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hp-rarepair-requests · 1 month

Note

Oops! I realised that I had to be more specific

- Augurlight (Delphi x Albus)

- Muggle au

- Abusive relationship

-Albus realizing that Delphi was grooming him (Flashbacks would be nice if possible)

All good! I can absolutely do that!

Augurlight Oneshot

TW/CW: Grooming, Child Predation and CSA

Albus sat in his bedroom, curtains closed, headphones blasting, homework unfinished, and food left to go cold. He wasn’t really sure what day it was, or what time it was, but he really didn’t care. He couldn’t explain the depression he had fallen into. Or maybe he could and he just didn’t want to admit it.

“Come on, Dad! Please!” Albus begged.

“For the hundredth time Albus, no,” his father refused him yet again. “You need to finish school.”

“Come on! The kids are mean!” Albus whined. “I passed all the necessary exams for finishing school, I have a job, I can start working more hours and even pay board!”

“I don’t care Albus, you need to complete your education,” his father tried to keep a hushed voice as they browsed the shop, looking for a specific CD for Lily’s upcoming birthday. “I’m not letting you drop out just to chase some fantasy.”

“This isn’t about music—“

“Then what is it about?”

“It’s about not having to go back to that shithole of a school!”

“Watch your language!” His father scolded. “I can’t find it. Stay here while I talk to that worker over there.”

Albus groaned and slumped against the shelf of CD’s. He was sick of that high school. Hogwarts was shit, and any wayward misfit with half a brain knew to stay far away from the preppy shitheads that wore the maroon and blue uniform. He was so sick of his classmates constantly bullying him, and he wasn’t even learning anything he could use in the career he wanted. They’d bloody cut the Music Program, the whole reason he’d even been trying to stay well enough behaved to avoid expulsion.

“Hey,” Albus turned to see a worker, with silver and blue hair and thick eyeliner. “Delphi. I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with your Dad?”

“Oh, that,” Albus shuffled. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, happens a lot,” Delphi smiled. “Hogwarts uniform?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t sue you for breathing,” Albus answered. “Not unless you breathe too loudly.”

“I’ll try not to. We get a lot of your classmates in here. Usually they’re upset that their Dad’s aren’t buying something super expensive for them.”

“Nah, I’ve got a different kind of dysfunctional family.”

“I can tell,” Delphi plucked something from Albus’ face and he felt it heat up. “Eyelash. Sorry about your Dad. Sucks when your parents don’t believe in you.”

“Well, I don’t know if he doesn’t believe in me,” Albus cleared his throat. “He just … he’s an adult, he probably knows better.”

“I don’t know,” Delphi knocked Albus’ shoulder. “You didn’t start singing the lyrics to Emo Girl when you saw me. Makes you much more mature than some of the other kids your age. It’s also not that hard to enter the music scene. I would know, my band The Augurey are doing pretty well.”

Delphi walked away as Albus saw his father approaching, Lily’s gift in hand.

Albus rubbed his eyes and took his earphones out. There had been a light tapping at his door, and when he pulled it open he saw his younger sister. Lily was in her soccer uniform, with dirt on her shins. She’d just got back from practice, it was afternoon.

“Just figured I’d let you know we won,” Lily grumbled. “Not that you even cared to show up.”

“Won what?” Albus asked.

“The game. The Liverpool Griffins are moving onto the semifinals.”

“You had an actual game today?”

“Yes, and you promised you’d come to this one!” Lily crossed her arms. “You’ve become a real jerk these holidays.”

“Oh my God. Lily I am so sorry. I completely forgot.”

“Yeah, I know! Couldn’t even get out of bed to say goodbye this morning.”

Lily turned and began to storm off.

“Lily wait!” Albus followed her. “I don’t even know what day it was.”

“Save it, Albus,” Lily shook her head. “I would invite you to the next one but I doubt you’d show up. Dad’s making soup for dinner, maybe you can show up for that?”

Lily slammed her bedroom door shut and Albus felt lost. How could he forget something as important as Lily’s game? It was the first one where he wouldn’t be too busy working at The Three Broomsticks to go! He’d promised to go! He hadn’t been able to go to any of her other games that year and she missed his support in the stands. And he missed cheering her on from the crowds. How could he forget something as important as that?

“Well, well, well, we meet again,” Albus looked up in shock to see none other than Delphi. “Studying for a test?”

“Algebra,” Albus informed her.

“God, what year?”

“Year ten.”

“Yikes,” Delphi hissed in sympathy. “So your doing all that expand and simplify bullshit with the brackets.”

“Yep,” Albus sighed. “Although, it looks more like hieroglyphics to me.”

Delphi giggled. “You’re funny. What was your name?”

“Albus,” he answered, blushing at the compliment. “I work at The Three Broomsticks just down there.”

“Oh sick, my band is performing a gig there this Friday night.”

“I’m working this Friday night.”

“Oh, so you’re getting paid to see The Augurey live. Now that’s an honour.”

Albus laughed. “What instrument do you play?”

“I’m all vocals,” Delphi clarified. “What about you?”

“Oh um, I used to do the music program at my school before they cut it,” Albus fiddled with his pencil, feeling suddenly shy under Delphi’s piercing brown eyes. “Guitar, bass, drums, piano, little bit of vocals.”

“Oh, so you are literally just a one man band?”

Albus laughed to the point of smiling very brightly. “I guess you could call me that. If you can call a fourteen year old with no released songs a one man band.”

“You’ll be a one man band eventually,” Delphi ruffled his hair. “I have faith in you.”

Albus closed his bedroom door and pulled out his phone. A notification popped up and he bit his lip. The Augurey’s social media. They’d posted something new.

Albus opened the app and saw the pictures. Delphi smiling with the rest of her bandmates. Pictures from whatever event they were at now. Pictures he couldn’t help but stare at. Especially the last one. The picture was technically of Rascal and Vermyn, the bassist and guitarist, but Albus was focused on the background. Delphi with some guys tongue shoved down her throat.

Albus hadn’t learnt this guys name. He appeared in many pictures. Sometimes he was even in the foreground. But Albus hadn’t learnt his name. Didn’t want to. He just wanted to know why Delphi would lead him on the way she did.

Albus was left to close up close up the restaurant while his manager, Rosmerta, went over the employee schedules for the next week. He found he quite enjoyed The Augurey’s live performance that night. He’d hoped to speak to Delphi at some point, but he was stuck as the dishwasher for most of the night, but the few times he had been out cleaning tables he could of sworn she’d been looking at him. He was pretty certain she’d even winked at him at some point.

“Hey Albus!” He jumped when Delphi came up behind him. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“Yeah, you guys are really good. You have a very good voice.”

“Thank you,” Delphi smiled brightly and touched Albus’ cheek. “You lose a lot of eyelashes. So, are your parents here to pick you up?”

“No, I was going to catch the bus home.”

“You’re kidding?” Delphi’s jaw dropped even further when Albus shook his head. “You can’t catch the bus home at this time of night! There are creeps and weirdos out there.”

“Aside from the creepy weirdo I’m talking to now?” Albus asked, wiping the last corner of the bench down. “It’s fine, I do it all the time.”

“It’s not fine!” Delphi sighed. “How about I drive you home?”

“What?”

“Come on! I won’t be able to sleep tonight if I don’t mKe sure you get home safe.”

Albus felt his face heat up at that. He supposed a car ride with Delphi wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen. “Alright, I can give you the directions.”

“Great! Let’s go.”

Albus let out a nervous breath as he followed her to her car, locking the shop door behind himself. She drove a second hand car, small and inexpensive, but the inside was decorated with plenty of gothic delights. He got into the passenger seat and told her where to go.

“So, you hate Hogwarts I take it?”

“Uh, yeah,” Albus shook his head. “Bit of an understatement really. I get bullied. Really badly. And the teachers don’t do shit about it.”

“I feel that,” Delphi sighed. “Wish there was something I could do to help.”

“It’s alright,” Albus chewed on his lip. “My house is that one.”

Delphi pulled into the driveway. “Damn, you’re families loaded.”

“Yeah, we are.”

Albus went to get out of the car but Delphi grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

“What are you—“

“My phone number,” she wrote the digits onto his palm. “Message me next time you have work late. I don’t like the thought of you catching the bus this late at night.”

“Oh,” Albus swallowed. He had her number, that was fun. And really nice of her to be so worried for his well-being.

Delphi caressed his cheek and rested her hand on his face. “Eyelash. I’ll see you later.”

“See you later.”

Albus threw his phone to the floor and curled up in his blanket. He really shouldn’t have been surprised. She was pretty, she was semi-famous, she was older. And they weren’t exactly on good terms at the moment either. Of course something like this would have happened.

He wanted to curl into such a small little ball it was like he didn’t exist. No one could hurt him or lead him on that way. People wouldn’t even be able to look at him, let alone talk to him.

“Albus,” he groaned when he heard his fathers voice just outside his door. “Dinners ready.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Come on, you haven’t had dinner with us in a week,” his father answered. “I’m starting to get a little worried.”

“I’m fine.”

“Well, if you’re fine you come down to dinner. Come on, get up.”

Albus groaned, and crawled out of bed again. Why him? Why that day?

Albus walked out of admin with his letter, supposedly his aunt Hermione was there to pick him up for an appointment he hadn’t even known about. God, his time management skills could really use some work.

As Albus left the school gates he noticed a familiar beat up car. It didn’t belong to his aunt, her car was certainly not beat up, but it did belong to someone else he knew. Someone he was much more excited to see.

“Oh my God, you did not just get me out of school.”

“Hey,” Delphi shrugged. “I told you I wanted to do something to help. Come on, we’re going to the beach.”

“The beach? Are there even any good beaches nearby?”

“Of course there are! You just need to know where to look!”

Albus smiled brightly and got into the car with her. He hadn’t properly skipped school like this in a long time, it was exhilarating.

“Alright Eyelashes, let’s go.”

Albus came down the stairs to see the rest of his family had already started eating their soup. He approached the counter and filled up his bowl. Pumpkin soup. He plonked down at the table, feeling much like the rain that poured outside the window.

“Hoods off at the table, Albus.”

Albus groaned at his mothers words, and yanked the hood from his head before continuing to eat.

“So as I was saying, it’s a very delicate and difficult case,” his father complained about work. “Grooming is a very difficult crime to prove. Our evidence is circumstantial at best.”

Albus ripped a piece of bread and dipped it into his loaf.

“I mean, how am I even supposed to prove he did this? It’s not like he ever actually hurt her, just made it so he could.”

“What?” That confused Albus.

“What’s confusing you?”

“How could he have groomed her if he never hurt her?”

“Grooming is the process of creating an environment which enables abuse,” his father clarified. “A very common misconception people have is that you have to actually h physically hurt someone.”

“Oh.”

Albus flopped down onto his towel, and let the rare sunshine beat down on him, giving him a much needed tan. Delphi soon after joined him, and he tried not to look at her too much. He really should have realised that the beach entailed a certain amount of vulnerability.

“That was fun, but I think I might have to take you back to school soon.”

Albus groaned very loudly. “Please don’t.”

“What do you want me to do?” Delphi sat up. “Hold you captive here forever?”

Albus jumped when Delphi pounced on him and they began to wrestle in the sand. His leg was only slightly tangled in his towel by the time she managed to get on top of him. Oh goodness, this was a very compromising position. He only hoped she didn’t do anything to uh … provoke him, we’ll say.

“You’ve got another eyelash,” Delphi’s fingers danced across Albus face as she wiped the stray hair away.

“I swear I didn’t used to lose eyelashes this regularly,” Albus sighed, hoping to get her off from on top of him. This was not something he felt ready to deal with.

“Sure,” Delphi’s face seemed to move impossibly closer, and her breath grazed over Albus’ lips. All he’d have to do is move slightly and they’d practically be snogging.

“We should go,” Delphi got up and put her shirt back on over the top of her bikini. “Your parents will surely be mad if you aren’t home in time.”

Albus finished his soup and climbed the stairs before anyone could stop him. He needed some space. Desperately.

Albus opened his laptop and stared at the search engine for a moment. He began to chew on his nails, feeling his stomach roil with the unasked question still lingering in his head. What was he even supposed to do in this type of situation? What was he even supposed to look up?

He swallowed and quickly typed up his question before staring at it. The fact that he even felt the need to ask felt a bit like a confirmation, but he couldn’t be certain. He pressed enter.

How do you know if you’ve been groomed?

“What’s this?” Albus asked.

“It’s a birthday present,” Delphi answered.

“My birthday is in October.”

“Just open it.”

Albus smiled before tearing into the gift Delphi had gotten for him. He pulled open the box and inside there was nothing more than a business card. Riddle Studios?

“I may have pulled some strings with my manager,” Delphi clarified. “They’re going to let you record one song, and if they like it and it performs well they might take you on.”

“You’re joking.”

“No joke.”

“Oh my God! Delphi!” Albus got up. “Thank you so much! God, I could kiss you!”

“What?”

“What? Um … not actually kiss you. Just — you know it’s an expression.”

“Right,” Delphi nodded. “Well, I’ll pick you up on Saturday and drive you there.”

“Yeah,” Albus nodded excitedly.

“See you,” Delphi left a peck on Albus’ cheek before walking away.

Grooming is the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, which would enable you to sexually assault them or persuade them to commit some type of crime, such as drug dealing or joining a terrorist organisation.

Albus wasn’t sure that exactly applied to him. He’d been a child, he was a child, but … he didn’t — he didn’t know.

A groomed child may think they are: in a special relationship with the person hurting them, experience self-blame over the the abuse they are experiencing, be confused by the nature of the relationship, and have a fear of harmed or abandoned if they speak out or defy their groomer.

Albus had initiated it, but he immediately regretted it. It was stupid really. To think someone as amazing as Delphi might return his feelings. As soon as he’d kissed her he felt like he’d made some horrible mistake and that he needed to run as far away as humanly possible. Something about it just felt innately wrong. Like he’d done something he really shouldn’t have.

“I am so sorry,” Albus stepped back. “I should go. That was — sorry!”

“Albus! It’s fine,” Delphi stopped him from running away. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

Delphi pulled Albus in and this time their kiss was much more of a mutual experience. And it was nice. He’d never really kissed anyone before, so he hoped he was doing it right. Delphi was definitely much more experienced in that regard. And it showed. Delphi was very good at kissing, Albus found.

Well, that just didn’t apply to Albus. Right? There was no abuse to feel any guilt or self-blame over. There couldn’t be. Could there? He tried to think. Had Delphi at any point actually abused him? Sure, technically she didn’t need to abuse him for it to be grooming, but there wasn’t anything to blame himself for. Was there?

He’d admit, he had felt special, he had been a little confused by their relationship, he had done things just because he was worried she’d leave if he didn’t, but he didn’t blame himself for … okay he did. Just a little bit. But it was fine because it was technically his fault. The self-blame thing surely only applied when he hadn’t actually done anything wrong right? Because he had! He’d let her get close to him, he’d initiated their … situationship? Relationship? Their whatever! He’d been the one to start it and make it confusing. He made the choice to not defy her. It was his fault.

So, therefore, it couldn’t have actually even been grooming right? What even was the definition of sexual abuse?

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going on tour?” Albus asked. “I mean, I figure that’s something you tell your … friend?”

“I was going to,” Delphi got up from her seat on the couch. “But it’s not even like it’s a major tour. We’re just going around England. Nowhere too far away.”

“Right, just the other side of the country,” Albus shrugged. “Would have been nice to know.”

“What? You aren’t proud of us? After all I’ve done for you, you can’t accept that I’m also making progress?”

“That’s not it—“

“Then what is it?”

“You’re leaving…,” Albus sighed. “I just — I thought we were close enough that you’d let me know first.”

“We are that close,” Delphi came over to him and rested her hands on his shoulders. “Come with us.”

“What?”

Albus was dumbfounded. There was no way she was actually inviting him to go on tour with her.

“Come with us!” Delphi’s smile widened. “Come on, you hate school, you hate your family, leave it behind and come with us.”

Albus took a step back. “Okay, first of all, I don’t hate my family. I just don’t always get along with them. And second of all, I can’t just go with you. I have a job, other friends, and my parents are worried enough that I keep disappearing from school and the house. I can’t just runaway.”

“Sure you can!” Delphi held his face now. “Please? For me?”

Albus didn’t know what to say. Delphi kissed him to see if maybe that would be convincing. It wasn’t.

“It’ll be fun.”

“No, I’m putting my foot down,” Albus shook his head and started leaving. “I can’t go with you.”

Sexual assault refers to the act of intentionally touching someone in a sexual manner without consent, through either force or coercion. It’s a form of sexual violence that includes child sexual abuse, groping, rape and sexual torture.

Albus scrolled down, trying to find further explanation on what child sexual abuse might entail. He didn’t think he was abused; it was just good to make sure. He seriously doubted he encountered anything severe enough to be considered abuse. And he’d been the one to initiate their relationship in the first place. So it was probably fine.

Albus got up from the couch and walked over to the door. Lily was at football practice and their Dad had been the one to drive her. Their Mum was stuck at work so Albus and his older brother, James, were the only ones left at home. He had to assume James took advantage of this absence of people and invited over a couple friends.

He pulled the door open and was surprised to see Delphi of all people standing outside.

“Can we talk?”

“Uh, sure,” Albus stepped aside and let her in. “We better go up to my room, so James doesn’t see you.”

Albus brought Delphi to his bedroom, and gently closed the door behind her. He was sort of glad they were getting the opportunity to talk before she had to leave. They could sort out the argument they’d had and calm down.

“I guess we should—“

Albus was startled by Delphi just grabbing his face and beginning to snog him. They’d snogged maybe a couple times, but never like this. Albus raised his hands to her head as his back hit the wall. His head hurt a little bit, and he winced, trying to separate for at least a moment to rub where his head had hit. But he hadn’t been able to. At least, he hadn’t been the one to separate.

Delphi pulled away only momentarily before attacking his neck. Which, wasn’t really something they’d ever done. It felt a little weird, but kind of nice.

“Um, you said you wanted to talk?” Albus was a little confused now. Not upset, but definitely confused.

Delphi sighed and pulled away. Did he do something wrong?

“Just … wanted to see if maybe you’d changed your mind?”

“Well, I haven’t,” Albus slouched. “You know why I said I couldn’t go.”

“Oh, come on!” She complained. “After everything I’ve done for you, you kind of owe me!”

“Travelling around the country isn’t something I can just do, Delphi,” Albus groaned. “I already told you, my parents are worried enough about me as is. If I left with you they’d probably send a whole search party looking for me.”

“Then leave a note,” Delphi stepped closer. “Please? Can’t you just be the least bit supportive?”

Albus swallowed. He could theoretically go with her, and there was probably a scenario in which everything turned out fine. But Albus didn’t think this was that scenario. He was in enough trouble as it was for constantly sneaking out and skipping school to go see her, although his parents didn’t know about Delphi’s involvement. He didn’t want to make things worse. And Lily kept asking him to go to one of her games. He’d promised to go to one as soon as he could, he couldn’t do that if he was on tour with The Augurey.

“I am supportive, and I’m sorry but I can’t just—“

Albus gasped when Delphi’s palm hit his cheek, and stilled as the sting spread across his face. She’d slapped him. She had just slapped him. And it hurt. Really bad.

“Fine, I don’t need you there anyway,” Delphi stormed out while Albus stood frozen in disbelief.

Child sexual abuse (CSA) occurs when an adult or older adolescent abuses a child for sexual gratification. This can include pressuring a child into a sexual activity, indecent exposure of genitals to a child, displaying pornography to a child, sexual contact with a child, physical contact to the child’s genitals, viewing of the child’s genitals, and producing pornography of a child.

Albus wiped a tear from his eye. Did kissing count as sexual contact? Did it even matter? A month ago, if Delphi had asked, Albus probably would have done everything on that list for her. If grooming was only the process of enabling abuse, had Delphi groomed him?

“Hey Albus,” he jumped when his mother walked in without knocking, and turned to face her, “what’s—?”

Albus slammed his laptop shut before she could finish asking her questions.

“Why were you looking at the definition of sexual assault?” She asked.

“I wasn’t,” Albus answered, scratching his neck.

“What were you looking at then?”

“Nothing.”

His mother gave him a look before walking towards him. “Did something happen that I should know about?”

“No,” Albus tried to smile. “Mum, I’m fine. What did you want?”

She let out a breath through her nose. “Lily and James have both had their showers. I wanted to check if you had had yours?”

“No, I’ll go do that.”

“Albus—“

“Thanks for letting me know,” Albus grabbed his clothes and hurried towards the bathroom. He didn’t think he was in the mental state to explain everything about Delphi to his mother.

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ihatemisinformstion · 11 months

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I hate TikTok so much you have no idea how much I hate it they hear one little thing out of context and then they suddenly say it’s canon hurting like half of there own community because they hate queer black people for some god awful reason I don’t even know about the micro aggressions or the fact that people think HOBIE x miles is a proship I will say this once and I will say this again I will LIGIT clear everything on hobie having a canon age because he does not. And I’m tired of people on TikTok and anywhere else saying the same thing and I might change this into my second acc just for flowerpunk and I’ll actually put my name but I’m not gonna cause I don’t wanna have this turn into a big thing if they do confirm he’s over 18 but anyways I’m going to give all my points cause I think people see something and they automatically think it’s true

To the people saying he's 19/20 that was a director talking about his concept design and could be more based on the comics it's safe to assume that Sense another director said it's up for interpretation and Gwen said he's about her and miles age then he's most likely a teen below 18 and was aged Down for the movie and it's kinda obvious because he hangs around the teen squad don't litsen to the misinformation everyone is sayin as well as the clip that people are talking about is completely out of context and so I need you to all stop it!! I’m not even an adult and I despise pro shipping it’s one of the things that triggers me into things it’s weird and it’s weird your putting a silly ship into this horrible topic so many think it’s ok to put in because the age is unconfirmed half of you people just don’t like queer black people and I am one so for the love of god stop calling people proshippers when they view hobie as a kid!!!

Phil Lord who's also a director said it's up to interpretation/headcanon plus even likened him to Sex pistols who started off young. Alsp like I said the whole Gwen and Hobie implied/jokes about being together thing would be weird as f https://twitter.com/sillyabtspiders/status/1666405777009958913?t=ct4kf0PoYIeUHwsP3tsHDQ&s=19

Of course there’s the other video but again that is concept hobie and prowler hobie not even the hobie we See as well as HOBIE is Most likely aged down and based off teen hobie stop bringing it up because it doesn’t matter!!! I’m literally so upset with being called a proshipper and such and it’s actually really stupid that I have to fight on this because everyone other ship is fine except when there both black and queer it’s weird to how much people care and I’m so tired I’m so very tired of it. I literally cannot take it anymore it’s weird you people are just as weird I’m just so upset right now and by the way I’m writing you probably have already seen me post a bit on my main but it’s embarrassing how you all cling to one thing

I feel great comfurt in this ship I do with a lot of dynamics and I don’t even ship punkflower hard I just think it’s cute but the way you people look at soemthing and think “wow proshipper” is insane because eTHATS NOT WHAT IT IS IM SORRY ITS NOT IT MAKES ME SO FRUSTRATED and I can’t tell if it’s cause I’m getting hyper fixated on this or what but I hate when this happens because wir causes so many people stress for no reason but your stupidity

Unless every single director comes out and says that HOBIE is older than 18 and not with Gwen and miles I will delete this and actually admit to it ok I’m not unreasonable I’m angry but that wouldn’t make sense because why would they tease romantic relationship as well as having hobie be with the minor coded charachters all the time

IM SO SORRY IF YOUR STRESSED BY THIS BECAUSE IM THE SAME I JUST FEEL LIKE WE WILL NEVER WIN and it’s so AKWARD I seriously hope that this whole situation gets cleared up and people will be able to ship and have there family dynamics and I’m sorry for anyone who doesn’t wanna see discourse just wanted to finally clear everything up because I know it stresses me out so I can’t imagine how other people feel

#punkflower #miles x hobie #hobie spiderverse #hobie brown #miles morales #across the spiderverse #atsv #atsv hobie #rant

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copperbadge · 2 years

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(This is a little heavy, but I wanted to apologise.) To be honest, the kinning ask was partly due to expecting you to know something about it, since you seem pretty well informed about fandom history and lore.

...But some of it was also spur of the moment upset, I'm afraid. I've repeatedly asked people on my fanart posts not to tag the characters as kin, and a lot of times they don't respect that. It's deeply anxiety inducing to see things tagged as something that I knew many neurodivergent kids/teens who tried to hurt themselves to get "back" to where they believed they came from, and seeing it bandied around so much ended up with me wanting input from a internet guy who's known to be more chill and objective.

Which isn't your responsibility, or something you could have read intothat short ask before. It's alright whether or not you decide to publish this ask, I just wanted to be clear and say sorry about the weirdness.

(Link to initial ask here, for the curious.)

You know, this is really interesting, and I feel a bit weird saying that in response to an apology, but I'd like to dig into this a little! And up front, I’m sorry you’re going through that -- Tumblrites are not always known for reading or adhering to the fine print even when the fine print is...huge. It sucks that people aren’t respecting your pretty reasonable request.

A lot of times, when I get an apology like this, I will say "Hey no need to apologize" or similar, and honestly I wasn't expecting or in need of an apology from you. But I do appreciate that you are saying you had a kind of knee-jerk reaction to something external to the two of us and came to me about it, and that maybe that wasn't entirely appropriate. So in this case I want to say apology accepted. I don't want you to feel bad, but I want to accept the apology rather than say it wasn’t necessary, because I think it validates good behavior in you. This was a good ask for you to send and I know it can’t have been easy either. So you can absolutely stop reading here if you want to, knowing that I think you did a good job and I’m not mad in any way.

But I do want to discuss it more, because it's actually incredibly common for me as an experience.

I was aware -- which is why I took the stance of inquiry that I did -- that when you sent that ask you were very likely responding to something I couldn't see. I was a little wary, because one never knows when one is about to be sucked into some fight through sheer lack of context, but I didn't see the harm in responding honestly; if you were in earnest you'd get to hear my thoughts, and if you were being disingenuous I wasn't giving you much to get your hooks into. And hey presto, you were in earnest!

If you had said "I'm wondering what your thoughts are on the term kinning, because XYZ" you would not even need an apology, that's a legit thing to want to ask someone when you know they'll have an interesting perspective. I think the minor struggle for both you and myself is that you made a statement of a stance, rather than asking a question. But again, I am not here to make you feel bad, I'm pointing it out because it's something a lot of people do. Not even to me -- just in the world in general.

But yes also to me sometimes.

Because I have a large readership, and because I have a reputation for thoughtful response, I get this kind of interaction with relative frequency. Many are perfectly fine, healthy things to say to someone with an open inbox, and that one wasn’t especially unhealthy. But sometimes, also, people who are caught in toxic habits will see my blog and without even realizing they’re doing it will try to use me, and by extension the readership, in unhealthy ways. Usually that’s pretty visible and I’m able to head it off, because people in that much pain aren’t subtle, but I also can’t always fix the problem, and sometimes the best I can do is silence.

One of the reasons I stopped offering hugs to individual people and instead do the hug-for-all every Saturday is that I was beginning to get a lot of people who were using me -- using my platform to trauma-dump to a large audience, which can be emotionally gratifying but which is not behavior to encourage. It's not a healthy way to deal with pain, and it's not an appropriate way to interact with others; it doesn’t help the person in pain and it tends to isolate them because people pull away from constantly being subjected to a stranger’s suffering, especially if there’s nothing reciprocated.

And to your credit you didn't roll up on me and just drop this pallet of understandable pain that you're feeling on my head. You wanted to hear my thoughts, which of course is gratifying to me, but also speaks to an urge in you to try and reconcile that pain, to figure out how to process it. And in opening up more about why you brought it to me, you’re now giving me context rather than, say, just yelling about people or yelling at me because I didn’t fully understand.

Ultimately, I think the message I want to convey at large is that if you (the generic, population-of-tumblr you) are in pain or sad or need help understanding something that’s causing distress, reaching out is absolutely the right thing to do. But we need to remember when we reach out that we are not asking a vending machine for a band-aid, we’re asking a whole person for their compassion, and that is not something we have a right to demand on terms we set. The easing of pain is a relationship, even if it’s only a temporary one, and a relationship is reciprocal.

And you, Anon, personally, shouldn’t beat yourself up for not quiiiiiite getting there with the first ask -- you got a lot closer than a lot of people would. If I can put my Dad Hat on for a second, you’ve got good sound instincts, kiddo. Trust ‘em.

#fandom interaction #trauma

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aajjks · 3 months

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TC!dad!JK

“sweet dreams, girls” you whisper to ayra and ji-eun who have just laid down for their nap and once they’re asleep, you head to jaehan’s room to put him to sleep for his nap too. you spend a little time with jawon who was studying about different types of fruits he could grow in the garden and you offered to help him plant the seeds with him. next is areum who was already asleep by the time you went to check on her and last was ae-cha who was talking with her brother who had a face full of tears.

“ae-cha? jinseoul? what’s wrong?” you worriedly ask. “you and dad…jinseoul said you guys are going to divorce” she cries.

“what? wh-no! no, of course we aren’t”

“but you guys hate each other. y-you hate him don’t you, mom? i’m sorry, it’s all my fault. i ruined you relationship with him and—,” jinseoul cries and you pull both of your children in for a hug to console them.

“your father and i are not going to divorce. we’re just..i’m upset at your father, that’s all. what we have going on has nothing to do with what happened, seoul i promise. it’s not your fault. neither of you are to blame”

“but do you hate him?” ae-cha sniffles.

“no no no no. i do not hate your father. i love him but your mother just needs some space from him”

“s-space?”

“that’s all, i promise. i’ll to him tonight. now, stop crying”

jinseoul and ae-cha nod their heads before wiping their tears away. you press a kiss to both of their heads of promise them that everything between you and jungkook will be okay. you’re upset at him, deeply upset but for the sake of your children, you will work through this.

after consoling your children, you find yourself going to the garden to clear your mind a bit and to your surprise, there’s jungkook sitting down with his long, fluffy locks of hair blowing in the wind.

it must be a sign that you should talk about it right now instead of holding if off for later on. you let out a sigh and slowly stalk closer to jungkook and the closer you get to him, you hear crying. his crying.

once you’re close enough, you take a seat next to him and lean your head on his shoulder.

“i think i’m ready to talk now” you say. you don’t give time for jungkook to respond, you just let it out. how you’ve been feeling, what you’re thinking, everything.

he’s always wanted to know what goes on in that head of yours anyways and so here it is, you just hope he won’t hate you afterwards.

“i’m upset at you but it’s not just you. i’m happy our son made it out alive, i really am but what you told me that day made me feel so..it made me want to scream at you because you were actually going to leave me with six kids, a kingdom i don’t know the first thing about, and ae-cha who would need her father to help her. i get it, he’s our first born. he’s the reason why he has six other siblings but we’re blessed to have more than one child. if you don’t want to push through for me, that’s fine but please try for our kids because they are the ones who need you the most and it’s like you completely abandoned that. i’m also upset at myself because i feel like i could’ve intervened and had i paid more attention, then i could’ve stopped nami and jinseoul for meeting or i could’ve found out more about the girl. i’m just upset about everything, okay? i’m upset at you, i’m upset at jinseoul, but i’m mostly upset at me because i failed him…i failed as a mother and i’ve been beating myself up about it almost everyday because i feel like a failure. your turn, tell me how you feel about everything. are you mad? are you upset? disappointed? tell me, just vent it out”

~🫧

He cannot believe that you’re here with your head on his shoulder and you are actually talking to him, Jungkook immediately starts to sniffle. he’s been crying for the past six minutes or so and his tears won’t stop. He feels like a child over again.

He feels like the child who used to cry whenever his mother had to go somewhere, and he would cry uncontrollably, and he remembers how much his father hated when he did that.

Jungkook doesn’t want you to go, so please just forgive him and don’t leave him, your silence is the worst punishment than you leaving him. He likes it when you’re chirpy and you’re always talking.

“Y-Yn I’m sorry that I always make you sad, but- my father always taught me to protect what is mine and kill anyone that gets in the way of that- he taught me how to kill yn. It’s all I know from him.” Jungkook sighs after he sniffles. “ I couldn’t bear the loss of our son… he was the reason you started loving me. I was so happy the day he was born… when I saw him like that? I just wanted to kill myself right there.” He isn’t looking into your eyes because he feels so guilty and so ashamed.

He is a 42 year old man who is happily married with seven kids, but who is too immature. Seriously who would want to be with him? His daddy issues, and mommy issues are very severe.

How do you put up with him?

“I…. React to things and in a drastic way you know that.” He scoffs at his own self, because he’s exhausted by himself too. “ I thought of everything bad I did in that moment and I thought that he was dead because of me so I just thought I would be bad or dead so the rest of my children won’t have to face my karma for the things that I did not them.”

You are listening to him without interrupting, you are so kind to him. “ I love you so much, and I love our children so much, and I feel guilty for killing that girl, even though she deserved to die, but when I saw the Look in jinseouls eyes I felt like I fucked up..” that is heavy on his heart too.

“I… I have made a decision yn..” jungkook closes his eyes and wipes his tears, taking a moment to breathe, because it’s hard for him to get the next words out.

He feels like he’s choking.

“I-If you want to leave me, I won’t stop you.. I swear I’ll divorce you if you want.. I know that’s not in customs, but fuck the customs. You deserve to be happy and if you’re happy without me… I’m happy that you’re happy at the end of the day.”

And there, he goes all silent now.

#ask: tc!jungkook

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panlight · 2 years

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Question regarding the last ask you posted but doesn’t she like drink blood in a bottle or am I going crazy? Didn’t they say she hated formula? And they are totally okay with that? Jacob is totally okay with that? On that note if they cared about humans stealing donated blood people could use in an emergency seems to go against Carlisle’s whole thing sm set him up with and I hate it

Yeah, Carlisle tried to get her to drink formula and in her one instance of behaving like an actual child, reacted to it like a little kid and lima beans or something. And then Edward is like “well I can’t say I blame her, it smells gross” rather than being upset his precious angel soul-saving child prefers drinking human blood.

Really Carlisle is the only one you can even vaguely sense having any problem with Nessie’s diet, but it’s not even clear if SM meant it as “he’s a doctor and thinks she needs human nutrition too hence formula” or “holy shit Edward created a child that drinks human blood what is that going to do to her mental and moral development? Please drink this formula instead.”

And yeah letting her just have human blood is . . . I don’t get it. I mean I guess I understand a little from the “she’s still growing, maybe she needs it?” standpoint but literally Carlisle does not provide human blood for any of the rest of them BECAUSE (as SM HERSELF EXPLAINED) it is easier for their resistance to keep that taste off their tongues. It’s sort of like the logic of “it’s easier NOT to have any cookies than just one and stop.” But with Nessie it’s like, oh sure, let’s just give her more of this resource that humans need, and let her get used to the taste of human blood so she absolutely knows what she is missing when we switch her over to animal blood. They could get animal blood from a butcher. They could kill an animal themselves and bottle the blood. It’s not like it would be that hard for them, and if there were any sense this seemed harmful to Nessie THEN they could be justified in the human blood thing, maybe.

I didn’t have a problem with the original stash of blood, because I’m pretty sure Carlisle had it because he thought Bella might need a transfusion. I don’t have the book on hand to check but I’m almost positive (heh) there’s some comment in there about Bella’s blood type; he’d only need to buy a specific blood type if he’s planning a transfusion--if he’s just planning to feed it to newborn!Bella or whatever-this-being-she-is-pregnant-with-is, then the type wouldn’t matter. So, yeah, initially he got it to keep a human (Bella) alive with a standard medical practice (transfusion) so that seems morally fine to me.

(Side note . .. wouldn’t transfusion make WAY MORE MEDICAL SENSE than Bella drinking the blood? SM has had three pregnancies, surely she understands that Nessie doesn’t directly “eat” what Bella eats, right? I mean I guess it was written like a weird craving thing, but if Nessie/the pregnancy is ‘eating’ Bella’s blood then giving Bella transfusions to replace the blood loss seems like a better idea than having her drink it. I know people are like “lol why didn’t the doctor and the two vampires who went to med school figure out the fetus needed blood?” and I’m like . . . because that’s not how pregnancy works? How would Bella’s still-human body process that blood to be of any benefit to Nessie? ALSO transfusions could be a Fun Dracula Reference but of course we can’t have nice vampire lit things, so).

So, yeah. Nessie and her diet just feels like a major mess to me. And the weird thing is SM invented the whole hybrid mythos. She could have had Nessie prefer human food, or maybe just a few drops of blood mixed in with formula, or whatever. But she CHOSE for this baby to drink human blood AND chose that NONE OF THE CHARACTERS have any problem with this at all. Not Edward. Not Rosalie. Not Jacob. Maybe Carlisle, a little, if you tilt your head and squint. Like, WHY go there if it’s not going to matter to anything? It doesn’t even matter with Charlie; Nessie’s just like “oh I know not to bite Grandpa” and is perfectly in control. Why bother making her vampiric at all if it doesn’t matter to the plot?

Edward and Rosalie hate/hated being vampires and they’re just all LOL look how fast she drinks, sure bite Jacob, yeah formula is gross, WOW that’s a big elk you killed good job, baby! It’s weird.

#asks

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ghosts-and-blue-sweaters · 9 months

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there should be more of this type of fic/art

I already answered this (more Ghostbur-centric fics!!) but my second answer would be… more Tommy and Ghostbur-centric fics alsgaksgkagsjs

The two have such an amazing and beautiful relationship and hardly anyone talks about them 😭

THAT REMINDS ME THAT I ACTUALLY NEED TO GO CHECK THEIR TAG ON A03 AND SEE IF I CAN FIND ANYTHING GOOD I’LL BE RIGHT BACK

Edit: OH MY GOSH I FOUND A FIC. I FOUND A FIC. A GOOD FIC. ABOUT GHOSTBUR AND TOMMY. OH MY GOSH. I AM ALSGAKSGJAFSHSFW

LOOK LOOK LOOOOOOOOK!!!! THERE’S PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES!!! AND!!! AND :(((

It’s also free of swear words, which is always a nice surprise in DSMP fanfics 😅

The author responded to my comment in literally two minutes lol

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

…Ghostbur and Tommy’s relationship XD

I just love them, okay? Absolutely adore these two. Freaking phenomenal.

There’s Ghostbur, who’s very closely intertwined with Wilbur—has his voice (sort of) and his face and even some of his memories—and as a result, everyone sees Ghostbur as Wilbur, more or less. They don’t see him as Ghostbur, they see him as Wilbur’s ghost. There’s a very big difference there.

And then there’s Tommy—the one person on the entire server who truly saw Ghostbur as someone different from Wilbur, someone who wasn’t Wilbur. Tommy treated Ghostbur like his own person!! He treated Ghostbur with actual kindness and made sure he was loved, and I will NEVER GET OVER THAT

Heck, Tommy was the only person who grieved after Ghostbur was killed; the kid made a little memorial thingy, took care of Friend, got very upset whenever Wilbur would say mean things about Ghostbur, and clearly got sad whenever Ghostbur was even mentioned. It was clear to anyone that Tommy loved Ghostbur and really, truly missed him :’(

And don’t even get me started on Exile! Ghostbur was the only one who consistently visited Tommy—which helped Tommy feel a lot less lonely—and he helped make Exile into a home, into Logstedshire! Or at least, as much of a home as it could be.

Ghostbur even made a little house for Tommy to stay in 🥺 Even though Tommy stubbornly insisted on staying in a tent (which he built really badly if I’m remembering right lol. It was either Ghostbur or Dream who had to step in and help Tommy out XD)

And Ghostbur took pictures of L’manburg and brought those pictures back for Tommy to look at, and he made both Tommy and Tubbo matching compasses that pointed to each other (friendship compasses!!) because Ghostbur knew how much the two meant to each other and how much they loved each other! Ghostbur literally said, “your favorite thing in the whole world is Tubbo!” to Tommy 🥺 HE KNEW HOW MUCH CLINGY DUO AKSGAKSGJAGSJWGS GAH!!!!

This is very rambly, but what I’m trying to say is that Ghostbur and Tommy’s relationship is darn special, and it’s a shame that hardly anyone pays attention to that. I just love them <3

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Kinda switching gears here, but when people use cc!Dream as a reason to hate the Dream SMP, I just… ugh.

Just because the creators/actors/writers/etc of a piece of media do bad things or make bad decisions or do things that you don’t agree with, that doesn’t mean that the actual media is bad.

Heck, Dream wasn’t even the main part of DSMP! There were loads of other things, like L’manburg and Tommy and Wilbur and Bad and the Eggpire and Las Nevadas and Beeduo and November 16th and so many others, that were way more important than Dream’s character!! I’d definitely say that Dream wasn’t the reason that DSMP got popular or became so good; it was because of other people, and their stories and their arcs. That’s what got people into DSMP. Not Dream.

If you don’t want anything to do with Dream, that’s perfectly fine!! But hating DSMP because of that… is kinda weird to me? Because what you’re doing is casting aside all of the wonderful stories that don’t have anything to do with Dream, y’know? That doesn’t seem fair. That seems weird.

I have a lot of thoughts about this issue aksgajsgajfs

#it’s so FRUSTRATING #there’s been so many people that have left the fandom because of Dream and while I DEFINITELY get not wanting anything to do with the #with the content creator/his character I REALLY DON’T UNDERSTAND why these people #also just… ignore all the other content creators and their characters and their stories #because a lot of them don’t have anything to do with Dream #y’know??#I just think it’s weird #I personally don’t like the content creator but I draw a line between him and his character #and his character isn’t even a favorite of mine alsgaksgkagshs #I just pay attention to everyone else XD #I don’t know if this made senseeeeee but aw well 😅#ask #ask game answers #my dsmp thoughts #Pinestripe tag

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spiderson-fanfics · 9 months

Text

the adoption (part 2)

———————————————————————

When I opened my eyes I looked around seeing my brother asleep in a chair next to me, then I heard beeping I looked over to where I heard the beeping only to see a heart monitor. I got confused and then I saw someone walk in. I went reaching for my knife only to find it not there.

“hay kid good to see you awake.” The man quietly said

“where am I?” I asked trying to figure it out

“you’re in the hospital, I’m doctor strange” said the man

“Oh, hello.” I said not letting my guard down

“relax I won’t hurt you.” He said

“how can i trust you?” I asked hoping i could pull pete to my side

———————————————————————

‘Jesus this kid think I’ll hurt her what the hell has she been through.’Thought Stephan

Stephan sat down next to the boy that was now sleeping.

“hay um doctor strange?” The young girl asked

“what’s wrong kid?” Stephan asked

“if I tell you something can you protect my brother?” The kid asked pointing to the young boy

“ of course kid” Stephan said a little confused

“well I live in a group home, and the kids there try too hurt my brother and the woman that runs it doesn’t do anything.” The girl explained, “ I had to teach myself how to properly wield a knife or gun so I can protect me and my brother”

Stephan could clearly see the pleading in the kids eyes. She was scared, trying to suppress it but Stephan saw it.

——————————————————————— damn it I shouldn’t have said anything what if he’s gonna say that I’m a bad role model, or he’s gonna confront the manager of the group home, or or-.

“hay, hay deep breaths kid deep breaths.”

———————————————————————

Once the kid was calm he put the kids bed into sitting position.

“are you alright kid?” He ask a bit concerned

“I’ll be fine.” The kid answered back. Stephan clearly saw the lie but let it go.

“You hungry?”he asked as he knelt beside the bed.

“yeah a little.” The girl admits

“alright.” He states standing “ I’ll be right back, I’ll bring something for your bother”

The girl nodded and Stephan left the room keeping the light to a minimum.

———————————————————————

When the door opened next the group home manager walked in.

“why the hell did you say that!?” She screamed

“say what?” i questioned

“about the group home!”

Peter woke up at the sudden screaming and ran be hind my arm, sheilding him from the woman. Peter was shaking scared of the yelling.

“Get. Out.” Said the doctor from earlier from what i could remember his name was doctor strange. He looked upset, mad even.

“come on Peter.” The woman said

“No!” Peter said quickly scrambling closer

———————————————————————

Stephan heard screaming so he quickly went to the hospital room it was coming from when he entered he saw a woman who looked in her late 30’s. “Get. Out” he said sternly the woman attempted to get the boy but she left defeated. “Are you alright?” He asked quietly to not frighten the young boy. the girl looked at the younger boy “yeah we’re okay.” She said softly.

“I brought food.” Stephan said holding up a bag.

———————————————————————

“hay Steph!” Tony called hearing the door open.

“hay love.” Stephan said a little upset

“Everything alright babe?” Tony questioned coming out of the kitchen

“yeah. But remember the girl that was on the news?”

“yeah I remember did you find anything?” Tony asked

“sure did, her brother and her are at mercy hospital, and she told me what actually happened.” Stephan explained

“So what actually happened?” Tony asked

“apparently the group home she lives in the kids there try too hurt the girls brother and the woman that runs it doesn’t do anything,” Stephan started, “The girl had to teach her self how too properly use a knife and gun just too protect her and her brother.”

“What the hell?” Tony stated concern clear in his voice. “What do we do babe?” He ask clearly concerned

——————————————————————— When I was discharged we went back to the group home, when I got there I put my hand on my pocket in which my knife was sensing something was off. I pulled Peter closer to my side and looked around keeping my guard up.

“go to your beds.” The woman said firmly

Peter dug closer into my side scared as I led him to the room we shared.

“what- what if we don’t get adopted?” Peter questioned

“I promise wether we do or not I’ll always protect you.” I said settling down on my bed after tucking Peter in.

the next morning I woke up to crying I looked around seeing pete being pulled out of the room “PETE!” I screamed getting up pulling out my knife and opening it running after them. When I reached Peter I pulled him to me holding my knife out. I didn’t realize until someone put a hand on my shoulder.

“kid relax.” The man said

I closed my knife remembering the voice “D-Doctor strange?” I asked turning around

“yep that’s me.” He said smiling

———————————————————————

when Stephan knelt down the girl was shaking hell she may have almost had a panic attack. After signing the papers the girl seemed surprised.

“I said I’d protect y’all didn’t I?” Stephan asked

the girl only smiled and then they left leaving that hell hole forever.

———————————————————————

Hi! This is the end of chapter 2 no this isn’t the end of the story there will be more later on but I’m going to work on other stories.

yours truly

spiderson-fanfics

#ironstrange #spider son #Y/n Parker #mention of injury #Mention of weapons

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alaffy · 1 year

Text

The Umbrella Academy, Ep. 3x02 – Worlds Biggest Ball of Twine

It’s very rare that a show, when they introduce a younger character or a kid character, they actually pull it off. That this new character will actually become someone that people become involved with. This, most likely, will not be one of those rare shows.

It’s the cousin Oliver or Scrappy-Doo effect. Granted, usually the story comes from a place where they’re trying to keep a younger demographic (something that isn’t likely happening here); but it can be used for other reasons as well. In this case, a certain character’s daddy issues. And, no, purposely making the kids an asshole doesn’t exclude you from the whole concept. In other words, unless this kid has something very specific to do with the plot; he (and anyone else forced to interact with said character) will only be briefly mentioned.

However, I feel like I should also make it clear; I am opposed to the addition to a child character. However, this has nothing to do with the actor themselves. First off, I think the young man here actually is doing a good job acting wise. And even if he wasn’t….I have a pretty strong rule of not criticizing child actors. After all, it’s a tough business to be in and, well, you never know what’s going on behind the scenes.

I’m going to get a couple of character storylines out of the way first, because they don’t interact with the other main characters this episode. Lila is still in town, but she discovers that her briefcase doesn’t work anymore. Long story short, she uses the powers of the Sparrows to get inside of the Academy and get the Umbrellas’ briefcase.

Luther is kidnapped by the Sparrow Academy. The Sparrows think that the Umbrellas have Marcus. They plan on waiting for the Umbrellas to discover Luther missing and come looking for him. Boy, did they pick the wrong plan. Anyway, Luther is actually treated pretty well and starts to have a moment with Sloane. However, Sloane is being watched and Luther starts to realize that she may be pumping him for information (which is true and not true. It’s not by choice). When the Sparrows realize no one is coming for Luther, they send him back (with a cute little gift bag). They want him to let his team know that, if Marcus isn’t returned, they Sparrows will come for them. However, before he walks away from the Academy, Sloane uses her powers to bring him into her room and they continue their moment.

As for the rest of the team? Well, Diego is dealing with his son…so, skip. Five is officially retired and plans on doing…retired stuff. Klaus, on the other hand, has a mission. It turns out that he has some information that he’s never told his siblings about and has decided to act on it. He invites Five along under the ruse of a road trip.

As for Allison….well, in the past 24 hours, she’s managed to: fly back to California; get inside her house; discovered her daughter no longer exists; and come back to the hotel. Right now, she’s upstairs and understandably upset.

But the big moment, of course, is what happens with Vanya at this point. Vanya is looking through the history of the timeline and finds out that they’re known as the Kennedy Six. Also, Vanya finds out that Sissy spent the rest of her life under an assumed name and died in 1989. Vanya, reminiscing, remembers Sissy mentioning something about free herself from the box that people are always placed in. As Vanya is pondering these words, Vanya passes a barbershop and comes to a decision.

Later, as Five, Diego, and Klaus are discussing things; Vanya comes into the room and let’s them know that he’s Viktor now. Or, rather, he’s always been Viktor; but it’s taken him time to realize who he truly is. He then asks if they have a problem with it. Which, of course, they don’t. Viktor also lets them know that he’s talked to Marcus; which does concern them. Viktor wants to get the case back so they can fix the timeline. Five argues that the timeline is fine and that they shouldn’t mess with it anymore. Viktor reminds Five that the timeline isn’t fine for everyone; as Allison has lost her daughter. Anyway, Viktor tells them he has a plan and everyone goes to do their own thing.

Diego has to take care of his kid, which leads them to a pharmacy where he has a fight with Jayme and Alfonso. Skip.

Meanwhile, Viktor let’s Allison know of his meeting with Marcus and how he plans on meeting with Marcus again to get the briefcase. Of course, Allison won’t let him go alone. Along the way, Viktor tells Allison about himself. Allison feels guilty for not realizing sooner; but Viktor points out that there’s no way Allison could have known because Viktor hadn’t realized himself. But he does mention how he didn’t like looking in mirrors, as he never felt right in his own skin. Allison asks how he feels when he looks now and Viktor says he feels like himself.

But not everything is right with Allison, which is understandable. It also is clear that, given the events she went through during the 1960s, she clearly has PTSD. It rears up in the diner, as the two wait for Marcus. Allison runs out of the diner, only to see the elderly man from the pervious episode (Harlen?) watching them. She chases after him, but he escapes with what seems to be powers.

As this is going on, Klaus and Five have started their road trip. And I just love the fact that Five has all of these touristy traps marked along a map. However, Klaus tells Five the truth. Klaus wants Five there because…well, turns out that Klaus found paperwork on their birth mothers several years ago. Klaus wants to meet his mother and see what kind of life he might have lived. Five decides that, at the very least, they’re going to see the Worlds Biggest Ball of Twine before they do. Which, strangely enough, leads to them having a very heavy discussion about family and, possibly, brings them a little close together.

Afterwards, they go to where Klaus would have been born. It turns out his mother was Amish. However, when Klaus starts asking around about his mother, particularly asking one woman, he is chased away by her husband.

While this is going on, another wave of energy blasts out of the ball in the basement of the Academy. This time, though, it manages to travel quite further. In fact, it blasts past Five and ends up killing all the cows in a nearby field.

While Five tries to figure out what just happened, Klaus manages to double back and track down the woman he spoke to earlier. She tells him that she is the sister of his mother. However, instead of having a baby on October 1st, 1989; his mother died. At which point, the husband discovers Klaus and the missing cows. Klaus runs back to the car. Just before he takes off with Five, Klaus’s aunt comes up to the car with a large folder. She tells Klaus that her sister died mysteriously and so did several others that day. Klaus mentions this to Five and Five freaks out.

At the end of the episode, the siblings (minus Luther) meet back at the hotel. Five tells them they have another problem. It turns out all of their mothers died on October 1st, which means none of them have been born. This means they are facing a potential paradox that could end all of reality. Although, wouldn’t they already be in a big paradox as the events leading up to their time travel moment also no longer exist?

#the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #sloane hargreeves #lila pitts

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skullrock · 1 year

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i have to use my tumblr as a diary bc i have no one else to talk to i fear 🫶🏻

if ur reading this i am going to be talking about illness and death so pls be advised

my grandma pretty much raised me when i was a kid and was the first person really to know i was gay (even before i knew lmfao) and she was genuinely my bestest friend in the world up until i was like 11 and started middle school. she taught me how to sew and she let me try on her vintage jewelry and gave me her mom’s jewelry when i was like 10 which was very nice of her. we used to sit on her countertop and make pepperoni rolls from scratch and honestly they’re like the worst pepperoni rolls you’d ever have but she taught me how to make them so they were actually the best in the world. we would watch cooking channel and she would tell me all about cowboys she used to have crushes on. i used to make up stories about roy rogers while sitting in her kitchen and i would do just about anything and say just about anything to make her and the rest of my family laugh.

two months ago she had a devastating stroke - she’s 92 years old. we didn’t get her to the hospital in a very timely manner because we didn’t realize she had a stroke until WAY late and the doctor told us it was 50/50 whether she would be okay or not. that was one of the worst nights of my life. next day she woke up and was talking!! moving!! smiling!! joking!! it was literally a fucking miracle and i still can’t believe she was okay after that. but the doctors wanted her to go to physical therapy bc she just needed some help getting her legs/arms/speech working again so she went to an independent inpatient which was basically a nursing home. she was there for 12 days and got ZERO CARE. to the point where she developed two bedsores, one very major. the facility did not even tell us she had it when she was discharged and my family found it on their own. a visiting nurse said the bedsore was stage 4 severe. i’m not going to elaborate on that bc it’s very gross but YEAH very bad stuff.

she was literally fine until the end of her stay at the inpatient place when the bedsore got worse. when she came home she stopped eating and drinking and became very lethargic. she went to wound care and they did some work on it but she still wasn’t doing well. she just went to the hospital again and they did surgery on the bedsore in hopes that it would clear up, but my grandma is still having a hard time eating and drinking.

they just put her on hospice and i am fucking. devastated. i’m devastated. she’s a shell of who she was a month and a half ago. she’s hardly able to speak. she can’t take care of herself, she can’t get up. she can’t eat and can’t drink. so now it’s a waiting game to see when she finally succumbs. and not being able to talk to her is the most horrible part of it. i visited her in the inpatient place a few weeks ago and i had no idea that was the last time i would have a conversation with her. it makes me feel so fucking sick every time i think about it. i won’t get to hear her say that she loves me again, i won’t be able to tell her what’s going on in my life, we won’t be able to talk about cowboy movies anymore. i’m so upset it is unreal. this is the first major loss i’ll ever experience and nothing could ever prepare me for it.

i just went to go see her tonight and my mom has been telling me that she isn’t talking or smiling when people visit her. i was expecting to get my heart broken but she actually smiled when she saw me. she couldn’t say anything but she smiled at me and now i’m so scared that’s the last time i’ll see it. because i have a stupid full time job an hour away from her and i might just end up getting the call after the fact.

this just fucking sucks !!!! i don’t have anyone to talk to about it it feels like. my mom is emotionally exhausted and is “taking it a day at a time” which good for her but terrible for me bc she won’t open up about things or let me talk about them. my dad is just like shrugging about it and so is my sister (who was never that close with her). and i think a lot of people in my life are sympathetic but they’re also like “yeah she had a stroke at 92 what did you expect :/“. like i know she is going to die of course but this is happening so fast. and so fast after she made such a miraculous recovery. and i can’t even be with her because of my job. i have to work both days this coming weekend for events and i’m so terrified that she will pass when i’m at work. but i have no backup! there’s no one that can take over for me if she passes or is on her last leg!!! and it’s sucks!!!

i just needed to rant i don’t think anyone will read this. but i feel a little better just getting it off my chest. ok love u if u did read it im going to finish crying now

#han talks

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yyumemika · 1 month

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A Premature Burial Episode 1

A Premature Burial

Episode 1

Season: Winter

Characters: Kuro, Nazuna, Mika

(The next day. Near the entrance to the residential area at Starmony Hall)

Nazuna: Absolutely not…

Kuro: Well how about this, can you just say yes anyways. I’ll bow my head and ask politely— No, aren’t we closer than that?

Nazuna: Yeah. Usually I’m happy to hear out whatever Kuro-chin has to say but no means no.

Kuro: Why? You’re not naive enough to be embarrassed about wearing eccentric costumes, are you, Nito?

Nazuna: That’s true, but…

Even though I’m an adult and starting to look like I'm turning 20, sometimes I look at myself in cute shorts and think ‘what am I doing’.

I can’t help it if that’s the kind of idol “Ra*bits” are, I agreed to that.

Kuro: Oh, in that case…♪

Nazuna: You’ve got it all wrong! What upsets me is having to wear women’s clothes made by my friend Kuro-chin!?

I said no! It makes me feel weird!

Kurou: I-It’s not weird! Don’t say things that ruin my reputation!

Why are you so reluctant about it? I’m only asking you to try on the costume I sewed for my little sister!

Nazuna: Are you saying you don’t understand why that’s unnerving to ask of a guy who’s the same age as you~!?

Isn’t your little sister still in elementary school or something? Sure, I’m known for being cute, but I’m a mature adult man you know~!?

Kurou: It’s fine! Nito can do it!

My sister is just like me, so she keeps getting taller and taller, and the costume might be too short, so Nito can wear it!

I believe in you! Nito!

Nazuna: I’d rather hear you say that in a completely different situation?!

Right! I’m done talking! I’m uncomfortable so I’m going back to my own room!

I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that as part of our friendship, so you should take a walk and clear your head too!

Kuro: Don’t say that, I’m begging you, Nito~...

I’ve noticed my sister is getting really fashion-conscious recently, but all the clothes and accessories she wants are stupidly expensive.

With our economic situation getting out of hand, I just thought I’d sew them myself. That way it’ll be cheaper.

But when it comes to clothes, you can’t tell if they're good or bad until you’re actually wearing them. So, please? You understand, don’t you Nito?

I’m begging you… I have no other choice, Nito.

I shouldn’t be saying this, but all of the ES idols are built well, with good proportions. Being so small makes you a valuable resource.

The world might be wide, but the only person I know that can fit into an elementary school girl’s clothes properly— is Nito.

Nazuna: Can’t you just buy a mannequin…?

Kuro: Oh? I haven’t seen you like this in a while, your eyes are glazed over like glass balls.

Nazuna: I didn’t want my eyes to glaze over again like when I acted like a doll for “Valkyrie” during such a stupid scenario but…

Mika: …!

Kuro: Oof? Hey, look forward when you’re walking. Are you hurt?

Mika: …

Kuro: Hey… Are you gonna bump into me without even saying hello? Did something happen, Kagehira?

Mika: Nnah? Ah, sorry Ryu-kun-san? My mind’s gone all blank…!

Kuro: What’s the matter… Are you in trouble? I’ll listen if you need to talk?

Mika: Nnah? No no, I can’t bring Ryu-kun-san into this—

Ah, but Ryu-kun-san is Ryu-kun-san, right?

Kuro: Ah? That’s what I was called as a kid, why are you using it now? Itsuki hasn’t called me that in a long time?

Mika: Oh yeah! Ryu-kun-san is Oshisan’s childhood friend? That’s why it’s Ryu-kun-san, right?

Kuro: I don’t see what you’re trying to say… Did something happen to Itsuki?

#raison d'etre #ensemble stars #enstars #kuro kiryu #nazuna nito #mika kagehira #english translation

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lone-changelings-journal · 4 months

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15/1/1495

This has been the craziest two days of my entire life. I can’t believe I’m even able to write this down, oh gods. Like… I’m free! I’m alive and I’m free. It’s insane I’m able to say that, but it’s true. Gah, I want to scream!!! I won’t, but I want to. As happy as I am it’d probably upset Morr and I really don’t want to do that. She’s like the nicest person I’ve ever met, I’d feel awful upsetting her. But I’m getting ahead of myself here. The whole reason I asked for this journal was so I could process everything that’s happened to me over the past tenday. Probably every tenday after this as well.

I’m still kicking myself for deciding to run away in the dead of winter. Not like I really had a choice in the matter though. My ears most likely have frostbite they hurt so much. Hopefully it’s not too bad. I quite like my ears and I’d rather them not fall off. Even now in the warmth of Morr’s cabin I still feel like I’m at risk of freezing to death. I hate it. But it’s better than being stuck back in that goddamn prison. I’d rather die than go back there. But processing things. I guess I should start from the beginning. So much has happened I want to write it down while it’s still fresh. And if this all pans out well it’ll be nice to be able to look back on my writing here and see where it all began.

The beginning. I don’t exactly know what counts as the beginning. Like, is the beginning when I decided to run away? Or is it when I actually ran away? Uh… Ah screw it, it’s not like it really matters why, what matters is that I did. About six days ago I finally managed to break free and run away from home. Father decided he was going to host some sort of party or something at the estate and, as usual, I was instructed to blend in with the crowd and make sure the guests were attended to. Nevermind the fact the gash in my side hadn’t fully healed and shifting with stitches in hurts like the hells.

Personally I’d rather not remember the finer details on that. Long story short once the party was over I saw an opportunity to escape and I took it. One of the women his mistress had invited had several children with her. They’d been causing chaos all night chasing each other around and playing their little games. At one point the idea to change into one of them popped into my mind. No one noticed, and once I’d followed her and her kids into town I broke off from the group and just… Ran.

I never planned to leave. I’ve always dreamed of running away, but I never thought I’d actually go through with it, you know? Yet suddenly I was running down the streets of South City fast as I could trying to get as far away from that damn manor as possible. Like I said, I’m never going back. I would rather die. Not even that. I’d rather walk the hells as a lemure for the rest of eternity than go back. It was so freeing to run past the city gate and onto the open road that it took me a good hour or two to realize just how badly I’d screwed up. I ended up going back into the city to pick up a few supplies once the sun started to go down. Gods, it’s SO cold outside it’s not even funny.

Honestly I don’t even know what I planned on doing after leaving. If I hadn’t stumbled across Morr’s cabin I’d probably have frozen to death by now. The first day sleeping outside was fine, but the first day’s air was still and skies were clear. So, still unbearably cold, but survivable at least. But it’s the start of winter. The days have been getting colder and they’re going to keep getting colder. And of course I was out in the middle of goddamn nowhere. If I would have stayed in South City someone would have eventually found me and returned me home. Or arrested me, whatever came first. Once I was out I knew I couldn’t turn back, but I really don’t know anything about the surrounding area. I’ve never left home before.

Eventually after wandering for a few days I came across a dense forested area. It was late and I figured the trees would help shield me from the wind. Maybe I could build a fire with some branches or something too, I don’t know. So I walked off the path and looked around for maybe like a little trench or something to sleep in. That’s when I came across Morr’s cabin.

I really wasn’t expecting to see anyone living out in the middle of the forest, but I’m really glad I found this place. I probably wouldn’t have noticed it if the lights weren’t on though. The entire place is ancient. Like, vines and moss growing all over the walls ancient. But my god it really was a welcome sight. For all of like two seconds. I was so sick and tired of being out in the cold I found myself walking right up to the door without even thinking. In hindsight, anyone could have been behind the door. I could have gotten myself kidnapped by a hag or something. But that didn’t end up happening, thankfully. How shitty would it be to finally escape only to be caught and locked up by someone worse… I don’t want to think about that.

Once I’d come to my senses I decided to peek in through the window to scope the place out. See who lived there and stuff. That’s when I first saw Morr. The inside of her house is like an alchemist’s playground. I’m glad I don’t have allergies because she has plants absolutely everywhere. Live plants, dried plants, fermenting plants, mushrooms, mosses… Everything! She also has like anything and everything you’d need to cast probably any spell in existence. I really don’t know much about magic, though, so that I can’t say for sure. There might as well have been with all the stuff laying around.

Her cabin also has this strange air around it. It’s really hard to describe, and even now after being here for a couple days I’m not used to it. Though I guess in the two days I’ve been working for her I’ve only been inside a couple of hours. The air here feels light, and it almost makes you feel weightless even though nothing’s changed. I don’t know. I almost feel energized just standing near it in a weird way. It’s really hard to explain, I can’t really say much more than that. Anyway, as weird as the place was, it didn’t feel overly dangerous and I really didn’t want to freeze to death mere feet away from a warm fire so I knocked on the door.

Like I said, Morr is kind of a… Strange individual. She seems to be very fond of the mask she wears. I don’t know what it’s for, but she had it on even when she thought she was alone. It’s made of some strange wood that I can only assume is enchanted. There’s this weird arcane… Sheen to it? If that’s the word? Like depending on the lighting you can see this swirly glow across its surface, but in others it looks totally normal. Aside from the fact it has insanely intricate carvings and patterns all over it. Her mask paired with her eyes still sort of freak me out. I know I shouldn’t be judging her based on her appearance, as she’s been nothing but kind to me since we met, but her eyes are just… Eerie. I’ve never met anyone with pure orange eyes before. No pupils or anything. And they GLOW! All the time!!!

Honestly though I don’t really care in the grand scheme of things. She let me inside, even though I was a total stranger. Apprehensive as she was she didn’t seem to want to send me back out in the cold by myself. She let me in and gave me a warm cup of tea and… Gods… It was so good. I’ve never drank anything like it before. It was warm and minty, with a very sweet aftertaste. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water. Actually no, note to self time here. Ask Morr what the hells was in that tea because I NEED to know how to make it. If I even can. For all I know it was some weird magic tea from whatever “plane” she’s from. Whatever that means.

But yeah she let me inside and had me warm up by the fireplace and she said I could stay the night as long as I didn’t mess up any of her work. Which I wouldn’t DREAM of doing. I know better than to go messing with someone else's stuff. This is where we properly introduced ourselves. Her full name is Morrighan, but she asked me to call her Morr so this is the only time I’m going to write her full name down. After she let slip she wasn’t from this world she started asking me questions about my life. The last thing I wanted to do after escaping was talk about myself, but I guess I understand. I’m still just some stranger who randomly knocked on her door in the middle of the night begging for a place to stay. I… Really don’t deserve the kindness she’s shown me…

I feel bad not telling her the whole truth about who I was, but honestly I think she knew immediately I wasn’t telling the full story. All I said was that I was from South City and that I used to work for my father by testing his new spells and potions. I left out all the other stuff. I guess I just… I don’t know! I don’t want Morr to pity me more than she already does. She totally knows though, there’s no way she doesn’t. I’ve never been able to keep composure and I was a stuttering mess the entire time.

I don’t even know how to explain what happened next. Two days later and I’m still here trying to process it all. Hence the journaling, duh. That was the whole point. Once I finished my stupid half truth life story she started going on some confusing rant about paths and how I “had no path in life” or how “my path lead you here” or… Something? I couldn’t really follow along. It hurt hearing a total stranger basically calling me hopeless. That’s what I was able to gather from her rant, anyway. Maybe she didn’t mean it like that but it sure sounded like it. But she kept going on about how my old path didn’t matter and how it was fate I ended up here and how she could “give me a path to follow” and how I’d never be lost again so long as I followed her lead. She also mentioned how she could grant me power when I felt powerless and all this other stuff I hardly remember. She talked at me for a LONG time, and it was so late at night.

See, I’ve heard stories like this in the past. It’s something father often ranted about. He always hated people who took the “easy way out” when it came to learning the arcane. Totally hated sorcerers simply for being born. Ironic, considering his own child is a Changeling. Either way, over the years I’ve heard alllllll his rants about sorcerers and clerics and warlocks. He views clerics and warlocks as one in the same because “both sell their soul to some deity in exchange for free magic. Or so they think” and then the rant continues on cursing out the gods and saying that nothing in this world comes for free and how they’re all slaves and blah blah blah.

While I don’t agree with him entirely, I do know that warlocks DO ACTUALLY give their souls away. Or… Bind them to someone? Or something to do with the soul, I don’t know exactly. So when Morr started talking about all this stuff and how she could help me reach my potential by making a pact I was skeptikal. But she kept going on and on about how much she saw in me, and how my desire for a better life drew me here, and how she could make my life so much better and I just… No one’s ever told me anything like that before. And she’s been SO nice to me! No one’s ever been this nice to me before either! I really hope I haven’t been tricked, but honestly what the hell else would I do? Wander back into the snow and hope I can survive the walk to wherever the nearest town is?

I can’t believe I actually made a pact with her, but I did. By the gods do I feel different. Once I agreed she had me step closer and she placed her hand on my forehead and started doing what I can only assume was an incantation or a ritual or something. Everything fell totally still. Time itself seemed to cease. We started floating in the air as she asked me a few final questions. I just agreed to everything. Maybe I’m a fool for that. Once it was all said and done I shook her hand and we both fell back to the ground and everything went back to normal. I don’t exactly know the full details of this pact, but she promised she’d tell me tomorrow morning. Gods, I’m still reeling over it all. I don’t feel nearly as scared of the world as I did before. Like, I feel like I can do anything.

But it didn’t end there. Obviously, since that was only the first night and it’s been like two days now. I gotta take a break here for a second, though, my hand is starting to cramp up. I think the cold might have done more to me than I thought.

Okay I’m back now! Just needed a break for a second. But yeah, I made a pact with Morr. Then she showed me where I’d be sleeping for the night and said we could discuss things more in the morning. Which we did, and gods did it take an even wilder turn. She, uh, gave me a familiar to watch over me. I know all about those. Both father and his mistress had one, and I often saw them running around doing little jobs for them both. But Father had a rabbit and his mistress had an ugly flat faced cat. Gods, I hated that thing. I hated both of them, but at least Father’s rabbit was cute. That doesn’t matter though. When Morr told me she was giving me a familiar I assumed it would be something like that. A little animal that could ride around on my shoulder and whatnot. Instead she brought me to the back room of her cabin where there was a FREAKING WOLF!

When I say she’s massive I really do mean massive, though. I rode on her back like a horse! That’s how big she is! And she has the same glowing orange eyes Morr has. No pupils, just orange. Oddly enough while she is made of some sort of fog or smoke or whatever it is, she still feels mostly solid. Like there’s maybe four or five inches of fog and then she feels just like any other wolf. At least, I assume wolves feel like that. I’ve never touched one before.

Morr said that I had to touch her to form our bond, but she also said that if I was too scared the bond wouldn’t form. How in the hells am I supposed to walk up to a wolf who’s teeth are larger than my FINGERS and TOUCH IT without being terrified?!? I did what I was told though. I held my hand out for her to sniff because I can only assume wolves are like dogs. She sniffed my hand and then howled at me, I think. She made some sort of noise, but it certainly didn’t sound like any animal I’ve ever heard. It sounded kind of like breathing, but kind of mechanical, but also very echoy? Like a “WhhoOoooAhAhhahahahh” kind of noise. Writing can’t do it justice.

After that I worked up the courage to pet her on the head, and once I did she became a lot less intimidating. Even with her being almost the size of a horse and having creepy glowing eyes and being surrounded by dark mist/smoke she’s still exactly like any other dog I’ve ever met. I pet her and her tail started wagging and kicking up the smoke everywhere making the room all hazy. It was cute, in a weird… Campfire ghost story sort of way.

Anyway, she doesn’t have a name yet. Well, she does, but I’m not allowed to know it? Uh.. Basically, I asked Morr if she had a name and she said no. So I said I would think of one, but Morr said that would be improper because this wolf is an intelligent being, she just can’t speak. Basically it’d be like me giving a grown woman a name after just meeting her for the first time. Morr said she didn’t have a name at all, but I learned that wasn’t the case soon after speaking with one of her friends. Or contacts. Or whatever, I don’t know their relationship. He told me that she DOES have a name, she just doesn’t trust me enough to tell me it yet. Which begs the question, why doesn’t she trust Morr with her name?

But yeah once we formed our bond, which is super freaking cool by the way, Morr gave me my first job as a warlock. Or would “as HER warlock” be the right way to put it? Regardless, she told me that one of her contacts had been keeping ahold of a tome for her and that I needed to go find him and bring it to her. This guy’s name is Aurthur and he lives in the next closest town. It’s a little town called Darrow that I’ve never heard of before now. Though I don’t see any reason why I would have. I was kept in a noble house in South City. Father’s family had lived in the estate for like three generations, which is a LONG time for high elves. We certainly weren’t going to move any time soon, so I had no reason to know about the surrounding villages and towns and whatnot. In hindsight he probably never told me so I’d never want to leave. Whole lot of good that did…

Darrow is about a day’s ride from here. I don’t know how much faster horseback is compared to walking. Or wolfback, considering I didn’t ride a horse to Darrow. All I know is I’d certainly have froze to death before getting there if I’d have tried to walk there from South City, and with it being the CLOSEST town… Yeah, I’m really glad I found Morr’s cabin. Thankfully Morr gave me some winter clothes before I headed out. Me and uh… I’ll just call her “wolf” for now? We both left in the early morning and we got to Darrow at maybe eleven o’clock? I figured Arthur would probably be asleep by now and I really didn’t want to spend another night out in the cold so once I got into town wolf and I wandered around until we found a tavern to stay at.

If I have any say in it I’m never going back to Darrow. Though considering Morr has a contact there I have a feeling I’m going to be making return trips frequently. Aside from Arthur the people I met there were so… Horrible! See I know a lot of places don’t allow animals, familiars or not, so when we got to the tavern I told wolf to stay outside so I could go in and ask about it. The plan was I’d ask, and if we got turned away I’d just find us somewhere else to go. Instead the woman there freaked out on me. She went on and on about how I’m just some small changeling and how I could never handle a wolf as big as mine, and how I was secretly bringing it here to let it loose on the town and how it could maul or devour someone. Just on and on.

It didn’t help that I didn’t have a name to give her. In this woman’s eyes the fact wolf doesn’t have a name yet proves that she isn’t a pet or a companion and is, in fact, a wild beast. I offered to prove she was obedient but even after doing so she just kept going off on us. The other people at the bar were all laughing and booing me as well which was absolutely humiliating. I’m not upset at Morr over this though. There’s no way she could have known…

Anyway, once this woman made it clear we weren’t staying in her tavern I tried to leave, but she blocked me from doing so. She said that I’d brought a monster in town and that it was her “duty” to protect her customers. This lady tried to get the town’s guard involved just because I politely asked if I could bring my familiar inside. I don’t know how I managed to calm her down. I think guilt got the better of her, honestly. She decided to let us leave once I put a “leash” onto wolf, which was really just a bit of rope I had in my pack. But I guess once she saw how cold it was outside and she changed her mind. So… Maybe she’s not all bad. Then again, not wanting someone to freeze to death should be basic human decency. It doesn’t make you a good person.

I paid extra for our room, which really wasn’t much. She wanted a gold so I gave her a gold with the promise that I’d leave first thing in the morning. That’s exactly what I did, too. Kind of. We did end up sleeping in until noon which was NOT my intention, but the trip to Darrow was tiring and I kinda stayed up for awhile… In an emotional state… I’m just glad I wasn't alone. Wolf may not trust me enough to give me her name, but she does seem to care about my wellbeing. When she saw me crying she nuzzled her head into my lap and licked my face and stuff. It’s still bizarre that a creature as large as she is can act so… Normal, I guess?

It wasn’t hard to find Arthur once we started looking. Morr said he ran a little shop in town and there really weren’t all too many shops. Plus wolf was guiding me most of the way. It seemed like she knew where we were supposed to go, but she didn’t exactly seem happy about it. I asked her if Arthur was mean and she shook her head, but I got the impression she disliked something about him. It’s weird, but it’s almost as if I can like… Feel what she means. She can’t talk to me, and these feelings I get aren’t words exactly. They’re like… Emotions as well as something else I don’t know how to describe. I just understand her, I guess. Not much else to say other than that.

Arthur was kind enough, though. His shop is on the road leading out of town the opposite way I came in. I guess the main road goes from South City, passes through Darrow, and then continues on to Castleview. I know OF Castleview, but I don’t know anything about it really. Not that it’s important. I’m just jotting the little details down so I remember them better. It was decently busy. Most of the items for sale were potions and scrolls and things of that nature. Seemed like a magic shop for those who can’t cast themselves, since I didn’t see any spell components or anything else like that. Since it was a magic shop though, and since Morr and wolf know Arthur, I figured it’d be okay bringing her inside with me.

He was nice, though. A bit odd, but nice. Part of me thinks that everyone I meet who knows Morr is going to be a bit odd. There’s also a really good chance that I’m the odd one out, though. If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check your shoe and whatnot, right? I didn’t talk to him much, though. Only enough to prove that I did actually know Morr and that I was here to pick up the tome she needed. He was a little apprehensive giving it to me, considering I don’t know anything about anything in the world of the arcane. But he also said that if Morr had taken me under her wing I really must have something promising about me. From how he spoke of her it seems Morr is tied to the more advanced side of the arcane. Someone you’d have heard about if you studied spells like that, but not someone the average person knows. I don’t really know how much weight that has though.

We didn’t talk much after that, though I promised I’d give Morr his regards. After that me and wolf took our leave. The trip back took longer than the trip there, but all in all it was uneventful. The only real thing of note was that the storm outside really started picking up. It was basically a total white out outside. If it weren’t for wolf’s nose we probably would have gotten lost out there. But we did make it back, and Morr was very pleased with me. After I gave her the tome we sat down and had a real proper discussion about the terms of my pact and why she bothered to help me out at all. While I was gone she got a whole written contract made. I did ask her if I was allowed to write any of this down in my journal and she said I could, so long as I made sure none of it got into the wrong hand. I don’t really feel too comfortable writing all this down word per word though. For the sake of remembering I guess I’ll summarize it, but I don’t entirely trust myself to keep a book like this guarded at all times.

Basically, Morr’s job is to keep balance in the realm. More specifically she keeps a balance in the arcane side of things. How she does this she didn’t say, nor did she say what “balance” means. It sounds kind of presumptuous if you ask me, but at the same time I don’t know anything about magic aside from the fact it exists so… Who knows. Anyway, usually she’s fine on her own, but there’s a few “threats” that have popped up recently that she can’t deal with herself. So she’s been seeking help, specifically from people like me who are “unbiased in the realm of magic”. Again, don’t know what that means, but whatever. She seems to know what she’s talking about.

I guess there’s a lot of things and people and whatnot out there that threaten the realm’s magic, but the main driving force that got her looking for allies is some cultist group. She calls them the “Cult of the Forgotten King”, but I have a feeling that isn’t their real name. Long and short of it is that this group of people are trying to revive some death god. She called him a Lich. Her explanation of who he is and his goals is… Again, pretty vague. Something about bringing “an endless winter of darkness that will never fade and never weaken”. I don’t even know if Morr knows exactly what this guy is about. But I also know that Liches are usually evil undead monsters, so regardless of who he is or what he wants I can see why she wants to prevent his return.

Hearing all that was really daunting, and even now I’m not too sure what the hells I’ve gotten myself into. But I was assured and reassured that I would never be facing this Lich alone and that I’d never be given a task I couldn’t handle. She promised she wouldn’t just lead me to my death which is nice in theory, but in reality it just freaked me out more that she even had to promise that in the first place. It’s an overwhelming and terrifying thought that one day I might be dealing with a real life lich cult. But today isn’t that day, and neither is tomorrow or even the next tenday. For now my job is to learn how to use magic, which is fine by me.

The contract, though. To summarize, no hurting Morr’s allies, no discussing the terms of the pact with anyone unless specifically told, no discussing anything about Morr to anyone (unless they’re a KNOWN ally), I have to complete any task or errand or job she asks of me (assuming I’m able and no external circumstances make the task impossible). If I go against any of these the contract will be immediately terminated. But on her side of things she has to keep me protected to the best of her abilities (barring circumstances already listed above), continually teach me the ways of the arcane (assuming it’s necessary and/or helpful to my work).

It also goes into detail on how I could terminate the contract if I ever chose to. But if the contract is ever broken or terminated Morr will have nothing to do with me from that point on, I’ll be left on my own to survive without magic, and in the event this cult or any other threat she deals with on a day to day basis rears its ugly head she will not protect me from them. There was a bit more too, obviously. Like how she won’t ask me to do anything that goes against my values and how my duties will never be beyond my current capabilities. But that’s all kind of a give in reading the rest of the terms and whatnot.

The last thing we spoke about before I went to bed and started writing all this was what the tome she had me pick up was for. Nothing overly interesting unfortunately. It’s just an old book of spells from WELL before I was born. So old it’s written in a dead language. It has some pretty powerful spells in it I guess, but all in all it’s a spellbook like any other as far as I’m concerned. My first job was just a mundane delivery job. Though seeing as I don’t know any magic yet I guess that makes sense.

But yeah, that leads up to where I am now. Laying in bed noting all of this down while Wolf sleeps on the floor next to me. I offered her a spot on the bed, but she finds the floor more comfortable. She also doesn’t want to roll over on me in her sleep and suffocate me, which is uh… Considerate, I guess? I don’t know. I don’t really know how I feel about any of this, really. Part of me feels like I’m in way over my head, but the other part of me is glad I did it. All that talk of cultists and liches is really what had me worried, but now that I’m laying here thinking about it I’ve basically been assigned the duties of your average town guard. The Lich person hasn’t been revived yet, so in reality I’m just stopping delusional fanatics from being a nuisance. And learning magic. That’s what I’m excited about. I was never allowed to practice magic back home since it could have affected father’s work. But now that I’m free I can finally do whatever I want, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.

#lonechangeling #remythechangeling #dungeonsanddragons #faerun #roleplay #lonechangelingsjournal #creative writing #journal entry #fiction

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