“Boss,” you stammer, slamming the door to the intelligence room behind you. “Bossbossbossbossboss.” It comes out sounding like one very, very long word as you practically catapult yourself into Unknown's arms.
He didn't ask you to do that, but he doesn't particularly mind— it seems like you know your place at Magenta: on his lap, where he can keep an eye on you and stop you from wreaking whatever havoc you've got your heart set on at the moment. “What is it?” He asks, expecting more of the same nonsense that you always try to serve him in moments such as this one.
“Okay, so, as you know, you told me to go find something useful to do and leave you alone,” you recount, “Presumably because you're doing something so horrible that you don't even want me to see it, which says an awful lot, considering all the shit you've let me see already.” You're not entirely wrong there, but Unknown doesn't bother letting you know. You can press as much as you want, but he's never going to give you any more information than he sees fit.
“Yes,” Unknown agrees instead, nebulously allowing you to fill in the blanks for yourself. A month ago, he would have been certain that you'd make up some nonsense and be wrong about it, but he has learned that it's better not to underestimate you. His assistant is many things, but stupid is not one of them. Unobservant, perhaps. Dependent, of course. Annoying, even— but never stupid.
“Right,” you shake your head, before promptly nestling into his embrace as if you're seeking comfort. You're wildly misguided if you think you're going to get it from him— but, then, Unknown doesn't need to tell you that. “Well, anyway. So I thought, why don't I clean the water heater?”
“What water heater?” Unknown has never seen anything like that during his time at Magenta, and he's spent quite a while here.
“It's in the basement,” you wave him off, like it means nothing that you went down there without his permission. “There's this little door, and it's blocked with this cart thing, so I unblocked it, and then there's this tiny room with just this water heater that's like, well, you know, it heats water— anyway, it takes up half the room, and—”
“Did I tell you to go down there?” Unknown tightens his grip on you. If you'd been in the basement at the wrong time, you could have seen something much worse than what would have been on his screen had you stayed by his side. And the fact that you knew enough about the water heater to think of cleaning it suggests that you’ve been down there before and seen it already— he isn’t pleased with this development. Does he really have to keep an eye on you all the time to stop you from causing trouble?
“You said to be useful,” you counter, “And I was being useful.”
Unknown groans. “Then what's the matter?” He has no idea what you saw or who you ran into. The basement is not a pretty place, after all, and you’re quite timid, all things considered. If he wanted you to go down there, then he would have sent you himself.
“I saw a bug!” You squeal, dramatic as always. “And it was terrifying. Comfort me.”
It irks him that you think you get to give him orders, but nevertheless, Unknown heaves a sigh of relief. He can't believe he was ever actually that worried over his assistant— as if anyone in paradise would be enough of a fool to lay a hand on you. With the exception of the Savior, nobody around here would even think of trying something like that. And you wouldn't have stalled so long if anything had happened, anyway... you'd have called him to the scene immediately, and Unknown would have dealt with it on the spot. “That's it? You see bugs every day, prince(ss). I’m not going to coddle you every time.”
“Yes, but this one was technically in my home,” you protest with a shudder, “So it’s at least five times scarier. And it was huge— I think it was some kind of cockroach or something.”
“Hm.” Unknown considers this information. He doesn’t really follow, but he also doesn’t want to prolong this bug discussion any longer than he has to. It’s better if you just drop it and let him get back to work.
“Anyway, it ran in front of the water heater as soon as I opened the door,” you complain, “I don’t know how the hell it got in there, or if there’s others, or anything like that— I just slammed the door and blocked it again, and then ran back here as fast as I could to tell you that there's a bug by the water heater, which I did not clean. For your information.”
Unknown huffs. Honestly, he should have known better than to turn you loose in the first place. Even if he had explicitly told you to avoid the basement, you would have found a way down there anyway. You may be more clever than he originally gave you credit for, but that doesn’t seem to have much bearing on your listening skills, which have proven to be severely lacking.
“That's why we don't go sticking our nose where it doesn't belong,” he purrs, enjoying the way that you retreat entirely into his embrace, pressing your face against his chest. Yes, that's how it should be... you should depend on him, rely on him, revel in the feeling of his attention, his fingers in your hair or his lips against your ear. You should be his, wholly and completely, bending to his whims and changing your shape to fit inside of his grasp. That's the only way. “Just stay with me, assistant. I'll look after you, since you can't figure out how to do it yourself.” If your reaction to a single cockroach was so passionate, he can’t imagine what you would have done if you’d actually encountered something scary— but if he keeps you here, then neither one of you will ever have to find out.
“Sure,” your soft concession feels like a victory. Unknown just hums in response, returning to his work as you continue to cling to him. He won’t comfort you, of course, but he will allow himself to give you this.
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I saw some of your posts earlier and just wanted to say it's alright, these are hard times and even harder events, the important thing is that you are trying
Your works brought me a smile on my face so many time and I hope that I can cheer you up even if just a little from all the time your words brighten my day, have a good day!
Thank you. I'm mostly hoping people can recognize that I'm doing my best to approach all this with a sense of ethics and consideration of implications. On this specific topic, I'm not trying to convince people that I know the correct answer, or even that they should agree with me, but rather to step back and think things over in ways they might not have before; there are a lot of lenses through which to view this, and many of those lenses have a vested interest in convincing people of their viewpoint.
It's what I've been trying to do, and why I've been willing to adjust my thinking on some things (see: that ask with a tiktok about Yemen). I think that if we are to have productive conversations on these things, we need to be willing to take that step back. Some of it might seem really obvious, but then it might be less obvious to other people, or it's something that only seems obvious because an element hasn't been taken into account...
There's something painfully destructive about getting told off for trying to do the learning and thinking that is key to being a better person and also to the activism we're hopefully trying to strive for.
(I'm also immediately suspicious of any post with a Specific Tone that seems geared to jumpstart my emotional outrage response so I skip the fact-checking. I do still get some of that fact-checking wrong, but I do at least try to do it. Sometimes I just don't reblog, but sometimes it's egregious enough, or at least seems egregious enough, that I just go off to rebuttal with what numbers and news I can locate. Sometimes I'm in the right, and sometimes I'm mistaken, but... it's better than consuming information without thinking to check it at all, right? And unfortunately, the posts that appeal to emotion are the most likely to make a person skip past the fact-checking stage.)
I'm glad you like my fics!
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My unorthodox Yangchunmian noodle soup/阳春面
(This is the reason why I was rendering lard lol)
Homestyle unorthodox Yangchunmian noodle soup recipe (enough for 1 person but must be served in a big ramen bowl) (Note: this version includes pork fat and is therefore not vegan/vegetarian/halal/kosher):
Ingredients (optional ones marked with *):
Noodles (preferably thin)
Egg
Soy sauce
Cooking oil
Pork lard (preferably rendered following the recipe that includes baijiu/green onions/ginger; if not, there are brands out there that can imitate the taste)
Pyropia seaweed (this is what nori is made from so unseasoned nori is also fine; also sold dried in giant discs)
*Wakame (brown kelp) OR Shanghai bok choy (stem is green instead of white) OR dried shiitaki mushrooms
Green onion
Chinese black vinegar (the one I used is Duliu Laocu/独流老醋, Zhenjiang Xiangcu/镇江香醋 is also fine)
Ground white pepper
Sugar
*Salt
Sesame oil
*Fish sauce/鱼露
*Chicken bouillon powder
Preparation:
Chop green onion, just one will do
Tear off a 2"x2" piece of pyropia seaweed OR 2 small pieces of nori
*If adding bok choy, wash bok choy
*If adding dried shiitaki mushrooms, rehydrate it first
In a ramen bowl, add:
~4 tbsp of soy sauce
~3/4 tsp of pork lard
~1 tsp of Chinese black vinegar
*A few drops of fish sauce
~1/2 tsp ground white pepper
~1/4 tsp sugar
*~1/4 tsp chicken bouillon powder
~1/2 tsp seasame oil
Pour just enough hot water to melt pork lard and combine everything together, mix well
In a sauce pan (at least 1.5 qt):
Turn on heat, set to medium
When pan is hot, rub the pyropia seaweed on the bottom of the pan a couple of times to mimic toasting, then put seaweed into ramen bowl
Pour a little cooking oil into pan, fry the egg until over hard
Add 5 cups of hot water into pan
Add noodles, *add bok choy
Let it cook
*When noodles are halfway done, add the vegetable (wakame/shiitaki mushroom) as desired
When noodles are done, pour everything into bowl, mix well with the soup base in the bowl
*Add salt as desired
Top with fresh chopped green onion and serve
The end product should taste mildly salty, mildly sour, and umami. Overall taste should be mild.
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