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#tired

For those who sink and those who swim—who do you think you’re fighting for? Who are you killing for and bleeding for and wringing out your sorry soul for? Why do you think it matters if you sink or swim? All bodies float when they’re dead. Don’t waste your time. Get to shore. The sand will embrace you in a way these cold waters never will.

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I don’t remember ever feeling fine. I don’t think I’ve ever been happy. All I remember is this.

Crying all night, faking a smile all day, always feeling the need to hurt myself, always regretting everything I do…

I want all of this to end… I’m tired…

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I was tagged by @one-way-ride​ (ages ago, on my old account :/) and also @devil-horned-witch​ should do it 

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APPEARANCE: I’m over 5’5” // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS: I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIPS: I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

AESTHETICS: I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

MISCELLANEOUS: I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed //  I am a redhead // I own at least three dogs

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I remember going out with my ex and we were out to eat with his daughter at Friday’s because that (was) my favorite place to eat and we had a black female waitress but when my ex was ordering he “”accidentally””..called her “mama” and I sat there completely silent for the rest of the night because part of me actually died inside at that very moment. And I didn’t tell him what was wrong because he already knew what he did so he asked his daughter what he did wrong she heard it too (just to have confirmation so I knew I wasn’t just hearing things) I…will never ever ever be able to get over that. Never. Never ever. I hope with everything IN MY BEING that one day. ONE DAY hopefully in this lifetime I will be able to you out with someone who wants to take me out to eat because they actually want me eating and just have them not ever do something like that because they actually think that I’m good enough for them to not do something like that to me.

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I’m tired. Being an essential employee sounded fine. I work in the front office of a small printing company. We produce a lot of printed products from food companies… we have to be here. The stress is just causing me physical pain. My neck, shoulders, back are all killing me. And I have to school my kids when I get home from work.


Seriously stay home if you can. Don’t go to the grocery store unless you have to, and make sure you are getting enough to last a while.


If you can work from home, consider yourself lucky. I wish I could too. I really feel for the medical professionals, grocery store employees, truck drivers, gas station employees. All those that don’t have a choice but to interact with many people daily.

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