it was relatable and i’ve never wanted to kiss a boy more#according to his friend who was also in our algebra class he liked me too but didn’t wanna act on it bc he was suicidal. and i was like same#i can see his face now. he was so handsome. he probably still is. i wish i had said something then#but i think we were both too unstable to really healthily say anything to each other then#doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt though. he came to school in a crop top for a spirit week day once and i wanted to tell him i liked him then#but. my massive fear of rejection + me being a pisces (lol)? too scary. never could have done it.#he was the same boy that asked if i wanted to get high with him on my off hour. i wish i had said yes then. i would say yes now.#james if you can hear me. txt me#uhhhhhhhh#ask to tag
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the [redacted for being sad] reminds me of in seventh grade when we asked the (awesome) english teacher why she had an acting degree and she said "we all had dreams once"
Here lies squidward's hopes and dreams
#personal#I mean the story behind it isn't like. THAT sad in the grand scheme of things#so I can tell it I just didn't feel like wasting more tags on something that was gonna make me sad#but if u want the full unredacted story here goes (it's v long):#my school never taught drama while I was there just bc there was no budget for it#there wasn't even a drama club for most of my time there#if I was really determined to take it I would have had to travel to another school several times a week#which I was willing to do. like. the other schools weren't that far away#but somehow my mother thought this would be an incredible burden on her? somehow?#bc she really didn't want me going to study drama for several reasons#but tried to be sneaky about it and be like ''well here's this drama club in the town centre u can go to! :)''#and just kind of hoped that would be enough for me and that I wouldn't notice what she did#I just never brought it up again bc I knew I wasn't gonna get any support#ngl to this day I'm annoyed that she insulted my intelligence like that and that what I wanted didn't matter but we move#and that drama club was fun. went to it for like 3 years until I graduated and made some good friends#but as time went by and I got into a deeper spiral feeling useless and in a panic about my future and lack of passion#generally feeling like my future wasn't worth living#that feeling really started to fester and I just felt like shit forever#the last time I went to the drama club everyone was just chatting about how they wanted to get into acting#and all the auditions they had for stuff and I had to work so hard to hide the fact that I wanted to cry#bc I wanted that so desperately#I was going into a course I had 0 passion for. could see no future in for myself. didn't even think I was capable of completing#major Oof moment#*bdg voice* give up on your dreams of becoming an actor. you gotta give up on your dreams (clap clap)#the good news is that this doesn't really have a miserable ending#time has passed. I'm doing different stuff. I'm doing a course I'm 1. interested in 2. that has a future and 3. I'm decent at#and I'm actually okay with the life I'm currently living. I actually want a nice future in the games industry#and to have. like. a nice lil flat w a lil succulent plant and shit#both the big things and the little things about my future no longer bum me tf out#I'm just generally doing okay!! And I'm completely fine not studying drama for a lot of reasons
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