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#tips for dates
theambitiouswoman · 10 months
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Types of relationships that look like love but are not:
Infatuation: This is an intense emotional or sexual attraction to someone that can give the illusion of love. However, infatuation is often based on idealized perceptions rather than a deep emotional connection.
Codependency: Codependent relationships involve one person excessively relying on another for emotional or physical needs. This dependency can mimic love, but it is rooted in the need for validation, control, or a sense of purpose.
Unrequited love: This refers to a situation where one person has romantic feelings for another, but those feelings are not reciprocated. It may involve one-sided affection, longing, or an obsession with someone who does not feel the same way.
Limerence: Limerence is an intense and obsessive form of attraction characterized by intrusive thoughts, longing for reciprocation, and an idealized image of the other person. It can feel like love, but it often lacks a genuine emotional connection.
Conditional love: In relationships based on conditional love, affection and care are only given when certain conditions or expectations are met. This type of relationship lacks unconditional acceptance and can be manipulative or controlling.
Trauma bond: A trauma bond forms when two individuals share intense emotional experiences, often negative or abusive. Despite the harmful dynamics, there may be a strong attachment due to the shared trauma, leading to a mistaken perception of love.
Transactional relationships: These relationships are based on mutual benefit or convenience rather than genuine emotional connection. Partners may stay together for financial security, social status, or other practical reasons, rather than genuine love and affection.
Manipulative relationships: Manipulative relationships involve one person exerting control and power over the other through emotional manipulation, coercion, or gaslighting. The manipulator may feign love and affection to gain control or exploit their partner's vulnerabilities.
Fantasy relationships: In fantasy relationships, one or both partners create an idealized version of the other person, often based on unrealistic expectations or fantasies. The relationship may lack a true emotional connection, as it is based on the person's fantasy rather than the reality of who their partner is.
One-sided relationships: These relationships are characterized by an imbalance of effort, care, or emotional investment. One person may consistently give more while the other takes without reciprocation. It can create an illusion of love, but it lacks equality and mutual respect.
Love addiction: Love addiction refers to a compulsive or obsessive pattern of seeking out relationships and being dependent on the euphoric feeling of being in love. It can lead to a cycle of unhealthy relationships, as the person seeks constant validation and excitement without addressing underlying emotional issues.
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sk-lumen · 10 months
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Date by honoring your nervous system.
This took me a long while to realize, but once I did, it changed how I see dating and chemistry. Let me explain.
When you realize that chemistry and flying sparks have zero correlation with compatibility, you've leveled up your dating mindset.
Most often those sparks and butterflies you feel, that's your subconscious picking up on familiar toxic patterns in the other person. Patterns which remind you of past experiences or even childhood trauma. Our brains are designed to see familiarity as safe, so when toxic dynamics are all you know, this can turn against you. You have to conscious rewire your brain, and be intentional and aware of how they make you feel.
Toxicity = familiar = safe = we interpret it as attraction. If they make your nervous system go haywire, we see this as chemistry and sparks flying, but it is actually alarm bells going off to signal we are not safe.
Healthy = unfamiliar = can feel unsafe and scary. We may interpret a vanilla, calm, comfortable interaction as a lack of chemistry. But there is a difference between no physical attraction, and being attracted to someone but not feeling any sparks. The latter is normal in the beginning. If your nervous system feels calm, they make you feel comfortable and at ease, that's a good sign!
So if there's any advice I would give to my younger self, it's this: date based on how he makes your nervous system feel. Does he make you feel safe, comfortable, at ease? That's the green flag to go for.
-Lumen
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luxaofhesperides · 5 months
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Ghostlights where Phantom saves Duke or the Signal, and a week later (at a Wayne gala or some other place) Duke recognizes the light/aura coming from Danny
Putting off gala prep was perhaps not the best plan. Duke spent the past month insisting that everything is fine and he has it under control. Duke is also a lying liar who lies, and now he’s frantically trying to pick up his suit in time to get it dry cleaned and altered as necessary. 
Alfred would be disappointed in him, but in Duke’s defense, he had to go out of town on a mission to bust a growing drug cartel, and then spent half a week visiting a shelter for metas on the run (unofficial and hidden away) to help everyone find new homes and learn to control their powers. These things take time!
Unfortunately, gala prep also takes time, and since it’s a charity gala for funding the education of every Gothamite student, it’s not one he can slip out of. The entire family is being strong-armed into attending and not making a scene until the donation period in the first half is over. 
Duke knows he’s not the only one who’s scrambling to get ready for a gala that’s taking place in three days, but they’re not helping him, so it feels like he’s the only one messing up. 
“Sorry!” he calls behind him as he sprints through a group of people. 
He could have asked someone to drive him, but he knows they’re all busy and doesn’t want his own poor time management to cause problems for anyone else. Even though he’s sure Bruce is looking for an excuse to get out of a mandatory Wayne Enterprises board meeting that both Lucius and Tim dragged him to.
RIP Bruce. He will be missed.
The Diamond District is full of people walking the streets, sprinting between parked cars and waiting for their rides. They’re all dressed nicely, making him feel out of place. It’s a feeling that’s never left him since he joined the Waynes but it’s particularly bad when he’s left to navigate these spaces alone. Rich people and socialites are a different kind of human, one that Duke doesn’t care to understand; there’s greed in all of them, turning them heartless, and they can give as much as they want to charity but it won’t change the fact that all they do is a performance to make people like them, rather than a desire to do anything good. 
The sooner this is over, the better. He keeps going, hoping that he can still make it to his appointment with the tailor. Alfred recommended the store, then set up the appointment, so all Duke has to do is trust their judgment as they get him fitted. He’s still got twenty minutes until the scheduled time, but some unspoken rule makes it so he has to show up fifteen minutes early for better service or risk being turned away and told to reschedule. 
Duke slows to a walk when he catches sight of the store, the trying to catch his breath and look more composed before he reaches the door. He takes a moment to straighten his clothes a bit, then opens the door and steps in.
The bell jingles pleasantly above his head. The store is empty of any other customers, and the employee at the front counter looks up with a plastered on smile. 
“I’ll be with you in a moment!” she says, then looks down at her phone and types something out before placing it under the counter. A tablet comes out instead and she swipes through a few screens, then sets it down and look at Duke again. “How can I help you, sir?”
“I have an appointment? For a suit fitting. Under the name Thomas.”
She taps on the screen for a minute, then nods and gives him another customer service smile. “Alright, I’ll go ahead and grab the tailor. They’ll be out with your suit soon. Please, feel free to take a seat or browse some of our suits. We just recently got a new collection in from Italy.”
“Sure, thanks. I’ll just… be here, I guess.”
The employee takes her tablet and disappears through a door, leaving him alone in the store. He doesn’t want to sit down, not while his heart is still trying to settle from his sprint through half of Diamond District, so Duke wanders around the neat stacks of dress shirts and vests, pants and belts and shoes lined up neatly against the walls. 
He takes a moment to shoot Alfred a text that he’s at the tailor for his fitting appointment. Steph’s sent him a long string of videos online, and he’s just about to go through them when the bell rings again. 
Duke glances up and watches a guy walk into the store. He looks around, makes eye contact with Duke, then quickly looks down, taking a seat by the door.
Probably another upper class citizen uncomfortable with the fact that someone in jeans and a hoodie is shopping for suits. Shaking his head lightly, Duke wanders deeper into the store to get some distance between them so they could ignore each other more easily. It’s only until the tailor comes out, and then he can go to a fitting room and be done with this whole thing, so Duke resigns himself to suffering through the tense silence. 
How long is he even supposed to wait? He can only look at clothes in one of three colors before he gets bored. 
He goes to another rack, trying to see if he can notice anything different about these shirts. 
And then he hears a shoe scuff against the floor behind him. He tenses up, but before he can turn around, a belt is wound around his throat, pulling him back and choking him. 
Duke drops his weight, tucking his chin and gets a hand against the inside of the belt to try to push it away. His back hits someone’s chest and he’s trapped, focused on trying not to be choked to death while also keeping his vigilante abilities and meta powers secret. 
More footsteps come from behind, and a soaked cloth is pressed against his nose and mouth.
Chloroform, he realizes, familiar with the smell from Bruce’s training. But training isn’t enough to keep him from being knocked out, and he quickly slips away from the waking world, falling to the ground. 
Just before he passes out completely, he hears the employee who greeted him say, “I’m not sure how much Wayne would be willing to pay for him, but let’s start high and negotiate lower. New kid can’t possibly be worth that much…”
Duke wakes up groggily, memories of what happened quickly snapping into place. He’s too out of it still to get up, but he’s awake enough to be offended. Sure he’s the new kid, and barely even a Wayne, but he’s still worth a lot!
Kidnappers these days. So rude.
He doesn’t hear anyone around him, and it feels like he’s lying on a cold concrete floor. Basement, maybe? Warehouse? Storage unit tucked away somewhere? There’s nothing much to see when Duke is able to open his eyes, squinting bareilly at his surroundings. His arms are tied behind him, wrists bound, but they left his legs alone. 
If he could just hit the panic button on his bracelet…
Duke wiggles around, fighting through the lingering effects of Chloroform, and manages to sit up. If he strains his hearing, he thinks he can hear voices outside of the empty room he’s been left in. There’s a window high up, too high for a normal person to reach without help, but if he can use the shadows to travel through it, then he may be able to escape on his own. 
First things first: he needs to free his hands before anyone comes in to check on him.
They used zip ties on him, which is inconvenient. He’s learned how to get out of them, but it’s difficult enough without being drugged and having to do it behind his back. 
He’s feeling the zip ties bite into his wrists just as there’s a crash from outside the room. His kidnappers yell, alarmed, and are quickly silenced. That’s rarely ever a good sign. Duke renews his efforts to escape, ignore the pain in pushing against his binds like this. 
The door opens. Duke hears the small click of a lock disengaging and freezes. Then he gets to his feet, still unsteady, and prepares to ram his head into anyone who comes near him like some sort of deranged battering ram, or a drunk raging bull. 
Duke is ready for the worst: a gang hoping to steal away a Wayne hostage, a Rogue, Gnomon popping in to cause trouble for the sole purpose of getting on Duke’s nerve. 
He’s not expecting another teenage boy, who is literally glowing, to poke his head in and zero in on Duke. He blinks, then smiles; it’s friendly and sincere, nothing like the employee who helped kidnap him. 
“Hey!” he says, coming into the room properly. He’s floating a good foot off the ground, eyes a bright neon green, with white hair that sways as if he’s underwater. “Are you okay? I saw them drag you out of the back of the store and followed them, but I got a bit lost. Sorry for taking so long to get here.”
“...It’s fine?” Duke offers, trying to wrap his head around what’s happening. “I wasn’t expecting a rescue so soon, anyways. Think you can help me out here?”
“Yeah, of course!” he flies closer, then drops down to the ground behind Duke. He hums lightly under his breath, and then Duke feels a cold touch on his wrist and the zip ties are suddenly gone. 
Duke blinks, then brings his arms in front of him. He moves around a bit to make sure he’s not hallucination, and sure enough, he’s free and unbound because a random meta teenager vanished the zip ties into the ether, or something. 
“Thanks, man. Any idea where we are?”
“Not a clue. I got lost coming here, and I was following them. I don’t think you should trust any directions I give.”
“Fair enough,” Duke laughs. “I’m Duke, by the way.”
“Phantom.”
“Well, thanks for the save, Phantom. Can I treat you to something?”
“Like, coffee?”
“Sure. Or brunch, or ice cream. Whatever you want, really.”
Phantom considers it for a moment, then shakes his head. “Sorry, I would love to but going out in public looking like this,” he gestures to himself, “Is not a great idea. Thanks for the offer though. You got a ride?”
Duke pats his pockets, then sighs. “My phone’s gone. I still have my wallet, though.”
“I fly you to someplace you can call someone, if you’d like.”
“You sure? I could probably just walk out of here and call a taxi.”
“I don’t think walking around by yourself after being kidnapped is a great idea,” Phantom says, doubtfully. “Seriously, let me fly you.”
He should just hit the panic button and wait for someone to show up to get him. He shouldn’t go to some unknown location with a meta he literally just met. 
But, you know what? No one else can say they got kidnapped twice in one day, so Duke nods and says, “Sure, sweep me off my feet, Phantom. You gotta commit to this rescue.”
Phantom laughs. And then he does sweep Duke off his feet into a princess carry with a cheeky grin and flies them out the building, which turns out to be an abandoned apartment building slated for demolition. 
“Keep this up and you’ll be replacing Superman in no time,” Duke jokes.
“I think I could manage it,” Phantom replies thoughtfully. “I mean, I’m already prettier than him, don’t you think?”
“Oh, definitely. The glow really brings out your eyes.”
Phantom gets him a few blocks away when Duke recognizes where they are, and quickly directs him into Crime Alley. They land on top of one of Jason’s safe houses, and while he’s sure there’s enough security to take out a SWAT Team, that’s absolutely not going to stop him from breaking in to use one of Jason’s burner phones and eat his leftovers. 
He’s set down on his feet gently, and as soon as Phantom sees that he’s fine, able to walk and everything, he floats back up, just out of reach.
“Be careful, okay?” he says, getting ready to leave.
“I’ll do my best. Hey, are you gonna be in Gotham for a while, or…?”
Phantom gives him a tired smile. “Nah. I’m just passing through. As long as my luck doesn’t get even worse, then I should be out of here in a few days.”
“Shame,” Duke says, giving Phantom a very visible once over. He’s pretty tall, and Duke can see some muscle on him, and the tight black outfit really adds to his look. The glow that comes out of his chest makes him look ethereal and Duke is beyond glad that he got such a charming rescuer.
Phantom doesn’t blush like a normal person. He glows brighter instead, curling into himself a bit as he looks away, unable to stop the smile from growing on his face. 
“I guess,” he shrugs. “Are you really going to be alright from here?”
“Yeah, man, I have a friend who lives here. I’ll just bother him until he agrees to give me a ride.”
“Alright.” Phantom drifts away, glancing behind him before turning back to Duke. “I’ll get going then. Take care, Duke!”
Duke waves and watches as Phantom begins to fly away. Then Phantom… disappears? Or rather, his body does but Duke can see an orb of light making its way across Gotham, almost like a star fallen from the sky.
He stays on the roof until the light is long gone. When he’s finally ready to go in and steal from Jason, the sun has completely set. 
And he still doesn’t have his suit.
Duke sighs, and mentally prepares himself to other day of stressing out about the gala.
Three days of stress and last minute scrambling leave Duke in the Gotham Museum of Modern Art with Steph, Tim, Cass, and Damian. They’re hiding in the photography gallery to avoid other guests, taking a break from being polite and letting thinly veiled, passive aggressive insults slide over them.
.
.
.
“How much longer must we suffer this before we can go?” Damian grumbles, looking like he’s do anything to get his hands on a blade. Which, considering how many people tried to either pinch his cheeks are say some racist remark about him and his mother, is totally fair. Duke would just punch them, but sometimes a little drama helped get the message across. 
“At least two more hours,” Tim says, not bothering to look up from his phone. From what few glimpses of the screen Duke caught, he’s leading a Titans missions through text and clever hacking. Though it may be more accurate to call is a Young Justice mission since there’s no way any of this was authorized by a Justice League member. 
Also Anita, suited up as Empress, is there. If they aren’t on the news for property destruction and absolutely batshit wild shenanigans, Duke will have to check on Tim to make sure he’s not a pod person sent to infiltrate the family. 
“Think we can sneak out without anyone noticing?” Steph asks, looking at the emergency exit longingly.
Cass shakes her head and points to the door leading to the ballroom. When they look over, Dick makes very deliberate eye contact with them and give them a smile that looks stretched across his face.
Tim winces and pushes Duke. “Oh, something went down. Go take over for him and let Dick rest in here for a bit.”
“Man, why does it have to be me?” he grumbles even as he stands. Dick lets out a heavy breath and gives Duke a grateful smile, patting on the shoulder before shoving him out the door. 
As soon as he’s back into the main hallway, the music and chatter swell, no longer muffled by the thick walls of the photography wing. A few people come and go from the ballroom, no doubt looking for the restroom. 
Or more private places for… other things. Things they definitely shouldn’t be doing in an art museum.
He really can’t wait for this night to be over.
Duke joins the rest of the guests, fake smile on his face, and quickly makes his way to the snack table. He might as well make the most of his time stuck out here. Maybe he could even cause another relationship scandal by implying that Bruce is sleeping with one of partners when in hearing distance of a couple. Maybe even both of them. 
Bruce would go with it. It’s hilarious and he also needs something to make these events bearable.
Sadly, he doesn’t see any good targets as he scans the ballroom. A few people are dancing, while others are talking in small circles, closed off from outsiders. There’s an entire table of old ladies with glasses of wine in front of them; Duke considers hanging around them, since they confess to a lot of crimes after a few glasses. It’s fascinating. 
Also, he does kind of miss hanging out with the one old lady who’s declared herself his high society grandmother and told him stories of how she used to go to bars to find racist people or Klan members during the Jim Crow era, seduce them, then poison them and get their addresses so a few gangs she was friends with would fuck them up.
Granny Kaliasto is the coolest person ever. 
Just as he’s about to finish his last mini rolled crepe, Duke catches sight of one of the few teenagers still in the ballroom. The others, mostly stuck up rich kids no one actually likes, have already left to take over some other part of the museum to gossip until their parents decide it’s time to go home. These two are clearly not part of that crew, what with the girl being very goth and in a poofy, ripped dress, and the boy having already taken his jacket off to keep over his forearm, the top button of his shirt popped open.
They might be cool. He’s hoping they’re cool because he desperately needs some company to keep from dying of boredom while the gala continues on.
Duke walks over to them, going around the side of the ballroom, until he’s close enough to hear them talking.
The boy has his back to Duke, but the girl sees him. She immediately scowls and slaps the boys shoulder, eyes locked on Duke.
“Got another comment about my dress?” she says, voice sharp and acidic.
“Another?” Duke repeats. “I was just bored and wanted to talk to people who were my age. Sorry?”
The boy smacks the girl’s arm, then turns to face Duke. “Sorry about her! Sam is just naturally rude and aggressive. Tonight’s been a bit rough, with this crowd.”
Duke goes to say something, but the words stick in his throat when he sees the boy’s eyes shift from deep blue to an electric green. When he focuses, he can see a faint glow in his chest, the same glow he saw in Phantom.
“Dude? You alright?”
Sam looks him over judgmentally. “I guess it’s nice that I’m not being ogled for once, but don’t do that shit to Danny either.”
“Wait, that’s not what I was doing!” Duke hurries to say, snapped out of his shock. “I just… you look a lot like someone I met recently.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. What was your name? I’m Duke, by the way.”
He holds out a hand, and the boy shakes it with a small smile. “Danny. I don’t think we’ve met. I mean, I’m only here because Sam wouldn’t come to this gala without me, so her parents flew me in.”
“You from out of town?”
“Sam and I are from Illinois. Her parents are traveling around the east coast right now, and they decided to spend a week in Gotham to talk business.”
“I’d ask how it is, but outsiders tend to really hate Gotham, so…”
Sam barks out a sharp laugh. “Oh please, we can handle Gotham. Our town might not be as big and well known as Gotham, but we got our own shit to deal with there.”
“I do get shot at a lot back home,” Danny adds thoughtfully. “And that’s without the ghosts.”
“Woah, what?”
“Up for a bit of a story?” Danny asks, impish grin on his face. By his side, Sam brings a hand up to cover a manic smile, shoulders already shaking with laughter. 
This is already better than the grandma gang. Duke leans against the wall, getting settled in, and says, “Always, man. Hit me with it.”
The next hour an a half passes quickly with Sam and Danny dramatically narrating some of the things that have happened in their town. Duke listens, absolutely enraptured, and doesn’t even notice the Waynes file into the ballroom again. 
Unfortunately, they bring with them the attention of most of the ballroom, including Bruce and Sam’s parents. 
She cuts the current story about Box Ghost short with a heavy sigh. “Hold up, I need to greet the Waynes properly while my parents are watching.” She steps in front of Duke and Danny, holding out a hand with a pained smile.
Tim takes it first, giving a solid shake, and introductions start. 
Free from the rules of high society, if only for the moment, Duke leans closer to Danny and whispers to him, “Phantom. Wanna get out of here?”
Danny flinches and turns to him looking panicked. “How did you know?”
“I kinda got magic eyes. I see a lot of things normal humans can’t. Don’t worry about it. I still owe you, so you wanna get out of here?”
He watches as Danny glances around the ballroom, then back to him, clearly weighing out his options. Then he nods and says, “Know where to get a good milkshake around here?”
“Sure do.”
“I guess you’re the one rescuing me this time.”
“Not a rescue,” Duke corrects, and casually picks Danny up over his shoulder into a fireman’s carry, “A kidnapping.”
Danny laughs and waves Sam and all the others goodbye as Duke marches out of the ballroom.
“Don’t bother me for the next two hours!” he calls to the Waynes, “I’m going on a date!”
There are shocked gasps and murmurs all through the crowd. But as he spins around to wave at his shocked and easily amused family, he also catches sight of Granny Kaliasto raising her half full wine glass towards him.
She really is the coolest.
He’s definitely telling her all about this at the next event they attend together. It’ll be nice to have a few stories of his own to share.
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nocreativityfornames · 10 months
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Lucifer: *coming back from the hair salon, having dyed the white tips of his hair black again*
MC: *gasps dramatically* WHO ARE YOU????
Lucifer: The same demon you saw leave the house this morning. Stop being so dramatic.
MC: *pulls out a cross* Begone, strange demon!
Lucifer: *unfazed* MC, there's literally no difference apart from my hair being completely black now.
MC: Exactly! It's ruined! Now you look younger and boring! Your beautiful hair... it's ruined...! 🤧
Lucifer: ...
*internally* I don't think I'm ever dying my hair again.
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5mary5 · 2 months
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I have this little headcanon cause i was reading the comic of obey me and we as mc have been given the neutral name zephyr in the very early chapters since we are a sheep and all and they want to make it inclusive since the name itself is gender neutral but I was thinking that let's say one day the curse is solved and sheep!mc gets their body back but the characters continue calling mc zephyr, what if one day someone (probably a side or secondary character) brings up the fact that "hey you know what? Your face doesn't really scream zephyr" and mc is like "yeah that's because that is not my actual given name, my actual name is ________" and the characters are like "😱😱😱" I mean they did know that this wasn't their real name since they gave it to them cause they can't just call them human and all but it's still shocking to hear it coming out of their own mouth, they would also probably coo when mc tells them their birth name because it means they learn more about their favorite person, well I mean they would coo at everything mc does regardless so-
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noecoded · 2 years
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Tumblr media
cowboy asmo but hes an infamous bandit coming to rob ur small towns bank and its the 1800s
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theambitiouswoman · 2 months
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💗 A Healthy Relationship Should:
Boost your confidence
Encourage you to achieve your goals
Elevate your happiness
Bring you peace
Provide stability & security
Cultivate experiences
Nurture emotional and physical intimacy
Inspire you to take care of yourself
Enhance your life
💗 A Healthy Relationship Should Not:
Undermine your self esteem
Hinder your independence
Limit your growth
Create stress
Promote jealousy
Neglect your needs
Isolate you
Manipulate or guilt you
Be overly dependent
Ignore boundaries
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sk-lumen · 8 months
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If a guy chases you, he has an agenda. He’s not emotionally invested. Once he gets what he wants or you stop running, he will disappear. Don’t give in to these men.
If a guy pursues you, he is emotionally invested. This is the kind of man that if you run, he'll stop pursuing you. If you walk towards him, he comes towards you too. If you set boundaries, he respects then, because he genuinely cares about your wellbeing.
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femmefatalevibe · 9 months
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Femme Fatale Guide: Types of Relationships To Help You Thrive In Life
Table of Contents:
Healthy Relationship With Yourself
Peer-To-Peer Relationship
Mentorship Relationship
Goal-Oriented/Accountability-Focused Relationship
Emotionally-Intimate Relationship
Physical/Sexually-Intimate Relationship
Acquaintance Relationships
Second-Degree Relationships
Types of Relationships:
Healthy Relationship With Yourself: Internalize and act with the knowledge that you're worthy of love, care, and nourishment, and have unconditional permission to work towards your goals & dream life. Eat healthfully, drink plenty of water, remain well-rested, move your body daily, maintain proper hygiene/a clean home, invest in your appearance to feel your best, live as a life-long learner, establish healthy habits/routines, get your finances in order, establish and maintain boundaries, make positive self-talk a priority.
Peer-To-Peer Relationship: Aka friendships, which are intended to offer mutual support and joy in life. These friendships thrive on having similar values and interests, which makes these individuals your greatest cheerleaders, advice givers/receivers, and partners in crime to have fun or offer platonic love/emotional support during traditional or difficult seasons in your life. Peer-to-peer relationships should add mutual excitement, encouragement, and emotional nourishment, and provide a soundboard for confidential information exchange, ears to listen without unnecessary or superficial judgment, and solicited advice from someone who has your best interest in mind.
Mentorship Relationship: This could be a boss, teacher, professor, aunt, uncle, or another trusted adult(s) who can guide you based on their more extensive life experience/wisdom. You can have one or several mentors at any life stage and for different purposes. These people should be trustworthy (keep your information confidential unless you state otherwise) and express their advice through the lens of your best interest rather than their own personal desires or biases (at least those left unchecked). Ensure you feel safe around these people, and their presence in your life is a mutually-nourishing relationship that allows you to grow personally, professionally, and relationally.
Goal-Oriented/Accountability-Focused Relationship: A coach, mentorship, or friendship based on the achievement of a particular goal or practice. This type of relationship can manifest as an accountability partner or support group. A therapist can also fulfill this role in your life (but like, a coach, this relationship is a one-way street to offer you emotional support/tools & resources). Some reasons for an accountability-oriented relationship include helping you achieve a certain health/fitness goal, establish better routines, advance in your career, let go of unhealthy habits, patterns, or addictions, better manage your finances, or help you get your other relationships (family, partner, friends, self-talk, boss, co-workers, etc.) in order.
Emotionally-Intimate Relationship: Someone with whom you feel an unwavering emotional closeness and connection. This person can be a partner you're involved with sexually/physically intimate with or not. Asexuality exists, of course. And emotional intimacy can definitely exist in close platonic relationships (like your best friendships) without any romantic or sexual feelings. These relationships are important because they allow you to let your emotional walls down and be your vulnerable, authentic self.
Physical/Sexually-Intimate Relationship: This relationship could be with a romantic partner, FWB, with multiple partners, purely with yourself, or somewhere in between. If you have sexual needs, it's important to find pleasurable ways to satisfy these desires in a way that makes you feel most fulfilled and respected. Let go of any shame you experience when exploring this side of yourself. Experiment and learn what you like/dislike/fantasize about. Use this information to elevate your practice and communication with any partner(s) for a heightened, more enjoyable, and potentially closer emotionally-bonding experience.
Hobby/Interest-Centric Relationship: These relationships can extend from co-workers to your friends in a certain class/the one friend you go on weekly walks with, follow a particular TV show with, exchange beauty tips with, "going out" friends, etc. While these connections aren't vulnerable to the degree of a close friendship/relationship, it is important to have some relationships that are purely based on fun, light-hearted conversations, and mutual hobbies/interests/lifestyles. Having someone to share these mutual experiences with helps you feel more connected to your environment/communities, not feel isolated/lonely when your friends, family, or intimate partner has different hobbies, career aspirations, or daily routines/lifestyle compared to you, and provides a mutual soundboard on issues, insights, and exciting moments in this particular area of your life.
Acquaintance Relationships: Everyone needs those friends, co-workers, or classmates they can just chat with when at a party, a group meeting, dinner, a special occasion, to grab a quick lunch or coffee, etc. These people are fun to be around and allow you to indulge in light, easy conversations to offer temporary social support/fulfillment. These relationships also expand your network for professional opportunities, making new friends, finding dates/a potential partner, interest groups/new hobbies, referral services/classes/spaces, and other contacts that can enrich your life.
Second-Degree Relationships: These are friend-of-a-friend type connections who can be/become your future business partners, romantic/sexual partners, co-workers, investors, hairdressers, realtors, stylists, finance managers, etc. Be ready to reciprocate these offers and be this person in others' lives, too. As your network gets broader and more dynamic, better chances and potential there is to connect with the right people to help you achieve your goals, desires, and overall life satisfaction. Success and efficiency rarely – if ever – exist in isolation.
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kingess · 2 years
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How to love bomb a male
Tangible steps to manipulate men by love bombing them
Love bombing a male is nowhere near as simple as it is a girl, as women often desire an established partnership and oftentimes a family from way earlier ages than men. Men don't come with social expiration dates nor have societal pressure for love, so love bombing them requires deep drilling into their unhealed desires and actual passions. Do understand that mens first and primary goal with you will always be sex. That's the first thing in their mind even if they do want something more as well. Don't let this discourage you to manipulate them past it & override it.
Listen to his life goals and derive knowledge about what need he's trying to fill with that goal or what wound he's trying to patch.
Your job is to be a dopamine rush, learn those things that make him light up with positive emotions and talk about them in different forms.
Make him visualize those things that light him up by telling stories of what you two could do. Does he want to build a house? Talk about tasks you both could do. Does he want to travel Europe? Make up specific imageries of places you two could go to or even talk about yourself as an individual in this fantasy he's just sneakily placed into. Once you plant these images they're like short films he watched and affect him accordingly. Those imageries will activate in his brain when he faces triggers of his dreams & you're right on his mind.
Make him feel special by remembering his favorites and giving him compliments based on his insecurities. If he's been made feel stupid, compliment his intellect, if he feels less accomplished than others make sure to make him feel extraordinarily talented and adept. This will make him feel like you see and know him like no one else does, "the real him", even though it's just his delusional ego stroked through his coping mechanisms.
Try to be genuine with compliments. Identify qualities that are important to him & use them. And never forget to discard him and take it all away from him just when he's started to trust your love.
And hey, Happy hunting babes
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dictee · 1 year
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people being like ohh louis is obfuscating when he says “i was being hunted” when he was actually being courted. no he WAS being hunted. theyre synonymous lestat’s courtship is predatory. what louis is obscuring is just that he enjoyed being hunted. bc he’s a little freak. and a libra.
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hypergamiss · 1 year
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People are shaming this young man on social media for giving his gf a black card. This is why men who have it like that barely have social media or bother to post about their chivalry. It’s the principal behind a man taking care of a woman so that she is less stressed and more present for the relationship. Real men help their women help them. Whether she goes on shopping sprees or just purchases her essentials is nobody’s business but theirs. He can clearly afford her spending and they’re obviously mature enough to talk about his bandwidth.
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cosmicstarlatte · 1 year
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Lucifer: I'll just have a glass of wine, thank you
Waitress: This is a diner...and it's 9am
[They both glance at the table with the brothers fighting and throwing stuff around, even MC gets tossed in the air]
Waitress: I'm sorry I'll go find that for you sir
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