#time stopping abilities

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[lotus-pear]

it actually pisses me off sm when there is a scene where an aggressor shoots at dazai and chuuya takes the bullet and dies trying to save him and has an elaborate death scene where he's bleeding out in dazai's arms and choking out his last words because we all fucking know man would just step in front of dazai and kick the bullets back to the shooter using gravity manipulation before saying smth snarky like "you can kys when we get back from the job."

#skk angst is always like the biggest hit or miss for me bc half the time it just doesn't even fucking make sense #i hate when theres scenes of chuuya getting gunned down or stabbed bc theoretically unless he has his guard down that would NEVER happen #like the only reason shirase was able to get him is bc chuuya trusted him #but like he isnt just gonna let some random gangster stab him. he can stop that w his ability #if anyone's taking bullets it's dazai?? bc he can't deflect them?? or stop them?? so the sacrifice is meaningful??? #SIGH sorry i think i accidentely found myself on the wrong side of bsdumblr. (the skk mischaracterization side) #bsd #skk

[onehundredfallenpetals]

A change of trains, an unexpected companion on the way home

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #shuake #akeshu #amamiya ren #p5 joker #goro akechi #akechi goro #persona 5 protagonist #p5r #kurusu akira #akira kurusu #I am late on my posting schedule again!! Sorry!! My brain is wanting me to do studies but if I do studies I don't finish the piece on time #but if I don't do studies I also don't finish the piece in time because my stupid brain and ability to analyse is telling me I can improve #Also real glad I added the silhouette person in there #makes the train feel like there are more people than just shuake on board #Story for this one is Akechi catching up with Akira when he has to change trains + wait a bit for the next train to come #He gets on the same train as Akira and looks for him in the train cars #Akira has already fallen asleep cause he's been on a train for hours so Akechi wormed his way in #and is shushing Mona to not wake him so he can surprise Akira when he wakes up at his stop at home! #Also took Akira's glasses off for him so he's not sleeping in them

[onaperduamedee]

For my part I have sought liberty more than power, and power only because it can lead to freedom. What interested me was not a philosophy of the free man (all who try that have proved tiresome), but a technique: I hoped to discover the hinge where our will meets and moves with destiny, and where discipline strengthens, instead of restraining, our nature.

— Memoirs of Hadrian by Marguerite Yourcenar, translated from the French by Grace Frick

#the wheel of time #siuan sanche #wot edit #wot on prime #clever as a pike #mygifs #mine: wot #you know what I will stop fiddling with it #I wanted a certain vibe I think I achieved it #I picked the wrong copy of the book without my annotations so it took me ages to find the quote #ANYWAY #yes please talk to me about about Siuan and power #Siuan dreaming of a home like her father's hut #knowing it'll ever be just a dream because her power and stability depend on the appearance of power she conveys #she's a prisoner of the Tower but the world depends on her control on it #she's an heretic but her heresy hinges on her ability to follow the law #to be the law #yes I know someday I will stop making Yourcenar-inspired fandom gifsets and tearing my hair to find translations #but the temptation was too great to quote from this because she's such a political being at heart yet driven by such dedication to humanity

[iwasbored777]

Pavitr when Gwen tells him that her spider sense lets her know whenever something bad is about to happen to Miles

#actually I'm not sure if she's gonna tell anyone that especially pavitr cuz he would ship so hard his heart would stop beating #and others will forever make jokes about that they will never leave her alone #miles too #so she will take that secret to her grave #and whenever someone suspects that she has that ability bc she somehow knows every time she'll deny it #spider man across the spider verse #pavitr prabhakar #gwen stacy #across the spiderverse #Spiderverse #meme #miles morales #gwiles #ghostflower

[mightydragoon]

Spoilers for Danny Phantom A Glitch In Time

I'm sorry I'm just going to cry here for a moment and just look at these two pages forever. Okay. This just means a lot to me.

Yo Danny Fenton was just fourteen.

#this page is just peek danny phantom #the exploration of trauma and in ability to be completely whole again #this page just made me stop and near cry #especially with the mirror images of danny and phantom #this is good food #and the best part is it's fucking canon #danny phantom #dp #a glitch in time #danny phantom a glitch in time #danny phantom a glitch in time spoilers #a glitch in time spoilers #danny phantom spoilers #yeah never thought i would see the day where i would have to tag danny phantom spoilers #danny fenton #the ghost zone

[personishfive]

in which joker is a multi-talented trickster indeed

#persona 5 #p5 #joker p5 #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #my art #im delighted by the existence of the third eye. and also obsessed with the existence of the thieves den. #every time i lose in tycoon (which is not often. just so we're on the same page.i always win (real)) it's totally joker's fault. #have less faith in your friends' ability to play cards!! smh. cognition. #i have some fun gomic ideas bouncing in my brain.i just need college to stop kicking my ass. but for now: the joker #comics

[bumblingbabooshka]

Headcanon that Seven of Nine and Naomi actually find Neelix’s cooking to be fine because it’s the only food they’ve ever eaten/their first introduction to food and when they get to Earth everyone’s so excited to show them Alpha quadrant foods but neither of them likes anything they’re offered very much. Seven doesn’t really care either way except that she has to get used to a whole new palette and Naomi likes the obvious (Ex: candy, cake) but frequently complains that nothing tastes ‘right’. Naomi: -pushing away a slice of pizza- I don’t like it... Tom: You’re kidding me. You don’t like pizza? Naomi: It doesn’t taste right! Make it how Neelix used to. Tom: You want me to put gerhalorian beets and yuk mushrooms in the sauce so it congeals into a lumpy, slightly sour mess? Is that what you want, Naomi? Naomi: Yeah :(  I want Naomi and Icheb to work tirelessly together on a side project for years until finally doing it - being able to communicate clearly with those in the Delta quadrant! Icheb uses it to speak to the other borg children (now adults) and Naomi immediately uses it to call Neelix and ask him to find the nearest time portal and toss a big box of leola root into it. She’s been craving it for years! No one told her the Alpha quadrant didn’t have leola root, she wouldn’t have gone otherwise!

#Naomi's suffering through the worst case of 'food you had ALL the time as a kid but can't get as an adult' #Her next goal is constructing some way for ships to pass through the quadrants quickly and safely so Neelix can come visit her and also #Voyager's crew can stop getting themselves hopelessly lost and presumed dead out there #Naomi's favorite joke is that if she knew the alpha quadrant had/didn't have X she wouldn't have come! Her mom doesn't love it v_v #st voyager #Naomi Wildman #Seven of Nine #Neelix #I also think every member of the crew has a certain food they really loved but can never eat again v_v either bc alpha quad doesn't have the #ingredients or the replication abilities or bc it was something that was given as a gift by a delta quad alien or Neelix was only able to #make it once etc #I believe Neelix's cooking is a mixed bag. Some of his dishes are earnestly not good and some of them are for a palette that #the crew doesn't have...but after seven years you develop a palette. Like they still PREFER alpha quadrant food but every so often they're #like DAMN...do you remember when Neelix made-? and it's always a happy conversation #OH and also he has limited ingredients bc of Voyager's situation and doesn't know what the human foods they ask for are or what they should #taste like so it's trial and error babey!!!

[americankimchi]

wish i knew what to do with this helpless frustration i feel every time i see people vilify the jedi for their way of life when the person doing the vilification doesn't even understand them properly. it's one thing to criticize and dislike them if you have an accurate picture of who they were and what they're trying to do vs. hating them because you straight up don't understand them at all 😭

#personal #this isn't vagueposting i'm just tired of seeing it every time i go in the tags or on youtube or on ao3 #literally if you boil the jedi down to the essentials it's just #''these are psychic empath space wizards wandering around the galaxy trying to establish a higher quality of life for everyone'' #a bunch of aragorns except anduril is a beaming blade of plasma #or gandalf with the ability to do backflips #the only hard rule they have is ''thou shalt not add misery to the world where you can remove it'' #everything else is just interpretations on that theme #''they're cold and unfeeling and they HATED ANAKIN and BAN LOVE'' #like WHERE in the WORLD are you getting this information #WHEREEEEE #SHOW ME YOUR SOURCESSSS #and don't say ''they ban attachments'' without understanding what that MEANS #ATTACHMENTS =/= LOVE #ATTACHMENTS ARE CHAINS THAT YOU USE TO DRAG OTHERS DOWN WITH YOU #YOU KNOW THE SAYING IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING YOU WILL LET IT GO? THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL IT IS. #and where are u getting that they hated anakin do you think he'd be so torn up about betraying them all in ep 3 #if he was surrounded by people who hated him for over a decade like mans was IN TEARS #HE LOVED AND WAS LOVED BY THEM IN TURN #IT JUST WASN'T ENOUGH TO SAVE THEM IN THE END BECAUSE #CRUCIALLY #HIS ATTACHMENT TO PADME DRAGGED HER AND THEM AND EVERYONE ELSE DOWN WITH HIM #stop stripping anakin of his agency he made a CHOICE #star wars is ALL ABOUT CHOICE. THE CHOICE TO FALL IN EP 3. AND THE CHOICE TO RISE AGAIN IN EP 6. #like cmon fellas..... fellas cmon........

[sincerely-sofie]

Brainstorming a protagonist for the Dugtrio Day AU

Meet Echo, everybody!

#‘SOFIE YOU CAN’T MAKE EVERY SINGLE PROTAGONIST OF YOURS EVOLVE IN WEIRD AND UNUSUAL WAYS’ #haha atypical evolutions go brrrrrr #Echo is between an umbreon and espeon because she’s constantly using passages of time that she’s found to skip between locations #she’s unlocked fast travel and she makes good use of it #and this throws off her exposure to sunlight and moonlight #so when it’s time to determine whether or not it’s day or night when she’s evolving the universe kinda just shrugs bc that’s a whole mess #Also! #She eventually loses her ability to evolve whatsoever #Palkia was pulling some strings to make it so she could #but at one point Echo just stops connecting with others and the lack of strong friendships means she can’t evolve #technically she could still find a stone or something. but that’s way too much time loss to justify #drawing this unlocked memories of my days as a warrior cats fanartist #Dugtrio Day AU #stuff by sofie #pokémon mystery dungeon #pmd #pmd sky #pmd explorers #pmd eos #pmd2 #pmd au #pmd oc #pmd ocs #pokemon mystery dungeon

[littledreamling]

Stop Asking Neil Gaiman About Fanfiction Challenge 2022

#some of yall just can’t fathom an author who has no wish (nor the ability) to interact with fanfiction of his own works #he’s said multiple times that he’s not allowed to read it nor does he want to #it’s literally none of his business #he supports you writing fics but he literally cannot do anything beyond that #he can’t read it; he can’t interact with it; he can’t reblog it; he can’t do ANYTHING #stop asking #stop askingg #stop askinggg #dear god y’all #i love the fandoms that Neil’s works have created but sometimes y’all drive me CRAZY #Neil Gaiman #please know this isn’t out of hatred or disrespect to anyone in fandom #but it’s disrespectful to Neil to constantly ask him about stuff he’s stated multiple times that he’s not allowed to see #just stick to your own little bubble in the fandom and go hog wild with your fics #and be glad he doesn’t read your stuff #him staying separated from that side of the fandom is as good for you as it is for him #it’s in everyone’s best interest if he keeps that layer of separation #enjoy fics! enjoy writing fics! enjoy reading and sharing fics! but leave Neil out of it #please for the love of god

[moghedien]

when I tell you I would commit federal crimes for Michiru's backstory from her pov....

#girl got psychic powers and super powers and the ability to transform into a cosmic super soldier with absolutely no help from a talking cat #and then got visions of the apocalypse coming to get everyone and the universe was like 'you fix this' #and the whole time she was having a seemingly unrelated crush on a girl from another school but keeping her distance for everyone's sake #then she finds out that her gay crush is actually someone she's destined to be with #but for that to happen she also has to go and uproot Haruka's entire life and make her give up everything she's ever dreamed of #but also if she DOESN'T do that the world is gonna end #and so she starts projecting into Haruka's dreams because she has to do SOMETHING #and she tries to meet with Haruka and confront her because 1) she does genuinely want to be with Haruka #but also 2) the world will literally end if they don't stop it #but even as Haruka is like about to gain the ability to transform and awaken she STILL stops her #because even wanting to be with Haruka and knowing that they need to be together #isn't enough to make her ok with ruining Haruka's life #I GO FERAL OVER THIS #sailor neptune #sailor uranus #michiru kaioh #haruka tenou #long post #sailor moon

[onebizarrekai]

I'm trudging through the dsasks tag and I'm sorry it stands for WHAT???? AFTERMATH HANDS????

#it's like a badly translated stand ability #you might as well call them the corpse cleanup crew #random stuff #remember when 'save the multiverse from suffering' meant a small faction of 30 people targeting random gangs and miniature cults #did it ever really stop being that #how did they have time to arrest random individuals who got framed for things or accidentally caused disturbances #I'm sorry what about all the war crimes and famine and poverty and disease and evil dictators in the world MR DS DREAM #ds is comically surreal

[milkweedman]

Needed something to do last night bc I couldn't sleep, and spinning takes about a million times less brain power than knitting or crochet, so now I'm working on this.

Its from a 2.8 ounce batt that I had labeled southdown Romney blend, and I'm 99% sure that what I was told it was when I bought it (I remember thinking how much I love a good southdown blend), but when I finally unrolled the batt last night it had a label that said Suffolk hampshire blend. I think that's what this is--it feels 100% down breed rather than a down and strong wool blend. Honestly I probably still would have bought it as a hampshire blend, so I don't mind that much.

No clue what to do with it. It's not soft but the prep wouldn't do for socks, which is my usual idea for coarse down wool. It's also got a much darker section that I've been trying to decide how to feature (if it's worth doing at all).

#Supported spindle #Supported spinning #Hampshire #Suffolk #Super bad painsomnia last night n then it's finally morning #And as soon as my mom (she's visiting) got up she wanted us both to do chores #And I by the time I finished that and was sitting down with my coffee I was very relieved and in tons of pain #And then proceeded to spill my coffee all over the armchair I was sitting in and had to spend another hour #Cleaning it up. By which point I was in too much pain to speak and just wanted to go lay down in bed where I might stop making messes #And then having to clean them up. And thankfully that has been the case. Am pretty much done with the ability to do anything else today #So I am just gonna try and spin and not make anything worse #I probably would prefer something rly colorful to spin today but I don't have anything prepped already... and that would be too much effort #So gray down batt it is

[jazzy-a]

Source: Brandon Rogers JKJkjkj

(If you couldn't tell, I originally only had 2k12 on this >D<)

#TMNT #Teenage Mutant ninja turtles #TMNT 2012 #TMNT 1987 #TMNT 2003 #TMNT RISE #Rottmnt #master splinter #Eh personally I haven't watched 87 or rise- not into it? sorry not sorry???? #I watched a bit of 03 but 2012 was the one I actually binged #But I just couldn't stop thinking about doing this so I threw all of them into it #Do u like how carefully I cut out all their faces? And wasn't sloppy at all? And clearly spent so much time on this?? #Let's face it-- only 87 and 03 Splinter REALLY had this problem with their turtles #2012 and Rise you can absolutely tell apart without outfits on hahaha #The fact that I have the ability to make good edits and CHOOSE not to is really my greatest strength