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maggotzombie · 4 years

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ROOMIES: two. lovers.

→ CHAPTERS LIST – ONE. INTRODUCTIONS. WORD COUNT: 4,1k

TWO MONTHS later and the trio is inseparable. All the women envy Maya because she's the one around the Letos 24/7. Some people think she fucked both of them, some think she still does and the brothers are okay in sharing but, in reality, they're just really good friends.

When a drama starts to annoy both the boys and Maya that they stop to think what's better for them. Apparently, a frat-mate is accusing both Jared and Shannon of sleeping with his girlfriend & Maya's roommate has a strange voyeur fetish.

Jared sighs, sitting next to Maya. "Aw man, this thing is getting on my nerves," He says, rubbing his face.

"It’s already got on mine," Shannon says, sipping his coffee.

Maya glares at them, holding her coffee cup in her hands. "But," She starts, making them look at her. "Have you done that?" She asks, squinting her eyes a bit.

Shannon opens a smirk and so does Jared, looking at one another. "Have you?" Jared raises his eyebrow, looking at Shannon.

"I did, you?" The older brother confirms.

"I did it, too," Jared laughs slightly and Maya gives them a disgusted face.

"Ugh!" She scoffs. "I can't believe this, ew! You guys are disgusting!" Maya shakes her head, trying to clear the image that just popped up in her mind.

"What?" Shannon asks, laughing. "You asked!"

"Still!" The woman widens her eyes, shaking her head. "How could you do that to your frat-mate?"

"Well, if his girl wasn't such a slut," Jared shrugs off like that's nothing. "I'm pretty sure she started to date him so she could hang out in the house to get to us," He says and Shannon nods, agreeing with his brother's theory.

"You guys are so sure of yourselves, I can't believe that!" Maya chuckles, taking a sip of her coffee.

"We can," Shannon gives her a cheeky smile.

"We have all the girls we want," Jared adds, smirking.

"Not me," Maya points out and opens a cocky smile.

Both brothers lose their composure, remembering that Maya is the one that got away. "Who's being sure of oneself now?" Shannon asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Mhm," Maya hums, chuckling at them.

Jared leans back in his chair. "And how's your roommate?" He asks, changing the subject.

Maya rolls her eyes and growls at the mention. "Getting creepier as the days passes by," She says.

Shannon chuckles. "What's new?"

"Besides the fact that I can't stay in my own room?" Maya asks, raising her eyebrow. "Totally fine that she has a boyfriend and all, but she doesn't respect the privacy rule, she already ran into me with a guy two times..."

"You were with a guy two times?" Jared asks, with a frown.

"No, don't be a moron. It was two different guys," Maya rolls her eyes again, making the brothers chuckle. "And, once, she was peeking through the door! That chick is crazy!" She shakes her head.

"Oh, man. What are we gonna do with our lives?" Jared asks, looking up at the ceiling as a husky laugh comes from the back of his throat.

Shannon pushes his sunglasses to the bridge of his nose, watching the movement on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop. "Sometimes I think that if we lived together, it wasn't gonna have all these ridiculous dramas," He comments.

"Mhm," Jared nods, agreeing with his brother.

Maya stays quiet, thinking about what he just said. She bites her lips, trying to list the pros and cons of living with both her best friends. But her track of thoughts is interrupted by a text message, warning her that she has to go back to work.

"Uh," Maya mutters, collecting her things and taking her cup of coffee. "I have to go, I'll see you guys later," She says, kissing Jared's cheek and then Shannon's.

"Bye, Ganesha," Jared says, smiling.

"I already told you that Ganesha is a god, he is male!" Maya says, rolling her eyes.

"But he looks a cute female elephant," He argues, making the woman shake her head.

"I don't know why I insist," She says to herself, walking away.

"Hey, I'll pick you up," Shannon yells to her from afar and Maya raises a thumb up, without turning around.

The brothers stay in the coffee shop just for a few more minutes before returning to their jobs as well. Maya finds hard to focus on her task with what Shannon said on her head. She so distracted that she doesn't realize she's searching for apartments when she's supposed to be analyzing numbers.

Fortunately, the afternoon goes quickly and Maya's packing her things to go. Shannon is already waiting for her in the parking lot and she rushes to the elevator, bidding goodbye to her coworkers on the way out. From afar, the woman sees her best friend on his phone, sitting in the driver's seat while heavy metal blows from the stereo of his classic Ford Mustang.

She opens the passenger's door, making Shannon look her way. "Hey, handsome," Maya greets, sitting beside him.

"Hi, hottie. How's the rest of your day?" He asks, starting the car.

"Chaotic at best," She replies with a sigh. "C'mon, I'll buy us food and let's head to your frat house."

Shannon grimaces at the mention of the house. "Really? I was thinking of dropping you off in your dorm and go spend the night with a random girl to not go there," He says.

"Yeah, I have something to discuss with you and Jay," Maya says, changing the music to something she likes too.

The man makes another face, turning to look at her. "Are we screwed?" He inquires, making Maya chuckle.

"No, you silly. Just drive!"

They go to a drive-thru and Maya pays for burgers and fries to the three of them, along with a big bottle of coke. Then, Shannon drives to his frat house with no desire to come inside. He parks the car nearby and takes the food, leaving Maya only with the bottle. She opens the door and closes when Shannon passes by.

"Finally decided to get back home, Leto?" Hastings, one of the guys who lives there, says.

"Not voluntarily," Shannon mumbles, not looking their way. "Oh, God help me!"

Maya turns to the stairs to see Piper (the girl both brothers slept with and the source of all the issues) coming down with her boyfriend, John.

"Hi, Shan," Her high pitched voice makes Maya cringe. "How're you doing?"

"Better if I hadn't seen your ugly face," He says under his breath, lowering his face.

"What did you say, Leto?" John asks, climbing down one more step.

Maya puts herself in front of Shannon. "Maya," Piper says, her venom dripping from her words.

"Piper," Maya mimics her, shaking her head a bit. "Could you politely remove your slutty face outta my way?" She asks with the most beautiful fake smile she has.

"Who are you to talk to my girlfriend like this? We all know you're constantly sucking his and his brother's dick," John accuses Maya, trying to defend his girlfriend.

"Who the hell you think you're talking to?" Shannon gives a step forward, ready to defend Maya too, but the woman places a hand on his chest, with a smile on her face.

"Do I now?" Maya raises an eyebrow, looking at John. "Ever heard me with them? I don't think so. And it'd be pretty hard to keep it low because both of them are quite gifted, unlike you..." She trails off, lowering her eyes to John's pants. "As for your girlfriend," Maya looks up at his face again. "At least I don't pretend to date a loser so I can hang out on his frat house to get closer to the hottest brothers in the whole university."

John’s jaw almost drops to the floor and Piper doesn't dare to say a word to defend herself, too shocked by what the woman has said. Pleased with that, Maya takes Shannon's hand and pulls him upstairs, walking towards Jared's room. She stops in front of his door and knocks before getting inside.

"Jay, I'm coming in, I've brought food," She says and doesn't wait for his answer, pushing the door open.

Jared shirtless on his bed, wearing shorts and there's a girl with him, wearing one of his flannel shirts. At least they're not fucking because Maya had already walked into both brothers doing that. She doesn't care about the girl and gets into the room anyway with Shannon behind her.

"Oh, didn't know you had company. I've brought food only for the three of us," Maya says, putting her purse on Jared's writing-table.

"No problem, I don't eat at night," The girl says.

"Alicia, right? Law?" She asks, looking at her.

"Correct," The girl smiles and Maya nods.

"Maya, econ," She introduces herself, seeing that Jared has no desire to do so.

"What's this about?" He asks, sliding to the floor where Shannon and Maya had sat with the food in the middle. "I thought you were gonna sleep elsewhere," Jared looks at Shannon.

The older brother nods, taking one burger out for him as Maya put coke in four cups. "I was but she said she has something to discuss with us," Shannon nods to their friend.

Jared makes a face, holding his burger. "Are we screwed?" He asks, looking at Maya.

She chuckles, shaking her head. "No! God, you two are eager for some trouble," Maya says, biting her burger.

They make small talk for a bit while eating the burgers. Jared's company didn't say anything, she only drank the coke and ate some fries, even though she said she didn't eat at night. Leaning on Shannon's shoulder, Maya picks some fries, sipping her coke from time to time.

"Alright Maya, what is it? I'm curious," Jared inquires.

"Me too," Shannon agrees.

"Mhm, okay," She says, moving away from Shannon. "So, I've spent the whole afternoon thinking about what Shan said at the coffee shop earlier," Maya starts.

Jared frowns. "That we can be sure of ourselves because we have all the girls we want?" He asks, not caring about Alicia, who gives him a look.

Maya makes a face. "No, 'bout if we lived together," She corrects.

"Oh..." Both brothers murmurs in unison.

"I've been thinking about it, the pros and cons, and everything, but why not?" She asks. "You two are having problems here, soon or later you'll be kicked out. I have a crazy roommate... It wouldn't be bad. We all have jobs, we could split the rent, we understand ourselves better than anyone else, and everything in your rooms is yours. I'm the one losing here 'cause I don't even have a bed, so... What do you guys think?" Maya looks at the two of them.

"I mean, it's not a bad idea," Shannon says, scratching the stubble on his chin. "But where?"

Maya nods, standing up. "Mhm, I've got it. I've been searching, too," She says, taking her iPad from her purse and sitting down again. "Come here Jared," Maya calls him, scrolling through the device and he obeys, moving to sit right next to her. "So, I've been looking for three-bedroom apartments nearby the campus."

It takes the amount of twenty minutes for Maya to convince them and another hour speaking excitedly about it. They realize that it’s got too late when Jared's date starts to snore softly on his bed. Exchanging a look, Maya and Shannon stand up from the floor, Jared helps them clean up the food content and they bid goodnight, walking out Jay's room.

"Can I sleep with you?" Maya asks, looking at Shannon. "I really don't want to go back to Norman Bates," She makes a face.

Shannon chuckles at her comparison. "Sure thing, hottie," He nods, smiling.

"Ah! I love you! Here, take my things and I'll put these things in the trash," Maya says, giving him her purse and taking the things from his hands.

Shannon obeys, walking towards his door and unlocking it while Maya walks downstairs to throw the trash away. She ignores the other residents and walks straight to the kitchen, putting everything into the trashcan. On her way back upstairs, Maya gets catcalled but simply raises her middle finger at the assholes, not feeling slightly attacked by it.

She gets into Shannon's room without knocking and it's empty, but the shower is running and Maya knows he's in the bathroom. Waiting for him, the woman simply keeps searching for places on her iPad. Soon, Shannon emerges from the bathroom and gets her a clean towel and some of his clothes so Maya can take a shower too.

In a matter of minutes, they're both curled up together in his blankets. There isn't anything sexual about that and Maya drifts into sleep happily on her best friend's arms, glad to not be afraid to open her eyes and see her roommate watching her sleep. The morning comes quickly and Shan drives the trio to Maya's dorm so she can change for class and when she receives goodbye kisses from both brothers, several envious glances are thrown at her.

Maya finds them a perfect apartment in the afternoon and they're signing the rent papers at the weekend, moving in the other weekend. The boys' room is completely emptied from the frat house and Maya got all her stuff from her dorm, which is basically her clothes.

Shan's TV is gonna be in the living room temporarily, with folding chairs as a sofa, also temporarily. Maya would have to share a bed with them until she gets money to buy one to herself, making them take turns in bringing girls to their new place or simply going to their places instead and leaving Maya with the bed for the night.

With the savings Maya had, she chose to invest in a stove and a fridge, along with the boys' help too. Their apartment has three bedrooms, the first and only demand was that each room gets its own bathroom. The brothers kindly allow Maya to take the bigger bedroom, which is empty for now. There is a nice kitchen, a small but nice laundry room, a living room, and a social bathroom.

Their new place is cute.

"We need to establish ground rules right away," Maya says, sitting on the living room floor with the brothers and biting her pizza.

"Agreed," Shannon says, mouth full.

Jared nods, looking at Maya. "Want to start?"

"Mhm," She nods. "No orgies, for starters," She raises both eyebrows.

Shannon laughs. "Damn! You're such a spoilsport!" He looks at Jared.

"Yeah, I know some heavy stuff happens in that frat house," She points out.

"We never took part in that," Jared says. "Unlike people think, I don't like to share," He smirks.

"Yeah, and those idiots can't actually compete with us 'cause, you know," Shan wiggles his eyebrows. "That gifted thing..."

Maya rolls her eyes. "Anyway... No sex in the kitchen, no sex in the laundry room, no sex on the sofa, no sex on the dining room table..." She counts on her fingers and Jared makes a face at each prohibited space.

"And we're gonna have sex where?" He asks.

She gives him a pointed look. "Try in your bedroom, in your bed," Maya says.

Jared shakes his head. "That's not fun, you ruled out all the fun places,"

"We don't even have a sofa nor a dining table," Shannon remembers.

"But we will," Maya says. "No parties either, we can have fun with other's parties. The landlord said he's against it, anyway."

"Fine by me," Shan nods.

"Yeah, me too," Jared nods. "Don't feel like having people around my stuff."

"I don't wanna see guys wandering around naked," Shannon says, looking at Maya.

"I don't wanna see girls wandering around naked either," She adds.

"So, no wandering around naked," Jared says.

"And we need a cleaning schedule 'cause I ain't gonna be a fucking maid," She says and both brothers grimaces at ‘cleaning schedule’.

The first rule to be broken is the wandering around naked because their ‘guests’ don't know about the other residents. Maya's dad sends money to her against her will and she confronts him about that, but she ends up buying her bed after all. Slowly, as months passes by, their apartment gradually acquires more furniture, starting to look even more like there are people living in it.

Maya wakes up to the unpleasant sound of female giggles coming from the hallway and one of the boys shushing it. She groans and rubs her face, checking her phone to see what times is it. After that, she gets out the bed and into her bathroom, getting some morning hygiene done before leaving the room.

"Morning, handsome," She says to Shan who's sitting on the countertop, with his back turned to Maya.

"Morning, hottie," He replies, turning to look at her as she passes by.

She scolds, looking at the blonde wearing only lingerie. "Do you have clothes?" Maya asks with a face, making her way to the fridge.

"Do you?" The girl retorts and Maya takes her head out of the fridge to look at her with an eyebrow up.

"This is my apartment, I can walk around as I wish. You're just the disposable girl who won't get a call, don't get your hopes up," Maya says with her devilish smile. "Where are you getting this low stuff, Shan?" She asks, looking back at the fridge.

"Maya..." Shannon hisses, just to keep things civil.

"Where the hell is my yogurt?" Maya asks, looking at the empty space in the fridge.

Shannon looks at the girl by his side, sipping from Maya's yogurt, but he doesn't say anything. Eventually, the Indian descendant looks around to face the woman, slamming the fridge door shut, and then the blonde realizes.

"Oh, I thought there was no problem," She says.

Maya looks at her, taking the yogurt pot from her hands. "There is," She says, emptying it into a cup and making Shannon chuckle.

"Good morning family!" Jared cheers, walking into the kitchen. "And stranger," He adds, looking at the half-naked blonde.

Their best friend glances over Jared's guest and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I really hope that's not my cereal bar," Maya wishes, eyes still closed.

But it is, she knows it. "What?" Jared asks, looking at his girl.

She opens her eyes and sighs, shaking her head. "I'm gonna get changed for class," Maya says, leaving the untouched glass of yogurt behind.

Maya closes her bedroom door and the brothers look at each other, already knowing she's upset. She changes into a crop top, high-waisted denim pants, and combat boots. Maya applies light makeup and leaves her hair loose, taking her purse and notebook before leaving the bedroom.

"Are you upset?" Shannon asks, stopped with Jared in front of her door.

"No, I'm not," Maya lies. "I'm gonna go."

"So, just wait to us get ready and I'll take you," Shannon stops her.

"Yeah, get some breakfast in the meanwhile," Jared nods.

"Not hungry anymore," She says, pushing past them. "See you guys at lunch."

Just like that, they watch Maya leaving their apartment, slamming the door shut after her. Jared and Shannon look at each other at the same time and jump slightly at the loud thump.

"She's upset," Jared says.

"Yeah," Shannon agrees, walking away to his room.

Maya just sees them again in lunch, as she promised. She avoided them in the hallways in between classes but she couldn't avoid them for lunch. The woman sits at their usual table in the usual diner. The lack of breakfast made Maya starving and she didn't wait for them to order her food, but eventually, Jared and Shannon get into the diner.

"Whoa, thanks for waiting!" Jared says offended, taking a seat in front of her.

She looks at him. "Pardon, it's all my fault. I skipped breakfast today," Maya says sarcastically.

Shannon sighs, sitting by his brother's side. "Maya, we're sorry about that. Can we please be okay?" He asks, looking at her.

Maya stares at them for a second, before shaking her head and rolling the spaghetti in her fork. "I don't like when your dates eat my food, our food. Can't you two just fuck and tell them to leave?" She asks, putting the spaghetti into her mouth.

"Wouldn't that be just mean? Women don't like to be fucked and told to leave," Jared argues.

"Why do you think you never see a guy walking around our place?" She raises an eyebrow.

Shannon smiles. "Wait, you fuck and tell them to leave?" He chuckles.

"Of course! That's what casual sex is about!" Maya gives them a deadpan look. "Plus, our apartment is not a hotel so they can spend the night in. I hate clingy guys and cuddle after sex," She rolls her eyes.

"Oh, Maya! You're amazing!" Shannon says, laughing. "SO romantic!"

But Jared shakes his head. "No, it doesn't work this way," He claims.

Maya stares at him. "Okay," She nods simply, a plan in mind.

That night, she takes a guy over after a party. Maya doesn't know if the brothers are home or if they have someone over too, but she doesn't care, it's her payback. After sex, even hating it, she allows the guy to stay the night and cuddle, waking up the next morning to have him kissing her shoulder blade.

Maya scolds at the feeling and it's tempted to send the guys home right away, but then she remembers why he's there. Putting a fake smile on, she lets him kiss her and soon they're out the bedroom. Maya is not ashamed of the fact that she doesn't even remember his name and doesn't care that he's only with his boxer briefs in the kitchen.

She smiles silently when he takes Shannon's coffee mug and Jared's oatmeal, but she doesn't say a word. They chat for a bit while she makes her own breakfast and soon enough she hears the doors being open.

"Morning, hottie," Jared says, walking towards the kitchen.

"Morning, hottie," Shan repeats, behind his brother.

The sound of the brothers makes the guy in front of her self-conscious about his dressing choice or lack thereof.

"Morning boys," Maya hides her devilish smile with her coffee mug. "These are my brothers," She points out to the guy in front of her.

"Hey," He waves at Jay and Shan sheepishly.

"Is this my coffee mug?" Shannon asks, pointing at the mug the guy's using.

"Eh?" Jared takes the empty box of oatmeal. Then he glances over the bowl in Maya's guest is using. "Are you eating oatmeal?" He asks.

"Yeah," The guy replies sheepishly.

Shannon and Jared both look at Maya and she gives them the most neutral, poker face she has. Without saying anything else, Jared gets cereal and Shannon takes another mug, both against their will. Happy with the result of her payback, Maya only tolerates the guy for a little longer.

"Alright, Stuart, time to go," She says, losing her patience.

The guy makes a face, looking at her. "What?" He asks. "It's Steven," He corrects.

Jared and Shannon look at each other not sure of what to do or if it is even correct to watch that, but they stay still anyway, watching Maya expel the guy.

"Yeah, right. We had a great time but now you need to leave, Stefan," Maya says, pointing to the door.

"It's Steven!" He raises his voice and that makes both brothers alert. Maya simply widens her eyes, shaking her head, signaling she doesn't care. "Are you dumping me?" He narrows his eyes to Maya.

"Yeah, Sten," Maya nods. "I even brought your shit out my bedroom," She points to the pile of clothing on the floor, behind him. "Now if you could kindly get the fuck out my apartment, I would appreciate it," Maya opens a fake smile.

Looking pissed, Steven stands from the chair and starts getting dressed. "You're really a b-" He starts and Maya raises both eyebrows, waiting for it.

"I would be very careful now," Shannon cuts him off.

Steven turns to look at them. "Know what, fuck off," He says, storming out the apartment.

"That's why I don't let 'em stay," Maya says to herself quietly, turning to put the dishes in the sink.

"Awesome payback," Jared says, watching her. "Point made."

Maya simply smiles at her friends and walks away, getting into her room and directly to the shower so she can get rid of any remnant of Steven.

* * *

– three. duties

#jared leto #shannon leto #thirty seconds to mars #30 seconds to mars #30stm #jared leto fanfiction #jared leto fanfic #jared leto imagine #jared leto x ofc #shannon leto fanfiction #shannon leto fanfic #shannon leto imagine #shannon leto x ofc #thirty seconds to mars fanfic #roomies

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iknownothingihearnothing · 5 years

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Game of Thrones 8.4 “The Last of the Starks”

I. Am. MAD.

This...this week’s offering right here is an example of an episode I loved and loathed in equal measure. There were lovely moments of--

And then...then there were even more ones of--

Y’all know what I’m talking about. From Brienne’s heartbroken face to that motherfucking Northern stubbornness, to Missandei’s capture and death, to Jon still not knowing enough (he’s so naive), to Euron shooting poor Rhaegal out of the sky, to JON BEING A HORRIBLE WOLF-DADDY!

He just ABANDONED Ghost! Without even a pat goodbye! Even if he had to leave him, he could’ve at least spared a frigging goodbye. Yeah yeah budget blah blah. You couldn’t get an actual big, white, fluffy dog for the few seconds needed for Jon Snow to bid his wolfy buddy who RISKED HIS LIFE for him a proper farewell?!

I pet my dog and call him a good boy when he gets the ball and goes poop outside. You couldn’t spare more than a “laters, brah” nod to your poor puppy?!

LOOK HOW SAD HE IS!

I want to hug him and kiss him and snuggle him and tell him he’s the goodest boi in the North. Pawning him off to Tormund to live Beyond the Not Wall where he knows no one, what’s the matter with you, Jogon of House Snowaryen?!

Dany may be leaning a biiiiiit too far into her House Targaryen roots but at least she is a dedicated pet owner. We know she loves her...scale...babies? They have spines, right? Spine babies? Fire babies.

Ugh, let’s get into this week’s slice of sadness.

The episode opens with a massive funeral for those that died in the Battle of Winterfell. Including Jorah, Lyanna, Theon, Mr. Edd, and Beric, who is now definitely out of lives.

Dany, crying, leans over Jorah’s prone body, kisses his forehead, and whispers something we’ll never know into his ear.

At least, we’ll never know unless either Emilia or Iain decide to spill the deets. Iain Glen said in a post-ep interview with Entertainment Weekly that it was “something definitely profound”. But who knows, he could be bullshitting us and she actually said “I like muffins” or something and he had to lay there pretending to be dead.

On second thought, she’s English. So perhaps she prefers crumpets.

Sansa is sniffling over Theon’s body and places a House Stark pin in his shirt. Jon is looking out at this sea of corpses like--

There is no more Ol’ Nighty to bring them back.

Or so we’re led to believe.

The camera pans across the mourners and we catch a glimpse of our favorite furry friend.

He’s such a good, loyal doggo. Wolfo? Direwolfo.

Oh Jon I am so MAD AT YOU!

Saving my rage for a bit further down. Barely.

Jon gives a farewell speech about all their dead--they defended the realms of men, no one will ever see their like again, etc. etc.--and then some of the mourners who knew the dead best are given flaming branches in order to set the bodies alight. In the North, they burn their dead. I guess cus the ground is forever frozen and one day someone from House Whyrevr said fuck it and lit his dead grandma on fire.

Afterwards, they have a joint funeral/”glad we’re alive” party because of course they do. Kinda reminiscent of our shiva except people are sitting on chairs. At the head table, Jon is looking awkwardly at Dany--apparently, that whole “we’re technically related and oh you have a better claim to the throne than me” stuff has lingered beyond fighting for their lives. Damn. Not even surviving Team Undead’s invasion could get them out of that business.

Elsewhere, Gendry asks the Hound if he’s seen Arya. Does Robert’s bastard have a wee more on his mind than all the death? Like, say, his wee-wee?

Some things never change, no matter what century it is.

Gendry tries to stutter that it’s not about that but the Hound knows it is. Gendry’s alive and the dead are not. Might as well take ASS-vantage of it.

Eh? Eh?

Srsly, this is like the worst party in the history of Westeros. Uh, aside from the Red Wedding (but not the Purple one, #ByeJoflecia). They just buried burnt a heap of their dead, two of their hosts are keeping a huge secret from everyone (and being super weird around each other because of it), and Dany’s endlessly fighting against that frigging Northern hardheadedness. It’s not GREAT, Bob.

Speaking of that famous Northern jackassery, Dany sees an opportunity to crack that stubborn ice as Gendry crosses the party hall. Calling him over, she at first inquires about his parentage, asks him if he knows that Robert Baratheon kinda had her whole family killed and wanted to slaughter her as an infant. Gendry’s like “Whoa, did not know that he was my daddy until after he was dead” and Dany’s all “Yep he dead and so are Renly and Stannis so who’s Lord of Storm’s End?” and no one knows.

This is Dany’s chance to make good.

Not only did Gendry survive the battle, he got laid and made a lord!

You go, Glenn Coco, Gendry Baratheon, Lord of Storm’s End!

Ser Davos, the onion knight (lol) leads the room in a toast to Gendry, the newest Lord on the block.

Don’t be fooled cus he’s now a Lord, he’s still he’s still Gendry from the Forge.

Tyrion remarks that now Gendry will forever be loyal to her and Dany says that he is not the only one that is clever.

Sansa, hearing this, looks at her like bats just sprouted from her head and flew out her ears while her eyes turned red as she chuckled evilly.

Oh, come on! This is what people in powerful positions on the show do. That’s how they secure allies without, you know, marrying their allies. You want someone’s loyalty, do something for them. Dany’s not the first one to try that. And it’s not like she had Drogon Dracarys the hell out of one of Gendry’s enemies to secure that loyalty. She made him a damn Lord.

The Starks are annoying me this season. Except when Arya laid the smacketh down on Ol’ Nighty.

In another corner, Jaime and Brienne are celebrating by gettin’ crunk. She offers a halfassed excuse but Jaime’s all “Dude, we defeated a horde of zombies. Drink up!” and she does, giving him this look:

Bow chicka wowowwwwwwwwwwwwww chicka chicka boom.

Not that I can blame her. Aside from all that incestin’, Jaime’s a fine slice of Kingslayer pie.

Ser Davos of House Onion and Tyrion are talking about Melisandre, who last episode took off her necklace and aged into evaporation. Davos tells Tyrion that he swore to Melisandre he would kill her next time he saw her but he never got the chance, as she did it to herself. Or the Lord of Light took her. Or whatever. They don’t like him much. They fight his war and then he fucks off.

Tyrion crosses the room to BranBot, who is reading in his wheelchair, which Tyrion calls a clever invention. I keep forgetting that wheelchairs aren’t really a thing in Westeros.

BranBot, as animated as he’s programmed to be, delights in telling Tyrion that it is reminiscent of the one Daeron Targaryen made for his nephew over a hundred years ago. Just your regular episodic reminder that BranBot is...BranBot.

Tyrion says BranBot’s BranVision will come in handy as the Lord of Winterfell, which he technically is as Ned Stark’s last surviving “trueborn” son. But BranBot doesn’t want it. BranBot doesn’t really want anything or anyone. He totally just doesn’t care, man.

Tyrion envies BranBot’s ability to not give a shit and and BranBot tells him not to because--

Yes, yes. You’re an “old soul”, BranBot. BranBot calls himself a grandpa in a teenager’s body. He forgets what generation he is and refers to people his own age as “you youngins”. He constantly crows that he is a “proud introvert” who’d rather be reading. We KNOW, BranBot!

Tormund leads a toast (with his awesome tusk cup) to the Dragon Queen and everyone cheers so maybe Dany’s making headway. She herself turns her own toast to Arya, the hero of the Battle of Winterfell.

Jaime, Brienne, Tyrion, and Pod are playing a Westerosi version of Never Have I Ever with wine and Tormund, a bit drunk off his red ass, is going on and on about how awesome Jon is. Meanwhile, Dany is listening and though she toasts him she knows that she will always be an outsider to these people and they fucking love Jon.

Also, this happened:

“May I have your name?”

“Daenerys Stormborn, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Mother of Dragons.”

“Okay, that’s Daniellris Shoehorn, the Sunburnt, Keen of Mean Girls, Bean of the Sandals and the Thirsty Hen, Call Sweetie of the Eight Assed Bee, Brother of Wagons. Is that correct?”

“Ugh. Just write Dany.”

“Okay, Fannie.”

The PTB at HBO have since digitally removed The Cup from the episode but wah bro I think they should have kept it in. That’s hilarious. I want to live in a world where Starbucks exists on Game of Thrones. And it survived the battle. Of course House Styrbycks is right around the corner from Winterfell, conveniently situated at the heart of the town square.

And you better believe there’s a ride-thru for the horseman on the go.

I enjoy how HBO came out with a statement that Dany ordered herbal tea. I can see Dany ordering herbal tea.

In warmer climes, though, she’s definitely a dragon fruit smoothie girl.

Aside: Liam Cunningham recently went on Conan and gifted him The Cup:

He swore it was the actual cup. How is that even possible?! Wouldn’t someone have tossed it after all this time? And the fact that it was still around had to signal to someone on set that a) trolol a person in Consistency fucked up and at least one dude on GoT knew it before the ep aired and b) that Emilia’s discarded latte appearing in a scene would be gold.

I want to believe it’s legit. I want to believe so hard that it’s the real Cup and that all these circumstances came together to land the Cup in Liam’s hand all this time later. I want to, and so I shall.

(Yes, I know it is not the real Cup but shh I want to BELIEVE!)

So, Dany is watching everyone have fun and be close with each other, especially how everyone seems to love Jon here, and she’s feeling even more like an outsider (and not a bit insecure about her claim to the throne) and she gets up and leaves. Varys starts to follow her with his watchful Varys eyes.

Jaime, Brienne, Podrick, and Tyrion are still playing their game and getting increasingly drunker doing so. Drunker and more giggly. Everything’s all well and good until Tyrion suddenly sits up, looks Brienne in the eye, and accuses her of being a--dun dun dun--virgin. Pod nonchalantly sips his wine.

Brienne clambers out of her seat and mutters that she has to piss. Tormund, also drunk as a skunk, stumbles to their table, celebrating, and asks--

Well? Who did shit in Tormund’s pants?!

It’s kinda awks because Tormund is into Brienne but Brienne has feelings for Jaime and when did GoT become a teen soap opera? It’s like The North 00000 up in here.

Tyrion pours more wine into Tormund’s tusk as Jaime follows Brienne out.

Dramz. Will they? Won’t they? Stay tuned next week!

No, they totally will right now.

But first, Tormund is going to bitch.

I was cheering for Tormund to win his Big Woman, I really was. But then Jaime showed up and their chemistry just...reignited.

Tormund expresses sadness until a Northern lady volunteers to take up his time. The Hound continues to drown his sorrows--tho idk what he’s sad about, he’s alive--ignoring even the prospect of sexytimes until Sansa, finally able to make eye contact with the Hound, shares his table. It was a long time ago when she couldn’t even look at him, back when she was just a little bird. But now she’s a dark phoenix (see what I did there? Because Sophie Turner is starring in Dark Phoenix!) risen from the ashes, having had her revenge against her latest torturer/husband, Ramsay Bolton via his own hounds.

None of if would’ve happened if Sansa had left K.L. with the Hound way back when. But Sansa gently squeezes his hand and says that without Ramsay, Littlefinger, and all those assholes, she’d still be that same naive little bird.

Anyone else get the vibe that David and D.B. are kinda...trying to justify what Ramsay did to Sansa here? Just an itty bit? All that’s missing is Sansa belting out Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter”.

Outside, Arya is practicing her archery skillz when Gendry, the new Lord of Storm’s End, is imbued with way too much enthusiasm after being dubbed by Dany and legit blurts out a proposal to his one night stand right then and there.

Ugh. I can’t wait until my shitty copy of Phhotoshop arrives. Until then I have to use paint shop. Look at those corners! They are making me itch.

Anyway, Arya obvs rejects Gendry’s proposal and it’s d’awww. Gendry is like that guy you hook up with once because he’s hot and afterwards, he won’t stop calling you and texting you and trying to add you as a Facebook friend and messaging you on Twitter suggesting that you fly to Michigan to meet his parents for Thanksgiving. This is something I know nothing about.

Ah, now we’ve circled back to the Jaime and Brienne Show!

That’s if he’s not still obsessed with his siiiiiiiiissssterrrr (she’s a psycho!)

Brienne’s throwing more wood onto yet another hearth (there are a lot of hearths in Winterfell) when Jaime knocks on her door and unceremoniously proclaims that she did not drink when Tyrion accused her of being a V to the gin. He pours her some Dornish red and mutters about it being hot in here; Brienne has learned in the North to always keep a fire going. Jaime has learned in the North that he hates the fucking North. Brienne counters that it grew on her.

Jaime wonders if Tormund Giantsbane also grew on her. He seemed quite sad when she left.

He wants the V-card and the V.

Jaime chuckles awkwardly and begins to pull at the collar of his shirt because “it’s bloody hot in here”. Brienne watches him warily for a second until she gets annoyed and unties the garment herself.

You see where this is going.

First time for Jaime, too. He’s never slept with a knight before.

Has he ever slept with anyone who isn’t his sister before?

Shows how much he cares about Brienne. Letting someone in who isn’t Cersei. That’s a good, non-incestuous step forward, Jaime.

It’s a big moment for Brienne, too, aside from the obvious. She’s had a thing for Jaime for years. This is like that guy you’ve been secretly pining for suddenly realizing he’s totally into it.

In the next scene, Dany confronts a “slightly drunk” Jon, who did not know Ser Jorah very well, but he is pretty sure that if he would’ve chosen a way to die, it would have been protecting Dany. Dany knows Jorah loved her, but she couldn’t love him back--not the way he deserved, not the way she loves Jon.

They kiss and it’s like before Jon ever found out he’s also Aegon until--

“Does Westeros have any support groups for this? Maybe I should ask Ser Jaime.”

Jon wishes that Dany had never told them that they were related and I’m sitting here like--

He would’ve figured it out sooner or later, right? I mean, if he knew he was half Targaryen and all and Rhaegar was his daddy. I understand math is hard but...

Dany tries to forget and sometimes almost succeeds until tonight when she saw all those people gathered around him, looking at him like I’m The Hero! People have looked at her like that before, lots of people, but not here, not on this side of the Narrow Sea. She begs him not to tell anyone of his Targaryen lineage, to swear Samwell and BranBot to secrecy, so that things could go back to how they were before between them.

But Jon must tell Sansa and Arya because family and nobility and Starkism and all that. And we all know Sansa no likey Dany, despite the fact that HER ARMIES SAVED YOUR NORTHERN ASS.

She begs him some more and he promises that she is his Queen and they can all live together. And they can, if Jon keeps his trap shut.

In Brienne’s quarters, if the animal pelts are a rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’!

Warm enough in there now, Brienne?

In the War Room--damn, don’t we all aspire to have a War Room?--our favorites are gathered around the Great Table or whatever with a map of Westeros in the center and some old timey Checkers pieces standing in for the two sides’ respective armies. Obvs, the Battle of Winterfell has depleted Dany and Jon’s forces greatly, but they still have enough to wage hell on Cersei. Yara has taken back the Iron Islands in her name, and the Prince of Dorne pledges his support. Still, Cersei has the Golden Company led by Guyliner Greyjoy and the Lannister Army fresh and ready to fight.

Dany is not appeased. No matter how many noble people declare their fealty to her, while Cersei still sits on the Iron Throne, she can still call herself Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

Jon, Tyrion, and Varys reassure her with talk of dragons and the people of K.L. having rebelled against their King before. Sansa adds that she wants to give the armies time to recuperate, which is also--

--since they just fought Team Undead and all. But Dany wants to hit up K.L. NOW NOW NOW because the longer they wait, the stronger her enemies become. Or something.

Someone’s starting to lean a wee too far into her Targ roots. It’s just common sense, Dany. Take a chill pill.

But Jon sticks up for his GF. Very sternly, he swears the North will honor its commitments and allegiance to the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and blah blah blah.

Dany appears smug.

Silently, Arya and Sansa trade glances like--

Tyrion narrates that Jon will lead the remaining forces up the Kingsroad while a smaller group of them will take a fleet to Dragonstone while the Queen will follow on...dragonback.

Jaime will remain at Winterfell as a guest.

The camera ticks to Brienne’s expression at the mention of her former crush and new lovah’s name:

She’s trying to outwardly remain passive, but inside--

She’s getting laid and she’s not dead. Those are good times in Westeros.

Dany completes the conference and Arya demands a word with Jon. Outside, Jon is like “We’d all be DEAD if not for her” which is again DUH and Sansa snides “Arya’s the one that killed the Night King”. Arya wouldn’t have had the chance to kill the Night King without Dany’s armies because they’d all be DEAD. Seven Hells, you people are ridiculous. “We don’t trust her, ShE’s nOt OnE oF Us.” That is an absurd reason not to trust someone. I’m from New Jersey. It’d be like me about to be murdered and refusing help from someone because they’re from Florida. Don’t trust her because of her personality not because of where she is from.

And then, like a naive idiot, Jon actually thinks because he swore them to secrecy, Sansa and Arya will for sure totally keep his true lineage behind zipped lips.

This here was one of the scenes that made me roll my eyes so hard, they almost got stuck.

From that, thankfully, GoT moves on to one of my favorite scenes of the episode. Jaime and Tyrion sitting there over drinks gossiping like yentas. Jaime’s giving his younger brother all the deets vis-a-vis his liaison with Brienne. When Tyrion doesn’t say anything snide, Jaime is visibly uncomfortable, and Tyrion claims he’s happy Jaime is happy.

And--

Tyrion has been waiting for ages to make tall person jokes.

He also wants to know what she’s like “down there”. Jaime calls him a dog.

But then Bronn shows up, finally after Creepy Qyburn hired him to kill Cersei’s “traitorous brothers”, a bit drunk off his ass, brandishing that crossbow. After he smacks Tyrion in the nose, he tells them that Cersei offered him Riverrun, but he knows the Queen is fucked after seeing Dany’s dragons, even with their depleted forces. And Cersei can’t pay up if she’s dead, so...

So Tyrion counters the offer. Highgarden for Riverrun. Bronn would be made Lord of the Reach. It’s certainly open now that House Tyrell has been decimated (RIP Olenna, you ultimate badass). Jaime blanches. How could Tyrion just give him Highgarden? Well hell, it’s better than being dead.

Jaime doesn’t think Bronn will seriously kill them. Jaime is wrong.

Jaime scoffs Highgarden will never belong to a cuttrhoat but Bronn laughs pish-posh. Isn’t that how all the great Houses started? Kill a few hundred, they make you a Lord. Kill a few thousand, they make you a King?

Tyrion gives Bronn-y his word he’l give him Highgarden as long as they take King’s Landing. Bronn opts out of leading the fight, but wishes the brothers luck with a casual “Don’t die”.

The Hound yells “FFS!” when he meets up with Arya on the Kingsroad. Yep, they’re both goin’ Kings Landing way. Nope, Arya doesn’t really care to hang around, even if she is the hero after knifing that horned fucker. Yes, she probably will abandon the Hound again if he gets hurt.

They both have “unfinished business”. Arya to scratch Cersei off her infamous Kill List. The Hound, presumably, to finally fulfill our fantasy of Clegane Bowl!

Elsewhere, Dany is getting ready to leave the fucking frozen North, petting her dragons. And on this show, that is not a euphemism. One of them, presumably Rhaegal, takes flight.

While Drogon remains with her, that mama’s boy.

On the bridge, Sansa is watching Drogon and Rhaegal lift off, trying to shoot them down with her eyes.

Before he leaves, Tyrion tries to convince her one more time that Daenerys is it, or at least a way better option than Cersei, and he believes in her, her people love her, Jon loves her, etc, and he’d totes appreciate it if they were at least allies, and he turns to leave as the camera pans close on Sansa’s face; she calls him back to spilleth the beans..eth.

Did I win?

As Jon is loading up his Horshon Wagon, Tormund jokes that he’s not riding the dragon down south. Jon laughs that Rhaegal needs a break; he doesn’t need Jon weighing him down.

Tormund says that he has had enough of “the south” and plans to take the Free Folk back Beyond the Not Wall through Castle Black. It’s not home, not where they belong. Or, suddenly, where Ghost belongs either after EIGHT YEARS.

Yeah, this is where I RAGE.

Jon insists the North is no place for a direwolf and asks Tormund to take Ghost with him back Beyond the Not Wall, where he knows no one, will be lonely, and have to contend with even colder weather than what he’s used to. Tormund tells Jon that he has the “real” North running through his veins and “maybe” they’ll meet again before he departs and Jon goes to HUG EVERYONE.

ALMOST.

RAGE! RAGE AGAINST THE JONCHINE!

I know, I know working with the CGI wolves is ExPeNsIvE, blah blah. I DON’T CARE. There are dragons that spit actual fire on this show. Y’all couldn’t substitute a real big, white, fluffy doggie so Jon could bid his furry friend a real goodbye?! This was the saddest scene in GoT history. Forget Ned’s beheading or even the Red Wedding. This right here is inhuman.

The episode’s director, David Nutter, tried to defend himself, weakly, by insisting he thought this way was more powerful. He obviously does not own dogs. Or any pets of any kind. He did not anticipate how much we all love our furry friends. As soon as the episode aired, Twitter lit up with #GhostDeservedBetter. Poor Ghostie. He lost an ear for you! You’re leaving forever. I snuggle my dogs when I just leave to go to the bathroom. I shall honor Ghost here, First of His Name, Protector of the Realms of Men, the One Eared and the White Furred, Warden of the North. Or at least Warden of the Woof.

I had to watch this portion a few times to get the right screenshots so now I must go snuggle my own doggies. And tell them they are my own little direwoofies and I will never ever leave them. Especially for King’s Landing.

Jon “I’m the worst Wolf Daddy in Westeros” Snow rides off and Sam, Gilly, Tormund, and Ghost watch him go, even after his owner slighted him, because he is the goodest boi on the continent.

On the way to Dragonstone, Tyrion has immediately spilled to Varys because let’s be honest: Jon’s true parentage was always going to stay a secret for about, meh, an hour? And now eight people know--Jon, Dany, Sansa, Arya, Tyrion, Varys, Sam, and BranBot. Which makes it less a secret and more info. If the internetz had existed back then, the whole of Twitter would’ve known within fifteen minutes. #JongonSnowgaryen would trend worldwide. Westeroswide?

I need to start following The_Mastr.

People like Jon. They follow Jon (even tho he’s a terrible pet owner). If this were to get out, Dany would lose the North--Winterfell and the Vale. Sansa would see to that.

Tyrion suggests marrying them and they could rule together. They love each other, but Varys ain’t so sure Jon could ever see beyond that whole “she’s his aunt” thing. And Dany doesn’t like to have her authority questioned. Then Tyrion cheerfully suggests that Cersei could end up killing them all anyway and that would solve their problems.

And then Guyliner Greyjoy comes out of nowhere and motherfucking shoots down Rhaegal!

I literally gasped “NOOOOOOOOO!” out loud when this happened. My animal-loving heart can only take so much, Game of Thrones. There’s a fan theory that technically we didn’t see Rhaegal die and two somethings appeared in the sky in the trailer for the next episode so he could come back with a vengeance. Please come back with a vengeance, Rhaegal.

Dany is furious that Captain Maybelline shot her baby and orders Drogon to make a beeline for him. But afraid for her other baby’s life, she turns at the last minute. Euron, annoyed that he only took down one dragon, instead aims for the boat carrying Team Daenerys, which explodes under the force of multiple scorpion arrows.

All of them swim to shore--all of them, except one. Just before the arrows flew, Grey Worm ordered Missandei to seek refuge on the skiff, and, when we shift to the castle gates, we see Cersei presiding over thousands of innocents who will be caught in the crossfire of war between her and Dany, her child (which she tells Captain Maybellne is his), and a captured Missandei.

In the War Room at Dragonstone--every Great House has a War Room, it seems--our merry band is presiding over a map of King’s Landing where Varys looks Dany in the eye and begs her not to attack the castle. They have Missandei, they killed Rhaegal, yes, but thousands of innocents are held inside the Red Keep, which is Cersei’s modus operandi. Varys pleads with her not to destroy the city she came to save but Dany believes she has a destiny to rid the world of tyrants, and she will fulfill it, no matter the cost.

That sounds vaguely culty, Dany. It wasn’t that long ago you were doing all you could to avoid a battle inside King’s Landing, cus you didn’t wanna destroy the city and the people you were gonna rule over. What happened? Don’t go all Aerys on us.

Tyrion suggests offering Cersei her life in exchange for the throne to avoid carnage. Dany knows Cersei will never go for it, but it’s good for PR, anyway. The people will know that Daenerys Stormborn tried to avoid bloodshed, and Cersei Lannister refused.

Take it back a few, Dany. Just a few, mkay?

At the hearth--there is always a hearth chat going on, and Dragonstone is no exception--Tyrion and Varys are having A Talk. Varys has served many tyrants, and they all talk about destiny and stuff. But, Tyrion negates, Dany has walked through fire and made dragons and lived, maybe she really is destined to rule the Seven Kingdoms.

Varys considers How To Solve A Problem Like Jon Snow. Who may not be a problem so much as a solution. Who would make a better ruler, Jon or Dany? Varys knows Jon doesn’t wanna rule, which is partly why he bent the knee, but maybe a good ruler would be someone who doesn’t want to rule at all.

And Jon’s a dude, which, in ye olden times, was important. Also why he’s got a tighter claim to the throne than Dany does. They’re talking treason right now. Tyrion accuses Varys of abandoning all of the kings he served under. Varys reaffirms that he will always serve what’s best for the realm and the people, thousands of whom will die if the wrong person sits on the throne.

Tyrion asks what happens to Dany and Varys gives him a look like “What do you think?”

At Winterfell, the Northerners are rebuilding while Sansa and Brienne are being all secret-like, talking in whispers and glancing at Jaime. He follows them, having the creeping sensation that they’re talking about something that pertains to him. When he asks what’s up, Brienne tells him that they just got word of Guyliner Greyjoy’s ambush on Dany’s ships, Rhaegal’s death, and Missandei’s capture.

And another for Jaime Reacting to Bad News screenshots:

BUT what exactly is he reacting to? That Cersei is going to die or that he isn’t going to do it himself?

That night, Jaime is watching Brienne sleep, then creeps outside to pack up his mighty steed to head back to the capital. Too bad Brienne wakes up and catches him. The city is going to be destroyed, they all know this. And Jaime doesn’t have to die alongside Cersei.

Jaime doesn’t think he’s a good man. He pushed a boy out of a window and crippled him for life (which led to him becoming BranBot) for Cersei. He strangled his cousin to get back to Cersei. He would’ve killed every man, woman, and child in Riverrun to get back to Cersei. She’s a monster. And so is Jaime.

And then he leaves and Brienne is heartsick and her POOR FACE.

THIS EPISODE IS KILLING ME.

But--and I know a lot of other people think this, too--after I wrung my hands a bit, I thought about this moment. I think Jaime’s going back to K.L. to off Cersei himself, leaving Brienne to believe he left because he thinks he doesn’t deserve her. It still SUCKS but it’s less sucky than thinking he’d rather have his twin sister’s V.

In said capital, the remaining Unsullied and Dothraki forces, along with Dany and her merry men, are lined up outside the gates. Cersei, Pirate von D, and Cersei’s ever lurking zombie Mountain are on the battlements with a chained Missandei. The camera sweeps to show both sides and when did King’s Landing get so FLAT?

Isn’t King’s Landing supposed to be all lush and hilly? What has Cersei done to the place?! This is Dubrovnik, ffs!

Creepy Qyburn comes out of the gates and Tyrion goes to meet him, Hand to Hand. Queen Daenerys demands Cersei’s unconditional surrender and the return of Missandei, unharmed. Queen Cersei demands Daenerys’ unconditional surrender. It’s a stalemate and they’re not getting anywhere so Tyrion tries to appeal to Creepy Qyburn’s logic. They have a chance to prevent bloodshed. To not cause the screams of thousands of children as hellfire is rained down upon them. It’s not a pleasant sound, Qyburn agrees. Alas, he still goes on about Cersei being the one true Queen so Tyrion pushes past him to speak to his sister himself.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are all--

Dany also thinks this is not a good idea.

Some of the Lannister army up on the battlements with Cersei and Co get their bows and arrows ready but as Tyrion approaches, Cersei waves them off with a smug smile. Calling up to her, Tyrion says he knows Cersei doesn’t care about the people of the Seven Kingdoms; they hate her and the feeling’s mutual.

He mentions her children, her unborn child. How she loved them more than life itself. And just because her reign is over doesn’t mean her life has to end, her her child has to die.

Just for a moment, one moment, it appears as if his words are getting to her. Cersei takes a deep breath, lets it out shakily. Lena’s acting in this instance is superb. And then, she crosses to Missandei as Dany and Grey Worm race toward the gate in alarm, and murmurs “If you have any last words, now is the time”.

Missandei’s last word?

With her last word, Missandei is telling Dany to fuck it all and burn King’s Landing to the ground.

Cersei gives zombie Mountain the nod to take off Missandei’s head, and poor Grey Worm can’t watch as the undead monster kills his girlfriend.

Dany shakes, turns, and walks away as Cersei smiles triumphantly.

The Mother of Dragons is so done fucking around, y’all.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh this episode was a ride. I wanted to wring SO many necks. Jon Snow, how does it feel to be the villain of the internet? Jaime, you best be headin’ back to K.L. to kill Cersei. Don’t you be breaking Brienne’s heart for nothing. Burn it all down, Dany! #Cleganebowl!

I am EXCITE for the penultimate ep. So EXCITE!

#game of thrones #game of thrones recap #game of thrones 8 #emilia clarke #Kit Harrington #nickolaj coster-waldau #gwendoline christie #kristofer hivju #Sophie Turner #maisie williams #jacob anderson #nathalie emmanuel #ghost #ghost deserves better #warden of the woof

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