#to need someone else to fulfill it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eebie · 1 month

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#i personally feel like it's somewhere in between #like sexuality and gender i think it's where you decide to choose what label your experiences/feelings fall under #it's decided between the two people in the relationship #like intimacy can exist in every kind of relationship and it's upsetting to hear people say it can only happen in romantic ones #if i were in a relationship with someone i trusted Who had an intimate relationship with someone else #if i really trusted that person i'd have no problem with it Unless it very clearly started to affect our relationship #i don't think i'd call myself a very jealous person #maybe a little envious but not jealous lol #i think restricting intimacy to one person isn't very. healthy? i don't know #like there should be other people too. support networks #we're a social animal yknow ?#it can't be possible for one person to fulfill every single need #that's an unhealthy expectation that can put a strain on many relationships i think #there's a reason spider webs are made from joined threads of silk #they don't dangle from a single piece They'd get blown away in the wind #reason why i bring this up now is bc i just discussed this with my parents who hold very traditional views #idk how i ended up being so different from them LMAO #thanks steven universe i guess!!!

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phantomdoodler · 27 days

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Building rapport is a skill.

Providing emotional support is a skill.

Validating others' efforts is a skill.

Complimenting people is a skill.

Identifying the types of encouragement that different people need is a skill.

Skills take time and effort to learn. Messing up is part of the process. You will get better with practice.

Likewise, a lack of skill does not necessarily indicate a lack of enthusiasm. People who care about you may not always know how to support you. They may know what you need, but not be skilled enough to provide it yet.

This does not require neglecting your own needs. Different people have different skills that are better suited to supporting you in different ways. Recognizing the types of support you're in need of can help you seek out compatible people.

We are all still learning.

#idk it's tough to focus on the types of support I know I can provide #when people always seem to be yearning for a type I struggle with #I hope someone else can fulfill that need #but I would like to think that my type means something too

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realllism · 8 months

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love how inconsistent kilgarrah is, like he spends half the time talking about how merlin needs to fulfil his destiny and then he tells merlin that the only way to fulfil his destiny is to stop mordred and morgana from fulfilling theirs (conveniently by killing them) and after all that he tells merlin that no man can know their destiny as if half the plot of the show wasn’t merlin knowing his destiny

#if destiny is inevitable why would merlin need to try to fulfil his #idk if kilgarrah ever says that destiny is inevitable #but like if it was then surely he would know that there’s no point trying to stop mordred or morgana #convinced that he might’ve just been bored after 20 years down there and needed some entertainment #bbc merlin #someone else have the intellectual thoughts about this #i just find it funny

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cappurrccino · 9 days

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very often, i feel like the human equivalent of that puffin that's standing on one leg because the little decoy puffin that a photographer or researcher put there only has the one peg "leg" underneath it, so the real puffin is like "oh! this is how puffins are now!" but it's that every time i hear about a career field or a new hobby or see a show or read a book set in a certain place i go "oh! that's what i should be doing! let me mimic that!"

#//juri speaks #it makes it hard to figure out who i am as a person bc it's like ''do i want this bc i want it #or do i want it bc it made someone else happy/content/fulfilled and i want that feeling''#anyway part of my brain rn is going ''maybe i need to move to a small town in the colorado mountains!'' bc i've been watching resident alie #and i KNOW that is incorrect bc i do not like winter and my lungs do not like being at high altitudes

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todayisafridaynight · 15 days

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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

#snap chats #no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game #oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k #OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think #my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious #rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final #HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE #i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that #i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki #someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it #like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but #i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital #the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe #cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3 #its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think #it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little #and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly #idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me #THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED #i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell #is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form #i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments #BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow #im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE

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terrorbirb · 21 days

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I'm bored at work so I'm seeing if I should report my old company for violating labor standards.

#totes bro #im so close but it is so obvious it would be me because i used to complain about this all the time #they dont inform their immigrant workers of their rights and so they dont like understand how their timecard works #and thr company advises them to take the least expensive insurance policy because they 'are healthy and don't need it'#but i know one couple wants fertility treatments but couldnt afford it because of that #they dont have the required posters #they also knowingly continue osha violations which i held a meeting over and was told this doesnt apply to us #which uhm it says it does on the Web site so i disagree #all of this is like why i left and what caused me to leave #and literally lying to me and another guy that we would get promotions for the work we did #and then they hired someone else to do the job making our promotions unnecessary and they were like hmmmm sorry #idk they like got a ton worse and i think the president got more reactionary which caused this #not sure how many of these count but thats not for me to decide anyway #oh and cleanliness standards but i actually fixed a lot of those..... fulfilling the role that promotion role that was promised #my coworkers here are like 'absolutely report the hell out of that place' because we do code violations lol #every time i say something they go 'that could be a violation :)'#they paid someone on a salary basis when they were under the salary pay and therefore should have gotten overtime

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shirtlessradfahrer · 30 days

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So what do you do when your favourite rapper makes a catchy song about the hardships of life that you want to love but upon release can’t connect with at all and after a few listens almost outright dislike because none of the pain and hardship life has put you through has ever made you a better person or given you the energy/motivation to do better and it actually just did the complete opposite and you’ve lost out on precious years of your life and so many opportunities while trying to process the trauma and undo the damage

But everyone else seems to love the song to the point that you start to wonder if maybe you’re just a fucking idiot for not being able to make something good out of said trauma and hardship instead of just being filled with crippling anxiety and depression and bitterness and grief and rage

#käärijä #yes this is about ruoska #the mental health tanked again this week #sorry to put my ramblings in the main tag but I need someone to tell me I’m not insane for being so uncomfortable with the song #I’ve been nervous to say my full thoughts because people loved it so much and I didn’t want to rain on their parade #and the umk performance and mv were genuinely well done #but it just really hurts #if the metaphorical whip that hurt me was a tangible item I’d fucking shred the thing to pieces #and then burn the remains #so that no one else could ever suffer the same way again #it didn’t push me through life #it made me want to give up on it completely #I’ve been at my happiest and most driven and most fulfilled when I finally got a fucking break from it #one of the opening lines about sitting at the gas station actually triggered a really fucking bad memory I would have loved to forget #it fucking sucks because his songs have brought me so much happiness #a kind I haven’t felt in a long time #and then there’s….this #if nothing else I wanted to love it for Erika’s sake #but I just can’t #am I just misinterpreting the lyrics?#or projecting too much #I probably am #because god I am NOT looking forward to hearing it all though Kä summer camp #and i hate that

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databent · 1 month

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why the fuck is it that some people cant seem to acknowledge that people can just... be disabled. not through any fault of their own, not because something "happened" to them, just because, you know, sometimes people have disabilities. like, come on

#.pdf #rd #kd #just a warning these tags are long. like. really incredibly long. i had thoughts.#sorry for the vague ass post i'm just upset about some stupid shit my dad said yesterday.#namely: outright telling me that he doesn't believe i have non-24 (circadian rhythm disorder).#and that even if i do he doesn't believe it's possible for it to actually be a lifelong and disabling condition.#*also: this post isn't meant to imply that disabilities that did have some inciting incident are more accepted or anything.#it's just that i'm frustrated with the “you're disabled? why? what happened?” sentiment a lot of people seem to have.#nothing happened to cause my disability. i'm just like this. no i can't change it. what the fuck do you want me to tell you?#i'd guess it probably has to do with society's focus on work and productivity and career-mindedness above all else.#and when someone comes along that doesn't fit in with the way things are structured it just doesn't compute.#because the idea of people who can't dedicate their entire lives to working is so fundamentally contradictory to their view of... i don't-#-know. meaning in life? fulfillment? that they feel a need to reject the possibility altogether.#this is mainly when dealing with invisible disabilities from what i've seen. because i think there's a tendency to view visibly disabled-#-people as belonging to a different category altogether. which of course is its own issue but i'm not visibly disabled so i don't feel-#-like it's necessarily my place to speak on that.#anyway. i just want my struggles to be acknowledged as real. because they are. and i need people to understand that I Have A Disability.#albeit one many people don't even believe could be real because there's a sort of belief that circadian rhythms are purely a product of-#-external forces like sunlight so “you can't possibly have yours be different and have you tried just going outside more?” sigh.#sorry i also just remembered my dad telling me he doesn't believe i can have something so rare because the chances of having it are too low.#which is some ridiculous logic to me. rare doesn't mean it's impossible. some amount of people have to wind up with it regardless.#i just lucked out i guess.#n24 tag

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stainedglass-sketchbook · 2 months

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This is so funny to me bc this is about my tav who is very much not the dark urge! just a bit of a freak

#tav yeric #astarion #bg3 #started rambling about yeric in the tags couldn’t stop lol #yeric is pretty well adjusted for a guy who’s been living in the woods alone for a decade #he is generally really reserved and quiet #but off putting stuff just spills from his mouth sometimes #and when he does open up he says things without thinking them through (and that’s on his 8 INT)#also the thing about cannibalism is that yeric got trapped in the mountains with a bunch of travelers when he was 23 #and they ended up having to cannibalize some people and eat their dead #Yeric’s partner died and he ate her #this launched the previously mentioned decade long woods isolation #and so yeric has issues around food and hunger #and a deep deep fear of people around him starving to death #so I’m some ways like getting fed on by astarion is genuinely a comfort to him #doesn’t need to worry about astarion being hungry!#he has direct proof that astarion is physically well!#all he has to do is take care of himself and cast lesser restoration and someone else can be sustained just on that! how wonderful!#yeric is also a big acts of service guy so that desire also gets fulfilled by the blood sucking agreement #at the same time #yeric also processed the cannibalism thing in a weird way where his survivors guilt manifested as a desire to be eaten #so while he genuinely does get a lot out of the agreement with astarion it is also triggering to him and does not help at all with #his self worth issues #astarion and yeric have a long talk about this post game - I think their relationship would need a break from the feeding for a while #yeric needs space to be see himself being loved outside of his utility to other people #and also to know that astarion is going to be okay if yeric takes a break from being his personal juicebox for 5 minutes

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toastsnaffler · 5 months

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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent #.diaries

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lilbugprincess · 6 months

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so not to be gay (just kidding! I'm super gay forever!) but I am... comfortable enough with my partner now that I think I'd like to eventually live with him.

Which is wack! Because after my first serious relationship went really sour and ended before I could fuck with my life by moving in with him, I kinda put the thought of cohabitating with a partner aside? Even when I was dating people? And YES that was the aromantic, I know that now but

I'm in my thirties now, I know who I am and what I want in life, I've got a job I like, I'm paying off my student loans and working on building my credit score... I'm mature enough that this is like.

This is planning. This is... something I want. I like him, I'd like spending time with him (when we want--we don't need to be together all the time). I don't want to share a bedroom, but I'd like to share meals. He said he's good at dishes, so I don't mind handling laundry. We have to visit each other first, but we've known each other for six years and dated for two of em. We're definitely not rushing.

IDK, this is just really foreign to me. Thinking of this as something I want. Knowing that we have to work to be in a place where it can happen, but... I'm taking concrete action so it can be possible one day. It's pretty scary, honestly. I like him, but I still worry that I'll fuck it up, or we'll discover we're completely incompatible in some strange way we haven't found, or it'll just... fall apart. But I can't dwell on those fears, right?

Anyway, I'm just rambling aloud! I still have to pay off the student loans, and all. And we might not live together as JUST us, I'd be up for nabbing someone else. I might meet someone new, he might. Could still get into that hype house, all that. But I'm looking at a future, with someone else, and being happy about that.

And the me of 10 years ago would have never imagined such a thing was even possible~

#I'm rambling about my relationship below the cut you can skip this one #there's some people I like a LOT a lot but I'm not looking to make any moves without talking to my partner about it #he knows I'm poly but there's a difference there you know? it's a big deal and not something I'd wanna jump into recklessly #also. approaching SOMEONE ELSE to be like hi! I'm your friend! I'm a slut! I don't feel romantic attraction! I'm dating someone else!#wanna date me in a platonic yet homoerotic way??? i cannot fulfill all your relationship needs but i love you anyway #............it's a lot

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ferdydurke · 7 months

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I say this often but its crazy how much of a vortex depression is.

#I dont feel like... safe or particularly fulfilled rn and i have major major mood swings at least once a week but its not like.#Bleak as fuck. I think the language of 'the world is without colour' never does it for me bc thats how id describe it when im out of it #but when im depressed my main feeling is that i am a person that was born without a soul whose main purpose in life is to kill myself #because i cant bear to do or think anything else. And like even talking about it while in that mental state feels incredibely like.#Like youre doing something disgusting because its a cry for attention or for help so you have to put it in a way that makes it clear that #you are not trying to escape your destiny by trying to convince someone you are worthy of living.#And then like. At some point you stop feeling like that and you forget about it...#until youre there again. and you forget what its like to not be in it. its crazyyyy to me its just crazy #barking #ultimately im very lucky.#Because i really dont believe you can just will yourself out of that hole i really think the enviroment is like 99% of it #and well i will prolly end up in that hole again maybe even this year. but maybe ill have something to pull me out #some ability to change the thing thats making me feel like that #and idk its so like. awful that that isnt always the case. sometimes youre just drowning in it and theres nothing #just my late night thoughts thats why i need that weed bad man

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hauntingblue · 21 days

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LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!