#to every single person who hates gon or calls him crazy

[iooiu]

every time you apologize you mean it less, but i don’t think your tears are lying this time

#listen LISTEN #to every single person who hates gon or calls him crazy #I HOPE YOUR DOING OKAY i would never wish any harm to you but please #this boy just needs a hug #i thought of this at 2 am no im not lying i drew it all in one day #as per my self indulgence #please show up in the tags i WILL cry #killua's trauma and gon's trauma playing rock paper scissors #its their reunion dont look at me #come slap me for my interpretation of this whole ordeal i'll stay still dont worry #gon freecss #killua zaoldyek #hxh #hunter x hunter #hunter x 2011 #killugon #kk im done #am i promoting my own damn fic? yes. yes i am #writes and dites?

[thehomothings]

Analysis of Kite's conflicting moralities, relationship with death, and the toll reincarnation may take on one's psyche

So, today I decided to compile all the thoughts I have had about Kite's interesting worldview since the first time I saw him into one post, mostly for my own sake, really. If you're familiar with the few posts I've made, you know it's gonna be a mess, but hopefully a comprehensible mess.

A heads up, this is going to be spoiler-heavy, and very much deal with subjects of death and dying as a whole. Also, some of these conclusions are drawn from my own experiences and close brushes with death, I'm not going to go into much detail but it might get personal and definitely dark. I'm not even sure if I can call this a meta-analysis, and I'm obviously no expert, so mayhaps take all of this with a grain of salt.

Been getting into drawing lately, and during the more simple and mindless part of the painstaking process of dotting every single star in this, I let my thoughts wander through the latest part of the fic I'm writing, and I got a better grasp on what exactly made Kite such an elusive character to me.

I'm not quite sure why I got so attached to Kite. Perhaps it was the air of tragedy surrounding him, how despite his sordid past he remained still open and gentle even if outlined by a healthy dose of cynicism.

But sometimes, I think it's the fact that he is so paradoxical. He's brave, yet fears death to such a degree that creates a whole Nen ability around it, is a pacifist yet will not hesitate to spill blood for his own sake or someone else's. Despite the many ultimatums and warnings of 'I will not protect you', he gave his arm and then his life to save Gon and Killua. He approaches each hunt and battle with a clear plan of action in mind, but his Hatsu takes the form of a roulette that gives him random weapons which are never what he wants, but what he seems to need for that exact situation, which he cannot dispel without using. When he draws a weapon, the decision is locked in and his or his opponent's fate is sealed. That's why each time he dubbs his weapon a bad roll. Every time he has to gamble, he sees himself as having run out of luck. When it comes to having to choose between himself and somebody else...well, there had never been a choice. In fact his aversion to using it may feed into its sheer power that we, unfortunately, saw too little of.

Let's go over his very first appearance when he saves Gon from the mother Foxbear.

It's not hard to see the strain searching for Ging has put on him; he's rash, prone to anger and punching a child for daring to get into trouble. In his mind, he's failing at his most important task, has not yet earned the right to call himself a hunter despite being in possession of his very own hunter license.

After killing the mother Foxbear and raging about having done so, he says this interesting line:

So yes, he finds killing for any reason rather irksome as most would do, yet I think something deeper caused him to absolutely lose it in this scene:

He had not been aware of Gon's identity, and despite being an animal lover and a naturalist, he made a choice to save the human instead of allowing nature to run its course. In fact, he says: 'No beast that harms a human must be allowed to live.'

How does one weight one life against another? How is the worth of it determined? The value of life... an impossible choice he's faced with and a choice which he seems to regret to some degree.

The Foxbear cub.

Here, he's speaking from experience, a tangible loss he has felt himself, and a hard and bitter life he does not want to impose on the cub.

His backstory is exclusive to the 2011 anime adaptation but there are hints alluding to it in the manga, for example, the fact that he does not seem to know his birthplace, or:

The choice of words is chilling.

Reading between the lines, one could draw the conclusion that he is an orphan. Something supporting this hypothesis is how he visibly deflates after Gon tells him his parents have (presumably) died.

So we see he is willing to go against his own moral code of not killing as to not doom another living being to the life he led, a lonely, hopeless existence that could barely be called one. He saw it best to put down the cub rather than leave it to die a painful, slow death.

The reason Kite himself isn't as cynical and cold-hearted as one would be after witnessing cruelty in its rawest form is those small crumbs of human kindness which he may have found in Ging.

It was not only a chance at an honorable life being Ging's apprentice gave him, but it also 'saved' him from being broken and twisted into what he hated and worst of all, death.

If we take that one minute of backstory as canon to his character-which I find myself inclined to do- these quirks of his make much more sense. He lived on the run. He lived on the knife's edge between giving up or pushing forwards. He lived as so a wrong move could be the difference between survival and the end.

Between rock and a hard place creates a mentality of black and white, absolute good or extreme evil, this or that. Except in reality, it's much harder than that. Deciding who to save and who to strike down is a heavy burden to bear.

It's almost easy to see how struggling to keep surviving could lend itself to a crippling fear of death and subsequently developing a Nen ability which once more goes against his own moral code in order to give himself a second chance...yet something about it strikes me as unlikely when I look at it this way.

Living life knowing it could end at any moment has the opposite effect, at least for me it did. One comes to accept that it is fleeting and while not eager to let it go, when death eventually and inevitably does come, there is no fighting it.

Especially when there is no hope that tomorrow will be a better day than this one.

Frequent near-death experiences numb one's fear in a way, even if it drives them to take precautions that render it unlikely to happen again and results in c-PTSD, but still, it does. It sparks a certain nihilistic view of 'if it all can end so easily, then what's the point of it all?'

Unless there are things to live for, a sure promise of a better future, and Ging gave Kite that. When he faced the threat of losing his second chance at life:

Really, what else could lead someone to develop the ability of 'the hell I'm going to die like this'?

I think a separate event, an even more brutal near-death experience that almost cost him his life as the hunter he so strived to be set him off to develop the secret roll of Crazy Slots, what I call Roll No.0, Ars moriendi. Unlike other weapons, it cannot come up in random and is directly summoned by him, or better said, summon by his overwhelming will to keep going and hopelessness of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe roll No.3 was the weapon that allowed him to reincarnate. I've named that one Wand of Fortune, a sort of armor instead of an offensive weapon since I find it hard to believe Kite, a Conjurer, would not focus on defences as well, and I will go into both mechanisms of these weapons hopefully in his backstory.

Despite knowing this battle to be a pointless one and being acutely aware of his soon to be demise, he did not immediately draw Ars moriendi, no, he stayed back and fought for the sake of the boys, kept Neferpitou occupied until they could reach safety. We can see evidence of this in the aftermath of the battle that seemed to have gone on until dawn, a torn apart landscape only signaling a fraction of the devastation that was Kite's power unleashed. It still wasn't enough.

In the anime sub I watched, when Gon apologizes to Ging about Kite's death, Ging said a sentence that infuriated me, because it belittled the utter suffering of the NGL trio.

"He would not die in your place." (No screenshot, sorry)

And I remember practically shouting at the screen, screaming 'how could you possibly say that? Of course he did. He absolutely did die in their place. How could you not know your own apprentice? Why-'

It was only last night that it hit me why Ging would say that.

Once upon a time, maybe Kite would not have given his life for anybody under any circumstances, even if he had a way out of it all. He would still need to die to come back to life.

His Thanatophobia could be attributed to the (possibly untreated) PTSD of the near-death experience in his later life, being so certain of dying that finding himself alive afterwards drove him to never want to go through that again. He quieted his fear by creating a sort of a loophole, that even if he lost the battle he would remain. Ging remembered that, but as evidence shows, something changed. Maybe he healed a bit, perhaps growing up dulled his fear to a certain degree, but eventually when it came down to his life or another's, he didn't choose himself.

Now, I can hear you saying 'but he didn't die, so what are you going on about??' And so I reply: Yes, he is alive, but he did die. He experienced that painful, horrible moment of staring death in the eyes and thinking 'This is it, this is the end', went through the actual process of having his soul removed from his body. And that moment stretches into infinity, ten lifetimes condensed into the mere seconds before oblivion.

Dying isn't so hard if one stays dead.

It's not so easy to open one's eyes and find oneself alive again after that, no matter how much that is the heart's desire. It's difficult, nigh-impossible to reconcile with life and walk amongst the living when everything had been so final, when death had been accepted to its fullest.

So Kite awakens, the twin of Meruem and back from the dead, his mind and identity both intact and fractured. In that he is Kite is no mistaking, yet he is not the same gentle pacifist whose first reaction upon sensing a monster's aura was to shield two kids from it at the cost of his arm.

I don't think many of you are familiar with Zoroastrian ideology, but Togashi is known for loving his religious imagery, and it's not only Christianism he derives inspiration from (evidence of which can be seen all over Kite's character and resurrection).

In Zurvanism-a branch of Zoroastrianism- there is talk of the twin spirits: Ahura Mazda -epitome of all that is good- and Ahriman -epitome of all that is evil-, the parent god Zurvin decides that the firstborn may rule in order to bring "heaven, hell, and everything in between."

Upon becoming aware of this fact, Ahriman forcibly tears through the womb to emerge first. Sounding familiar yet?

Zurvan relents to this turn of events only on one condition: Ahriman is given kingship for 9000 years, and then Ahura Mazda may rule for eternity.

Meruem ruled for 40 days, his death leaving the throne vacant for ant Kite, wearing a dead girl's face and seeming to be brewing some nefarious plan. No more is there any sign of that unrelenting pacifism and the sanctity of life he held so high, losing his own may have only served to show him how meaningless the pain and suffering he went through had been, dying only to be reborn as a member of the species that killed him. It may be that he has no desire to rule over the remaining Chimera ants or create an army of his own-

Yet I dread to think what a broken mind possessing limitless power might do to the world.

And that's it. If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you found it interesting, stay tuned, as I think a lot and I will make it your problem.

#Cw: talks of death and PTSD #When I say I unknowingly projected onto him #I can't tell if writing this was cathartic or torturous #and I gave myself heart palpitations so this is enough for today #And yes I refer to ant Kite by he/him pronouns because misgendering him on the account of his body being afab is just ignorant #even if I think skrunkly's genderqueer af and actually wouldn't mind she/her #still i wanna push the trans ant kite agenda #So yes this is how I unknowingly picked up Kite as a coping mechanism even if out attitudes towards death are practically opposites #don't mind your grandpa trauma dumping #What I'm saying is get ant Kite therapy before he sinks the world #I love reimagining Kite as a villain and I don't know why #Kite hxh #hxh kite #kite hunter x hunter #kaito hxh #hxh #hunter x hunter #meta analysis #theories #fic rambles #Icarus waffles #Kitkat #gon freccs #Ging freecss

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine TWO

Crazy Erik making sure Y/N don’t leave him AT ALLLLLLLL 😩😩 he ain’t playing:

Warning: CRAZY. Angsty. Blood. Smut.

Y/N watched her boyfriend sleep peacefully at 3:00 AM. His arm was draped across her waist while his face was smashed against her exposed thigh. Every time he breathed in his grip around her would get tighter. It was as if he was awake. She was afraid to stir or even cough. She looked around her, eyes dropping shut a little. All she wanted to do was sleep but she was afraid to sleep next to him. If she did, she might wake up chained to the bed, becoming his prisoner. Handcuffs and bondage didn’t sound fun anymore. As much as she didn’t want to think about it, she couldn’t stop wondering about what Erik did to her ex. He was still missing. Did he kill him or did he pay him to go away? Y/N hoped he at least paid him. Y/N heaved a sigh before looking down at Erik again, startled and petrified by his wild eyes staring at her unblinking.

Y/N brought the sheets to her naked chest, closing her eyes, “Erik, I didn’t know you were awake-“

“Why aren’t you sleeping? And what’s on your mind?” He cut her off with a stern voice. You’ve been up like this for a few hours. I know you’re tired, baby, I know you want some rest. Just come to bed with me, please?”

“I just...I can’t sleep, okay?” Y/N spoke with fear.

“Is it me?” Erik full sits up now, naked body exposed to her. Gracious, why did he have to be so damn fine?

“Am I scaring you away? I only act like this because I’m afraid you’re gonna leave me. You can’t leave me, Y/N. Ever.”

“Who are you to tell me that?! I am my own person no man will ever control me!” Y/N threw the sheets back, standing up in her nudity, “You don’t have control over me, Erik. You never will. This...we really need some time apart-“

“HA,” Erik laughed hard. So hard his eyes were watering. Y/N glared at him, her hand itching to grab the lamp on her dresser to toss at his head.

“What’s so damn funny?! I meant every word-“

“AND I MEANT EVERY WORD.”

Y/N’s mouth snapped shut real quick.

“You ain’t going nowhere,” Erik’s voice became deep and scornful, “You here me? You are mine. I’m getting sick and fucking tired of reminding you about that.”

“Are you gonna kill me?” Y/N asked with a shaky tone, “If I leave you will you kill me?”

Erik got up from the bed, walking towards her in his naked glory. Y/N wraps her arms around her body, back pressing further into the wall behind her. When he came to her, Y/N turned her face away, eyes squeezed shut out of fear. Erik grabs her jaw tightly, making her look up at him. He just stared at her, Y/N terrified of what his next move would be. Relieved, Erik places a kiss on her lips, soft and reassuring.

“I won’t kill you. I could never kill you.” Erik spoke softly.

“But you would kill others because of me?” Y/N spoke timidly.

“Just come to bed, baby,” Erik grabs Y/N’s naked body, “let me show you how much I love you. Let me show you that you belong to me and only me.”

“Erik,” Y/N hates the way he makes her body feel. Crazy or not he felt good. If she kept this up she would be crazy too.

“I’m too tired,” she didn’t look him in the eyes when she said that, I just need some rest, SHIT-“

Erik’s fingers were between her legs and inside of her pussy. It was so sudden and without warning but his strokes made her body shiver.

“How could you leave me when I make your body do this,” Erik’s thumb came up to stroke her clit, “Hmm? Why leave me when I’m exactly what you need?”

“Stop,” Y/N spoke with a whisper.

“I ain’t stopping. You gon’ moan my name and you gon’ tell me that you need me just as much as I need you. I’ve never wanted a women so bad in my fucking life. If you leave me and never come back,” Erik sucked on Y/N’s throat, “I will hunt you down.”

——————-

Erik practically squeezed Y/N in his arms while she straddled his lap. He was so insatiable for her. Bite marks on her skin, scatches on her hips, his dick torturing her pussy deeply, her pussy disobeying her by being so wet and slippery for him. Sucking him in and not wanting him to go. Deep grunts and animalistic growls in her ear. She felt fear but at the same time she felt pleasure. Her friends and family would call her crazy; family and friends she haven’t seen.

“You feel so good on my dick,” Erik bites her neck, “No other women feels this good to me.”

“Mm,” Y/N felt tears stain her cheeks.

“Mm? Is that all you can say? I know you can make more noise than that,” He wraps his hand around her neck, “Moan my name. Now.”

“I-“ She could hardly speak with his hand around her throat.

“Say it,” Erik spoke with a rough tone.

“Erik,” she moaned.

“Good girl,” Erik flips her onto her back, his large body trapping her beneath him while he strokes into her some more, “I’ve had my eyes set on you for so long. I’d be damned if I let you go.”

Her hands came up on each side of her head to grab the sheets while Erik pistoned his hips against hers, drilling his dick in and out. Y/N’s breasts bounced erratically. He was fucking her like her little body could take it. She couldn’t take it. Erik never fucked her this hard. Y/N’s eyes squeezed shut and her back arched from the bed. Wrapped around his dick was her pussies spasmodic walls. Now, he held her thighs back while fucking her roughly. All she could do was lay there and take it.

“You see how I handle this fucking body?!! You can’t leave me when I do it like this. I love you, I fucking love you, bitch.”

That was the first time he every called her a bitch.

“I SAID I love you,” Erik grabs her throat again, bringing her face closer to his, “What the fuck are you supposed to say?!”

“I LOVE YOU TOO!” Y/N shouts.

“Tell me you will never leave me. Say, I’ll never leave you, Daddy.”

“I’ll never leave Daddy,” Y/N gasps for air. Erik brought his mouth to her ear, “Say, I’m all yours, Daddy like you know you are. Say this body belongs to you, Daddy.”

“I’m-I’m all yours, Daddy. This body belongs to you-“

“You drive me crazy,” Erik looked down at his dick, “On God you drive me insane. I want you...I need you...LOOK AT ME.”

Y/N felt him remove his hand from her neck to grab her jaw. He squeezed her cheeks, causing her lips to poke out.

“In case you ever foolishly forget,” Erik drew his dick out to the tip before slamming back inside of her, “You will never leave me. You don’t cross my mind you live in it.”

Y/N whimpered with her release. Erik presses his lips into hers so she could moan in his mouth. His stroke became sloppy and then his cum filled her pussy to the hilt. He kept himself there intentionally, pressing in deeper so the tip of his dick could reach her cervix. The more he stroked, the more flowed. Erik looked down at her with dark eyes. Eyes that scared her.

“Just know, I’m sleeping with my dick in you.”

Y/N felt her lower lip tremble.

“You will have my baby. I’m making sure that happens. If I have to cum inside of you all night, I will. You will have my child, Y/N. Believe me when I say it.”

She was on birth control but the way he talked he would probably throw those away tomorrow.

———————-

At work the next day, Y/N wore a designer scarf around her neck to hide Erik’s love bites. Y/N wore flats to work because like Erik said he would, they fucked all night. When she woke up that morning. His cum was dripping out of her pussy and on the sheets. So much cum. Erik woke up as soon as she did, pulling her legs apart with so much strength and force that she could feel her thighs shake every time she opened them or walked. He entered her pussy again. Cumming inside of her again. And just like Y/N suspected, her birth control was gone. She saw it burned in the kitchen trash. One thing she noticed this morning while on social media was her block list. She had less friends and an entire block list filled with men. Erik must have sneaked in her phone to do this.

Erik: Let me take you to lunch, my treat.

Erik: are you busy, baby?

Erik: it’s your lunch hour. Why aren’t you answering?

Erik: Y/N who has you so occupied? Your job can’t be that busy.

Erik: You know you’re in trouble when you get home, right?

He was still at her place. Y/N ignored that message too, eating a turkey sandwich and drinking a bottle of water. Her phone vibrates again, Y/N picking it up to read.

Erik: what did I tell you about ignoring my texts? It’s cool, don’t even think about sucking up to me. It’s too late for that.

Once again she ignored him.

“Hey, Y/N,” Y/N’s work friend, Dana, greeted her at her lunch table, “I wanted to ask you something to see if you are interested.”

“Sure,” Y/N motioned for the empty seat across from her, “Sit, lets talk babe.”

Dana sat down, flipping her blonde braids from her shoulder.

“Okay, so, a few ladies and myself are going out tonight for drinks and a good time, so, I would like for you to come because every time I ask...you always say no. It’s gonna be at a lounge. Drinking, dancing, enjoying the single life-“

“I’m in a relationship remember?” Y/N spoke with a small smile, “and he might not want me-“

“What? Is he your damn father?!” Dana jokes.

He’s my Daddy and my psycho boyfriend

“No, but we may have plans, I’ll let you know okay?”

“Don’t wait until 10 PM to finally say that you want to go, girl.”

“I promise, I won’t.” Y/N’s phone was going off.

“I’ll leave you alone. See you back at the office,” Dana gets up from the table, walking away and out of the break room.

“Jesus Christ, Erik,” Y/N answered her phone, “YES, ERIK?!” She spoke with a frustrated tone of voice.

“Who are you talking to? You better watch your fucking mouth before I use that shit, MA,” Erik argued, “Answer your goddamn text messages when I hit you up. You talking to some nigga? Somebody else more important than me? I thought we had it together?”

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose, “Why are you acting like a child? I am at work. I told you that when I am at work, I can’t talk or text on my phone. I’m on break right now so that’s why I’m talking to you-“

“You’re on break? With who?”

It sounded like he was in his car.

“Erik, where are you?” Y/N asks.

“...who are you on break with?” He avoided her question.

Y/N rolls her eyes, literally throwing her food away because her appetite was ruined, “Erik...are you at my job?”

“You were supposed to go to lunch with me, remember? We always did that together. I don’t like this, Y/N,” He sounded so hurt and it confused Y/N, “I don’t like this at all. I feel like you do this to make me upset. I feel like you enjoy coming to work to get away from me-“

“That’s not true!” Y/N looked around her, making sure she was alone, “I come to work because it’s my career and I enjoy it, Erik. Just like you enjoy writing poetry. Same thing.”

Erik was silent. Y/N could hear sirens and car horns honking in the busy city. She closes her eyes, waiting for his response and hoping it wasn’t some wild out of control thing.

“Okay,” Erik sighs, “What are we doing tonight? I’m thinking we should go out for dinner and then back to that poetry reading. Just like where I met you. I could perform a piece of my work. You could come and support me. How’s that sound?”

Y/N licks her lips, “Babe, I was...I was invited out with some work friends tonight. I’m gonna go with them.”

“Excuse me?” Erik’s tone of voice was flat and disrespectful. Y/N looked at her phone with a mug.

“Out. With my friends. Tonight.” She repeats herself, “That’s it. I have plans-“

“NO-“

“ERIK. I am hanging up.”

“Wrong move, ma.” Erik spoke dangerously.

She didn’t hang up.

“Call it off. Or I will break your phone in half. No more calls, no more social media, no NOTHING. Who are you supposed to be focusing on?”

“You are ridiculous!” Y/N hung up the phone. She didn’t care. He was being difficult and psycho. Smothering her, controlling her. It was a nightmare. She was a grown women not a teenager. Y/N felt stupid that she had to rebel from him. She shouldn’t feel stupid she should feel free. She got up from the break table, making her way back to her desk. She tried not to think of Erik or the fact that he was blowing up her phone currently. He said he would never kill her but she wasn’t so sure about that now.

———————-

Surprisingly, when Y/N came home, Erik wasn’t there. Y/N clutched her chest with relief before dropping her purse on the end table next to her front door along with her keys. To be sure, Y/N checked her balcony, closets, shower, under her bed, and even behind her couch. No sign of him. She drove home taking another route to avoid him just in case he was watching her. It was 6:24 PM so Y/N decided to get herself together for the evening. She undressed, grabbing her towel and soap sponge, making her way towards the bathroom. The entire bathroom steamed from the hot water. Y/N stepped her naked body inside, changing the water temperature and putting her curly hair under the shower water so she could wear it up in a curly bun. She could feel his bite marks and scratches on her skin. Y/N shuddered each time she dragged the sponge over it. Y/N was washing the back of her neck when the curtain to the shower flings open and a large hand wraps around her wet tresses. She screams, her body being dragged out of the shower. Her feet gave out beneath her and now she was on the floor, on her knees, wet eyes blurred. The hand left her hair, Y/N looking around to see Erik. The front of his shirt was soaked from the shower, dreads wild on his forehead and eyes black and menacing.

“Erik, what the fuck?!” Y/N stood up, “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT-“

“You disrespected me too many times, Y/N. I see you took a different route from work today. Had me waiting out there like a fucking idiot. Took me about an hour to get home because of all that traffic. Why do you keep pushing my buttons, ma?”

“Because I can. You don’t own me-“

“I DO. My dick been in you, my tongue been in you, my NUT will impregnate you, so, you are mine. Y/N, please, I am trying to be calm and patient but you are difficult.” Erik placed his hands on his hips, shaking his head like a stern parent, “Do I have to hand cuff you to the bed? I think I do-“

“NO! Pleassseeeee,” Y/N begs, “I’m SO SORRY! I promise,” She chokes on her words, “I won’t disrespect you again, Daddy, I promise I’ll be a good girl just don’t handcuff me to the bed!”

“I love it when you beg me.”

Y/N swallows spit.

“I sacrificed a lot to have you. I worked hard for a long time to make you notice me. Don’t disappoint me. I finally found the perfect girl in you, Y/N. All the others were nothing. Just trial runs. YOU,” Erik grabs her chin with force, “You complete me. The only one that truly completes me.”

“Others?” Y/N looked away from him.

“Yes,” Erik spoke with a shake of his head and a deep sigh, “They don’t matter. It’s me and you now,” Erik picked Y/N up, making her straddle his waist, “They couldn’t handle me like you do. You know how to take all of Daddy, isn’t that right, Princess?”

“Mhm,” Y/N gave Erik a forced smile. Her heart was pounding.

“Come take more of me. I thought about it and...even though you hung up on me, and I wanted to choke you out, I changed me mind. I thought about how much I care about you and love you. That’s what helped me. That’s why I rather fuck you instead of punish you. Do you understand?”

“Y-yes,” Y/N grabs his face, “I understand why you do the things you do. It’s because you love me so deeply.”

“YES” Erik spoke with a rumble, “YES. My love for you is deeper than my soul. YOU. Are. My. Everything.”

His eyes were frantic. Y/N kisses him, running a hand through his dreads. Erik rubbed his scruffy cheek against her cheek like a tamed animal.

“Daddy,” Y/N spoke with a honeyed tone in his ear, “Daddy, can I please go out tonight? Please? It’s just with work friends I promise I’ll be good. You can even come pick me up.”

Erik grabs her hair, pulling her back so he could look at her. His eyes squinted a little, head slightly tilted up at her, “Where are you going?”

“It’s a karaoke lounge,” Y/N plays with Erik’s gold chain to avoid his hard eyes, “just us girls, singing karaoke, having drinks, fun times.”

“Having fun without me though?” Erik shook his head, “I don’t see how that’s possible when I’m not there.”

“Erik, it’s just a girls night out-“

“Nah, I don’t wanna hear that shit.”

Y/N kisses her teeth, walking away from Erik and into her room. She was so pissed that she forgot to turn off the shower. Erik did too. He didn’t care about the water when his girl was currently pulling out an outfit from her closet to go out without him. Who could be more fun than him? And what’s out there besides some niggas trying to have a piece of her. Y/N is a beautiful woman. If Erik saw that, other niggas definitely did too. There was no denying that. The smell of her hair; that blueberry bliss she always wore in her hair, her pretty chestnut eyes, smooth mocha skin, banging body, all the things that Erik loved some other man would want.

“Let me tell you something. All that girls night out shit? That shit is a DUB. Everytime you went out with your friends you always smiling in your pictures, posting videos having wild fun,” Erik walked over towards Y/N at her closet, grabbing her arm to make her look at him. Her pretty face was creased with rage.

“Now how is that possible when I’m not even there? HUH?” He pressed his face closer to hers, “Who is he?”

“Erik you are mad crazy!!!!” Y/N tried pulling her arm from his grip but there was no use, “It’s just my friends and myself what is wrong with you?!!!! God, I just want to go out for once and I can’t even do that-“

“Who is he? Do I have to kill somebody?” Erik gave her a sinister smirk, “Do I gotta pull up and blow a nigga brains out? Is that what I gotta do? Stop tryna put me in jail, ma. I will merk a nigga REAL FUCKING TALK. Don’t play with me,” Erik pointed a warning finger at her, “DONT ducking play with me, girl.”

Erik let her go, walking away to calm himself.

“Baby, It’s not even like that,” Y/N spoke with difficulty, “Please? You can drive me there and pick me up. I’ll even answer your texts and calls. I promise it’s just me and my girls. I promise, baby.”

Erik’s head fell forward with defeat. He turned towards Y/N, eyes shining with tears. Y/N was confused and perplexed by his emotions towards this. He was truly a broken soul. She didn’t understand what could have caused this.

“You promise?” He spoke sincerely, “You’ll come back to me? This isn’t your way of leaving me?”

“No. No.” Y/N carefully walks up to Erik, “It’s just me having a fun night. When I’m done, you can have me all to yourself, however you want me.”

“We’ll see.” That’s all he says before placing a kiss on her forehead, “You can go out. I’ll drive you and pick you up.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” Y/N kissed him, making sure to suck on his bottom lip like he loves.

“You’re welcome.” He spoke with emptiness.

—————————

“Y/N!!!”

Dana, and a few other coworkers were happy to see her. Y/N came dressed in a black faux leather halter catsuit that has a low-cut back with a pair of vans on her feet. Her hair was pulled up into a wet curly bun and she wore only a matte red lip with a cat eye.

“Hey ladies,” Y/N smiles brightly, “Thank God I can get out of the house for once.”

“We thought you were on lock down,” Dana jokes, “Who is this boyfriend anyway? You never talk about him.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Y/N didn’t want to think about Erik while she was out with her friends, “Let’s just have a good time. What are you ladies drinking on?”

“Mixed Hennessy drinks,” Another coworker of hers, Tracey, spoke, “I can order you one.”

“Make it two,” Y/N needed more than that.

———————-

Two hours in and Erik couldn’t stand sitting in the apartment alone. Staring at the walls. A small voice in his head kept telling him to check his phone, see what she’s doing. He cracked his knuckles, clenching his jaw to fight the urge but the more he fought, the more he wanted to lurk on her social media. He knew who her work friends were, he knew their instagrams. If she didn’t post, they sure did. He also had his phone linked with hers. Nothing that made him feel suspicious of her whereabouts came through on his phone.

Just take a quick look. She’s having too much fun without you.

“But she answered my text. She said she loved me.”

Call her again, Killmonger spoke

Erik picks up his phone, deciding to FaceTime call her. It rang and rang, Y/N’s promise down the drain. She said she would answer him. She didn’t. Now he was ferocious.

See? She’s such a liar, Erik. She said she would answer your texts and calls. What are you going to do about that?

Erik gave her the benefit of the doubt, ignoring his inner thoughts and turmoil. She could be singing on stage at the moment. Y/N did say it was a karaoke lounge. If she’s singing she wouldn’t be able to call him.

Still check her social media though. You never know, nigga.

Erik checks Y/N’s Instagram. She didn’t update in a few days and she didn’t have anything on her story. Erik breathes a sigh of relief.

Don’t relax too much. Check her coworkers page. What’s that bitches name? Dana? Yeah, check her out. Didn’t she sleep with Y/N’s ex?

Erik types in Dana’s name: DanaRoss_90.

There, she posted a group picture that included Y/N. His smiling girl with a drink in her hand. She looked so happy. Tipsy even. Erik screen shots the picture to crop later. Dana posted to her story. Erik clicks on it, clicking through a few times before landing on a video of Y/N on stage singing TLC- No Scrubs

A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly

He's also known as a busta (Busta, busta)

Always talkin' about what he wants

And just sits on his broke ass

So no, I don't want your number (Uh, uh)

No, I don't want to give you mine and

No, I don't want to meet you nowhere (No, no)

No, I don't want none of your time and (Uh)

She was pointing to the crowd, swinging her hips while Dana yelled and cheered. She stumbled over a few words because she was so damn drunk. Erik felt his blood running hot in his veins.

“Why are you so damn sloppy drunk right now?” Erik angrily talked like he was speaking to her, “Any nigga could see that as an opportunity, ma.”

Go to her

Erik watched the video again before clicking over to the next story. Y/N wasn’t in this one, it was Dana’s face while she profiles. Erik clicked through a few more times to find Dana taking a video of the live crowd. The place was packed. As she panned her phone, Erik caught a glimpse of some dude talking closely with Y/N at the bar. He was leaning in closely to talk to her Y/N smiling and laughing. Erik shot up from the couch. He replayed that video over and over. Erik clicks through and there was only a picture with her and Dana, a blurry one. The story ended. Erik clenches his fists, nostrils flared and his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. He almost broke his phone with how angry he was.

“Does she think I’m stupid?!” Erik spoke, walking back and forth, “Does she think I’m playing? She doesn’t understand...” Erik grabs his keys, walking out of that house in a frenzy. He almost bumped into Y/N’s neighbor. Out of the apartment building, Erik ran to his car. He opened the trunk, pulling out a duffle bag that he hadn’t used since kidnapping Y/N’s ex. He hopped inside, starting up his car without putting on his seatbelt. He did 80 down that rode. Fuck 12, fuck whoever was in his way, he needed to get to Y/N and fast. Erik called her again, the phone ringing and ringing. It went straight to voice mail.

“OKAY. OKAY. You must think I’m playing. WHO IS TNAT MOTHERFUCKER!”

Erik calls her again. It goes straight to voicemail.

“IM ON MY WAY. YOU BETTER PRAY FOR THAT NIGGA.”

Erik calls again. It goes straight to voicemail.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! IM SO UPSET WITH YOU RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE NEVER GOING OUT AGAIN, EVER. DO YOU HERE ME!!!!”

Erik hangs up, punching his stirring wheel and shouting like a mad man.

“FUCK!!!!!!!” His shouts almost broke the glass.

“Did you fuck him?” He spoke to himself, “Do you know him? Is he touching my body? The body that belongs to me?”

Yes

Erik knew what he had to do to make you understand.

—————————

“Dammit,” Y/N checks her phone.

10 missed calls. 12 unread messages.

“Fuck.” She panicked.

“Are you okay?” Terry, a sweet guy that she met at the lounge looked at her with worry.

“Uhm, I have to go.”

“Now? Do you want me to take you home?” Terry spoke while stroking Y/N’s back, “You’re really drunk right now from all those Hennessy mixes you had. Six I believe?”

“I,” Y/N stumbles, “I gotta go.”

“I can walk you out and wait with you until your uber comes.”

“I have to call-my-my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Terry said with a raised brow.

“Mhm,” Y/N felt her head spinning.

“Why isn’t he here with you. You’re so damn fine. I wouldn’t have left you here with just your girls.”

“Terry, I appreciate the compliment but I have a man-“

“It’s cool. I just wanted you to know that.”

“My girls can help me out,” Y/N looked up at Terry with low eyes, “Dana? Tracey? Brooke?”

Terry looked around him, “don’t see them,” Terry grabs Y/N’s clutch, wrapping an arm around her waist, “Let’s go through the back way, that’s where the Ubers pull up. Out front is too busy.”

Y/N hesitated but then she finally gave in, “I’ll call my boyfriend and if he doesn’t answer I’ll take an Uber.”

Terry grabs a bottle of water from the bartender, walking Y/N towards the back of the lounge. They squeezed past a few people smoking weed before descending the stairs. Y/N was dragging her feet but Terry had her with his strong arms. He was tall, smooth tan skin with waves in his hair and a charming smile. His eyes were a pure hazel and he smelled like cedar.

“Oh my God,” Y/N’s stomach turned, “I’m gonna be sick-“

“Here,” Terry brought her around the lounge, in front of an Alley way across from a vacant parking lot, “You Gotta vomit?”

“Mhm,” Y/N hunched over, “I shouldn’t have drank so much.

She could feel the vomit leave her mouth. It came out in chunks. Her throat burned. Terry soothes her by stroking her back. Y/N waited a moment to see if she needed to do more but her stomach settled. She lifts, accepting the bottle of water from Terry. Y/N swishes it around her mouth spitting out the water then drank some. She hated the taste in her mouth.

Footsteps could be heard approaching them. Y/N’s blurry eyes looked up to see a guy with a tribal mask on his face stepping towards them with a bop in his hips and fists clenched. She was too drunk to register what was happening. Terry spoke while holding an arm around her waist.

“Can we help you, brother?”

POP POP.

Terry’s arm left Y/N’s shoulder. She could hear him fall to the ground with a loud thud. Y/N looked down at his body, hands reaching out behind her to brace the alley wall. Around the corner, footsteps could be heard running back into the club. Y/N placed a hand over her mouth, her eyes watering and her breath leaving her body. She looked up at the man who put two bullets in Terry’s head. That mask cast a haunting shadow. The eyes behind them looked so familiar to her. Her brain began to register what was happening. He lifted that mask, wiping his sweaty nose with the back of his hand that still held that gun. Blood soiled his crisp white tee and jeans.

“What’s up, Princess?”

Y/N wailed.

@tgigoldie​ @soufcakmistress​ @chefjessypooh​ @chaneajoyyy​ @pananegra​ @theblulife​ @becincere​ @blaqwidow91​ @fish-outta-watah​ @eyeknowmywrites​ @crowngold​ @njadakillthiscookie​ @blktinkerbell​ @luvanxi​ @sheisexcellent1​ @chocolatedippedinhoney​ @brandithecrystalgem​ @dababydababydababydababy​ @soulfulbeauty19​ @btitannaaa​ @sunkissedebony97​ @youngblackndgifted​ @harleycativy​ @rbhp​ @thee-germanpeach​ @thadelightfulone​ @palmstreesallday​ @skylahb​ @bakaris-shorty​ @nizzle-mo​ @truglori​ @queenflaws​ @ljstraightnochaser​ @theegoldenchild​ @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade​ @nickidub718​ @vikkidc​ @thehomierobbstark​ @rent-emspoons​ @abluesforlyssa​ @abeautifulmindexposed​ @fd-writes​ @chasingsunlight​ @sickaddiktions​ @munteanhore​ @xo-goldengirl​ @tiava143​ @33kiara​ @honeytoffee​ @asiasblackworld727​ @momobaby227​ @informalmelancholy​ @soulshinechronicles​ @hearteyes-for-killmonger​ @goddessofthundathighs​

#killmonger imagine #killmonger x reader #killmonger fanfiction #nahimjustfeelingit-writes #erik killmonger

[0000507]

Into the Spider-verse, but make it about the Umbrella Academy

Album challenge: Umbrella Academy Edition, i.e. I take a songlist and try and attribute each song to a character.

Song lyrics and (my personal, probably inaccurate) character analysis under the cut. Fair warning, long ass post is long.

So I’m starting this challenge with the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse album because I’ve been listening to it (a lot) lately.

01. What’s Up Danger by Blackway & Black Caviar is, to me, very much a Five song. Like, just check out these lyrics:

Ayy, gettin' old, they doubted us Makes it that more marvelous … Two-hundred miles-per-hour wit' a blindfold on (on) Mama always askin', "Where did I go wrong?" (wrong) What's up, danger? Ah, what's up, danger? Traveled two-hundred miles, I'm knockin' at your door And I don't really care if you ain't done wrong, come on What's up, danger? (Danger) D-don't be a stranger (stranger) I like it when trouble brews, I won't dare change I like it when there's turbulence on my airplanes I like it when I sense things I can't see yet Swimmin' with sharks when they ain't feed yet 'Cause I like high chances that I might lose I like it all on the edge just like you, ayy I like tall buildings so I can leap off of 'em I go hard wit' it no matter how dark it is If I'm crazy, I'm on my own If I'm waitin', it's on my throne If I sound lazy, just ignore my tone 'Cause I'm always gonna answer when you call my phone Like, what's up, danger? (Danger) Like, what's up, danger? Can't stop me now I said, "I got you now" I'm right here at your door I won't leave, I want more What's up, danger?

02. Next up we have Sunflower by Post Malone & Swae Lee which, to be honest, gives me such heavy Vanya vibes I can’t even. More so due to the song itself than the lyrics, but they’re still pretty accurate. That smooth af sound, tho.

Give me a reason to (to, to) Oh, every time I'm walkin' out (ayy) I can hear you tellin' me to turn around Fightin' for my trust and you won't back down Even if we gotta risk it all right now, oh (now) I know you're scared of the unknown (known) You don't wanna be alone (alone) I know I always come and go (and go) But it's out of my control And you'll be left in the dust Unless I stuck by ya

03. Next we have Way Up by Jaden Smith, which, despite being a boppin’ song, really didn’t remind me of anyone in particular until I really sat down and read the lyrics. So I’m going to attribute this one (tentatively) to all of the seven, though I’m leaning a little heavier towards Luther than the rest. 

I went from boy to a man, wow (man) Opposition had to stand down Man I had to make a perfect plan, now I'm on the wave (Wave, wave, wave) I had to fight for the city (for the city) I had to fight for the people (for the people) You gotta do what all leaders do (go) Everyone here, we believe in you (yeah) Know you can be a hero 'cause we seen you do it (woo) And this is the time that we needin' you (you) Everyone is here to see you move (move) Winnin', we winnin', we winnin' (we winnin') We put a world on a wave (wave) And every time you swinging through the city You are the saving the day (let's go) ... We had to fight for the town (town) Now there's no villains allowed ('lowed) Everyone cheer in the crowd But I'm still way up, I'm over the clouds (clouds) We had to fight for the city (city) Competition was lethal (lethal) Honestly it's no biggie (biggie) I had to do what all leaders do ... They always hate on us, but they can't do it without us Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, we out here cleanin' the streets (streets) We don't accept the defeat ('feat) We keep on going until we win (win) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all of 'em weak in the knees (knees) Deer in headlights when they freeze (freeze) But we keep on going until we win

04. Familia by Nicki Minaj & Anuel AA ft. Bantu is, without a single doubt, representative of all of the Hargreeves siblings. Full stop.

Father, father, unforgivable This is my house, you made it personal It's always trouble when they go too far Nobody mess with my familia Father, father, could you bless his soul? He talking crazy, I may lose control

05. The lyrics don’t necessarily fit in some places, but the general tone and feel of Invincible by Amine still makes it a Luther song in my book.

I wanna, I wanna fly right now I wanna see all my homies get down I wanna feel like I can't come down I got a dream so I can't stop now I gotta stop feeling invisible And start feeling invincible Hate feeling impossible The hardest thing is believing in your dreams Stop feeling invisible And start feeling invincible Hate feeling impossible The hardest thing is believing in your dreams I feel like a stranger to myself And sometimes that feels dangerous But I'll bet you'll see me For who I truly am, maybe not if it wasn't bland Some days I look in mirrors and I wonder who's that man

06. Start a Riot by DUCKWRTH & Shaboozey is Diego’s official anthem don’t @ me. The dude probably blasts this when he’s taking down bad guys. A bit of shade, a bit of bass, I can fully see Diego rocking to this song. 

When I say, "Brooklyn, stand up" (stand up) You better just fix your posture And every hero needs his theme song So, who in here tryna You ain't got a chance, boy What you think? (Huh?) I thrown in everything but the kitchen sink (yeah) I try to be friendly in the neighborhood (okay) I know all the little grannies wanna sip they tea (yeah) And here you come, all barging in (huh?) All ugly like a brown fur cardigan We receive the monologue and the arguing I'm like who in here tryna start a riot? … If you bump that action, it don't matter Just let me know, oh, know Make way (make way) I'm comin' through With my crew to make 'em pay I don't need no super suit I'm feelin' brave Don't be a hero Turn around and walk away … Every day is like a sticky situation When evil's looking for a chance (for a chance, ooh) And I know we are the newest generation (newest, newest) We got the power in our hands

07. Hide by Juice WRLD ft. Seezyn is, for me, all about Allison and how having and losing Claire changed her as a person. This is a more sorrowful song, but I still think it fits her. Slow, more laid back, but still heartfelt.

She made me leave the thrills at home And I'm fine with it She really made me lose control I'ma let my love unfold We're just two lost souls But we're fine with it There's love at my front door, short notice You're not like the same girls I notice Think I met my soul mate Yeah, I know it When it gets dark outside In you I confide You help me face my demons I won't hide, hide Girls like you are hard to find I hope you don't mind If I give you the time of your life … Life is not the same With your pictures in my frame Now that you're here I want nothing to change You pick me up when I'm down I need you around You seen me through my darkest times Girl, is there something that you try to find? You brought meaning to my life All because of you, I do right Because of you, I have a purpose Fight for the world, because you're worth it

08. Oof, this next song. Despite having a nice little lo-fi beat and a lighter sound going on, in the context of his experiences I really do think that Memories by Thutmose personifies Ben (both the Umbrella and Sparrow versions) and, to an extension, Klaus (seeing as dead!Ben can only interact with the world through him). 

My memories came back In the form of someone else … Memories It's gon' take some getting used to Memories Feel the pain when it hits you Memories Don't you ever let them fool you Don't you ever let them fool you 'Cause I know that you know that it ain't true I learned the hard way about trust About us, about us You sin and be on your high horse We're not so stable anymore What's left if I give you my all?

09. Save The Day by Ski Mask The Slump God & Jacquees ft. Coi Leray & lougotcash was a tough one, because the sound really didn’t fit in with anyone and I wasn’t really feeling it in regards to the group at large, but then I started digging into the lyrics and...

I pull up and save the day Don't want any problems, I'll be a call away I'm ready for action, fly without a cape I'm one of those ones, they'll never beat me

Okay, fair enough, this one can go into the “All” category. But, y’all, when I tell you I felt my soul ascend when I read this line:

You could still be adopted even though you a sibling

I am positive this song represent all of the siblings, now.

10. It’s time for the angst track, everybody. And let me tell you that Let Go by Beau Young Prince has the reverb, the tone, and the soul crushing lyrics for the job. It’s universal angst, too, because this could honestly apply to any of the seven.

Sometimes I don't really know myself Devil on my back, pray for me, need help Angel in the front tryna guide my steps Who do you call when you need some help? Who do you call when you by yourself? Who do you call when you feel down low? I just wanna scream, I just wanna explode … Violence in the streets, I just wanna calm the beast All these problems I'm just fightin' with myself are enemies Looking for my peace while I'm (Looking for my peace while I'm) I just wanna swing and fly away (fly away) I just wanna see a better day (yeah) I just wanna soar and never drown (never drown) I'm looking for my happiness now (now) I just wanna swing and fly away (fly away) I just wanna see a better day (a better day) I just wanna soar and never drown (drown) I'm looking for my happiness now, yeah

11. Scared of the Dark by Lil Wayne & Ty Dolla $ign ft XXXTENACION is one of those tracks that immediately hooks you, pulls you in, and then sucker punches you in the feelings. With that in mind, in both a literal and figurative sense, this song is all about Klaus.

I'm not scared of the dark I'm not running, running, running No, I'm not afraid of the fall I'm not scared, not at all Why would a star, a star ever be afraid of the dark? I'm not scared I'm not scared, even from the start I'm not scared of the dark Of the dark, mmm Tunechi I ain't never scared and I ain't never horrified I just look down at my Rolex, it said it's the darkest times I ain't never terrified, I ain't never petrified You know I see dead people, I just tell 'em, "Get a life" I ain't never scurred, I'm not sure if that's a word, but I mean every word, feelin' like, "Do not disturb, " wait … You know I can read your mind like I'm the author There's a line for tomorrow and that line's gettin' shorter I'm behind the trigger, what if I am the target? Deep sigh, a sayōnara, I ain't afraid to die It's either goodbye or good mornin', and the skies start to fallin' And I'ma shine in the darkness

12. Elevate by DJ Khalil ft. Denzel Curry, YBN Cordae, SwaVay & Trevor Rich has that kind of upbeat tone, can-do attitude, and fun tempo that immediately makes me want to see a scene where the Hargreeves siblings fight a bunch of baddies (together) to this song.

No millimeter, this is my arena I'm the black widow with a bad stinger And I'll make you scream like a bad singer I'm everything that you wanna be plus more Since there's no heroes anymore Jump out the window, then put the mask on Who the bad man that a man gotta bash on? … They will slander me, I just plan to be Somethin' powerful for my family Tried to balance life and my sanity Show a different side of humanity So amazin', keep appraisin' Save you from a home invasion Chasin' robbers from the bank … When the light shine, I go python I've fallen, on my last lifeline There's no way in my right mind My city up on my back tight How can I possibly act right? I'm Robin Hood, I'm the Black Knight I know you heard 'bout my last fight 'Cause I win, over and over again Battlin' evil, I'm hopin' to win Fightin' my demons, I'm nice for a reason Enticed with the bleedin', I'm showin' my sins How can you expect me to stay sane? Protect me My technique go X speed on high waves and jet skis I jump off this building to save these civilians My strength and my honor is trusted by children I'm ready and willing to fight all these villains No chaos or killings, my style is so brilliant … I may have lost the battle but I will not lose the war I can promise you I will not lose this time

13. And finally, Home by Vince Staples has a soulful kind of sound to it that, combined with the lyrics, reminds me that Five will quite literally do anything, endure anything, kill anything, to get back to and protect his family. It also has a kind of epic choral-esque start and finish to it that felt really nice to listen to.

This morning I woke up in a fortress of distortion I'm at war with my emotions, I'm at war with they enforcement Tryna fight for what's right and got sidetracked Where your mind at? Never mind that Can we think in a blink, you swimmin', you sinkin' You win, you leavin' a head where I've loaded my weapon I stay with my brethren, I pay for protection My prey in my sight so I'm doing what's right and not askin' no questions I wanna be home free Where's one that was lonely? But I'm ready and waitin' For my day of salvation, and I'm patient I'm coming home now I'm coming home … Right where I belong now Right where I belong They looking for saviors, I'm looking for safety They never gon' break me, take me Down on my knees, believe I'm never gon' beg or plead Yeah, I never say never, but I guarantee Gather my strength, goin' hard in the paint Paint you a picture, it's put on display I'm gonna get, they don't give then I take Can't take me down now My feet on the ground now Fight 'til I'm down now Say it out loud now Say it out loud, are you ready for war?

And there you have it. If anyone has any suggestions or questions about this challenge feel free to wander into my ask box.

- 57

#the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #tua #tua luther #tua diego #tua allison #tua klaus #tua five #tua ben #tua vanya #horrance #alluther #fiveya #song lyrics #song list #album challenge #into the spider-verse #umbrella academy #my stuff

[bibibuckleyy]

my thoughts on ‘The taking of Dispach 9-1-1′

this was SUCH a good episode from start to finish! *pulls out a slide show* Now i’ll show you breaking down every. single. scene-

jk lmao...unless?

spoilers below the cut!

lord. have. mercy.

these hoes are givin me major heist vibes

tiffany bby ur the driver but for me to acknowledge you as such you better be Letty Ortiz good hun

wow these thugs are a lot my organized than i first thought like i know they was carryin guns but i aint know they was packin this much like damn

Oceans 8 who?

so i wanna know where they just...got a cop car???

OH HELL NAH Y’ALL BEST NOT MESS WITH TERRY

I MEAN ANA MAY BE HIS SISTER

AND  SHE MAY BE MAKIN MOVES ON EDDIE 

BUT IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE TERRY FLORES SO YOU GET YOUR GUN AWAY FROM SUNSHINE BBY

it’s kinda funny rewatching this scene when you know what’s about to go down

like i’m cacklin like ‘oh shooooot dramaaaa’

but i’m also like ‘SOMEONE GRAB JOSH AND RUN’

“temporary maintenance, happens all the time” cool cool cool 

i’m not freakin out you’re freakin out

josh and maddie are like friend goals i love their dynamic like yoooo

hi yes could you please get that gun away from terry’s head i would really appreciate it.

OMG SECURITY DUDE NOOOO

wow ur like the only line of defense in the dispatch center and they just kicked ur ass

is this where our tax dollars are goin??

fly high josh’s mug, fly high

that absolute look of fear on his face tho, still breaks my heart

josh russo defense squad post up homies

“i love you, howie” nope nope nope didn’t like it the second time either

when that gun went off

LET ME TELL YOU

i just,,,waited for the blood to start comin out of terry

thank god it wasn’t him

good scene lmaooo 9-1-1 writers i hate you all lmao lmao

“bees are the least of your troubles here, sweetheart” I HATE YOU DUDE

someone call mama grant please

“we’ve got dispatch” i do not like this ma’am i’d like to speak to the manager

“you’ll shoot us” man shut the hell up-

“no, we’ll shoot the person next you you” this dude is insane

lookin like mr.clean’s evil cousin LMAOOOOO

“you only do something like this so you can do something...worse”

um whAT-

“you’re being paranoid, she’s fine” CHIMNEY NO NO NO

i don’t think i’ve ever thrown this much popcorn at my tv in my life

as chimney said “don’t do it man” just picture a 5′5 lightskinned girl tripping over her blanket while yelling “DO IT CHIM, DO IT!” and you’ll have me

“sorry, we are experiencing a high call volume” BITCH MORE LIKE A HIGH CRIME VOLUME SOMEBODY GET MAMA GRANT DAMNIT-

*screams* BUUUUUUUUCK 

HI BBY

ooh nice shirt, i guess pink isn’t the only color that suits ya

he looks good in all the colors

whole damn snaaaaack

not to be an idiot on main but seriously, who watches the watchmen?

“i miss like an earthquake or something?” lmao chim is a whole vibe

“wait....why are you calling 9-1-1, is everything ok?” paired with that cute adorable concerned face he made is making me cry ok we don’t deserve buck T-T

“she’s at the call center, what could happen?” AT LOT ACTUALLY

OH THANK YOU JESUS IT’S ATHENA FUCKIN FINALLY 

*cries* mama grant you won’t believe the day i’ve had

“he’s my husband” LMAOOOOO WHAT

whoa tiffany we’ve already had our fair share of mail bombs here that bet’ not be what i think it is

THE PACKAGE IS VIBRATING AND BLINKING TAKE COVER-

ohhhhhhhhhh

it’s just takin out the security systems lmao 

“technical difficulties” BITCH MORE  LIKE CRIMINAL DIFFICULTIES

“i bet this woman really thinks you’re...worthwhile.” JOSH BBY DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS EVERYONE LOVES YOU

ahaha thanks i did not need those flashbacks it hurt enough the first time 

“a woman called about an omelet, i dispatched an officer”

“to the restaurant?”

“not exactly”

???

“i tried calling josh, but no answer” aww josh and buck are friendssssss :)

JOSH HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY THE FIREFAM PASS IT ON

:0

JOSH YOU GENIUS

YOU SMART SMART CINNAMON ROLL

MAMA GRANT IT’S TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES

“nO NO CHIMNEY DON’T HANG UP!” i shouldn’t have laughed so hard

oh great he’s hastily grabbing his jacket. he’s about to do something rash and irresponsible

....someone call eddie.

that’s some good heist music right there

the bad guys look stressed....good.

“you’re here so i can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything foolish” BUT YOU LEFT BUCK

OK BUCK I LOVE YOU BBY

BUT YOU HAVE THIS HABIT OF TURNIN INTO SPECIAL AGENT 007 REAL FAST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE MAN

LIKE

HE’S THE ‘EVERYONE BEFORE ME’ MEMBER OF THE FIREFAM

mama grant i ain’t questionin your authority or nun but like???

WHY WOULD YOU NOT KEEP AN EYE ON BUCK TOO?

HE’S THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE TO DO SOMETHIN STUPID

thats some reckless drivin there buckaroo

buck who were you tryna fool tho

athena only knows one golden retriever dude in this city who drives a grey and black jeep

“ok now, don’t be mad” LMAOOOOOOOO

HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

HE KNEW HIS MOM WAS PISSED TOO LMAOOOO

athena’s look is sending meeeeee 😂😂

omg my god😭😂

“hey buck”

“...hey chim”

athena has some dumbass kids yo

the best part is, she knows it

the way mr. clean broke his neck when dude said ‘police cruiser’ LMAOOOO

“and if it’s not normal?”

“we’ll find out”

*blasts boss bitch*

i love the way buck is kinda concerned for his mom tho

and athena’s just like ‘it’s no sweat sweetie i do this every day’

“shoot her”

BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO

YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

I’LL TELL YOU THAT

“shoot her, now”

try her bitch, see what happens to yo ass. 

the 118

the call center

the entire fandom 

we will collectively end you

“we got a report of a code 77″

THANK GOD THAT GOT ATHENA OUT OF THERE

what is a code 77 you say?

“ambush, proceed with caution”

well it sure nuff aint indecent exposure

*boss bitch keeps playing cause that was super smart for her to give out a code 77*

“maddie is smart, she can take care of herself until help gets there”

HELL YEA SHE CAN

SHE KICKED DOUG’S ASS SHE’LL KICK YOURS TOO

“they’re not gonna wanna leave behind a room full of witnesses”

i’m-i’m fine, i swear-

“killing people, your solution to every problem”

excuse me? do i hear morals??

they’re really fighting each other

they some grade a stupid right there 

there’s no way they are pullin this off

terry

terry what are you doing

TERRY

RUN TERRY RUN GO GO GO

OH SHIT

JOSHHHHHHHH

i thought they were gonna shoot terry

BUT JOSH CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH

wowwwwww dispatch is a lot more badass than i thought

these dudes are hard core

OH

OH JOSH NO BBY

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT

aii square tf up mr. clean we don’t hit josh here and you gon have to pay for that one

the way everyone is just quietly sobbing tho

it saddens me

“I need another thirty minutes”

i’m really enjoying watching this dude’s plan crumble around him

swat posted up aii i see yall

“we’ll try to get eyes in a damn windowless room”

well when you put it that way it sounds like this is hopeless

“i’m sorry i thought you were crazy”

“i’m sorry i wasn’t”

wow i don’t think i was supposed to laugh at that

and chim bein concerned for maddie is literally one if the best things ever y’all.

completely unrelated note, anybody else see bad boys for life?

“yeah i’m ok, my ears are just ringing a little” with the TEARS and the SNIFFLES and him SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN JOSH IS TOO PURE FOR THIS 

“why do you think we asked for so many RA units?” BITCH I KNOW YOU FUCKIN LYIN

for those of y’all that ain’t kno, RA units are rescue ambulance units

way to reassure people, lady

it’s like she said ‘everyone might be lightly shot by the time this is all over’

“so you are worried. it makes sense, cause all your friends keep dissappearing are they even in the same building?” WITH THAT LOOK OF STRAIGHT SPITE DAMN MADDIE BUCKLEY, DAMNNN

we stan the BAMF BUCKLEYS

“oh my god, LINDA??” lo key thought this was real for a second

“latex! is there latex in your gloves?” greg come on man you planned a heist you can’t be this stupid

SURPRISE! LINDA IS ALLERGIC TO BEES

ENJOY YOUR EPINEPHRINE ASSHOLE

OH

OH WOW

WOW DISPATCH

Y’ALL JUST-

WOW

EVERYONES GOT GUNS AND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDD

GIVE IT UP FOR DISPATCH 

you know it’s really funny, cause tiffany ain’t nowhere to be found

“next one goes in your head” OOOOOOOOOOOH SHE’S A BOSS ASS BITCH BROOO YESSSSSSS

(i know, two different songs, but ya gotta admit, it applies)

“you don’t get to die” 

i just-

hands down, most powerful line in the whole episode.

it’s an odd form of vengeance, saving the man that attacked you multiple times from the release of death

 that’s what it would’ve been tho

a release

he would’ve died, and he wouldn’t of had to pay for any of his actions

but instead, josh saved his sorry ass

so he gets to pay for this in the land of the living

the best revenge, actually

and, josh saved a life

he’s worthwhile

“i’m not goin back” well i knew mr. clean was gonna die from the beginning sooooooo

“we’ve got dispatch”  and it’s finally over

i’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get to see SEAL!buck or the rest of the firefam but we got  BAMF!dispatch and that was enough lmao

kudos to those off duty dispatches as well, like y’all just walked past the dead body and moved on from the whole hostage situation to do your already stressful job

CHIM’S FACE WHEN HE SEES MADDIE I AM SOBBING

THEY SAID MADNEY RIGHTS Y’ALL😭😭😭

this hug is everythinggggg 

lo key buck watching from afar breaks my heart ahaha

“she already has everything she needs”

....this is tea for another day, but...

buck, you do know people need you as much as you need them, right?

....right?

still not over that hug tho

ayeeee wassup bobby!

how was the camping trip i was extremely against?

oooooh i love the crime recaps!

i may or may not have been like buck in the bank episode when he said ‘i’m some confused, can you start over’

...ahem....

“wait....you didn’t round her up too?”

ok listen....

while i don’t condone stealing and and the extreme amount of violence they used,

i do condone outsmarting men that think less of you because you are a woman

you are a boss tiffany, and i’m actually kind of sad you got caught

“tiffany was the real mastermind” can i just.....

*BLASTS BOSS BITCH FROM THE ROOFTOPS CAUSE WOMEN OWNED THIS EPISODE! THEY WERE SO DAMN BADASS*

thanks 9-1-1 writers for that, btw. 

gotta admit, as much as they rip out our hearts and stomp on em, they know what they are doin

jake you shady shady bitch

ngl tho both plans were solid 

maybe if it was done completely by women it would’ve worked :)

“looks  like your trip’s been delayed...by about 5 to 15 years” athena you got the best lines yo

jake f’ed up the other plan too lmaoo

like i said, if it was all women, they would’ve pulled this off

and they end it with madney

gosh i loved this episode

So! These were my thoughts on 3x14! Let me know what you think, and hit up my ask box if you want me to post my thoughts on another episode! Later taters!

Oh yeah, if you liked this you can find my thoughts on ‘Pinned’ here!

#911 fox #911 on fox #911 season 3 #911 spoliers #madney #maddie buckley #evan buckley #chimney han #athena grant #my thoughts #kat lmaooo

[thefandomfuckery]

The Album (Enhanced)! Review!

Let me start off by saying some obvious things especially to people who read this blog. First off I’m not a Blink. I really like BP a lot, their music is refreshing, their aesthetic is eye-catching, and I think these girls really have something that’ll take them far, I can’t wait to see that, and will support where I can. But compared to my other fan ventures in the rpf in the past, I would not call myself a “Blink”.

I really had to ruminate on this album cause not only is it short but it is a statement as a first album. So I’ll construct my feelings best I can on the short period I’ve had to draft this.

— How You Like That (8/10)

I’ve listened to this song so many times, not because it’s my favorite but because it’s so indulging. And I think it gets a lot of flack for being similarly toned to KTL. If this would have came out after Ice Cream I think it would have been received a little differently. 

Now the lyrics are pure karma revenge. It feels way more invigorating then most songs of the same ilk. Where all of them sound bitter and scorned. This one has enlightened superiority. Which I find is VERY ON BRAND for BP and I really love that. There’s not really any standout lines like in other songs we’ll talk about but I think as a single it’s bombastic and high energy; they saw people liked that in their music and replicated that to a T. I think this does a much better job then similar projects like Work From Home > Down. Same team wants to make the same song but didn’t really understand why the first did so well. 

The instrumentals especially during the chorus are so uniquely earworm. It does not stick to one beat continuously. The slow interludes really bring those high pace parts at the end and into the chorus into higher motion. It really just is a solid song. Is it bombastically THEIR BEST? No. But I think it comes it, steals your money and walks out like a boss.

— Ice Cream ft. Selena Gomez (7/10)

Like the previous I’ve listened to this song a lot and I was actually pretty lukewarm on it for the first few days. It was a fine single. I like the bubblegum splendor of it, the summer taste, the simplicity in it’s finest. And though I still like it, I do think it’s smaller then anything else on the album. It’s fine in that respect, the variety is welcome and I think this will have marketability and uses down the line. Overall it’s just okay.

The music on this one unlike the last, where we hear one continuous beat; lots of American production has this, sometimes it really HITS, the speed up and slow down of the one on Ice Cream really makes you jive, the ice cream truck melody in the back is actually clever, I wish it was slightly more prominent. 

And Lisa’s verse kind of slam dunks the whole song. It’s kinda so clever that I think everyone in the industry should work with them just because of that. 

I actually do like Selena, though I don’t think she adds much with BP because her voice is almost too similar in range and tone. 

THE ONLY PART I WILL CRITIQUE HIGHLY ON IS. WHY WASN’T THE LINE: “Diamonds on my wrist / Coldest with the kiss, so he calls me ICE QUEEN.” <<< I kept singing this instead thinking it was the line and then saw the lyrics and went, wait, why he calling you ice cream!!!!

— Pretty Savage (9/10)

So when I heard this song, with no lyrical context, I went “pretty smooth and sassy” I didn’t have much to connect with other then some of the interludes of the song were nice transitions, which means it’s too calm to make it a single. 

Then I saw the lyrics.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. It’s the baddest bitch song I have ever heard. This is the song SOME GG want to make and pathetically try to emulate this ENERGY but cannot because it sounds fake as fuck. 

The lyrics are so borderline “yes queen step on me with your 6 inch heels” and a big fat call out letter to the world. I mean what else is there to say. 

It’s not super complex production wise, I really like that piano opening and some of the harmonizing “ahhhs”. But where the lyrics speak for the songs I can’t even be disappointed.  

— Bet You Wanna ft. Cardi B (6/10)

I thought I’d have more to say about this song. It was definitely the most HYPED song on the album. But it’s also the shortest song as well. I really want to like this song more then I do but I have issues with it.

First off, the lyrics are kinda super basic. Like even more then Ice Cream. I had to really pay attention to the lyrics cause I kept zoning out and just jamming instead of actually thinking about what this song was. 

It’s kinda just a love song of sorts. It’s not bad, I just think that, yeah of course this will be a single and people aka the GP probably really jam to it because it’s so packaged.

Now about Cardi, I’m not her biggest fan. Women has talent. I like bits of her persona and though I think her verse is fine, she’s barley on the track for a whole 20 seconds. She spit a good verse and though I don’t think her raunchy lyricism that she usually spits would work here exactly, I do feel the lack of that of her talent missing. 

The part of (Ah, I’m gon' make you go blind, every time I walk my hips they don’t lie) and (Higher higher higher high boy better take it up so damn high). I think there needed to be more lyric drops like these with reverb to add some spice to this, we aren’t getting much changes in the music nor speed up / slow downs to pace differently other then Cardi a slight bit. 

I don’t hate it, I just really wanted more. 

— Lovesick Girls (9/10)

I really thought in the process of listening to this song for the first time, “nah this song is way too slow for it’s own good” But then I kept replaying it and though I tried not to comment on the videos or use them for aid in my decision. I think the beat hits and slower drops in the song for the sad melodies were very clever. 

This song is bittersweet high. It’s lyrically a combo of all these feelings of wanting to be a romantic, enjoying the good times, but feeling hurt over the bad. It’s on the verge of being complex for a pop song. Good for breakups!

The lyrics themselves are also so clever, Jennie and Lisa combo rap in the middle was very slick but Rose and Jisoo taking over the melodic sadness really took up their strengths. Jisoo end verse is so heart clenching!

There’s not much else to reminisce on here. I think it’s very well assimilated into one core idea and packs a huge punch. Deep and sound are excellent. 

— Crazy Over You (10/10)

I’m just gonna say it. This is my favorite song on the album. It does not have a second of breathing room. It’s the best energy, it has the best lyrics, the production is THE HIGHEST TIER; the most interesting music incorporation with sounds and add on’s, not too many just a perfect amount!

I’m not gonna sit here and explain all the goodness of the lyrics but “Feels wrong but it's right, right Blacked out, no night light Pinked out like fight night” and “ Got the venom to dead him if he want a snake I mean, sneak, I mean, play hide and seek.” !!!!!!!

It plays the right amount of crazy obsession to it, nothing murderous or stupid. It’s like Lovesick, a concept perfectly contained into one song. This is what I want from them all the time!

— Love to Hate Me (9/10)

I think this is the companion piece to Pretty Savage, the more personal influx of “you gonna hate me, there’s the door.” Again this is always a emotional standpoint lots of artists try to display but it doesn’t come off this cool and calculated. It’s almost too good for it’s own good. It can also be good for women with too jealous of partners, it has multiple layers. 

This one borders up to a perfect 10, I just wish the music had a bit more PUSH. I think the halts in the music cool downs are good and Lisa’s rap really mic drops the whole thing, it actually could’ve ended there! 

— You Never Know (5/10)

I called this one the dark horse the second I finished the album. It kinda is the mismatched piece in the whole album. I want to give it credit with the range it shows of the girls but at the same time, it’s not vocally interesting to be ballad like nor is it lyrically infused with interesting lines or verses to give it flavor. 

I tried just listening, then lyrically analyzing, and then infusion of both but I honestly can’t get a good stance on this song. It feels confused? It almost felt self reflecting in the lyrics but then it kind of incorporates random elements that didn’t feel like it jived. Just one long stagnate beat across the whole song. 

I’ve felt this way about their other more, acoustic ballad like songs. So this isn’t really a shock to me, I’m not sure if this is just a kpop choice, Korean ballads aren’t really the same as ones in the west, or if I just don’t connect with the song emotionally. 

— Total Score: 7.8

For their first album I think this is a solid statement. It has good range, it has impressive collabs, it showcases their talents. I think there could be good room for polish with certain songs to make them work even better but overall it really feels like AN ALBUM and not an EP. I think they could have released 2 more songs in here so instead of 6 new songs with the release we could’ve had a solid 8 with a 10 track album. But it works. I rather have a more complete work then filler. 

With a side note: This album really felt like it was suppose to be released in the Spring? Maybe it was but with the COVID and all that jazz it got pushed. But the more and more I thunk on it, the more it felt like the songs, especially the singles would have thrived better in the Summer season. I don’t think this detracts from the success it’s just a thought, realistically music release is all about timing so anything could be more or less of a hit because of when to release. 

I’ll be very anxious to see what they do with their future singles and hopefully their next album exceeds this one. I think they’re at their best when they dig deep and go musically beyond their peers. I’d even be interested in them changing format because some of their songs in layout have a lot of similarties. It’s a good formula but their evolution would interest me highly. 

#blackpink #review #i spent way too damn long making this #appreciate it

[batfamily-trash]

A Little O.D.D

I was wondering if you could write an imagine with batsis!reader based off of O.D.D. by Hey Violet? Extra angsty pretty please? Like the reader has trouble in school and no one really likes her? 

Warning: Deals with death, angst, language, nightmares, mentions dying

Part 1 of 2

You usually had nice and peaceful dreams, dreams where your life was perfect. Like tonight, it was just you and your mom eating ice cream while taking a walk in the park. Enjoying the scenery. Then it changed. Your mom was under a car while you were on the side of the road trying to crawl towards her. You tried to shout but you couldn’t. No sound would come out of your mouth. The closer you got the further away she moved. Just when you thought you could reach her, the car exploded.

“L/N WAKE UP WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE!”

You woke up in a start. You were gasping for air as tears rained down your face. You glanced at the door then at your alarm clock which was playing your favorite song. You turned it off and got off your bed wiping off your tears.

“L/N!”

“GODDAMMIT DAMIAN I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!” you shouted at the closed door. You couldn’t deal with Damian’s personality, and he couldn’t deal with your whole existence. He hated you with a burning passion. He thought you were just a person trying to get in the way of his family. He didn’t like you at all.  And he was going to use every single minute of his life to let you know.

You stomped to your closet and pulled out your uniform and shoes and stomped to the bathroom to take a quick shower. After getting changed and fixing your hair you glared at your reflection. You had bags under eyes from not properly sleeping and your scars from the car accident were still visible.

You dreaded waking up every morning just to go to a school where they make fun of you for no reason other than the fact that you were the product of a one night stand and that you were a charity chase. You ran out of the bathroom and quickly grabbed your phone, headphones, and backpack. You put your headphones in and put on the first song that came up on your playlist.

I was raised by a mom

who told me I should never listen to another voice But my own

You hummed along to the lyrics as you pushed Damian out of your doorway and walked downstairs to the kitchen.

“Tt, why do you always take so long?” Damian complained. Now I’ve grown up, now I know That when I’m tryna be myself it isn’t so simple Anymore

“Well, I didn’t want to see your ugly ass face this early in the morning,” you retorted.

You saw Damian clench his fist from the corner of your so you took off running before he could throw the punch.

Some days I wake up I just wanna hide under the covers

If only that were possible you thought… ‘Cause no matter what I do I’ll never be like all the other

You grabbed an apple from the counter and sprinted the driveway before anyone could strike a conversation with you.

“What’s up with her?” you heard someone ask. You sighed and opened up the front door. Life wasn’t going to get any easier, was it?

I’m a little O.D.D Most people really don’t get me

All the way to school Damian wouldn’t stop glaring or complaining about you. Honestly, you were too tired to care. Once you were in school you made a beeline for your first class. You really didn’t hang out with anyone. All your friends were back home in Keystone. Once in your class, you walked to your sit in the back far corner of the room, your head hanging down.

I’m the girl in the back of the class

Blank stare, don’t care, don’t ask

Your classmates were annoying as hell. If they weren’t bugging you they were talking about you, and if they weren’t talking about you then you get the gist.

I’m a little O.D.D

And I see the way they look at me

This is your third month in this putrid school and you haven’t gotten used to the stares or whispers.

I can hear it when they talk that trash

Saying “Any minute she gon’ crack”

“So Wayne, is it? How’s life? I heard about the fight with Xavier,” April the school star said.

“April,” you started, “what do you need?”

“Can’t I try and make friends with you?”

“No, you insulted my mom and my friends. You ruined the one thing I still had of her,” you said.

“Ok, who’s gonna want to be friends with this sell out anyway,” she said walking back to her desk. You glared at everyone who was staring at you before laying your head down on the desk. Just when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse someone dumped water on you.

“Oops, sorry.”

Oh

My sister, bless her heart

She was the only one who had my back when everyone

Else did not

Cass was the only person who would check up on you at all. If she saw you in distress she would help you. If Damian was being a prick she would stop him. She was an angel among idiots.

Looking back, it’s crazy

I almost turned into the person people told me I

I should be

Your mother taught you to be humble, be nice to everyone. If it weren’t for Cass you would probably be in even more trouble than you were now.

“You’re failing the majority of your classes,” your ‘dad’ told you.

“I’m sorry but how am I supposed to deal with school if I’m still grieving and the idiots I call ‘classmates’ won’t stop talking about me.”

“Ignore them.”

“As if it were that simple! They’re on my ass all day! y/n this, y/n that! y/n you should just go kill yourself. y/n are sure you’re even Bruce Waynes daughter?” you shouted, “I’m done! I can’t do this anymore!”

You ran out of the study bumping into your adoptive brothers.

Some days I wake up I just wanna hide under the covers

Another day, more problems. This time though you did hide under the covers. Same dream, same nightmare, different outcome.

'Cause no matter what I do I’ll never be like all the others

Because—

You stayed in bed not wanting to get up. But your brother’s had other plans.

“Get up lazy we’re going out,” Jason said barging in your room.

You groaned in annoyance and kicked at them. “Can’t I be alone with my thoughts for one second?!?!”

“No.”

I’m a little O.D.D

Most people really don’t get me

I’m the girl in the back of the class

Pink hair but I’m wearing all black

What your brothers didn’t tell you was that they were all going to a press conference.

can hear it when they talk that trash

Saying “Any minute she gon’ crack”

“Miss Wayne! What can you tell us about your mother!”

“Is it true what they say?”

“Was the accident staged?!?”

All of the press were on you like bees swarming a beehive. The audacity. Bruce gently pushed you forward and told you to not answer any questions. So many personas for one man. You could barely keep the one you had up.

I’m a little O.D.D

And I see the way they look at me

You glanced at your brother as Bruce answered questions. Dick, Jason, and Cass looked at you with pity. Damian had a smirk on his lips. And Tim looked distracted. What was going on?

I can hear it when they talk that trash

You listened as Bruce answered a question directed towards you. Apparently, while you suffered in silence something had happened. You saw Jason whisper something to Dick who quickly looked out into the crowd, you followed his gaze. You stiffened in your place. You caught a glimpse of the person Jason was talking about. Tears formed in your tears.

“Mom?”

Saying “Any minute she gon’ crack”

#batsis #batboys #batsis x batfamily #batfamily #batfamily x reader #a little odd

[lysieblu]

When the Camellia Blooms

So I decided to do commentary this time. I usually have a lot to say when wacthing dramas but forget it all quickly.

Mild Spoilers Ahead

I’ve renamed the characters because auto-correct sucks if your first language isn’t Korean.

Oh Dong-Baek - Dongbaek

Hwang Yong-sik - Smiley

Choi Hyang-mi / Choi Go-eun - Clepto Waitress

No Gyu-tae - Tae or Gyu-tae

Hong Ja-young  - Baseball, baseball dude

Jo Jung-sook, Dongbaek’s mom - Mama bear

Deok-soon, Yong-sik’s mom - Ma dukes

Why is it that society can take anything and make it a reason to put others down. Humans ain't shit. Episode 6 “Girls like me are like the Emperor's New Clothes... Good guys cants see me.” Best quote of the whole drama so far. Clepto waitress, I love her. She was weird and I wasn't sure if she was playing old dude, Tae. But she was and kinda genius at it. Men help create the traps they get caught in. Is Dongbaek really going to die in the end because it really sucks as this sad girl narrative goes. Being an orphan and or single mom does not doom you. The society in which she lived did. She was a fighter and would always win. The fact that she made it so far in life despite believing the bs others were telling her and the shit she was telling herself is worthy of praise. Episode 7 Smart girl to keep a tab of bad behavior. I just wish she had a bit more confidence, petty, and bad bitch in her delivery. This self deprecating behavior is getting old now. But this kind of behavior can't be unlearned in a night. It's so frustrating. This is why I can't be a therapist. Get a grip bitch. (kidding I know how healing works) all you can really do is pour in the positive and hope it flushes out the negative. That's why smiley is good for her but God he's annoying. He may be good and all but he had def benefited from her lack of boundaries. The dead girl at the end is the Clepto waitress. She stole the bracelet from Dongbaek and thus why the dead body is wearing it. Go Gye-tae has something to do with the murders. He is too punk to do them himself. But he knows and is close to the murderer. The timing of the alarm at the aesticians office. Tae saved her  I think it's the handy man. Episode 8 Chief is looking really suspect. Clepto waitress has crossed the line to disrespectful. Is she really risking hurting Dongbaek to get baseball dude? I think extortion always been her MO. Mom was referring to her when she said watch who you trust. I don't think she's the killer but bitch is not innocent. Episode 9 I hate bitches. It's true that for some people who never grew the fuck up... Hate is their love language. Cliques need a common enemy to thrive and they are weak as fuck. It doesn’t help that Dongbaek never puts them in their place. Me and Dongbaek are the same age and had our kid about the same time. I don't think the killer is female. Unless that bitch is Ronda Rousey I would like to believe I can fight off a bitch with chicken wire. Chief is looking suspect as hell. Why is he always throwing Smiley off the track or avoiding the case. He knows something. I am by no means taking baseball guys side, however I do feel that both parents should be given the opportunity to be parents to their kid. It's unfair to not tell him about his child when he clearly wants to be a father. The scar can go both ways. You son can resent you for keeping this from his father. Pil clearly knows what's up. Dongbaek is growing up. In a way, this is a death flag. But I still don't believe it's her. Episode 10 There isn't a cloud in the sky. They are walking around without coats. And you expect me to believe that it's cold enough for snow. I still feel like Joker isn't a female but her mom is looking hella suspect. What if the connection between all the victims is Dongbaek. Maybe they somehow did her wrong and crazy momma bear was protecting her. But I really can't see her climbing out of a window. Plus the fire alarm.   Trust no one. A lot of people have said the "don't be a joke" line. I called it. That ending was more of a death red flag. So the dead lady is Clepto waitress. She probably died because she obviously owes debts. Dude in hair salon was creepy. But that is separate from joker. I know this goofy mug. I've seen it somewhere (Googling it) ah.. yes... Mr Smiley was in Midnight Runners, playing a cop there too if I remember correctly. Episode 11 A bunch of elementary school kids fighting over baseball. Me yelling at my TV: GET EM!!! Let me tell y'all. I would have been on that field lighting shit up, whipping everyone's ass. Little boy go get yo momma so she can get your ass beating. 😡 Chief is acting wonky. He knows something. What's with the mom? She seems so protective... Now? What about her dad? What if Dongbaek's parents are some crazy con artists who are protecting their daughter by killing off people who conned her? They are basically trying to tell her to "get a grip bitch!" Or "don't be a joke." And did you see her grab the belt and wrap around her fist? She knows what the fuck she's doing. (I want her on my team in a fight) Why is Dongbaek not questioning her lucidity? 🤔 Clepto waitress is the childhood friend.?!. 🤨 IT WAS THE FUCKING HANDYMAN!!! I CALLED IT!!! 🥳🙌🏾👏🏾 Yass bitches. I'm fucking brilliant. Hold on... let's not get ahead of ourselves. Episode 12 This shit just became an episode of 24 “Why try to live so hard?” Because if I live up to the narrative people create for me based on some societal BS explanation, they win. They can say, "see I told you all _______ are _______." Fuck your prejudices and stereotypes. The last thing I want to do is prove some asshole right. So many people want her dead they are trying to confuse me. Who the fuck is the joker?? Handy man's dad? Is he even alive? And this lack of boundaries is killing me. Dongbaek needs to put both those men in their place. Baseball needs to know he has no legal rights, period, if his name is not on the birth certificate. It would be the kids decision as to what his relationship with his dad is. She also needs to tell Smiley to get a fucking grip and that dealing with Baseball is part of being with her. These situations can coexist and it's frustrating to think otherwise. Mom dukes needs to chill. Her son has to make his own decisions and fuck-ups and she cannot fault Dongbaek for that. Life is hard, regardless. If it ain't this, it would be something else. Who lives an easy life?? Challenges build character. And I get it some things you can avoid. But they are grown in their 30s, who at this point does not come with baggage? And fuck you for trying to make me cry. I'm at work Episode 13 Is momma bear on drugs? Her behavior isn't totally out of the ordinary but maybe she goes away to trip and comes back. Lawd we all gon die together😮 They are teasing this story line so hard.  IDK who the joker is. I'ma stick to the handy man but everyone in this story is guilty of something and really it's like matching the crime to the person or the person to the crime. Who killed Clepto? Was it her enemies or the joker? What momma bear is up to? Who's the joker? Is the joker and cleptos killer the same person? What's handy mans deal? Out of all of clepto's enemies, I believe the only ones capable of killing her are Mr. Pimp, Jessica because she's desperate, or Momma bear because she's protecting Dongbaek. In which case, her death is separate from the Joker's killings. Episode 14 You think Smiley's mom may be jealous because no one took an interest in her with three kids? Hold... The ... Fucking.... Phone... It's handy man's dad??? Behind  every weak man is a mother (parental figure) who never held him accountable. I'm tired of grown people not acting like they are grown, kiss and have sex already... Damn. Oh so now they were meant to be? And did Momma bear really come for a kidney? Episode 15 There is a such thing as too much motherly love. This lady is fucking delusional. Her son has always been the type to run towards trouble. Does she really think his life would be easier without Dongbaek? Really? Go-tae is cleared. He was guilty but his crime is gambling. Jessica hit clepto with her car but someone delivered the final blow. Was it Momma bear? Or joker? I think Chief is cleared too. He was just operating out of fear. So hold up. Momma bear has been watching over Dongbaek her whole life. If Momma bear is lurking in the shadows of course she would run into someone else lurking in the shadows. Bitch. Episode 16 Laugh cry? Jesus Christ Dongbaek is stupid. A abandoned mall. Really? She's like a white chick in a horror movie. No don't go in there. Run bitch. 😔 Always take the fucking stairs. I can't. If she falls, I quit. Episode 17 They look like the fucking Power Rangers and I AM LIVING for this movement. Ordering me a track suit on payday. He gets it. He fucking gets it. "I know I made you be a mother when you wanted to just be a woman" 🥳 "We'll not only feed him, we'll wipe his ass if we have to" My bitch. 😂😂😂 If this shit ends with Pil going with his father, I quit. People and situations can peacefully coexist. What's with this all or nothing attitude? And this discarding of a previous family or kids. I see it a lot in these dramas and it's disturbing. Episode 18 Pil's in for a rude awakening but it's a lesson that his mom can't protect him from. His dad may have nice things, but he ain't shit. He'll be back. Damn even your kid thinks your weak. Or is he being mean? He did it for his mom. Funny.. he's assuming what she wants. Did she ever say that she couldn't marry Smiley because of him? Did Smiley say it? That Ma Dukes said it and it's unfortunate. He's too young to realize which opinions matter  Society sucks for making a kid feel this way. Fuck that shit. It just hit me. One of the underlying themes of this drama is parenthood,  more so motherhood. Dongbaek lacked boundaries, even with her son. Smiley's mom is delusional about her son and life in general. She relied on him too much, babied him too much. I don't think any woman would not have been good enough in the long run. The guilt of his father dying, she blames herself, a burden she should have never had to bare, and never fully healed. She projecting that onto Dongbaek. Dongbaek's mom is seeking redemption. She did what she thought was best for her kid. Jessica's mom put up with an asshole for the sake of everyone else and probably to maintain her life. She's learning that she doesn't want that for Jessica. That her own insecuries have transferred to her. Taeks mom is selfish as fuck and babied her son, never holding him accountable. Mother's think they know what's right for their kid, but a nice life from the outside doesn't guarantee a nice life from the inside. That nice lawyer could have treated your daughter like a slave. But it all looks nice to the neighbors. People have got to let "perceptions" go. Most of the time people with the "worst" past have the best character. The issue with it all is.. most mother's define themselves by their kids or husbands. Korea does it very literally. Then, when it all goes away; your kid grows up, your husband may die or leave, what's left of you? Who are you? Women are incouraged to be everything for everyone else but nothing for themselves. When we do, we are made to feel guilty or less than for it. Dongbaek needs to be away from him for while. How this is happening sucks but both of them have lessons to learn. If they don't live happily ever after I have wasted my 20 hours of my life. This is utter bullshit. I hope they're fucking with me. Episode 19 This would have played out differently if she had a daughter. This is literally why fuck boys are running amuck these days. Moms who use their sons (sometimes daughters) as substitutes for men and adult relationships. Boundaries. To love your dad so much even though he is a killer is unhealthy. Sik needs psyhological help. It sends the wrong message that you need to or have to take you parents (family members) bs just because they are parents (or family.) In hindsight, a red flag. I don't want Dongbaek to be a match. I don't want her to give her kidney. I don't like the idea of someone younger giving someone older an organ. Once you've passed 50 you have lived your life. The donor should be the same age or older and preferably on their death beds. Especially in Dongbaek's case. What if something goes wrong and Pil looses his mother and grandmother? You going to let that man-child raise him? I would never be okay with taking any organ from my kid. Episode 20 So it was the handy man? I was right bitches. And his dad is covering for him. Wow let it be known that Episode 7 I called it! He was framing his dad and playing everybody. Why didn't he kill Ma tho? Loving people and being kind-hearted is so fucking easy. Why do humans make it so hard?? I know these dramas are fiction but someone somewhere has lived a similar life. Where the fuck would I be if I didn't have an awesome mom and a loving family? Ongson feels like Stars Hollow. Them pants are rather high-waisted. That ended well. It had important lessons that I hoped someone learned from. Good story. Why I suspected the handy man? It's usually the character that can easily go unnoticed. He has access to the whole town, knew everyone and smart enough to cover his tracks. Everyone else was too obvious but the story did a great job of making me doubt my initial suspicion. Bravo. Low key miss clepto waitress. When she wasn't being a extortionist, she was a fun character.

[areasontobreathe]

To any of my followers who spent their holidays being judged by strangers and family who can’t take the time to even know you, I just want you to know, you aren’t alone.

On every single social media platform I am on, I try very hard to spread positivity.  And I get it, it comes off a little saccharine at times - You aren’t just thinking I am trying to hard sometimes.  I am literally trying too hard sometimes, because I have had such a crummy day/week/whatever that I want to put some ‘nice’ in the world in case someone else is going through what I am going through, or something even worse.

Because, honestly, I wish someone was there to be nice to me.

However, the travesty of a holiday that I recently experienced must be said.  This is your last chance: if you click below, there is profanity, mention of homophobia, mention of someone wishing rape on another individual, discussion of Christianity in both positive and negative light, and you’ll probably leave thinking I am crazy.  And that’s okay - I know it sounds nuttier than squirrel turds, but it’s a harmless kind of crazy, which you’ll see if you read on.

Oh, and this is 100% not made up.  Which is even weirder.

Christmas is usually my absolute favorite holiday.  I get an excuse to wear silly sweaters and buy silly and/or thoughtful gifts.  I get to cook for people I love and their families.  Deck the house out in lights, cinnamon scented everything. I just love it.

2018 conspired to change that, apparently. In the lead up between Thanksgiving and Christmas, my spouse and I had a huge fight.  The reason? Their family decided that ‘we’ were doing Christmas at my spouse’s uncle’s house. The misogynist, racist, homophobic, Christian zealot uncle’s house.

Umm... How about nooooooooooo.  I refused to go, because this man has successfully pissed me right the fuck off every holiday for the last 7 years.  I am not letting him ruin my Christmas this year. No.  So, fight ensues, because my family is staying with us, and my spouse currently cannot stand the sight of my mom and wants to spend time with his family.

Eventually, the decision is made that the in-laws are coming to my house for Christmas instead (what on earth did I sign up for?).  I made 2 things abundantly clear:

1) My family does an appetizer-buffet style Christmas, so that’s what I’m making, because I just made an enormous, traditional Thanksgiving dinner a month ago.

2) If Uncle Douchenozzle acts out of line, I’m kicking him out of my house. End of story.  I’m a big believer in forgiveness, but that doesn’t mean I have to let him be rude to me.

Spouse agrees, in laws are coming to my house. Sigh.

Day of Christmas, I’m busting my butt getting food prepared, because my kitchen is too tiny for assistance, really, and everything has to be timed properly, whatnot.  All other family members are sick and can’t make it. Okay, fine, leftovers for days.

Oh, But Uncle Douchenozzle makes it over to my house.  He insists we all stop eating so he can pray over the meal before he eats.  He talks at the top of his lungs and drives literally everyone but my spouse and I out of the room, and I’m squishing a panic attack as hard as I can to avoid being rude.  Finally, time to exchange gifts, which means we can usher him out soon. He hands my spouse a wrapped package, and me a card.  It’s a pretty typical Christmas card, doves and peace and joy and all that.

And a little note:

Go ahead. Look those verses up.  I’ll wait.

.

.

.

Yeah.  You did not misread those.  This man came into my home, at my reluctance, ate at my table, and gave me Christmas card with a message that says, essentially, that I’m going to Hell.  I’m sure he meant well, in his judgmental way: he has made inferences that my spouse and I don’t know God and he would really like us to get saved, etc, so on, so forth, for several years now.  But the thing is? He has no idea what our leanings on faith/religion are.  He has never bothered to ask, he just assumes we are Atheists or something because we disagree with him a lot of the time.

Well, yeah dude.   You disowned your daughter when she came out to you at 18, and literally said you hope she gets raped as punishment from God for her homosexuality.  I’m gonna disagree with you, hard.

And this is where things get kind of hysterical: I do, actually, believe in God.  I’m saved. Have been for over 20 years.  Then again, I don’t think Uncle Douchenozzle and I believe in the same God necessarily, sooo.... And honestly, I would never say I am Christian, because WBC is ‘Christian’, Uncle Douchenozzle is ‘Christian’, and I agree with half of one fact that I have heard from either of them - Yep, There’s a God.  After that, it’s a lot of ‘nope’.

Where I start to sound madder than a box of frogs:  The reason I don’t believe in any of the same things they do.  It’s because I am, believe it or not, a child of prophecy.

Wait!  Hang on!  I’m not joking!  Just listen a sec, okay?

When I was 14, I was a Church Camp (which is a thing), and the pastor at the camp prophesied over me between lunch and dinner one day (If you have ever spent a lot of time around Fundamental Christians of the Protestant Flavor, this is a really normal thing, I swear).  Nothing flashy, no booming harmonics or funny lights or suspicious fog machines.  But I will never forget what he told me, especially because it came out of pretty much nowhere.

He said that I was called by God to be a Servant (be patient...).  Not to serve and grovel at the foot of man, but help and aide others without hesitation, to love without judgement, and to forgive completely.  And that, while my name would be forgotten, as all servants in the Bible were (even the Angels who opened Jesus’ tomb had no names) my kindness and unwavering support of people would change lives.

He said this.  To a 14 year old girl.  Who was eight years into being abused by her own brother, and only stopped being abused by her grandmother because the grandmother fucking croaked.  I did exactly what you think I did.  I said “oh, fuck this dude, he’s nuts.”  And I spent the next several years avoiding being kind to people, just because no one was there for me when I needed it.

Oh, my, gosh.  I was miserable.  Then, God got a little impatient and a lot less subtle about this shit: My boss asked me to help her organize a food and gift drive for underprivleged teenagers who aged out of Toys For Tots but were still young enough that it sucked not getting Christmas presents.   I had actually been one of those kids before, minus the toy drive, so I attacked this thing with a vengence. My team spoiled those kids rotten, gave them good food that you actually want to eat.... everything for Christmas dinner but the main meat course.  I did God’s work out of spite because no one was there for me like that.

It was the gateway good-deed, my friends.  I was genuinely happy for the first time in years. And it slid from there: Being nice to people, volunteer events and fundraisers once a month, 6 different gift and/or food drives at Christmas, you name it.  And I feed people.  Oh my gosh do I feed people.  It’s like a compulsion: if you are at my house and it gets dark, I assume you are staying for dinner and will cook for you.

But other things have come to mind over the years: I have never in my life judged someone for their religion.  Honestly, I’m pretty sure we all believe in the same higher power, we just use different names (which, technically, Christianity does say there is only one God... And if they’re all the same higher power, then yeah, that’s true).  Being a jerk about it, yeah I judge, but I let them prove they’re assholes before I call them one.  I have always been genuinely nonplussed when people come out to me. Cool, I’m very glad you trust me enough to tell me.  I will literally never tell anyone, because that would not be cool of me. Okay. Good talk. And I am actually that person who sees a challenge when someone decides they don’t like me as a person. Oh, for real fam?  We gon’ be besties.  Just you wait. (One person I did this to actually brags out how ‘insidiously friendly’ I am)

Then we circle back, and that Bible verse is jotted in my Christmas card.  I sobbed for 2 hours, could not calm down.  Like, dude, you don’t even know me.  I am literally doing what God told me to do! 

So yeah, if you had someone hate you for religion, or sexual orientation, or being trans... if you had to hide yourself and listen to them disparage people like you, I am so so sorry.  But I’m here for you.  Because you read this entire beast of a post, so you were there for me.  We need to be there for each other 💜

#long post #i'm not kidding #tw:profanity #tw: christianity #really this is long

[collateralfiction]

21

Bailey

Day One in Turks and Caicos; well, more so the first morning spent in this beautiful island. Last night, the crew and I didn’t do much since we were pretty much beat and didn’t have the energy to do something strenuous, so we stayed in the Villas we would be housing for a good week or so. However, today we decided to actually come up with some plans and do something with the time we do have. I was all for it and furthermore for the simple fact that my birthday was tomorrow. This would definitely be a different experience for me not having my family and friends around for my birthday. Even with my father not being around the past two years, I was still surrounded by family. This year around, it’s completely different. I’m around people who are genuinely nice and caring but the circumstance is way too unfortunate and it’s hard to look over that at times.

But I wasn’t going to allow for it to ruin my mood. I’m blessed to be turning twenty-two, alive and breathing. It could be way worse and possibly, my predicament is already the worst case scenario. Shaking my head of those thoughts, I finished getting ready for the day. I brushed my long hair back into a sleek ponytail, making sure that all of my baby hair was slicked down to a T. Justine and I were going to enjoy our morning at the local Spa that was provided in our care packet. The boys were going to stay back and monitor Austin with rotations since he couldn’t be left behind. But knowing how attentive and loving everyone is towards Austin, no one really complained about having to watch him. Besides Justine and I, the boys don’t even seem that interested in us being out of the country. It’s just another hot spot for them.

Placing my brush down, I was finally satisfied with my hair. I made sure I looked presentable before cutting off the light and evacuating out of the bathroom. Adrian laid on the bed diagonally, his phone in his possession, furiously typing away. He’s been on it since we took a shower this morning, throughout breakfast and even now. Deciding to mess with him, I climbed on top of his back and laid in the exact position he was in. “Can you get off your phone for a minute? What’s so important that got you tied up like this?” I questioned.

“Why you worried?” he retorted, locking the device and throwing it towards the top of the bed. “Get off my back. You’re heavy as fuck,” he grunted.

“Am not,” I mumbled. With not a lot of energy, he flipped us around and I was now the one lying underneath him while he laid in between my legs. “But you are,” I grumbled, running my fingers through his hair. It was usually kept neat in a nice shape up, but I guess he stopped caring because it was now growing into a small afro. It was cute though.

“Why you wearing this though? You know niggas thirsty out here,” I was simply wearing a neutral colored romper that just so happened to expose more legs than any other item in my suitcase.

I rolled my eyes playfully. “Last I checked, I was single,”

“So, you just dumped ol’ dude like that?” he smirked.

“Boss shit,” I giggled. “To be honest, I just think we were saving hope onto something that was dead a while ago,”

“So, if you were to see him right now, what would you do?” he inquired.

Tucking my bottom lip into my mouth, I honestly thought about what would be the first thing on my mind. I don’t even know where I stand with Ryan in this moment of time. There’s nothing worse than moving on and not having closure and although I rather not deal with him, it’s inevitable that I will run into him since I tend to hang around in Harlem because of him. “Kick his ass,” I said indifferently. “I mean, that’s the only legit response I have for him. Fuck him,”

“Keep that mentality,” he laughed lightly. “You gon’ need it,” I didn’t bother asking what he meant by that because I know sooner rather than later, I would find out.

“You and these riddling ass words,” I mumbled. He looked at me as if he had something to say but refused to open his mouth on the subject matter. Ryan was secretive as hell and it would be like pulling teeth just to get out the simplest of information out of him. It was crazy knowing that if I wanted information, Riley would be more willing to answer my inquiries than his own brother. “If something’s wrong, can you please tell me? I don’t think it’s fair to keep me in the dark and even if I might react not so calmly, I still feel like I should know,” I articulated, making sure he understood me fully. He raised his head off of my chest and looked me dead in the eyes again.

“Why do you think I don’t tell you certain shit? Honestly too,”

“You’re trying to protect me,” That was the excuse Ryan used every time so what could possibly be the difference in Adrian?

“I’ll protect you regardless if you know something or not, baby girl,” I couldn’t help the smile that came over my face at the pet name baby girl. I’d never hear him say that to Elsa or any other female he had encountered while in my presence and although I didn’t want to look too much into it, I couldn’t help how I felt at the same time. “For the most part, it’s because I know you’ll figure it out with time. The other part is some things are better left unsaid, undone. Say if I never took you, half the shit that has happened between then and now, wouldn’t have occurred. But they did so the what ifs are irrelevant. With time, you’ll know. Just don’t rush it ‘cause as soon as you do that, everything’ll start unraveling,”

“So that means you won’t tell me shit?” I chuckled.

“Stubborn little thing, I see. But no. With it being your birthday tomorrow and all, I won’t but if it comes down to it, fine,”

“Deal,” I murmured, sitting up on my elbows. His lips were so close to touching mine before a loud and obnoxious sound resonated at the door. Groaning deeply, Adrian dropped his head and yelled who is it.

“Your lovely sister!” Justine shouted before opening the door and inviting herself in. Adrian sucked his teeth and rolled off of me while I sat up in bed, checking to make sure my hair was still fine.

“What you want?”

“Not you. I’m here for Bailey actually. You ready or do you still need to finish you two’s moment that I so happened to mess up?” she smirked, giving me one of those knowing looks.

“You can back the fuck up and wait outside,” Adrian muttered. “She’ll be out there in a minute,”

“Okay, you Grinch,” she retorted. “Five minutes!” she warned me, backing up slowly out of the room. She closed the door softly before I heard the patter of her feet decline.

“I hate when she calls me that shit,” he complained. “I be wanting to deck her, yo,”

“What? A Grinch? Now that I think about it…”

“Shut up!” I continued to laugh, although I was just playing with him. But it was actually funny seeing him get worked up because of something small like that.

“It’s okay, Nicholas,” I teased, crawling towards him. He cut his eyes at me before resting his body against the mountains of soft pillows. “Well, I only have five more minutes with you according to Justine, soo…” I grinned, wrapping my arms around his neck as he did the same with my waist.

“I don’t do quickies,” he chuckled.

“I don’t either, but it works,” I retorted. His licked his pink lips slowly before bringing my face towards his and crashing his lips on mine. My arms tightened around his necks as Adrian dominated the kiss, swiftly sliding his tongue into my parted mouth. “Adrian,” I whispered, not wanting to break apart the kiss but if I didn’t, things would certainly get out of hand.

“Later?” he grunted, pulling away from me. I nodded rapidly while trying to regulate my breathing.

“Later,”

It took us a little longer than five minutes for me to actually walk out the room and when we both did, Justine gave us that all too knowing look, again. I simply ignored it while heading towards the door with her hot on my trail. The reservations were for a little after eleven and since it wasn’t too far, we decided to walk and bask in the good summertime weather. “You like my brother, don’t you?” she asked as we continued our journey towards our destination. She’s been bugging me about Adrian for so long now that I think she knows most of the answers before I do. I’m sure she asks Adrian all the time about me and where we stand when I’m not around. Anyhow, Adrian is unique in his own way. He’s rude, blunt and a bit dangerous but he’s also warm hearted; yes, he is, caring and actually lovable. There is always two sides to a person but it just takes time for someone else to see it that way.

“Even if I said no, you would think otherwise,” I chuckled. “I like him, I do,”

“But?” she said implicitly, as if there was a but to begin with. Maybe there is.

“We could never be together,” I said bluntly. It was obvious and more than anything if that was to happen, I know at least one person who would find a problem and immediately want to put an end to whatever situationship Adrian and I have. But even before any of that happens, I doubt Adrian is looking to be in a serious committed relationship. Just off of how he treated Elsa, I can’t see that being me. There’s no point in being in a relationship if that’s how it’s going to look like.

“You sure?” she asked.

“Positive,” I nodded. “No offense to your brother and all but, look at the circumstance, I don’t see it happening,”

“Is that because of your family and friends will judge or because you personally don’t see it? If I do say so myself and it’s not because I’m biased, Adrian is actually better off with somebody like you… cliché, right?  But it’s true,”

“How?” I asked.

“Has he told you about his last girlfriend?” she questioned, fumbling with the gold chain around her neck. I shook my head no. “Well, I won’t either,” she chuckled. Now she has me curious as hell. “I think everyone needs something different and you two can do that for each other,” she said with a small smile.

“I guess,” I said indifferently, my mind already made up. “We’ll cross that bridge if it comes,” I stated, looking ahead at the Spa we would be at for the next three hours. This would be the perfect way to pamper myself before my birthday tomorrow. Justine took charge and talked to the receptionist of the establishment about our reservations before we were led in the back to change. It didn’t take more than ten minutes to do that since we both wore rompers. We had the option of having our massages outside by the water or indoors. We chose the former option, only because we didn’t want to be surrounded by other people.

A blissful sigh escaped my lips the moment I was laid down and every bit of stress in my body was slowly worked on. For the most part, Justine and I remained quiet, basking in our peaceful surrounding. With her being a mother and all, it’s rare that she gets a time like this to herself but lucky for her, she has a brother who’s willing to drop everything to make sure his nephew is straight. “Hot stones are real? What the fuck?” I exclaimed, leaning off of the cotton sheets and clutching the towel to my chest.

“Yes, sweetheart,” The masseuse smiled. Now see, I wasn’t up for that type of relaxation. “It’s not as bad as it seems. It’ll just be placed on your most tense body parts, okay?” I looked over at Justine who was trying badly not to laugh at me and seeing that she was getting the same thing done to her, I eventually gave in. With a sigh, I laid back down and bit into my bottom lip. Next thing I know, she’s going to have us walk on rocks that’re on fire. The first rock was placed on my left shoulder blade and I hissed at how hot it felt. When all six rocks were placed strategically along my back, I breathed in deeply and remained still. Supposedly, they were to stay on for at least twenty to thirty minutes. Goddamn it.

“They’re not that bad, are they?” she teased.

“They’re not… but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I feel like they’re sinking into my flesh,”

“Oh with the dramatics,” she chuckled. “Just bask in it. By the time we get back, you’d rather have that on you than to be around the boys,” she insisted.

“True,” I mumbled. “So, what’s been up with you? Though I should know already. Been talking to anybody… preferably males?” I inquired, turning my head to the side so I could see her facial expression. It was a topic I was discussing with Justine a while back but ended abruptly because of Adrian eavesdropping. I think Adrian has this mentality that absolutely nobody would be good enough for his sister because of Lonnie and albeit it might be true, there’s still a few good people around. I know that Ryan isn’t the best out of the male population but that doesn’t discourage me from finding someone better… or more so a better suit for me and actually will compliment my aura.

“I’m forever single!” she sighed. “You know it’s a problem when my mother dates more than me,” she frowned.

“But that’s the problem. You aren’t dating,” I chuckled. “Get active,”

“I don’t know right now. With me having Austin, I’m a little more cautious with dating and it’s harder to find someone,”

“It doesn’t seem that way,” I said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she said, raising up a bit.

“You and Caiden,” I said, returning the favor and teasing her back. Caiden was definitely a sight for sore eyes and I don’t blame Justine for the attraction. If I wasn’t intertwined in this lifestyle, I would probably be more so attracted to Caiden than Adrian. Caiden might have been apart of this lifestyle as well, but he was more rational than most; for example, Ryan and Adrian. I liked that, but it seemed like I attracted the opposites. “Don’t think I don’t catch you two having casual conversations,”

“Oh my God, they are casual,” she tried to defend.

“You sure ‘bout that? Caiden would tell me the opposite in a heartbeat,” I chuckled.

“Alright, alright, Caiden is amazing, and we’ve been talking on the low. It’s nothing serious right now,” she confessed, although I knew this already, I just wanted her to speak on it. Chuckling lowly, I nodded slowly with a cheesy grin. I’m not sure about everyone else but I did pick up on how close they were and how playful they were with one another. Maybe it’s nothing at the moment but that can all change.

“Remind me to make sure I have Austin one day out of the week,” I said. “You know, in case y’all wanna get a little freaky,” I chuckled.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she giggled slightly. “Thank you, just don’t tell Adrian,”

“Won’t need to worry ‘bout him,” I said. Another fifteen minutes ensued with us being quiet while examining our surroundings. The view overlooked a beautiful scenery of clear blue water. The air wasn’t polluted with the smell of cigarettes or anything resembling New York. The people were much warmer with their personality and it did make me feel comfortable and forget what’s left in New York for me to handle. The masseuses came back and removed the hot stones from off of my back one by one. I laid there for a while as I flexed my muscle blades and slowly sat up. The hot stones weren’t as nearly as bad as some make it out to be but that doesn’t mean I’ll be willing to try it again.

After our hour-long massage, we began to redress and paid for the services. Before going back to the Villa, we were going to grab something to munch on. Justine has been the only female friend I’ve had in the past three months and it was nice that I actually had someone to talk to other than the guys. There was only so much I could discuss with them before I got tired of their insensitivity or if it was the other way around.  Even before Justine, I didn’t have a lot of female friends, well more so after High School. I think it was all apart of one of my phases. I wasn’t too concerned with holding onto friendships back then and I could be held accountable for it, but my lesson is definitely learned, which is why Chance and I are so close.

“I heard their quesadillas are good,” Justine mumbled, taking a sip from her fruity drink.

“I hope it actually is,” I retorted.

“It’ll be good,” she assured. “So, your birthday is tomorrow, is there anything you want to do in particular?”

“Honestly? I have no idea,” I chuckled. “My family would do that for me, you know? They did all the planning and all I had to do was show up. But that’s not the case this time around so it’s really up in the air. Being here is a good birthday gift if that counts as something. Whatever we do has to include Austin though,”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head. I have the perfect day planned for you tomorrow. Just make sure you get a lot of rest,” I raised my eyebrow up at her but said nothing as our plates of quesadillas were placed in front of us.

Adrian

“Yo, Austin. Stay on this side of the pool. Don’t go near the edge,” I said sternly, taking a seat near the sliding door that had a table and a few chairs around it. Austin declared this morning that he wanted to go swimming and of course I complied. We were on an island that was surrounded by water. How could you not go swimming? However, his intentions were to go swimming in the ocean since there was steps that led directly to itbut I wasn’t sure on him doing that so I offered the pool in the back as the one to go swim in. Now his head is gassed and he thinks he can swim too far near the edge. The pool is not that child suitable for him to be doing all of that. Now the lil nigga thinks he’s an Olympic swimmer.

“Alright,” he said, the least bit interested in my words. I opened my mouth to say something but quickly closed it, realizing that he was having fun and I didn’t want to interrupt. With my glass of Hennessy in my hand, I trailed towards my chair and sat back down. My niggas were all huddled around the table and there were a few things I wanted to discuss with them. Although this was a vacation, to the guys, it was nothing too fancy or time for leisure. That’ll only happen when things have died down officially after some sort of altercation.

The only reason we’re not in New York is because it’s hot out there. I heard too many things before I left and coming out here was the best thing to do.

“So, what’s the plan for when we get back to the city?” Justin asked, itching to get his hand in some sort of action.

“Well, I talked to G before I left n’ shit and B’s family got detectives all over the case. Besides that, I haven’t heard much about the shit from the last time,” I started off. As concerned as I should be about the predicament I just put myself into, I really wasn’t. This isn’t anything that I’m new to and this is the type of situations I’m forced into regardless. If push comes to shove and I do actually have to serve time, as long as my nephew and sister are straight, I’m good. “So, don’t be surprised if a few of them niggas come out of the woodworks. I doubt any of us would have to worry ‘bout Ryan. That nigga is slacking and ain’t doing shit but don’t sleep on him either. However, you should keep an eye on B’s cousin, Xavier,”

“Xavier?” Brian mumbled. “He not from around here,”

“Naw, California nigga,” I said, looking over towards where Austin was at. “She knows the deal but she don’t want me coming at this nigga head either,”

“So? You made some type of deal with her?” Caiden asked.

“Not really but if he’s coming at me, I’m going to defend myself and my team. Fuck outta here,” I stated. Yeah, this is B’s cousin or whatever but at the end of the day, niggas are willing to go to the extreme and get grimy for their loved ones. “So, stay alert on that. Lonnie we need to keep an eye on,” I said, lowering my voice so Austin wouldn’t hear. Although I preferred to be honest with Austin about his flaky ass father, Justine wouldn’t approve of that. For the simple fact that Austin is her kid and whatever she decides to do with Austin is up to her entirely, I won’t infringe on that, but I will speak my mind like I do all the time. “You see, you got Dumb and Dumber with Ryan and Lonnie. If they were as smart as they could potentially be, Lonnie would have an epiphany and realize Ryan’s chick is missing and Ryan would connect this Kennedy persona to Bailey and realize I’m behind this all. Seems logical, right?” I questioned, earning nods from around the table. I paused and took a sip of my drink. “I found some shit on the USB that caught my attention but it’s not adding up, you know?” I murmured.

I was getting somewhere.

“Like what?” Caiden asked. August was present at the table as well, but he was relatively quiet. He’s usually quiet to begin with so I’m not surprised. This isn’t the type of shit he’s cut out for and he’s starting to realize it. After this shit is done with, I don’t want him having any part in this and I need Caiden to deliver that message to his younger brother. If August was my younger brother, there would be no way in hell he would be involved in something like this.

“The police report was on there and Lonnie’s version is different from Justine’s,” I said, noting the first thing that really caught my attention.

“From the night Austin was kidnapped?” Brian asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Knowing that Lonnie won’t be of any use to us, I came up with a different plan that’ll save us from some shit,” I revealed. This is probably the most spontaneous I have ever been with plans and majority of the time, they’re well thought out with weeks of preparation and planning. Bailey being included in the mix was never the original plan and seeing as that it hasn’t been the best well thought out idea, what I came up with next in my opinion has no choice but to work. It’s just about how receptive Bailey will be about it. For the next twenty minutes, I went on to explain my idea and plan and of course I got many confused facial expressions and questions that led me to believe they were doubtful. “Look, it’s either y’all backing me up on this shit or not. Y’all my bros and shit but I don’t need y’all to validate anything I do. Support would be dope but if not, my mind is made up,” I grumbled.

I’ve been trying to dead this shit for the longest time and find some sort of closure within me about this very situation. I have a guilty conscious. Maybe if I was around more often and kept an eye on shit, what Austin endured wouldn’t happen and months later, I wouldn’t have to risk someone else’s life to get the job done. Pushing the chair back, I stood up and grabbed the towel for Austin to dry off with. “Aye, come inside, lil man. We finna order something to eat,” I said which automatically caught his attention.

“Fries and a burger?” he asked, grabbing the towel out my hand.

“Why not? You need a beer along with that too?” I chuckled, encouraging him to walk in front of me.

“For real?” he said excitedly.

“Not at all. I’m fucking with you,” I laughed. “Go change,”

He sucked his teeth lowly and ran back inside the Villa. Before I had the chance to follow suit, my name was being called causing me to come to an abrupt halt. “We had your back regardless, A. that wasn’t going to change,” Justin mumbled, standing tall and meeting me halfway. He held his hand out for a dap which I returned as a grin broke out on my face. One by one, they all got up to give me a dap and a brotherly hug.

“I knew all y’all niggas would have my back anyhow,” I chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah,” They dismissed.

“But aye, August. Let me talk to you real quick,” I said.

“Wassup?”

“Look, with the new change of plans, I need you to be blunt and confront B on what happened that night. I wasn’t there, I don’t know shit about it and I don’t care. But it’s up to you to be honest with her ‘cause she gon’ end up finding out rather quick,” I expressed, crossing my arms over my chest. The expression on his face was pretty calm but I knew better than that.

“I’ll tell her before we leave,” he mumbled, pulling his black shades up on his face.

“I’m holding you to it,” I stressed sternly, walking back inside the Villa.

“A’ight,” I don’t know how truthful August was being, but I was hoping he would fall in line and do what needs to be done. I trailed towards Austin’s room and sat at the edge of his bed, helping him tie his Air Jordan 5 shoelaces.

“Bailey’s birthday is tomorrow?” Austin spoke up.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Why?”

“Did you get her a birthday gift?” he questioned, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Naw,” I shook my head. “Was I supposed to?” I questioned, placing his foot back down the floor.

He nodded his head quickly. “You bought mommy a birthday gift. You have to do the same for Bailey. I want to buy her something! I would draw but that’s a cheap gift,” he muttered causing me to laugh. I looked at the digital clock on the wall and took note of it being a little after three and the girls had yet to return. I wasn’t planning on buying anything for Bailey, but Austin seemed genuinely interested in doing so.

“Let’s eat first and then we’ll look around, okay?” I sighed.

“Deal,”

Bailey

When Justine and I came back home, the Villa was dead quiet. All lights were turned off which automatically gave away the fact that the boys had went out. I quietly made my way towards the back and into my room. After we ate, we decided to do a little more shopping. I was able to pick out an outfit for my birthday tomorrow, although Justine didn’t tell me what she had planned, I had a hunch a typical dinner would be involved in the mix somehow because I did overhear her talking on the phone, assuming she was talking to Adrian maybe. Placing the dress I bought for tomorrow on a hanger, I walked back out the room and began to unpack what was in some of the bags so I wouldn’t have to do it later. “Hey, Adrian just called. The boys should be back in thirty minutes or so,” Justine said, poking her head inside of the room. I nodded and dived into the big King size bed with a sigh.

“You okay?” she asked. “Something must be wrong,” Her face filled with concern. With the way Justine acts and how concerned she is about the littlest things, it’s evident and clear as to why she would want Lonnie around, but the only problem is her not realizing how much of a threat he actually is. I had to force myself not to speak up on what happened just a day ago with her ex, but Adrian advised me not to do that. If I do, she’d ask why I was with him in the first place and then I’d have to explain, and it’ll just end up being a mess I want to avoid until this trip is over.

“Why do you say that?” I asked, refusing to answer her inquiry.

“Your face. One minute you could be totally fine and the next, your whole mood drops,” she explained.

“Oh,” I mumbled. “My mind is in constant motion. Just thinking,” I shrugged.

“You wanna go home, don’t you?” she said. I bit my bottom lip and allowed a frustrated huff to pass my lips. I would be a liar if I said a part of me didn’t want to stay. But, I wouldn’t be telling the truth if I said I didn’t want to go home either. I was conflicted and it didn’t help that no matter what I chose, I would be fucked some sort of way. Without a doubt, I know my dad is aware and he’s either fuming with anger or… well, there is no or. He’s mad.

“I would but I don’t want to deal with the aftermath,” I said truthfully. I knew that as soon as I was thrown back home, I would be engulfed in a whirlwind of questions and everyone will feel the need to baby me or make sure there is extra protection around me. However, the one person I’m not excited to seeing or hearing from, oddly enough, would be my father. My dad is the least bit passive and will let you know in a heartbeat if he isn’t feeling something. Just because I’m his daughter does not mean he will possibly go easy on me. No matter what age I am, that wouldn’t matter to him because he’ll still get on my case like I’m eight.

“I’m so sorry,” she frowned.

“It’s okay,” I murmured, wishing I hadn’t spoken at all. Now, I had tears streaming down my face and I hadn’t bothered to remove it at all.

“Oh my gosh,” Justine panicked, quickly rushing to get a tissue for me. Before I had a chance to react and grab the tissue from Justine’s hand, Adrian was barging through the door. He stopped abruptly and stared between us, mystified.

“What happened?” he frowned.

“Nothing,” I spoke up before Justine could. That only caused Adrian to look at me with more intensity as he saw right through my lie. I turned to look away and rushed off towards the bathroom. I don’t know why I was crying, and I don’t know why I was letting my tears get the best of me. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and continued to sob, despite my efforts to stop. I felt like I’d be doing a lot of crying in the upcoming days, to be honest. Letting out a frustrated groan, I stood up and went to look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were a bit puffy but weren’t as red as I thought they’d be. Adrian’s arms trickled around my waist, pulling me back towards him.

“You good?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” I mumbled. “I’m just a little emotional,” I said, turning around in his grasp.

“I know. I see it in your face which is why I don’t want to tell you shit,” he grumbled.

“That doesn’t make me feel good,” I confessed, burying my face in his chest.

“I know what will,” he smirked mischievously.

_

(TPP)

Adrian and Bailey’s lips were locked together tightly as their hands roamed over one another’s body eagerly. They wasted no time attacking each other with their pent up frustration and it showed with how they were reacting towards one another. Bailey moaned into the kiss as his hands gripped her ass. They had moved from the bathroom with ease, over towards the bed. Bailey was straddling Adrian’s lap and grinded into his growing erection, all while managing to keep their swollen lips locked. “Take this shit off,” he groaned, referring to her romper.

“Take it off me,” Bailey said seductively, crawling off his lap and onto the bed.

“Don’t gotta tell me twice,” he said, hovering on top of her. His hand found the zipper on the size of her romper and zipped it down in a hurried fashion. Bailey slid out of the soft material with ease and now laid under him in a matching lace bra and panty set. Now that Bailey was halfway undressed, it was time for Adrian to be the same way. Bailey leaned up and tugged on the bottom of his grey shirt, wanting it off immediately. Once the shirt was dropped on the floor, Bailey gently grazed her acrylic nails against his chest before lowering them towards the hem of his shorts. His lips connected with the side of her neck, sucking roughly on her flesh while one of his hand trickled down her bare thigh towards her love. Bailey gasped, feeling him push the material of her panty to the side and pump one of his fingers inside of her moist center.

There was no way Adrian was going to allow for Bailey to get it easy right now. He was going to do things his way and she would have to take it. Bailey and Adrian’s eyes connected and an intense stare between the two ensued; Bailey finding herself unable to look away for just a split second, which was rare for her. As much she wanted to, she didn’t and she found herself becoming turned on by the intense eye contact while Adrian continued to pump his fingers in and out of her wetness. Removing his finger from her opening, he stared at the stickiness that now covered his finger and brought it towards Bailey’s mouth to lick off.

Her lips wrapped around his finger, slowly sucking off the juices. That action alone had Adrian mind wandering off into different directions and most importantly, different positions. Fuck, he thought. Bailey smirked, knowing that she got him there. In the blink of an eye, Adrian had torn her expensive lingerie off her body and left her completely exposed for only his eyes to see. Bailey tucked her bottom lip in her mouth, noticing the apparent boner in Adrian’s POLO boxers. Bailey took the initiative to tug down his boxers, revealing his harden dick. Bailey fell back on the bed, spreading her legs just a tad bit.

She was anticipating having him in the worst way. Adrian saw no point in foreplay since Bailey was wet already and Adrian’s dick was too hard to be patient. At the end of the day, she’ll get hers and he’ll get his. “Spread ‘em wide,” Adrian said huskily. It was then that he realized that his condoms were in his suitcase, but he didn’t feel the urge to stop and get them. I’ll just pull out, he thought to himself. The last thing he needed was a kid of his own and the one thing Bailey didn’t need to get caught up in was having a child with her ‘kidnapper’ as well. “You mind if I fuck you raw?” Adrian asked, wrapping B’s leg around him.

Bailey was conscious enough to know what was coming out of his mouth but too lost in ecstasy as Adrian rubbed the tip of his dick against her slit. At this point, she would agree to anything as long as Adrian fucked her good. Without much of a warning, Adrian pushed into her, causing her back to arch instantly and expletives to flee from her mouth one after the other. Adrian smirked, giving her long and hard strokes to her center. Bailey’s nails clawed at his skin as she tried to find his rhythm, so she could do the same thing back with just as much force. Eventually Bailey caught his pace and began to slowly grind her hips on him. “Fuck, Adrian,” she moaned, grasping a chunk of the sheets in her hand. Adrian decided to use his hands and push down on her lower stomach while he continued with the fast momentum of his strokes, making sure to hit all of her spots.

Bailey knew exactly what he was doing but she allowed for him to have her in the way he wanted. She was loving every bit of it and especially the fact that Adrian was just the right amount of rough. They weren’t making love, but they weren’t just fucking either. They shared a conscious connection with one another and although they didn’t speak on it much, they both understood it whether or not they wanted to admit it to one another. Adrian grabbed ahold of Bailey’s legs and pinned it against her chest, giving him more leverage to stroke her the way he desired.

“Shit,” Adrian grunted, feeling her walls contract around him. Bailey saw it all in his face and smirked.

Bailey pushed him back a bit and he caught the hint, still pumping in her but staring at her with a confused expression. A thin layer of sweat coated both of their skins’ and it would only get worse with the way these two were going at it. Getting just the right amount of energy, Bailey and Adrian changed positions and Bailey was now on top of him, slowly bucking her hips back and forth. Her hands rested on his chest as she used all her energy to turn him into her bitch. The look of pleasure was all over each of their faces and in a short while, they both would be pleased and satisfied as soon as they came.

Adrian grabbed Bailey’s neck, bringing her lips towards his. Their kisses were nothing short of aggressive and urgent as Bailey tugged on Adrian’s lip while managing to keep her pace up. She was on the brink of an orgasm and with the way she would grow progressively faster, showed just how much she wanted her orgasm to arrive. Adrian began to thrust upwards into her suddenly causing her to yelp out in loud moan. Her head titled backwards, and a slight O formed on her lips as she continued to move her body against Adrian’s powerful strokes. “Adriannnn!” Bailey moaned, loud enough for anyone in close proximity to hear.

Adrian slipped his hands between their two conjoined bodies and began to rub at her clit fast. That feeling in the pit of her stomach became more blatant and before Bailey could process anything, she had reached her climax; releasing all over Adrian. Now that Bailey got hers, Adrian was about to get his. “Goddamn,” Adrian groaned, bussing right after her. Both of them were breathing heavily, attempting to catch their breaths. Bailey felt weak as hell as she laid upon Adrian’s sweaty chest, letting what just happened between the two sink into her mind as well as Adrian’s. What the two of them didn’t realize in that moment was that Adrian didn’t pull out. Typical, huh?

Bailey knew something like this would happen but hoped that it wouldn’t but it did. Now, she would really have to take the pill. It took at least five minutes for them to regain their composure. Bailey sighed blissfully, placing a kiss on Adrian’s full lips after. Neither of the two had the energy to move and if they could, they would stay like this forever. “I need to take the pill,” Bailey said, exhausted to say that sentence alone.

Adrian’s eyebrows meshed together but he quickly found out why. “Alright,” he mumbled, tracing his hands down Bailey’s back towards her ass, cupping it roughly in his hands. “But before that, let’s take it to the shower for a minute,” he said, to which Bailey gladly obliged with. She had run out of energy but that didn’t mean she couldn’t go another round.

Bailey

For once, I was at peace.

No, it didn’t take sex for that to happen but it was a great release, literally.

After the amazing rounds of sex, I had got redressed into something more comfortable and made my way inside of Justine’s bedroom, asking her if she had any pills on her. Of course she embarrassed me about what she supposedly heard but I waved her off and limped back into the confines of Adrian and I’s bedroom, quickly swallowing the pill with the water Adrian got for me. Now we laid tangled up in the sheets, spilling the first thing that came to mind. Some of the things were random and other things actually held weight. Either way, we were content with talking about just about anything at this point. “I think I want another tattoo,” I confessed, staring straight ahead, towards the beautiful view of outside.

“Yeah? Like what and where?” Adrian asked, snaking his arms’ around my waist tighter. I smiled at the small gesture. He truly didn’t know much it meant to me. It definitely gave me that security that I lacked around Ryan and especially with my father being out of the picture for so long.

“I want angel wings… like what Caiden has but way smaller,” I said. “My mother and sister have them,” The only tattoo my mother would ever cosign for my younger sister. “And I want to do mine because I never got the chance to do so,” I knew Adrian already figured out why I wasn’t able to get mine but decided against speaking on it for both of our benefits. “And, I want it on my other wrist since this one already has something,” I said, holding out both of my wrist for him to see.

“We can make that happen, baby girl,” he said, closing his eyes a bit. My birthday was less than three hours away and with the way Adrian was talking, it seemed like he was willing to give me the moon and the stars. I ran my fingers along his neck gingerly, seeing that it put him at ease. “I got something I wanna tell you though,” he murmured into my exposed skin. I remained quiet, not saying anything and waiting for him to spill whatever was on his mind. “I want you to go back home,” His words’ made me tense as the movements of my fingers along his neck came to a sudden halt. Those were words I probably would have never heard him say but here we were, and those words indeed fell past his lips.

If this was two or three months ago, I would be jumping for joy to be able to finally leave. But my feelings towards Adrian, Justine, Austin and the boys have all changed. I no longer feel an ounce of resentment to them and I can sympathize with them. Going home would be me being thrown in the swing of things that I was currently unaware of. I missed out on a lot and I feel like I would only just stick out rather than being accepted with open arms. Of course, I want to see my family and friends but I don’t want to deal with the backlash that comes with it, if you know what I mean.

“What?” I mumbled. I heard correctly but I couldn’t believe it.

“I want you to go home after this trip is over,”

“Why?” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Adrian sighed, refusing to look my way out of the numerous times we’ve had a conversation.

“I think it’s for the best,” he stated.

“And then what?!” I found myself growing frustrated within a few seconds.

“Aye, chill with all that shit, alright? Just listen to me,” he said. The way he was acting was way too nonchalant and carefree about this as if what he was about to do wouldn’t affect either of us.

“Look at me then,” I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest.

His head popped up and he stared at me through thin slits before quickly uncrossing my arms and holding them down at my sides. “Stop acting so defensive,” he gritted. “Hear me out or you won’t get any dick from me,” he said, purposely making me laugh at the grin on his face.

“I’m not even laughing because it’s not funny right now!” I said.

“Calm the fuck down, baby,” he said huskily, tucking his head in the corner of my neck. I knew what he was doing, and I wanted to stop that because there was no way he was going to evade this type of information from me.

“I’m listening,” I insisted, pinching his neck. His skin around the area pinched immediately turned a light shade of red.

“What the fuck!?” he roared.

“You’re lucky I didn’t bite your neck,” I said. “Now, tell me why I’m leaving?” I said bitterly.

“Look, you might not understand after I explain why, you just might or you don’t want to. But, with everything that’s been happening recently, I know when to step back and I know when to put you back in the line of safety. I can handle things from here on out, trust. However, there is one tiny thing I have in mind and it’s totally up to you,” he said, waiting for me to acknowledge that I heard him but instead, it was returned with a blank face as I waited for him to elaborate before I spoke up. With a sigh, he said, “You know how Ryan is supposedly looking for you?” I gave off an indifferent shrug. Sure he was. “Well, let’s play him at his own game. Only difference, no one gets hurt in this scenario unless I have a change of heart,”

“What do you mean play him at his own game?” I inquired, my eyebrows furrowing together. If this was a revenge for revenge type of situation, I’m not too sure on this.

“He has this idea in his head that he’s closer to you than what he actually is. Let’s act like he is and essentially, make it easy on him. Give him what he wants and make it seem like his job is done but realistically, it’s just beginning. I’ll play the part and act like I’m surrendering, you feel? I’m still determined to find out what happened because it’s not sitting well with me and I have this sort of-“

“Guilty conscience?” I said, cutting him off. He cut his eyes at me again before slowly nodding. “Hm, that’s your superego speaking,”

“Is this ‘bout to turn into a paid session?” he asked sarcastically.

“Only if you want it to,” I said, kissing his lips.

“Naw, you do enough with picking my mind even when I don’t ask for it,” he grumbled. “But back to the focus, girl. So, is you down or what?”

“What exactly would I be doing now?” I questioned. “How would this work?”

“Take it like this, you’re free. You’re free to do as you please and leave the house to go back to your real life. Work with your ex Ryan and basically act like a con artist against him. Butter him up to get information that I need because at the end of the day, trust, he’ll say whatever the fuck you want him to tell you, especially knowing your predicament. This is the only plan where I can get immediate answers ‘cause Ryan not tryna talk to me and I’m going to leave Lonnie alone for a bit,”

“And then I tell you what he said?” He nodded. “I don’t know…” I trailed off. Although I would be happy to be home, the last person I’m willing to have any sort of acknowledgment with is Ryan. I don’t want to look at him, talk to him or even breathe the same air. I don’t hate him, but I don’t like him either and there has definitely been a distaste for him on my part. “Like what if he expects more than what I’m willing to give? How will my family respond if they know I’m helping you? Adriannnn!” I whined. “I don’t want to go,” His eyebrows rose at my true statement. I was conflicted; I don’t know what to do. “What happened to me staying if I chose to?”

“It’s still valid. Why would you want to stay though… out of all people with me?” he laughed lightly.

“I just… I’m not too sure right now,” I mumbled. I needed to think about this some more. Bottom line, Adrian wanted me to ‘work’ with Ryan to get immediate answers since Lonnie was out of the picture. If I was going to essentially play Ryan at his own game, I would actually have to play the part to fool Ryan. I don’t think Ryan’s dumb or maybe he is but running back into his arms’ all of a sudden seems like playing with fire. Not knowing if Ryan intentions are honest, I don’t know how safe I would be near him or if my mother would even allow that to happen.

“You trust me?” Adrian said, breaking me out of my thoughts. The last time I said I didn’t, he made me kill someone. But as far as knowing his intentions, it’s way better than what Ryan could possibly offer.

Willingly, I mumbled a low, “Yes,”

“What was that? I don’t think I heard correctly?” he said, hovering on top of me again, resting his weight on his knuckles.

“I do but you be putting me in risky ass situations,” I blurted.

“Not anymore, alright?” he promised.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” I huffed, locking my arms around his neck tightly. “That means I have to live with him?”

“Stay in my condo in Tribeca; I’ll be there if you want me to,”

I smiled lightly. “You’re cute,”

“Oh, now I’m cute? ‘Bout a month ago you were speaking a different language,”

“’Cause, you started to actually show me what you’re about,” I chuckled. He stared at me longingly, a genuine smile plastered on his face. It was without a doubt true that everyone had two sides and Adrian was no exception. His genuine side overweighs everything negative about him. That might be a bold statement but it’s exactly how I feel. Although I don’t like to compare Adrian to Ryan, there was obvious traits about the two that were different and what stood out exactly is how genuine Adrian is. Let’s be clear, Adrian doesn’t speak on his feelings but rather, he shows them which speaks way more than he ever will. Ryan on the other hand, spoke with his words but his words weren’t enough for me, I needed more, and he couldn’t give that to me. I’m not even officially with Adrian but yet, he’s done way more, at least in my opinion.

“I’m glad you see that,” he said. “I do care about you, oddly enough,” A grin broke out on my face. “But I don’t want to hurt you because I’m already doing that,” And it’s sad because I know that already.

Things were gearing up to change pretty quickly.

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 5)

whhooooooo there’s still so much left, but I’ve come so far?? I’M !! THERE IS SO! MUCH! HAPPENING! IN ! THIS! BOOK!

Part 5 encompasses pages 326-394 (previous parts)

INTERLUDES 1

fucking. Venli? really? I don’t want to be in her head. I don’t want to know.

anyway! NEW PEOPLE FIRST:

“Puuli the lighthouse keeper” I LOVE THEM ALREADY

“Kelek himself had broken apart the land in the middle of a storm” I...Kelek? really? are you sure? Aren’t most of the Heralds busy being...not here?

Listen, Alyx told me that we’d seen all ten Heralds somewhere over the course of the series so far, and armed with this knowledge I have squinted at every single new character like “are YOU a crazy person who is sort of a god? are YOU a crazy person who is sort of a god?”

I’m pretty sure none of them have been crazy people who are sort of gods.

But I’m keeping my eyes peeled anyway.

I RELATE TO THIS ARDENT LADY BECAUSE I, TOO, WOULD LIKE TO BE LEFT ALONE IN PEACE AND QUIET AND VERY VERY LONELY SOLITUDE TO READ MY SMUT FIC.

“What was that you’re studying?” “Important works.” Obviously. Trashy romance novels are the HEIGHT of important works.

ROSHARN LINGUISTICS IS REALLY COOL.

it’s a trashy romance novel; of COURSE there’s a sequel.

tbqh, Venli, I’m not sure what you expected. “You should be taking orders from me.” Uh huh. Sure. You summoned a hatesprean that your people literally went dullform to escape, and you didn’t think you were going to be ordered around by it?

YOU KNEW YOUR GODS WERE EVIL WHY DID YOU THINK THAT SUMMONING THEM WOULD SAVE YOUR PEOPLE

nooooo

Eshonai please. don’t be dead. you’re the best of them, just...don’t

aaahhh

wow, that’s. a lot of information okay. um. Spren of redemption? yeah, I’ll believe that when never. The parshendi ANCESTORS? are in charge?? in charge of what? the spren? the voidbringers? the changes? the storm?

also Venli is KIND OF AN ASSHOLE and I mean, we knew this already but this kind of power-hungry selfishness is. really unfortunate in a person.

ooh. different spren? save Esh please? maybe? I LIVE IN HOPE.

PART TWO

what

BRIDGE FOUR gets a pov?!!!!!!??! MY BOYS!!!??!?!?!? AAHH

BHAHAHAHA I ALWAYS FORGET HOID’S REAL NAME IS A STUPIDLY RIDICULOUS STAR WARS NAME I Love it

how come we don’t get Navani’s reaction to her daughter just magically appearing back from the dead

I want the Navani-Jasnah reuinion scene. I’ve been robbed of good mother-daughter content.

“Storms. She was perfect.” Every. time. I love it. I love how super bi Shallan is and how desperately in love she is with two very different Kholins. What a good.

god bless Jasnah “Every Moment is a Teaching Moment if You Try Hard Enough” Kholin

you know, I’m also been robbed of Jasnah and Hoid’s Road Trip Adventure. I’m sad.

omg it’s so weird for Jasnah to be the one who’s a step behind.

AAHH JOINT VISION TIME YO this’ll be fun

oooohh the Stormfather does care. he has an imagination and everything.

bahahaaha Dalinar. How many times has he witnessed all these visions and he’s still a doofus when it comes to fitting into them.

OOOHH SUMMONING ARMOR THAT’S COOL!! Can they do that nowadays?? 

“they moved on all sixes” like yeeeeppp right, most stuff on roshar has six legs but that’s a wild variation on all-fours and suuuper jarring for a sec

hi, yeah, I love Fen a lot. petition to keep her.

also her assuming that Dalinar was working with the Voidbringers: not unreasonable considering the last few months of him possibly going crazy or not. like...she’s got reasons to be suspicious.

OMG THE ART FOR THE HEADER FOR BRIDGE FOUR AAAAAHHHHHH

SIGZIIIIILLLLL omg. Having panic dreams about messing up tests. I love him???

he’s SO OFFENDED THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO QUEUE I LOVE IT

hold on I’m changing my queue tag to “I’m Azish, I know how to queue”

BLESS. AFRO!SIGZIL

LOPEN EATING BREAKFAST ON THE CEILING WHAT A NERD

I HAVE MISSED THESE ROWDY BOYS

“Where was Teft? They actually listened when he gave orders.” MY BOYS ARE DUMB NERDS AND I LOVE THEM

what’s the “other thing”? Where does Teft disappear to? what is happen. why does Kaladin not know about it, but Sig does?

dear. god. I’m.

of course he does morning push ups. without his jacket on.

I’m

hhhnnnnngggggggggg

#priorities

I LOVE MY DUMB BOYS

LOOK AT THEM ALL GETTING MARRIED AND COURTING AND GETTING LUNCHES DROPPED OFF BY THEIR WIVES AND LOOK AT THEM BEING REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL LIVES AND I’M SO PROUD OF THEM THEY’VE COME SO FAR I LOVE THEM

also I adore that the only "problem” about Drehey being gay is that Sig thinks he’s gotta fill out forms, and that the indication is that in Azir, the forms go both ways. That’s. so refreshing and lovely and. Good job, Brandon! I’m so. this is A Good.

“Master Hoid” is a fucking hilarious juxtaposition of terms.

Kaladin’s desperate insistence that they won’t lose any more people is endearing and also terrifying because you just know someone is going to die and he’s going to be so upset and I’m going to have to drive back to Utah to yell at Brandon personally for making my boy suffer.

Can Lyn join Bridge Four? If we’re recruiting, can we recruit her?

BLESS. TWO SENTENCES LATER “How would you like to join the Windrunners.” GOOD YES EXCELLENT

me, anytime they even mention Moash: *long keening noises of despair and pain* 

Kaladin didn’t teeeeellll theeeemmmmmm he didn’t tell them what Moash did he didn’t tell them Moash hecked up and betrayed them he didn’t want then to be mad or to hate Moash I’M UPSET NOISES FOREVER

ohhhh my god.

Kaladin. Please.

Using the royal treasury’s emerald grain reserve to practice Radianting is DELIGHTFUL and HILARIOUS and also TERRIFYING OMG I LOVE IT THAT’S PERFECT

God, I love these boys.

Evi calls Dalinar “beloved” and I’m emotional

He doesn’t deserve her.

oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

He didn’t kill the kid.

He didn’t--I... I doubted him. I thought--so caught up in the Thrill, I just ASSUMED, BUT here were the seeds. The idea that the Blackthorn wasn’t quite as horrible as he could have been. Which makes the changes later so much more plausible.

god, she’s so proud of him. I love her?

Gavilar can fuck right off, tbh, oh my god.

YAASSS, ROCK POV OMG

LUNAMOR

THAT’S SO PRETTY

“I want everyone on this plateau glowing like they swallowed a lantern.” that there’s a decent David Charleston metaphor.

WHERE! IS! TEFT! I’m so worried about him.

I love that they salute Dabbid.

I love them.

I love Bridge Four. I’m not sure if you guys know this about me.

LOPEN PLEASE. “Did you stick yourself to the ground?” “All part of the plan, gon.” IS IT THO, DARLING?

KALADIN TRYING TO TEACH HOBBER TO BREATHE IN STORMLIGHT SO HE CAN HEAL HIS LEGS IS SO GOOD KALADIN IS SO GOOD I’M

crying

“I now have to either promote him or push him off the side of the plateau.” “Promote him? to what?” “Airsick lowlander. Second class.”

HELLO, FRONDS, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU ARE AWARE, BUT I! LOVE! BRIDGE! FOUR! SO! MUCH!

I...they saved the bridge.

I love that Rock bows to and respects even the spren he can’t see. Also I get the feeling that no one really ever sees Glys, except Renarin. Which makes...sense, in a weird way? I guess...’cause they are both so quiet and reserved. Or we assume Glys shares that with Renarin. It seems right though, if that’s true.

Also, Rock making work for Renarin, just so he can be included, which is all he wants is A Good. Rock is an extremely observant fellow, once he puts his mind to it, isn’t he?

Rock is really, really good at making people feel better. And he knows exactly what people need. Skar is a teacher, so he gives him the opportunity to teach. Renarin needs a confidence boost, so he tells him not to see himself as a flaw, but as a person. Rlain needs company, so he sends Renarin to him. He’s very good at manipulating people into making themselves feel better. It’s really delightful.

HOBBER!!!! HOBBER GOT IT!!! THEY’RE ALL JUST GIVING HIM THEIR GEMS THEY DON’T EVEN HESITATE THEY’rE JUST

I’M CRYING I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY ARE ALL SO DAMN GOOD

you know what, fuck Sadeas.

OH MY GOSH

OOOOOHHH

ROCK’S FAMILY!!!!! IS HERE!!! THERE’S KIDDOS!!!!!! I’M!!!!! OH MY GOSH

HER NAME IS SONG AND THEY ARE CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS AND I’M CRYING AGAIN

they are SO GOOD. honoring their bridge for its last run. the last one. That’s...almost incomprehensible, but YEAH! They fly now! what do they need a bridge for! (a bridge four. hah) But the still...they honor it. It saved their lives. It was all they had. Of course it gets one last run.

aahh, I love Bridge Four so, so much.

#op #Megan reads OB #Oathbringer spoilers #to make up for all the longass posts here have a slightly shorter one #mostly this is 'cause I found a decent place to stop and go to sleep #and I didn't want to leave a post in my drafts 'cause that goes against the spirit of liveblogging haha #Stormlight Archive #Oathbringer #Brandon Sanderson

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E2 (Showmance)

Mama Mia, here I go again!

Please don’t tell me this GROWN MAN had his license plate changed to “GLEE” to reflect the high school club he runs. PLEASE.

Rachel brings a whole-ass SUITCASE to school? I know she’s extra by nature but PLEASE.

Finn just Doesn’t Know What Things Are! I adore him. 

You’re really just going to walk by Kurt hanging out by the dumpster with a bunch of dudes who harass him in the hallways? AGAIN? Nice one.

“One day, you will all work for me” I doubt these guys are going to be working up the ranks at Vogue.com, Kurt, but I rate the energy.

Emma you’re better than this dude. Run. Run as fast as your hollow bird pelvis will let you.

SANTANA’S FIRST LINE!!! You’re right, they should get a room. 

For all the creepy obsessing Will’s done so far over the glee kids, you’d think HE would be the one to notice how they don’t have enough members to qualify

Sue points out a bunch of special ed classes, and yet I’m pretty sure she says McKinley has no real support available for special needs students later on? They must be whack classes

These people are really acting like all Will does is coach the glee kids even though he’s literally a Spanish teacher

Early Quinn may be incredibly mean, but like, I’d say thanks if she killed me 

Rachel really has a whole spare outfit ready to change in to post-slushying? I guess that makes sense if it happens that regularly

Cory Monteith REALLY couldn’t dance and we love him for it

Disco didn’t suck until Mr Schue got his grubby little mitts on it

I almost forgot about Kurt’s selection of hats. What is this one? A fez? It’s fez shaped

Why is Kurt so sure they’ll throw fruit specifically? Is that McKinley asshole custom?

Terri’s actress, once again nailing the act of making me want to throttle her

Kendra also nails that.

A “used” house oh my god

THIS ARGUMENT BETWEEN KURT AND MERCEDES IS GOLDEN. “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You loo like a technicolor zebra.” They REALLY match. God I hope they ad-libbed that.

It’s the first rap of the show, folks. 

I hate Mr Schue doing Kanye, I really do, but imagine Finn doing it instead like he planned. Better? Worse? I can’t even tell anymore. 

The LOOK Kurt gives Mercedes when she starts belting out the Jamie Foxx part... Don’t be jealous hon you’ll get your bars. For real though his face is hilarious, he looks like he’s worried she’s about to burst a blood vessel with all that TALENT

Sign #5 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Get your hands OFF of Kurt Will Schuester he doesn’t want to dance! Tbh though I love season 1 Kurt during the group numbers because he just always looks SO done.

Mr Schue’s also wearing a T-shirt that says “DITCH PLANS” on it. Please DITCH the state instead?

KEVIN MCHALE IS THE UNSUNG VOCAL HERO OF THIS WHOLE SHOW AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYBODY FORGET IT

Watching them all sing in a goofy, candid way is honestly healing. 

KURT’S DOING THE SINGLE LADIES RING-HAND MOVE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS BOY REALLY LOVES HIS BEY. Me too Kurt me too

They straight up gave Rachel no gag reflex and had her guidance counsellor make a joke about it? Ok RIB

“Have you ever liked somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?” Same girl, same

AAAaaaAAALllLlLLLLLlll BYYYYY MYYY SEEEEeeeEEEEEEEELFFFF.........bY mYsEeElF i’M bY mYsElF

Ok I like Emma but she sometimes kinda sucks at her job

“He doesn’t even notice me” Rachel, hon, he’s probably already warned his neighbours about you

“Gay parents encourage rebellion” PICK A SIDE, SUE! I really can’t keep up with the convenient flip-flopping of her bigotry. And with Jean, you’d think she’d go off on Rachel for calling people “chromosonally-challenged”

Finn, of course you know who Justin Timberlake is... That’s Mr Schue’s hotter, less evil twin!

I love how they have to label Robin Thicke on the poster - you know, because of how awful and irrelevant he was even then?

Half the janitors are just gone. How has this school not been closed down already?

Sign #6 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Mr Schue: I want to build a club where people can express themselves musically Literally every single member: Hello Mr Schue, I’m here to express how much I dislike the music you’re making us perform. Mr Schue: Never talk to me or my fake-unborn-son ever again

Humble, modest Finn going d’aww shucks and telling Rachel to stop complimenting him is adorable. I love him!!!

How could I forget the celibacy club... I almost feel bad for Quinn, he’ like the only person there who genuinely cares about being celibate. I don’t buy that anybody’s convinced that Puck’s a virgin...

The fact that Finn thought joining the celibacy club would get him laid is just... Yeah. It suits him. 

Jacob Ben Israel you will die by my hand you slimy, unforgivable bastard. NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO GET YOUR DINGER WET, SCUMBAG! Short skirts are not an entitlement!!!

I still don’t know what Puck means when he says “Those skirts are crunchy toast” and I don’t think I want to know.

OH GOD T H E M A I L M A N . . .

Finn Hudson has canonically nearly killed a man and I don’t think anybody talks about that enough.

I beg all of you to look up this scene and listen to the way Finn goes “Ahahaha... Driving’s fun...” Like it just brings me so much joy. What a doofus. 

Carole’s first instinct is to yell “OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HIM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Calm down queen he’s gon be fine

Quinn really hates contraception, huh!

I know your wife is a shit, Mr Schue, but it’s fucking reprehensible to lead on another woman. It’s clearly intentional at this point I’m sorry, you don’t put chalk dust on somebody’s nose like that platonically!

Rachel: We’re going to give them what they want! Kurt: Blood? God I love him

I do love the running gag of Figgins wildly overestimating the excitement for the assemblies tbh

This school doesn’t have working toilets but, hey, on the bright side, all you have to do to get expelled is shit yourself!

“Yay, Glee! Glee kids hooray!” Emma just warms my cockles

Will referring to the glee club and saying “We’re on our way back” like no, old man, you’re not getting clout for this. Then again, neither are any of the students until they’ve graduated...

AHH, PUSH IT! KURT’S HIPS. LOOK AT THEM GO. HE’S SO INTO IT.

I WANT THE FACE SUE MAKES WHEN SHE SEES FIGGINS TAPPING HIS FOOT TATTOOED ON MY HEART

Finn’s face as he gets ready to start his part... He’s so nervous. Bless him...

THE PERFECT TIMING OF KURT SLAPPING HIS ASS. And then the zoom on that fucking fanny pack going crazy this scene is so fucking iconic. That fanny pack has been burned into my retinas forever. 

AND THE WAY HE WOBBLES HIS HEAD AROUND AS HE STEPS BACK. KURT! FUCKING! HUMMEL!

Oh god, now he’s crawling across the floor to Mercedes. I can’t tear my eyes away he’s GOING for it!

They really had Finn and Rachel go that hard? Honestly up until that point, the routine isn’t too overtly sexual, but now I understand why they get in trouble 

I DON’T GET HOW THEY’RE STILL LOOKED DOWN ON AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE! Nearly everybody applauds! RIB just had to have that cake and eat it too. 

I demand Will’s resignation too, Sue

Ah, the approved songs list... That they will proceed to ignore for the rest of the season post the Unholy Trinity’s audition

Sign #7 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He has NO PLACE to be mad at Rachel here. You didn’t listen to any of your students, you wouldn’t compromise, and now they’re going on a sex riot. You did this!

Ken Tanaka you cannot undermine a woman’s self esteem and convince her to settle for you as a second choice, and then complain about feeling like a second choice... WHY do they ever act like he’s a victim here?!

Finn saw that whole-ass picnic set up and didn’t think to ask about it? King. I love one (1) himbo. The way he says “You’re cool, Rachel” just fucks me up every time...

She pours him the TINIEST drink in the world? Girl the cups not even a tenth full and he’s a big boy...

The real OTP is Finn x Airplane Cups

Why does Rachel lie down for the kiss... Is it solely so Finn can have his little overflow at the mayo factory or???

THE MAILMAN SCENE HAPPENS EVERY TIME HE KA-BLAMOS OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET...

Look, Rachel, I get that it sucks that he ran away, but he literally has a girlfriend? You couldn’t have expected things to go that well...

THE UNHOLY TRINITY FORMS... I’M QUAKING

Throwback to how blatantly obvious it was that Santana and Quinn weren’t singing at all. How did they think they’d get away with that...

Brittany’s original sideswept bangs? Ugh. Giving me LIFE.

Dianna’s voice turned me gay. I’m genuinely convinced my sexuality is Quinn Fabray’s fault and I’m not even mad?

By this point we know next to nothing about Santana’s character, but the second Sue suggests sabotage, her face fucking lights up. She’s living for it already 10/10

Will you can’t make Emma tag along to all your janitorial shifts I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re married. And a jackass. 

I know Rachel went behind his back, but there’s no real reason to give Quinn the Don’t Stop Believing solo? She’s talented and incredible and I love her, sure, but it doesn’t suit her voice at all my guy, if you didn’t have biscuits for ears you’d know that...

Is this the only instance where Will takes actual responsibility for the glee club’s actions rather than blaming it all on the kids? Wow... A rare gem.

The way he says “I should never have pushed disco so hard...” All serious like... Get a fucking grip

I can believe that Rachel’s neighbours would sue her for singing all the god damn time

Rachel singing “Take A Bow” is more fitting than I realised. At first I was like, “that’s dumb, Finn doesn’t really realise what he did anyway” but it fits her character to use a song and spin it so she feels empowered by it in the end. Or at least, tries to feel that way.

So there’s episode 2! What a hot mess. We love our hot mess.

#Glee #Glee Season 1 #Rosie watches things and then says things about the thing

[allbaymusic]

Oni Montana

ABM: What is your Rap name? Tell us the story behind your hip-hop name? Oni Montana: Oni Montana and Oni The One & Only, I have two names because I have 2 personalities as a rapper. Oni Montana is my rap name, when I’m spitting real bars and talkin that shit. My uncle KT The Boss actually gave me that name around the time Future came out with “Tony Montana” So I jus ran with it. I use the Tony Montana thang in reference to the dope music I make because ima “Dope rhyme dealer” like Mac Dre use to say. While Oni The One & Only is when I’m singing and harmonizing with the auto tune on my R&P shit not R&B lol basically for the women/Bitchs because there is a difference. ABM: Has anything happened in your life that led to the decision of becoming a musician? Oni Montana: I had this same vision in my head ever since middle school that I would be a rapper. I always knew it was apart of my plan. I actually was selling and recording my own mixtapes In middle school, recording off my nighas dads turntables in a garage rappin off of instrumentals. I use to rap battle kids in the school house and I always turned heads and surprised people when I opened my mouth because growing up I was hella quiet but not when it was my turn to rap. I always knew this is what I wanted to do. But back in 2008 when my older brother died I told myself I would make it for him because he was one of my number one fans and he really believed in me when it came to music so I made a promise to myself and him that ima stick to this music no matter what. I’m determined to make it it’s Destiny for me. ABM: How did you get your start in the hip hop scene? Oni Montana: Been rappin since middle school like I said. Selling my mixtapes and hella shit at the school house burning it off the homies computer. But I got influenced at a very early age because of all the musical talent in my family. My uncles was the Booya Tribe so they one of my many inspirations and one of the true pioneers of West Coast Hip Hop and Polynesian artists. Growing up seeing them just made me believe I could do it. First real studio I went to was with my uncle R Cade and uncle H mob of Uce Duce. I use to ride around with them while they would bust they moves and pick up they CDs basically jus soaking up game about the independent rap game that was going on in the Bay Area. In high school my uncle Swann FREE UNKS by the way, use to come pick me up from my papa house in West Pittsburg and take me to SwampKats studio in Concord and I jus sit down and soak up more game. Fast forward to 2015 my cousin Stone P got released out of prison and we been pushing this Thizz Island shit ever since. Got the blessing from the cuddie and we just been rocking really tryna push this movement and put on for our people S/O my nigha Diggs by the way ABM: Where are you from, and what was it like growing up there? Oni Montana: I’m from Pittsburg California in the east bay. I’m from a small town but we not small minded. I feel like we was different from other places we have our own way we talk, how we carry ourselves, the way we dress. We was saying BRO and use to get made fun of for it now look everybody says it now lol so basically we trend setters and way ahead of our time. We jus fly and peezy and got a whole bunch of game about us. It’s a lot of crime and poverty in my city but I’m hoping to change that and bring something positive back to my city and it will all start with the music . We real family oriented everybody know each other so although it’s a lot of hate it’s a lot of love too but they say life is all about balance. One thing about my city is growing up we had a huge music scene it was litt we had the Ghetto Stars, Mob Figaz, and A-wax. I use to see signs full of stickers with my favorite rappers on it. My cousin Noah and Tau put me on all the new music so I just had a sense of pride being from Pittsburg, especially with all the dope music that came from my city. So I just knew one day I was gonna be one of them nighas when I got older. ABM: What do you typically rap about? Oni Montana: Anything that’s on my mind when I hear the beat. I make mood music, so however I feel at the time is what I’m finna rap about. I try to express myself as much as possible thru my music and I’ll hit every subject because your emotions are subject to change. So I feel I’m very versatile when it’s come to my songs because of all the different feelings, emotions, pain and happiness, all that I have endured in life is all a reflection of my music. I like to harmonize and fuck with the auto tune but I also got real life bars and I actually know how to rap like The Jacka said whatever happen to coming dope? That’s all I’m tryna do is push this dope music and bring some pride back in this rap shit. Word to the Jack. ABM: What are your last full length releases people can go check out right now? Oni Montana: I got the Oral Sex Mixtape hosted by J Diggs. The meaning behind the name of the tape is I’m basically making love to the music orally lol But than I got a tape with my cousin Quad High out the city Called “Plugged in” also I jus recently dropped a new single “No Where” produced by High Volume out of Ohio. I gotta bunch of shit coming tho so stay tuned . We really pushing this Thizz Island and #FlyUcen movement tryna put on for all the polys. ABM: What are you currently working on? Oni Montana: Workin on the Polynesian Prince Album that’s coming real soon. And after that I plan on dropping a EP with my producer High Volume. Me and my lil cousin Samoan Joe gotta project in the works, he out of Pittsburg Cali too. He dope, make sure y’all check him out. I gotta few tracks with ScottieNoPippen one of the most slept on artist out the bay but we def gon turn it up on they ass once they hear this new shit, and I got a island reggae single coming out just in time for summer with my USO Flex that thang going crazy. I ain’t gon lie so I got hella shit in the works, plus a bunch of visuals I’m finna drop. My plan is to just really stay in y’all face this year. Consistency is the key to victory they say, so I’m just tryna be consistent. ABM: Whats your last visual release people can check out, tell us about it. Oni Montana: Latest visual is a track called “No where” produced from my big bro High Volume. We filmed it in Vegas with my nigga Buck The Genius aka White Gold s/o to bro by the way. But we filmed it in Vegas basically jus showing a walk thru of my life from the liquor store to the Vegas strip to the studio. We actually shot some of the footage at a bbq for my big bra ED CAINE like a one year memorial type shit so Rest in Paradise to my bro. He was one of them guys who always told me “Oni you dope nephew, stick to that music shit” like he really would push a nigha and get on me about staying on my music shit and staying out the way. ABM: What is your ultimate goal at the end of your career? Oni Montana: I wanna be able to inspire people with my music. I want to show people that if you can dream it, you can be it. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it. I’m trying to set the foundation for all my people. Plant the seed that will grow a tree of opportunities and it will all start with the music than branch off to other things like clothing, get into movies etc Basically opening more doors for Polynesian artist in the entertainment industry. I really want to give back to the people, create jobs, build community centers, buy properties and open up businesses in our communities. I truly believe that this music shit is capable of creating all that and then some. I wanna be like No limit or Cash Money records you know? Follow the same blue print Master P had. Get on my Nipsey shit, You know? Be a mogul and not just a rapper. Feel me? Like the shit 2pac was intending to do, that’s where I know this shit will turn to, GOD willing and I won’t stop until we there. ABM: How can people reach you? Oni Montana: Oni Montana everything Soundcloud: OniMontana IG: OniMontana Snapchat: OniMontana YouTube: OniMontana Read the full article

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week thirty-seven

Complaining about songs I didn’t have to listen to, specifically the songs which debuted on the Billboard charts the week of 20 September 1997, 22 September 2007, and 23 September 2007

9.20.1997

50) "On My Own," by Peach Union

The whole song, I was thinking, "You know, this is pretty Eurotrashy, but it's not as awful as most of what I've had to endure. There's a lot of awful elements, don't get me wrong, but on the whole, I don't mind it!" And then it turned out that this group is British! That makes sense. I, an American, would of course find the music of Britain more accessible than the music from other European countries. British dance music is basically Sarah McLachlan with record scratches.

60) "Me and My Crazy World," by Lost Boyz

I was promised a fun "day in the life" song, something in the vein of "It Was a Good Day." What I got was some dude or group of dudes saying they somehow brought two dates to the same dance -- oh no! Their attempts to make it our of the night with neither girl wise to his schemes will surely make for some grand comedy! "She thought that I'm some clown nigga she can scream on and talk to/I had to run her down the line this ain't no walk through/Now who the fuck you think you talkin to chick/Your complaining's makin' me sick." YOU CHEATED ON HER, YOU AWFUL AWFUL MAN! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. THIS IS NO WAY TO THINK. Shit. I mean, shit! Just a light-hearted song, and suddenly you're tryna yell at her because you want a side piece. Absolute fuck is wrong with you.

68) "Avenues," by Refugee Camp All-Stars ft./Pras (w/Ky-mani)

Enh. I like the sample, but it's hard to imagine anything about this song sticking with me longerthan it takes to finish this sentence. Something about avenues? Yeah this is kinda nothing.

90) "The Way That You Talk," by Jagged Edge ft./Da Brat & JD

'90s R&B where the group of dudes wanna fuck me >>>>>>>>>>>> '90s R&B where dudes pledge their devotion and vow to protect me so that they can fuck me later.

9.22.2007

71) "No One," Alicia Keys

I remember being a little put off by this song, just because I had watched "You Don't Know My Name" and "If I Ain't Got You" hella times on vh1 (I used to throw vh1 and MTV on in the morning before school because that's when they played music videos) and this was so different from those songs, but listening to this song now, I'm very angry that young Bob! robbed me of at least a few months of enjoying this song. This is amazing. It's still a weird song, I have no actual musicwords to back this I just always associate Alicia Keys with "intricate piano balladry" and it's my fault for never letting that bias go, but just the way the chorus escalates each time, the way she's proclaiming every single time that her love is undying is SO GOOD. Alicia Keys, man, she's a phenomenal songwriter. I can't think of anything she's made which I find disagreeable. I even stand with "Another Way to Die."

79) "Don't Blink," Kenny Chesney

"it is sad when old so young before you're old!" ~kennald chsenald

85) "Gimme More," Britney Spears

...You're right. When I thought this week was a clinch to win, I forgot that mid-aughts Britney was the least interesting Britney. I don't have a lot of love for dance-pop Britney. Or, if I'm being real, non-"Hit Me Baby (One More Time)" Britney. I don't know why I was excited for this song. It's not good! It's as bad, if not worse, than the average '90s Eurotrash song, it just has that brand name attached that made me forget for a second it was grating and repetitive and needlessly dark and Timbalandly over-the-top. What even is that interlude with all the dude voices just going "oh" for ten seconds. The track ends with the producer saying, "The unstoppable Danja. You gon' have to remove me 'cuz I ain't goin' nowhere." Danja hasn't had a major hit since 2009 and was last heard producing a universally panned DJ Khaled song. Congratulations, Danja, you played yourself? Is that, am I saying that right? Eh, fuck it, I'm about to admit I enjoyed a Good Charlotte song again.

88) "I Don't Wanna Be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem)," Good Charlotte

My headcanon is that Panic! At the Disco heard this song, considered what ill they had wrought, and decided to drop the ! and pretend they were the Beatles until they could be sure they couldn't influence something like this. I mean, you isolate it from the brand name, this is a solid dance-punk jam. It's over-the-top in all the right ways, I was shouting along with the chorus even in the peak "GOOD CHARLOTTE AREN'T REAL PUNKERS" days, and it's a sad song without trying to be profound about it. "You feel like shit, so dance it out!" this song says, and that's an agreeable message! But also Good Charlotte yelps the line "He was dedicated/By most suckas hated/That girl was fine but she didn't appreciate him" and if you're not embarrassed by that you need to think about the person you are in this moment. “By most suckas hated.” I’m being charitable by transcribing the line as if Joel Madden didn’t say ‘sucker.’ Criminy.

93) "Shawty Is a 10," The-Dream ft./Fabolous

this song is a 6 OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ...Is what I was GOING to say before I heard this song, which is refreshing! I found the way he pronounced "ten" unacceptable until I saw that the song was originally called "Shawty is Da Shit!" and now I only find it irksome, the lyrics are kinda enh, but that is a breezy summer day of a beat if I've ever heard one, Fabolous drops his best verse of 2007 so far, and The-Dream isn't nearly as nothing as I remember him being. Just a nice song about hot girls. Nothing to complain about, no sir.

94) "Fall," Clay Walker

"Doin' this and doin' that/Always puttin' yourself last/A whole lotta give and not enough take" ...I know there's no way for this song to be about what I just wanted it to be about and I'm angry that I let myself hope for better. "Fall/Go on and fall apart/Fall into these arms of mine/I'll catch you every time you/Fall" I'm so angry I thought this would be the song about a country dude agreeing to be an unselfish lover and eat out his girlfriend. Nope. He just wants her to cry in his arms so he can have her at his lowest moment and help build her back up so she'll continue associating "feeling better" with "being with him" and continue to blow him. I DARE one of these country dudes to make a song bragging about how good they are at eating pussy. I will buy a Brantley Gilbert record if he makes that song.

97) "How 'Bout Them Cowgirls," George Strait

et tu, possum?

9.23.2017

4) "...Ready for It?" by Tay Tay

There is entirely too much punctuation in this song title, this song begins with Tay Tay clearing her throat, and she is rapping. No. Absolutely not. How are people defending this? How come Tay Tay fired the person in charge of telling her "no?" This song is excessive and I hated listening to this and don't think it's gonna come around. This is bad and I hate it.

77) "These Heaux," by Bhad Bhabie

1) No 2) Fuck anyone expressing an actual opinion about this song 3) This country is broken 4) How dare they 5) No 6) No 7) No 8) Please don't 9) At least it wasn't a third Jake Paul song! 10) But legit life's too short to waste on things you know you're gonna hate. Maybe next time a meme drops a track, don't listen? This song only exists because it wants you to hate it. Listen to something you like next time. 11) #77. Fuck's sake.

81) "Bad at Love," by Halsey

This song could use a sense of humor. The phrase "bad at love" is inherently comical; how can you be bad at a noun, silly, what a playful use of language! But to call Halsey extra is to imply that this isn't standard Halsey. This could be a playful song about a girl who's been fucking around (in more ways than one! /slaps knee) too long and wishes she could settle down, but instead it's a song about a girl who needs to be fixed, and what it actually is doesn't captivate me at all. Halsey: Almost being something I'm into since 2015!

86) "Greatest Love Story," by LANCO

A three-act play: "Hey! I haven't heard of this band/artist before! Yippee, new music!" /sees country videos in the 'up next' sidebar "At this point, I’m refusing to learn." "They said I was nothing but a troublemaker never up to no good/You were the perfect all-American girl, wouldn't touch me even if you could." Oh wow, apparently the greatest love story is the story literally every other country artist has told, well no wonder so many of them have told story! Because it's the greatest! MYSTERY UNLOCKED.

97) "Sky Walker," by Miguel ft./Travis Scott

That falsetto Miguel does when he sings "but don't wait to jump in too long" that only like maybe five people on earth can do is unreal. I brought up Miguel when I complained about having to listen to Bryson Tiller, but LEGIT why are we bothering with Bryson Tiller when Miguel can do that thing with his voice. This song isn't really that great, it goes about the same places as the average Bryson Tiller song did, but just knowing I would hear Miguel sing that line in that way kept me engaged enough with the song.

99) "Reminder (Remix)," by The Weeknd ft./A$AP Rocky & Young Thug

"Ain't no more Hanes on my balls, these are Kenneth Cole" is a fucking outsanding boast from Young Thug and why I think he's one of the greatest artists of his generation. The Weeknd's verse is hilarious, as well -- "I just won a new award for a kids show/Talkin' 'bout a face numbing off a bag of blow." It takes a special track to render A$AP Rocky the bronze medalist, but man, this song is just a good time and a half. 2017 isn't all bad! It's had more downs than ups in recent days, but this is some quality 2017 music right here.

100) "No Fear," be DeJ Loaf

I thought #AndSeeThatsTheThing was dope, and I was looking forward to hearing more from DeJ Loaf, and then I forgot she existed for /checks watch/ nearly two years!, and now here's this song which is kinda basic but also so good, just an uncomplicated, nice song about being a love, which, y'know, if you're gonna give me something uncomplicated, I'd rather hear something simple about love than any of the thousands of simple songs about darkness and evil. Also, apparently DeJ and that Jacuqees fellow from a couple weeks back released a joint album called Fuck a Friend Zone. Fuck a Friend Zone is, as you likely expected, a bunch of songs about fuckin'. I'll repeat a point I've made: '90s R&B never died, it just lost all subtlety.

Who won the week?

In a lot of ways, I feel “No One” is the only Actually Good song I listened to this week. “Reminder” puts up one hell of a fight, but “No One” is pretty much all 2007 needed.

Current standings: 1997: 13 2007: 12 2017: 12 Next week, 1997 throws us Boyz II Men and Mary J. Blige, 2007 throws us a heck of a lot of random junk (Kanye! Khaled! Feist! Backstreet Boys?), and maybe Kelly Clarkson for 2017? Maybe? Or will it be a thousand country artists, each more broey than the last? please just give me a good week, please, just, please