#to judge someone for not being completely composed and perfect in such a moment of grief makes me so angry

[seven--secrets]

Agony With and Without | Riley | Trial 5.8 | Re: Wakaru, Kanna, Sibyl | ATTNish: Kanna + Dead Kids

Riley looks surprised at first when the ghosts begin to speak, because though her suggestion to get their say had occurred just a minute before, no one had answered her on if they should, and she didn’t think that the ghosts were listening in on this entire trial, with the way that Labyrista had needed to ask them the questions directly before. Maybe they had all gathered in, since those questions had started, or maybe she had misunderstood, she nods to each of their words, paying the utmost care to what they say and trying her best to acknowledge them to address later.

But Wakaru’s words in particular give her pause, as her mind grinds to a halt. It sounds far too much like everything she fears, everything that’s pained her, all the worries she has. Despite her pain though, she plans to try to talk to them calmly, to be respectful of their wants even as she reassures them as best she can, but before she can even form the words Kanna is speaking instead, and it was clear from her words directed right at her that she thinks what Riley’s been saying is wrong.

She was shamed when she didn’t say anything about her thoughts, when she decided to put her own feelings aside to allow Shigure to pick what she wanted to alone, and she was shamed for her words of encouragement as well, trying to comfort Shigure in her panic and question of if she was desired to stay. Nothing she could ever do was right. It never would be, in the eyes of everyone else, but it always felt so much more when it Any response dies in her already raw throat at Kanna’s words, and she only barely manages to contain the look of hurt at the position she’s caught between on her face from being too severe for a moment.

She manages to keep her face serious and almost composed, but that doesn’t stop all the tension in her shoulders, the tightness of her grip on Shigure's hand, the tears from leaking through only a little. 

“I’m sorry. I know that everything I say is flawed in some way to someone. I’ll try to do better, but I…”  

The urge to apologize for everything she says, to take the blame for everything is a strong one, and it’s hard to right off, but Sibyl speaks up for herself and for Riley in turn, and she pauses in surprise. Maybe it shouldn’t be something unexpected, but… She knows how hard it’s been for Sibyl to speak up about things like that, especially to Kanna even in this past dungeon they’d done. She’s proud, and that gives her the extra push to shoot a thankful smile towards her and clear her mind a little more, even if speaking up is sure to come with more backlash from some party or another. She's sure it will come. She's sure no one will be happy, not right now, but despite it, she'll speak up anyways.

  “...If trying to find a way to help as many people I care about as I can without asking for someone new to die is wrong, I’m sorry, but I’ll keep trying to do it. I can’t imagine a world where I would give up on trying to find the best possible outcome, to at least see what our options are for that.

I’ll keep thinking of everything I can to find something that’s better than the outcomes we have presented to us, but I don’t think that any option we have will be without pain. None of our options are fair, or perfect. But I’m still not trying to make any choices for the people they would affect most for them even while trying to help.”

There was no perfect answer, not that they had found. She doesn't think one completely exists, even if she’s trying her best to find one that’s just slightly less terrible.

(CW: Brief mentions of suicidal thoughts)

“And if that’s still not good enough, or even too much, I do apologize. But I can never accept that there’s nothing that can be done, to not even try for the people I care about both living and dead. If you think that makes me cruel or want to judge me for it then I’ll accept it, and you can. But when I see someone hurting out of guilt at the thought of themself living while others stay die or stay dead, every single part of me wants to tell them that that’s not an obligation that they have to take, because it never should be for anyone.

I… understand it so deeply myself already, I understand feeling like I’d rather be dead than causing pain to the people around me. Just… I just get it. I understand, now. And I would never ask anyone to die for my own sake or just to spare my feelings, even if I might be selfish enough to ask them to live. Nor would that spare them in the first place, honestly. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t see how much I always want to help anyone else struggling with the same struggles in guilt, those same thoughts.” 

That went for quite a few cases in this conversation, all of them squeezing more pressure onto her cracked glass heart. Yumeko trying to find a way to sacrifice themself for Shigure. Shigure asking desperately for Yumeko to tell her they wanted her to stay with them. Wakaru saying they would rather stay dead than to live if living would make Miyu and Kenta sad. It was painful, but she understood, and all she could do was try to comfort and speak from a place of understanding. She knows she can’t solve this perfectly, and yet…

  “And… I suggested that we could hear what the dead have to think exactly because I didn’t want to force something onto them that they would never want. The third solution that Kaz-kun said was possible from my questions, to at least save Ryou-kun, Wakaru-chan, and Yuka-chan without Shigure having to decide to die for it. Of course I would want to push for it if it were up to me, if I had any right to decide what would be best for them. I would just as readily choose to sacrifice my own life like a hypocrite too, if it came down to it.

But I don’t, and I can’t. Chioko and Wakaru are right that it’s cruel to put everything on one person, but I still feel like I don’t have any right to make that decision myself, when it’s not my life that’s on the line. That’s why I suggested asking the others it would effect, because they’re the ones it will along with Shigure.”

She takes a breath, because she can feel her voice starting to crack again, the emotion of the situation trying to leak it’s way back into her until it’s all she can feel, but she can’t let herself break down over something like this. Not here, not now. No matter how much people tell her to stop bottling things up, when it comes to the most important moment of so many peoples lives she can’t help but feel like she would make everything so much infinitely worse if she didn’t at least try to quell the damn. 

But she knows she shouldn’t shut off everything either, to stick with logic without emotion even if that would be so much easier than anything else. Only leaks find their way out with careful allowance, trying hard not to bring it all down while still not letting the water fill higher and higher until it all overflows at once. It’s a balance she’s not used to having to keep, but she’s trying her best to. To say what she really thinks despite the fear of how much everything she says and does fails someone.

After a moment to gather herself, she finally faces the mirror to address Wakaru and the others, a smile on her face alongside the wet tears she wishes would finish running their course.

  “Wakaru-chan, and all of you. I’ve said it so many times but… I’m trying very hard to listen to what other people want or aren’t okay with. And I want to listen to you too, even if I can never think that you getting to live would be a bad thing. That any of you getting to would be. I’ll always desperately want to fight for that, to think that it’ll always be worth saving a life if I can, but I… Know that reversing what’s already happened and changing outcomes is a little different than a normal circumstance, even if we get to remember it all. 

If the those of you we lost in the first half of this game think like Wakaru-chan too, that you would rather stay together than have some of you live and some of you not, then I’ll… try to respect that. I’ll try to think of something else too in case there’s anything I can find, or I’ll do my best to try to accept things if I can’t. I will always want the best for all of you, whether that’s being able to rest in peace or thrive in the living world. Just… Please value your own existence too, okay?”

She’s trying. She’s been trying this whole trial and this whole game so very, very hard to help as many people as she can, to learn to give herself a little patience, to respect other opinions as her own while still keeping steadfast to her morals. It’s horribly painful, and by now her throat is sore and tired from talking so much while emotions course through her, but she hopes that eventually both living and dead will be able to find that peace however things turn out.

#riley #chapter 5 #trial 5 #submission

[monodipita]

a snezhnayan's dream

pairing: yandere!childe (tartaglia) x gender neutral reader

words: ~1,700

warning(s): warning for yandere / implied dark content

A/N: (1/3) requests completed. if you're interested in seeing me write for your favorite genshin character, please feel free to send in a request! <3

The Moonchase Festival looked so beautiful in the distant afternoon glow. It was splendid and hot, so hot out here. At least it was better to be hot in this smoldering heat than to be subjected to the harsh cold of Snezhnaya, where you were originally from.

“[Y/N], you’ve came! I’m so happy!” Xiangling’s excited voice rang in your ears, making you pick her up with your eyes. A beaming smile crossed both of your lips -- she was a good friend as much as she was a competitor, and you believed you'd have plenty of fun competing against her. Unbeknownst to you both, your exchange caught the eye of a certain Harbinger who loosely hung out in the crowd, for reasons unknown to everyone. "Yeah, I have!" You continued your happy little exchange with XIangling, "I couldn't miss the opportunity to come and try to beat you! And try your amazing food, of course,"

"You flatter me, hehe," Xiangling bashfully placed her hands in her lap while tilting her head to the side, as one of her many shy mechanisms you'd come to be familiar with. "Well, I should really get to setting up my table," you told her, as you turned on your heel.

For a moment, you thought you could see a glint of red hair in the crowd. . . but as you tried to zero in on the person, they no longer seemed to exist. Strange, you thought to yourself, their hair was almost as red as Childe's. . .

"Do you want some help?" Xiangling appeared in your peripheral, shaking you out of your spell for a moment. You breathed a bit of relief and slowly nodded your head, "that'd be perfect! Unless. . . unless you can't help out your opponents?" You hummed, turning your head to observe Yanfei, who was busy enough at the table with the judges. You could tell she was hard at work because her nose was buried in her book of laws. Crafty, that girl.

"Oh, you're right," Xiangling pursed her lips. "I should go ask, then, huh?" She asked you, making you nod in agreement. "Maybe that's for the best," you tell her. "In the meantime, I'll go get started."

"Alright!"

The two of you parted ways -- you headed to your table, while Xiangling headed over to Yanfei. The distance wasn't great, but still. . . something about all of this felt off, and you just wanted to have someone by your side while you battled these feelings -- a stark contrast in the way you used to think before, when you were alone in Snezhnaya. Things still took a lot of getting used to. . .

Approaching the table now, you set down your knapsack full of ingredients. A tremendous weight was lifted off your shoulders, making you sigh with relief. However, you noticed that the table was already full of ingredients; were you at the right table? "Hmm?" You uttered to yourself, looking around with confusion. . . lifting your knapsack and being surprised to learn that there was a note there that you hadn't seen before. "Oh?" You hummed and picked up the folded letter.

The address of the letter made you freeze. The Northland Bank.

Without further thinking, you opened up the letter and revealed the contents.

It's been so long since we've last met each other, comrade. I've heard a lot about your ambitious desire to cook. I've heard about the restaurant you've opened up here in Liyue, but every time I've come by, you've never been open! I wanted that to change, so I bought the best ingredients mora could buy for the Moonchase Cooking Competition. I hope I get to try your food there!

For some reason, there wasn't any comfort in this letter. You remembered him; you could hear him talking to the person composing this letter, fabricating lies about your relationship. What he would neglect to tell anyone, was that he was smothering you to the point where all of your family and friends hated you for not interacting with them anymore, and how he forced you to leave Snezhnaya for good. You heard of the Fatui's presence in Liyue, yes, but you hoped that being a small business owner, you could tactfully avoid anything to do with him, or with Snezhnaya. . . clearly it was wishful thinking.

Unconsciously, you reached up to your neck with your free hand and tenderly felt it; pangs of faint pain made you reminisce about his less-than-flattering grips when you were angry with one-another. Those grips were filled with love at one point, but it seemed like. . . he just. . . grew obsessed, obsessed with you. Always having to be with you, memorizing every single thing that you liked so that he could bring them to you as gifts. . . god, when the two of you were in a relationship, it felt as suffocating as it was to be his friend. Knowing that he was here made you feel greatly uneasy.

But it seemed like standing here summoned the very person you didn't want to see.

“[Y/N], it's good to see you.”

You ignored his handsome lips calling out your name. So chipper and happy -- he wasn't ever privy to expressing his true emotions. Every single cursed possessive comment uttered from his lips bore the taint of passive aggression. "I'll kill you if you leave me," you remember hearing him say it. . . and he bore a smile when he did; chills rolled down your curved spine, making you purse your lips with discomfort.

“You always made the best dishes with Snezhnaya's frost boar, so I’m not surprised that you’re here.” He was behind you now, wasn't he?

“Why would you leave me like that?” He pressed.

"Out in Snezhnaya, alone. Was it because I told you I'd handle that man who harassed you? It's not my fault he went missing, you know," he told you, making you grit your teeth with agitation. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You needed to get out of here. He was a force to be reckoned with; a terrifying man who didn't have any boundaries. He was unhinged. Simply put, he was unhinged, but more importantly, unhinged and in love.

So, you stepped away from the cooking table and began to make your way into the thick crowd. You began to bob and weave through the thicket of people like you had somewhere to be, hoping that your quickened pace would be enough to discourage him from following you, or perhaps, you’d even lose him in the thickest of it.

But it seemed like the harbinger could sniff out your scent, because he trailed you with ease, even with two feet of space, and about 20 people between the two of you.

"If you move again, I'll do something~ and I know you don't want that," he purred at you with a mockingly flirtatious tone. "Right in front of this crowd, [Y/N]. It's crazy what a man in love will do,"

"How can you say that?" You asked in a hushed voice, barely above the roar of the patrons that surrounded you. You needed to hurry before this scene grew much larger than what it needed to be. "You made living in Snezhnaya a hell that I wanted out of. Do you intend to do the same to me here, now that you know that I'm in Liyue?" You cursed. He should've been glad that you hadn't called over the Millelith!

But it was probably the right thing to do, in hindsight.

"You know that I was only looking out for you." Childe said smoothly, gently gripping your shoulder to turn you around. You reluctantly did so to come face-to-face with his boyishly handsome features. His fiery red locks glistened in the sun and almost emulated it, while his piercing blue eyes were turned into crescent moons. His smirk said it all. "This world isn't cut out for someone so precious. . . so adorable," he purred, making you grimace with disgust. "And I did what I could to keep you safe. Again - not my fault the people I handled for you went missing shortly after what happened."

You narrowed your eyes with disgust before your hand went up to slap him, out of the well-felt frustration that came with interacting with someone so smug over something that had a sway on your memories to this very day.

However, his hand caught yours by the wrist. He wrenched it tight, squeezing the delicate bone and making you whimper. He forced you to come closer to him, effectively closing the gap between the two of you. "Is that any way to treat your comrade?"

You knew that wasn't what he meant. "You killed those people, Childe. You're a monster with an insatiable bloodlust!" You yelped at him, struggling against his grip.

"[Y/N]? [Y/N], where are you? The competition's about to start!" Xiangling could be heard calling out for you, making you look up with worry. Childe couldn't be around her. . . God, who knows what he would do to her?

"Oh, is that your friend? I think her name is. . . Xiangling, right?" He hummed as he glowered at you. "She's very cute, isn't she [Y/N]?"

"You're crazy. . . you're fucking crazy!" You cried at him. "I'll do whatever it is that you want me to do, just don't bring her into this!!"

Childe's expression seemed to change into something more enthusiastic. The glower he held was replaced with an excited beam, accompanied by a bright glimmer in his eye - undoubtedly the same one that came with the satisfaction of defeating those who stood in the tyrannic Tsaritsa's way. What did I just get myself into? You wondered to yourself.

#childe tartagalia #childe #genshin impact #reader insert #yandere x reader #tartagalia x reader #childe x reader #yandere childe #genshin x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #yandere childe x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #gender neutral insert #tartagalia x you

[achillieus]

we’re fools (bucky barnes x reader)

summary: for all bucky barnes knows, he hates clichés. and this thing between you two, happens to be the biggest one.

(enemies to lovers trope or i watched the society on netflix recently and based this entirely on harry bingham and cassandra pressman)

pairing: college au!bucky x reader

warnings: alcohol, a lot of sexual references, but also a lot of fluff, bucky and reader are in love, also bucky gets cheesy and he hates it

(other parts)  (masterlist)

part 3/3:

Bucky thinks he fell in love on a Tuesday.

“This year, I’m gonna ask Peggy Carter out.” It’s the first day of their third semester and Steve is putting his black baseball cap in his perfect hair, checking his reflection on his phone screen. One of the freshman girls winks at him and he shyly half smiles.

Usually, Bucky would tease him about it, but now he’s attention is wholly on something else. Someone else.

A girl at the other end of the hall, holding a paper juice box, wearing a gaudy denim dress that stops right before her knees.

He’s certain he hasn’t seen her before and judging by the adrift look on her face he deduces she’s in her first year. Is she pretty? He can’t decide. She’s definitely something. And if he stares at her a bit longer than socially acceptable, well let’s say, it’s completely unintended.

“Buck, did you hear what I said?” Steve says at one point and Bucky isn’t sure for how long he has been lost in her figure.

“Yeah sure.” The girl starts walking at their direction -it must be your lucky day, Bucky-, clutching the golden heart jewel around her neck. She’s looking at the doors, she’s looking at the big campus map they have on the wall. She’s looking everywhere but at him and it’s almost offensive considering the amount of time he spent looking at her.

“I’m sorry,” And then she’s there standing a few steps behind Steve. Almost hidden behind his colossal demeanor. “I can’t seem to find the Admission Office.”

A small nervous laugh escapes her lips and Bucky watches the little wrinkles around her eyes, the subtle blush on her cheeks. She doesn’t look pretty. No. She looks consuming.

“Admission office is on the left, doll”. He replies a little too fast. He had to beat Steve. He had to talk to her.

She smiles at him and somehow, along that smile, Bucky thinks he fell in love. With you.

-

(bucky barnes has been in love with you for 563 days)

-

“Did you just kiss me?”

His voice is barely a whisper and his vision is blurry and it’s weird because suddenly he realizes how scared he’s of you. Of the power you have on him. An alarming craving. Every addiction he can’t control combined. Bucky isn’t afraid of many things, not exactly. But he’s afraid that you’ll take his heart and break it, if you want to. And he’s more afraid that he’ll just allow you to. He wonders, for the split of a second, if you have any idea how everything changed when your lips met his. How something inside of him shifted.

“I’m sorry,” You finally answer and he needs a moment to compose himself, “I’m so sorry I just thought-”

“Shut up, I’d died if you hadn’t kissed me.”

“What?”

It’s innocent and terribly oblivious, the way you ask him that and he half smiles, almost touches your palm before his mind stops racing. Ignores the alcohol in his body. Reminds him that he’s Bucky Barnes, that he’s clever and brilliant and a little bit narcissistic and that he doesn’t do love.  Not anymore. And that people adore him for that. And that he needs to uphold it. At least try to.

“I’m not repeating that soppy thing I said,” He drawls and smirks, his teeth gleaming in the fluorescent light of the hall. He has his mask back on. He’s playing his part again. And then he takes a quick step, opens his door and turns around, swift motions and hard grips and suddenly your spine hits the walls of his room. “But you can repeat that sexy thing you did with your tongue.”

Bucky isn’t stupid. He knows he’d perish and wither in a blast if you asked him to, yet he would never admit that. At least not so fast. And specially not to you. He has built his persona so carefully, wore it like an armor, it has become a second skin.

His chapped lips scratch soft against your neck, his hands play with the end of your dress and you observe the way his orbs are colored darker now. He knows what he’s doing. It’s a show he’s practiced. His touch is sharp, like a razor, cuts through your epidermis, comes close to your veins and the muscles of your heart.

And you’re ready to close your eyes, savor every minute of it, offer yourself like an altar and let him wipe the rationality out of you, but the moment his fingers find the wet silk between your legs there’s pain and your throat dries out instantly.

“Bucky, wait.”

“What’s wrong doll?”

“Can we stop?”

There’s the cruel split of a moment where the anxiety inside of you flares up dangerously and you fill like on the edge of a cliff, like falling and it’s horrible. And then you see his body relax, breathing a sigh of relief and laughing.

“Thank God you asked.”

“Barnes,” you hit him with your elbow, “You’re doing wonders for my self esteem right now!”

“You’re an idiot,” he replies with a grimace, “It’s just that I’m drunk and I prefer if I’m not drunk when we have sex. I want to remember the whole thing.”

A strange sensation tingles somewhere between your ribs and your stomach, something so pure and new, and it raises goosebumps all over you. And you smile at him.

And somehow along that smile, Bucky’s mask starts to fall.

/

Bucky Barnes, you learnt within your first month in college, is a year older than you, a proud boy that always asks the right questions and always gives the right answers, with charms and wits of a living god.

Bucky Barnes, you learnt the night you kissed him in the narrow aisle, may have a sharp tongue but he also has the sweetest lips, soft and liqueur like.

Bucky Barnes, you learn some days later, doesn’t want many people to know about you two, and sits three tables away during lunch.

/

“Are you embarrassed of me?”

Your mind is racing with dozens of hurtful possibilities, some more or less, and Bucky looks at you, eyes widen and surprised.

“Why would I be embarrassed of you?”

“I don’t know,” you take the tea cup in your hands, drink and stay silent for a while, observe the way he’s fidgeting with his fingers, “Why else would you avoid me whenever there’s someone else but Sam around?”

It takes some time before he walks closer, sits next to you by his bedframe and touches your hand, your skin freezing under his.

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

Your heart almost stops, because Bucky is never scared, and his answer feels strangely heavy and bitter from his lips when he says, “I just don’t want anyone to ruin this.”

He doesn’t smile, doesn’t even smirk like he usually does, just stares at you with narrow eyes and a quick breath.

“Bucky, I hate it to break it to you,” you say, a glint of amusement in your voice, “But I don’t think others care that much about us.”

You cup his face in your hands, guide him backwards, his back hitting the pillow and it’s the first time he has no choice but to comply.

“And even if they do,” you breath in, wet your lips and tease the corner of his mouth with your finger, “It’s not our problem.”

Bucky grabs the back of your neck, shifts even closer to you, his heart not missing a beat. And when you kiss him, he smiles. And somehow along that smile, Bucky becomes more of himself.

/

It goes like this;

People read it in his eyes. How his gaze never leaves you even while you’re writing a test and he needs to concentrate, how he looks mesmerized when you braid your hair while scanning the textbook in front of you. How he could find you even in the middle of the biggest crowd.

People see it in your reactions. How your fingers always wrap around his wrist, almost instinctively, before he leaves, and you kiss him one time on the lips, and then one more on the cheek. How your voice changes as soon as he enters the room. How you’d know he’s here even without looking.

You really have to try to be oblivious to love.

/

(text messages between classes)

(10:26 AM) bucky: hey does taylor swift have to be playing in the background when we have sex

(10:27 AM) you: it’s not even noon bucky what the hell

(10:27 AM) bucky: i went through your spotify and APPARENTLY you have a  “🍆🍆🍆” playlist

(10:27 AM) bucky: and it’s just taylor swift and hozier???

(10:27 AM) bucky: who the hell wants to have sex with a taylor swift song playing

(10:28 AM) you: I’m gonna kill you

(10:28 AM) bucky: nah <3

/

It’s surprisingly easy, dating Bucky Barnes, and by the end of the first month, you feel at home, at ease.  He talks a lot, way more than you expected him to, he shares his favorites, the way he always underlines quotes he likes in the books he’s reading or how he never eats anything that has soy in it. He shows you everything about him, not just who he is, but who he’s ever been. And it’s beautiful.

And you observe how he breathes easier now, smiles more. He doesn’t keep his guard up, doesn’t flinch when nobody’s looking at him.

/

He thinks it’s weird.

He thinks it’s weird, because kissing has always been an act of foreplay to him and he never paid much attention, but now, with you, he could spend his whole life kissing you.

But when you start pulling at the buttons of his black expensive shirt, well, it’s not like he’s complaining. He presses his body against yours, his hands almost shaking, his fingers burying in your hair, slowly tugging.

“Bucky,” You breath in his neck, “I may be bad at this.”

“What?” He whispers as he leaves wet trails all the way to your chest.

“I haven’t done this before, so I may be bad at it.”

He stares right at your lips, notices your sweet cherry scent mixing with the sharp notes of his aftershave, touches the spot under your eyes and smiles.

“Guess we’ll have to do it over and over again then.” He’s half laughing, half kissing your shoulder and you can feel your cheeks flush and your entire being tighten.

And then his cold fingertips draw circles on your inner thighs and you close your eyes, and Bucky forgets how to breath.

/

“I probably sound like a fool but, I’m in love with you.”

You didn’t plan on saying it that early, but he’s here, warm and glistening and in your arms and you can’t go another minute without hearing the words out loud.

“And I probably sound competitive but, I’ve been in love with you since God knows when.”

/

(AH IT’S FINISHED BUT YAY THEY’RE IN LOVE)

tagging: @tonystankschild @osterfieldshollandgirl​ @roguesthetic @buckyjms​ @ohladymacbeth​

#i had one of the worst months but hello hello i am back #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #college au #au!bucky barnes #college au!bucky #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #hassandra #fools

[jiminrings]

I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭

last name, jeon.

drabble week: day two

drabble week masterlist

pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"

notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

“do you wanna form-“

... yes

you DO have an alliance with jungkook

it's a very fair trade honestly

he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience

in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D

no but literally that's how he called it

the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion

especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden

you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down

you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY

you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly

do you plan on denying their advances? yes

but hOW????

you always take the passive-aggressive approach

you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D

you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!

jungkook comes more handy than that too

you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone

you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself

you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you

jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3

ALSO jungkook wants something from you

"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"

that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far

you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!

you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((

jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula

you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since

his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work

jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically

your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago

You Do Not Like Him <3

"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"

now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display

... wow

his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more

his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch

"very romantic, kook."

now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear

he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling

(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)

your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course

"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"

he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????

you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks

"i have insurance, i think."

no that's the wrong answer

why did you even bother.,,.,

jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration

"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."

"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"

oW THAT HURT

he flicked even harder this time!!!

you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing

“wallet, please.”

????

jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you

“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”

right

he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes

you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned

you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit

("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")

you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend

you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers

he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already

in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story

it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye

"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."

WHAT???

there's no way

"how did you-"

"you blush like one."

alright that answer was too quick

hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering

"a-and the love part?"

"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."

okay very true

hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave

hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari

okay this is it

once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now

you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!

"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."

oh okay makes sense

if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable

hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way

shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://

you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional

is that-

hold on a second

"what a coincidence :O"

jimin?

jimin???

as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???

he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him

"i know that look. what am i doing here?"

he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it

AND HE DID!!!

you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no

"i-i didn’t mean-..."

you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging

it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways

"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."

he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you

this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane

"have we been in the same event before this?"

"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."

jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"

you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!

you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting

because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye

jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear

"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."

oh so that's why

he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves

maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds

maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening

"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."

this situation is actually pretty cute

you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably

this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to

“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”

:O

jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???

why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that

“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless

“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”

jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat

wow ur really enjoyable to talk to

“you’re insane and i think-“

listen

you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden

"who are you calling insane?"

jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated

you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now

"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye

hold on

wait

THAT'S JIMIN???

okay now he's confused

sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process

"why are YOU here?"

jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people

the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!

"why’s he here?"

he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy

"long story."

nO???

jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck

YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????

he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??

you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!

"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."

why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???

jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on

“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat

jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face

what is he FEELING

“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”

“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”

he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you

“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush

he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him

"i-i actually don’t mind."

you don't,,,

you don't mind?

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!

"y/n has a boyfriend."

“... i’m not hitting on her.”

alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol

“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”

you do??

the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!

“i don-“

ALRIGHT THEN

jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask

“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”

you don't answer.

that gives him all the more reason to do so.

“last name, jeon.”

jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”

....

......

the three of you know that’s not the truth

jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it

not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course

“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you

he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit

“what are you doing?”

“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards

jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again

“who are you doing?”

://

“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”

who instead of what??

the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence

“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”

his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”

“she’s not my girlfriend though.”

you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!

and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.

“then who-...”

“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”

jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

...

....

“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges

“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”

god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation

have you been chasing after one another this whole time?

jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it

maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours

you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —

but you don't have the heart to take it off

there's no need to take it off

jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything

his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place

you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it

you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.

it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to

“yeah. what a coincidence.”

#drabble week #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook au #jungkook headcanons #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook angst imagine #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook oneshots

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Deception [Benedict Bridgerton x Reader]

Title: Deception Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Female!Reader Word count: 4.5k Published: 21 March 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Summary: Violet's constant search for a wife for her second eldest son has become too much for Benedict. The only escape he sees is to ask you to pretend to be courting each other. But how long will it work for with your feelings eating you up from the inside. Bingo: [x] This is part of my Make me feel Bingo Card by @girl-next-door-writes​​​

Square filled: Fake dating

Bridgerton Masterlist | Masterlists

Make me feel Bingo Masterlist

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Benedict Bridgerton was a very capable man. He had a tremendous amount of talent in capturing the real beauty of the world in his drawings. He was confident, but still genuinely kind and caring for his loved ones. He also had a rather playful side to him, a somewhat child-like behaviour, one that the ton would not have appreciated in their society, but Benedict had the privilege to show his real personality to those who loved him, ones that never judged him for who he was.

However, there was one person he felt utterly useless around. When it came to you, he turned into an adorable mess, a clumsy one at that, even stuttering on occasions. Should you have known the reason for his unusual behaviour, it would have brought a rather large smile to your face, but Benedict dared not to reveal his feelings for you.

For someone who has been friends for so long, you both seemed to have found it hard to show your true feelings for one another, as though both of you were clueless. For Benedict it seemed you only spared as much attention to him as a friend would, whilst you thought he was merely looking out for you as a brother figure.

You sat in the ballroom, watching as he grimaced at his mother, who might have slightly forced her second oldest child to dance with one of the many stunning unwed ladies. The one he was forced to dance with however seemed to enjoy Benedict's company. He didn't talk, nor did he look at the woman, still she shined brighter than a diamond in his arms, proud to be so close to such a fine man.

Heaving a heavy sigh, you watched as he held his hand firmly on her back, leading her around the dance floor, making her giggle by just being close to her. Your heart ached at the thought of ever having to give up on him, at the thought of seeing him with another, someone he would choose to love, ignoring to see your longing gazes forgotten on him. How could he have seen, he never dared to look when he felt your eyes on him, nor did you dared to look when he forgot his on you.

Standing up from your chair, you walked towards the terrace, needing fresh air, trying to clear your thoughts as the slightly cool, windy weather stroked your cheeks. You knew you shouldn't have thought of him romantically, but you would have been a fool not to notice the handsome and caring man he has grown into. Watching Lady Bridgerton trying to find a wife to her son hurt both emotionally and physically and you couldn't wait for the season to end, to leave the balls and play-pretend behind you, running away from the inevitable.

"Help me!" you heard his desperate voice, but before you could have turned around, you felt his hand lock around your wrist, gently, but in a haste, dragging you after himself.

"Benedict, what are you doing?" you asked in confusion, trying to understand his chaotic behaviour as he pulled you along, passing corridors by corridors in the gigantic mansion.

"My mother," he sighed as he stopped his steps, breathing heavily. "My mother is becoming—" you waited for him to continue, but he seemed to have been stuck in his thoughts.

"Are you alright?" you asked, frowning at his frozen state, as though he couldn't find the words and his thoughts overruled his actions. You watched his hunched back as he fought to get enough air in his lungs, his eyes focused on a certain point on the marble flooring, completely out of the present. "Benedict!" you called him again, this time firmly, attempting to catch his attention.

"I know it!" he exclaimed, making you jump slightly at his unexpected enthusiasm as a rather wide smile spread across his face.

"What do you know exactly?" you inquired.

"It might sound foolish at first and I do not blame you if you think I have lost my mind, but I need your help," he explained, leaving you even more curious.

"What would I need to help you with?" you asked furrowing at the man as if he has forgotten to include you in his grand idea.

"My mother has been adamant in finding me a wife and there is only so much I can do to prevent her from continuing her crusade. I know I shouldn't ask you such a thing, but I can't possibly think of anyone else who I trust enough," he continued in a secretive manner.

"Benedict, you must be clearer. I don't understand what you wish for me to do," you attempted to push him to finally reveal his idea.

"I need my mother to stop searching for a wife and the only way I can do that is if I already found someone I am interested in," he started. "That is where I would need your help, if you agreed. Should you agree to pretend I am courting you, my mother would surely stop this nonsense and leave me alone," for a mere second you felt overwhelmed by the hope of his interest in you, but that was only until your brain processed his words. "Pretend" being the main focus of your attention, shattering the small shimmering light of hope within you.

You took a shaky breath, trying to compose yourself, attempting to hide your disappointment. "Surely you didn't think this through. Your mother isn't a fool, she would see through us immediately. You can't possibly think it's a good idea," you tried to reason with him, but instead of thinking it through again, he quickly shook his head.

"But it is. Think about it. You have said so yourself, you don't want to marry just yet and nor do I. It would be the perfect option for both of us, solving our issues," he added enthusiastically as if his idea was anything, but brilliant. He could clearly see the weary expression across your face as he stepped closer and reached for your hands, engulfing them in his large and warm palms. "We would only have to pretend for a short while, I promise," he tried to reassure you. Whilst you knew it was a foolish idea, the thought of being able to stay close to him even if for a short period of time, seemed to cloud your better judgement.

"For how long?" you asked looking up at him as a mischievous grin spread across his dashingly handsome face. One that you adored so much. "I wouldn't want to be a spinster, Benedict," you sighed heavily.

"I would never let that happen," he shook his head quickly, his previously playful smile long gone from his face. "Let us do it for a few weeks and we will see how my mother reacts. I'm sure if we work well together, you might even catch the attention of some very noble men too," he winked jokingly, trying to lift your dull mood.

You haven't had much time to contemplate, maybe a few seconds until you ran through all the options you have been provided with, which was basically none. You heaved a heavy sigh and shook your head, offering a sceptical look to Benedict. "Fine," you said, earning a surprised expression from him, your answer shocking him for a second, before he wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, twirling you around happily.

"You are my saviour," he chuckled as he hinted a small kiss on your forehead, stopping himself as he realised what he had done. "I apologise, I didn't mean to—"

"I understand. You are simply happy I have agreed to such a scandalous idea," you rolled your eyes, but you couldn't hide the happiness you felt. Even if for a short while, Benedict was to belong to you, and it meant more than you could have possibly expressed. You knew you couldn't have him forever but having him for a couple of weeks made you feel like the happiest person alive.

"I owe you! I didn't think you would agree," he grinned happily, a childish warmness radiating from his stance as though he had won a grand prize.

"I still don't understand why I did. Surely, I'm a fool," you added quickly with a silent chuckle.

"We both are," he replied as he started leading you back to the ballroom with your arm linked around his. His gaze focused on the way ahead, but your eyes were rather resting on his attractive features. He was a stunning man, and you were sure if he had turned to look at you, he would have seen the amount of love you were harbouring for him. But as many times before, no one of you has ever turned.

Weeks passed by and if anyone, Violet Bridgerton was the happiest person to see Benedict growing closer to the woman, you, she had envisioned beside her second eldest son. She has made it very clear that a wedding should soon be happening, wanting nothing but a little baby in her arms. You never wanted to crash her dreams but hearing her talking about a future between you and Benedict was beyond painful. The thought of you waking up beside Benedict, his arm resting across your waist, his neck hidden in the crook of your neck, his breath tickling your skin made your heart ache, knowing it was impossible.

You stood in Somerset House, one arm hooked around Benedict's as he watched the paintings, his face focused on one particular art with dark colours and shadings, slightly depressing as if the artist tried to capture a horrible emotion. Art was always something that you found beautiful, but never really understood. When Benedict talked about the meaning behind each piece with a childish happiness across his face, it made you feel content. Although you didn't understand much of what he was saying, the adorable expression he wore was worth each and every moment you spent listening to him.

Looking at his handsome features as they relaxed into a content smile, made you mirror his expression. You couldn't look at him and not smile. As though his mere presence made you feel at ease.

"I feel your eyes on me," he chuckled with a mischievous smile, knowing that you have indeed been staring at him for the longest time.

"I'm sorry," you quickly turned away, feeling your cheeks and ears heat up in embarrassment. "I couldn't stop watching you. You were really focused on that painting and it seemed as though you were here physically, but not mentally. You unintentionally make this face when you enjoy a painting," you smiled shyly.

"A face?" he furrowed, not knowing of his own reaction.

"Yes, as if you were completely captured by the painting. You have a certain content smile across your face and even forget to blink at times," you giggled, placing your hand in front of your mouth, remembering his facial expression.

"Don't hide your smile," he said as he reached for your wrist and gently wrapped his fingers around your arm, pulling your hand away from your lips. "You are even more beautiful when you smile," for a second his words made you hope, as though he meant more than he let on. His eyes seemed as if they could see through you, reading each and every single thought that crossed your mind. For the shortest of time, it felt your feelings weren't as unrequited as you thought. However, you quickly had to remind yourself that your imagination was playing a painful game with you, one that would surely end in a heartbreak.

You quickly turned away, trying to shake those foolish thoughts away, before you decided to dwell on them any longer. Clearing your thoughts, you turned back to him with a phony smile across your face, biting your bottom lip to calm yourself. But his deep frown left you confused. "Are you okay?" you questioned as he tilted his head as if he was studying your face.

"You were biting your lips again," he replied. "You do that when you are nervous or feeling uncomfortable," he added, stunning you. Biting your lips was indeed a nervous habit of yours, one that you couldn't stop as it made you feel slightly at ease when you felt as if even your own thoughts betrayed you. You never thought Benedict even realised those irrelevant, minor details.

"I'm fine, Benedict," you tried to reassure him with a smile that you wore confidently but could not fool Benedict.

"Should you feel the need to talk, I'm here," he said, drawing tiny circles on the back of your arm that he was still securely holding onto, reassuring you that he was by your side whenever you were in need of him.

As happy as it made you, you couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment as you thought about the heartbreak when he would finally want to end your foolish little game and find himself a wife that he could cherish forever, leaving you with the most horrible heartache one could cause.

You knew it was inevitable, you knew it would kill you, but you loved Benedict and you would have never forced him to stay beside you for any longer than he wanted to. You were ready to give him up, to be happy even if with someone else. The thought of letting him go hurt, but you weren't sure of your own strength either. Thinking about how long you could stay beside him pretending to be a mere friend left you with just as much pain, if not more. But you were ready to sacrifice your own happiness even if to be able to spend one more second with him.

Days passed by since your slightly awkward encounter in Somerset House. You have pretended to be a couple so in love that you couldn't possibly stay away from each other. Lady Whistledown didn't miss to write a paragraph or two about the two of you, already planning your wedding, one that you found slightly excessive, but dared not to mention to keep your act believable.

As much as you enjoyed the first few weeks of your play-pretend, it was hard to keep it up for long. You loved every minute you spent with Benedict, but the longer you were beside him, the more pain you felt. You wished to make him happy, to continue your act, but you also knew that it wasn't forever, and that tiny little thought suffocated you.

You sat on a bench in the park, right after promenading with Benedict. He joined his brothers whilst your maid brought you a glass of water to refresh yourself. You watched as Benedict laughed with his brothers, a wide, adorable and carefree smile sat across his face. Weeks ago, you would have smiled at his happiness, but then and there, sitting on the bench, watching his happy form, you felt miserable. Each time you looked at him, your stomach jumped nervously, your breath caught in your lungs as he touched your arm. These tiny little details meant nothing to him, but for you they meant the world. He couldn't have known the effects his advances left on you, he couldn't have predicted to hurt you unintentionally, but in the end, he unknowingly caused you pain.

Standing up from the bench, you started walking towards the Bridgerton brothers. Heaving a heavy sight, you lifted your arm and tapped Benedict's shoulder lightly, trying to catch his attention. He turned around with a wide smile, looking at you curiously. However, your face must have forgotten to oblige as his smile quickly disappeared and concern took over him.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he nodded to his brothers and reached for your hand, placing it on his arm, leading you away from his family.

"I must talk to you," you started, your voice unusually grim.

"Go ahead. You are worrying me," he added impatiently. Trying to collect your thoughts, you stopped, halting the man beside you whose worried eyes didn't seem to want to leave you for a mere second. "Talk to me," he attempted to reassure you.

"I am really sorry, but I can't possibly do this anymore," your words earned a confused frown from Benedict, before he finally understood what you meant. "I know I promised to help you and I wish I could have done it longer, but I honestly can't do this anymore," you added as you fought against your tears, trying to keep them in place for as long as you could. You couldn't let yourself cry in front of so many people, you couldn't let that happen. Benedict straightened himself in front of you, trying to hide your face from the curious eyes.

"I understand. I am sorry for forcing you to do this. I never thought it could be this hard on you. I would never hurt you, you know that, right?" he asked, trying to contain himself from wrapping his arms around you, fidgeting with his hands beside his thighs.

"I know and you didn't hurt me, it's not your fault. It has just become rather difficult recently and I don't think I'm capable of pretending anymore," you tried to reassure him, making him feel less guilty. "I'm still your friend and I will always be your friend," you added with a phoney smile. Your own words were a lie. You didn't know how long you could pretend to be his friend, but you knew he needed to hear that, he needed not to blame himself. "I will be going home now, but surely I will see you later," you smiled up at him as you curtsied and nodded towards your maid, ready to head home, completely oblivious to the pained gaze he was watching your slowly disappearing form with.

Whilst you sat in your carriage, letting your tears finally run down your cheeks, leaning on your maid's shoulder, Benedict stood confused between Colin and Anthony, his eyes fixed on the ground, his thoughts filled with you only.

"Brother?" Colin called for him with concern in his eyes. It was unusual to see his brother unresponsive, without a playful smile. "Are you alright?" he asked, earning a frown from Benedict.

"I shouldn't have dragged her into this," he replied, but his words were directed more to himself than his brothers.

"What do you mean?" Anthony asked, seemingly more interested in their conversation.

"It was all a lie," Benedict replied, his gaze still fixed on the carefully cut grass.

"What was a lie?" the eldest Bridgerton brother asked again.

"All along we were pretending to be courting, so mother would stop trying to force me to marry," he scoffed, finally understanding the weight of his idea. "She said she can't do this anymore. That it was too painful to bear," he shook his head, guilt overcoming him.

"You really are a fool," Anthony replied with a sceptical look across his face, earning a confused look from both Colin and Benedict.

"How do you mean? Is it because we have been pretending?" Benedict questioned his brother. "I know it was foolish, but she agreed, I didn't know it would be particularly hard on her," he added with a deep frown.

"Brother, can you not see the way she looks at you? Always trying to make you feel happy, bringing a smile to your face even when she, herself is struggling to do so? Are you really that blind?" Anthony raised a questioning brow, as though he couldn't believe how oblivious his brother was towards your feelings.

"Should I understand?" he asked tilting his head innocently, searching for the right explanation. "We have been friends from a very young age, I am certain we have always tried to make each other smile in a difficult situation," he added, earning an eye roll from the eldest Bridgerton brother, ignoring his manners.

"When you said you were courting her, I thought you finally realised that you weren't the only one with feelings beyond friendship. However, after hearing about this foolish idea of yours, forcing a lady to pretend to love you, when in fact she has feelings for you is beyond stupid, brother, and I'm quite disappointed in you for not realising it yourself," he shook his head disapprovingly.

"Are you telling me she has feelings for me?" Benedict asked in disbelief, his brother's words lighting a weak hope within him.

"Indeed, took you long enough to understand," he scoffed.

"I have to talk to her," Benedict added quickly, heading towards the carriages in haste, carefully planning all he needed to tell you.

The ride didn't take long, 20 minutes at most, before he stood in front of your house, his hands shaking slightly, nervousness running through his whole being. Knocking on the door, a maid opened it for him, asking him to wait to announce his arrival to you.

You laid on your bed, cheeks swollen from crying, bottom lip red as a result of the constant biting of your nervous state. A knock on your door brought you out of your misery as your maid walked into the room.

"Mr. Bridgerton is here to see you," she said with a saddened tone, knowing of the arrangement between the two of you. Your eyes widened in surprise, you weren't ready to see him, especially not in your current, heartbroken state. "Would you like me to ask him to leave?" she questioned, looking at the panicked expression across your face.

"No, it's fine. Please take him to the drawing room," you instructed her and headed to the bathroom to make yourself presentable. Your eyes were bloodshot, your face was slightly swollen, and your clothes were beyond wrinkled. Attempting to straighten your dress, you stroked the material over and over again, but it didn't seem to work, nor did the cold water you washed your face with to remove the evidence of your miserable state. At last, you gave up and walked to the drawing room, knowing you wouldn't be able to do anything else with your appearance.

"We have just parted, Benedict," you said to the man as you stepped inside the room and took a seat across the sofa he occupied.

"I needed to see you," he replied, standing up from his place and taking a seat beside you. "I—, I talked to my brothers after you left," he started, stammering over his words, something he only did in his nervous state. "I am a fool and there is no excuse for that. I can't possibly imagine how hard it must have been for you to pretend—"

"I have told you already, I am completely fine," you tried to reassure him with a faux smile, one that this time Benedict didn't believe to be genuine.

"But are you?" he asked, earning a confused frown from you. "Do you know why I thought this foolish idea to be brilliant in the first place?" he raised a questioning brow, but instead of replying you shook your head. "I wanted to be closer to you. I merely thought it would be my chance to spend more time with you. Surely, I had no intention to marry anyone, and I wished my mother to stop, but my primary concern was you. I wanted to be near you at all times, but I couldn't possibly tell you how I felt, knowing you would only reject me," you couldn't control the surprise sitting across your face, your lips parted in shock, his words seemingly part of your most precious dreams. It seemed surreal.

"You are confusing me, Benedict," you spoke up, trying not to hope once again to then fall painfully.

"I'm saying I love you. I have loved you for so long, I can't remember when it started. I never imagined my feelings could be returned and I turned to foolish ideas to be beside you. I needed my brothers to open my eyes and scold me for being childish, for making me hope that I might have your heart even if only half as much as you have mine," he reached for you hand, gently squeezing it in his hold, reassuring you that he meant every single word of his.

"I love you," you blurted out, astonished by his speech, your own words surprising you.

"You do?" he asked, afraid to believe the words he has longed to hear from you.

"I do," you nodded, this time with more confidence, earning a wholehearted smile from Benedict as he leaned closer and wrapped his arms around you, embracing you in his arms.

"I made you cry, didn't I?" he asked as he pulled away slightly, enough for him to be able to look in your eyes as he placed his hands on your cheeks.

"It wasn't you. I was emotional, because I wasn't sure how long I would be able to stay beside you as a friend before it became too much to handle," you giggled awkwardly, feeling as if you have said too much.

"It was still my fault. I didn't consider your feelings," he shook his head, disapproving of his own actions. The tip of his thumb gently brushed across your bottom lip, leaving you with a ticklish feeling. "Have you been biting your lips again?" he asked as his eyes focused on your mouth. His attentiveness, his attention to detail and his closeness made you swallow nervously.

"I might have," you whispered, not daring to raise your voice any louder. Feeling his breath on your lips, the proximity between your faces, his warm palms on your cheeks made you feel intoxicated.

"You shouldn't do that. From now on talk to me when something bothers you," he spoke in a low tone, his voice soothing, making you feel safe. "You are doing it again," he chuckled, his eyes completely captured by the way your teeth bit on your lip, but this time it wasn't nervousness, but excitement. His closeness affected every tiny part of your body. "It really makes me want to kiss you," he breathed, completely mesmerised by your lips, as if an invisible force was pulling him towards you. You felt your heart beating at a dangerous pace, almost as if threatening to escape your chest and you could swear Benedict heard it just as well.

"Hmm," you hummed in a reply, incapable of creating a coherent sentence, before closing the gap between the two of you, a certain confidence rush taking over your actions. Instead of the surprised reaction you expected from Benedict, a playful chuckle left his lungs.

"Impatient, it seems," he added, before he returned your kiss, pulling you closer to himself, enjoying the feeling of your body in his embrace. He has imagined over and over again how it could feel to kiss you, to hold you, but none of those made-up scenarios could ever compete against the reality and the content it filled him with. "I wish to genuinely court you this time," he added as he pulled away from you.

"I very much hope so," you giggled happily, earning a playful eye roll from Benedict, before he captured your lips once again, wrapping his arms around you securely.

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[mandoalorian]

What about Javier Pena being jealous?????? 🥺

Thank you for the request! I hope this is okay for you!!

Into You [Javier Pena x Female Reader] SMUT

Warnings: SMUT, inexperienced reader, angst in the start but fluff in the end ;) <3

Rating: 18+ only.

Word count: 4k

MASTERLIST | Submit your requests HERE

Javier Peña did not get jealous.

But he heard the way they talked about you. He saw the way they looked at you. Gawked, undressing you with their minds. The way their lips spewed dirt and filth about the things they'd do to you if they were graced with the chance of some ‘alone time’ with you. And he hated it.

Javier Peña was anything but a saint. He had his ways. The DEA had a renown of being more reserved than the CIA, which meant Javier had earned a name for himself due to his lothario reputation.  Javier's colleagues were a lot older than him, settled down with families, children- and some even with grandchildren. Even his old partner, Steve Murphy, had a wife and a daughter. Javier had none of that. Except from you.

You were the new receptionist. Shy, fresh faced, and beaming with anticipation as you found your feet in your new job. Javier found it endearing, but he wondered how long your bubbliness would last. It wasn't all rainbows and butterflies- working for the DEA. You had an air of innocence to you, and he swore you had the kindest heart in the whole of Colombia. Javier knew from the moment he met you, that the men in his department were not deserving of you.

Javier didn't give a fuck about his reputation. But when the Colombian department extended to the CIA, Javier met a lot more men who were like himself. He saw them chat up women from his previous encounters in bars, and he saw them visit the same brothels as he did. That behaviour seemed to become normalized.

You were the only women in a department filled with horny, sex crazed men. Often, Javier would find himself watching you from his desk, only a pane of glass seperating you both. Almost always you were on the phone, doodling in a notebook as you talked to potential informants. Other times, your head was down and you were whisked away in your work. Occasionally though, he noticed CIA agents bust their move with you.

He never confronted you about it- it wasn't his place, but seeing the way they spoke to you filled a rage in his heart. Javier was lucky enough to blossom a friendship with you; one that you really valued. You didn't have many friends in Colombia, but knowing a man like Javier Peña had your back? That really brought you comfort.

Even better, you lived in the same apartment building as him. Same floor, just two doors apart. It meant that you were constantly over at his flat spending time with him. He taught you how to play poker and you enjoyed watching movies together and ordering take-out. Javier was a lot of fun.

Maybe, just maybe, you and Javier were spending too much time together. You were catching feelings for him, and shit- he was so sure he had already caught feelings for you.

Javier Peña does not catch feelings. He ran out on his and Lorraine's wedding because he was sure that he felt nothing for her. And she was his fiancée. Now, all of a sudden, he had a thing for the new DEA receptionist who sat outside his office. Only, it was more than just a thing. Javier Peña was in love. The sweet girl he had found to be so caring and compassionate, the angel who had eyes that must've been crafted by the Gods themselves and the softest lips he wished he could kiss.

You had sworn you had never been in love either, until of course, you met Javier. There was no way to explain it. You both just clicked like magnets. There was an electricity that exceeded just mere sexual tension. There was genuine feelings. 

Javier Peña is impulsive and so, when his feelings for you dawned on him, he called up his favourite sex worker; Vanessa. Not only was she good at her job, Vanessa was a good person. She was good to Javi when she didn't need to be, and that was hard to find in 80s drug-torn Colombia.

When Javi had a bad day at work- Vanessa would be at his beck and call. Sex was a way he could release any negative emotions he had. A temporary fix.

That night, you had planned to confront Javier. He had confided in you previously that he had stopped sleeping with women. Deep down, it was because of his feelings for you; although he would never admit that to you. You wanted to tell Javier that you liked him… a lot. But, you stood behind his apartment door, bottle of wine in hand, and heard Javier fucking Vanessa.

You froze up as you overheard their mixed up moans and groans of pleasure, immediately feeling stupid. Why would you believe that you actually had a chance with Javier Peña? He clearly didn't feel the same way about you.

And so you went back to your apartment, climbed into bed and finished the bottle of wine on your own. You closed your eyes and masturbated over him, whining his name as pleasure filled your core. 

And when Javier fucked Vanessa, he had her wear your pale pink lipgloss. He imagined her eyes match your specific shade and as he reached his climax, he wished it was with you. When he came, he screamed your name.

Of course, Vanessa didn't care. A job was a job to her.

After that night, you done your very best to brush away any feelings you once had for Javier. You tried really hard. You were beginning to believe it was a lost cause until CIA Agent Milo approached your desk about a month later.

Of course Javier noticed. He tried to take in the interaction between the two of you, judging from facial expressions as the glass pane in between you was practically soundproof. You were smiling, and you looked happy. Milo leaned against your desk, taking a pen and scrawling something on a sticky note. It was his number.

Jealousy was rife inside of Javi. Maybe Milo was about ten years younger than Javier, and maybe he read more fashion magazines. Although Javier considered himself stylish, you would often tease him for his 70s style wardrobe— an array of brightly coloured button up shirts, the same pair of dark blue denim jeans and pair of yellow tinted aviators. 

Javier knew Milo was no good for you. He reminded Javi of a younger version of himself. Milo was a heartbreaker, and you didn't need that. You needed someone who could look after you. Take care of you in all the ways you needed.

Not only that, but Javier knew what the CIA department was like— especially Milo. He would have nothing but questionable intentions with you. Another one of his sexual encounters that meant nothing to him but everything to you.

It was late on a Saturday evening when you nervously knocked on Javier's door. Just about to light up a cigarette, he stood up and unlocked it. His eyes widened when he saw you, slightly surprised. 

You were wearing a little black dress which clung around all your perfections, and ofcourse, your signature pink lip gloss.

"I haven't seen you in a while," he greeted as you slid past him and into the kitchen. "Want a drink?"

"No thank you." you replied, and Javier shut the front door and followed you into the kitchen.

"So what brings you here?" Javier asked, lighting his cigarette and taking a puff of smoke.

"I have a date with Milo in 45 minutes," you told Javier, awkwardly avoiding eye contact.

"Oh," Javier didn't really know how to respond.

"And, I missed you." you shrugged innocently, beckoning a small smile out of Javier. The blush that crept upon his cheeks didn't go unnoticed by you.

"So, uh, Milo, huh?" Javier questioned, taking another drag of his cigarette. He failed to realise why exactly you had come to see him- 45 minutes before your date.

"Um, yeah," you looked around his kitchen awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. "He's pretty great." you managed to force out. "He was employee of the month like, three months ago."

"Yeah a real sucker upper," Javi rolled his eyes and you gasped, nudging him playfully.

"He is not." You laughed but Javier really wasn't in the mood for whatever you were trying to do here.

"Why are you here?" he deadpanned, cutting your laugh short.

"I…" you frowned, unable to complete your sentence and earning an annoyed sigh from Javi. Maybe you were wrong to come to him.

"I don't think you should go out on a date with Milo." Javi informed you matter-of-factly; stubbing out his cigarette in the ash-tray that was conveniently placed on the kitchen counter.

"Excuse me?" you asked, your voice going uncontrollably high pitched. Javier casually placed the burnt out tab back in his mouth.

"I hear the things they say about you in the office, the sly little comments they make about you." Javier grunted, dismay written all over his face. The cigarette that was balanced in-between his perfect pink lips wobbled slightly with his building up anger. "They're no good for you. No good."

You narrowed your eyes. "No good? Javier, you don't get to be the judge of who is good for me and who isn't." You tried to stay composed but in the heat of the moment, your words came out as a snarl. Javier's dark eyes snapped up to meet yours as he tried to weigh up your expression.

"Shit, I didn't mean it like that." he raised his hands in defense and you folded your arms across your chest, awaiting an explanation for him. "It's just- we're friends, right? And I'm a guy and so, I understand what these other guys are like. And I care about you and-" 

"What if Milo cares about me?" you croaked out. Judging from everything Javier had told you so far, you were beginning to wonder if he was right. You just didn't want to believe it. Your one shot of happiness. Your one chance.

"Milo doesn't care about you." Javier deadpanned.

"Ouch Javi." you shuffled your heels around uncomfortably. You were certain your cheeks were heating up from the shame and you probably looked like an absolute mess in front of Javier. You felt embarrassed for not realising sooner. And seemingly, Javier had caught on to those feelings too.

"You have nothing to feel ashamed about," Javier comforted you, awkwardly reaching out and placing a hand on your back. You shuffled closer to him and he finally pent up the courage to pull you into his chest.

His embrace was warm and you could smell the mixture of his cigarettes and aftershave in his white shirt. You wanted to cry. If you were alone, you would've cried, but you couldn't bring yourself to do so in front of Javier.

"I feel pathetic," you whimpered, fidgeting with his tie. "You know Javi, I'm not very good at this kind of stuff. That's why I came to see you in the first place. I know that- I mean I've heard things about you. You have the experience."

Javier stiffened up and you awkwardly pulled away from him, desperately trying to read his expression in case you said something wrong. "Experience?" he questioned, his dark eyebrows knotting together.

"You- you know," you murmured, closing your hands into a fist and looking down at your feet. "You're experienced and I'm… not."

"I don't understand." Javier replied and you huffed out your cheeks.

"Fuck Javi, are you actually going to make me say it? I'm a virgin."

Javier blinked a few times. The silence was deafening. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

"I- I would've never have guessed."

"Yeah well…" Fuck, this was awkward.

"Y/N, can I tell you something?" Javier prompted.

"I guess?" you replied in bewilderment.

"When I see him talk to you- when I see anyone talk to you… I get jealous. So fucking jealous."

You swore your heart stopped. "Jealous?"

"I see the way they make you laugh and smile- and I curse myself because I wish that was me."

You raised a hand and pressed it into his chest. "Javi…" you didn't know what to say. "I- I came here for… advice. About… you know. Sex."

Javier looked you up and down and rolled his eyes, walking into his living room. When you followed him, he was already slouched into the sofa, nursing a bottle of cold beer.

"What do you need from me?" Javier sighed, feeling defeated that his attempt of admitting his true feelings had become completely lost on you.

"Show me." you whispered nervously, taking a few steps closer to him.

"I don't want to take advantage of you…" Javier trailed off but he was already wishing he could undress you.

"I want you to." you admitted, feeling butterflies erupt in your stomach. 

Javier contemplated for a moment but really, there was no question about it. He had dreamt of fucking you since the moment he first laid his eyes on you. Javier leaned forward and put the bottle of beer on the coffee table.

"Take off your dress and come sit on my lap." Javier instructed and you nodded, sliding out of your dress and letting it pool around your ankles. You went to kick off your heels when Javi interrupted. "No, keep them on."

You nodded with a slight smile. It wasn't long until you found yourself standing completely naked in front of your best friend, and Javi had gotten rock hard from just watching you undress. All his fantasies were alive.

He beckoned you over and you sunk down onto his lap. "Rock your hips over me," Javi mumbled, pressing a light kiss into your ear.

You followed his command and immediately felt a wash of satisfaction as you started to dry hump him through his jeans.

"Javi," you moaned, your eyes rolling back as you grind harder over his bulge.

"That's it, good girl," he praised, fucking a stand of your hair behind your ear. His hand fell down to your chest, grabbing and squeezing at your breasts. "Take what you need."

A huff of air escaped your lips at his words and you buried your head into the crook of his neck. His skin was warm and you could smell the tobacco burnt into his body. But also, there was a sweetness to him, like honey. The scents did not get lost on you. He was your addiction.

You raised your hands to his head, lacing your fingers amongst his locks of dark brown hair. As you increased your speed, you tugged on his hair which earned a hearty groan from Javier's mouth. The noises he made only spurred on your arousal and you felt your cunt getting wetter by the second, contracting around nothing as you began to grow desperate for his cock.

Javier felt his boxer shorts dampen as his precum dripped through the thin material. His big hands roamed your bare back and he knew that pretty soon he'd want to take his pants off. You loved the sensation of rubbing your pussy over his denim jeans, the friction tickling you in just the right ways. You loved the way he would moan or tense up when you occasionally brushed over his erection.

"This feels better than I ever could've imagined." you admitted and your eyes were hazy, glazed with tears as you pushed towards your climax.

"Yeah? Fuck, first times usually aren't this good," Javier grunted as he felt you twitch on top of him, your legs beginning to shake around him. "Can you cum for me?"

"You- you want me to cum?" you blinked, a blush creeping upon your cheeks.

"Please," Javier groaned. "Need you to cum all over me. Make a mess of my jeans."

"Oh Javi," you whimpered, putting more focus on grinding over his hard, defined bulge. It rubbed between your folds and stimulated you in a way that your fingers could never.

"I love it when you say my name," Javier hummed, holding you steady as you rode out your high. You gasped and pressed your lips against his.

He swiped his tongue over your lower lip, begging for entry which you happily granted him. But the second you opened your mouth just slightly, he slid his tongue in and you gasped out another loud moan of his name causing his grip to tighten around you. You came undone all over him, just how he had always dreamt about, whimpering into his mouth. You stopped grinding but stayed still on his lap for a few moments, letting him hold you and kiss you.

His kiss eventually left your lips and he planted sloppy love bites down your neck and along your collarbones. His grip on your breast was soft yet firm and the roughness of his hands made you want to help, especially when he rubbed his thumb over your nipple, pinching it slightly just to see what reaction he could get out of you.

"Your tits are fucking perfect." Javier groaned, licking a stripe down the valley of your breasts. You watched him with eager and excited eyes as he played with you, feeling your cunt drip with your arousal once more.

"Javi," you groaned, tossing your head back.

"What is it?" he responded, a mouthful of your tit. You paused for a moment, letting him suck on your nipples. "What do you need, my love?"

"I need you," you mewled, your toes curling involuntarily when he pulled his mouth away from your nipples with a 'pop' sound. "Need your cock to fill me up."

"Yeah? Fuck you're so dirty… never had no cock before. And you want mine? Are you sure that's what you want, sweet girl?" Javier's mustache brushed against your neck and you giggled at the tickle it gave you.

"Mm yes Javi, wanted this for so long and so bad. Wanted you. I'd hear about all the girls that you fucked and I, I just wanted to be one. One of your little fuck toys." You groaned, pleasure pooling in your eyes.

"My love, you're more than that. You're so much more than that." Javier promised you, gently pushing you off his lap so he could unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans. He stood up, pulling his jeans down, along with his boxer shorts, and you couldn't help but yelp when you saw the way his long thick cock sprung out against his stomach. The tip was red and already leaking for you.

"Oh Javi," you whispered, unable to take your eyes off his manhood. "You're so- you're so big."

"Come here," he curled his finger, gesturing for you to come back over and sit on his lap.

You straddled him again and gasped, feeling his cock press between your folds. You continued to rub over him, this time feeling more freeing as your wetness glided over his erection. "I'm nervous," you admitted. "I want this Javi. I really do, but I've never- done this before." you gulped and Javi planted a reassuring kiss to your lips.

"I'll go gentle sweetheart, I promise. And if it ever gets too much, you can just tell me. Your comfort is the most important to me." Javi whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. "Let me just…."

Javier lowered his hand to your clit and began to rub gently. He closed his eyes, your wetness soaking his fingers with just the smallest of touches. "Already so nice and wet for me," Javier smiled, bringing his fingers up to your lips and pushing them gently into your mouth. He watched you with his dark, lust blown eyes as you sucked your own arousal from his fingers. "How do you taste?" 

"Good," you replied, blushing again and hopelessly fluttering your eyelashes which framed your eyes.

Javier lowered his hand again and you lifted yourself up slightly. He slid his middle finger in, deep, and you were surprised at how well you could take him. He left his finger inside of you for a second before rubbing his index finger against your hole. He looked at you, asking for approval, to which you gave him a nod and smile, and Javier pushed a second finger inside of you. This earned a moan from you, followed by a giggle as he slowly stretched you out by pumping his fingers in and out of you.

Feeling your walls contract around him, he removed his fingers and brought them up to his own mouth, this time tasting you for himself. "Perfect." he corrected you, humming in delight.

Javier reached over to the drawer inside the coffee table and pulled out a string of condoms. He teared open the packet of one and skillfully slid it down his length.

Javier adjusted himself slightly and you lifted off him just a few inches. He reached to his cock and held it upright, before signalling for you to sink down on him. He wanted to let you be in control. He wanted you to start doing it at your own, comforting pace.

The second you sunk down on him, you felt him twitch inside of you and your eyes widened at the unfamiliar feeling fullness. You sat down on him, nudging your nose against his and he kissed you again as you warmed his cock in your pussy.

"So tight," Javier growled, biting down on your lower lip. "How does it feel for you? Is it hurting?"

You shook your head 'no' and Javier offered you a warm smile. "Just- you're just so big."

"Take your time sweet girl." Javier murmured, kissing down your neck.

Slowly, you lifted yourself off him before sinking back down. And repeat. Until eventually you felt like you could build up a steady and comfortable rhythm— you realised you were riding him. Javier buried his head into your breasts as you bounced on his cock, your breathing hitching as you felt every one of his bumps and veins inside of you.

Javier was a mess underneath you, slurring out an abundance of incoherent curses in a wash of satisfaction as your cunt clenched around him. He knew he wouldn't last long.

You straightened up your posture and Javi shuffled backwards a little, leaning into the plush of the sofa cushions. His hips started to snap into yours as he began to meet your thrusts with loud moans. His large hands held you by your waist as he fucked you so perfectly. His cock was buried deep within you, and with every one of Javier's thrusts, he hit your sweet spot.

"I'm close," you gasped as Javier continued thrusting. You felt your heart rate pick up and your legs begin to shake as his balls slapped against your dripping core.

"Me too," Javier concluded, bumping his nose against yours and kissing you passionately. Breaking away to catch breath, he grabbed a fistful of your hair. "Cum with me. 3, 2, 1." 

The second he said '1' you broke on top of him, and Javier's cock pulsed inside of you, his seed spilling into the condom. Your cunt clenched around him, milking him of all his arousal and you were left, a breathless mess, on Javier Peña's lap. His cock slipped out of you and you groaned at the lost feeling of fullness. Javier pinched the condom and took it off before throwing it into the nearby trash bin.

Javier's dark eyes blinked up at you a few times as you both took a few minutes to regain your breath. "How was it?" Javier asked eventually, exhaling shakily.

"Better than I ever could've imagined." you offered him a smile. He always found that your smile was contagious and he couldn't help but grin at you back.

"Listen- what I said to you before- the whole, "I'm into you" thing… if you're not ready, I completely understand." Javier told you.

You couldn't bring yourself to fathom words so you simply just pressed a kiss into his lips. "I'm into you too, Javier Peña." you whispered and felt Javier grin into the kiss, his hands twisting into your hair as he pulled you deeper into him.

Permanent taglist (let me know if you would like to be added!):  @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic 

#Javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier pena smut #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #javi peña #javi pena x reader #narcos #request

[sugar-petals]

SuperM: Their Orgasm Faces

a/n. i’ve written the same scenario for bts and thought this is perfect for these guys as well 💦

warnings ⚠️ multiple rounds, masturbation, loud sex, crying

➸ Taemin Constant little trembles. Puffy lips and a huge back arch. Softly moving hips that know exactly what they’re doing, reacting to your every touch. Balmy moans for the gods, they’re such a giant turn-on. His face looks so soft and relaxes into the pleasure without restraint. And my god, the hair. It’s like an old Italian painting. The voice is just as indulging — all those little “ha...” noises he makes. So lush and super breathy. Long story short: He looks perfect in the unlikely case someone forgot. What more can I tell you. He’s broadcasted it to the entire world at this point. In fact, isn’t Taemin’s entire cinematic work a silk and satin-laced compilation of o-faces? Even his haters can’t deny that. He has the perfect variety, perfect sensuality. Never out of place, never too feeble nor too much. He doesn’t just show that to you in bed, he truly owns it. Taemin’s orgasms are really drawn out, it’s the most amazing spectacle. So much to see: And you never know when the first one ends and the second one starts. He’s that erotic and completely swayed by you. If there’s one person completely in tune with his arousal and amps it up to the maximum, and takes you higher yourself with him, that’s Lee Taemin. He cums more beautifully than anyone you’ve ever seen. Fuck, it feels like you have to write him a ten-page thank you letter for being able to witness that. One word suffices: he’s fantastic.

➸ Taeyong You won’t believe it. He is so handsome, but he tries to hide his face. Or buries his hands in his hair, and twists himself to the side. Sometimes, into a pillow. Othertimes, a blanket or a sleeve. Taeyong doesn’t like his pleasure being seen. He’s not just shy; he’s reserved, delicately cautious. He’d rather have his hair fall into his face and conceal all the sweet emotions that surface. His lips are tightly shut and more often than not, he looks away. Even when he’s by himself getting off to the thought of you, he can’t keep his head up. It’s a shame, but you also figure it’s because he gifts himself to you to be very protected, not judged or consumed. Taeyong needs your guidance and strength. That’s why you hug him and let his face rest in the crook of your neck, and it becomes his favorite spot to lean into when he’s coming. Taeyong is more reassured this way. His eyebrows raise and he’s giving you the most heavenly whimpers. It overwhelms him every time. But that’s the place where he can finally moan it out. His voice is so gorgeous, and desperate, and full of gratitude towards you. When he really trusts you, he’s — god — actually grunting in his deep voice and sometimes meets your eye fleetingly. Or sucks in air and holds it before his whole body erupts. Oh my god. Those thighs are gonna go through an entire earthquake. Truth be told: NCT didn’t lie when they sang about a volcano, did they.

➸ Jongin Come on. The main dancer who has his face all up in a camera every stage, making people worldwide bust a nut by just raising a corner of the mouth. If there’s one person with the best, most intense facial expressions? It’s Kai all the way. Just throw the OSCAR right at him. Matter of fact, we all know he is the king of being absolutely stunning in bed. Jongin always looks like he wants to take you in completely, his entire upper body goes forward. His eyes are deep and glistening, but not fully mysterious. First and foremost they’re hundred percent passion just as you’d expect from him. The brows, the fucking brows! The lips, mumbling, and the jaw is in motion even if you wouldn’t pay attention to it at first. And by contrast, he looks more in love than anyone else. Can we appreciate how romantic Kai’s vibe is? How does he do it? He yearns and calls you babe, the entire face feels twitching and shaky. As if he was suffering from being so enamoured, but it feels so good to him. Every new thrust makes his expression change a bit. How he’s allowing himself to feel you literally paints a living story on his features. Toward the middle and the end of his climax, Kai looks so vulnerable and lost in the pleasure that you gave him or he gave himself. It’s almost like he is underwater. If you ever look into those dreamy eyes... Kai’s orgasm face will put an actual spell on you. Have a guess. The spell is called: Make you even hornier and throw your fucking head back from all that good stuff.

➸ Mark Yeah, uh-oh. The bomb is going off right here. It feels like Mark didn’t fuck for literal months every time even if you had sex the other day. His jaw is hanging open throughout. The eyes wide. Lips shivering, only a little. A bit of saliva is pooling just there. Then, his head falls forward. Hair in his eyes, brows clenched toward the middle. He looks like he can’t believe it, he’s helpless to the power it has over him. His orgasm darts through his body like a thunderbolt. You got it, sex with Mark is exactly that, so electric. It arrives fast and it’s over fast. And it’s massive, catches him off guard so often. A big, sweeping “Ah—h!” that carries him away like a tidal wave. Who’s the living super car in SuperM? That’s Mark Lee who goes through his climax like he’s watching a train speed by. What can he do but curse himself and moan. Something is possessing this poor man. His face looks like he has to keep up with his own damn reflexes. Can you imagine how hard his body is going to clutch if he just cums in one go? And if he tries to kiss you during that? What the fuck Mark! He just never calms down, does he. Or wait — fast forward... oh wonder: He falls asleep only minutes after. His face: now completely angelic. Mark really put all his heart and mind and cum into this one orgasm. This guy has dedication and it shows. He always delivers you one hell of a show. Rumor has it you have a couple videos of it on your phone.

➸ Baekhyun Clenches his teeth so hard. The first you’ll hear is a loud and whiny “nnh!” in the buildup. And that’s when you know he can’t go back. The entire neck seems under pressure. He stares. Gasps for air. The breathing, raw as fuck. Up and down goes that chest all the way against you. In fact, he breathes the fastest in the group. His face gets so heated. All those veins come out. This guy’s blood flow is a new level. Releasing tons of stress and energy. His eyes are squeezed shut as soon as it begins because it’s so strong and relieving, it’s borderline painful. He couldn’t speak for the first five seconds even if he tried. Only the second wave brings out a stifled chain of moans that he surrenders to. On some days, he even starts crying from relief. It takes minutes upon minutes until he cools off entirely. Baekhyun is so orgasmic, he’s all splayed out on the bed afterwards or deeply engrossed in your embrace for endless cuddles. I’m telling you. Should you ever get a second orgasm out of him, he’s gonna be reduced to a puddle. A shaking, sobbing mess that can’t stop wailing. There’s only begging for more in these eyes. It goes without saying that you need the most sound-proof room there ever was because he is at the top of his voice. Baekhyun being loud for you is a natural staple. PS: Mark my words. Should you get him to a third orgasm, he’s gonna be screaming without a pause and his fucking tongue is hanging out. 

➸ Yukhei As if he can ever stop wiggling his brows at you. Did you expect he just lets loose and rolls his eye back? No, no. He keeps looking right at you until the end. Full Xuxi confidence and charisma at play. Lots of nicknames coming at you, he’s gonna say them all. That level of eye contact is gonna get you going big time. You know how large and wonderful his eyes are, like a doe’s. Lucas hardly closes them unless it comes to getting blowjobs. Where he’s gonna look at you very intensely most of the time anyway. Lucas tries to not let the sensations overcome him so he remains present with you. He never really seems like he indulges all the way like Taemin or Kai would. The whole thing is pretty suspicious because he doesn’t fully ease into your interplay of movements. Guess why... at any point, he’s invested in making you cum and keeps on pulling out his magic tricks until you’re getting there. He’s gonna use those big fucking hands (he knows you love ‘em) and goes on and on until he has you there. Yukhei’s personality is all over the place, but he has steely concentration during sex. Not to mention the technique. He’s even gonna go for pushing his hair back as a killing part. No mediocre, he’s doing the most. After all: Lucas cums the best if he just saw you losing it or you’re on the way. Synchronizing your orgasms is difficult, but he puts all his focus into achieving just that. Yukhei is an expert in how close you are after a while, and even starts letting himself fall back into the sheets below you when you release together. 

➸ Ten Perfectly understated. Lids heavy, lips opened just a bit. Elegant, almost, and chesty in tone. He’s the connoisseur. My god. It’s the most gentlemanly someone could ever cum. His forehead is so sweaty as is his hair and back, because if Ten fucks he does it properly, but still. He’s so calm. He could be in your arms for more than half an hour and be fully composed. The focus and self-control is just phenomenal. Completely in the moment, not missing a heartbeat. Which is such a hard thing to do but it’s effortless with him. Ten knows the value of moderation and tension. He’s not keeping his groans in for the whole time and only moans when he comes. Not at all. It’s a different story with him. It all builds up perfectly and comes out freely whenever. He’s actually pretty close to singing, his voice accompanies his breathing in ideal sync. So melodic. Ten is all smitten by you. Nothing is kept in. He looks at you so fondly, he enjoys himself so much. So, it becomes a beautiful loving serenade. His face doesn’t make any sudden or extreme contortions either. The expression moves and changes very slowly, is very easy on the eye. Every minute with him is fulfilling. Ten is all wrapped up in the mood and the groove like it’s business. Prepare to lose your fucking mind, these are new levels of feeling good. Not one awkward moment, just making love. Oh my god are you lucky.

art: The Great Wave off Kanagawa (1829-33) — by Hokusai

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed.

#super m #superm #super m x reader #super m smut #superm smut #super m scenario #kai #baekhyun #taemin #ten #yukhei #taeyong #mark lee #kai smut #taemin smut #baekhyun smut #ten smut #mark lee smut #lucas smut #taeyong smut

[darthkruge]

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Help

Summary: The five times the Senator!Reader needs Anakin’s help but refuses to ask for it and the one time they do

Warnings: Language, reader is afraid of vulnerability, reader is going through it, angst, violence, fluff (it ends on a positive note, I promise)

Words: 4k

A/N: This idea has kinda been bouncing around my head for a hot minute and I finally decided to just go ahead and write it. And somehow it became the longest fic I’ve ever written! Is this self-indulgent? Who’s to say?!

(not my gif)

I.

Okay, so a right, then a left, then another left, then-

You groaned. You’d been going over the cryptic instructions Padme gave you back at the temple but they were, unfortunately, not helping. It was your first time alone in Coruscant and you were completely lost in the painfully literal sense. You had just been given your first actual mission with the Council as a senator, something you’d worked your entire career for. As an added bonus, you were on the same planet as your boyfriend, Anakin Skywalker. 

You’d gotten close over the last year and were elated when he asked you on a date the last time you were in the same place. This was the first time you were together in the two weeks it had been since then. 

Anyway, you were currently wandering around the bustling Coruscant streets, looking for the market. Well, you were looking for the market. Now, you realized you would probably never find it and were just trying to make your way back. 

You debated calling Anakin. You could. He would be able to guide you home easily, you rationalized. But it’s Coruscant! How difficult could it be? If people came here for missions all the time and didn’t get hopelessly lost, so could you! And Anakin was probably busy anyway, you didn’t want to disturb him. Besides, the relationship was so new! You didn’t want to annoy him. After weighing the odds, you pushed down the urge to reach out and decided to just find your own way.

This logic was ridiculous, you realized far too late. Fuck. There was no way around it, you were going to be late. Or at the very least, cut it exceptionally close. You started running, heart racing. It would be so stupid to be late to your first actual Council meeting because you got lost. You wanted them to take you seriously and think of you as a professional. Tardiness as a first impression went against all of that!

After sprinting and taking several aimless turns, by some stroke of magic you found your way to the Temple. You checked the time and realized you had two minutes to make it to up several flights of stairs.

Fuck it. You decided, taking off in a run. You took the stairs two at a time, stumbling occasionally before unceremoniously bursting through the doors to the meeting.

You gulped in air quickly, chest heaving while you desperately tried to calm your heart. You inelegantly brushed a hand through your hair and gave an awkward smile. 

“Hi, uh, everyone! Hi! I’m,” You took a quick break to breathe in some more oxygen as your gaze shifted to Anakin. He looked amused and concerned as he took you in. He gave you a discreet and supportive smile and head nod. You gave your own in return. He believes in me. “I’m Senator Y/N L/N” 

II.

Honestly, you didn’t know how your speeder had broken. You’d been flying them for years and, despite being a senator, you were pretty damn good at it. It was something that gave you solace as a kid, those little moments of freedom. Even then, though, you were a decently cautious person and didn’t break many of them.

Thus, you ended up in your current predicament. Staring at the fried wires under the hood of your speeder, trying to figure out what the fuck went wrong. You knew Anakin was freakishly talented at fixing basically everything. He could probably look at the speeder for 10 minutes, know what’s wrong with it, and get it back to you in perfect shape.

You think this is why you don’t want to tell him. What if he thought you were stupid? Shouldn’t you be able to figure this out yourself? You fought with your instincts, feeling the conflict build inside you.

You knew he wouldn’t judge you. You knew he’d be glad you came to him for help. Even so, you felt physically incapable of moving to call or find him. 

Frustrated, you turned back to your work. You decided to pull this one gear, thinking it might do something. Well, you were right about that. A stream of oil sprayed out of the speeder, coating you in its thick, black paint. You stood there frozen for a second, trying to mentally comprehend that you had just been sprayed with oil because you were too afraid to talk to the man you were in a literal relationship with!!

You groaned, wiping your hands on your pants before grabbing a towel to wipe some of the grease off your face. You walked back into your apartment quickly, praying to the Maker that no one would see you like this. Honestly, they’d probably smell you first and run the other way.

You finally got back without problems and made a bee-line straight to the bathroom. Pulling off your clothes and turning on the hot shower, you sighed as you finally felt the oil washed off your skin. You spent about twenty minutes in there, scrubbing furiously to ensure you didn’t smell like a fucking garage. 

Finally, you went out and saw Anakin sitting on your bed, messing with a piece of wiring. 

“Hey, Y/N! Did you know your speeder was broken? It looks like you blew a cable, easy fix, don’t worry. I’ll have it ready for you by tonight.”

He looked up and saw your exhausted state and the clump of dirty, grease ridden clothes you were holding. 

His brow furrowed, trying to piece it together. “Maker, what happened to you?”

“I had a fight with the speeder. And lost”

Anakin bit back a laugh before his confusion compounded. “Wait, you know I can fix this, right? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I didn’t want you to think I was an idiot. I mean, I did something and broke an entire speeder and somehow didn’t even know what I broke! It’s humiliating!”

“Cables are hard, it’s not your fault you didn’t know what to do, love.”

“Really?” You asked, unconvinced. 

“Really. Come on, let’s go throw those clothes in the wash and I’ll get back to fixing this.”

“Oh, no, Ani you don’t have to-”

Anakin cut you off with a kiss, distracting you enough to quickly take the clothes from your hands.

“I’ll have it ready within the hour, my love.”

III.

Who the fuck decided to put the plates that high up?!

You jumped again and again, arm outstretched as far as possible. Once again, you didn’t even get close. Sighing, you looked around the apartment and noticed a ladder. It looked a bit unsteady but you would be fine, right? You were a whole ass senator, you were sure you could handle an old ladder. 

Pulling it over to you, you climbed up and reached out. Much closer this time, but you still couldn’t reach them. You went on your tiptoes, eyebrows furrowed and lip bit in concentration. You angled your body just a little further, a little further-

The ladder was suddenly ripped out from under you and you desperately shot your arms out, hands clawing to try and stop your imminent fall onto the hard kitchen tiles. Bracing yourself for the inevitable pain, you squeezed your eyes closed. 

“Y/N!!” You heard as your fall suddenly stopped. You opened your eyes and noticed you were barely floating above the floor. Anakin ran toward you and noticed the ladder strewn on the floor beside you. 

“What the hell were you doing?” He said, offering you his hand and pulling you up.

“I was just-” You gesture lamely to the plates, realizing how ridiculous you must look.

“Y/N, no one can reach those! Next time, just call me, I’ll get them for you!”

“But-” You sigh, hating this. “I wanted to be able to do this, I don’t want to rely on you and your Jedi powers all the time”

Anakin’s gaze softened. He knew you had trouble relying on others. Even so, he couldn’t even start to think of what would have happened if he’d arrived home even 10 seconds later.

“I know, baby, I know. But, please, try. You’d have to rely on me a lot more if you break your legs falling off a ladder.” 

“I know” You reply softly, giving him a shy smile. “I’m working on it, I promise”

IV.

You’d been up all night working on a new presentation for the Council. You’d spent hours going over it, the facts, the plans, the details. Everything was set. Well, everything except one little piece. To make your point stronger, you needed the statistics from the latest Jedi missions. 

The only people with access to those were Anakin and Obi-Wan. You knew, logically, that if you asked Anakin he’d give them to you without hesitation. He supported you always and knew that you only used your power as a senator to improve lives. 

Even so, there was that part of your brain that told you he wouldn’t give them to you. He would think you’re just trying to use him for his connections as a Jedi. Or perhaps he simply wouldn’t care enough to search through the reports to find the information.

All of this was, of course, completely inaccurate. But you’d never had someone who actually wanted to help you. It's always been “okay I’ll do this for you but only if you do this for me, too.” No one ever looked out for you and you’d grown accustomed to it. It’d become almost comforting, in a way. At least you knew what to expect. 

This was how you ended up seeing your beautiful boyfriend across the halls of the Jedi temple and walking another way. Your heart tugged painfully and your brain screamed at you. Why don’t you allow yourself to trust him? Why would you assume the worst? Why can’t you fight these thoughts? 

You took one more look back at him. You didn’t want to be closed off by any stretch of the imagination. You wished you could turn off the thoughts and the doubt. You knew Ani didn’t deserve it. You sighed. There he was, training by himself in the courtyard. You looked away and took a moment to compose yourself before your legs carried you away and toward your good friend.

“Hey, Obi-Wan, could you help me with something for the next Council meeting?”

V.

You were running. You were running and as fast as you moved, you never got closer to him. You were never safe. A masked figure was chasing you and you just couldn’t get away. Your legs burned with the effort, your lungs straining to grasp oxygen. You were exhausted to your core, your sheer panic the only thing keeping you awake. 

You looked back and saw the man gaining on you. Tears started streaming down your cheeks. You knew what he was capable of and had no doubt he would kill you if he caught you. You didn’t want to die, not like this. You didn’t want him to beat you. You were so, so scared. You screamed as he caught up to you, your body no longer moving. You pleaded with your legs to work, reasoned with the heavens, did anything you could, and yet you wouldn’t budge. 

The stranger’s claw of a hand twisted around your neck, squeezing. You fought. It was pointless. You began to black out, feeling the life slip out of your body. Dark spots appeared in the corners of your vision and you tried once again to kick your way out of his grasp-

You bolted awake, eyes shooting open. Your chest was heaving and tear stains marked your cheeks. You placed your hands on the bed sheets, bunching them up and trying to feel the texture to remind yourself that you were safe. You tried to breathe, tried to calm yourself but nothing was working. 

You got up, pacing quietly. Out of all the nights to have a nightmare, it had to be today. The one night you and Anakin weren’t together. Since you had to hide the relationship, you couldn’t technically share an apartment. This didn’t stop you from spending basically every night together, though. His chambers became yours after the first month or so of dating, neither of you wanting to spend time apart. 

But, unfortunately, the Council seemed more cautious as of late and you didn’t want to risk it. Thus, you decided to spend tonight apart. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to care right now.  You grabbed one of his Jedi robes, pulling the black fabric around your body. You were immediately calmed by his scent and wrapped it closer around you. You started to make your way down the hall. You knew it was risky but after that nightmare, you just needed him. 

You made it to his apartment, went to knock on the door, and abruptly stopped. What are you doing? You can’t just go to him! He’s exhausted, he’s been working all week! He finally got home from a mission and you want to wake him up in the middle of the night because you had a nightmare? It wasn’t even real! Maker, get a hold of yourself, Y/N! 

Your hand hovered over the door. You wanted him, you did. But those lingering thoughts, those lingering emotions remained. A childhood of neglect, of constant feelings of unimportance left scars you couldn’t avoid. You hated that your parent’s inability to show you affection or care manifested in your inability to be vulnerable. Despite this, you somehow understood. You’d spent years letting them in and only getting invalidated in return. Like all patterns, this one wouldn’t go away just because you wanted it to. 

Now, every time you tried to let Anakin in, it’s like an alarm was tripped in your brain. Every part of you that wanted to allow him to know you was combated with the overwhelming fear that, if you did, if you went to him for comfort or help, he would think of you as a burden. He’d leave, just like the rest of them did. So you pushed the urge for comfort aside, dropped your hand, and made the lonely walk back to your room. 

You got back to your room, mentally beating yourself up. You wished your brain worked differently. You wished you would allow yourself to be loved. You wished you could trust, fully and completely. You sighed. Knowing you wouldn’t be getting any sleep, you made yourself a cup of tea and sat on your cough, the room solely illuminated by the moonlight. You kept Anakin’s robes around you, wishing it was his arms. You sat like that until morning, sipping the drink on and off until it grew cold. You were zoned out, staring out the window at the Coruscant traffic. Your thoughts either drifted to him or your past trauma. Maker, you wished you could change it. 

I.

Fuck. You’d been driving around on your speeder, zipping in and out of alleys, for the last twenty minutes. There was a bounty hunter after you. A damn good bounty hunter, at that. Being a high profile senator, it made sense you’d run into the occasional person trying to kidnap you. Or kill you. 

Damn, this bitch is good. You kept trying to lose them but you couldn’t shake them. You didn’t even  know who they were but it didn’t matter, you supposed. At the end of the day, regardless of who was in that speeder, they wanted you dead. And if you didn’t figure out how to get out of this mess, you would be. 

They’d been shooting at you for a while now but you’d been able to avoid the blasts. Whether it was skill, luck, or a combination of both, you weren’t sure. Even so, you didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t shoot back at them, as you stupidly forgot your blaster. Who could blame you, though? All you wanted to do was go for a ride to clear your head, you didn’t expect to be fucking shot at!

You continued like this for a while. All you had to do was get back to the Temple. You were probably about 10 minutes away if you continued at this pace, 7 if you really pushed it. You looked ahead and saw the walls of it come into view and suddenly safety didn’t feel so far away. Despite the circumstances, a smile graced your face. You could do this. 

Or maybe not. As you tried to swerve between more buildings, they hit you. You felt your speeder plummet 10 feet instantly and screamed. Your engine sputtered and your heart dropped. Mind racing, you tried to drive but came to the chilling realization that there was no way you’d make it back. Your engine was done for, it wouldn’t make it 3 minutes, yet alone all the way back. 

Your mind went to him. Anakin. Fuck, you loved him. You let out a humorless laugh. Since you started dating, you almost never asked him for help. You couldn’t let him in. Something in your brain stopped you every single time. And yet, now, all of that felt stupid. It felt juvenile. When you looked at your speeder, slowly but surely stalling and the bounty hunter approaching, you felt this overwhelming sense of clarity.

You were going to die. This person, they would get to your speeder and shoot you. You didn’t have a single weapon. It was inevitable. Your mind, however, wouldn’t relent. It was stuck on him. In this moment, you pressed the comm button in your speeder, hoping beyond hope that it would still work. 

“Y/N?” Anakin’s staticky voice cut through the speeder and went straight to your heart. 

“Hey, Ani” You said, your voice broken up with unshed tears.

“Y/N? Where are you? What’s happening?”

“I’m- Anakin, I’m in trouble. A bounty hunter is after me, my speeder is hit and going to stop working probably within the next 20 seconds. I don’t have any weapons to defend myself. I, I, uh, I need your help”

“I’m coming to get you, stay where you are.” His voice was firm, his need to protect you overruling everything else in his body. 

“I’m just a few-”

“I’ve got you, love. I can sense you in the Force. I know where you are”

Of course he could. You took a few deep breaths and you speeder sputtered out, stopping in a deserted alleyway. You looked around and saw the bounty hunter, now obviously male, stepping out and making his way towards you. 

“He’s here, Anakin” Your voice was tight, anxious. You were quiet, paralyzed by fear. 

“Please, Y/N, fuck! Hold on, I’m almost there”

“Ani, Anakin I’m scared! Ani! Ani!” You were hysterical now, screaming and sobbing his name as the man punched the top of your speeder, fracturing the glass. He pulled you out of it by the hair and threw you harshly onto the concrete. 

You yelped in pain as he kicked you directly in the ribs. He backhanded you across the face, the power from his hit making blood pool in your mouth. Harshly you spit it onto the ground, looking up at him with pure hate. 

He placed the blaster to your head, right on your forehead. You let your eyes flutter closed. Your knees were scraped, legs bruised. You were sure at least one of your ribs was broken. You could feel blood running from your temple. Your arm was radiating pain from landing on it. Despite all this, the only thing you thought of was Anakin. Funny, you thought, how the brain chooses what to focus on in its last moments. All you hoped was that he didn’t feel responsible for your death. All you hoped was that he knew you loved him. 

“You’re finished, Senator”

“I don’t think so” Anakin’s smooth voice, tight with anger, cut through the air. His lightsaber unsheathed, he swung it directly into the man. You gasped, everything happening so quickly. As soon as the blaster was gone from your forehead, you scrambled back. 

Anakin walked up to you but, from the shock, you pulled back even further. 

“Hey, hey, it’s me, it’s Anakin, okay? I’m not gonna hurt you”

You whimpered, looking at him and placing a hand on his jacket before harshly jumping into his arms. He gripped you to him, both of you sighing in relief. 

“You came for me” 

He looked at you like you were insane. “Of course I did! You needed me, you called! I’m always going to be there for you, Y/N. I am always going to show up”

“Thank you” You said, voice muffled against his chest. His hands raked through your hair while you just breathed him in. His scent comforted you, his strong chest and large arms grounding you after a day so intense and horrifying that nothing felt real. 

You were still trembling, the aftershocks quite apparent. 

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you. You’re safe, he’s dead, he’s gone. No one’s ever gonna hurt you again, I promise.” Anakin whispered these affirmations into your hair, holding you until the shaking ceased. 

“Thank you for calling me, Y/N. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

“It wasn’t that hard, to be honest, I- wait? What do you mean, you know it couldn’t have been easy for me?!”

Anakin looked at your sheepishly. “You honestly think I haven’t noticed your problems with asking for help? We’ve been together for almost a year and, contrary to popular belief, I can be quite perceptive. I didn’t want to call you out on it, I assumed you’d be embarrassed. But I’m glad that when it actually came down to life or death, you called me.”

“I’ve always known I could call you, Anakin. Please, I don’t want you to ever think my inability to be vulnerable is rooted to anything you do. You’re, fuck, you’re perfect. You’re kind and compassionate and caring and you’re always looking out for me. Look, I know I haven’t been too open about my past and I still struggle with that. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve never had someone who actually wanted to be there for me. This thing where you care and want me to come to you when I’m hurting or simply just want affection or company or help with the little things, it’s foreign to me.”

Ani’s heart broke at your words. “I’m sorry I didn’t know you back then, Y/N. I hate that this” He said, gesturing between you both “is unique to you. But, seriously, anytime you need anything I’m someone you can come to. I honestly want you to come to me. Regardless of if you think it’s something small or this life-altering favor, ask me. I doubt I’d turn you away and, on the off chance I do, I’m not gonna hold that against you.”

“You won’t leave? Even if I show you all of me? Even if I rely on you?”

“I won’t leave you, beautiful. So long as you allow me to show you all of me, too. And you let me rely on you, too.”

Your eyes widened at his words. “Of course! Of course, Ani! I’m here for you, I got you, too, always.”

“I know you do” His flesh hand went up, cupping your cheek. 

“I know you do, too.” You sighed into his touch. You were exhausted beyond belief, your body and mind pretty much shutting down from the stress of it all. Even so, you relaxed further into his body. Yeah, this was new. Yes, it was scary. But you were going to try. Even though it terrified you, you wanted to be loved. You wanted to be loved by him.

--

tagging julia bc she asked when i was textpost-complaining about having to edit this <3

@anakinswhore 

#megan writes #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x gn!reader #anakin skywalker x gender neutral reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker imagines #anakin skywalker angst #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #anakin skywalker

[cheri-translates]

CN Qixi Greetings - Victor’s Voice Actor

The actual video is too large to be shared on Tumblr so here’s the link!

🍒 Warning: References are made to Victor’s Undeclared Date (translated by @itaruchi-trash​) 🍒

More Interviews: Gavin l Kiro l Lucien l Shaw

Wu Lei: Hi everyone, I’m Wu Lei. I voice Victor in MLQC. How have you been? Have you been happy with our Old Vic recently? I came across a quote in Weibo which said that no matter how good of a friendship you have, everyone disappears once you start dating. Judging from CEO Victor’s packed schedule in the first half of the year, I have deeply experienced the logic in that phrase. Putting that aside, the annual Qixi Festival is coming soon. I wonder what surprises our CEO Victor has prepared for you *smiles cutely*. Make a guess? Are you able to guess? Are you looking forward to it? *shakes head* I won’t say anything.

Wu Lei: *laughs* Okay, I won’t hide it. Actually, I have no idea either. I have no idea what surprises there are. 

Comment: The producers already know what it is.

Wu Lei: Fine. As expected, you’re more important. 

Question: Are you able to share any interesting stories that happened while working on MLQC in the first half of the year?

Wu Lei: *changes his voice to the high-pitched voice he used when pretending to be the three-headed dragon in Undeclared Date* They’ve been asking me to do difficult things recently. They wanted me to do something at one moment, and another thing in the next. I said that I couldn’t do it. But they insisted that I could. After much effort, I managed to do it. Then, they said they wanted to change the direction. *sighs* They can’t be exactly the same. Hmph. So I said that if they wanted to continue being like this, I’d report it to Victor. 

Question: What have you been talking to Victor about over drinks recently?

Wu Lei: *voice returns to normal* You know this. It’s definitely about work. He’s CEO Victor. As the name implies, he’s CEO Victor. All of us know that CEO Victor has lots of experience in the business world. No matter how good your relationship is with him in private, you can’t let this opportunity pass by. Trust me. So in the area of business, I’d ask him many questions. That’s all.

Question: Does Teacher Wu Lei have anything to say to the producers?

Wu Lei: As always, I’m grateful for your love towards Victor. Actually, I believe that no one is completely perfect. Everyone has their own weaknesses. Our Victor is the same. He simply looks more mature and composed than we do. But I believe he’s just like us. He needs care and concern. He needs to be understood. He looks like he doesn’t need them, but that’s not really the case. Victor is someone we need to spend more time and effort in order to experience his world, and figure out that genuine person in his heart. I believe that love is a kind of responsibility. How should I put this. There may be many things that don’t need to be said aloud, and yet you’ll know them. But this isn’t an easy thing to do. Love is something that requires much time, and years of company. It also needs some chemistry in order to be attained. So I believe we feel the same way. Love can be seen, and it can be touched. 

Wu Lei: And love... exists in time. 

Wei Lei: The Qixi Festival is coming. I wish you and Victor a Happy Qixi Festival. I wish the both of you health and a happy life ahead. And may you get to eat delicacies every day. 

#mlqc #mlqc cn #he's my second favourite VA HAHAHA #REALLY FUNNY #AND REALLY TALENTED

[luna-the-moth]

Mammon with a Shy Singer (SFW)

Hello love! Ehe, I write short fics once in a while, but they’re mainly bursts of inspiration. Before this was sent, yes, short fics were allowed to be requested, but it turns out, a short fic steals all my spoons for a few days. So, I adjusted my rules yesterday. From now on, please only send requests for headcanons or scenarios!

This will be in hc/scenario form! GN! Reader, SFW. Asks and requests are open, but please read my rules and guidelines before doing so!

Reblogs, likes, and comments are greatly appreciated!

Mammon with a Shy Singer (SFW)

Mammon was always known to be the life of the party, hyping everyone up and keeping things interesting.

He had a penchant for creating music once in a while, specifically rap music.

-gestures to his character song-

Whenever a rave or concert happened, he would always bring you as his plus one, singing along with the main act.

Which, drew his fandemons’ attention to him, but there was often security preventing them from flooding him, so there wasn’t much to worry about.

There was one occasion he had asked you to join in, but you had declined, self consciousness clouding your decision.

Which, Mammon completely understood.

Well, he pouted and whined for a few moments, but let it go relatively quickly.

We all have things we aren’t proud of, or don’t want to show to others.

The thing is, you didn’t think your singing was bad.

In fact, your voice was quite lovely, you were merely self conscious about singing in front of others.

As a hobby, you had written multiple songs, in private.

While you had thought they sounded nice, the thought of singing in front of others made you freeze up.

It’s just, having people look at you while singing made you nervous.

Judging eyes, watching your every move, even the thought of it made you cringe.

So you had written and sang in private, hidden from any intruding eyes or ears.

However, as time went on, you grew feelings for the Avatar of Greed.

Sure, he may steal people’s Grimm, act all high and mighty, but that’s exactly why you loved him.

Because it was an act.

And a very poor act, you might add.

While he always pulled a tough, macho, entitled act, it would only take a few words of affirmation to get him blushing.

He deserves it, though!

After all, being belittled and knocked down by his brothers 24/7 is tiring, and wore down his self esteem.

Which left him with the cocky defense mechanism we see today.

But after you had shown him genuine kindness and affection, his facade had crumbled away, revealing a soft, love-starved demon.

How could you not have fallen in love with him?

The problem is, you didn’t know how to confess.

Sure, you could write him a love letter or text him, but you felt that it was too generic, too basic.

So why not write a song, professing your love for him?

You would nudge away your shyness, and confess your love for him at the same time!

Hitting two crows- uh, birds with one stone!

Over the next few weeks, you carefully picked out your favorite lines from various books of poetry, adjusting them to fit the mood you were going for.

You weren’t going for a full-out love-sick ballad that gave you cavities, more like something sweet, lighthearted, and conveyed your message effectively.

In the meantime, this meant you were spending less time with Mammon.

As you can probably guess, it didn’t go over well with the Avatar of Greed.

I mean, it’s in the name, Avatar of G r e e d.

It didn’t just apply to money, as others had assumed.

No, it extended to your time and love as well, which frankly, you weren’t going to complain about.

But it was difficult, dodging his inquiries on where you were going, and why.

Luckily, Asmo covered for you every time, letting you stay in his room for ‘self care’, when in fact, you were composing your music.

Which, you supposed is a form of self care?

Pouring out your emotions into your music is a way of self care, right?

Asmo was your wingman, cheering you on and helping you perfect certain verses, and helping you with the occasional vocal warm up.

Day by day, you gradually built on your piece, tweaking and changing notes and pitches as necessary.

Mammon on the other hand, was growing increasingly anxious, insecurities starting to bubble up again.

Was he not good enough?

Did you prefer Asmo to him? You’ve been spending a lot of time with him after all.

He started spending more time at the casino, drowning his sorrows in the rolling of dice.

After all, he didn’t want to trouble you, thinking you might start seeing him as an annoyance, a pest.

Meanwhile, you had been polishing up the lyrics of your song, finally ready to confess.

So on the day of your confession, you had caught Mammon right before dinner, gently grabbing his arm before he rushed out the door.

“Hey Mammon, wait. Could you come with me to my room real quick before you leave? There’s something important I need to show you.”

With softly spoken words and a subtly pleading expression, you had given him a shy attempt at puppy eyes.

He was about to give you a weak, snarky remark, but how could he, now that you looked at him with such an adorable expression?

It’s not like he could ever say no to you, anyways.

Not just because of the pact either.

During the first week of your stay at the Devildom, Mammon had been smitten.

You were kind to him, and didn’t use harsh words to order him around.

Hell, within a month, you had already won over his heart, and soul.

(That is, if demons have souls. OM canon is a clusterfuck, so do correct me in the comments if I’m wrong.)

Over the past few weeks that you’ve been songwriting, he had grown lonely, wanting your affection and attention.

So the moment you had asked for his attention, he wanted to immediately latch on, but wanted to stay away at the same time, not wanting to seem desperate.

Mammon had ‘reluctantly’ agreed, to which you gently tugged his arm, motioning him to follow you.

When he had entered your room, you motioned for him to sit on the bed, nerves starting to build up in your mind.

Exhaling quickly, you reached for the guitar next to your desk.

Gently strumming the guitar, you poured your heart out to him.

How you adored his soft heart, his protective nature, and that he would always be, your dear guardian.

During your performance, Mammon’s eyes were wide, he was just so surprised that you were singing, and in front of him

If that didn’t make his pride swell-

The entire time you’re singing, he listens to every word flowing out of your mouth, treasuring each message.

Your voice was so soft and gentle, he nearly fell asleep at the comforting lull.

He’s grateful that you sang to him, and trusted him enough to sing in front of him.

After all, he knows how difficult it is to open up to someone on a subject you’re shy or self conscious about.

By the time you’ve finished singing, Mammon’s mouth is slightly parted in awe, eyes blurry with tears.

He’s so touched that you did such a heartfelt thing for him, and that you put the time and effort into making a song out of all things.

Setting the guitar down, you look at him nervously.

“Well...what do you think?”

Mammon walks over to you, letting your face rest in the palm of his hand, wrapping the other around your waist.

“That was the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done fer me. I’m glad ya trust me enough to sing ta me. I love ya, Y/n.”

Gently kissing the crown of your head, he pulls you in for a tight, comforting embrace, a stray tear falling from the corner of one of his angelic eyes.

#my writing #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me scenario #obey me headcanon #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x reader obey me #mammon fluff obey me #obey me fluff

[jenomark]

A-Z Analysis of Chenle

💚 Smut

💚 18+

💚 This is only fantasy

A ⇥ Aftercare

  He’ll feel like a million dollars. Smugness isn’t in his nature when it comes to sexual pleasure, but he’ll be glowing like a God when you’re finished with him. Needs a little time to rest and compose himself. Hates being caught with his pants around his ankles, so to speak. Wants to come back and hold you after catching his breath and wiping his sweat. A large part of him likes being lazy in love. Doesn’t want to leave the bed after sex. If he does, it’s to get the food that he’s ordered and that’s it.

  B ⇥ Body Part

  This isn’t a question he cares about. Of course he loves himself and everything that comes with the package of Zhong Chenle. His confidence is always sexy and alluring. His favorite part of you is your eyes, honestly. Likes to stare into them deeply, always trusting the softness you give back to him. In the bedroom, he doesn’t shy away from any part of your body, even if you hate it. Doesn’t highlight your insecurities in an obvious way. Is careful with the way you feel, but he’s definitely appreciating every last bit of you.

  C ⇥ Cum

  Feels very masculine and brilliant after he cums. Has had to get used to pleasuring someone in a different way other than through penetration. The effort it takes to get you to come is something he really likes. He ends up feeling accomplished, especially if it happens faster than he thought. His facial expressions always betray his emotions in this moment.

  D ⇥ Dirty Secret

   There are things he’s shameless about wanting or needing. Wanting you as you come means wanting you when you’re dirty and messy, when you’re already tired and sore. Is also the type to have sex at any time of the day when the mood strikes him. He’s a pretty simple guy.

  E ⇥ Experience

  Realistically, he has zero experience. He likes pleasure and the idea of giving pleasure to someone else through love and intimacy, but it’s not a priority. Believes there is plenty of time for that. Really looks forward to it, too. Parenthood is also tied into his life fantasies.

  F ⇥ Favorite position

  Him on top. Making eye contact is important to him. He likes to make you feel flustered. He likes for you to feel his body weight and heat. It’s also really romantic, and he gets to be in control. 

G⇥  Goofy

  Sex with him would be fun and stress-free. He’s the perfect person to go to when you want to work on all of your physical problems. He allows people to be themselves around him, as long as he gets to see them and witness it. Good with taking your bad energy and getting rid of it. Sex with him is always an exchange of something (energy, love, time)

  H ⇥ Hair

 He wants more body hair than he has. He has all of these ideas about being rugged and sexy, even though he’s already comfortable with the person he is. Will consider shaving or trimming if you ask, but a part of him would be hurt by it. Doesn’t expect you to do what he wants and is okay with it. Natural is nice. He would never want you to do what you don’t want to do.

I ⇥ Intimacy

  Since he’s honest with himself, he’s open to letting sex be as intimate as possible. The only time it wouldn’t be an intimate affair is if he’s just having sex for the sake of pleasure rather than love. He can separate those two things, but once he knows you don’t want love, he might shut himself off to it. He’ll give his body and nothing more.

  Intimacy always means laughing. If you can’t laugh at yourself, it will turn him off. 

    J ⇥ Jack Off

   Doesn’t masturbate that often (surprisingly), but he’s explored his body enough to know what he likes and needs. Is a pro at not being caught by anyone. 

K ⇥ Kink

  He doesn’t have very many kinks. It’s not his thing, but he’s open to the idea of learning without judging. Kinks in the way social media sees them haven’t really entered his radar. It would be fun to teach him.

L ⇥ Location

  Will have sex anywhere he feels like it. Of course, it will have to be somewhere legal, and somewhere he feels comfortable. Is the type to get horny completely out of nowhere. Has no problem having sex in the midst of cleaning on a Sunday afternoon. His favorite location is at a place he owns himself, though. He has this idea of breaking in his furniture with sex and love, with someone who loves him as much as he loves them.

M ⇥ Motivation

 Turned on by really strong women with masculine energies. He knows people well and can get under their skin. Someone who cuts off his efforts and serves it right back will catch his attention. Also turned on by someone taking care of him and making him feel insignificant. He’s easily charmed by all of that.

N ⇥ No

 Turned off by a lot of things he considers normal (things that the average person is turned off by). Not into stubborn and selfish lovers. Doesn’t want to feel forced when he’s trying out new sexual positions. 

O ⇥ Oral

  He loves oral sex. He loves to sweat between your legs, holding onto your thighs as his tongue dips in and out of you. Has to look at you often to see how you’re reacting. Feels the oddest bit of romance if you suck his dick at night, and he has no idea why.

P ⇥ Pace

  Sexually, he likes to set the pace and be in control. In a perfect world, you both meet each other halfway, but it’s okay if you’re not someone who can do that. He’s so good with creating safe spaces.

Q ⇥ Quickie

  Loves quickies!!!! Sex should be fun, because that’s always how he’s seen it portrayed. There should be no timeframe when it comes to love, so he’s down for taking breaks out of the day to get down to it.

R ⇥ Risk

  He’s too intelligent to be risky. He knows the consequences of getting caught aren’t worth it. Risk will find its way to him, though. His thoughtfulness plays with the idea of impulsiveness sometimes. He might say no one day, but when opportunity arises, he changes his mind.

S ⇥ Stamina

 Enough stamina to make you cum. That’s really all you need to know.

T ⇥ Toy

  He will not be the one to introduce toys into the bedroom. He likes it best when it’s just him and you. He would try it out on you, if it’s what you wanted.

U ⇥ Unfair  

  He’s always teasing you, sexually and non-sexually. He likes having the upper hand. Watching your tongue stick out of your mouth when he slows down the pace and doesn’t give you what you want is all fun for him.

V ⇥ Volume

 Though his voice is normally loud, he gets kind of quiet during sex. A lot of heavy breathing and grunting, but nothing too wild. Contemplates a lot. Ends up talking to you in soft whispers, mostly loving words of encouragement.

W ⇥ Wild Card

  He won’t show you that he loves you with his hands. His mouth will move over you, his lips full of need. He’ll hope for the swell of your body moving upwards to meet his mouth. He’ll hope you understand what he’s saying without having to say it. “Tell me you need me.” Chenle will say impatiently. His lips will stop and his eyes will wait. His pupils will darken. You won’t show him with your hands either. “ I need you.” you’ll say. Chenle will dive deeply into you, fingers moving inside of you to finally scratch the itch you’ve had since you first laid eyes on him. Chenle will laugh and you’ll relax a little, grasping onto his shoulders, before wrapping your arms around him, and opening your legs to let him inside.

X ⇥ X-Ray

No matter what size he is, he’s proud. 

Y ⇥ Yearning

  Has a decent sex-drive. Because there is a part of his energy that’s a little addicting, he’ll end up fighting you off of him because you’ll want to fuck him all the time.

  Z ⇥ ZZZZ

 Falls asleep straight away, if you have no plans after sex. Looks the most peaceful he’s ever looked, too.

#chenle #zhong chenle #nct #nct dream #chenle smut #zhong chenle smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct a-z analysis #chenle a-z analysis #finally decided to do his #don't read if you're not comfortable!!!

[littlefreya]

The Crystal Ship - Part 1

Summary: Henry is the most dangerous crime lord in England, he has everything he wants and women throw themselves at his feet, but what really gets him off is what’s hard to get.

Pairing: AU! Mafia Boss!Henry Cavill x OFC (Ash)

Word count: 4.8K

Warnings: Smutty Smut, MaleDom Vibes, Stripping, Bad language, Sexual innuendo, dry humping, bodily fluids.

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write this for a while and I only hope you guys will like it. As usual, I am nervous. It was supposed to be a one-shot but ended up being longer than I expected so I am dividing it into two parts for now. Many thanks to @agniavateira my sweet beta and helpful muse. Cover designed by me.

Please leave feedback  💖🥺 and more importantly, enjoy.

Title: The Crystal Ship

The sweet, smoky scent made his nose curl in repulsion. It was thick in the air, like a fruit that was too ripe, mere moments before rot sets in. Henry dreaded coming to the Imperial, even though it was the only safe ground to conduct business without having to deal with the district attorney's snout or any unwelcome eavesdropping. The club felt musty, drenched with bodily fluids and not in a good way. The men who frequented this place were foul animals; being amongst them made him feel as if their filth was rubbing onto him. 

Sitting at the bar, he downed his whiskey, hissing while the fiery liquid hit the back of his throat. The bartender stood behind the counter, polishing some glasses and looking at the large man as he brooded on the sleek black marble of the counter.     

Plastic neon lights flickered magenta and turquoise on the slick surface. An offensive contrast to the gloom that played inside Henry’s head. Life lacked vividness when everything was handed over on a golden tray. Money, beautiful women, fast cars. 

The women of the club were especially keen on throwing themselves at his feet, thirsty for his attention and money which he was never willing to give.

“Please fuck me, Henry.” “Please let me suck your cock.”

As any man, he was flattered, though if he wanted to see a woman naked, he wouldn’t need to pay for it. Still, they circled him, desperately whining at his feet whenever he stepped into the club.

All except for her. 

Big, almond-shaped eyes the colour of fertile light brown earth with a touch of green. Sitting on a barstool in the opposite direction. She was one of the girls working the club, no doubt. He didn’t imagine she was a gangster wearing fishnet stockings and a tight corset.

New girl, he gathered. He had never seen her pretty face before tonight. It was apparent she could sense his glance. Her body shifted uncomfortably, her irises focused on the straw of her tall glass of orange juice yet she never bothered looking back. Not even a smile on her nude lips. 

Henry scoffed as a spike of interest surged through his mind. He spotted the long-haired beauty earlier as he sat through an infuriating meeting. Her big hazel eyes cut into his attention abruptly, focusing on his glare for a wisp before she swung away. 

Treating him as if he was a nobody.

She chose to ignore him, much to his contempt. 

Girl likes to play tough? Well, I happen to like bending things in my hands.

-----------

Ash felt her hand prickle as she waited on the bar stool. Sipping on an orange juice, she watched as an ageing rich couple made out on a red vinyl booth while a curvy girl danced on their table. Candy-Apple, the girl who she was paired with for the night, disappeared to one of the VIP rooms with a customer. Instructed her to wait and not to take any customers alone, being still a trainee. 

The Imperial had some strict dos and don’ts. 

Little did Candy know, Ash had the miraculous gift of getting herself into sticky situations and for reasons she couldn’t explain, tonight felt like one of those nights. 

Taking another sip, she exhaled nervously, the corset tight around her ribs, further pushing her already strangled lungs. It was her very first shift and she seemed to have fallen on a busy night. The customers were not too pushy, though. No one has smeared himself onto her while holding a pitcher of beer and smelling of peanuts on their breath. Candy promised that the owners won't touch the girls and don’t let anyone else touch them either. The Imperial might be a “gentlemen’s” club, but it was one of the safest joints for girls to work at in London.

It didn’t do anything to calm the anxiety that waited at the door as she felt the presence of the tall stranger who kept his eyes on her for the last couple of hours. 

She “bumped” into him earlier as she walked around the ground floor. Broad shoulders and a face that looked as if it was put together from all the best parts found in heaven. He sat with three other men, looking like the superior one in the group. Fury burned in his eyes, yet his posture was composed which only made him look more frightening. It was a mistake to gander, she knew it deep in her heart, but he was an impressive specimen of a man. She couldn’t look away, not soon enough before their eyes met.

Now he was sitting a few meters away. A spiced drink sits in his glass, a ghost of a smile loomed over his face while his fingers were pressed to his temple in some sort of dark intrigue. He stared with the confidence of a man who knew he could have everything and it seemed like she fell on his aim.

Feeling uncomfortable, Ash broke her gaze and slipped off from her seat, wishing to find a place where she could hide from his hungry curiosity. This man had trouble written all over his arrogant posture and if she learnt anything about herself, it was that she was a magnet for chaos. She turned on her stilettos and crouched down for a second to rearrange the fishnet stockings around her thighs before straightening up moving on.

In the most natural order of things, the stranger was there to stand in her way. 

Broad and mysterious, the man towered above her with a small smile edging his mouth. Up close, she noticed his copper-brown curls and eyes like smooth steel. They shone like sharp knives through the club’s neon lighting. His jaw was cut marble, defined lines soared across his high cheekbones and even his lips had the perfect cupid’s bow. 

Ash registered him carefully and her heart murmured. No man should be this good looking; he was beautiful in manners that seemed unearthly.

“May I buy your precious time, love?” 

His voice hung low and deep, smooth like a chocolate truffle that melted on one’s tongue. 

The scent of danger filled Ash’s nostrils; it smelled like peated scotch, aftershave, and heady musk. Judging by his cool-grey tailored suit, it was quite clear that he was a businessman from the underworld kind.  

He burnt hot, and a part of her was immediately drawn to the flame. Yet despite the thrill, he seemed much more perilous than any of the other criminals who lurked around the club. This man could easily fuck up some poor girl’s life. 

In the dark cold cavern of the club, with his shadow casting over her face, the stranger seemed more like Hades than just the ordinary mobster.   

“Maybe some other night”, she forced herself to refuse, doing her best to sound polite yet stern while offering an apologetic smile in the hope that he would accept her refusal and let her go. 

She knew right away that wouldn’t please him. It was clear as vodka; he wasn’t a man who took no for an answer. The thought alone made her nerves shiver as if someone was sliding ice on her skin.

Henry ran his knuckle across the dimple of his chin. The signet ring on his pinky finger flickered on her hazel eyes in blinding silver. He took her in with a deep inhale. No, not even a drop of appreciation on her pretty face but he did detect a tinge of fear.

Interesting he mused, a small grin stretching his defined lips. The little dark-haired woman was either completely oblivious to who he was, or she was one of them ladies who had principles. 

Whichever it was, it spiked his intrigue and made for a curious turn of events in a very boring night.

“Isn’t that what you do, darling? Dance for money?”

He asked as he waved two £50 bills between his long fingers as an offering. His accent was posh and not a fake one either. She imagined he grew up wealthy. How does a man who presumingly, could achieve everything in life wound up into a place like this, she wondered. Not that the Imperial club was anything sort of sleazy. It was owned by the largest underworld family and had a taste of an old cabaret. Male celebrities often visited the club aside from gangsters and corrupt politicians.  

“It’s my first night I’m not really...”

Henry reached into his pocket, drawing six more £50 bills and offered it to her. The steel in his eyes softened for a moment, yet the peril still hovered on his face. 

He was a man trying to appear harmless and the risk never seemed so alluring.

Chewing on her cheek, she stared at the money. It was enough to stock the fridge for at least a month but it wasn’t as even half as seductive as her stranger’s haunting charm. 

Fuck it.

Taking a deep breath, her slender fingers reached toward the hand that held the cash. She snatched the money from between his digits and tucked it in her garter belt. Henry beamed, pleased that she agreed. Two large dimples creased his cheeks as if this man needed any more attractive features.

Ash wrapped her fingers around his wrist and led him through the depths of the club while her heart thundered in her chest. For some reason, it felt as if she was walking freely into a trap. 

And yet, excitement boiled in her blood. 

The cracks between their silent contract were filled by the beats of the monotonous music. They passed by the abundance of half-naked women who were coaxing different men around the bar, touching and smiling sweetly, serving them with nothing but the illusion that they are wanted, when in fact they were needed for nothing but a paycheck. 

Henry followed the petite woman, anticipation coating his veins and spiralling a small grin on his face. He guessed that without her heels she’d be at the height of his shoulder, this pretty little thing with raven black hair. He was intrigued by the way she bravely withstood him, almost to the point of irritation. It seemed as if his spell was useless on her as she carried herself carelessly, unlike the many women who threw themselves at his feet, begging to be fucked.   

There was something provoking in her, to the extent of him willing to break another one of his own rules and get a sense of what she felt from the inside. 

Her fingertips pressed on his wrist, sensing the pulse within. His heart ran strong and confident but she imagined it would only be a matter of time until she’d have him a complete mess. 

They all have the same weakness, no matter how much power they have. 

The large spacious club narrowed into a slim corridor while teal and magenta-coloured lights danced diagonally across a mirrored tunnel. Their own reflections appeared several times, accompanying them as they arrived in an open room, guarded by a huge, square-shaped bodyguard with a shaved head, chewing on the dead skin of his thumb.

Henry eyed him carefully, giving him a small nod before following her into the room. The interior was dark, with a black ceiling and a black shiny floor, embellished with white LEDs that reflected on her red stiletto heels. An onyx leather couch waited in the middle next to a small edge table holding plenty of bottled hard liqueur.   

“Make yourself comfortable.” She gestured toward the seat and shut the door behind her, taking a deep breath as she felt a slight increase in her heartbeat. In the confinement of the small space, the brooding man had the energy of a lion, hazing her senses and making her feel like nothing more but a fluffy little rabbit. 

The leather squeaked beneath his weight as he shifted slightly, wide thighs spread open while he glanced at her rear. She turned to tinker with the stereo system, selecting a tune to dance to. 

Browsing through the selection of beverages, Henry decided to treat himself to a bottle of smoked whiskey. He unturned a clean lowball on the table, the sharp hiss making her flinch and then slump her shoulders at the sound of thick liquid being poured. The odour of spiced ashes filled the room, mixing with his musk and her sweet perfume.  

“Should I pour you one as well, pet?” 

“I would rather not drink on the job,” she replied and pressed play. Soft synth tunes played through the speakers and Ash turned to him slowly, giving him a seductive glance. 

“Depeche Mode, really?” He crooked an eyebrow and smiled with amusement before pressing the glass to his lips and eyeing her carefully.

“I thought this song is fitting for my first VIP client” she answered, and made sensual steps towards him, already feeling captive by the daggers on his eyes. Henry took another sip of the amber-gold drink and placed his glass aside, pressing his fingers against his temple while examining the woman who was running her hands over her corset.

“You’re my first too.” 

“Bullshit,” she mocked, entering into the space between his knees. 

Henry tilted his head, a small warning glare crossing his chiselled face. “Mind your tongue, sweetheart. You’re a lady, act like one.”   

She bit her tongue, avoiding the small tremor that flapped from her chest all the way up to her throat like a tiny caged bird. The dominance and authority in his voice made her shiver, making her feel as if she was owned by more than just his money. She wondered what made a handsome man like him even bother paying for something he could get for free from any woman he wanted.

“Fuck,” she provoked, keeping the fear on her breath tucked well behind a sweet sultry smile. She took joy in the dissatisfaction that danced on his face as she cursed. “You know how this works, then?”

“You take off your clothes and dance on my lap like a good girl?” 

“I can touch you, you don’t touch me.” she warned, and slowly fell to her knees between his thick thighs, following the hollowed drop in the melody. Henry stared down at her with a pleased look on his face, his eyes hued with wanton as she rolled the laces of her corset between her fingers and unwrapped herself like the sweetest present. 

It wasn’t her first time giving a lap dance. She worked in strip clubs outside of London, but those were much smaller clubs that held no more than 40 guests. And none of her customers looked like Big Handsome Boss. 

“That seems unfair,” he answered as she spread her corset open. Her perked nipples teased through the loosened fabric while she gave him a pouty look and pulled at the laces delicately until she was free of the confinement of her bodice. 

Henry shifted in his seat uncomfortably while she revealed her body to him. Small breasts glowed heavenly in the LED lighting, skin pure and smooth like honey. He was forced to reach a hand to adjust the huge bulge that pooled with arousal while her fingers began stalking up to his knees like two big spiders. 

Big boy, she noted, trying to deny the small electric tingle that ran mischievously between her legs.  

“Many things in life are unfair, Mister…”

“Henry.”

“Henry,” she answered, her French-manicured nails scratching his thighs, eliciting a low growl from him that made her spine crawl. “Not that I imagine that a man like you would know.”

He let out a small chuckle, she wasn’t far from being right. The hardest thing in his life right now was the fact that a beautiful nymph was dancing between his thighs and he wasn’t allowed to touch her. Yet.

The little vixen clutched his thighs tightly and pushed herself up steadily, spine curving, her breasts displayed an inch from his lips. She climbed to his lap and straddled his waist, pressing her panty-clad crotch against his caged erection. A rogue moan escaped her lips as she felt the mass of his bulge between her legs, much to the large man’s delight.

It appeared she wasn’t all immune to his spell. Her breath was shaking in her throat as she pressed her hands against his chest, feeling the hard pecs under the soft cotton of his grey shirt. Henry was sturdy and large. She couldn’t help but wonder what he hid beneath his well-tailored outfit. His biceps were bigger than her head as he kept his arms folded; those thighs beneath her ass felt thicker than logs.  

Her lustful gaze swayed to meet the sky in his eyes up close, detecting a slight imperfection in one of them: an earthly taint of brown. He gave her a slanted grin, descending to feast on the sight of her half-naked form with a flick of his tongue across his lip. 

Red flags waved at the back of her mind. This man was the epitome of danger, drenched with dark lust and sinister grins. The fact that he was a sweet, sugary treat for a starving girl made for a sinful mixture, causing both distress and stickiness between her thighs.

Henry placed both his hands on the armrests, fingers digging into the onyx leather to hold himself from grabbing her slim waist and grinding her onto his cock. Her mound felt fiery hot onto the fabric of his trousers, and the slow tidal sway of her hips did nothing but engorge him even more.        

“What’s your name, little minx?” He asked, his breath heavy and sweet with whiskey against her neck. 

She hummed in response, closing her eyes and throwing her head back while her hands held onto his broad shoulders. The dark waterfalls of her hair streamed down behind her. Her torso stretched, bare breasts a delicious sight while she danced on his groin, increasing the friction that ran like smouldering heat. 

“It’s… Lilith…” she answered, licking her lips as she felt the blood vibrating between them.

Henry groaned, enjoying the brush of her body against his. She moved in sensual waves- slow yet hard, like a storm inching an ocean. Her voice hummed softly in his ear, her almond-shaped eyes tricking him into believing he was desired, needed. 

And perhaps he was, as her lips swelled red with passion and she danced on his cock with as much urgency to please herself as to please him.

“Your real name, pet.”   

Ash closed her eyes and shook her head. “I am not allowed to tell you.”

“Fair enough,” he growled. He felt her increase the pace, pushing harder onto him. His self-control was vastly challenged. His breath became fervent fumes. He felt the moistness beneath his hands as he clutched tightly on the soft leather as if his life were dependent on it. The pulse in his organ became as rageful as a volcano.

“You look like you’re enjoying this as much as I am,” he murmured, letting his lips inch dangerously close against her neck. “I wonder if this sort of thing would happen with anyone else, or I’m special.”

Goosebumps spread through her skin, her nape felt a cold shiver. Ash swallowed hard. If this was a thriller film this was the point where she was supposed to turn back and save her skin, yet all she fancied was to push her cunt against menacing Henry and mewl as tinders of joy licked between her legs.

“Is that a problem, if I am?” She dared.   

Unable to control his body’s natural instincts, Henry broke and bucked his hips roughly into her mound, giving in to her grind, growling as the collision created sparks of fire that increased the flame between them. 

“Not at all,” he grunted, feeling droplets of sweat forming on his brow. “Only that I paid you.” 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy myself.”

And tendrils of pleasure were indeed within her grasp. Ash felt a tremble in her thighs. He was large and hard, demanding to be let inside her. She’d be lying if she didn’t want the same, imagining just how large a man of his size was. 

She wondered how he’d fuck her, would he be as slow and rough as their carnal dance, or would he throw her on the bed and wreck her till she cried. 

The dark gaze in his eyes made her lean toward the latter and darn if he didn’t look at her as if she was the most intoxicating woman on earth. Feeling the flush ride from her cheeks down to her chest, she turned around, pushing her ass against his cock instead. She wanted to come so badly, the throb between her legs mingled with the fear that tingled in her chest. She wanted to remind herself she was protected by the owners of the club and the man standing right outside, yet Henry made her doubt herself. 

And for some reason, it only made her more excited.

“Touch me!” She demanded in a voice tainted with desperation.

There was no need to ask more than once. Her handsome stranger groaned the most beautiful melodies in her ear and reached his aching hands to squeeze her breasts. They moaned together as the much-needed bond had formed. Henry’s thumbs circled her nipples while his fingers kneaded on the fat of her flesh. She knew this was a mistake, he would leave his violet fingerprints all over her skin yet her judgment was clouded by the pleasure his touch elicited on her desperate flesh.

“Lilith.” Henry gasped, allowing himself to nuzzle the girl’s hair as she seemed completely lost to her own desires. “Do you fuck your boss?”

“I’m not a prostitute.” she answered breathlessly as one of his hands climbed up to her neck and held her jaw, drawing her head back onto his shoulder. His hips bucked harder against her ass, the pounding in his cock was nothing but white-hot fury. He held her tightly while she dug her nails into his thighs. 

“Not what... I asked…” he gasped, his voice breaking between grunts.

“No.” 

Ash felt his cock twitch beneath her and his moans chanted repeatedly, becoming louder and louder. The pulsating need inside her was unbearable yet it wasn’t enough, not for her. She needed to feel something inside her throbbing cunt yet she feared breaking the rules. Henry pushed against her ass with vigour, emitting inarticulate sounds until he clutched her tightly and gasped with pleasure. 

For a few seconds, the room felt like the most radiant thing on earth.  

Ash breathed out as his hot mess was sticky against her ass. Slight disappointment danced in her chest as she didn’t share his climax and her heart was still in rageful turmoil, furious for not being let to feel the much-needed pleasure. Yet a part of her was relieved that their contract has expired. 

She might have managed to avoid trouble for once. 

“Good.” Henry breathed out, panting heavily as he tried to adjust his lungs. His hands still covered her breasts, sensing the dampness of her skin against his sweaty palms 

“Because I am your boss, darling.”  

Her mind still fuzzy, Ash let out a confused chuckle which quickly died as the man beneath her didn’t join in her laughter. The rigidness on his breath sounded dead serious and the signet ring on his pinky finger suddenly felt cold against the softness of her breast.   

“Cavill.” she called out, panic pitching her voice higher. “Henry Cavill…?”

“Mhmm.” he hummed with approval, an arrogant smile spread from the corners of his lips as he noticed the obvious shift in her mood. Still seated on his lap, she let out a trembling wheeze as her heart sank to her gut.

“You are not joking, are you?”

“No,” his voice rumbled, vibrating low and thick against her prickling spine. 

Ash felt the sweat turn cold on her skin. Giving a small turn, she was unable to determine whether she should get up or remain seated on his groin. She could see the shit-eating grin on Henry’s sharp jaw from the corner of her eye and decided to gather her shaky feet to stand, nearly losing her balance as her heels suddenly despised her.

“Mr. Cavill, I’m so sorry,” she dropped her gaze to the floor, her hands covering her breasts nervously out of the misled thought she offended him. If he felt threatening before, now she felt pure terror making her blood sting. The Cavills were the most notorious organized crime family in the United Kingdom. Their web spun across each district, and they owned half of the police force in London.

She just made a filthy mess out of the trousers of a man who kills much more important people than her.

It was very much clear to her that it would take little to no effort to make a no one like Ashleigh Carr disappear. 

The room began to feel as if it was depleted of air all of a sudden.

“Considering you just made me come all over my pants, you can call me Henry, or sir.” he corrected her in his deep voice while his piercing steel eyes focused on the obvious stain on his crotch. 

Ash blinked, terrified as Henry reached for the phone at the back of his trousers. A muscle strained in his jaw while he scrolled through the device and then placed it against his ear. She opened her mouth to apologize once again, yet was silenced by Henry holding up his index finger gesturing “wait”.

“Sean, I will need a clean suit brought to the Imperial, ASAP. Make it a dark one.”

The crime lord ended the call with a friendly yet authoritative “Cheers,” before lifting his gaze to the slender girl who still stood at the same spot with eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. Never in his life had he had a naked girl look at him with so much fear on her face. 

It was an interesting new aspect. 

Reaching down between his knees, Henry fished for her flimsy corset and pulled his heavy body upward. His long legs stretched as he stepped toward the horrified girl. Giving her a smile, he handed her the piece of garment. 

She snatched it from his hand with slight hesitation while he stared down at her, his head tilting as if to further study the features of her face. She was too afraid to break eye contact, strapping the corset back around her body without saying another word.

“Lilith…” Henry called, his spiced breath hot on her face.

“Ash...Ashleigh,” she admitted.

“Ashleigh,” Henry pronounced her name softly in his low voice, giving a small dreamlike smirk as if it was the most beautiful name he ever heard. His tongue licked over his bottom lip while he drank the sight of her in. 

“I’d like to fuck you.”

Ash stared at the man in front of her with surprise, lust still blooming between her thighs, her skin tingling with the imprint of his touch. Inside, she seared with passion and he was undoubtedly the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen with his kissable lips and crystal blue eyes.

But she detested the idea of being a whore. She never slept with a customer, nor was she willing to sleep with her boss. 

Even if it cost her life. 

“As I said, not a prostitute.”

“I have no intention of paying you,” he answered with a dry chuckle.

“You just did,” she answered and then took a deep breath, choosing not to say more. She still valued her life after all, no matter how pitiful it is. 

Henry gave her a slanted smirk and began circling her like a predator stalking his prey. Careful eyes followed him, her breath measured with every step he took. 

There was a spirit in her, warm and feisty. Defiant despite the fear that sparkled as clear as water in her beautiful eyes. In the cold, secluded room of his sinful club, he finally felt the thing he chased after for years. Passion. Desire. 

And it was booming in his heart.

“I find you interesting, Ashleigh,” he replied and shoved his hand into the pocket of his jacket, drawing out a sharp silver card.

“But I am not one to beg, nor do I take pleasure in pressuring women to sleep with me.”

The card gleamed like a knife as he held it between his digits while waiting for her to accept it. 

“This is my driver’s number, just in case you decide you do want to spend your night with me.”

*

Read Part 2

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#Henry Cavill #AU!Henry Cavill #mob!henry cavill #MobBoss!Henry Cavill #henrycavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x reader

[angel-tries-to-write]

No Control

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: Mature Pairing: Arno Dorian x fem!reader Word count: 3694 Genre: angst but later fluff

Inspired by Hamilton, again. Enemies to lovers, but make it fast. Might contain triggers.

Since the day you two have met, your relationship couldn't be more complicated. He was snarky and sassy Sad Boi, you were mean and Miss Perfect. He considered you a bitch, you considered him a jerk. Both of you lived for the other's failures and were delighted to humiliate and belittle the other on every occasion. But never once these fights interfered with your assassin job, the Creed was always your priority. You could be professional enough to put your feelings aside and cooperate for the sake of your mission. As the time passed and you were spending more time together, you got to know each other and started to grow somewhat close.

You knew something really bad had happened the moment you saw Arno entering the room. Although you were discussing some matters with the council, no one informed you what happened and why exactly he was there. If that wasn't enough, you were told to leave. The council had to talk to Arno in private. You did leave, of course. But as soon as you were out of sight, you ran to the other side of the hideout and placed yourself in a perfect spot for eavesdropping. It wasn't comfortable at all, but it was nothing you couldn't bear.

Despite your cold and snarky attitude, you cared about Arno. And it was no fun seeing him get in trouble, even though you would say it was, to keep your reputation. You were also curious about what he did this time to earn such a reprimand. It took a lot to be scolded by the whole council themselves. When you learned what happened, you started to think about getting away.

“(Y/n), you are not supposed to be here” you heard master Mirabeau and you nearly fell out of your hiding place. Luckily you managed to compose yourself and you got out with grace and dignity.

“Oh, great. You must be happy now” Arno said harshly and you winced a little. You may have not been very nice towards him, but it didn't mean you enjoyed his failures.

“I am not” you said calmly.

“Excuse me, but the last thing I want now is your mockery” he turned around and started to leave.

“I do not plan to do that. I need to talk to you.” Despite him being clearly unwilling to listen, you followed him.

“Save it.”

“Arno, wait. I know how you feel.”

“No, you don't.”

“I used to be just like you: brash, reckless, inexperienced and I wanted to act, not think. I have done something terrible, everyone paid for my mistake. I thought I was meant to do great things, to prove my worth, to play a big role in history. I thought I could have the whole world at my feet. Then everything slipped out of my hands in a brief moment. After that, my father took me aside and said: "Let me tell you what I wish I’d known when I was young and dreamed of glory. You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story." And I realized he was right. So now I'm telling that to you. Don't let your feelings cloud your mind.”

“I do not need your smart advices” he said dryly, but he stopped and turned around to face you. “Besides, I will never believe you have done something worse than I have.”

“I straight up murdered my friends” you deadpanned. Arno looked at you, speechless and shaken. “I know what I'm talking about.”

“H-how?”

“It was a few years ago. We were just a bunch of teenaged novices. We thought we knew everything and we could do anything, just like we thought our creed says. I was in charge of them, due to my family being a very important part of the Brotherhood. I was the best of them, as well. Apparently also the luckiest. We decided to break into the Templars' quarters and prove our worth. As you can guess, we were slaughtered due to our miscalculation and carelessness. I was the only one surviving, because I was badly injuried and they thought I died right away, so they did not finish their job. Also because someone overheard the conversation between the two Templars and told my father who came to save me personally. He found me sitting among the bodies of my friends and enemies, badly injuried and completely shocked, terrified and devastated. I still can remember how wet my robes were, or that I was slipping on my own blood while trying to get out, or that the pain of my wound was nothing compared to pain in my heart. I knew I had failed everyone. Besides me, only two girls did not die right away. I personally ended the suffering of one, due to her nasty fatal wound, they just gutted her, but she did not die and begged me to kill her. The second one died two days later, when I was fighting for my life with my wound and a fever. That day has changed me forever. That day I understood that it is so easy to die and there is nothing noble in it. It is way harder to live with consequences of my decisions. The Brotherhood lost eight apprentices that day. I lost eight of my friends and myself. I might stand here being an assassin after all, but I am just a mere shadow of the one I used to be. My wounds almost made me disabled, it's a miracle I can walk, the doctors couldn't believe it would ever happen. But I still feel the pain that reminds me of my horrible mistake and the toughest lesson of my life I had learned. I am useless at fight or free running, therefore I mastered stealth and disguise. But it's like having a hypersensitive hearing while being blind. I merely make up for what I don't have anymore. I also do my best trying to find the Piece of Eden. Not only because Brotherhood needs to keep it safe, but also because it can heal me. I know the location of one Piece, but it is safely hidden far away and it does not attract any unwanted attention. The one in Paris, however, is being searched for by both Assassins and Templars. So I decided to ignore my personal needs for the greater good and focus on looking for the one that is needed to be found, instead of getting the easy option and going for the one I have found already” you concluded, subconsciously clutching the clothes on your lower abdomen. The familiar jab was present there, as usual. The painful memory of your past and a lesson for the future. Arno was looking at you in dead silence.

“I am sorry” he said finally, his voice was soft and quiet.

“Don't be. I get what I deserve. Remember my story and learn from my mistakes. Do not repeat them. Respect life and death” you warned him.

“No, I am sorry for thinking you were just mean, grumpy and selfish” he explained. “I would not be happy myself if I had to live in constant pain and with such memories.”

“I got used to it” you shrugged. “Though I admit, I would rather have my friends alive and punished by the council instead of this.”

“I am going to help you find that Piece of Eden. You deserve to be redeemed and cured” Arno promised and you smiled a little.

“Thank you. That means a lot” you bowed your head in a gesture of appreciation.

“Good to hear you are a responsible man, monsieur (mister) Dorian. I always knew you are a lot like your father, after all” spoke Mirabeau, approaching the two of you, he looked at Arno, then at you and noticed your gesture. “You should rest, my child” he put his hand on your shoulder.

“I'm fine” you protested.

“My brother would kill me for not taking care of you” the older man reminded you.

“He should have taken care of himself, then he could be taking care of me in person instead of lying in grave” you growled angrily, then hissed when the pain in your old wound strengthened. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax, knowing that stress was making everything worse. “I apologize. You are right, I shall get some rest, uncle” you said quietly and headed to exit.

“Let me help” said Arno and followed you.

“There is no need” you answered, but grabbed his arm for support, when the jolt of pain almost made you bend over.

“Sure.”

“I'm serious, I- gah” you stopped walking, waiting for pain to ease. Arno didn't ask for the second time, he simply caught you and lifted you bridal style. As much as you hated to admit, you needed this.

“You never mentioned that you and Mirabeau are related” he spoke after a while.

“I did. I told you that my family is meaningful in Brotherhood. I just didn't mention him specifically” you said like it was nothing. Well, to you it was.

“So? Care to explain?”

“My father was his younger brother, that's the big secret” you sighed. “As you can guess, I would rather keep that information in private. I do not want anyone to think that I am somehow privileged, because I'm not.”

“Understandable.”

Arno carried you all the way to your apartment, then helped you to undress to the point you were comfortable, then carried you to bed. He was way more nice than you would expect. Maybe you judged him too soon and Bellec was just an old, grumpy man who wanted Arno to be like his father? You took his hand as he sat by your bed.

“Merci (thank you). You didn't have to do that” you said, looking at him. “Especially after all these things I have told you.”

“You are not as bad as I thought. And not as bad as you think. I guess that if I can put up with Bellec, I can be friends with you as well” he shrugged. “Unless you don't want to.”

“No, I... that would be nice. You are not that bad yourself” you chuckled softly. “But for now there is nothing else you can do, so if you have something else to do, I do not keep you.”

He didn't, so you talked for a few hours. You learned about Élise, monsieur de la Serre and all the funny stories about Arno's childhood. In exchange you told him about yours, about growing up in the Assassin Brotherhood and learning all the tenants of the Creed from the very first day of your life. That day both of you learned a lot about each other and though you hadn't known that, you started to develop feelings for the man.

Therefore after some time you knew that sooner or later you would end up in Arno's bed somehow. Of course, there was always Élise, whom he loved deeply, so you would never make the first move. But when she told him that she was willing to sacrifice everything to stop Germain and she didn't need his help, well, the problem sort of solved itself. Since Arno's banishment from the Brotherhood, you were following him discreetly from time to time to make sure he was doing fine. But suddenly he disappeared and that was very unlike him. You established that he wasn't leaving Le Café Théâtre anymore, so one day you decided to pay him a visit. The first day he was so drunk that he didn't even recognize you, but when you came back the next day, he wasn't completely drunk yet. He must have worked, after all, the Café still belonged to him and it required his attention from time to time. Therefore, he was still in a pretty good state when you came, you could actually talk to him.

“How are you doing, Arno?” you asked softly, taking your hood off and closing the window behind. You approached the desk he was sitting at.

“Go away.”

“No.”

“(Y/n)” he stood up, intending to leave. You stepped closer and hugged him, snaking your arms around his chest and waist.

“You are not alone, Arno” you whispered, holding him tightly. “No matter what you think, I will never leave you on your own.”

“I don't need your pity” he hissed, trying to push you away.

“I do not pity you. I care. I genuinely care about you.”

“Let me go. I need more wine.”

“No, you have had enough. You should go to sleep” you pulled away and started to pushing him in the right direction. “Come, let me take care of you.”

“I don't want to” he protested, but obeyed when you lead him to bed. You were gentle but firm. The man sat on the bed, accidentally pulling you closer and making you lose your balance, so you ended up straddling him. Your lips were way closer than should be.

“What are you doing?” you asked quietly, sort of curious where it would lead, while knowing very well that you shouldn't let him do what you thought he intended.

“I don't know” he answered honestly. Then he put his hand on your cheek, caressing it gently. Just to kiss you shortly after. And you knew fully well he was drunk and you shouldn't do that, but you kissed him back anyway. He pulled away shortly after. “I shouldn't.”

“I know.”

“I... Élise... I can't-”

“I know. But I am here for you anyway and no one will know.”

That was enough for him to kiss you again. It was wrong in every way, he was a traitor to your Creed, he loved another girl and she was a Templar. You knew he didn't feel about you the same way you felt about him, but you couldn't stop him. You didn’t want him to stop. Your discarded coat quickly fell to the floor with your weapons. His skilled hands quickly started to undress you further and you didn't resist. You started to take off his clothes yourself and you stopped him only the moment he wanted to get rid of your pants.

“Wait” you panted, holding his hand back.

“What's wrong?” Arno asked with concern. He might have been drunk, but not enough to not realize something wasn't right. His lips and fingers kept touching your skin.

“Remember how I told you about that wound I got as a novice?” you shivered as he decided to focus on the one of your breasts.

“Sure. This is it?” he asked and you nodded. “You got hurt there?” the man asked with disbelief, touching your sex through the thick fabric of your pants and even this gentle touch made you shiver.

“Not exactly” you helped him take off the rest of your clothes and let him see the large scar blemishing the soft skin of your stomach.

“It does look awful” he admitted, looking at the scar. “How did you even get that?”

“I was just stabbed there” you pointed a spot with your two fingers. “It was a miracle that the sword didn't even touch my vital organs. It slid right between intestines and above the bladder, one wrong move and I would die. But it cut the uterus pretty badly, amputating one of the ovaries. The doctors had to cut me open even more to even sew the wound and stop the bleeding” you traced the scar with your fingertips. “It didn't heal well, so it still causes me pain and if I ever miraculously get pregnant, it will probably kill me, because the growing baby might tear the scar apart. This is why finding a Piece of Eden is my only hope” you sighed, closing your eyes to avoid looking at the scar. But you quickly opened them again, as you felt the soft kiss on the side of the old injury.

“We are going to find it and heal your wound” Arno murmured, leaving butterfly kisses on your scar. He was getting lower and lower, and when he reached his destination, you nearly screamed. Apparently he was very skilled not only in combat or free running, but also in bed. He wasn't your first partner, but he was definitely the best.

When he finished, you couldn't calm down for a while, lying in his bed completely vulnerable. You looked at him with love and trust, both very unique to your everyday self. You were never as open and honest as you were that moment. He climbed up your body and captured your lips in a gentle yet sensual kiss. You buried your fingers in his messy hair and took off the hair tie. It was something you wanted to do for a while, you were curious how he would look like with loosened hair and you had to admit, he still looked good. It was giving him a little feral vibes, but these suited him well, especially when he had those wild glimpses in his eyes and looked at you with predatory hunger.

“Do you really want this?” you asked him, caressing his cheek.

“I do. It makes me forget the pain” he answered honestly and kissed you. “And you? Do you want this?”

“Yes” you answered and kissed him back. Upon hearing such a clear consent none of you had further doubts. Arno might have been drunk, but he was clearly making sure he was gentle enough and that you are comfortable with anything he did. And you were more than happy at his actions. You spend with him the rest of the day and when the night had come, you fell asleep in each other arms.

You woke up in the morning very suddenly, alone in the bed. At first you thought that maybe Arno had left you, but then you had heard his voice.

“...and what am I supposed to do? Pretend nothing happened?”

“No, but if you forgot that Templar girl, we would be able to show you the right path” said the other, male voice.

“I do not want to forget Élise. Besides, don't you see how pathetic it looks?”

“Pathetic?”

“Taking her because Élise left me? Isn't it pathetic?”

“If you think of it this way, then sure, it is. But I bet (Y/n) would never think like that.” Suddenly you realized it was one of Arno's friends, probably the one who was always carrying his axe.

“Right. She is too good for it.”

“Now you sound like a lovesick boy.”

“Ha, ha, very funny” it was the usual, sarcastic Arno.

“Look, whatever you are going to do, you should decide quickly. (Y/n) is still bound to the Brotherhood and she leaves for a mission soon. Time is running out.”

“Go away. Your advices suck.”

“As you wish. But think of it” the man said and left. Arno closed the window and got back to the bed. He took off his pants and slipped under the blankets, snuggling with you.

“He knows nothing” he muttered into your hair, pressing your body to his. You pretended to stir and wake up, you didn't want him to know you've heard that conversation.

“Hi” you smiled, looking at him.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up” Arno smiled sheepishly.

“It's alright. I wish I could wake up like this every morning” you smiled and kissed him softly.

“Who you are and what did you do to (Y/n)?” he chuckled and kissed you back.

“I feel too good to be salty” you looked at him with happiness radiating from your face.

“Why wouldn't we stay like this forever then?” he asked and your heart skipped a beat. It was the most wonderful thing you could imagine, but at the same time it was equally problematic.

“Are you sure you would like this? I thought it was nothing serious.”

”Positive. I need to take a charge of my life.“

“But Élise...”

“I should stop thinking about Élise. She told me she does not need me, I can live without her either” he answered calmly, but you could see his emotions buzzing.

“Why the sudden change?”

“Last night was really... something. I... well, let's say I realized that life doesn't end with Élise.”

“Or maybe you like to break the rules a little too much?” you smirked.

“You are not that innocent yourself” he looked at you and smirked too.

“I never said I was.”

After some time, when you were sure Arno was asleep, you carefully got out of bed, washed up quickly and dressed up. Then you sat by Arno's desk and wrote him a letter.

My Dearest Arno,

I wish I could stay with you for longer, but my duties call. I feel terrible disappearing like that, while you still are lovely asleep, but I have no other choice. I am deeply sorry for this.

I never hoped for anything like this to happen, after all you have always seen only Élise. I do not feel surprised, she is beautiful, smart and so amazing, that I could date her myself (do not tell her that though, she should not know). What happened between us, happened anyway and I am thrilled. I have to inform you that I had dreamed about it for a very long time.

As you may know by now, I have feelings for you. These might not be as strong as yours about Élise, but I still deeply care about you. I am thrilled that I could make you feel better, even if it was for a moment. I really hope that the next time when we see each other, you will be happier than you are now.

If you need some more time, I will give you all the time. I have a lot of it, I can wait as long as you need me to.

Forever yours,

(Y/n)

You left the letter on the desk and silently left Le Café Théâtre. Then you left for your mission, hoping that it wasn't your last meeting.

#assassin's creed #arno dorian #arno dorian x reader #my fic

[mays-grant]

favorite crime | Spencer Reid

Summary:

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of death, murder, prison, angst, insanity, drugs, lying, really bad writing

Loosely based off of ‘Favorite Crime’ by Olivia Rodrigo

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: I didn’t proofread this in the slightest

You had royally fucked up.

You knew that from the moment the men in beige uniforms placed the cold metal around your hands wincing as you heard the small ‘click’ noise. The cuffs practically seethed themselves into your skin with how tight they were and the newly formed cuts—that you don’t remeber how you got— didn’t help the pain.

How did you even get here?

The last thing you truly remembered was agreeing to go with Spencer to get his mother’s medicine.

Spencer.

It was all his fault. You were sure that if you hadn’t come with him that you would be at home watching reruns of the office, perfectly content with your mild mannered life. But instead, you were wearing a hideous blue jumpsuit staring at the grimy wall of your cell.

Was this the price you had to pay to be his?

You knew that being with Spencer meant that you would have to deal with his job but that was all you had prepared yourself for. You hadn’t been prepared to get arrested for the murder of a woman you’d thought you’d never even heard of before the police mentioned her and the ‘memories’ of what you and Spencer did to her filled your head.

Four bloody hands. A knife. And a vulnerable woman doing what she had to do to be with someone.

It was confusing. Nadia Ramos had died and her heart stopped being so, why did it feel as if your heard had stopped beating? Was this what a broken heart felt like?

She had been buried and yet, in a way, so were you.

God, the things she did to be with Spencer.

Even if the memories of what happened were blurry and in consistent, in your mind, it still happened. When you say in front of the judge as they asked you why you had pleaded guilty, you could only utter a single sentence.

“'Cause I was goin' down, but I was doin' it with him.”

And the judge, as disgusted with you as they were, understood your words. You had presumably been Spencer’s willing accomplice. It was bittersweet to think about the damage that you’d both done. To think that you did all this simply so you could call him ‘mine’.

When Spencer’s team from the behavioral analysis unit interviewed you, they almost couldn’t believe the person you believed you had become.

A person who would murder for a man you had been dating for a mere 5 months— not to mention that they were almost one hundred percent sure that you and Spencer had not committed this crime. That the two of you were simply forced to participate in this heinous act or that you simply believed you did and that in reality Peter Lewis had committed this murder.

Everyone who had been defending Spencer knew that you had simply gone insane. But you hadn’t. You had simply fallen in love. There was nothing crazy about that.

Right?

Emily Prentiss had explained the situation to you when they found out Lindsay and Cat had been behind all of this, you had almost laughed in her face and told her that she was insane.

But, maybe she wasn’t.

Maybe you didn’t kill Nadia Ramos.

It made sense, I mean— You couldn’t remember practically anything from when you and Spencer— supposedly— killed her. And if the two of you were really on drugs— which you were— then that would explain why everything had been so hazy.

But, you still didn’t understand. In your mind, you had done this for Spencer and if you hadn’t done this at all then, why had your mind been plagued with an obsession with the doctor?

And then it hit you.

The BAU was right. You were insane. You had been insane long before you had been arrested in Mexico and long before you had began dating Spencer.

You had been insane the moment you joined the hitmen.

The moment you had begun working alongside Cat Adams and the others.

And then the memories came flooding back.

You recalled the fact that you, Cat, and Lindsay had planned this all together. As a team.

The plan was that you would infiltrate Spencer’s life and imitate the role of the perfect girlfriend. Giving Cat and Lindsay enough time to replicate Peter Lewis’ signature to throw off the BAU. They had planned for you to go to Mexico with Spencer— that was why you had agreed to go.

They would then dose you and Spencer with a hallucinogenic so it would be up to the two of you to paint the picture of the murder the pair do you thought you committed.

But what Lindsay and Cat didn’t account for was how much the drugs would affect you.

You had always been close to breaking down. Always standing in the tip of a fifty foot mounting waiting for an avalanche.

This was your avalanche.

Your mind had become completely enthralled with the idea of Spencer Reid and being in love as the effect fo the drugs kicked in. But then, your mind had rebooted itself to believe that was truly what you felt, what you had always felt.

It was your subconsciouses way of protecting yourself. To believe that you really killed that woman and that loving Spencer was an excuse to help him kill her when in reality you felt guilting for all the people you had taken out over the past years working with the Horsemen. That, if you had a reason for killing one person than you had a reason for killing them all. That, you were a decent person. That, nothing had ever truly been your fault.

When everyone found out who you really were and what you had done, they had made sure your sentence was at least 25 years.

You remembered the look on Spencer’s face as he interviewed you after saving his mother and taking down Peter Lewis, Cat, and Lindsay.

He had a look of disgust on his face, one that he didn’t even try to hide.

“You lied.” It wasn’t a question, it was more of a statement. An accusation that had been entirely correct.

You hummed out an ‘mhm’ as you stared into his gorgeous eyes. His hair that had grown significantly longer during his time incarcerated had almost completely covered his forehead.

“Why?”

He asked, a hint of sadness lacing his tone. You tilted your head to the side and leaned forward a bit, reminding yourself that you were still chained to the table.

“Was I your favorite crime?” You asked.

His eyes widened slightly at your abrupt question before he composed himself.

“I don’t follow.”

“It’s not a hard question. Was I or was I not your perfect crime? I hope I was.” You told him, smiling fondly. Spencer narrowed his eyes a bit.

“Cause, you were mine.”

And that was all you needed to say before the men beside you drove the needle into your arm, the liquid flowing through your veins making your eyes heavy only for them to close so they would never open again.

And it was true, you had always been the perfect crime.

#spencer reid #cat adams #mr scratch #spencer reid fic #angst #spencer reid angst #criminal minds #cm #emily prentiss #peter lewis #criminal minds x y/n