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writingbywatson · 3 years

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Genshin Boys With A Dense Crush (Part 2)

Here is part 2~ so, the reason why I didn't include Bennett and Razor is the fact that I can never write for them, like IDK why but its just very hard for me. So yeah, sorry about that. Part 1 (Albedo, Childe and Diluc)

Chongyun

Dense + Dense = more dense

It was painfully obvious that Chongyun likes you but for some reason, he can’t quite figure that out for himself

But everyone around them knows

Xingqiu is actually on the road to writing a book about the two of you

Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei are betting on how long until Chongyun realizes his feelings

Chongyun doesn’t know why he likes to see you every day, wants to have meals with you, and why he gets uncomfortable when he sees you with another person and smiling at them

Maybe it was the work of g-

“Oh I like them” -Chongyun one day when he woke up

He consulted his best friend Xingqiu about this and Xingqiu just placed his books down and said “dear archons finally, it was getting very painful to watch”

So the two started planning a cute little confession scenario

Somewhere Xinyan and Yan Fei are crying because they lost the best but Yan Fei is arguing that betting was illegal and has no ground in the law… Yan Fei, you betted with your conscience please stop

Anyway!

The pair of best friends decided to go with a simple type of confession because less is more in Xingqiu’s books

It was going so well, a cute dinner and all of that

“I like you Y/N, can we be more than that?”

Oh is that Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei spying on both of you from the bushes? Why, yes indeed.

“You want to be best friends Chongyun? But don’t you have Xingqiu as your best friend already?” - you with your ever so innocent voice and expression

Chongyun is frozen in place

Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao and Yan Fei are betting again this time how many times will Chongyun get a friendzone

Kaeya

Someone revive him

He can’t take your dense nature anymore

This is Kaeya after all everything he does allude to something so WHY WON'T YOU GET IT STILL

“Oh, Kaeya? You like someone!? Can you introduce me to them?” - you asking excitedly upon hearing his and Rosaria’s conversation

Kaeya was pretty sure he was describing you

Rosaria is holding back her laugh, she can't breathe… SOMEONE SAVE HER

“I love them but this dense attitude is too much!” - Kaeya as he slams his fist on top of Diluc’s bar

“Have you tried wooing them?” - Diluc as his wiping a glass down, he's so nonchalant about this situation LMAO

“HAVE I TRIED?” - Kaeya sounding very offended

“How about getting a white bed sheet and painting “will you marry me Y/N” on it?” - Rosaria

“Yeah, they leave me no ch-”

“Sit down, don’t embarrass yourself like a child” - Diluc pushing his brother down to sit

“HOW WILL I GET MY FEELINGS ACROSS THOUGH!”

“Just confess, normally… like… a normal person” - Diluc

Kaeya decided that in two days time he was going to confess to you, two days because he needed to make sure it was perfect

But the moment he saw you laughing with some random guy all the planning was thrown out the window

“Meet me in front of the church when the sun rises” - Kaeya to you when he passes by you at the corridor of the headquarters

When you arrived, he made you stand at the flight of stairs in front of the church while he went down

He kneeled with his right knee touching the ground and he pulled a very neatly folded white sheet from his pocket

He unraveled it and wrote, “WILL YOU MARRY ME Y/N?”

But even before you can react a thunderous shouting can be heard and a chuckle

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? I SAID CONFESS NORMALLY!” -Diluc

Thoma

I’m going to try but still little info on this new pyro husband

Thoma is a very understanding boy

He likes you so much that he's willing to wait

But damn has he been waiting long

He decided he was going to confess to you today as well!

“Y/N! I like you!” - Thoma

“I like you too! You are like my best friend!” - you

Every time this happens Thoma stress eats.

Ayaka is giggling because he has never seen her friend like this

He's trying his best for you to like him, he cooks for you, takes care of you, guards you, protects you…

WHAT IS HE DOING WRONG!?

“You know the festival is ongoing” -Ayato as he watches his sister’s friend mop around like a puppy who has been kicked. “Why don’t you try confessing properly and straight-forwardly there?”

That gave him an idea

He dragged to the talisman-wishing thing and told you that you two should make one

When the both of you were done, you should each other what you made and to your surprise, Thoma made a drawing of the both of you holding hands

“It’s not us being best friends forever” - he clarified

“It’s me hoping to spend many more years beside you as your lover.”

Venti

Barbatos aka Venti the Bard has been singing a lot of love songs lately

Especially when you were in the audience watching

He always likes your smile especially when you were watching him

So when the two of you were strolling around near the church of Monstad

He decided that he was going to confess today

Years of being alone and he finally get what Vanessa told him about meeting the right person

“Y/N, I love you-”

“Aww, Venti, I love you too!”

“Really?!” - Venti very excitedly

“Yeah! I love you as a friend! We’re like besties!”

Dvalin felt that

Andrius felt that

Hell even Vanessa felt that from Celestia

“Oh I got to go, bestie, I have something to do! See you tomorrow!”

Lately, the winds of Monstad have been depressing?

“I don’t understand! I thought they liked me back!” Venti his chugging his alcohol while Diluc looked at him in irritation

Diluc wants to kick him out but Venti is Monstad’s archon so he decided against it

“Venti! There you are!” - you

Venti hears your voice and because his drunk his happy instead of upset

He throws himself at you in an attempt of a sloppy hug

“Y/N! I love you~”

“I love you too, we are fr-”

“NO! I LOVE YOU LIKE A SIGNIFICANT OTHER I LOVE YOU! THAT TYPE OF LOVE THAT IF YOU ASK ME TO FIGHT MORAX I WOULD!”

Xiao

When Xiao first had these feelings he was confused

He lived a long life and this was the first time in his life where when he sees someone his chest becomes constricted and warm

“Xiao! Do you like traveler!?” - you excitedly

Xiao felt a tightening in his chest not that good type but am i being stab right now type of tightening

His answer would usually be along the lines of no and he can’t have relationships with mortals

He usually has a lot more patience with you compared to others but hearing you say that he looks good with someone else just made something in him snap

He didn’t mean to shout at you nor did he mean it when he said you should leave him alone

That’s why he's waiting for you at Wangshun Inn, his loneliness grew into worry when after 2 days you weren’t back yet

Upon eavesdropping around he also found out that no one has seen you and your last known location was Mt. Hulao and he immediately began to worry because that place was prohibited to humans

“Are you looking for someone?” - Mountain Sharper appeared behind Xiao as he reached the top of Mt. Hulao. “Are you looking for a mortal perhaps?”

“How did-”

“-That mortal is pretty noisy, they don’t stop talking and they know you.”

Oh, the warm feeling in his chest is back because they were talking about him which means that they weren’t angry at him!

“Where are they!?” Xiao would realize and I swear to you his ready to break every amber rock around Mt.Hulao

“Calm down, they are currently collecting Qingxin flowers”

Right on cue, “XIAO!? IS THAT YOU!?” he heard your voice from behind him, when he saw you, he immediately rushes to you and hugs you

“What are you doing here!?” Xiao would ask, his voice was raised only because of relief

“Oh, I got lost! And Moon Sharper here saw me, we ended up chatting and I guess I forgot the time, he shared so many stories about y- WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT ARE YOU HURT!?”

“I’m alright… I just… I m-miss…”

Moon Sharper is just looking at this scene and he knows he's about to spill the hottest tea next time the adeptus (idk plural form okay) have a dinner party

Xingqiu

At first glance, it might look like that he isn’t affected at all

But internal his boiling

WHY WERE YOU SO DENSE

IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIS CLAN'S TEACHING AND WHAT NOT HIS PROBABLY ABOUT TO ASK YOU FOR A FIGHT

“You’ll make a great husband someday Xingqiu, I know it! Your future wife would be so happy!”

“I want you to be my wife though”

“What was that?”

“NOTHING!”

He knows he needs to move so he can win your heart but how can he when you were dodging every advance he makes

What is more frustrating is that YOU ARE NOT EVEN DOING IT ON PURPOSE

As an author he wants to experience romance first hand, so he tries to be romantic about it but this was frustrating

He decided to pull his last technique from his sleeves

He lent you a very romantic book and between one of the pages he inserted a paper that read “I wish for you to be my muse.”

If that doesn’t work Xingqiu is going to ask you to fight him

Zhongli

Zhongli, Rex Lapis aka Morax has lived thousands of years

Yet this is the first time he encountered someone so dense at first he taught you were just kidding and pretending but when he described what he likes in someone which was pertaining to you

You simply said “WOW THEY SOUND WONDERFUL AND YOU MUST REALLY LIKE THEM BECAUSE YOU SOUND SO IN LOVE” at his face with genuine awe, there was no sign of you being flustered and whatnot

Hu Tao was there to witness this and the younger female had a good laugh when she witnessed this

Zhongli is now praying to Guizhong for help and patience

He first wondered if the reason for such behavior was because you dislike him but it wasn’t the case because you would always smile when you see him

Which makes his knees very weak

In heaven, all the dead gods are laughing at him

He has lived for so many years and yet he doesn’t know what to do because he wants to spend years with you

But a part of him says this isn’t right because his an immortal and you were a mortal, someday him being a former god would drive an enigma in the future

That’s why he was also hesitating on his part

“Zhongli, look-look! A merchant from Monstad gave me a Cecilia!” - you snapping him from his thought, he's a tall man so you had to tip-toe to put the flower in his hair

“There you look even prettier now!” - you smiling up to him

As you were withdrawing your hand, Zhongli grabs it and places it in front of his lips

“I love you Y/N”

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randomshyperson · 3 years

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Wanda Maximoff x Reader / The Parent Trap - Final

Summary: When the identical twins Billy and Tommy Maximoff are sent to the same summer camp, they hatch a plan to get their mothers back together by switching places. Or, The Parent Trap AU.

Read on AO3 - Complete

Warnings: Fluff and a bit of language.

Notes: Tumblr won't let me answer anyone's comments, but don't think I didn't read yours in the first part post!!! Thanks for all the replies. Happy reading. Also, gif is not mine, and is absolutely perfect.

PART I

Wanda was not going to the camp.

Billy and Tommy were not the least bit happy about the news, but she insisted that it was best that they get used to Tabitha's presence in the family. You ignored the part of yourself that wanted to beg Wanda to go, and acted like a grown woman and more importantly, a committed one.

Wanda waved to you from the porch of your house while Nat gave you a wry smile and a look that said "we'll be talking about you the whole time" as you drove off.

At least the drive up to the mountains was quiet, you sang songs on the radio with the boys while Tabitha filled herself with repellent while she complained about the weather.

It was good to be in nature. You and Billy had made it a late summer ritual to spend time camping for a weekend and it was always great fun.

You were optimistic that it would be even more special now that Tommy was present.

- Hurry up, please. We have to arrive before sunset. - You told the three who were following you down the rocky path with difficulty.

- I need to drink some water and breathe, okay? I'll catch up with you. - says Tabitha, looking tired. She sits down on a rock next. You want to reach the place where you're staying before it gets dark, so you just nod in agreement and keep walking.

You have just walked a short distance when you hear your fiancée's scream. You run back the way you came and find her waving her hands in the air as if she had seen something.

- Tabi, what happened? - you ask worriedly.

- A monster attacked me! - she exclaimed with a mixture of disgust and fear, pointing at something on the ground. You looked in the direction and found only a frightened lizard, lying against one of the rocks, and let out a chuckle. Tabi then turned to the boys next to you with an angry expression. - These little brats have something to do with this!

- Come on, Tabitha. Stop it. - You scold her. - We have to go, okay? Hurry up.

You think harmony has improved when you're all sitting around the campfire.

- Those damn mosquitoes seem to like this stuff! - grumbled Tabitha angrily at your side. You frowned curiously.

- Let me see what you're using. - You took the transparent container, and twirled it around in your fingers. Then you sprinkled some on your own hand and smelled it. And then you giggled. - You'll attract all the bugs in the world with this. It's sugar water.

Tabitha let out a disgruntled sigh as she threw the package on the floor.

- Aren't you going to eat dinner? - you ask, noting that she was the only one who didn't help herself to the trout.

She lets out a wry chuckle.

- No, thanks. - She says. - I don't eat that stuff. I'll wait for breakfast. What are we having?

- Trout. - Your children answer in unison in a wry tone. You find it funny but prefer not to laugh.

- Great. - Tabitha rebuts impatiently. And then she gets up and says she's going to bed. You are trying to keep the little bit of trout left from burning, and are slightly startled when you feel Tabitha's hands on your neck. She gives you an open-mouth kiss, and you feel really uncomfortable. You don't notice the look of defiance she throws at your children. - Good night, honey.

- Good night. - You mumble with confusion at such a sudden display of affection.

You end up going to bed very late after Tabitha leaves. Much because your children are extremely more talkative and comfortable when she is not present. And then you spend hours listening to history of the camp and of Tommy, whom you knew so little about but loved so deeply. Maybe you ask too much about Wanda, but Tommy doesn't mind telling.

You send them to their tents as Billy begins to doze off against his brother. You can't help but think about how much you will miss the other half of your family when they return to London.

You awake in fright to the sound of a distant scream. You stumble between the blankets to open the tent, and when you pop your head out, you frown at the image of an angry, and completely drenched Tabitha walking toward where you were coming out of the lake.

You hurry out of the tent.

- Tabi, what happened? - You ask but take a step back when she continues to advance aggressively towards you.

- Here's the deal girl. - she says angrily as she catches up to you. - The day we get married, I'm going to send these brats to the first Swiss boarding school I can find! You choose now, me or them!

- Them. - you say without hesitation, a smile escaping your lips.

- I beg your pardon? - Tabitha asks incredulously.

- Them. - You repeat, then spell it out. - T-H-E-M. Got it?

Tabitha starts flailing in front of you with high-pitched screams and pushes you away. You roll your eyes impatiently and turn back to your tent to pack up.

Tommy and Billy are laughing in their tent but you don't scold them.

You park the car in the doorway while you help the kids down with their bags. Wanda gets out on the porch and walks quickly over to you.

- You are back early. And where is Tabitha? - she asks, frowning. You let out a humorless chuckle.

- We had a little disagreement. - you say as you put one of the larger backpacks on the floor. And then you reached into your shirt pocket and pulled out a ring. - She threw this in my face.

- Damn, I'm sorry. - Wanda said, but she didn't really seem upset.

- Oh, no. It's okay. - You said. - I think she finally showed me who she really was. Nature does that to people. - You remark with a light humor in your voice, and then hand the boys their backpacks. - How long are you two boys grounded anyway?

- Until college. - They respond grumpily as they walk back to the house.

You lean against the car with your arms crossed.

- Are you really all right? - Wanda asks.

- Yes, Wands. - You assure her. - Tabitha really thought she could send my children away from me.

- What?

You laughed humorlessly, and told Wanda about the outburst the other woman had had. The redhead seemed really angry, but you told her not to worry about it, the marriage was undone now, and Tabitha would not be coming back into your lives.

- I think I'd like a drink. - You remark. - But I'm going to take a shower first. Will you join me? - Wanda's cheeks flushed and she raised her eyebrow. You felt your own face heat up and quickly clarified. - I meant the drinks. Later.

- Of course. - She says simply, looking down at the floor. You hurry inside without knowing much of anything to say.

You eventually discover that Natasha is not home when you finish dressing and go downstairs to the kitchen. Wanda is sitting on one of the stools on the counter, reading the newspaper, and lets you know that Nat and Pietro have gone on a tour that she was sure consisted of Natasha showing Pietro places to drink in California.

- I guess dinner will be on me then. - You remark as you open the cupboard.

- Do you cook now? - she asked as she put the newspaper on the counter and leaned her head on her hands to look at you.

- Oh yes. - you say in a slightly ironic tone. - I know how to make pasta. And pasta....

Wanda giggles.

- Pasta sounds delicious. - She says smiling gently at you.

- Of course it does, I'm a great chef. - You joke while separating the ingredients.

When you are finished, you carry the boys' dinner to their rooms before returning to the dining room. The boys comment that you look nice, but you just smile and close their door.

You and Wanda sit on opposite sides and you try not to get used to the feeling of sharing a meal with her. It is so easy and cozy to have her in your home.

- You know you can tell me what you want to say. - Wanda comments after a few minutes since you have been eating in silence. - You don't have to put on your contemplative face and be completely silent.

You bite back a smile on your lips. It was almost embarrassing how easily Wanda could read you.

- What I want to say doesn't need to be said. - You retort with a hint of humor in your voice. Wanda raises an eyebrow in surprise and defiance.

- Try me.

You smile, but feel embarrassed. Then it's easier to roll your eyes around the room and gesticulate while talking.

- I was thinking how nice it is to have you here. - You confess. - How easy it feels, and how good it makes me feel. And I know I shouldn't think so, but I do. Is that enough for you, darling?

Wanda seems shocked, to say the least, by your honesty. Her cheeks redden, but she holds her gaze.

- Yeah, I, too, feel the same way. - she says finally.

You try not to smile so much, and focus on finishing your dinner, while Wanda does the same.

After you have washed the dishes, you mention that drink from earlier.

You take Wanda to your personal wine cellar. You know it's intimate and romantic, and exactly the kind of thing you would do on a date, but it feels so natural that you barely think about it.

You go downstairs to the wine cellar, while you walk with Wanda at your side among the stands, showing her your favorite wines.

- Oh, you'll like this. - You comment as you lead her to a small cabinet. You open the cabinet to reveal dusty bottles. - These are special wines for me. - You carefully grab one of the bottles, and show it to Wanda, while trying not to be too affected by having her so close to you. - This wine I had at my graduation.

- Wow, Peru, 1745. - She comments rubbing her finger on the bottle as she reads the date. You stored the item afterwards.

- This here is the wine I got at Steve's wedding. - You say pointing to the bottle on the far right. And then you bite your lip, deciding on the next one. - And this one. - You pick up one of the bottles from the top. - This one is very special to me.

You handed the bottle gently to Wanda, who analyzed its contents.

- The Avenger, Sokovia, 1421. - She read it with a small smile. - Why is it special?

You smiled at her, your hands in your pockets.

- It's our wedding wine. - You said. - It took me a long time to find it, but now I have every bottle ever produced.

- Oh.

You thought you were too close, because you could feel Wanda's breath against your face. And you were terrified, but you stepped forward.

- We can't... - she whispered as your foreheads touched. You sighed, and then stepped away just as she took a step back. You swallowed the tightness in your throat when you saw the thick tears in her eyes.

- Why not?

Wanda gently shook her head in denial, but she did not cry.

- You don't always have to be so brave. - You told her, feeling your own heart break at the rejection.

- But I do.

And then you heard the sound of the car in the garage, indicating the return of Pietro and Natasha, and the moment was broken. Wanda handed you back the bottle of wine before rushing out, and you wiped the tears from your eyes as you put the drink back away.

And then Wanda was leaving. And it was raining heavily.

You pushed all your feelings to the back of your mind, and remained tender and calm while your children said good-bye to each other, and Billy to his mother. You thought that crying would make them more nervous. And then you hugged Wanda tight before letting her go again.

As Billy and Natasha walked them to the taxi, you let the tears flow. And then you realized that you would not go through this again. You couldn't lose Wanda twice.

You have about a two-hour head start when you arrive in London with Billy. And then you are standing in the doorway of Wanda's house, and you are trembling. Billy holds your hand when you knock.

Erik Lehnsherr is old. That's the first thought that comes to your mind when you see Wanda and Pietro's father. And he seems relatively surprised to see you too, but the shock only lasts a minute, the next he smiles and hugs you tight.

- Look at you, rebenok. - he exclaims happily as he pulls you into the house while grabbing Billy’s hand. - You look beautiful!

When you go in for tea, and you explain that you would not leave Wanda again, you also find out that he helped Billy get Wanda to London and you are immensely grateful. And you talk for a long time, until Wanda and Billy arrive.

- Dad! We are home! - You hear Wanda shouting around the place.

- Hey, Grandpa. - You hear Tommy enter Erik's office, assuming that whoever is behind the desk reading the paper is the man. But it's Billy who puts down the paper, and greets his brother back. - What are you doing here?

- Billy! - exclaims Wanda in surprise as she enters the room. Billy gets up from his chair with a huge smile on his face.

- It took about 5 seconds after you left for us to realize that we couldn't let you go.

- We? - asked Wanda unsure.

You stepped out of the cover of the pylon you were standing on and made yourself visible to Tommy and Wanda.

- We. - You checked with a smile. - I already made the mistake of not going after you once, Wanda. I will never do that again.

- What... what do you expect me to do? - Wanda asks in a tearful and slightly ironic tone, and you begin to walk slowly towards her. - That I say we will work this out? An intercontinental relationship with our children being raised here and there... and we... We pick up where we left off. Growing old together... Is that what you want?

- Yes. - You whisper as you reach for her and lift your hands to her face, wiping her tears gently. - Yes to all questions. And don't forget our happy ending.

Wanda lets out a short laugh, and then you kiss her. It's sweet, and tender, and energizes your whole body, and melts your heart. The kiss is like coming home.

You get married on the same ship where you met. This time Pietro and Natasha are the best man. The cake is very good, and the boys get a stomach ache from eating so much. Steve, Tony, Bucky, Sam, Thor, and many more of all their mutual friends show up at the party.

You think your life has never felt so complete.

#wanda maximoff #wandaxreader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #marvel imagines #the parent trap au #wanda x you #wandavision

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bbangsoonie · 3 years

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11:11

member: changmin (q) genre: angst word count: 6,802 synopsis: when changmin finds himself trapped in the past, repeating the day of your death, he’s convinced that he’s been given a chance to save you. warning(s): death

Changmin woke up with a dreading feeling. He hadn’t set an alarm despite it being a weekday. He was hoping to sleep through the day and wake up the next morning. Unfortunately for him, the sleeping pills he took the night before only allowed him rest until noon.

He checked his phone, staring at the date. A year had officially passed by since that fateful day. Groaning, he threw his phone back onto his bed. He stayed under the blanket for a while, not wanting to get up. However, the sunlight shining through his window refused to let him go back to sleep.

Declaring defeat, he sat up and scowled at the sun. It was annoyingly bright today. The weather had no regard for his mood and was unusually warm for a winter day. It pissed him off.

He heard his phone vibrate and chose to ignore what he guessed was Chanhee’s daily check in. Still not fully awake, Changmin walked towards his fridge to grab a cold water bottle. After gulping half of it down, he let out a sigh.

His brain was still at war with himself. Half of it felt obligated to visit you and half of it wanted to drown his feelings in alcohol. He stood there, zoning out, contemplating his options.

Eventually, his guilt triumphed and he found himself throwing on whatever clean clothes he could find. He trudged out of his apartment and down the stairs. On his way to the main road to find a taxi, he passed by a flower shop. The same sense of obligation from earlier made him backtrack and step inside.

It had been over a year since he last visited the place. It felt strange to be back. The emotions he came here with were entirely different from the emotions he had back then.

He asked the worker for a small bouquet of daisies and muttered a word of thanks after receiving his change. After flagging down a taxi, he braced himself for the long ride.

The car escaped from the noisy city and headed towards a more remote area. He almost laughed, remembering how often you would mention that you wanted to be buried in nature and not locked up in a jar behind glass. He used to always chide you for thinking of and planning for your death but in the end, you had been the insightful one. He never thought he’d be traveling to your grave—at least not while he was still in his twenties.

When he finally arrived, his feet rooted itself and he couldn’t bear to walk further. He hadn’t been here since your burial a year ago. A wave of embarrassment suddenly hit him. He truly was an asshole to you until the end. He couldn’t even make things up to you even after your passing.

He hadn’t made any efforts to visit you but it was painfully obvious to those around him that he was still grieving. He blamed himself for letting you die. That burden prevented him from continuing to live life without you. His friends watched as he willingly ruined his own life. He gave up dance and even came to resent music. He spent the past year surviving and not living; he filled his time with part time jobs that would earn him the money he needed for rent and food.

In Changmin’s mind, he didn’t deserve to be happy when your life was cut short. He wished so badly that he could trade places with you.

With another sigh, he made his way towards your grave. He could tell your family stopped by earlier that morning. Someone had left a big bouquet of pink flowers for you. Beside it was a photo of you smiling, oblivious to the tragedy that would occur just a few months after it was taken.

He forced a smile, recalling how you used to complain about how everyone would bring you pink flowers instead of daisies for every occasion. Daisies were your favorite flower and Changmin was the only one who ever remembered.

He placed his own bouquet down and sat next to it. Holding up your photo, he spoke to it as if you would reply.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it, Y/n?” he attempted to say in a cheery voice. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come back. I… I was afraid. Seeing you like this really makes reality hit as if waking up in an empty bed isn’t a strong enough reminder.”

He set the picture down and turned around to face your headstone. Hesitantly, he wiped at a spot and fell into silence.

“Everyone tells me that the accident wasn’t my fault. I don’t believe it but even if it was true, I still hate myself for letting you leave when the last words I said to you weren’t that I love you. Not only did you die a painful death, but you died with the hurt I inflicted on your heart,” his voice cracked as he choked back tears.

Flashbacks of that day flooded his memory. He winced, finally confronting what he couldn’t for a year.

Changmin had left the dance studio angry. Angry at himself. Angry at his inability to perfect the choreography. Unlucky timing had you outside waiting for him to finish. He had planned on blowing off some steam by meeting Sunwoo for drinks but was stopped by you. You had noticed how upset he was and wanted to cheer him up but was brushed off.

Changmin knew he was snappy when he was pissed and didn’t want you to be on the receiving end. He wanted to spare you from walking on eggshells around him and knew that Sunwoo would quietly let him rant without getting hurt by his actions or words. Instead of clarifying, however, he let you misunderstand and walked away.

You watched him leave, staring at his back. The past month with him had been rocky. You knew he was stressed from preparing for the upcoming competition but you still missed the bubbly Changmin. Nowadays, he was more sensitive and on edge than happy and affectionate.

You had bought matching couple rings in hopes of brightening up his mood. They were simple rings made of silver and meant for the pinky finger. It was to symbolize your promises to each other—to always love and appreciate each other. Yours was already on your pinky but his was left in the box you were hiding in your pocket. You sighed and figured that you’d get the chance to give it to him later.

Except that chance never came. Changmin only came across that ring later when he found it on his table back at his place.

“You know, I left you knowing you probably thought I was irritated with you too. It was because I assumed I’d get to clear that up later. Like always. But later never came,” he fidgeted with the ring that now never left his own pinky.

What a cruel way to teach him a lesson.

“I guess at one point, I started taking you for granted. Taking our time together for granted. Who would've known that death would literally do us part before we even made our vows?” he chuckled at the irony. “I never told you but I intended on proposing to you as soon as we graduated. I got ahead of myself and was planning things way in advance. Would you believe me if I said I already decided where to go for our honeymoon?”

He could almost hear you laugh. If you were next to him, you’d lean on his shoulder as you doubled over in laughter. You had loved and teased him for his sweet side.

“That’s how sure I was that we’d get forever together. You spent the rest of your life with me but now I have the rest of my life ahead of me without you. A little unfair, don’t you think?”

Changmin had so many regrets. He wanted nothing but to go back in time and re-do things. After bottling everything inside him for a full year, everything was spilling out now that he was there with you.

You and Changmin hadn’t moved in together but you often slept over. That day, you waited until night for him to come home. He never did.

Sunwoo had called you from the restaurant they were at, asking you to come pick Changmin up. He wasn’t completely wasted but he was definitely too drunk to go home by himself. Sunwoo apologized, saying he couldn’t take him home because he had a prior arrangement to attend.

So you ended up sitting across from your boyfriend, waiting for him to sober up a little more before leaving the restaurant. This was not how you thought you would spend your anniversary with him. When he stormed off from the dance studio after spending the whole day there, you had already presumed he forgot what day it was for you two. You tried to be understanding, knowing that he felt extreme pressure about the competition.

You didn’t expect any gifts but you had hoped that you would at least have dinner together. But now that was also out of the window. You suppressed your annoyance and reminded yourself of how happy Changmin was when he was dancing. You wanted to be supportive of him.

“Why did you come here?” Changmin asked. Something about his tone irked you.

“What?” you frowned.

“I’m a fully grown man who can find his way back home fine,” his words dug a knife into your heart. You wondered if he forgot that you were the reason why he made it home safe and sound after drinking.

“You should be thankful that I always take care of your drunk ass,” you huffed. “You know, you can’t just count on me to do all these things for you. I do it because I want to but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be appreciated.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he sighed.

You hated that look on his face. He had that look often nowadays. That tired look that screamed that he was too tired to even argue with you. It scared you. Even arguing took interest that he didn’t seem to give you these days. You would rather fight with him than live in such silence.

So you did. You exploded at him.

“No, Changmin, I don’t know. I never know what you’re thinking anymore. You don’t tell me anything and just assume that I can read your mind. And it feels like I’m expected to play the role of your girlfriend when you don’t even act like my boyfriend. You need to take a step back and realize how grateful we should be towards each other.”

After your outburst, you waited for his response. You waited for him to either yell back or apologize. Anything to show that he still cared. Instead, he said something that made you wish that he just didn’t say anything at all.

“Why are you being like this today?”

You felt the knife dig deeper into your heart and his words stunned you into silence.

“You’ve changed,” you whispered.

And with that, you got up and left. Realizing he screwed up, Changmin ran out to chase you. It had gotten late and dark while he was inside and the sky was now pouring buckets. Without an umbrella, you were getting hit by the rain that hid the tears wetting your cheeks. When he finally caught up to you, he grabbed onto your wrist and spun you around to face him.

“You asked why I’m being like this? Today? Well, news flash, Changmin. Today’s our third year anniversary but I guess I’m the only one who cared to remember,” you cried.

His heart shattered at the sight of your face. He never meant to upset you. And he certainly didn’t mean to forget your anniversary. It had slipped his mind while he was focused on practicing. All that seemed futile when he saw the pain on your face.

You didn’t give him a chance to reply and shook his grip off of you. Wanting to avoid him, you ran to cross the street before the light turned red. At that moment, however, a car failed to break in time and the rain caused the driver to lose control.

Changmin’s eyes widened as he watched the vehicle crash into you. The noise was terrifying but seeing your body fly in the air and fall to the ground was even more horrifying. His legs moved before his brain processed the scene he just witnessed. He ran to your side and tried to shake you awake. His hand trembled when he saw that it was bloodied by the wound on your head.

The driver came out of the car, feeling both disbelief and guilt about what just happened. Changmin screamed at him to call the ambulance before returning his attention back to you. He begged you to stay alive but you took your last breath that night at 11:11.

After Changmin came back to Seoul, Chanhee caught him outside of his apartment and dragged him to dinner. He knew that his friend would be mourning all day and not remember to eat. So they went to a nearby restaurant and he practically had to shove the soup into his mouth.

By the time Changmin arrived home, it was late. He washed up and plopped onto his bed, wishing the day would hurry up and come to an end. Staring at the ceiling, he waited for sleep to take him out of his misery for a while. Eventually, his fatigue took over and he fell asleep the second the clock turned to 11:11.

When he awoke, he didn’t feel as groggy as he normally did. He felt strangely well rested. Wondering how long he had slept for, he checked his phone for the time. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he saw the date. It was yesterday’s date but with the previous year. He figured it was a cruel glitch on the device’s part and threw it back down.

He got up to get ready for his shift and fumbled around to look for the sneakers he just recently purchased. No matter how hard he looked, it was nowhere to be found. He found it odd but settled for an old pair of sneakers he hadn’t worn in a while.

After he put them on, he turned the doorknob to leave. He swung the door open and was shocked at the sight in front of him. You were standing there, holding a bag of groceries. Just like you did a year ago.

“Uh Changmin?” you stared at him, waiting for him to move so you could walk in.

Changmin was speechless. His brain felt like it stopped functioning; he didn’t know how to react to the familiar scene in front of him.

“Is this a dream?” he asked out loud.

His heart was racing. You hadn’t shown up in his dreams in so long. Now that you appeared to him, there were so many things he wanted to tell you. He wanted to tell you that he didn’t mean to hurt you. That he was sorry. But in that moment, all he could manage to do was pull you in for a hug.

“Is something wrong, baby?” you asked.

“Everything. N-nothing,” he stuttered.

Was he supposed to talk to you about everything that happened? Was he supposed to just enjoy reliving this day? He couldn’t decide.

You chuckled at the peculiarity of your boyfriend, finding him endearing. You motioned for him to move over and let you in, which he complied while still in a daze. You placed the groceries on the table and began to put away what needed to be refrigerated.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk for your boyfriend.

He slowly took the drink you handed him and nodded. He then shook his head, not wanting to repeat his mistakes.

“Today’s our anniversary. We should do something special,” he suggested.

You lit up, excited to go on a date with him. You were glad you chose to dress up today.

“What do you have in mind?” you asked.

“Hmm how about that art gallery you’ve been wanting to go to?” he smiled at your happy expression. “I haven’t had lunch yet so we can eat some pasta before we go.”

So you two headed out to your favorite Italian restaurant and he ordered a bunch of dishes. You had protested, insisting that you wouldn’t be able to finish but he insisted that he wanted to spoil you that day.

He felt like he was on cloud nine as he watched you enjoy your meal. He missed this. He missed seeing you wiggle in your seat because of how good the food was. He missed cutting your steak for you because you were clumsy with knives. He hoped the dream wouldn’t end any time soon.

Noticing that he wasn’t eating much, you picked up a slice of pizza and held it in front of his mouth. His cheeks filled up after he took a bite and you laughed at how cute he looked. Your laughter prompted him to laugh as well, showing off his dimples that you loved.

You left the restaurant stuffed and was ready to fall into a food coma. Yet you couldn’t refuse when Changmin bought you your favorite ice cream. You strongly believed that people had a second stomach for dessert. You walked with the ice cream in one hand and with Changmin’s hand in the other. You stuck closer to him and leaned your head on his shoulder. He turned to look at you and didn’t want to ever look away.

After spending a couple of hours at the art gallery, you found an arcade and tugged him inside. You bet on dinner over three rounds of a vintage game, which you won. You cheered when your victory flashed across the screen, making him chuckle. To be honest, he let you win by pretending to slip up at the end but seeing your joy was worth it.

To Changmin’s discomfort, you chose the samgyupsal place that you two had fought at. Of course, you didn’t know that and just wanted to spend the night eating meat and drinking beer. Although hesitant, he agreed to your menu selection.

Changmin was indescribably elated to be able to sit and chat with you for hours. He didn’t even notice the rainstorm that began once again outside. He was too busy listening to you talk about one of your assignments for a random elective class you took but ended up liking. You rambled on about how your professor was extremely kind and lenient with grading.

By the end of the night, you two left the restaurant and he grew anxious, anticipating the end of the dream. You took notice of his sudden change in demeanor and questioned him about it. Before you could hear an answer, however, your hat was snatched and taken away by the wind. Not wanting it to get wet and dirty, you chased after it.

It all happened so fast. Again. Just as you were about to catch the hat, it blew further away, causing you to step out into the road. And again, there was nothing Changmin could do about the car that crashed into you.

This time, Changmin woke up with the feeling of falling from a tall height. The sensation startled him awake and he jumped up gasping. He scanned his surroundings, unsure of what he just experienced.

“A blissful dream turned into yet another nightmare,” he groaned.

He paused, reaching out for his phone to check the date. Both his jaw and phone dropped at the repeated date.

“No way,” he muttered. He shook his head, refusing to believe what was happening. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

He racked his brain for any plausible explanations. Surely this was another dream. A dream within a dream. Or maybe he’d finally lost it and was hallucinating everything. Believing in the latter, he made up his mind to finally go to the therapist Chanhee had been bugging him to go to. He quickly got dressed and put his shoes to head out. He paused when his hand grabbed the door.

“Surely it won’t happen again… right?” he wondered out loud.

To his surprise, you were there again on the other side of the door when he opened it. Trying to figure out what was going on, he slammed the door shut and froze. Outside, you blinked at the door in your face. Puzzled at your boyfriend’s behavior, you knocked.

Inside, Changmin flinched at the sudden noise. He was bewildered and beyond confused. This had to be a joke. Or a dream. Or a hallucination. How could you be real? There was no way you were actually back.

Or maybe, it was his chance to set things right. Maybe, if he did everything right, he could prevent your death. The idea sounded ingenious and insane to him. Taking a leap of faith, he flung the door back open and gazed at you. Still skeptical, he extended his hand out to hold yours. It felt warm, unlike the last time he held it in the rain. He wanted to cry in both shock and joy. He swallowed the lump rising in his throat and took the groceries from you.

“Are you okay, baby?” you asked, following him inside.

“I’m okay as long as you’re with me,” he said in a shaky voice.

You chuckled as you began to organize the groceries just like you did the day before.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

Changmin stared at the milk you offered again. So many thoughts ran through his head as he tried to understand the situation. He determined that this was a blessing. He was given an opportunity to go back in time and change things. To save you.

“Let’s go watch a movie today,” he said.

He thought out and planned the rest of the day. He would sneak out in the middle of the movie to go buy a present for you. Using the excuse of an upset stomach, he went and bought a necklace he had been eyeing for months. It was quite expensive so he had saved up little by little and now he could finally afford to give it to you.

With the corner of his eye, he saw a couple looking at the ring section together. As if caught in a trance, he found himself walking towards the engagement rings. He gaped at the endless options of diamonds that sparkled as bright as your eyes. He bit his lip, contemplating if he should buy a ring as well. He initially wanted to wait until you both graduated but graduation never came for you. It was one of the biggest regrets of his life.

So he carefully took a look at the rows of rings until he saw one that immediately felt like it was meant for you. He quickly asked the worker to help him with his purchase and ran back into the theater to finish the rest of the movie with you.

You didn’t suspect a thing until he took the necklace out after lunch and put it on for you. You beamed at the surprise gift, eager to show him yours. Shyly, you retrieved the couple ring from your purse.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you explained as you slid it onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

He smiled at how proud you looked.

“See?” you showed him the ring on your own pinky.

“I love it,” he held his hand next to yours, admiring the view. “But uh I actually have a ring for you as well.”

With his heart pounding, he pulled out the square box and stood up. He took a deep breath before getting down on one knee, making you gasp. You felt tears brimming your eyes as he opened the box to reveal the diamond ring.

Watching proposal videos had always made you cringe. You didn’t get why people would cry. But in that moment, it all made sense when you found yourself unable to verbally reply. As a college student, you never expected him to propose. Sure, you had thought of marrying him but that seemed like such a faraway idea. You knew Changmin would always be in your future and didn’t see yourself marrying anyone else but him. So you managed to nod before he placed the ring on your finger.

“I know the timing may seem premature but with you, I want to have the courage to do what my heart desires. I want to see you walk down the aisle towards me. I want to show the world that I’m yours. I want to spend our honeymoon at Bora Bora and have two kids together. I want to raise a dog with you, just like you always dreamed of. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he confessed.

After hearing his words, you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. He embraced you in his arms and you buried your face into his chest as you sniffled. Resting his chin on your head, he wished time would stop. All he wanted was to stay in this moment forever.

By the time night approached again, he made sure to keep you away from the street and from any vehicles. You wondered why he was being so overprotective and clinging onto you. He didn’t offer an explanation and just gave you a nervous smile.

Looking at his watch, he let out a deep breath when he saw that it was almost 11 PM. His leg shook anxiously as he held your hand tighter. You had insisted on enjoying the sounds of the city in the rain so you two were sitting at a random bus stop.

All of a sudden, the cry of a child was heard. You turned around to see a little girl who seemed to be lost. You stood up to go help but Changmin sat you back down.

“You stay here. I’ll go,” he said, feeling uneasy.

While he brought the little girl to the bus stop to avoid the rain, a young boy caught your attention. He was playing with a ball and you wanted to warn him to be careful. Before you could open your mouth, however, he dropped the ball and ran into the street to get it back. You panicked, seeing a motorcycle speeding towards the kid.

You ran out to pull the child back but was hit instead. Changmin’s heart dropped at the sound of the collision. When he turned back to find you, you were laying on the wet ground with blood pooling around you. Seeing you die for the third time wasn’t any less traumatic. In fact, it broke him even more. He hated himself for letting it happen again.

“Y/n, please please wake up,” he begged as he held your face in his hands. “You can’t leave me. Not again. I promised myself that I would change your fate. Y/n, please!”

Every time Changmin woke up, that day repeated itself. And each time, he would try to keep you alive. But no matter how hard he tried, that cursed time of 11:11 always ended his brief time with you with the same outcome.

When he kept you inside, you fell down the stairs. When he tried to make you sleep by tucking you in early, you never woke up. Thinking it was Seoul that was the problem, he even took you down to Busan. Paranoid, he even spent the whole day and night with you at his place. But every time the clock hit 11:11, the inevitable would occur and he would wake up to repeat it once again.

The seventh time he awoke to the same day, he screamed in frustration.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” he yelled out.

He cried into his sleeves, wondering if this was his punishment for being unable to save you. While he wallowed in grief, he heard you knock on his door. He wiped away his tears and got up to greet you. Oblivious to his mood, you walked in and opened the refrigerator like you did the previous times.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

“Let’s just stay in today. I’ll cook you something,” he bitterly smiled when he saw that the engagement ring was no longer on your finger.

He rummaged through his kitchen, looking for ingredients. You sat down next to the counter and watched as he made you kimchi fried rice. You enjoyed watching him cook. He didn’t do it often because he wasn’t very confident about his skills but you loved the gesture. You thought it was cute when he had that concentrated look he usually saved for dancing.

After lunch, you spent the next few hours watching movies. You had eventually noticed how sad he was. You looked over at your boyfriend who seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts. Mustering up some bravery, you proposed watching a horror movie. You knew it was his favorite genre but didn’t watch scary movies with him often because you got scared easily. Slightly surprised by your suggestion, he agreed and let you choose one of the recommended movies on Netflix.

At every jump scare, you snuggled closer to him. Throughout the whole film, you clung onto his arm and he comforted you by stroking your head. Treasuring the time he got to spend with you, he allowed himself to feel at ease for a bit.

For dinner, you convinced him to go out to eat. On the way back, he lured you into a gift shop, kicking himself for not preparing a present ahead of time. While you were busy looking at the dolls, he managed to pick out a bracelet and slid it into his pocket after secretly paying for it. He knew it would be gone when the day reset and dreaded having to see your listless body again later.

When you two returned back to his place, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He wanted to savor every second he was able to spend with you. Noticing his gaze, you stared at him back, bringing a smile to his face. You poked his dimple, laughing at his expression.

“So I got you a little something. I hope you didn’t think that I forgot our anniversary,” he said as he put it on your wrist.

Smiling, you took out the gift you had prepared.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you said as you slid the ring onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

“See?” you revealed the ring on your own finger.

After hearing those words for the nth time, he finally broke down. He began to bawl, catching you off guard. For a few minutes, he wept as you tried to soothe him.

“Okay, spill. What’s been bothering you all day, Changmin?” you demanded.

He sighed, knowing what he was about to say was insane. He didn’t want to scare you but it all came out as word vomit.

“I’ve been reliving this day multiple times. I know it sounds crazy—it is crazy—but I was sent back in time. It’s actually supposed to be a year from now, a day after today. But instead, I’m stuck in this endless loop trying to save you. You died, Y/n. You died a year ago and you keep dying again and again! I thought I was given this opportunity because of all the regrets I had. The day you died, I was a complete jerk and you got into an accident after we argued. I blamed and resented myself. I had so many “what if’s” and “if only’s” that it tormented me,” he paused to catch his breath.

“I thought I had to repeat this day until I successfully prevented your death but nothing’s working. I can’t change things!” he cried. “I’ve tried over and over and over again. I’ve tried keeping you away from the street, taking you out of the city, and even locking us up in this damn apartment and nothing’s working! Every time 11:11 comes around, the same conclusion happens.”

You sat in silence, unsure of how to process all the information he just threw at you. He was way too emotional for this to be a joke and too upset for it to be unreal. But at the same time, you wanted it to be fake. You didn’t want to believe it. You were still so young. You had hopes and dreams you had yet to achieve. You wanted to crumble but you couldn’t bear to do so after seeing how heartbroken Changmin was. After thinking for some time, you finally spoke up.

“Maybe you were given a chance not to save me but to let me go,” you said quietly. ”You said you regretted the day I died. Maybe this is your chance to get closure. Send me off in peace. Find peace yourself.”

“No. No way. I’m not letting you leave me again. Not after all I’ve been through,” he said, desperately hugging you. “I finally get to hold you in my arms again. It’s okay if I have to relive this day forever. As long as I can see you, I’m okay with that.”

“Changmin...” your heart broke at the sight of his crestfallen face.

You let him keep his tight hold on you. He was so afraid you’d disappear again that he refused to let you or himself fall asleep. You looked at the clock and saw that the time was approaching.

“Baby, you know you can’t. I’m not coming back to life. I can’t. That’s not how the world works. We were blessed to have the chance to say our final goodbyes. Not everyone gets that. We’re lucky. We get to remind each other of how much we love each other and I get to tell you that I want you to be happy even if I’m not by your side. I’ll still be with you. In your heart. As long as you keep me there,” you pulled away to meet his eyes. “I don’t want you to be miserable without me. I want you to live your life to the fullest. Let me live vicariously through you.”

“But I have so many things I want to do with you. So many things I never got to say to you,” he stammered.

“Nobody gets to fulfill all their desires,” you smiled sadly. “Just know that I know how you feel. I know that you love me. I know that you want to grow old together. I know that you want to see mini me and mini you. I do too. I’m so sorry I won't be able to do that with you.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks. Admitting it out loud made it feel real.

“You have no idea how badly I want to walk down that aisle with you. I want to live happily ever after while bickering with you. I want to see you dance and I want to succeed in my own career. I hardly lived over two decades but you made me so happy for most of it. I’m glad I got to love you. It’s a shame I won’t get to get my degree after studying so hard but there are bigger regrets. Like wishing I had spent more time with you. Wishing we took more trips together.”

Changmin looked at you with a pained expression. He wished that he had taken more pictures with you. That he had gone on more dates with you. That he made you laugh more.

“I guess we were given this opportunity in exchange for all of that. At least now I’ll get to leave knowing that I’m loved and that you know I love you. Our last day wasn’t spent arguing but hugging,” you pointed out.

The two of you lain wordlessly on his bed. The only sound was the clock on his wall ticking.

“Can you tell my family that I love them? And my friends too. I wish I could say goodbye to everyone but that would be greedy of me,” you said wistfully.

At his silence, you turned to look at him. When you saw the guilt on face, you sat up and beckoned for him to do the same. You glanced at the clock, taking note of the time.

“Ji Changmin, I love you. Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world,” you smiled with tears in your eyes. “While we make promises with this ring, can you also promise me another thing?”

You waited for him to nod before continuing.

“Promise me that you won’t blame yourself for anything and that you’ll move on. I want you to have all the extra happiness I’ll miss out on. I’ll be expecting you to lead a fruitful life for my sake too,” you held out your pinky, waiting for him to wrap his around yours.

“It’s okay if I start to fade out of your memory over the years,” you added. “I’ll understand when my face starts to become fuzzy to you. I’ll even understand when you get married and have kids. I’ll be your kids’ godmother and look out for them. I can’t wait to see little baby Ji’s.”

“But I don’t want that if it’s not with you…” he whispered.

“Don’t be silly. You’re still young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. I’ll be mad if I’m the one that’s holding you back. Now, hurry up and promise me. My arm’s hurting,” you shook your pinky at him, urging him to lock fingers together.

It tore him apart but he shakily held out his hand to make his promise. More tears escaped his eyes each time he blinked.

11:05.

Changmin held your tear-stained cheeks in his hands, staring into your eyes. You hated the sad look in his own eyes but knew yours was the same. He hated the ominous feeling that predicted that this would be his last time in the loop. Now that he came to terms with the fixed ending, he would be freed from his desperate desire for a different outcome.

“Thank you, Y/n, for teaching me what love is. From when I first met you up until now, there hasn’t been a single moment that I didn’t cherish. I love you. I love you so so much. I spent the past year unable to forget you and I never will. I’m going to believe that you’ll be watching over me and I’m going to make you proud. I’m going to experience both my and your share of happiness. So don’t worry about me. I won’t be able to follow you soon but I’ll join you up there one day. Please wait for me.”

“I may be your first love but I certainly don’t hope I’ll be your last. Instead, I hope that I’ll be your endless love,” you hummed, feeling drowsy.

“Of course,” he affirmed. “I love you, Y/n.”

“I love you too, Changmin.”

Changmin awoke feeling oddly comforted. The sun was shining through the window again and his apartment didn’t feel as empty for some reason. He eyed his phone and hesitantly picked it up. He was filled with mixed emotions when he saw that the year was finally set back to the present.

Out of habit from the past week, his eyes lingered on the door. You weren’t going to come knocking again but you also weren’t going to die again. You were finally sent off in peace.

His phone vibrated, notifying him of Chanhee’s daily text message. Chanhee was a persistent one as well.

Changmin decided to reply and asked him to grab breakfast together, which earned him an immediate “yes”. He told his friend to invite Sunwoo as well and got up to get ready for an outing for the first time in a long time. This was his first step in the healing process.

a/n: tbh i kinda cried writing this. i hope you cried too hehe also idk if you noticed but the line “endless love” is actually from the boyz’s “priority”. i really like that phrase and it’s been stuck in my head ever since the song came out

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americangirlstar · 3 years

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Now that both Courtney books are out and I’ve read and processed them both, I do want to say that I think they’re the least well-written of any of the AG books, but not through any fault of their own- let me explain.

(Note that for this discussion I’m ignoring the Doylist criticisms- Courtney and 3/4 of her friend group being white again, the lack of gay discussion in-text in regards to the HIV crisis, etc. These are valid complaints and concerns, but not what we’re talking about right now.)

The Problem with the Current Book Length

I think the main problem with Courtney stems from the fact her books are so short. American Girl has literally been doing the stupidest things in regards to their books lately, almost as if they’re trying to sabotage them on purpose. First they remove illustrations in 2015- when their target audience is about nine years old. I don’t know about you, but when I was six and getting into American Girl, the illustrations were the highlight for me. Not because I had no attention span and loved pretty pictures, but because it showed me firstly what the girl’s life was like, whether it be 1760s wilderness or 2001 Chicago. It was like stepping into their world, really helping you get into their heads, which was basically what the dolls were supposed to do, to let you know that girls like you exist throughout time and space.

As well as that, the illustrations were free advertisement. I can’t tell you how excited me and my sisters were as children to go to the American Girl place and look at the doll displays, shouting that that’s the dress Felicity wears to the ball! or look, Josefina’s goat looks exactly like the book! AG cut that from 2015 to 2020, as if they were trying to appeal to an older audience- while at the same time changing all the doll outfits, accessories and marketing to appeal to a younger demographic.

Now, this isn’t about the illustrations, as Courtney got those- it’s about what they did to the historical characters after the Illustration Outrage™ happened. See, they’d condensed the historical six-book format into two books- not necessarily a bad idea, parents would be more likely to buy two books for their kid than consider buying six. However, they then claimed that if they put illustrations back, they would have to abridge the books- literally my nightmare.

First of all, American Girl, we know for a fact you can fit all six books plus illustrations into ONE VOLUME, let alone two. You’re just being cowards here and trying to nerf your own stories for... some reason.

So that meant a lot of important things got cut- Rebecca’s Chanukah story, Melody’s cousin’s house search, Maryellen’s Christmas adventure... all things important to the girls’ histories and character.

The Problem with Courtney’s Writing

Now, Courtney was the first doll to be released after the abridging began, meaning her books were released, in their entirety, just as short as the abridged stories. So it basically means she gets four books while the others get six- and unlike the others, Courtney doesn’t even have mysteries or short stories to pad out. (And honestly, looking at her book’s amount of content, I’d even argue that she basically got two while everyone else got six, but I digress.)

The problem with her books isn’t that they have an author writing them poorly (I really feel like her author was doing the best with what limited time she had), but in how cramped American Girl made them. Because, well, Courtney has to deal with a lot in such a short amount of words.

Let’s compare her to Julie, for instance- Julie pretty much has a new 70s thing every book. In order: feminism, rising divorce rates, San Francisco’s Chinese culture, environmentalism, the country’s bicentennial, anti-bullying and deaf acceptance. And adding to this, we also have her own personal journies through her parents’ divorce and move, her basketball team, her friendship with Ivy (and later Joy), overcoming her fear of horses, student council, detention... It’s a lot, and yet her books don’t feel rushed or forced at all. It’s just a year in the life of a girl going through a lot of new and sudden events, and how she grows and changes throughout them. She may not be as deep a character as Addy or Kirsten, but not every girl goes through the trials and tribulations they do, and it’s a good series overall.

Courtney, meanwhile, does feel rushed and forced, because of the short timespan. Instead of fitting everything into a six-book format- or even at two-book format that is the same length and content as the six-book- everything has to be fit into two short books. Everything Courtney has to cover includes the topics of divorce and stepfamilies, feminist and technological advancement, the Challenger explosion, the HIV crisis, Hands Across America, and the founding of Pleasant Company. And in Courtney’s own journey, she has to cover her learning to stand up for herself, her relationship with her stepsister and Tina’s own character development, her mother running for mayor and how that affects her, how much she misses her Dad after he moves, her friendship with Sarah (note on that later), her basically getting hate-crimed after standing up for her friend... that’s a LOT of stuff, and I didn’t even include the non-AG 80s product placement they shove into her collection.

But without the longer format, everything is pushed together to its detriment. Tina’s development and Maureen’s mayoral candidacy are two plotlines that are literally dropped and almost completely ignored in the second book. The Challenger and HIV issues were handled decently, but the Challenger only lasted a few short chapters, and the HIV topic was not as informative as it could be, leaving out several things like Reagan’s refusal to treat it for so long, and its effect on the gay community. Honestly, the HIV scare was more shifted to focus on the mob mentality of a new and scary disease- which, while needed right now, also ignores many of the bigotry-related reasons it became an epidemic. Pleasant Company’s inclusion feels forced in, and I think was the only resolution she had to her Dad plotline?

And don’t get me started on the Sarah plotline- every Girl of the Year since Kanani- sans Isabelle and Luci- has had the story of “oh no I’ve been ignoring my friend and now they’re mad at me :(” and it’s SO old. Seriously, I counted the contemporary dolls that have had that storyline, and it’s thirteen*. Thirteen times we’ve covered this issue- almost all of it in quick succession- and now we have to deal with it in a historical character book while much more important things are going on! Yes, it sucks when a friend ditches you while you’re being attacked and bullied for something you’re standing up for, but once again, with how much is happening in such a short book, it just feels like a forced-in plotline that we’ve seen a billion times, and with their falling-out happening mainly due to the attention Courtney was given Isaac, it serves to make Sarah seem closed-minded at best and bigoted at worst- it’s clarified that she’s not, she’s just scared and upset with Courtney, but when you put those events so close together, it leads the reader to lump them together and get the impression that, you know, Sarah is a worse person than she is.

*Full count: Nicki (book 2), Chrissa (book 2), Kanani (2), McKenna (1 iirc?), Saige (both books), Grace (2), Lea (3), Gabriela (1 and 3), Tenney (2), Z (1), Blaire (1), Joss (1) and Kira (1).

It’s a bit weird, too, that Courtney’s... what’s the word? Vibe? with her how her story is written and marketed Is closer to the Contemporaries than the Historicals. Am I the only one feeling this? My best explanation for it is that the author, Kellen Hertz, had only written contemporary books for American Girl before- the third Lea Clark book and all four Tenney Grant books, both of which contained the Friendship Issues™ plot. I’m not at all saying she’s a bad author- I honestly love the way the Tenney books are written- and I’m not saying she couldn’t write a historical book, but it’s clear American Girl didn’t ask her to change up her style or content from what she’d done for them before, as well as giving her way too much to cover in such short books.

Conclusion

Honestly, this conclusion should be obvious- American Girl needs to expand their books again. Whether they simply allow the books to be unabridged, or go back to the six-book format, Courtney's books are too cramped to tell an effective story, let alone the poor abridged girls.

The other girls were given six-book length, so if they went back to that length or format, Courtney would have to be rewritten, at least a little- and that’s okay! There’s a lot of things that could use expansion or connection, such as her Summer trip with her Dad that was given basically one sentence in the text. Her growth with her stepfamily could be acknowledged- and honestly? I think that if these books were expanded, her mother’s mayoral arc should either continue through the books, or Maureen should become mayor before the book 2 arc. I’ve mentioned this before, but having Maureen as mayor (or even still a candidate) would put a lot of pressure on Courtney to be perfect so that nobody can say “look at how awful this woman is for doing politics instead of raising her family right”- which means that when the Isaac stuff happens, it has even more stakes for Courtney and her family. Does her Mom still support her with her own reputation on the line, and what does that say about Maureen’s character, how does it affect Courtney and the D’Amicos... that’s all fascinating stuff that was completely missed out on.

And if she was turned into a six-book format- honestly, here’s how I’d do it, just off the top of my head. It would involve a bit of event shuffling, but honestly I think it would work!

Meet Courtney - pretty much the setup for everything happening, her starting to get her Crystal Starshooter plans and her mom’s campaign beginning.

Courtney Learns a Lesson - her relationship to Tina, culminating in the Challenger incident.

Courtney’s Surprise - we move the founding of Pleasant Company over here, since Molly’s basically her Christmas Present. We’ll probably need an additional plotline- maybe similar to Julie, she can have a story on spending the holidays in different places.

Happy Birthday Courtney - end of summer, aka meeting Isaac and her trip with her Dad.

Courtney Saves the Day - Beginning of the HIV arc, ending at her presentation to her class.

Changes for Courtney - Continuation of the HIV arc as things get worse for her and Isaac, ending where Friendship Superhero ends.

Is that a perfect sorting? Probably not, I came up with it in ten minutes. But would it give Courtney space to breathe and more time to explore everything happening to her? Probably!

The tl;dr of this is honestly that American Girl are absolute cowards right now, and need to expand their books back. Their abridging is only harming their stories- which, as Courtney herself points out, are the reason girls got into their company in the first place.

#courtney moore #american girl #american girl dolls #american girls #1986 #negativity #mine #americangirlstar

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my-mt-heart · 3 years

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TWD 11x08 “For Blood” Review

Welp. This episode wraps out part 1 of the final season which can be summarized in two words. Nothing happens. So many are understandably upset that Daryl and Carol have not spoken one word to each other nor seemed to even be connected emotionally, and I know that might raise fear about what it means for their story going forward. Maybe Angela Kang doesn’t care about their relationship as much as we thought. Maybe they’ll be put on the back burner for the rest of the season. Maybe they won’t go canon after all. Well, babes. For what it’s worth, I personally don’t think this block is a reflection of what’s in store for Caryl. Why? For one thing, their story is not the only one that suffered.

Practically no part of the story in eight whole episodes, with the exception of Connie’s and Kelly’s reunion, saw any movement. Carol is mainly a plot device. Maggie and Negan rehash the same argument over and over again. Eugene, Ezekiel, Princess, and Yumiko have not accomplished anything substantial at the Commonwealth. Alexandria is really no more or less broken than it was at the top of the season. Our people started off with no food, and they still have no food. Pope and the Reapers came in hot with their ninja skills and religious cult mentality, and have since done nothing. And now Pope is dead. As for Leah, oh, I will get to that. Don’t you worry.

My point is, I think we can all agree part 1 was too slow, lacked connective tissue, and was just, well, not good. I apologize in advance if my review feels more like a long rant at certain points, but like I said, I’m here to give my honest opinion. Before I do, I want to clarify that 1) I’m aware there are still two more episodes to go of the Reaper arc, which could make all the difference. I really hope that it does. And 2) Just because I have a bone to pick, it does NOT mean my stance and expectations for Caryl have wavered. I am still very confident about where all of this is leading. It’s just taking a lot longer than we’d like to build up to it. As is typical of this show, it’s only a matter of time before we finally turn a corner.

Though it isn’t surprising at this point, it still pains me that Carol hardly gets any screen time in this episode. I understand she had a big, complicated arc last season. I understand her arc this season is to try to make amends, absolve her guilt, and prove to Daryl that she belongs with TF. BUT. That does NOT have to mean her role gets completely shrunken down to someone with her tail tucked between her legs who’s just going to stand off to the side while other supporting characters, guest stars, and unpopular villains get more story. Carol could’ve been pulling badass Terminus moves at the Meridian, but instead she’s rounding up horses and boarding up windows? It’s ridiculous, and a waste of her potential. Again, I say this without knowing what’s to come in part 2.

It takes an extremely talented actress to shine in small moments, and as we all know, Melissa McBride is one of those actresses. I maintain that a conversation between Carol and Connie would go a long way to help both women find some peace of mind, but their quick little exchange in the kitchen still manages to do me in. The surprise and relief on Carol’s face when Connie says, “I wanna go with Carol,” is so powerful and beautiful. My heart soars, you guys.

Also, for the first time in forever, Carol has a brief interaction with Judith, who like Connie, wants to go out in the storm to help her. Carol tells her she needs her to stay inside to “help the other kids feel less afraid,” and Judith lives up to her word, being there for Gracie when she doesn’t want Aaron to leave. It’s clear that Judith really looks up to her Aunt Carol as well as her Uncle Daryl. We definitely need more scenes between them. Please and thank you.

Though it’s always nice to hear Judith talk about Michonne, to me these moments are becoming a bit stale. The sentiment is repetitive. Judith is sad her mom isn’t around, and then one of the adults tells her it’s okay. In this episode, it’s Virgil, who it turns out is still alive and kicking. For how much longer, I’m not sure, because it seems like he’s already served a lot of his purpose. He saved Connie, who very sweetly rubs his arm in one shot, and now he tells Judith everything he knows about Michonne’s whereabouts which is essentially nada. I don’t necessarily want him to die, but he is high on my list of death predictions. Speaking of death, Judith and Gracie are 99.9% NOT going to die in the flooded basement, so it feels like a real waste to leave on that note. Just saying.

Rosita is a total badass. She’s another female character who’s been unfairly sidelined lately, so I’m glad she gets to slay some walkers. Meanwhile, Maggie, Negan, Gabriel, and Elijah are leading a whole herd of walkers on the Meridian, which is very cool, but at the same time, I still find it hard to believe Negan of all people would be the one to teach them after only spending a few days with the whisperers. Remind me again why he’s needed at all on this adventure aside from forcing tension between him and Maggie, who seems to know her way around very well? At least we’re spared their bickering this time. Sorry, not sorry. I do think it’s kind of cute the way Negan helps Elijah when they get injured from the explosion. I don’t know. Can’t explain.

Now. I have a funny feeling that a lot of people are going to take the Daryl and Leah scenes at face value, so let’s discuss those. Yes, Daryl tells Leah he thinks about what would have happened if they had just stayed at the cabin. Yes, he does confess that Maggie and co. are his family, and he does make an effort to get Leah to come with him. But before you get discouraged, I want to reiterate a couple things. First, Daryl is being strategic again. He sees Leah getting ready to blow Maggie and co. up, so if there’s ever a time to try to make a final appeal, it has to be now and it has to be good. Second, as I said last week, the purpose of Daryl’s arc so far is to challenge his character to not let a dark past consume him again, and for someone who still bases his self-worth on “never leaving anyone behind” (this quote from the SDCC trailer actually doesn’t come up at all), moments of confusion are bound to happen. I think it’s okay that they do.

It is no coincidence that the cabin, aka a reference to the past, adds fuel to the conversation, and I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that the language used is very reminiscent of events that transpire between Daryl and Carol. At one point Leah says, “It’s hard to watch someone you care about change when they’re hurting other people you care about too.” She’s talking about Pope I believe, and while Daryl surely applies the sentiment to her, knowing she’s trying to hurt Maggie and the others, it also makes me think back to his arc throughout season 10 where he tries to protect Carol from that very thing, begging her to “come back with him.” Side note: There’s a big difference between Daryl telling Leah she “could” come with him (insert shrug emoji) and Daryl telling Carol she’s “gotta” come back with him, throwing a desperate “please” at the end. One is extending an olive branch, the other is a necessity for his livelihood. It stands to reason that Daryl, feeling like he failed Carol during the whole Alpha debacle, sees an opportunity to make amends through Leah, and it probably helps that Leah looks a lot like Carol. It is a FAR cry from loving Leah, and if you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe the showrunner. This is a direct quote from Angela Kang on the Episode Insider [full version here]:

The thing we wanted to show with this story is that Daryl and Leah in a lot of ways have exactly the same attitude. They may have once had a romantic relationship, but they’re never going to choose each other over the people that they have loved and fought for because they simply cannot really trust each other. There’s sort of a toxicity at the base of that relationship, and so when Daryl tells Leah [about his family], it is absolutely a gamble. He doesn’t know what the outcome is going to be. What he has seen of her in the more recent episodes is that there is that core to her that still believes in things that are not just what the Reapers believe. I think he sees that there is still a good person in there, somebody who is still emotionally affected by pain and suffering, who cares about other people, who is protective, and Daryl doesn’t really have the heart to try to kill her right there, and so the best thing he could do is to try to bring her in on it. In his mind, he thinks ‘either she’s going to help me or she doesn’t. Either way, there’s going to be a battle here, but I feel like at this moment in time, I might be able to gain more by telling her what’s going on than by not telling her.’

Need I say more? The relationship was always doomed, friends. Daryl’s efforts to help Leah were always doomed, and if that final shot of her glaring menacingly over the wall while launching explosives at our group is any indication, get ready. She’s going to be the big villain for the remainder of the arc, which I still believe will span over episodes 9 and 10. We’re almost over the hump. The worst is over. The chance for redemption has come and gone.

While I’m not concerned about the deeper meaning behind Daryl’s and Leah’s scenes in this episode, I do still take issue with the way Daryl blows his cover. There was an opportunity to really build up the stakes and suspense, catching all characters off guard at once. For example, by discovering the knife or by capturing Carol or both, and instead the writers went with the lowest hanging fruit. Sure, there is still a chance for one of these situations to occur (not that I was ever confident about the knife), but the impact isn’t going to hit nearly as hard. It’s really unfortunate.

As for the overall value of the Daryl and Leah arc? I don’t know how to say this without sounding condescending so I’m just going to say it. An important rule of thumb for writing? If you’re going to introduce a storyline you damn well know is controversial, you better work your ass off to earn it. As I’ve stated before, I don’t think Leah’s character or even just the idea of a former love interest for Daryl was ever necessary, but I do think it could’ve been earned. The only way to do that is to use Daryl’s past love life to inform his present love life, and so far that has not happened. There are subtle hints, but a lot is missing. For example, while I absolutely don’t need explicit sex/love scenes between them, I do want the show to stay true to a character who’s been portrayed to have intimacy issues. I want to see the payoff of highlighting a bracelet that Leah wears on her left hand just like Carol, and losing an adopted son just like Carol. I’m reserving judgement until I see the arc play out in its entirety, but it’s worth flagging.

All that aside, I was fairly accurate about the order of emotional beats we would see, which is just to say tracking these kinds of things can prove very useful. The same exercise can work on Caryl too. Literally the only remaining step is for them to confront each other and try to set things right. It’s just a matter of when the show decides it’s the appropriate time as opposed to letting it happen naturally. You would think this fiasco with Leah would give Daryl some perspective on his relationship with Carol , but I guess we’ll see. Sometimes it seems like the only thing the writers can think to do to avoid blowing their load too soon is to simply keep Daryl and Carol away from each other. For the record, this is a terrible approach. It is what it is though. Here’s hoping 11B will be worth the long hiatus.

11x01 “Acheron Part 1″ Review

11x02 “Acheron Part 2″ Review

11x03 “Hunted” Review

11x04 “Rendition” Review

11x05 “Out of the Ashes” Review

11x06 “On the Inside” Review

11x07 “Promises Broken” Review

#caryl #caryl positivity #caryl is endgame #twd #twd spoilers #twd season 11 #twd for blood

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daydreams-magic01 · 2 years

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Requesting

Requests are now open! I previously wrote on Wattpad where I got over 200K views but I have since deleted my work due to the data breach and the fact I wrote it years ago and I believe my writing has improved vastly. (Well I hope so, lol).

Unfortunately, I am a bit rusty, which means I will only write the minimum of one thousand words per request. I also enjoy writing in detail, sorry if you do not like that.

I decided to keep my Secondary Blog as a Middle-Earth/Tolkien one!

I previously took a break, for personal reasons, but I have mustered the confidence to return. I apologise if I did not write your requests before, I feel awful, and please FEEL FREE to send them in again - there appears to be an error with my ask box and most of my requests have disappeared.

What do I write?

I write ‘x readers’.

I will also write for ships - for example, Harry Potter (as I know the most about the couples in it). I will also write ‘Jily’, (for Harry Potter) because that is superior.

What fandoms do I write for on my main blog?

Harry Potter (all Eras)

Narnia

Netflix Bridgerton

What fandoms to I write for on this blog?

The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings

Please request here if you have any requests for these fandoms, same rules apply, or simply click on my blog on the ask button @daydreams-magic01-mrsdurin.

(You can ask me if there are any other fandoms I write for, but these are my main ones)

Rules:

I do have rules and limits, as there are things that make my uncomfortable.

I write for all genders and sexualities, as well as body types, etc. Discrimination is not welcomed here.

No hate! If you don’t like my work, please don’t be rude about it. I have tried my hardest and whilst I appreciate constructive feedback, bullying and hate is just rude. I have never and will never attend to offend anyone or make them uncomfortable, I always try to put in the right tags also. If there are any issues, please put them in my ask box (however, it may be a few days until I reply as I don’t look in there until I have completed my current request) I apologise in advance and it is most likely due to an error or accident. Thank you :)

If I make an error, please message me privately - I once had an autocorrect issue where a tag went to ‘teddy lupin x male reader’ on my blog when it was for a female reader as I was in a rush and did not realise I had already done the female tag. I am sorry again and an issue like this will never happen again, and I shall always double check from now on.

I will never write anything underage so please request someone who is of age. I won’t mention anything triggering in too much detail as I don’t want to upset anyone. I will not write (describe) rape, it will always be consensual.

If there is anything triggering, I will mention at the top. Remember, I love you guys.

I am trying to improve my smut skills, but writing it does make me uncomfortable. I won’t write anything messed up, too graphic, dark, or kinky or to do with rape.

Please do not copy or share my work in your own books or on another website! This is my hard work, and my writing. It should only be found on this blog. So please don’t. I find it very annoying and rude. (This includes futures and previous works)

You will only find my work here. (I realise I emphasise this and I’m sorry)

Please include the gender, and which person you would prefer it in as I don’t want to annoy you if I make an error (I usually write in third person but if you do not prefer this, please say so). It can also be very difficult to write without this. Please include anything else which you find necessary to apply.

When you request I will make it time appropriate to the movie or show unless stated otherwise. However, can you please clarify when you want it, for example, if the show spans over a number of years. If it isn’t necessary then I will just set it after. :)

I will always try to use the spelling and slang from where it is set.

Unless if I say other wise, your request should be posted within the week.

Have a wonderful day. I can’t remember any other rules right now but it’s like 3am.

Thank you!

Author is always me on this blog: @daydreams-magic01 and @daydreams-magic01-mrsdurin as I have decided to keep as a Tolkien blog for requests, and in that case only future Tolkien work should only be found on there, and all previous Tolkien work as well as all my other requests should only be found on my main blog. No where else.

Please say if you wanted to be added to a tag list.

Please feel free to request on my main blog unless you have any Hobbit and Lord of the Rings requests and wish to see me having a Tolkien blog, then do it on this one, haha. (That link is to my previous Lotr and Hobbit Masterlist).

Please say if you wanted to be added to a tag list.

Main Masterlist

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isnt-it-loverly · 3 years

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tied up with a perfect bow// five hargreeves

Warnings: none

Summary: You decide to surprise Five with a Christmas gift

Word count: 1172

Requested: no it literally just came to me 30 minutes ago

Author note: check out my master list if you enjoyed this story!

Thank you so much for the support. And no matter what you celebrate, I hope you celebrate this time of year, I hope you have a safe, healthy, and happy holiday!

The cold air whisperer all around you, telling you to turn back, go home, and snuggle up into your warm and plush bed. But this was a very important mission, one you could not turn away from. The steps of the academy were covered in a thick blanket of freshly fallen snow.

No matter, you thought. You didn’t need the front door to enter into the cold and desolate home. You made your way to the alley, peering up you noticed that only one light in the house was on. Perfect.

You grab the rail of the fire escape and made your ascent. The metal was icy and cold, it made your hands burn and then go numb. But this was worth it. You glanced into the window and saw Five quietly reading your Trigonometry book you’d let him borrow. He said that this was math for babies, but it was fun to have some outside material to study. You couldn’t help but laugh at him when he said it was fun.

The beeping of your watch pulled you from your thoughts. It was time. You knocked on the window just loud enough for the boy to hear you, being careful not to cause too much noise in fear of his father. Five looked up from his book, opened the window, and was now face to face with you. You watched in awe as the snowflakes danced around his face.

“What the hell are you doing? Do you know what time it is?” Five whispered in a harsh tone.

It was not unusual for you to stop by after everyone in the house had fallen asleep. You had been doing so ever since that chance meeting at Griddy’s. But with everything going on with your family life, you had very little time to see him as of late.

“It’s Christmas,” you said matter of factly.

“What?” Five replied, with a look of pure confusion on his face.

“It’s exactly 12 am, which means it’s December 25th,” You stated with a cheeky grin.

“Yes, I’m aware of the date, but what does that have to do with anything?” Five asked, clearly unamused with your games.

“Let me in and I’ll explain,” you chided.

Five offered you his hand which you gladly accepted. It was warm and inviting compared to the harshness of the winter. He helped pull you into the room, where once again you were mere inches apart.

“Jesus, (Y/n), you’re freezing! You shouldn’t come all this way,” he scolded.

“As I said before, it’s Christmas. I know that it didn’t fall on a weekend this year so you’ll still have to do your training- I wanted to give you something to make this Christmas special,” you confessed.

Five looked at you in an expression you’d never quite seen before. You swore you saw his eyes welling up with tears, but that could’ve just been a trick of the light. You slowly reached into your coat and pulled out a package that had been hiding there. It was wrapped in the special addition Umbrella Academy wrapping paper and tied up with a perfect bow. Five took it hesitantly and unwrapped it like it was the most delicate thing in the world. It was almost like he was defusing a nuclear bomb set to explode at any moment.

“Advanced Calculus and Linear Algebra,” Five remarked, his eyes never leaving the book.

“I know you like to do that kind of stuff for fun. According to Harvard, this is supposed to be the most advanced math class out there,”

“You shouldn’t have,” Five mumbled in a low tone.

“I wanted to,” you defend.

“No, I mean it. You shouldn’t have gotten me this,” He said a little louder this time.

You stepped back, hurt evident in your eyes. You couldn’t believe he didn’t want it. You’d spent weeks tracking down the newest addition, making sure everything was perfect.

“I’m sorry I just thought that you would enjoy something a little more challenging than my high school trig,” you apologized meekly.

“That’s not what I meant,” Five said a little softer.

He placed the book down on his desk and traced over the letters of the title. You watched intently as he did, wondering what was going on in his head.

“You shouldn’t have gotten me this, because I can't get you anything,” He clarified.

Your heart dropped. You knew that his father rarely let him have anything of his own, how could you be oblivious to the fact that this might upset him. You moved closer and rested your head on his shoulder, you felt him slowly but surely lean into your touch.

“Five, I don’t need anything. You’ve already given me the greatest gift,” you said softly.

“And what’s that? And I swear if you say some bullshit like ‘friendship’, I will be forced to make you leave,” He said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“I was not going to say friendship,” you scoffed with a slight roll of your eyes.

“You were,” Five confirmed.

“Yeah, you’re totally right,” you laughed.

“You deserve someone who can give you more than just random midnights and occasional Saturdays,” He whispered in your ear.

You pulled away so that you could look him in the eye. They were so full of determination and love that Five felt his heart swell immensely. You placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him in close, so close that the tips of your noses touched.

“I don’t need a present to tell me that you care about me. You risk everything just to see me, you’ve disobeyed direct orders just so you could bring me soup when I was sick, you help me with my ‘math for infants’, you read Shakespeare and Homer to me when I can’t sleep. Five, I love our stolen moments. They are far better than anything you could buy in a store,” You stated.

You watched him carefully. He was eerily quiet, like a computer processing the new program you had just installed. He was still buffering. He stood without saying a word, and then he blinked out of the room. You stood in utter shock, you couldn’t believe he had just left. However, just as quickly as he had gone, he returned. He was covered in melting snowflakes, his cheeks flushed red from the cold.

“Where the hell did you go?” You asked very angrily.

Five held up a bushel of green leaves with white berries scattered throughout. You soon realized that his blush was not from the cold.

“Mistletoe?” You question with a sly smirk.

“You said it didn’t have to come from a store. Merry Christmas, (Y/n),” He replied with a small shrug.

He moved closer and dangled the notorious plant over your head. You let out a small laugh before giving him a small yet passionate kiss.

“Merry Christmas Five.”

#five #number 5 #number five #number five x reader #number five x you #number five x y/n #five x reader #five x you #five x y/n #Umbrella Academy #The Umbrella Academy #tua #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves x you

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yandere-sins · 4 years

Note

Hi!! 💖 I’m back with another request, if you’re still taking them 😗 how about 40 from the supernatural prompts with yandere Asmo? Maybe he and his darling have been friends with benefits for while, but Asmo wants something more from them now? 👀

Thanks for coming back ♥ Hope you enjoy this!!

Rated Lime for explicit topics and language

“It’s just a simple love potion! Don’t worry, in just a few hours things will be perfect.”

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««

Barely, you stifled the yawn that dared to come over you as you reached over to the nightstand, pulling out some tissues from the tissue box. With them, you dried off your neck, happy to get the sweat off your skin. Had you always been this indifferent and bored after conquering the sheets with Asmo? You did encounter those feelings before once your session ended, but you had never been so utterly aware of it.

“Asmo...” you called out softly, your throat felt quite dry after the height you just experienced, having made you scream enough for the next few days. Immediately, his head snapped upwards, attention shifting from his phone to you with a smile falling over his lips. He quickly took the few steps from the bath to the bed, hopping on despite the pillows and blankets being in such disarray compared to his already clean and cared for body.

“What is it~?” he grinned, looking at you like a teenage girl crushing on a star.

“I...” You stopped yourself, wondering if what you were about to do was the right thing. Something you might have forgotten in the casual, fun, and intimate time with him, Asmodeus was still the Demon of Lust. It would be no wonder if rejection wasn’t one of his strong points. But at the same time, after being with him for a long time now, you felt like maybe... he’d understand your situation. You couldn’t help a sigh, and though he’d despise the wrinkles on his forehead, he looked at you concerned, as if he expected something had happened.

“I’ve just been thinking, maybe we should... end this.” With your pointer, you waved back and forth between you two. “The sex is great, absolutly wonderful, but every time we are done, I don’t feel the same satisfaction anymore than in the beginning.”

As expected, his jaw dropped in disbelieve of what he was hearing, eyes widening. You could almost pinpoint the moment the realization hit him as he worked your words through his head, and it made you bite your lip in fearful anticipation.

But all that came from him was a chuckle, a shake of his head as he rolled over and off his bed. “You’re breaking up with me?” he asked, in bewilderment, and you vaguely shrugged your shoulders. “I mean... It’s not like we were in a relationship,” you clarified, just wanting to make sure you both were on the same page.

“Well, of course not,” he huffed. “But I just want to make sure you know what you are doing. You are breaking up--” he paused, letting go of the towel around his hips, giving you an excellent sight of what you were currently trying to leave behind you. “--with this!?”

Ah, geez, you thought, grabbing for one of the pillows to throw it at him. Even a display of his junk wouldn’t change your mind about how you were feeling, almost relieved you would leave behind such a childish display of hurt pride. “Yes,” you clearly said, getting up right when he caught the pillow, displeased by you merely looking away and ignoring the fabulous things in front of you.

“I’m breaking up with the dissatisfaction and rumors I keep hearing about us. How you go around, telling everyone proudly how you owe me and what a good fucktoy I am.” Your explanation was bitter as you slipped back on your undergarments and pants. “I ignored it for a long time, thinking it was just people talking. But honestly, the things you call me while we are going at it, Asmodeus... They almost make me believe those rumors.”

Reaching for your shirt, you were surprised to find Asmodeus on your side of the bed, just a second faster in grabbing it. “You can’t leave.” His words were clear, but without any undertone in his voice. Raising a brow at him, you just chuckled it off, going for the shirt. It was a short tug of war that you won easily as he simply gave in. “Just think of all the things left to do...” he mumbled as he watched you get dressed.

“We can go steady if you want that?”

“What?” you immediately quaked as you pushed your head through the hole in your shirt. “I don’t want to get into a relationship with you--”

“Just think about it,” he interrupted you, circling until he stood right in front of you. You weren’t prepared for his sudden advances, automatically taking a step back as he moved forward, your body simply reacting. Unfortunately, the bed cut off your way, bringing you into a stumble until you fell back down onto the mattress.

Before there was even a chance to get up again, he straddled you, pushing you down by the shoulders with him on top, hovering over you. “There’s no one I’d want more to be my official partner. You are second to none but me, Baby.”

“How many people have you told that,” you asked, almost bored by his confession.

“NO ONE!” he snapped, surprisingly offended by that comment. “You are the only one I ever wanted in my life like this!”

“Asmo...”

“I can be faithful! I can... try at least. And you don’t need anyone else but me--”

You had enough of his blabbering, spouting rubbish left and right as you grabbed him by the back of his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. Asmo melted into the gesture, arms lowering himself on top of you to make it more comfortable while his tongue conquered every open inch of your mouth. He certainly was a good kisser, but not the lover you needed in your life after all. While he was full of passion, you felt yourself sighing into the kiss. At least, it made him shut up.

As if Asmodeus could ever dedicate himself to anymore. Let alone a mortal human.

When you had enough, you were the one to push him away, his lovesick, glazed over eyes shining as if he was about to cry from your rejection of his affection. But keeping him away by your full arm length, all he could do was mildly struggle against you unable to reach back down. “No,” you firmly announced, feeling like whatever you two had was completely over by your lack of feelings for him.

“But... But I love you?” he mumbled softly, though it sounded like a question rather than a statement.

“No matter what you feel, I don’t feel the same.”

For a moment, he got very quiet. From his expression, you almost read the five stages of grief until he suddenly seemed to sober up, letting out a long sigh. “Ooookay,” he finally agreed, and you wondered what the whole show he put on just seconds ago was about when he was able to put away the rejection easily after all.

Without your help, he climbed off you again, only now getting his towel back in place properly and walking over to the minifridge he kept in his room. “Will you have a last after-sex drink with me at least?” he asked so casually, it was hard to believe how upset he was just now. The tension in your body slowly left you as you breathed out, and considering his offer, you decided there was no harm. You two weren’t exactly on bad terms, and you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Agreeing, he brought you a very pink bottle, the label unreadable for you, but he had one for himself in his hand too. I should really polish my demonic language knowledge, you thought to yourself as you clinked your bottle with his, taking a swig. There was sweet, and there was absurdly saccharine, but the last thing you wanted to be now after the whole ordeal was unthankful and complain about the taste.

It didn’t have a distinctive taste like bubblegum or strawberry, but that was probably because the amounts of sugar in it completely overshadowed the original flavor. “I-Interesting,” you mumbled, already feeling it bubble in your stomach, knowing that meant you’d have a bellyache for the rest of the day. Demon food just wasn’t made for humans in any way.

Swallowing hard on the sweet stuff, you clinked your bottle with his again as he held it up to you, bringing it to his lips as you did the same. You were glad it was so small, barely a third of a water bottle, because more of it surely wouldn’t have gone down your throat. But while his grin grew more and more mysterious as he watched you down the last gulp, his bottle stayed filled with the sirup.

“Oh,” you noted as you looked at his bottle. The sugar was really catching up to you, your heart beating rapidly, making your vision go blurry. “You’re not thirsty?”

“Not for this,” he answered, putting the lid back on his drink while the bottle threatened to fall out of your hand soon as you couldn’t keep your grip on it. “Wha- What is it exactly?” you asked as you tried to keep your composure while the world around you began to turn in quick movements.

“It’s just a simple love potion! Don’t worry, in just a few hours things will be perfect.”

You heard him say these words, and you remembered thinking to yourself what a bad joke that was. But after the crash of a glass bottle hitting the floor, you couldn’t hear anything anymore, losing control of your body and blacking out before you had a chance to do something against your condition.

And Asmodeus? Asmodeus was beyond ecstatic. He knew first hand just how bad those potions tasted, but you had always been too kind to refuse him. He wouldn’t have let you start now with refusing the relationship you two had. Those rumors had only been words he said as a matter of fact, after all, you did belong to him.

He could call you his little fucktoy whenever he wanted.

But he forgave you for the audacity of trying to leave. If he had to remind you of your place by his side, he’d be glad to start at the bottom again - he was a demon, he had time.

Pushing away your legs, he pulled out his fun box, searching for the sturdiest rope he owned. It was simply perfect for securing you, just in case the love potion wouldn’t work as well as it worked on other demons he tried it on before. Tensing it between his hand, Asmodeus decided that he just couldn’t risk you thinking about leaving again, even if that meant permanently restricting you from the possibility.

428 notes · View notes

winterscaptain · 4 years

Note

i really love a joyful future bc its so soft!! but like imagine Jack and Hotch talking about Haley after the twins are born, like having time alone with one of your parents when you have so many siblings is already kind of hard pressed so like imagine idk the anniversary of her funeral or something and they talk about her and go out for ice cream or whatever and then come back and they both are kinda down bc theyre sad but then like seeing everyone cheers them up even a little :( i cant,,,

haley day

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader a joyful future fic

oops i made it a fic and its only a little off topic! please forgive any errors - i wrote this in like two hours yikes

universe: a joyful future words: 2291 warnings: discussion of death

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed! edited: november 27th, 2020

When you woke up, Aaron was already gone. There was a note on his pillow, and you stretched as you reached over for it.

Jack and I are off for our hike at Maryland Heights. We’ll be back sometime in the late morning/ early afternoon. We won’t have service until we’re back down the mountain - don’t be nervous if you don’t hear from us.

We’ll swing by to pick everyone up so we can go visit H all together. I’ll call when we’re an hour out.

I love you.

You held the note to your chest for a moment before slipping it into the manila envelope in your bedside drawer. You kept all of Aaron’s little notes - post-its from work, little things in your go bag, notes from mornings like this. They brought an absurd amount of joy to you, and he kept writing them, so you kept keeping them. You weren’t even sure if he knew you kept them, but you supposed some little fun secrets were good for a marriage every once and a while.

Isaac was already up - your sweet boy, with a bowl of cereal in his lap and cartoons on.

“Good morning, my love,” you said to him as you passed, kissing him on the head.

He wiggled in his seat. “Hi, momma.”

You continued into the kitchen, making yourself a cup of (already brewed) coffee. “How long have you been up?”

“I woke up when Jack and Daddy were getting ready, but I couldn’t fall back to sleep so Daddy put the TV on and put cereal where I could reach it and told me I was only allowed to wake you up if there was a fire or someone got hurt.”

You huffed a laugh at his matter-of-fact tone - imitating Aaron beat for beat. “Is that so?”

He nodded.

You returned with your coffee mug and planted yourself next to Isaac on the couch.

“Momma?” He asked, after a little while.

“Mhmm?” You set your coffee down on the table and tucked your legs up under you, facing him.

“What’s Haley Day?”

You opened your arms to him, and he put his cereal down and curled into you. “Can we talk about Haley Day when Dad and Jack get home?”

He nodded and you pressed a kiss into his dark hair.

+++

The boys leisurely hiked the path in relative silence, enjoying both each other’s company and the scenery.

“How are you, Dad?” Jack asked, after a while.

“I’m good, bud.” He thought about it for a moment and laughed lightly to himself. “I’m really good, actually.”

A small smile crossed Jack’s face. “That’s good.”

“What are you thinking about over there?” Aaron said, noting the pensive expression on his son’s face. It was odd - it was a little like looking in the mirror, but Jack would pull these faces that were so Haley. It had startled Aaron more than once.

“Who says I’m thinking about anything?”

“I can hear you thinking.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Fuckin’ profiler.”

“Excuse me?” Aaron laughed. He was a stickler for language around the little ones, but he knew Jack swore like a sailor when he was out of the house.

“I said, fuckin’ profiler.” Jack tutted. “Looks like your hearing is failing you in your advanced age, old man.”

Aaron pointed at him, eyebrows raised. “Watch it.”

After a moment, they both broke, laughing out loud. They quieted after a minute, walking a little closer together.

“I’m just thinking about mom - Haley,” he clarified. “It kind of hit me this morning how…much that all was.” He looked at Aaron, brown eyes curious. “Are you okay, Dad?”

One side of Aaron’s mouth pulled up. “I’m alright. It was really hard for a while, but it gets easier to carry. I know you don’t remember, but you’re old enough now to know that the year before Haley died was...not great. That’s what I had the hardest time handling.”

“The divorce, right?” Jack’s head dropped as he looked at his feet, still marching confidently up the rock-lined path. Aaron was suddenly grateful, deeply so, for the gift of his son.

“Yeah. Certainly not a shining moment for either one of us, but I think she made the right choice. She was stronger than me by a long shot, and always managed to do what had to be done.”

Jack hummed thoughtfully, and Aaron knew he could take what came next.

“When she was killed, I had to grapple with the idea that she died angry at me.” Aaron looked up, letting the dappled light from the trees strike his face.

“I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean?”

Jack kept his eyes up, trained on the path, as he spoke. “I think that’s an easy way to feel guilty, but she didn’t die mad at you, Dad. Aunt Emily told me how brave you were, how you talked to her until you couldn’t anymore.”

Aaron opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted.

“Don’t be upset with Em. I asked and she told. Not her fault.” Jack pulled a mouthful of water from his pack before he continued. “I think she wanted you to know how much she loved you, you know? Like, Emily told me she reminded you to not be so serious all the time and to tell me stories about how much fun you guys had when you were young and cool.” He shot a smirk over to Aaron, who rolled his eyes with a smile. Jack squinted into the middle distance. “Were you mad at her that day?”

“No,” Aaron answered quickly. “Not at all.”

“What were you, then?”

“Scared.”

“Her too, probably.” Jack’s tone was simple, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to understand. Maybe it was. “You made her feel less scared and you kept calm, even when you were probably more scared than you’ve ever been in your whole life. I only remember her a little, but I think she’d love you for that, don’t you?”

Aaron was quiet for a moment, just looking at Jack as they walked. “When did you get so smart, kid?”

Jack shrugged. “You didn’t answer the question.”

Yep. He’s my son.

He couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his mouth as he retorted, “You’re right, I didn’t.”

Jack crossed the path to bump his father’s shoulder. They were almost the same height, and Aaron imagined Jack would pass him up by the end of the year. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, Jack.” He reached up to ruffle Jack’s hair, but he ducked away just in time.

“C’mon, man.”

Aaron scoffed. “You are your mother’s son - that much is certain.”

“Which one?” Jack asked with a grin.

After a moment of thought, Aaron huffed another laugh and said, “Unfortunately, both.”

Jack’s grin softened. “You miss her, don’t you?”

“I do. But guess what?”

His brow furrowed.

“You remind me of her so much sometimes it’s like she’s right here with us, you know that?”

This time, Jack let his father muss the hair on top of his head. “Really?”

Aaron nodded. “All the time.” Then again, under his breath. “All the time.”

+++

Aaron called you around noon on the way back from Harper’s Ferry. “We’ll be home in about 45 minutes - traffic isn’t bad at all and we’re just now at the state line.”

“Sounds good, honey. I’ll start the ball rolling with the girls.”

You could hear a pair of chuckles on the other end of the line and perhaps a muttered “Good luck with that shit.”

Language, Jack Hotchner.

Chewing on your lower lip, you added, “Also, Isaac asked. I think it’s time - for him, at least.”

“Alright. We’ll go sit on the porch when I get home. Jack, are you good helping the girls get ready?”

“For sure,” Jack’s assent sounded a little distant, but it made you smile.

+++

You and Aaron settled on the porch swing with Isaac on your lap. Aaron held out his hands palm-up, and Isaac rested his little fingers on Aaron’s.

Aaron closed his hands around Isaac’s, holding his attention. It was something you two had established early on with the kids: when Dad holds both of your hands, look at him and listen.

“Mom told me you asked about Haley Day today.”

Isaac nodded.

“Before I tell you what Haley Day means, I want to remind you that Mom and I love all four of you exactly the same, okay?”

Isaac nodded.

“Alright, bud.” Aaron took a deep breath, and you smiled at him over Isaac’s head. “You know how you and Sophia and Caroline came out of Momma’s tummy?”

Little brown eyes looked back at you and you nodded encouragingly.

“Yes.”

“You know how Mom and I are married and wear these rings and live together?”

He nodded.

“And of course you know Aunt Jessica, right?”

A smile broke out across Isaac’s face as he nodded again.

“Before I was married to your mom, I was married to Haley. Haley is Aunt Jessica’s sister, and Jack came out of Haley’s tummy before your mom and I met.”

There was a little bit of confusion splashed across Isaac’s face. “So Momma isn’t Jack’s momma?”

You put your hands on his shoulders, and he looked up at you. “Not everyone is like you and me, bud. You came out of my tummy and I’m also your mom, but some people’s moms aren’t the same person they came out of. Does that make sense?” You were going to continue, but you closed your mouth.

We aren’t going to start the “not everyone has a mom” conversation today. Baby steps.

“So you’re still Jack’s mom, too?”

“Yes, sir,” you said with a smile. “But at the same time, Haley is also Jack’s mom. So he kind of has two moms, which is also a normal thing for some families. I’m what’s technically called a step-mom.”

He nodded sagely and said, “Some of my friends at school have step-moms,” but then his face fell into almost comical confusion. “Where did Haley go?”

You gestured to Aaron and Isaac whirled around. Aaron’s eyes flickered back to yours, and you returned his gaze with soft eyes.

Aaron took another breath before speaking again. “Haley died when Jack was four - just a little younger than you are now - and so it’s really important for Jack and me to have Haley Day so we can remember her and spend time together. Today is her forty-ninth birthday, and sometimes birthdays of people who died are really hard.” He swallowed, and his eyes misted over. He looked up at you.

It’s okay. Don’t hide from your son. It’s okay.

He blinked rapidly, and a few tears fell. Tears pricked at your eyes as well as Isaac scrambled off your lap and into Aaron’s.

“Mom said that people who have died can’t come back and you can’t see them anymore. Is that true?” He asked.

Aaron wrapped one arm around Isaac and placed his other hand on your knee. You grabbed it right away, holding him tight. “Yeah, bud. Mom’s right.”

“Do you miss her? Sometimes I miss my friends who moved and I can’t see them anymore.”

Aaron laughed and squeezed Isaac tight to his chest. “I do miss her. It’s a lot like when your friends move away. She was one of my best friends.”

“Is Mom one of your best friends?”

You brushed tears off your cheeks with your fingers and grinned at Aaron.

“Yes. Your mom is one of my best friends,” he said with a smile that matched yours. “And Mom knew Haley, too and they were friends. There are a lot of pictures of Haley and Jack and me and Mom on the bookshelf in the living room, but they’re a little high up for you to see them. I can show them to you later, if you want.”

There was quiet for a moment, as you both let Isaac process the concept of life and death and parenthood in his little four-year-old brain.

That’s a lot all at once.

“Do we get to do anything special for Haley Day?”

Aaron looked down at him, “Yes, sir. We’re going to go visit the place where she’s buried and then go out for ice cream. How does that sound?”

“Really good.”

“Really good, alright!” Aaron rose with renewed vigor, and Isaac clung to his neck as he readjusted his grip. “Can you go get some shoes on and we can go?” Isaac nodded and Aaron set him down with a pat on his shoulder.

You tucked yourself under Aaron’s arm as Isaac ran back into the house. Through the window, you could see Jack swinging Sophia up over his head as a reward for getting her shoes on. Caroline was attached to his pant leg, begging to go next.

“That went alright.”

He nodded. “Yeah, it did.” He kissed the side of your head and inhaled. “Thank you.”

You looked up at him. “For what?”

With his hand, he gestured vaguely to everything around you. “Being here, I guess?” He laughed lightly through his nose. “Just - thank you. I know it’s not always easy.”

You placed your left hand on his chest and rested your head against him as you spoke. “I know you worry, but I have never once felt like second-best or a replacement. Not even a little.”

“I do worry,” he said quietly.

“Don’t, please.” You patted his chest twice, a break. “Now, I believe we promised at least one of our children ice cream and I would hate to have a mutiny on our hands. We’re outnumbered two to one and I don’t need Reid to tell me those aren’t great odds.”

He laughed and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. “There’s no better partner to fend off hangry toddlers than you, darling.”

+++

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292 notes · View notes

twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

Text

Iron 7 (Peter Parker x F!Oc)

Words: 2, 323

Masterlist

Chapter 6

Post-credits scene (Iron man 1) / Chapter 8

2010

"It's unfair that I can't go," Lily complains, walking into the living room.

"You should get used to it," Jess says without taking her eyes off the television where they’re playing the replay of the grand opening of Stark Expo. "No one else can find out who your father is.”

Lily leans against the back of the chair where Jessica is.

“It’s unfair. My dad hasn't even said anything about going, lots of kids have fun there,” She sighs.

The screen highlights the dance of some women in small red shorts and tops, referring to the armor. And to Tony with a huge smile showing his great achievement.

"Even he has more fun than me,” She grimaces. "Although, I think he’s more cocky now than before…”

“Big word,” says Jess. "Stop complaining. Maybe one day, I can take you.”

"Seriously?"

"If your father lets us visit him for free, of course,” She turns to see her and smiles. “Now finish your homework.”

“Fine."

Lily returns to the table with all the homework that her math teacher left her after her private class. She expected to go to school like a normal girl, but Pepper and Tony insisted on hiring several teachers to visit her during the week. "We can't risk it," They said, much less when reporters and practically the whole world follows Tony in every move since he broke the news about the Iron Man.

She can’t complain, some subjects are fun and she advances very fast, if she were in a school, she wouldn't be able to do it. In addition to the private lessons she has some with Happy, she appreciates that too. It's fun to see Happy struggling to learn the subjects with her.

"Hey, Lily. You have to see this,” Jess says from the living room. Lily returns and this time sits on the couch to see her father in the Senate or the military committee. Obviously, television doesn't show everything, but enough to see that her father just makes fun of everyone, especially that businessman Justin Hammer.

"Very cocky.”

Both girls nod.

***

"And I also learned about worldwar-two, but Professor Edwards said it would take us longer to do our research because there is so much information," Lily informs walking next to Pepper.

"I'm glad you're enjoying your classes, honey," She says with a smile, but then sneezes.

"Are you sure you shouldn't be resting?" The worried girl asks.

"I'm fine, don’t worry.”

They both go down the stairs until they reach Tony's workshop. Pepper puts the combination and they enter. Lily, seeing Tony for the first time in a few weeks, runs towards him. Tony gets up from the chair and receives her with a hug, bending down to her height.

"You should also greet me this way, Pepper," Tony teases. Pepper rolls her eyes, but she can't help a smile at the cute image.

"Why didn't you wake me up when you arrived?" Lily asks as they part. She crosses her arms.

"I could hear your snoring outside,” He jokes. “No nightmares?"

"Didn’t have any this week.”

“Good, and enough waiting for me on the couch, last time you complained about back pain. Those complaints are not allowed until you’re fifty years old... or thirty, it depends,” He nods, ruffling the girl's hair making her laugh.

The moment ends when Pepper remembers why she was upset with Tony. Now they both walk around the workshop discussing things. Lily listens to them as she sits in the chair where Tony was. She frowns when she sees a brown box, but Pepper's comment distracts her.

"The Expo is a gigantic waste of time.”

“There’s nothing more important to me than the Expo,” answers Tony. “It’s my primary point of concern.”

"Hey!" Lily complains. “What about me? I’m your daughter! And you haven't taken me to Stark Expo yet, so unfair…” She says with a pout.

"What?" Tony says from the other side. “I'm sorry, kid. Grown ups talking here!" He answers by pretending not to have heard her.

Lily makes a face.

"The Expo is your ego gone crazy,” follows Pepper.

Lily stopped listening. Photos of boring cars on Tony's computers are more interesting than Pepper scolding her father. She only lifts her head when they return to the entrance. Tony trades a painting for an Iron Man painting. Then, suddenly, Tony appoints Pepper CEO of Stark Industries.

"Trying to figure out who a worthy successor would be,” says Tony over a few glasses of champagne, "and then I realized, well since she's only eight, she can't run a company,” He points out to the girl.

"Yet!" She yells from her place.

"It’s you. It's always been you.”

***

"I think I'm ready for that training," says Lily pulling the ropes of the ring in the middle of the room.

"Not yet, Smarty," Happy replies.

"But I'm eight now and I can outrun you.”

"Anyone can outrun Happy, kid," adds Tony.

"So why did you tell me to come if you won't let me train?"

“Watch us and learn.”

Lily makes a face. She’s getting tired of everyone forbidding her so many things.

It doesn't take long for Pepper to walk in asking Tony for a signature. Lily walks over to the white chair near Pepper. She sighs, she's about to complain to her, but the presence of another redhead interrupts her. She had never seen that woman and apparently she also distracts the two men.

"What’s your name, lady?" Tony asks

"Rushman. Natalie Rushman,” She introduces herself.

“Hi," greets Lily. Natalie looks at her with a smile.

"Wait, I thought no one should know about Stark Jr.'s existence,” Tony points out.

“She’s already signed a confidentiality contract. Don’t worry.”

Tony shrugs and invites Natalie into the ring. She obeys. Pepper sits on the couch next to Lily and Tony pulls her aside to sit on the same couch.

"Now she’ll be your assistant?" Lily asks. Pepper nods. “Wow, you used to be Tony's assistant, now you have one. I wish I had one,” She says.

"I want one of those too," says Tony. And with that, they argue again. Lily rolls her eyes, but something else interrupts her thoughts and the discussion.

Apparently Natalie is more than capable and better trained than Happy since she manages to throw him to the floor in one movement. The three of them get up from the couch.

"Happy," Pepper squeals.

Lily goes back up to the edge of the ring and smiles seeing how Happy gets up with difficulty. She raises her head to see Natalie.

"Cool! Can you teach me to do that?"

“Sure."

"Definitely not," Pepper and Nat say at the same time.

"Why not?" Lily frowns and steps out of the ring

The second redhead clears her throat, she puts on her shoes and talks to Tony about some documents. In the end, they finally finish the paperwork for Pepper to become CEO. Natalie leaves. Tony and Pepper start talking about a trip to Monaco.

"What? Are you going to travel again? You just arrived,” The girl complains, drawing their attention.

“It'll only be a couple of days, Lily," replies Pepper.

"That's what you always say.”

“Hey." says Tony. "It's a business trip, kid.”

"That too you always say,” She rolls her eyes. Pepper looks surprised, that's not how she used to act before. "Can I go this time? I can do my homework there.”

“Sorry, but no. Remember that you’re still a ghost." says Tony

She frowns.

"That's not fair. You always leave me here, I can't even go to a park and you don't let me accompany you, you’re hardly home anymore,” She says, raising her voice and causing a certain tingling to appear in her hands.

"Watch your tone, Lily,” says Tony starting to get annoyed. He looks down at the girl's clenched hands. "Turn that off, now.”

"Just this once, I promise to be good. If you want, I'll stay at the hotel,” She insists with a frustrated sigh. She opens her hands to avoid making a mess.

"I said no, young lady.”

"But-"

"Lily Stark, I said no,” Tony ends with a firm voice.

The little girl clenches her teeth and runs out of the place before they can see her cry from anger.

"Huh, it brought out your moody side too, Tony," Happy says from across the room.

Stark sighs.

"I'll talk to her when we get back.”

Pepper feels guilty. Maybe they’d been more absent since Tony announced the identity of Iron Man and now it’ll be worse because of the new job. She wants to follow her, but she knows better to leave her alone for a moment.

***

"Hey, you broke your record," Jess says, handing a bottle to the girl, who gasps. She takes it and sits on the chair next to the girl.

It's been a couple of hours since Lily started running through the gated area of the Stark property.

"Can we do something else?" Lily asks.

Jess takes out the notebook where the itinerary is written.

"I suppose we can rest for a while," Jess replies, taking off her sunglasses.

"You didn't do anything, what are you going to rest from?" Lily says with a smile.

"I can't be in the sun that long, I want to be tanned, not burned.”

"If you say so.”

After the break, Lily continued with her task, finishing earlier that she is used to. The rest of the day, they both decided to just relax with some masks that Jess had brought.

"Why do they smell funny?" Lily asks feeling the texture of her mask.

"That's coconut, you'll get used to it,” answers Jess. “Afterwards we’ll paint our nails, we’ll watch romantic movies while we eat ice cream. It’ll be fun.”

"Why are we doing this?"

"It's what some girls are used to doing when they are alone or with their friends.”

Lily nods. "Why?"

Jess laughs. At this point she’s already used to the onslaught of questions that she sometimes receives.

“It's fun, it's also girls quality time, you know, they talk about handsome people, the boys they like from school. It’s a distraction that sometimes we need, even from parents.”

Lily frowns.

"Do you need a distraction from your parents?"

“Okay,” Jess gets comfortable on the bed to sit in front of the girl. “Many times, especially when you’re a teenager, you argue with your parents and it’s normal. That’s why it’s good to have friends with whom you can vent. Trust me, if I didn't have my friends, my relationship with my mother would be a disaster. But it's not a bad thing,” She clarifies when she sees Lily's grimace. "Parents also need to get away from their children a bit.”

"Is that why Tony travels a lot?"

"I don’t think so. He’s an important businessman and he just wants to take care of you, that's why you should stay here.”

"It's not fair,” She crosses her arms.

“Yes, you should get used to that too. When you’re older it’ll be a little easier.”

Lily's head fills with more questions.

“Jess."

"Yeah?"

“We're friends?”

"Of course.”

"Can I vent to you about my dad?" Jess laughs.

"Tell me everything.”

They both talk about many things and do girlish stuff. Lily learns a few things as Jess tells her about her life as a student and everything she does when she’s not taking care of her. At one point, she wishes she had that life, but, even if she could go to normal school, she couldn't have all of that, at least not like Jess.

Night comes, Jess sleeps in the guest room leaving Lily in her room. The great Stark mansion is completely silent, the nightmares that had not tormented the girl for several months return and this time, they’re worse.

She’s on the floor of an empty room, the four walls are completely white. She doesn't see anyone else, but she knows someone is watching her. She wants to ask for help, she wants to scream, but no matter how much she opens her mouth, nothing comes out of her. Her torso and arms are trapped with a straitjacket. She tries to get out of it, but everything is useless.

The tickling starts in her hands, but this time she’s not in control and quickly spreads throughout her body. She wants to burn the straitjacket, but in the dream it’s not possible.

"Lily!"

The girl suddenly wakes up sitting on the mattress. She looks everywhere, but her mind is still in that empty room. She falls off her bed, but keeps moving until a wall stops her.

“Lily, it's okay! Quiet! You have to breathe…” Jess says in the dark.

“Don't!" screams Lily. Her chest rises and falls rapidly. "Please don't hurt me!” She sobs. “Please, please…”

"Lily, it's me!” The girl approaches the girl and touches her arm, but she removes it immediately when she feels the high temperature. Jess screams in fright, causing Lily to jump in place of her. "J.A.R.V.I.S, turn on the lights!” She orders and the AI obeys.

Lily blinks trying to focus her vision, when it happens, what she sees is another fear: Jess is in front of her looking at the blisters on her hand.

She had done that. Lily burned Jess.

Memories of when this happened with her mother come to her mind, causing her panic to escalate.

She doesn't hesitate twice to leave the room, ignoring Jessica's calls. She runs through the house, down the stairs and to the workshop. J.A.R.V.I.S lets her in and sets the code so that no one else could enter. Finally, Lily goes to one of Tony's cars and hides underneath it. She bends her legs and hugs them to her chest. The only thing that can be heard in the workshop are the uncontrollable sobs of the girl.

Taglist

If your username is crossed out it’s because Tumblr didn’t let me tag you, sorry. If you want to be removed from the taglist, you can tell us, we also make mistakes, lol

@stardusthigh @silenthappyplace @yourbonesareinmybody @aylauwuuniverse @tyb1 @skittles-skittles @hufflepuffzutara @poetryislife0715 @21bruhs

@just-here-to-escape-from-reality

@heavenlymistakes @lauramacch @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual

#Iron #peter parker fanfiction #Peter Parker #Peter Parker x Oc #Peter Parker x reader #Avengers #Avengers fanfic #Marvel #Marvel fanfic #Tony Stark #Lily Stark #Star! reader #Pepper Potts #James Rhodes #Iron Man 2 #Spider man #Iron man

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

Text

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch24: Like The Old Man Said…Together. Part 2- Walk It Off

Summary: The Avengers track Ultron and it’s a race against time before the AI can put his plan into action.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Bad language, Smut (NSFW) violence and crazy assed robots. Oh and “Something dramatic, I hope!”

A/N: This chapter now includes additional content! @angrybirdcr has done it again girrrrrl

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 24 Part 1

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

“Ultron knows we’re coming. Odds are we’ll be running into heavy fire, and that’s what we signed up for, but the people of Sokovia they didn’t. That’s why our priority is getting them out. All they want is to live their lives in peace, and that’s not going to happen today. But we can do our best to protect them and get the job done. We find out what Ultron’s been building. We find Romanoff. We clear the field and keep the fight between us. Ultron thinks we’re monsters, and that we’re what’s wrong with the world, but this isn’t just about beating him, it’s about whether he’s right.“

Steve certainly felt like he was right when he descended down the ramp and the first thing he saw was a huge mural of himself on a wall to his right. If he hadn’t been so concerned with the word, ‘fašista’ scrawled across it, he might have given some consideration to the fact the art work was pretty good. He looked at the painting, before turning and tossing his helmet back into the jet, almost hitting Katie as she walked down the ramp. Frowning she looked at him, spotted the paining and gave a sigh. She knew that would have upset him.

But whether they liked Captain America or not, the people of Sokovia were getting his help and that of the rest of the Avengers too. Thor and Bruce went underground to Strucker’s base to find Natasha and the Vibranium, Tony and Vision went off to locate where Ultron was and confront him so that Vision could do his part. The rest of them focussed on the evacuation, if this was going to end in a fight as it always did, then it was best to get the civilians out of the way as soon as possible. Steve dispatched Clint to a rooftop to oversee events from up there and Katie headed off with Wanda to the bridge that led out of the city. She could feel the younger girl’s panic even though she did well to try and hide it

"Do you see…the beauty of it? The inevitability. You rise, only to fall. You, Avengers, a meteor. My swift and terrible sword. And the earth will crack with the weight of your failure. Purge me from your computers, turn my own flesh against me. It means nothing. When the dust settles, the only thing living in this world will be metal.”

They seemed to be fighting forever, and Sokovia was getting higher and higher. Just as everything seemed lost and the group looked to be faced with an impossible decision after Tony pointed out that the only thing he could think about was blowing the city before the impact radius got too big. Steve was adamant he was not leaving the city with one civilian on it, when Katie smiled sadly and turned to him.

“I didn’t say we should leave.” She swallowed, and she could feel Natasha looking at her as well from where she stood on her right. Katie turned to Steve, as he looked down at her “There’s worse ways to go.” she said responding to his silent question, her chest heaving resigning herself to the fact that they might not make it out of this alive, surprised the thought didn’t frighten her more at that point.

“She’s right,” Natasha agreed, and Katie turned to look at her. She shrugged and nodded out at the clouds “Where else are we gonna get a view like this?”

“Glad you like the view, Romanoff.” All three of them started at the very familiar voice that came through the coms. “It’s about to get a whole lot better.”

That’s when the helicarrier came right into view and Katie smiled, her eyes filing with emotion as she felt the relief swell in her chest.

“So this is your ‘something dramatic’?” She quipped and Fury gave a hum of confirmation.

“Nice, right? Pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She’s dusty.” Nick Fury said nonchalantly. “But she’ll do.”

Katie looked round and noticed that Pietro had joined us, looking at the ship.

“Fury, you son of a bitch.” Steve spoke in almost a whisper while shaking his head.

Fury let out a whistle before responded to Steve teasingly. “Ohhh hooo, you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Their fight led them to protecting the Vibranium Core that was situated in a church which was in the dead centre of the City and of course Ultron followed them. As The Avengers surrounded their precious charge, Thor yelled out to the AI.

“Is that best you can do?”

Ultron picked his hand up, and what seemed like a million robots began to advance towards them.

Katie groaned, and looked at Steve as he turned to look at Thor, annoyance all over his face. “You haddda ask.” He deadpanned, his Brooklyn accent coming out as it often did in these situations, and Thor at least had the decency to look sheepish.

“This is the best I can do.” Ultron continued on. “This is exactly what I wanted. All of you against all of me. How can you possibly hope to stop me?”

“Well, like the old man said,” Tony stated, and Steve turned to look at him over his shoulder, “together.”

Hulk then let out a loud roar as the swarm of robots attacked.

The robots began running into the church by the hundreds it seemed, but everyone was ready. Arrows, fists and Steve’s shield flew, repulsors, guns and shock sticks fired, speed and red tendrils of power ripped them apart from the inside, lighting flashed and the Hulk smashed. Eventually Ultron joined the fray and Vision flew at him. Ultron punched Vision into the wall but he retaliated by using the mind stone in his forehead to shoot at Ultron making him stagger back and out of the church.

Vision didn’t let up as Thor, Tony and Katie joined the android with lightening and repulsor beams respectively. The Starks surged their arms forward, unloading all the power they had in their suits and the 4 of them combined melted away the outer layer of Vibranium that covered Ultron, which was when they stopped. He could be taken out easily now.

“You know, with the benefit of hindsight – ” Ultron began to say but Hulk roared then punched him so hard he went flying across the city.

Hulk growled at the remaining robots who immediately turned and ran away.

“They’ll try to leave the city.” Thor called out.

“We can’t let them, not even one.” Tony spoke frantically, calling on their other eye in the sky. “Rhodey…”

“I’m on it!” He announced over the radio. “Oh no, I didn’t say you could leave…War Machine coming at you.” there was a pause as Vision flew in to help, phasing and ripping one of them apart “Ok, what?”

“We gotta move out.” Steve spoke as those of them left on the ground re-grouped. “Even I can tell the air is getting thin. You guys get to the boats. I’ll sweep for stragglers…”

“I’ll come with you.” Katie said. For some reason she didn’t want to leave him, or more to the point him to leave her. Steve looked at her, and he understood, he really did. If there was a chance they were getting separated he really didn’t want to take it but he wanted her on that carrier, away.

“You go and make sure everyone gets out. I’ll be right behind you, I promise.”

He’d never broken a promise to her yet, so she took a deep breath and nodded.

“What about the core?” Clint asked while turning to look at it.

“I’ll protect it.” Everyone turned to Wanda, giving her a worried look. “It’s my job.” She clarified nodding to Clint. Clint inclined his head towards her, before he turned to leave.

“Nat.” He said as Steve started to usher everyone bar Wanda out of the church. I threw one last glance over at Wanda before Katie turned to Steve.

“Be careful.” “I always am.” He grinned.

“Liar.” She muttered watching him go, before she took off again, looking down at the devastation on the ground below. This was far worse than New York. Far worse than Washington. It was horrendous, and Katie wasn’t sure how the people of Sokovia would ever recover.

Clint skidded the car he had been driving to a halt by the lifeboats and Katie landed besides them. There was a roar and she glanced to her left, noticing the huge form of the Hulk throwing around debris of the various robots.

“We don’t have a lot of time.” Clint looked at Natasha meaningfully.

“So get your ass on a boat.” She shot back, jumping out of the car.

Clint and Katie then set off, ushering the last civilians around them onto the last boat as they went. Katie spotted Thor stood a little to her left, his head turned over to his right as Steve appeared from inside a building.

“Thor, I’m gonna need you back at the church.” Tony said over the coms.

Thor nodded despite the fact that he couldn’t see Tony and then looked at Steve, breathing heavily. "Is that the last of them?” He asked him.

“Yeah,” He answered instead, quickly looking around at the evacuations taking place, spotting Katie and Clint boarding the boat “Everyone else is on board the carriers.”

“You know, if this works, we maybe don’t walk away.” Tony mutterd quietly, cutting Katie out of the coms temporarily so as not to worry or upset her.

“Maybe not.” Thor agreed in a whisper.

At that point Clint sprinted back past them, but before either of them had time to follow him to help a hail of gunfire suddenly erupted where they standing. Steve held his shield up just in time and Thor dived to the side to avoid the bullets that had luckily been fired in a straight line between them all.

But it was Katie who noticed first what had happened. As the dust settled she saw Clint stood, with a little boy in his arms. He’d clearly tried to shield him from the bullets but it was Pietro that was standing there with bullet holes riddling his torso, the blood seeping through them.

“No.” She muttered her pleading growing more frantic as she flew over to where they were stood “No, no, no.”

“You didn’t see that coming?” The blonde man attempted to joke weakly then wobbled before falling face first and Katie caught him as she landed, just before he hit the ground. She laid him down gently and looked him over.

“FRIDAY, life signs.”

“Negative.” The AI’s voice was tinged with sadness.

Katie bowed her head slightly before my face plate slid back and she looked up at Clint. The pair of them exchanged a glance before Steve knelt down and closed Pietro’s eyes.

“I’ve got him.” He said gently, as he bent down and picked up Pietro as easily as if he was a small child. The three of them headed back to the airship, Clint with the little boy in his arms. Once on board, Steve lay Pietro down gently on the floor, where Katie sat by him, her suit making a clunk as she slid to the floor. Clint groaned as he lowered himself onto the row of seats behind her. Someone walked over to see if they needed any medical help but Clint waved him away.

“No, no I’m fine.” He groaned, lying down across a few seats, his hand resting on the metal shoulder of Katie’s suit. “Oh it’s been a long day…”

Steve stood on the rock for one final look round, he couldn’t see anyone. But then, with a lurch the city fell with huge force and he turned and gave a jump, grabbing onto the platform of the ship as the city fell. He pulled himself up onto the deck and stood up to see, lightning flashing from the sky. As he watched, the city of Sokovia exploded from the inside out crumbling to pieces and raining down heavily into the ocean below.

He turned to see Katie was stood a few feet away, looking down.

“Tony? Thor? Wanda?”

When none of them replied she looked over Steve, biting her lip.

“They’ll be okay.” He nodded, although he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince her or himself.

There was a slight lurch as the ship they were stood on docked with the hellicarrier and they turned to help Clint but he was already walking, carrying the body of Pietro with him. Katie jumped down onto the tarmac, deactivated her suit and made her way over to Maria Hill who was stood with another agent, directing them where to take the walking wounded, medics running onto the ships to deal with the more seriously injured in situ.

“You guys alright?” She asked as they walked over to her. Katie nodded and then spoke again into her coms. It was a relief to see Wanda’s red hair sat on the deck a few yards away from one of the ships, Vision having pulled her out of the city in time.

“Any news from the others?” Steve asked. Maria sighed.

“Natasha is on the bridge, Banner, I mean the Hulk, he got her out in time but…he went off in a jet after Ultron…I got nothing from Thor or Tony…”

Katie turned to look out over the sky, the airborne dust making her cough slightly as she scanned the clouds, waiting for a sign or anything from her brother.

“He’ll be fine.” Steve dropped a hand onto her shoulder. “He always is.” “One day he won’t be.” She turned and looked up to face Steve

“Maybe, but that aint today…” A familiar voice rang in her ear and she let out a sigh of relief as her brother spoke. “Kiddo, put the beer on ice, I think we just won again.”

*****

Refugees crowded every corner of the flying base, sitting in the halls, huddling together, terrified. The dust in the air meant SHIELD couldn’t connect to their mainframe or satellites, and the internet-based translators were down. Every person on board who knew even a smattering of any Slavic language was being recruited into helping settle the homeless Sokovians.

Fury was meeting via telecon in one of the conference rooms with the Sokovian political leaders, who were not pleased at being dragged from their homes in Novi Grad in the wee hours of the morning only to then watch their nation destroyed. So with Fury busy, Steve and Katie had to tell Tony about Bruce.

That hadn’t been fun at all. Her brother had struggled back to the helicarrier, with barely enough power left to make the landing, Thor hot on his tail, soaked to the skin and staggering with a nasty head wound. Steve helped him inside where he was led to a medic bay and they had all retreated to the comms room where Nat was stood in a corner, staring at a blank screen.

“Where’s Bruce?” Tony demanded as soon as he got his helmet off. “We’ve got to figure out…” He trailed off, seeing the expression on Katie’s face. Then his eyes flashed across to Natasha. The woman hadn’t moved a muscle in ten minutes, standing in a corner and staring straight at the wall, back to the rest of the room.

“Tony.” Steve’s voice was heavy. “He’s taken off. We can’t reach him.” “And I don’t think he wants us to.” Katie added. She had barely finished her sentence before Tony bolted across the room to the computer banks, heedlessly shucking off bits of his armour as he went.

“No.” He shook his head, fingers flying across the keyboards. “No, I can find him. I can do this, I can bring him home.”

“It was cloaked.” Natasha’s voice was very even, with absolutely no inflection. She didn’t stop staring at her wall. “Your own cloaking devices. And SHIELD’s secret tracker was disabled in the fight.”

Tony’s hand slipped, hitting a bunch of things Steve was sure he hadn’t meant to. Swearing hopelessly, he stared blankly at the useless screens.

“Why?” He demanded, very quietly, the furious brokenness in his voice made my heart ache for him. “Why would he…?”

The unfinished question hung heavy in the dusty air. Steve was the one who answered.

“Because,” he said, swallowing. “When you’re in the air, and you’re carrying something that will destroy everything you love, that’s all you can do. You do go down, and you take it down with you.”

Tony’s hands curled into fists, anguish in his snarl. “This isn’t the same as your golden boy sacrifice play, Cap. No bombs on that Quinjet.”

“No, no bombs.” Steve gently squeezed Katie’s shoulder as he noticed she’d been about to chastise her brother for his venomous jibe, and he shook his head softly as he dragged his gloves back on over his bruised and bloody knuckles, flexing his hands. “Just himself,” he finished quietly.

“Veronica failed, Tone.” Katie said gently, understanding at once what Steve was getting at, Bruce’s actions suddenly making sense. “He didn’t want to come to Sokovia and I guess, well he didn’t want to risk hurting anyone again, and he saw a way out.”

Natasha turned on her heel and pushed past them, her eyes wet as she made for the door.

“Nat.” Katie turned to watch her go. She shook her head, signalling she wanted to be alone as she left. Katie looked up at Steve who hung his head sadly.

But there wasn’t time to think on it. Fury arrived at that moment, clearly pissed at something. He explained to the group that after the explosion that tore Ultron’s plans to shreds, he had been set to take the helicarrier to a refugee camp in a nearby country but the Sokovian officials had refused, insisting they be set back down in what was left of Novi Grad. Steve nodded and told Fury to do as they wanted.

“This wouldn’t have happened if it hadn’t been for us.” Steve’s jaw was set, and his arms folded. “We owe it to them Fury, like it or not.”

Fury hadn’t liked it, at all, but he didn’t have much say in the matter - not when Steve had that look on his face.

“This isn’t going to be nice.” Steve muttered as the pod had descended back to the ground.

“I know.” Katie said. “But we face it together, right?”

Together they strode off the pod, not really knowing where to start. Novi Grad was an absolute mess. Most of the city had been torn up by the roots, and the rim that was left hadn’t escaped unscathed either. Buildings had toppled from falling debris and the initial ground-shaking wrench. Water and electricity were out, phone lines were down, and the streets were clogged with cars and people. Children choked on the thick air as parents tied whatever cloth they could find around tiny mouths, trying to protect their lungs.

It was thankless, numbing work. Most of the civilians avoided them, casting wary glances out of the corner of their eyes. A few swore or spat, some cried, but after a while it began to get difficult as a particular group started to get violent, screaming as they threw things at the four Avengers. It didn’t cause much damage to the Nova or Iron Man suits, but the rocks soon started getting bigger. Katie heard a yell and turned to her left to see Steve stumbling forward, hand clamped over the back of his head. He fell to his knees and Katie moved over to him, dropping besides him.

“Shit.” He mumbled as she heard Thor give a roar.

“Let me see.” Katie looked at him and Steve winced, shaking his head.

“I’m fine.” He got to her feet, hand still clutching at the back of his head.

Katie glanced up at Tony, who had completely lost his patience.

“Ungrateful brats,” he snapped loudly after the young hooligans who had immediately scarpered after Thor’s show of anger. “Look, why don’t you head back to the carrier, see what the next step is?” Tony curled his gauntlet clad hand over Steve’s shoulder as his face plate retracted. Katie looked at her brother, thankful for his suggestion.

Steve shook his head, but even as she did so she saw him sway a little.

“Sweetheart, you’re bleeding.” She whispered gently, and he looked at his hand. “At least let’s clean you up.”

Steve didn’t want to go, but he gave into her as she whispered “Please.”

“Five minutes,” he relented at last, and allowed her to lead him away.

*****

As Katie shed her suit, Steve sat on a chair in one of the hellicarrier kitchens, one of the few rooms that wasn’t being used as a makeshift hospital or treatment bay. There were no spare medics so Katie grabbed some gauze, antiseptic and a couple of steri-strip bandages. He would heal pretty fast anyway.

“You know you should have had your helmet on.” She said gently, suddenly realising he hadn’t had it on for the entire time they had been in Sokovia having tossed it back on the jet when he saw the graffiti picture of himself when they first landed. He shrugged and didn’t reply, but he flinched hard when Katie lightly touched the lump at the back of his head.

“Sorry…” she said gently as he waved away her apology, head bent as she cleaned the blood off his hair.

“Doesn’t hurt as much as what they were calling me.” He mumbled, and Katie paused.

“Which was what? I didn’t hear them.”

“Fašista.” He shrugged. “Fascist.” His shoulders slumped and sudden angry tears stung at Katie’s eyes, but she blinked them back and swallowed the hot anger swelling in her throat. This was a man who had put his life on the line countless times to fight the very things that people were calling him. She leaned forward, slipping my arms around his neck, connecting them in front of his chest as she bent to lay her face against his cheek.

“At the risk of sounding like an old man, everybody’s so young these days,” Steve said at last as he turned his head to face her “Has it all been forgotten, or have I really become…?”

Katie cut him off, her eyes on his, faces inches apart. “They’ve forgotten,” she assured him firmly. “You know those people, they can’t begin to imagine how things were back then. I find it hard at times and that’s after you told me so much. We never lived through it, never knew what it was like. History books and lessons can only do so much, Love.”

Steve’s fingers laced between hers. “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” he whispered heavily.

"But that’s why there are people like us, people like you. You will always remember, and because you do, you help us do our best to keep the rest of them safe.”

She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before she straightened up and continued to tend to the wound on his head. It wasn’t as deep as it had looked and was already starting to heal. She checked to make sure there were no fragments of the brick left behind and when she was satisfied she dropped the bloodied gauze into a bin and turned to face him.

"I shouldn’t have taken Banner.” He said, and Katie took a deep breath “I knew he was low, but he said he wanted to come, he wanted to help find Nat.”

“You can’t blame yourself for his choice,” Katie reminded him. “He’s a grown man…” Steve didn’t say anything more about it, instead he stood up and took a deep breath. “Come on, let’s go see what’s happening.”

*****

It took almost two days for relief services to arrive at Sokovia. Steve felt dirty, tired and desperate for a hot shower and his own bed and he wasn’t alone. None of The Avengers had changed in 2 days. All their extra equipment had gone on the missing Quinjet with Bruce, including the change of civilian clothing everyone tried to keep on hand. But their discomfort paled into insignificance when he glanced over at Wanda as they landed at the tower. Katie guided her up to the spare room, ensured she had what she needed and then instructed her if she needed anything else, all she had to do was ask Friday, who would contact her immediately. Wanda nodded and Katie left her to be a lone for a while.

When Katie got back to her floor Steve was already in the shower, and the bed had never looked so inviting, which was why she couldn’t wait to get into it. Stripping off her filthy cat suit and her underwear she walked into the bathroom which was filled with steam and stepped into the shower behind Steve, her hands straying round to the front of his chest and she pressed a kiss to the back of his shoulder, laying her head against his back. He didn’t flinch, he simply grasped her hands in his, pulling her closer and dipped his head slightly as she nuzzled into his shoulder, the grime from the last few days whirling down the plug hole as the water rained down on them. Without speaking, Katie grabbed his shampoo, and gently as she could massaged at his hair. Steve gave a soft moan, relishing at the feel of her nails on his scalp, happy to bliss out for a moment. He turned to face his future wife, tipping his head back to rinse his hair off and smiled tiredly as he dropped his head to kiss her softly.

“Turn round.” He said gently, and she did as she was told as his hands wound into her hair, repaying the favour. She leaned back into his touch, the intimate moment also serving as a perfect relaxer so much so that she didn’t object when things started to get a bit heated. This was always how things went with them both, they sought solace in one another, the physical relief of losing themselves with someone they loved was how they coped, how they stayed grounded, reminded themselves that they weren’t alone.

His hands travelled down her body, her back pressed to his chest as his fingers reached between her legs, finding her spot. She moaned, arching back into him as his other hand caressed her breast, his arousal pressing into the lower part of her back and she lazily rolled her head to catch his mouth. As the hot water cascaded down onto them he took her to the brink before he spun her round and lifted her easily, pressing her back onto the cool tiles. He thrust into her without warning and she groaned, her hands gripping his shoulders as he began to pump in and out, his head falling to her collar bone as he gave a soft nip. With each roll of his hips Katie felt her pleasure beginning to mount, soft moans falling from her lips as she dropped her head to his shoulder, the feeling in her stomach beginning to overwhelm her.

“Look at me, Doll” he said gently, and she opened her eyes, emerald gems locking onto his as he saw her mouth open, lips part in a soft cry as she came, a deeper groan bubbled over in her throat and her head slid backwards. Steve would never get tired of seeing her like that, ever. It was the most arousing thing in the world to him. His pace began to quicken and he followed shortly, the tight bands in his stomach snapping as he pressed her harder against the wall as he rode out his release.

When they had finally finished in the shower the pair of them were almost dead on their feet. They dried off, Katie shucked on one of Steve’s T-shirts and clambered into bed with him. Neither had any idea what time of day it was but neither cared, the blackout blinds sent the room into darkness. Katie lay her head on Steve’s chest, his hand slid up the cotton of his shirt and he gently ran his fingers up and down her spine.

He managed to do it about twice before the pair of them were out for the count.

***** They both had nightmares that night. Katie woke first, gasping for air as she relived the moment on that rock where she had thought for one horrible moment they were done for, until Fury had shown up. After getting her a glass of water, Steve had held her until she’d fallen asleep, waked from a bad dream which, for some reason didn’t seem to take him anywhere near Sokovia. Instead, he was back at that moment he plunged into the ice.

And the dreams continued for them both for the next few nights. Katie’s were always the same, but Steve’s persistently catapulted back in time to various points during the war. It was unnerving for him but mostly, they were just that, bad dreams…until one night, for the first time he could remember, he suffered a full scale hallucinating night terror.

Having actually managed to sleep soundly so far that evening, the first Katie knew something was wrong was when Steve was pinning her down against the mattress and shielding her from something.

“Steve.” She croaked gently, blinking the sleep from her eyes. He didn’t respond other than to simply flatten himself against her further, right arm curled around her head.

“Stay down,” he ordered firmly.

“What’s going on?” She asked softly, still coming round from the sleep he had roused her from.

“Air strike, men in the hall.” He said, turning to her. "I’ll head for the door, cause a distraction. You get to the bathroom, get in the tub, cover your head.”

She listened intently, then realised what he had said. Air Strike. He must have been dreaming he was back in the war again. She let out a breath and relaxed, reaching up to take his face in her hands.

“Stevie, nobody’s there. Everything’s quiet.”

“You can’t hear them?” He looked at her frowning.

“Sweetheart, do you trust me?”

He nodded. “With my life, you know this Katie…”

“Baby, I promise you - there’s no air raid, nobody in the hall.”

For a moment, Steve just stared at her, his face wracked with confusion. Then, swallowing hard, he closed his eyes. After a moment he raised his head to look around before his face fell back on hers as her thumbs gently moved in long arcs down the sides of his face.

“Steve?”

With a shuddering breath, he pulled himself up, reaching for his shield by the bedroom door. Picking it up he listened for a moment before throwing the door open and he walked out into the hallway. Katie sat in bed listening to the sound of various other doors being opened and shut as he meticulously swept the whole of their floor, checking windows and closets until he ended up back in their room.

His back and chest were both glistening with sweat. He looked at her, his eyes wide before he went into the en-suite and she heard the tap running and the sound of water being splashed against what she assumed was his face. She gave him a few minutes before she followed him, where he was stood leaning forward, forehead pressed to the mirror, chest and shoulders heaving.

“Stevie…” she said gently, as she slipped both her arms round his waist, pressing a kiss to his bare, clammy shoulder. Her touch seemed to do the trick as he took one deep breath and turned to face her.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked his eyes looking at her as the palms of her hands spread across his lower back.

“Of course not.”

He wrapped his arms around her and she lay her head on his chest and felt his heartbeat as it gradually evened out. Neither of them spoke for a while.

“Your dreams, they’re getting worse.” Katie said gently.

“It’ll get better.” He finally managed. “You know it’s been bad before. It will fade after a while.”

Katie knew from experience that everyone dealt with traumatic experiences differently. For example, Tony suffered panic attacks and went completely off the rails post both his soiree in the Afghanistan cave and New York. She tended to take a lot of things as they came and worry about them for a while but after screaming and crying would then give herself a kick up the ass to either change things or deal with them. Steve’s worry seemed to manifest itself two fold. He would either be suffering from the inability to stay calm and therefore would exercise, pounding out frustrations on either the pavement or the punching bags. And then there was this, the nightmares. Normally Katie would wake with his jostling but if she didn’t, he would always shake her awake if he needed her, as that was the agreement they had. She would then help him back to sleep either by talking or they would engage in some other un-coventional means of therapy until both of them were spent and satiated enough to return to slumber.

Katie gently took his hand and led him out of the bathroom turning off the light. As they reached the bed he waited until she was in it, pulling the duvet up over her before snagging a pillow and turning to go.

"Where do you think you’re going?”

He shrugged. “Thought I’d camp out on the couch. I don’t want to keep you awake.”

“No way…” She said, throwing back the duvet “Come on.”

He sighed and climbed in as she opened her arms for him to settle his head on her chest, gently stroking his hair as he swallowed, his breathing steadying as her touch soothed him.

“Where were you this time?” she asked

“Azzano… I think.” He sighed “To be honest with you, I saw so many things, the dreams now…they all blur into one.”

“You wanna talk about it?” He took a deep breath. “It was just loud, and I was in a building and I couldn’t get out. It was so real. When I woke up I knew where I was. I knew who you were, but I just…I dunno…”

They lay in silence, Katie continually stroking his hair as he nuzzled into her closer. She kissed the top of his head and was pleased when about 10 minutes later she heard his breathing start to lower and his head became heavy. He had managed to drift off.

*****

The next night he woke with a start, but that was it. There was no walking or hallucinating, he merely woke from a bad dream and climbed out of bed for a glass of water. When he came back, there was no talking, but he sought solace in his girl in another way, his lips kissing her hard, his hands reaching out and roving over every bit of her body he could find and he fucked her, hard, losing himself completely. They lay afterwards, sweaty foreheads pressed together and Katie simply held him close as they both came round. Eventually he moved off, pulled her to him and they fell asleep, limbs tanged around one another, his hold tight.

The next few nights he was peaceful, and Katie was hopeful that the terrors had passed, but then, four nights after the first incident he broke his hand.

Captain America could put his fist through a two-by-four with nothing worse than slightly reddened knuckles - but Steve Rogers’ hand hadn’t been in a fist. Katie had woken to his hoarse cry of “Buck!!!”, in time to see his outstretched, fingers slamming straight through the plasterboard and into a metal stud in the wall as he flailed out of bed, reaching for a man who had fallen some seventy years earlier.

Katie scrambled over the bed like a shot as he was yelling out for Bucky again and again as he knelt among scattered pieces of plaster and wood, his left arm buried inside the wall up to the shoulder.

"Steve,” she tried, but he didn’t respond, eyes fixed in a thousand-yard stare, face crumpled with an agony that was more than physical, breath hitching and ragged. She felt the tears spring into her eyes and she was just about to ask FRIDAY to send Tony to help when she heard the door to their penthouse burst open and a few moments later Thor strode into the bedroom dressed in a pair of black sweatpants, hammer in his hand.

“I heard the Captain yell, and…” he trailed off as he took in the situation at a glance and then crouched next to Katie.

“He’s dreaming…” She said gently, “He’s dreaming about Bucky, his friend, falling…”

Thor frowned absently, brushing his fingers across the captain’s temples as though he was trying to work out a problem. Then abruptly, he rose and was gone, moving almost silently through the darkness.

Whilst he was gone, Katie managed to gently work Steve’s arm out of the wall. His broken hand lay twitching in her lap and she was horribly aware that they would need to set the bones before they healed wrong. Thankfully, Thor wasn’t gone long, and he was not alone when he returned, hand firm around Wanda’s shoulder. The girl’s eyes were wide and her hair was tangled - obviously she had been sleeping.

“Thor,” Katie began to protest as she glanced round at Steve. The last thing he would want would be to come back to reality in the middle of some kind of impromptu party.

Thor held up a hand, pausing her even as he turned his full attention to Wanda

“Do you see?” he asked gravely. “Do you understand now what The Vision told you?”

Trembling, Wanda shook her head even as she went to her knees beside Steve. He was still unresponsive, but his breathing was beginning to laboriously even out and Katie knew he was fighting for control. She started to sweep her hand up and down his back in long, firm strokes in the hope it would bring him back round.

Thor knelt too, sounding as though he were some kind of instructor. “When you allowed Stark’s fears to work against him,” he began patiently, “you found his weakness and dug deep.”

Wanda nodded slowly.

“Our Captain carries a grievous burden as well,” Thor continued, “He has been sorely wounded and works to heal, but your incautious workings have torn his memories open.”

“Thor…” Katie shook her head gently as a horror stricken look crossed Wanda’s face.

“I am sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know. How can I fix it?”

For the first time, Thor hesitated. “My brother would have known,” he admitted in a low voice. “He had the skill, when it pleased him to use it.” He paused again, and then continued, hesitating slightly. “You must consider carefully, and proceed as seems good to you.”

Biting her lip, Wanda looked up at Katie, her stricken eyes locked onto hers.

“If you can, remind him where he is,“ Katie said gently. “Just bring him round?”

Hesitantly, uncertainly, Wanda pointed and curled her fingers before Steve’s face and closed her eyes. Tendrils of red light flickered from her hands to his temples, and Katie tensed involuntarily. For a moment, nothing happened. Then Steve’s eyes flew open, and his uninjured hand darted up faster than sight to lock around Wanda’s wrist, breaking the connection. She squeaked, startled, and froze.

“Steve…” Katie touched his arm causing him to flinch. It took him a second and then he seemed to realize where he was and what was going on. He let go of Wanda’s wrist, and looked around at Katie, then Thor hovering behind the young Sokovian, and finally the familiar surroundings of their bedroom. Eventually he looked back at Wanda for a long moment before nodding once.

"Thanks.”

A tear slid down her cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely. “I tried to put everything back in place, but I don’t know how.”

“Can’t fix everything,” he assured her, with a twisted smile. His old Brooklyn accent came out very strong in this unguarded moment. “And I wouldn’t wantcha t’ try. There’s things in my head you shouldn’t ever hafta see.”

Wanda wrapped both her arms around herself. Her eyes still looked haunted. “He was like your brother, wasn’t he?” she quavered.

Steve bowed his head as Thor dropped a gentle arm round her shoulders.

“We have all lost brothers,” he rumbled, looking at her. “We know your pain. You do not face this alone.”

Katie could feel Steve was quivering, exhausted beyond words though he wouldn’t show it for the world, and all she wanted to do in that moment was to bind up his hand and then put him to bed. As she looked up to suggest to the others they might want to go she was surprised to see Wanda had squared her jaw with determination and she reached out once more.

“I can fix this, at least.”

Steve’s hurt hand suddenly glowed with red fire. He jumped, surprised, and then watched with fascination as the crooked fingers began re-align themselves. When the bones were straight again, the fire flickered out, and Wanda staggered to her feet to go, Thor right behind her.

“You ok for a moment?” Katie asked Steve and he nodded. She followed the two of them into the hall and gave a short groan as she saw the door that led to the stairs (which were never used) had been completely kicked off its hinges.

“Sorry.” Thor said, picking up the heavy door “I heard the screams and…well, I didn’t know what was going on.” “Just prop it up as best you can…I’ll let you out in the elevator.”

He propped it up, and dragged the sofa over towards it for good measure.

“I really am sorry…” Wanda whispered, tears in her eyes.

“I know, and so does he.” Katie said, giving her a hug. “He will be fine…” Her attention then turned to Thor as she gave the God a hug. “Thank you.” “Any time Little Stark.” He breathed into her hair, before the 2 of them stepped into the elevator.

Katie looked around, trying to think about how they could explain a broken door plus a hole in the wall to Tony, then she realised she didn’t care. She headed into the kitchen, rummaging through the first aid kit for an elastic bandage to keep his fingers straight and wrapped up safely whilst his fast healing worked its magic.

He was sat on the side of the bed when she re-entered the room, his injured hand cradled in his other.

“Here…” she said, and she gently took his hand as he surrendered to her ministrations.

“Is Wanda ok?” he asked gently.

“Yeah, but I’m more concerned about you.” she said, laying his hand down gently onto my lap. “Baby…” “I’m sorry.” He whispered softly, laying his head against hers.

“What for?” “This…for scaring you?” “Stop it.” She looked at him sternly “I love you, you idiot, I just want you to be ok.” “I will be…” he smiled softly, his lips catching hers “Given time.”

The next day, Katie dragged Steve out for a walk in Central Park, but first she spoke to Tony about the door and the wall. He was surprisingly sympathetic, and didn’t mention the issue to Steve once. By the time Steve and Katie returned home that afternoon both were fixed, the only evidence any repairs had taken place was the smell of fresh paint and plaster which lingered in the apartment for a few days. What thankfully didn’t linger further were Steve’s night terrors. Katie didn’t know what it was that Wanda did, but his bones healed straight and it seemed that his mind had healed somewhat straight too. Whilst he persisted with the odd bad dream, they were getting less and less frequent, and there was no repeat of the two hallucinations he had suffered which was a relief to her, as she knew with time and patience and rest, the dreams would stop as well.

**** Chapter 25

**Original Posting**

#stark spangled banner #steve rogers #Katie Stark #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers smut #chris evans #chris evans characters

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

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Have you read the short story Norvell Page wrote as a wedding present for a Big Name Fan about Dick and Nita's first meeting? Any thoughts on it? My main is that Page does not go where you expect him to based on that description.

I did! Actually it was one of the first Spider stories I read. And yeah, to an extent, it's absolutely not what you'd expect from something set in The Spider's world. And on the other hand, it's absolutely what makes the most sense for these two characters. Because, yeah, Norvell Page could have done what he usually does, and written some over-the-top action where Dick and Nita happen to meet during it.

But no, that wouldn't work. Because, for all the turmoil and chaos in The Spider, for everything that he and Nita go through, there are many times when, sturdier even than Dick's resolve is their love for each other, the deep understanding and affection that carries them through hell itself time and time again.

And so, when it was time to showcase how such a romance started, Page wisely deviated from his usual narrative style, and instead told a very, very intimate and personal story, a long and extended conversation between the two, and more importantly, between Page and the reader. Between The Spider, and You, peering into The Spider through the eyes of Nita van Sloan.

I think for a start, it's an interesting coincidence that this meeting takes place on a cruise ship, and it involves Dick rescuing Nita from suicide. I say this because Margo Lane's first meeting with Lamont Cranston, in the pulps, was stated to have taken place on a cruise ship, and of course, the first time we see The Shadow in the pulps, he's rescuing Harry Vincent from suicide, and both Harry and Margo are The Shadow's main supporting characters. I'm not saying it was intentional, but it's an interesting fact. And more so because Dick doesn't really rescue Nita.

Her scarf whipped in the wind on deck, and it blinded her... and a hand touched her arm, and a voice spoke to her.

"If it's intentional, don't let me stop you," the voice said, "but you're heading straight for suicide."

Nita looked then at the stop toward which, blindly, she was going, and it was a chain barrier beyond which was the sea. And she looked at the man who had stopped her and it was Richard Wentworth. And his words had been a shock to her.

"You wouldn't try to dissuade me from suicide?" she asked.

Wentworth's brows were tilted whit a hint of mockery, but his eyes were very grave. "Every man is master of his own soul, and hence of his body," he said. "And your eyes are wide open and awake. So it would be a considered action. I'm not sure, under those circumstances, that I would have a right to meddle in another's business."

Nita said, "I think you can help me."

Wentworth shook his head. "Only you can help yourself," he said, "but it may be that someone else could help you find the way."

The whole text is a great example of how wonderfully realized of a character Nita van Sloan is in ways so unlike the typical pulp or superhero girlfriends at the time, because the text is written from her perspective, and half of the text reads like an extended character breakdown of who Nita is as a character and person. And the other half of the text is almost entirely comprised of Dick Wentworth spouting philosophy and talking in-depth about his reading of her and what's upsetting her, talking about God and fate and so on. And like so many other attempts to explore serious theological/psychological/philosophical/etc concepts explored through pulp fiction, half of it is bullshit, and half of it is fascinatingly disturbing and thought-provoking bullshit.

"Self-contempt," Wentworth's words were very quiet now. "Is second only to self-pity among the greater sins. Self-analysis is a dangersous thing. You need so much charity. And any person who is advanced enough to think about himself at all is apt to be over-stern in his judgment of himself."

He said to her, "If you don't honor youself, who will honor you?" And, a few moments later, "There is conceit in ruling others, but none in mastering yourself." And, "There is no arrogance so great as self-righteousness."

Nita clashed with him violently, "You are being self-righteous in judging me!"

Wentworth laughed. "I am speaking only truism. It is you who judge yourself, not I." He was serious, then. "My dear," he said, "I would be presumptuous to try to teach you. No man can teach another. But one who has been along that same trail would be less than a man if he failed to mark certain signposts and certain places where there is water to drink so that another, traveling that same road, may know where another struggled and what he has learned. But, as no man can travel a road for another, so no man can teach another. You must work out your own salvation."

"That sense of separation between the inner and outer self," Nita rushed on, "between yourself and the world ... while you were talking, I could almost feel that difference disappearing. The feeling is gone now, but ..."

"All progress is three steps forward and two back," Wentworth said, slowly, "and this is good because thus all ground is three-times covered and triply learned."

And I should probably clarify by this point that, it's not so much Dick Wentworth talking in this story, as it's Norvell Page himself. In fact, he admits as much in another letter he had sent to his readers that he was prone to talking philosophy by this point.

There was a time when the burden of writing just one more Spider seemed too much to undertake. (After all, the magazine is in it's ninth year!) But I never feel that way any more. I know now that the Spider actually does help people; that there are those who appreciate his idealism even though it is expressed in violence.

Especially in the last half dozen Spiders, beginning with the 100th I believe, I have tried very earnestly to teach a little of the philosophy and faith, of which we all need so much in these days.

Here's the thing about The Spider: It's not that the character is mad. Well, okay, he IS mad, I don't pull these over-the-top maniacal cartoon meme descriptions out of thin air, but that's because he lives in a batshit insane disaster horror world where there IS no sane response other than joining the carnage to overcome it. It's not just that Wentworth who is a madman. It's that Norvell Page was a mad man, and Dick Wentworth was Norvell's Page alter-ego, by the man's own admission.

Friends have informed me that I moved about the company as one in a trance: there were some who were concerned about my health, so oddly did I behave. Of course, only my body attended that occasion. My mind was entirely engrossed in Dick Wentworth's big problem - back in my study on a sheet of paper stuck in my typewriter

I did not dream that night; in the morning I restlessly paced my floor thinking, thinking, thinking. I sat down at the typewriter, stared at the words and the keys. Suddenly, as if by magic, Dick Wentworth seemed to move of his own volition. My hands raised, my fingers literally flew over the keyboard.

No matter how ridiculous it seems, I will always feel that Dick Wentworth, creature of my own fabrication, guided me through that tough scene.

No two people can live together without being influenced by each other to some extent. So constantly has Wentworth been in my mind, it is as if we were roommates - partners in everything.

Page has talked about how close of a connection he feels to the character, about many ways he's emulated his mannerisms, even some pretty embarassing anectodes where he claims to have "accidentally" used the character's "indomitable will" to scare waiters or drawing connections between The Spider's cast and real people he's met. Others who met him remarked that he talked of the "Spider" characters as though they were members of his family, or drinking companions.

Even before I got into The Spider, I had heard of rumors that he used to present or discuss stories in his office by putting on a cape and jumping from desk to desk, swinging a yard stick in his hand, and I can't find any source that confirms it, but I don't doubt it in the slightest. A lot of pulp writers had really weird lives, and Page was no exception. He was a journalist who frequently dug into his newspaper clippings for grisly stories to incorporate into narratives. I mean, just look at the dude's eyes, he's seen some shit.

When he was 3, his mother fell down a manhole while they were walking down a Chicago sidewalk. Norvell, terrified, thought she had dissappeared and never quite got over the experience.

When he was a little older, according to some family members, his parents had tickets for the Titanic and escaped disaster when Norvell begged them to cancel the trip for reasons unknown.

Norvell again played a hand in the family's escaping disaster when, one Christmas the family home caught on fire. Candles on the tree had been left burning. He quite arguably saved everyone's life. Waking first, he threw his mattress out of his window, grabbed his infant brother and sister and ran screaming through the hall as he went back to jump to safety. His screams woke his parents who then jumped to the mattress themselves.

Norvell lied about his age and experience to the Norfolk "Observer", claiming to have been writing for Richmond's "Times Dispatch" and was hired there.

His father managed Thomas Edison & Hugo Wurlitzer's ad accounts, and had always encouraged him to write, envisioning him as another Poe, whom his Great-Uncle had worked with as an editor

It is rumored that, in NYC, while at the "World Telegram", he became involved in fellow editor Varion Fry's effort to rescue artists and scientists from occupied Europe. President of the American Fiction Guild, he edited their newsletter for some time. Among his closest friends were fellow writers Ted Tinsley and L. Ron Hubbard and Surrealist painter Max Ernst.

WRITER'S REVIEW 35.08: Norvell W. Page, whose bloodthirsty Spider novels would do justice to Ghengis Khan, demonstrated his bloodlust the other day by accidentally killing a sparrow.

He wrote until 1943, when he abruptly stopped without warning. He dissappeared, for all intents and purposes, from both New York, the arts world and the pulp world for good.

His wife of 20 years, Audrey, had died and this, along with the U.S. involvment in WWII, led to his returning to VA where he would go on to be an intelligence worker in the Truman, Kennedy and Eisenhower Administrations.

He died suddenly of a heart attack in August of 1961.

Surviving family members do not know where he is buried.

I think this is a story that Page might have told differently had he written it earlier in his career, before he got tired, before he underwent his depression and loss of weight that caused him to briefly stop writing pulps all together, in a time period before the World War had cast an oppressive miasma on the world. In a time period where most of the horrifying nightmares he infused into the stories were really just that, nightmares, that he didn't live long enough to see turn into prophecies.

Because that's another thing about The Spider that makes the character more than just a batshit vigilante: As over-the-top as the stories were, a lot of them also inevitably turned out to predict some form of catastrophe in real life.

Written with an eye to the horrors festering in Germany at the time, The Mayor of Hell now reads as an infernal vision of the Homeland Security Act.

The poisoned products found in The Red Death Rain and The Pain Emperor call to mind the Tylenol killings of the summer of 1982, and the hundreds of poisoned products cases that followed.

Bio-terrorism plays large in the Spider mythos, with bubonic plague in Wings of the Black Death, rabies in The Mad Horde, and cholera in The Cholera King foreshadowing the Anthrax scare of 2001. The same could be said of the terror gases from Kingdom of Doom and Green Globes of Death and the nerve gas attack in the Tokyo subways in March of 1995.

Masters of the Death Madness unfolds as a nightmare meditation upon suicide, which has become one of the principal weapons of modern terrorists. One scene involves suicide bombers.

Another scene chillingly presages the Jonestown massacre of 1978: a grand procession lines up to drink from a bowl of poisoned wine while surrounding gunmen pick off anyone who refuses to drink.

The modern reader will recognize the psychological and sociological effects of a citizenry living under the threat of terrorism, so chillingly evoked by Page: the grating loss of safety, the imminent threats lurking in familiar objects, the way security can no longer be taken for granted, the kind of skittishness that empties a building at the first sign of an unknown white powder.

The eeriest of all the modern terrorist parallels appears in a novel called The City Destroyer, originally published in 1936. It features a set piece involving the collapse of a fictitious gigantic building, supposedly the tallest in New York City, called “The Sky Building.” When it fell, it wiped out five city blocks and claimed 1,000 lives. And perhaps it’s worth noting a further parallel that occurred in the 1970’s, when Pocket Books tried to revive the Spider; they repackaged him in a paperback series, striving for an image of what was then cool and thrusting Richard Wentworth into a contemporary setting.

When Pocket Books reprinted and updated The City Destroyer in 1975, the collapse of the Sky Building was replaced with the collapse of the World Trade Center - Stuart Hopen's essay on The Spider

Regardless of how much reality Page was infusing into his stories (because, again, he took a lot of his material from newspapers) or how much he foresaw intentionally or not, writing The Spider definitely took it's toll on him, and as the magazine neared it's final stretch with him on the helm, certain parts did began taking a more philosophical or religious tone, as more of Page's own beliefs, more of Page's attempts to use it as a vehicle to do good, began to bleed through the page.

And ultimately I think that's also what the story of Dick and Nita's first meeting is about, sort of an extended analysis not just of Nita, who Page himself said was a character he conceived as "the epitome of womanhood" and everything he thought admirable about it, but also of Wentworth's own character, and the things Page wanted to get through in his time.

Religion crept deeper into the series with each succeeding year. By all accounts, Norvell Page was a man of deep faith and spirituality who just happened to be writing the exploits of a hero whose idea of mercy was a bullet in the brain instead of the stomach.

In the 100th novel, Death and The Spider, Wentworth battles Death itself - or so it seems - and on Christmas Eve, he is shot so badly while protecting the President from assassination that everyone believes he's dead - including himself.

Dead or not, he forces himself to fight on, sustained only by reciting the 23rd Psalm over and over again.

Nita laughed and accepted a cigarette. "I don't know how to thank you."

"Don't," Wentworth's voice was sharp. "I told you I am only a channel. Don't confuse me with the Source."

It stopped words on Nita's lips, and it gave here a new respect and a new and sudden attitude toward this man beside her, this man who could laugh and jest with everyone about him, and who could teach like a very oracle ... and who carried about him such a sense of dedication to high purpose. He might seem apart from the world, but he was utterly and completely of it.

Nita said, half-laughing, half-serious, "May I like you? And may I admire your ... adjustment?"

"Don't envy my adjustment," he grinned at her. "Have one yourself." He snapped flame to her cigarette with his lighter, and his lean, strong hand was steady and sure as his eyes, as his voice. He was speaking to her but he was looking at the lighter. "I have found my mission," he said quietly.

#pulp heroes #the spider #nita van sloan #pulp fiction #norvell page #it's pretty much impossible to talk about the spider without sounding like a pulp writer yourself

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