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ladyddanger · 2 years

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Rivals before hoes: a tnt gets married crack fic.

(This is just a joke not my serious take on the characters thank u :)

Also this is crack crack. Like I wrote this on 3 hours of sleep crack. Tw for slut shaming, lots of cursing, drunkenness, suggestive themes, making out and light c!dnf. Also! This party is adults only so none of the teenagers like c!tommy are here. Enjoy

The dinner party for the grand opening of the casino was going great until Wilbur started flirting with Quackity. “Oh my gods we’re not dating.” Wilbur said sitting on Quackity’s lap while he fed him grapes. “We’re just rivals why dose this society have to sexualize everything?” Quackity leaned over rubbing his neck. “Literally I’m so sick of it.” Wilbur kissed his cheeks. “You’re so cute.”

Sapnap stood up having enough. “Hey!” He shouted loudly. “Stay away from my fiancé you ugly zombified bitch.”

“Me and your finance had sex last night.” Wilbur shouted back . The crowd gasped. Quackity dropped to the ground and started faking a heart attack just like Sam had taught him in avoiding responsibility 101.

“I think you mean your fiancé and I.” Technoblade corrected quietly. Wilbur glared at him. “You’re literally an anarchist shut up.” Niki who was an instigator smirked. “Yeah Techno.” The Piglin stared at her. “You’re also an anarchist.” Ignoring him she and Wilbur gave each other a high five. Phil took a sip of his wine and reached for Wilbur’s glass as well. Quackity had stoped fake choking and hurried towards the mic on the large stage in the front of the room. The moment he was out of ear shot Sam sidled over to Sapnap with a nosey look on his face. “Now this just might be me.” He said quietly. “But I would not let someone talk about my fiancé like that.” (Sam was also an instigator)

Sapnap nodded. “You’re so right Sam, I think the only reasonable response is go up there and beat the shit out of Wilbur. I’m sure Quackity will appreciate that violence and it won’t bring up any traumatic memories.” Sam nodded. “Go for it Sapnap!” He cheered. Sapnap raised his hands like a football player and charged for Wilbur. “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” Niki cheered, she and Phil had found somewhere else to be a safe distance away where they could still see the drama. (One table away) Technoblade started eating their cake looking unbothered.

“Hey Wilbur come down and fight like a real man!” Sapnap yelled. Wilbur was hiding on top of the table just out of Sapnap’s reach. “I’m perfectly fine being a real man up here.” He yelled back. Quackity had made it to the mic. “Good evening.” He slurred more then a bit drunk. “I just wanted to make it clear that Wilbur and I are getting married. Tonight!”

Sapnap turned. “What?” Wilbur looked just as shocked. “What?” Quackity swayed grabbing the mic. “This is definitely a real thing and not something I just thought of because the loves of my life are happy without me and it’s not fair.” He broke off sobbing for a good minute while everyone stood awkwardly and then continued like nothing had happened. “Wilbur and I are going to get married. And then we’re going to go to my room get on our knees and-.”

Sam rushed forwards and grabbed the mic away. “ -Pray to the prime gods bless us all. Such religious men you love to see it.” Everyone crossed themselves. Sam beamed. “I am so happy about this and I’m so glad Quackity told me in advance because if not I would be very mad. So I’m glad he told me like the great friends he is!” Quackity was sitting down on stage having exhausted himself. “I’m such a good friend.” He agreed.

Techno leaned over to Phil. “I’m an empath so I knew this was gonna happen. There was a lot of dark feminine energy from Quackity and Wilbur. Also i caught them making out. It was really gross. Wilbur gave me fifty bucks not to tell anyone so I bought ice cream for Niki and told her the whole thing.”

Wilbur flushed. “Please shut up.” Sapnap gasped. “You’re a slut Wilbur Soot!” Wilbur glared. “So what? At least I get bitches!” Sapnap lunged on top of the table and started beating him up. “Nooo.” Quackity wailed form the floor. “Two hot men are fighting over me. I hate my life.” Techno stood up and dragged Sapnap off Wilbur like a feral cat. “Please don’t kill my friend’s child or I will be forced to murder you and this is a new cape I don’t want to get blood on. You know how it is.” Sapnap hissed at him. Techno hissed back. Sam walked back to mic ready to do his job and cause more issues now that the drama was over. “Quackity you’re too drunk to get married.” He said into it. Quackity shrugged. “Change the law I’m the gods damned leader of this place.”

“Well you need a blessing-.”

“PHIL!” I want your blessing to marry Wilbur.” Phil glared. “No.” Quackity sighed and grabbed something from his inventory, it was a bell. “WHAT ABOUT NOW?” Techno stoped hissing at Sapnap and dropped him on the ground. “My clout Phil.” The older man looked pained. “But- but my son.”

“What’s more in important to you?

“My clout or your son?”

Phil sighed. “Your clout always.” Everyone clapped. Sam brushed a tear away. “What a sweet moment.” Dream looked confused. “Am I the only one who thinks this is messed up?”

George glared. “You literally weren’t invited Dream. You just showed up in that dumb dress and started throwing yourself at Punz like a whore.” Punz who had been stealing the fried shrimp looked confused. Sam gasped. “Damnnnn. You know if that was me-.” Wilbur and Quackity somehow got up on stage. Quackity turned to Sam. “MARRY US.” He ordered. Sam hurried over. Phil was crying and holding the bell. It was unclear if he was crying over the bell or his sons wedding. Techno was taking pictures of the wedding but they where all selfies.

“Ok.” Sam said. “Are you both in a sound state of mind?” Quackity swayed. “No I’m fucking wasted. I gotta be honest with you.”

“I think I have a concussion. “ Wilbur said sadly. Sam patted his back. “Take it like a man, king. You’re doing great buddy. Clearly you two are mentally stable and sane so Quackity do you take Wilbur to be your one and only side bitch?” Quackity sniffed. “Yes.”

“And Wilbur do you-.” Wilbur cut him off. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes, I do because in the end the love you take is equal to love you make and you are my love.” Sam sniffed. “So sweet.” Dream huffed. “He literally googled sexy marriage quotes. I can see his phone in his hands.” Sam spoke loudly over him. “You can now kiss the husband.” Quackity and Wilbur kissed dramatically.

“I HAVE AN OBJECTION.” The crowd gasped. (Everyone was an instigator that this point) Sam blinked. “Well their already married but sure go ahead. I need a new thing to have nightmares about anyway.”

Sapnap stood up. “WILBUR SOOT IS A SLUT. everyone gasped. “I KNOW FOR A FACT HE AND DREAM WEANT ON A DATE TO PIZZA HUT AND WILBUR AND I DID IT IN THE HOLY LANDS. He paused for dramatic effect. TWICE.” Sam gasped. Phil fainted. Dream did the Debby Ryan. Wilbur flushed. “You said that was between us and lady prime you asshole!” Quackity whirled on Dream. “You ruined my life. I hate you so much.” Dream stared at him as Quackity sobbed. “You horrible man. Do you have any idea what you put me through?”

Wilbur turned to the scared man . “Babe I can explain.” (It was unclear which scared man he was talking to) Quackity noticing everyone was staring cried harder. “I WANT A DIVORCE.” He sobbed running off stage and into Eret’s arms. “This is so upsetting I need a big strong king to carry me away.” When Eret didn’t move Quackity nudged her. “That’s you! Hurry you’re ruining my dramatic exit.” Eret nodded. “Of course.” Sweeping their cape dramatically they headed out of the doors with Quackity in their arms. Wilbur sniffed. “The love of my life gone.”

Wilbur sank to the floor and pulled out a cigarette. Sapnap looked down at him. “Gods above you’re pathetic. Wanna make out?” Wilbur looked up at him. “You’re terrible for me and much like my father barely acknowledge my existence. Of course I wanna make out with you.” They started making out. Dream groaned. “Can we talk about Wilbur’s daddy issues please?” George booed him. “Literally nobody here likes you Dream.” Dream huffed. “If you’re that mad about Punz we’re not even dating their just my evil best friend. He enables me.” Punz grinned offering a hand to George. “It’s a full time job trust me. Also I’m trying to seduce that guys ex.” He pointed at Sam. “Wait wha-.”

George beamed cutting Sam off. “Really Dreamy?” Dream grinned. “I’m all yours baby.” And with dnf being cannon peace was restored to sever.

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stealthystealthy · 1 year

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I thought more about my ballet school au, so:

Quackity is a professional ballet student, and it was pain to get into the academy and it is pain to stay at the top of his class, but Quackity knows a once in a lifetime opportunity when he sees one, so he puts everything into this, he stays long past his lessons practicing, practicing, practicing. He wants so bad to be strong and beautiful and unbreakable.

Wilbur flew out of his third band and is now paying his rent with playing the piano at ballet schools (he loves playing the piano, though some of the music he has to play is mind numbing) and he is allowed to stay after the official lessons and play the piano for himself (to practice of course, but he plays more jazz when he is alone). And when Quackity is going home way after dark he hears someone play the piano in one of the rooms and follows the sound of it only to find that pianist from one of his classes. And honestly Quackity had always thought that pianist was kinda cute (in the way you fine the guy with a long coat, calloused bony piano fingers and dark bags under his eyes cute), so he asks him for a smoke.

it’s winter (because I always have to assign my AUs to season for the vibes and because Wilbur can wear fingerless woolen gloves and Quackity wears many layers of sweaters and those wrist and leg warmers) and they smoke together in the freezing night and then go home alone.

#/rp ofc #was just too lazy to put the c!s #I have no plot for this just ✨setting✨#c!tntduo #c!wilbur #c!quackity #dreamsmp shipping #dsmp au

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lav-endermoon · 2 years

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i'm just now seeing schlatt's reaction to the tntduo question

no hate to him but holy shit i'm gonna throw up 👍

#no hate to schlatt ofc i'm just laughing my ass off #and choking on my tears 👍#this wasn't supposed to reach you big guy i'm so sorry #tntduo #my post

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wiiwarechronicles · 3 months

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hey genuine question would you be willing to elaborate on how ranboos storyline is bad for other storylines? i dont. like it that much 😭 but i dont per se see that element so im curious. no pressure ofc!

I meant more in terms of fan reaction than what’s in the actual meat of the story itself. At some point it was just expected that ranboo was somehow important and involved in every single facet of the server and it made people shut down further discussion on things like the time traveler theory maybe being someone else. When the red banquet happened the actual characters involved with the plot were side lined in favor of the idea that cranboo had something to do with it all. And in las Nevadas people were so swept up in the fucking burger truck plotline that the focus shifted entirely to the servers most popular characters instead of the recruits supposed to get their spotlight in this plotline. Even now most las Nevadas fan art and discussion you see that isn’t entirely tntduo based is bench trio centric. Ranboo’s completely surface level involvement in so much of the server restricted fanwork to such an extreme it wasn’t any fun to keep up with anymore if you knew he was going to be involved. It was frustrating I felt like the server and its fanbase were all bending to the will of someone popular who didn’t know what they were doing and it just made everything rot into the same monotonous slurry

#anon #maidsmop

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ryemackerel · 10 months

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in my funny headcanon au (it still doesnt have a name RIP…), i find it so sweet that the youngsters from benchtrio look up to tntduo as inspirational figures. of course since benchtrio are still teens, tntduo are already well into their adult years, like early/mid 30s.

tubbo, tommy, and ranboo are all naive ol folks. all of them being younger than 18, none of them know any better. and ofc being a bunch of dumb kids, usually they love making mistakes, LOTS of them. however, their past traumatic experiences put all of them in a position where they can’t properly enjoy their teenagehood, stripped of their innocence really.

ranboo struggling with recollecting his past and facing the heartwrenching possibility of being an escaped lab experiment, even though for years theyve always believed they had a true family back at his homeland. however, they struggle with knowing that they never did.

tubbo shielding himself off from his loved ones, avoiding intimacy and masking his emotions as much as possible, heavy memories stemming from his rough childhood living with schlatt.

tommy still recovering from the grief of losing his older brother, overwhelmed with the thought of his family splitting apart again, and recovering from his own death from years back.

although their lives have improved so much more now, their pasts still dwell in the background. as teens, these three always strive to seek others that can truly understand them, find some common ground and relatability with others that have dealt with issues just as difficult as theirs. i feel like that’s why benchtrio bonds so closely with tntduo and attaches to wilbur and quackity so much.

being old as they are now, wilbur and quackity have gone through so much. wilbur with post-revival, quackity with openness, both with rough pasts. in a way, i feel like all of them got along because of these shared experiences.

tommy has always stuck with wilbur since the day tommy was born, basically siblings of the same blood that you can never break apart. wilbur was the very person that raised tommy until they found phil. she helped tommy through his worst times as a kid, and after revival it was tommy that helped wilbur out of the mess he was in.

both tubbo and quackity dealt with how schlatt treated them. tubbo almost looks up to quackity as a father because of how much he understands him.

ranboo doesnt look up to a specific person in particular, but has always wanted a place to fit in. after meeting the sbi, tubbo, and quackity, thats where he started feeling like he truly belonged.

i have no specific name for this au, but i love to think about the connections all of the characters have with each other, and thats been the main subject of the au. like one huge hub of folks that have found ways to get along, almost slice of life-ish, where although everyone still has their own issues, theyre all trying their best to enjoy their lives and recover. healing au? revival? i really dont know if i can find names that arent already taken, might need some help BWHAGAH! thank you lots for reading! :)

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmp au #benchtrio #tntduo #ryemackerel dsmp hcs #ryemackerel dsmp healing au

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ctntduoarchive · 2 years

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just some ramblings lol

#some of these are about tntduo ofc #dont steal pls i wanna use some of these #i'll decide which ones soon enough #shit post #also i used 'your' instead of 'you're' one time ignore that

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titsoutfortntduo · 3 months

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#dsmp

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bonesandthebees · 3 months

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BEE IM GOING INSANE THATS SO COOL WHATHEUFKCOGUHOGUHGOGHOUGHOGUHGOASDFJIASLDKF !!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING MAN :(((

genuinely makes my day to hear about aus even if it will never be written!! like this is GENUINELY SO COOL??? IM SOOO GIDDY RN EUEUEUEEEUUEU

fanning my face and flapping my hands rn THIS IS SOOOO !!!!!!!!! i love all of the character backstories sm <33 going insane over sandduo going insane over crimeboys goingg insane OVER NIKI AND JACKKK OGOGHOGOHJK and ofc. Tntduo my loves. that's such a smart idea holyshittttt tntduo as detective partners WOULD LITERALLYYYYY SLAP SO BAD THEY R BOTH SO SMART AND WELL SPOKEN AND THE TENSION WOULD BE MWAH CHEFS KISS

also ooohhh polar night phenomenon is so cool and interesting :000 that just reminds me of this one video i just watched on antarctica. learned a lot of disturbing shit about antarctica LMAO including polar madness

i feel the struggle so bad, wishing u luck either way bee o777 and ty for sharing !!!!!!! <333

aaaa thank you icy!!! I'm glad you like hearing about my au ideas even if I never get around to writing them. I do love brainstorming and rambling about things like these

god yeah tntduo as detective partners would go so hard. they bounce off of each other so well and being forced to work together and combine their intellect even if they're arguing the whole time just makes so much sense.

polar night is so interesting!! of course it's also accompanied by the midnight sun phenomenon but I don't find that as interesting as polar night lol. I would love to be able to visit Svalbard at one point during the polar night, especially to see the northern lights

idk what polar madness is but I don't think I wanna know

#ask #icyfox17 #au ramblings

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comfymoth · 11 months

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tntduo qpr thoughts except you don't keep it short ? 👀 if you have the time ofc !

ahdkdj okay so these are pretty scattered and rambly so they're going under the cut, but—

a big part of the reason it takes wilbur so long to figure out his aromanticism is because of how it interacts with his mood swings. because he expects himself to feel romantic attraction, because he wants to feel it, he starts off mistaking a lot of his more intense manic feelings for attraction, and whenever it fades he assumes that it’s some sort of failure on his part or proof that he’s bad at relationships. in all of his angst he’s convinced himself that he can’t feel love properly, and it’s not until he starts working on his mental health that he realizes he does feel love, just a different kind. and that’s okay. he doesn’t have to spend his life chasing the intensity he thought he should have been feeling.

and of course for quackity so much of this is tied up in his attachment issues and his need for that same intensity. it’s difficult for him to admit that, because he doesn’t want to admit he has any kind of problem and especially not one this intimate, but eventually he has to because the alternative is self-destructive. it’s hard for him initially to settle into anything that doesn’t feel all-consuming all the time, but he gets there, with time. first with his fiances, and then with wilbur.

wilbur is— hesitant? initially? to mention the idea of a qpr mainly because of quackity’s fiances. mostly because he doesn’t want to overstep, of course, but also partially because he doesn’t think quackity would want something like that when he has romantic partners. wilbur’s been married before, so he thinks he knows what married people want, and that doesn’t include a platonic extra. of course, he turns out to be very wrong though, because quackity does want that. he’s the first one to bring it up. maybe not in the most sensible way, it’s when they’re both overtired and quackity makes a joke about ‘kissing your friends goodnight,’ but it opens the door at least. and in the morning they have a real talk about it.

and i think they are pretty physically affectionate with each other, in a casual sort of way. sure, it depends on the day— they both have their own issues around touch, and some days it’s just not something that can happen, but even then they like to stay close. mostly, though, they’re just good emotional supports for each other. they have an understanding of each other that no one else really does, and there’s something really safe in that. they both spent a lot of time convincing themselves they were something scary and ugly and dangerous, and it’s good to have someone now who gets it, and who can talk openly and honestly about it and just laugh about it in the end.

#dream smp #tnt duo #wilbur soot #quackity

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