#to believe. ‘each time you hurt i don’t want you to change / because everyone has hopes you’re human after all’ help. they may believe

[inuyashaluver]

seeing nimah with the baby was so cute! would you ever write nimah x reader maybe they visit reader’s family and they see how nimah interacts with the little one then they start asking reader about when they want kids but it’s not something reader and nimah have discussed so reader thinks nimah’s discomfort around the issue is because she doesn’t want kids but nimah just doesn’t know how to express that she wants to start thinking about their future so hurt/comfort and the common misunderstanding trope! Just an idea I had an wanted to share 🤍

are you kidding? - niamh charles

niamh charles x reader

description: in which you and niamh both want kids but are unsure how to express it

warnings: little tears, swearing, IM RUSTY

a/n: again, how do you people expect me to see a picture and react normally, I LOVE THIS WOMAN, thank you so so much for the request, much love, enjoy!!

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

it was rare that you and your girlfriend, niamh, had a disagreement. the two of you were very big on communication and outwardly expressing your feelings if you were angry, uncomfortable, sad, it didn’t matter.

talking for the two of you has always been important ever since the two of you started dating.

this was mainly due to the fact of niamh being hopeless when it came to flirting with you. you believing for a long time that she didn’t like you.

—

the girl was hopeless around you, not knowing how to act around you even though she’d known you ever since the england youth camps.

you always flirted with her and she didn’t know how to react, she’d be cocky at first but immediately faltered when you’d send her a charming smile. especially when she signed to your team chelsea back in 2020.

“hey, niamhy” you smiled kindly at her as you entered the chelsea change rooms, seeing niamh chatting along with zećira.

they both stop the conversation when they see you, niamh pink in the cheeks at seeing your sweet smile.

“hey, (y/n/n)” she breathes out, watching as you make your way over to both her and zećira. “hey, any plans for later? there’s a new cafe down the street that i want to try” you ask, making sure to look at niamh directly when you asked the question.

zećira chuckles at niamh’s surprised expression, sending you a little wink, niamh swallows, “i’m free, are you free?” she turns to zećira, “no, no, i’m not sorry” zećira grins, you smile at both of them expectantly.

this wasn’t the first time you had attempted to ask niamh on a date, the brunette always managing to bring someone else along to make it a group hangout rather than just the two of you.

“niamh” you call out, meeting her blue eyes with a sheepish smile, “i was hoping it would just be us two” niamh’s eyebrows raise slightly, both of your hearts pulsing with anticipation.

“oh” she chuckles nervously, “okay, let’s do it” she utters, “it’s a date” you wink, walking out of the change room, as you were already changed.

niamh watches you go and as soon as she sees your frame out of the door, she slaps zećira harshly on the leg.

“ow! what?” she winces, shoving niamh back, “i’m going on a fucking date” niamh exclaims, fiddling with the end of her shorts.

“it’s a good thing niamhy” niamh nods unconvinced, she’s been crushing on you ever since she was 15. how could you like her back?

and of course the date went well, once you outwardly told niamh that you actually liked her, the cocky, confident niamh that made you shy came out.

—

you and niamh had been dating for just over 3 years, both of you moved in and were extremely loved up with each other.

it was a sunny day in london when your family arranged a gathering with a bunch of your family members.

part of your invitation was with the insistence that your girlfriend came along, a family favourite for everyone.

“don’t you look gorgeous” niamh grinned as she watched you adjust your outfit in front of the mirror, coming over and standing behind you with her arms wrapped around your waist.

you smile and lean back into her when she presses a kiss to your cheek, “you look beautiful, baby” you grin at her in the mirror, letting her spin you to press a sweet kiss to your lips.

“ready to go?” she murmured against your lips, you nod, pecking her lips quickly and grabbing both of her hands.

“my family is a lot, if it gets too much, we can leave, okay?” niamh rolls her eyes fondly, kissing your forehead quickly before pulling you into a little hug.

“love, i’m fine” she assured, dragging you to the car excitedly at the thought of spending time with you and your family.

she squeezes your thigh excitedly as she drove, letting you give her a game plan on how to approach each and every family member in attendance, chuckling to herself that you did this every time she met them.

—

you grip her hand tightly when you reached the door of your aunt’s house, niamh giving your hand three squeezes for reassurance.

you look at her with a bright smile, about to ask for a kiss until the door was thrusted open by your aunt looking extremely tired.

“hello, lovebirds!” she grins, you and niamh returning the greeting with kisses to the cheeks and tight hugs.

niamh places a hand on the small of your back as you both went around and did the rounds, engaging in conversation after conversation with both of you sporting bright smiles.

“so niamh, are you looking after our girl?” one of your uncles said, you smile shyly when niamh presses a kiss to your temple, pulling you closer to her side.

“always, she has to take care of me more because she’s an angel” she smiles down at you, eyes full of adoration, drinking in your pink cheeks.

—

before the food even came out, you dragged niamh to the side of the backyard with a heavy sigh, thumping your forehead on her collarbone.

she chuckles, her arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer, “you okay?” she whispers next to your ear, you mumble a yes against her, your arms going around her neck to hug her tightly before your name was screamed from the kitchen.

you groan, trying to hold on to niamh but the brunette pushed you back slightly, kissing you quickly and ushering you to help out.

you pout at her but leave reluctantly, knowing the longer you weren’t in that kitchen, the longer the lecture and you’d rather avoid one altogether.

niamh walked around your aunt’s backyard and settled in with the kids playing football. the kids always loved niamh and she’d often resort to them rather than the adults for some fun.

“niamhy, play with us!” one of your younger cousins grabbed her hand and dragged her over, smiling up at her with a toothy grin. niamh was quick to agree, smiling equally as excited.

“niamhy, you’re not kicking right” one of your cousins grumbled, she giggled brightly, apologising and letting the small boy adjust her movements the way he wanted.

it was until one of your much younger cousins, a one year old, was thrusted into niamh’s arms that she slowed down her movements.

the baby uncommonly fell asleep on niamh’s shoulder as soon as she was perched on her hip, much to the surprise of your family.

the baby was usually a handful and found it difficult to fall asleep. but niamh managed to get her to sleep in two minutes.

she was turned into a referee quickly and took her job seriously, only letting them get away with little fouls because they were having so much fun.

the kids all loved her, and so did the adults. niamh’s bright smile was hard to miss when you came back outside with platters of food.

you place the food down on the table and take in the scene in front of you. niamh with a baby on her hip while she giggled and refereed the game. to say your ovaries exploded was an understatement.

“that will be you soon” your aunt teases, you give her an expression of shock, stuttering on your words saying niamh wasn’t ready for kids, as the two of you hadn’t really discussed it.

both of you knew you wanted to spend forever together, that was common knowledge. but kids just hadn’t been brought up yet, you’d shown an interest but niamh ever really expressed a huge interest.

she’d coo over her friend’s kids, your family, her family but you never knew if she wanted some of her own.

niamh did want kids of her own but she didn’t know how to express it to you, not really knowing how you felt about them.

everyone got ushered to the table and niamh’s face brightened when she saw you, walking over to you gently to keep your cousin sleeping soundly against her.

she greets you with a soft kiss before she pulled out your chair with one hand, winking when you took your seat.

she sits down carefully, eating with your cousin sleeping soundly on her shoulder. “here, baby, let me hold her for a bit so you can eat” you offer but niamh shakes her head, letting go of her fork and holding your hand for a second.

“i’m okay, i’m the chosen one” she grins at you, you giggle, leaning over to kiss her cheek softly before you eventually end up feeding her the food on her plate because she was so focused on keeping your cousin comfortable.

—

when you both made it to the car after the gathering, you and niamh both let out a heavy sigh when you sat down, quickly breaking into a fit of giggles.

“high five, we did it” you chuckle when niamh holds her hand out to you, you slap her hand with yours, niamh’s fingers moving to interlace your fingers, pulling your hand to her mouth to press a gentle kiss over the back of it.

“we did it” you grin at her cheekily, niamh not missing the twinkle in your eye as you looked at her. “why are you looking at me like that?” niamh breathes out, cheeks turning a little pink at your look of adoration.

“nothing” you shrug, ushering her to start the car, she narrows her eyebrows at you but gives in, lacing your hands together and starting the car.

“you were so good with my cousins today, you know?” you glance over at her nervously, “they’re all so cute, i love spending time with them” she grins while watching the road, what she didn’t see was the tears brimming in your eyes.

you were overwhelmed with emotion for some reason, really wishing seeing niamh with the kids were your own.

it was until she heard a sniffle and felt the loosened grip of your hand in hers that she noticed. she glanced over quickly and panicked, thankfully able to park on the side of the road.

“babe?” niamh calls out softly, holding your hand tightly and taking off her seatbelt quickly. she ducks her head to make eye contact with you but you couldn’t look at her, overwhelmed with the feeling of embarrassment.

“hey” she gives your hand a squeeze, her free hand directing your jaw to look at her, meeting her eyes with a tearful expression.

“what’s wrong, my love?” you shake your head at her, letting out another sniffle, “nothing, i’m fine” you attempt to reassure her but she knows you too well, knowing you better than herself.

“baby, talk to me” she pleadingly whispers, you let out a shaky sigh, letting your girlfriend gently brush away the tears flowing down your cheeks.

“it’s stupid” you laugh wetly, niamh frowns at that, a scolding look almost. “nothing you feel is stupid, come on, baby, what’s wrong?” she gives you a reassuring smile, you can feel yourself calm down in an instant.

“when you were with my cousins, i couldn’t help but think about us” you said softly, almost impossible for niamh to hear but the small space in the car finally did her a favour.

“what about us, baby?” niamh digs a little further, her kind eyes making it easier to open up. “kids” you mutter, “our kids” niamh gives you a surprised expression, knowing the two of you haven’t really talked about this.

she also found it comical the two of you were parked up in a residential street 5 minutes from your home to discuss the topic.

“and i know you don’t want any with me and that’s okay, but i think the least you could do is get me a pet” you laugh wetly again, sniffling as you look at her,

“babe” she shakes her head, “are you kidding?” your eyes widen at her tone, she sounded a little offended and you were worried you overstepped.

“what?” niamh angles her body more towards you, “you really think i don’t want kids with you?” niamh’s eyebrows furrow again, face full of concentration as she analysed your facial expressions.

you shrug in response, a little hurt at the thought of niamh not wanting children with you.

“(y/n)” first name, this was serious, you thought.

“baby, i want nothing more than to have children with you, i always have” niamh pronounced, wiping away a stray tear from your cheek.

you look at her in slight shock, tracing her face for a lie and finding none, she was being honest.

“really?” you smile, she smiles back, happy to not see you crying anymore, “of course, my love, i’d get you pregnant right now if i could” she smirks suggestively, giving your hand another squeeze when she notices your pink cheeks.

“well, we better get home then” you tease, though niamh took it seriously, starting the car almost immediately and driving to your home.

literally dragging you out of the car and throwing you over her shoulder. sure, it couldn’t happen like this, but who are you to decline niamh?

—

you both discussed that children would happen a little later for the both of you, but it was certain to happen. you were both relieved to know what each other wanted.

you and niamh spent a lot more time babysitting cousins, nieces, nephews, dogs if you had to and it felt extremely natural and familiar for the both of you.

you were both excited for when those children would be yours, excited for what the future would hold.

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you know the drill - pretend it’s you! ily pernille x

liked by _jessflem and 44,232 others

niamhcharles17: trying to steal the favourite cousin status from me

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yourname: she’s MY cousin

↳ niamhcharles17: OUR cousin

↳ yourname: i knew her first

↳ niamhcharles17: baby, i came with you to the hospital

↳ yourname: go away

zeciramusovic: waiting for your turn

↳ niamhcharles17: coming soon 😏

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso one shot #woso imagine #niamh charles #niamh charles x reader

[goingmerryfics]

Arguments w/ Shanks, Buggy, & Mihawk

Content: Gender Neutral reader, no NSFW. Maybe some slightly angsty stuff? Not really though.

Shanks

Arguing with him is either exhausting or it’s pointless, there’s never an in-between

Shanks doesn’t really take most arguments seriously because they’re either started by something extremely unimportant or he’s already made his decision and he’s not going to back down on his opinion

Pointless, because he’s not going to change his mind and he’s laughing at you while you’re trying to talk to him

“You’re so cute when you’re angry.”

Yup. Pointless. It’ll just make you more angry and him more entertained

The exhausting arguments are when he’s actually serious- and while he’s not mad at you, he’s mad that you can’t see his reasonings for doing what he’s doing

Especially when it comes to keeping you safe

Shanks won’t back down and it’s impossible to change his mind while he’s this pissed off, so it’s always best to just separate and come back later to talk it out when you’re both calm

While you do what you need to do in order to relax, Shanks festers in his anger and reflects on the things that were said between the two of you. His crewmates try to cheer him up- they offer him booze, they crack jokes, but he’s not in the mood for either and everyone is concerned

Truthfully, he’s worried. While he’s still not willing to change his mind, he doesn’t want to lose the relationship you two have worked so hard to build and maintain

He gets up out of his seat 3 times to pace around, mind racing back and forth on if he should go talk to you, and then convincing himself that it’s best to wait for you to emerge first so he knows you’re ready to talk

But he grows tired of waiting, and does actually end up coming to your shared room to resolve the issue

You’re still steaming just a bit. Your arms are crossed over your chest, and you don’t look up when he enters. You know it’s him, because a few others on his crew have already come to check on you, and you’d asked them politely to leave you be. But you don’t protest when he comes to sit beside you

He doesn’t touch you

It’s painfully silent for a while

Then he finally speaks up and breaks the tension

“I’m sorry. That got a little more heated than I wanted it to.”

You peek up at him just a bit. He notices how red your face is, and a strike of fear shoots through him at the thought of possibly having made you cry and then left you on your own for hours

He stretches out his hand, offering it to you to hold, and you shift in your position to take it

He goes into a rant on how much you mean to him and how he’s only doing what he has to do to keep you and the rest of the crew safe

“Because I love you. You know that, don’t you?”

You do

You also know that no matter how many times you two get upset with each other, you’ll always find your way back into his arms

Buggy

Arguing with him would come often, but the content of the arguments is what matters here

Only for the reason that Buggy is adamant about being correct in every situation, even when he is not and knows it

Everyone knows it’s best to just simply let him believe his delusions and let the natural consequences come through

But this guy seriously has weirdly good luck, and somehow all his delusions seem to come true for him in one way or another

Half of the time it’s just funny watching him be completely wrong about a subject, other times it’s a little infuriating

Arguments don’t last long between the two of you, though

Buggy craves attention, and attention from his favorite person is a must. It’s basically a necessity of life

Food, water, shelter, you. Not in that order, though

He realizes too late through his incessant rambling and gloating that he’s said something that hurt your feelings and immediately starts to backpedal

“Wait, wait, wait! That’s not what I meant! What I meant to say was-”

He’s red in the face, almost so much so as his nose

He hates to admit it, but you look really good glaring down at him like that as he tries to save his own skin

He clams up, sweating. Unsure of himself. Not sure what he was even saying a second ago

As much as you need time alone to chill out, he can’t seem to leave you be. It’s scary for him, seeing your usually smiling face so serious

He takes a seat outside of your room, and then breaks into pieces no, literally while he waits for you to emerge again

It takes you a few hours, but he’s there the whole time. His feet are pacing around, his head is whining, cheek on the floor. His hands are tapping and picking at the dirt in the wood, but every part of him lights up when he sees you again

“Aha! I see you finally caved. Couldn’t stay away from me, could you?”

You pause, and then move to go back inside before he yelps and his hands grab at your ankles. His parts come back together again, using the rest of his body to hold you in place

“Wait! I’m sorry! Please don’t go back!”

He shouts it all in a rush. He’s crying, and there’s snot running down his nose

He looks like a damn mess

It kind of makes you laugh at how desperate he is for you

he pouts up at you and you cave

He basically crawls up your body to hug you. You hug him back, petting his hair and waiting for him to relax, sitting right there in the doorway of your room. People pause as they pass, but a sharp look from you stops them from staying for very long

Mihawk

If Mihawk is actually worked up enough to argue with you, there’s a good reason for it

Usually he makes his point and that’s that. No other words exchanged, nothing more than a slight glance towards you

Mihawk is an introvert, and he gets exhausted from others very easily. He’s not trying to be rude or dismissive towards you when he does this, but that is how it comes off sometimes

He’ll turn his attention back to his book because after he’s said what he wanted to, he figures everything is fine. He understands his logic, why wouldn’t you?

But you, like a lot of people that aren’t Mihawk, are more emotional than he is

Your silence isn’t acceptance, it’s hurt

Only when you get up to leave the room does the thought cross his mind that maybe what he’d said didn’t come off correctly, and you might have just been insulted. But he figures you would come tell him if that were the case, so all is well and he returns to his book

This could go forever, really. Until he notices that you’re giving him the cold shoulder, and then he would stop whatever he was doing- even if he were in another room at the time of realization -and find you to clear things up right away

“Darling, we need to talk right away.”

Straight to the point. He doesn’t really ask you if you want to talk, because he knows if he doesn’t at least make an attempt at this it will haunt him like Perona’s ghosts all night

The thing about Mihawk that not many people know is that he’s got this cool, collected, silent aura about him because he simply does not have the energy to play nice with everyone

So when he’s just arrived home from a Warlord meeting, or somewhere that he was obligated to be present for, all he wants is time to himself to recharge

Having a relationship and balancing this need was something he was still learning

But he loves you so much and the thought of upsetting you over a misunderstanding gnawed at him and gave him massive amounts of anxiety and uncomfortability

He’s not this untouchable guy that everyone thinks he is. You’ve seen this; he laughs and cries like everyone else does

And you understand him. He couldn’t ask for someone better than you are

If you’re willing to, he’ll take your hands and kiss your knuckles.

“I apologize for my behavior. I should have given my words a second thought before I spoke them out loud. What can I do to make this up to you?”

It’s an easy thing to answer- it’s all you wanted since he’d returned, why you kept invading his space before he was ready to emerge and what lead up to the situation in the first place

You tell him you want him. His attention, to be wrapped in his arms. You just want to spend time with him, even if that’s in silence

He can work with that

He presses a kiss to your forehead and makes you promise that you’ll tell him if he ever says or does anything to upset you again. He wants to communicate, not lose out on precious time with you over something small

He goes above and beyond, though. He makes up a very romantic candlelit dinner that night for the both of you to share and even if it’s a very quiet dinner, (minus the music playing softly in the background) it’s perfect

#one piece #harleywritesop #hwop #red haired shanks #one piece shanks #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #captain buggy #op buggy #buggy x reader #shanks x reader #dracule mihawk #hawkeye mihawk #op mihawk #mihawk one piece #mihawk x reader

[rinhaler]

THERE'S NOBODY HERE

CHAPTER SUMMARY: So you're trapped in a cabin with your hot ex who you haven't seen in months as well as his hot friends. Now what? Party and make him jealous, of course.

ex-fiancé!rin x f!reader

WARNINGS : 18+, alcohol consumption, oui'd smoking, shotgunning, lots of flirting, sex talk/discussions, squirting mention, dry humping?? (grinding while dancing), rejection, pet names (baby, princess).

WORDS : 8.6k

notes : this series may be a flop but I like it 😭🫶🏽

       LAST CHAPTER┊MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER

Rin’s eyes lower from staring up at you, instead focusing on talking to his brother and the other guests as he comes into the cabin and finally shuts the door behind himself. They’re all catching up, it’s plain to see how close they all are and how happy they are to see each other.

Even Rin looks uncharacteristically happy to see everyone. Usually, the only thing on his mind is football and training. Maybe the holiday season is bringing out this new side of him.

Though you can’t help but feel a little nauseated. You know Sae is just as surprised to see him as you are, but still, if you trusted your better judgement, you wouldn’t have come just in case this happened. Your fingers curl around the banister tightly as you try to steel yourself.

“I can’t believe this.” you whisper to Chigiri, who runs a soft palm soothingly across your back.

“Come on.” he tilts his head towards the top of the stairs, suggesting you go and reassess the situation in the safety of your bedroom. He leads the way, and you follow hurriedly, not getting the chance to see Rin glance up at you disappearing. “It’s giving main character.” Chigiri can’t help but smirk as he shuts the door behind you both.

“It’s giving… I’m fucked.” you laugh back before screaming into a pillow. You pull it away, your hair messed up a little before Chigiri puts it back into place for you. “I literally can’t believe this is happening. So much for no Rin talk all week!”

“Oh fuck, I know. So much for a rebound, too.” he sighs. You do a fake little cry before genuinely groaning in distress as he thinks. “I mean, you could still do it, but it’ll just end up causing drama.”

“Yeah no way, maybe we should leave?” you suggest, and he doesn’t argue. It might be for the best, it’s an uncomfortable, unexpected change in circumstance and both of you can’t help but feel less welcome. “They’re his friends. We were only invited because he wasn’t supposed to be coming.”

“Plus we can spend the week together anyway since you managed to get out of seeing your parents.”

“Right!” you nod excitedly. “Okay, wanna help me pack and then I’ll help you?”

“Sure. But I don’t need help and I know you won’t help anyway.” he chides, laughing softly as he stands tall and looks around thinking about where to start.

Really, nothing gets done. You talk about packing, but you both end up sitting on top of the bed and gossiping more about what happened.

Rin Itoshi is here.

And you haven’t seen him since the breakup. That awful, painful breakup. Enough time has passed that the memory doesn’t feel as raw. But Christ it still hurts. You can still feel the way tears pricked at your eyes and flooded your lash line as you broke things off with him. They cascaded downwards with no sign of stopping as Rin begged and pleaded, sobbing to give him another chance.

You wanted to.

You remember how agonising it felt to deny him that chance. The fear in his eyes as he realised things weren’t going to be fixed with words and he really was losing you forever. The exact moment his heart broke into pieces will be etched in your mind for the rest of your life. The pain of that vision has dulled but is ever present.

And seeing him, now, look at you with such little care is like a knife tearing into your flesh. His lack of smile is like salt and bleach pouring into a fresh wound.

You do your best to hide a fresh tear rolling down your cheek from Hyoma, but it’s too late. He sits up on the bed and leans over to you to wipe it away. And you know what’s coming, a classic pep talk from him that always make you feel better. Even if he can be harsh, he always knows best.

Just as he’s about to speak, though, the door swings open.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t— are you two a thing now?”

You shake your head, trying to conceal your red, watery eyes from Rin as he stands in the doorway. Hyoma objects. A little too much for your liking. But there isn’t a single indication of jealousy or relief as Rin listens to him speak.

The thought of you moving on doesn’t faze him at all.

“You’re in my room.” Rin tells you, and you nod.

“Rin! I was just about to tell you that your rooms been taken, you’ll have to—” Sae follows his brother into the room, looking at you with a slight look of sorrow as he can tell how upset you are. And if Sae has noticed, Rin definitely has.

“We’ll be gone soon.” you try to sniffle discreetly. You can’t bear looking at Rin, but your eyes meet his brothers as he cocks his head in confusion. “We were just about to pack and head home. You can have your room back, sorry.” you explain. The brothers watch you as you walk over to the wardrobe and begin collecting your clothes, and you’re thankful for the opportunity to hide your face and wipe your shimmering cheeks.

“You’re not serious, are you?” Sae asks, and all you can do is nod. “Rin was going to take the couch.”

“Was I?” he raises an eyebrow and grimaces at his brother who returns a scathing glare back at him. “Don’t leave on my account. I thought we were going to be mature about this.”

“This is being mature, Rin.” you sigh, finally looking at him. “This is your house. Your friends. It’s okay, it makes more sense for us to leave.”

“Chigiri, talk to her.” Sae requests, only to end up disappointed when Chigiri confesses that he agrees with you. He sighs, but tries to think of a solution. “Look, it’s gonna get dark soon. At least wait until morning? You’ve only been here for an hour or so, and you were excited for this. Things don’t have to change.” he reasons, watching you and Hyoma share a look as you consider it.

“It’s a long drive… icy roads… and he’s right about it getting dark.” Chigiri says to you, quietly, though the brothers can hear. You look at all of them as you think, but you focus on Chigiri as he continues. “Why don’t you move your stuff into my room and then Rin can have his own room?” he suggests.

You sigh, nodding. He starts helping you bring your clothes into his room rather than packing them away, and Rin drags his suitcase into his own room so he can unpack when you’re done.

Sae helps with your stuff, too, sticking around in Chigiri’s room to make sure you’re okay.

“I hope you don’t think I’m setting you up or anything…” he tells you, “I swear he told me he wasn’t coming. He actually told me he’d rather break both of his legs than come here.”

“It’s okay, Sae, I know. I trust you.” you smile at him. Him and Chigiri work well as a team, pretty much taking over and not allowing you to lift a finger as they help you transfer your things to his room. “I still feel like I shouldn’t be here. I don’t feel great and I’m probably going to ruin the mood.”

“Not possible, Rin is the biggest buzzkill without trying.” he laughs, picking up the golden glittery dress Chigiri had noticed earlier. “We’re having a party tonight, definitely wear this.” Sae tells you, handing it to you.

You model in front of the standing mirror in the corner of the room and hold the garment up against your body. It’ll definitely turn some heads, for sure. And even if you can’t actually hook up with anyone, you’re sure you’ll get some attention either way.

“I’m going to town for another booze run, wanna come, Chigiri?” Sae asks, turning focus from you to your friend. Chigiri looks at you inquisitively, like he’s asking permission, but you only shrug.

“I should shower and start getting ready for tonight, anyway!” you tell him. “But you better be back in time to do my hair.” you poke out your tongue.

“Ugh you take forever.” he sighs, heading for the exit with Sae. “Go, go.” he mutters, walking ahead of him until he’s completely out of sight and down the stairs.

“Otoya is coming with us,” Sae tells you. “Ryusei will keep you company if you get lonely.” he smiles, leaving you alone with your thoughts and allowing you to ruminate on the fact you’re stuck in a house with your ex.

Chigiri isn’t back by the time you get out of the shower. You rush across the hall, a little deflated that you’ve downgraded to a room without an ensuite. Though you’re sure everyone is downstairs, your adrenaline is through the roof at the thought of being seen in just a towel.

You make it back to your room unseen, however, locking the door behind you when you get inside. You’ll have to hurry and get dressed in case Chigiri comes back. You’re sure he’s seen you naked countless times through your friendship when you’re too hammered to care, but the thought of him walking in on you with nothing on is too embarrassing to even think about.

YOU: are u still out?

CHIGIRI: yeah we’re heading back now tho

You put your phone away and start to lather yourself in all of your lotions and potions. You’re sure he’ll comment on how overpowering the smell of strawberries and coconut is when he returns but you can’t find it in you to care. You feel so smooth and sweet and invigorated.

There’s a short and vest pyjama set plaguing your mind that you bought brand new that you’re itching to wear. Though when you strip yourself of your towel, you realise you should have brought a dressing gown.

It makes you think about Ryusei.

You’re sure there’s a spare in his ensuite, or if not a spare, he might let you borrow his. You unlock the door to your room once you’re dressed in your barely there loungewear, shivering a little as water still drips and spills across your skin.

The corridor with each room is bare as you look up and down. Though as you walk towards where Sae said Ryusei’s room would be, you spot Rin poke his head out of his bedroom. He sees you, too, barely glancing at you for more than a moment before he goes back inside of his room.

Your stomach churns, nerves getting the better of you. But your eyes soon light up when you see Ryusei leave his own room. You want to call out to him, to run towards him, but he disappears just as quickly when he follows Rin into his room.

It makes you pause, unsure of what to do. You don’t particularly want to see Rin again, but you’d quite like to catch up with Ryusei.

You take a breath, and slowly approach. The door is ajar, though you don’t feel confident enough to reveal yourself. Instead, you rest against the wall. It’s not like you’re eavesdropping, you’re just working up the courage to talk to him.

“Crazy that she’s here.” Ryusei laughs. They’re talking about you, you realise. You slow your breathing and actively make the effort to listen in on their conversation, now. It’s icky and invasive and you hate yourself for it. But you can’t help yourself. You want to know what they’re thinking. Both of them. “How’re you feelin’ about it?”

“Well—” he stops, thinking. It goes silent for a while, and he begins moving around the room. It makes your heart race. Does he know you’re there? Is he about to close the door? You inhale a slow, silent breath, holding it in your lungs for as long as possible. “I’m seeing someone… so I don’t really care.”

“You are? You kept that quiet!”

“You never asked.” Rin responds without missing a beat. “We’re also not friends.”

Ryusei laughs at him, though he isn’t sure if he’s joking or not. They’re friends, right? They talk often enough, and Rin probably sees Ryusei more than he sees his own brother. They hang out a lot outside of practices and games, so he doesn’t doubt that they’re friends, despite what Rin says.

You feel your heart stop beating, you swear.

For the first time, maybe ever, Chigiri was wrong. Rin is seeing someone. He actually moved on. You can’t be mad; you have no right to be mad. Not when you ended things. If you cared about him so much, you wouldn’t have broken his heart. He has every right to move on, and so you do.

Though you can’t stop the way your heart aches. The way it bleeds each time it beats, it’s scarring with every thump. You feel the lashing of a whip lacerating it as it does all it can to keep you alive.

But you’ve died inside.

You can’t help the way your throat suffocates itself with a lump in a desperate bid to gain more oxygen. Your eyes are full. They’re wet and pitiful as you come to terms with the news. Maybe you thought you’d find your way back to each other one day.

After the breakup, he didn’t bother you at all. He took it terribly in the moment. But after, he seemed to shut down completely. Everything was so methodical and planned. He arranged to have his stuff moved out by movers and requested you wouldn’t be there. It was quick and seamless, and you never heard from him again after that.

It hurt.

It stung, in fact.

But in your mind, you hoped that things would change. Even up until now, you hoped you would both grow as people and maybe one day find each other again. You’d be ready to grow up and be who you each needed to be so that you could be together in the right way.

But that can’t happen, now.

You were too hopeful that he’d change for you.

You just gave him the freedom to be someone else’s.

The wood floor creaks as you try and stealthily sneak away, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Rin or Ryusei. You hear Ryusei question if someone is there, and it makes everything worse. You quickly try and disguise your tears before you reveal yourself, pretending to be on the phone as you stand in the doorway.

“Sorry I was just talking to my dad and pacing around! Bye!” you tell them, hurrying away before either of them can call you out on it. You aren’t sure if they realised you were listening in, and truthfully, you don’t want to know. If either of them were to ask you, you think you’d have a breakdown.

You rush back to Chigiri’s room and lock the door behind you, and for a while, you manage to keep composed. Tears are flowing and you feel horrible about the situation, but you’re surprisingly calm.

“Hey, kiddo,” you hear a soft knock at the door. “Can I come in?” Ryusei asks. And that is when you begin to sob.

You go to the door and unlock it, opening it wide and allowing him to see your puffy eyes and soaking cheeks. He tuts, sorrowfully, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs as he enters the room. He closes the door behind himself again and locks it before guiding you to the bed.

The tears don’t stop, and he keeps wiping them away for you. It hurts. God, it fucking hurts. If you had some hindsight and known he’d move on this quickly, you never would have ended things. You’re realising a lot about the breakup and what a big mistake you’ve made, now. And it’s stupid and selfish and you hate yourself for it.

You know you weren’t happy at the time.

But you were a lot fucking happier than you are right now.

“You heard, then?” he asks. “What were you doin’? Eavesdropping doesn’t seem like you.”

“I— I wasn’t. Not really… I didn’t mean to.” you try to explain, still stuttering and sniffling through your words. He coos and shushes you, trying to calm you down so that you can speak and think clearly. He urges you to take deep breaths, and finally, you can explain. “I was coming to see you and then I saw you go into Rin’s room so I got nervous and hid.”

“Ah,” he nods. “Well, what did you want to see me for?”

“I just… wanted to know if you had a spare dressing gown.” you tell him half of the truth, the other half glued to your tongue and unwilling to be shared. Though his smile, his cheeky, almost intimidating smirk has you folding for him and confessing the rest. “’n I missed you, thought we could catch up.”

He pulls you into his arms and squeezes tight. He can’t even begin to tell you how much he’s missed you. Of course, you’re all busy doing your own thing, but he got to see you way more when you were dating Rin.

You have no idea how much he cherishes those moments you came with them when they travelled to away games. The pranks you played with him and the nights you spent up watching movies and learning more about each other.

He’s never crossed a line with you, ever.

But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t thought about it.

Rin is one of his closest friends. And, at the time, you were his. He’d never dream of making a move on you. He wouldn’t want to ruin his friend’s relationship and break the trust between them.

You withdraw from his hug, though. Your eyes shimmer and twinkle as they look into his wantonly. They’re so flirtatious yet stern in comparison to how wet and desperate your own look. The tension between you is rife, and you swear the only thing that can be heard is the way your heart pounds.

He doesn’t expect you to lean forward.

He doesn’t expect you to tilt your head and close your eyes as your face gets closer to his.

It takes him aback, his eyes widening in shock as he realises what you’re doing. His hands fly to your shoulders, and he pulls away from you, keeping you at arm’s length. You feel every organ plummet through your body as you realise what an idiot you are.

“Oh my God.” you sigh, moving away from him and covering your hands over your mouth in horror. How could you be so stupid? You’re stone cold sober and don’t have a single excuse to fall back on. You just threw yourself at him, and he didn’t give you any indication that he was interested.

“Hey, it’s okay! You’re just hurting, and I’m here.” he starts, getting closer to you and putting an arm around you before you shrug him off and walk away. “Things don’t need to be weird, baby, I understand.”

You scoff, looking at him briefly before your eyes fill with tears again at the sheer embarrassment. He stands up, desperate to hold you. To console you. But you don’t let him. Keeping him away as far as possible as you move away from him and push him, almost angrily.

A turn of the handle at the bedroom door makes you both freeze. The following knock at the door forces you to look at him.

“Don’t tell anyone.” you request, eyes pleading with him as you begin to panic.

He doesn’t speak, heading to the door to see who’s there. You’re relieved when it swings open, it’s Chigiri. He looks a little surprised to see you in your scanty pyjamas with Ryusei in the room. The latter of the men doesn’t say a word as he slips by him. Not uttering a sound or even looking at him as he goes back to his own room.

Chigiri comes in, quickly, locking the door again and setting down the shopping bag.

You see two glasses in his hand, quickly grabbing them and setting them down as he pulls out a bottle of rosé wine from the shopping bag. He holds it up, raising a brow, asking a silent question of whether you want to start the party early or not.

“Pour the drinks, bitch.” you tell him. He laughs, screwing off the lid as you grab your makeup bag and a few different eyeshadow palettes from your suitcase.

“Do I even want to know?” he wonders, holding your glass out to you. You take it from his hand as you walk by and sit at the dressing table with your makeup. He circles around you, grabbing his hair dryer so he can start doing your hair at the same time.

“I tried to kiss him.” you smile, sarcastically. “Tried being very important, because he was horrified. He couldn’t keep me far enough away, Hyoma.”

“Well… you are his friends ex, babe. Give him some credit.” Hyoma tries to reason. “There’s no way he wouldn’t kiss you back otherwise.”

“Oh! Speaking of my ex, he’s seeing someone.” you start laughing hysterically before fanning your hands in front of your face to try and stop yourself from crying. “Remember,” you laugh-cry again, “remember when you said he’s too focused on work to move on? Hahaha!” you continue, grabbing your wine glass and drinking every last drop.

“Oh boy.” Chigiri speaks, downing his own glass before topping them both up. Admittedly, you feel way calmer as he starts brushing your hair. His soft hands raking through your locks almost sends you to sleep. “Who told you?”

“No one, I accidentally overheard. Not that it matters.” you shrug. “We’re definitely leaving tomorrow. I can’t do this.”

“Fine.” he shrugs. “You know what you can do, though? Wear that slutty little dress you bought and give him a show. You’re literally a model, babe. What are the odds he’s found a hotter girlfriend than you? I bet she’s ugly.” Hyoma smiles.

God, he’s the best. He knows exactly the right thing to say every time you’re in distress. You wish you could offer the same support to him. But honestly, his life is pretty well put together. He rarely gets involved in drama. And even when he does, he always knows how to get himself out of it.

“Gonna get your hair looking perfect, okay? Wear that dress, grind on the guys, get wasted. And then tomorrow we can dip.” he explains, and you nod. “Who cares if he’s dating someone? You think he won’t get jealous if you dry fuck his friends?”

“No, you’re right.” you tell him before taking another drink. You aren’t sure if you’re feeling genuine confidence or if the blush pink liquid is rushing straight to your head. It doesn’t matter, though. Everything he’s saying is true. And you’re ready and raring to go. “He was so possessive when we were together.”

He nods, and you both clink your glasses together as you seem to have a solid plan prepared to set in motion.

Although, it’s half-baked as best.

Time flies as you get ready. Your makeup is settled on your face to perfection and Chigiri finishes off your hair, making sure there isn’t a strand out of place. He applauds as he admires his handiwork. He reaches for the bottle of wine, realising it’s empty as he goes to pour himself another glass.

“Fuck sake.” he mutters. He watches you as you stand up, the two of you finally notice the sound of loud music playing from downstairs as the room falls silent. You do a little dance as you strip down to nothing, not caring about your present company. “Oh we’re doing this.” he exclaims, turning away on instinct.

“Oh fuck I’m sorry, I forgot.” you laugh, and now you realise you’re definitely at the very least tipsy. He laughs too, noting how confident you are as you stand completely bare in front of him. It’s something you’re used to, honestly. Doing runway shows gives you no room to be embarrassed about your natural form. But for whatever reason, Chigiri makes you feel shy unless you’re drunk.

“I can’t believe you got a Hollywood wax you whore.” he laughs. “Trying to act like you weren’t trying to fuck but you were prepared!”

“You never know, Chigs~!” you sing a little as you walk to the wardrobe to grab the golden dress. You slip into it with ease. You aren’t allowing it to wear you, though. It’s yours and you own it. There is no doubt that you are the one wearing it, dominating it like it was created for your body and yours alone. “I can still hook up, y’know? We’re leaving tomorrow. Who cares if I stir the pot?” you shrug.

“Listen, if you call me Chigs one more time I’m gonna suffocate you with a pillow in your sleep.” he warns you, and you giggle as you slip into your high heels. He doesn’t dispute your point, though. This might be the last time you see any of these guys. Rin has moved on, and there’s no reason you can’t too. And while you’re at it, you may as well burn every bridge in the process.

“Let’s party.” you wink, opening the door.

You’re greeted to a cacophony of cheers and wolf whistles as you descend the staircase. The boys are scattered around. A few of them in the kitchen, while the others are in the lounge.

Otoya curls his finger from the kitchen, inviting you over to hang out with him and the others. You look over your shoulder towards the lounge. Ryusei and Rin are staring at you with an intense gaze. Of course there’s a chance Ryusei told him that you threw yourself at him, but you’re choosing to believe they’re admiring how hot you look instead.

“You look stunning.” Eita tells you, offering you a puff of his J as he holds it in front of your face. It’s been a while since you got high. You stopped when you started dating Rin, and you didn’t feel the need to pick it back up when you broke up. But, now, you have nothing to lose.

“Thank you.” you smile, accepting the weed and the compliment. You admire the lights as they change colour quickly, making you feel like you’re at a club. You immediately sink into a bar stool as you feel the drugs take hold of your body, weariness hitting you instantly.

Karasu lights another blunt and hands it to Chigiri, who smokes without hesitation.

“Do you want a drink?” Sae asks you both, looking between you as you get more and more comfortable in the group. Chigiri nods, walking around the counter to help him.

He knows what you like, after all.

“She looks fucking amazing.” Oliver comments, standing up from between Ryusei and Rin before he heads over to join all of the action in the kitchen. “Hi gorgeous,” he whispers in your ear as he places his hand in the small of your back. You smile, cheerfully, resting your body into his as he holds you close.

“Pace yourself.” Chigiri warns you, sliding your drink to you. You sniff it, realising he’s poured you some Malibu and coke into a cup. His warning goes ignored, however, as you drink two thirds of the drink before setting it down.

“I’m fucked.” you laugh, staggering a little as you walk beside Chigiri to get another drink. He looks concerned, but leaves you be for now. It takes all of your power not to look over to the only two men not hanging out with you right now. “Are they looking?” you whisper to Chigiri.

He looks, quickly.

“Mhmm.”

Your smile widens and you can’t help but laugh. Hyoma snatches the bottle from you as you go to pour a new drink. Oliver passes your original cup to you, and you beam as you remember you hadn’t finished it, though it’s gone in an instant.

“Real party girl, aren’tcha?” Karasu asks, putting his arm around your shoulder and forcing his blunt into your mouth. “You’ll be asleep before midnight I bet.” he challenges you.

You ignore him, turning to face him.

His eyes widen in realisation as he notices you’re keeping the smoke deep in your lungs. He closes the gap between your faces and his lips rest against yours, accepting the smoke back as you exhale it.

“Fuuuck, am I in love?” Karasu laughs as the exchange ends. He turns away, biting his lip slightly as you bend over the counter and rest your head in your hands. The skirt of your dress rides up a little, and Chigiri graciously tugs it down for you.

“Babe, stop,” he warns you, leaning over to whisper in your ear. “You’re gonna end up passing out.”

You gulp, nervously, feeling anxious under Chigiri’s intense eyes. You know he’s only looking out for you, but you can’t help feeling a little on edge. Sae comforts you, though, pulling you into his side like a protective big brother as he asks how you’re doing.

“Having fun?”

“Yes! Thanks for inviting us.” you smile.

“Glad you wore this one, suits you.” he nods. You watch him as he smokes beside you, and you decline when he offers you a puff. Chigiri, however, gratefully accepts without even being asked. Sae leaves your side in favour of sitting next to your best friend as they talk and bond over the joint.

You aren’t sure what to do, now. You feel a little deflated after Chigiri’s warning and you aren’t sure what to do with yourself. It seems like you shouldn’t drink or smoke anymore, but you’re brimming with so much energy you don’t particularly want to sit down.

“Hey, c’mere.” Eita orders, Oliver sits down next to him upon his request.

And when you approach, that is when Ryusei finally decides to come over. He smiles at everyone, but can’t seem to catch your attention as you’re too fixated on the two men with different tints of green in their hair.

Eita stands up when you hoist yourself onto the counter, and he slots himself between your open legs. Ryusei watches the scene unfold, anger bubbling at his jawline as he contemplates whether to intervene or not. His protective side roaring at him to get you away from the renowned playboys.

“Let her be.” Chigiri tells him, noticing his irritation. Ryusei sits down opposite to him, leaning over to chat quietly amongst themselves. Sae listens in, too, but only because he’s in close proximity. “I heard what happened. Did you tell Rin?”

“No, I didn’t.” Ryusei answers, though he doesn’t look happy about it. It feels like a betrayal to hide something so big from his friend, but he knows nothing good will come from sharing. “Oliver and Eita, they’re—”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s none of your business. She’s not looking for a boyfriend, she’s letting her hair down. So, whatever you’re planning, stop. Let her have fun. If you wanted her, you should have—” Chigiri stops himself when he remembers Sae is right beside him. He looks over at you, still being showered in attention by Eita and Oliver.

“Do you have feelings for my ex-sister-in-law, Ryusei?” Sae asks, laughing lightly before passing him the gross remainder of his blunt. Ryusei shrugs, smoking.

“’s complicated.” Ryusei announces, uncaring. He’s sure nothing that is discussed here tonight will be remembered come morning. “Rin! Get off your phone and come over!”

Rin flips him off and continues playing on his phone. You’re a little disappointed, but it can’t be helped. Karasu sits on the other side of Chigiri while Sae shuffles a deck of cards.

“Set up ring of fire, dude.”

“Ring of fire sucks.” you yell over your shoulder, though you giggle when Otoya’s fingers gently caress your chin and force you back to look at him. Oliver pours three shots for all of you, handing them to you and his friend. You drink them together, giggling even more when you feel the buzz rush right into your brain.

“What drinking games do you like, sweetheart?” Oliver asks, his hand resting on your thigh while his thumb softly strokes your skin.

You tell them that you like never have I ever the best, prompting Sae to call Rin over. Then, and only then, does he actually listen. Chigiri makes sure everyone has a drink, pouring something random for Rin as he takes a seat next to Ryusei and opposite to his brother.

It’s nice seeing the kitchen island so lively. In a weird way, you feel like a teenager again. Finding out someone’s parents are out of town and having a big, debaucherous house party while you play drinking games and get too fucked up to even know where you are.

Obviously you’re grown, now. And you like to think you’re a bit more responsible than you were back then. Though it’s likely it might just be Chigiri keeping you on the right path. He shoots a smile at you as Eita helps you down from the counter. Oliver moves one seat along and you sit between them, his arm is around the back of your chair while Eita’s hand remains firmly on your thigh.

“Who’s going first?” Ryusei asks.

“I’ll go, let’s start easy.” Karasu answers. “Never have I ever ate food.” you all laugh and everyone takes a drink. He nudges Chigiri to go next.

“Never have I ever had sex.” everyone laughs, drinking again. You and Rin exchange an awkward look before looking elsewhere.

“Horny, Chigiri? Onto the sex questions already?” Ryusei laughs.

“We all know people only play this for the sex questions so I’m just moving the process along.” Chigiri rolls his eyes before looking at Sae, assuming the questions are going around the table clockwise.

“Never have I ever eaten ass.” He drinks as soon as he finishes talking, and he smiles as Rin grunts, realising he stole his little brother’s question.

You watch Oliver and Eita either side of you drink as well as Ryusei. Karasu admits he hasn’t done it but it very open to trying it, earning a laugh from the group. Rin sits silently for a while as he tries to think of a question. It takes him too long, so Ryusei decides to take over.

“Never have I ever cheated.”

Oliver and Eita laugh before drinking. Chigiri hesitates, but drinks too. Everyone hoots and hollers as he flips them all off. In his defence, he got cheated on first, it was a revenge fuck! Though you don’t speak on his behalf, he doesn’t feel the need to defend himself.

“Never have I ever had a threesome.” Oliver laughs, Eita laughs too.

“Fuck you, man.” he chuckles as they both take a drink. Ryusei, Karasu and Sae all drink too.

“I feel so boring.” you giggle, “You two are gonna be drunker than me at this rate.” you tell the men either side of you.

“Maybe we can change your answer tonight.” Eita whispers into your ear. Rin and Ryusei stare daggers at the three of you, and it only makes you play into it more. Chigiri smirks when he looks over at Rin. His face is unchanging, but he can see that cold, calculated rage burning behind his eyes.

You turn to face Eita, your lips ghosting his before you face the rest of the group again. “Never have I ever been to a party at the Itoshi cabin.” you smile, everyone takes a drink, Rin drinking a heartier amount than everyone else before asking Chigiri for a refill.

“Never have I ever made a chick squirt.” Eita smirks as he drinks. Oliver joins in, and you can’t help but wonder if they shared a girl and gave them that experience. You watch on as Ryusei, and Rin drink, too. Your face flushes with embarrassment as Rin drinks and he looks at you again, averting your gaze and hoping nobody notices. “Fair play, Itoshi.” Eita nods towards Rin.

“Shut up.” he responds. “Never have I ever smoked weed.” he shrugs, reclining back in his seat while everyone else drinks. You can’t help but feel a little disappointed that he’s too focused on his phone rather than being entirely present in the moment with you all. You can’t help but wonder if it’s because he’s too preoccupied talking to his girlfriend.

“I was thinking we could do a secret Santa thing while we’re here, by the way.” Sae suggests, and Chigiri smiles at the idea. “We can all head to town together with a spending budget and find something.”

“That’s so cute!” you nod.

“We can’t do it.” Chigiri reminds you. “We’re leaving in the morning.”

“What?” Sae asks, quickly, and Rin is listening in carefully, now. His phone slotted into his back pocket as he observes your exchange. “I thought we figured everything out?”

You look at Ryusei, uncomfortably and gulp. His eyes soften as he realises you want to leave because of him, but he can’t say anything and start senseless drama. He doesn’t want you to go because of him. He doesn’t want you to go at all. However, he knows while everyone is intoxicated and tensions are high, confessing the reason will only lead to an unnecessary uproar.

“You— You should stay, kid.” is the most he can offer. “We haven’t had a chance to catch up properly, right?” he hopes you can take the hint. He can’t talk about it now, but there is definitely a discussion needed. You sigh, and nod.

“We should stay, Hyoma…” you smile at your best friend. And he looks relieved. He looks pleased that you’re spending a few more days with this crazy group and hopefully having more little parties like this. “And secret Santa sounds like a great idea, Sae.” you nod.

Sae smiles, excitedly. He pats Chigiri on the back and they laugh together happily. They start talking about the gift exchange and how to do it. Sae gets up in search of a pen while Chigiri tears up pieces of cardboard from a drink crate to write on. Sae hands him a pen, and they get to work writing down everyone’s names. Ryusei hands them an empty cup to put the names in.

“Just pass the cup around and take a name.” Chigiri tells the group as he draws the first name and passes the cup to Sae. Rin follows and then passes down to Ryusei. You, Oliver and Eita take your names and then Karasu gets the final piece of cardboard. “We good? Cool.”

“What’s the budget?” Rin asks.

“We’ll decide tomorrow,” Sae answers. “Just don’t forget or lose the name.”

“Does anyone want to dance?” you ask, swallowing the last of your drink. Oliver and Eita nod immediately, Chigiri shrugs and Karasu agrees too. The five of you head towards the lounge where the music is playing loudest.

Chigiri doesn’t dance, but he steps from foot to foot in time with the music. He keeps an eye on the grumpy gang still sitting in the kitchen while you take turns dancing on the three men giving you all of their attention.

You hadn’t expected to be so drawn to Eita, but his height and calm demeanour are pulling you in. His hand rests on your waist while you dance together, your ass pressed comfortably against his crotch.

He plays it cool, of course, whispering sweetly in your ear.

You watch Chigiri as he gets bored with the music, skipping the song to something more familiar.

“You’re a model, yeah?” Eita asks, directly into your ear canal. It makes you shudder, but you nod. “Show us.” he orders, though you’re sure it’s intended as a suggestion. They all seem entertained with the idea, though. No one more encouraging than Chigiri.

He’s your number one supporter, and you love him for it.

He looks a little taken aback as you move away from him, and your face turns expressionless yet sultry. You rise up the small steps that connect the lounge and the entryway, doing the best walk that you can towards the kitchen in your drunken state. You take your time when you get closer to Rin, Ryusei and Sae, posing for a while before turning back towards the other half of the guests.

They all clap and smile when you finish, your friendly, warm smile returning to you.

“That’s her drunk, imagine when she’s focused.” Chigiri hiccups, Karasu laughs with him. The two of them get to chatting and dancing again as they discuss the party thus far.

Oliver ruffles your hair and winks, heading back to the kitchen to get a refill.

“She’s good. She’s a little firecracker, isn’t she?” he laughs.

The siblings and Ryusei don’t say a word. As worried as Ryusei is about you, he tries to distract himself by talking to Sae and Oliver instead. Rin, however, can’t stop looking at you. You’ve stopped thinking about him, though. Your attention is entirely with Eita for now. Chigiri is taking it all in, on your behalf, making mental notes of things to tell you tomorrow.

Hopefully he won’t be too drunk to recall it come morning.

Eita squeezes your ass as you get closer to him. Rin stands up, finishing his drink and telling everyone goodnight. He heads up the stairs when he sees you and Eita almost share a kiss, your lips connect, though you break it before it can really be called a kiss.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

You look towards the stairs, and you hate how Ryusei and Sae are looking at you. It’s like you’re so predictable and they know exactly what you’re going to do. You can’t help it, though.

“I’m sorry.” you tell Eita, running away from him and chasing Rin up the stairs.

Rin’s door is closed, but not locked. You feel slightly sober now that you’re here. Part of you regrets running away and leaving Eita behind, but you know you’d have regretted being so petty and hurting Rin in the morning. Especially now that you’re staying.

You knock on the door, and he doesn’t respond.

Really, you should walk away. He’s either sulking or trying to sleep. Maybe even both. Your better judgement is telling you that you should leave him to it. But you can’t. You’ve been trying to get a reaction out of him all night and you finally got it.

Girlfriend or not, you got what you wanted.

It has to mean something.

So you enter without permission. The room is dark, and there’s no sign of him on the bed. You see the balcony door slightly ajar, and the biting breeze confirms his whereabouts. Did he leave because he was tired? Or did he leave because he felt jealous?

Of course there’s a chance you could be overthinking, but you have to know for sure. Admittedly, discussing your feelings whilst drunk might not be the brightest idea. It doesn’t stop you, though. He knows you’re here when he hears your heels click against the wood flooring. He looks over his shoulder, he’s leaning over the balcony railing when you step out and see him.

“You’re in the wrong room.” he tells you, turning around and resting his elbows on the railing as he faces you. The dark night sky obscures most of his face, but the moonlight highlights him gorgeously. It makes your knees weak, and you can barely think of what you want to say.

“I know,” you tell him. “I just wanted to check on you.”

He scoffs, but nods. You stand beside him and look over towards the town. The cold, bitter wind makes you feel drunker. Part of you can’t believe you’re actually staying here after you were so adamant that you were leaving. The glittering lights of the snow-covered village makes you smile unintentionally.

It’s how you’d imagine Santa’s workshop, if he were real.

“Um… congratulations on the new girlfriend, by the way.” you start, instantly regretting bringing it up. You’re sure you’ll start crying if he starts fawning over her. You don’t even know her, but you hate her. You try to keep calm and remember Chigiri saying she’s probably ugly. At the very least she’s got to be less attractive than you. “I’m glad you found someone… I hope you’re very happy together.”

“We are.” he tells you, immediately. You gulp and it feels like swallowing glass. He’s always been blunt, it’s not because he’s particularly angry or bitter towards you. It’s just who he is. And still, it hurts. “Are you interested in Otoya?”

You’re frozen without a response. You aren’t sure whether to lie or be honest, though you fear he knows you too well and will know if you’re lying to him.

“He’s fun.” you shrug. His lips curls into a smirk at that. It tells him all he needs to know without you saying anything at all. You feel defeated, completely and utterly, as you look at his expression. “I don’t want to come between you and your friends, Rin.”

“I don’t care.” he shrugs, “Do what you want.”

His words are like bullets shredding through your skin. You do what you can to maintain your composure, trying to regain control of the situation and the conversation.

“I thought you might be upset when you left the party…”

“No,” he corrects you, his gorgeous teal eyes fixate on your own as he speaks. “I’m tired. I wanted to say goodnight to my girlfriend, but she must already be asleep.”

And, with that, you run out of willpower to continue talking. He sees how tears begin to prick at your eyes, and you try to walk away before they spill over again. You offer him a quick goodnight as you try to hurry back through the cabin and to yours and Chigiri’s room.

He stops you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you back out into the cold.

“You’re unbelievable.” he tells you, bending down so that your noses almost touch. His eyes bore into yours as he offers nothing but a harsh, callous stare. You want to run, but you can’t. His grip on your wrist is firm, and you’re worried the cold temperature will aid in any bruising. The strength of his hold isn’t painful, but the chill of your skin is intensifying it. “You broke up with me. Yet you have the gall to be jealous?”

“That’s not fair…” you whimper, but he’s right. You’ve been saying the same thing all day. Even before you knew he was seeing anyone, you knew you had no right to be upset considering you were the one who ended things. And yet, here you are, trying to defend yourself now that you’re suffering the consequences of your own actions. “I didn’t know you’d move on so quickly… I didn’t know I’d be seeing you again… I didn’t know it would h-hurt.” you hiccup, and you do your best to wipe away your tears with your free hand.

“You just wanted me to grieve forever, yeah?” he wonders. “You thought I’d be waiting in the wings for you, waiting for you to decide you want me back.”

“That’s not true, Rin,” you sniffle, “I care about you. I always will…”

“I don’t want you to.” he informs you. “You’re—”

“I think you still care about me too…” you interrupt him, looking down at the way he grasps harder onto your wrist as you speak. You look up at him again, his face somehow even closer to yours now. “Y-You can’t just turn feelings off that quick… I—”

“I’ve moved on. You’re moving on.” he tells you. “Fuck everyone here for all I care, princess.”

“Rinnie…” a tear silently rolls down your cheek as he calls you a name you never thought you’d hear spill from his lips in reference to you ever again. You can’t help but wonder if he calls his new girlfriend the same sweet names he once called you.

Rin is chillingly composed.

But if only you knew.

He feels a lump in his throat as he replays the way you said Rinnie to him, a nickname long forgotten since your breakup. A name he’d never allow another soul to call him for the rest of his days. It’s yours, all yours. It wouldn’t sound right coming from anyone else, he can’t imagine feeling anything but disdain hearing it from another.

You melt into his touch as he cups your face with his free hand, his thumb swiping at the spilled tear glimmering against your cheek. He looks down at you with a heavy-lidded stare, and you want him.

You miss him.

Especially like this.

His eyes so tired and heavy as he gives into his lust and claims you. Your eyes close completely as you feel his head tilt.

He does still care about you.

He’s going to kiss you. He’s going to cheat on his girlfriend for you. You weren’t far off on your suspicions, after all. He still cares. He might even still love you. You’re too drunk and delirious, though. Your eyes are closed and awaiting his kiss. His are barely open, lazily gazing at you knowing he isn’t about to give you what you so desperately crave.

“Goodnight, princess.” he whispers, the bitter scent of alcohol dusting across your face as he breathes.

You pull away, slowly, horrified that you’ve been denied of a simple kiss twice in one excruciating day. Your wrist is free, now. And he watches as you back away from him. He feels a little bad, but not much. He’s sure you’re only feeling a fraction of the pain and humiliation you put him through when you ended things.

He’s sure you can handle a little rejection.

“Goodnight, Rinnie.” you sniff, walking away calmly until you’re through his room and heading to your own.

You think about telling Chigiri. You even start walking down the stairs so you can cry on his shoulder. But you see him with the boys. His smile is so wide, and he looks really happy. You don’t want to ruin his night, too.

Eita looks up at you, though you don’t catch him looking. You’re too focused on yourself and Chigiri. You don’t notice him follow you as you ascend the stairs. He waits outside of your room as you decide you ought to go to bed.

You don’t even have the energy to take off your makeup or your dress. All you can do is shake your feet until your shoes fly off in different directions. Your body breaks out in goosebumps when you hear a soft knock at the door, and you can only hope your disappointment isn’t obvious when you realise it isn’t Rin coming to talk to you some more.

Eita holds up a joint, offering it to you.

You’re pretty much sober, now.

You’re surprised you haven’t burst into tears, too. So, you nod. You accept his offer, gratefully, hoping you’ll slip off into a blissful sleep once you finish smoking. Eita closes the door behind him, locking it so you won’t be disturbed as he sits on the bed beside you.

© 2023 rinhaler

#rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi smut #rin itoshi x you #itoshi x reader #itoshi smut #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin #rin itoshi #blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #blue lock smut #itoshi rin smut #bllk smut #bllk x fem!reader #tw angst #exes to lovers #tw alcohol consumption #tw drug use

[shadamyheadcanons]

For me, Shadow and Amy's dynamic is basically two different types of touch starved in a person

((If any of the gifs on this post aren’t loading for you on mobile--like they aren’t for me--you can download them or check the sources listed. As for desktop, they play just fine, but they won’t line up next to each other like they do on mobile. Tumblr is a comedy of errors.))

Yes! Absolutely. I’ve seen tons of fans say Shadow is prickly and would respond badly to hugs, but canon says otherwise. This is a bad reaction:

[Sonic 06]

Whenever I feel like being sad, I wonder if Bad-Future-06 Silver has ever been hugged.

This is a bad reaction:

[Sonic Unleashed, gif source.]

And I shouldn’t have to say this, but...yeah. These are very bad reactions:

[Sonic X]

[Sonic Generations]

Yikes. I feel bad for both of them.

But this?

[Sonic Adventure 2, gif source.]

This is Shadow’s only canonical hug in the games, and aside from jumping slightly from being snuck up on, he seems to like it just fine.

Just look at that smile! He’s happy. He finds it endearing.

It was a hug from a complete stranger meant for someone else, but he still drank it in--and, given that he’d effectively just lost Maria, he really did need it. It’s the combination of Amy’s gentleness AND her speech that changed his mind. After all, if someone as sweet as her sees something in the humans, maybe they’re not so bad.

My buddy who runs @shadowxamyweek recently reblogged a post about this hug, and their tags sum it up perfectly:

[ID: A screenshot of tags on a post. The tags read:

#official art #4kids #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #YEAH 😭 #listen I read nothing that has happened with them in SA2 as shippy - and i ship them #THIS HUG? THR SPEECH ON THE ARK? #those are two lonely kids #those are two left behind kids #those are two kids so desperate for affection #for two vastly different reasons #Amy loves with her whole chest and will never stop doing so- no matter what happens #and Shadow does too- that is key to remember- Shadow loves... so fucking much... that it hurts #you are RIGHT op when you say this is probably the first time someone has been gentle with him in a long long time #he doesn't even run away #in the game- when Amy flees- he takes a step after her- a moment's hesitation- a 'wait' #this kid NEEDED a hug #and i firmly believe part of the reason Shadow listens to Amy in the end is BECAUSE she is the only person who showed him gentleness #softness and kindness and affection #if only for a moment #fjdodhdofjgor THIS is what i mean when i say 'be gentle- be kind' #it MATTERS #it FUCKING MATTERS

End ID]

Shadow doesn’t hate hugs inherently; it’s just that no one hugs him in the first place...

...aside from one person.

Amy’s easily the most affectionate character in the cast. It’s cute at first glance, but there’s a common thread to every instance that puts a damper on it.

She’s always, ALWAYS the initiator.

She puts more into each hug than anyone else does.

She’s always the last to pull away.

The most reciprocated Amy hug I know of in canon is this one:

[IDW Sonic issue #22]

Which is absolutely adorable...but Amy still initiated. Because it’s always her job. Even the characters who like affection don’t need it the way she does...with one exception.

And this tiny detail just killed me. The little, “wait, come back 😟”

It’s the only time I know of when someone has actually stepped after her like this. In a game where everyone left Amy behind, he wanted to follow her. Mister so-called-prickly didn’t want the hug to end.

Because he’s the only one who needs it as much as she does.

He wants to be held as much as she wants to hold someone else, and no one else is warm and sincere enough for it. Compare these instances:

[IDW issue #6]

Sonic thinks Shadow is wrong about something, so he grabs Shadow’s arm to stop him, and Shadow aggressively wrenches it away and leaves.

[Archie Sonic Universe #23]

But when Amy thinks Shadow is wrong about something and grabs his arm to stop him, he gently removes her hand and thinks about what she has to say.

Even when he doesn’t want to be touched, he makes the distinction between “don’t touch me” and “not right now, please.” These are from two different continuities, of course, but I think the point stands. Amy’s special. He’s gentler with her than he is with other people, and that’s consistent across all canons.

Side note: how often does Amy get to feel special like that? I actually really like that Sonic doesn’t place others in a hierarchy of importance, and I wouldn’t change that about him even if I could...

[IDW issue #2]

...but Amy does play favorites. I want her to feel like she’s someone else’s favorite, too. I want her to have someone who puts her first and likes her best. I think Shadow’s more than capable of that. I believe he craves clinginess like hers deep down, even if he hasn’t consciously figured that out yet.

I have an entire tag for these two being affectionate. My favorite is probably this one.

Of course, there may be those who say I’m reading too much into one (1) hug. And you know what? Maybe they’re right! We need a bigger sample size. Sega, make more characters hug Shadow, please. Let Rouge comfort him after he confides in her about something. Have Omega give him an awkward metal embrace because he read on the internet that organic beings like that kind of thing. Make Shadow himself pull Silver into a hug when he’s breaking down crying from the stress of always having to be a hero. Show Tails accidentally grab onto him out of fear when they’re trapped in a lightning storm, and when he gets embarrassed and pulls away, have Shadow hold him for the rest of the storm and admit he’s not fond of bright lights, either.

[Sonic Boom]

That scene where Shadow and Amy rescue Cream and Cheese from Cryptic Castle? That easily could’ve turned into a cute group hug.

[Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)]

And I have seen some absolutely adorable fanart where he holds Cream’s hand while he and Amy lead her through Cryptic Castle to make sure she doesn’t get lost 🥺

Have Knuckles give him an empathetic bro-pat on the shoulder when he finds out Shadow’s the last one of his race, too.

[Archie Sonic Universe #89]

Have Sonic try to hug him, and then when Shadow inevitably pushes him away and says he doesn’t do hugs, have Amy arrive and latch onto Shadow instead while he tries to stutter out an excuse as to why she’s allowed to and Sonic isn’t.

The most affection Shadow has in recent history is stuff like this...

[Sonic Prime season 2 episode 1]

...where Sonic tries to hug him and Shadow immediately pushes him away, knocks him over, and tries to punch him in the face. Kind of says it all. Amy stands out as the only one with a good track record here.

[IDW issue #36]

Especially when you have him look at her like this when someone else is on the receiving end of that affection.

So in the absence of further evidence, I have no choice but to interpret this in the most Shadamy way possible. Your move, Sega.

#shadamy #amy rose #shadow the hedgehog #not a headcanon #ask #anonymous #what is it with touch starved hedgehogs? #not the first time i've used the previous tag. says a lot about these characters

[grandlinedreams]

I don’t know if you’ve done something like this before..but could maybe write about a time where reader took care of zoro and then one where he took care of you??

Thank you!!!

Absolutely I can do that for you!! Idk abt anyone else but the softness of taking care of someone when they're sick/hurt,,oof

[Heads up!: fluff, tiny bit of angst, Zoro being Zoro, mention of injuries, mention of being sick]

"Hold still."

Zoro tries to do as you ask, though the tickle of thread pulled through his skin makes him twitch, and he grunts when you swat at his upper arm. "What was that for?"

"I said hold still!"

"I'm trying, damn it!" Zoro huffs, brow furrowed as he does his best not to move any further. "Don't understand why you're the one doin' this anyways."

"Because Chopper is busy taking care of Luffy and Sanji," you explain, holding the black thread taut and snipping it. "And you were already injured, but you popped your stitches." You pause. "Would you rather I let you bleed to death?"

"Guess not."

You pause, raising an eyebrow. "You guess? That's not much of an answer, Zoro." Your expression softens. "Try not to get torn up too many times, okay? I worry about you."

"Don't have to," Zoro grumbles, then studies your handiwork of neat stitches rather the bleeding, ragged mess it'd been when he popped them. "Thanks, I guess."

"No problem." He listens to the click of the first aid kit, the shadow that falls over him as you stand. "Guess I owe you one."

"Not at all." You know he'll probably want to take a nap, and you prepare to take your leave before you glance at him. "We're crewmates, Zoro. We look out for each other."

"Yeah, fair point."

You watch as he leans back, mindful of the fold of his arms behind him as he closes his eyes. You wish you could do as he does, though you understand why he has the knack for sleeping anywhere.

Still, you smile. "Sleep well, Zoro."

ㅡ

You're burning up.

It'd been bad luck to get caught in a bout of nasty weather, the sudden switch from bright and sunny to cold and rainy coming with very little warning, even with Nami's skills.

You'd been busy making sure that the Sunny wasn't battered too badly by the swell of waves and fixing things that'd been shifted with the violent rocking to change clothes ㅡ and now you're paying for it.

Though Chopper had diagnosed it as nothing to be too worried about, Zoro still doesn't like the flush to your cheeks and heat that radiates from your forehead, your breathing strained and uneven.

So he takes it upon himself to keep an eye on you. If anyone asks, it's because his normal spots to nap have lost their appeal at the moment ㅡ but if the look Robin gives him is any indication, she at least knows there's more to it.

Zoro is far from a perfect caretaker, but he tries. He soaks a rag in cold water, squeezes it, then settles it on your forehead, hoping to bring your fever down. When it dries out, he repeats the process.

You drift in and out of fevered sleep, and he listens to the little mumbles ㅡ often of your crewmates, including him. He wonders what you're dreaming about that includes him ㅡ and if it's good.

He highly doubts that it's much in part to him, but he's still pleased when you finally wake enough to want food ㅡ and he goes to get it for you before you can protest.

"Don't need you gettin' everyone else sick," he tells you when he returns with a bowl of soup. (He hadn't even threatened to chuck it at Sanji, who'd been surprised at the lack of verbal barb from the swordsman.)

"What about you?"

He scoffs. "I don't get sick."

The look you give him says you're far from believing that, but you turn your attention to the soup instead. Managing to get at least half of it down, you let Zoro finish the rest of it. (Much as he hates that stupid cook, he does make good food.)

"Thank-you for looking after me." Zoro watches as you sink back down into the heavy mess of blankets, likes to think that there's a little more healthy color to your face.

"Yeah, yeah." He looks away. "It's like you said. We're crewmates, we gotta look out for each other." You stare at him, and he huffs. "Right?"

Your expression softens. "Right."

(You get better after another day or two. And when Zoro does actually catch what you had, you're the one who offers to take care of him.)

#ㅡmine. #one piece scenario #one piece x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #zoro x reader #ㅡanswered. #anonymous #–ml: zoro.

[b0rninh3ll]

Summary: Rollo with an opposite kind of unhinged partner who always says the most out of pocket things out of nowhere when they are alone and no one believes that they actually like each other.

Warnings:obviously English isn’t my first language plus I posted this the moment I finished it, reader is gn, reader is INSECURE, very self inserty, Rollo is decent at comforting, small injury, reader says out of pocket shit because it’s funny. Tell me to add anything if I forgot :P

Words:1.2K

Rollo groans as he wakes up from his sleep to start another day at school, he takes his phone to turn off the alarm and sees a message from his partner.

”I want to get you pregnant”

Rollo just sighed and didn’t open the message and went to the bathroom. As he was making himself coffee a specific ringtone erupted his peace, he answered the call and didn’t say anything waiting for the next surprise.

”about the preg-“

”Please seek professional help”

beep.

it’s too early for him to deal with this, he hears giggling from behind his door. Smiling to himself only, he sighed, hid his smile and opened the door with a frown only his partner would see right through, and that partner is smiling like an idiot. He had to fight the urge to smile back, he doesn’t want to encourage her behavior even if he doesn’t mind it that much.

”hey baby girl” “don’t call me that” 

He smiled very slightly as he looked at them. How can someone who claims to be lazy have so much energy very early in the morning? Unless… Rollo’s smile disappeared and he crossed his arms with his head held high.

”You didn’t sleep didn’t you?” His partner flinched and looked anywhere but Rollo’s eyes, swinging side to side “whaatt? Of course I did- no I didn’t” one look at Rollo's eyes made them tell the truth, they already knew that lying won’t get them anywhere with Rollo. Especially with his very unconvinced face.

”buutt the new character was about to be released” they whined as they explained themselves, knowing at it wouldn’t change anything but trying won’t hurt “you know how long I have waited for it-“ Rollo raised his hand, noticing his partner’s worry “I’m not mad, I just don’t want you to tell behind on your studies.” He said it as a fact, not afraid to somewhat show his worry.

They looked at him for a moment before smiling, knowing even when he said he wouldn’t, he would lap them even when they didn't help themselves. They hold his arm, almost spilling his coffee with how much force they hold him. He walked around the school doing his work while his partner walked close by, his assistants joked about them being a package deal.

After classes at the student council room, Rollo was doing his work while his partner was (forcefully by Rollo) doing their homework. Saying that he's around he can help them instead of them calling in the middle of the night to help with a simple math question. 

He looked to the side as he noticed the sound of pen writing had stopped for a while, he saw his partner looking down in deep thought. Not in the “if I used that weapon one that character” kind of thought but something must have happened to leave them with such expression, kind of thought.

He called their name multiple times, raising his voice every time until they answered him “what are you so in deep thought about?” He looked at them in the eyes, in a way trying to tell them there is no way of getting out of this.

They stayed silent for a moment, just looking at Rollo’s eyes. As if begging him not to open that can of worms, Rollo’s eyes didn’t give them a chance to escape, equally begging them to open up.

”have you.. heard what everyone has been saying?” Rollo frowned, he was confused. This is not something they usually worry about, they always told him not to care what others say especially when it comes to their relationship. It seems to be a sensitive topic for them, from their actions. Avoiding eye contact, stuttering, heavy breathing and biting their nails. So he tried to be patient.

”No, I have not.” He’s too busy to know or care about what anyone thinks about him or his partner. “Care to tell me?” He slowly holds their hand, to stop them from hurting themselves. Which was a little late. Their fingertips are already bleeding, he sighs and opens one of his drawers, taking out bandages and helping them.

They hissed, not enjoying their current situation. “They say I don’t deserve you” they looked away, feeling ashamed to even entertain the thought “they think you are with me because you pity me or that I’m annoying you” Rollo listened to them without interrupting, wanting to hear everything from them before speaking his thoughts. “Am I.. Too much?”.

He stopped for a second to process their question, “what do you mean?” He looked them in the eyes after finishing putting on the bandage, trying to figure them out. “You know like.. Too much to handle? Annoying and insufferable.. A nuisance?” They kept their eyes away from his, the shame killing them inside out.

Rollo knew how insecure his partner can be, but it surprised him it reached their relationship. He didn’t even give himself to think and answered them.

“no, I don’t think of you this lowly” He awkwardly tried to comfort them by holding their hand with both of his, looking around just as awkwardly to try and find his words. “If I did, I wouldn’t be here with you, right?” He’s trying his best and he knows his partner understands, to them that he’s trying is more than enough but they kept silent.

He raised his hand, to emphasize his point. “Just because you would, doesn’t mean I would” He smiled, a barely noticeable one as they laughed. They know it’s true, they didn’t have the best relationships with almost anyone in their life so they assume that everyone is like them, it’s nice to be reminded that it’s not normal.

”May I ask, from whom did you hear it?” Rollo said as he went back to do his work, wanting to get to the bottom of this situation. “Oh, will usually when we are walking or just sitting alone I tend to hear people talk” “oh so your hearing decides to be good when it’s people bad mouthing you?” At that they laughed loudly, holding their mouth to keep it down.

”I can’t even disagree on that..” They looked down and smiled a small one “I’m sorry, really. It’s just they came at the worst time” they smiled apologetically, looking at Rollo  begging for forgiveness. Even though he wasn't mad to begin with “don’t worry about it,just like how you handled my worst, I’m here for yours.”

Their smile turned warm, putting their head on Rollo’s shoulder “Thank you, truly” they closed their eyes and sighed. “No problem” he smiled, knowing they can’t see it.

”so, about the preg-“ “sigh…”

….

“Did you take the pic??” “Yeah!” Two students peaked through the door, they chuckled and left the two love birds on their own. “They owe us so much money!” “Thought that was to stop the rumors so it would stop upsetting them?” “Oh yeah that too!”

One day I AM using my artistic skills to draw me getting him pregnant

Also high coms are open :3

#twisted wonderland #rollo #rollo flamm #rollo flamme #twst rollo #twisted wonderland rollo #rollo x reader #disney twst #Twisted wonderland x reader #Pregnancy jokes are so funny to me #Getting a man pregnant is a joke and a reality to me #Especially for him

[myths-tournaments]

Awful Characters Round 2 Part 1 (2/8)

Propaganda under the cut!

IANTHE TRIDENTARIUS

Her number one hobby is ruining every person's that she knows life. Her second hobby is being soooo slutty about it despite looking like a literal wet rat. Her third hobby is having an extremely unhealthy relationship with her twin. Her other hobbies include cannibalism, wearing a maid outfit, being extremely convinced she is the main character, the badboy sexy love interest and the villain. 'Why', you may ask. Well, the answer is, for shits and giggles #justgirlythings i, aswell as literally everybody else in the fandom have gone through the pipeline from hating her to desperately wanting to fuck her. expect for i still fucking hope she dies and doesn't come back for good. (that would literally solve all of everybody's problems) as god intended (EXPECT FOR. one of her hobbies literally is gaslighting god) She is fucking horrible i will love her until i die and even after that

parks and recs jean ralphio voice she's the woooorst!! The moment she learns she has to kill someone to become a Lyctor (aka a more special necromancer), she doesn't hesitate to kill and cannibalize the guy who has been her cavalier since childhood… cavalier who she also totally bullied as kids, she was allowed to choose one guest for her and her twin sister's birthday party each year, and she would always pick whoever she thought her cavalier didn't want to see there! While other characters are shown to regret the process of becoming a Lyctor (which involves someone close to them dying)/were forced into it because of circumstances, Ianthe has absolutely no regrets, she believes she did what she had to do

The author once said of Ianthe: "I don't think she's been nice to anyone, if she has I'll go back and change it." She killed and ate the soul of someone she has known all her life so that she could become a necromantic saint and tormented him plenty before that. General negging, ganging up against him, always inviting people he didn't like to their birthday parties. She doesn't regret killing him. I think she is repulsed by the idea that his digested soul is affecting hers. She helped her crush lobotomise herself so she would be in Ianthe's debt, and later lied and said she didn't see the corpse of a woman her crush killed under her bed (why did she do that? I do not know). She has a bone arm because her original arm was cut off, she hated the replacement so her crush cut THAT off and grew her a new one out of just bones. She had it gilded and only after that did she decide to help her crush deal with the person who had been repeatedly trying to kill her. She wants so badly to be the main character but people keep interrupting her villain monologues.

she has her own content warning tag

She's such a bitch to everyone all the time, she causes nothing but problems, she tries to do a villain speech but fumbles it because her tummy hurt, she is the awfulgirl of all time

THE SKULL

he is an evil ghost who used to be an assistant to a mad scientist gravedigger. accomplice to murder and torture and general evil scheming. now he lives in a jar and is besties with a teenage girl. and by besties i mean he encourages her to kill people and constantly cheers when her friends almost die. overall a silly little decapitated head <3

It is literally a skull in a jar. (More context if you don’t know the books/show: it’s a ghost source that’s been trapped in a silver container so it can’t escape. And it’s exceptionally powerful which means it can actually communicate with mc.) It frequently encourages the mc to commit various morally reprehensible acts such as homicide (she never does). When it was alive, it was a teenage boy who was apprenticed to an evil scientist.

#awful characters tournament #tournament poll #awful characters round 2 #the locked tomb #tlt #ianthe tridentarius #lockwood and co #the skull

[in1-nutshell]

Hello again! I have an idea for Transformers: Rise of the Beast. Before the Rise of the Beast begin, when Unicron and Primus battled against each other long time ago: Primus defeated Unicron by splitting him into two persons - one half is good while the other half is evil. Even though Unicron did horrible things, he just couldn't kill his brother, that's why he split him because he wants his brother's good half to have a chance to start over. Centuries later when the Rise of the Beasts begin, the good Unicron woke up on Earth with no memory of anything, himself, and his name. The Autobots meets the amnesiac young Unicron when they were looking for the Transwarp Key. Elena befriended the good amnesiac Unicron and named him Buddy and became partners. When Autobots meets Scourge again, they heard Scourge told Buddy that he is Unicron's good half and his master -Unicron- plans to use Buddy as a vessel, Buddy didn't believe him angrily, refuse to believe he is Unicron until he absorbed the dark energy from Airazor that saved her and Unicron temporarily possessed Buddy that nearly killed his friends and allies until his friendship with Elena snapped him out of the possession...it has devastated him and scared of himself - afraid of hurting everyone. Buddy suffered with guilt at nearly killing his friends and at what he has done as Unicron. Elena comforted Buddy, telling him he doesn't have to be Unicron again, Buddy can't change the past, but he can choose to be better than what he used to be. With that, Buddy is determined and ready to take responsibility for what he has done. Before the battle with Unicron, Buddy said to the Autobots and the Maximals, "Guys, even if I don't remember anything when I was Unicron, I know what I did as Unicron is very unforgivable. Alot of your friends and family are gone...because of me. I understand you will never forgive me for all of this and I'm not asking for forgiveness, but I want you all to know is that I'm...so sorry, for everything. I know apologies means nothing to you. You don't trust me...I don't even trust myself, but I promise I will help you to stop all this madness and I will try to be better. Primus gave me a second chance...and I won't mess this up again. I will protect your people and humans until my last breath." Characters Elena, Airazor, Optimus Prime, and Optimus Primal. Please and thank you wonderful person. (Good God, that is a long text than I planned it, sorry about that. You can change this, shorten it, turn it into parts, or ignore it. I hope you have a good day/night.)

Ooooh! Never worked with a Buddy like this before, this should be interesting.

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy being Unicron's good side and fights for the Maximals and Autobots with Elena, Airazor, Optimus Prime, and Optimus Primal

SFW, Angst, Platonic, Cybertronain reader

ROTB

When they woke up the first thing they saw where the twinkling of the stars above them.

They looked around them seeing a bunch of leafy vegetation and in front of them a bunch of smoldering rocks.

That place looked as if it was destroyed recently.

They didn’t like the look of it.

They did see some little organic creatures here and there, but their tanks told them not to trust them.

They waited until most had left and moved out of the area.

They really didn’t know what they were doing, they just let their body decide where to go next.

They eventually reached a dark port nearby the area where they woke up.

They heard voices.

Some angry.

Some sad.

Some resentful.

They moved a bit closer to the sound before accidentally kicking a pipe with their pede.

Then something shot right next to them making them scream and fall flat on their aft.

Several beings came towards them.

Some of them where the smaller organic creatures from earlier and the others…

They looked almost like themselves.

Optimus looking at the intruder.

“Who are you!”--Optimus

The bot cowers a bit at the sudden harshness in his voice.

“Woah Prime, chill a bit. I don’t think they’re gonna hurt anyone.”--Mirage

The bot hugs their pedes close to themselves slightly shaking.

Airazor hops a bit closer to the intruder.

“What is your name?”--Airazor

The intruder opens their mouth but pauses and thinks.

“I… I don’t think I have one of those…”

“You do not have a name?”--Arcee

The intruder shakes their helm.

“I just woke up a couple of hours ago. I don’t…I don’t know who I am or what my name is…”

Elena moves towards them.

They shrink a bit.

“Its okay…I’m not gonna hurt you.”--Elena

Elena gently pats their pede with trusting eyes.

They relax a bit.

“Do you all have names?”

“I am Airazor, this is Optimus Prime, Mirage, and Arcee. The humans are Noah and Elena.”--Airazor

Buddy noticed the bot laying on the floor by them.

“Who is he? Is he taking a nap too?”

“He’s—”--Arcee

“He need rest… he is not well…”--Optimus

Optimus offered his servo to the bot.

They look at it and slowly reach for it as he helps them onto their pedes.

“We need to give you a name.”--Elena

“What kind of name?”

“How about Breaker?”--Arcee

“Breaker?”--Noah

“Thundercowl!”--Mirage

The bot cringes a bit.

“That doesn’t really suit me…”

“How about Buddy?”--Elena

Their helm perks.

“I like the sound of that. Buddy… I like it.”--Buddy

While the humans had to go home for tomorrow’s expedition.

They were informed by Airazor about the next day’s events and some of the history between their kind.

Buddy didn’t like hearing much about the war and destruction that this Unicron was doing.

“I may not know too much about all this war and Unicron. But I do know I cannot just stand by and let this happen. Please, let me help you in any way possible.”--Buddy

Prime looks at Buddy with a bit of pride.

“Thank you, Buddy.”--Optimus

Buddy beams a little bit with the positive words.

The next morning everyone arrived just in time for Stratosphere to show up.

Buddy could definitely agree with Mirage about wanting to walk all the way to Peru. The giant mech looked like they were going to fall apart at any moment.

But now they were sitting squishing inside Stratosphere.

Buddy was absolutely terrified of the heights they were going.

Buddy holding their pedes close to their chassis.

Prime looking over at Buddy.

“Buddy? Are you all, right?”--Optimus

Buddy squeezes their optics shut.

“This is the first time I’ve been up this high. And quite frankly Prime, I’m not a fan of it.”--Buddy

“Got it. Flying kinda sucks, but it’s not too bad.”--Mirage

“Yeah, but I just woke up yesterday and now I’m thousands of miles up in the air.”--Buddy

Arcee flicks his helm.

“Oops? Kinda forgot about that part.”--Mirage

Some turbulence starts shaking the plane.

Buddy squeezes their optics even more.

They feel a servo on their shoulder.

It was the Prime’s.

“He didn’t say anything but kept his servo firmly on their shoulder.

Buddy appreciated the gesture, but they were still far from okay.

“Elena?”--Noah

Buddy turns to see Elena slowly moving towards Buddy with her shaky knees. Noah followed behind her.

Buddy reached out to hold her and Noah steady.

“What are you doing? Shouldn’t you two be sitting down?”--Buddy

Elena grabbed onto Buddy’s frame and sat down next to them.

“You looked like you could use a friend.”--Elena

Noah moves to Buddy’s other side where Mirage was.

Mirage took advantage of his new friend and held him onto his lap ignoring his slight protests.

Buddy grabbed Elena and placed her on their lap with a secure hold on the human.

They stayed like that for the rest of the trip.

Buddy didn’t like the idea of Noah and Elena going into town be themselves with this ‘Scrouge’ fellow and his crew around.

Not one bit.

But there was also little that Buddy could do.

They didn’t even have an alt mode to blend in with the others in the city.

Buddy ended up staying with Airazor for most of the mission.

The two did talk a bit to pass the time.

Enough for Buddy to feel safe with the Maximal.

She was nice.

She told them some stories about her team and her family before they sought refuge on Earth.

When Elena and Noah began screaming about being followed Buddy nearly blew their cover.

They had to follow Wheeljack and Arcee to the back roads and thick jungle in order to keep up.

When Buddy saw a giant mech yell at Elena and Noah, they immediately jumped in front of them and produced a sword from their back.

“Back off!”--Buddy

Noah slightly lowering his blaster at Buddy suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

“When did you get the sword?!”--Noah

“I don’t know!”--Buddy

“How do you not know you have a sword that big with you? Its almost as big as you?!”--Noah

Everyone starts showing up.

“When did Buddy get armed?”--Mirage

“I don’t know!”--Buddy

And with an explanation had cleared the tense air.

Buddy had placed their sword back and turned to the Maximal leader.

Another Optimus.

Optimus Primal.

They greeted him and the rest of the Maximals warmly.

Primal was a bit startled by the mystery bot.

They looked ancient.

“Who are you if I may ask?”--Primal

Buddy chuckling a bit.

“I’d like to know that too honestly.”--Buddy

“They lost their memory. They ‘woke up’ just yesterday.”--Elena

Primal looks at Buddy.

“You are very brave to have come on this journey Buddy. Especially without knowing who you are and your purpose.”--Primal

“It wasn’t too hard. I want to help protect this planet where my friends live on.”--Buddy

“And! So, we can get back to Cybertron. Maybe we can get you looked on when we get back home.”--Mirage

Buddy smiles at Mirage and walks to Airazor.

They notice the rust stains on her back.

“Airazor?”--Buddy

“I’m fine Buddy, no one leaves Scrouge without getting… touched.”--Airazor

Buddy drops the topic but does glance at Airazor’s back every now and then.

Soon enough they all reached the human camp where they would rest for the night.

Buddy kept watch for their friends as they slept.

They felt as if they slept too much.

They didn’t feel tired.

Buddy was the first to be alerted about Airazor erratic behavior.

Elena followed behind Buddy.

Buddy was surprised when Airazor tried to attack Elena.

They held her as she thrashed around in their arms.

The burns were visible, and it made Buddy sick to their tanks.

How could a monster do this to such a kind soul?

Airazor managed to launch Buddy far enough to see Elena and Noah run into the woods with the two leaders following behind.

Buddy started at Airazor in horror as she picked up Elena and carried her off.

They ran and ran trying to keep up with them.

By the time they reached the mountain top they saw Primal start to crush Airazor’s chassis. He was going to…

Buddy’s frame moved on its own.

They kicked Primal off of Airazor and wrestled her down themselves.

Through the kicking and thrashing Buddy managed to place both of their servos on both sides of her helm.

Everything went black.

It was almost like they were back in that sleep again.

It was nice.

Almost nostalgic in a way.

But then swore they heard someone call them.

The voice started getting louder.

They looked around for the voice.

It sounded familiar.

Then it hit them.

Elena.

But why was she calling them?

Why did she sound so upset?

The last call woke them up.

Their optics were unfocused as the colors were blending.

The blobs were starting to make shapes.

They blinked a couple times suddenly feeling exhausted.

They looked at their servos.

One had the sword in it.

The other…

Elena?

She looked slightly terrified and relief.

Why was she terrified?

They heard Airazor and Primal tell them to carefully place Elena down.

That’s when Buddy became fully aware of their surroundings.

Noah was being held by Mirage rather protectively with Arcee and Wheeljack in front of him.

Optimus Prime was holding his sides in pain as was Primal.

Airazor looked okay but there were obvious signs of injuries.

Injuries that weren’t there when Buddy had…

The sword.

Elena.

Buddy carefully placed Elena down who was slightly holding her sides.

It struck them.

They did this.

They hurt their friends.

“I…did this…?”--Buddy

Buddy dropped their sword and fell backward and quickly backs into the stone wall behind them.

They are shaking and tears start clouding their vision.

“Why would I… what happened?”--Buddy

Airazor taking a step forward.

“You… you took Scrouges touch from me. In doing so you became Unicron’s vessel.”--Airazor

“But how…”--Buddy

“Because Scrouge told us you are the other half of Unicron.”--Primal

Buddy feels their spark drop.

“I’m what…”--Buddy

“Long ago Primus had fought with his brother Unicron. Unable to bear the loss of his brother, he split Unicron into two different entities. The Unicron we know from myths and…you.”--Prime

Buddy stares at their servos.

“I…I’m Unicron? I…I…”--Buddy

Buddy stifles a cry as they wrap themselves up into a ball trying to get as far away from their friends as possible.

“Hey Buddy. You’re not him.”--Elena

Buddy peaks out to see Elena just feet away from them.

Buddy tries even harder to get away from her.

“I am…I’m…I’m a monster. I hurt all my friends. I hurt you!”--Buddy

Elena shakes her head gently placing her hand on Buddy’s pede.

They just stiffen at the touch.

“You’re not a monster, okay?”--Elena

Noah gets out of Mirage’s grip and walks to Buddy.

“Buddy. Would you ever hurt us?”--Noah

“But I just—“--Buddy

“That was Unicron, not you. Do you want to hurt us now?”--Noah

“No—”--Buddy

“Then you’re not a monster. Only a true monster would want to hurt their friends. Unicron was just using you, like a puppet. You had no control over it.”--Noah

“He’s right. Buddy you gotta listen to us.”--Elena

“You saved my life Buddy.”--Airazor

“No monster would save a life. The monsters seek to take them before their time.”--Primal

Prime walks over to Buddy and offers his servo.

Buddy hesitates but ultimately reaches his servo and lets him pull them up.

The reality of Unicron once again hits everyone.

He needed to be stopped.

For the safety of this planet.

For the safety of Cybertron.

For the humans.

For their friends and family.

Buddy vowed to not let them down.

Their evil half can throw whatever he had, but as long as their spark still burned, they will not fall.

Not now.

Not ever.

#transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #transformers rotb #rotb x platonic reader

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 6

you saw me as someone worth saving.

i didn’t want what happened to change the way you saw me.

we’re gonna get through this. we kind of have to.

sometimes our mistakes follow us.

in fact, i did not start out a bad person.

glory’s fine. revenge is more fun.

as usual, i make the wrong decision.

i was scared. i’m just tired of being scared. 

all that rage is bad for your complexion. 

you are so sweet and naive and dumb.

curious. how many more rock bottoms are you going to have to hit before you start taking care of yourself?

i used to think a lot of shit matters.

talking makes things real. and real things end.

i wanted to be a part of your world. but i didn’t know your world was like this. 

i’m so sick of people telling me who i am.

the guilt of it all. what are we supposed to do with that? 

i don’t want to be afraid anymore.

it’s like i always used to need someone else to make me feel whole. 

you didn’t let me down.

you’re this fiery, passionate person.

we’re working to stop the monsters and to stop people from turning into monsters.

it’s important to have an exit plan that’s more than just an exit.

maybe it’s not so bad when you’re the one holding the knife.

at least i know who i am.

i’m nobody’s guiding light.

i don't belong to anybody.

i was alone. surrounded by people, but still alone.

rise and shine, we’re in hell. 

this is the worst it’s been. that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

you’re going dark on me again.

if you’re bullshitting me, i don’t care.

i never wanted to be the bad guy.

why did anyone ever do shit for me when all i ever did was let them down?

look at you, always standing in my fucking way.

your memory is like… lethally selective.

what if we end up making each other freaking miserable?

what if i hurt you? i’ve hurt people before. very badly.

for what it’s worth, i’m proud of you.

you’re the future, kid. never forget that. 

i guess i just want it to make some kind of sense.

however this plays out, i’m seeing it through with you.

you’ve done a lot, no question. but there is always more.

you believed in me when i didn’t.

this may shock you, but not everyone here likes you.

this place makes you face your demons or something, and turns out, your demons are really fucking ugly.

maybe in the end it’ll be me and you trying together. 

maybe it makes me selfish. i don’t think it makes me wrong.

there’s a whole world out there for you. go. fight for it. be brave.

i'm talking the greater good. doesn't always have to be what's best for everybody.

it doesn’t matter how shitty they are. it still fucks you up when they’re gone.

sometimes, someone comes into your life at just the right moment, you know?

stop being mad at me for wanting a different future.

you’re not like the others. but you know that, don’t you?

this isn’t pressure. it’s winning. 

i want a life where we can just… be. 

the worst has already fucking happened. i don’t think i’ve got it in me to be that scared about something that could be good.

we can’t save anyone until we save ourselves.

if you’re with me, i need you to say it.

what gives you the right to choose who lives and who dies?

i don’t know how this is going to end or what happens to me, but for whatever it’s worth, i am with you. 

why am i always doing bad things in your dreams?

you don’t trust anybody else to take care of things.

enough people have died. 

tell me you didn’t kill anyone. if you say it, i’ll believe you.

thank you for believing in me. 

i don’t wanna die.

i was just following your lead the whole time. we all were.

i’m not a hero. i’m just helping a friend.

i don’t think this is goodbye. 

you need someone to help get you there, and you have to get there.

i’m sorry you met me, but i’m glad i got to know you. i’ll never forget you.

can’t i just blame everything on my mother and be done with it?

the whole world’s haunted.

i did monstrous things. 

you’re happy. which you’re allowed to be, in case you didn’t know.

just because someone saved your life doesn’t mean you have to live the rest of it for them.

it is not up to you to carry everyone else.

put your trust in other people. in me.

sometimes, helping hurts like hell.

i just wish sometimes i had a map to figure you out.

it’s a crazy world out here, full of people who sometimes disappoint us, but it’s damn beautiful.

i’m sorry. small words for something so big.

what do you live for? living takes effort now, it takes everything. those still alive have their reasons.

the world is nothing without hope.

think about what you want. what you truly want.

the bad things we do must be done. we carry that burden so the others don’t have to.

i’m gonna screw with your life just like the way you did with mine.

this place, it’s safe. it’s good for everybody.

we take what we got, and we make it work.

they changed the game, so we change how we play.

oh my god, you killed him.

#* #sentence prompts #ask memes #rp ask meme #rp sentence prompts #one liner starters #ask meme #meme

[onigiriico]

Muu audio drama (t2) - English TL

[ links: Spotify / YT Music ]

Behold, the longest voice drama I’ve ever posted. This thing is almost 2.3k words long. I am in pain /lh

As always, feel free to head to my ask box or my Twitter (now actually with open DMs lmao) for any questions, potential mistranslations, etc.!

Also,, Trigger warning (aside from. well. the usual Milgram things): Towards the end, they discuss another character’s threat of suicide. It’s nothing super graphic, but there sure are... opinions on it, so please proceed with caution if that’s a touchy topic for you!

⬇️ translation under the cut ⬇️

(door opens)

M: Ah, it’s been a while, Warden-san. – Things have gotten tough, haven’t they… Everyone seems to be struggling and the whole atmosphere feels tense because everyone’s struggling, it’s really troublesome.

E: Is that so?

M: But as for me, I think Milgram has become a lot more comfortable! I know now that I can get whatever I want if I ask for it, so I don’t need to be so on edge anymore.

E: …

M: You did say that you and Milgram are our allies, and maybe you were right all along!

E: …

M: Aww, it’s boring if it’s just me talking! We’re talking to each other for the first time in a while, so you tell me about something interesting too, Warden-san~

E: You’re in pretty high spirits.

M: Am I?

E: I feel like you’ve brightened up.

M: Maybe…

E: But following the judgment after your first trial, the situation in Milgram has changed. And in the aftermath, Kotoko has attacked people too… From how I remember you, I would have expected you to feel uneasier than this.

M: Huh? But that has nothing to do with me.

E: What?

M: The ones who are suffering are the ones who have done bad things, right? You know, like, what goes around comes around.

E: …

M: Besides, Kotoko hurt and was mean to the people who didn’t get forgiven by you, right?

E: …Yeah.

M: Wouldn’t it be weird for me to have any thoughts on that, then? After all, I didn’t do anything wrong. You forgave me!

E: …

M: Eh? Is something wrong? Those who didn’t get forgiven by you must be bad people, if you ask me! I believe in you, Warden-san, so I’d hope you feel happy!

E: …Thanks for that.

M: See, you said you forgave me and that’s part of your job, so it’s probably right! Come on, come on, have some confidence!

E: … Speaking of which, you seem to be pretty close to Haruka.

M: …? Yeah! He’s the one I get along with best in Milgram!

E: Do you have some kind of goal with that?

M: Huh? E: Haruka’s loyalty towards you is one thing, but with this kind of relationship, I think it’s only natural to wonder if you’re using him for something.

M: Ehh… Warden-san, do you not have any friends?

E: Huh?

M: Are there any?

E: None that I could think of.

M: Wow, poor thing,.. I’ll teach you! Friends aren’t like that, you know. Rather than using each other for something, we just get along because we’re comfortable around each other. That’s all.

E: Well, I’m sorry about that.

M: Haruka-kun is really nice! He accepts anything I say, he listens to anything I tell him. For me, that’s really comfortable.

E: And that’s… “friendship”?

M: What do you mean? Of course we’re friends! Haruka-kun is happy with it, so it only has benefits for both of us!

E: I, as someone who has no friends, can’t judge, of course, but isn’t that just exploitation?

M: Exploitation…? Um, I don’t really understand, but… I do help him pick out clothes [in return], and I recently gave him a hairpin I didn’t need anymore as a hand-me-down!

E: …

M: We also have in common that we’re both people who were forgiven by you, Warden-san, so I don’t think it’s a relationship that anyone could have a problem with! E: … I already said this to Haruka, but Milgram consists of three trials, and I have only forgiven you this once. I think it’s too early to feel completely safe.

M: Eh~ You already decided to forgive me. I think it’d be uncool to be like, “Oh, actually, nevermind” now.

E: This is just how it is.

M: It’s fine already, isn’t it? You saw me, didn’t you? And from that, you decided that I haven’t done anything wrong, didn’t you?

E: Yeah, that’s right. For the first trial, that is.

M: It’s the same no matter how many times we do this. I’m me, after all. That won’t change.

E: If I keep looking from now on, will I come across something that puts you in a less positive light?

M: Eh?

E: Milgram reveals the truth through videos and music. After deciding whether to forgive you or not in the first trial, I’ll continue to dig deeper, searching for the truth inside your hearts once again.

M: …

E: For example: Things that you hid. Things that you forgot about. Things that weren’t visible through the rest of your strong feelings. Those are things that I’ll be shedding light on.

M: Hmm…

E: Or at least it might be.

M: …I don’t get it, but whatever. I haven’t done anything wrong, after all.

E: Is that so? It’s true that I’ve forgiven you once… but I remember feeling uneasy about it the whole time. Was it really right to forgive you? Aren’t you still hiding something? Things like that.

M: …Why… would you think stuff like that? That’s mean, Warden-san… You saw me, didn’t you? All the awful things that were done to me, that I couldn’t have escaped from without killing someone! I can’t believe you’re saying this to me, after I’ve gone through all of that… Warden-san, you’re mean.

E: Maybe I am. Your pain and suffering has certainly reached me. Or should I call it bullying? One-sided violence and mistreatment… I’m sure it was difficult to handle. It’s not unreasonable to come to the conclusion that murder is the only way for a weak person to get out of that. That’s exactly why I forgave you.

M: Yeah… If I hadn’t done that, I could have died some day.

E: But – are you actually that weak, Muu?

M: Huh?

E: That’s the source of my unease. Are you really that weak? Were you really getting picked on for being a weakling?

M: What do you mean?

E: How did it come to that in the first place? What was the cause? That’s what I don’t know. You could say it was conveniently omitted.

M: …

E: Even you yourself refuse to go there. Is it a topic that you don’t want to touch upon?

M: … Warden-san, I think you’re really doing something bad. Isn’t it a bad thing to act like there has to be something wrong with someone for them to get bullied?

E: Oh?

M: No matter the circumstances, it’s always the bullies who are in the wrong! Isn’t that obvious? Warden-san, you’re so smart, but you don’t even know things like that? Maybe you should take some lessons on morals or something.

E: …

M: Besides, even if I’ve done something wrong, there’s nothing that could justify bullying someone. Warden-san, I thought you were a nicer person.

E: So sorry that I’m not living up to your expectations.

M: If you’re reflecting on it, I’m willing to forgive you, though…

E: Could I ask the generous Muu to spoil me by letting me ask one more question, then?

M: What is it? If it’s a boring question, I don’t wanna.

E: Let’s say you’ve done nothing wrong—

M: Not “let’s say”! I have done nothing wrong!

E: Got it, got it. So, even though you’ve done nothing wrong – you got bullied. Why do you think that is?

M: I don’t know that! I mean, my family is rich, and my appearance stands out [in a good way], too… they probably did it out of envy or prejudice or something, right?

E: Right, right. And here I was with the theory that you were originally in the opposite position…

M: (slams her hands down)

E: …!

M: What are you saying…?

E: Just that it could also be speculated that you bullied someone and the tables turned on you.

M: Do you know what an awful thing you’re saying right now?

E: What are you getting this angry for? You’ve done nothing wrong, right?

M: Warden-san… I hate you.

E: This is just speculation. Don’t get so mad.

M: …

E: So what? Can you not give me an answer?

M: I haven’t bullied anyone. I’d never do such a mean thing! I’ve never hit anyone or poured water over anyone’s head. I wouldn’t do something like that! I’m not lying! I’m not telling you lies! I really haven’t done anything!

E: I see. I’ll take note of that.

M: … Um… um, by the way, Warden-san! I don’t know about this, but…

E: What?

M: You forgave me because I just gave my bullies their payback, right?

E: …Well… I guess so.

M: What was it called again… Revenge… Revenge? That means revenge can be [an acceptable motivator], right? And if you don’t forgive me this time, that’d mean that it’s not. If we leave aside the thing you said earlier about me maybe having bullied someone before – not that I actually did that, of course!

E: Sure.

M: So if I paid back what my bullies did to me, that would be revenge, right? And if you feel like I had no other choice than that, then don’t you have to forgive me?

E: … Uh… I’m not really sure what you’re trying to say…

M: You see, if you think that me bullying someone back after being bullied is the natural course of events, then wouldn’t it be bad to bully me back again in return?

E: …

M: But if you were like, “I won’t forgive you, Muu! Revenge is bad!,” then wouldn’t that imply that it’s also bad for me to bully someone back after they bullied me? Since we’ve all done something bad anyway, doesn’t that mean that I’ve not done anything wrong in the end?

E: …I think I’m kinda… starting to get your point… maybe…

M: … Warden-san, are you maybe not that intelligent, after all…?

E: Well, sorry about that.

M: Well, I guess it’s to be expected. You talk to a rabbit, after all. (giggles) Either way, you’ve understood that I haven’t done anything wrong, so it’s okay!

E: I sure have understood that talking to you isn’t getting me anywhere. But I guess since you made this explanation, I’ll take it into consideration.

M: Ah, but if you don’t forgive me, Haruka-kun will die, so I think it’d be best to not do that.

E: …!

(bell rings, machinery whirrs)

E: So you’ve heard about that nonsense too?

M: Yeah. Haruka-kun told me. So I could rest easy, according to him. That made me happy… It made me really feel our friendship!

E: You know about it and you’re not trying to stop him? Haruka, that is?

M: Why would I? Haruka-kun says he wants to do it, so there’s nothing I can do, right?

E: But you’re calling him your friend.

M: Isn’t it exactly because he’s my friend? Isn’t friendship about letting your friends do the things they want? … Are you about to tell me “that’s not what friendship is”? Then what is friendship? You’re together because it’s beneficial for everyone involved, aren’t you?

E: I don’t think Haruka is benefitting from that at all.

M: No way… It’s not like you could know what’s good for him.

E: …You sure are tough to beat.

M: I really don’t understand what you’re trying to say, Warden-san. It’s Haruka-kun’s personal freedom to decide what he wants to do, and I’m not doing anything wrong. It’s not like I’ve asked him to do it!

E: I see. That’s how it is, huh. You don’t say anything; just because you’re present, your surroundings’ wishes change to benefit you— Oh, so that’s it. Like a born queen. No, it’s like you’re influencing your surroundings not with words, but with pheromones… Just like a queen bee.

M: Pheromones…? I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I don’t like that lewd-sounding stuff…

E: That’s not the nuance I was talking about.

M: Either way, there’s people who deserve to be unforgiven more than I do, so I think you should focus your efforts on them instead. Like, Kotoko-san has done something bad, for example. Ah, but what she did was approved by you, wasn’t it?

E: …You’re making my blood boil.

M: Anyway… I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe too. Ah, actually, couldn’t you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won’t run amok, and you won’t have to think about all the difficult stuff.

E: That is… a very attractive proposal.

M: Right? (giggles)

E: Abandoning all the thinking… How nice it would be if I could just do that.

M: … If you ask me, I don’t really get why you don’t do it…

E: Because this is the role I’m playing.

M: But the role was given to you, wasn’t it? You didn’t end up doing this because you wanted to, right? It’s not a dream you’ve had for a long time or anything, right, Warden-san? So there’s no need to let it tie you down. Couldn’t you just quit?

E: What are you…

M: Warden-san, we call you “Warden” because that’s what you are, right? I was assigned to be a prisoner, but that doesn’t mean my heart will become just that of a “prisoner” too. After all, I’m still me.

E: …!

M: Warden-san, are you okay? Are you feeling sick again?

E: (heavy breathing)

M: That’s because you keep thinking too much about difficult things. Just stop. Being the Warden, that is.

E: … Just— shut up, already! Prisoner no.4, Muu! Sing your sins!

#milgram #milgram music videos #muu kusunoki #milgram muu #milgram es #translation #fan translation #audio drama #the links might not work for the americans yet if you're here early bc it only comes out at midnight but. y'know #this sure is. yeah. (deep breath) yeah. #please forgive me if I messed up on the revenge-related mental gymnastics lmao my brain is not big enough for this

[archivalofsins]

Q6: Is there a prisoner you aren’t fond of?

Kazui: To be honest, that'd be Kashiki-chan as well. She shows me things I’m not that fond of seeing.

TL;DR: Kazui is the type that states he was lying to protect others, Yuno is the type who'd say, "I was just being honest" in the face of those she's hurt. Despite being incredibly similar, they were bound to rub each other the wrong way at times because the way they execute things and conduct themselves is so fundamentally different.

It's really not surprising to me that Kazui answered, "Is there a prisoner he's not fond of?" with Kashiki, Yuno. Even though they are the most similar, they are also the antithesis of each other when it comes to implementation.

Yuno believes that, above all, it's more important to be honest to herself. Regardless of if that hurts her or those around her. She won't be bothered to deal with things she doesn't want to or smile for others when she doesn't feel like smiling.

A mindset that she has in a way pushed on others within Milgram including Kazui himself.

20/08/02

Mahiru: Yeah, I’m asking for what you like in the opposite sex! I mean, with a lifestyle like this we have a lot of free time, right? So earlier when I was talking with all the other girls we got onto the topic! It’s not often you get a chance like this to live with a mix of men and women together, so I thought it might be nice to use the chance to talk about stuff like this in preparation for when we leave.

Kazui: Ah…… Haha, I understand. I can see that’d be the sort of thing girls your age would be interested in, huh. How peaceful. What I like in the opposite sex… I don’t know if what I say will really be a good reference for you…… Ah, you know, since I’m at this age. I like a girl who can just smile free of worries. Seeing that’d make my old, tired heart feel young again.

Yuno: Uh-huh, I see, I see. ……that’s a total lie, right?

Kazui: Haha…… Give me a break here. You sure don’t make things easy for people, Kashiki-chan.

Because Yuno can't understand why someone else would bother with lying or putting on airs for the comfort of others or even themselves. She'd rather things be out in the open for what they are instead of needing to label them as good or bad.

This is something she tries to enforce with others she's interested in or views slightly favorably as well regardless of whether she recognizes she's doing it or not.

20/07/08

Yuno: Hey, Mikoto-san. Don’t you get tired being so conscious of others all the time? I mean, you’re free to do what you want, though.

Mikoto: Eh…… Aha, what are you talking about?I’m not being conscious or anything. It’s normal to make sure to get along with everyone, right? I mean, when you put it like that, aren’t you the same, Yun-chan? You’re always smiling and getting on with everyone, too.

Yuno: I don’t smile unless I actually want to. But with you, when you’re talking with other people it’s more like you only smile deliberately. So I kept thinking, don’t your cheeks get tired? Ah, is this just what happens when you become a working adult? ……you see people like that sometimes.

Mikoto: Haha, you don’t mince your words do you. …….that was never my intention, but now that you mention it, yeah, I guess I do. This might’ve been since I started my job too…… But like, if I was rude to everyone I met, all my efforts would come to nothing, right?

Her thought process probably being this person is alright, but they'd be better if they stopped concerning themselves with the thoughts of others or even their own and just did what they wanted to do. Because through not regarding anyone's feelings even hers Yuno has been able to free herself from needing to interrogate whether her actions are good or bad and instead just look at them as things she did that cannot be changed.

This is why she's so quick to draw to attention that Kazui lies to protect himself, but she does it for nothing. Because no one is important to her, not even herself. By removing herself and others from that discussion, she doesn't have to face the thought that these things did matter to her and influence her choices.

Because taking those things into consideration would ultimately ammount to labeling her choices or the outcome of them as good or bad. Something that could lead to regrets. Which,

Q.17 Do you have anything you regret?

Yuno: Regretting things achieves nothing, don’t you think?

If Kazui said the truth is what killed someone, Yuno's very existence embodies that idea. Along with her constant subtle pushing for individuals whom she probably likes to be more honest with themselves. Yuno to Kazui is a daily reminder of the harm being too honest can cause.

It's Yuno because even though I doubt she's being this way with any ill intent, she can be too forward and pushy when it comes to others living in an honest way. Because she believes that being honest and true to herself is what's most important regardless of her or anyone else's feelings/safety.

Just like her namesake implies,

Q.04 What’s the origin of your name?

Yuno: It means to be kind and true to myself.

[TN: Literal meaning of the kanji 優 (yu) and 乃 (no) respectively which make up her name.]

Kazui is shown to dislike this approach of doing things within his second trial voice drama. He also calls Yuno out for being uncaring and self-absorbed during her birthday. Asking why she's helping Shidou care for Mahiru despite her seeming generally disinterested in the well-being and safety of those around her. He's very forward about it or as forward as he can be. He recognizes that Yuno is cold and inconsiderate towards everyone in the pursuit of living in a way true to herself.

So, even though they are the most similar, they are also the most different. Just like in regards to Futa and Kotoko.

To put it very simply, Kazui is the type that claims he was lying to protect others, Yuno is the type who'd say, "I was just being honest" in the face of those she's hurt. Making them both very similar but incredibly likely to rub each other the wrong way at times.

#milgram #kazui mukuhara #yuno kashiki

[waitimcomingtoo]

As It Was

pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Synopsis: you have a personal rule against dating co-stars that causes tension in your friendship with Tom (ft. Harry styles)

Masterlist

“You two obviously have an incredibly chemistry onscreen, so I have to ask. Has that chemistry led to anything offscreen?”

You sucked in a sharp breath but kept your smile as you looked over at Tom. He looked at you too, biting back a smile from knowing how much you hated that question.

“You know, you’re the first person to ever ask us that question.” You said through a forced smile.

“Am I?“ The journalist asked you.

“She’s being sarcastic.” Tom chuckled. “That’s just about the only question we get asked. That and “what kind of underwear do you wear under the suit.”

“You do get that a lot.” You laughed, hoping to change the subject.

“Well that’s what the people want to know.” The journalist said. “So is there anything going on between the two of you that we should know about? Any secret romance?”

“Oh my God.” You mumbled a little louder than you meant to. Tom felt his cheeks heat up but kept quiet.

“I’ll take that as a no?” The journalist chuckled.

“I’m sorry. I really don’t mean to be rude. I’m just tired of being asked that question over and over. Why does everyone think I’m dating my costar?” You laughed and tried not to sound as annoyed as you felt.

“Oh no.” Tom chuckled. “Here we go again.”

“It’s just annoying. I feel like the Zac Efron rumors stopped two days ago and now this?” You sighed and gestured between you and Tom.

“You are Zac did seem pretty close during your press tour.” The journalist said, making jealousy rise up in Tom’s chest. You had assured him multiple times that you and Zac were never anything more than friends, but he had spent too many sleepless nights watching compilations of Zac flirting with you in interviews to not be bothered by that statement.

“Because we’re good friends and we were promoting a movie together.” You shrugged. “That doesn’t mean we were together.”

“So you never dated Zac?” The journal asked you as Tom’s jaw tightened.

“Nope.” You shook your head. “Not even a little.”

“And you’re not dating Tom?” The journalist asked, making you let out another little sigh.

“Nope.” Tom answered for you. “Not even a little.”

“I don’t date co-stars. Ever. It’s my only rule.” You said simply, making Tom’s heart sink a little.

“Why not?” The journalist wondered.

“I just don’t believe in mixing my work and my personal life like that. It gets too messy. I set that boundary when I first started acting and I’ve always stuck to it.”

“So you’d never date a co-star?”

“Never.” You shrugged. Tom looked down at his lap so the cameras wouldn’t catch the disappointment on his face. He knew you felt that way, but it hurt to hear you say it.

“What about you, Tom? Would you?” The journalist asked.

“If I loved her, I would.” Tom said with a sad smile. You looked over at him and felt guilt rise in your chest.

“Well that’s different. I could ignore a crush on a co-star for the sake of keeping things professional. But love is love. You can’t ignore love.” You said as you looked over at Tom.

“Yeah. I agree.” Tom said as he gave you a soft smile. You held eye contact for a minute before looking away.

After a long day of press junkets, you and Tom went back to his hotel room together. You kicked off you high heels and flopped onto Tom’s bed while he changed into his pajamas.

“That interview from today was posted and people are already over analyzing they way we look at each other.” You sighed as Tom sat beside you on the bed.

“I saw that. How many times can people post a picture of us with the caption “get you someone who looks at you the way Tom Holland looks at Y/n L/n” before they get tired of it?”

“Or “the way he looks at her”.” You said added and made heart eyes at Tom.

“I want what they have.” Tom sighed dramatically and put his hand over his heart. You both laughed and laid down beside each other on his bed.

“I just don’t understand the logic. Surely the journalists know that every interviewer before them has asked us if we were dating. Why do they all think they’re gonna be the ones to finally get us to admit it?” You asked as you looked over at him.

“You’re really bothered by this, huh?” Tom asked, hoping his tone didn’t reveal how disappointed he felt.

“I don’t know. It’s just so annoying.” You sighed. “I want people to know me for my work, not for my supposed boyfriend. I’m not Harry Styles ex. I’m not Tom Holland’s “rumored girl”. I’m me. If that’s not interesting enough, then don’t talk to me.”

“Everybody gets asks about their love life. It’s part of the job.”

“I know. But you don’t get asked who you’re dating nearly as much as I do. I feel like no cares about the work I put into my characters. They only care about if I’m dating my costar. Why do I even bother being in this business if I will never be seen for my talent? All I’ll ever be is a love interest. And that’s really frustrating.” You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Tom stayed silent as he listened to you let your feelings out. He reached over and put his hand on top of yours to let you know he was there for you. You smiled softly and put your free hand over his.

“I’m sorry for ranting. I just never want to be reduced to someone’s girlfriend. That would never happen to you or any other guy. Nobody refers to you as “Y/n’s boyfriend” or “Y/n’s new man”. It’s not fair.”

“Excuse you. I refer to myself as that all the time.” Tom scoffed.

“You know what I mean.” You laughed. “It’s such a double standard. You get to shine on your own but I always have to be tied to some guy to be relevant. They call you Tom, star of the Marvel franchise and call me Y/n, his rumored girlfriend in the same sentence. It’s all such bullshit.”

“It is bullshit.” Tom agreed. “Next time you get asked if you’re dating me, you should just punch the interviewer right in the face.”

“Tom.” You laughed and playfully swatted his arm.

“I’m serious.” He insisted. “That’ll send a message to all other journalists that you’re not to be messed with.”

“Yeah. Maybe I should.” You chuckled and looked up at the ceiling again. Tom looked at you for a minute before propping himself up on his elbow. He cupped your chin and moved your face to look at him.

“Hey.” He said softly. “I see the way you shine. I see your talent. And I see how hard you work. You’ve never been just a love interest to me.”

“Thanks.” You returned the smile. Tom gulped a little and started to lean in as your eyes fluttered shut. Before your lips could touch, someone knocked at the door. You quickly sat up as Tom moved away from you.

“Are you guys ready for dinner?” Jacob called through the door. You and Tom slowly made eye contact and exchanged flustered smiles.

“We should…” You trailed off and nodded towards the door.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Tom faked a smile and got off the bed. You left the hotel and avoided eye contact all the way to the restaurant. Tom tried to push the almost kiss from his mind as the cast sat down to dinner. He kept trying to make eye contact with you from across the table. You were still rattled from almost breaking your rule that you couldn’t look at Tom. You all went out to a bar afterwards for drinks and once you had some alcohol into you, you were ready to talk to him again.

“Does this eyebrow ever go down?” You asked as you smoothed Tom’s eyebrow down with your thumb.

“Don’t make fun of it.” Tom drunkenly whined. “This is a bully free zone. And you know I can’t fix it.”

“This is not a bully free zone.” You laughed and wrapped an arm around his neck. “And I didn’t say I wanted you to fix it. I love it. It’s my third favorite thing about your face.”

“Third?” Tom chuckled as he wrapped his arms around your waist to hold you closer.

“After your crooked nose and eyes, duh.” You playfully rolled your eyes. Your gaze slowly drifted past Tom and your smile fell.

“Oh shit.”

“What?” Tom wondered and turned his head to look in the direction you were looking in.

“My ex is here.” You whispered harshly and pointed to a man.

“Your ex is….” Tom trailed off when his eyes landed on Harry Styles.

“Wait, your ex boyfriend is Harry Styles?” Tom asked. “Harry fucking Styles?”

“Yeah. You knew that. We’ve talked about this multiple times.”

“I thought you were kidding!” Tom exclaimed. “This whole time, I thought that was a joke.”

“It wasn’t a joke. Who do you think his last album was about?” You snorted and let go of Tom as you started to walk away.

“You’re going over there?” Tom asked as he gently caught your wrist.

“Well I gotta say hi.” You insisted. “We ended things on good terms.”

“Can I come with you?” Tom asked as he nervously looked between you and Harry.

“Why? Jealous?” You teased.

“Extremely. That’s Harry fucking Styles!” Tom exclaimed, making you laugh.

“I know it is. And since I used to be fucking Harry Styles, I gotta go say hi.” You said as you pulled Tom over to Harry. Tom stood back and watched nervously as you squeezed Harry’s arm.

“Hey.” You smiled warmly.

“Oh hello, love. Long time no see.” Harry grinned and pulled you into a hug that lasted way too long for Tom’s liking.

“I know. Your hair was down to your shoulders last time I saw you.” You said as you reached up to touch his hair. Tom was too drunk to handle the situation reasonably and started to sweat.

“Yeah. It was time for a change.” Harry replied as his eyes drifted over to Tom. Tom cleared his throat and put his hand on your back as he held out a hand.

“Hi. I’m Tom.”

“Nice to meet you, mate.” Harry said as he shook Tom’s hand.

“Nice to meet you too. You two have a new movie coming out soon, right?” Harry asked as he took a sip of his drink.

“Yeah. We’re on the press tour now.” Tom said as he put an arm around you.

“I see. Maybe our characters will share a screen one day.” Harry said as he took notice of the way Tom was holding you.

“Oh yeah. I forgot Harry fucking Styles is in the Marvel universe.” Tom said, mostly to himself.

“What was that, mate?” Harry asked.

“Nothing.” Tom said quickly.

“Right. I actually saw you when you first walked in but I didn’t want to interrupt anything. Are you two here on a date?” Harry asked in a casual tone. Both of your faces fell as you thought back to the near kiss in the hotel earlier.

“Don’t answer that.” Harry chuckled. “Your faces told me plenty.”

“Well we should probably get back to our table. It was good to see you.” You said as you squeezed Harry’s hand.

“It was good to see you too, love. Take care.” Harry said and leaned in to kiss your cheek. Tom watched with a clenched jaw but kept his mouth shut.

“Bye Tom.” Harry winked.

“Bye Harry fucking Styles.” Tom mumbled.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.” Harry said and leaned in to hear Tom better.

“I just said bye.” Tom faked a smile before leading you away.

Once you left the bar, Tom went back with you to your hotel room to make sure you got in okay. He sat on your bed while you took your makeup off in the bathroom. You came out a few minutes later with a clean face and dressed in the hotel bath robe. Tom felt his heart speed up at the sight of you and gulped.

“Can I ask you something?” He said before he lost his nerve.

“Yeah. Anything.” You said as you set out your outfit for the next day.

“How did you two end up together?” Tom asked. “You and Harry?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “We were young and kept running into each other at different red carpets and events. He asked me out at one of them and I said yes.”

“Wow.” Tom chuckled dryly. “Was that before or after you made your no dating co-stars rule?”

“After.”

“Hm.” Tom said shortly as he chewed on the inside of his cheeks.

“What?” You wondered. “What are you not saying?”

“Nothing. I just think your rule is dumb.” Tom said without looking at you. You stopped touching your clothes and kept your back to Tom.

“It’s not dumb.” You said quietly. “I have the rule for a reason. Relationships are tricky and they’re even harder in the public eye. Somebody always gets hurts. And I’d rather avoid the awkwardness of having to play lovers onscreen with someone I used to date.”

“Is that why you didn’t date Zac?”

“I didn’t date Zac before I didn’t want to date Zac.” You chuckled softly. Tom gulped a little before getting to what he really wanted to ask you.

“Is that why you won’t date me?” He asked quietly. You slowly turned around but kept your eyes on the ground.

“We shouldn’t have this conversation.”

“I need to have this conversation.” Tom said as he got off your bed. He walked over to you and cupped your face so that you would look at him. He opened his mouth to speak and you quickly put your fingertips over his lips.

“Please don’t say it.” You whispered. “Don’t say what you want to say. It’s just gonna complicate things.”

“I want to complicate things. I want you.”

“It’s just gonna mess things up. Wouldn’t you rather be friends forever than boyfriend and girlfriend for a little while?”

“Who says we’ll only last a little while?” Tom asked as he played with the belt of your robe.

“Nothing lasts forever, Tom. You know that. We work really well as friends. I don’t want to mess that up.”

“You don’t want to even try?” Tom asked sadly.

“Of course I want to try. I just don’t want to fail.” You said as you looked into his eyes.

“Maybe we won’t fail.” He smiled weakly. You let out a sigh and took his hand in yours.

“I just don’t want to end up hating each other.” You said as you looked at your intertwined hands.

“I could never hate you.” Tom insisted. You looked up at him and gave him a sad smile.

“I could never hate you either.”

“So love me instead.” He said as he took a step closer to you. Your nose scrunched up and you let out a short laugh.

“That was pretty cliche.” You told him.

“But it’s working, isn’t it?” Tom asked as he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours with every word.

“Maybe.” You gulped as you eyes stayed on his lips. Before your lips could touch, you pulled your head back and covered your lips with your hands.

“Nope. I’m not gonna kiss you. I would never kiss you.”

“You wouldn’t?” Tom asked coyly.

“Nope. I don’t even want to.”

“You don’t?” Tom asked as he leaned in even closer.

“No.” You lied. “Because I don’t feel anything for you. I can’t. I don’t date my costars. It’s my one rule.”

“Can’t you break it? Just this once?” Tom dropped his playful tone and genuinely pleaded with you. You almost gave in, but you just couldn’t do it.

“I can’t. I’m sorry. I just can’t.” You said apologetically. Tom withdrew from you as his eyes fell to the floor.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then, darling.” He said as he gave you a sad smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said quietly, beginning to rethink your decision. Tom left without another word and went back to his hotel room. He immediately got out his laptop and googled Harry’s name.

“What makes you so special?” Tom mumbled as he scrolled through some articles on Harry. He came upon a headline that made his heart stop.

“Ed Sheeran reveals Harry Styles has a huge penis.” Tom read off his screen. He slammed his laptop shut and let out an angry sigh.

“Harry fucking Styles.” He muttered.

The next day, you and Tom sat beside each other at a press junket. There was an icy tension that neither of you addressed out loud. You both silently agreed not to talk about the day before for the sake of the press tour.

“I’m sitting here with Tom Holland and Y/n L/n, stars of the latest installment in the Marvel franchise. I have to ask you, is it weird to play a couple on screen when you’re such good friends?” The journalist. You and Tom blinked a few times in surprise, neither of you wanting to be the first to answer that question. You exchanged a quick look before turning back to the journalist.

“I think it was a little awkward first but it comes pretty naturally to us now.” You answered and hoped that would be sufficient.

“And that never carried over to real life? You know, since it comes so naturally to you?”

You gulped at the question and tried to keep a neutral face when you felt like screaming on the inside. It was the worst possible question at the worst possible timing.

“I think it comes more naturally to some of us than others.” Tom cut it, making you side eye him.

“Well I think just because something comes naturally to you that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to act on it.” You shrugged. “I’m weirdly good at baseball. Doesn’t mean I have any interest in joining the MLB.”

“Maybe not.” Tom agreed. “But then again, if something comes naturally to you and you want to act on it, why stop yourself?”

“Because some of us have rules against acting on it.” You said through a clenched smile.

“Well some of us think that rule is stupid.” Tom shrugged, making you glare at him. He stared back briefly before returning his attention to the journalist.

“So what can we expect next from your characters?” She asked, hoping to get rid of some of the awkward tension that had erupted.

“I’d like to see my character happy.” Tom replied. “And surrounded by people who make him happy.”

“Me too.” You agreed.

“Then maybe your character should stop pushing the people who are any to make her happy away.” Tom said as he smiled sweetly at you.

“My character doesn’t push them away.” You returned the smile. “She just knows how to set boundaries where she needs them.”

“Does your character set boundaries or does she put up walls out of fear and call them by a different name?” Tom asked as he tapped his chin.

“My character isn’t scared. She just doesn’t want to ruin something that’s important to her with your character.” You replied, never dropping your forced smile.

“Well my character doesn’t think anything would be ruined. He thinks that crossing that boundary would only improve the relationship between us - I mean, our characters.”

“Well my character doesn’t want to take that chance.”

“So have you guys done any sight seeing while you’re in town?” The journalist asked with a nervous laugh. You and Tom exchanged an angry look and silently agreed to drop the argument until later.

After a long day of press, you finally were able to go back to your hotel. The elevator ride to your room was silent but as soon as the door was closed behind you, Tom spoke up.

“We need to talk.“

“Please. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. It’s already gotten so out of hand. I told you how I feel and it’s not going to change. Can we please just drop it?” You asked as you sat down on your bed.

“I can’t drop it. Why are you fighting this?”

“Why do you care so much? Why can’t you just let me go?”

“Because I won’t accept us not being together. If you didn’t feel the same, then things would be different. But I know you feel what I feel and I think it’s ridiculous that we don’t do something about it.” Tom said as he stood in front of you. You looked up at him and could see how miserable this was making him.

“I have a rule.” You said quietly.

“It’s a stupid rule!” He exclaimed.

“I know it’s a stupid rule!” You shouted as you stood up.

“So why do you follow it? Why do you torture yourself?”

“Because I’d never forgive myself for fucking up our friendship when things go wrong. Which they will. They always do.” You stated, making you both fall silent. The only sound in the room was your heavy breathing as a hot tear sipped down your face.

“I’d never forgive myself if I broke your heart.” You said quietly as you sat back down on the bed in defeat. Tom stayed silent as he wiped his face with his sleeves.

“Can we please just forget this whole thing and go back to being friends?” You pleaded as you looked up at him. “Can’t we just go back to the way things were?”

“I can’t go back.” Tom said lowly. “I can’t be your friend. You said it yourself. You can’t ignore love.”

“You don’t love me.” You laughed dryly and shook your head.

“Don’t I?” He asked, slight anger in his voice.

“You may think you do but you’re wrong. You’re just excited by the fantasy of it all. Our relationship is forbidden for reasons out of your control so you push harder for us to happen. But trust me. If you actually had me, you wouldn’t want me. The excitement would melt away in an instant.”

“Darling, I think you’re an incredibly intelligent girl but you could not be more wrong. I do love you. I love you exactly as you are. I don’t understand why you can’t get out of your own way and let me.”

You opened your mouth to say something but no words came out. You slowly shut it and gave Tom an defeated shrug. He nodded his head and looked at the ground, seeming like the had finally accepted your answer.

“I should go. I won’t fight you any more on this. I can’t make you love me if you don’t want to.” He said without meeting your eyes.

“It’s not that I don’t want to-“

“I know. You just won’t.” He looked at you with a sad smile.

“Tom.” You got off the bed and grabbed his arm before he could leave. He stopped going for the door and looked at you with sad eyes before kissing your cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, darling. Good night.” He gave you one last smile before leaving you alone in your room. You looked up at the ceiling as tears slid down face. You looked over at the wall with watery eyes, knowing Tom was in the next room feeling just as bad as you were. You didn’t know if your relationship could recover from this and that made you feel even worse.

The next day, you didn’t have any press to do before the premier. You spent the day getting your hair and makeup done, a process you normally loved but couldn’t enjoy because of the heavy weight on your chest. You hoped to see Tom before leaving for the premier but he was doing an expert job of avoiding you.

“Do you know if Tom left yet?” You asked as you got into your limo.

“He did. He’s at the premier already.” Your manager told you. You let out a little sigh and looked out the window as you pulled away from your hotel.

At the premier, Tom’s head was on swivel as he impatiently waited for you to arrive. He wanted to talk to you before he left but his team had kept him busy with preparations for the red carpet. In the middle of giving an interview, Tom heard the crowd suddenly grow louder.

“I’m so sorry to cut you off. I think that’s the sound of Y/n arriving.” Tom said as he looked behind him to try and spot you.

“I think so too. Let’s see if we can get a look at her.” The journalist said as looked in your direction. Tom saw you getting out of your limo and you made eye contact with each other. You smiled softly and gave him a wave, which he returned. You were led inside by your team and the moment was gone.

“She went inside. Hopefully we’ll catch her later.” The journalist said.

“Yeah.” Tom sighed. “Hopefully.”

After giving a few interviews, you stood on the red carpet with the rest of the cast as a million cameras flashed. Tom was in the middle of the cast and you were at the end, a safe distance between the two of you. You thought it would stay that way until you heard,

“Let’s get some of just Tom and Y/n!”

You gulped as the rest of the cast dispersed, leaving you and Tom alone. He gave you a soft smile as he slipped an arm around your waist.

“Hi.” He said as the cameras flashed.

“Hi.” You said back.

“You look beautiful.” He told you, letting his eyes linger on you for a long time.

“Thank you.” You smiled shyly. “So do you.”

The cameras continued to flash and you found it harder and harder to keep your smile when you felt so sad inside.

“Tom, I feel really bad about the way we left things last night.” You said quietly so only he could hear.

“We can talk about it later, okay? Let’s just enjoy the night.” He smiled softly at you and gave your hip a squeeze. He turned back to look at the cameras and you realized how many people were calling your name. You faced the cameras as well and smiled for the cameras, hoping it was enough to mask the sadness you felt inside. You found it hard to be at a party when you felt like an open wound.

“Beautiful couple! You look great together.” One of the photographers shouted, inadvertently rubbing salt into the wound. When it was time to move down the carpet, Tom let go of you.

“I’ll see you after, okay?” He told you before walking away. You threw on a fake smile and posed for more pictures, looking over at him every chance you got. Once you got back inside the building, you saw Tom leaning against a wall by a coat closet. You knew it was a rare moment when you’d be alone, so you quickly went up to him.

“Hey.” You smiled weakly. “What are you doing over here?”

“Waiting for you, actually.” He replied, making the weight on your chest lift just a little. Before you could respond, the director of the movie came up to the two of you.

“Congratulations you two. Here’s to the last night of the press tour.” He said as he smiled at the both of you. When he walked away, something dawned on you.

“Its the last night of the press tour.” You said, mostly to yourself.

“Yeah. We’re all done after this. You won’t have to get asked about your love life anymore.” Tom said with a tight smile. You figured he wasn’t completely over the fight but you were surprised he wasn’t getting what you were saying.

“It’s the last night of the press tour.” You repeated.

“Yeah, darling. I know.” He said as he gave you a strange look. You groaned a little before grabbing Tom by the shoulders.

“Tom. It’s the last night of the press tour.”

“So?” He wondered.

“So we’re not co-stars anymore.” You said with a coy smile. You watched Tom’s face go from confused to realizing what you were trying to say.

“Does your rule say anything about dating former co-stars?” He asked as a smile tugged at his lips.

“It does not.” You said with an even bigger smile than his. You looked around before pushing him into the coat closet behind you. As soon as the door was shut, Tom was kissing you. He pressed you against the closet door and cupped your face as he kissed you like his life depended on it. You’d kissed him a million times for the movies, but it was never like this. When you pulled away, Tom smiled like a child as he rested his forehead against yours.

“I don’t want to go back out there. I just want to stay in here with you.” He said with a happy sigh.

“I know. But we gotta get out of here before someone notices we’re both missing.”

“You’re right. But this isn’t over.” Tom playfully warned you before kissing you again.

“Okay. You first. I’ll leave in a few seconds.” You told him. Tom nodded before leaving the closet. You counted to ten in your head before leaving the closet as well. As soon as you left, you saw Tom talking to the director with a scared look on his face. You went up to the two of them and put your hand on Tom’s back.

“Hey, Tom. I feel like I haven’t seen you all night.” You lied. “What are you guys talking about?”

“He was just telling me the good news.” Tom said with a smile that you could tell was forced.

“Good news?” You asked the director.

“Yep. We’re officially got the green light for the next movie. You two are gonna be filming together again in just a few months!” The director told you, and you immediately understood why Tom was upset.

“That’s great!” You threw on your own fake smile until the director walked away. Once you were alone again, you grabbed Tom’s arm and yanked him back into the closet.

“So we’re gonna be co-stars again.” Tom said as he nervously looked at the ground.

“Yeah. We are.” You said as you tried to meet his eyes.

“What, um, what about your rule?” Tom asked hesitatingly as he looked you in the eyes. You could see the fear in his eyes and cupped his face in your hands.

“Hey. Fuck the rules.”

“Really?” He asked hopefully.

“Yeah. You can’t ignore love.”

“No. You can’t. Does that mean you love me?” Tom asked as a smile tugged at his lips.

“You’re alright.” You shrugged, making his smile grow.

“If that’s your way of saying yes, then I love you too, darling.” He told you. “I always have. No matter what the rules say.”

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland angst

[xentari94]

I don’t usually read much from Screen Rant but- that whole article on how Tech could very well be 100% alive as cx2 just boosted my fucking morale so much. Like- I know it’s stuff that’s already been gone over but still… no matter how many times I’ve heard it, hearing it again is what keeps me hopeful.

Tech, sweetheart, come back beautiful we need you 😭🧡🙏🏻

I know it’s gonna hurt like hell to see him so lost, and I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to get back to where he was pre fall, but I have faith he’ll be okay.

I honestly think now that this is what they meant when there had to be a consequence from going against Tarkin. It had nothing to do with Tarkin, and sacrifice doesn’t always have to signify death. Tech’s alive, but the possibility is high that he’s lost a part of himself. Along with this marking the end of his days as a soldier, the only thing he’s ever really known.

This isn’t a happily ever after. Happily ever after would be Tech recovers fully and as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t see that happening. I want it to happen, but realistically… I mean the show could take it either way. But this could be what is supposed to be the bitter-sweet ending. Everyone lives, but each has been individually changed, and not all positively as such in Tech’s case.

And that is why I too feel like it will be partly Omega who finds a way to help him because of what Tech once told her. It will be far from easy, and he’ll need all his family, but as a whole they find a way to adapt like they always have.

I don’t think they will return to Pabu, not because they wouldn’t be welcomed back, I believe even Tech would be even after what’s happened if Shep were ever to find out it was him as cx2. I don’t think Shep would blame him for something that Tech did not want.

They wouldn’t want to put Pabu on the radar again. So that steady life Hunter wants for Omega might not be reachable with who they are, always having to remain on the run, but that’s okay. As long as they have each other, Phee as well because I see them all grouping after this, then the future isn’t bleak. There’s promise. Hope.

#the bad batch #tbb #tbb tech #tech lives #tbb cx 2 #my hopes are eternal #I do not know the meaning of the words ‘giving up’ #tech is alive #I feel it 🧡🧡 #and I’m standing on the no one’s going to die hill #they’ve all been affected in some way none of them got away unscathed they don’t have to die to prove a plot point

[yueisyum]

Don’t Think About It. (Part three)

Genre♥️college au/vacation au, enemies(not really) to fwb to lovers

Parings☎️haechan/donghuck x conflicted reader

Warnings🚨mentions of / alcohol consumption, and Use of nicknames, angsty!!!! Arguing? Sadness? Angst!!! Talking about love and the fear of love! (Philophobia)

Notes📌 This the part three, obviously. There is no smut, but there will be in part four. Yes, there will be a part four. This one is quite short, but that’s because I didn’t want to switch back to the college au in the middle of the same fic. So stay tuned for part four. And please don’t be shy, share your thoughts!

Ever since you were a kid, you made rules for yourself. Adding them as you grew older. And changing them as you experienced. Everyone has rules, wether they realize it or not.

Your rules were basic and simple. Crafted to perfection. And there were also some you didn’t even realize existed:

1. Boys have cooties(except for Johnny) << especially johnny

2. No falling behind <<< (school)

3. Date to marry experience <<< (boys)

4. Don’t be venerable <<< (liars)

5. Privacy is power

6. Stop being so understanding

7. Don’t allow others to love you (no “I love you”’s)

8. Don’t fall on love too quickly

Rule seven had a couple different reasons. Reasons that we don’t need to get into right now. But everyone who has ever “loved” you, didn’t seem to love you enough to stay; ripping pieces each time one of them left. So, you refuse to allow others to feel for you. Not truly. Always subconsciously inviting people into your life, people you know couldn’t hurt you.

But naturally, rules are meant to be broken.

Falling behind in school around the holidays.

Trusting too easily.

Being too understanding/to forgiving.

And allowing others to say those words to you. “I love you”. And you would continuously, stupidly believe them. nothing had changed. Your were always the stupid one, the girl who never understood who she was to people.

But you had rules, rules you tried your best to follow… until haechan.

•••

Muffled Music blared your ears, drawing you from your sleep. It was still dark out, but Haechan was still next to you. You were tired, but relived to feel his presence.

“What time is it?” you ask, Not bothering to check if he was awake.

“Don’t know” he responded, his voice far from tried or drowsy. You drew back to look at him, his body facing you. Haechans eyes find yours as soon as they come into view.

“Have you been awake?” You ask, your brows pinch together, He tried to act as if he had also just woken up. “Huh? No?”

You slightly sit up on the bed. “You totally were- you were watching me sleep!” You announce with a grin on your face.

“No, that would be creepy, and boring. On the other hand, watching you shower-“ you punch him and settle back down into the bed with a soft laugh. He winces but joins you in your laughter nonetheless.

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” heachan began, turning over to sit up straight. “…And believe me, I am” looking down at you with a stupid smirk. He continued “I’m afraid you have to go”

You paused for a moment.

Oh

Oh

Was all of this really just sex? You can’t believe that you let your mind slip- to forget that this isn’t real, for this long at that.

It’s just two friends helping each other out.

You reminded yourself.

Haechan pouted when he saw the look on your face, afraid you got the wrong idea. “Jenos been blowing up your phone. He’s wondering why you’re not joining the party, or why he can’t find you” He informs, hoping to ease the thoughts he knows have filled your mind. Your phone was in his hands, and you grabbed it. Looking through the notifications, you curse yourself- or Jeno actually.

Oh- Damn you jeno! What could he possibly need right now?

You sigh dramatically into your palms.

“I know” he said, his smile growing wider. “I wouldn’t want to leave me either”

You rolled your eyes and scouted from underneath the covers and his side. “Now you’ve ruined it.”

“Just as I intended” he chuckled, leaning back against the headboard, watching you make your way to the door.

It physically pained you to leave him. But you won’t acknowledge it more then that.

“Y/n?”

“Hyuck?”

“You can keep my shirt, it looks sexier on you”

“Ass” You replied, and grin plastered on your face, against your will. Then you opened the door and left with your phone in hand, making your way down the hallway.

The music slowly picking up in volume as you made your way into the kitchen/living room area. Though you saw almost no one. Until you peaked out the sliding doors to the backyard. Finally finding the sources of the music, along with at least 20 other people. Some people in the pool, some people grilling or just playing games. You smiled to yourself, you can feel that everyone was having a good time.

You decide you should change before joining them. As you make your way to your own room.

You think for a moment, you should probably check your phone.

JenO

______________________________________

|| JenO -

Hey, we are back from the store

Delivered

-

Where you at?

Delivered

-

y/n?

Delivered

-

Chaewon said she saw you with haechan, are you two talking?

Delivered

-

y/n it’s been 2 hours, are you ok?

Delivered

______________________________________

Damn it.

You enter your room, beginning to type all kinds of apologizes into your phone, when you look up to see Jeno sitting in your bed. “Jeno?”

He looks up from his phone to see you standing in the doorway… in heachans shirt…

“Looks like you two did more then just talk huh?” He was smiling, but he sounded agitated. And you can’t blame him.

“Sorry, I feel asleep”

“In his room?”

“Yeah…? Is that bad?” You finally enter the room to join him on your bed. He clears his throat while making room for you to sit next to him. “No, I mean- I don’t know” He answers, not looking at you. “I talked to Shihyun” he informs. You whip your head to look at him. His eyes still don’t meet yours. “She wants to try again” Jeno’s hands are fidgeting with his phone case. Waiting for your reaction.

“That’s great! Why aren’t you out there with her? I saw her in the pool.”

“Was looking for you”

“Why”

He finally turns to you. “Um, just wanted you to know that… that I’ve moved on”

“What!? From Shihyun? Wha- didn’t you just say-“

“-no not her, I love her” he interrupted quickly correcting your thoughts. You look at him confused. It sorta felt weird to hear him say those words. You didn’t like those words, but for some reason… hearing him share his heart to you about Shihyun made you feel as sense of adoration towards him. “Then what have you moved on from?”

“I-um… just- It doesn’t matter, just felt like I needed to say it out loud to you, it’s been suffocating me… but I’m happy that I found Shihyun, she really makes me really happy”

You can’t help but smile. Who needed kdramas when you have this? “And I also wanted to say that… uh… you mean a lot to me y/n, you are such an amazing friend, so encouraging and un-judgmental. I really appreciate you. Even if I mistook those feelings before.. I understand them now.”

You think for a moment, trying to make sense of his words. “What the heck are you going in about Jeno? Your not making any sense.” You laugh and stand up to begin looking for clothes. “I’m sorry, don’t worry about it. It doesn’t need to make sense to you, I just need to say it.”

“It’s Okay, don’t apologizes, I understand. Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to tell me” you smile while picking out an outfit to join the others in. Jeno watches you concentrate.

“I love you”

it was almost a whisper, you didn’t even hear it. He didn’t want you to. He knows how you feel about those three words. But he needed to say it. Out loud.

He really does love you, but not romantically- like he thought he did. But As a friend. As a person he was never scared to go to for help or advice. He loved you, and he would never leave you.

He smiles thinking about how lucky he is to have a friend like you.

“Okay I’ll go join the others.. meet us out there when your done changing.” He ends his rant with a pat to your head, making his way to the door. You nod and begin to change.

…

When you made you way outside, you find yuta and Yejun laughing at a joke Jisung must have made. Because he looked super proud of himself. His posture straightened, and he is puffing his chest out. Adorable.

Other groups of people, that your sure you’ve seen before, fill up the back patio.

Music and conversations fill your ears as you make your way towards the three. “Hey! Y/n! Nice of you to finally join us!” Yejun greets you with a smile and Jisung runs to hug you. “I feel like it’s been ages!”

“It’s been a couple hours ji” but you reciprocate nonetheless. “Jeno was looking for you” yuta informs with a small head nod. “Yeah I talked to him” you shrug and turn around to face the noise. Towards the People talking, and Shihyun and Chaewon are messing around in the pool. Isn’t it freezing?

“Y/n!”

You turn to your right to see Johnny running over. You try not to laugh when you realize he looks like a typical college jock. His hair is wet? Or maybe sweaty? There’s a drink in his hand and his jog looks ridiculous. Then you compare it to a dog, who’s just got done playing with the hose and you snicker even more. “What’s up?” You give Johnny a half hug and he takes another drink form his cup. Yejun and jisung continue whatever conversation they were having before you showed up. When you look back to Johnny, his face was slightly red and he couldn’t stand straight for the life of him.

He’s definitely drunk.

“Where’s haechan?” He asks, his voice is an octave louder so you can hear him over the music.

You don’t know why the the mention of his name threw you off. You felt odd. “How would I know?” You respond with a shrug. Johnny gives you the most unamused look you’ve ever seen. “Don’t give me that bullshit, you can’t tell me you two weren’t together this whole time” you slap at Johnny’s shoulder and glare at Him. “You talk really loud”

Johnny let’s out a laugh and hands you his drink. “Here hold this, he’s probably in his room, I’ll go get him.” Before you can even respond, Johnny’s running off, towards the sliding doors leading back inside the lodge.

You just stand there and look around once more. Haechan probably wants to sleep, you should’ve told Johnny that, but he’ll find out on his own.

When you spot Jeno and Shihyun in the pool, you can’t help but smile. She’s sitting on top of his shoulders, playing a game of chicken with another couple. Your smile grows when Shihyun wins and yells in victory. Cute!

•••

The rest of the night consisted of you drinking and talking with Chaewon and Yami. Chaewon was going on a rant about how people who ‘don’t like alcohol’ are ‘pussies’ or whatever. You laugh all throughout her tangent because the only person who came to mind was Jaemin. “Y/n, do you want to come with me to get more drinks?” Chaewon asks with a pout, her face was round but so perfectly defined, and her outfit looked absolutely amazing on her. You smile to her direction and nod. She always amazes you, her beauty, her amazing personality, she had no flaws. You admire her. “Where are they?” You ask.

“They are over by- Haechan! over there!!” Chaewon pointed towards the coolers that were stationed next to the grill. Jaemin, haechan and mark were all over there. When you saw him, you couldn’t look away.

You didn’t really think he would be joining the party, but there he was. He was wearing a black t-shirt and loose sweatpants. For a moment you felt hurt. Why wouldn’t he come to you? Does he not want to talk to you? Or spend time with you. Even after you two had sex? Is he avoiding you now? Is it’s awkward?

Then you had to mentally stop yourself:

This cannot be Happening.

You should not care about what he’s doing.

You shouldn’t care about what he’s wearing.

You shouldn’t be upset that he didn’t choose to find you first.

You should not care about Lee Donghyuck…

Then your faces with his eyes in yours. A flash of cold rushed throughout your body. You whip your head back to Chaewon so fast, your vision almost went blurry. Curse the gods, Haechan just caught you looking at him. It took almost all your strength not to drown yourself in the pool in-front of you. “Okay let’s go” Chaewon didn’t seem to notice the small interaction, maybe it’s all in your head. But that moment felt like it lasted forever. She hops up from the small pool chair and held her hand out to you.

“Actually, I don’t think I should get up-“

“-Why?”

Her eyebrows cutely pinch together and her smile drops to a frown. “Yami should go with you, my head really hurts” you squeeze your eyes shut and bring a hand to your head, as if in pain. “What? Girl- let’s gooo” she grabs at your hand and drags you to your feet. “Yami, you too, let’s go” then Chaewon pulls you along as she makes her way around the pool.

As your walking up to the group of boys, you notice Haechan’s eyes following your figure. God this is embarrassing. He has this stupid knowing look on his face, and you almost jumped in the pool. Instead you look at the water and the people in it, refusing to look up, or take any chances of making eye contact with him again. You don’t want things to be awkward, you just want to act normal.

WHY CANT YOU ACT NORMAL!?

“Haechan, where have you been all night?” Chaewon presses as she opens the cooler and grabs some cans of beer. “In my room” he starts, his eyes flicker to you, giving you a smile then back to Chaewon “you look nice” he smiles at her and she beamed in response. “Thank you” her dramatic giggle makes the group laugh in unison.

Woah. At least he smiled at you. He’s definitely trying his hardest to act normal. But you can tell he doesn’t know what to do either. You cough awkwardly, you didn’t mean too. Your trying your hardest to not draw attention to yourself, but that’s all haechan is giving you… attention.

“Are we planning on partying all night it’s almost 4 in the morning” mark begins.

You shouldn’t have been upset that he called Chaewon pretty, or griping at your arms, and holding yourself like this, or burning up this easily. You wished he would’ve said those words to you. The only thoughts that can fill your mind now are him. He isn’t looking at you anymore, his gaze is now fixed on Chaewons and Yami, you sigh in relie, but at the same time, you feel overwhelmed with emotions. Maybe he thought you wanted space? That wouldn’t be a reach, but he’s wrong, if that’s the case.

“We don’t have any other plans! I could go for 12 more hours!” Yami replies, and once again the group laughs.

So wrong.

“I’ll probably head inside soon” heachan informs with a sip of his drink.

“What you just got out here!?” Chaewon complains with a pout. The conversation continued on, and you stopped keeping track of it. Lost in your own mind once again.

Maybe he is satisfied, that’s what he wanted right? You helped him out, and he’s satisfied. But your not, you want more then that. More then sex. And you’re not pushing it down this time, your allowing yourself to feel it, maybe it’s the alcohol? Or the cold that made you feel alone, more then usual.

“Y/n?” You blink to he direction of your name. to Johnny. “Yes?” You drop your arms to the side in order to seem natural, ignoring the air that creeped up your skin, causing goosebumps.

It’s freezing.

“Aren’t you going to go with them?” Mark asks, as he gestures his hand behind you.

“Who?”

“Chaewon and Yami? They left already? …Are you drunk?” He questioned, scanning your face. You glance over at mark and Haechan, then behind you. Chaewon and Yami have made their way halfway around the pool now.

When did that happen?

Haechan eyes you suspiciously, almost asking you ‘what’s wrong?’. You send him a reassuring smile. That didn’t seem as awkward as before, and you felt relieved. “Yeah I think I am, I should probably go lay down” you blink twice more, preparing yourself to walk, and turn on your heal, heading straight for the sliding doors that lead back inside.

Is it bad that you wanted to be alone with him again? Jeno had already talked to you, there’s no longer a reason to be out here. can’t you two go back into his room? In His bed? Is that weird? Would that be weird?

When you make your way back inside, you plop down in the couch and take a couple deep breaths. Did he not think YOU looked nice?! Why didn’t he compliment YOU? I mean of course Chaewon looked perfect but-

Nonononono Nono quit it. Stop!

you feel so unbelievably confused. Every feeling is so unexplainable. Jealous? Annoyed, hurt? Alone? Tired? Drunk? Flustered? It’s all too much!

Just two friends helping each other out.

Just two friends helping each other out.

Just two friends helping each other out.

“Y/n?”

“What?!” You respond frustrated, you didn’t realize how upset you felt until your tone left your mouth. You lift your head to the person in front of you to apologize. Haechan stood there, with a cup in his hand and a surprised look on his face. You hesitate for a moment. Looking away, to spare yourself some dignity.

“Sorry, I was just-“

“-Thinking?”

“Yeah”

“You do that too much” he smiles and sits next to you. When he did, you felt your heart calm, your skin and muscles relax. And your brain stoped running so fast. It felt as if you just took some kind of drug. Intoxicating your senses.

“How much did you drink?” Haechan’s head is facing yours on the couch, you turn to him and realize the distance between you two is non existent. “Two” you mumble, distracted by this familiar position.

“Two? Two what?” Haechan chuckles at your absent mindedness. “Two… somethings, I don’t remember” you shake your head and turn back to look at the blank tv. “Hm interesting. Do you want some water? There’s some in the fridge-“

“- Nono, no water” your head shakes faster at the thought of his presence leaving you. “Okay” he chuckles again. Your lost, you don’t know what to say, or what to do. Your just… lost. You’ve never felt this feeling, it’s foreign. And it terrifies you. Your scared that you have no control over your words or actions anymore.

His body, his heat, his comfort, and safety saturated you. He fed the parts of you that are needy and starved. He grounded you and you wanted more. Then you realized that its Haechan that made you feel less alone.

And as selfish as it was, you hoped you wouldn’t be alone ever again.

“Hey…”

This is all too much…

…To much, all at once…

“…Y/n”

He smells like.. like him. And he’s so warm, almost like he’s been living on the sun for the past couple of months.

Haechan:

Full sun

Makes sense.

“Y/n” he calls once more, this time turning to you, probably checking to see if your are still alive or breathing.

“Yes?” You finally respond and look to him. “Your cutting off my circulation” he smiles and you look down at his arm. Your hands wrap around his bicep, gripping onto him like you’ll fly away if you let go. “Sorry”

When did that happen?

“It’s okay, just relax”

“I’m relaxed” you lighten your grip and rest your head on his shoulder. “Did you catch feelings yet?” He teased with smirk, you laugh lightly, your eyes remaining on the blank tv, as if there’s something playing.

Yes you did.

“You wish”

And yes he does.

“Did you?” You ask looking up at him. His gaze remains on the blank screen.

“Not a chance” he answers with a smile.

“Good” you nod and blink away thoughts that you wish would quit reappearing at the worst times. “Do you regret it?” Haechan asked, this time his voice is almost at a whisper. Haechan is a person who needs a lot of reassurance. And your not very good at that kind of thing… but you’ll try for his sake.

“No” he nods at your response this time, remaining quite as you make yourself comfortable- practically cuddling him.

You then slouch further into the sofa, into him. You can hear his breaths, they’re calm and paced. You try your hardest to match his, almost dying in the process. When you start panting, Haechan begins laughing. And you join him. That was ridiculous.

“Y/n? Do you remember my last birthday?”

“The one when we all went to that terrible restaurant? And Jisung threw up?”

“Yeah, but after that, when we ended up getting take out, at your place?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“When I joined you on your balcony, did you mean what you said?” Oh no. No no no no. Gosh this can’t be happening, everything was going so well.

“What do you mean?” You front, your body stiffens and your eyes shut to prepare for impact.

“The words you said, did you mean them?”

Yes… yes you did. But you can’t tell him that. He can’t know that. “I don’t remember any of that” you shake your head, trying your best to end the conversation.

“You don’t?” You feel his head turn to look down at you. You try your best to act as nonchalant as possible.

“No? Maybe your confused with someone else”

“Impossible”

You bite at your lip and curl your fingers into a fist to ground yourself.

“You told me that you only befriend people you knew couldn’t give you what you needed. Because.. you didn’t want to feel like you’ve lost something- you know if they ever left-”

“I did?” Yes you did…

“Yes. Then I asked if you didn’t think I was capable of giving you what you needed…”

“You did?”

“Yes. And you told me that you never actually choose me…”

“Hm-“

“-what did you mean by that?”

You meant that: heachan was capable of giving you everything you’ve ever wanted or needed, and that terrified you, so you would never have chosen him. He just entered your life, and there was nothing you could do about it but pray he would never leave. But alas, that’s not something y/n would ever admit. So you won’t.

“I’m- I don’t know. I don’t remember that”

“You weren’t drunk… you never explained what you meant and we- we kissed. do you remember-”

Yes.. god yes. You remember it like it happened just now. You remember thinking about how you would never bring it up. About how you would have to learn to forget about it. But of course Haechan won’t allow you to. He did, for a while, you assume he’s probably tired of you acting as if these moments never happened.

“-No, no. No we didn’t” you begin to shake your head again, your body moves to sit up and away from him. Your panicking.

“We did-“ haechan follows you, sitting up to look at you in the eyes. “-no we didn’t, you must have me mixed up with someone else-“

His eyebrows furrow together, you can almost taste the frustration building in his head. “I wouldn’t mix you up with anyone… who else could it have been-“

“Chaewon-“

“No, it was you. I would never kiss Chaewon” he shakes his head this time, his eye close to ensure his seriousness.

“But you called her pretty”

“That doesn’t mean I would ever kiss her-“

“-But you would kiss me?” You challenge, with a scoff. You turn your body to face him in the couch. Both of you are obviously heated and neither of you are willing to be completely honest with yourself a or each other. He doesn’t answer… because yes he would, but are you ready to hear those words… no.

“Exactly-“

“Why are you refusing to accept it?”

“I’m not-“

“You are” his gaze on you becomes more angry then upset or frustrated. You look at him for a moment longer before ripping your eyes away from his piercing ones. “I just don’t remember that” you cross your arms over your chest and try your hardest to look at verything in the empty living room but him.

“No, your choosing not to…forget it, that’s not what’s important Right now. I just want to know what you meant by that… that I’m incapable of-“ he begins, but you refuse to hear him say those words, so you give in… sorta.

“-I didn’t- I just… I don’t know, I wouldn’t have chosen you, if that’s what you’re asking”

“Because?” Haechans eyes flicker between yours, hoping your gaze will answer the questions you’re refusing to.

“Because… just because” you tried to think of a response for a moment, but the only one that came to mind was the one you didn’t want him to hear. When he continues to glare at you, you give in once more. Turning to him and letting out a sigh you explain yourself to the best of your ability: “Because your a good person, and I knew that if you left me… I would lose something”

“Something? What do you mean by something?” His face changes in almost an instant. Like you’ve said before, Haechan is someone who needs a lot of reassurance, and your not very good at explaining your feelings.

“This is stupid” you turn away from him once again, and he absolutely hates it.

“What would you have lost.. if I ever left you?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Why won’t you answer me?”

“It doesn’t matter, I don’t need you using it against me.”

“Against you? What does that mean!?” If you were actually looking at him, you would’ve seen how hurt he looked at those words.

“Just stop”

“Stop what? Being confused? Because that’s kinda your fault” he tries to laugh but he can’t.

“I don’t want to have this conversation anymore”

“Why do you keep treating me like I’m your enemy? I wouldn’t use anything ‘against’ you, or leave you.. ever” he tries to look at you in the eyes, but you refuse.

“Okay”

“Okay? That’s it?” Now he’s mad.

“Stop dragging this on haechan” you drop your hands from around you and glare at him.

“Haechan? Y/n what the hell?” He didn’t mean to yell, but he was upset, angry, sad, offended? All of them! You can’t do this anyMore, your not ready to have this conversation. It all escalated so quickly, you didn’t have time to think properly.

“I’m going to bed” you bring yourself to your feet and grab your phone to leave. You know haechan won’t force you to stay, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try to convince you to.

“Y/n.. y/n wait let’s finish this conversation, please.” He look up at you and watches you walk around the other couch and towards the hallway. Your upset, you know you shouldn’t have let yourself get this heated, and you know you shouldn’t have let that conversation go the way it did.

“I’m drunk and tired is this isn’t the best time to be talking to me”

“That isn’t fair, y/n..”

When you made it to your bedroom you sit on one of the beds, bringing your knees to your chest and stared into space.

You feel like such an idiot.

But it can no longer be avoided, the longer you spend with haechan, the more you realize you can’t live without him.

How could you have let yourself get this far with him!?

You had rules.

But then again, rules are made to be broken.

Taglist:

@nctzennikki09 @mings-cafe @gaeulswrld @chimiwimi @aliceinwhateverland

In all honesty, I’ve done better, however, the Juicy parts are in part four… so🤷‍♀️ yeah! Please let me know if you have any:

Questions

Request

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Taglist requests?

#kpop imagines #nct dream angst #nct imagines #nct 127 x reader #nct dream au #nct 127 imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream x reader #haechan angst #haechan fluff #lee donghyuck #nct haechan smut #haechan imagines #haechan au #haechan x reader #heachan #lee donghyuk x reader #donghyuck au #dtai part three #dtai #nct 127 #nct dream imagines #nct fic #nct fanfic #nct haechan #nct dream haechan #hyuck fluff #nct hyuck #haechan dtai #haechan don’t think about it

[thenovelartist]

Life After Destruction - Chapter 1 - Honkai: Star Rail fanfiction

Took me long enough to get this out. It had like seven rewrites...

Anyway! Here's the romantic DanStelle fic I wanted paired with the "fixing the vidyadhara offspring problem" trope. ;) Enjoy.

Next Chapter>

It was insane how many things had changed in four short years.

For one, Stelle had coerced Dan Heng to marry her. Admittedly, he’d seemed pretty willing to do so, but she knew it was all strategic planning on her part. And by strategic, she meant she tricked him into participating in a wedding custom on a planet they explored. Nevertheless, they had been going strong for almost three years, and Stelle couldn’t be happier.

The second massive change was actually so recent that Stelle could barely wrap her head around it: Nanook had fallen. Somehow. By the power of friendship and the stellaron inside of her. One that had almost killed her.

She was still learning to cope with that near-death experience. Far from her first, but certainly her most terrifying and painful.

However, it had hurt more than just her. The Astral Express crew at large had been extra clingy to her ever since, each in their own way. Everyone who’d heard of the incident was still sending her mountains of get-well gifts, and those she’d formed closer bonds with still frequently checked in on her. 

Then there was Dan Heng, who rarely let her out of his sight. Which was fine by her. Things had been different between them ever since she’d been released from the hospital, so having him there all the time reminded her that he was still her husband and he still cared. 

Today, they were once again attached at the hip, having both been invited to a certain young vidyadhara's house.  

Oh, that was the third thing that Stelle supposed was different: she’d had the pleasure of watching several of her companions grow up. Hook and Clara were already mature for their age, but it was an honor to watch both of them grow into young ladies in their own right. And Bailu, despite being a vidyadhara that aged differently, had done her fair share of growing up as well.

“How are you feeling?” Bailu asked Stelle upon inviting her guests into her home. “I know a doctor has given you an ‘all-clear’, but I won’t believe it for myself unless I look you over.”

“Bailu,” Dan Heng warned, a tired edge to his voice. “She’s had many check-ups by many different people all wanting the same thing.”

“I don’t mind,” Stelle responded. “Bailu’s probably won’t be as invasive, anyway.”

Dan Heng quirked a brow at her. “Only if you are certain.”

She nodded. “Besides, I know you’re plenty concerned about me, too.”

Dan Heng glanced away, confirming what she knew already. After all, she had basically exploded before his eyes, and of course that would have left an impact on her husband, especially considering how deeply attached he was to her. Again, it was moments like this she clung to, trying to remind herself her husband still cared because there were times it felt like he didn’t and—

“Then this way, please!” In an instant, Bailu grabbed Stelle’s hand and began dragging her to a nearby room. 

Successfully saved from her haunting thoughts, Stelle stumbled after Bailu.

Once inside the small examination room, Bailu had Stelle sit down on the cot. “Big Brother Dan Heng already told me everything that happened,” she said, beginning to examine Stelle. “But I’d just like to confirm everything.”

“It’s fine,” Stelle assured. While it was true she was growing tired of being poked and prodded by doctors, there were a few she’d make an exception for. Namely Natasha and Bailu. And that was because they were less “doctoring her” and more “confirming she was okay”. For her friends’ sake, Stelle could cope with their check-ups.

Dan Heng did slip into the room after them at some point. There were times she felt as though he was more concerned with her health than she was, and she could only hope that would fade the more time went on. After all, it wasn't like she didn't know why; she'd been at death's door for a while, which had clearly terrified him. So while she submitted to all these check-ups for her friends' sake, she hoped that Dan Heng would get the message she was fine. Maybe things would go back to normal then. 

Unfortunately, no such luck so far. Maybe Bailu's words would have an effect on him. 

“Seems like you’re okay,” Bailu said, her eyes drifting down to Stelle’s chest. “But I can see scarring on your chest sticking out of your shirt collar. I’m assuming that’s from the stellaron bursting?”

Stelle nodded. “I got stitched up well enough, but my guess is that it’s going to scar really badly.” She then forced a smile. “Though, it’s a small price to pay for the safety of the galaxy, right?”

Bailu didn’t look convinced, her still youthful face scrunched in thought. “Let me do a little research. I’ll find a way to heal the scarring. I promise.”

At that, Stelle’s smile turned real. “Don’t worry over it that much,” she said, ruffling Bailu’s hair.

Bailu’s expression scrunched even further as she gently swatted Stelle’s hand away. “I’m not a child.”

“I still consider you my little sister.”

“Hmmf!”

Stelle chuckled. “I’m sorry, do I owe you a treat as an apology?”

“You owe me a treat as an apology for making me worried that you almost died!” she cried, crossing her arms in front of her like a petulant child. The glassy tears forming in Bailu’s eyes reminded Stelle that she was just one more person who was worried about her.

“It’s okay,” Stelle said, trying to ignore the throbbing in her chest. Though she still didn't know whether it was because she was sad she caused one more person to worry about her or phantom pains from her injury. “I’m fine.”

Bailu rubbed her red-rimmed eyes and dabbed her nose with the back of her sleeve.

Unsure what else to do, Stelle opened her arms.

And Bailu instantly lunged at her.

“I’ll treat you, but only this once,” Bailu said, her voice warbly with tears as she clung tightly to Stelle.

“I’ll happily accept.”

~~~

Three days later, Dan Heng and Stelle had come back to Bailu’s residence at the young vidyadhara’s request. Normally, Dan Heng would be preparing to scold the younger girl for likely staying up too late in her studies, but not this time. Not when it was for Stelle.

Logically, he knew the scar on Stelle’s chest was superficial. Furthermore, he knew it was fresh and therefore would slowly—very slowly—fade with time. But whenever Stelle would bare her chest, all he could see was the sprawling, red-purple spiderweb carved into her skin.

That moment she burst before his eyes would forever haunt him.

But enough of him. He knew that moment would haunt her, too. The way she would study herself in the mirror, fingers running over her scar with a dead look in her eyes, was not anything he ever enjoyed witnessing. So anything that would make that scar heal quicker, fade sooner, was welcomed by him.

And to show his thanks, he and Stelle brought a goodwill offering.

“Hey, you’re here!” Bailu enthusiastically greeted. “Come in, come in! I finished it last night.”

“Thank you, Bailu,” Stelle responded, stepping through the threshold.

Dan Heng followed, closing the door behind him.

“There are healing creams I’ve made for scars before,” Bailu began explaining as she wove through the house to a back room, one laden with the heavy scent of herbs, minerals, and other various substances she used in her medications. “But they don’t work on larger ones all that well. So I had to go back to the books and found an outworlder medication that, when combined with some of our remedies, stimulates the regeneration of cells. It’s one of the stronger topical medications I’ve managed to produce.”

Ignoring the main table in the middle of the room that was littered with medication vials, each one wrapped with a little note, Bailu headed over to a little red table off to the side and grabbed a small jar from there. “Doctors orders: apply a small amount once every day. Only about as much that will fit on your finger.”

“Yes, Dragon Lady,” Stelle said, taking the jar from the girl.

She pouted. “You know it irritates me when you address me so formally,” she huffed.

“I know,” Stelle said with a wink as she patted Bailu’s head. “Little sister.”

At that, Bailu broke into a smile. “That’s better. Hey, why don’t you go try it now? That way, I can examine you for any immediate side effects.”

“Sounds fair.”

“Bathroom is there,” Bailu said, pointing off towards the side. “I’ll go make some tea, and we can chat a bit. Maybe Dan Heng can go grab some snacks,” she said with a mischievous smirk.

Amused, he raised the bag he was carrying. “We already brought some.”

“Ohhhh!” she excitedly cried. “Perfect! Why don’t you go put those on the table in the tea room? I’ll join you shortly.”

Dan Heng gave her a nod.

As Bailu headed off, Stelle followed suit, but not before giving Dan Heng a gentle pat on the shoulder. I’ll be back, her smile seemed to say.

Before she could disappear completely, Dan Heng took hold of her hand, pressing a light kiss to the back of it before she slipped away.

He relished the smile that appeared on her face as a result.

When Dan Heng arrived in the tea room, he took a moment to arrange the snacks they’d brought from the Astral Express on the table. Stelle had done her best to cook some of them, hence their… rustically charming appearance. The rest, though, were pre-packaged snacks, stolen from the stash that March 7th added to every time they visited somewhere. Bailu would undoubtedly find them enjoyable.

“I have tea!” she piped up upon entering the room pushing a tea cart. “Ohhhh! Those look good!”

“Stelle thought you’d like all of these.”

She nodded enthusiastically, her twin braids bouncing as she did. “I’m sure! Stelle has the best taste in snacks.”

He couldn’t help but smile in response. “By the way, thank you for helping Stelle. Though, you look to have been very busy.”

“A doctor’s work never stops,” she lamented as she set the teacups on the table. “But before you go worrying about me, I have an assistant who makes those remedies now. The only ones I’ve been working on are the ones on the red table. And that’s because those are the new ones.”

“New medications?”

Bailu nodded proudly. “Yes. A doctor’s research is never done, either. There are always ways to make things better to help our patients.”

“True. I just hope you find time to rest. You can help no one if you don’t care for yourself.”

“I’m managing a good balance,” she insisted as she plopped down in the seat across from Dan Heng.

“I hope you mean you’re not living off of snacks,” Stelle piped up, making a reappearance.

“I’m not! I swear! I have a cook who ensures it,” Bailu tacked on with a grumble.

“Good.” Smiling, Stelle took a seat next to Dan Heng. “Then you can eat anything here without my teasing.”

At the way Bailu’s cheeks puffed in offense, Dan Heng stifled a chuckle.

Only after Bailu finished pouring tea for them did Dan Heng start up conversation again. “Out of curiosity, what other experimental medications are you working on?”

“It’s nothing I would consider groundbreaking." Bailu held a hand up to count things off on her fingers. “There’s your healing cream, for starters. A supplement for helping children improve from sickness faster. My research on mara-struck never stops. Oh! And a fertility treatment for partners of opposite species.”

Stelle quirked a brow. “Does that make a difference? Opposing species, that is.”

Bailu nodded. “More often than not, people tend to date within their own kind. However, it’s been noted that those in inter-species relationships tend to struggle with bearing children, if they can at all. From my research, some species combinations are completely incompatible breeding partners.”

“You wish to change that?” Dan Heng questioned.

“Of course. There is no reason there shouldn’t be breeding between them. Offspring take on most traits from either one parent or another, essentially fitting back into one of the two species anyway, so it’s not like there’s going to be any disappearance of species or anything. I haven’t found any examples of some perfect mesh between the two.

“However…” Bailu continued sheepishly. “I will admit the research I’m going off of is… inherently flawed due to the amount of knowledge I can acquire on the subject. There really isn't that much information on inter-species fertility, and finding couples to research is proving to be a little more difficult than anticipated.”

Dan Heng hummed in understanding. It was true that, at least on the Luofu, species did not inter-marry that often despite the species all being willing to work together. He believed it to be a matter of pride above all else. Maybe that was why his marriage to Stelle was met with disdain and disapproval from a good portion of the vidyadhara that did still accept him. There was no amount of public renown or intergalactic achievements she could hold to make them change their minds.

It made Bailu, who’d accepted the news of their marriage with no small amount of joy and well-wishes, stand out considerably.

“That’s very like you, Bailu,” Stelle commented with a smile.

“Well, I can’t just leave them when they need help,” Bailu insisted in between bites of her snack. “They���ve been trying for twenty years. Unsuccessfully.”

“They’ll be happy to have hope.”

Dan Heng gave a silent nod in agreement.

Bailu didn’t look convinced. “Yeah, but hopefully it will work and, well… not make them sick in the process.”

“Why do you say that?” Dan Heng inquired.

Hesitantly, Bailu tapped her fingers against the table, her cheeks now tinted pink. “Well… er, one of the ingredients is known to be a strong aphrodisiac. There are cases where people have abused this ingredient in order to make ‘love potions’, so to speak. So while it’s regulated, it’s not too highly documented. I’m walking a fine line of adding enough of the ingredient to make the fertility components powerful enough while trying to limit it so as to avoid causing a problem.” At that last bit, her cheeks flared red.

Dan Heng couldn’t help but smile at her innocence. “You should start on the low end and inform them of the potential risks and side effects of your experimental medicine.”

“Of course, I will. That’s the duty of a doctor. I’m not cruel,” Bailu insisted. “But… I just want it to work the first time, you know?”

“We could try it,” Stelle piped up.

Which caused Dan Heng to choke.

Bailu herself seemed to be confused. “Why? It’s not like you need a fertility treatment since vidyadhara can’t breed.”

“If it’s just the strength of the aphrodisiac component you’re concerned about, then I don’t see an issue.”

“Stelle,” Dan Heng warned under his breath.

“What’s wrong?” she inquired, her brow quirking upwards. “I don’t see a reason why not.”

Bailu’s eyes lit up as she gasped. “Would you? I’d forever be in your debt!”

Flustered, Dan Heng felt his cheeks flush with heat as his heart started hammering uncomfortably inside his chest. “Er… well.” Looking over at his wife, he cleared his throat. “Can we talk privately?”

“I’ll leave!” Bailu practically leapt from her spot. “I’ll go sort through all my notes and research in my office in the meantime. Come get me when you’re done!” And with that, she disappeared.

Dan Heng turned to Stelle, who had already turned towards him. “So," he began. "What is going through your mind to volunteer such a thing?”

“Don’t you want to help Bailu?”

“It’s medication, Stelle. This isn’t just helping her run errands or the like.”

By now, she'd glanced away, wringing her hands together awkwardly. “I know.”

He swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous as an inkling came to mind. “This… by any chance, wouldn’t happen to be because of the aphrodisiac, would it?”

The brief moment Stelle tensed told him all he needed to know.

“Does this have to do with sex?”

Stelle opened her mouth to speak, but words seemed to catch in her throat as she sighed between her teeth. “I mean… yeah, kinda,” she finally admitted.

It was his turn to look away, rubbing his jaw uncomfortably. It was true they hadn’t been intimate in months, since Stelle had been severely injured and in recovery for so long. But she hadn’t been herself for a while, either, so he didn’t want to initiate something she didn’t seem like she was up for. Or was that not the case?

Maybe what he really needed was to have an actual conversation with his wife. While Bailu's house might not be the right place to talk things out, a talk was long overdue. “Are you… upset that we haven’t been intimate since the war?” he asked, turning back to her.

“Well… yes, but it’s more like… ” Stelle pursed her lips as she struggled to find the words.

But what really killed him was the way she wouldn’t look at him. Suddenly, he felt inadequate, as though he was a failure of a husband. Sure, everything had changed with that last battle, including how their marriage functioned. The problem was he didn’t know how to fix it. Part of him hoped things would work themselves out; another part of him realized that they simply had to settle into a new normal, which would take time. But what if there was something he'd missed?

“You treat me differently,” she spoke up, finally meeting his gaze. “You… It’s like you’re always around, but there’s a distance between us. You don’t… hold me anymore. Like you're scared of me. And you always look at my chest with this expression I can’t quite figure out.” At that, her gloved hand clenched her shirt front. “Is the scar that ugly?”

His eyes widened, his mouth growing dry.

“It’s not like I can help it!” she cried when he failed to fill the silence between them. “I didn’t ask for this stellaron inside me. And I can’t help the fact that it did what it did, but it had to, to defeat Nanook. And I know it must have taken a toll on you to watch that, so I haven’t brought it up because I don’t want to put more pressure on you, but does it make you… uncomfortable?”

… What?

Here she was, bearing a scar that was evidence of her near death, and she was worried about if it bothered him? “No,” he answered, reaching out to grab her shoulders. Her eyes widened at his touch, as though she hadn't expected it, which hurt him more than he thought it would. “The scar only bothers me because of what it represents. I watched you explode in that fight. I’d thought I’d lost you, and I’ve never felt so terrified in my life. Yes, the scar reminds me of that time, but the fact you’re still alive is all that matters to me.”

Her mouth formed a little ‘oh’ shape as she gradually absorbed his words.

“But you…” he continued, guilt welling up in him with each passing second. “It always seemed you were distressed by it, so I didn't want to bring attention to it."

"Me?"

He nodded. "You get a faraway look in your eye when you see it, but you brush everything off by saying you're fine, so I didn't want to push. I don't..." He grit his teeth, huffing in frustration. "I'm not good at this. I know you said you don’t want to bother me, but I want you to lean on me. I just don’t know what you need so I can't... I can't fix anything for you. And I know you're tired of people making a fuss over you, so I didn't want to do that, either, but I am your husband. I love you, so I just want to care for you."

Her surprise lingered a moment longer before being overtaken by a soft expression. "Dan Heng."

The sound of his name rolling off her lips was a comfort he didn't know he needed. And when she reached up to grab his wrists, pulling them from her shoulders, he held on to her hands tight. 

"I..." She chuckled bitterly. "Now I feel stupid."

"Don't," he instantly countered. "You were the one who went through so much. Me not knowing how to help isn't your fault."

“But you did help me,” she said, giving his hands a squeeze. “All the time. You were always by my side, bringing me whatever I needed and carrying me around when I had just gotten released from the med ward. Part of me feels bad for leaning on you so much.”

“Never feel that way,” he said, clinging tightly to her hands and leaning closer. “Ever.”

The way Stelle pursed her lips told him that his words weren’t enough to take that weight off her shoulders. “I’m your partner, too,” she countered.

“And? You were injured.”

“But I’m fine now. I even got the all-clear from the doctors at Herta’s Space Station to start trailblazing again.”

“You were told to take it slow and not do anything more than light exploration.”

“Okay, but light exploration still means I’m fine. So can you stop being my bodyguard and start being my husband again?”

Dan Hen’s brow furrowed in confusion. “When did I ever stop?”

“Since I woke up in the med ward,” Stelle answered. “Is it because you still see me as fragile?”

“I know you’re not.”

“Is it because of what happened when I was unconscious?”

A mixture of dread and embarrassment suddenly bubbled up in his gut. “What are you talking about?”

“Welt told me everything that happened when I was out.”

Oh… that. And here he’d hoped Stelle would never find out. “What exactly do you know?”

She gave him an abashed grimace. “That Welt and March had to physically restrain you when the doctors said I might not make it. And that you literally wouldn’t leave your self-imposed post at my door until Himeko forced you, and it was only because the doctors begged her to.”

He grit his teeth. So she really did know everything.

“Ever since I woke up," she continued, "you’ve been protective, and I know it’s just you were just worried about me. That’s just who you are, and I love that about you, but I was hoping you’d realize I was fine and go back to normal. I… I’m sorry I made you worry so much about me, but I’m okay now. So, can I just have my husband back?"

Before Dan Heng could answer, it hit him that her eyes were growing glassy. Stelle wasn’t the kind of woman to grow emotional, so her impassioned plea hit him doubly hard.

“I thought I was being your husband,” he said. “But I’m sorry you felt like I wasn’t.”

That’s when she moved, throwing her arms around his neck and just holding on.

He guided them to stand from their seats, allowing him to pull her flush against him and just hold her. No, embrace her. He’d held her many times since she’d been released from the med ward, but not like this. The image of her possibly dying before his eyes, hooked up to numerous medical machines to keep her alive, had haunted him so badly.

But she was here now. Alive and well. And what she needed was for him to stop treating her so delicately. So while there was that image that haunted him, he would have to get past it for her sake. 

And considering he'd do anything for her, he could manage to do that.

He squeezed her tighter. “Sorry,” he whispered once again.

“It’s okay,” she responded just as quietly. And as she took in a shaky breath, he realized she was on the verge of tears. “Sorry for doubting you.”

Unsure how else to respond, he simply pressed a long kiss into her hair at her temple as he started rubbing long, soothing strokes on her back.

She, in turn, melted into him, her face nuzzling deeper against his shoulder.

Aeons, he didn’t realize how desperately he missed this.

They stood like that for a while, her quiet sniffles paired with a growing damp spot on his shirt. And he just held her, his own eyes feeling a little overly watery as well. 

But as they calmed down, Dan Heng slowly came back to reality, and reality was they were still in Bailu’s tea room. With Bailu still waiting in a different room for an answer.

“Are you okay now?” he asked.

She nodded into his shoulder.

“Because as much as I enjoy this, there is a different topic we have to discuss.”

Stelle pushed away from him, but her hands didn’t leave his shoulders. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Is the reason you wanted the aphrodisiac because you wanted to close the distance between us?”

She nodded. “I wanted back the man who… you know, used to slam me up against a wall or two instead of treating me like I would break.”

He sighed, a muddle of messy emotions swirling like a storm inside of him now. “I’d… think it best to take it easy.”

That storm of emotions only got worse when she seemed disappointed at the prospect.

“But,” he continued, taking a pause to clear his throat. “If I promise you we can make love tonight, will that be a good enough start for you?”

A little grin paired with the red dusting on her cheeks. “I would like that.”

“So, we can say no to Bailu?”

She hummed. “I mean… we wouldn’t have to use it tonight.”

Oh no. He forgot he was arguing with Stelle, a woman who didn't give up easily once she set her mind to things. One of her many charms... and drawbacks. 

“And it is for helping Bailu.”

“In the grand scheme of things, there is little help we can give her. She did her best as a doctor to make the medication safe, and she will have to explain the side effects to her patients regardless.”

She sighed. “I guess so…”

He did not like where this conversation was going. “And you still want it.”

She squirmed under his touch.

It was his turn to heave a sigh. “Stelle.”

“Dan Heng.”

After a moment’s stare off, she relented first. “Alright, fine. If you don’t want to, I won’t force you. But, you better keep your promise to spend time together tonight. I… miss you.”

Those last three words were spoken quietly, but Dan Heng caught the intensity in them anyway. He cradled her cheek. “I miss you, too.”

Although her cheeks turned pink, her expression brightened at that.

And then, to reward her—and because he hadn’t done so in too long—he kissed her. Not just a light peck, but indulged her in a firm, genuine kiss.

She gave a little whine of protest when he pulled away, but part of his hazy mind reminded him a certain young vidyadhara was still waiting for them. “We need to go give Bailu an answer,” he whispered to her.

Although she sighed, she did pull away. “You’re right.”

Hence, after untangling themselves, they headed towards Bailu’s office. Stelle reached for Dan Heng’s hand, holding onto it tightly. 

Glancing down at her, he caught her shooting him a smile, one that seemed relaxed and genuinely happy for the first time in a while. He didn’t realize how badly he’d been longing for such a sight.

Dan Heng knocked on the door to Bailu’s office, garnering a quick reply. With permission, he opened the door.

“You two took a while,” she pointedly commented.

“Sorry,” Stelle apologized. “There were… other things we needed to discuss as well.”

“It all pertained to the offer,” Dan Heng cut in before Bailu could ask if it was necessary.

“Huh, well, okay.” With that, Bailu stood from her seat. “So, what’s the verdict?”

“Actually,” Stelle began, “we decided—”

“To ask about the risks,” Dan Heng finished for her.

She glanced up at him, her brow quirked up in confusion.

Which was understandable. Part of him still didn’t want to, as he deemed it unnecessary. But when Stelle had grabbed hold of his hand, walking close to him even if for only a short distance, he realized that it would mean a lot to her if he caved. And considering she had just voiced her worry about him pushing her away and being distant, he decided that maybe it would be more beneficial to indulge her here. To prove that he still wanted her, even if it meant going along with her half-thought-out schemes.

“So you’ll do it?” Bailu asked, eyes lighting up. “It really would help me soooo much.”

Dan Heng glanced over to Stelle, who looked up at him with bemusement yet still gave his hand an affectionate squeeze.

Yes, he decided. This was the right choice.

#honkai star rail #honkai fanfic #danstelle #hsr bailu #romantic fluff

[emblemxeno]

Definitive “Feelings On 3H” Post

So I’m making one big post on my feelings on major things worth discussing about 3H and how I feel about it. Don’t feel obligated to really interact with this one much, it’s mostly just for my sake, as something I can just link to and say “go to section X about how I feel about Y”.

The reason behind this is I just don’t really want to actively engage in 3H discourse anymore. I feel as if I’m a broken record at this point. If I have new things to say about it somehow, I’ll say it, but for the most part, I’ll refer people to this if they wanna know how I feel about general 3H talk. 

Story

Story Section 1- General narrative feelings on each route.

Azure Moon is, in my opinion, the most solidly constructed route in terms of writing, character development, and storytelling. It knows what it wants to accomplish and, aside from a few gripes, I will always applaud it for that. Verdant Wind and Silver Snow meanwhile, aren’t bad and I certainly didn’t have a terrible time playing through them. However, the unique story bits in each route don’t justify the gameplay experience you have to work through in order to get to them. Still, the big reveals in each route were nice to hear for the first time, and specifically for VW I enjoy Claude very much. Crimson Flower I don’t enjoy that much at all. Its story is what I can only describe as a static, eye-roll inducing victory march, which makes up for its lack of length with its seemingly intentional negative character development; everyone is ignorant, an asshole, or sad as fuck aside from the CF exlcusive cast. I would give the route props had the game bothered to stand in its foundation rather than flounder and make numerous attempts to depict every perspective as absolutely equally valid and righteous. 

Story Section 2- In trying to appeal to every perspective, the game lacks focus, foundation, and respect for itself.

It should be expected that a game with multiple routes tackle different specific subjects. However, in Fire Emblem, there always, always manages to be a unifying theme or foundational story philosophy-an Aesopian type moral if you will-no matter the route. Alm and Celica learn that their one individual philosophies can’t exist on their own, and that leadership requires strength and compassion of equal measure. Eirika and Ephraim learn that personal wishes must take a backseat for the good of Renais and Magvel as a whole, as their routes in FE8 use their own weaknesses to develop them as leaders and royalty. Corrin’s one constant in the Fates games is that conflict is inherently meaningless and does nothing but perpetuate a brutal cycle of hatred, vengeance, and violence. 

Even in games like FE7 and FE10, where the technical ‘route splits’ are more unconventional, there’s still unifying themes that manage to wrap back around at the end (7′s ‘single-minded pursuit of justice and strength/power to protect can actively hurt you and those around you, especially if you are ignorant to the pain others are going through’ and 10′s ‘people have as much capacity to be good as they have to be evil, they will hurt each other due to petty misunderstandings and bigoted views, however, they are worthy of living as they are because of the ability to grow, change, and aspire to something better’).

3H, to put it simply, does not have any grand unifying theme unique to itself. The closest examples I can think of is ‘It’s worth it to reach out to those around you to share your pain so you don’t become engulfed in it’ and ‘no matter what side you fight for, war makes everyday life a living hell for everyone’.

But to me, both of those things are just... basic truths and story elements present in every dialogue heavy FE game. War has been showcased as being terrible since FE1, where characters were held hostage, threatened to fight for a cause they didn’t believe in, innocent villages were destroyed, there was a literal child slave market, etc. And sharing your pain with those close to you in order to bear life’s challenges has been a constant trope with many FE characters, story significant or otherwise, since at least FE6 with Guninivere (probably earlier if I’m missing something from FE4 or 5). The only difference is that 3H has a fun little song to go with it.

That leaves the specific themes of each route and perspective, but because each leading character is so different from the other, and the writers didn’t want to overtly favor one over the rest, every dialogue regarding these things feels compromised; half baked, or lacking a point. 

‘Crests are symbolic of a harmful power structure but also are a symbol of justice used to ward away threats but also are a tool used to gain social and political capital in order to change the world but also are an ancient power obtained through destruction that must be used with wisdom.’ Four different perspectives from four different routes that the game attempts to depict in a balance in almost every single dialogue regarding them. And this same process is applicable to the game’s attempts at discussing race/ethnicity, xenophobia, classism, religious views, mental health, etc. There always has to be two, three, four, or five sides to every story in 3H, and that results in an exhuasting and stretched thin narrative that, in its attempts to appeal to everyone, ends up lacking substance in every point it tries to make.

Now, that itself would make for a fascinating and meta theme for the game to uphold, where ‘attempts at trying to balance and accept every perspective leads to an ineffective world that desperately needs unwavering, unconditional, and compassionate leadership’ but 1) that would require the game to play up the need for ‘seeing every side’ as something to be deconstructed, and the game doesn’t do that, it’s played painfully straight, and 2) when it’s one major power (Edelgard) vs. three major powers (Dimitri, Claude, and Rhea), the attempt at balance fails no matter what you do. This lack of focus reads to me that there was lack of respect for the game’s story itself.

Story Section 3- “It insists upon itself, Lois.”

Every time I think about the finer details of story bits in 3H I don’t care for, my brain always comes back to that Family Guy scene where Peter talks about not caring for The Godfather and saying that it’s because the movie insists upon itself. Now, that was done for comedy, but for 3H I must say that it’s a perfect sentence to use. 3H insists upon itself. This is in spite of the fact that there’s no one unifying point that it’s trying to convey to the player, beyond what any other FE games was able to do. So to make up for that, each small instance reads like the game beating the player over the head with whatever minute moral or lesson it’s trying to convey.

Crests are bad? Roll out the Edelgard, Sylvain, or Lysithea dialogue saying so. Church is sus? Get Edelgard or occasionally Claude. Nobles are pretentious? Get the sad NPCs or the few actual commoner characters to imply it. War is bad and cruel? Fire the next “Sad Dorothea” dialogue at the player’s face. Interactions feel artificial, ostentatious even. Part of that is because there’s no other way to get these points across due to Byleth being a silent avatar, the other part though? Feels as if the writers were overtly proud of themselves. “Wow, the war means Bernadetta leaves her room more often, isn’t that a sign that it really changes people?” Yeah, no shit. 

Perhaps the most egregious example is the endless instances of the game pushing the idea that there’s “no good side” in war or that “war is a battle of ideals and no one is fully correct” or other moments that want the player to know how deep and Morally Gray the narrative is. It’s cheap and inauthentic, especially when you have a faction like the Slithers. You can’t prop up Gray Morality and have an inarguably evil underground terrorist group. 

To be crude, this game explains things to you like you’re five despite being rated T for teens in a series catered mostly to young adults. I get the point you’re trying to make, you did it poorly, now stop repeating yourself, your final grade is a D+.

Story Section 4- 3H likes spectacle over substance.

3H revels in being showy over being constructive. There’s great moments, but there’s not a great plot. 

For example, Byleth has many flashy moments that show how awesome they are! They’re connected to a goddess, they can wind back time, they have a super cool historical sword, they’re a top tier mercenary, they’re a great teacher, they’re next in line for Archbishop or the throne for all of Fodlan, their Crest is the game’s version of the Fire Emblem!

Cool! What’s the significance behind all these choices in the writing room? Seemingly next to nothing other than it sounded cool. That’s how it feels anyway.

The SotC doesn’t do anything in the story beyond be Sothis’ bones, likewise the Crest of Flames is nothing other than symbolic since it lacks gameplay or story significance beyond “main characters have it”, Divine Pulse has weak narrative justification for what should be a simple gameplay exclusive rewind, the goddess in question is an underutilized character who checks out before part 1 ends, there’s no gameplay basis showcasing that they’re any better at fighting than their students, and every high level position Byleth is granted makes no sense for them to have given what little established character we get.

That’s 3H in a nutshell. Crests don’t matter other than to be a story device. Being noble or commoner doesn’t matter. The hidden technology doesn’t matter. Abyss is a joke. And on and on and on. 3H profits off of being enticing and cool looking for the sake of it, without actually utilizing or explaining any of this flashy stuff that matters for a video game medium. It makes for underwhelming gameplay and artificial characters. Example, for as much as I love Yuri, take a few minutes to read his backstory; it’s batshit and nigh unbelievable. And it’s indicative of the fact that 3H cares more about including things that sound cool than it does about making sense of anything. We see the impact, but never any material significance, which is the opposite of what you want in a detail oriented narrative like this.

Story Section 5- 3H has very gross tropes.

During 3H’s first year of being out, I desperately wanted to stay true to a view that “hey now, just because it’s depicted like this, doesn’t mean we should blast it, it’s just a video game” but, y’know. I grew up. And part of growing up is recognizing the nuanced parts of these kinds of things. 

I won’t accuse the writers of being actively ignorant or bigoted, cuz I don’t know anything about them. But fuck. Fuck, does this game read worse and worse over the years in terms of how utterly terribly it handles sensitive issues.

Multiple brown characters treated like trash by the white/pale majority, with countries said brown characters hail from described as savage and animalistic. Rampant misogynistic tropes, most notably selling women off to be married. Strange, and incessant sympathy for the character starting a war that upends the lives of common people, said character also allowing human experimentation to occur. The offensive and archaic handling of mental illnesses, specifically anxiety disorders, personality disorders, and PTSD in certain instances (IMO only Dimitri and Marianne are done with any sort of grace). And that’s just the explicit stuff! Just the other day I was talking about how there’s incredibly disturbing anti-Semitic undertones regarding the Empire (confirmed to be based on Germany btw) and the Nabateans, something that’s, at times, uncritically repeated by people in this game’s community. This game is mired in terrible allegories and metaphors, which make me cringe the more I think about the real world implications that these lines of thought can have on people in volatile corners of the Internet.

And the kicker is that the writers are so committed to making these things relate to Crests or nobility, as if either of those things are strictly the reason why oppression or discrimination occurs.

The game employs drastic harmful stereotypes, and undercuts all of them by foisting its half-baked unique gameplay/lore toy onto the conversations. It fumbles the ball and didn’t even clean up the mess well.

Characters

I have a tier list of how much I enjoy the characters right here. 

Long story short, when the characters are good, they’re good. Like, holy fuck, love them. But when they’re bad? Throw them away. Can’t stand them. And sometimes characters fall in the middle where I see the good but they’re at times written in ways that piss me off.

Worldbuilding/Setting - More is not always better

First off, when you make a character tell the player “Go read in the library for lore”, you’ve lost me. There’s nothing fun and interesting in 3H as a game for you to read in the library.

Fire Emblem’s gameplay cycle doesn’t mesh too well with the typical JRPG standard of storytelling, so the common solutions to building the world and crafting the stories was 1) make as much use as possible of cutscenes, art/cgs, and narrations to communicate the important details before and after battles and/or 2) make an intuitive inclusion to ‘break the pace’ between maps, such as a home base, in order to supplement what’s already present. Alongside this, support conversations were an ingenious tool to develop the characters and the world at the same time, as your varied and quirky cast can help you infer what their place of origin is like. Plus, the game actively rewards the player for seeking this auxiliary information out, granting extra stat bonuses when you purposefully put characters next to each other.

3H, on paper, understands this well. However, the game has too many minute details for a typical FE game structure to handle. The devs themselves even said the game became a “living creature on its own” and claimed no one on the team knows everything about 3H’s story or world. Ignoring how that’s a serious flaw for a video game narrative, what this ultimately means is that since cutscnes and a standard base can’t cut it, we need more and more and more. Libraries, side quests, tea time, ally notes, gifts, NPCs that exposit at you, etc. The DLC even added another damn library for you to sift through, as if the first one wasn’t a pain already.

And though these little flavor texts, landmarks, and set pieces are fun to read about... that’s it. The game hardly uses any of it. It’s flavor without substance, once again. It’s why half the fucking fandom is confused every other day when you bring up these tertiary details as evidence to prove a point, since the active story is too busy trying to weave the other 600 plot threads together to use any of it. That means, for all of this supposed great details regarding each nation and the important territories, we hardly see a damn thing that’s actually different. More is not always better, and in this case, it’s actively worse for both the game experience and the community experience. Not a good look for a game that the devs explicitly wanted people to talk to each other about.

As a fan of FE ever since 2013, who has gone back to play several of the games to see how they tick, 3H’s methods of describing its setting are just so antithetical to what makes the series enjoyable, and for so little reward. It sounds hypocritical given that I love Fates and Engage, but those games actively set up their glorified bases to be as unintrusive as you want them to be. 3H, however, has its gameplay built around a boring and unintuitive cycle.

Gameplay- Fire Emblem but half the time you’re not playing Fire Emblem

Gameplay Section 1-Monastery

The monastery is the most debated gameplay aspect of 3H, and IMO, for good reason.

It sucks.

Worldbuilding wise, while it makes sense that an important location is the hub for the game, that doesn’t account for how dull it is. 12 months and 4 seasons pass and does the place ever look different? No. A shame, since an improved aesthetic would drastically help ignoring the fact that the place is a bitch to traverse. For as fast as Byleth can run, they can’t outspeed the load times. Quick travel only makes the issue more apparent, as well. From door to door, and from week to week, you’ll endure more load times in one in-game month than an entire playthrough of a GBA FE game.

The other aspects of the monastery gameplay, such as teaching, activities, professor level, and motivation, while freshly fun in a first playthrough, become a repetitive slog in subsequent playthroughs. Giving gifts and lost items, eating meals, planting the right things for the garden, optimizing support point gains, using the sauna, taking care of the statues, etc. This cycle is not something I enjoy in an FE game, and unlike Fates or Engage, I can’t actively ignore it without huge penalty. 

You can skip right to each main mission, but you’d be giving yourself a huge handicap by doing so; not actively teaching students at max motivation in order to maximize skill point gain is a huge detriment in the long term. It means longer wait for better weapons, longer wait for better spells, longer wait for class change, and longer wait for better skills and battalions. Now on Normal you can get away with this, not as much on Hard, and sure the fuck not on Maddening. To me, it feels like sloppy balancing on top of an already exhausting and dull game cycle. Why let the player skip months if you didn’t bother to carefully balance the game so that the players who do skip months could have even a small chance to clear the game? Honestly, it just feels as if they thought “people might find it annoying so let’s just tack on a skip feature”, and that’s disappointing and lazy.

Overall, I hope nothing similar to the monastery’s implementation is included in any future Fire Emblem game. It’s too antithetical to FE’s main gameplay structure, IMO.

Gameplay Section 2-Battles

To be honest, Fire Emblem has never been the pinnacle of balanced gameplay, and frankly I don’t want it to be. It’s a single player game with fun anime sword guys, magic powers, and dragons. So long as it’s not dreadfully easy or overly complicated, I have no qualms about certain classes or characters being better or worse than others.

3H though is a mess. A fun mess, but still a mess. Movement decrease to foot units means you want a mount cuz the game’s maps are big, and the speed penalty for cav classes means you want a wyvern or a pegasus. Physical units do just that (or maybe War Master for Quick Riposte), you get your dancer, have a Stride unit, have your Magic units and warpers where you need them, and congrats! You solved the 3H meta. 

Half-joking, honestly. The game is extremely easy to break, the hardest part is getting to that point (after all, slugging through the monastery is a bigger test of your patience than anything else). Maddening mode, of course, you have be extra careful in the beginning (cuz they probably didn’t play test it cough cough) and utilize your combat arts and gambits effectively, and being extremely conscious of positioning. But, much like Awakening before it, 3H is very easy to snowball. Especially on NG+. That doesn’t mean it’s not fun, but it can get mindless. I don’t personally play that way, but even still, tools such as weapons mostly not being class restricted, Crests, combat arts, gambits, and accessories make the game incredibly simple. It’s a breeze, and only gets harder when certain things are stripped away from you or your debilitated somehow. Again, it’s still fun, because FE is always fun, but challenging? No. Not in a way that I find meaningful, anyway.

The maps themselves? Meh. They look pretty! Lots of small missable details that you wouldn’t see if not for the zoomed in view, that was a neat feature. Not at all useable for actually playing the game, of course, but fun to mess with and to sight see. It does make me resentful, cuz again, we could’ve potentially seen lots of rich, detailed, and varied locations bustling with townsfolk and entering villages to really feel each location. But alas, this is as good as we get.

Anyway, the maps are...fine-ish? Part 1′s maps are seared into my brain, for better and for worse (mostly worse) cuz you have to play them at least 3 different times for all the routes. Prologue through Chapter 5 are either boring, terrible, or both. Chapter 6 is the first map on my most recent playthrough that I say I had fun with in Part 1, then it continues for 7 and 8, then nosedives for 9 and 10, before picking back up for 11 and 12. In short, more than half the story maps for part 1 I find are either unexceptional or plain bad.

Now Part 2? Hunting By Daybreak is atrocious, Garreg Mach defense is pretty fun, Ailell is boring as fuck, Myrddin Bridge and Deirdru are good, Gronder Part 2 ebbs and flows between being awesome and awful, Merceus, Enbarr, and Fhirdiad are okay but tend to drag, Tailtean is alright, Shambhala is hot garbage, CF endgame is pretty fun, AM endgame is okay, VW endgame is awesome, Snow endgame is terrible. I think all routes’ part 2 is better than part 1, but not by much.

All of Cindered Shadows is peak, every map was good IMO.

Paralogue maps I have no opinions on, they are recycled maps with nothing meaningfully interesting about them that I remember aside from Dedue’s, Ashe’s, and Petra’s. 

In short, the battle maps in 3H are okay for FE standards. It’s just pretty fucking insane how many times they get reused, so I got tired of them very quickly.

Fandom

Last but not least, just a shoutout to a very unpleasant community experience. Though it might be the best selling FE game as of now, it comes with the price of having some incredibly disrespectful, vicious, and ignorant fans.

Never have I been witness to or been the target of as much harassment on the internet as I have with certain 3H fans. Entire discord servers made to make fun of groups of people with differing opinions, taking over old blog domains to mock people, deliberately seeking out people who want nothing to do with you just so you can defend your favs, etc. And that’s just on this site! There’s editing wars on TV tropes and the wikis, mods on various sites having to do deleting sprees of 3H discourse, artists being harassed on Twitter, and in general just... inserting yourselves into places and spaces where you were not invited nor encouraged to comment. Some of these people lack basic human deceny, respect, and boundaries, and it’s not cool.

Part of the reason why I’m breaking away from 3H now is because this behavior is something I got wrapped up in too, and I’m deeply ashamed of it. It’s toxic, and not at all something I want associated with one of my favorite video game series anymore. I got real life things to worry about and other games to play.

-

Anyway, that’s pretty much it. All of my general thoughts on 3H, localized on one post. Sayonara, Fodlan Discourse, you won’t be missed. 🤗

#fire emblem discourse #edelgardiscourse #three houses discourse #rant #definitive 3h post #seriously though this stuff gives me metaphorical hives #and this will save me headaches and brain power in the long run