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#time to consume my body weight in meat and mead!
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The Smiling One Recipes #1: The Stew from Chapter 10
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Hey guys!  I know we’re all still recovering from the nightmare that was chapter 10, but for a little interactive game to ease tensions and also display how absolutely mad I am, I decided  I wanted to share some of the food eaten in The Smiling One, and Chapter 10 happens to be the first time I give a simpler recipe: a one-pot rabbit stew.  It’s a modified version of the traveler’s stew from Heroes’ Feast, but it’s absolutely a good, hearty meal that is very comforting if, say, the writer of the fanfic you’re 10 chapters into just served you a massive gut-punch cliffhanger without any remorse.
Now I wanna give a few fair warnings before we really start because although this stew is simple, I know not everyone is very versed in cooking:
Make sure you are as mentally prepped as you are physically prepped.  Stew is simple but it is also extremely time consuming and labor intensive.  If you don’t have the spoons to cook, don’t force yourself to cook.
Make sure you know your ingredients before you go get them.  If you’re like me and can’t get a hold of or afford an ingredient, find a substitution.  I’ll have a few listed that I used for the sake of helping you guys out.  Just be aware it will change the end-result slightly.
Prep in advance and clean as you go.  The nice thing about stew is there are long periods where you’re not really doing much and that is the perfect time to get some cleaning done, provided all your other ingredients were already prepared and set aside for when you need them.  If you need to cut something, cut it before you start; it’ll save you a ton of time.  I’ll have the prep included in the recipe.
Cooking is more of an art than a science.  If you think something should be removed, added, or modified, feel free to do so.  You don’t need to work in exacts.
Alright with all that in mind, let’s get into ingredients.  For the stew, you’ll need the following:
¼ cup all-purpose flour
1 ½ pounds cremini mushrooms (if you cannot find these, use white button mushrooms, they’re the same species)
1 ½ pounds rabbit (rabbit is hard to find, if needed, chicken thighs of the same weight can be substituted)
4 tbsp vegetable oil (this is how much I used, you may need more or less depending)
1 cup mead/red wine*
4 cups of bone broth (chicken preferably)
1 teaspoon sweet paprika
1 large yellow onion
2 russet potatoes (if you want to use yukon gold potatoes, use 3)
2 carrots
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*A note on cooking with wine and mead: Wine comes in a lot of types based on grape and aging process.  I used zinfandel because I actually drink that wine, but it’s actually not very good for cooking with lighter meats.  Merlot is usually the wine recommended, I just don’t like merlot and don’t want to waste wine.  Mead should, obviously, not be carbonated, and keep in mind that while wine will add a fruity body to the drink, mead will add a sweetness.  If you wanna go for fic accuracy, in the chapter the alcohol being used is probably mead.
The first step in this process is prep, which is the second most labor-intensive part of the recipe:
Wash, stem, and cut your mushrooms into bite-sized pieces.  Mushrooms are almost always really dirty so make absolutely sure you’ve washed them thoroughly (I’m bad at that don’t be me).  Put the mushrooms in their own bowl.
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Peel and chop your carrots into 1/2-inch slices.
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Peel and chop your onion, the cut job doesn’t need to be pretty, it just needs to be small enough to cook through.  I’m really bad at cutting onions so stew allows me to hide my mistakes.
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Peel and chop your potatoes into roughly 1-inch pieces.  Put the potatoes, onions, and carrots in the same bowl they go in at the same time.
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If you’re using rabbit, like Drizzt you may have to skin/debone/cut the meat yourself, same with the chicken.  I managed to get ahold of boneless, skinless chicken thighs so all I had to do was cut it into bite-sized pieces.
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Once all your food is prepped, it’s time to cook!
Pre-Cook Your Mushrooms
Heat 1 tbsp of vegetable oil in a large pot on medium-high, heat until shimmering (I’m using a cast-iron dutch oven, they’re an indispensable part of any kitchen really).
Shimmering: Not smoking, not bubbling, just hot enough to be very fluid and water should evaporate when flicked into it.
Add your mushrooms and cook them until the liquid is released and evaporated.  Transfer them into a bowl and set aside.
Note: Mushrooms release liquid when heated, you MUST pre-cook them or you’ll make the stew watery.
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Brown Your Meat:
Mix flour, pepper, salt, and a little paprika into a bowl and add your meat, toss the meat in the flour mixture until fully coated.
Add another tbsp of oil to the pot and heat until shimmering.
Add your meat in batches so as to not overcrowd.  You’re just browning the meat so it does not need to be fully cooked.  Make sure each piece is browned on all sides and transfer into a bowl before starting the next batch.  Add oil as needed.  When the meat is all browned, set the bowl aside.
This part of the recipe is labor-intensive and takes a decent amount of time, be prepped for that.
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Cooking the Stew Proper:
Add your wine, then use it to scrape off any pieces of chicken or mushroom stuck to the bottom of the pot.  This is called deglazing and it gives you something to do while the alcohol cooks off the wine.  Not cooking off the alcohol just makes your stew taste like booze and that’s not great.
Add your meat, broth, and paprika, bring to a simmer, then lower the heat and cover.
Let cook for 1 ½ to 2 hours.  This is the part of cooking that’s a bit of a waiting game, it’s a good time to clean up any messes you’ve left or do other chores (or be me and write down the process of cooking a stew you made specifically because you don’t know how to stop investing way too much time and spoons into a fanfiction, I’m not your mom).
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Add the onions, carrots, potatoes, and mushrooms and continue to cook for about 30 minutes.
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Serve hot and add salt and pepper as needed/desired.
I like stew with sourdough bread so I went out and bought some, you don’t need to do that, serve it however you like and enjoy!  I’m gonna go lie down.
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I HAVE LEVELLED UP TO 30!
THEY SAY YOU'RE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL...
FUCK...
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Salvation (Michael Langdon x OC)
Pairing: Michael Langdon x Original Character
Word Length: 2.3k~
Warnings: None
Summary: Desperation makes the worst of us, but at least he’s here to make it all better. 
Masterlist! 
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Going into the unknown would scare anybody, and Julie was no exception.
It was dark and chilly in the barren corridors of Outpost 3 and Julie really wished she had put on socks- though they were bare threads that wouldn’t give much warmth.
There were no Grey’s in sight, and it was almost calming to have no one around. She had always been a bit of a hermit, so she enjoyed the silence. But she wasn’t alone, was she.
She had been following him- she wasn’t sure it was a him, but it was easier than calling him it- for around five minutes when the familiar tapping of Ms. Venable’s cane echoed through the hall.
There were no rooms to hide in, seeing as they were on the first floor and all the rooms were on the second, and her heart rate grew faster as the noise grew closer.
She let out a small yelp when a black hand reach forward and pulled her into the wall, latex hand covering her mouth and pulling her against its strong body. She felt his front press into her back and felt the deep inhale he took when his head found the curve of her neck.
She started to squirm when the light from Venable’s candle lit the dark hallway in the corner of her eye, knowing that being caught would be a death sentence. The squirming intensified as tears started to pool in her eyes, but the black creature simply would his other hand around her midsection, fingers sliding down and digging into her pelvic bone.
She whimpered when he ground his prominent erection into the back of her dress, muffled grunts and growls emitting from the mask and echoing in her ear. She couldn’t escape the strong hold as Ms. Venable walked into view, eyes glaring forward with the candlelight flickering under chin.
And she walked right by them, as if they were never there. Venable never once acknowledged their presence, not once turning to them and screaming at the compromising position she was in.
And Julie didn’t complain when the latex man that had protected her from Venable’s wrath pressed its clothed erection against her in jerky motions, as if he was coming underneath the suit.
He breathed deeply into her neck while coming down from the presumable high, taking in as much of her scent as it could. His strong hands released her and she was allowed to walk forward and out of the warm embrace, turning around to get a better, much closer look.
But then he was gone, no latex covered body to be seen. Her eyes darted around the temperate hallway, but there he was nowhere to be seen.
It was a silent and quick trip back to her room, and she touched herself for the first time in months to the feel of his erect cock pressing into her back. Her eyes closed as she came onto her fingers, never seeing the looming black figure watching from the ceiling.
~
“I knocked on your door last night but you didn’t answer. Where were you?” Mallory had come to sit next to Julie, and watched her with eager eyes.
But she just tried to shrug her off, “I heard you but I was just really tired. What did you need?”
Mallory leaned in, “Gallant said they killed Stu. He told me not to tell anyone but I love gossip and he knows that.” She squinted her eyes and smirked, “I saw you last night. You were outside your room.”
Julie quickly grabbed Mallory’s hand and pulled her close, “Mallory please, don’t tell anyone.”
“Why? You didn’t go outside did you?”
“No, no, of course not.” Julie leaned in closer and spoke directly in the Grey’s ear. “I saw someone outside my room. “
Mallory was intrigued, “Who was it?” But Julie just shrugged, “No idea. They were covered in black latex, couldn’t see his face.”
Mallory nodded and pulled back, cringing when Coco commanded she come and refill her mineral water, glaring daggers at Julie for stealing away her Grey.
~
Dinner was a tense time; Coco spouting about nonsense of Stu being boring and deserving to die and Andre hoping she was killed next. Julie sat between Timothy and Emily, and shot them both concerned looks.
Andre spat, “I hope they come for you next.”
“No one will be coming for anybody, not unless they break the rules.” Julie’s head dropped when Ms. Mead spoke, still very uncomfortable around the woman.
Venable spoke up as trays were wheeled in, “This is a difficult time for everyone. As a small consolation, we have a special treat.”
The inhabitants of Outpost 3 watched as a large pot was wheeled in, a Grey lifting the lid to reveal a steamy stew. “Enjoy the bonne bouche.”
The Gray’s ladled the stew into the Purple’s bowls until each one had a full bowl, ready to be slurped.
Julie’s soup was full of meaty looking chunks and smelled better than any gelatin cube, and she looked to Coco when she claimed having an orgasm in her mouth after one bite.
Her hand lifted the spoon and scooped up a large chunk with a bit of broth, ready to enjoy the first warm meal in weeks when a voice like an angel rang through her head.
Stop.
The spoon stopped midway to her mouth, and Julie looked around the table to see if anyone else had heard the voice, or if maybe someone there had spoken aloud to her. She shrugged it off- maybe it was the isolation getting to her- and tried to take the first bite once more.
I said, stop.
“Why?” Timothy gave her a look when spoke aloud, and she went red when she realized she’d spoken aloud to a voice in her head. Ms. Venable gave her a look akin to a mother to a disobedient child.
“Aren’t you going to eat? You don’t want it to get cold.”
Julie gave her a tight nod but the damage had already been done. She didn’t have the chance to taste it when Andre stood up and screamed something that made her want to vomit,
“The stew is Stu!”
Everyone, aside from Mead, Venable and Evie- who all continued to eat the ‘Stew’- immediately spit out what they’d consumed and were in various states of panic.
Venable rolled her eyes and took another bite, “For heavens sake, don’t be ridiculous. There are lines that can never be crossed and not eating people is of the first rank.”
“I don’t care what it is, it’s absolutely divine. And it’s full of fiber! I’m going to finish every last drop.” She took another bite and Julie wanted to smack her on the back of the head when Andre let out another wail.
~
The group of survivors sat in the parlor, Andre sobbing into Dinah Stevens shoulder as Evie defended herself as to not being a Cannibal.
“It was chicken, Andre. Delicious white meat chicken.”
But he insisted through tears “You’re a cannibal.” He screamed, “You’re all cannibals!” Dinah calmed him down, made him try to see any reason that it wasn’t Stu.
Julie sat on the couch, trying to edge away from the commotion, but did look up when Emily commanded all of their attention.
“Shut up! Shut up!”
They all watched as she stood, and Julie heard it too, or better yet- didn’t hear it. “The song stopped.” But she spoke too soon and the radio let out a click and started again, but was different than before.
There’s got to be a morning after~
Gallant was up and looked giddy, “They’ve been playing the same song for two three weeks, why would they change it all of a sudden?”
If we can hold on through the night~
Gallant burst into song in tune with the words and danced over to Julie, lifting her up and swinging her across the room with glee.
“Don’t you get it!?” He pulled Julie close, nose to nose before swinging her back to her original position. “The Cooperative is trying to tell us something! They’re saying, “Hang on. Were coming for you.”
The entire room jumped onto Gallant’s desperate train of thought, but Julie stood there with a sad smile. Was it wrong that she just knew that no one was coming?
18 months later
Julie hated when she was right; in fact, she so desperately wished she was wrong and that someone had come for them. But no one ever did.
In the year and a half that Julie March had lived at Outpost 3, she’d lost weight. The thickness that had encompassed her thighs had grown smaller, the protruding belly fat wasting away. The gelatin cubes may have given nutrients, but 12 months ago they’d been taken back to two cubes a day, and her body took a toll.
It was horrible- surviving that is.
Nuclear Winter wiped away everything that the bombs had left alive, so they were all that was left. Everyday was the same and Julie thought that dying would’ve been better.
It was strange to watch the love blossom between Emily and Timothy- they both knew the risk but didn’t fucking care- and what was life without having someone to share it with?
“I have an announcement.” They all looked away from their even smaller piece of cube, “This will be our last breakfast. We’re cutting back to one meal a day.”
Julie gripped her every smaller stomach with a grimace; one meal a day? This was agony; she’d been getting hungrier and hungrier and the dizziness and fatigue was getting worse.
Coco butt in, “You can’t be serious.”
Evie added, “An effective dieting technique.”
But Coco insisted, “So is starving to death! I mean look at that chick-“ she pointed at Julie’s tired face, “She’s gonna fucking die soon if we go on like this.”
Venable smiled at Julie’s pained face while Gallant intervened in favor of Coco, “How are we supposed to survive on half a cube a day?”
“It’s not optimal, but not impossible. Either way, we have no choice, not if we want to keep eating at all.”
Julie was in and out; she heard Gallant say something about being over starvation, Coco agreeing and even Mallory saying they should take their chances outside. She flinched when Gallant threw his plate at the wall,
“What’re you gonna do? Shoot us all! Huh?” Mead stood and the tall threatening guard made her way to Gallant, probably to kill him. And make him into more stew.
Julie looked away from the assumed bloodshed when red alarms blared through the room, startling everyone, making her grab her head in pain. It was as if the sound was penetrating ever muscle in her brain, putting every hair on edge.
Mead addressed the room. “Perimeter alert. There’s been a breach.”
Emily gasped and Timothy moved with quick speed to grab Julie as she collapsed to the ground, a bloody trail leaving her nose.
~
Ms. Mead made sure her contamination suit was fully in place before alerting the other guard to open the gate, walking out and gazing at the horse drawn carriage that approached.
They hadn’t received word of any visitors, so they proceeded with caution. Their guns were cocked and ready as a figure in radioactive resistant wear stepped from the carriage, stopping in front of them. They reached into their pocket to produce an identification booklet.
“I need to speak to Ms. Venable.”
Her eyes saw the name and addressed him as such, “Of course Mr. Langdon.” He put away his booklet and strides past them, and waved a hand back, “tend to the animals.”
~
Wilhemina Venable turned at the sound of the door opening, introducing herself- “My name is Wilhemina Venable. I’m in charge here.”
She took in this new intruder; He was tall with striking blonde locks that shouldn’t have looked that soft when the world was in ashes, his inner eyes having a smattering of red that accented the deep blue that assessed her every move.
And he spoke in a tone akin to a wolf among sheep, “Of course you are.”
She seethed on the inside at his degrading tone, “You don’t sound like you believe me.” But he gave a small shake of the head and gave a sly smirk, “Why wouldn’t I?”
His pointed shoes walked near the fireplace, “Seems like you’ve done a wonderful job. The walls are still standing; your people are alive and healthy. Which is… quiet a feat, considering.”
He stood in front of the roaring fire as she questioned him once more. “Three more Outposts have been overrun and the remaining three wont last through the year. “
“Why are you here?”
“Because it’s only a matter of time before the same thing happens to you. The good news is there’s another facility, a sanctuary. This one’s completely impregnable and stocked with enough supplies to last a decade.”
She wanted to groan in thanks at the prospect of finally getting out of this godforsaken place, even if the rest of those foul excuses for human beings were saved as well. “You’re here to take us there then?”
He chuckled, “Hmmm. I’ve been assigned to evaluate the people here and select the ones most worthy of survival. I can take all of you.”
He cocked his head, “Or none of you.” She continued to watch him as her took a few steps closer, “Those who make it, live.”
“And those who don’t?”
Michael gave her the first sincere smile of the entire exchange, “They end up like my horses.”
Wilhemina Venable wanted to shoot him, but knew better, even when he turned her back on her to leave the room, “But fret not Ms. Venable-“
She flinched as he turned to watch her with eyes a shade darker that pierced her soul, “I do believe you have something of mine, and I intend to get it back.”
Hope you enjoyed!
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lisinfleur · 5 years
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Under Her Skin
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Author’s Notes | I would like to thank this dear anon for this request. Such as the one I did for Sigurd (Here, for the ones who want to see!), this request treats about a very delicate and important theme that must be shouted out to the four corners of Midgard: eating disorders aren't mimimi or bullshit. They're real, they're diseases that can consume a person entirely and drag someone into an endless vortex that will lead whether to permanent sequels or death. Always treat this theme with patience, comprehension, and dedication. Be gentle, kind, and supportive with a victim of these conditions. Many times, support is everything a person needs to get rid of Mia’s chains or Ana's cold embrace.
Universe | Vikings Pairing | Hvitserk x Reader Info | Viking Age AU, requested by anon for 5CW6. Suggested soundtrack: All I need (Within Temptation) Words | 2264 ⁑ Warnings: ANGST, mentions of eating disorders, romance. Caution is recommended: the following content may be triggering.
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You thought he was stupid.
Hvitserk was convinced you thought he was stupid enough to think that small stains of sauce in your plate were enough for him to believe there was food over that surface and your fingers were really cleaning your mouth with that absolutely clean napkin in your hands.
He was observing you through the last months since his fingers noticed your stomach were flatter and your waistline reducing...
You stopped making your meals with him, dedicating yourself to make company to your husband, sometimes even serving his food in his mouth, but almost never taking pieces to yourself.
It started when Torvi asked you if you were pregnant in the last time his brother Björn feasted in your house with his wife and kids. You were surely in your fertile days - after years by your side, Hvitserk was used to see how your lines and curves were more attractive when you were in these days - but somehow you took his sister in law's curiosity in a different way and now, you were thinner and thinner and somehow any food he could buy or hunt for your cabin was lasting longer...
Of course. The two of you would devour a pan of stewed rabbit with vegetables in a day. But he would take two meals to finish the same pan.
And making the math, sometimes he was taking really twice the time to see the meat finished at the pans or the leftovers going out to the pigs and the cattle to avoid the loss of good vegetables...
You weren't eating.
And now he was sure, for you weren't even disguising it properly anymore: you were so used to his lack of perception that you forgot to simply mess with the food into the pans to pretend it was eaten this time: the rice and mashed potatoes were untouched. Your plate was dirty only with a small stain of the meat's sauce.
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Hvitserk giggled, disgusted. The cap of the pan in his hand.
"What? Is there something wrong, husband?" you asked, afraid you had cooked anything he didn't want or didn't like.
You were sure that was one of his favorites!
Yet, he looked at you, serious and seeming to be angry.
"Why are you lying to me, wife?"
That question caught you unprepared and you frowned at him, surprised.
"What are you talking..."
His anger was so vivid that Hvitserk didn't let you express your confusion, bringing the subject straight to the table and taking the surprise away from your face, putting on a horror expression when you realized he discovered what you were hiding so far.
"Don't play me the fool anymore! You're not eating, Y/N! And don't come to me with this stained plate pretending you did anything but spread some sauce in this thing. You didn't eat, such as you didn't eat today at breakfast, yesterday at dinner... Such as you have been skipping meals all the time, thinking I'm stupid enough to not to notice my wife is fucking disappearing inside her clothes!"
You weren't expecting to be uncovered this explicit way and your first reaction was, obviously, trying to keep the disguise, giggling at his absurd comment.
It was absurd, right? You weren't "disappearing into your clothes" as he said. Instead, your dresses were awfully strange in your body and you were sure it was because you were fat like a pregnant woman swollen with the child the gods still didn't have brought into your marriage, but you were already showing in your large body.
If it wasn't like this, why would Torvi insinuate you were enormous enough to be confused with a pregnant woman?
"I don't know what you're talking about, Hvitserk. I'm not losing weight..."
But again, he interrupted you, coming closer.
Those wrinkles in between his frowned eyebrows causing his face to look pretty annoyed.
"Do you think I'm blind?"
You weren't understanding all that anger in his eyes, but Hvitserk was pretty annoyed with that whole situation. Did you really think he was that stupid to not to notice such a change in your life?
"Do you think I care this few about you? To miss such a thing like you skipping all the fucking meals we should be doing together? This is how you see me as a husband? A careless bastard who cannot see his wife's skin gluing to her bones?"
His pride was offended. But his words were making no sense for you! You were fat! You were sure it was the reason why Torvi was so sure of your pregnancy! How could he think you were thinner this way with such a small time and little effort?
Right, you weren't eating more than an apple per day, hiding the parts in a napkin into the kitchen to eat a quarter of it in each meal and it was keeping you kinda alive; drinking water enough to fill a barrel and that was it. Hiding from Hvitserk's eyes by dirtying your plates and pretending you had eaten before him or throwing up the food you were obligated to eat in the collective feasts at the Hall by his side.
It wasn't that much for him to be so annoyed or worried... Was it?
"I... I have been trying to lose some weight, but... It's not that much, husband, I don't see a reason for you to be so annoyed," you said, really confused by all that anger in his eyes.
But he giggled again, looking at you in disbelief.
"You don't see a reason maybe because it must be hard to see yourself in the mirror! For the gods' sake, woman, you're starving yourself! You gonna find a way to get yourself sick! Now stop this shit right now and put some food for yourself or else I won't eat as well and then we can see which one of us will faint first!"
He was so pissed... Why?
Weren't you trying to be pretty for him? Wasn't him your reason for all that effort? Why was he so pissed off when you were trying to prevent him from being mocked because of his wife's terrible appearance?
It wasn't fair! And it annoyed you he was being so rude. Well, he could go to Hella's embrace if he wanted: you wouldn't become a whale just because he didn't know how to be grateful!
You placed a full plate for you, filling it as much as you could and looking at him disappointed and annoyed.
"Are you satisfied now, Hvitserk?"
To what he answered annoyed as well.
"No. The plate is still full. Sit and eat, wife!" he almost ordered, causing you to grunt in anger.
How could he be so ungrateful?
You ate that food until the last grain, pushing it inside with the bigger amount of water you could drink in between the portions. The bigger was the quantity, the easier would be throwing that up after that meal, so you didn't try to economize.
But Hvitserk already had observed that behavior in you as well. Whenever you were in a feast on the Hall, you were eating like that, unnaturally filling yourself with mead, water or whatever there was to be drunk, swallowing the food in large portions. Getting up as soon as you finished.
"I hope you're satisfied. I'll go out to piss now if you don't mind this as well, husband," you said, aggressive.
Out to piss...
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Hvitserk didn't miss that either. His eyes followed your steps and he waited for some minutes before following you outside to find exactly what he was predicting: you, on your knees near the bushes, vomiting out everything you had tried to swallow so fast.
"I knew you were doing this!" he pointed out, furious, scaring you, causing you to almost choke and cough a lot. "I knew you were fucking throwing up! What the fuck is wrong with you, Y/N?" he complained, helping you to put yourself straight and pushing a cup of water into your hands. "Why are you fucking doing this, uh?"
He was being so rude! So, you decided to be rude against him as well, drinking the water just to put yourself straight enough to answer him with the same angry tone he had against you.
"I'm doing it for you, you idiot! Cause I don't want you to be mocked by the others because your wife is a damn whale! I'm fucking doing everything I can to keep me pretty for you and this is what you give me in exchange!” you yelled, hurt.
Feeling he wasn't being fair to your sacrifices.
His face twisted in a shocked expression.
"For me? You're fucking killing yourself and you think it would be something good for me?"
Why was he being so extreme?
"I'm not killing myself, Hvitserk. I'm not even thinner!"
"The fuck you aren't! Y/N you used to have curves! Now look!" he placed his hands around your waist and his fingertips almost touched each other in a perfect circle: index near index in your back, thumb near thumb in front of your belly.
Your flat and small tummy you thought was swollen...
You looked at the fabric of your dress, compressed in between his fingers, almost as if it was the only thing preventing his fingertips to touch each other surrounding your waist perfectly. His hands were shaking in nervousness.
"You're fucking starving to death, Y/N! Throwing up meals, fucking skipping them, drinking more water than I never see a human being able to hold and do you really think I didn't see you chewing the pieces of that damn apple you cut in four every day?"
He was so nervous...
It wasn't anger. Your eyes faced his and he didn't look angry for you anymore.
Hvitserk was... Afraid?
"I'm fucking seeing what you're doing! I have been watching you! Stop freaking lying to me!"
He was cursing so many times... His voice was trembling just like his hands and he pulled you into his arms, causing your heart to skip a beat when you felt his heart rushing so fast into his chest.
"You're fucking killing yourself! I'm fucking losing you and I don't know what to do to make you stop! Fucking stop, Y/N! Just stop! Please..."
You could feel his hands into your hair and around your waist, his kisses to your forehead and the top of your head.
"Stop..."
His voice was so cracked, so worried. His heartbeat so fast.
You were doing that for him but... It wasn't making him smile. Or proud. Or happy.
Instead, Hvitserk was scared in a way you never have seen before, holding you as if releasing that embrace would mean losing you to whatever was taking you away from him.
You held him back, slowly. You never wanted him to feel so worried or scared that way.
"I... I just wanted to be pretty for you," you mumbled. "Torvi thought I was pregnant that day... And... I didn't want you to be mocked by your brothers... Or the others... I just wanted to be pretty for you, I swear."
You were shocked. You never thought you had gone so far.
You were feeling weaker these days, but you thought it was a normal thing for someone in a diet, right? You never thought you were that thin...
The image of his hands around your waist was kinda impressed into your mind.
"You are pretty. You are the prettiest woman in Midgard and I don't need you to starve yourself this way! You say you're doing this for me. I don't want to, Y/N!" he said, cupping your face, touching his forehead to yours, "I don't want you to do it. I don't want this. It's not making me happy. I don't wanna fucking lose you, Y/N!"
Your poor sweet prince... He was so scared! So full of fear...
Your hands touched his face, caressing his beard softly the way you knew he liked to feel. And he held your hand, kissing your palm, allowing you to notice there was really a huge difference between your fingers and his.
"Promise me you won't do this again..." Hvitserk asked, kissing your fingers. "Promise me you won't leave me, Y/N."
Leave him...
You wouldn't think about such a thing. Ever.
But his fear was so palpable... Maybe you were really hurting yourself that much.
"I... I don't wanna leave you, my love, I never wanted this to happen," you said, keeping the small caresses, feeling his thumb sliding through your cheek.
"Then stop it. Come back inside. I'll make you some tea to heal your stomach. Then, you'll eat with me, every meal. You don't need to eat that much! But eat with me, like you used to do... I don't mind your curves, Y/N. I love every inch of you and you're taking my inches away..."
You laid your head against his chest, nestling in his neck, kissing softly his jawline, nodding in agreement to his ask, feeling the way he seemed to slowly relax with the idea that terror was over and you wouldn't fight him about that anymore.
"I don't feel hungry..." you mumbled, "But I'll try to make it for you."
"Yes," he mumbled back, near your ear. "This is something I want you to do for me... I want you to live with me, love. I want you to stay with me."
If he wanted that, then you could try.
For him, you could do anything.
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buckys-old-habits · 5 years
Text
Cry Of A Falcon | 2
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Inspiration: Vikings Season 3, episode 2 Viking AU!
Word count: 2k 
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The next morning you woke up to Tayte curled into your side, soft snores coming from his lips and you smile, stroking his head and kissing his cheek.
Carefully you turn around, but Bucky isn’t in bed anymore and you slowly get up, greeting the baby in your stomach with a happy good morning.
You are lucky that your sickness in the morning went by a few weeks ago and you are feeling better than before.
Slowly you waddle to the front door and open it, letting some fresh air inside. You take a deep breath and look around, noticing the first frost of this winter laying on the grass, making it twinkle in the morning sun.
“Good morning, little doll”, Bucky smiles when he sees you and walks up to you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and lets his hands wander to the place his child is growing.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m alright, Bucky. Don’t worry too much, the gods will have an eye on this child”, you smile and kiss him again, his chuckle rumbling in his chest.
“I know. But I still worry about my wife. I wasn’t there when you carried my first child, so I don’t want to miss anything this time.” “I know. I love you, Bucky.”
He grins, a look filled with love and adoration for you. “I love you too, little doll.”
“Freya really blessed you”, the other voice makes you look past Bucky and to Stigan, who is sitting on a bench in your garden.
You bite your tongue and smile, while Bucky kisses your head and turns you to look at the man. “Yes, I truly believe that she blessed this marriage. Even after all the hardships in the beginning.”
“The Gods love to test us, don’t they?”, the old man says and stands up, making his way to you both. Bucky hums softly, but you feel the tightening of your stomach again. The feeling that something is off with the way he says it. Like he knows something you don’t.
“They just show us that we are strong enough to face the world and fate they created for us”, you answer, keeping your head high and voice strong.
Bucky smiles and squeezes your waist. “Wise words, wife.”
You smile at him and pat his hand, letting him know that you want him to loosen the grip.
“I will see after our son”, you say and walk back into the house, escaping the piercing gaze of the wanderer.
“How long will he stay here, Bucky”, you ask your husband while cleaning the dishes from dinner. The wanderer went out, something about praying to the Gods to thank them for your hospitality and a good continuation of his travels.
Bucky looks up from his dagger he cleaned from the blood of his hunt today. “Why, little doll? Is there something wrong?”
You sigh and let your hands soak in the water, the warmth seeping into your skin. “I just have a bad feeling with him being here.”
Bucky lays down his dagger and walks to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. His fur tickles your neck and you lean back against him, feeling him press a kiss to your head.
“I noticed that you were behaving strangely around him. Where does this come from?”
“I don’t know, Bucky. It’s just a sickening feeling in my stomach”, you explain and Bucky hums, gently swaying you side to side.
“Maybe it’s the baby that confuses your body, little doll. Stigan is a silent and attentive guest, he didn’t do anything wrong. Are you sure that it’s that bad of a feeling?”
You shake your head and kiss his jaw, dropping the topic. It’s clear that Bucky doesn’t think bad of the man in your house and maybe he is right. Maybe the baby in your stomach makes you feel so terrible.
“Everything alright?”, Bucky asks and you nod, continuing to clean the dishes, enjoying the warmth of your husband around you.
The next few days, the wind picked up and brought some snow to the village. Tayte was excited and wanted to play outside every time it started to snow again.
Bucky and you were more concerned, the snow came too soon and you still haven’t prepared everything to survive the cold. So your husband goes hunting daily, taking his friends with him and leaving you alone with the strange wanderer in your house.
Stigan still didn’t leave, the snow now hindering him to move along. Even when Bucky said that it may just be your baby making you feel sick, you still don’t trust the man, keeping your son as far from him as possible.
Tayte was too young to understand the mistrust you place on the man, but he follows your orders and stays by your side, never to be left alone with the wanderer.
“Be careful, Bucky”, you press a kiss to his lips and he smiles softly, stroking your cheeks. “The gods will look over me, little doll. Don’t worry.”
You smile and nod, letting your husband go on his daily hunt again. He brought some good meat and furs the last few trips, but you still need a bit more, especially with the additional mouth to feed.
Shaking your head, you make your way back to the house and to the fire, bringing it to life again while rubbing your hands together. You have to brew some mead today and dry some meat.
“Lille bamsen, could you bring me the meat your father brought yesterday?”, you call over your shoulder and grab a knife from the counter.
When you don’t hear an answer, you frown and turn around, letting your eyes flit over the room. Why isn’t Tayte here? He was in bed before Bucky went on his hunt.
You only left him alone a bit to say goodbye to your husband just behind the stables.
“Tayte?”, you call out and walk into the bedroom, but the furs are empty. Worry climbs up your throat and you turn back, rushing to the door and throwing it open.
Cold wind bites your skin and you shiver, looking left and right for the little boy. “Tayte?”, you shout again, but still no answer, only the wind howling back at you. 
You step out the door and call out again, noticing that Stigan is missing too. “Tayte, answer me!”
The flap of some wings makes you look up and you see a falcon perched on the fence of your stables.
It watches you, really watches you and tilts his head to the side. Something wise lays in his eyes and you pray that this is not a bad omen of the Gods.
“Tayte?”, you whisper softly and the falcon screeches, before it flies off and you have a feeling that you should follow it.
You run after the bird, nearly tripping when you reach the forest. The falcon screeches and you hurry after it, fear gripping your chest again.
You know this way, this way leads to the lake which will be frozen over by now. You pray to the gods that Tayte won’t do something stupid. He is only three years old and you have no idea if the stranger is with him.
The falcon breaks through the last trees and you see the lake, frozen over as you thought.
Your heart stops in your chest when you see the brown haired boy looking over the lake, the wanderer talking to him.
You rush to them when you see your boy making his first few steps onto the ice, his arms outstretched when he tries not to slip.
“Tayte!”, you scream for your boy and he whirls around.
You hear the crack even from the distance and you cry out for him when he falls through the ice and into the freezing water below.
The wanderer just looks at you and walks away, not sparing your son another glance. But you don’t pay him any mind, you run to the spot where Tayte vanished and tears gather in your eyes.
“Tayte”, you carefully step onto the ice and slide to the hole, seeing your son struggling against the water and the cold temperature.
Quickly you take his hand and try to pull him out, the ice cracking under your weight and you have to blink rapidly to clear your eyes from the tears.
“Don’t die. Please don’t take him from me”, you sob and pull stronger, Tayte’s head coming up and gasping for air.
“Mama”, he screams and you hold him, fear for him consuming you and you feel the ice crack even more under you.
You have to save him, it doesn’t matter what happens to you, you have to save your son.
“I got you, Tayte. Just hold on”, you try to calm him and pull harder, fighting against his heavy clothes and your own fatigue from your pregnancy.
You feel the ice giving way under you when suddenly two pairs of arms wrap around you and Tayte, pulling you off the ice when it finally breaks.
You land on the ground with a painful yelp, your body curling into itself. Tears stream down your face, your arms shaking and you sob, the excitement making place for the fear you felt and still feel.
“You are alright, (y/n). Look at me, wife”, hands cup your cheeks and make you look up at familiar blue eyes. You sob loudly and throw yourself into the arms of your husband, mumbling apologies and trying to tell him what happened.
“Hush, little doll. You are safe, you both are”, Bucky sways you gently and you feel your son pressed into your side. Bucky holds you both, warming you and thanking the Gods that he came here in time.
“The wanderer.. he... “, you look up at Bucky and he nods, kissing your head.
“We will take care of him later. Let's get you home and warm you both up.”
He lets you go and takes Tayte into his arm, wrapping his arms around the shivering boy. Steve and Sam, who stand beside you, shrug off their furs and Steve hands his to Bucky to wrap around your son and Sam puts his on your shoulder.
“Thank you”, you smile at him, but he shakes his head and kisses your forehead.
“I’m just glad we got here in time, (y/n)”, he wraps his arm around you and leads you back through the forest and home.
Bucky walks beside you, calming down Tayte and Steve watches you all, a frown etched onto his face.
“How did you find us?”, you ask, accepting the hot mead from Steve and sigh when the heat seeps into your skin.
Tayte is laying beside you, bundled in furs and warm clothes and close to the fire to warm his freezing body. Bucky strokes his hair and has a hand around you, wanting to be close to you both. Making sure that you are safe and still with him.
You lean closer to him and he presses a kiss to your temple, lingering there and sighing heavily.
“A falcon”, he says softly, watching Steve and Sam sit beside you. “It perched on a tree beside us and screeched the whole time. It didn’t let up until we tried to approach it and it flew to the next tree. Steve had the feeling that something was wrong and we followed it.”
Bucky stops and you feel his hand shake on your skin. You set down your mead and take his hand, kissing his palm.
“We are here, Bucky. You came at the right time”, you whisper and he shakes his head.
“I should have listened to you, (y/n). You told me that something was making you feel bad and I just brushed you off. What if we wouldn’t have been there? I would have lost everything, my son, my unborn child and you. Everything.”
“Bucky…”, you cup his cheek and turn his head so he looks at you, his eyes shimmering with tears and you smile softly.
“Yes, someone wanted us ill intentions, but the Gods watched over us and lead you to us. This wasn’t meant to be the end and I don’t love you any less for not listening to me. We are here, Bucky. Look at me, look at Tayte. We are here.”
Bucky stays silent for a bit and looks at you, then his eyes drift to his sleeping son and lastly to your stomach.
“I love you”, he whispers, choking down a sob and you wipe his tears away, pressing your lips to his.
“I love you too, Bucky. We all love you.”
Steve and Sam watch you and smile, happy to see the love between you. To see their friend happy and safe in your arms.
“Thank you, Sam and Steve. I can never repay the debt of you saving my child”, you turn to the men and they smile softly, shaking their heads.
“We are just thankful that you are still here with us. Bucky would probably have followed you”, Steve says and you hum, knowing that he was right.
If Bucky had lost you, he would have followed you into the depths of the lake, offering himself to the Gods.
“We will make an offer to Freya tomorrow, little doll.” You nod and smile softly, kissing him gently and looking at your son after that. “Yes, we really are safe under the wings of Freya.”
Bucky hums and holds you close, watching you and his son, happiness spreading in his chest. He is surrounded by the people he loves and would lay his life down if they would ever ask him to do it.
He closes his eyes and thanks Freya for protecting his family and preventing the end. When he opens his eyes again, he hears a falcon screech outside the house and he smiles.
117 notes · View notes
lmfitnessuk · 6 years
Text
Making sure that you are getting enough protein is crucial for not only your health, but also your weight loss too!
If you were to follow the “guidelines“, then the minimum amount of protein that you should be consuming, is around 50 grams a day.
But many researchers, nutritionists and personal trainers would argue that this is likely to be too low, and increase the amount according to your current weight and goal. Surely a more personalised approach is better than a general “rule of thumb” guesstimate?
A higher protein intake can aid a healthy weight loss, whilst increasing muscle mass & tone and improving your overall health to name a few.
But if you have been following any “conventional diets“, with the exception of Keto, Paleo, Atkins/Low Carb, then you may struggle initially to increase your protein intake.
But there is loads of ways to boost your intake of protein, here are just a small selection of them. Including a number of vegan and vegetarian options too.
Eat your Protein First
Opt For Greek Yoghurt
Add Protein Rich Foods to Your Salads
Get A Bit Eggy
Protein Shakes
Add Peanut Butter to Your Fruit
Cottage Cheese
Edamame Beans
Combinations & Mixing it Up
Snacking for Protein
Pecans in Salads
Add Lentils into your Soup
Homemade Veggie Burgers
Swap Mayo for Hummus
Stir Fry Veggies & Almonds
Add Tahini to Salad Dressings
Try Something New
Pesto with Pine & Tree Nuts
Mushy Peas
Ezekiel Bread
Eat your Protein First
When eating your meals, always tuck into your protein source first, especially before you get to any starches – like potatoes, white rice or pasta. Protein increases the production of a gut hormone called PYY – this hormone makes you feel fuller for longer. In addition, a high protein intake will reduce the level of “Grhelin” (the hunger hormone), whilst increasing your metabolic rate after eating and during sleep… And who wouldn’t want to burn off a few pounds whilst visiting the land of nod. Furthermore, eating your protein first, can help to regulate your blood sugar and insulin levels from rising after meals.
Watch this quick video that explains Insulin Resistance and how it may be affecting your Weight Loss Results.  
Opt For Greek Yoghurt
Greek yoghurt is a versatile, high protein food.
A single 240gram serving provides you with a staggering 17-20 grams of protein,
  depending on the brand of course, as they are not all identical in their nutritional values, so always check the labels to be sure. When you compare this to a traditional yoghurt, the protein is almost doubled! Research has shown that Greek Yoghurt increases the release of the gut hormone GLP-1 and PYY – which reduces hunger and makes you feel fuller. In addition, it also contains something called Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA). Which has been shown in studies to promote fat loss. Try adding a bit of chopped fruit, nuts and/or honey for a bit of flavour & texture. You can also make sour cream dips & sauces with Greek Yoghurt… Just think of Tzatziki!! (In my opinion Fage is one of the best options, but it is all down to Preference). You can also make Greek Yoghurt fun for all the family by trying to make these Frozen Greek Yoghurt Bites: Greek Yoghurt Rainbow Bites
Add Protein Rich Foods to Your Salads
Salads are often packed full of vegetables that offer you a whole plethora of vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants that help to protect you from illness and disease. But, they often only contain a few grams of protein, if any. Which will likely lead to hunger pangs after only a few hours. Try adding tuna, chicken, eggs, turkey, salmon or cheese to your salads to ramp up the protein. Maybe even some chorizo or bacon lard ons! Go on… Get adventurous! If you are looking for some good plant based protein alternatives, try adding beans, chick peas, lentils, dark leafy greens like spinach or kale. Edamame beans are also a fantastic protein source.
Get A Bit Eggy
Many conventional breakfast cereals are very low in protein, yet very high in carbohydrates and sugar. So you should try to introduce protein to your breakfast meals. Eggs are a great option for breakfast, as they offer a quick, easy and versatile option. It doesn’t really matter how you serve your eggs either – scrambled, poached, boiled, omelette and so on. Three large eggs could add as much as 19grams of protein to your daily intake. They will also give you some important nutrients, including selenium and choline. Eating whole eggs can also modify the size and shape of your LDL (“bad”) cholesterol particles. Which may decrease your risk of heart disease. Eggs also make some great snacks!
Try out these two quick and simple ideas to increase your protein with Eggs. Egg Muffins Recipe; Bacon Frittata Recipe:
Protein Shakes
A shake or smoothie can also be a great breakfast option – depending on the ingredients. Many smoothies contain a lot of fruit, vegetables and juice – but not much protein. Protein powders make it really easy to bold up the protein in your morning smoothie. There are loads of options available on the market these days, which is great for us as the consumer, but also a little confusing. (My Protein Powder Blog coming Soon!) Whey is not the only option either, you can now buy protein powders made from soy, egg and pea protein. Making them vegan friendly too. Boost you protein further by adding a dollop of peanut butter, almond butter, flax seeds or chia seeds to your shake.
Add Peanut Butter to Your Fruit
You may not think it, but peanut butter works really well with certain fruits – it’s a matter of taste, so there is flexibility to play around with this combination to find your preference, but apples and pears work really well. Some studies have revealed that peanut butter may actually help to decrease appetite, reduce blood sugars and promote heart health. BUT, opt for a good brand that has not been pumped with junk and sugar. Maybe go for an organic or whole nut option.
Cottage Cheese
A 2015 study found cottage cheese to be as satisfying as eggs. And like Greek Yoghurt, it is a great source of CLA – which may help to improve body composition. Try adding some chopped nuts & seeds, cinnamon, stevie, or another sweetener for a quick breakfast option. Smaller amounts of cottage cheese is also great for snacks.
Edamame Beans
Edamame is the term for steamed soy beans in their unripened form. Soy beans have more protein than any other legumes – and are a very popular choice for vegetarians and vegans. Edamame is high in an anti-oxidant called Kaempferol, studies on mice have suggested that it may help to reduce blood sugars and aid weight loss.
Combinations & Mixing it Up
Try mixing two or three high protein foods in the same meal. This could be as simple as having an omelette with some kind of meat or nut added, or having a good lean cut of steak with a side of dark leaf salad, some chopped avocado or guacamole (fat source) and chopped nuts. You could accompany this with a Greek Yoghurt or Cottage Cheese dip for variety. Don’t be scared of trying new combinations, it’s variety that makesgood nutrition exciting and fun.
Snacking for Protein
Snacks are a great way to bolster up your daily protein, but you need to pick wisely. Try snacking on small handfuls of nuts and/or seeds, or perhaps you could try grabbing a high protein snack bar like one of the Grenade Carb Killas or Atkins Indulgence Bars. Just watch out for the calories.
Pecans in Salads
Nuts are a great way to add a bit of a crunch element to your salads, entrees and desserts, but they are also packed with protein and anti-oxidants. Pecans specifically are rich in magnesium – which aids digestion. They are also incredibly filling and cleansing at the same time. You can find out more about the different benefits of Nuts on my blog Are you Nuts about Nuts??
Add Lentils into your Soup
Lentils are a long time staple for vegetarians seeking a good alternative source of protein, and this little lentils can fill you up with very little effort. Add them to soups, salads or use them as an side accompaniment to your main dish instead of high carb alternatives. Here’s a recipe I created a while back for a Lentil Stew.
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Homemade Veggie Burgers
Not all meals need to contain meat, regardless of whether you are a meat eater or not. Why not try swapping your beef burger for a home Meade veggie Pattie made with Back Beans and Quinoa? Packed with fibre and anti-inflammatory properties, these burgers will fill you up & make you feel awesome at the same time.
Swap Mayo for Hummus
Consider swapping your Mayonnaise for a creamy, protein packed hummus instead. Use is as a salad dressing, dip or even in your sandwiches. Add a pinch of herbs, and garlic for a deeper punchier flavour.
Stir Fry Veggies & Almonds
Stir Fry’s are great, quick, easy & really simple to throw together. But the high veggie content can leave it a little low on protein, especially if you are not adding any meats. Why not add a little bit of spinach to offer a little more oomph. But to really ramp your protein up, why not throw in a handful of chopped almonds. Try my Protein Stirfry recipe.
Add Tahini to Salad Dressings
Tahini is made from sesame paste and is a great substitute for oil in salad dressings, plus it contains about 2grams of protein per serving. Use a squish of Lemon juice as an acid and just a smidgen of oil to get things going – then add your flavours like mustard, herbs and spices.
What is Amaranth?
Quinoa is awesome, but it can get a little boring quite quickly. Try another ancient grain such as Amaranth in your salads to keep things fresh and different. Amaranth is gluten free, just like Quinoa and is packed with protein and fibre. It has a lightly nutty taste that will compliment your greens perfectly.
Pesto with Pine & Tree Nuts
Pine nuts, traditionally used in pesto have about 9grams of protein per half a cup, and this is a great option for spreads on sandwiches and quinoa pasta’s. Add a small handful of tree nuts, such as almonds or walnuts to your pine nut pesto and you can almost double your protein levels.
Mushy Peas
In truth, your peas do not need to be mushy, but just present! Many vegetables have protein, but peas are king, with about 8gram per cup. Add them to stews, broths, soups, quinoa salads, or even blend them up into a dip or hummus.
Ezekiel Bread
Among the many benefits of this bread, is the protein content. Boasting a brilliant 4grams per slice (approximately), means that a mere sandwich at lunch time could be bringing your total protein up by 8grams. Consider what you put in the sandwich, and you could have a protein feast on your hands.
Boosting your protein is actually quite easy & a lot of fun, once you know a few simple & staple “go-to” favourites. The great thing about nutrition is, it’s up to you! You can play with your choices and it never needs to become boring. There is a whole world of foods out there high in protein, you just need to discover your preferences.
This list of ideas is by no way exhaustive of all of the choices, and I have deliberately left out the obvious choices, like lean meat & fish, we all know they are high in protein. But hopefully this has given you a few inspired ideas on what you may like to try. Don’t be afraid of trying new things, what is the worse tat could happen? You may not like it, but thats ok… we are all human and we all like different things. Just move onto something else.
Thanks for reading!
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Making sure that you get enough protein is crucial for painting health, but also for Weight Loss. Here are some ideas on where to get your proteins, beyond Meat & Fish! Making sure that you are getting enough protein is crucial for not only your health, but also your weight loss too!
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