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To Do List 5/30/2020

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I just woke up to a Charlie horse in my hamstring, otherwise I’d probably still be asleep right now. UGH! I actually managed to sleep 6 hours and this happens. Maybe it’s a good thing since I have to be up at 8. Or maybe I’ll just go back to sleep again.

Sleep. I vote sleep.

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I need to make this out of my leftovers!

This is a paraphrase of a Swedish ryhme:

Lär dig livets stora gåta: älska, glömma och förlåta. Translation: Learn the big riddle of life: love, forget and forgive.

The translation of the paraphrase: Learn the big riddle of life: love, read and eat cake 😛🥰

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Stuff to do today:

- check Social Media
- edit the one headcanon in my inbox for my hc blog
- replies on my RP blog
- if it isn’t noon then, draw
- if it is noon, prepare lunch
- read fanfiction update (18k words wtf?!)
- play a new game
- maybe write a bit
- go dancing with husband 

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29. 05. 20.

currently recovering from my third major sunburn this week (i don’t ever learn, do i??)…

today’s focuses:

  • exercise: stretching + ab work out + yoga + walk + bike + walk the dog
  • spanish: spread
  • meet up: park w/ adv. class from 1 to 5 pm
  • tidy up: desk + bed
  • clothes: fold + put away
  • help with dinner

on the back burner:

look at me—i found things to procrastinate on!l

  • dust: nightstand + bookshelf + floating shelves
  • vacuum: bedroom
  • read: anna karenina
  • design health tracker spread

quarantine count: 77 days

independent studying count: 5 days

student-by-day
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to do list:

  • send sequences
  • read paper 1
  • read paper 2
  • lab meeting
  • other meeting
  • exercise
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To Do List for Summer Vacation

  • Catch up on a semester of missed school stuff
  • Catch up on one year of missed french stuff
  • Practice my social skills
  • Get used to city life
  • Learn how to get to my new school
  • Get rid of my depression
  • Stay in contact with my irl best friend
  • Don’t let my Tumble accounts fucking die
  • Learn how to not mix up English and German grammar and words while talking
  • Find a new hobby
  • Don’t get mental breakdowns
  • Survive
  • Lose some weight
  • Make new friends at school
  • Be normal

Conlusion: Ferb, I know what we’re going to do today. … No, Ferb, put the rollercoaster blueprints back. We’re getting our lives back together.

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To Do List 5/29/2020

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It’s a little after 4:30am and I’ve been up for an hour feeling extremely nauseous. Don’t know why, but I’ve got a pretty good feeling I may have had a panic attack while I was sleeping and now I’m afraid to get out of bed because I might hurl.

This is not how I wanted to wake up this morning, especially since my alarm is set for 7am, and I have to remove the masking tape from the signs before packing them up and heading over to my cousin’s house to set up. Not to mention, my elbow and arm are so sore I can barely move them. I’m in a ton of pain right now on top of wanting to puke.

Fuck today. Fuck all this stress I’ve put myself through. I think after I finish the setup and print that one job for my client, I’m going home and passing out for as long as humanly possible. Everything else can wait until later. I just need a day to recover. I’ve been pushing myself too hard lately and it needs to stop.

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For today, I am going to try and write down my whole life and all the major moments on a piece of paper. I also need to finish the final draft of a Philosophy Essay due June 5. For the next 2-3 days, I think I’ll just do some additional research and refresh my knowledge. A huge number of the teacher’s comments only required me to make conclusions after paragraphs and make the logical connections clearer. Since both of these things can be covered in 1 day. I have considerable amounts of time to spend. Next, I have a bunch of webinars I want to watch on colleges I could be interested in. I do want to choose a region near where my sister studies but I’m also going to explore other countries and options.

As you can see, my definition of work and then, of productivity is changing fast. With very few deadlines in place and a Netflix account, I’m really testing my limits. But, I have group projects which keep me in shape and I’m trying to work without specific deadlines. I’m also fixing my work station. Again. Yes.

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Friday, 5/29/2020

Tomorrow:

  • Finish up work/enter grades
  • Workout for 30-45 minutes (find a video through the gym)
  • Spend time outside
  • Light a candle for a bit
  • Journal/write more
  • Find some healthy recipes and meal plan
  • Read & take notes

Food: LOG EVERYTHING

  • Breakfast- Muffin Top/coffee
  • Lunch- Rice and Beans/Water
  • Dinner- EveryPlate/water (smaller portion)
  • Snacks- Dragon Puffs/Cheese Stick/Fruit?
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28. 05. 20.

(my spread from monday)

not gonna lie, i’ve already been slacking off on my independent studying (and i’m less than a week in!). like, i practice my spanish, work out, and that kind of stuff because i like doing those things, but the tasks i dread are kind of ignored.

other people have always been the main source of my motivation, and since i don’t have the pressure from teachers or deadlines with actual consequences anymore, i’ve relied on the pressure of crossing things off my to-do list in order to to look good for tumblr, you know? that pressure is definitely wearing off now that i’ve been on here for a while, and i’m not quite sure how to replace that without finding an accountability partner that i won’t let myself disappoint… i guess i’ll figure it out somehow (or not lol).

today’s focuses:

  • dentist visit
  • join classroom + rsvp google meet
  • set up gmail + read emails + organize folders
  • set up skyward
  • walk the dog
  • shower
  • fold + stow away laundry
  • spanish: weather and seasons
  • math: topic tbd
  • law: contract law unit
  • reading: ___ pages of anna karenina

quarantine count: 76 days

independent studying count: 4 days

student-by-day
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Tumblr life :

☐ Reply : Miya

☑ Reply : Miranda

☐ Reply : Rocio

☐ Update my muses page

Real life :

☑ Email my college

☐ Study

☑ Fill in the pages for the informatics certificate

☑ Work on my “open when”

☐ Find a gift for mother’s day

☑ Watch Defending Jacob

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To Do List 5/28/2020 (I Need Your Help)

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Long post, TLDR at the end about how to help. And no, I’m not asking for money, just a little bit of your time.

Guess who’s been up since 1:30am?

Meeeeeee!

The stress of this project is killing me. The worst thing? Nobody wants to help me. Like, nobody.

Here I am, busting ass for a fucking month, writing up a business plan, doing market research, creating customer profiles, finding my target market, creating all the graphics, writing all the contracts and terms, dealing with vendors, picking up supplies and the final job itself, and not a single person has stopped to ask me, “Hey, do you need any help?”

I literally have to beg for it. And even then I get shut down most of the time. It’s extremely discouraging. A pat on the back and a “Good job! You got this!” isn’t helping me. Instead, it feels patronizing. Like, I’m proud of all the work I’ve put into this by myself, but there comes a point where I can’t be in 10 places at once.

It’s crunch time. Tomorrow, everything I’ve spent the last month working towards comes together. Today, the burden of making the final preparations falls solely on my shoulders. Why? Nobody has time to help me. I’ll drop everything for you at a moment’s notice, but you can’t give me 10 minutes, half an hour, an hour of your time to help me when I need it most?

It feels like I’m being setup to fail. It feels like this thing I’ve been growing and nurturing and struggling to keep going is about to wither and die before it’s even had a chance to take flight. And it’s all because I am being pulled in so many directions at once and not a single person, family or friend, had 5 fucking minutes to spare.

I’ve been working myself to the bone this entire month with only a few breaks here and there, dealing with loss and grief as I try to navigate the intricacies of starting a new business from scratch. I don’t know if it’s even going to be worth it in the end. I’m honestly thinking about just giving up after this trial run because how the hell am I supposed to do all of it by myself?

I don’t know if it’s self doubt creeping in or if the stress and fatigue are just really getting to me, but I feel so under appreciated right now. I drove 4 hours on Tuesday to pick stuff up because I feared UPS wouldn’t get it here on time for tomorrow’s setup. I was beyond exhausted when I got home. What did I get in return? Absolutely nothing. Wait, no, I got to do the fucking dishes after dinner.

I’m just so tired right now. I’m so fucking tired but the amount of stress I’m under keeps me from sleeping more than a few hours a night. It’s been a full month of this. I’m so close to calling my psychiatrist and begging her to put me on sleeping pills just so I can get some rest. But even then I doubt it’ll happen.

So, here I am, tumblr friends, reaching out and begging for your help. Are any of you versed in Wordpress web design? Are any of you in the legal profession? Do any of you know anything about contracts, agreements or terms and conditions? Would any of you been willing to write some copy for a few pages of my site? I don’t have much to offer in return, but maybe I can buy you something off your Amazon wishlist?

If so, message me, drop me a line in my inbox, reply to this post, whatever works for you.

TLDR: I’ll buy you something off your Amazon, eBay, etc. wishlist if you’re willing to help me out with some stuff.

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27. 05. 20.

look, i know the sun is finally out, it’s almost june, i’m all freckled (uh mostly burned, actually), and it’s been a humid 96 degrees lately, but i was really imagining a cool fall breeze yesterday when i made this spread lol.

today’s focuses:

  • go on a walk (rescued an injured robin nestling today!)
  • meet up with adv. class at b.j.’s
  • work out: ab day
  • practice spanish: question words
  • write wip
  • read anna karenina: ___ pages

quarantine count: 75 days

independent studying count: 3 days

student-by-day
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Tumblr life :

☑ Reply : Isaiah

☑ Reply : Miranda

☐ Reply : Miya

Real life :

☑ Study

☑ Do relaxation exercices

☑ Watch Defending Jacob

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Getting shit done today list:

  • Deep clean my bedroom and organize it.
  • Clean the rest of the house.
  • Move all of my belongings out of the spare room so Josh can move his things in.
  • Clean and hopefully get my laptop to work, Aaliyah accidentally spilt ramen noodles on it.
  • Try and get my iwatch to work.


I need to get this stuff done so the house can feel normal again. Everything feels off balance.

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To Do List 5/27/2020

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The stress of creating the new company website is killing me. I got 5 hours of sleep before I woke up this morning. Honestly, I feel so overwhelmed, like I’m cramming for finals or something, but it’s so much bigger and impactful than that.

I wish I could turn to someone that could help me take some of this load off my shoulders, but I can’t because I’m still figuring things out myself. I don’t trust anyone to help me write the contracts because of their specific nature. I can’t have anyone work on the website because nothing is ready to go up and I haven’t found a Wordpress temple I like.

There’s just so much to think about all at once and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have a mental break if I don’t figure out how to balance everything.

Anyway, it’s 6:50am now, I’m hungry, and I think I’m just gonna jump into work early today so I can clear out the client work before focusing on the business contracts and website.

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05/27

Tomorrow is my art final and so I decided to compile a list of things I need to get done today to be properly prepared:

Study analysis aspects for paintings

Learn about Cindy Sherman’s life

Overview of Cindy Sherman’s series

Learn about Rembrandt’s life

Idealism vs realism

Learn camera angles

Learn photography perspectives

Learn about the meaning of colors and light in paintings / photography

Read art finals I can find on the internet

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