#to elaborate on my dilemma if anyones interested:

[im-this-kind-of-girl]

Aziraphale and Crowley's unhinged character analyzis (pt2. Crowley)

Controversial opinion:

Aziraphale and Crowley at the end of Season2 managed to accomplish the main goal they each had since the beginning of time. Only to realize that what they wanted no longer made them happy.

Disclaimer: I have no idea about what is going to happen in Good Omens. This analysis could clearly be considered a theory since I'm not Neil Gaiman, but as someone who knows about narrative and character structure, I'm going to elaborate. Also, English is not my first language, so sorry in advance.

I've already talked about Aziraphale's possible transformation arc in the Good Omens story. In here I've also written important definitions such as what's a transformation arc. I highly recommend it to read it first.

Now it's time to talk about Crowley.

Crowley, the co-protagonist and love interest.

In our role as audience, Crowley is the character with whom one tends to empathize the quickest. By the end of the second season, most would be tempted to think Crowley was right. However, this is a lie. Not only is Crowley not right, but he rejected Aziraphale just the same, choosing his principles over love.

Now, why in the first instance do we not see it that way? Well, because we have Aziraphale's point of view. We always get the angel's reaction first, we always see the way Crowley shows up again and again and again to rescue him unconditionally.

Very rarely do we have a moment where Crowley is alone in crisis because his beliefs are challenged. No, everything he does is in function of Aziraphale and we see the story from his perspective, that is, from the perspective of someone who is in love with Crowley. Because of this, Crowley is equally liked and attractive to everyone equally: we are inside Aziraphale's in love POV.

By the time Crowley proposes Aziraphale to run away together, we as the audience are seeing a proposal that is incredibly tempting to us: we want Aziraphale to accept it because it's what Aziraphale really wants. That's why the fight hurts so much, because we know internally that the two of them had the chance to be together but didn't because they're not ready yet.

Crowley's Objective

Crowley, unlike Aziraphale, was happy in Season 2 with his current situation. Having cut ties with both Heaven and Hell pleased him, because Crowley always sought only one goal throughout his entire life: freedom.

The one thing Crowley has always desired is to be himself with no excuses and no strings attached.

Since before the beginning of time, Crowley came to the conclusion that he didn't fit in Heaven. He thought he would fit in Hell, but soon realized that it was like a deteriorated version of Heaven, so he didn't fit in there either. On Earth he doesn't quite fit in either. Sure, he likes humans, has a certain admiration and curiosity for them, but he still considers them a species far different from his own. He is not human and never will be, so he can't really identify with them at all. He enjoys the advantages of humanity, but he is not one of them.

The Job episode is an indicator of this, he himself says so "I am a demon who goes along with Hell as far as I can".

In this same episode, however, the major problem he has with this is also expressed. Azira tells him "that sounds lonely". The counterpart of freedom is loneliness. To be truly free, you need to have nothing and nothing to bind you. That's why Crowley is someone who is unsympathetic and even disinterested in dealing with third parties. He does not remember faces or names, he does not get significantly close to anyone because that would compromise his desire for genuine independence.

This characteristic is the only one that is present in absolutely all versions of Crowley: the book, radio drama and even in the cursed script of the movie that never was. That's why whenever he sees danger, his first reaction is to run away.

Being free he has nothing to lose… or does he?

Crowley's dilemma

Well, Crowley never fit in by being different and so he always felt somewhat an outcast. However, it wasn't long before he noticed that Aziraphale was also different.

Clearly the angel was not like the other angels in Heaven: he enjoyed Earth, he fell into temptations, he lied to other angels. Also, it is obvious that he would not fit in Hell, and while he is more empathetic to humans, he is still innocently aloof. Aziraphale has a pure goodness that Crowley admires, the goodness that made him be kind to the demon in the first place.

Moreover, no matter the time, no matter how little they knew each other, Aziraphale could always see through Crowley's evil masquerade. The demon could burn goats and murder people, and yet Aziraphale has always held a blind faith towards him. Crowley, the Serpent of Eden, who had been his entire existence told that he's doomed to be a crawling tempter, finds in the angel an unexpected possible friend who's never been afraid or bothered by him.

Crowley eventually feels they are both the same: two supernatural entities left on Earth who learned to enjoy life on their own terms. Crowley sees in Aziraphale the companionship he never thought he'd find, the friend he thought at the moment he fell he'd never have. And that feeling of companionship and admiration slowly morphed into something more until it became love.

The season finale isn't the first time Crowley has considered leaving Earth. Probably not even his fight in Season 1 was the first time he considered it. Yet he never did. He never could because, without Aziraphale, running away would doom him to a life of solitude. Free, sure, but completely alone since no one except his angelic friend could understand him.

However, I think Crowley is not aware of what he feels. Or at least, he hasn't been for a long time. I'm sure his moment of introspection about his feelings was when Nina confronted him about it. Up to this point, Crowley considered Aziraphale his best and only friend, obviously. Crowley is loyal to a fault and always thought his relationship with Aziraphale was perfect just the way it was, but suddenly someone put it into words and he realized that yes, that's what he really wants with Aziraphale.

Crowley's decision

Crowley wants his freedom. That's why he never asked Aziraphale for explanations (because at the end of the day they were just friends), that's why he never told him that he was living in his car (because he would end up depending on him), that's why he never talked about his fall (because that would be opening up too much).

The most ironic thing about the whole ending, is that just like Crowley did with Aziraphale… Aziraphale proposed to Crowley the one thing he wants more than anything: to be together, for good, but sacrificing his freedom.

Crowley is capable of doing anything for his angel, even without acknowledging that what they had was love. He's capable of driving on fire, capable of killing Gabriel, capable of walking inside a church. Of everything except one thing.

It's the one step Crowley didn't dare take. He is not a martyr like the angel, no, he is not willing to sacrifice himself to be together. So, the obvious happened: Crowley chose his freedom over Aziraphale just as Aziraphale chose Heaven over Crowley.

The end of his arc and Aziraphale.

As I said before, I don't think Crowley will have a significant change comparable to Aziraphale's. His personality and beliefs will not be changed in a momentous way, as Crowley no longer has ties to Heaven or Hell by pulling the tab on both sides.

His side is already picked: Humanity.

His biggest change is likely to be one of purpose. Crowley is no longer going to be satisfied with his freedom. And the latter is a fact: Crowley is officially free. Without Aziraphale in the equation, he no longer has anything or anyone tying him to do anything or be any other than who he truly is. Crowley can go to Alpha Centauri and never come back; he can sleep for 3,000 years; he can go around the world in the Bentley. He can do whatever he wants. This might seem ideal to the Crowley of 300 years ago, but today's Crowley is completely consumed by loneliness.

Crowley never cared about building a home or having material things because he never wanted to be tied to anything earthly for the sake of doubt. He was always aware of the destruction of the Earth.

Love is not something that can be prevented though, and in the absence of having a home, he found it in Aziraphale.

Aziraphale: trustworthy, sweet, warm, funny, a bit of bastard but always irrevocably good. Everything Crowley lost when he fell he almost automatically found back.

To this day I wonder what Crowley is going to do now that his angel is gone and the possibility of him fleeing to the stars is becoming more and more possible. It's going to depend a lot on how much time passes between seasons, but I don't think it will be much. For not only he was his anchor, no, without Aziraphale, he doesn't have someone to cause him to want to do better, he doesn't have someone to be vulnerable with, he doesn't have a goal anymore, nobody else to impress.

He isn't evil. He isn't good. And now, he is alone.

First Crowley lost the love of God and now the love of Aziraphale. And it is then that Crowley will realize that what he really wants is not to be free, but to be loved. And this desire can only be fulfilled by the love of his life, Aziraphale.

The thing is... Crowley has always wondered why.

Why falling? Why becoming the cursed Serpent? Why could he never be truly free?

At the end of his arc, he must come to the conclusion that the answer was always in front of him:

Love is the only answer he needs.

#why? Love #good omens #crowley #good omens meta #good omens theory #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #good omens crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #character analysis #give me season 3 or give me death #good omens season 2 #amazon prime #freedom #demon

[zvezdacito]

// TWST Book 7 spoilers, thoughts of Malleus's writing as a character

So I was reading some other people's opinions on why some people consider Malleus overrated/annoying, and tbh this makes me really sad. The general consensus is that a lot of people fixate on certain sides and can only see him as one extreme or the other and it results in many ppl thinking a watered down version of his character is how he is in canon.

I feel that its such a shame because he's the most interesting, compelling and well-rounded take on his character archetype I've seen.

From my observation, usually they kinda make this archetype (the broody misunderstood 'everyone fears him like a monster except for one special person') someone you can't take that seriously, because of how his struggle usually kind of written in a way where everyone involved feel less like actual fully fledged original characters and really just one note tropes interacting with other one note tropes.

To elaborate: What i mean when i say this is usually ppl who hate him kind of just do because of plot requires them to and to show how all their haters are "normies" who can't get him because 'he's not like everyone else'. The misunderstood guy still usually has toxic personality issues but the story really tends to make it feel like they don't fear him for that but because they're shallow and have prejudice to ppl like him, so his personality issues are not framed as wrong or character flaws.

I don't think there's anything inherenrly wrong or mediocre with the "one special person who gives him a chance before anyone else" trope like I'm literally a Malleyuu enjoyer lol but like i said its all in the execution cause otherwise it fails to be compelling and believable. Usually in the poorly written version of this trope the guy doesn't undergo any character development other than showing more emotion and kindess to his partner because they melted his ice I guess so it really makes his whole character feel like its revolves around the sake of romance and fanservice.

Malleus doesn't fall into this trap in my opinion because his situation despite how fantastical it is, the way he was written makes it believable as to why everything is the way it is with him, and it also challenges the viewer if they would be able to say they wouldn't fear him too in that situation.

"We're gonna give you this character who everyone sees as a monster and show you deep down he just wants the same love as everyone else, making you contemplate changing judgement on him. He wants to prove this, but his way of going about it always inadvertently harms others."

"You know where hes coming from and if he had that social connection to give him a better understanding of others this wouldn't be happening, but its also equally understandable that the people hes trying to connect with don't deserve this and fear him even more after this, trapping him in a cycle of isolation."

"Given his track record, do you go about giving him a chance or just considering the repeatedly proven danger he brings. With the valid reasons of both parties, can you really say he isn't a monster and demand that 'if only people be near him'?"

There's just such a tragic and thought-provoking dilemma to his character that adds so many layers that makes him so good.

As omniscient viewers we have the benefit of seeing what he's going through form his POV so we can sympathize with him and understand that he thinks what he's doing is the best course of action and he's just trying to create a "win for everyone" situation.

But also everything he does ironically reaffirms everyone's fear and distrust of someone like him. No one can deny he has a tendency to cause further destruction when he tries to do something "good", examples including: past Briar Valley lantern lighting fire, the Halloween 2 ghost world party, and now his Sleeping Curse stunt in Book 7 Part 2 (they really emphasize this by making the spoken name of his UM basically mean "Malicious Fairy" but have its written name used to convey what its meant to mean be "Blessing").

↑ Given this, it honestly makes sense others, especially those who don't know him all that well, would just expect the worst when he's around already, and you wouldn't be able to blame them for that given the track record. It doesn't help that this impression is worsened since he tends to cause misunderstandings due to his lack of familiarity with human social cues.

Alongside the bias and preconceived notions from his status and reputation, they also make a point on how his personality flaws are still also a huge factor in pushing people away, such as not being able to see things through the perspective of others.

He also holds a subconcious belief due to what has been ingrained in him since childhood as a Draconia and the next in line that because he's superior to others at certain things, he has the right and responsibility to decide on what will protect and help them, disregarding the individual values/priorities of human beings and leading him to take reckless and destructive action with good intentions.

His upbringing, character strengths and character flaws are all realistically connected to each other and the way they are subtly shown to be ever-present in defining his decisions, goals and thoughts throughout the whole story. So we don't really need to have a character go out of their way to exposition this to us this word for word just so we can understand and believe it.

Moving onto something slightly more lighthearted, I really also like how dorky Malleus surprisingly was. Other similar characters in the archetype I usually see don't really have any hobbies, interests, or quirks outside of being a broody authority figure, which might've been appealing to some at first but it really just gets stale and boring after a while.

This should be the bare minimum in making a fleshed out and interesting character so maybe i sound like im giving them too much credit for pointing it out😭 But yeah compared to the other examples it's good that Malleus has his Tamagotchi and Gargoyle interests it makes him feel like a believable person who has his own life going on too (with the bonus that these interests are also metaphors for aspects of his character). The gap moe adds an endearing side to him, and makes the gap between his intent and impact of his actions even more tragic. It wouldn't hit the same without this side.

(^ Forgot how the exact quote goes, but it basically said dark stories are more effective when there are moments of genuine happiness and good in them, compared to if it was always just grim and edgy. The former increases the stakes and tragedy because you have something you to care about losing, while for the latter there is nothing for you to care about so nothing the story does really matters. Same logic applies to Malleus)

Overall, it's just like an unfortunate incompatibility of goals and circumstances, which is what TWST is all about. Another thing I want to say is out of all the characters, I feel like Malleus is the one who is the ultimate embodiment of TWST's main themes:

-> How it's not about "hero" vs "villain" just differing circumstances crossing paths and clashing because of how people on either side have their own complex perspective and dreams they want to realize

-> And how connection and finding community is important to find people who will help you make up for what you lack in reaching your goals and to better understand all the factors that caused the situation in the first place.

As if seeing yourself reflected in a mirror, the more you get to know the people around you, you realize in many ways you are actually quite alike, and through understanding others you could also possibly better understand certain aspects of yourself. It's sort of encouraging you to do the opposite of dehumanizing others and yourself, which is something Malleus has most evidently internalized.

So yeah this was so long😭 I had a lot I wanted to say since Malleus is my favorite TWST character. Idk if I missed anything or if i managed to express my thoughts in a cohesive way but yeah. I kinda go into a rage whenever I see the worst takes ever be put out about his character but tbh sometimes I can't completely blame others since fandom trends and the convenience of simplifying things into tropes can warp your perception of a character and what you associate with them.

Also sometimes twst doesn't do a good job with utilizing his character like Book 5 where he got turned into a deus ex machina and Halloween 2 where they killed any hype and intrigue for the plot we had at the beginning through the ending reveal and gave the worst justification ever for Malleus and Lilia's actions ever.

Regardless, I hope more people manage to move past this and appreciate his character for what it really is soon though. He's an amazingly tragic character; a lot of thought was put into how his experiences, strengths and weaknesses would convincingly connect, and he represents something relevant in the story's plot and themes.

The fact that I've seen some people unironically believe that Malleus may just be faking his cluelessness of social cues to hide his "true evil" is evidence to how convincing his character's situation is, that even some in the audience who know more about him than the characters would still end up in the same place of doubt and distrust of Malleus because of what he's capable of.

Aight thank you for reading👍

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst book 7 spoilers #malleus draconia #twst writing analysis ? #diasomnia #i am his number 1 defender #ignore me just putting random photos in between text i tried separating chunks of text to make it more readable lol #twst character analysis ?

[daikaiju-zilla]

Pomni, Jax, and cowardice

So, on my recent rewatch of the Pilot episode, I noticed a connection between both Pomni and Jax that I found very interesting.

A while back, Gooseworx mentioned that there’s a side to Pomni that wasn’t quite elaborated on in the first episode, and I theorize that it could be that she values self-preservation over helping others. Even to the point of breaking a promise; the prime example is when she promised she’d find Caine and be back for her, even though Ragatha has shown nothing but kindness and compassion to her.

Very similarly, Jax also has that sense of fear and gutlessness. Immediately running from the Abstracted Kaufmo and leaving Pomni and Ragatha behind to glitch (or even die?). His only focus is himself. Throughout the rest of the episode he hides and runs away from a dangerous and tragic threat without telling the others, probably because he doesn’t want them to chastise him about it.

This is also what Pomni does, the only difference is that she hesitates both when wanting to abandon Ragatha, and when she enters the Exit Door. Perhaps Jax had some sort of moral dilemma when he first entered the circus, but he became calloused to it.

Jax most likely thinks that watching his own back is the only way to survive in the circus, seeing everyone else as human shields to get what he wants or hide from danger. Pomni COULD also have this mentality, at least initially. I can see Jax noticing this and even pointing it out to her.

Jax is a selfish coward, and he knows it. Owns it, even. He can’t trust anyone else except for himself, the others are a liability. Perhaps he also wants to keep himself from growing attachment from everyone else because they can all Abstract at any time.

Pomni could very well go down this road too, as she has already shown hints of having a self-centered mindset.

However, you can’t necessarily blame her for wanting a way out when she just entered the circus, but we’ll have to wait and see…

#SORRY this is another gay little analysis but I gotta get it out of my head. I just gotta #Plus if I’m right I can boast about predicting it lmao #the amazing digital circus #tadc #Digital Circus #Pomni #Jax #daikaiju roars

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

My friend read this historical fiction frum novel that she loved a while ago and for whatever reason thought of me so strongly that she bought a copy for me before so much as mentioning that it existed. Which was a really sweet thought except that I have zero interest in this book and it is bad. She knows that I don’t read frum fiction davka because it tends to be just so terribly written, and she thinks that this book is an exception and that was part of why she’d thought of me while reading it. But I brute-forced myself through the first 2 chapters to at least give her thoughtful gift its fair chance and I just can’t read another page. 

There are 3 main characters. Two full chapters in I literally cannot tell you anything about them, their lives, or their personalities except that one has a brother (which one? don’t remember). They are completely indistinguishable from each other to the point where I could tell you everything that happened in those 2 chapters, but I have no idea which character did what. The author uses bigger words and fancier language than some of these frum novels, and I feel like that’s what tricked my friend into thinking the book is well-written, but that’s not what makes a story! The author clearly wanted to tell the reader about a time in history but in the form of a story rather than a non-fiction account, and thought that all that was needed was to slap names on some generic people living through said period and let the period play out without giving any further thought to who these people are, what their deal is, any kind of character development, etc. 

The plot and world-building are also just not well-constructed at all...the characters make plans and then have “dilemmas” about REALLY obvious problems anyone in such a situation would’ve thought of ahead of time, like, “oh shoot, we thought we could escape by just walking across the river, but now that we got here we just realized that if we simply cross and start walking on the other side, they will just see our footprints on the other side and follow...what can we possibly do??” and only realizing after extensive conversation that they can hide their tracks by walking in the water. Or they stress about things that make legitimately no sense, like, “we are 3 out of 10,000 prisoners being walked across a large area and no elaborate system for keeping track of all the prisoners has been explained, but we are certain that the guards will notice we are missing if we disappear in the night.” In another scene one of the characters (again, which one? I don’t remember because they’re all the same) sees an idol carved into a door and experiences an uncontrollable urge to worship it. Why? No idea based on the text. There is no explanation whatsoever as to what’s so compelling about this rando carving. He just sees it (described very generically) and we are told that the urge to bow down and worship it is overwhelming.

Anyway, for a bit after she gave me the book I was reading something else, so that was my excuse for not diving straight into this “incredible” book she gifted me with, but eventually I’m probably gonna have to say something (especially because she’s seemingly now trying to get everyone to read the book), and arghhhhhh. She really meant well. But it’s so bad, so bland, so uncompelling. I can’t even pretend it’s ok. I’m not going to waste my life forcing myself to read the rest. But I can’t exactly be like, “oh yeah, this book that you think is beyond amazing and spent probably like $30 to give me is such trash that I had serious trouble making it through even 2 chapters.”

[sad-mcmuffin]

hi odd we've been mutuals for years now and i just wanna say u've always been hot and u always will be. fat hairy ppl fuck!

Ilysm my guy im working on accepting that but its always nice to hear 💛💛💛

#srsly ty ily #to elaborate on my dilemma if anyones interested: #i genuinely like my body hair it helps w my dysphoria and shaving is literally painful for me bc of my sensitive skin #but im afraid other ppl wont like it ykno?? im not too worried abt it from lgbt ppl but mostly w cis men i still kinda feel like theyll #expect a certain level of femininity from me j by looking at me and then when ykno the clothes come off they wont be into it #i need to let go of that but like if i was trying to be physically intimate with someone and they show any sign of like disgust even if #they dont mean to it would absolutely destroy any confidence i have #and im so terrified of that happening that i push ppl away and remain celibate lmaoooo #i havent had sex in over a year bc of this fear lmao #but im working on it!! im talking to this guy and its long distance rn bc covid but once im back in nyc we're gonna bone down #i am genuinely excited to see him and do stuff so im hoping i can use that to push past my fear and let myself be a lil vulnerable ykno?? #plus theres the whole fat femme ppl are pushed to perform extreme femininity in ordered to be attractive and like respected lol #and lowkey i feel like w girls they expect a certain level of masculinity from me so me being so curvy is a bit of an insecurity there #but thats mostly bc my ex lowkey kinda fetishied me being trans lmao #idk if she meant to but that was v much the vibe i got everytime we were intimate #and again without clothes i dont feel like im masculine enough bc of my tig ol biddies n shit #so yeah im figuring out my shit lmao #but i rly am getting better w it im trying to let go of anxities and open up a bit and like keep in mind that if they arent into my body or #want me to change it then theyre a shit person and they dont deserve to fuck me lmao #anyway thx for letting me vent ily guys 💛💛💛

[jjacob]

all i want for christmas is you

❝ the school had started to take notice of you. lee juyeon, however, had always noticed. ❞

PAIRING ▸ lee juyeon x fem!reader (ft. best friend!lee minho)

GENRES ▸ fluff, high school au, sports au, best friends to lovers au

WARNINGS ▸ mild profanity but !! lots of !! fluff !! 

SUMMARY ▸ the bet was simple: find a date to the winter ball. the only problem was that juyeon didn’t want just any girl. he wanted you.

PLAYLIST ▸ all i want for christmas is you by mariah carey

WORD COUNT ▸ 5055 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ merry christmas! this is a gift for addy @honeyju​ the biggest juyeon simp ik !! ily addy i am excited/scared/not emotionally ready to read the minho one which ! btw y’all should read here bc our stories are loosely connected! also disclaimer: i know jack shit ab football but i tried

LEE JUYEON TENDED TO REGRET HALF THE THINGS HE SAID SOMETIMES. 

In eighth grade, Juyeon’s sense of humor was largely self-deprecating and consisted of saying he wanted to die at the slightest inconvenience. But, with his spectacular timing, he let the joke slip in front of a teacher once and froze up upon seeing her concerned expression. Juyeon later received a note from the counselor’s office and had to convince them that he was perfectly fine.

In tenth grade, Juyeon had grown past his phase of dark humor and moved onto high school football. He made the cut for the team the previous year, and managed to make it on the varsity team by the time he was a sophomore. In the beginning of the season, they asked who wanted to be captain the next year, and Juyeon boldly declared that he did. Thus, he was ridiculed and sentenced to pick up balls and clean up the gym after every practice from then on.

Now, as a high school junior in the varsity football team, Juyeon had screwed himself over by making a stupid bet with his best friend, Lee Minho.

Lee Minho was, in short, a conniving bastard. Juyeon never should have trusted him and gone along with his antics. The mere thought of what he had gotten himself into was enough to send his heart into overdrive.

The bet sounded simple enough: find a date to the Winter Ball.

Of course, it was easier said than done, but Juyeon was a star athlete and had girls sliding in his DMs left and right. He could easily find a date if he wanted to, and, honestly, Juyeon only needed to send a few texts and he would probably be secured for the dance. The problem was, however, that Juyeon only wanted you.

Minho was well aware of Juyeon’s pitiful, unrequited love towards you. It was probably the reason he suggested the bet; his best friend either wanted to see him miserable or see him score a chance with you. Either way, Juyeon wasn’t sure his heart was ready to shoot his shot.

Juyeon had crushed on you ever since you sat next to him in the seventh grade and let him borrow your pencil. It was such a silly start to his admiration for you, but his feelings grew stronger when the both of you actually became friends. You were so bright when you laughed, so sweet when you spoke, and so adorable when you smiled. Juyeon had never felt this way about anyone else and always got butterflies when he saw you. Juyeon was never one to chase after girls but he would find himself constantly thinking about what you were up to and having several internal dilemmas over whether he should ask you to hang out or not.

Five years later and Juyeon still harbored feelings for you. Now, they had matured into something deeper, but you still racked his brain nevertheless. It didn’t help that you had a major glow-up in high school and were probably the most beautiful person Juyeon had ever seen.

The school started to take notice of you.

Juyeon, on the other hand, had always noticed.

“Are you sure we can finish a medium before practice?” Minho asked Juyeon, setting a box of pizza on the table in front of him. “Also, I saw Y/N by the gym earlier.”

Juyeon perked up. “Y/N?”

“Yeah,” Minho replied, grabbing a slice of pepperoni pizza for himself. “You know what day it is, right?”

Minho took a bite out of his pizza, observing Juyeon with a raised brow. His best friend was on the baseball team but treating themselves to pizza had become a monthly ritual. Despite being on different teams, he was closer to Minho than his football teammates.

“Thursday?”

“And that means?”

Right.

Juyeon had formulated an elaborate plan to ask you out during the football game today, but, of course, it all depended on whether their team won or not. It would have been kind of ridiculous to propose after a loss. On the bright side, he knew he could count on the fact that you’d actually be present considering you were a cheerleader.

But what if you already had a date? You surely hadn’t mentioned it to him or posted about it on social media, so he was riding on an assumption that you haven’t been asked. That was bizarre to Juyeon, though, because you were the prettiest person he had ever seen. However, it was true that you were gradually getting popular, and that made Juyeon a touch nervous.

“I ask her out tomorrow,” Juyeon breathed out. “Am I ready for this?”

Minho scoffed lightly. “Are you ever?”

Juyeon frowned at his best friend, scrunching up his nose at his distasteful comment. “What about you? Have you gotten a date?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

Juyeon sighed. That was probably all he would get out of Lee Minho today. Once Minho set his mind on something, he carried it out diligently until the end. Juyeon honestly had no idea who he wanted to bring since Minho didn’t like talking about girls he was interested in, but he supposed it wasn’t that big of a deal as long as his best friend was happy.

It wasn’t like Juyeon was never going to hear about his friend’s endeavors. After all, he did pick up on Minho’s slow descent from an apathetic individual to a whipped ball of fluff. If Juyeon mentioned that to his best friend, however, he would probably be ridiculed for consistently being whipped for you since the seventh grade.

Juyeon nearly jumped out of his seat at the sound of his ringer going off. He scrambled to pull his phone out of his pocket, ignoring Minho’s teasing smirk at the sight of his frazzled self.

y/n: hey :) i’m gonna drop off some gingerbread cookies my mom made after practice so lmk when i can come over

Juyeon must have saved a country in a past life for this kind of luck.

juyeon: i love your mom’s cookies. you can come over whenever you’d like

y/n: how about we walk home together after practice?

juyeon: sounds good to me

Now, the pizza was starting to make his mouth water, but if you were walking home with him, Juyeon was ready to drop it and run to see you even though he loved pizza. But Juyeon loved you more than he loved pizza, and he believed that was true love.

“She made me cookies,” Juyeon announced.

“She made you cookies,” Minho repeated, leaning forward in surprise.

“Well, her mom did, but yeah.”

Minho turned his attention back to his pizza. “So this is about your mommy kink again.”

“I don’t have a fucking mommy—why would you say that?” Juyeon cried out, kicking his friend’s shin under the table.

“You don’t? Last time I checked, she was making dinner in the kitchen when I came over yesterday.”

“I’m talking about the kink!”

Yet, even a silly back-and-forth with Minho couldn’t get Juyeon down from his high over you. He was still processing the fact that you were going to walk home with him and, if Juyeon played his cards right, maybe he could get a feel of how comfortable you would be if he asked you out during the game tomorrow.

Minho snickered. “You look happy.”

Juyeon couldn’t even mask his lovesick smile and flushed cheeks. He folded his arms on the table in front of him and buried his face in them, his head spinning at the thought of you.

“Shut up, Minho.”

The only problem with you being on the cheerleading team was that you were extremely distracting.

Juyeon was the star quarterback and frankly, it was kind of pathetic that the one thing that kicked him in the ass was seeing you in the knee socks and pom-poms. It didn’t help that you were a flyer so Juyeon’s stomach pitted with anxiety whenever he saw you being thrown up and whenever he heard a scream coming from the direction of the cheerleaders.

Today was different, though. Juyeon could care less about the screams and falls from the corner of the field. All he could think about was you and how he was going to ask you out. If his plan was going to work, it was going to draw a lot of attention and be quite embarrassing if it failed.

All of his confidence got knocked down with a single sweep when he saw someone asked you to the dance.

One of the cheerleaders broke into a fit of giggles at the sight, clasping a hand over her mouth. “Oh my god!”

You were frozen stiff, an awkward smile on your face as the guy walked onto the field with a sign and about a dozen roses. Juyeon could feel his heart sinking to the ground with each step the guy took, with each second his smile grew brighter.

“Is he seriously confessing during practice?” Sohn Youngjae asked, brows furrowed as he rested his arm on Juyeon’s shoulder. “That’s real brave.”

“What’s his deal doing it here? He isn’t even on the team,” Juyeon said, coming off more bitter than he had expected.

Younghoon scoffed. “It’s a bold move. He must be confident that Y/N’s going to say yes.”

Juyeon squared his shoulders. He was conflicted with the swell of anger and deflation of you possibly being taken, but nevertheless, all he could do was watch helplessly as you were being asked out. From where they were on the field, Juyeon couldn’t hear much, but he could see your reactions quite well. The wolf-whistles and cheers were pissing him off, but he was fixed on you.

He turned to look towards Minho, who was practicing on the field adjacent to theirs. His best friend met his gaze immediately like they had some form of exclusive telepathic communication. Minho nodded towards you and raised a brow, as if nudging Juyeon to go interrupt them. That, however, was something he was far too cowardly to bring himself to do.

Your voice resounded clearer than Juyeon had expected.

“I’m really sorry,” you apologized sincerely, ducking your head and keeping your hands entwined behind you. “I’m not interested, but I do appreciate the gesture.”

Juyeon felt a weight lift off of his chest. He wasn’t sure if he should’ve felt relieved that you shot him down or nervous that you rejected an attractive, confident guy who clearly liked you. However, he soon had no time to mull over that when the guy’s reaction was getting more aggressive than crestfallen.

“Y/N, I asked you out in front of all these people,” he said with a distasteful laugh. “Are you seriously rejecting me right now?”

“Sorry, I just don’t want to go with you,” you replied firmly, voice dropping as you became more conscious of your surroundings. “I’m sorry it had to be public but you didn’t really give me a choice.”

For a split second, Juyeon wondered how he could still hear you when you were practically muttering at this point, and then he realized that he started walking to you without even realizing. His feet carried him unknowingly, hand balled at his side and eyes stony and trained on the guy.

“You could’ve just accepted it and told me later that you didn’t want to go with me,” he said with a scoff. “It’s like you enjoy humiliating others publicly.”

Your teammates rushed forward to argue and fend him off while you opened your mouth to protest, but Juyeon was faster, moving in front of you so he was head-to-head with the guy.

“She said she’s not interested,” he said with a threatening undertone, wondering where he managed to muster up the courage to be this assertive.

You were visibly shocked by Juyeon’s actions, and he couldn’t even blame you because he was equally just as surprised as you were. Yet, all he could do was glare daggers down at the other guy with steely eyes and frown until he backed off.

“Thanks,” you said softly once the guy had left.

Juyeon was flustered by all the girls giggling behind you but was amazed by how cool and collected you remained despite that. He turned to you, eyes softening and shoulders relaxing. He knew he was getting an earful about this from his teammates after practice and most definitely from Minho as well.

“No problem,” Juyeon replied, cheeks red. “He was bothering you. I couldn’t just ignore it.”

“That was really sweet of you, Juyeon.” You bit back a smile and suggested, “Meet you at the front gates after practice?”

“See you then.”

Even though Juyeon could’ve spent the rest of practice talking to you, he sprinted back as fast as he could because his cheeks were only getting redder as the cheerleaders gushed about what he did for you. He could hear their gossip and whispering even as he was running back to his team. Juyeon was positive he wouldn’t escape the embarrassment, though, because Lee Jaehyun was smirking at him when he got back.

“You’re blushing, dude.”

Juyeon shoved him.

There was a universal law that was newly decreed. It read: Lee Minho shall never text, call, or speak to Lee Juyeon whenever Y/N was around.

The reason for that being the fact that Juyeon was easily embarrassed and Minho’s texts were not helping his case. He felt it was rude enough to check his phone while he was walking with you, but every time he saw a notification flash, his eyes widened with sheer distress over Minho’s texts.

minho: like three people asked me if you and y/n are fucking bc of what you pulled during practice today

minho: wait are y’all fucking and just not telling me

minho: i knew it was sus that she was coming over to your house

juyeon: fake news!! stop making me feel shy :(

Juyeon decided he had enough Lee Minho for today and turned off his phone.

“That was honestly the coolest thing I’ve ever seen you do,” you gushed to Juyeon as you walked home with him, fingers looped around the straps of your backpack. “Way cooler than you punting footballs.”

“No need to flatter me,” Juyeon replied coolly but his shy smile and red-tipped ears said otherwise. “That guy was being unnecessarily aggressive.”

“His proposal was out of nowhere!” you exclaimed. “I don’t get what he expected me to do.”

Juyeon smiled through the pain. Lord, give me strength, he prayed to whatever divine power was out there.

“Are you not interested in having a date to the dance then?” Juyeon asked, looking down at you curiously.

You paused for a moment and Juyeon thought his heart would stop in anticipation for your answer. Come to think of it, he had never seen you go to a school dance with a date before. You were always with your friend group. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary to see you stick with them, but Juyeon was hoping he could change that.

“Well,” you started, “if the right person asked me then I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Juyeon couldn’t exactly read your smile but it made him want to faint. The rest of the walk back home was spent talking about school and football, but Juyeon couldn’t get your answer to his question out of his head. He even walked past his house because his head was so full of you, resulting in you needing to stop him and tell him that they had already reached his place.

“Y/N! It’s so good to see you!” Juyeon’s mom chirped with a good-natured smile. “How has your mom been?”

Juyeon’s eyes widened upon the realization that they never stopped by at your place first to get the cookies. He opened his mouth to interject but you went on to answer.

“She’s been great, Mrs. Lee,” you replied, smiling just as big, and pulled out a box of cookies from your bag. “She wanted me to give these to you.”

“That’s so sweet! Give her my thanks,” his mom replied and opened the door wider once she accepted the cookies. “Come in for some tea, will you?”

Juyeon was practically frozen at the doorway while you were taking off your shoes and walking inside. If you had the cookies with you this entire time, then why didn’t you just give them to him to take home himself? Unless you were worried about the courtesy, it was a bit out of your way to take the time to walk home with Juyeon to deliver them.

“Juyeon, what are you doing out there?” his mom asked. “Come inside. It’s cold.”

“Right.”

Having you over at his house wasn’t exactly the sparkly fantasy that Juyeon thought it would be.

He was getting quite jealous of your mom hogging all of your attention. It wasn’t like you and Juyeon drifted apart during high school, so he wasn’t sure why his mom had to pull you away from him and have her own conversation with you. The worst part was that Juyeon couldn’t even join in on the conversation. He had no idea what they were even talking about.

That is, until his mom brought up the dance.

“Do you have a date, Y/N?” Juyeon’s mom asked.

“I don’t,” she replied. “I usually just go with my friends.”

“You’re so pretty, though,” Mrs. Lee tutted. “I’m sure someone must’ve asked you out.”

“Actually, someone asked me today,” you said. There was a moment of silence as you looked over at Juyeon while his gaze bore into yours. For a moment, you were struggling for what to say, mouthing words that weren’t being processed. Juyeon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly once you regained your composure. “Juyeon actually helped me out.”

Mrs. Lee straightened up. “My son did?” She looked amused as she turned to Juyeon.

“Yeah,” you answered, grinning. “He was really cool.”

Juyeon blushed darkly once their eyes were on him. “W-what? I couldn’t ignore it. I wasn’t even doing that much. I was just helping out. You know, being a decent person,” he rambled and stood up. “Anyways, isn’t it getting late? Mom, Y/N has to go home soon and it’s gonna be pitch black outside if you keep her here.”

“Oh, you’re right.” Mrs. Lee frowned as she peered out the window. “Juyeon, you walk her home then.”

“What?” he sputtered out, looking between you and his mom before he caved, muttering, “I’ll go get my jacket.”

After an exchange of goodbyes, you had stepped out of the house and waited while Juyeon was slipping his shoes on. There was a moment of struggle where he had tied his laces too tight and couldn’t get the shoe on but he managed to slip it on after a few seconds of internal screaming. Juyeon zipped up his jacket the moment he stepped outside, the brisk coldness making his goosebumps rise.

“You really don’t have to walk me back,” you told Juyeon. “It’s cold outside.”

“It’s really late,” Juyeon replied, rubbing his hands together in hopes that the friction would provide some heat. “You shouldn’t be walking home by yourself, and I really don’t mind.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, ducking your face. “For this, for what you did during practice—everything.”

Juyeon was glad that you weren’t looking at him because his mouth was opening and closing over and over again like a fish. He was also thankful for the fact that he could blame the dust of pink across his cheeks on the cold winter bite. Unfortunately, you lived close by so Juyeon didn’t have time to come up with a cool response and he didn’t want to leave things like this. There was a good vibe going on and he was upset that he couldn’t act upon it; when it came to you, Lee Juyeon was a coward.

“Um, we’re here so…” Juyeon trailed off when he turned to you, sort of thrown off by how beautiful you looked with your windswept hair and flushed cheeks. Dazed, he reached forward and moved a strand of your hair out of your face. “It’s good I walked you home and you’re not like, lost or… something—I’ll shut up now.”

You laughed, and it was an octave higher as if you were rattled from him touching your hair. “Ah, yes, a few streets down can be a harrowing trek.”

Juyeon laughed with you before his eyes settled on you. Your hands were crossed, rubbing your arms that were prickled with goosebumps. A wave of guilt washed through Juyeon and led him to strip his jacket off immediately. He ignored the piercing chill and put his jacket around your shoulders, making sure they covered your bare arms.

“My house is right here,” you argued. “You’re going to be cold.”

“Keep it on. I have something to tell you after the game,” Juyeon said firmly. It was his second burst of courage for you today and he was a little too amped up for his own good. “If you don’t like it then give me back my jacket tomorrow.”

Before you could respond, Juyeon turned on his heel and bolted home, the biggest grin across his face because he was head-over-heels for you.

Juyeon had never been so nervous in his life.

The game was underway, Juyeon’s leg bouncing as he eyeballed the scoreboard. His team was strong in the first two quarters, cutting it close by the third, but now they were neck-to-neck. They had ended with a tie and now they decided to go into overtime for the sake of choosing a winner for the game. It was a sudden death round so whoever scored first would win the game. Juyeon, however, found it difficult to concentrate.

Especially with Lee Minho breathing down his back.

“Are you ready?” his best friend asked.

“Yes—well, no, but I don’t really have a choice.”

“That’s true.”

“I already made the sign and told the team and everything,” Juyeon whined. “I really screwed myself over, Minho.”

Minho pushed at the back of his head. “Dude, I’m talking about the game.”

“Oh, that—that’s fine,” Juyeon stammered. “Fifteen minutes—we just have to win, and then I have to ask out the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

“You could chicken out,” Minho suggested, “but that also comes with me never letting you live it down.”

“You see, I kind of already implied that I’m going to tell her something important.”

“You did?” Minho’s voice was somewhere between shocked and impressed.

“Shit, I gotta go,” Juyeon muttered, pushing himself off the bench. “Keep the poster safe for me!”

“Good luck, champ!”

Juyeon, sweaty and bangs sticking to his forehead, had to ignore every distraction and think about winning the game before his stomach threw itself into a pool of anxiety over asking you out. He got in a huddle with his team in the remaining fifteen seconds they had before they had to get in formation and lowered the facemask of his helmet. It was up to this one last play to determine whether they would win the game or not.

“Just like we practiced, alright?” Juyeon told them. “Double-wing power pass. We get them to bite thinking it’s a run play and then open up a passing lane.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Jaehyun cheered, and the rest of them put in their mouth guards and lowered their facemasks.

Juyeon took a shaky breath as he got in formation at the line of scrimmage. His heart was racing but he wasn’t sure it was about the game. Nevertheless, he steeled his nerves and held his ground. The whistle blew and the crowd was silent, observing the tension on the field carefully.

“Silver-80! Silver-80! Hut! Hut! Hike!” Juyeon yelled, and the center, Sangyeon, snapped the ball to him.

Juyeon faked a handoff to Jaehyun, the fullback, and spun around, rolling to his right. Changmin sped up in front of Juyeon to defend him. A smile tugged at Juyeon’s lips. Their plan was working just as he intended, but there was a problem: they couldn’t open up a passing lane for the running backs like he thought they would. The play was too rushed, so it wasn’t ever a guarantee.

So Juyeon had to do what he would normally deem crazy.

He spun at the sight of the other team coming to tackle him and skirted around the field, belting down the field. He dodged past another linebacker that tried to body him. His primary motivation was that he didn’t want a concussion before he confessed to you, but he assumed it was okay to admit that to himself as long as he didn’t throw the game.

Juyeon felt a hand grab him but he pushed forward, running across the goal line and into the end zone. He threw the ball down and cried out in joy as he scored a touchdown. The whistle blew and the scoreboard flipped. They won.

He did it.

Juyeon’s team ran to him, cheering at the top of their lungs. He was lifted up on Jaehyun and Younghoon’s shoulders, grinning happily before his heart sunk back down. The cheerleaders ran to the field, cheering and tossing their pom poms up. The crowd was roaring. Juyeon was realizing that he had to do the scariest thing that a heterosexual teenage boy ever had to experience.

“Jaehyun, Jaehyun,” Juyeon tapped his shoulder quickly. “We have no time. I have to do it now.”

“Oh shit.”

Jaehyun and Younghoon dropped Juyeon onto the turf. Juyeon winced at the sudden impact, gathering himself back to his feet and hoping you didn’t witness that. Jaehyun gave him a half-assed apology and pushed him forward to run and get his poster and flowers from Minho. Jaehyun then grabbed Changmin by the shoulders, urging him to go to the announcer’s booth.

Juyeon sprinted over to Minho, waving his hands dramatically. “Give, give, give,” he demanded amongst all the cheering.

Minho didn’t waste any time and pushed the poster and bouquet into Juyeon’s hands. “Break a leg, tiger.”

“Trust me, I nearly did.”

Juyeon jogged back onto the field, cheeks hot and head a little dizzy for what was about to come. He didn’t even tell his mom he was going to ask you out and she had to watch her son ask his best friend out to the dance. This was probably going to be a moment of utter humiliation but once Juyeon saw you in your high ponytail with a bright smile on your face, all that fear faded away and it was just you and him.

More importantly, you were wearing his jacket over your uniform and Juyeon felt like he was going to combust from the cuteness.

“Guys, guys,” Jaehyun called to the team. “Surround Juyeon. Make sure Y/N doesn’t see him.”

Juyeon’s heart was beating a hundred miles per second. He was glad he was running on the adrenaline from winning the game because otherwise, he would be cowering in fear and sweating buckets right now.

“Everyone, listen up!” Changmin spoke over the intercom. “First of all, the football team scored a major dub today—ow! Sunwoo, cut it out—alright, I’ll get to it!” Changmin broke from the mic and started bickering with Sunwoo.

There was a pause, and Juyeon was surprised to hear Minho’s voice fill the speakers, “Anyways, my buddy and our star quarterback, Juyeon, has something to say for a special someone.”

The crowd fell silent, a couple cheers and wolf-whistles as it was pretty obvious that a confession was about to happen.

“This is so fucking fluffy,” Sunwoo mumbled.

“Shut up, Sunwoo,” Juyeon replied, nudging him with his elbow.

The football team moved out of the way so that they weren’t huddled around Juyeon anymore. Juyeon’s breath caught in his throat as he walked forward to the middle of the field, holding up his sign, reading: Will you be my sunshine?

“Y/N,” he called out loudly, “honestly this confession is long overdue, but will you go to Winter Ball with me tonight and be my sunshine?”

The crowd started cheering and whistling again, and Juyeon wanted to die. She hadn’t even given him her answer yet and everyone was acting like she had agreed and they eloped. The cheerleaders pushed Y/N forward and she approached Juyeon, looking like a deer in headlights.

Juyeon took another shaky breath and continued, “I’ve been in love with you for so long so it would be an honor if I could take you to the dance,” he said and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m sorry if this is uncomfortable for you.”

You bit your lip but that wasn’t enough to contain the happiness that showed on your face. You zipped up Juyeon’s jacket and threw yourself into his arms. Everyone practically exploded but Juyeon was sure his heartbeat was louder. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face into your shoulder.

Was this what people called a Christmas miracle?

“Oh shit!” Changmin screamed over the intercom. (“Shut up, they’re having a moment,” Minho’s faint voice was picked up in the background).

“Oh my god, you just made me the happiest man alive,” he mumbled.

You pulled back and reached forward to move his damp bangs off of his forehead. “Took you long enough.”

“Wait, did you—did you like me?” Juyeon choked out.

You laughed and cupped his face in your hands. There was a shaky inhale and exhale of breaths when his lips brushed against yours, and Juyeon closed the distance, kissing you like he was starved of your touch. His hold tightened on you as you melted into him, and then you both pulled away, smiling and dazed and lovesick.

You giggled. “Does that answer your question?”

“Yes,” he breathed out, grinning as he brushed his nose against yours.

Juyeon could care less about all the presents and holiday cheer because he had you and you were all he wanted.

#the boyz scenarios #juyeon scenarios #tbz scenarios #juyeon x reader #juyeon fluff #tbz fluff #the boyz fluff #lee juyeon #juyeon imagines #juyeon blurbs #juyeon oneshots #juyeon fanfic #tbz imagines #tbz blurbs #tbz oneshots #tbz fanfic #the boyz imagines #the boyz blurbs #the boyz oneshots #the boyz fanfic #lee juyeon x reader #tbz soft hours #the boyz soft hours #juyeon soft hours

[meltamorphosis]

why i (unfortunately) believe the "mikoto has DID" theory

this is going to be a kinda quick, kinda messy writeup on why i personally think that the DID theory for mikoto is the direction that the writers are going for (as much as i don't want it to be) and why that is, because honestly i'm not sure if any other theory seems viable right now to me.

i want to preface this by saying that i think this writing choice is inherently ableist. portraying a character who seems to have DID as having a ~*spooky alter*~ that murders people with no clear motive as of now? not good. not great. i wish this Wasn't the case, but i feel like in avoiding this theory entirely, it's kind of a refusal to acknowledge the mistakes of the milgram writers. i think it's incredibly important to consume milgram critically instead of ignoring the possibility that it just might have ableist writing, because how they've been handling mikoto is... Yeah.

so, while the mv is already a Lot to unpack, i'm going to put all that and the obvious metaphors basically hitting you on the head with a bat within it aside to look at the crucial piece in this dilemma - mikoto's voice drama, john doe.

in it, there's a point where mikoto snaps under stress, "switches", and becomes incredibly aggressive. his voice also changes drastically to the point where it doesn't even sound like the same character. he attempts to kill es, kotoko comes in, they fight, and he gets knocked out. kotoko outright says "mikoto seems to have DID" after the fact, which is so on the nose that it's actually laughable.

now, let's unpack this. i'm going to make my point for why i think that this is a confirmation of the theory rather than a red herring by answering the three most common types of rebuttals i've seen to this theory, because i think that refuting those is the best way i can get my point across.

"hold on, DID doesn't work like it would in mikoto's case at all! it's unrealistic, so it can't be DID!"

yes, you're right! in real life, DID is an INCREDIBLY complex disorder, and mikoto's portrayal in-universe obviously is not accurate. if milgram were real, i would agree. however, milgram is a work of fiction, a murder mystery at that, that's written by people who may not have put in the work to portray the disorder faithfully. you can't make the judgement that "it's unrealistic, so it can't be true" when mikoto isn't real. he's a product of real people making a bunch of writing choices. the inaccuracies are likely because the writers made mistakes, or they chose to overlook those factors for the sake of a more "interesting" story. i also don't think the head writer being a psychologist makes them unable to make writing choices like this.

"mikoto could just be lying and tricking people into thinking he has DID! he's manipulating everyone! his mv shows the crime, so he remembers!"

the songs are extracted from their subconscious, meaning while mikoto may not consciously remember the crime, his subconscious still retains it (not sure if this would make sense at all in real life, but again, do you think the writers particularly care about that?). plus, it's an established fact that prisoners cannot lie in their songs. but, okay, let's say this is the case for a second. let's pretend for a moment that mikoto is a ruthless murderer who kills for the thrill of it, who is manipulating everyone, who tried to kill es for calling him out on it.

what reason would ANYONE have to vote him innocent?

no, really. if mikoto is lying to everyone, what reason is there to vote him as anything but guilty? there's no moral dilemma anymore! it's just "hey, this guy killed people for no reason and also tried to kill es. Do You Think He's Innocent Or Guilty? :)" of course he's not innocent! the lack of moral dilemma would make voting a no-brainer, which is why i think there's no possible way that he's manipulating everyone. there has to be room for innocence.

(and also it's just a boring writing choice honestly. mikoto's whole deal is that he doesn't remember his crime! that's his Thing! if that's a lie, then the initial intrigue of his character is just gone!)

"so if mikoto has DID, why be so obvious about it? they're just trying to throw us for a loop!"

honestly, how obvious they're being about it is straight-up bizarre to the point where it's like the only thing throwing me off. however, i think if this isn't just a massive elaborate red herring for some reason, then it's because this is a setup for the next trials. it's possible that rather than the mystery being "does he really have DID? is he faking it?", the mystery is meant to revolve around mikoto, his alter, the motives for the crime, and just in general the "why"s of it. at least, i hope there's a motive, bc if the ~*spooky evil murder alter*~ is killing for no reason other than like just the thrill of it i'm going to beat the milgram writers over the head with a rock. anyway, i'm guessing that what they're trying to go for is establishing this fact about mikoto early on so they can focus on it and expand on it in later trials.

let me reiterate - this is not because i want this theory to be true. i was so on board with the homicidal sleepwalker theory before MeMe. i hoped that DID wouldn't even come into the equation. however, looking at this objectively, i can't deny that this seems to be the direction that the milgram writers are taking mikoto, and to ignore that entirely feels like avoiding confronting the possibility that milgram probably has ableist writing.

do not take this as me defending the writing choice. do not take this as me wanting the theory to be true. but as a quick explanation as to why i believe it to be the truth, regardless of what i personally want.

thank you for reading my ramblings.

#milgram #milgram theory #mikoto kayano #mikoto kayano theory #despots rambles #god. i hate that this is the writing choice they seem to be making #but by god am i not just going to ignore it when they're plainly spelling it out #i like to consider the meta viewpoint when making theories #this is a messy post ngl but i just kinda had to get my thoughts out #like its not that i want it to be true #its just that i have no faith in the writers

[crimeronan]

Can you explain the appeal of Julian Blackthorn? This is a genuine question because I read the books and came away utterly bored by him and unconvinced of his moral greyness as opposed to like, Adam Parrish’s. He seemed so one dimensional to me but I want to know if I’m Wrong TM considering I tend to be very very biased toward my favourite characters and bored by the rest, and my favourites were Mark and Kieran. So maybe I just didn’t pay him enough attention??

it’s been a while since i wrote any earnest tsc meta but cringe culture is dead and the chance to infodump about my julian thoughts has me vibrating where i’m sitting so.  yes okay.

technical stuff

(aka: things pertaining to How The Story Is Constructed)

cassandra clare’s characterization has become much stronger just in general since she first began writing the series like twenty years ago

perhaps most importantly: the more recent stuff i’ve read from her has involved characters who actually grow, change, and learn from their past mistakes 

rather than repeating the same stupid decisions over and over again

and over and over and over some more

seriously take a shot every time someone in tmi miscommunicates or self-destructs in ways They Have Learned Not To Do for no real reason. u will die of alcohol poisoning

in tda this shines ESPECIALLY with the evolution of mark, kieran, and cristina’s relationship, but that’s a separate post

clare’s trademark is also the angsty traumatized jerkass love interest with a secret heart of gold

the woman is almost singlehandedly responsible for draco in leather pants and the proliferation of this kind of character type in fandom and teen lit. this isn’t a criticism it’s me marveling at how if you commit hard enough to a single trope you truly can change the world.  follow your dreams

sad jackass with a heart of gold isn’t an Inherently Problematic Character Type

but poorly done it can lead to relationship dynamics in which one partner is constantly being hurt by and then forgiving the other despite them making no real effort to change, because they are narratively absolved due to being sad

(there’s a lot of this with earlier jace content.  in some ways i think will was later created specifically to be a same-archetype protagonist who actually does get called on his shit and grow. that’s also another post)

also if all of your sexy male love interests are tortured jackasses with a heart of gold then people start calling you a one-trick pony

enter julian blackthorn!

from the very start everything about him is designed to be the INVERSE of the heart of gold jackass.  which immediately makes him interesting just from a meta perspective

(mark and kieran are also both alternate angles on this time-honored archetype.  mark gets the heart of gold and kieran gets the jackass and then they’re both much more deeply messy than that.  yet another post)

julian is kind, self-sacrificing, empathetic, artistic, emotionally supportive, responsible, and favored by old grannies everywhere

so a completely nonthreatening milquetoast guy, right

immediately forgettable if you’re only here for the dramatic conflicts and shithead antics of clare’s other protags

except that he is A Mess

and that he has structured his priorities very carefully, and they are as selfless as you expect from The Hero (TM) but they are also Not Heroic (TM) and they do not align with the moral framework The Hero (TM) is supposed to use

moral ambiguity in characters always exists in relation to their narratives imo. you mention adam parrish - trc’s narrative already mucks around in different ethical shades of gray, and adam falls on the canon scale about where julian does on his canon scale.  both more willing than the average pov character to do the ruthless thing or make the fucked-up choice if the ends justify the means; both with an intensely strong sense of internal priorities that they adhere to at all costs, both so unbelievably fucking down for murder; etc

i do think there are ways julian’s choices could have been pushed even further, but considering the number of readers who hate his guts already, i can see why clare opted not to go for the most controversial possible conflicts

so we’re flipping the narrative

instead of seeing this angsty bad boy and peeling back the layers of his trauma to find his heart of gold, we’re seeing the put-together selfless family man and peeling back the layers of his Responsibility Mask to expose the rotting husk underneath

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

THAT IS FUN AS FUCK

then when julian DOES lash out in hurtful, uncontrolled ways, he has significantly more narrative justification for it than most of clare’s protagonists (will elaborate in characterization thoughts)

julian is also interesting as fuck because of how his struggles allow for a more in-depth look at the failings of shadowhunter society, something that’s also sorely lacking in clare’s earlier work

his apparent amorality is simply the result of him making pragmatic and impossible choices because he has been faced with fucked-up ethical dilemmas since age 12 Because Society Has Failed Him

which opens the door for narrative exploration of how and why he’s been failed so badly & what needs to change

i also love that he has such a coldly calculated way of analyzing situations and allowing harm to occur when need be, bc a lot of clare’s early protagonists have such a bad case of Rush In And Get Myself Killed Because I’ve Got Feelings About Impulsive Heroism syndrome that i wanna push them in front of a truck

probably there’s other meta narrative stuff i could say but i’m stopping myself and moving on to character analysis

characterization stuff

(aka: reasons why i’m also attached to him in a vacuum)

i don’t read him as one-dimensional at all tbh

u may feel the narrative pushes “ruthless julian blackthorn” too much without delivering enough actual ruthless julian But i don’t think that’s the same as having only one dimension

from the get-go, the big question centered on julian is always “how far are you willing to go?” and the narrative pushes the stakes slowly higher and higher to continuously test julian’s “the price is always justified” mindset

he has a far more layered and realistic response to trauma than clare’s early protagonists - trauma affects every single aspect of his personality and how he conducts himself, and the effects vary depending on the circumstances

his conviction that he has to be the perfect parent to his siblings because they will fall apart if they see him show weakness??  rooted in how he feels like he’s fallen apart since losing the stable adult support he once relied upon

his willingness to hurt semi-innocent people, commit coldblooded murder, manipulate people using political leverage, allow harm to befall any stranger if it protects his family??  rooted in how he has already had to ask himself how much he’s willing to sacrifice, and how his family is his only source of stability when the world has never done Shit for him

his conviction that he has a darker heart than anyone else because he killed his possessed father, even though intellectually he knows he was saving his brother’s life??  rooted in having no means of processing this trauma and being unable to voice his feelings for fear of backlash from a deeply non-understanding society

the way he represses every single negative emotion he ever has, to the point where emma - his actual literal magic soulmate who can feel his emotions - is startled to find him hurting or angry??  once again all about how he has to be the perfect father or he’s failed completely

the way his anger is so totally disproportionate to different situations and the way his negative emotions can only come out in completely uncontrolled breaks??  all that repression baybey.  this kid has not processed a single bad feeling in five years.  every single real grievance and petty annoyance has been festering indefinitely inside him like a slowly spreading infection

julian’s arc involves him needing to get thru being his worst self to actually start to heal

as in, he has to actually learn to acknowledge his feelings, take care of himself, lean on his family, and let other people take some responsibility

he also has to learn that in his quest to be the perfect emotionally controlled authority figure, he has not actually learned how to control or deal with his emotions. like. At Fucking All. good god

the narrative setup is also about asking “how far are you willing to go?” until the answer is finally “not this far.  not this far”

and once he reaches that point, he has to reevaluate everything about how he weighs his priorities and morals and plans, etc

(i also like that emma has a perpendicular arc in which she’s always the one tempering julian and telling him “no we can’t go that far” until she’s willing to do something horrific that he absolutely won’t and HE has to stop HER. very sexy)

it’s also just really nice to have a character who’s learned to relate so well to literally every single member of his family while still having a very detached ruthless interior consciousness. i have similar feelings about how adam teaches himself to love people, but with julian it’s spelled out more explicitly in canon & it’s a more central character theme

i’m sure i’m also forgetting stuff here but this post is long enough so i’m gonna say good enough

and like i said in the tags on my other post, there are things i’d personally write differently if it were my story - plot points i’d shift, character contrasts i’d up, themes i’d explore differently, pacing i’d adjust, etc.  i have plenty of ways i could be nitpicky and editorial about the effectiveness of julian’s arc.  but i also don’t feel like writing them out at the moment & none of my critiques on effectiveness have an impact on the core appeal of his character 2 me.  he’s so fucking good

#replies #tsc #tda #julian blackthorn #meta #long post #ungodly long post. #shadowhunters #Anonymous

[hyunjinspark]

Hii again. Before I send in the review, I just want to say a few things so it isn't as confusing. First of all, I was a psychology student for 2 years in school and I have completed a one year side course in which you have a lecture a week and at the end of the month you are given a assignment which is a case study, and you are expected to form hypothesis and using Bronfenbrenner's theory, comment on the whole situation. Elaborate in 30 long pages (Phew). When it is under neuropsychology (where causes of behaviour have biological reasons), the method is very different. Basically, I am currently a medical student (I am doing MBBS course) and my ex-teacher is someone I know personally and a counsellor, and she studies sociology and human development. So, we are obviously not doing a report on a character but only explaining some behaviour.

Haha, she read the smut and she has one thing to say. You can't do cockwarming for that long. Like you can fall asleep with it inside but after drifting off to sleep, it will soften and very easily slip out, until and unless y/n decided to clasp it in with her thighs. The rest she said is more romantic for a fwb relationship (T_T.. they are so sweet in 44.)

Now, the review. I have SO MUCH to say about Yeji and this one is solely about her. Foremost, the series isn't about y/n's relationship with everyone around her. It IS about y/n and how y/n is taking on her relationship with Hyun. However, whatever much was shown, I take Yeji as a very normal person, but would appreciate if she acts a little more mature. Yeji isn't toxic, jealous or self-centered. But she surely is insecure about something. When you have popular people around you, it's a natural tendency to feel inferior. Its a part of covert behaviour, one which isn't shown through observable actions but can be reflected elsewise. For example, I actually liked how Yeji kept asking if y/n is okay with Minho and her being a thing now. The reason is very simple; Yeji was the one who first spotted Minho and found him attractive. When she suggested y/n to go approach Minho, it means she either wasn't confident herself or was afraid to, like how you act around people you like. So, she asked someone (y/n here) whom she redeems better, to go talk to Minho. Yeji was also the one who met Hyunjin first in uni and she did talk to him even though he is just as attractive. Why? Possibly, because she didn't feel anything for Hyunjin and found Minho attractive as a possible love interest (as a crush or boyfriend). Also, when y/n and Minho didn't click well, and she got closer to Minho instead, she would feel as if she is taking something from her friend and this might be something which would have (possibly) never happened before. So she kept asking y/n if she is okay and not to make y/n feel sad. That is exactly why she went on to say it is easy for y/n and everyone falls at her feet for her. Maybe Yeji would have seen people around her always asking y/n out or y/n might just be popular. Another point we must keep in mind before judging anyone is that this story is from y/n's pov, which means she already holds opinions about people as a human. Therefore, it isn't exactly fair we judge people's character but we can focus on their behaviour. Taking on, y/n never told Yeji anything about Hyunjin. So, Yeji can very much simp over Hyunjin because she is unaware, and she isn't unaware because she can't sense something must be going on with y/n and Hyunjin but because y/n purposefully took the effort to not tell Yeji and not let her get a hint about the situation.

And a person can be sad for more than reasons centred around love. It can be uni stress or family dilemma and hence, Yeji is free to talk about her love-life to y/n. If she would have known that y/n is hurt because of a boy, I don't take Yeji as a person to talk about her happy love life at such a time. Yeji's behaviour is histrionic, the way she perceives things is too much related to what has happened to her and people around her throughout the years. A few amendments here and there will make her the best person, but everyone has flaws. Moreover, if y/n would have found Yeji toxic she would have long cancelled her out.

So, yes, she might be a little insecure and insecurity can take on a toxic side, I can also say that Yeji would not let that happen. She cares for y/n. She just wants to be sure that her relationship with Minho doesn't make her sad. She doesn't know what is going on between y/n and Hyunjin, so, she can talk about her love-life. She also doesn't know that y/n went through a bad heartbeat so, her comments should not be taken as harmful.

That is all! I would actually like to explain about Hyunjin's character after the series clears out from his pov in high school, and write about y/n after reading 2-3 more chapters. The next one is about Minho, Chaeyoung and Wooyoung ◇.

Anyways, I hope this review helped clear out why Yeji acted the way she did, and yeah, she is a little childish but I think she will be great when she comes to know about what happend with y/n and Hyunjin. ♡♡

ah firstly THANK YOU SO MUCH for sending me this, for taking out the time to analyse this and to YOUR PSYCHOLOGY TEACHER?? 😭😭😭

and the smut 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 please -

okay moving onto the actual yeji analysis, first of all i loved reading this because it's so accurate and catches her personality so well.

the bit about her approaching hyunhin and minho differently is so accurate! 🥺

and also about people being sad for reasons apart from love, yeji had no idea and has no way of knowing yn is ever sad about anything related to relationships because she didn't even know yn is in a relationship, so therefore it's normal for her to talk about her perfect date with minho without second guessing the decision.

i really enjoyed reading your review and i would to know your take on the other characters.

thank you so much 🥺

you pretty much covered anything i would have to say about yeji 😅

#only fools

[skarsgard-daydreams]

I really like the snippets of the SVMs that you post, but I can’t help but think about how by the end of the series Charlaine Harris just decided to destroy the character of Eric. I read those last few novels and just fumed with anger. Were you happy with how they turned out?

You are absolutely correct, anon. Was I happy with how they turned out? Absolutely not. I have a lot of bones to pick with Charlaine Harris about what she did to Eric Northman, but more importantly, I have a lot of bones to pick with Sookie.

Initially, I thought that the problem in the latter books was that Harris got lazy with everyone's characterization when she was contracted to write three more novels and started writing these characters in ways that were inconsistent. Certainly, there are a few instances where Eric is portrayed in a manner inconsistent with earlier books. (He loses a lot of his humor and charm and suddenly has a very different perspective on the possibility of turning Sookie, which I attribute to bad writing.) But as I went back in the series to compile these quotes, I noticed that the problems I had with Sookie's character in the latter books manifested much earlier. I have been trying so desperately to wrap my head around her behavior, and I have come to the following conclusions about Book Sookie, which are not necessarily applicable to TV Sookie...

(major spoilers and an unedited 4,000 word essay ahead)

Sookie's mind-reading abilities have stunted her ability to read and empathize with others without the use of her powers.

The magical bond that is formed when she and Eric exchange blood circumvents this while it is active, enabling Sookie to feel Eric’s emotions rolling off him at the time. She knows he is terrified when his maker arrives in book 10, and she is even able to identify precisely why he is frightened: he doesn’t want to be under someone else’s control. But after she severs their bond in book 11, her ability to read him fails her. She has spent her entire life reading people’s minds, which has served as a crutch. Rather than developing the intuitive ability to read a person’s body language and read between the lines of what they are saying that most of us learn, Sookie relies on her abilities, which don’t work on vampires. As a result, their motives are often mysteries to her. She notes how stony-faced they are, how carefully controlled they are in expression, but she misses a lot of cues that convey their repressed feelings. This is particularly bad for Eric, who, like many men, shields himself with anger when he is feeling hurt. His anger is not excessive or violent—in fact it is often very well controlled—but it masks the tender feelings that hide under the surface. It is telling that Sookie never acknowledges the incredible pain and betrayal that Eric must feel when she severs their blood bond, or when she ultimately refuses to save him from being taken away from her. The only time she feels sympathy toward him in that respect is in one line at the very end of the series where she considers how lonely he will be—and then she purposefully smothers that thought, refusing to dwell on it further.

Sookie's trauma from her formative relationship with Bill renders her suspicious of the motives of others and unable to trust her future partners.

Bill is the first man she ever dated, fell in love with, or had sex with, and it is revealed to her through Eric’s intervention that their entire relationship was premised on a lie. This plot point is the same in the book as it is in the TV show. Once Sookie and Eric are together, there are numerous instances where she suspects his motives. She maintains the firm belief that Eric never does anything unless it would be beneficial to himself, which is probably true up to a point, but even after he has shown that he is deeply in love with her and that he has borne the personal cost of this love, she still doubts him. In fact, Sookie believes that the love they seemingly share is only the result of the magical blood bond between them, which renders it false. Eric repeatedly states that he does not care why he loves her, only that he does, but this is a problem that Sookie cannot get past. It results in her severing their bond without warning. Once the bond is severed, she insists that she does still love him “all on her own” but her love quickly begins to erode without the understanding that the bond created as they are besieged by numerous calamities. When the final obstacle to their love presents itself—a contract negotiated by Eric’s maker that would force him to marry the vampire Queen of Oklahoma against his will—Sookie is so blinded by her inability to trust him that she doubts every word he says about wanting to stay with her. He never expresses a desire to leave her for the queen, but remains stalwart in his insistence that he cannot escape the contract despite seeking every possible loophole. Yet Sookie believes he is attracted to the queen and the power that she possesses and attributes his insistence that he is trapped in the contract to a clever lie designed to dupe her. In the final days of their relationship, Eric reveals that he knows Sookie could save him with a magical object that grants her one wish, and repeatedly insists that she could stop him from being taken from her if she wanted to. He does not ask her to do it, nor does he mention the object explicitly, or ask where it is. His statements read like a man who is wounded by his lover’s unwillingness to save him, but one who perhaps has too much dignity to resort to begging her to intervene. Presumably he believes that he should not have to beg the woman who says she loves him to save him from “cushy slavery,” as Sookie calls it. Once Sookie realizes that Eric knows about her magical deus ex machina, she starts to wonder if he really just wants to take it from her, or use it for himself. She even entertains the possibility that maybe he orchestrated the entire dilemma in order to get his hands on it. When the thought enters her head, she admits that she never would have considered such a thing if it weren’t for Bill’s betrayal of her.

Sookie's affection for Eric is conditional upon his usefulness to her (including as a sexual object), and she never develops an appreciation or understanding for who he is as a person.

Perhaps this is the fatal flaw in their relationship from the very beginning. Sookie does not express an interest in Eric other than the fact that he is physically attractive until his numerous favors to her and the many instances where he has saved her life or protected her begin to add up. The blood bond between them is formed when he prevents a vampire who has authority over him from forcing blood on an unwilling Sookie, instead offering his own blood as a substitute. Their marriage was orchestrated by Eric when another vampire wanted to take Sookie away from her own against her will, and it allows Eric to serve as a barrier to any other vampire who would try to harm her. Once their romantic relationship is formed in earnest, it quickly becomes evident that it is lopsided. Eric praises Sookie for her beauty, but also for how brave she is and how hard she works and countless other virtues that are not physical in nature. In return, Sookie feels obligated to pay him a compliment, and all she can manage is that he has a nice body and is good in bed. She often deflects from serious conversations with him to have sex instead. Sookie clearly doesn’t believe Eric is a good person, expressing her own doubts about his moral code when he doesn’t display enough outward moral repugnance for her liking. When Eric tells her how his boss tortured and killed a human woman to punish a vampire, she asks him how the story made him feel. His answer—that it made him fearful it could happen to Sookie—is not good enough for her because he does not also express remorse for the woman in question. (It should be noted that he doesn’t revel in her pain either; he is merely concerned with applying the moral of the story to his own circumstances and the woman that he loves.) Sookie does not seem to acknowledge the good that other people attribute to Eric, such as when his new bartender tells her she requested to come work for him. Sookie cannot imagine why anyone would want to work for Eric, but the vampire explains that he is a good master to serve because he treats his people well, specifically pointing out that he doesn’t ask for sexual favors from his female subordinates like other sheriffs do. Sookie is not interested in his life, his business, or his world. When he attempts to explain the elaborate hierarchy of vampire politics to her in an effort to include her more in his affairs, she outwardly expresses so much disinterest that Eric takes offense. Their relationship treads water for a while, until Sookie is kidnapped and tortured by fairies and Eric is prevented from rescuing her. While she is being tortured, Sookie is certain that Eric will show up at any moment, but she doesn’t know that he has been forbidden from intervening by his boss. The other vampires bind Eric in silver chains to keep him from going to save her. He later tells her how anguished he was that he could feel her pain and do nothing to protect her, shedding tears as he talks about it, but she doesn’t want to hear it. That moment marks a turning point in their relationship. Sookie repeatedly affirms that she believes Eric is so big and strong and capable of handling anything, and any time he is not able to deliver on her expectations, she loses even more love for him.

Sookie's prejudice against vampires leads to her treating them as though they are not people.

Although Sookie does not express her prejudice explicitly as some characters do, she still exhibits a bias against vampires throughout the books and expresses a clear preference for humans or shapeshifters. She is disgusted, for example, by Eric’s suggestion that she should come work at Fangtasia, saying that she would hate to watch the fangbangers seek the attention of the undead among them. She believes that they do not feel emotions or possess empathy in any comparable measure to humans. (The thought that not all humans share the same depth of emotion or empathy does not seem to occur to her.) She also discounts their physical pain or suffering because they possess the ability to heal themselves. This happens numerous times when Eric is wounded, often while trying to protect her. In one case, Eric shoves himself in front of a car window and takes a bullet intended for her point blank. While he is injured, he fights off the werewolf who was trying to kill Sookie. Then he gets back in the car and drives her home with the bullet still lodged inside his chest. When they arrive back at her house, he asks her for blood, saying explicitly that he is in pain as his body pushes the bullet out of his chest. She tells him he’ll be fine and if he really needs it, he should stop at Merlotte’s and get some True Blood on his way home. Another time, Sookie comes upon Eric after he has been badly beaten and bound with silver. His arm is broken and his hands, she notes, look gruesome, because the silver was wrapped around them. As soon as she frees him, he springs into action and decapitates the vampire who had attacked him before said vampire can go for Sookie, who gets faint at the sight. (She is not injured.) Eric picks her up even though his arm is broken, and she takes the opportunity to internally romanticize the moment, imagining that she is Scarlet O’Hara. But a short while later, she asks Sam to drive her home without thinking about offering Eric a bottle of True Blood even though they’re right in front of the bar. The most egregious example of this phenomenon occurs when Eric’s vampire brother has massacred all of the staff at his home. Sookie arrives to find several vampires and humans slaughtered on the premises while Eric is desolate and in excruciating pain with his ribs ripped through his chest. He tells her that he needs her to push his ribs back into place and that Pam was there as well, and Sookie proceeds to chastise him for not springing into action to go after his brother. When tears form in his eyes, she grows impatient and questions why he hasn’t called someone to come clean up yet. It isn’t until midway through the conversation that she tells Jason to push Eric’s ribs in so he can heal, and it is only on accident that Jason happens to find Pam, who is thankfully not dead.

Sookie's system of morals is so rigid that, when she participates in violence, she suppresses her own personal responsibility and projects blame on the people around her in order to continue believing that she is a good person.

After the massacre referenced in the paragraph above, Eric and Sookie must fight his crazed brother and several fairies at her house, slaying his maker in the process. When they are victorious, Sookie is immediately revolted by the bloodshed. Eric, meanwhile, is flooded with relief that he is free of his maker, who subjected him to hundreds of years of rape and slavery when he was first turned into a vampire. Sookie knows this, and in fact can feel the emotions radiating from him, but she seems to despise Eric for feeling anything but repugnance in that moment. This appears to be her coping strategy any time she participates in violence—she negates her own culpability and creates moral distance between herself and Eric by judging his reaction to be grotesque. The same thing happens when they are able to kill the brutally cruel vampire regent who was actively trying to ruin Eric and was responsible for attempts on Sookie’s life and who refused permission for Pam to turn her human lover into a vampire before she died. Eric and Pam are joyous that they have won and that the regent cannot torment them any longer. Sookie, who helped plan the attack and in fact dealt part of the killing blow to the regent, is abruptly disgusted when Eric embraces her and kisses her. It does not occur to her that he might be relieved that she was unharmed in the battle and that the constant threat to them all has been eliminated. Instead, she assumes that he’s trying to have sex with her and tells him she’s not interested in a manner that clearly conveys her revulsion. Eric does not handle the conflict gracefully, and bites her harshly to drink from her after he tells her she’s being a hypocrite, which only gives her more reason to push her guilt away and project it onto him.

Sookie’s youth and inexperience serves as a barrier to navigating the turbulent waters of a real relationship.

Sookie had never been in a relationship before Bill, and she only has one other relationship between breaking up with Bill and getting together with Eric. While she enjoys the ‘honeymoon’ phase of her relationships, she flounders when it comes time to address communication issues or outside pressures. Neither Sookie nor Eric find it easy to establish an open channel of communication, but Sookie actively seeks to end serious conversations early or avoid them altogether, while being stunned that Eric initiates conversations about their relationship, something that she thinks all men avoid. At one point, she tells Eric that they need to talk and then starts discussing what she refers to as their “irreconcilable differences.” The conversation seems to be veering into breakup territory, and they’re deeply involved in it when someone knocks on her door. She immediately invites her unexpected guests in and is relieved by the excuse to terminate the conversation abruptly even though Eric is still trying to figure out what’s going on. At other times, she observes that she loves Eric, but she’s not feeling the same lust or excitement when she thinks about him anymore. Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship knows that passions often wax and wane, and that it also takes work to sustain and strengthen a relationship over time. Sookie is unwilling to put in the work or even have an honest discussion about the things they need to work on. She talks about romance novels a lot, and it seems to me that she has an idealized concept of love where she believes that they should be effortless and that passions should always be as hot as they were at the beginning. There are also times when she behaves in an extremely childish manner in the midst of conflict. After she severs the magical bond between her and Eric, he comes to her house and her main concern is whether or not he’s mad, while he asks her if she still loves him. She stubbornly insists he has to answer her question first even though she’s the one who broke the bond. On another occasion, Eric’s king comes into town and he is required to be at the monarch’s beck and call. Sookie gets mad at him and tells him she doesn’t want to see him one day, then is even more irritated that he isn’t calling her the next. Soon after, Eric is dealing with an endless litany of personal disasters that he can’t control, and he is short with her. Sookie listens to him confide in her about his problems and then responds with sharp-edged, sarcastic contempt, telling him that she has information that might have helped him with his problems and she might have told him if he wasn’t neglecting her.

Sookie’s limited understand of cultures that are unlike her own leads to misguided assumptions and fatal misunderstandings.

As the books progress, Sookie’s knowledge about vampire culture and governance grows incrementally, but she never approaches their customs with the same open-mindedness that she uses when it comes to werewolves or shapeshifters and their customs. This proves to be a major problem in her relationship with Eric, where there are two unfamiliar cultures at play—the modern culture of vampires, and the ancient culture of Eric’s human life. Sookie often refers to Eric as her “big Viking,” but she never gleans any insight about the culture in which he was raised. She seems to believe that he does not have much respect for women and projects American pre-Women's liberation attitudes on him even though he does not express those beliefs. When he offers to have her come live with him, she assumes that he wants her to be a housewife who cooks and cleans for him. She takes offense, and Eric is confused by her response. As Sookie’s situation becomes more perilous and she is injured multiple times in attacks at Merlotte’s, Eric asks her repeatedly to come live with him and/or work at Fangtasia so that he can protect her. She rebuffs these proposals, believing that they are rooted in misogyny. Sookie is also disinterested in understanding vampire culture, tuning Eric out when he explains things to her and refusing to accept that their rules and customs are different from her own when they inconvenience her. In particular, she never seems to understand the feudal system of governance under which the vampires live. When Eric is obliged to obey his maker or wait on his king or queen, Sookie is consistently irritated that he is not paying enough attention to her. She either does not understand or will not accept that vampires are not free to do whatever they want. This becomes a huge problem in the latter three books after a king from another state annexes Louisiana and kills every sheriff except Eric, putting him in a precarious position. Backed into a corner, he must maneuver very carefully to protect himself and everyone who is loyal to him. At the same time, he learns that his maker entered into a contract to marry him to the vampire Queen of Oklahoma against his will. Sookie refuses to believe Eric when he tells her that there is no way out of the contract, repeatedly insisting that if he loved her enough, he would just refuse to honor it. She holds him to the standards of her own culture, remaining willfully ignorant of the horrible consequences that could befall them both if Eric were to disobey. When she learns she can intervene and save Eric from his fate, she refuses, adamant in her belief that he will find his own escape clause if he truly wants to. The end result of her refusal is that Eric is forced into 200 years of “cushy slavery,” as Sookie calls it, a fate that does not inspire any guilt or pity in her, presumably because she still sees herself as a jilted lover.

At the end of the day, Eric deserved a lot better than Sookie.

He also deserved a lot better from the author, and a lot of people were justifiably outraged with the ending that Charlaine Harris gave to him. Harris, by way of Sookie, repeatedly reminds the reader that the Queen of Oklahoma is a very attractive woman, and it seems that this is intended to excuse the fact that Eric would be contractually obligated to have sex with her whether he wanted to or not. Eric expresses no desire for the queen, constantly asserting his commitment to and love for Sookie. When he admits that he would be required to consummate the relationship with the queen, he seems discomforted and ashamed at the idea. (Harris specifically uses the word “abashed.”) It is revealed to Sookie that the queen conspired to put Eric in this predicament specifically because she knew he valued his independence too much to ever agree to it willingly. Sookie knows that Eric was forced to service his maker sexually against his will, and that what he hates above all else is to be subjugated. She also knows that he will not be a monarch if he marries the queen; he will be her consort, a position that carries with it no inherent power or authority unless the queen gives it to him, and he will not be able to ever succeed her. Even despite all of this, Sookie is completely unsympathetic toward Eric. The author never acknowledges that this ending for Eric essentially means that he will be raped. What astounds me is that I don’t think she would have made his choice for a female character, or if she did, she would not have framed it in the same way. Sookie’s casual dismissal of Eric being sold into “cushy slavery” implies that male rape is no big deal, which is incredibly harmful. It is astounding that she would subject the primary love interest of the entire series to such a fate, and it’s the final nail in the coffin for Sookie Stackhouse for me, at least in her book incarnation. If any of her other love interests had been put in similar circumstances, I can’t imagine what she would not do to try to save them. But because it was Eric—her big, strong Viking who she believes is incapable of feeling emotions or pain and must be invincible in order to be valued by her—Sookie thinks nothing of it. Nothing at all.

@grimeundglow @stevesharrlngtons @scxrsgxrd @grandpa-sweaters

#I have been waiting to say all of this for weeks #thank you for putting up with my quote spam #TV Sookie is fine #TV Sookie can be with Eric if she wants #Eric Northman #Southern Vampire Mysteries #Southern Vampire Mysteries Spoilers #English Major Rants #The Longest Rant She Ever Ranted

[she-who-the-river-could-not-hold]

fic writer interview

I was tagged by @easilydistractedbyfanfic - thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I’m at 64 right now!! Which is both very cool and also depressing in its own way lol. Once I get through my prompts, I think I’ll be at 72. I have a few more ideas but wow, so many. 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Currently 675,425! which feels pretty crazy to think about.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Total I think is six. Back in the day: Harry Potter, W.I.T.C.H., Young Dracula. More recently: The 100, Stranger Things, Six of Crows. 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Stardust, In You and In Me – Bellarke, college AU + soulmarks 2. I Heard You – Mileven, college AU + meet cute 3. Traces of You – Bellarke, royalty + arranged marriage 4. In the Gravity of You – Bellarke, fake dating + sci fi vibes 5. Prisoner's Dilemma – Bellarke, S5 canon compliant kiss (my first Bellarke fic!)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes I do!! I try to at least, I don't get enough to feel fine leaving them be haha. I'm a bit behind at the moment but I do try to always make time to go and respond to them! It means a lot to me that people could have a response to something I write and I want to make sure that I acknowledge the extra step they take by commenting!

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Easily the road gets tough – it’s a Harper x Monty, apocalypse AU and it deals with her S5 arc where she struggles to find a reason to keep going. She doesn’t die in the fic... but yeah. Secondary is Imitation which is an AU of the The Thing, written for Troped: Horror. It’s vaguely Memori but one of the tropes is Final Girl so it’s not a happy ending obviously.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Not anymore, but one of my first fics on ffn.net was a Harry Potter and Young Dracula crossover! Never went anyway but a delightful attempt by younger me.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven’t! I’ve had a few “this was interesting” comments that definitely feel off haha, but no outright hate. To be fair I don’t receive a lot of comments in general but definitely no hate! Which I’m very thankful for.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Occasionally. It’s not my favorite thing to write so it’s usually somewhat vague, kind of standard. I think I’ve written more sex dreams than actual smut! If anything I’d like to eventually explore more k!nk type smut since I think you can do cool character work with it. 

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't know, not officially if anyone has at least! I'd be incredibly flattered.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t! Though I have co-written a story that looking back was essentially fanfic. In sixth grade one of my friends and I wrote a book together and it was pretty much our take on the Peter and the Starcatcher books. But in fanfic specifically I haven’t and I’m not sure it’s something I’d be inclined to do! 

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I can’t choose!! To write, probably Bellarke. But Mulder x Scully is a top tier one that I just don’t think I’ll ever write. Kanej now has me by the throat but I’m weirdly anxious about writing them. 

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I had an X-Files, Stranger Things AU that I’m sad I abandoned. I’m worried about at least half of my WIPs tbh haha. But we’ll see. One of them is going to involve a lot of work and it didn’t get any sort of response from people, which obviously doesn’t mean everything, but that’s definitely one that I’m nervous about having the motivation which makes me sad. It’s one of my faves. 

15. What are your writing strengths?

To be a complete broken record, I’m mainly just good at world building. To me I write to create movies in a written format. I think also since my inspiration tends to come from movies, I like to think I have creative ideas for stories. Since I don’t really seek out standard tropes anymore, I don’t really relay them too much in my fics which I think is a nice change of pace if someone is looking for it! 

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I really feel like my dialogue is clunky. I just don’t think I have a good ear for it and I struggle with making characters sound like themselves in AUs. It might not be as noticeable as it feels but I always dread it. I also think I often have ideas that are too big for what I’m capable of pulling off and I’m always worried that the “big” moments won’t come across.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

For me so far, the only other language that comes up is the "Grounder" language and I avoid it at all costs. I think otherwise just try your best to make it feel authentic! I’ve never tried or considered it so I’m not sure I have many other thoughts.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I believe it was Harry Potter! Back on mugglenet I think was where I first shared them. I don’t even remember what I wrote tbh, I just remember the terrifying approval process.

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Probably my Bellarke, Midsommar fic though if I had to choose. It’s come so naturally to me and it’s the most confident I’ve been writing something. I really enjoy the themes and plot points I’ve been able to explore. It’s just a bonus that people like it, it’s really become a special fic for me since I first came up with it.

----

Tagging: @kindclaws, @thelittlefanpire, @hopskipaway, @burninghoneyatdusk, @kinetic-elaboration, and anyone else who wants to join in! 

#kathryn writes #get to know me

[strayingdawn]

Can I request a felix one where they go to a small shop to buy snacks at midnight and get in a tiny bit of trouble with the store owner by accident?

Of course! And sorry this took so long, I hope you like it! :) (I didn’t mean for it to get this long...oops. Sorry about that) >and feedback from anyone is always appreciated uwu

wc: 1,8k

——————————————————————————

“Are you crying?” Felix asked you with slight amusement in his eyes as he lifted one eyebrow.

“What?! Why would I be cr-” A startling hiccup interrupted your sentence. “... Okay, maybe I teared up a little.” No one would believe your failed attempt at denial if they could see you, and Felix had a front-row seat. Your red-rimmed eyes slightly stung as more salty streams of tears flowed down your face. The image was quite pitiful without context. However, in this scenario, Felix couldn’t help but let a few giggles escape him.

You and Felix had been trying to schedule a night to spend together for weeks, maybe even months at this point. Whenever you both thought you had finally set a date, one of your teachers would rip it from your fingertips and replace it with a new project or test to study for. Sure, you could have study dates, but you both know that your heightened crackhead energy when together and deliriousness induced by deadlines would not mix well. In short, you would both fail. And if you weren’t both drowning in assignments, either you would have a club meeting or Felix would have a swim meet.

However, finally, the odds were in your favor. After many tiring weeks of missing each other's warmth, smiles, and comfort, you both found a clear weekend.

So, tonight, you’re in your bedroom, surrounded by many blankets you didn’t even know you owned inside the elaborate fort you and Felix managed to somehow build. Of course, the first attempt failed after you “accidentally” passed a pillow to Felix while he wasn’t looking which resulted in a pillow fight, and Felix cheating by tickling you. Obviously, you still won, but that’s not important. You finally finished your fort after cleaning up the pillows and blankets that were scattered everywhere (including the pillow that somehow ended up on a curtain rod) and prepared Disney+ for your movie marathon while Felix got snacks downstairs.

Now, the reason why you’re crying right now. You and Felix were well aware that as long as you were involved, it wasn’t truly a Disney+ movie marathon if Hamilton was not played at least once throughout the night. And Felix is always willing to tolerate your addiction to the music and action that is Hamilton. However, with the number of times you’ve already watched it, which has surely exceeded fifty, he didn’t think you would still have the ability to cry by the final curtain call. Clearly, he was mistaken.

“Haven’t you seen this like fifty times?” he questioned with skepticism in his voice and some confusion painted on his face, especially since you usually remained neutral through any movie, despite the occasional teary eyes.

“Who cares! It’s heartbreaking seeing his monologue before death, Burr’s guilt, and then Eliza goes on to tell his story and the stories of others,” more sobs break through the air as you recall the final scenes. Sure, you could admit you were being a little dramatic, but how could anyone not find someone’s death and unfinished legacy depressing. “Wait...did we run out of snacks?”

But of course, food is some of the best medicine for sadness, and easily snaps you out of your misery.

“Huh, I guess so…”

“Well, what do you want to watch next? I can set it up while you get more.”

“About that...those were all the snacks you had…”

“What! What do you mean that’s all I had? It wasn’t even that much!” You knew you went through lots of snacks this past week while you studied since you usually pushed eating an actual meal to the side, prioritizing your work. But you didn’t know you basically cleared out the kitchen.

“Well, what are you yelling at me for? I’m not the one who runs on four hours of sleep a night and depends on candy and coffee to make up for it.”

“Okay, now's not the time point to point out my poor life choices.” You paused for a second, trying to think of a solution for your dilemma. “Well, what are we supposed to do now? It’s,” you glanced at your bedside clock, “12:00 am.”

“We could go to that little shop down the street” Felix suggested, but you weren’t sure you should go anywhere this late at night, especially in your current state, even though the idea of food was pretty persuading.

“I don’t know..should we be going out this late?” You were all for adventures, and you considered your neighborhood to be pretty safe, but your warm fort and stuffed animals tempted you to stay. Felix noticed your hesitation.

“Come on. It’s not like we’ve never gone out for a late-night snack before...plus, we can get creamsicles,” he said, nudging your shoulders, knowing you couldn’t deny your favorite ice cream. Curse Felix and the way he knows you like the back of his hand.

You sighed, also knowing he had you hooked. “Fine,” you huffed. “Let’s go.” You stood up and held out your hand, which he gladly grasped onto as he rose to his feet as well.

“Wow, you’ll really do anything for creamsicles,” Felix teased with a slight smirk that you could see in your peripheral vision.

“Oh shut up, you act like we’re going on some death-defying journey,” you roll your eyes at Felix’s attempt to provoke you. He simply shrugged his shoulders and chuckled a little.

As soon as you stepped out of your front door, you felt the gentle breeze envelope you. It wasn’t too cold nor was it too warm; it was slightly cool and simply refreshing. The soft wind pushed your hoodie and sweatpants into your body like a hug and blew your hair out of your face giving you a clear view of the night sky. The stars twinkled like glitter on a black piece of paper. You felt connected with everything as you inhaled a deep breath. You started to get lost in your surroundings until Felix’s slight tug on your arm brought you back to reality.

“Oh, sorry. I forgot how much I enjoy nights like these.” You had a relaxed smile on your face, as you admired the stars and the shapes they created while walking beside him.

Felix simply hummed, submitting the earlier, breathtaking image of you at such peace into his memory. “It’s fine. It does feel really nice out here. Aren’t you glad I convinced you to come?” He asked in a rather teasing tone.

“Yeah, yeah. Ya did good.” You rolled your eyes while letting out a chuckle. Felix followed with some of his famous giggles.

The rest of the small, five-minute walk was filled with little jokes and clowning each other if the other one tripped or stumbled. Before you knew it you were already walking into the little shop, and the woman, who you assumed was the owner since you’ve seen them at the shop in passing many times when the shop was closed, greeted you both, fairly friendly despite this late hour.

You and Felix separated once he suggested you could split up, considering you both knew each other’s likes and dislikes fairly well. You wandered across the beige floor tiles towards the chip aisle, while the drinks caught Felix’s attention.

After choosing seven bags of different chips, for variety of course, you noticed a certain stand-alone display across from you. It held quite the selection of little cake snacks. It seemed new which piqued your interest, so you decided to search for something that might suit your taste. Apparently, you must have been so focused on the baked goods that you didn’t even hear Felix’s steps coming toward you. Felix also noticed your diverted attention.

“Boo!”

Now, those who knew you well also knew your tendencies to be dramatic, especially when startled. So Felix’s sudden exclamation had you springing forward, arms flailing...right into the display. The whole snack arrangement wasn’t even that big, shorter than you, but it still managed to make a great boom and fading rumble as the impact sent waves of vibrations through the metal and some cakes went flying in different directions.

At first, you were frozen in complete shock, staring at the disaster in front of you. Until you caught a glimpse of the freckled boy who was now beside you, also surprised by your reaction.

“Felix!” You whisper-shouted in an accusing tone, even though the clear, loud crash surely already caught the store owner’s attention.

“What do you mean ‘Felix’? You’re the one who knocked it over!”

“And you’re the one who scared me which made me knock it over!”

“Well I didn’t know you were almost worse than Hyunjin and his dramatics!”

You let out an exasperated and somewhat panicked sigh. “Well, what do we-”

“Oh my goodness!” Oh no. You wouldn’t have to think about your question for too long, as the owner would surely give a solution. Whether that was good or bad, you didn’t know yet.

“Wh- I-I am s-so sorry! I was startled, a-and accidentally knocked it over! I promise it was an accident-” you fumbled for the right words to say, hoping the store owner would have mercy on you.

“Um...it’s fine..accidents do happen. However, you’ll have to pay for this mess you’ve created one way or another.” She still wore a calm, sweet smile that eased your worries.

“O-of course! We will gladly clean this mess for you.”

Felix noticed your specific choice of pronouns. “We?” You only jabbed Felix’s side with your elbow and confirmed what you said under your breath. As Felix attempted to reason with you, the store owner grabbed a garbage bin for the few treats that didn’t take the fall as well as others.

Forty-five minutes and a whining Felix later, the display was basically back to its original state, minus a few snacks. Thankfully, the owner didn’t immediately kick you out after your work was done and continued to assure you that the two of you were still welcome anytime. So, you both walked out with bags full of drinks and food to last you a week full of movie marathons, unless you get flooded with work and revert to old habits, of course.

“I still can’t believe you dragged me into your mess,” Felix commented, still seeming a little salty about being forced, by you, to clean up the little cakes crushed by the display. However, you knew his frown was only a disguise, so he could give you a hard time. Felix would have helped even if you had begged him not to. He might laugh at your misery first but would still lend a hand nevertheless.

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad. Besides, it was worth it,” you held up the bag you were holding full of ice cream. A smile slowly appeared on your face as you remembered Felix’s words from earlier. Felix seemed to catch on quickly, so you both spoke your thoughts aloud.

“Anything for creamsicles.”

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #lee felix #stray kids felix #stray kids fluff #skz #skz scenarios #skz felix #skz fluff #stray kids imagines #skz imagines

[staysuki]

I didn’t expect such interest in my views, the praise is so lovely 🥰 if Ash would like me to I would love to share my analyse of each chapter 🍕anon. I have the tendency to psychoanalyse people and their behaviours so feel free to correct me if I lead on the wrong foot. I wanted to add some thoughts that popped into my head the other day.

Conflict is in its inception phase. Season one has set in motion the following.

Seungmin and Jeongin’s competition: Ryujin informed y/n in episode 3 that Seungmin has always been top student in regards to his academics. However she briefly alluded to the fact that Jeongin is equally as intelligent and could pose as competition. Whether true or not it was rumoured that ‘Seungmin would go at any lengths to maintain his status’. A stoic type if you will. Yuna made comment in the same chapter that Seungmin claimed ‘he had been pushing himself too hard because Jeongin was catching up and he can’t effort to drop even a single number’. This could potentially cause conflict in future if Jeongin exceeds Seungmin intellectually. How seungmin might react is uncertain? That uncertainty could be dangerous. Many characters seem to claim they know seungmin personally, that he is capable of doing things on his own and works more effectively without help but they don’t seem to know the depth of his personality. He could very much need that help in order to understand that if someone was to surpass his level, it doesn’t undermine his intelligence or integrity. Just a thought.

Extra cred dilemma: Han made clear in ep 4 that the services done by the A.S.S club give credits affiliated with subjects of similar accord. For example (giving Minho’s cats a home) > (vet class credit). y/n makes a valid point in episode 5 asking what it is they need to do to receive credit for classes that they need more than others. The problem is it was never elaborated on. Hyunjin took to accusing Jisung of running an unsuccessful meeting and the query was left in the dust. Sooner or later the group will come to realise that all this work they are putting into helping others through this club has lead them astray to there own needs. Not sure if anyone spotted that one.

Everyone against Hyunjin: it’s not that the others are against Hyunjin but they seems to have a stained perspective of what his personality comes down to. He’s sleazy, he’s emotional, he’s manipulative. It’s clear he has made a bad rap for himself and is evident in how he is described. Fundamentally Hyunjin needs a lot of guidance and affection. He mentioned to y/n in episode 13 that his family favours Yeji over him. An estranged family connection makes for alot of hurt emotionally, hense his lashings out. I think it would be interesting to understand his dynamic with chan seen as chan checks in with him often. Hyunjin needs a nurturer and chan is definitely the nurturing type. But I wonder if Hyunjin overlooks chan because he sees him as an obstacle in the way of him doing what he pleases? He doesn’t like being told to be like others, his sister especially, and chan seems to reiterate to Hyunjin frequently that he must follow the same rules as everyone else. If there is anyone that might understand Hyunjin to some degree it’s chan, he just has to find a way to get through to him to unlock that reluctant door of letting others in.

I’ve got some more things I’ve been pondering on if you guys want to hear more. I’m really flustered that someone would even want to read what I’ve have to say. For reference I am female and use she/her pronouns but thank you for considering the latter bs anon. Your very kind all of you 💋

~Lovegame anon

ofc!! we all love hearing each other’s views and perspectives, it’s all just *chef’s kiss* 🤌. i’d love to hear all of em if it’s not too much to ask ofc like i said to bs anon, seeing the predictions and analysis for the characters breathes more life into their development so i love 🥰. i normally don’t correct anyone (as long as it’s not an important plot detail) because i also love the reactions whenever you find out whether you’re right or wrong as the story progresses. it’s like meta red herrings 😌🙏✨

and omg yes mwah. seeing all of those just gave me 💕💕💕💕. you are absolutely correct. truth be told, the things you listed were all supposed to be in season one because during the early days of this fic, i planned it to be just one continuous series (not breaking into seasons) and every conflict just happens all at once. however, i came across the problem of:

–so many characters became overwhelming to write, much less overarching arcs that happen at the same time hence why the focus of season one being on the dormitory boys and season two being on the student council

—the yeji bullying arc became so heavy and prevalent i decided to just make it the focal plot of season one

—i started dragging my feet midway through it so i wanted to take a break after yeji’s arc (which i now decided to break into seasons hence the updated masterlist)

anyway, good catch! one of the reasons why i got my motivation back with ehaloj is because of the overwhelming amount of support and responses that i get. it’s just been so heartwarming and it got me back on my feet to continue (almost ended up stopping ehaloj after season one but i didn’t want to put all my ideas to waste) so i’m glad it’s getting more traction and people are getting more interested to the point of sending asks, i love them!

i love how you even cited the chapters 🥺🥺🥺. those were some very good and indepth observations. i WISH i could respond to them but i really really don’t want to spoil anything because you kinda threw me offguard there 🤧🤌 but i just love this ask sm, i can’t tell you how much i appreciate the thought of someone appreciating my fic so much that you even remember the clued in plot hooks from long ago. i love dropping those a lot, if you’ll notice in the afterparty chapter (aside from the lovegame aspect of it) there’s also a ton of hook clues that i dropped 🤧.

and yes please, we would love to hear more. actually i want to hear all of it 🥲👑 you dropped this 👑👑👑

#anon: lovegame #anon: bub stop. #pizza anon #anon:🍕 #uwu #♥️ #ehaloj thoughts

[ratnumber21]

Mabel is Bi Headcanon

She started questioning her sexuality sometime during her boy crazy phase

She brushed it off as her hormones acting up and all that jazz

Until she couldn't keep her eyes off of the new (female) lifeguard at the pool one day post-boy crazy phase

Mabel didn't know what to think

She was afraid to tell Dipper in fear of him judging her

I mean, she makes fun of her brother all the time, who's to say he won't use her sexuality as an opportunity to get back at her, right?

She pretended to have another boy crazy phase as an attempt to push away those feelings

The more she pushed them away, the more she realized she wasn't as fully attracted to guys as she thought

She began getting all fidgety whenever a girl was within a 10-foot radius of her

One time when she and Dipper were helping Soos out in the gift shop, a girl around their age approached Mabel asking if there was another t-shirt in her size

Mabel froze on the spot

The girl tried asking if she was okay, but Mabel turned into a babbly mess and was unable to answer

The girl grew uncomfortable and walked away

Dipper saw the whole thing

Dipper: "Haha, you acted like I normally do whenever a pretty girl talks to me.”

Mabel, internally: Oh boy...

She was afraid of what this meant

She knew everyone in Gravity Falls was very supportive

But what about back at home?

The kids at school picked on Dipper simply for having a unique birthmark

Imagine what they would do if they found out that Mabel wasn't totally straight

Mabel couldn't sleep one night due to her overthinking the possible scenarios of telling her friends and family about her dilemma

"What would Dipper say?" "What if he tells Stan?" "What if he tells Mom and Dad?" "Would they disown me?" "What would Candy and Grenda say?" "Oh god" "I can't lose Candy and Grenda, they're my people!" "And what about Waddles?!"

She became overwhelmed and realized she needed to get this off her chest

Dipper was already off the table

And she was afraid Stan would be disappointed in her

And everyone else she knew was asleep

Except for one

Ford heard his niece coming before she burst through the elevator door, breathing heavily and tears streaking down her face

He ended up holding her while he walked around the basement, telling her soothing things and stroking her hair while she tried to steady her breathing

All while saying things like "they're gonna hate me!" and "they'll think I'm a freak!"

Once Mabel calmed down, she quietly asked her great uncle "What if I'm not entirely into boys?"

Ford dreaded a question like that

It's not that he didn't want to answer, he just hasn't been in this dimension for 30 years

He didn't know how much sexuality and gender identity had evolved since the 80s, and he never found the time to do research on it since he came back

He was just worried he wouldn't be able to guide his niece

He asked Mabel to elaborate and the story came pouring out

How she began looking at girls differently, how she acted like her brother whenever he was around pretty girls, and her fears of not being accepted by her family

Ford (who was thankful that he knew enough about the subject to be able to provide Mabel with solid advice) began by saying it's perfectly natural for her to question her sexuality

This started a whole conversation of Ford and Mabel exploring her possible sexuality

Ford then explained bisexuality

"But how come I like guys so much if I'm bi? Does this mean I might actually be straight?"

"No, you just have a larger preference for guys. Bisexuality is almost never 50/50. Some people think they're straight or gay because they like one gender so much they can forget they like another one as well."

"What if people don't react well when I tell them I'm bi after making it very clear that I was straight for the past few years?"

"You don't owe anyone an explanation. Your sexuality is your business and no one else's, okay?"

"But what if I'm not actually bi? What if I really am just confused?"

"There's no rush to figure out your sexuality now. You have your whole life ahead of you, sweetie. And you don't have to be so quick to label yourself. When you finally find the label that suits you, you'll know."

Ford also revealed that he, too, had struggled with his sexuality before ultimately concluding that he identifies as aromantic

Mabel is not surprised whatsoever

By the end of their talk, it’s past midnight and Mabel is more relieved than she’s ever been before

Ford is honored that Mabel trusted him enough to go to him for guidance for such a personal topic

He’s also happy that he got to spend more bonding time with his niece since he typically spends most of his time with either Dipper or Stan

Ford is about to send Mabel to bed when she confesses that she’s still a bit anxious that the rest of her family won’t accept her

Ford reassures her that they will before carrying Mable to her room himself

After tucking her in and turning to leave, Mabel whispers “Thanks for letting me talk to you Grunkle Ford”

Ford smiles and kisses his great-niece goodnight

The next morning, Mabel goes straight to Ford’s room just as he’s waking up to tell him she stayed up all night thinking about the things he taught her

She thinks she’s bi and she wants to tell Dipper and Stan

Ford is beyond proud of her (although he tells her to wait a few days just in case she isn’t quite sure yet)

Mabel comes out to Dipper and Stan as bisexual a few days later

Dipper is 100% supportive of his sister

Stan needed some explaining (he knew that bisexuality was a thing, he just didn’t realize there was a fancy name for it) but her supports her nonetheless

“Eh, as long as you’re happy and the person you’re with treats you right, I don’t care who you bring home. And as long as you wait until you’re at least 30 to bring said person home.”

Mabel said no promises

Bonus:

The Pines family was at Greasy's Diner to celebrate Mabel's coming to terms with her sexuality

They were getting ready to leave when Dipper and Mabel left to use the bathroom, leaving Stan and Ford alone at their table

Stan piped up saying that it was "interesting how easy it seems to be to figure this sorta stuff out these days"

Ford agrees but is unsure where this is going

Stan continues saying how if teens are struggling with something personal, the internet (and people on the internet going through the same) is right there to help them

"Heh, too bad we didn't have those things when we were teenagers huh Sixer?"

Ford is confused and Stan is suddenly tense and awkward

He explains he's never felt that kind of attraction towards anyone

He was always interested in getting a girlfriend, but he never really intended on going beyond kissing/possibly making out

Ford's eyes lit up and he immediately exclaimed: "WE'RE BOTH ACE SPECS!"

"WE'RE BOTH A-WHATS?!"

Ford explained that there was a spectrum that included different sexualities regarding the lack of sexual/romantic attraction

(for the record, Ford took time to do more research since his conversation with Mabel so he's pretty much an expert on sexuality and gender identity now)

He asks Stan how long he's felt this way

Stan says since high school

Ford asks why he didn't tell him

Stan reveals that he assumed he wasn't done with puberty yet/he didn't want Ford to think that there's something wrong with him

He also didn't want to disappoint their father "more than he already had"

Ford says that he would've accepted him no matter what

"Besides, if Dad ever did find out, he would've been disappointed in the both of us."

"Huh?"

"Like I said before, we're both on the Ace Spectrum. Only instead of lacking sexual attraction like you, I lack romantic attraction."

"Sooo what does that make the two of us?"

"Well, by the looks of it, it seems that you're some form of asexual and I'm aromantic."

"Some form of it??"

"Well, yes. You see, asexual can serve as an umbrella term. There's also gray asexual, demisexual-"

Stan thinks he's going to have a stroke

Ford promises him that they'll look more into it tomorrow

**Please be aware that I am not bisexual/asexual/aromantic so if I got something wrong PLEASE tell me and I'll correct it**

Hope you enjoyed! (If anyone makes a short fic out of this pls be sure to tag me (I want to write one myself, but I don't think I have time))

#gravity falls #gravity falls headcanon #mabel pines #gravity falls mabel #gf #gf mabel #bi mabel #bisexual mabel #dipper pines #gf dipper #stanley pines #stan pines #grunkle stan #stanford pines #ford pines #grunkle ford #stan twins #aromantic ford #asexual stan #my works

[tomhiddlestonfanfic]

A Step Too Far? Chapter Ten Merely a Setback

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 - Ch. 10 - Ch. 11

TITLE: A Step Too Far? NUMBER OF CHAPTERS/ONE SHOT: 10/? WHICH TOM CHARACTER: Stepfather Tom OTHER CHARACTERS: Benedict Cumberbatch, Andrew Scott PAIRING: Tom/OFC, Benedict Cumberbatch/OFC GENRE: Drama, Hurt/Comfort

CHAPTER TEN Merely a Setback

For the first time since she started working at the office, Nina called in sick. Tom looked at her concernedly and took her temperature before he had to head off to work. She didn't have a fever and there was nothing physically wrong with her, she was just feeling like she couldn’t bring herself to get out of bed. The guilt was like a much too heavy weighted blanket over her.

Her mother came inside her room several times throughout the day, expressing her worry and trying to get her to eat or drink something. She even brought up one of Nina’s energy drinks from downstairs in hopes of getting her to ingest at least something other than some water along with her medications. But Nina just remained in bed all day, trying to sleep as much as possible. It was not a good day, and she just wanted it to be over.

When Tom came home from work, he had a colourful flower bouquet with him from Stina. There was a little card on it reading ‘Get well soon. Love, Stina.’

“I’ll put those in a vase for you,” Helena told her with a smile and soon came back with the flowers placed in an old vase that she had always been very careful with and only brought forward on special occasions.

“But that’s grandmother’s old vase, what if I break it?” Nina objected as her mother smilingly put down the antique vase on her bedside table.

“Darling, I want you to have it. That’s why I’ve been so careful with it all those years. Last I checked you are no longer throwing bouncing balls around the house, so you have nothing to worry about,” Helena assured her. Nina smiled briefly at the mention of bouncing balls. It had been a subject of discussion when she was a child not to throw bouncing balls around the house.

“Good old times,” Nina reminisced. “I believe I might still have some left somewhere. I’ll save them for Will for when he’s old enough.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” her mother laughed and gently caressed her cheek. “It’s good to see you smile. Maybe you’ve just had an off day. Should we try turning it around?” she suggested.

“Okay,” Nina agreed and climbed out of bed. She went downstairs to hang out with Tom and the baby as her mother cooked dinner.

“Are you feeling any better?” Tom asked as she slumped down next to him on the sofa. He handed over the baby to her and the two siblings cuddled. He was barely awake and smiled one of his toothless smiles that made her heart melt.

“I love him so much,” Nina said, avoiding his question.

“So do I. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Tom told her sincerely.

“He’s the best thing that ever happened to me too. I want to see him grow up,” Nina said emotionally. She did want to see what kind of person her little brother would grow up to be, and she couldn’t do that if she decided to end her own life.

“It’s going to be amazing. We have so much to look forward to as a family,” Tom told her with a warm smile. “I’ll probably regret saying this, but I can’t wait until he gets old enough for you to teach him pranks. He’s going to love it.”

They continued to talk about the future, and Nina felt a sting of bad consciousness for having considered giving all of that up in a particularly dark moment.

“You know I’m here if you need to talk, right? About anything at all,” Tom told her earnestly and she smiled gratefully at him. “I’ve noticed that there’s been something weighing you down lately. I wish you would talk to someone about it.”

“You want me to see a psychologist,” Nina concluded.

“I’ve been recommended one. He’s english speaking, but you don’t mind that, do you?” Tom asked.

“Who recommended him and why?” Nina asked suspiciously.

“Andrew mentioned that he and Josef had seen a therapist, and that he strongly would recommend him if me or anyone I knew needed someone to talk to,” Tom explained. Nina nodded in response. During one of their numerous chats over the phone, Josef had actually mentioned that he and Andrew were seeing a couples therapist.

“Okay, I suppose I could give it a shot,” Nina agreed with a shrug. Perhaps she could come clean about her troubles to a therapist. It couldn’t hurt to try, now could it?

“Really?” Tom asked, seemingly expecting some more resistance from her. “I’ll call him right away,” he said, picking up his phone.

Tom left the room for some privacy and came back a couple of minutes later with a smile on his face. “He could see you tomorrow at nine,” he informed her.

“That’s early,” Nina sighed, having planned to sleep most of the day away.

“I take it you’re not planning on coming to work tomorrow either,” Tom assumed and looked at her thoughtfully.

“I still have a stomach ache,” Nina insisted and refocused her attention to her little brother. “Who’s a cute baby boy? You are. Oh, yes, you are.”

“I’ll make sure someone drives you there if I can’t do it myself. He has a home office and it’s a bit far to walk if you get there by bus,” Tom informed her. Nina didn’t have a driver’s license, so she couldn’t drive there herself, and her mother would rather not drive at all if she could avoid it.

“Okay, thanks,” Nina replied and smiled appreciatively at him. She felt both nervous and good about seeing a therapist, now that she had a real dilemma to talk about. In her earlier experiences with therapy, she had found it hard to put into words what exactly was wrong in her life. She had so many reasons to be happy and grateful, yet she wasn’t. Now she had something more substantial to talk about.

The next morning, Nina was woken up by her mother who told her to get dressed quickly so she wouldn’t be late for her therapy. Tom was outside in his car waiting for her. Newly awakened and confused, Nina quickly cleaned herself up in the bathroom before throwing some clothes on. She didn’t have time to apply any makeup or even brush her hair.

“Here, put your hair up,” her mother advised and handed her a hair elastic once she got downstairs. Nina put her hair up in a sloppy bun on her head and went to the fridge to grab an energy drink. “Perhaps he could hypnotise you into stop drinking those,” her mother told her humorously. Nina snorted at her mother’s comment before hurriedly heading out the door.

“Are you good to go?” Tom asked her and started the car. Nina nodded and grimaced slightly as she looked at herself in the rearview mirror. She didn’t like how she was looking without makeup on.

“I look like shit,” she muttered to herself.

“You look beautiful, as always,” Tom assured her. The drive to the therapist’s office went by rather quickly. “I’ll be back in an hour to pick you up,” Tom informed her before she reluctantly got out of the car.

Nina felt nervous as she slowly walked up to the house with the energy drink in her hand. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves before ringing the doorbell. She instantly regretted not putting on any makeup the moment she saw the handsome man who opened the door. He was surprisingly muscular for a therapist and quite tall, his hair was dark, his eyes greyish blue and he had a friendly smile on his perfectly chiseled face.

“You must be Nina,” the man greeted her and held out his hand towards her. She blushed as she moved the energy drink from her right hand to her left in order to shake his hand. “I’m Henry.”

“Hej, hi,” Nina mumbled awkwardly in response. Why did he have to be so excruciatingly hot? “I’m sorry I look like a disaster, I forgot to set an alarm,” she apologised once she noticed how nicely dressed he was in a blue checkered shirt, black tie, brown jacket and matching pants.

“You don’t need to apologise about your appearance,” Henry assured her and showed her to his office down the hall. “This way.”

Nina seated herself on the sofa and placed her energy drink on the coffee table as she watched Henry take the seat in the armchair opposite to her. “I can see that you already have something to drink,” he noted and motioned towards the energy drink on the table as he picked up the notepad and a pen from the coffee table. Nina nodded wordlessly and looked around the office which was decorated with dark wooden furniture and had a homey feel to it. It was a vast contrast to the mostly white and sterile therapist’s offices she had visited before.

“So Nina, would you like to tell me about what brings you here today?” Henry said and Nina sighed softly.

“I don’t know,” she replied, unsure if she was willing to tell him the truth about how much she had messed up her life lately. When the therapist looked at her thoughtfully through his black rimmed glasses, Nina added; “My mom and my stepfather thought I should go see a therapist, and someone recommended you.”

“I see,” the therapist replied. “So are you here only because your mother and stepfather wanted you to come here?” he wondered.

“That’s partly why,” Nina replied and searched her mind for what to say next. “I haven’t been feeling so good lately.”

“Would you like to elaborate what you mean when you say that you’ve not been feeling so good?” Henry requested as he looked at her with interest.

“Well, I’ve been feeling bad a lot lately… like, I’ve felt guilty and ashamed. I feel like I’m a horrible person.”

“Those are very difficult feelings to have,” Henry told her empathically. “Do you think those feelings are justified or may they be blown out of proportion?” he asked her as he took down some notes on his notepad.

“I think they are justified,” Nina admitted embarrassedly. “I wish they weren’t, but they are.”

“And why is that?” Henry questioned and looked at her inquiringly. She felt as though he was looking straight into her soul and instantly broke eye contact with him. She picked up her energy drink from the table and took a sip before putting it back down again. “I notice that my question is making you uncomfortable, so I’ll ask you about some other things instead. How would you describe your relationship with your mother?” 

“It’s alright I guess. We’ve always been pretty close, but I don’t feel like I can tell her everything, because I don’t want to make her worried. Especially now that she has to take care of my little brother. He’s only three weeks old,” Nina told him.

“Congratulations on getting a baby brother. What’s his name?” the therapist asked.

“Thanks. His name is William,” Nina said with a smile. “I was with them in the delivery room when he was born. It was the most powerful moment of my life.”

As they continued to talk about her family and her close relationships, Nina came to realise that the one she had been talking to the most about personal things lately was Tom. The hour went by quickly as they mapped out her social relationships and talked about each of the people she mentioned. It was nice, Nina thought to herself as she got herself ready to leave the office. Their chat had made her realise that she wasn’t as alone in the world as she sometimes felt. She had her mother, Tom, Stina, Jim and a whole bunch of other people she could contact if she wanted to go out for a coffee or beer. They decided together that she should take up contact with her father before their next meeting following week.

“How did it go?” Tom asked interestedly once she got in the car with him. Nina smiled at him and shrugged.

“It went well, I suppose. He gave me an assignment,” she told him.

“What was the assignment?” Tom asked curiously.

“That I should take up contact with my father. It’s been months since I last saw him,” Nina explained.

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Tom said with a smile. He had always been the bigger person when it came to her father, who seemed to despise Tom for no other reason than that he was Nina’s stepfather and rich.

Nina smiled as she thought about her father who worked in a warehouse and despised the middle and upper class. He had divorced her mother when Nina was ten, but still seemed upset and jealous when Tom came into the picture when Nina had just turned eighteen. Her father had claimed that her mother only wanted Tom for his money, which she always thought was ridiculous since Tom had never been anything but a gentleman. Her mother would probably have fallen for his charms even if he had been poor.

“I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but when do you think you’ll be back to work?” Tom asked her as they approached their house.

“I suppose I could come back tomorrow,” Nina replied with a shrug.

“Really?” Tom asked, seemingly surprised by her answer.

“Yeah, I think I’m done feeling bad for myself,” she told him and made a slight grimace as she thought about her own behaviour of trying to shut out the rest of the world when what she really wanted was to be a part of it.

When she got home, Nina offered to take baby William out for a walk to let her mother have some rest. Her tired looking mother gratefully accepted the offer and Nina felt a sense of pride as she walked down the street with her little brother in the baby carriage. In the park, she saw other people in various ages playing with their children or walking around with baby carriages and strollers. She smiled to herself as she thought about how some people probably assumed that she was William’s mother. She imagined for a moment what it would be like to have a baby of her own, and that’s when she remembered that she had completely forgotten about the morning-after pill after having sex with Benedict.

With a sense of urgency, Nina went to the closest pharmacy and bought a morning-after pill. The pharmacists smiled at her and baby William, probably assuming that he was hers. Nina smiled proudly as they spoke softly to her little brother. She felt no need to correct anyone who thought he was her child.

When Nina got back home with William, she noticed that Tom’s car was in the driveway. She knew that he would sometimes come home during lunch breaks and smiled as she brought William with her inside.

“There you are,” Tom greeted them smilingly and carefully took the baby from Nina as she kicked off her shoes.

“How did it go? Is he hungry?” Helena asked, walking up to them.

“It went well. He slept most of the time, except for when we were at the pharmacy. He charmed everyone working there,” Nina informed her mother with a smile.

“That’s nice,” her mother replied with a smile as she reached out for her baby. “He’s sucking his hands, I think he’s hungry,” she told Tom who reluctantly handed over his son to her.

“What were you doing at the pharmacy?” Tom asked Nina once her mother had gone into the living room.

“Oh… I bought… caffeine pills,” Nina said slowly, grimacing slightly at how bad she was at coming up with a quick lie. She should never have mentioned the pharmacy.

“You shouldn’t take too much of those things,” Tom warned her, seemingly believing her lie. “You already ingest enough caffeine as it is in your energy drinks,” he said and held out his open hand towards her. “Give them to me.”

“N-no,” Nina huffed and took a step backwards.

“Why not? Are you hiding something?” Tom asked suspiciously. “If it’s ephedrine I-”

“It’s not ephedrine,” Nina sighed and took out the morning-after pill from her pocket. “Damn it, Tom,” she muttered.

“Oh,” Tom uttered once he saw what it was and blushed slightly. “I’m proud of you for taking responsibility.”

“Mhm,” Nina muttered and walked past him into the kitchen, where she grabbed an energy drink from the fridge to swallow down the morning-after pill with.

“I’m sorry for accusing you of taking ephedrine again,” Tom told her regretfully. “I just really care about you.”

“But you’ll throw me out if I start taking them again, how’s that caring?” Nina questioned irritably.

“I wouldn’t throw you out to live on the streets, but I would make sure to get you into rehab if you should need it,” Tom told her seriously. He crossed his arms as he watched her take the pill. “Did Jim come over yesterday?” he asked and Nina stared at him in horror. Was he onto her and Benedict? She frowned slightly as she shook her head. She had been alone in bed all day yesterday, which Tom would find out if he asked her mother about it.

“I met him on Monday, when I was out on a walk, if you necessarily have to know,” Nina told him brittly.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Tom apologised but kept looking at her inquiringly.

“Did you want to ask about anything else? What position we used perhaps? Or whether we had sex outdoors or not?” Nina questioned impudently.

Tom grimaced in response to her insolence and shook his head at her. “No, I was just thinking about something. Forget about it. It wasn’t about you,” Tom told her uncomfortably. “I brought you some lunch, we’re eating in the living room,” he informed her. Nina looked at him stubbornly. “It’s salad,” Tom added, causing her to smile a little. How could she possibly stay angry with him for being too inquisitive, when he was being so sweet?

Following day, Nina went to work with Tom. She yawned largely and leaned back in the passenger seat of the car with her eyes shut.

“I heard that Benedict shouted at you for misspelling his name,” Tom told her, causing her to open her eyes and look at him. “Does that have something to do with why you didn’t want to come to work?”

“A little bit,” Nina told him with a sigh as she recalled her fictive argument with Benedict.

“Well, I told him not to shout at you again, so you shouldn’t need to worry about that,” Tom assured her, causing her to blush in embarrassment for having caused Benedict trouble for something that didn’t even happen. “I also told him that if you need ‘a talking to’ about something, he should let me or Andrew take care of it.”

“Okay, thanks. You didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it,” Nina replied awkwardly, and blushed slightly as she thought about how Andrew’s talking to’s tended to include spankings.

Benedict asked Nina to come to his office once during the day, and to her surprise, he insisted that she should leave the door open as they talked.

“I just wanted to apologise about what happened. I shouldn’t have ‘shouted’ at you,” Benedict said with emphasis on the word shouted. Nina felt like he was really apologizing about what had actually happened between them.

“And I shouldn’t have misspelt your name,” Nina replied with an embarrassed smile as she thought about how she had asked him to fuck her. Benedict grinned widely in response, seemingly relieved and held out his hand towards her.

“Are we good?” he asked and she took his hand and shook it.

“We’re good,” she replied. As long as they could keep things professional they were good, she thought.

The two days at work before the weekend went well. Nina and Benedict had only work-related conversations and she made sure to always keep a distance between them to prevent any physical contact. Benedict obviously noticed, she could tell by his slightly raised eyebrow when she took detours to avoid him as they walked past each other. But he didn’t say anything about it. At some point, he even seemed amused by her efforts to stay away from him.

The weekend came, and Nina had dinner over at her father’s apartment. They ordered food since he didn’t particularly enjoy cooking and watched some TV together. They didn’t talk much, but that was okay because they didn’t need words in order to enjoy each other’s company. After a quiet afternoon in her father’s company, Nina took a long walk home instead of taking the bus. Her father would have given her a ride if he hadn’t had beer with his dinner. He expressed that he felt bad for not driving her home, but she assured him that it was alright. She also told him that Tom usually had wine with dinner during the weekends in order to make him feel better about himself.

“Did you have a good time at your dad’s?” Helena asked Nina once she got back home. Nina nodded in response and gave her mother a hug as tears filled her eyes.

“He seemed so lonely, mom,” Nina confided in her mother. “I should probably visit him more often.”

“I bet he would like that,” her mother encouraged. “But remember that it’s not your responsibility to make sure he’s not alone. He’s a grownup and he can take care of himself.”

“I know,” Nina sighed. “But still. I wish he would be able to spend more time with friends when he’s sober and not only when he’s drunk.”

“Well, we are all different when it comes to those things,” Helena said with a hint of sadness in her eyes.

“I know,” Nina said again. They had had this conversation before. “I’ll try to visit him more often. Maybe we could watch a movie next time.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” her mother agreed with a brilliant smile.

The weekend went by quickly. Too quickly for Nina’s liking. It felt like the weekend had just arrived and now it was time for work again.

Ever since their date, Nina and Stina had lunch together on a pretty much daily basis during the work week. A waiter at their most frequented restaurant jokingly referred to them as the twins, since they dressed so similarly and almost always ordered the same kinds of food. Nina very much enjoyed Stina’s company for lunch and was relieved that Stina never once commented on when Nina didn’t finish her food. It was bad enough that Tom and Andrew both seemed to have the habit of monitoring her food and caffeine intake.

As they got back to the office after lunch, the phone rang and Nina smiled as she instantly recognised the voice at the other end. It was Josef.

“Hi, Nina. Do you have time to talk?” he asked and she gladly told him yes. “How are things going with Stina?” he asked curiously.

“It’s pretty good. We have lunch together every day now,” Nina replied as she habitually began sorting the mail.

“Have you decided on having a second date yet?” Josef wondered. Nina frowned slightly as she realised that she hadn’t given it a moment of thought. Perhaps she should ask for a second date. Or was she looking for something serious?

“I haven’t really given it much thought,” Nina admitted and glanced over at Stina who had busied herself with work the moment she got back to the office. “She sent me flowers when I was sick. It was very sweet of her.”

“That is indeed very sweet. I have a feeling that she’s a keeper, Nina. You should ask her out for a second date,” Josef advised.

“But what should we do?” Nina asked insecurely.

“What do you like to do Nina?” Josef wondered.

“Go for long walks and watch different series on my computer,” Nina replied.

“Hmm… I could work with that,” Josef said and went silent for a moment. “Perhaps you could go for a walk, have a picnic and then go home to start watching a new series together?”

“But don’t you think she might find it boring?” Nina questioned.

“Nina, listen up. The whole point of dating is to get to know each other better, is it not?” Josef asked her, but didn’t wait for her reply. “Doing things you enjoy is a great way for Stina to get to know you.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Nina agreed, feeling inspired to try asking Stina out for a second date. “Thanks for the advice.”

Nina smiled up at Andrew as he stopped by her desk. ‘Is it Josef?’ he mouthed and she nodded in response. He shook his head smilingly at her and motioned for her to give him the phone.

“Josef... Nina has important work to do, you can’t keep calling her like this,” he admonished in a soft voice. “I know she said it’s alright, but she really needs to hang up now… Yes, I can… No, I don’t think that’s approp- Because I’m her boss… Fine, I’ll ask her… Yeah, I love you too. Bye.” Andrew hung up the phone and crossed his arms as he looked at Nina with a playfully admonishing look. “Having private conversations during work time, are we?” he asked her amusedly.

“Sorry, I was going to hang up,” Nina told him guiltily.

“Good, about that. Josef asked me if you could give him your private number. I tried to tell him that it was inappropriate, but he insisted I should ask,” Andrew told her with a dejected smile. “Of course you don’t have to.”

“I would love to,” Nina replied gleefully. “I need to keep him updated on how things are going with Stina. He’s really good at giving advice.”

Andrew’s face lit up at her response. “He is good at giving advice,” he agreed, and glanced over at Stina who was sitting by her desk typing at her keyboard. “So you and Stina, huh?” he commented and smiled warmly at her. “As long as you keep it professional.”

“Of course we will,” Nina replied.

“No sex in the toilets,” Andrew whispered to her, causing her to blush deeply. He smirked at her before walking off to his office. As soon as he was out of sight, Nina got up from her seat and walked over to where Stina was sitting.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked, causing Stina to look up at her with a bright smile that reached her green eyes. She nodded wordlessly. “Would you like to go out on a date with me this Saturday?”

“I thought you would never ask,” Stina replied happily. “Yes, I do.”

“Great. I’ll give you the details once I’ve figured them out,” Nina told her with a smile before walking back to her desk. She couldn’t stop smiling to herself as she kept working. Now she felt like she had something important to look forward to. Perhaps her gloomy mood last week was merely a setback? Perhaps things would only get better from now on?

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#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston stepfather #tom hiddleston father #henry cavill #benedict cumberbatch #andrew scott

[morethanaprincess-a]

@cadcnce​ said:  💍 - what can you say about your significant other, if you have one?

Munday! Send me some stuff so I can chat OOC and make friends! Please be my friend...

So there’s plenty of things I can say about fiancé. Not all of them I necessarily should say, because my main way to flirt with fiancé is by roasting him. I’m very good at it. We love each other of course, but teasing is how we show we care. With that in mind, here’s several facts about fiancé:

1. We both attended school in the same city and later, the same foreign country, for a little while. I attended university in Chicago and he’s originally from Chicago (and did his undergrad there). We even attended the same anime convention, Anime Central, for several years and never ran into one another. To make this further complicated and/or interesting, we both studied abroad in the U.K. at the same time as well, with me in London and him in Southampton working on his masters. He stayed abroad much longer than I did though, to do his post-doc in Germany to get his PhD. 

2. He’s an inch shorter than I am, but he doesn’t mind that I wear heels quite often.

3. He’s a gamer in nearly every sense of the word besides text-based RP. I’ve showed him some sample posts on this blog and he just shakes his head all “Yeah, I can’t do what you do.” In the same vein, he plays D&D several times a week, computer games, video games, board games, you name it, and most of it just isn’t for me (I tend to get bored and prefer writing, reading, or watching TV/movies to games). He doesn’t tease me for the only games I do play, though: visual novels and otome. He’s trying to show me Final Fantasy VII so I can finally learn what the hype is all about (I only know the characters due to cosplay), and I’m just “ehh...can we skip past the fight scenes for actual story?” We did play Zero Time Dilemma together to round out the Zero Escape trilogy, though. That was fun.

4. His other love is pro wrestling. I like a few wrestling things myself but his wrestling knowledge is far more vast.

5. He knows far too much about fashion and luxury accessories than most men I know (because he has to listen to me all the time). He tells me to turn away when he sees my least favorite designer bags in public and can recognize my favorites at a distance now. He loves when I buy him clothes and accessories, with most of his suits now custom-made to fit him perfectly. Very sharp dresser, this one.

6. You know that scene in Scott Pilgrim where Ramona lists all of her teas? With my collection combined with fiancé’s, we put hers to absolute shame.

7. Speaking of tea, he’s about as obsessed with the U.K. as I am. We watch a lot of British TV together, and I can appreciate anyone who enjoys both Downton Abbey and The Inbetweeners (why yes, we “THUMBS UP FRIEND” each other all the time). We also love things like pub curry, good Indian food, Nando’s, Greggs, and afternoon tea at the likes of Claridge’s and Fortnum and Mason.

8. He cosplays with me on occasion. That occasion being when he doesn’t have to wear a wig, makeup, or anything warm and heavy. This tends to be funny because he’ll then get annoyed I’m getting more attention and photos in my layers of fabric and wig and elaborate makeup. His dream cosplay for the two of us are Dracula and Lisa from Castlevania, which will have to be for a cold weather con.

9. He’s an excellent cook...for anything that isn’t remotely healthy. His parents are Italian and have made their living cooking and catering for parties. His best dish is spaghetti carbonara, which tastes like something you’d get in a restaurant. Which makes sense, because a family friend taught him most of the recipe he uses in his Chicago restaurant.

10. And finally, while I don’t know his favorite character (I’ve never thought to ask, tbh) of anything, his favorite Danganronpa character is Nekomaru Nidai. To that end, it’s no surprise his least favorite character is Gundham Tanaka and he loathes my love for Gundham/Sonia. This is fitting when he’s cosplaying Kazuichi. 

I’m going to show him this post later and see how much he gets annoyed by my roasting! 

#more-than-a-princess answered #more-than-a-princess musings #(Mun stuff meme) #cadcnce #(I never talk about fiancé on the blog so here's a giant post instead)