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babuis · 2 years

Text

— feelings are for shitheads : Suna x Reader - [1]

Synopsis: Of course you would be the one unfortunate enough to end up falling for someone you already friend zoned.

Word count: 3.2k

Genre: fluff, college au, slowburn

Pairings: College!auSuna x Reader

Another fic based off of my own life :) Barely any Suna in this part tbh. Side note, Suna actually isn’t from Hyogo- he’s from Aichi! He was scouted by Inarazaki which is in Hyogo. I mention this in here so just a disclaimer.

Perhaps if you had broken up with your long distance boyfriend earlier you wouldn’t be this distracted the day before your last final of the semester. Your math textbook sat on the floor among the storm of scratch paper and worksheets, mocking you as your scrolled through your camera roll.

It shouldn’t be this hard to find good photos of you, you think to yourself. However, each photo you see of yourself alone is too old, too bright, too risqué.

And on the other side, all the ones you actually like of yourself is with your ex boyfriend.

You sighed as you scrolled back to the beginning of your camera roll- what constituted for a good Tinder profile picture anyway?

It had been almost a year since you had been single. Turning 18 during your relationship meant that you had never even thought about making a Tinder account- much less touch the damn app.

Yet here you were, sitting on the floor of your dorm bedroom, making an account to prove to your friends (and yourself) that you were totally over your ex boyfriend from back home.

Deciding to stop nitpicking, you chose your photos and included a video of your cat. Afterall, you and your cat were a package deal, even if you couldn’t bring him to university with you.

This wouldn’t lead to anything serious anyway, you decided. Since you were leaving Kobe University which was all the way in Hyogo to go back to Tokyo for the break anyway.

Within minutes of setting your profile up, you noticed at the bottom of the screen it said that 56 people had swiped right on you already. And despite not looking for anything serious, you felt your ego boosted immediately.

Your gaze shifted from your phone screen to the copious amount of work littering your floor. Since your exam was tomorrow, you knew that it was a good idea to resume studying.

However...

With such a shiny new toy in your hands, you couldn’t resist swiping.

‘Just 5 minutes,’ you promised yourself. 5 more minutes wouldn’t hurt.

However, 10 minutes and 20 matches later, your worksheets were forgotten as you were too busy texting back the random guys on the app.

Cramming for an exam wasn’t good for you anyway.

You smiled victoriously to yourself- this would prove to your friends that you were over your ex for good now.

You were better than being hung up over a guy in the year below you. It was silly for you to think long distance would work out. Sillier to think that your boyfriend would wait for you- that he was okay with only seeing you on breaks.

You were the one who left to go to school all the way in Hyogo, after all, leaving him in Tokyo.

However, nearing the end of your first semester of your first year, you couldn’t say you regretted the decision.

Your friends had nothing to worry about. The lingering texts between the two of you meant nothing- the huge question mark on your ended relationship meant nothing. They didn’t have to worry about you going to see him over this break.

You were over him. The flame app on your phone was enough proof of that. The 20 guys in your dms was proof of that.

As the clock hit 2:18 AM you felt your eyelids grow heavy. Your grip on your phone slackened, but not before you could swipe right on the last match of the night: Suna Rintaro.

Across campus in his own dorm, Suna’s fingers twitched as he stared at his latest tinder match, debating on whether to make the first move or not. He had been swiping on Tinder that night because he was unbearably horny.

It wasn’t like he couldn’t hit up any of his matches he already had. However, after talking to all of them, it was apparent that they all wanted something from him that he couldn’t give.

After a few conversations with them, he would get bored. And if he did make plans to meet up with them, he would conveniently forget and not show up anyway.

Ami had demanded for an apology after he pulled that stunt just a few weeks ago, and he couldn’t even bother to reply.

He knew it was a dick move, but he was currently thinking with his dick.

However, if he put “just casual sex” in his bio, he would get no matches. So he opted for putting “Clever bio” out of laziness.

The interesting ones would hit him up anyway.

His eyes flickered up to the little clock in the corner of his phone screen reading 2:20 AM.

He yawned, deciding not to hit anyone up for the night. It was too late now, and he was tired anyway. Not to mention, he would be leaving Hyogo to go home to Aichi soon for break anyway.

Y/n L/n he read your name, ‘she’s fucking hot.’

~~~~~~~

You slightly regretted your decision to procrastinate the next day as you practically chained yourself to a desk in the library before your math exam. You were studying with a classmate in the same major.

“Ya’ got this question wrong,” Osamu pointed out to you, underlining the problem in red.

You sighed, feeling slightly embarrassed at how terribly you were doing in front of a classmate you barely even knew.

You erased your answer and scanned over the problem again, reworking it on a separate sheet of paper.

“Why don’t you become a math major instead of a business administration major?” you quipped at him jokingly.

The black haired man snorted, “Nah, I’m gonna open ma’ own business. Why the hell would I want ta’ write random numbers all day?”

“I hate math,” you mumbled, showing him your reworked answer, “This right?”

“Mmm,” he hummed, “Alright, that was the last question. We’re good ta’ go.”

You groaned, rubbing your temples, “Man, I’m so fucked.” Your anxiety faded as quickly as it came, “Whatever. I only need a 60 to get a B in the class.”

“Nice,” Osamu nodded, “ya’ got this.”

You flashed him a wry smile, knocking on the wooden desks lightly, “Don’t jinx it- but thanks. We should have studied together earlier.”

“We can if we have ta’ retake the class,” Osamu snorted, “but I would rather not. No offense ta’ you.”

You waved your hand lazily, “None taken. Good luck.”

You packed up your things, bidding good bye to the man. Sending a quick text to your friend to confirm your lunch plans, you almost walked straight into the door if not for someone opening it to enter right as you left.

However, you were clueless to the action and continued to make your way to the cafeteria.

As you trekked across campus, you opened Tinder. However, you were unprepared for the huge flux of dms and number of matches you had gotten while your phone was off.

You scrolled through the matches, internally cringing as you see some of the people you had swiped right on in your sleepy haze.

Note to self: don’t use tinder late at night.

However, your thumbs stopped moving as your eyes caught onto a certain guy you couldn’t quite remember matching with. However, you couldn’t say you regretted the match either.

Suna Rintaro, You read his name to yourself.

And while you admitted the man was attractive with his foxy eyes and perfected, barely there smile- he gave you almost nothing to work with. A picture of a white dog didn’t tell you much and his bio consisted of only “clever bio.”

Biting your lip, you swiped up to message him.

After 5 minutes of thinking, you could only think of “clever introduction,” before hitting send.

It wasn’t your best, but if it didn’t work out, you would pin the blame on the male’s boring profile instead.

You grabbed some lunch before finding a vacant table to wait for your friend. You felt slightly nostalgic as you looked around. It was here that your friend and you had first met- with her accidentally spilling some water on you.

Bzzt Bzzt

Your eyes found their way back to your screen, a single notification telling you that Suna Rintaro had messaged you back.

Clever, the text read, Want me to put that through plagiarism checker?

You laughed a bit to yourself, quickly typing out a response, what else is a girl supposed to work with?

In mere moments, another text popped up from the male. How about you start with introducing yourself for real?

You can read my profile you quipped back jkjk. Y/n L/n, first year. You?

Suna Rintaro. First year. Where u from?

“Sorry I’m late Y/n!”

The sound of your friends voice caused you to close out of the app, deciding to focus on her instead of the pixels behind the screen. The girl was huffing as if she had run across campus.

“You look like you ran a marathon, Heiran,” you mused, scooting your things on the table over so the girl could put her food down.

“Running across campus might’as well be one,” said girl muttered, plopping down in the seat across from you. “Who were ya texting that’s gotcha smilin’ like that?”

You rolled your eyes, chewing on some beef, “Not who you think, that’s for sure.”

“Good, and I don’t want ta’ hear that ya’ met up with him over the break either,” she stared you down seriously as she stabbed a piece of broccoli on her plate.

You rolled your eyes. holding up 3 fingers together, “Scouts honor. Besides, I’m over him.”

“Suuuure,” Heiran eyes you warily, “This is the first break you’ll be home since ya’ broke up with him.”

“And? Heiran, it’s all good, I swear. I even downloaded Tinder yesterday and have chatted up at least 24 different guys,” You showered her the app on your home screen as proof.

Seeing the little flame, your friend’s eyes lit up, “Oooooh! Lemme see yer’ profile!”

You tapped on the app, letting her looking at your profile but snatching it back before she could snoop through your messages.

“Yer’ hot,” Yuki said, wiggling her eyebrows, “Anyone notable?”

You shrugged, powering your phone off, “Not really. I’m not really looking for anything serious- it’s just fun to flirt around. I’m leaving for home tomorrow morning anyway.”

At the mention of going home, Heiran’s eyes shined again and the conversation steered in a different direction.

Having too much fun catching up with your friend, Suna’s message remained forgotten in your pocket, leaving him wondering if you had already gotten bored (or warned) as he hung out with the Miya’s on the other side of campus.

~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until your second day back at home that you had remembered that you had the dating app downloaded.

“Y/n, you dog you downloaded Tinder???”

Kuroo had been looking through your phone as you played Smash Bros against Kenma on the couch. How the tall male knew your password was unknown to you but you barely had time to dwell on the thought before you lunged towards Kuroo to get your phone back.

“Y/n!” Kenma yelled at you, “get back here!”

You gritted your teeth, snatching your phone back, “He’s snooping through my phone!”

“Ok? What dirty e-sex are you having that you’re so embarrassed about?” Kuroo teased you, picking up the controller you had abandoned.

You rolled your eyes, shoving the male’s shoulder, “I’m not having e-sex!” you quipped back, “Besides, I forgot I had even downloaded it. My math final kicked my ass.”

You checked your phone for any signs of tampering, but when you found nothing, you opened Tinder. Seeing the opened but unanswered message from Suna made you blanch.

You had accidentally left this man on read for 3 days.

Tokyo, how about you?

Sorry for the late text, my math final kicked my ass.

You doubted you would get a response. After all, you were on break and nobody in their right mind would start something would start something with someone currently in a different prefecture.

However, just one game of smash later, you had gotten a response.

And here I thought you had gotten bored after 3 minutes.

Who uses a dating app during vacation?

In all honesty, Suna had debated on whether he would respond or not. After all, he wasn't really looking for an emotional connection.

But, at the same time, he wouldn't mind waiting until getting back to campus to fuck. You were just that fine.

He wouldn't mind indulging you a little, he supposed.

Me, apparently.

What are you up to?

Suna's dog, Moose, whined from next to him as he took a break from petting the dog.

Playing with Moose

His hand found its way back to Moose's head, scratching right below the ears where he knew his pet loved. The heat from the kotatsu made him blink drowsily.

You have a moose?

Oh wait no.

That's the name of the dog in ur profile right?

You wanted to smack yourself at your first message- who just had a moose?

And why did tinder not have a unsend option?

Suna chuckled as he read your messages.

Yea my dog's name is moose.

Sorry I don't have a real one laying around.

I see you got a cat.

At the mention of your baby, your face brightened, eager to gush about him to a random- albeit handsome- stranger.

Yea! Her name is Mayo.

Suna's eyebrows rose at the name. He thought Moose had a strange name, but Mayo was up there within the list of interesting pet names.

Moose and Mayo.

What are you up to?

Your fingers flew across your screen as you responded.

Waiting for my turn for Smash.

Unbeknownst to you, Kuroo and Kenma's match had ended a little while ago, and they were choosing to watch you instead of the screen.

The two friends shared knowing looks at the little grin on your face.

Despite his earlier teasing, Kuroo was glad you had downloaded Tinder and seemed happier. Despite you claiming you had been over your ex, he knew better.

This ex was your first ex and you had been madly in love. He knew the two of you still texted, dancing along the lines of friendship and dating.

With you living on the other side of him, Kuroo could see you late at night playing video games with your ex online since you always forgot to close your curtains.

Kenma was also intrigued at your reaction. It had been very long since he saw you smiling down at your phone in such a way.

Before the break up, more often than not, there was a slight frown on your face while you were on your phone when you visited home. Your ex leaving yet another message of yours unread or open.

It was always 'do you think he wants to break up?' 'why won't he answer?' 'who's this girl?'

And while he would never think your worries were annoying, he was glad to see you slowly moving on.

"Alright little Miss Y/n," Kuroo startled you out of your little world, "I lost. You gonna avenge me or what?"

"Give me a sec," you told the boy, not wanting to leave Suna on read out of nowhere again.

Alright, it's my turn to get wiped in Smash Bros

I'll ttyl

Not even a few seconds later came Suna's reply.

Later

Have fun

You pocketed your phone, giving Kuroo the stink eye as you did so.

The rooster head laughed in surrender, handing you the controller.

"Don't be embarassed," he jabbed, "what type of e-sex are you having?"

"Fuck off!" You chucked a pillow at his head, which he caught easily.

Ding Dong

"The universe really doesn't want you to win a round," Kenma snorted as he stood up to get the door.

You rolled your eyes, wiggling on the cushion, "Sorry I don't play video games all day. You expecting more company?"

"Nah, it's probably my mom," Kenma replied, turning the knob.

"SENPAI!"

At the loud chorus of yells, you turned around to look at the door. Your eyes met beady green ones and in a split second, you had shot up from your seat on the couch to go and hug the boy.

“Lev!” you exclaimed, squeezing the tall boy as tight as possible, “I missed you!”

Despite being surprised to find you there, he hugged you back, just as excited, “Ah! Senpai, you’re at Kenma’s house! I missed you too!”

The Russian lifted you off the ground for a few moments before setting you back down and freeing you from the hug.

Kuroo had also walked over, choosing to give the younger boy a hug, strongly clasping his shoulders.

“I heard you became captain,” he greeted Lev.

Hearing his title, Lev sheepishly smiled, “Was I that annoying as a first year too?”

“Hey!” Indignant cried came from behind Lev’s back, making you lean over to see past him.

Kenma sighed as he saw the entirety of Nekoma High’s new volleyball team outside his door, “Lev...” he said warningly.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Lev clasped his hands together, looking guilty, “We let it slip that the Kuroo and Kenma were in town for their winter vacations and the volleyball team wanted to meet you.”

“We?” you questioned the male.

“Ack! Sorry for falling behind- the fried chicken smelled really good so I had to buy some!”

From the familiar voice, your body froze, completely missing the apologetic glance that Lev had sent you. He hadn’t known you would be hanging out with Kuroo and Kenma. If he had, he wouldn’t have brought the volleyball team with him, and in turn, his co captain-

“Inuoka?” you breathed out, barely audible.

Your ex, not expecting to see you, also froze, smile dropping from his face for a split second. The two of you stood their, staring at each other for the longest time.

Your heart beat loudly in your chest as you cursed out your younger friend for practically dragging you into the lion’s den. Despite all your insisting that Inuoka had no effect on you, seeing your ex in person again after months had your entire body reacting.

Curse his stupid, cute smile.

“Hey,” he grinned sheepishly at you, “It’s been a while.”

Not wanting to cause a scene in front of Nekoma’s new first and second years, you mustered up a smile yourself.

“Hey.”

As if reading your mind, Inuoka clasped a hand around your elbow, “Let’s catch up,” he said, pulling you towards your house, “privately,” he added under his breath for only you to hear.

You could only mutely nod, trying to give Kuroo, Kenma, and Lev your best it’s okay smile despite feeling like you were on fire. The place where Inuoka touched you felt like it was burning and you prepared yourself for what was coming next.

Whatever that was.

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xxxcertifiednerdxxx · 1 year

Note

my tinder date wants to know why you’re banned from tinder

Ask and ye shall receive!

Gather round, folks, and lend an ear as I tell you about Arnold.

No, he’s not a first date gone wrong, nor is he a scorned ex-lover who came up as a potential match. He isn’t a rival to whom I am bitterly attracted, and he isn’t an unrequited crush.

Arnold is my son.

He is also a rubber chicken.

[image description: a white hand holds a blue rubber chicken against a white wall. The rubber chicken has a red beak, comb, wattles, and feet, as well as a gold collar that’s says “SQUEEZE ME!”]

Let me set the scene.

A couple years ago, on a cold night in late autumn, I went to a grocery store with some friends. We all separated to get what we needed.

I don’t remember if I actually got anything for myself in that trip, but I do remember wandering around, only to come across a giant bin of rubber chickens.

Immediately thinking of the vine where that person presses a bunch of rubber chickens (geese? some sort of fowl) to make a loud noise, I did the same thing, probably to the chagrin of fellow shoppers.

Some of my friends joined me in my shenanigans, and we left the store in a jolly mood.

Days later, one of my roommates, who was one of the friends from the first grocery trip, came back from another grocery trip with a gift for me.

It was a blue and red rubber chicken.

I looked on my new child with complete adoration and named him Arnold. I thanked my roommate with all my heart and left to plan the many hijinks I would get up to with Arnold. (He has admittedly been through a lot, but the wear and tear mostly comes from love.)

One day, i had the bright idea to make Arnold a Tinder account.

I did not give myself much time to consider the idea before diving in. Arnold had a photo shoot, and I uploaded as many photos as Tinder would allow for his profile. I believe I put his age somewhere in the 20s. I picked the option for any gender to match so as many people as possible would see him. According to what I put in his bio, he got the Covid vaccine, has a natural talent for singing, lives with his mom, and likes Kpop.

Then I published his account.

While matching with people amused me at first, keeping Arnold’s Tinder account active eventually became a chore. Every so often, Tinder would email me and say my his account would be hidden if I didn’t open the app and use it.

I swiped through people, and whenever i matched with people, i would just shoot them a simple “yo.” I tried not to carry on any conversations, though, because I myself was not interested in going on any dates. This was just to entertain me and maybe some other people who came across Arnold.

One day, I got an email saying Arnold’s account was reported and I was no longer welcome on Tinder. I assume someone reported Arnold bc he isn’t an actual person, so I was technically breaking the laws of Tinder or whatever. It was honestly a relief; no more swiping through profiles just to keep the account alive.

I still have Arnold, and I still love him. But you will never see him, or me, on a dating app again.

TL/DR: I made a Tinder Account for Arnold, my rubber chicken. It took over half a year, but Arnold’s account was eventually reported for not being a real person, and I was banned from Tinder.

#sorry for such a long answer but I can’t really help being a storyteller #Arnold does have a social media account #I don’t do much with it but it’s there #it’s tied to my personal life tho so I won’t be sharing it here #fun story one time I thought I lost Arnold in my big apartment complex so I ran around the whole place trying to find him #But one of my friends had just hidden him in my mini fridge #another time my room roommate was asleep and I was going to bed #but it was dark and I forgot Arnold was on my bed #So I accidentally laid down on him #she did not wake up thank goodness #In the morning I apologized and she said she didn’t even hear him #arnold the rubber chicken #nerd out #nerd-out #the great tinder tumblr crossover of 2023 #tinder #ask for moi #lengthy article

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