#to define is to limit blah blah

[bigskydreaming]

Child heroes are always gonna be a complicated and murky topic that NEEDS to be handled with nuance, don’t get me wrong.

But that said, I will always hate edgelord takes that try and make Robin, the boy hero, a helpless victim of Bruce’s manipulations, who pushes him into vigilantism or just views him proprietarily or as a tool to be used.

Because to me that ignores the entire point of what Robin CAN stand for.

Since, after all - Robin is not actually a child capable of being endangered. He’s a character whose narratives are defined entirely by what narrative choices a writer CHOOSES to go with.....

And half the point of fiction, especially fiction that springs from genres that have no real-world equivalent for their settings, characters, tropes, etc....

Is to use fiction as a vehicle to see what results when not hindered by the limitations of reality. Anyone who’s followed me long knows that by this I don’t actually mean to use fiction to try and pretend its DIVORCED from reality, that it doesn’t reflect reality to any degree or say anything meaningful about reality that reflects it.....no. Not my point.

I’m saying that fiction is IMO best utilized as a tool not for how its capable of being lesser or more finite or limited than reality, but as a tool for how its capable of TRANSCENDING reality, and opening up avenues to explore MORE than we’re capable of exploring in strictly reality-based mediums.

“What if everything we know to be true of reality is still true, if all the emotions are still present, if the cause and effect of how actions beget consequences and emotions and these in turn beget more actions....what if that’s all still the same as reality....except for this ONE SPECIFIC way in which we eliminate that stricture, just to see what happens when we take that limitation off the table thanks to the fact that we know these characters don’t exist just to live their own fully autonomous lives, but rather are created, with intent, to tell a specific story for a specific reason.”

And THAT’S the distinction, IMO, that allows us to not say ‘oh stories about children who are heroes shouldn’t encompass the fact that children SHOULDN’T be in these situations, and can be hurt by them, and hurt in ways that will carry lasting impact and consequences that no child should ever have to contend with, if there’s any other option whatsoever’.....

But rather, to say ‘stories about children who are heroes SHOULD encompass the fact that children shouldn’t be in these situations, and can be hurt by them, and hurt in ways that will etc etc etc blah blah you get the point I’m literally just copying and pasting that last paragraph”.....

BUT. In ADDITION to all that.....

Fiction, and the opportunities afforded by writers innately having stewardship over where their own narrative takes the fictional characters they craft TO be steered through a particular narrative maze, in pursuit of a deliberately chosen endpoint and message.....

Also lets us craft stories where a child character, put into situations where any real world equivalent is likely to be harmed and traumatized due to the vulnerability that situation carries....

Can also at the same time be MORE than just a probable victim. 

Because fictional characters have an innate power that no real world equivalent has:

Fictional characters, by their nature, have the innate power to beat any particular odds their author wants them to beat.

And thus fictional characters, even ones who are put into positions that yes, agreed, no one should ever HAVE to be in.....WHILE aware that like it or not, there are always going to be real world individuals who relate to that positioning and DO see parallels to their own lives....

Thus fictional characters can become not just mirrors, or analogs, or proxies.....but actual symbols that inspire, that represent and stand for things that resonate with readers on multiple levels. Show glimpses of reality or our own lives not just as they are, but as we’d like them to be, as we might hope for them to be, as we sometimes NEED them to be.

For example:

Robin, a fictional child hero in the hands of narrators who make specific narrative choices with intent, in pursuit of guiding an over-arching story into a specific shape of their own choosing, to be whatever they want it to be, look like what they want it to look like.

That child hero, in the hands of a writer who wants to push a child endangerment narrative about how Robin’s very existence as a vigilante is child abuse, because there’s no real world equivalent in which he would have the power to fight Bruce’s choices for him here, if Bruce were determined to exploit his guardianship over Dick Grayson and MAKE him be Robin?

Well that gives us Robin, a traumatized orphan who is pushed by a guardian into doing things he doesn’t want to do and that aren’t for his benefit. And I mean, that’s a story, alright. Its even a story you can write if you want to. Its just not a story I want to read, because I’ve read that story a million times, a million ways. 

That’s every story about someone with power looking at someone younger, smaller, weaker, more vulnerable than them and saying ‘here’s how I choose to exploit power over this other person, because I want to and I can’.....just dressed up in a Robin costume.

But take that same child hero, in the hands of a writer who wants to push a narrative about how Robin’s very existence as a hero can speak to any number of readers who have ever empathized with being a traumatized child who feels alone, outmatched, surrounded by danger and dangerous people, and who wants to give said readers a narrative where they can look at that child they see parts of themselves in, and see that child against all odds, still somehow finding, taking and using power on his own behalf and that of others?

Well that gives us Robin, a traumatized orphan who is looked at by everyone stronger, older, bigger, more enfranchised than him....and seen as nothing BUT an inevitable victim, an easy mark, prey to be further traumatized, used, exploited, etc.....

Only to get their ASS handed to them by that kid instead. As he laughs in their faces for being so fucking dumb as to look at characteristics like ‘small’ and ‘vulnerable’ and ‘hurt’ and make the expected but faulty assumption that anyone described by those labels must also inherently be ‘weak’ and ‘helpless’ and ‘exploitable.’

And see, THAT’S the story that I look to Robin for. That’s what has me drawing from the well of Robin narratives in search of, or to create more of.  

THAT’S a story that I’m always gonna think we can use more of.

Because yeah. In real life? There’s no scenario in which what a kid in that kind of position MIGHT be able to stand for or represent, on the off chance that he somehow manages to beat the odds and win the day or not get traumatized to hell or back by the experience....is worth the risk of ever putting them in that scenario when there’s any possible way to avoid it, whatsoever.

And that’s what makes it so that in real life? Its absolutely true that even with the logistics of vigilantism and superheroes aside, you can NEVER have a figure like Robin, child hero, without that child’s heroism quite literally being child abuse and endangerment at the same time.

But in a fictional world?

The rules are different, because of the one ultimate narrative rule to rule them all (just in my personal ranking, to be clear. YMMV):

And no, its NOT actually ‘because these are fictional characters, and thus they can’t REALLY be hurt, and thus their hurts don’t matter.’

That take is bizarrely counter-intuitive and self-defeating IMO, because of fucking COURSE fictional characters’ hurts STILL MATTER, even though a fictional character isn’t actually ‘real’ and thus isn’t ‘really hurt.’

If fictional characters’ hurts DIDN’T MATTER, the entire genre of hurt/comfort quite literally WOULD NOT EXIST.

Because if readers didn’t perceive those characters’ hurts and comfort as mattering in any way, shape or form....what even would be the appeal of that genre?

Why would readers and writers be pre-occupied with hurts they see as ENTIRELY meaningless, on the grounds that they’re fictional hurts attributed to characters who aren’t real, y’know? It makes no sense. Fictional hurt and comfort don’t matter in the specific WAY that real world hurts and comfort matter to people experiencing nonfictional versions of those things, sure. Absolutely true.

But its not inherently a one to one comparison. Those fictional hurts of fictional people STILL MATTER to readers, just in different ways and to different degrees, and the very fact that they DO matter, do resonate, do mean something relatable, is the entire reason people read and write those kinds of stories in the first place.

If fictional pains didn’t matter, full stop, stories revolving ENTIRELY around fictional pains wouldn’t be any more marketable than stories that are several hundred words dedicated just to describing a tree that doesn’t exist.

And I mean, idk about you guys, but I’m pretty sure I can’t remember the last time I came across an AO3 story where a one chapter ode that simply says ‘here’s a tree. Its pretty. The end’ somehow racked up several hundred comments and kudos.

Death to this idea that fictional characters can’t really be hurt, and that’s the difference between reality and fiction because like a) you’re not TECHNICALLY wrong when you say this, but b) you’re not actually saying what it sounds like you’re saying and c) in all practicality, you’re not actually saying anything productive whatsoever, usually all while acting like you’ve just definitively won an argument BY saying this.

BUT I DIGRESS.

Anyway. Point is. So, like, no. That’s not the narrative rule that makes a child hero able to be more or other than JUST an inevitable child endangerment narrative.

The narrative rule that ACTUALLY makes all the difference here is:

A narrative is ALWAYS shaped by whatever choices the narrator CHOOSES for it.

The very odds that are an untenable risk that no one can justify expecting a real world equivalent of a character to take, or risk?

Are an entirely different beast, in the realm of fiction.

Because in fiction, those odds and whether or not a character gets to beat them, is one hundred percent ENTIRELY in the hands of the person shaping that narrative....as is the reason WHY a narrator might choose to let any given character beat particular odds, or be beaten by them instead.

THAT’S the difference.

[scumtrout]

This lunchtime I'm going to stare into the abyss and think about how much fantasy worldbuilding is centered around classifying factions by traits/abilities. You know how it goes: In the magical world of Dumptyfuck, there are five kingdoms: the Squeem, who are introverts with fire powers, the Ploot, who are extroverts with water powers, the Bunglety, who are blah with blah powers, the Grimp, who are socially avoidant and can levitate kitchen appliances with their minds, etc. For centuries, the 5 kingdoms have fought for the title of SUPREME ASSMONGER. However, everything changes when Bibbity, an unlikely Squeem, falls in love with Flange, an outcast Bunglety, blah blah blah rhubarb rhubarb gotta meet the ideal character limit for an Amazon book blurb.

Incidentally, I am saying this as someone who loves AtLA, which is probably the best example of 'there are N factions and they must kung fu fight'. There are great reasons for having neatly-defined factions beyond 'teenagers love this shit because then they get to do quizzes that tell them if they're a Dumptyfuck or a Squeem'. If done properly, it means the setting should have clearly defined magic rules that still allow a bit of leeway for creativity, providing a 'rock/paper/scissors' framework for combat that the author can then subvert. (And you can't subvert expectations unless those expectations have been set beforehand.)

But man I recently tried to sit through a youtube vid where a critic described the factions of Lightlark and I felt like I was having to listen to Vogon Poetry. I'm not even convinced yet that Lightlark is actually bad (since I haven't read it!), but I didn't get too far into the video before I decided, 'got it, so the setting is 'Changing: The Dreaming' barfed on the coat of 'Avatar: The Last Airbender', I am now ready to move on with my life and go back to thinking about better books'.

[je-suis-tombee-sur]

Jean Baptiste Talbourdet: the one who staging Robert

The front page of M, le magazine du Monde caught my eye. I saw a close up shoot on two eyes. I can recognize those eyes with ease. I know him but not really. That’s why when I found this revue lost in a pile with others, I couldn’t resist to take it. Robert Pattinson is going to reveal his new face by the help of someone calling Jean Baptiste Talbourdet. J.B is not journalist but painter. Or rather what we call an artistic director. Robert is his subject. What’s going to be designed ? 

Page 7_ As usual, I start by read the editorial. Blah blah blah « back to school », blah blah blah « book review » blah blah blah « he’s central and side, here and elsewhere ». These words define Robert Pattison. The managing editor describes a complexe person. Rob seems be someone that we misunderstand. The portrait that I will discover is the one of a mature actor. If you don’t know who he is, we better know him for his role in the teenage saga Twilight. A step that is over for the Hollywood star. We will see how Talbourdet illustrated it through his graphic choices. 

Page 27_ Who is behind these pictures? The talent in the he work of J.B is the message he gives by his collage that open the article devoted to Pattinson. Two pictures superimposed. The most sexy of Robert is hidden by an other one of the actor in a relaxed posture. This composition means that Robert wants define himself with a new image, more imperfect. We can also mention the first sentence of the article « L’affranchi. » that is highlighted by J.B by a bold weight and a bigger body text. The actor admits clearly a break with his former career and invite us to forget his acting in the famous blockbusters he did.  

Page 28/29_ On the following double page, we can admire the place gives for the graphic composition.  What a surprise to discover the drop cap of the paragraph overlay the all page. The big « R » of the actor’s name is too showy whereas the actor on the photography try to hide. The text explains this problem. Rob is too famous to go unnoticed. His fan interrupted the filming he did, the lack of maturity of his audience is something shameful for the actor. That’s why he wants to be known by a new one. 

Page 31_ Scotch, rolls of film, polaroids are join together. J.B chooses the mess. We can feel by this kind of layout a crafty aspect in the approach of Rob. He wants to participate at new styles of films that are more independent. I was touching by the sincerity of his love for this film genre because he don’t really care about money. He prefers play in low cost movies. I think the collage accentuates that. The written transcript of the interview certify what he said. Rob entrusts himself as if he really wrote these sentences. An other close up shoot express it. The real Robert is talking, not the actor but the person.

Page 32_ To finish, Robert is a simple human being. The issue of this portrait is to desacralized his fame. The article describes a shy boy with a lack of confidence. He’s not the hero depicted by the Hollywood Industry. The use of a cursive script shows the modesty and sensitivity of Robert. I discover someone discret. He doesn’t talk about his personal life and stays professional. This article is useful to remember that I shouldn’t know more about him. It highlights the limits of the fame and presumes the respect of the actor’s life. I realized by this reading how difficult is to acting in a teenage film. Thanks to it I can precise the role of an actor that plays roles that are not himself and true. Also the actor evolves and grows up. Robert can’t stay the young innocent actor he was and I really understand his disgust about the cult he got. 

   I hope this article is a way for him to say goodbye to his past and the image that people kept of him. I hope his fans have grow up and remember his role in Twilight as a souvenir. On the 2nd of September 2017, the date of the magazine, Rob turns over the page and I imagine the article can help us to do the same. A new image is given and more assumed by the strength of the layout that Jean Baptiste Talbourdet suggests. Which goes to show how meaningful are editorial’s choices ! 

2022/10/16

3374 types

[goodnighttexas]

watched half of movie yangs power is the only one I like bc hers is the most similar to her weapon and is firey like her semblance. rubys is. okay. at least it’s similar to her normal semblance. Blake got the can be what ever is most convenient for the plot power and weiss doesn’t have a power which is chill I just. yknow wish she’d. yknow not stuck her hands out once and said oops no powers for me and instead tried multiple times? put a little more oomph in it? not immediatly resign herself to that? it’s weiss. I know she’s grown and I love her for it but I wish she was still a bit bitchy. especially about this? stupid ducking world doesn’t even give her powers it takes hers away and for WHAT??? she was by herself I think it would be totally fair of her to go OH COME ON WORK WORK WORK POWERS NOW PLEASE and then resign herself to nigh defenselessness and go UNFAIRRRR. because. it is. rip weiss. also. not a justice league guy these powers. are like. what. I hate the green lantern thing why is. why. yeah wow amazing insta transport bubble blah blah whatever see okay at least with rwby. I know. what they can do. ruby can turn into rose petals and move around all fast weiss has. hee glyphs which are less defined but whatever- it’s better than this bullsgit. blake has her shadow clones and Yang goes on a rampage.

like. limitations on things and figuring out what will work and how to get around these with what you’ve got is. very good. and enjoyable. and not super boring. being able to do everything ever on a whim is. very boring. get creative with it. please. plweeeeasseeeeee they do too much it’s too BOOORING. literally the one I like the most is canary because she has ONE THING. and even then like. whatever okay look I feel like she’d be useful in very specific circumstances which are not the ones she’s put in but it’s okay because she just needs to give what she’s got but I wish. someone who can do literally anything because these powers are stupid could like. help her out help her play more to her own strengths. single grim out for her to attack on her own. she gets a good long scream at one concentrated target I think that would be good but Whatevrr

#okay rant over #anyway love rwby. kind of. it’s fun I like it okay it’s world is very interesting to me #this? coughs not my thing #I liked the other one better. bc it was. my rwby. the world my characters w their powers blah blah

[metaphilosophia]

DATA SINGULARITY

Have you ever heard the true meaning of Data Singularity? Don't look to the other sides, just look at here.

Imperfect Definition

It's like defining something. A definition is never complete, just contextual.

When we define something, it must involve all the possibilities that exist.

Example: what is philosophy? Love of wisdom? Contextually correct but not 100% correct. How?

Defining what philosophy is, in a perfect way, must be clarified 100%.

That means, philosophy is:

loving wisdom,

doesn't mean eating lunch,

doesn't mean singing children's songs,

doesn't mean chewing gum,

doesn't mean drinking coffee,

doesn't this & that, ... blah blah blah.

That's how it should define something perfectly. All possibilities must be ascertained.

If so, then we can never define precisely? Yes!

Similarly when someone claims that his reasoning system is complete? It can't be?

That any reasoning formula that has been successfully programmed into a computer to be able to simulate artificial intelligence to match humans? Again, it can't be. Helping humans? Yes it's possible, but conquer human? Nope.

Because the reasoning formula of any logical system is like defining reality in a narrow way. So only have a limited point of view.

One or Trillion Formulas

Then, how can artificial intelligence be able to dynamically approach human analysis? HOW MUCH MORE FORMULA IS NEED? OR IS THERE A SINGLE FORMULA?

THERE IS NO SINGLE FORMULA! So how many formulas do you need? IT NEEDS AS MANY DIMENSIONS OF TRUTH & DETAILS. WHAT? ️

Yes, it takes trillions trillions trillions of logical systems beyond all of them.

Beyond Aristotelian logic, induced logic, what else? Beyond symbolic logic? Beyond "Sequent Calculus" Logic? Beyond what's more? Beyond Boolean logic, Venn diagram logic, tautology? YES, YES & YES!

Then how can we do it? If viewed from the singularity, there is indeed a single system, namely the axiomatic system, but how many axioms involved? As many facts as there are. What does that mean?

Quanta Logical System

Every axiomatic truth is actually a logical system. So how many items of the reasoning formula are there? As many as axiomatic truth about anything that exist - happening.

SO WHAT KIND OF THE SIMPLE LANGUAGE, PATTERNS OR THE MOST ADVANCED REASONING SYSTEM CAN WE USE? HEHEHE ...

Injecting vs Thinking

Just one, CONTINUOUSLY SUPPLYING AXIOMS,

INJECTING AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WITH AXIOMATIC TRUTH.

Then does that mean we never thinking at all? Yes.

So the best we can do? By not thinking. But imagining - deep empathy, so that suddenly we will downloading axioms. This is where animal unable to do it

Remember, formula is just narrowing our point of view. So to liberate our point of view, by rejecting all formulas and accept quanta truth of all possibles that exist

FUTURE OF Artificial Intelligence

So, the future of artificial intelligence? No longer needed: RNN, Transformer, Bayesian, Aristotle Logic System, Sequent Calculus, and so forth. However, artificial intelligence relies entirely on axiom data as much as the problem at hand, or if not? Then the simulation of intuition will always be impossible, and? Don't expect artificial intelligence to be able to philosophize, except just predicting.

No axiomatic data supply? Artificial intelligence is only able to generalize statistically, not generalizations as they are.

No axiomatic data supply? Artificial intelligence is only able to see reality incompletely.

REMEMBER: MACHINE CAN ONLY FIND THE CONCLUSION, BUT NEVER BE A TRUTH VOYAGER

TRUTH VOYAGER CAN ONLY BE OBTAINED BY INJECTING AXIOMS, THAT'S ALL WE MUST AWARE OF

THIS IS THE TIME WHERE ONLY ONE TYPE OF DATA IS NEEDED, THAT IS AXIOM, AND NO LOGICAL FORMULA IS REQUIRED FOR ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

DATA SINGULARITY? It's AXIOM

#data #truth #axiom #singularity #data singularity #singularity data #artificial intelligence #logical system

[pallases]

Virginia Woolf, Orlando / Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet / David Wojnarowicz, Close to the Knives: A Memoir of Disintegration / Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray / Anna Akhmatova / Clarice Lispector, The Passion According to G.H. / Leigh Bardugo, Ninth House / MARINA, “Oh No!” / George Herbert, “The Collar” / Mary Oliver, “Moments”

#words #parallels #web weaving #mine #my text #my edit #good evening 🤪 #the third one in particular makes me want to spontaneously combust <3 #to be honest the Clarice Lispector one doesn’t quite fit in here bc it’s more a LACK of a defined identity that is the goal here #to define is to limit blah blah #so sick of being the one holding myself back so sick of the restraints of myself and society etc etc #just. #freedom #anyway #the self #suppression #i’m sick to death of this particular self. i want another

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

[300iqprower]

Okay really the more i think about it the more pissed i get: WHY THE FUCK ARE SO MANY CLASSES GENDERLOCKED?!

You wanna make Ashe, who loves fairy tales and aspires to knighthood, a pegasus knight? Fuck you.

You wanna make Catherine, a warmonger who excels in unarmed combat, a war master? Fuck you.

You wanna make Linhardt, who excels in faith and magic and gameplay wise is a parallel to fellow Black Eagle Hubert, a Gremory? Fuck you.

You wanna make Leonie, who idolizes Jeralt and the lifestyle of mercenaries, a Hero? FUCK YOU.

There’s a great post i’m gonna link, because for once i arrive at a discourse years late and find i’m in the majority opinion, that explains very well why this is so problematic. The main points are that past games used class restriction to tell story while 3h doesn’t, and the second is that it’s counterintuitive to one of 3H’s main if not it’s outright biggest gameplay innovation after the persona elements.

In past games, class systems were far more restrictive. In fact in games before Sacred Stones (8+ entries in) it was typical for promotions to be entirely predetermined and even then Sacred Stones only gave you two options. It wasn’t until Awakening things really got shaken up. Fast forward to three houses and it blows Awakening/Fates outta the water in how many options you have. Almost all restrictions have been removed, making gender lock as a concept that much more damning REGARDLESS of whether you think it’s also reductive from an ethical standpoint. And on that messy note even if you want to get into all that lemme remind you that 1. female npcs can be things like war masters why tf cant our female units AND 2. SEVERAL RESTRICTED UNITS HAVE NORMALLY BEEN NON GENDER LOCKED IN PREVIOUS GAMES. So we immediately know there’s no precedent and it’s arbitrary bullshit! Dark Magic is a male only thing? SINCE WHEN?! We’ve had multiple major villains in the series who are women that specialize in dark magic! THARJA, ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR CHARACTERS IN THE FRANCHISE’S HISTORY IS A FEMALE DARK MAGE! The Hero class we know today debuted with a female character in Echidna of FE6 after several games of being retooled! There is literally no reason for any class besides Pegasus, Valkyrie, and War Monks/Clerics to be gender locked, 3 of which are dlc, 2 of which are just palette swaps of each other, 1 is justifiable quite literally in name alone, and of the remaining one that was also the only one not introduced with dlc, frankly no one who plays these games for the right reasons would have actually cared if they ditched the “pegasi hate men because pure maidens only blah blah” thing.

Which brings me to why this pisses me off so much cause it’s actually not because i think this sort of things is inherently reductive, it can be done well and add to both narrative and world building, and it’s not because of gameplay, in fact restrictions like this are a way to prevent balancing from being an absolute nightmare where nothing is allowed to be TOO fun out of fear it’ll break any challenge (a core pillar of why i hate pvp and free to play models in general)

The big issue is…it completely goes against what I and no doubt many others love about how Awakening opened up the class change system. It goes against the idea of shaping a team based on a combination of personal playstyle and headcanons about the characters. This goes as far back as FE8 where things like Armor Amelia became so popular FEH confirmed it as her canon promotion. This goes back to before you could even choose promoted classes in Geneology where people would use the inheritance mechanic to make skillsets they personally believed fit the character’s personality. Fire Emblem as a series is VERY big on personal attachment to characters, i mean its original defining mechanic of unit permadeath is built on emotional attachment to characters. It uses limited supports that rely heavily on personal interpretation and assumptions to encourage you to form your own idea of its characters and how they would interact. In other words, Headcanons are very much a core part of Fire Emblem as a series. Not only does gender lock essentially forbid certain headcanons thereby immediately telling the player they are “wrong” to form a personal connection that doesn’t fit a specific mold, 3 Houses has several characters that are built with certain implied canon in mind and how it uses that to tell stories, (Felix for example having proficiency in fists because of his personal philosophy of the entire body as a weapon with it being counterintuitive to cavalry classes and disincentivizing making him into one of the knight classes he is known to hate) it also has several characters who are in an opposite position where their design is completely CONTRADICTED by the gender lock rather than built upon like those I mentioned above. The worst offenders are easily F!Byleth (because Seiros literally uses hand to hand combat in the OPENING CUTSCENE) and Leonie (because the Hero has long been established as the ultimate form of the mercenary class) with special mention to Ingrid because while you CAN make her a paladin and Dark/Holy/Great Knight, her default is Pegasus/Falcon knight for as far as i know literally no reason except she’s a woman. She speaks of being an ideal knight and everyone equates her to such and she does so to be like her explicitly male fiancé, but without so much as mention of Pegasi she’s intended as a pegasus knight rather than a paladin, despite female paladins having been in this game since 10+ entries ago and Ingrid and Sylvain literally being the closest thing FE3H has to christmas cavaliers. So whether intentional or not it all comes off as “she’s a physical female unit so obviously she has to be the pegasus knight” and to give example of all my talk of headcanons, it goes against my personal attachment to the character as a Holy/Great Knight tank who’ll never lose anyone ever again. But at the very least i can defy the game’s intentions and reclass her as I choose, even if i have to notably struggle against the grain to do so. Leonie doesn’t have even that, because my personal idea of Leonie of someone who wants to become a world renowned mercenary, a HERO if you will, is basically axed and I have to settle for making her a Paladin -> Great/Bow Knight after Jeralt.

Anyways i’ve pretty much made my point and don’t know how to end this so Merry Christmas (Cavaliers) I guess.

#video game analysis #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #linhardt von hevring #leonie pinelli #ashe ubert #catherine fire emblem #rant #i wasted too much time on this #like 2 hours #because i fact check obsessively every statistic I ever mention #fun fact a Gremory was described as a beautiful demonic woman but also explicitly uses make pronouns. #*male* goddamnit #ingrid brandl galatea #I originally had a concise poiny but as usual it devolved into #word vomit #yes that Axed line was a pun

[itsclydebitches]

I think the characters being afraid of magic despite semblances being seen as normal could've been a really cool idea... if there was any thought given to the worldbuilding implications of it. "Normal" is a matter of perception after all. If we were given some in-universe delineation between the two, some acknowledgement that the characters see semblances as normal but the difference in magic freaks them out out for some reason, that could've really made Remnant feel like a world people live in.

Oh yeah, my problem is absolutely with the lack of work put into separating the two concepts as opposed to the general idea of, "Something that's weird to us is normal to them, but this other weird, new thing is shocking." Basically, you need that delineation of semblances, magic, and the crucial differences between the two that would invoke horror and unease in a person from Remnant. However, RWBY's setup does incredibly little in that regard.

First, semblances are just way too broad. Some people can channel energy through their bodies. Other people can control minds. Some people can influence emotions. Others can briefly turn into objects. Etc. etc. Semblances are introduced as an ability that has no limits in regards to how it manifests — endlessly unique traits to mirror the endlessly unique souls of humanity, perhaps? — and while that's lots of fun for the action webseries, it means that in-world people are primed for everything to be "normal." Based on the variety we see, anything is possible.

Second, compounding that is the fact that semblances don't have categories or any clear way of defining certain types (in-world I mean. The fandom has done some of that work for RT), thereby missing out on the idea that if someone had a semblance that didn't fit into an established classification, they might find it weird. Instead, everyone hears about each individual's power as they go along, re-emphasizing that "Everything weird is normal" mentality. It's not "Yes, I have a version of a speed semblance, one of the ten known categories of abilities" but rather, "Yeah, I can absorb this resource straight into my skin, she basically has extreme reflexes, and he creates clones of himself to fight at his side. Absolutely none of these abilities have any uniform commonalities and none of us have ever tried to organize them."

Third, the show introduced the concept of hereditary semblances, further broadening the idea of what is "normal."

Fourth, the show introduced the concept of passive semblances, further broadening the idea of what is "normal."

Fifth, the show (again) introduced the concept of semblances dramatically changing over time blah blah you get the idea.

Sixth, the characters don't just use semblances in battle, but dust as well. The primary difference that I can see (visually) between semblances and maiden powers is that the latter is solely elemental. RT might have crafted a world where semblances are explicitly everything but naturally occurring elements. There's no way to use those in a standard battle, so someone who shows up summoning a gale is like... really weird. Instead, we have characters like Cinder who can superheat objects and, more importantly, a world built around dust. It's powering your city, sewn into your clothes, and an asset to your weapon. Now, someone summoning up wind isn't shocking. That's just Weiss during the Vytal tournament, entertaining the crowd.

Finally, we're still left with two smaller differences, but the show hasn't capitalized on either. First is that magic, unlike a semblance, can be passed to different people (if we ignore the similarities with hereditary semblances, anyway) and the second is that magic can outlast aura reserves, potentially making the caster far more formidable. But we've seen no evidence that the characters are culturally discomforted by some "unnatural" ability changing them (if anything, most are eager to get their hands on these powers), aura is so inconsistent there's no clear portrayal of a Maiden being able to outlast the average fighter, and that doesn't even begin to deal with the fact that RWBY made aura not just the semblance power source, but the protective shield as well. A Maiden might be able to still shoot fire without their aura, but that's not going to keep them from being K.O.ed by someone's attack when they are, physically, just a normal human now. So... how useful is magic really? Especially now that we've seen multiple characters — Winter and Wiess most notably — taking on a Maiden without aura. None of that helps sell the idea that magic is fundamentally different, let alone better or even horrifying. Imagine a version of Remnant where if someone continued a fight without aura, continuing to do those magic-y things, it would be so unfathomable that their opponent just stands there, dumbfounded, freaked the fuck out. Like managing to run a marathon on two shattered legs; it's just not natural. Instead, losing your aura is just like, "Okay, time to keep going, but now I'll have a cut on my cheek to show the danger."

So yeah, very cool cultural concept in theory, but little work done to pull it off. A shocking moment like, "You turned them into birds?" needs far fewer abilities, or a LOT of explanations for how to distinguish these abilities. As it stands, we have semblances, dust, aura, Humanity 1.0 magic (Ozpin), Maidens, and Silver Eyes, all of which overlap in ways that imply a Remnant that would shrug when the latest crazy thing to pops up, not question why this guy has Give You Bird Transformation Powers when your sister's already got Rose Petal Transformation Powers When I Go Really Fast and also Split My Body into Three Sections When I Go Really Fast and also Carry a Limitless Number of People When I Do It Either Of the Above Things.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

[kallikrein]

Can you please explain what a drabble, scenario and a timestamp is? I’m so confused 

hi nonnie! i’m not sure if my own categorization is correct, but this is how i define them:

a drabble is a short fic that’s only (supposed to be) a hundred words long. though the term is used in most fandoms even if the fic itself exceeds the hundred-word count limit.

a scenario, like the word itself, is a scenario. it’s the scene that plays out in the fic, similar to an ‘imagine’. an inaccurate example would be: “imagine a scene where person A confessed their love to person B and blah blah…” something like that. most scenarios are used as prompts or headcanons.

a one-shot is a stand-alone story and is usually a thousand words long. so it shouldn’t have a part two/part three because that wouldn’t be a one-shot anymore but a series.

EDIT : I’M SORRY I MISREAD ‘TIMESTAMP’ AS ‘ONE-SHOT’ LMAO IDK HOW PLS DON’T ASK ME

a timestamp is a short story written in a hurry. personally, that’s what i do. i put the time i started writing it and then post it once i’ve written the idea down. it could be a drabble or a scenario, whichever. i don’t recommend doing it though, it’s prone to errors haha.

i don’t know if i got it right. this is just my personal erm understanding of these words. please do correct me if i’m saying the wrong information lgmdksks :’D

#[ 💌 ] — from anon #so funny i misread timestamp as one-shot <3 :’)

[lilisouless]

I´m gonna do a little reading experiment

Ok , so many of you are familiar with SJM , people here love her or hate her, i kind of want my opinion here and i can't give critics without taking a peck, so i´ll read the first chapters or both ACOTAR AND TOG , i´ve seen the plot and doesn't call to me.Also...SJM kind of writes like those "men writing women" memes except well, she is a woman.

My interest is maybe find if there are characters (the thing i mostly look for in a work) that can get my attention and make me keep reading, maybe one of this books turn into a guilty pleasure.

If i don't like then i´ll take this as an experience i´m sharing on here. My critism to SJM could only be limited since this is the first book on each series and maybe she got better there.

I won't be having all the books, i don't have the time or energy, the challenge here is seeing if i can get trought the first one and maybe like one of them.Who knows.

Let´s hit it: Throne of Glass

Celeana:

-She is weird, she is supposed to be a prisioner and keeps thinking if the people around her is pretty or not

-Prince here are tought to be...repugnant? what kind of weird ass worldbuilding is this? If this is setting up something interesting, i could be on board but right now is a really awkward way to setting Celaena (i won't always spell her name right) as having prejudice against royalty but this are the first pages,doesn't have a great impact

-Celaena´s narcisim and self image obsetion has to be her fatal flaw or i won't take it

-Like, i´ll take a protagonist with Celeana´s personality if it was well fleshed out, which i don't know if is the case here.But my great problem is: it doesn't quite fit an assasin. She is unsubtle, likes to be noticed,which could work from SOME assasin characters (Ex: that villain from The Nevers) but Celeana doesn't seem crazy ,why is she exactly an assasin?

-"No soy tonta, aunque cometí la estupidez de dejar que me capturasen" mija...te tengo malas noticias.

-Celinita celestina, creo que te has de haber graduado por palanca de la academia de acesinos.

-Enought with her, concensus?:

I don't "like" her but...strangely i may keep on with her as a guilty pleasure. Like those people who hate watch riverdale ( I don't i can't stomach it) Celeana doesn't strike me as a well writen character at first sight .BUT , i can take it as Dunyasha in another life, if i don't take her seriously i can have some fun reading her. My main problem is pretty much how much she doesn't make sense but,maybe i can live with that.

Celaena passes the test, unintentionaly and for the wrong reasons but she passes

-OHOHOHOH.I wrote too soon, she is a female mysoginist, of course she is. Yeah, i will never like her as a person,let´s cross fingers that i´ll take her as a character.

Dorian

-Alright, i did laught at him complaining about Celaena´s smell, is just funny how shameless he is.He is a stiff rich and privileged kid...i may like him

-Dorian...you sure you want to offer fredom to this girl? she is kind of nuts

-"esa" 🤣🤣🤣

-Unfortunetaly, his POV is not really the big deal, is just a paragraph on how beautiful Sar...ahem,Celeana is and that´s it, what a wasted change to expand him.

Chaol-

-I don't really have a lot to say about him, but i think he is fine

-He is a little generic til now and too serious but i actually like his banther with Cealeana and is a legit good contrast ,like those two and Dorian have a potential for a power trio

-No voy a mentir , el "¿estas casado? / yo tampoco😏" me mató

You know what? if nothing specially bad happens that makes me quit the book , i´ll may actually read it all for the fun,although i don't promise anything. Just the first one,the key is not taking it seriously.

Now: ACOTAR

Feyreh

-Ok, she likes painting, a hobbie is always something that makes a protagonsit a little more relatable

-Si,si mija ya entendí que eres tan pobre que no puedes ni prestar atencion

-But...her whole dylema with the arrow is conffusing, i am having trouble to get her personality , doesn't feel nuanced , it feels more,cultered

-YA DALE CON LA FLECHA O MÉTETE PA TU CASA PERO HAS ALGO C*ADOS!!!

-WithCindy and El geek are right, how is she soo poor but as soon as she can afford fcking food she buys a strange and expensive arrow,doesn't make sense

-If this is setting Feyreh as materialistic i´m on it, BUT make it with self awareness ,since right now it just seems convenient

-Alright, Feyre being a painter right now seem like an excuse for purple prose

-I really can't point her personality ,she is just ...blah,generic and i´m surprised since i´d asume SJM´s lead female would improve ,Celeana is not great at all but at least she is defined ,Feyre is just like any female lead in all fantasy lit

-Nope, sorry Feyre but ...nope, i don't hate you but i´m nowhere charmed by you and you don't make me want to continue this.Failed test.let´s see if you supporting cast saves your series

Elain & Nesta

-So one is mean and the other is dump

You know what? i´ll just skip to the most talked characters here

Tamlin:

-Not sure yet,he seems boring but maybe he is just quiet

-I kind of fell asleep thinking about this guy

Lucien:

-I like Lucien actually , the argument between Feyre and Tamlin is kind of generic banther but his interventions are kind of good

-Call her out Lucien

-Is official, i may not continue the reading but Lucien is my boy

-I´d root for him to be the main love interest (i know he is not, i know not even Tamlin is) but he deserves better than Feyre honestly

Rhysand:

-Since this guy went, acording to tumblr,some character growth later on, this is probably like the case of Zoya in S&B or Jamie in ASOIAF , anything i could say about him here may not apply to his character in later books.

-Alright, i am not charmed by him, he seems to have an interesting backstory, has more personality than Feyre and Tamlin

-But, his character type is a personal pet peeve, characters that are overall: hot. His whole personality and actions revolves on them being the author´s fantasy hot guy and...that never does it for me. This is a personal thing since most people would call it the female gaze but ,like i said: for me it´s a no.

-Me when Lucien interacts with Rhysand:

So...no, i won't continue ACOTAR , but Lucien it was nice to meet you.In my mind,you had a happy ending and that´s it.

#lili reads #this is too much negativity #little positivity #so the taggs shall be: #anti sarah j maas #or better #sarah j maas critical #anti acotar #acotar critical

[fuckyeahasexual]

I'm sorry I was just wondering why asexuality was the only sexuality openly said to be a spectrum while for example being lesbian is not? There is no grey lesbian or demi lesbian is there (not referring to SAM there)? I'm just really confused as to why demisexuality and greysexuality aren't their own sexualities like any other?

Please don’t get me started about how the labels historically had more flux before policing became such a meme to get rid of the “unworthy” or the “lacking of gold star”. Please instead read here about that if you are so interested.

Now your question is hey, why aces have a spectrum of identity and not others labels? Wa-bam! Other labels do have a spectrum and I can show you instead of just saying communities simply allowed it before.

This is The Kinsey scale used in research to describe a person's sexual orientation based on one’s experience. The scale typically ranges from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to a 6, meaning exclusively 1948!! (Asexuals were x on this list we’ll get back that later)

Now I personally refer to anything from 1-5 as bisexual. 1-5 would be a “bisexual scale”. There’s no practical use for bisexuals to differentiate themselves but you will see biphobia on anyone not a 3. And in bi communities any differences between 1-5 are just labeled as preference.

Now let’s say, someone is a 5 but really believes and likes and finds self value and worth in being gay. According to a strict (and overly cruel) Kinsey reading they aren’t “exclusively homosexual” but they get to draw their own lines for their own identity and label. But with another overly strict and cruel labeling using terms that were never designed to play together applied to snap shot of sexuality a 5 that feels like a lesbian hypothetically could be a grey lesbian. But again that’s not how the community is organized and really a misuse of ace terms because asexuality is X (Still getting to this!!)

I also know plenty of 1 / 1.5 straight people who personally draw the line of themselves and say I’m not bisexual. That’s also their absolute right as a person.

I believe your confusion point of “why do aces have a spectrum, and not others” is hopefully cleared up. Other sexualities have a spectrum it’s just not their focus.

Okay so why is it an ace focus?

So the Kinsey scale is a crude 2D map from heterosexuality to homosexuality. Now Kinsey’s X of asexuality is another axis. From allosexuality to asexuality. And since that axis is really only important to denote limited to no sexual attaction it’s in our benefit to stay grouped together. Similar to how it’s in bisexuals benefit to stick together because they are defined by their multi-gendered attraction and aces are defined by their lack of gendered attraction. And just like how it’s biphobia to be like “ew get out of here 2” it’s acephobia for people to be like “ew get out of here demisexual you’re your own thing, we’re the pure ones.” Like blah makes me sick to even type.

So I’m recap! All sexualities have a spectrum! Since the binary of heterosexual to homophobia is so ingrained it’s commonly and most easily referred to as 3 different labels. The only thing left is people being cruel to each other about it and trying to ignore that fact. And aces have a visible spectrum because it’s another axis that needs visibility to be understood. There’s been plenty of critism of the Kinsley scale because it’s again a limited 2D binary but for introduction to the spectrum of human sexuality I think it’s still a good touch stone

#articles #ref #tw for ts #ask box #anonymous #asexual #asexuality #demisexual #acephobia #biphobia #homophobia

[amanda-glassen]

Dirty Thirty

Serena has a surprise for Jamie’s 30th birthday.

Collaboration with @justalittleghostwriter

Part One

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror with Becca reminded Serena of their sorority days. They had done this countless times; touching up their hair and makeup as an excuse to talk in private. 

Serena pulled her best friend toward her and grabbed a tube of lipstick from her purse to reapply Becca’s lipstick. “Okay, do the finger test.”

“Do it for me,” Becca insisted. “If you can’t do it, how are you gonna handle tonight?”

They had read about the finger test in some beauty magazine when they were in college. So as not to get lipstick on your teeth, it was recommended that you put your finger inside your mouth to collect all the excess lipstick. Becca and Serena had found it more effective than a napkin and, it was while drunkenly doing the finger test when they were in their sorority house, that their relationship went from platonic to something that they didn’t know how to define.

“It’s not like parts of you haven’t been in my mouth already.” Becca held her close, rubbing her nose against hers, causing Serena to smile. She didn’t know how Becca did it, but she’d go from flirting with her to being cute in a matter of seconds and it was always when Serena needed it the most. “About tonight,” Becca pulled away so she could comb her fingers through Serena’s hair. “Are you still okay? We don’t have to and Jamie doesn’t know about it so it’s not like you’d have to worry about disappointing her.”

“Even if she knew, she wouldn’t be disappointed. Jamie would never force me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. She reminds me of you in a lot of ways.”

“But I’m the girl version?”

“We’re finished here.”

“We are not,” Becca laughed. “I know you and Jamie are soft and sweet and blah blah blah but tell me what I’m working with here.”

“Working with?”

“How big is she?”

Serena blushed. “As big as I want her to be.”

Becca squeezed her shoulders. “I think I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time. With a guy, you’re just stuck with what he has. And do not make another one of your ‘you’ve been married three times’ comments. You know how marriage works. The first one is for love, the second one is to get over the first one, and the third one is for the alimony.”

Serena watched as Becca reapplied her translucent powder. When they first met, she had felt like a child in comparison to her even though they were only one year apart, but the more time they spent together, the more Serena realized it was all in her head. Becca loved her just as much as she loved Becca.

“This is not what powdering your nose meant when our moms were our age,” Becca smirked. “I don’t get it. I just--I don’t wanna have that much energy. Unless...maybe we take some and we can fuck Jamie all night.”

“What?” Serena asked in disbelief.

“I’m kidding, Serena,” Becca said as she grabbed Serena’s hand. “I was trying to make you laugh again and put you at ease. Let’s talk about the rules, okay? What’s off limits? This isn’t my first threesome, but this is my first with someone I love and I don’t want to make anything awkward between you and Jamie.”

Serena leaned against the wall, her hands covering her face, somewhat in disbelief that she was actually going to go through with this, but it was Jamie’s 30th birthday and she knew it was her wife’s fantasy. Although she wouldn’t admit it to Jamie, it had also been her own and she was wet just thinking about Becca riding Jamie.

Serena looked over at her best friend, still waiting for an answer. How did I get so lucky? She and Jamie are both so cute and considerate. “Nothing is off limits.”

Fifteen minutes had passed since they had started touching up their hair and makeup and Serena knew Jamie would soon be worried about where they had gone, so they decided to make their way back to the living room where the remaining party guests were. It was only Kyle, Lexie, Jamie, and Jamie’s friend Blake remaining (none of which Serena considered guests anymore, but she wanted to be a good hostess). 

“What’s the deal with Jamie’s friend?” Becca asked. “She taken? I’m not looking for anything serious, just someone to be on call when I need my holes plugged.”

“Rebecca!”

“What?” Becca smiled. “I bet she’s hung.”

“She is,” Serena blurted out.

“You fucked her?” Becca playfully smacked her arm. “You slut! Why didn’t you tell me? I need to know everything.”

Her first threesome was definitely something she could have bragged about, but the romantic in her felt as if it would have cheapened what she experienced. She had been completely taken by the two of them, but at the same time, she had never felt so safe or cared for and the fact that they both held her after was an added bonus. 

“What do you need to know?” Lexie asked. “What did I miss?”

But Serena’s threesome was no longer Becca’s priority once she was in the room with Blake again. “Is this seat taken?” she asked as she stood in front of her.

“Don’t fall for it, Blake,” Kyle said before taking a sip of his beer. 

“This doesn’t concern you, Kylina,” Becca narrowed her eyes at him. “This is about tall, blonde, and handsome over here.”

“I appreciate the compliment, beautiful,” Blake replied with a small smile. “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.” She stood, holding her hand out politely. “I’m Blake, also known as ‘Jamie’s friend’ around here.”

“Becca,” she smiled at Blake, making sure to hold onto her hand longer.

“Pleasure to meet you, Becca,” Blake replied, squeezing Becca’s hand gently and playfully brushing a kiss over her knuckles. “Hopefully tonight won’t be the last night I see you.”

“No offense, but how did you get mixed up with this crowd? You’re so polite. We’ve already corrupted poor Jamie.”

Blake laughed. “Oh, don’t I know it,” she replied, shooting a wink at Jamie and Serena. “They’re good people and Jamie’s one hell of a cook so I decided to stick around.” 

“These heels are killing me,” Becca told her and Serena knew her best friend just wanted an excuse to sit on Blake’s lap. “Do you mind if I sit down?”

Blake shook her head. “No, of course not,” she said, sitting and smoothly pulling Becca onto her knee. “Better?” 

Becca grinded her hips into her under the guise of trying to get comfortable. “Much better.” She leaned back on Blake, making sure Blake was able to look down her top. 

Blake glanced down, trying not to stare straight into Becca’s cleavage but not really able to help herself. They were… kind of perfect. “If we were closer I’d offer a foot rub,” Blake said, resting her hand on Becca’s thigh. “I’ve been told I’m great with my hands.” 

“I’m not much of a foot rub girl,” Becca responded, moving Blake’s hand up her thigh. “But there’s other parts of me I want you to rub.”

Blake bit her lip, drawing little patterns on Becca’s upper thigh with her fingertips. “I’d love for you to expand on that thought. Are you free tonight?” 

Lexie chugged the rest of her drink. “Guys, it’s been real, but I’m getting out of here before the orgy starts. Happy birthday, Jay.”

“Same,” Kyle got up from his chair. “I know I just live upstairs but I don’t trust her drunk ass to make it there without me. See you guys tomorrow?”

Serena got up to give her brother and sister a hug. “The fact that you think I’m having an orgy is kinda offensive, but thank you for thinking I’m cool enough and yeah we’re still on for tomorrow.”

“Get it Serena,” Lexie called out from just outside the doorway.

“I’m so sorry,” Serena said to them once her siblings were gone. “We have no filter in the Benson family.”

 Blake chuckled and finished off her drink. “No need to apologize, gorgeous. My family is the same way. Especially after a couple drinks.” She glanced at her wrist watch and turned to look at Becca, rubbing her thigh again. “Need a ride? Home, of course,” she added with a small grin. 

Becca turned around to face her, straddling Blake’s lap. “Don’t go yet. Stay a few more minutes with me?”

“I’d have to be crazy to say no to that,” Blake replied with a smirk, gripping both of Becca’s thighs now and rubbing them gently. “Something in particular you want to talk about in those few minutes?” she asked.

“Talk?” Becca gave her a confused look.

Blake’s smirk grew, and she leaned forward to run her lips along Becca’s jaw. “Or… we could skip the talking and use our mouths for something a lot more fun.” She slid her hands down Becca’s thighs again, dipping her fingertips teasingly under the hem of her dress before sliding them back up and wrapping her arms around Becca’s waist. 

Becca is gonna suck her off in front of us. 

“Ser,” Becca said, not even bothering to look away from Blake and toward Serena. “We’re gonna use your room for a bit.”

Thank goodness. “Yeah, go ahead.” She moved from her seat to Jamie’s lap when they were gone. “We didn’t create this, did we?”

Jamie chuckled, wrapping her arms around Serena’s waist and giving a quick peck. “No but someday they will either blame us or thank us.”

Serena leaned back so she could nuzzle Jamie. “Did you enjoy your party?”

Jamie hummed happily, squeezing Serena gently and kissing her forehead, then her lips. “Best birthday party ever baby. Thank you… for planning it all.” 

“You’re welcome. I had to do something to welcome you into old age.”

Jamie laughed loudly at that, poking Serena’s sides playfully. “You didn’t get me a walker as a present did you? Because honestly I’d prefer one of those scooters. Those are cool.”

“They are,” Serena smiled. “And you can bet my pregnant ass used one every time I went to the store. I got tired of waddling around.”

“You probably looked adorable waddling though,” Jamie replied, placing a gentle hand on Serena’s tummy. “I’m so lucky to have you and Ollie in my life. You’re both the best present.” 

“We’ll see about that,” Serena smirked.

Jamie frowned slightly in confusion. “What do you mean?” she asked, noting the smirk with a chuckle. “Serena Michelle, what are you up to?”

“Nothing,” Serena blushed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 Sure you don’t Ser,” Jamie replied incredulously. “C’mon,” she insisted, tickling Serena’s sides gently. “Spill. What’s the smirk? What’s going on?” 

“I’ll just say you’re gonna love it,” she began delicately kissing Jamie’s neck. “I can’t spoil the surprise.”

“Can I have a hint?” Jamie asked with a small smile, though she was thoroughly distracted by Serena’s mouth on neck. 

Serena hiked up the hem of her sweater dress so she could straddle her wife, grateful that she had taken Becca’s advice and not worn anything underneath. 

Jamie hummed happily, leaning forward to capture Serena’s mouth in a kiss as she ran her hand up and down her newly exposed skin, slipping her fingertips up the hem with each pass. 

It hadn’t been Serena’s intention to tease her, but seeing how confident Becca was had brought out a new side of Serena. Their interaction and the thought of what she and Becca were going to do later that night, had already made her wet. She reached down to slowly unzip Jamie’s jeans, stopping to press her hand against the bulge she felt inside. “Jay…”

Jamie had worn Serena’s favorite toy that night in hopes that she could use it to thank her wife for the amazing party she’d planned for her. When she felt Serena’s hand press against it she moaned softly, her hips jerking slightly. “I- I wore it for you baby…”

Serena pulled it out and started to slowly stroke her wife’s cock, making sure to press the base against her clit. “I love how big you are, Jay. I can’t wait for you to fill me up.”

Both Serena’s words and her actions made Jamie moan again, a little louder this time as she tried not to thrust her hips into Serena’s hand. She’d been watching her wife work the room all night in her favorite sweater dress and couldn’t help thinking about when and where she’d be able to show her just how much she appreciated her. “I can’t wait to stretch you, baby. You always take my cock so well…”

Knowing the visual would drive her wife crazy, Serena rubbed the tip of her wife’s cock against her clit, covering it in her juices. “My pussy is so wet for you already.”

She wanted to wait and take Serena on a bed, properly, preferably when they were alone. But seeing how her wife was practically dripping for her threw her libido into overdrive. Grabbing Serena’s hips gently, she paused. “Baby… I want you. I wanna fill you baby. Let me fuck you?” 

Serena wanted nothing more than to feel Jamie’s cock deep inside her, stretching her, but she didn’t want her wife to come before she could give her her surprise, so instead she continued to grind against her, covering Jamie’s cock with her wetness.

Jamie groaned again, watching Serena grind down on her was driving her insane. But Serena hadn’t said yes to her question, so she kept her hands on her wife’s hips and began kissing her neck, hoping that she could get Serena worked up enough to say “yes”.

“What’s going on out here?” Serena heard her best friend ask. She had become so entranced by Jamie that she hadn’t noticed she and Blake were there let alone for how long.

“Looks like we’re not the only ones that wanted to have some fun,” Blake teased, wrapping an arm around Becca’s waist and winking at Jamie “Get ir, J.C.”

“I’m sorry,” Serena mouthed to her wife even if she refused to cover up.

Jamie smiled and kissed her, pulling her dress down at least a little, though considering who was there with them, it wasn’t really necessary. “Don’t be baby,” Jamie whispered, kissing her lips again. 

“Nothing I haven’t gone down on before,” Becca winked at them before turning to Blake. “I have to tell you about what Serena and I used to do in our sorority house, which means you’re gonna have to see me again.”

Blake grinned, dipping her head to kiss Becca’s lips. “How’s dinner tomorrow at 6 sound?” She paused, thinking about what had just happened between them. “Unless you want to skip dinner and get straight to dessert that is.”

“If dessert is me riding you, then yes.”

“Dessert it is then,” Blake replied, kissing her again before walking over to Jamie and Serena with that ever present smirk on her lips. She kissed Serena on the cheek and patted Jamie’s shoulder playfully. “Have fun tonight you two. And happy birthday J.C.” 

“I should go, too,” Becca said shortly after Blake had left. 

Serena knew her wife was gonna be upset with her for what she was about to ask, not knowing it was all part of her surprise. She got up and went over to hug Becca. “Don’t go, Beck. Why don’t you stay with us? Jamie, don’t you think she should stay?”

Jamie felt her ears get hot, knowing that if Serena wanted her friend to stay, she didn’t have it in her heart to say no to her and decided that she’d have to make do with a cold shower that night. Slipping the toy back in her jeans as quickly as possible, she stood too. “Of course baby. Becca, you're always welcome to stay here with us. We could umm… watch a movie or something. I know there’s plenty of wine left…” 

Becca kissed Jamie on the cheek. “I have to talk to your wife. Do you mind if I borrow her for a few minutes?”

Jamie shook her head and smiled at Becca. “No, of course not. I’m gonna go make sure the kitchen isn’t a disaster.” She kissed Serena on the cheek and walked out, leaving them alone. 

Becca hurriedly pulled Serena into the bedroom. “How was it with Blake?” Serena asked, but Becca paid no attention to her question. Instead she daintily touched the hem of Serena’s dress and started to pull it up. “Do you trust me?” Becca asked, looking Serena straight in the eyes.

“Yes,” Serena nodded. “Becca, we’ve hooked up before.”

“You know I’ll never not ask you,” she said in between kissing her. “Seeing you in Jamie’s lap got me worked up again. You’re so hot when you fuck. I can’t wait to tease you and taste you and lick every inch of you while Jamie watches us. You think she’ll like that?”

Serena pulled the hem of Becca’s blouse up, indicating to her that she needed her to take off every inch of clothing she was wearing. They had wanted to take their time undressing each other, but their desire had gotten the best of them.

“Jamieson!” Serena called out once they were ready. “Come here, babe.”

#jerena

[selfcareparker]

hello! another bisexual here! you are right! people DO have different definitions of what it means to be bi. it can mean attraction to two genders. it can mean attraction to two and more genders! it can mean attraction to everyone, regardless of gender! and there are a multitude of other definitions.

the following quote is from the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions, which is a collection of essays written by bisexuals in the 90s. it’s available on archive.org.

“I don't agree with everything said in these pages. But I do believe that for each idea expressed here, there is a larger constituency of bisexual people who hold those beliefs. And I also believe there are as many theories of bisexuality as there are bisexual people.”

this quote below is from The Bisexual Manifesto, available online on the Anything That Moves archive. Anything That Moves is a bisexual magazine from the late 90s to early 2000s.

“Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders. Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality. Those are human traits that cross all sexual orientations. Nothing should be assumed about anyone's sexuality, including your own.”

I also found this from Anything That Moves:

“We bisexuals tend to define bisexuality in ways that are unique to our own individuality. There are as many definitions of bisexuality as there are bisexuals. Many of us choose not to label ourselves anything at all, and find the word 'bisexual' to be inadequate and too limiting.”

i would also like to ask y’all to be considerate when telling real life (as opposed to fictional ppl lol) bisexuals that they aren’t bi and are instead pan because they’re attracted to two and more genders. if you tell a bisexual “you ain’t bi because blah blah” that is just straight up biphobia. you’re saying we’re confused. you’re invalidating/erasing our identity.

so, where does pansexuality show up? verilybitchie on youtube has an AMAZING video (Bisexual v Pansexual: MOGAI and Transphobic Sexuality) about why people insist that bisexuality and pansexuality are different. verity believes it’s because the definitions in MOGAI differ from the definitions in LGBT+. in MOGAI, bisexuality is two genders ONLY. in LGBT+, it’s much broader and people can make their own definition. in MOGAI, pansexuality is all genders and they are genderblind. in LGBT+, pansexuality is usually put under bisexuality,  like bi is an umbrella term. and so, there can be confusion when someone says “i’m bi” and they mean the LGBT+ sense but the person they’re talking to understands it as the MOGAI sense.

also if you want to know the history of the word bisexuality verilybitchie has another vid about it AHAH title is A History of the Word “Bisexual”.

it is also important to note that bisexuality became visible when people were blaming bisexuals for infecting the straights with AIDs, usually by cheating on their spouses. (i got this info from verilybitchie’s video Why We Hate Bi Men) so, the very word “bisexual” was associated with cheats, untrustworthy people, people to be afraid of, people who are threats. so, maybe, some people use “pansexual” because they aren’t comfortable with the word “bisexual”, which sucks.

and LISTEN i’m NOT saying pansexuality is invalid. pansexuality is valid!! if you identify as that, good for you! but please, please, don’t tell bisexuals they are pansexuals because they don’t fit your understanding of bisexuality.

tl;dr the definition of bisexuality differs from person to person. respect them and don’t go “you are wrong because i say so”

Ahhh thank you so so much for taking the time to send this!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Very very helpful and makes a lot more sense than what i was trying to say shsjs <3 (also i hope it didn’t come across as me telling anyone how to be bi or how not to be bi! i was also trying to say there are multiple definitions but the quotes you picked out all explain that a lot better and more eloquently than what I said shsjsh) but really, thank you! That cleared up a lot of the questions i/we weren’t sure how to answer! And also I’m watching all of those videos right now—

#ty!!!!!!!!!!! #anon #lgbtqia #bisexual