#to be really fucking terrifying

[itsbrucey]

Big fan of sun motifs in characters not necessarily being about positivity and happiness and how they're so " bright and warm" but instead being about fucking brutal they are.

Radiant. A FORCE of nature that will turn you to ash. That warmth that burns so hot it feels like ice. Piercing yellow and red and white. A character being a Sun because you cannot challenge a Sun without burning alive or taking everything down with them if victorious.

#this post is inspired by my dnd oc Beacon. whom i am workshopping again #gonna turn him into a really like....duty driven but fucking BRUTAL paladin. #The sun also being necessary for life....for structures of society and culture. like.... cmon #The sun is fucking terrifying and yall should recognize that more #ALSO THIS IS A SMALL LOVE LETTER TO HOLLOW KNIGHT'S THE RADIANCE #I LOVE YOU QUEEN!!!! YOU'RE SO SCARY!!!!!! #we need more of Her.

[tradingjack]

From the firmament above, a blood-red eye looks down upon us.

#entered a fugue state at 3am and when i woke up after sleeping 12hrs later i found this on my computer #probably didnt help i was listening to every devil-related soundtrack kensuke ushio has made lmao #vash the stampede #trigun #trimax #listen listen listen. i love me a good ol goofy pathetic loser #but lord. do i also love it so so much when that same loser turns Absolutely Fucking Terrifying #you really fucked around and now you're gonna find out #manga #illustration #artists on tumblr #drawing #my art #comic #fanart #fuck me up el diablo

[everysongineverykey]

as part of the getting-worse-before-it-gets-better portion of aziraphale and crowley's season 3 relationship arc we NEED a desperate "i love you" from aziraphale met with a hissed, spiteful, and quickly regretted "i forgive you" from crowley

#good omens #ineffable divorce #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #i really want things to get as bad as they can possibly get before their relationship #is saved and actualized if you couldn't tell. #like yes i want them to make up and have a big fabulous kiss together sheltered under a canopy in the rain #and then spend the rest of their eternity together on earth in blissful love #but i also want them to be really unstable for a bit #spiteful crowley. aziraphale blurting out a confession no buildup no apology #because he thinks that'll fix everything. #more miscommunication to give more weight to their final climactic episode where they actually work things out. #crowley has to give him a lift and they start arguing and he blasts queen in the bentley #and takes them careening down oxford street at 120 miles per hour #grinning and laughing manically while aziraphale screams and hangs onto the baby basket he's holding #containing the second coming of jesus for dear life. #crowley just terrifying him to spite him. #i want them to do and say fucked up things to each other! do you get it?

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[starrylevi]

Dad!Levi 💫

Dad!Levi who pushes the stroller when you’re both out

Dad!Levi who gets all the chores done around the house while having the baby strapped to his chest

Dad!Levi who literally takes care of everything the first few months after you giving birth

Dad!Levi who packs the baby’s bag whenever you both leave the house because somehow you always manage to leave something but Levi never does

Dad!Levi who tries every diaper brand before picking the one he deems is the best for your child

Dad!Levi who bundles up your child as if they’re going to experience a blizzard their first day out in the cold

Dad!Levi who cuts your child’s hair himself because he doesn’t trust anyone else

Dad!Levi who internally freaks out every time your child gets sick

Dad!Levi who seems to be the stricter parent but is actually the biggest softie and lets your child indulge once in a while

Dad!Levi who doesn’t let just anyone take care of your child. They’re always properly vetted or are a well trusted friend

Dad!Levi who teaches your child to be scrappy and resourceful so no one messes with them when they first attend school

Dad!Levi who’s in charge of bath and nighttime routines

Dad!Levi with a sunshine child who is absolutely obsessed with him even though everyone else fears him

Dad!Levi who doesn’t get upset with his children’s messes because how else will they learn how to clean up

Dad!Levi who makes sure he is gentle with his little boy knowing the world was never gentle with him

Dad!Levi who holds his little girl close, reminding him of his time with his mother

Dad!Levi who just cares about raising good humans not soldiers

Dad!Levi who doesn’t punish your children but teaches them lessons

Dad!Levi who tries his hardest to be the best father since he never thinks he’s good enough

Dad!Levi who loves your children with every fiber of his being as they are healing his inner child

#no thoughts just thinking about dad!levi and how in love he would actually be with being a dad #of course he would be terrified at first and feel like he’s not ready or he’s going to suck at it and really fuck ‘‘em up but he doesn’t #absolutely love the idea of him with a little girl omggggg #levi #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi x y/n #levi headcanons #dad!levi #manda writes

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

How You Turn My World; Chapter 4

You finally find your way into the labyrinth, coming across some new and old faces; both friendly and malicious.

Character; Lilia Vanrouge

Content; Gender-neutral reader, reader is getting tired of being stuck here and smelling like a bog

Content Warnings; Swearing, some talk of death, reader passes out

Word Count; 2.2 K

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |

As per usual, don't put my work into AI.

You were finally making some decent progress, what, with not being stuck in some bog and knowing somewhat of where you were going. A vast improvement really! Well, it would be, but unfortunately, you still reeked of rotten eggs and skunk — apparently the bog stench only got worse the longer it stayed on.

“Why did it have to dump me into the swamp,” you huffed, rounding yet another corner. “Like, it could have dumped me beside the water, but, no, no, let’s dump the magicless human right into the putrid bog water! A good guffaw, don’t you think? Ha ha ha HA!”

At least your au de Bog of Eternal Stench kept any would-be assailants away since you hadn’t run into anything (besides a rose bush, ouch) since you started making your way through the labyrinth. So maybe it wasn’t all that bad… damn, maybe your sense of smell was just used to it… hey, if stink helps you not die, then you would gladly stay stinky! Well, bitterly stay stinky is more like it.

“Assholes,” you muttered, rounding another corner. 

But it wasn’t a corner; it was a crossroad. Three paths merged off of the one you were on.

… aren’t labyrinths just one long line? THIS IS A FUCKING MAZE?! You groaned, looking at your possible options which all looked exactly the same.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Of course nothing is easy here, no no no! Gotta make things difficult now.

The hedge behind you rustled, and you whipped around, getting into a stance where you could either land a pretty good sucker punch to the hedge-stalker or make a mad dash away. But out of the hedge crawled out a small, fuzzy, caterpillar. And back at home you would have thought it was cute, but you learned your lesson from the doors; don’t trust it, or anyone for that matter.

You looked down at the caterpillar, and the caterpillar looked up at you, blinking slowly. 

What are the chances… 

“Do you know a way out,” you asked the caterpillar, crouching down so that you didn’t tower over it.

The caterpillar blinked at you again (apparently caterpillars in the Underground have eyelids, which isn’t the weirdest thing considering everything). “No,” it chirped and continued crawling on its merry way, wherever that may be. “But you’ll find the way.” And it disappeared into the growth of the maze, humming a little tune to itself.

You sighed, and pushed yourself back up, straightening out your shoulders and looking up to the sky. “I’ll find a way,” you breathed, looking up at the cloudless sky which was starting to turn a brilliant amber with the setting sun. “I might want to find a way is more like it.”

You looked back down to the ground, looking at the three paths in front of you. They all look the same, save for the ground making up paths themselves, with the middle and right paths looking well worn with travel. And while they may be well worn, there was a voice at the back of your head that was whispering caution. The left-most path was not as well travelled, with dead vines covering parts of it.

“Hopefully you’re right, little buddy since I could use all the luck I can get.” And you made your way down the path, hoping that it was the correct one and didn’t lead you to your death or some other unpleasant thing.

…

…

Lilia was at the entrance of the labyrinth, in front of the two doors.

“Have you seen a human, about this tall, a bit of a temper, and smelling foul,” he asked the doors.

The doors looked at each other before looking at Lilia. “And what’s it to you,” they said in unison.

Lilia smiled, but it was one of mild annoyance, not joy or amusement. “Royal orders I fear. You wouldn’t want the mistress finding out about you both tampering with a royal matter, would you?” The smile turned cat-like since Lilia had backed them into a corner.

The doors paled, with the blue door speaking up. “No no, sir! We would never dream of such a thing!!! Yes, there was a human, a wretched one at that, horribly rude!”

Lilia hummed, cocking a brow at the door. “I do think wretched is a bit of an overstatement now,” he whispered to himself. “Well, tell me where about they are then. The sooner I can collect them, the better for you lot.”

The red door sighed, “Near the heart of it, they took the left path.”

Left path? Why the left path leads to… Shit. Lilia mentally groaned, knowing that regardless of the path you took, you would end up having to deal with them eventually. “Your cooperation has been noted,” is what he said though, giving the doors both a nod before turning into a bat and flying over the labyrinth, trying to find you before you ran into whoever them was.

“Please be clever enough not to die,” he whispered to no one, hoping that he didn’t have to deliver your body to the Queen.

…

…

The left path brought you to what looked like a forest; with old-growth trees, ferns and moss covering the ground, and a list mist hanging in the air. It was peaceful and beautiful, with the setting sun illuminating the mist without burning it away.

But that would not last, night was fast approaching and you had nothing to protect you this time; no rowan tree to haul your ass up, and no sort of weapon to protect yourself besides the oh-so-lovely smell of the bog to deter something from eating you. You were pretty sure it would also keep away anything that wanted to otherwise snatch you up.

“AH!” Something jumped out from a tree, and you couldn’t fully register what it was since you were also screeching, much like the creature was at you; you with fright, the creature with amusement and joy.

Two other creatures jumped out from behind the trees and startled cackling, jumping, and clapping. Together, they surrounded you, with no way to really escape them without fighting through.

… you really should have read about fae species, since you didn’t know what they exactly were, or how dangerous they were either. 

One pulled you near a pit and lit a fire, cackling in glee and dancing, trying to get you to join them. “Ah come on, human, have some fun! DANCE BABEY!!!!”

But you stayed still as more creatures came out of the shadows, dancing around the fire, giggling, cackling, and pulling a bit at your clothes to prompt you to join them. You didn’t know, cementing your feet down, your eyes watching their movements with caution.

‘Should you dance with the fae, you shall not stop dancing until you exhaust yourself. And once you wake up, you will continue dancing. This cycle will repeat itself until you dance to death.’ 

At least that was what the book said, and so you stayed still, regardless of how much the creatures pulled at you. While it looked like a grand old time, you remained where you were.

“I don’t have time for dancing,” you answered coldly, flinching from pinching fingers. You were also a bit shocked that Eau de Bog of Eternal Stench wasn’t keeping them away. Either, they couldn’t smell, or, they didn’t care that you smelled downright awful. “So this ‘baby’ won’t dance.”

And should I be offended by you calling me ‘baby’ or am I reading too much into it?

The main creature just shrugged and spun its dancing partner around. “Your loss human! More fun for us then! YIPPEE!!!” And it threw something in the fire to where you could feel the heat on your face.

What now? You were just standing there awkwardly as the creatures danced about, singing something that you couldn’t really make out. All you knew was that the heat, noise, and the dizzying dance of them was making your head pound, and throat scream in thirst. You hadn’t drank anything for over a day(?) — no, bog water did not count — and the heat from the fire made the thirst only worse. Shit.

“Ah, you don’t look too… hot there human,” one of the creatures snickered at its own joke at your expense. “Maybe if you dance with us, loosen up and have a bit of fun, then you can have a drink? Hmm? Dancing won’t kill you!” But its failed attempts at covering up its own malicious giggles were more than enough to stand your ground… which was coming at you quite fast since you practically collapsed.

Was it the thirst? The pounding migraine that wanted nothing more than to crawl into some dark hole and hide? Or your exhaustion from making that tiring trek, crawling yourself out of the bog and making the trek again, or the hours you had spent wandering around the maze with no real idea of where you were going? All you really knew was that you were now on the ground with the creatures poking at you to see if you were still alive.

“Aw, man! Are they already dead? That’s no fun!” One of the creatures pouted, raising up your arm, and you let it plop back to the ground. “Come on human! Get up! You’re not a party pooper are you?”

Scre you buddy! Can’t you read the situation?!

You were trying your best to stay quiet, which wasn’t all that hard, since all of your energy was gone. 

“They best not be,” a familiar voice called out.

From your position, you couldn’t see who it was, but you could make out the creatures jumping away from you like you were the hot fire instead of the fire pit. But someone else was approaching until you could make out a pair of shoes in front of your face.

They crouched down beside you, placing their fingers gently at the base of your throat; taking your pulse. “Hmph, playing dead, are we, Beastie?”

That irritating chuckle. The annoying nickname. Those mischievous magenta eyes that now looked at you with curiosity and amusement.

It was him — Mr. Sparkles.

And he had just blown your act of playing possum (well, not really, since you had actually collapsed).

But you didn’t say anything, instead favouring to give him a dirty look. Yet he just shook his head in jest, and proceeded to pick you up and wrap you around his shoulders and neck like some sort of bizarre ermine pelt; better than being carried like a sack of potatoes or the bridal carry you supposed.

“Her majesty sends her regards for not turning or killing her guest,” Lilia offered the creatures. It would be such a waste and pity to see such an entertaining Beastie leave us too soon now. “But do know she won’t take to their condition lightly.”

My condition? I’m not some Victorian child with some unknown illness wreaking havoc on their body you know?! But all that you did was groan and cough. You couldn’t even cough in Mr. Sparkles’ (Lilia’s) face, since you had a lovely view of the moss-covered ground and the fae’s shoes.

He patted the back of your calves, and you would have kicked him if you had more energy, but you didn’t. “Now, we really should be off, since Beastie has… an hour to get out of this maze before they turn into some sort of worm, or a hedge; never know what this old labyrinth will decide on really.” Lilia chuckled at the thought (was it merriment, or was he happy that you weren’t joining the caterpillar you met earlier?).

“No,” you wheezed. “WoRm!”

“See! They said it themself! No worm! How lovely that we are on a similar wavelength, Beastie! Marvellous even!” Lilia exclaimed, and the both of you started levitating off of the ground. “Now, do enjoy your party, Fireys!”

The creatures (Fireys apparently) groaned but got back to their party, dancing around the fire like they didn’t just try to lure you to your death mere minutes before.

“Tsk tsk, Beastie,” Lilia’s tutting brought your attention back to him and you grumbled. “You owe me two favours now, you know. Lucky that I found you… although that part wasn’t hard. I thought you learned your lesson the first time you decided to take a dip into the Bog of Eternal Stench?”

You lightly kicked him, letting your irritation be known, but Lilia just hummed. “Now now, no need to be like that! Do you want to smell like a bog when you meet the mistress? She wouldn’t take kindly to your… unique aroma.”

You hissed out a breath since he decided to pinch at your ear rather harshly — prompting for you to answer. “No,” you whispered hoarsely.

“Also, do read up on that book, since you will want to know about the government and fae species etiquette!”

From a smelly bog and fumbling around a maze for hours on end, to finding yourself being taken to fae high society… was it too late to become some worm in the maze? I think being a worm actually has a better chance of me living.

But sadly, you were saved from an eternity of being a worm. Hopefully, Mr. Sparkles (Lilia) would cover for your blunders a little for when you found yourself in front of ‘the mistress’.

...

...

...

...

To be continued!

~~~~~~~

Tags; @afunkyfreshblog @cheezy-moon @eynnwwyjth @identity-theft-101 @ithseem @lucid-stories @ryker-writes @twistwonderlanddevotee @xxoomiii

Link to Masterlist

#twst #twst x reader #twst x gn reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x gn reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia vanrouge x gn reader #yup! we're moving away from the labyrinth but fret not! the shenanigans shall continue and relationships will be built! #i forgot how fucking terrifying the fireys are and i now remember way labyrinth gave me nightmares as a kid #twst labyrinth au #also i shit you not i went to go eat at a burger joint last week and 'magic dance' was playing and i lost my fricking mind #like HELLO?! WHAT THE HELL?! #apparently the radio was telling me to fricking work on this fic... #i should really start posting this on ao3 as well... but idk where this is going to go #also posting a standalone fic (oneshot?) tomorrow; you guys will be eating good for a bit. here some crumbs for you and for you and for you

[sorrelpaws]

no offense but i genuinely fear that their potential dynamic will go severely underutilized

#rick and morty #morty smith #prime rick #my biggest fear continues to be 'morty gets kidnapped by prime to bait c137' #because i think it could just. be so much more neat if morty and prime actually formed some kind of relationship independently. good OR bad #like idk imagine if morty is coaxed to join primes side out of some misguided attempt to protect his family #would sure be fitting for a character that clearly values his family and their safety idk!!! #and like. god imagine what morty mighjt think of prime #like he currently only has rick's perspective of prime. and obviously whether he wants to or not he sort of Has to rely on what rick says #idk imagine morty meets prime and hes like damn this dude is pretty cool. whether its because prime is putting on a deliberate act #or morty just Genuinely Thinks he's cool #ohhhhhhh imagine this is how they bring the morty mindwipe thing back. #prime would b like 'did you know c137 left the parts of you that disagree with him in a video game? isnt that fucked up morty' #theres just so much TO DOOO and im so terrified of NONE of this happening #bcs the writers seem to be physically incapable of prioritizing anyone but rick #LIKE GOD PLEASEEEE i know they only care abt the redditor audience BUT PLEASE do something ANYTHING with morty im about to start crying #went on a little rant lol sorry. can you tell i really like morty.

[kittimau]

don't get me wrong I love unhinged feral disaster characters but may I submit: the calm, collected, master of resting nothing-fazes-me bitchface character gradually being pushed to their breaking point, slowly and agonizingly becoming more deranged as the foundation they've built their worldview, their entire identity, upon crumbles to pieces beneath them, until all that's left is blood and ash and the beast that's lied dormant within the darkest depths of their soul finally, gleefully awakens to unleash absolute fucking hell, mmm yeah that's the good stuff

#ngl i was thinking of nbc's hannibal when i wrote this lol #but i kinda really wanna write a sith!obi-wan au just to break him down and build him back up evil #because that would be fucking terrifying #and extremely sexy #dark fiction #dark fic #character development #character arcs #character archetypes #writing #fiction #tropes

[elbdot]

Hello I am back with more lore questions about your comics if u wanna answer 👀 (I looked back, but couldn't find this mentioned so sorry if I just missed it 😅)

I was curious since the comic starts after all the main plot stuff has happened: we know El is the Champ of the Alola League, but did she also do the island challenge trials like in the game or was she just traveling around with Hau while he did his? If she did do the trials did you make up a reason why the kahunas would let her, despite being well over the age limit for it? If she didn't was there some other motivation for her building her team up enough that she could beat the league when it was finished?

We're basically playing out the original story of SM with some changes!

Originally El just wanted a FUCKING VACATION and came from Hoenn after receiving a letter from her mom, to come to Alola and help her move into their newly bought appartement. But then Kukui busted through the door to welcome them and El's mom insisted on her coming with Kukui to get to know the locals while she'd continue setting up the place in the meantime. El didn't have any of her old Pokemon with her, as she heard of the strict laws of letting "invasive species" into Alola and she didn't want to deal with the paperwork, especially since she assumed she'd only stay in Alola for 2-3 weeks at best. Kukui showed her the way to Iki Town, talked about their customs, wanted to introduce her to the island Kahuna. When they couldn't find him, Kukui suggested he might be up Mahalo Trail, but stays behind in case Hala might come back from Hauoli City instead. El checks it out, she meets Lillie, the saving-Nebby-scene plays out where Tapu Koko rescues Nebby and El, El unexpectedly receives the sparkling stone from Tapu Koko that Hala makes a Z-Ring out of. Due to the incident, Hala encourages El to partake in one of Alolas oldest traditions as a way to get accustomed to Alolas culture but also to welcome her into it and keep an eye on her, with Halas and Kukuis interest being sparked by the appearance of their deity. The fact that she's way over the age of regular trial goers is not a problem, Tapu Koko must have given her that stone for a reason so Hala simply follows the will of the Tapus and is interested to see how El's journey will play out.

El feels honored being so welcomed by the Kahuna himself and is also too polite to decline partaking in the island challenge, even though she wasn't really interested in going on anther journey and building a new team of Pokemon...wasn't this supposed to be a vacation aside from helping out her mom??

But her mother is surprisingly supportive of El going on the island challenge, as she feared strangers like them from Kalos might have a hard time fitting in and making friends with the locals. She's okay with El not being able to help out setting up the house, as in her opinion "You're doing your part by learning everything you can about the region and getting to know our new neighbors."

After getting to know Hau the next day during a Festival in Iki Town, El starts to feel more like Hala specifically put them together so someone would keep an eye on Hau while the old Kahuna is unable to. Babysitting it is then. GREAT. But the innocent sweet little sunshine that is our Malasada Boy QUICKLY grows on El and she takes looking after him VERY SERIOUSLY and becomes the Mom-friend of the group. She downright enjoys looking after the shy Lillie and the joyful Hau while getting to see so many of Alolas amazing sights. She also greatly enjoys Kukuis company I might add...

Until she finds out he's taken. FUCK. GODDAMNIT. OF COURSE HE FUCKING IS AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG "No Hau I'm not depressed. No I don't act strangely hostile towards Burnet what are you talking about nooooooo pass me the Malasada Hau. EW. It's BITTER. WHY'D THEY SELL THAT. I HATE IT HERE"

Don't worry, she recovers... El really starts to get into the challenge after a while. She was never a fan of challenging Gyms and greatly enjoys the different Trials she gets to go on instead. Alola quickly becomes her favorite region for the lush beautiful nature, the incredibly kind people and the Pokemon she meets along the way. Her team is unbalanced, but that's what makes her grow more closely together with her Pokemon than any previous team she had before. Beating trainers is a challenge due to the many bug-and flying-types on her team, she has to strategize more than ever before to make it work and be able to defeat the Kahunas. Her Oricorio Sweets would become her Partner Pokemon in the end, when she survived multiple hits from Kukuis Incineroar, holding on to 1 HP multiple times because of how determined the little bird was and how much she loved her trainer, defeating Incineroar in the end.

(This was my OG Team, only Sweets and my Golisopod Titan made it into the comics in the end, her Decidueye and Vikavolt are on Mohn's Pelago, Fletchinder I'd actually still like to include at some point)

El didn't expect to stay in Alola. She didn't expect to build a new team or even join the League or becoming CHAMPION of all things... Let's be real, Kukui didn't really give her much of a choice in joining. After Hau and El finished their island challenge, it was more of a "might as well join the League I just finished building" from the Professor, since before it was built, the final challenge WOULD have taken place on Mount Lanakila anyway. But what surprised El the most, was the fact that, after winning, she was offered the position of Champion by Kukui at all. IF she would have won, she thought, surely they'd not let a stranger like her actually keep the title and defend it. But NOPE. All hail Alolas first champion El I suppose. And with this, it was clear that El had to extend her stay in the region. For an...unforseeable time.

#els alolan adventures #pokemon trainer #pokemon oc #mod #reply #Oh yeah and Team Skull was there too I guess Teehee #They are. Not really that important for this ask tbh LMAO #There's not much to say aside from El being confused but amused by the presence of Team Skull #Until she meets Guz and is TERRIFIED what the fUCK IS THIS GUYS DEAL

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

if you're one of those people who are like "oh my god im so ocd!!" and then you just like to be organized, shut the fuck up. literally shut the FUCK up. You have no fucking idea what its like. Its like being trapped in a mental prison. Its being called weird and ridiculed by my own family because i have to wash my hands between helpings of food or because i have to run out of the bathroom when i flush the toilet or because even when i smell something awful i have to breath through my nose instead of my mouth because if i breath through my mouth it feels like i can taste it. Its developing conditions that accompany it, like excoriation disorder which makes me dig into my nails so hard they're permanently fucked up and look ghastly and sometimes even bleed and which means i have scabs on my head all the fucking time because i pick at them constantly, or misophonia which makes me flinch at every trigger sound, it gets so bad to the point where i start hitting myself and had to move away from walls because i was sure i was going to bang my head against one. hard. It's having violent intrusive thoughts, sick intrusive thoughts, thoughts that make you stay up into all hours of the night and fret over whether you're a good person, thoughts that make you think about death all the time. your own death, death of loved ones, how people will die, how people will react to you dying. It's having morality ocd, which makes you hate yourself more than anything after any minor mess up. It changes your life. Its fucking hard to live with. so i never want to hear "oh I'm so ocd" from people who aren't actually ocd ever a-fucking-gain.

#the misophonia is so fucking bad today i am terrified i am going ti bang my head against the wall really hard #this post needed to be made #ocd #actually ocd #misophonia #morality ocd #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #skin picking disorder #intrusive thoughts #mental illness #mental illness awareness #awareness post #vent post #sheba lore

[bixels]

I feel like I've seen most of what interests me in FiMFiction for the time being, so I read through some good ol' reliable Stardew Valley fanfics last night, only to realize.

Haley x Female Farmer is basically Rarijack. Rarijack adjacent.

#personal #delete later #not art #unfortunate that i'm really not into the BIG popular ships in stardew #like. i downloaded talkohlooey's character sprites for my sdv because the men just look so much better #with talkohlooey sebastian actually looks like a cute guy i'd wanna date. default seb looks like a very very specific white boy. #like. the mod of an anime community discord server. #he looks like every white anime fan i knew in high school who very intentionally tried to look and dress more asian #so unfortunately i'm not really into any of the male bachelors. They are All White. #I went after Alex at first but he's a white bread jock. #So I'm really not interested in ships with Shane or Elliot or Sebastian which make up 2/3 of the romance fics #I do think Harvey is cute he has a lot of personality and he's a sweetheart #stardew expanded has victor AND olivia which is such a fucking win. Asians fuck yeah #I usually pursue Penny. Fluttershy vibes lmao #hopefully chocolatier has some dateable men who Aren't White. #Really can't recommend Talkohlooey's sprites more. Fantastic art style AND character design direction to boot. They made Emily Not #Terrifying Looking which is incredible. #still wish you could date the milfs though who said that #i said it. i'm fessing up. why did concernedape put all these women in unfulfilling marriages with mediocre/crappy men #what are you getting at.

[journal-from-the-heart]

i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal

#like. recently i’ve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7 #he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them #than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was #so focused on the fact that it could’ve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times #but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute #that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never should’ve had to deal with that and it’s clear that i still have a lot of problems #from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more i’m able to be compassionate to myself now #and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened #childhood trauma #trauma #cptsd healing #cptsd recovery #cptsdawareness #trauma survivor #trauma recovery

[muffin-artz3]

I know it's been a little while since the Trigun Stampede hype has ended but, I can't get this main criticism out of my head after reading the manga--- I wish that they had made hints about Vash's willpower to restrain his anger.

In Stampede, he has the meek pacifist down, but he is mostly led by guilt. He doesn't hurt people because he thinks the planets' issues are all his fault and wants some form of punishment. In a way, it's self-inflicted flogging, which is what Knives says in the last few episodes of season 1.

In Maximum, he has guilt, but he also has a temper and often says that he does have thoughts of wanting to kill his enemies. But every single time, he still doesn't kill the object of his anger.

I think Maximums version of Vash pacifism is so much more meaningful. It's not self pity, it pure determination.

In Max, he actually feels like something that isn't human, and he is so scary if you really think about it from the normal human perspective. He is an other worldly angel/eldritch creature and he WILLINGLY chooses not to hurt people---when he has good reason too--- and instead offers kindness and second chances.

Since Stampde is supposed to be following Maximum closer than the 98 anime, I was hoping that they would still show that side of him. Who knows, maybe they will touch on it in the second season.

#vash the stampede #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun manga #trigun maximum #but really #vash is fucking terrifying #but he is oh so kind #i finally get why meryl screamed in fear of him #and i also understand her sadness in being scared of him as well #the fucking duality of this manga man #ill never be the same #im sorry stamp but maximum is superior in every way

[daydadahlias]

the sudden surge of celebrity ai generated photos being posted by fans on twitter right now is actually terrifying. imagine going online and seeing photos of yourself in situations you've never been in because people just feel entitled enough to your body to create those images and post them.

#IM LIKE REALLY FREAKED OUT #BY ALL OF THEM #and im not gonna lie and say i didnt go immediately make one to see how it works but #jesus fuck #im like #wow #people posting those photos with no context and other people replying 'omg where is this from' DUDE ITS NOT REAL #this is a terrifying world we live in rn.

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

#asks #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #marcille donato #manga panel analysis #this is probably riddled with typos sorry #readmore cut bc it got long lmao #i ended up babbling about it bc it's such an important character detail to me #bc like... wow. she's so normal about it. she's literally just chilling. #the only thing that really bothers her is the material reality of it and how people treat her #the stereotypes the stigma etc. etc. #otherwise it just.. #literally doesn't factor into her criteria for self-worth at all #the basic truth is that marcille likes herself on a fundamental level #she's not plagued by a deep and festering self-loathing the way a lot of characters in her archetype are #she likes herself and is proud of her successes and accomplishments #its just that shes terrified of failure and can have *episodes* of self-loathing when she fucks up #but who doesn't yknow #i know its a very slight nuance that makes very little difference in how her 'overachiever' problems manifest but its there #the sword of abandonment issues that hangs over her head has nothing to do with her self-worth or self-esteem or meeting her own standards #it has to do with the fear of not living up to *other* people's expectations and not being useful enough to be worth keeping around #she's good enough for herself but she's always so so so scared that she's not good enough for other people #i wont say much about what ryoko kui is saying using this as an allegory for real world racial biases but #dungeon meshi's treatment of marcille's relationship with her being half-elf is so incredibly important to me because it gets it so right. #a trauma about inferiority or being a half-being isn't inherent to the experience of being 'of two worlds' at all #that's something that's unfairly drilled into people by their environment #the *inherent* anguish is the loneliness. the constant longing. the fact that you are always homesick no matter where you are #always just a little bit of an outsider and never fully at home #and dungeon meshi gets that. #edit: cleaned it up a little

[panthermouthh]

Trying so hard to keep a Normal expression on my face while listening to the Frankenstein audiobook in work

#how am I meant to be normal about this man #hearing the creatures story with the cottage spoken out loud really makes it that much more tragic #and the subsequent melt downs fucking terrifying #Frankenstein