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#to a young person who was just trying to be responsible and kind and positive to a large and demanding following
raineydays411 · 8 months
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My Fathers' Daughter pt 13
Hello everyone! Can I just say thank you to everyone for the love and support! Thank you everyone for sticking by me while I took a break. Thank you everyone for the kind messages and ideas. I'm the type of person that needs positive reassurance so really, it's you guys that are the reason I returned to writing.
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For the first time in months you felt at peace.
Ironically, it was when you were shoved in a stinky backseat of a dirty taxi. But you were in a stinky taxi with people you truly love.
And Dopinder.
But even he's better than being in that house right now. Anything truly is.
"Hey" A soft voice breaks your thoughts, you turn from where you're looking out the window.
Peter was gazing at you with concern in his eyes. He had his own reservations about coming to get you, that's why Wade had decided to kidnap him. But seeing you, practically throw yourself into him and cry?! He didn't need any more convincing than that.
One thing Y/n Stark does not do is let people see her cry.
"Are you okay?" He asks, knowing that you're not but he knows that you won't tell him if he doesn't ask.
You take a look into his eyes, seeing concern. Then from the corner of your eye you see Wade turn his head an inch, trying to subtly listen in without giving away the fact that he cares about you.
"I'm.." You pause, feeling a knot in your throat, " I'm just really craving a burger."
"What the dick?!" Wade screams from the front, startling all of you in the car, and causing Dopinder to swerve, " We came here for emotional support goddamn it, let us support your emotions!!"
You chuckle at the outburst, mood momentarily lifting, " You can support me by getting me something to eat outside this taxi. It reeks back here...no offense Dopi"
"Non taken Ms. Stark, I am well aware of the unpleasant scents in the back."
Dopinder makes a stop at what looks like a local burger joint in the city , allowing you and Peter to take a breath of fresh air.
Or at least as fresh as Gotham city air could be.
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Back at the Manor, Christine and Bruce are having a long overdue conversation about you and her relationship.
" I just don't understand where everything went so wrong" Christine cried, face held in her hands," I just don't"
"Perhaps when you stopped visiting her when we adopted Dick" Bruce said in a semi sarcastic semi serious voice.
Christine shot a glare to her husband, " I'm glad you find the destruction of my relationship with my daughter funny Bruce, I really do."
Bruce sighs from where he's standing, " I don't find it amusing one bit, but Christine you have to admit this situation is your fault."
"I know it is! Believe me I know" Christine shouts, " These last few months, all I've been reminded is that it's my fault!"
"But where is your accountability?" Bruce asks, " I don't hold what you did against you because it's not my place. The kids don't because quite frankly, this hasn't affected them except for Cassie who thinks you're replacing her, and Damian, who sees you sad and believes Y/n is the sole cause of it."
Christine sighs, the few months you have been in the home, she has noticed Cassie's jealousy towards you and the resentment for the situation. She's done her best to reassure her that she has enough love for the two of you girls, but she still insisted on being as far away from you as possible. Damian...Damian is young and perceptive but difficult so she isn't so worried about him.
"If Y/n just spent time with them--"
"It isn't her responsibility to reassure your children that she isn't taking you away from them. Hell Christine, it isn't her responsibility to make anything easier for you." Bruce says impatiently, " I have been holding my tongue because you're my wife above anything and I am on your side. But being a husband and on your side means that I have a responsibility to tell you when you are wrong."
"Then tell me Bruce, tell me what I'm doing wrong. Please beacause every move I make, I just mess things up." Christine cries, genuienly asking for her husbands help
Bruce looks Christine in the eye, " Well first, you have to stop forcing your motherhood on that poor girl"
He holds a hand up before Christine can say anything, " I know that biologically you are her mother, but you know as well as I do that biological relation has no meaning."
Christine nods, allowing Bruce to continue
"The child you knew is not the young lady you want to get to know." Bruce says sternly, " She has life experiences that you were not a part of, and most of all she's not looking for a mother, Christine she has one. It's just not you."
Christine bursts into tears, the weight of that statement hitting her heart. Bruce gathers her in his arms.
"You need to get to know Y/n not as the child you left behind but as Y/n. That's what all of us need to do."
Christine weeps silently in her husbands chest, truly absorbing his words.
She knows he's right. He usually is.
But it hurts her. She truly has to acknowledge the one thing she has ever been ashamed about. The one thing that she has been repressing and repressing all these years.
That she abandoned you.
She abandoned you. She abandoned you when you were six and she didn't show up to the mothers day dance.
She abandoned you when you were eight and she promise dthat she would take you to get your ears pierced and she didn't show up because of a phone call.
And she abandoned you when you were nine, and she adopted Dick.
"What I don't think I understand is why?" Bruce asked quietly.
All these years, she said it was because she was needed more at the manor rather than in New York. But why did she really?
"Why?" Christine repeats quietly, " I..."
Why did she? What on earth possessed her to do the one thing she promised she'd never do the day you were born.
"I don't know." She says, " I.. spent years, hiding this huge secret from you. Years taking back and forth trips from here to New York, pretending she didn't exist or pretending like you didn't. I just..."
Bruce hums, urging her to continue
" And seeing the disappointment every time I left and didn't take her or disappointment from Tony that I didn't choose them. " She teared up, she hadn't even thought about the pain she put that man through, " Then it was the disappointment from Dick everytime I left. It got too.."
"Too hard." Bruce finished for Christine,
" Yeah," Christine sighed, " I just wanted to stop all the lying and the double lives, but by the time it became too much...it was too deep and I was scared I'd lose it all."
Bruce stayed quiet holding his wife, "I would've hoped that you had enough faith in me to tell me"
Christine scoffed, " Please, do you really believe that at that time you would've forgiven me? Before Damian?"
Bruce sighed, " I guess not."
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As the conversation between Bruce and Christine went on, the kids were having one of their own.
"I don't understand what's so good about her anyway" Cass mumbles, " All she's done since she's been here is cause trouble"
"Yeah like any of us made Ma's life easy since we got here?" Jason spits back defending you, " Dick you didn't even talk to Ma because of your fight with Bruce, I died, Tim didn't even consider her a mother for years, Damian..is damian and hated her for months, plus is a product of Bruce cheating, and you Cass, you almost killed her before you became family."
Everyone stayed silent as Jason basically read them to filth.
"Why?" Damian asks quietly, " Why does everyone like that girl so much?"
"She's just had a hard go of it Damian, just like all of us." Dick said softly, " Think about how you felt when your mother stopped coming around. When you came here and didn't know anyone."
Damian stayed quiet.
"I know you love Mom, I do too" Dick continued, " But the hostility towards Y/n has to end. From all of us."
They stood quiet, letting the words sink in.
"I have been quite pleasant towards her actually" Jason said smugly
"Yeah cause you think with your dick and not your brain" Tim said smartly, only to receive a slap on the back of his head.
"That's my sister you fucking idiot" Jason says angrily.
Dick smiled, glad that at least one person was truly and genuinely on your side in this house, even if it's not him.
" How about we take her out?" Dick says, " Both her and Mom need some space, there's no point in her staying in that room all day and night."
Jason nods," Yeah, that's actually a good idea."
The two oldest sons rise, about to head to you room when Damian speaks up
"You won't find her there."
The boys pause and look at him
"What did you do to her you demon?" Jason says suspiciously
Damian rolls his eyes, " I've done nothing of the sort, but I saw her sneak out and leave in a taxi with an Indian man, a man in a red suit and unfortunate looking face, and a teenager in hello kitty sleeping pants."
Silence.
"Okay, if you're having a stroke please let me know so I can take you to the hospital." Tim said looking concerned.
Damian rolled his eyes again, " She left."
Jason was already barging into your room not even bothering to knock, seeing your room empty and the window open.
"Fuck."
Dick raced in after him seeing the empty room
"Well fuck."
They look at eachother, wondering who was going to tell their mother that you were gone but it was actually Damian that suggested
"Perhaps we should go after her? Mother and Father seemed rather preoccupied at the moment."
Jason looked at Dick and said, " She couldn't have gotten too far."
"Well, it has been a couple hours since she left." Damian adds
"Hours?!" Dick shouts, " Damian why didn't you say anything?"
"I don't like her." Damian rolls his eyes.
"Where's Y/n?" a voice asks
All heads turned to the doorway, seeing their father standing there.
"Um... about that."
"Find her, and you all better hope she's okay."
Everyone scrambled, either to put their suits on or to just make it out of the house.
He said that with his Batman voice.
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Back with you and the red team, as Wade took to calling you all, you all were eating burgers in the parking lot of the now closed burger joint.
" So are you going to tell us what happend or what?" Wade ask with food falling from his stuffed mouth.
You and Peter look on with disgust.
"What?" Wade asks, " Go on and tell us about your mommy issues."
You roll your eyes and look away, missing the look Peter gives to Wade for being to crass.
You get lost in thought, the argument still fresh on your mind.
It made you so angry.
Why? Why did she hide those emails?
The one thing you wanted most in this whole situation was to go home. You missed your father, your mother, the team. Your family.
Instead, she made you believe that your father just forgot about you and your family didn't miss you.
While you knew logically that was impossible, you still stood up late at night because of the doubts creeping in. You cried, longing to hear your father croon rock music while he was tinkering with something, or the soft voice of your mother as she handled some business. You missed the smell of the training room and the sound of Steve teasing whoever he chose to tourture train that day. You missed FRIDAY. The tech. Your life.
"What happened in there" Peter asked softly.
You maintain eye contact with him for about a second before looking away, feeling ashamed with your emotional state.
"I couldn't take it anymore" You said softly, "These people...they weren't... they weren't mean to me or anything but I didn't belong there."
You take a pause then continue, " It's like... I had no purpose there. You know? At home, I help dad with whatever he needs, I helped mom with the business, hell I could just take a step outside. But here? I'm either in my room or being snuck out by Jason for a few hours. I can't go into a room without killing the happy family vibe they have going on. I'm just..."
You choke up, the knot in your throat growing, "I'm just a reminder of the past. Of the life she didn't want."
Peter's eyes soften even more, he reached out a comforting hand.
"I have to be there, while she and her family are happy then I walk in and it's like I'm either a ghost or a pest." You cry tears falling from your eye, " I feel so unwanted. I've never felt this way in my life."
"Didn't your mom abandon you?" Wade asks, getting an elbow to the side by Dopinder.
That comment causes you to cry more, but before Peter can make a move Wade actually pulls you in a hug.
"Alright Alright" Wade says, " Look kid, obviously you're happy there, so how about we go find those asshole that are looking for you and take them out ourselves?"
You sniff and look up at him, " What?"
"Yeah. That's the whole reason you're here. So lets kill those motherfucker and you can go home and forget this shit hole of a city. Seriously it's disgusting here."
You chuckle wetly, " It is gross here. I thought New york was bad"
The four of you laugh, the mood finally lifting.
But good moments never last forever.
Peter's head jerks up, face shifting from amusement to concern
"Guys there's something wro-" Peter gets cut off.
"How about we make it easier for you, now you don't have to look for us." A voice says, you aren't able to see it before you feel Wades body jerk and suddenly there's a pain in your arm.
You look down and see a dart, and you're barely able to make out the blue and red dots on the building across the street before darkness consumes you and you hit the ground.
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user00003123 · 9 months
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NOW LIVE: BUILDING A BOND feat. t. fushiguro
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SUMMARY: when your parents get you a job as a psychologist at the prison, you don't expect to take such an interest in one of the inmates.
CONTENT WARNINGS: inmate! toji! x psychologist! fem! reader, smut, mdni, modern prison au, dom/sub dynamics, dirty talk, clit play, fingering, finger sucking, nipple sucking, slight choking, toji is kind of degrading, oral (f. & m. receiving), p in v, cow girl, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), panty stealing, nicknames (Doc, slut, dirty girl, nasty girl, good girl) wc: 4,117
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"I'm sorry—what?"
"Look sweetie, you said it yourself. You went to school so that you could help people, and what's more helpful than being a psychologist for the prison, hm?" your mother sat next to you on the couch one arm around your shoulders and the other holding your hand.
"Your mother is right sweetie, this has been your dream since you were a little girl," your father speaks up from his desk.
"Working at a prison was not my dream," your arms are folded across your chest. "When I got my degree, I was thinking more of a cute office where I talk to children and teens to help them. Not grown men who did who knows what to get themselves in a prison," you slightly yell getting off the couch and standing in front of your father's desk.
"I get it sweetie, but if I didn't think you were the right one for this position, I wouldn't have volunteered you," your father gets up from his desk and walks over to you. He places his hands on both your shoulders, sighing, "You are the smartest, most compassionate young woman I've ever met. I know it's not the job you wanted, but maybe it's the job you needed."
Maybe he was right, I mean these men weren't emotionally stable and it could benefit them to talk to you.
The next day you were dressed in a black pantsuit with black flats, making sure to not have any flashy jewelry on. When arriving you had to go through extensive security, to make sure you didn't have any contraband, or anything harmful that could be used against you.
"You're the new psychologist aren't you?" A tall man with white hair asks you as you're leaving the security office. He was also dressed in all black, but with a vest that had police stitched on it in white.
"What gave it away?" you ask with a raised eyebrow. He tilts his head eyeing your outfit.
"You're cheerful being here," he laughs, hands now on the vest with the many pockets, and you notice the gun on his hip.
"I'm just trying to be hopeful that I can help these men in some way," you say running your hands down your shirt.
"I admire that, hope is not something that people have in here. Maybe you'll change that," you give him a small smile. "I'm Gojo, by the way. I'll be your security guard for the day."
"Just the day?" you follow him down a long hallway.
"Like me already?" you roll your eyes with a light laugh. "I'm messing with ya' sweetheart. Each day every guard has a different place we'll be in the prison. Mine is sadly guarding solitary the next couple days."
You hum in response and continue to follow him until you're in the medical bay. You meet the nurses, desk attendants, and other guards before Gojo takes you to your office. You give him a thanks as you put you're bag down looking around the room.
Empty white walls, a two-person cream-colored sofa, and a white desk with a matching chair. Very bland, but anything else added and it could've been used against you. Sitting at the desk you start to take a look at the files of the patients who would be visiting you. Some have a tragic back story, other don't, and you started to feel a bit overwhelmed. Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you calmed yourself down just as a knock was heard on the door.
"Come in!" Gojo comes in with a long black-haired inmate who has an unidentifiable expression on his face.
"Cuffs on or off?" Gojo questions. You think on it for a second then tell him off. Letting the inmates not have their cuffs on shows you have some type of trust in them and helps build the bond for them to trust you.
"Behave yourself, Geto," Gojo starts to walk out of the office before turning to you again. "Remember, just yell or push the panic button and I'll come right in."
"Thanks," you smile at him before motioning for Geto to have a seat on your couch. He does and the two of you talk, he opens up quite a bit about how he feels about him being in here and why he's even in here in the first place. It's a great start to your day and every patient after Geto is pretty up or down. Either they wanna talk or they give you a hard time, but it's only the first day.
Your last patient comes in while you're fixing all the files on your desk, clearing his throat to let you know of his presence. You're eyes trailed up his body, black uniform pants, black wife-beater, his big beefy arms decorated in black ink, and a cocky little smirk plastered on his face. You look down at your schedule to see his name and you give him a smile then tell Gojo it's okay to take off his cuffs.
"You sure sweetheart, I'm a dangerous man," his eyes are staring right into yours, his smirk never leaving his face. Gojo leaves when you give him a nod and you gesture to the sofa for the new patient to sit down.
"Is that how you see yourself, Toji? Dangerous?" He leans his body back relaxing into the seat with a sigh.
"Of course, I do, Doc. I've hurt people, had blood on my hands. I know I'm dangerous," his eyes are watching you as you write down in your notes, before looking at him again.
"Are you proud of that?" you question tilting your head.
He puts a finger on his chin like he was thinking before letting out a laugh, "I am actually." Standing up from the sofa, he walks over to where you're sitting, leaning over you and the desk, "I did what I had to do to protect the ones I love. I had my reasons."
Before you could even respond, he was walking out the door, "Thanks for the session, Doc."
Re-reading Toji's file, you notice that it says he has a son and a daughter and was married before the incident. Your heart sinks thinking about how his kids must feel not having their father, even more so how Toji must feel not being able to be with his kids. He's right, he has his reasons for doing what he did, even as violent as it was, it was for the people he cared about.
The next few days Toji didn't show back up to the office, and honestly, you were worried about him. That Thursday when Gojo was your security guard again you ask him about Toji.
"He seems angrier than normal, and he hasn't said a word since he left your office on Monday,"  you were looking around the yard, spectating how the inmates engaged with one another or just with themselves. You saw Toji lifting weights in the corner of the yard, he was by himself, no one daring to come up and intrude. "Don't dwell too much, he'll come talk to you when the time is right. Just like the rest of these men."
The next day you go through your appointments, some of your patients opening up more than when you first meet them, making sure you tell each of them that you're proud of the progress they're making. You started to pack up for the weekend when it was time for Toji's appointment, knowing he wasn't coming, until a knock at your door startles you.
"Come in!" Toji walks through the door, head high, and another smirk on his face as Gojo walks in behind him, hands holding Toji's cuffed ones behind his back.
"He asked me to bring him." You smile lightly then gesture for Gojo to take off the cuffs before he leaves your office. Toji sits down on the sofa while you lean on your desk, giving him your full attention. Your eyes wandered on his body, seeing a few red marks and some sweat.
"My eyes are up here, sweetheart," you laugh slightly embarrassed, eyes staring right into his.
"I heard you don't work weekends, so I wanted to come talk to you before you left."
"Of course. What is it you would like to talk about?" you ask hand clasped in your lap.
"I want to apologize for my actions on Monday. I am not the talking type and never really have been, probably why my marriages haven't worked out." He whispered the last part, and you jotted that down in your head. "You were just doing your job and I don't need to make it any harder."
"I appreciate you apologizing Toji but know you didn't have to. I don't understand what's it like to be here, but I know that this environment isn't the best one to make you feel like you want to open up about your feelings," you smile and it warms his heart. "You don't have to come every day if it feels like too much for you. We can start at whatever pace it is you want if you even want to come to talk to me."
"Thanks, Doc, and I'm fine with meeting every day. I'm hoping that talking to you will help me get on parol so I can see my kids." He's being sincere and you admire that.
"As long as you make me believe that you've learned your lesson about being in here, I will get you parol, Toji," you give him a genuine smile and he returns it.
"I want to be a better man, for my kids," and for the next couple weeks, he saw you every day. During the first two weeks, he was still having a hard time being completely honest about his feelings, telling you small details about how he ended up here, or about his childhood. You didn't push him though, you didn't push any of your patients. Building trust with them is about letting them learn to trust you at their own pace, letting them open up at their speed, and as long as you give them the time to open up, your job will be easier.
Around the second month of Toji coming in every day, he felt himself become so intrigued with you. Whenever you weren't around, you were all he could think about, your eyes that drew him in whenever he looked at them too long, your legs that he couldn't stop thinking about wrapping around his waist as he pounded into you, and your pretty full lips that he imagines is his hand when fisting his cock late at night in his cell.
It would be a lie if you said you didn't think about him that way either. How could you not? Always having his big beefy biceps on display when he wore a wife beater. His uniform pants hung low on his hips and as soon as he sat down they were tight and you could see the print of dick against his thigh.
You always sat behind your desk when you met with your patients, so it was no different when it came to Toji, which made it easier to hide the fact that you were clenching your thighs together to release the tension you felt between your legs. Then one day as you were about to sit down at your desk Toji asks if you would sit next to him instead.
"I don't think it's appropriate to be so close to one of my patients," you smile and you could see a small pout on his face.
"Don't you want your patients to feel comfortable and feel you are building a bond with them?" He tilts his head and you laugh, knowing what he's doing. You grab your notebook and pen and sit at the other end of the couch, crossing one leg over the other. He smiles at you and places both his hands in his lap, hinting he won't try anything.
"We haven't gotten into your past relationships. Would you like to talk about your ex-wives or anyone you've been involved with?"
"Like people I've fucked?" he smirks and you shake your head looking down at your notepad.
"If that has anything to do with the person you are today or why you ended up here then sure."
"Sure it does, I mean how else would I have gotten two kids in this world without fucking some pretty girls," you rolled your eyes. "You have any kids, Doc?"
"No, I don't."
"Why not?" he questions.
"Toji, we're here to talk about you—”
"We're building a bond," your body leans back on the sofa letting out a sigh.
"I'm just not the motherly type," you tap your pen lightly against the notepad.
"So you just have casual sex then, nothing serious?" you can see the small smirk on his face.
"What does my sex life have to do with you?" you put your pen down and look at him.
"I'm just curious, Doc, wanna get to know you," he's grinning, trying to get in your head.
You raise your eyebrow, "Asking me about sex is getting to know me?" All he does is nod his head and you roll your eyes mumbling a 'fine.'
You turn your body towards him still leaning against the couch with your legs crossed, "Yes, I just have casual sex."
"Is it.....good?"
You laughed a little at the question, "I mean sometimes it is, other times not so much."
"What's the kind of sex you like?" his lip was between his teeth, he's just curious.
You tapped your chin with your finger in thought, "I don't know, I like it all." You looked at Toji, eyes scanning over his muscular arms, then down to his pants where you could see him getting hard. "Most of the time, sex just depends on the mood that's set."
"So what's the mood that's set right now?" your eyes widened at how forward the question was, clearing your throat as you looked away from him.
"Toji—"
"You know you want to, Doc," he slides his hand from off his lap and onto your leg. He was running his fingers back and forth on your smooth skin, your body felt hot and a shock of electricity ran up your back. You knew this was wrong, so so wrong, but it just felt so right.
He leaned his bigger body closer to yours, lips ghosting right over the shell of your ear as his hand pushed off your notepad and pen, making its way under your tight pencil skirt and rubbing his fingers over your panties, "Such a dirty girl getting all wet for an inmate."
You did feel dirty, about to fuck your patient in your office of a prison, it was disgusting, but your pussy has never been wetter at the thought. You turned his head towards you bringing him into a heated kiss. His tongue was exploring your mouth as his fingers were sliding your panties over to rub circles on your clit. Moaning in his mouth, he smirked against your lips, "Lemme eat your pussy, Doc."
He stood up from the couch, fingers still massaging your clit as his lips are still entangled with yours. A string of saliva connects your lips as he bends down in front of you, both hands grabbing your thighs and spreading them apart. He can see a wet spot on your panties, and swipes his tongue across the spot, briefly tasting your bitter juice and letting out a moan, "Didn't think I'd miss eating pussy, but God I did."
He pulls your panties down and off your legs making sure to slide them in his pockets, then uses two fingers to spread your folds apart, exposing your glossy pussy to the cold air in your office, "You have such a pretty pussy, Doc."
Letting out a needy whine when you feel his breath against your cunt, it causes your aching hole to clench around nothing, Toji's eyes widened at the sight, "Toji... please just eat my pussy!"
He smirks at your whining, leaning his head down to kiss your clit, "Your such a nasty girl..." His tongue slid down your folds, breathing in your scent, "acting like a slut for an inmate." Your head is leaned back against the couch, moaning at the contact from his warm tongue. His tongue is circling your clit before he's closing his lips around it, sucking the nub into his mouth.
"Mmm—Toji!" your moans are music to his ears as your thighs are squeezing around his head. He's so messy, practically making out with your pussy, fingers digging into the fat of your thighs, "Mouth feels....so good." Your fingers are tangled in his black hair, as your rutting against his face, and he's moaning at your taste.
He slides one hand up your body, tapping his fingers on your lips, and you open your mouth allowing two of his thick digits to sit on your tongue as you suck on them, "You gotta be quiet dirty girl, don't want us to get caught, huh?" You nod your head, legs lightly shaking around his head, as he continues to lap at your messy cunt.
Your clit feels tingly as you feel a hot feeling of pleasure bubbling in your lower stomach, your toes are curling, and Toji's name is rolling off your tongue like a song. He laughs lowly, the vibration sending a shock up your spine, "Aw, Doc, you gonna cum already?"
His eyes are looking right into yours as you nod your head frantically, still sucking on his fingers. Your roll your hips into his face, chasing your orgasm, fingers gripping onto his hair, and right as he starts flicking his tongue against your clit once more, your legs are shutting around his head as your back arches off the couch, "Fuck, fuck—Toji I'm cumming!" He continues to slurp at your cunt, getting you through your orgasm, hand rubbing your thigh soothingly.
"God, your pussy tastes so good," he smiles wide as he's licking his lips, and removes his fingers from your mouth. You steady your breathing as you open your eyes seeing his dopey grin.
"You know for you to have been in here for 5 years, you're good at eating pussy," you laugh sitting up on the couch, then bring him into a slow sloppy kiss, letting your hand trail down and rub against the bulge that was in his pants.
"I don't have time for teasing, sweetheart, I'm already on edge from eating your pussy," he groans against your lips.
"Then stand up," he was quick to stand to his feet, your eyes looking right up at him as your sat on the couch. You kiss against this clothed bulge, fanning your breath over it and his head is leaning back.
"Fuck, Doc, just take it out," your hands are pulling down his pants just past his balls, eyes widening at the size of his cock.
"So big," you moan licking the underside of his cock and your eyes are watching his expressions. His lip between his teeth, eyes screwed shut, and his big hand holding the back of your neck. Parting your lips letting just his tip past your lips, tasting the salty pre-cum that was leaking. You swirl your tongue around his tip, then widen your mouth to take more of his length while a hand fondles his balls.
Bobbing your head taking most of his fat cock, he's groaning and bucking his hips into your mouth, tip hitting the back of your throat making you gag, "Yeah, gag on my cock, Doc." He's watching you with dark, hungry eyes, as breathy, deep moans slip past his lips, he's struggling to keep himself quiet, "Such a good girl, with a filthy mouth."
You moan at his dirty talk, fingers massaging his warm squishy balls, as you relax your mouth deep throating him as best you could. He squeezed the back of your neck pulling you off his cock then leaned down to kiss you, shoving his tongue in your mouth, "Feel like a fucking virgin 'bout to cum in 2 seconds."
Spitting on his fingers, he rubs your clit, then stuffs two of his fingers in your wet hole, you instantly spread your legs, and moan against his lips, "Tell me how you want me to fuck you, Doc."
"I don't know—mmm—just put it inside me," he's kissing you again before a hand wraps around your neck and he's whispering in your ear.
"Ride this dick," he pulls his fingers out of your soaking cunt, you rise to your feet quickly, switching places with him so he's now sat on the couch. He grabs each of your thighs placing them on the sides of his so you're straddling him, hands on your hips as yours are around his neck.
He guides you down on his length, both of you moaning feeling the stretch, "Fuck, pussy's so tight." Once you're fully sat on Toji's thighs, he doesn't rush you, letting you get used to him, kissing on your neck, then sliding up your sweater to expose your boobs, sucking on one of your nipples.
Your rise your hips until it's just his tip that's in you before sliding back down, taking him fully again. You keep the slow pace of riding him, as his hands are rubbing softly on your hips, lips still sucking on your hard nipple as you moan his name. "Toji feels soo good," you whine head leaning in the crook of his neck.
"How about you speed up for me?" you do as your told, lifting your hips again and then slamming them back down on his thighs. Your ass continues to slap against his thighs, the sound of how of wet you are filling the room. Toji moans in your ear about how wet your pussy is, you can't do anything besides moan his name, so intoxicated with the feeling of him filling you up.
Your legs were starting to give out, Toji could feel you slowing down, so he moved his hands under your ass slamming you down on his cock as he started to thrust up meeting you halfway. Kneading the flesh of your ass before smacking it, you let out a yelp clenching around his shaft and Toji's head fell back against the couch, "Fuck, Doc, pussy so good, you're gonna make me cum already."
He moves one hand to play with your puffy clit, and you moan loud in his ear, making him turn his head and capture your lips in a kiss, shushing you. You grind your hips into his fingers and within a minute your creaming all over his cock, squeezing him with your gummy walls, and he's coming right after you. Lifting you off of him and cumming on your stomach, with a loud moan of your name.
Your forehead is leaning against his as you both calm your breathing down before you're lifting off of him and heading to your desk to grab tissues to wipe off his cum. "For an inmate, your stamina ain't too bad," you laugh fixing your clothes.
"Well if we make this a regular thing, it could get better," he's pulling his pants back up, his eyes glued to you. Before you could respond there was a knock on the door, you both look at each other before he sat back down on the couch and you sitting at your desk.
"Come in!" you yell and Gojo walks in with a concerned look on his face.
"Everything okay? You guys took longer than normal?" Gojo questions arms crossed against this chest.
"Yeah, I was just crying about my past," Toji pouts and Gojo scoffs.
"Yeah right," Gojo leans against the door frame.
"I was explaining to him about my past, and it got a little emotional," you explain. "Building a bond with my patients requires trust on both ends."
"Hm, makes sense," he walks over closer to Toji. "But I'm going to have to break up this bonding moment, all inmates need to be in their cells."
You nod in understanding, and Toji stands up, hands behind his back, so Gojo can put on the cuffs. "Same time tomorrow, Doc?" Toji looks towards his pocket where your pink panties are sticking out with a smirk.
Your eyes widen as you force a smile, "Same time tomorrow."
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©HANNSDIARY 2023 | all rights reserved. please don’t copy, steal, modify, or repost my work on other sites.
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pandoraslxna · 10 months
Text
A lesson on concentration
adult Neteyam x female omatikaya reader x adult Neytan
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Words: 5.6k
Summary: Lately, you can’t seem to focus on any of your training lessons in preparation for your upcoming iknimaya and your karyu [teacher] are determined to find out why.
Warnings: explicit smut, teacher / student dynamics, sexual tension, praise kink, teasing, tail pulling, dirty talk, mmf threesome, oral, fingering, p in v, creampie, spitroasting, cum swallowing, bratty reader, minimal age difference (reader is 20, twins are 27), not tagging this as incest because they don’t physically engage with each other only with the reader but if that makes you uncomfortable- don’t read it.
Notes: Huge thanks to my beloved @cinetrix for creating the delicious image above! (And thanks to @sugarcorpselyn for the name inspo!!) It was such an honor for me to bring Neytan to life and I hope you guys like him. 😏🫶🏻
Na‘vi translations:
iknimaya - rite of passage into adulthood
numeyu - student(s)
tanhì - (little) star
paskalin - honey
karyu - teacher
sevin - pretty
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Aren’t twins supposed to be identical?
That’s what you always thought. Not that you came across many twins in your life before, except for this strange pair. But it was true, right? Twins are supposed to be alike. Not just by their physical appearance, but by personality, the way they would act, too.
Jake once told you, that they were identical when they were babies. They would cry and sniffle, giggle and coo all the same way. But otherwise than their looks, there was barely any resemblance between these two now.
Except for the fact that both of them were, what the rest of the clan would describe as, perfect. The golden twins of the Sully’s.
The two of them had been the best at pretty much everything since they were kids. Whether it was climbing or running or even weaving, none of the other children could keep up with them. And it got even worse when they got older. Both twins had mastered the ability to hunt with great precision, accuracy and success at the young age of fourteen. It was no surprise that they completed their iknimaya at the age of fifteen at first try.
Neteyam and Neytan are twins. Counterparts, equals, yet opposite.
Neteyam was kind, responsible and sympathetic. He wasn’t just a gifted child, he worked hard to earn himself his place in the clan. He was grateful and set a good example, not just for his siblings but also for the young warriors that he trained for their iknimaya.
While Neytan, well… Neytan was a smug little bastard. Arrogant even. He clearly enjoyed to put himself above others and as the first born son of the toruk makto (by five whole minutes), he carried himself with pride. It was hard for any of his numeyu to live up to his expectations, which was unfortunate for you, because you were one of them.
"Breath in. Hold it."
Holding your bow high and flexed, an arrow nocked at the ready, you inhale deeply, straightening your spine to hold position. Neteyam’s hand on your stomach sends tingles through your whole body that you could hardly ignore and when his chest comes in contact with your back as he leans in closer, your hands begin to tremble.
"Focus", Neteyam murmurs, a pair of fingertips guiding your wrists to aim at the target, while stabilizing them enough to stop them from shaking. His warm breath fans over the top of your head, making you utterly aware of how close he was to you in this moment.
A third hand suddenly taps your elbow, urging you to correct your stance as it slowly begins to falter, the longer Neteyam holds you close like this. It’s Neytan, who stands next to you with his arms crossed over his chest, but instead like Neteyams eyes that were fully concentrated on the target, he was looking right at you. You felt his eyes burn themselves into the side of your face, making you forget that you were supposed to hold your breath for a second.
When Neteyam steps back, your arms already begin to ache from holding them in position for quite some time now. Still, you hold your stance and keep your eyes on the target as best as you could.
"Very good, just like that", Neteyam praises softly, causing your cheeks to blush.
As much as you tried not to let yourself get distracted by the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach— the ones that wriggled and writhed, the ones that made your legs buckle, you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched in your throat.
There was a moment of silence as you waited, the Yerik in front of you stopping to graze, oblivious to its fate. The only sound was the clicking of animals and the soft whisper of the wind, blowing through the crowns of the trees.
"And… shoot!"
Right command, an arrow whizzed through the air, but it misses the Yerik completely and hits the bark of a tree instead. You watch your prey run off into the depths of the forest, feeling your stomach drop in disappointment.
"Argh! Fuck!" You shout, your voice echoing through the forest, sending birds scattering to the sky and ruining all chances of finding another animal to hunt in the next couple of hours.
"Great. Good job", Neytan scoffed sarcastically.
Like a child throwing a tantrum, you slam your bow to the ground and cross your arms over your chest, mumbling curses and what not under your breath.
Next to you, Neteyam sighs deeply. With a caressing hand on your cheek he tells you, "It’s okay, tanhì. We‘ll try again, go get your bow."
The nickname he had chosen specifically for you, the one that normally did wonders when he tried to cheer you up, did little to make you feel better now. You weren’t just disappointed in yourself for failing yet again, you were embarrassed too. Embarrassed, because you surely would’ve mastered your iknimaya by now, if it weren’t for them.
You knew it wasn’t fair to blame them, but ever since they had decided to train you in private lessons, it had become increasingly difficult for you to make any progress. When you were still training with the other students as a rather big group, you had already been struggling to keep your mind clean and not think about the two handsome twins like that. But now, with all the physical contact, the close proximity, the nicknames... it was impossible for you to stay concentrated at all.
"What’s up with you today, huh?"
Neytan cocked his head to the side, braids swaying over his muscular shoulders as his eyes scanned you up and down. Despite the way his intense gaze made you squirm, you dared to roll your eyes, thinking he might not notice with the way you held your head down and stared at the ground.
"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" So much for that. You still don’t look directly at him, but you can see the way he moves closer to you in the corner of your eyes.
Feeling a little too bold for your own good, you mumble quietly under your breath, "if you would’ve focused, maybe you—"
"Watch it, tanhì", Neytan cuts you off, mocking his brothers nickname for you, which finally makes your eyes snap in his direction. The oldest Sully was almost towering over you now, arms still crossed over his chest and eyes squinted as if he was trying to see right through your façade. Instinctively, your ears flattened against the side of your head.
"Nothing’s up with me today", you sigh in defeat. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, your eyes find the ground again, keeping up your little game of pretending to be very interested in counting every single blade of grass below your feet.
It’s Neteyam that finally speaks up, his voice sounding closer than it was before, but also more soft, compared to his brothers. "You’re unfocused. More than usually." You completely miss the way they exchange looks, silently communicating in a way that only twins do.
"I‘m not…"
"Yes, you are", he chuckles and the sound of it sends heat to your cheeks. "What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, hm?"
"Nothing!", it comes out as fast as a gunshot, making you wince because you couldn’t possibly be any more obvious, "I don’t even know what you’re t—"
"She thinks we’re stupid, brother", Neytan laughs, nudging his brothers side with his elbow before he looks back at you. "Do you really think we’re that dense? That we didn’t notice?"
Helplessly, your eyes search for Neteyams. His expression is soft like always, a gentle smile on his lips and you feel warmth spread in your core, nerves fluttering in your stomach at the way he looks back at you. Normally, he’s the one to calm his twin. The one that makes sure he takes it easy on you, to give you a second chance when you mess up again. But something was different today.
You jump when a finger suddenly hooks under your chin and tilts your head slightly. "Don’t look at him. Look at me", Neytan says lowly. A wave of goosebumps tingles down your arms and up the nape of your neck as you blink up at the other twin. He grins sharply and raises a brow, "So, are you going to admit it? Or do you want us to speak it out for you?"
Hesitantly, you shake your head no. Neither option sounded very appealing to you right now, as you felt like a little mouse caught in a trap, stared down by two big, blue, hungry cats.
"You’re adorable, tanhì", Neteyam chuckles from beside you. You could feel the warmth of his hand as it settles on your arm, gently tracing your stripes while he speaks. "I think you’re not paying any attention to your lessons because your mind is elsewhere." There’s a pause, a split second where both twins look at each other and then back at you, before he continues, "But we could help you with that."
Your mouth opens and closes like a fish stuck on land, but no words seem to come out as your eyes flick back and forth between the two of them. The sudden urge to squeeze your thighs together overcomes you, adding pressure to the burning heat between your legs that you were trying so hard to ignore this whole time. Had you really been this obvious to them?
"What’s wrong? Palulukan‘s got your tongue?", Neytan chuckles. The finger he had hooked under your chin finally moves, his hand cupping your face now and his thumb traced the outline of your bottom lip, blown pupils following along. "My brother has been talking about those pretty lips day and night, you know? Made me want to have a taste of them too."
Swallowing thickly, a wave of confidence seized up inside you. "W-Wouldn’t it be unfair to… to be the first to taste them then?" You say quietly, almost whispering.
Neytans eyes widen at that. "Bold", he scoffs with a smirk and you watch the way his tongue swipes over his own lips to wet them. Thinking he’ll mostly likely ignore you, smug bastard that he was, it actually takes you by surprise when he steps aside, allowing Neteyam to take his place.
"My pretty little tanhì", he muses, reaching up to take your face in both of his big, warm palms. His thumbs gently draw circles on your cheeks and you watch the way his eyes scan over every little detail on your face, admiring the pattern of your bioluminescence freckles that earned you this nickname a while ago. "You want me to kiss you, hm?" Yes. "Make you feel good?" Please. "I‘ll help you get rid of all these filthy thoughts in your head so you can focus again, how’s that sound?"
Swallowing back a whimper, you nod quickly.
Your eyes are half lidded now and standing on your very tip toes you part your lips slightly, preparing for him to finally lean in and kiss you. But instead of your lips, he delivers a small peck to your cheek. And another one to your jaw. Your throat is next. You squeeze your eyes shut, squirming as you let him shower you in tingling kisses. You then feel him deepen the kiss, his tongue lapping over your pulse point, making you shiver, as he sucks hickeys to your skin.
Once he’s done, he travels further down to nose at your collarbone. "You always smell so sweet", Neteyam tell you lowly, before he moves back to your throat and inhales deeply. "It’s hard for me to concentrate too, you know? But I’m a lot better at hiding it." Neytan chuckles at this.
When he comes back up, he’s met with your flushed face, cheeks burning and drowsy eyes staring up at him through long lashes. Neteyam smiles warmly at you, his tail curling behind his back in anticipation when he finally presses his lips against yours. You sigh into the kiss, parting your lips so his tongue could curl around yours.
Behind you, Neytan places a kiss to your shoulder, not as soft and tender as his brothers, as you soon feel teeth sink into your skin. You feel him nibble on your ear next, sharp canine grazing your skin but Neteyam swallows the soft whimper escaping you. A pair of hands glide over your arms, over your sides and down to your hips and you know they belong to Neytan, with the way they grope your flesh on their way down to where your loincloth was tied around your hips.
Once he had freed you from it, the oldest Sully wastes no time in nudging your legs apart with his knee. You break the kiss with Neteyam, panting for air, to glance back over your shoulder. It’s his brothers turn to catch you in a heated kiss now. Neytan is all tongue and teeth, sucking on your tongue and biting your bottom lip as he kisses you fiercely.
When cold air brings your nipples to hard peaks, you realize that your top is gone too. You can barely hear Neteyams praise when your bare tits come into his view, over the blood rushing through your head.
You don’t even know who’s doing what or where anymore, but your limbs are becoming unstable and weak like molten wax as both pair of hands explore your body. Heat is spreading through your core, slithering deep in a place where you crave them most.
You feel Neteyams lips close around a nipple and whimper against Neytans, when he playfully pulls on the little nub with his teeth. It was like a dance- once you’d break away from Neytan, his brother pulled you into another kiss, while it was Neytans turn to caress your neck and throat, his hands groping your chest.
Their low hums vibrated against your skin, surrounding you like a subtle lullaby. They were almost caging you in between their tall bodies and you squirmed a little, but didn’t mind the closeness in the slightest. Sucked into an abyss of sensations, your head swims and you‘re unable to focus on anything else, besides their lips and hands all over you. All you could see, hear and smell was them. You were swallowed between them like a trapped bird.
Your head falls back against Neytans broad chest as Neteyams hand sneaks it’s way lower and between your thighs. He cups your pussy, feeling for how wet you are and then slides his fingers between your folds with groan.
The way his thumb ghosted over your clit had your hips jerking in response but you whined as the touch didn’t relieve any of the tension that was slowly building inside you.
"Neteyam", you begged, oh, so sweetly, "Please don’t tease…"
"See?", Neteyam beamed with pride as he glanced at his brother over your shoulder, "I told you she behaves better with me."
His twin only rolled his eyes at that, chuckling, "Because she knows you wouldn’t know what to do with a brat like her, brother. That’s why she acts up with me, right? You want me to put you in your place?"
You feel heat flood your cheeks once again, tainting them in dark red and unwanted admission. You just didn’t want to give into him so easily. With Neteyam, it was always simple. But with Neytan, it was a mutual game of cat and mouse, a push and pull.
Neytans hand had found it’s way between your thighs too, and while his twin teasingly circled your clit, he wasted no time in plunging his middle finger to the last knuckle past your slippery entrance. Instead of a response, your knees buckled and you gasped sharply, moaning when he curls his finger inside of you.
"F-Fuck!"
"I asked you a question, numeyu."
Pursing your lips together into a thin line, you refused to answer him and his mean antics, but then quickly felt a second finger nudge at your entrance.
"C‘mon, answer him", Neteyam smiled down at you, his thumb simultaneously flicking over your clit more rapidly.
"Yes, sir", is all you can force out between high-pitched moans. Right on cue, Neytan groans at your response and begins to scissor you open with his slender digits, pulling more of those pretty sounds out of you.
"She’s so sweet like this", Neteyam chuckled to his brother, before he dipped his head down to place another kiss to your lips, "you’re such a good girl for me, tanhì."
His lips meet yours gently, coaxing them open, happily exploring the inside of your mouth with his tongue again. His brothers hand finds your breast, pinches your nipple between the pads of his fingers, while his others are pumping agonizingly slowly in and out of your pussy and your toes start to curl when he repeatedly hits that special spot inside of you.
It doesn’t take long for your muscles to contract around his digits, wordlessly begging for more while you hold onto Neteyam with all of your might. Feeling both of their hands between your legs, covered in your sticky arousal, groping at you, spreading you and drawing circles on your clit, has your mind spiraling. The more they play with you like this, the closer you feel, nearing the edge of your orgasm.
"Close, huh? Yeah, you’re almost there, pretty girl, that’s it", Neytan purrs into your ear and the obscene squelching sounds he coaxed out of your pussy are enough to make your eyes roll back into your head. "C’mon, paskalin. Come for us."
If it weren’t for the way you were sandwiched between the two of them, you would’ve collapsed as your orgasm finally overtook all of your senses, leaving you moaning and gasping for air. Your legs stutter together but their hands keep them spread, holding your thighs apart. Neteyam wasn’t letting up on your clit until you whimpered and sobbed into his shoulder, clawing at his forearms to stay upright.
The oldest twin is then the first to withdraw his hands from between your thighs. You watch him over your shoulder, as he sucks his slick covered fingers clean, humming at your taste. His brother is next, but before his hand comes up again, he dips a single finger into you, coating it in your arousal which causes your hips to twitch in hypersensitivity, just to then bring them to your own lips.
"Say ahh", Neteyam smiles and you do as your told, sticking your tongue out for him to smear your slick onto it. You taste the lingering tang of your own arousal, but just as you’re about to close your mouth and taste yourself properly, Neteyam objects, "Not yet. I want to taste you too." Before you know it, he closes his lips around your tongue and sucks.
Neteyam groans and with the way you’re pressed against his chest, it rumbles through you. You’re hot, so hot you feel like you might just spontaneously combust, your whole body washed in a tingling flush.
Meanwhile, Neytan moves your hair to the side so he can kiss the back of your neck.
"Get on your hands and knees, sevin or I‘ll take you right here. And I don’t care if your legs will give in", he whispers, his breath hot on your skin and you can practically feel the grin on his face without having to look at him.
Breaking the kiss, a light pressure on your shoulder prompts you to kneel and both of them offer you a hand to do so, seeing the way your legs already wobble. You’re just glad the grass is soft under your knees as you get into position, your hazy eyes watching as both twins rid themselves of their loincloths.
They’re twins indeed, you think as their cloths fall to the ground, staring up at them with wide eyes. Their tails rhythmically sway behind their backs, excited and eager and they stare you down so intensely and with so much lust in their eyes that your heart begins to race.
"What’s the matter, hm? Nervous?", Neytan grins as he circles you to stand behind your back.
"No", you breathe out, cursing the way your voice comes out trembling.
"Don’t be", Neteyam smiles warmly as he steps closer, "We‘ll take good care of you, tanhì."
You couldn’t help the way your mouth begins to salivate as you watch him stroke his hard cock right in front of your face, the mushroomy head of it already leaking pre-cum.
Heat floods your cheeks as he cups your face in his free hand and nudges the head of his cock against your plump lips, smearing his pre over them with relish.
"Say you want it", Neteyam mumbles lowly, too lost in the sight of your lips on his cock to even look you in the eyes, "Say you want to suck my cock."
"I- I want to suck your cock, Neteyam."
Your hands then reach out to touch him. He twitches in your palms, too big for you to close your hands entirely around it. The realization alone made you feel uneasy and heat pools from your core and smears between your thighs. Experimentally, you squeeze and stroke him, before you press a small kiss on top of it and he can’t help but huff out a breath, smiling at the precious sight before him.
"C‘mon, tanhì. Put it in", he sounds a little breathless by now, "Or do I have to teach you how to do this too?"
He watches you with half lidded eyes, as you let saliva pool in your mouth and then stick your tongue out and let it drip down onto his tip. It makes his dick glisten, slippery with your spit. You continue with dragging your tongue up the underside of his dick and he groans, enjoying the feeling of that wet, warm muscle against his hard length.
Those kitten licks and kisses felt good, incredible even, but they were not nearly enough, not for how hard he was. But Neteyam was a patient man.
You drag the flat of your tongue up, the tip of it flicking just beneath the head of his cock. His hips jerk at the sensation and he rolls his neck back with a groan. He tries to restrain himself– to restrain the urge to just flip you onto your stomach and fuck you senseless, make you scream his name for the whole forest to hear.
Neytan on the hand wasn’t exactly known for being very patient, not as your karyu and not right now. Behind your back, you could hear him move. You couldn’t really see him like this, but you knew he was there, settling himself behind you. With a hand on your back he urges you to arch your spine more. With his thigh, he nudges your legs further apart and makes room for him to kneel between them. His hands roam your body, kneading your breasts and stroking over your back, where he then leaves wet kisses and small bites behind, marking every inch of skin he could reach.
The sensation of hands all over you was overwhelming.
They travel lower then, to where he spreads your soft folds with his thumbs. "Still so fucking wet", Neytan chuckles, licking his lips, "no wonder you couldn’t concentrate. Filthy girl, you must’ve wanted this so badly."
With his cock in hand, he carefully nudges the tip against your tight entrance, easing into you ever so slowly. The stretch of his girth is on the borderline of being painful, dancing on a knifes edge, but it’s also devastatingly perfect. With each passing second, you can feel yourself being forced open, further than you ever thought was possible. Once every merciless inch of his cock is shoved deep inside you, you moan, already close to coming yet again. The sound was heavenly to their ears and Neytan presses his hips even tighter against yours. Like this, you could already feel the head of his cock against your cervix, which caused a small sob to escape your lips.
Your mouth hangs open as you try to let your body adjust to his size and it’s enough of an opportunity for Neteyam to slide his cock into your mouth.
At this, you clench around Neytan, hard.
He groans into your hair, his forehead dropping against your back and you whimper when he pushes forward, as if there was any more room for him inside of you. His fingers dig into your hips hard enough to bruise.
"Eywa, baby ease up a little. You’re squeezing me so t-tight", Neytan curses through gritted teeth.
"Just breathe through your nose. Focus on me, tanhì. We‘ll make it fit, don’t worry your pretty little head."
Another inch of his length glides over your tongue and further into your mouth, but you do as your told, breathing through your nose in short pants of air. Your eyes already begin to water, but you still manage to glance up at Neteyam who was staring right back down at you, biting his bottom lip in restrain.
"M‘gonna come", you mumble barely intelligible with his dick halfway in your mouth.
"She’s coming just from putting it in", Neytan laughs staggered, "Fuck, I think I’ll have to keep you, paskalin."
You fall apart right as he pulls himself out all the way and then snaps his hips forward, pushing back inside you in one fluid thrust. The way his waist collides with your bottom emerges a loud and obscene smack and you whimper. With his hands, Neteyam holds your head up, gives you enough leverage so you don’t fall face first against the ground as his twin begins to set his pace. You barely have time to come down from your second high, when Neytan begins to fuck you in deep, long strokes.
The movement pushes you forward and makes you swallow more of Neteyam, who groans in response. Tongue teasing the salty slit, his mouth falls open and his hands move to fist your hair into a messy ponytail. You hollow your cheeks as best as you can, sucking and slurping on his length.
To the rhythm of Neytans thrusts, you bob your head up and down, tongue glued to the hard length of Neteyam. He’s so far from being fully buried inside your mouth, his size was making it incredibly difficult, but he could feel you push yourself to your limit. You were making these wet noises that went straight to his dick and with your hand, you stroked every inch your mouth couldn’t reach.
Neteyams hips were already twitching with the effort to not hold your head still and just fuck your throat. Thankfully, a few especially hard thrusts of Neytan had you take him even further inside, until you were gagging and moaning around him.
"There you go, that’s it, tanhì", he praised you from above, nodding his head to encourage you, "You look so pretty like that, making all these cute noises for us. You really are my best numeyu, you know that right? Fuuck, yes. My favorite girl, doing so good for me."
You look up at him, the tears that had been picking at the corner of your eyes finally tickle down your cheeks as he hit the back of your throat. You manage to hum around his length, in place of a verbal response.
Tilting his head as if he's observing a rare specimen, the other twins attention was fixed entirely on the way your soft, round cheeks jiggled with every harsh thrust of his. Angling his hips, he expertly brushed his cock against your g-spot now, coaxing moan after moan from your lips.
"You feel so fucking good", he groans, "We should’ve done this sooner, should’ve done this every single time you lost focus."
Slowly, Neteyam pulls out of your mouth just as your gagging grows a little louder, admiring the strings of glistening saliva connecting his tip to your swollen lips. Immediately, you gasp for air, panting and moaning more freely, while your hand keeps stroking over his length.
"Ney-tan", you whimper his name, words cut off by his harsh thrusts, "Y-You’re fuck-ing me so g-good, oh my e-eywa!"
"Because that’s what you deserve, tanhì. I told you we‘ll take good care of you", Neteyam coos from above and you feel the way his cock throbs in your palms, impatient to feel your lips wrap around it again.
"I think I‘ll never be able to continue training you, without having my cock buried inside your tight little pussy", Neytan chuckles, "so better get used to it."
The promising words send your heart a flutter and you could feel another orgasm nearing, right as one of his hands wedged itself between your thighs to fondle at your clit.
"Please, please, I’m so clo—", you whine, barely able to finish your pleading before Neteyams head dips down to catch your lips in another kiss. "I want to come with you", he mumbles against your lips, his voice strained with lust and desperation. Nodding, you untangle your tongue from his and take his cock back into your mouth.
Neytans thrusts have turned into a more rapid pace than before. He’s chasing his own orgasm with every fibre in his being, his hips snapping against yours so hard that it felt like you were being spanked. And maybe that’s exactly what he was aiming for. His middle and index finger work furiously over your sensitive clit, knowing exactly where and how to circle that small bundle of nerves to get you to come. And by the feeling of your walls fluttering around him, he knew you were about to.
Your tail curls and sways around his face more fiercely the harder he fucks you. Deciding to bring it to good use, his other hand leaves your hip to wrap itself around your tail. Using the new leverage, he tugs harshly, pulling you back against him and you yelp, the sound muffled around Neteyams cock.
Steadying yourself on said twins thigh, your nails dig into his skin as a rush of pleasure surges through you the way waves crash on the shore when you feel your tail being pulled and that’s all it takes for both of you to cum, the vibrations of your moans around Neteyams cock sending him clean over the edge.
"S-Swallow", is all he groans as you feel thick spurts of cum land directly on your tongue. Your throat constricts around him, cock throbbing and twitching wildly as the salty taste spreads over your tastebuds. "Yes, fuuck, that’s it. Good girl, swallow it all."
When he finally pulls himself out, his cock leaves you with a wet pop. Crouching down to be eye level with you, Neteyam keeps holding your head in his tender hands, preventing you from getting fucked face first into the dirty ground. Your expression is one of pure bliss, with your eyebrows scrunched together in pleasure as you rode out your peak.
"You did so well, tanhì", he praises, placing a soft kiss to your forehead. The complete opposite of his twins actions behind you.
"Teyam, f-fuck, s-so good", you whimper, "s'too much. I- I can’t!"
"Hmh, i bet you feel incredible like this. I can’t wait for my turn.", he chuckles, "Just focus, I know you can take it. I‘m right here, pretty."
At his words, you clench around Neytans cock, pulling him in and holding him right there until he could merely pull out of you for more than a few inches. His thrusts become short and deep and just as desperate as his twins before him.
Until all he feels is heat, that incredibly tight heat that squeezes and sucks him in, with the most obscene sounds he’s ever heard– and he’s done for.
"S-Shit, you’re so tight! Gonna make me cum", Neytan groans, his body locking up, every muscle becoming rock hard, and then a shudder starts from the base of his spine, flowering outward through his entire body.
"Take it– oh fuck. Take it like you’re fucking made for it!"
You felt him come harder than you expected him to, as he gave a couple of thrusts more, hips suddenly pausing, and then you felt it flowing— hot shots of cum pumped into you, filling you up nice and warm as he lost himself inside you with a deep groan.
With a bruising grip on your hips, he holds you there and fills you up, until it leaks around his cock and bubbles onto the soft grass below your knees.
You nearly sob when Neytan pulls out, leaving you feeling exposed and empty, but it’s over quickly, when Neteyam scoops you into his warm embrace. A pleasant ache begins to settle over you as you come down from your high, feeling incoherent to form any other thoughts or words you just hum into the space of his shoulder.
A low chuckle jostles you a little further into his arms and you allow your eyes so fall closed. However, a not so gently pull to your tail snaps your eyes right back open and you glare over your shoulder to find the source of your discomfort.
"So, little numeyu", Neytan grins right back at you, as he ties his loincloth around his hips with ease. "Think you can focus better now? Let’s hope so, because you still have to hunt down that Yerik from earlier."
With furrowed brows, you turn your head to look at Neteyam. The other twin was smiling down at you, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear before he chuckles, "You didn’t think todays lesson would be over so easily, did you? Oh, tanhì. We’re not done with you yet."
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llamagoddessofficial · 6 months
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Hello hello! This is Relating to the prison au and the idea suddenly came to me but how would it differ if the mc was a a lot younger like an intern? I tried searching more if it was even allowed to be a med student intern in a prison but I dunno I just thought it was a neat idea, like if she appeared like an optimistic platonic younger sister more than a romantic interest? Aaaa sorry English isn't my first language I hope the idea got through ^^'
I want to congratulate you, anon... you're the first person in a long time to ask something related to prison au that has never been asked before!
Sans: Unfortunately, he'll be even worse. More manipulative, more possessive... more evil. With an older Mc he might see her as easy to manipulate, but he still absolutely views her as her own person- he'd do bad stuff but he (at least) would still respect her opinions and choices. When she's young, he does not respect her opinions and choices. She's just a kid who doesn't know better, someone who needs him to make the big decisions on her behalf.
The worst part is, once he attaches, he sees her like a little sister. It really fucks up his mind- all of those messy, dark, painful feelings about Papyrus, all that unresolved grief from losing one younger sibling... he doesn't care what happens to anyone. Or anything. So long as he doesn't lose any more family.
He's kind to her; oh-so-kind, a sweet and goofy older brother figure who makes terrible puns and chats to her for hours about her favourite videogames. But he's a terrifying empty creature, and he's absolutely going to use her youth and inexperience to his advantage, to make her trust him more than everyone else. Nothing is off the table.
Red: Red adores her. Much like Sans, he ends up in something of a 'big brother' role- the difference is that Red's connection with her is a lot healthier and gentler, with a decent amount of friendly 'fighting' (tossing harmless insults at each other). He turns into a different person around her; he minds his language somewhat, he manages his temper better, although he teases her his teasing never has any venom and he'll drop jokes that upset her. He was built to be a big brother, and he misses his Papyrus a lot- it feels good to have a bond like that with someone again.
(Speaking of Papyrus- he loves Mc too. He sees the effect she has on Red and he absolutely wants to encourage the positive growth. Also... he always wanted a younger sibling.)
Red makes jokes about giving her contraband or getting her in trouble, and her presence in his life has put her firmly on the inmate no-touch list. Red may be a criminal, and he may associate with people who have done terrible things... but he reserves the worst of the worst punishments for those who hurt kids, and his family. Let alone both.
She's been adopted by the mob.
Skull: Skull's intense feelings about Mc in the prison aus aren't really specifically romantic or platonic in the first place. It's his Soul crying out for love and connection after so long alone. They're just Skull Feelings- so a platonic Mc would see the same degree of insanity, desperation and clinginess from our darling cannibal as her older nurse counterpart.
But... I think he would be a bit better with her, overall. Mc being noticeably younger, in his eyes, makes her more 'fragile'- both emotionally and physically. That nagging thought of i need to be careful and responsible would centre him a little more, make him more aware, gentle and slow. In the same way he wouldn't want to frighten a small child, he doesn't want to frighten her; he moves like hes trying not to spook away a small animal. He'd be better at smiling.
... He would still get moments where he can't help himself. Moments where he snaps out of restraints and grabs her, moments where he attacks other staff for getting too close to her. But he tries.
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harryslittlefreakk · 3 months
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dr. styles
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Summary: fratboy!harry is a surgical resident in your class, and he helps you to relieve some stress*
Word count: 1745
Warnings: smutty, oral (f receiving), 18+
A/n: i’ve been watching too much greys anatomy and some kind of lhh/alex karev mash up needed to be written . not proofread!
my masterlist can be found here!
You slumped against the door, too exhausted to even get to bed. Your eyelids were heavy, threatening to close if you blinked for too long. You knew being a surgical resident would be exhausting, but this case was eating at you in a way you rarely experienced. Your patient was having seizures every few hours and you had no idea why. Pages of medical journals were swimming around your mind, but you couldn’t find anything that made any sense.
“D’ya need to be carried to bed, princess?” A voice spoke up from one of the bunks. Harry Styles, your bastard colleague. He was one of the men who got into medicine for the glory, for fun stories to tell women who thought he was a hero. He was one of the most arrogant and selfish people you’d ever met. “No, dickwad,” you retorted, too tired to be truly annoyed. Your feet dragged towards a bed on the opposite side of the room, suddenly hating how small the on-call room felt. You liked to keep a bigger distance, for your professional (and personal) sake. If anything was going to get you cut from this program, it wouldn’t be him.
Harry rolled over to look at you, flipping his shoulder-length hair out of his face. You hated his hair as much as his personality. He was forever whipping it around, running a hand through the top, generally fiddling with it in the hopes that young, impressionable women would appear. He was handsome, sure. If you met him at a bar you’d probably lust over him for the night, but he wasn’t anything to write home about. You groaned, covering your face with your forearm as you felt his eyes on you. “What?” He asked, feigning innocence. You rolled your eyes and turned away, slamming a pillow over your head. You needed to sleep so badly, but between your patient and Harry’s presence, you would need to count at least 2 billion sheep.
You only turned back around when you felt a great big lump weighing down the end of the mattress. “What now?” You snapped, glaring up at the man now sitting on your bed. “Jeez, Anna is pissed today too. There’s too many women in this damn hospital, you guys probably all synced up or something,” Harry scoffed, but kept his ass firmly planted where it was. “Fuck off, Harry.” You tried to kick at him, but he caught your ankle with one quick grab. “Seriously, I’m not in the mood. I can’t figure out this case and I need to sleep. Go away,” you half-shouted, now wishing you’d never even tried to rest.
“Tell me about your patient and I’ll leave you alone,” Harry offered, somewhat dejectedly. You sat up and told him all about her seizures, her medical history, everything you knew. He simply shrugged in response. You rubbed harshly at your temples, breathing a sigh of relief as he stood up. But Harry only stalked over to the door, locked it, and then resumed his position on your bed. “Harry, I’m not joking with you. I really need my rest,” you groaned. He knew exactly how to rub you the wrong way. “You’re a real bitch when you’re tired, y’know that?” he replied, coming to lay down behind you. You pushed yourself as far into the wall as you could, not bothering to even ask what he thought he was doing. “Hey, relax. I’m not trying anything. I just know it’s easier to sleep when someone’s with you,” Harry told you, wriggling his forearm under your head. Your body relaxed slightly at this. He was right. You always slept better with someone next to you, and these beds were hardly known for their comfort.
“She could have an aneurysm, y’know.” You barely heard what Harry had mumbled. Turning around to face him, you asked him to repeat himself. “An aneurysm,” you repeated. “That’s it! She had a fall recently. Didn’t even get checked out but that could explain everything!” You were laughing now, so relieved to at least have an idea of what was going on. “Oh Harry, I could-“
“You could what? Huh?” he smirked, glancing from your eyes to your lips. Harry had never wanted to admit how hot he found you, even at your meanest you were still one of the prettiest girls in the world to him. He stroked a soft hand across your cheek, leaning closer as he muttered, “do this?”
His lips met yours softly at first, waiting for you to shove him away. Instead, you opened your mouth wider for him, slipping your tongue past his teeth. He moaned against your mouth as your tongues battled for dominance, a fire brewing deep in your core. Harry pulled you on top of him, taking handfuls of your soft ass in his hands. “Maybe I should solve your cases more often,” he smirked against your mouth, deepening the kiss. “Maybe you should,” you replied, flipping the two of you around so Harry’s big body was above you. You rushed to pull each others clothes off, separating your mouths for as little time as possible.
You’d never realised what an incredible body he had under his scrubs. A chiselled six pack, tattoos littering his torso, and a deep v-line poking out of his boxers. You traced his inked laurels sitting just above the band of his pants with a careful fingertip, before dragging your hands up his body. Your kisses were hot and heavy now, saliva sitting on both of your swollen bottom lips. Harry pushed you back, pressing a hand to your belly to make sure you were flush with the bed, before hooking a long finger inside of your panties. He looked down at you as if asking for permission, and when you nodded, he slipped a digit inside of your opening. “So wet for me already baby girl,” he moaned, withdrawing his finger and licking it clean of your juices. You squirmed under him, lusting after the way his tongue moved skilfully around his fingers. “Harry,” you panted, “more please.”
“And here I was thinking you didn’t like me.” Harry’s words came out in a singsong tune, his trademark smirk nestled between two dimples. He pulled your panties down your legs, sliding down the bed as his arms moved, before nudging your inner thighs with his nose. Before you’d even fully opened yourself up to him, Harry was getting a taste of your pretty pussy. He lapped at your folds, moaning into you with every flick of his tongue. Your hands found his hair almost instantly, grabbing and clawing for something to hold onto. A loud groan tumbled out of your mouth as his lips moved to suckle on your clit. You’d never imagined someone’s mouth could bring you this much pleasure, let alone this mouth. “Fuck, harry,” you moaned, watching his head dive between your legs. “Gotta be quiet baby,” he reminded you, moving a hand up to brush your mouth. You nodded, whimpering under his fingers. He slipped a digit or two from his free hand under his tongue, moving inside you in a beckoning motion. Your back arched, feeling your core tighten. “I’m gonna come Harry, I’m-“
He shushed you as you panted. “I know baby. I’m gonna get y’there, okay?” His fingers and his tongue worked faster now, the idea of your sweet come on his lips almost too much to bear. Your head lulled back as your body began to shake, thighs closing in around his head. His long moan vibrating against your pussy tipped you over the edge. You pulled a pillow over your mouth as you cried out his name, hips bucking into his hand as he rode you through your orgasm.
You collapsed back into the bed, panting heavily. That was the most intense orgasm you’d ever had. “Needed that, sweet girl?” Harry cooed, hands snaking up your body. His face was covered in your juices, his lips glistening with your come. As you were about to pull him in for a kiss, he flipped you onto your front. “My turn now,” he drawled in your ear, pushing his boxers down his thighs. You heard the familiar snap of a condom before feeling the head of his cock nudging at your entrance. His hand landed a heavy blow on your asscheek before he peppered it with kisses. You were delirious already from the sheer thickness of just his tip. You pushed your hips up towards him fervently, ready to have your mind blown again. Harry pushed into you in one thrust, pulling your asscheeks apart to watch himself enter you. “Fuck Harry, you’re so big,” you whined, his huge cock splitting you in half. He pulled out slow, moaning as he watched himself re-enter your tight pussy. Your walls were clenched around him, pulling and pushing your come along his shaft. The sounds were obscene.
Harry reached around and gripped your throat, his free hand steadying himself on the bed behind you. He fucked into you fast, months of built up annoyance and rivalry shooting pleasure deep inside of you. His cock reached sweet spots you didn’t even know you had, you were full to the brim with him. “You feel so fucking good princess,” he groaned, leaning down to bite at your earlobe. “Fuck, Harry! Stay there, stay there, please,” you begged, the angle of his thick tip perfectly hitting your g-spot. He thrust into you faster and harder, fingers digging into the sides of your throat. Your moans were strained, the tightness sending a rush of blood into your head. Before you could even register it, you were coming again. Soaking his shaft in thick, creamy come. Harry watched it ooze out of you, settling at the base of his cock as you whined and squirmed underneath him. He’d never seen anything so sexy. His pace was slipping now, fucking your come back into you in a slower, sloppier fashion. Feeling your opening tighten around him as you came was too much for Harry to take. He cried your name as he came violently, legs shaking under him. Harry collapsed beside you, rubbing a hand over your lower back, after throwing the condom into the bin.
“Should we get some sleep now, sweet girl?” he asked, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. You were already snoring sweetly, exhausted after your two big climaxes.
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linkspooky · 7 months
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Hi I really love ur metas your jjk ones really made me appreciate the story even more. I was curious about ur analysis on why Gojo is important to Geto.
It's obvious as to why Geto is important to Gojo and how Geto effected him but I don't think it's talked about enough of the reversal
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That's a good observation anon, the story makes it less obvious what Geto needs Gojo for, while spending a long time lingering on the tragedy of Geto's loss and what the loss of his only real friend meant for Gojo.
I think part of this is because Geto is a character of deep self-reflection so a lot of his internal narration is about his feelings towards his self and thinking through his own ideals and what that means. Whereas Gojo doesn't really self reflect but he does observe other people. We don't know what Gojo's opinions on a lot of things are, but we know what Geto meant to him because he's much clearer on how he felt towards Geto. Geto's staring into himself trying to figure what he feels personally, Gojo is always staring at other people trying to figure out what they feel.
As for why Gojo means so much to Geto, it's important to remember that they are a duo. They're the same idiot in different fonts. Geto's a much more human character and we are inside his head more often so it's easy to forget that when they were young Geto had the same kind of god / superiority complex that Gojo did.
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Geto is associated with religious imagery over and over again, the same way that Gojo is associated with budhist ideals of enlightenment and escaping karma. They are both people who were in their teenage years more powerful than everyone around them, and because of that looked down on everyone.
Even Geto's stated ideals of "protecting the weak" come from a place of superiority. He still divides people mentally into the weak and the strong. The special ones and the common rabble. He sees people the same way Gojo does, he just believes that the strong like him and Gojo have a moral obligation to use their powers responsibly in service of others.
Geto's not more humble than Gojo. Their moral disagreement comes from how they should use the power they've been given, but they both feel that the power they have puts them in a position above other people.
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All of this to illustrate the fact that if Gojo felt isolated as a teenager because all the power he had made him feel lonely and unable to connect with others, then so Geto probably felt isolated in the same way too. They each found in each other someone they could finally call their equal. Because of it they gained someone they could be vulnerable around and someone they could trust to watch their back.
The things Geto does for Gojo (check on his feelings when no one else would, go out of his way to reassure him), Gojo does for Geto in return. It's not Geto always taking care of Goo it's a partnership between the two of them where they lean on each other.
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When Kuroi is kindapped and Geto immediately falls into a funk and starts to blame himself for his mistake, it's Gojo who reassures him by hurrying him along and telling him they need to focus on planning what they should do next. Gojo knows Geto well enough to know his tendency to get trapped in his own thoughts and gives him the kick in the pants he needs.
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In the same scene where Geto checks on Gojo's well-being to make sure he's not overusing his power, Gojo returns the sentiment by reassuring Geto not to worry about him because he won't push himself too hard and that he's not in this alone Geto's here too.
That's probably a big part of it for Geto. Yes, Geto tends to naturally slide into the caretaker role, watching out for Gojo and checking in on him but at the same time Geto probably likes that there is someone who needs him in that way. If Gojo's defined by his lack of connection with other people, Geto's defined by the way he goes out to make connections. It's nice to be needed as they say. The fact that someone as seemingly self-sufficient as Gojo not only relies on Geto a great deal, but lets Geto take care of him is probably a big part of their bond.
Which is probably why Gojo's awakening post Toji is a big part in why they started to grow apart from each other. If Geto likes to live in service to other people, and defines himself by his connection to others he probably interpreted Gojo no longer needing his support on missions and suddenly doing everything by himself as Gojo pulling away from him.
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I think a big part in Geto's downfall was the hit he took when one he was defeated by Toji someone without Jujutsu and too, Gojo suddenly became out of his reach. Gojo himself never said that they were no longer the strongest duo, or that they were no longer the strongest together it's all Geto. As I said Geto has as much of a god complex as Gojo does.
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He thought they were on the top together, and not only is he suddenly confronted with his own weakness at the exact same time Gojo's become so strong it appears on the surface that he no longer needs anyone's support, especially not Geto's.
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Nanami says it out loud, but Geto probably echoes the sentiment. If Gojo is now strong enough to handle every mission on his own then what need does he have for other sorcerers - and Geto in particular? Geto goes from feeling needed in a lot of ways by Gojo who was just as important a friend to him as he was to Gojo to watch Gojo suddenly handle everything alone. In a lot of ways it probably felt like Geto lost Gojo far before the KFC breakup and his defection from Jujutsu High. From Geto's perspective their relationship was over, their partnership broken and Gojo just did not realize it until after the village massacre.
At first Geto had as big of an ego with Gojo, and connected in a special way with him because the two of them were on top together. However, he came to believe that the only reason their partnerhsip worked was because they were both the strongest. When Gojo became the strongest alone Geto believed incorrectly that what they once had was lost and Gojo no longer needed him when Gojo's emotional reaction to Geto's defection shows that's anything but true.
In Geto's mind it is though because he's kind of got the same messed up way of dividing people into strong and weak that Gojo does, he probably just realized that he was one of the weak ones and feared Gojo thinking the same way.
During Geto and Gojo's final confrontation he almost has an inferiority complex about it when he talks about how if he had the limitless he'd easily be able to accomplish what he set out to do.
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Until that moment Geto always thought they were equals, but now Geto's suddenly talking like he covets Gojo's power. He suddenly wants to be Gojo, probably because he incorrectly believes that their partnership is base don being equals in power when it's really just a normal friendship.
Which is why the loss of Gojo's friendship affects Geto just as badly as the other way around. Everyone wants to be equals with their friends, especially to a friend as important as Gojo was to Geto.
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There's almost a tragic irony in how when speaking of his friendship to Nanako and Mimiko, Geto acts like their friendship ended when Gojo left Jujutsu High. It's their in his death scene too, Geto is surprised by the fact that Gojo has any feelings left for him.
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Geto's so insecure over his connection to Gojo he didn't understand that in Gojo's mind they were still friends right up until the very end, and perhaps if he were just a bit more secure they would have been able to reach one another instead of falling apart.
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punkeropercyjackson · 25 days
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The fact that Across the Spiderverse actually exists and is completely canon is making me go off the walls loco.What do you MEAN Miles Morales is an afrolatino boy who's Spiderman and has his own personality instead of just being Peter Parker with melanin slapped on and has a realistic afrolatino lifestyle and home life and is allowed to be soft without being made fun of or told he's 'acting white'.What do you MEAN Gwen's a trans girl who genuinely looks and acts transfem and has the exact interests and fashion taste many irl trans women do that i also relate to like them way more than i do cisgirls as a femme bigender black woman and got a 'protect trans kids' banner in her room and is Spiderwoman without being sexualized or misogynistic remarks thrown at her and is an abuse victim with ugly symptoms and trauma responses that are played as not her fault and redeemable instead of 'becoming her father'
What do you MEAN Jessica is a black woman who's her mom figure but also a character in her own right instead of her m@mmy and Gwen treats her well back and Margo's a darkskin black girl their age who Miles started crushing on sight on and has a bad home like Gwen does and is a huge gamer that's shown as cool and smart instead of lame and standing no chance with him against her and is gonna get way more screentime in Beyond as confirmed by the creators in the official artbook.What do you MEAN Hobie's a young black punk who's rowdy and disruptive and talks shit and is a huge weirdo and gendernonconforming and has justified violent tendencies and no actual positive adult figures in his life or interest in being 'normal',that he's exactly like i used to be when i was a kid,and this is all played as making him the coolest dude ever instead of a problem child.What do you MEAN Miles G is a vigilante instead of a strawman 'bad black trauma' vs 'good black trauma' sitch to Miles
What do you MEAN being an Anomaly isn't an end-all and that you deserve to exist just like everyone else does even if you weren't 'meant' to and you can be a hero too if you want to and just try your best and fuck everybody who tells you otherwise.What do you MEAN this also extends to love be it romantic or platonic and that the concept of 'soulmates by fate' is creepy and being doomed by the narrative just like i've always thought it was instead of 'pure and comforting' and that the real kind of soulmates is choosing to love someone on purpose in every universe you meet eachother,be it as your lovers or your best friends or even as found family.What do you MEAN-
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chawarin-panich · 7 months
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Ray's mother, music and the barriers to his heart that Sand must overcome
TW: discussion of suicide This is building upon the shorter meta I wrote here about the Micro song that plays during Ray's suicide scene. The parallels between Ray's arc in falling for Sand and Mew are so overt that I was completely overlooking the person that Sand is really up against in Ray's wounded heart and who, I believe Mew is ultimately a proxy for - his dead mother. I go into a little bit about how Sand's affection for Ray can sometimes read as familial here and I think it's quite readily noticeable how Ray acts very childlike around Sand with his puppy dog eyes and constant wheedling. One thing I do want to note is that Ray doesn't particularly come off as childlike in any of his other interactions either with his friends or in his conversation with P'Yo except for perhaps that first night when he got drunk and told his friends how much he loved them and during the suicide scene when he cries wrapped up in Mew's arms, distraught by how his mother never loved him. I think Ray is the epitome of someone with a deeply wounded inner child and the only way he can ask for love is as a child, somewhat helplessly and appealing to people's caretaker/protective nature. The parent child relationship between Sand and Ray comes up a few times through the episodes. The earliest explicit acknowledgement as far as I can tell is here at the end of episode 2:
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There's another explicit nod as to how their dynamic is set up within Sand performing acts of service for Ray in Ep 3:
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Sand says he has been Ray's driver, drinking buddy, shrink and chef. Three of those things - driving him around, cooking for him and providing him emotional support are not just familial activities but activities you would normally do for a young child. Sand pointedly leaves out that they've had sex from this list of services. And yes, that's because Sand doesn't view sex as a service and if it was just this then it would be hard to make the point that I'm trying to make which is that Sand needs to fulfill that parental attachment need that Ray craves; give him that type of no strings, unselfish kind of love before he will ever be able to gain Ray's trust enough to be able to build a romantic relationship with him. So how is the show making this point? That Sand is replacing not just Mew but Ray's dead mother in his heart? Well, let's start with the two things that Ray's mother has left him with: 1) music and 2) her alcoholism. Ray's friends were all very surprised when Ray volunteers to arrange the music for the party. While that was more about Ray's lack of interest in taking responsibility (His now in restrospect gut wrenching 'I'm only good for spending money' line from Ep1 like ouch) but it also indicates that none of them really know or connect with Ray over his music. How can they?
Music is such a deeply personal part of him, that's where he keeps the love he holds for his mother; the love that is entirely grief - painful in its vastness, beautiful in its consistency. And the first thing Sand tells him to do is be grateful for it - her good taste in music. The second thing? Is to show him how to enjoy it:
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The fact that he's taking his hand and Ray is half resisting it, the silliness of the gesture more than the touch itself but he's undeniably enjoying himself - It reads to me like the awkward, stilted movements of a childperson who doesn't know how to move their limbs when they're first being taught how to do something. And when you realize that the song that Ray plays for Sand in ep2 is the same one that is playing when he's taken the pills - the positive associations that Sand is making with Micro in Ray's life suddenly becomes monumental. This happens twice more in the show. Once, in the car when Sand ditches his date to drive them to Ray's house where they engage in a delightful flirtation around it, Ray singing badly while Sand eats it up complains about it
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And again, at the night of the party when Ray tells Sand to play Micro for him and Sand like the simp that he is serenades him with it:
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But their connection over music doesn't stop at teaching Ray to cherish and honor his past - and unknowingly the pains that are attached to it. No, Sand goes further to expand it, help Ray find a space for himself in music, carve a corner of it that isn't only pain, isn't only that moment of seeing his mother laid flat on that floor with a whiskey glass inches from her fingers.
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When music is such an integral part of Ray's personality how else does one interpret this scene other than Sand telling Ray to move on, when Sand plays Selina and Sirinya for him because finding new music he likes is Sand's happiness how else do I interpret it as anything other than Sand teaching Ray how to be happy? What am I supposed to do but pull out my own hair when they're connecting over music, looking at each other like this:
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And Sand will do it AGAIN - as the ep5 preview suggests - take Ray's hand and teach him how to enjoy contemporary music while Ray makes his awkward, adorable face where he's having fun in spite of himself. And the sheer amount of joy that Sand gets in seeing Ray like this is just - they're so insufferable:
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But perhaps the most surprising (and delightful!) of all is this:
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Ray taking his headphone off, interrupting this magical moment of being with Sand and the music, telling him he wants to be close to nature and drink beer - for the very first time Ray desires alcohol not as a means to destroy himself but as a vehicle of peace and of connection and I haven't been well since seeing it and understanding what it means. In many ways, Ray's mother is such a tragic character. I know nothing of this woman other than the three seconds I have seen of her dead and the frightful way she has driven her son to follow in her footsteps, to feel so unloved and unwanted. And yet she named him Ray Pakorn (pakorn meaning sun) - a ray of sunshine. Perhaps even, her ray of sunshine.
How can I truly believe that she never loved him?
I know Ray tells Mew that she never held him but he loves her so dearly, wants to be with her so desperately, she permeates every moment of his life so thoroughly that the loneliness she left behind isn't a gaping emptiness but the festering carcass of a love so profound and full to bursting that Ray keeps trying to give it away, keeps trying to love his friends, keeps trying to save them and aches in the way that he finds no recipient for it.
People wonder what Sand sees in Ray, why he would fall for him. But Ray is a creature made entirely of love, soft still in the way he lets it rule his life, innocent in the way that he asks for it, precious in the way that he gives it away - How can Sand be anything but desperately in love with him?
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creedslove · 8 months
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MEANT TO BE ❤️‍🔥- PART TWO
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No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: when Joel finds out even his brother is settling down, he decides to go after you and try to be happy with the woman of his dreams: you 💞
(This is the second part of the story MEANT TO BE ❤️‍🔥 )
Warnings: angst, sad!joel, arguments, love sick puppy!joel, fluff, happy ending, two stubborn idiots in love
A/N: Hi besties!! I know it took a little longer for this part to come out but here it is! I hope you all enjoy it and forgive me angsty besties but I cannot give our husband Joel a sad ending 🤧 he deserves to be happy!
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Joel knew jealousy was an ugly feeling, no matter the reason that caused it - if he felt jealous of his partner, or if he felt jealous of his things because he didn't like to share or when jealousy was just an euphemism for envy whenever someone got something he desired and couldn't have. It was a human feeling, he knew people were bound to feel that way and it was alright, as long as it didn't harm anyone, everybody eventually had one of these feelings here and there, as it was also popular knowledge we can't control our feelings.
Yet, he still felt pretty bad when he realized he was jealous of his brother, when Tommy broke the news to Joel he was going to be a dad.
Tommy was the kind of man who seemed to refuse to grow up, he was hard-working of course, no one could say anything at all about that, but when it came to his personal life, he acted like a thirty-something year old man child. Girlfriends would come and go, he often got himself into trouble, having to hide away or something, eventually fighting angry boyfriends and a husband or two when they found the younger Miller had his filthy hands on their women. Perhaps watching his older brother having to mature so young after getting his girlfriend pregnant, getting married just to be abandoned with a baby to raise on his own made Tommy feel the need to enjoy his life before shit got serious just like it happened to Joel, but a part of him knew that maybe he should be more like his older brother, more responsible with his love affairs, more committed to the girls he liked, just like Joel often thought that perhaps he should be the more like his younger brother, relax and enjoy life now that his daughter was in college, and Joel had more time to himself. Neither of them would admit it though.
Joel stared at his brother, who was sitting on the couch across from him. Resting his elbows on his thigh and face buried between hands, taking a deep breath before he could think of anything else to say.
Tommy was going to be a father. He'd found out about it the day before, when his girlfriend, Maria, came desperately to the small office downtown Joel had recently rented to be the headquarter of their construction business, a place where they could manage the red tape by storing documents, hiring someone to take phone calls and organize a working schedule. Joel is hardly ever there, he is usually out doing the actual business, but his little brother used to be there more frequently.
So he got pretty shocked when Maria barged in with a bunch of pregnancy tests - all positive plus another blood one. And in the blink of an eye, it seemed Tommy would have to become the responsible brother from that moment on.
"So what's your plan Tommy? You're gonna be a dad, are you even marrying the girl or what?"
"I-I was hoping to stick around with Maria for a few months…"
Joel snorted, he had let his brother 'stick around' for a few months just before he could get settled and that was when Sarah was in highschool.
"Yeah? And then what? When the kid is born, where are you putting the crib? In the garage? Cause we ain't got no space, Tommy!" Joel saw how Tommy's face fell, he felt angry because he knew his brother had potential, but god, it infuriated Joel when Tommy thought his older brother would be able to handle everything for him.
On the other hand, Tommy he'd been next to Joel all along through the most challenging task of raising his daughter, and even if his brother was laid-back, he had to help him.
The older Miller took a real long breath and looked at Tommy's scared eyes
"I'll help you Tommy"
Joel didn't remember the last time his brother hugged him, it was probably when they were kids, but Tommy did hug his older brother, so thankful to know his brother would offer him help.
"Hey bro…" Tommy said with a relieved smile, looking at Joel "you help me out and I help you out: Y/N is back in town for good… apparently she quit or was fired or whatever, and she's staying at her grandma's and she is working downtown… next to our office" he winked and left.
And that information was what made Joel's jealousy spike even more. He was jealous of his brother, because Joel was the one who wanted to become a father again, he wanted to have you come to him and break the news, he wanted you to be carrying his baby, having to move in together, get married and raise your baby Miller together. He wanted all of those things with you, because his heart ached for you, for your touch, especially for the past month, he couldn't simply get your visit out of his mind. He replayed that night over and over, thinking of what he could've done to make you stay, he'd been in love with you and that was no secret at all, but he'd made you go away because he thought he was doing the right thing for you. He thought that by making you chase after your dream, you'd be happier, because he always loved how intelligent and strong you were and how you would definitely reach your goals if nothing held you back. He just assumed you'd be better off without him, without being trapped in that normal, simple suburban life and maybe he was right, maybe you were better off, making money and working in a job you loved, but god knew he missed you, he craved you, your presence, your touch, the way he obsessively kept the watch you'd kinda gifted him on his wrist all the time, or how he found himself unable to throw away the delicate, colorful paper bag you'd brought in his cupcakes. Sometimes he thought he was going mad, but in reality, he was just broken hearted to have let his happiness escape like grains of sand through his fingers.
That night, Tommy decided to take Maria out for dinner, they were both over the moon to know Joel would help them for the next few months, allowing them to stay in the house. Whenever Sarah came to visit from college, then they'd have to rearrange some things, and his heart weighed in his chest to know you would've been the first one to assure Joel he was doing the right thing and that even if things were a little crowded in the house, your place in his bed would be there. Tommy had invited Joel to go with them, but he declined, he definitely didn't want to be a third wheel during such a special moment in his little brother's life and also the fact he wasn't just good company, Joel was upset and quiet, as he couldn't stop thinking about what Tommy had told him: you were back, for good.
That fed his silly heart with hopes, knowing you were back in town, no fancy job between the two of you and as much as he wanted you to succeed, if things didn't work professionally for whatever reason, maybe you could still be happy when it came to love? However, you hadn't got in touch with him, so maybe, it meant you didn't want him anymore? If that was the case, you wouldn't have showed up at his birthday, would you?
Joel had so many unanswered questions and he didn't want to be trapped inside his mind, so he gathered the courage he needed, grabbed his truck keys and decided to drive to your place. He was going to see you.
You helped your grandma get comfortable in bed and smiled at her, she was getting weaker each day and it was difficult to watch it without being able to do anything about it and pretend it isn't affecting you that much. You'd been back in town after being fired from your job and it felt kind of a relief if you were going to be honest with yourself. It paid well, but it also took away your mental health in the months you'd been away, combined with the heartbreak after your break up, you could say you had been through one of the worst times of your life. Not that things were great now that your grandmother had fallen ill, but at least you were home, you had found another job at a small publisher downtown, similar to the one you had, but the demands weren't as stressful and the environment wasn't toxic, which comforted you. The money wasn't as much, but you couldn't complain, and once you moved into your grandma's you were already saving up with rent, at the same time she would be assisted in case of an emergency. It broke your heart to know lately she'd been asking you a lot about Joel and also giving you the talk about the importance of finding love in life and not being alone, you knew deep inside it was because she feared dying before seeing you happy with someone she really hoped it would be Joel.
You placed the blanket over your grandmother and wished her a good night of sleep, but you felt her grip on your wrist before you could walk away.
"Have you talked to him?" She asked in her tired voice
"You mean Joel? No grandma, I haven't.. not since his birthday, at least… why?"
"Because you love each other and it's just stupid how the two of you try to deny it" she grunted "I just want you to be happy, and I know you will find happiness next to Joel, he's the right man for you.."
"Grandma I-" you frowned as you were cut off by the doorbell, finding it odd someone would show up at that hour but excused yourself, relieved to have a distraction and not having to discuss that subject with your grandmother.
You ran downstairs curious to see who would possibly be knocking and also getting ready to ditch them, when you opened the door and got surprised to find Joel standing there. He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck, looking visibly shy to be there
"Joel? Did something happen?" You asked worriedly and saw he shook his head
"Not really, I just want to talk to you… may I come in?" He asked politely but took a step further even before you could give him permission, so you just opened space and closed the door behind him, welcoming him into the living room and offering a place to sit, but he refused
"I need to talk to you, Y/N and I will get straight to the point: I love you, I always have and I'm sure I always will. Making you go away was a huge mistake, I thought I would do something good for you, I thought it would help you to leave me and get yourself a nice job, so you wouldn't be trapped with me, I want you to have the world, and I'll give you everything I can, even if you deserve more…"
"What the fuck are you talking about, Joel? You said yourself I was just an adventure to you and nothing else! You said you would never have a family with me, you told me you were just excited by the fact I was younger but you were tired of me" you immediately replied, you could feel the anger building up inside of you, how dare he break your heart, shatter it to pieces only to come back a few months later with a puppy face and say he wanted you back.
"That was all bullshit, you don't get that? I knew that if I just tried breaking up with you, you wouldn't take it, you're stubborn and fierce and you would have fought for us, so if you thought that maybe I didn't love you like you loved me, maybe you'd go after your dreams…"
"Who did you think you were to try and decide what was best for me? You thought I would've chosen money? What do you take me for? A snotty little rich girl? Fuck you Joel, you broke my heart, you treated me like shit and now you want to convince me I wasn't just some fuck for you?"
"I bought you a fucking ring, Y/N, a ring! I was ready to propose to you, what do you want to believe in me? Want me to get on my fucking knees and propose to you now? Because I can fucking do it!" He raised his voice, losing his temper with you. Joel often loved how fierce you were, but now was certainly not the occasion.
"Fuck you and your ring, Joel! I don't want either of you" you spat at him, angry tears pooling in your eyes at how disturbed the argument with him left you.
"W-what?" He asked after some time, it took him a few seconds for your words to sink in, his eyes were big and hopeful, and you hated yourself to see you were hurting him, at the same time you couldn't help a petty feeling take over your senses and the need of hurting him overshadowed you.
"You heard me, get out Joel. You and I are done, you said I was just an adventure to you, but maybe you were just an adventure to me, maybe I was just into the thrill of having the attention of an older guy and now the thrill is gone…"
You looked down ashamed to stare at him in the eyes, because you knew if you watched them fill with tears you'd get on your knees and beg him for forgiveness. Just like when Joel broke up with you and he turned his back waiting for you to leave, you did the same, incapable of facing him.
The man walked out the door defeated, Joel grew up in a time where he was taught men shouldn't cry, but goddamn it felt hard not to. He'd been crushed by your words, the woman he loved, and there it was: the rejection he thought wouldn't come. Joel had a box with an engagement ring in his pocket and a broken heart in his chest.
He was about to get inside his truck when he heard his name. At first he was sure it was just his mind playing tricks, but when he heard your voice calling him again, he turned around, blinking away his tears so you wouldn't see them and raised his eyebrow, wondering what you could possibly want. Another round of insults and humiliation? But instead, he was taken aback by your arms wrapping around his waist the moment you buried yourself into his chest. You clung to him as you sobbed, your grip tight around him, as you mumbled apologies and other things he couldn't quite comprehend. He looked down at you without moving for a few seconds, until he gave in and finally wrapped his arms around you too, holding you as tight as you held him.
He rubbed your back up and down and cooed at you, trying to get you to calm down.
"I-I'm so sorry Joel, I really am… I was horrible to you, I was so mean and cruel to you, I wanted to hurt you like you had hurt me, I didn't mean any of it" you said all at once without even managing to breathe.
He kept silent, watching your crying face and had an insight of what having a child with you would be like - a baby girl, who would have the same beautiful eyes glistening with tears whenever something bothered her.
His thumb went for your cheek, caressing it gently at the same time it wiped your tears.
"I understand if you don't want to forgive me, Joel, but I swear I didn't mean anything I said, you love me don't you?" You whispered as your hand stroked his face "I love you too Joel, you could never be just an adventure, you're the love of my life, I'm sure of it" You confessed, still feeling the guilt of hurting him stabbing you like a hundred knives.
You got on the tip of your toes and gently pecked his lips, your hands holding his face between your grip as his hands went for your hips, holding your body against his as he deepened the kiss. Joel was confused, he was upset, angry, relieved all of that mixed up, but above all, he was feeling hungry. Hungry for you.
You could've spent the whole night lost in his arms, feeling his lips against yours, having missed them so much, but eventually, you two broke the kiss. You watched the man with anxiety and anticipation, he was still silent and it was unnerving.
Joel placed his hand into his pocket and found the box, getting on his knees in front of you and displaying the ring he'd bought nearly a year ago. It wasn't expensive, it was all he could afford, but he knew that if you meant your apologies, if you meant your love words, you wouldn't care about it at all.
You, on the other hand, felt your heart skipping a beat the moment you saw Joel falling onto his knees right in front of you and showing you the ring. You didn't even understand why Joel kept saying it was a cheap ring, when in reality it was the most beautiful ring you'd ever seen, you gasped and bit your lips, unable to find any words.
"Marry me…" it wasn't a question, it was a plea, you could read it in his eyes, Joel needed you as much as you needed him.
"Yes, of course I'll marry you Joel" you told him, getting on your knees in front of him, kissing his lips and shaking softly, but being immediately engulfed in his arms.
Joel put the ring on your finger and you chuckled, kissing him again.
You two were meant to be and there was no way of fighting that.
_____
A/N: can Joel Miller propose to me right now please? 😭
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badcaseofcasey · 1 year
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Steddie Soulmate/Met as Kids AU - Part 2 Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7
a/n: I'm so blown away by the positive response to this - I'm still kind of a newbie to the steddie fic world. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you're enjoying this AU as much as I am!
Steve turned, looking for the source of the voice and finding a young kid with big brown eyes and a buzz cut, two sword-like sticks and a hopeful expression on his face.
“There aren’t any dragons here,” he said back, confused a bit by the other boy’s words and the sensation on his side.
“Sure there are!” The boy gestured at the air around them. “There can be dragons anywhere we decide there are - and I say there’s one coming out from the trees over there!”
Steve found himself instantly sucked into the other boy’s magnetic energy. Steve’s friends didn’t often want to play like this - they preferred sports to make believe - but Steve was ready to fight dragons wherever this boy said there were dragons.
Steve reached out a hand to take the stick sword that the other boy was offering him and smiled.
“What’s your name?”  the boy asked.
“Steve,” he replied, then remembered his mom’s lessons on etiquette. “And yours?” 
“I’m Sir Eddie!” he said. “And I dub you-” the boy tapped each of Steve's shoulders with his stick - "Sir Steve! Come on, let's go - the dragons are getting away!"
They spent the afternoon fighting imaginary dragons, protecting their imaginary villagers and defending the imaginary land they’d sworn to protect, until Steve’s nanny stood up and looked over at him for the first time since they arrived and announced it was time to be getting home.
“I have to go,” Steve said. “My parents are getting back tomorrow, so I have to make sure my room is clean.”
“Oh, okay,” Eddie said, shrugging his shoulders and looking sad to say goodbye. “Well, I had lots of fun - maybe we can play again tomorrow if my uncle says it’s okay!”
“That would be awesome,” Steve agreed enthusiastically. He couldn’t get enough of how fun it felt to be around this other boy who seemed to follow his imagination wherever it took him.
Of course, Steve never ended up seeing the boy at the park again. His parents were back in town, so his visits to the park had stopped for a while - at least until they left again. But he never forgot Sir Eddie or their afternoon of fighting dragons. When he got older and learned what the words on his ribs meant, he told exactly one person - his new nanny, a different one than the one that had been with him that day - but she quickly shut him down as soon as he started to tell her about the boy from the playground.
“Mr. Steve, this world isn’t always kind to boys who got their words from other boys,” she said in a hushed tone. “There's nothing wrong with it - but this is a secret you should keep to yourself, just between you and me, until you know it’s safe to share.”
Steve nodded seriously. This nanny was relatively new, but he trusted her - she had never gotten mad at him, not even when he had spilled the cup of water from his paints.
So he had kept it to himself, but he had also kept the memories of the other boy - his soulmate - safe. It was easier just to lie about it than to try and explain what had happened.
Until of course, Sir Eddie made his way back into his life - just as dramatically as he had the first time.
Part 3
taglist (let me know if you'd like to be added/removed!): @infinitetrashbag @vampireinthesun @swimmingbirdrunningrock @maya-custodios-dionach @thev01dd @obsessivlyme
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lilacwisps · 1 year
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Do you take headcanon requests? If yes, what would be the HL boys reactions when they get caught making out with MC?
To be honest, nonnie, I'm more of a fic girlie, but I could try 💜 These ones are for Ominis, Sebastian, and Garreth - if you'd like other characters, let me know.
Ominis: 
Ominis is not really into PDA - he'll hold hands with MC but won't do much more than that when others are around. For a make-out session with MC, he'd prefer somewhere discreet, like the Undercroft or some other not-so-public space at Hogwarts, where others cannot interrupt quite so easily. 
He definitely thinks that private moments are best enjoyed, well, privately. 
That is not to say that interruptions don't happen, at least sometimes - be that Sebastian bursting into the Undercroft at an inopportune moment or some other student or professor happening upon Ominis and MC when they are making out in some secret nook outside the Undercroft. 
Whenever that happens, Ominis is always quite irritated with the intruder - he is possessive of MC in a very protective sort of way and doesn't want anyone else to see her in such a delicate position. Especially because on occasion he gets too carried away, and a simple make-out session turns into...something more.
If a student happens upon them, Ominis will threaten them into silence - the last thing he needs is too many rumors spreading around the school. 
If it's a professor, he'll take responsibility and play at remorse, hoping they won't breathe a word of it to Professor Black. Otherwise, he'll inevitably be receiving a letter from his family. (A howler, most likely, if MC is half-blood or muggleborn, and a "we are meeting with her family to finalize your engagement, and no, fifteen is not too young to be engaged, your father and I were already married at that age" letter if she's a pure-blood).
Sebastian: 
Sebastian's quite the opposite in this respect - he loves PDA. Loves having his arm draped around MC's shoulders when they walk together, loves holding her hand when they sit next to each other, loves kissing at every chance he gets. And, if he were to be completely honest, loves leaving love bites on MC's skin for others to see.
He's possessive, too, but in a different sort of way - he needs everyone around him to know that MC is hisand his alone. 
The possibility of getting caught when doing something naughty thrills him to no end, so he will take any chance he gets to make out with MC in a public or a semi-public place. 
Anything that gets his blood rushing with adrenaline excites him in other ways as well. Sneaking around in the Restricted Section? Surely, he has a moment to kiss MC breathless right against the bookshelves. Hiding from the prefects in a broom closet? No time like now to have a make-out session and maybe go a little further unless, of course, they get caught too soon.<
Outside of the context of breaking the school rules, he'd make out with MC on the Grand Staircase or even in the Great Hall if she'd allowed it, and to hell with anyone who could see them. 
If a person who catches Sebastian and MC making out is a fellow student, Sebastian usually plays it cool, unless it's someone who he views to be a threat to his relationship - in which case, he'll definitely be taking a few liberties, just to make sure that that person knows that MC is his and his alone. 
If it's a professor, Sebastian relies on his charms to get out of trouble - but that doesn't always work. Still, he doesn't mind - it turns out making out with MC in detention in the few minutes that a professor is gone from the classroom to run some errand is just as exciting as making out in the Restricted Section. 
Garreth: 
Garreth is naturally super affectionate, so if MC is open to PDA, he'll be more than happy to hold her hand, hug her and, perhaps, even exchange small, chaste kisses around others. 
Definitely not the type to initiate a make-out session on the Grand Staircase - unless it's some kind of super emotional moment, like, for example, Gryffindor winning the Quidditch cup or MC accepting his marriage proposal - but isn't exactly against making out with MC in places that are a little less public. Like, for example, one of the dozens of empty classrooms in the castle. 
There's a risk of getting caught, of course, even in an empty classroom - but he cannot exactly be expected to think rationally when MC is kissing him like that. The moment the make-out session starts, all caution is thrown to the wind. 
Because of that, the interruptions happen much more often than Garreth would like. 
Definitely gets flustered when caught, but how flustered very much depends on who caught them. If it's a fellow student, Garreth shrugs it off pretty quickly. If it's a professor, Garreth will be trying to take sole responsibility for breaking the school's conduct because the last thing he wants is to get MC in trouble. 
If caught, his main concern is always MC - if she seems uneasy, he'll do whatever he can to make her comfortable again, but if she's indifferent to being caught in such a compromising position, he'll get over it pretty quickly. 
His greatest fear is probably being caught by his aunt because that will be invariably followed by two kinds of talks that Garreth really dreads - the "talk" talk and the "now that you've caused this young lady to be caught in a compromising situation, it's your responsibility to do the right thing and make an honest witch out of her" talk. 
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naomihatake · 8 months
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Nanami Kento headcanons #1
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Summary: random Nanami headcanons, general personality traits I observed and demeanor. I might elaborate later on some of those.
TW: none, I guess?
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︴He definitely has a hard shell. Genuinely, he has a stoic and low key shell rather than a cold one. He just seems unbothered and annoyed at the same time.
︴He's kinda sassy and blunt as fuck, but his comments are only for the best unless he's genuinely mad. He adores discipline and having plans for his next day, so he probably gets quite grumpy when it comes to unplanned things. Less grumpy when it's about a mission because he got used to how unexpected those are.
︴I see him as selfless. A bit too selfless even. He wouldn't let anyone die on his watch even if it costs his life (we're all crying about this one, I know)
︴I wonder if he has a hard time accepting his wrongdoings. And by that, I mean he has a hard time with himself rather than being unable of apologizing. I think he's very harsh on himself and he doesn't forgive himself easily. At the same time, I see him as someone who doesn't regret much. Those two sides of him depend on the context, most probably.
︴He cares more than he lets you see. And he's the type to believe in actions more than words and he follows that belief himself. He's the type to show more through actions than words and he tries his best to keep his promises. Is it even necessary to mention he doesn't make promises unless he's sure he can keep them?
︴His toxic trait is probably being so hard on himself he tends to avoid people thinking he's doing them a favor. However, I don't think this happens everytime. He has to go through really hard times and he doesn't forgive himself at all when he's on a mission with someone and they get badly injured.
︴He's honest. He's honest and very sincere and his bluntness probably makes him look cold, emotionless. He feels so much more than he lets be seen.
︴When he's close to someone, be it a friend or a partner, he's most likely softer. So much softer and his sincerity cannot only be heard, but seen on his features, in his eyes. He tries to mold his bluntness into positive criticism more, especially when it's about people he cares for, the ones he empathizes with.
︴He doesn't settle for less than he thinks he should receive because he gives everything, but he does feel guilty if shit goes down in any kind of relationship. He doesn't settle for less, but he doesn't wish for the moon either. It's kind of balanced, if you get what I mean?
︴If he's hurt, he tries to play it cool and take care of it by himself. He'd try to hide his pain, be it physical or emotional, but he wouldn't get mad if someone tries to help. He might say things that seem harsh, but if you'd look up at him as you help, he'd have such a soft gaze. He's genuinely grateful for help, even if he doesn't accept it at first.
︴He puts too much responsibility on his own shoulders, reason why he most probably doesn't want to become a sensei for young sorcerers. He'd burden himself with so much and he's sure there are people much better at this job, even if he can explain well. He's a good mentor, he'd be a great sensei. However, he swears up an down about how he wouldn't ever become a teacher.
︴He remains a kind person, despite what he seems to be. He's kind and if he'd get born into another life, he'd choose a universe without curses and the burdens he has to carry because of situations in the past he calls "mistakes". Once again, he puts so much on his own shoulders when no one asks him to. He's hard on others, but most importantly, he's hard on himself.
︴He's not optimistic or pessimistic most of the time. He's realistic and realism sometimes appears like pessimism to other people. He's able to read both the good and the bad part from a situation and to put into words. His way of talking/communicating makes it seem like it, but he's just realistic. He used to be very pessimistic as a teenager from what I gathered. He matured over the years and now sees everything from many other perspectives.
︴He's very good at communicating. If the conversation or the group of people he's with feels worth it, he definitely talks. And he's a smooth talker as well.
︴He doesn't let anyone walk over him. He'd be passive aggressive while also casually pointing out they're being an idiot. (I live for savage Nanami)
︴He hates when people disrespect others and ranks and the way sorcerers' grading is viewed is very annoying to him, most probably. In his eyes everyone has potential, in a way or another.
︴He's definitely sorry for the way those kids and teenagers have to just accept being sacrifices. And he'll protect them no matter what it takes because he's been there as well and he wishes he can give them better than what he's experienced as a young sorcerer.
︴"He returned to being a sorcerer from the life of a salaryman because he never felt truly appreciated and didn't believe his work had any significant impact on anyone. In contrast, work as a sorcerer allowed him to build up small bits of appreciation from innocent people. For Nanami, this was more than enough to allow him to live without regrets" — That's what Jujutsu Kaisen Wiki says about him and I couldn't find better words to explain this
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sangerie · 8 months
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(Kind of a long Sanji character study, but)
Something I don't think I've ever seen discussed (?) is how Sanji is afraid of men. Him saying he hates men and saying he loves women comes from a place of trauma and fear. And to be a man and become afraid of men really messes you up on a deep fucky level.
The only association he had with men before Zeff was his biological father and brothers, people who beat him for fun and neglected him--this was his introduction to what he thought masculinity looked like. Meanwhile, his mother and elder sister were soft and kind to him and accepted and praised his gentle nature--this was his introduction to femininity. "Masculinity is cruel and femininity is warm." was all he knew.
Later when he meets Zeff, he's understandably very closed-off and defensive. He's constantly trying to put on a brave face and show everyone that he's not afraid and trying to prove that he was strong and useful. If he's strong he won't be hurt and if he's useful he can't be thrown away again.
After meeting Zeff, he started to see what a less toxic form of masculinity could look like. There was still alot of old fashioned bickering and hitting involved, of course, so Sanji couldn't fully let his guard down enough to process his early childhood with Zeff. But even with all of the fighting, he knew that whatever Zeff did, it didn't come from the same place as Judge. 
Zeff was a manly man and he gave up his life and dreams in exchange for Sanji's. Something Sanji never thought was possible that another person would do for him. Zeff spent almost 3 months starving in silence with Sanji and gave him what little food he had so that Sanji might have a chance to live and fulfill the impossible dream they shared.
And even after Zeff retired his pirate career, he dedicated his new life to the task of becoming Sanji's father and to instilling good values in him so that he may grow up to be a good man. Nobody asked him to do this, but he did. This was Sanji's first positive relationship with an older man, albeit a little old fashioned and emotionally constipated. They went through hell and back together and Sanji learned everything about "being a man💪" in a traditional sense from Zeff. Sanji felt like he was given a new lease on life and could be reborn as somebody new. He could never meet Judge's standards for a perfect son but he'd be damned if he didn't dedicate everything to being Zeff's perfect son. He wouldn't be able to take it if he was thrown away again. So, what did he need to do to ensure he wouldn't be abandoned? Become more masculine like Zeff to suit Zeff's tastes.
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Sanji worked in a fast paced and hyper masculine environment serving endless potentially dangerous customers from a young age for years. To live at sea and survive, you needed to prove that you had the chops for it. Sanji's real inner nature is soft and gentle but because of his environment he started trying to immulate the new alternative masculinity he was being shown. Curses to tell someone to fuck off, loudly explodes into rage when someone makes him mad, smokes because it looks manly, wears a suit to complete the new persona all while oogling women like a sailor even in spite of Zeff's teachings. Because that's "just what real men do".
Throughout the whole story, Sanji is known to mirror others and match their energy at any given time. This is a trauma response so that he can blend in better and won't be hurt or abandoned again.
But inside, that's not what Sanji is really like. He's very traditionally feminine but inside a man's body with expectations of manliness in a manly environment that leaves no room for the softness in his truest nature. Meanwhile, he's also uncertain if anyone would even actually accept--let alone LIKE his truest nature as his mother once did. If Sanji were to have been softer and cried more, if he were to have shown his wounded side--would Zeff, or anyone for that matter, still accept him? He wasn't sure and that uncertainty was too scary to swallow.
He hadn't processed his trauma from childhood at all and was hoping that if he just ran faster and didn't think about it then it'd never catch him.
Enter Luffy. A short king who is younger than Sanji and is too damn goofy to lump him in with any other man that Sanji has met prior. Luffy is not your typical man by any means and it's clear that he poses 0 threat to Sanji. He's the first boy that Sanji had ever met close to his own age group that doesn't/would never beat the shit out of him. He stays and he listens to Sanji enthusiastically share his secret dream that he hardly utters a word about to anyone. A dream that he shut away in his heart thinking it wasn't something he could ever really have. An idealistic and impossible dream. But it's still his dream and it lights up his smile like nothing else. And then Luffy pulls him up and into the light saying his dream and his feelings mattered. Luffy was the first boy Sanji ever met that made him feel validated and safe. Like he could be himself, his truest self.
Luffy reaffirms further in WCI that Sanji was safe with him when he chose to not fight him in front of the Vinsmokes even when Sanji was one-sidedly beating him. Luffy instinctively understands what his crew needs spiritually as people so that they can continue to remain Free.
When Usopp needed to fight Luffy in Water 7, Luffy didn't want to fight him. But he did. And he didn't hold back because he knew that in spite of everything, Usopp felt like he NEEDED that fight to prove something to himself no matter the outcome. It was part of the process to uproot his inferiority complex and his hand was forced as the captain to make that call.
But in WCI, Luffy didn't fight Sanji, because that's not what Sanji Really Needed. If Luffy had fought him then and there, it would just have hurt Sanji further and confirmed a dormant irrational fear in Sanji's heart that he's not fully safe, not fully wanted. Not really. Not anywhere. So, he may as well stop running and drink the poison his biological family serves him because he's not safe no matter where he goes. He can get beaten anywhere, so it may as well be by the Vinsmokes. If anything, it hurts less when Judge or his brothers beat him because he never trusted them like that in the first place. He never knew safety in their arms. He never knew love from them. But he did from Luffy, so to be rejected by Luffy and to be punched by him at that time would have just been needless punishment on top of punishment. It wouldn't have changed anything except for make Sanji feel like he was rejected from yet another family he loved even more than the last family that rejected him.
Furthermore, Sanji only wanted Luffy to hit him then because he felt like a traitor and because he was cornered, trapped, felt guilty and responsible for halting everyone's fun adventure with his "family drama". He just wanted to be hit to confirm that fear was true so he could run away and to punish himself. As if getting hit in front of a crowd would automatically sever his ties from the crew and make them hate him and leave him by himself to carry it all alone because it was His Burden to bear.
But Luffy knew better and understood that he was just in pain and if he fought him like that, it would just break him more. Luffy not fighting him and starving himself was the most passive and loudest way possible he could reach Sanji and promise him that he IS wanted, needed and loved. That his ship was still home for Sanji. Complete with people that love and accept him weaknesses and all.
Luffy wasn't the only one starving himself in WCI, Sanji was too. He was starving himself from love. If Sanji wasn't going to eat, then Luffy wasn't going to either.
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And then there's Zoro. Somebody that Sanji was tepid with at best in the beginning. Now Zoro, unlike Luffy, IS very masculine. But now, it's a new 3rd type of masculinity he's never really seen before. And because it's so foreign, he doesn't know how to handle it. Judge and his brothers perpetuated toxic masculinity, Zeff was an old school masculine type so Zoro was an enigma to Sanji because he was neither of the two he'd known before. Zoro is a more stoic, stubborn and meat headed type that is at complete odds with both Sanji's true feminine nature and his suave facade. Sanji didn't even really start fighting with Zoro like he does now until Little Garden, he just kind of stayed away from him. Like, what IS that guys deal anyway? What makes that dude tick? Why does he always seem So Confident in everything? Sanji literally cannot figure it out for the life of him. All he knows, is that out of everyone else on the ship, Zoro makes him the most defensive and uncomfortable with himself.
It wasn't until Little Garden when they started having a pissing contest about who can catch a bigger beast that made them have their first classic Zoro and Sanji face off. It wasn't until Sanji's masculinity was thrown into question that he got so defensive and felt like he had something to prove. Sanji is constantly at war with Zoro trying to validate his masculinity.
And the actual reason why Zoro is pissed off by Sanji is because of how fake he acts most of the time and how defensive he is in tandem with how he treats women. Because Zoro ACTUALLY really respects women. Kuina beat his ass constantly and Zoro shaped his whole dream around fulfilling the dream she couldn't achieve anymore in her wake. Kuina also loathed being born a girl and lamented that it would make her a lesser swordsman by nature which Zoro didn't agree with. Zoro thinks women are just as capable as men and he lives by the philosophy that gender doesn't define your strength as a warrior.
Sanji, however, treats women very disrespectfully in Zoro's eyes. He doesn't treat them as equals and he lacks self control around them which seems uncouth and shameful to him. And Sanji does this all while denying his truest self, which is so aggravating to Zoro as someone who is so firmly set in his principals and comfortable with who he is. To Zoro, it's flat out cringe to watch Sanji act the way he acts.
And I bet you that if Sanji ever just...chilled out one day and became more attune with himself and didn't have such intense bias about gender then Zoro would stop butting heads with him as much and only mildly tease him like he would anyone else. Zoro doesn't even dislike Sanji as a person, he dislikes the fake bullshit about him.
Zoro sees Sanji deny his truest self everyday and Sanji is too proud and still has too much fear instilled in him to let go of the person he became in order to protect himself and survive.
Sanji also became that person because that's what he wanted to be for his mom. Alot of young boys whose mothers are victims of abuse will often fantasize about becoming a stronger man and being a prince that can protect her and take her away and save her. Deep down, Sanji wants to save all women from their burdens because he thinks they're ALL just victims of circumstance like his sister and mother were. That all women are innately softer, kinder and naturally more empathetic and even if they weren't being kind at the moment, it's just because hardships made them act that way. Reiju, Nami, Robin, Viola and Pudding are all wonderfully kind but they've all done bad things in order to survive. Sanji DEEPLY resonates with this and knowing these women have only reaffirmed beliefs he already held. He doesn't think women are weak per se, but he doesn't treat them as true equals, either. And he doesn't give men the same nuances he affords women that, they too, could also be a victims of unfortunate circumstances.
Meanwhile part of Sanji believes that a majority of men are just...scary and might be born evil. And that's why he struggles so hard with this duality.
He's fought his whole life to never become like his brothers and Judge but he truly believes that deep down inside there might be this dormant innate evil lurking underneath his skin. And one day, if he's not careful, it'll swallow him whole and change him into a monster. He thinks he might be evil just by being born a man.
When he says "I hate men" he means that he's scared of them. He's scared of himself, too. And he hates himself just for being born a man.
But that's why his relationship with Luffy and Zoro is specifically so important for his healing. Him being willing to leave his comfort zone and sail with Luffy and him putting his trust in Luffy's judgement for picking crewmates is huge for Sanji. He knows that as long as he's with Luffy, he'll never get hurt by the men he brings there. They'll mostly all be weirdos, sure, but they'll also be kind and dreamers like him. That's the only company Luffy keeps, after all.
Sanji only really lets down his walls the most with Luffy, Usopp and Chopper out of the Stawhat boys. They're all younger than him and he's more at ease playing with them and being himself. But when it comes to Zoro, the hyper-masculine competitive man whose his only age-peer, he gets defensive. But in spite the way he acts with him, his relationship with Zoro is actually really precious for him and plays a key role in his healing. Because when Sanji was younger, his brothers treated him like shit and beat the fuck out of him for fun. But Zoro wouldn't ever do that, Zoro is part of the Stawhats. Luffy chose him and Sanji trusts Luffy's judge of character. For all of Sanji's big talk, he knows Zoro has a kind spirit too. There's no way he doesn't know Zoro is actually a really cool guy but Sanji is too into his bratty piss contest routine with him to drop his walls at let it go at this point.
So, they play fight. A luxury he didn't get to enjoy with his brothers. He and Zoro enjoy an intimate bickering relationship akin to siblings. Sanji gets to play fight with Zoro without actually being hurt. He gets to argue with him and act out with him and be competitive with him in a safe environment. By being with Zoro, he's become close to an other man his age knowing he'll never need to flinch under his gaze. He trusts him.
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Sanji is learning slowly but surely that he can trust other men with his most sensitive and vulnerable self. That when somebody truly cares for you, that bond won't break so easily just because you're difficult and flawed. True family will never throw you away because you're a bit bratty or suicidal and self-loathing. By relying on Robin for help in Wano, he showed immense progress to how he views women, too. And he's learning that he's allowed to admit he has weaknesses and rely on others for help.
He's an incredibly slow-burn character with some deeply unsavory traits but at his core he's been growing throughout the series one healthy relationship at a time and I hope that by the end of the series he'll become a more emotionally whole person.
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black-aurora-nora · 1 year
Text
Irreplaceable Pt. 2 | Yandere!Avengers x Reader
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It'd been about three weeks since you'd had your life taken away from you.
You'd been living in the Avengers Tower seeing as you had no where else to go.
When you tried to call your parents the first week, Natasha was the one that decided to tell you that they'd been arrested by SHEILD for having relations with HYDRA.
You didn't believe her, but she was quick to bring you to their holding cells.
You and your parents both knew that it was the Avengers doing, but had no power or evidence to show it.
You'd wept for days after that.
Your ex-friends had really taken everything that had meaning to you.
And now, you were laying across one of the many luxury couches in one of the many common rooms of the tower.
You would much rather be in your room, but Tony made sure that Jarvis locked you out after 9 o'clock. He believed that forcing you out to hang with everyone would get you back to how you used to be. Or at least somewhere close to it.
Sooner or later, you would realize that all of this was for you.
Natasha was sat beside you, legs crossed with wireless earphones in, watching whatever on her phone.
There was always someone with you once you were forced out of your room. You barely got any time alone when you were awake.
Hell, you couldn't even get any time alone at night anymore. The anxiety from having your life taken from you made it impossible to sleep and Tony was quick to get you medicated to help out with that.
You still felt like shit either way.
Steve came strolling into the living area, bidding you both a good morning.
You gave no kind of response, staring forward at nothing in particular, wrapped up in a light blue, fleece blanket that you'd received as a gift from a friend when you'd first gotten ownership of the library.
"Hey, (Y/N), did you eat this morning?" Steve asked, at your lack of answer, he sighed exasperatingly, "Come on, (Y/N), you know that you have to eat. You'll never feel better if you just lay around all day."
Natasha began to stroke your head, trying to get you to pay attention but you quickly slapped her hand away and pushed yourself up into a sitting position.
"I'll never feel better. You guys can sit here and pretend that we're one big happy family, but I'm not playing." You started, voice shaky with anger and sadness, "You never supported me and abused your power to take away my life and made me dependent on you guys. And now you guys want me to be happy?"
Steve and Natasha only stared. Were they taking in your words? Who knows. You didn't care.
"No. I will not give you my happiness or my willing compliance. None of you deserve that part of me anymore."
"I have brought poptarts for Young (Y/N)!" Thor's boisterous voice boomed, a warm plate of freshly toastered poptarts in his hands for you both to share.
At the sullen atmosphere, Thor looked between his friends, "Am I interrupting something?"
"No, Thor. (Y/N)'s just a little hangry. Thanks for bringing the poptarts." Natasha answered for you, gesturing for the god to come over, "You guys eat while Steve and I go find the guys."
You watched the two leave and pushed the plates of poptarts away from your person, leaving Thor in the dust and hiding away in the bathroom, ignoring his calls for you.
You lowered yourself to the cool tile, gripping fistfuls of your hair.
Why?
Why did this have to happen to you?
Why did they do this to you?
You wished there was some way to get out of this, but... where would you even go?
You couldn't survive homelessness in New York. And it'd be increasingly hard to find a job now that you had a criminal record due to your 'friends' planting confidential information in your library.
And even if you did land a job, it wouldn't provide you with a livable wage. You'd be barely surviving.
And could you ever really escape the Avengers?
Though the better question was, could you survive playing family with them? You doubted they would ever grow tired of you.
They really made sure that you had no other choice.
A knock on the door jolted you from your spiraling mental, "(Y/N), what did I tell you about hiding in the bathroom?!" It was Tony, the one you hated the most.
You could feel something in your mind cracking again, somehow worse than when your library was taken. Everything was really starting to close in on you.
These bastards... these bastards really wanted you to be happy for them... like some kind of fucking dog they found abandoned in the freezing cold.
Tony knocked more and you could hear Bruce telling him to ease up, "You're gonna scare them. They'll open it when they're ready."
Oh, but you'd never be ready.
The knocking stopped and you continued to stay seated on the ground, staring at the tile and hands tightly gripping your hair.
Why couldn't they have just left you alone like you'd asked?
You were left alone to your spiraling thoughts, your breathing growing more and more intense. Your heart beat through your chest, screaming and riving to be let out.
Your vision was starting to go spotty. Nothing else mattered but how angry you were. All you could see was bright red.
A scream ripped from your throat, splattering the confined walls of the bathroom and spilling out through the crevices of the closed door.
Pain began to blossom on your head, but you didn't care. You were too angry to care about physical pain.
Why and what were you being punished for?
Why had these demons, calling themselves angels, from hell do everything they could in their power to knock you down to try and piece you back together?
What gave them the right?
Now you were on the bathroom floor losing your mind when you could've been helping a young woman find a good book to check out or having a bagel from across the street while you read at the counter.
"(Y/N)! Goddamnit! (Y/N), STOP!" Bruce was on your back, desperately trying to grab your hands.
You fought against him, screaming to be left alone but he didn't. He just kept your hands away from your head and instructed you to breathe.
Once your breathing was under control, you noticed that something was in your hands and slowly glanced over, whimpering when you'd noticed what you'd done.
Thick clumps of hair were gripped tightly in both your bloodied fists. And there were plenty more strands and clumps decorating the tiled floor around you accompanied by droplets of blood.
You tried to stand up but Bruce kept you on the ground and you growled, "Get off! Let me see!" You snapped, tears welling in your eyes.
"No!" He snapped back, "It's not bad... there's no need to look."
"You're a fucking liar." You sobbed, "All of you are liars!"
Once you'd wept yourself to sleep and had been put to bed early, the team decided to have a late night meeting.
Tony took a swig of his scotch. He rubbed a hand down his face. Everyone was silent, waiting for someone to speak up.
"Ok, they're not adjusting. I admit it." Tony spoke.
"Yeah, just like I'd warned." Natasha reminded coolly.
"We should've went about this more slowly. (Y/N) could've easily been coaxed to live here." Clint added, arms crossed.
Steve shook his head, "No, they loved that library way too much... worked too hard to get it. They never would've left that library for us."
Bruce tapped a finger against the table impatiently, "We have to do something. We can't carry on like everything's normal," He had a hard frown stuck on his face, "(Y/N) is not ok. We brought them here for their own good and they seem to be doing worse than ever."
They all went silent again. What were they going to do?
Natasha's eyes sparked and she looked over at Clint with a knowing gaze, "Clint, isn't there an agent with memory-altering abilities?"
Clint visibly brightened at that, "Agent Keller."
_______________________________________________
"(Y/N), it's time to wake up. Steve is almost finished making breakfast downstairs." JARVIS spoke calmly.
With a big stretch, you yawned and rolled out of bed. A dull throb throughout your head made it's presence known and you winced slightly, making your way to the common area.
"Hey, everybody!" You called out.
"(Y/N)!" Steve greeted, "You made it just in time. I just finished the banana pancakes, you want any eggs and bacon before they get taken?" He asked.
You shrugged, nodding tiredly, "Yeah, I'll have some."
Everyone began to make their way to the table, plates stacked with food.
Tony was the last to arrive, smiling at you carefully, "How's your head feeling?"
You smiled back, a fond smile, "A little sore... but the medicine you gave me is making it manageable."
Clint nodded at that, "Yeah, having your hair ripped off by a beggar will do that." He teased.
You chuckled back, "Yeah... also... I had a crazy ass dream last night. I was a bookkeeper with a whole book store. A bookkeeper, can you guys believe that?" You ate a bite of eggs with a thoughtful gaze, "But... it was so nice."
Natasha hummed at that, her chin resting in her hand as she stared at you quizzingly, "But not as nice as being here with us, right?"
You shook your head, "No, I suppose not."
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warden-melli · 4 months
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AGREED WITH UR TAGS. their friendship and relationship is so interesting because there's like. a LOT to it i think. i think its interesting in showing irida's flaws as a leader until she's able to learn a bit more about it and how to forge her own path but palina's response is also very interesting and it kinda makes me wonder about her response to the events, not just irida's pleading for her to train growlithe but to irida becoming the leader. and also like, what happens after they make up, that kind of thing.
some people interpret it as them just never getting along again, but i do like to think they eventually make up again, despite palina giving her a bit of tough love during the player's second visit to firespit island and the whole heatran thing. also irida seems like she wants to be on good terms with them again, so i do think they make up again, but just thinking about their friendship with one another (and how someone in the pearl clan suggests that due to irida having a dead mother when she was young, palina is someone she's very close to) is like. very interesting and i like it. sorry for the wall of text i have many thoughts about All Things Irida
Agreed their friendship is so interesting and I just keep thinking about it. I agree that Irida had a lot to learn about being a leader at the start of the game (as did Adaman), but even so I feel like Palina was a bit unfair to Irida, and I personally feel like their conflict is based on jealousy over Irida being selected as leader over Palina, and also Irida not wanting to accept that the nature of their relationship has changed as opposed to Irida’s shortcomings as leader
Like, we know that the two used to be super close, with Irida considering Palina to be an older sister that she clearly looked up to. We also know that the two competed to be leader of their clan, and that Irida was ultimately the one selected to be leader
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I do understand Palina’s disappointment. It has to hurt to try really hard, but fail to achieve a position that you really, really wanted. Especially if you lost to somebody younger that you, and who you served as a mentor figure for. It may also hurt more after the incident with Lord Arcanine sr, as the trauma of the event may may have made her feel like she also failed in her duties as warden. I think it’s evident that Palina despite scolding Irida for acting as if their positions haven’t changed, still sees Irida as her little sister first, and doesn’t truly respect her as leader
I keep coming back to this dialogue - It really makes me think that this may have been a deciding factor in why Irida was selected as leader over Palina, and she’s clearly still very upset and bitter about it
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I don’t like how quick Palina was to embarrass Irida in front of both the player and Iscan, especially after Irida challenged her by attempting to lay down boundaries as leader. Palina claims to know and accept that Irida is the leader, yet scolding her in front of everyone like she’s a child isn’t a good way to show it. I also get that she doesn’t want to be called that nickname anymore, but I don’t think Irida is doing it maliciously at all. It genuinely seems to be a force of habit, but even still Palina has requested she stop, so she really does need to work on that. In saying that though, I don’t think that Palina rejects the use of that nickname because she genuinely doesn’t like it anymore, but as a way to push Irida away, and to reestablish their relationship as a purely business one as a way of coping with her failure to become leader. I think Irida is confused, and having trouble coming to terms with the fact that things have changed between them after becoming leader, and she’s stressed and just wants her big sister.
I also keep thinking about how much this differs from Adaman’s relationship with his older sister figure, and of how opposite these two’s relationship is compared to Irida and Palina’s.
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Mai (as seen in this offical art) happily teaches Adaman to play the flute (despite him being absolutely awful at it - another direct opposite of Irida), and throughout the story happily performs tasks for him, and advising him without question. This contrasts Irida and Palina’s relationship where Palina is the one less talented with the flute, and who pushes back against Irida’s requests (growlithe), and who sees any requests for guidance as a personal failure as leader.
I could keep talking, and there’s so so much more to the relationship, and feud between these two, but I really think the biggest conflict between them isn’t the direction, or lack of experience of Irida’s leadership, but the fact that Irida is leader and Palina is not. Another important factor I didn’t even touch on was Palina and Iscan’s relationship, one forced to be kept secret due to the two Clans feud, and how Irida’s position as leader of that Clan may further complicate their relationship
The saddest part of all of this to me however is it’s kind of implied that Irida had no great ambition of becoming leader, and it can be interpreted that she may have only competed to be leader because Palina was doing it, or because the two share a love for their people that may have been encouraged by Palina in Irida in the first place
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Despite Palina’s concerns about Irida’s leadership, Irida is is nothing but loyal and defensive of Palina. Even with Palina’s behaviour and her reputation as warden plummeting due to refusing to train Growlithe, and no matter what people may say about her, Irida only ever speaks highly, lovingly and respectfully of her, even when Palina doesn’t extend the same grace
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Despite their feud (which feels mostly one sided to me) their relationship started from a genuine place of friendship, so I truly would like to believe that the two of them could work through their issues and one day become friends, sisters, again.
Sorry for my own wall of text but my respect for Irida incurable and I have so so many thoughts about the girl ;.;
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inchidentally · 3 months
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It wasn't me who started crying when I read that Lando and Oscar would one day stop being teammates. This is a strange feeling my body went through. Why did I cry? Why? Oh my God! I don't think I want to experience that.
oh babe trust and believe we're all ???? at how much Lando and Oscar as teammates has hit us it's wilddd <3 they've done absolutely nothing performative or loud but apparently massive amounts of mutual respect is the absolute best drug out there for us.
(under a cut to keep out of teams' tags)
considering how evenly matched Lando and Oscar have been this season and Lando saying over and over again how Oscar has pushed him to be better I'd say we have one of the fairest shots of them deciding to stick together at McLaren beyond 2025 as anyone on the grid apart from Charles and Carlos. I only don't put Lewis and George in there bc no one but Lewis knows how long he's going to stay in F1 and their bond is primarily professional. they like each other for sure but they're in very different positions in their careers to say the least.
but Charles and Carlos are a really good example of two drivers who've found an incredibly solid bond and mutual respect riding out extremely tough times and wildly varying fortunes. the fact that both of them are equally eager to remain with Ferrari in spite of everything is at least in some part because they know their relationship will never become one of the things hindering either of their careers. there have been plenty of moments where outright rivalry or preferential treatment could have altered their dynamic but it never has. they see each other as totally unique drivers with very different careers and can keep all of that rivalry drama out of it (including Carlos' gd family doing their best to try create it w the help of shit stirring fans). Charles and Carlos fully expect the other to fight for the championship as much as the other will but there's no existing history or personal pettiness to muddy that into a problem.
and while it's a totally different dynamic, that's exactly the kind of 'mutual respect above all' type relationship we can see with Lando and Oscar. and to me the fact that Oscar spent at least the previous 8 years getting to know Lando from a distance, plus the fact that Lando has always been so open about his mentality and his mental state, is so specifically helpful to their dynamic. especially because they're so close in age and Lando not being the type to wield his F1 experience over someone else or get all cocky about it. and I think that's specifically in response to how much Oscar chose to let Lando be at the forefront of visibility and demonstrably positioning Lando as The Star. I would NEVER have imagined that Lando would respond so positively and supportively to a rookie teammate winning a sprint win before him. I don't mean that I think he would've been a jerk or petulant, I mean that my expectation was for that win to become a permanent wedge mentally between Lando and Oscar. but nope, he genuinely actively warmed more to Oscar even more after that <3
good god I cannot shut UP but what I'm saying here anon is that we should honestly just not bother thinking about the end of 2025. there's as much likelihood that Lando and Oscar will look at RB and Mercedes and think nah I'm better off here at McLaren as there is either of them going elsewhere. bc driving Max's car or dealing w Toto could easily not be worth it - esp since McLaren seem to have a steadier upward trajectory than say, Aston Marton (so much would have to change for AM to be a forward career move for Lando or Oscar).
quick fic side note but I'm absolutely dying to have the time cleared to read Superdense Neutron Star/Post Supernova bc god I can tell that fic is going to live with me
but the easy, non-compromising relationship they've already formed considering that they're both young and hungry is SUCH a strong pull for staying together at McLaren. Oscar is happy for Lando to be whoever he needs to be and that means Lando will only get higher and higher in the rankings. Lando has responded to Oscar's deference off the track by giving him praise and respect that means any of Oscar's currently unknown to us but inevitable insecurities are taken care of. while no one can say what will happen we can at least say that we've got the best setup for them staying together!
there's also of course the obvious: Lando being so deeply embedded at McLaren and getting star treatment that he wouldn't get anywhere else - and the fact that Oscar took a massive gamble to get to McLaren and has been watching Lando's career so closely for so long. sometimes a career can take so many unfair hits that someone like Alex Albon finds at least temporary stability with a Williams but hope to move on. sometimes a driver can be shrewd and organized enough to get themselves into exactly the right spot like Carlos with Ferrari but he doesn't have complete security. but sometimes it's entirely possible that a young up and comer (or two) finds exactly the right fit from the start of their F1 career and succeeds for years and years!
and looking even further ahead to when they're both closing in on like 30 everything in F1 will be so different that I can't even fathom it so I'm just choosing to not bother! it's like how I see ppl in IG comments saying they hope Oscar marries Lily and I'm like ??? I just see married ppl as SOOOO different to college age that I don't know how people can make those leaps but maybe I'm just super immature lagfljafjh
side side note that while I'm absolutely positive Max and Lando would be horrific in every sense imaginable for Lando, I do occasionally enjoy imagining Oscar there at some point simply bc he's the only driver I can imagine giving RB pause. he's so smart and adaptable that he'd fucking dominate immediately in that car and they'd be braindead to not think hmmmm, this guy is (for example) only 25 and Max is almost 30 - maybe we should let Oscar choose a few specs for himself and see what happens. he could match Max in car smarts, focus and ambition but oooops he also has a sense of calm under stress that Max will never have. Max could openly despise him and it wouldn't affect Oscar's performance at all. and oohhhh to have Oscar be the one to topple the ivory tower nepotism at RB with a nailbiter of a WDC decision in the final race? to see what Max does in response to that? to have Alpine fanboys throwing chicken tendies at the wall watching Oscar's podium where he's also celebrating the championship? ohhhh fuck that's a tantalizing thought.
SORRY lol I really do not see that happening I just find that image so fucking hot. I don't actually want to see Oscar having to deal with RB in reality.
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