#tip speaks

[thatiranianphantom]

On Ch*ni And How This Version is NOT An Ode To LGBT Representation.

Oh, folks. We've hit that time. We've hit the time where I have to say something aloud, aware as I am that it's RD and criticizing it for being tone deaf and offensive is somewhat pointless.

I have edited the name so that this hopefully doesn't show up in the tag, trying to respect keeping that tag a positive place here. But I gotta say something. And for once, it's not on Madelaine and Vanessa, it's on the writers.

The way that they are portraying Ch*ni is anything but positive LGBT representation.

It's been canonically established that Toni and Cheryl do not know each other in the 50s' verse. Like Toni had never spoken to Cheryl before 701.

And yet somehow, Toni has decided that she knows Cheryl, a stranger's, sexuality. Not only did she decide that, she has decided Cheryl needs to be open about that and come out. Here's a few issues with that, in the form of some lists.

Here are things Cheryl has never done in this verse, up to the end of the current episode:

Confided in Toni that she was struggling with her sexuality

Asked Toni for her advice

Asked Toni what sexuality she'd identify Cheryl with

Requested Toni help her come out

Sought Toni's opinion on her life and her relationships

Told Toni that she was a lesbian.

Here are the things Cheryl did do:

Told Toni more than once that she did not know the inner details of Cheryl's life and explicitly said Toni should stop acting like she knew Cheryl

Made it very clear that she was uncomfortable with Toni's advances.

Show us, the audience, that her family is abusive and unsafe.

And yet, Toni feels it is her personal responsibility to remove Cheryl from the closet, and "play the long game", implying she plans on being with Cheryl once Cheryl has come out. This is....not good. Disclosure of one's sexuality is an incredibly personal process, and one that can only be done by the person themselves. As a bisexual person, I would be incredibly not okay with someone outlining the steps they feel I should take in my own sexuality. That's to say nothing of the fact that it may actually be unsafe for Cheryl to come out.

In the last episode, Toni stated "I was you." She indeed was not, given the fact that she and Cheryl have had maybe three conversations and again, Cheryl has never expressed to Toni that she is requesting her help to come out. The 704 content was, at best, none of Toni's business. Nor was it her place to overtly make Cheryl uncomfortable with her advances. And I am super not okay with the last CH scene given how Toni had been acting thus far, and the show portraying it as empowering or feminist.

The thing is, while I don't think the show has ever been good about LGBT representation, their s2 plot wasn't like this. It never felt like Toni was trying to pressure Cheryl into anything. You could say a lot of things about them as a couple but it didn't feel like Toni decided Cheryl's sexuality and took on the role of the sexuality police.

Anyway. Let me know y'all's opinion. Looking forward to anons calling me a homophobe. Or a racist. Or oftentimes, both!

#Riverdale #TIP speaks #Anti-Ch*ni #More like anti writers but #Could make a whole one on Kevin and Betty too #May later

[whataretheses]

SUBMISSION RULES

(This list will be updated from time to time; please read it fully before submitting an ask. Last updated Thursday, August 3rd.)

Don't ask about something repeatedly in a short timeframe. If you don't see it posted immediately, please be assured that it is either in the queue or the person running this blog is asleep. If it's been more than a full day after you sent your ask, I encourage you to message me for clarification. Sometimes I miss things!

Don't ask about anything illegal or against Tumblr's terms of service.

No NSFW, including gore, animal violence, pornography, etc. While it's not nsfw, I would still like to request you don't put your personal injuries in my askbox. We're not doctors, and I don't feel comfortable posting stuff along those lines.

Not a submission requirement, but hopefully helpful information: Your question will not be marked 'identified' until you confirm that it has been either by an ask, in the replies, or in a reblog. This is to prevent unidentified objects from being marked as identified.

#r/whatisthis #whatisthis #tip speaks

[tiphansia]

Tumblr stop recommending me terf posts challenge (impossible)

#q speaks #tip speaks

[aurorasulphur]

Disclaimer: none of these answers are official, and may not work for your particular use case. If there is a specific feature that an unofficial app had that you don't know how to replicate on the AO3, let me know in the notes and we might can crowdsource a solution.

A lot of people used the Archive Reader app to access stories on Archive of Our Own, and have been upset that the app is now charging to read longer than an hour a day. AO3 (and its parent organization, the OTW) has made it extremely clear in recent days that this app is unofficial and that there *is* no official app. They encourage people to use the website.

However, there are MANY reasons you might want an app, and in a bunch of those cases, there are ways to do those things without having to provide your login information to a random person running an app. Here is a round-up of solutions to the most common reasons I've seen people give for wanting an app instead of the plain AO3 website.

These solutions are based on the following assumptions:

You know what Archive of Our Own is

You often or primarily access it through a mobile device running iOS or Android

You understand what a browser is

You understand what a browser bookmark is

You understand what a site skin is

Edits:

Edited to clarify that you must be logged in to use custom site skins

Edited to add more tips and tricks from the reblogs

Edited to add new entry about notifications/emails

Edited to add new entry about reading statistics and the tracking thereof

I need a widget on my phone's homescreen, not just a browser bookmark.

You can do this with any website, not just AO3! Instructions here: https://www.howtogeek.com/196087/how-to-add-websites-to-the-home-screen-on-any-smartphone-or-tablet/

I need Dark Mode.

AO3 has a default site skin for Dark Mode, it's just called Reversi. Find it here, or at the bottom of any page on the website. https://archiveofourown.org/skins/929/

If you'd like Dark Mode on your whole browser (and you're on Android), sorrelchestnut has advice here: https://www.tumblr.com/sorrelchestnut/737869282153775104/if-you-want-dark-mode-and-dont-want-to-mess

I need to be able to read stories when I don't have internet.

Every work on the AO3 has a download button, so you can click on that and download the story for offline reading in the ereader app of your choice. More info on how to do that is in the AO3 FAQs: https://archiveofourown.org/faq/downloading-fanworks?language_id=en#accesslater

I need to be able to change the text size of the website itself.

If you have an AO3 account (and you should!!) you can do this with a personalized site skin! There is a simple tutorial here: https://www.tumblr.com/ao3skin/667284237718798336/i-have-a-request-if-you-dont-mind-could-you

I need to be able to change the text size in downloaded stories.

My personal recommendation: Don't download in PDF format. All the other formats you can download in can scale the text size up and down, assuming you open the work in the correct app. For me, I download works in EPUB format and read them on the built-in Books app on my iPhone. I hear good things about Moon Reader on Android as well.

I need to be able to replace Y/N in fics with an actual name.

ElectricAlice has a bookmarklet for that here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34796935

I need to be able to save specific tags and not have to search them up every time.

If you have an AO3 account (which you definitely should) then you can favorite up to 20 tags which will appear on the landing page. The AO3 FAQ explains how that works: https://archiveofourown.org/faq/tags?language_id=en#favtag

I need to be able to save specific filters and be able to apply them to any tag.

Reisling's beautiful bookmarklet has you covered: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33825019

I need to be able to permanently hide certain tags.

The best option is adding this to your site skin. (Must be logged in.) Instructions here: https://www.tumblr.com/ao3css/719667033634160640/how-to-permanently-filter-out-certain-tags-on-ao3

I also hear things about the AO3 Enhancements extension (just for Android/desktop, sorry iOS folks): https://www.tumblr.com/emotionalsupportrats/686787582579851265/browser-extension-everyone-on-ao3-should-know

I need it to save my place on the page and not reload.

This is really mostly a browser error--Firefox on iOS does this to me A LOT. Your best bet is to download the work and read it in an ereader app. A lot of people also will make an ao3 bookmark and write in the notes section which part they were at, but that assumes you aren't falling asleep while reading. (Which is the main reason I have this issue, lol.) For more info on bookmarks, see the FAQ: https://archiveofourown.org/faq/bookmarks?language_id=en#whatisbookmark

I need it to keep track of which stories I've already read/opened/kudos'd.

If you have an account (which you should) then the "My History" page keeps track of every fic you've ever clicked on. No, it isn't searchable or sortable, but it does exist. For fics you've kudos'd, I have yet to find a solution for iOS. For desktop or Android, you can use this excellent userscript: https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/5835-ao3-kudosed-and-seen-history

@the-sleepy-archivist and @inkandarsenic have a solution for iOS here to use userscripts: https://www.tumblr.com/the-sleepy-archivist/737895174683885568/this-is-a-great-guide-one-thing-i-can-help-with and https://www.tumblr.com/inkandarsenic/737827438571192320/the-user-scripts-will-also-work-on-ios-there-are

I need an app because the website's search is terrible.

(I genuinely don't understand this one but I have seen it multiple times so on the list it goes!!) The search bar at the top of the screen is a keyword search. If you'd rather search within a specific field (like title or tag) then you'll want to click on the word "search" at the top of the screen and select Work Search or Tag Search. To search users, use People Search. To search Bookmarks, use Bookmark Search. (If this is you, please tell me what the heck you mean by "search is bad" and how an app helped with this.)

I need to be able to sort stories by date posted/number of bookmarks/alphabetical/etc.

You can do this using the filters sidebar. Pick a tag you want to filter on (like a fandom, character, or relationship) and then click on the "Filters" button. The sidebar will pop out and you can sort and filter on a boggling array of specifics. A good filtering guide: https://www.tumblr.com/saurons-pr-department/718665516093472768/if-there-is-something-you-dont-want-to-see-in

I need to be able to mark stories to read later.

AO3 has this feature built in! If you have an account (which you should) there is a "Mark for Later" option on every work.

Edit: Thispersonishuman reminded me that History and Mark For Later can be disabled, so if you're not seeing the Mark for Later option, check your settings.

I need to be able to listen to stories using text-to-speech.

Microsoft Edge web browser has a built in text to speech function. Supposedly it works on both iOS and Android, but I have not personally tested that. iOS also has a native accessibility feature in settings for text to speech that will work on the Books app, so I assume Android has a similar functionality. A bunch of people in the reblogs have more in-depth Android recommendations here: https://www.tumblr.com/protect-namine/737957194510794752/seconding-voice-aloud-on-android-for-tts-my, https://www.tumblr.com/smallercommand/737884523093704704/i-use-voice-for-tts-on-android-its-got-some, and https://www.tumblr.com/doitninetimes/737869463749263360/for-text-to-speech-on-android-you-can-also-check

I need to have in-app notifications for updates/I can't ever find story updates in among the rest of my emails/checking my email stresses me out.

Set up a separate email address using a free service like gmail, and use that email address JUST for AO3. Then the only emails in that inbox will be your story updates. I use Apple's Mail application for all my inboxes, but it's very easy to use the Gmail app instead, and you could log in to JUST the ao3 email and set it to notify for every email.

(Also as a general PSA: don't use your work, school, or military email as your AO3 email. Just don't.)

I want statistics like how many hours I spent reading, how many words I read, what my most read tags were, stuff like that.

So we've finally hit something that isn't easy and that requires a hell of a lot of manual work. Short version: AO3 does not track this data because they don't want to. (Mostly due to privacy concerns.) The lack of this tracking is a feature, not a bug. You can crunch these numbers yourself, but it will take a hell of a lot more effort, and it's something I personally found is not worth the effort the couple of times I have tried to crunch those numbers. If you are willing to download your history to an actual computer (not a tablet or chromebook) using Calibre, you can get a rough idea of your most popular tags via their tag browser, but it won't play nice with typos synned to a Common Tag (Canonical Tag/filterable tag) like ao3 does. (If anyone has used an app that gave you stats on this, please let me know in reblogs/replies/via ask how that worked because I am very curious.)

I need an app because <other reason>.

The AO3 Unofficial Browser Tools FAQ might cover your use case: https://archiveofourown.org/faq/unofficial-browser-tools?language_id=en If not, give a shout and we'll see what other tumblr users suggest!

#ao3 #archive of our own #ao3 app #ao3 tips #if you want official answers please use the contact forms on the ao3 or otw websites #standard disclaimer that while i am an otw volunteer i do not speak for the organization #my opinions are my own and do not represent anyone else

[csuitebitches]

Do you think you speak too fast/ too slow?

Here is what I learned from a speech coach.

warm up:

start this exercise by taking a deep breath and saying “aaaaah” - try to extend this to 30 seconds. Now if it doesn’t go till 30, that’s fine. Aim to work your way to that. If you can work it up to 30, go for 45/60 seconds. Do this 5 times.

next. Download an app called Metronome beats. It’s basically what singers/ musicians use for beats.

Settings: keep beats/bar as 1,

clicks/beats as 1

start at 90. It will start with a click sound and continue “beeping.”

Match your words to the beep. One beep = one word. Now slowly, increase the beat by 5 till you reach 110. Increase it at your own pace but try to spend at least 20 seconds on each number (90 for 20 seconds; 95 for 20; 100 for 20….) That’s when you stop.

either start by reading something out loud and matching the beat, or select a topic and speak freely.

do this every single day. This will help with your breath, if you’re speaking on a topic it will help you think better and improve over time. The best way to further complement this exercise is to improve your vocabulary. Try to learn 1-3 new words a day and incorporate it in your vocabulary.

This is a great tool to use when learning new languages too. You can practice your speaking skills and see how fast you can remember/ read words.

#c suite #personal growth #ceo aesthetic #powerful woman #strong women #that girl #productivity #getting your life together #balance #Speech #How to speak #speech therapy #breath work #speaking #small talk #speaking confidence #How to #giving a speech #Talking publicly #Presenting tips #presenting #speaking tips

[positivelyadhd]

i have been reading through the diary I kept from ages 14-17 and realising how helpful it can be to keep a record of how you're feeling at different moments.

not only is it helpful to write down and process how your feeling and give yourself time to truly think about it, it's nice to have something to look back on. to not just remember how you felt about a certain situation but to actually have yourself from that time tell you.

and also, from an adhd perspective, it's really lovely to have reminders of things I'd almost entirely forgotten. it's easy to think that your life right now isn't interesting, but in 5 years time? to know what songs you were listening to or book you were reading or even that Thing that you were so worried about but now you can't even remember the details. it's nice to have a physical reminder that time passes and things really can get better.

#i think part of whats makes it so special to me is that (like it is for a lot of people) those ages where so *much* #and i was so stuck in my head and socially anxious and i feel like those years of school rly shaped who i am now ect #but id kind of forgotten? its become a blur emotions over time and its nice to see it clearer #but also how i changed? and to read into it and see what i did or didn't write #im also a big fan of the inner child and doing things for your younger self and its a lovely gift to have her speaking to me directly #also if you want to journal i highly recommend doing it in a normal notebook rather than a pre planned one #it gives you the freedom for it to be whatever you want with none of the pressure #recovery #tips

[pens-swords-stuff]

Look, most people don't go from hating their writing to loving it overnight. Learning how to accept it despite its flaws and coexisting with it even if it's not good is an important step in between.

#writing #writeblr #writing advice #writing help #writing tips #undine gives advice #undine speaks

[satans-knitwear]

doesnt really feel like a tuesday at all

Treat me ~ Tip me ~ More of me

#decidedly unfancy but 🤷 we will have other fancy tuesdays #satans knitwear #putting regular clothes on for stealth purposes. and my skin hurts so it had to be comfy stuff i could leave the house in. #stupid appointments when i should be in my pjs all day with a cool flannel on my head and no one making me speak out loud. #i am so hopeless when ill. #alt pinup #pretty lingerie #lingerie reveal #or the opposite of that actually #bi girl #cheeky #uk girl #wlw #my gif to you #any tips or treats would really cheer me up rn 💕

[thatiranianphantom]

My Favorite B*rchie Moments

You know, it has been said in the past that I'm too negative about B*rchie. The word "hater" has been thrown around. "Anti", if you will. Some have gotten the message that I disapprove of B*rchie.

Well, my dear followers and Melinda, I am nothing if not cognizant of my own flaws. Reflective, you may say. Basically a mirror. So here, as repentence, I offer a small smattering of my very favorite B*rchie moments. Also, special thanks to @thetaoofbetty for her contributions to remembering the love story of the ages.

Them being so in love and not talking for 7 years.

This declaration of love:

3. Archie announcing he was joining the army and Veronica instantly being like "absolutely the fuck not" while Betty was like "well whatever you need to do, boo, try not to die."

4. When Veronica sings Archie's song and she looks at him like "you absolute fucking imbecile how could you be so stupid".

5. When the BAs were told to watch in 1x13, and Betty flat out told Archie that she was glad they'd found the right people they were supposed to be with.

6. The s2 kiss which was immediately met with "we're never going to talk about this again"

7. Archie's general s5 FWB attitude of "yeah the sex is nice but like she really does have a lot of thoughts"

8. The run of 8 or so episodes in s6 where they not only didn't interact, but it was followed up with them deciding whether or not they were actually dating.

9. The s6 premiere wherein Betty got her sperm and then gleefully cosigned sacrificing Archie.

10. That time she shot him in the head on their wedding day then made out with Jughead on his bed.

A love that dare not speak its name, truly. A romance for the ages. Soulmates.

Feel free to add, my dear followers. Spread the B*rchie love!

#TIP speaks #Riverdale #Anti-B*rchie #Oh god this was fun #Wait did that anti tag give me away? #DRAT

[samglyph]

Ghost Hunter Au Part 1/2

Next

This is my entry for the Malevolent “write in your style event”, @malevolent-monthly!

I wasn’t initially planning on participating since this is a writing event and not an illustration one, but the prompt immediately inspired me so I got the go ahead to make a little comic! Part two out soon.

ID in Alt text provided by @shadow0haven

If you like what I do and want to see more, consider donating to my ko-fi!

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #malevolent fanart #arthur lester #parker yang #peter yang #I’m gonna be honest. the problem with making a Parker centric project is that now if my wish is granted and Parker ever speaks in podcast #all of my shit will suddenly become less canon. I just want him to be a little guy in my brain #but anyway I had fun with this it was a good exercise #and I hope you all enjoy it too! #please consider tipping though I glanced at my procreate statistics and frankly I spent way too many hours on this #I told myself ‘oh it’s just going to be a quick low effort like 6 page thing’ and then 12 pages later…..

[tiphansia]

You know you've been scrolling too long when you see your own queued posts on your dash...

#q speaks #tip speaks

[shima-draws]

Sanji: Honestly, I can't believe you! You have someone as pretty as Boa Hancock obsessing over you and you don't even--

Luffy: Sanji's prettier though

Sanji: I

Sanji: What??

Luffy: I guess Hancock looks nice. For a girl anyway. But Sanji's way, way prettier than she is

Sanji: *squeaks* O-oh

#Imagine the most pathetic warbling little squeak coming out of Sanji's throat. That's his reaction. LMAO #Luffy: Shishishi. Sanji turned BRIGHT red #Sanji blushing to the tips of his ears: Shut up shut up do NOT look at me right now #Everyone fussing over Hancock and how beautiful she is and then Luffy gets angry #Luffy: Sanji's a thousand times more beautiful though!! >:((((( #Sanji: DO YOU *WANT* HER TO KILL ME??? #Luffy: But you are!! :"( #Sanji: I can't. I can't do this I ca #Sanji; hiding his face in his hands: 😳😳😳 #One Piece #Sanlu #Lusan #Sanji #Luffy #Monkey D Luffy #Black Leg Sanji #Shima speaks #Back on my Sanlu silliness 🤪

[csuitebitches]

On Being Well Spoken

I recently received a request about posting something regarding being well spoken.

Something you need to realise is that you’re not going to become well-spoken overnight. You need to practice on people. You need to SPEAK.

I used to stutter so badly that I could barely speak a whole sentence.

Flash forward a few years. I pitched my start up in front of a crowd, I joined Model United Nations in high school and college, I’ve been invited to speak on my entrepreneurial experience by some top universities in my country. It’s taken a lot to get here. And I’m still not where I want to be.

1. Apps to track progress and help you get better at public speaking

An app that you can use: “Speeko.”

I used to use this, it is beginner friendly and you can improve your public speaking skills as well.

2. Use topic generators

Go online and look up a topic generator. Generate a random topic, video yourself speaking on that topic. Don’t give yourself time to prepare anything - read the topic and start speaking. Set a time limit - you’ll realise that speaking for even 2 minutes can be quite difficult at times.

Not only does this make you realise that you may have limited language skills, but it will also make you realise exactly where you’re falling behind. Note down things in a journal.

- is grammar the issue?

- Lack of vocabulary?

- Too many filler sounds?

- Knowledge gap?

This is also a great idea if you’re at an intermediate level of learning a language/ polishing a language. Do this everyday and maintain a diary on your improvement.

3. Reading out loud

Select a news article or any article. Read out loud, slowly and steadily. Pronounce every syllable calmly.

A two minute read should take 5 minutes to read out loud. That’s how slow you should go. Not more than 4-5 words per breath.

Your tongue needs to get used to different syllables and sounds. Practice will help.

4. Talk in real life

Talk to anyone and everyone whenever you can.

Ask your barista how their day is going.

Ask your work or university security if they’ve had a good day and if they ate today.

Chat with your taxi driver about their life. I always start with asking them if they are from the city we’re travelling in. Even if you’re from that city, act like a tourist. Where are the best eateries? The conversation eventually goes to personal questions. How many children do they have, and what do they do? What do they like about the city?

You’ll learn the art of small talk only through practice. No book or guide can actually prepare you. You have to practice, practice and practice.

5. Diaphragm breathing

Diaphragm breathing is very important. Look up some YouTube videos for reference. You essentially breathe from your tummy (stomach goes in and out; not chest going up and down). This is a great calming exercise too.

6. Stuttering tongue/ jaw exercise videos

These are great because they really do prep your jaw and tongue well. The videos could include tongue stretches, placing your tongue on your palette correctly, etc. Search on YouTube.

7. Body posture

You really need to work on your posture too. Sit up straight. Back, STRAIGHT. Chin up, shoulders relaxed. Something as simple as posture can change your level of confidence.

8. Pranayama

A yoga exercise for breathing. You can find a guided video on YouTube for sure.

9. Vocabulary

Invest your time in expanding your vocabulary. There’s enough apps and games that can help you with that, if you aren’t fond of reading. A sign of being well spoken is having great vocabulary.

Start by looking up the synonyms of everyday words.

“I’m upset”

- how many different words can you find for upset?

“I had a crazy day today”

- one can easily use “hectic”, “chaotic” “lively” instead

10. Idioms

Idioms, phrases, sayings - look up common idioms in your language of choice. Aim to use at least 3 new idioms on 3 separate occasions in a week while you speak. You need to understand when and where you can use the idioms in your vocabulary.

11. Knowing when to switch

You can’t talk like a 50 year old heiress to a 10 year old child; you need to get down to their level.

If someone is clearly not a native speaker and is struggling to put words together, don’t use difficult words around them.

If you’re meeting with someone high profile, refrain from using slang.

The best speakers know when to switch their level of language.

You can’t use one singular type of speaking with everyone. You need to understand that there is a time and place for everything - and you’ll be able to switch like a pro only when you actually speak and start gaining experience.

#c suite #powerful woman #ceo aesthetic #personal growth #that girl #productivity #strong women #getting your life together #feminine energy #balance #speaking #public speaking #speech #speaking tips #speech tips #stammering #stammering tips #practice #debate #MUN #speak out loud #how to speak confidently #being well spoken #well spoken #talk to me #how to talk #how to talk to people #small talk #conversation #conversationalist

[torahtot]

without looking it up, do you know the basics of the chanukah story, meaning the history and reason we celebrate, as opposed to, for example, just knowing that it's a jewish holiday in the winter where we light menorahs

answer using the jewish options if you're in the process of converting

#nachi speaks #Jew blogging #chanukah #polls #pro gamer tip use the hebrew spelling & two english versions so nobody can start fighting about the spelling

[paradoxlemonade]

ADHD PRO TIP: if your space continually ends up cluttered, then your stuff is probably too difficult to put away or includes too many steps.

Let me explain.

Our brains can only handle so many steps in a task before the "eh, I'll do it later" instinct kicks in. When this happens, we set the object down on the nearest flat surface and let it pile up. Once it's down, it becomes scenery and we stop worrying about it (...until the clutter becomes stressful).

I have art supplies under my bed that can only be accessed by taking everything else out from under there first. Once I've done that and used my item, I never want to put it back because it's an entire ordeal. "I'll do it later." Yeah no the fuck I won't.

The solution was one of these bad boys:

Wheels so it can be moved around, clear so I can see what's in it, and separate drawers so I can store multiple types of objects separately. It's much easier to toss something back in the drawer than rearrange the underside of my bed for the fifth time.

Another example is laundry. It's practically a universal experience that ADHD people will move the laundry basket around our room instead of actually putting the clothes away. I do it frequently. While I can't eliminate that entirely, I can mitigate it for one simple reason: I hang up my shirts. Why have I been folding my shirts to put them in the basket, only to unfold them to hang them up? It's way more effective to just bring a bunch of hangers to the laundry room with me and go straight from dryer to hanger to closet.

The less steps a cleaning task has, the more likely we are to get it done.

#i had an epiphany #actually adhd #executive dysfunction #adhd life #adhd tips #idea speaks #idea original post

[aesethewitch]

Personal Protection: Surviving the Holidays

I'm of the opinion that far too many people around this time of year are fucking around, and it's high time they get to the finding out part. With major holidays right around the corner, many of us will be facing relatives we'd rather not see, parties we'd rather not go to, and conversations we'd rather avoid or exit as soon as possible. Political spats, unwanted opinions, snide remarks -- I believe that what you give out, you ought to receive back.

So, obviously, let's do some magic about it.

There are three main components to my method:

The Bubble;

The Quills; and

The Shake

The Bubble

Exactly what it sounds like, "the bubble" is the outermost layer of protection around you. It's the barrier between you and the unpleasantness you're trying to keep out.

The bubble can be one item carried or worn (such as a hat, crystal, or charm), or it can be multiple. I usually spring for two items, one to absorb/recycle and one to bounce/return to sender.

Absorb:

I've got a relative who is, at their essence, a fucking downer. That would be fine if not for the fact that if they're having a bad time or are mildly uncomfortable, it's about to be everyone's problem. This kind of negativity is something to absorb, not bounce. Sending it back would only double their misery, and that's no good for anyone.

So, instead, I have a special charm that I make for occasions when I know they're going to be around. It consists of a little piece of sponge that's sat in salt for a while atop a transformative sigil. The sponge, once fully charged and ready, will absorb the negative energy and recycle it into more positive feelings.

This means that their negativity won't impact me at all, and I actively improve the atmosphere. Their bad attitude can't do anything if everyone around us is only getting good vibes. The charm is powered by the exchange of negative to positive energy, so it requires no charging. However, it's smart to discard the sponge once it's done its job.

Bounce:

But sometimes, somebody's got to face real consequences. There are some things I don't want to deal with at all. Like gross political opinions from my conservative, religious family members. Or questions about having children.

The idea of the bounce is to reflect things before they reach me. It's a sort of glamor spell that projects an aura of "don't bother." It essentially lets me be passed over for conversations I want to leave or avoid entirely by bouncing attention away from me.

Negative energy, bad vibes, whatever you want to call it -- the goal is to return it to where it's coming from. Someone who's being an asshole will feel like an asshole. If it works right, they'll stop talking altogether because they're so irritated with what they're saying. I've had aggressive, vocal relatives go completely silent because they were receiving their own rancid energy back to themselves instead of the attention they were hoping for.

For me, this spell takes the form of a charm on my keys. It's a form of an evil eye charm -- not the blue-eyed stare you most likely think of, but another symbol meant to distract attention from me to it. It's a little pewter casting of the fig sign, an old and obscene gesture. It works on malevolent spirits best, but it does a great job of repelling unfortunate people, too. It bounces their nonsense back to themselves, often causing confusion, which forces them to reconsider what they're saying.

Again, this lives on my keys, which live in a key bowl when they're not clipped to my pocket or belt loop. The key bowl has a multi-purpose charging setup for the keys, my wallet, and other assorted charms I might wear when I go out.

The Quills

Sometimes, things get past our main line of defenses. That's fine, it happens. But under these circumstances, it happens because someone has deliberately crossed a line. So now, they get the quills.

When I say "the quills," you should be picturing something like a porcupine. Adorable, yes, but fuck with it at your own risk. Those quills aren't just for show, and neither should yours be. This is your second line of defense, and it's where we turn to offense.

Accordingly, the quills aren't passive spells like the bubble. These require conscious activation and direction to give you maximum control over their output. You can make your quills passive, but I often find that baneful workings work best when you're specifically choosing to use them.

Yes, baneful, and let me be perfectly clear: The goal is to harm whoever's crossed the line. You're not just returning to sender. You're catching what they've thrown at you, lighting it on fire, and pitching it back at full force.

To that end, there are two approaches I typically take (and are you sensing a pattern? I like to do things in twos). One spell to sharpen the tongue and give as good as I've gotten, and one to induce the smallest of lingering curses on the target.

Sharpen

The whole point of the quills is to make yourself an inconvenient, difficult target. Part of being difficult to swallow is not going down easily. Often, the answer is to avoid the conversation or problem altogether, but it isn't always possible. Or satisfying.

Sometimes, you gotta take a bitch down.

For me, this charm needs to do two things. It should boost my confidence in standing my ground and add some oomph to my argument. I have a pin with a particular design on it charmed for this purpose. The needle operates as the quill for stabbing (the oomph), and the design provides the confidence. Anointed with my Fuck Off Oil and laid in a dish of salt, garlic, and red chili flakes, the pin becomes extra spicy and effective.

This one has to be recharged each time it's used. It always lives on the same jacket, but I'll anoint it regularly to keep it fresh. If I use the charm on someone, I'll take the pin off at the end of the night and set it in the spicy salt mixture.

Linger

By far one of the most effective methods for reducing nonsense from unpleasant people I interact with regularly is lingering consequences. When someone associates bad luck with interacting with you, even on a subconscious level, they tend to avoid you.

Consider this the "slow poison" on the quills. The goal isn't to ruin their life by any means (although, I suppose you could...). It's just to make yourself unpalatable on an instinctive level. Think of how poisonous frogs are brightly colored to display that they're, you know, deadly. That's what we're doing here.

I prefer to use something kind of dangerous. Something you can hold onto and point with is best, in my experience. I've used a broken piece of glass, a rusty nail or screw, and various thorns. Right now, I'm using one half of a rusty pair of old cooking shears. The handle broke, but the blades are still sharp as hell. Waste not, and all that.

Anoint whatever the sharp, dangerous thing is in an oil infused with herbs and spices of your choice (again, the Fuck Off Oil is a good example). Or, if you prefer, coat it in something like hot sauce, urine, rust, or other corrosive and unpleasant things. Once prepared, stow it in your bag. Or your glove box, if you drive, since this makes a nice on-the-go curse to cast at shitty drivers.

You don't need to pull it out for it to work, but if you can get to a safe, secluded space (like a bathroom), it can help you focus. When you're creating it, you should set up an activation word, phrase, or motion. I prefer a motion -- something like tapping wherever the object is, a swirling movement with my hand, and then pointing at the target.

The curse you place is up to you. I tend to go for something like feeling nauseous or getting a headache. The spell should draw a connection between them being nasty to you and the unpleasant feeling, whether overt or subconscious. They'll be more cautious and reluctant to be a dick to you afterwards.

The Shake

Like a dog. Get that shit off of yourself.

No matter how thorough you are, there are always gaps and particularly stubborn people getting into them. Something they say just sticks to you like a burr, sharp and irritating. Or depressing, maybe.

The idea behind the shake is literal. You're forcibly removing the heavy weight or annoying itch someone else has placed on you. The shake isn't necessarily an item like with the bubble and quills. It can be, but it doesn't have to be.

Essentially, the steps to the shake are:

Identify what feels bad

Shake that shit

Resume normal activities

Maybe it's the neurodivergent in me, but physical movement is incredibly soothing. Self-regulation tactics are essential for survival. Transforming that into a little spell ritual at the same time is just two birds with one stone.

When things get overwhelming or I can feel my bubble failing to keep everything out at once (such as if a fight breaks out or someone decides to go in depth about one of my triggers), I remove myself from the situation. That's the first step. Retreat to a safe place, whether that's outside, in my car, in the bathroom, or elsewhere that's quiet. The second step is to figure out where in my body the anxiety or bad feeling is sitting. Often, it's in my shoulders and hands, but sometimes it's elsewhere.

Step three is to fucking shake. Shake those hands, roll my shoulders, jump up and down. Whatever it takes. As I do, I'm forcibly dislodging everything unpleasant out of myself and into the open air. And because I've got the negativity-absorbing bubble, it'll take the bad feeling and repurpose it into something more positive. Then, once I'm better, I can go back.

Again, you don't need an object for this, but you can certainly create one. Options would be comforting items, fidget toys, or even something like a joint. Sometimes, you just gotta blow smoke about it. You know?

Fun fact, though: You could also carry a vessel to contain the Bad Feelings for later use instead of letting your bubble absorb them. This comes in handy for people who are particularly abusive... as an example of what you want them to experience under the force of a more involved cursing.

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