#to quote ‘you are not my priority anymore and i’m sorry but you’re just going to have to be okay with that now’

[crashandlivewrites]

👀👀 let me throw you some kyle coded quotes. do what you wish with it 🫴

"If the choice is the mission or coming home to you, I’m coming home."

"There will always be another mission, _ , but there won’t always be another you."

This has been sitting in my inbox for a wee bit and I’m sorry it took so long. Thank you for sending this through! I hope I did it justice for you.

Pairing: Kyle Garrick x GN!Reader

CW: slight angst, relationship troubles, but comfort and happiness because Kyle is the sweetest boy <33

You loved your boyfriend. With all your heart. Kyle was the sweetest guy you’d dated, the most caring and attentive man you could have ever hoped for. But every relationship has their gripes and unfortunately, Kyle’s job was yours.

It was important, you knew that. He saved countless lives every time he went away, putting himself in danger in the process. But the fact he was gone so often made everything hard. He often missed important events; wasn’t home for your birthday or your anniversary or the holidays in general.

Despite you trying to be understanding, sometimes you couldn’t help but feel a sense of unwanted frustration towards your boyfriend. He made it up to you whenever he was back, you knew that, but it wasn’t the same. And you selfishly wished for more.

“I want you to be here more!” You yelled at him in frustration one night, having one too many drinks. “I know your job is hard—”

“No, you don’t know how hard it is. You have no idea what I go through.” Kyle snapped back, just as agitated.

“And you have no idea what it’s like sitting here waiting for you, watching all my friends and their partners and wishing I had that instead of praying you’re not dead.” Shaking your head in exasperation. He just laughed darkly, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry for getting my hands dirty so the world stays clean. Do you have any idea how dangerous some of these arseholes are?” Groaning in frustration, you push past him, walking down the hall to your shared bedroom.

“You’re missing the point.” Gritting your teeth, you huffed out a breath. “I’m not a priority for you.”

The harsh words make him stop, no longer stomping after you. It’s enough to make you turn around, and the hurt expression on his face immediately makes you feel guilty.

“What makes you think I don’t?” He whispered, voice barely audible as he blinked with uncertainty. Ducking your head, you look away from him, not being able to stomach the expression on his face anymore.

“It’s just… you always leave. There’s always something more important than me.” His expression twists with anguish and steps forward with two strides, hand closing around your wrist.

“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.” The dark brows on his forehead were pulled tightly together. His warm eyes, usually so calm and comforting, were wide and panicked. “You’ve always been a priority to me.”

The tears pricked in your eyes as his words dug into your skin, pulling down the defences you’d tried so hard to build around yourself. Shaking your head, you try to push him away, wiping furiously at your cheeks.

“I don’t feel like it, Kyle. You’re gone so often. And I know it’s important and I know I’m being selfish, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take!”

As if the universe decided to play a cruel joke on you, his phone began to ring. Kyle winced, closing his hand around your wrist tighter as he dug into his pocket. You knew whose name would appear on the screen before he even needed to tell you.

“It’s Price.” His voice sounded wounded, broken as he looked up at you, eyes desperate and pleading as the phone continued to buzz in his hand.

“Go on. Answer it. It’s important.” The iciness of your tone couldn’t be missed, despite trying to keep your expression dismissive.

“Fuck, babe, please.” He begged, keeping a firm hold on you and not letting you walk away. “I can fix this. We can fix this. I just—”

“You need to take it. Yeah, I know.” Shrugging, you leaned back against the wall, watching him as he gave in, putting the phone up to his ear.

“Sir?” The shift between Kyle and Sergeant Garrick was something you used to find attractive, enticing. Now, it just left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You watched the one sided conversation closely, Kyle’s face becoming more and more strained. His jaw twitched as he grit his teeth and you sighed, knowing what was inevitably coming. Flicking his eyes towards you, he saw the hurt on your face, the sad acceptance and his own heart pounded before opening his mouth.

“Actually, Captain, I was thinking about taking a bit of time off.” At his words, your ears pricked and head snapped up to meet his gaze. He met your eyes as his thumb tenderly grazed against the back of your hand. “Yeah, sir. Just something important that I need to attend to here.”

Dropping your wrist, he lifted his hand up to cup your cheek tenderly, pressing his forehead against yours. At this distance, you could hear the tinny voice of his captain coming through the phone speaker.

“Alright Kyle. Take care of yourself. And take care of that partner of yours. You’ve put them through hell this last year.”

“I know, sir. Need to sort out my priorities. See you in a few weeks.” And he hung up the phone, pushing it into his pocket and lifting the hand to join his other.

The pair of you remained there for longer than you cared to admit, your face tenderly held between his hands as you breathed deeply.

“You mean more to me than I ever could express. What you do for me, I couldn’t ask for someone better.” Curling your hands into the fabric of his shirt, you tugged him closer. Sliding under the cotton, you rested your palms on the warm, firm skin of his torso.

“I’m sorry—”

“No, you don’t need to apologise. I’m sorry.” He lifted his head up to look down at you with sincerity. “I have been putting work first, and not you. It always should have been you.”

“But I said those hurtful things—”

“Because you were upset, love. It’s okay.” His voice was smooth as he pulled you into his chest, wrapping his strong arms around you. “I love you, babe. So fucking much. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

Being wrapped in his arms had always made you feel safe, and this time was no different. Breathing in, you let his familiar scent surround you, settling deep into the back of your mind as you hugged him back tightly.

“Still no excuse for saying all that stuff before. The work you do is important. If you need to leave… I understand.” Deep down, you knew it was the right things to say. If Kyle was being called to work, it was something important and as much as you wanted him for yourself, others needed him more.

“No, love. I’m not going anywhere. There will always be another mission, but there won’t always be another you.”

Letting out a breathy chuckle, you lifted your head out of his chest, staring up at him with a soft smile.

“You really mean that?” His deep brown eyes sparkled with mischief as he backed you against the wall, tilting your chin up and lowering his face to seal his lips over yours.

His fingers curled into the hair at the base of your neck, holding you close as his lips moved slowly, dragging out the kiss. His warm breath fanned over your cheek as he groaned, cupping your cheek and letting his teeth drag across your bottom lip before pulling back.

You knew your lips were already swollen, the temperature of your body rising as your breath came out in short pants.

“If the choice is the mission or coming home to you, I’m coming home.” He whispered, thumbs tracing against your cheekbones. “You are what’s important to me.”

#crash writes #crash’s ask box #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #call of duty #gaz imagine #gaz fluff

[elliesfern]

bird cage - chapter ten

summary - you’re on the run after escaping the cult you grew up in, the seraphites. you run into a woman who completely changes your course and are unsure whether or not she will let you live.

pairing - fem reader x ellie. both characters are in their 20s.

warnings - kidnapping, violence, weapons, guns, blood, injury, burns, aggressive language, animal death, mention of hanging, alcohol, drinking, nsfw. 18+

a/n - i’ve gotta say guys, i think this may just be my favourite chapter so far. thanks for reading! x

ao3 link - https://archiveofourown.org/works/38383471/chapters/99283164

——————————————————————————————

Your feet swung in an impatient back and forth motion, dangling off of the edge of the bed as you waited for Ellie’s return.

You couldn’t help but go over the conversation you had heard between Cat and Ellie over and over in your mind, hoping that maybe if you thought about it harder you could come to some kind of conclusion about how much you didn’t care and then it would go away. But that wouldn’t happen. Because you did care.

Ellie’s love life should’ve been the very last thing on your priority list. You were in danger, you didn’t know if the people of Ellie’s home would listen to you, if they would kick you out, seperate you from her. If they’d torture you until you told them what they needed to hear. If you’d be hurt all over again, if you’d end up back at home. Your old home. You didn’t have a home anymore and that made your heart twinge a little.

You didn’t have room to care about what Ellie did, about how Ellie felt. It wasn’t your place. Your focus needed to be on yourself and how to survive, just how it was a mere week ago. Though you couldn’t help but remember her journal, and the precious way she wrote about you and did doodles of you. Didn’t she say she liked you? What did that even mean?

The front door opened to reveal an Ellie, struggling to balance two paper plates on one arm while using the other hand to twist the knob.

“Here ya go, ma lady.” Ellie handed you one of the plates and you couldn’t help the smile that involuntarily grew on your lips. The plate was filled with some kind of red meat, roast potatoes and green beans. Your stomach grumbled at the sight and you realised just how hungry you had felt, as if every day you had barely eaten in the last few months had built up to this one moment.

“It’s deer.” She said, and you dug in, feeling an accumulation of tastebuds dancing on your tongue. You hummed in delight, the heat from the potato creating a warm steam in amongst your throat.

“It’s so fucking good.” You said, Ellie’s eyebrows raising and body moving back from her position on the bed beside you.

“Sorry? Did you just swear?” She questioned, giggling as she made fun of your innocent nature. You just rolled your eyes and took another mouthful.

“I had to tell them I needed another plate because I was extra starving from my ‘big adventure’.” Ellie joked, holding her fingers up in air quotes.

“I think everyone was so worried about me that they’re kind of just letting me get away with whatever.”

“Must be nice.” You replied, thinking about the people back in your village who probably hadn’t even noticed you’d been gone. Ellie’s face dropped and she appeared to be deep in thought and you slightly regretted making the snide comment.

“I’m really sorry about Cat.” She said, her green eyes and freckly face looking directly at yours.

“Why are you sorry?” You asked, looking at her softly, but feeling your spine tense slightly at the mention of the girl’s name.

“I just feel like I have to apologise for her. I don’t know how much you heard…she’s just uh, a lot sometimes.” Ellie scrunched up her nose as the words left her mouth.

“And I mean, like, i’m sorry for forcing you into the bathroom. I know you don’t want to keep hiding and stuff. You shouldn’t have to.” Ellie’s voice was soft and genuine and had a slight rasp to it with the low volume. You nodded and gave her a small smile, meeting her eyes with yours.

“Did you really miss her?” You asked, and you wondered if saying that was crossing a line, or if you really even wanted to know.

“I did…but I also didn’t. We have a really complicated relationship.” The food in your mouth suddenly felt heavy and you could feel every inch of it slowly sliding down your throat.

“Why is it complicated?” You cringed slightly at how little you actually wanted to know anything about their relationship but you couldn’t stop yourself from asking.

“She was my first girlfriend…so I guess i’ll always care about her. But we grew apart. I just don’t love her how I used to.” She said, and looked at you as if every part of her brain was open on display in front of you and you knew that terrified her. You thought it was maybe the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. Even more beautiful than flowers and plants and butterflies and anything that grew from the ground of this earth. It was Ellie. Ellie was the most beautiful thing.

But that terrified you too. Being with Ellie - loving Ellie, it wasn’t possible. You were from completely different worlds. How did you expect to spend your days with her? Locked up, hidden forever? Maybe that would be okay. Maybe staying protected by Ellie for the rest of your life would be completely and utterly fine, because it was her.

“Are you okay?” Ellie questioned, and you realised you had been sitting in silence for god knows how long. You noticed the way your heartbeat had picked up in your chest and how your hands felt clammy when you rubbed them together.

“Can I shower?“ You said abruptly before your brain could even catch up to what had spilled out of your mouth.

“Of course.” Ellie said, her brows furrowing in concern and her hand raising to rest on your shoulder, which in turn made you panic more. You stood, placing your empty plate on the girl’s desk as she followed your lead, going to her dresser to pick out another one of her shirts for you to wear.

“I wont be too long, I get cold.”

“What?” The woman chuckled in confusion. “You can have a hot shower?”

“Oh.” You said, turning around once she had thrown you the shirt and heading to the bathroom with a face full of embarrassment.

You pulled out the shower handle, turning it slightly and stripping out of the clothes you had on. Holding your hand under the stream of water, you felt the change in temperature as it got warmer. The heat reminded you of falling asleep next to a lit fire, embers burning and making your cheeks turn pink. You stepped into the tub, allowing the warm water to flow over the crown of your head and drip down your shoulders.

An upbeat rhythm took you out of your thoughts, hearing what you assumed was Ellie blasting a song out of some kind of machine. You sighed, feeling overwhelmed at the thought of the girl just being on the other side of the wall. It was as if she didn’t feel real. Like your current life, being hidden away, standing in hot showers, Ellie, just didn’t feel like it would have ever been in your realm of possibilities. You had hope. A lot of hope that things would be okay, but you couldn’t help but constantly feel like you were in fight or flight.

Ellie made you feel both safe and in complete danger at once. You had this gut feeling like the girl would do anything to keep you protected - and maybe that was a bizarre or naive thought considering how you met. But you felt as though the way everything had played out had meant you could trust her. Because she could’ve killed you. But she didn’t. She hasn’t.

She was wildfire burning through a forrest. Or a tsunami crashing onto your shore. You often wanted to run away, but found yourself frozen, watching the beautiful disaster that the girl was completely unfold in front of you.

You heard the song change from the other room, and decided you had to check out what the other girl was up to. You hoped out of the bathtub and once you were dry, threw the t-shirt and your underwear on, your still-wet hair dripping down your back.

As you opened the bathroom door, you noticed the main lights had been turned off and a faint glow was illuminating the room from the fairy lights that were draped across the wall in front of you. The music was more clear then and Ellie had changed into a baggy t-shirt and shorts, and was wandering around the room swaying her hips.

“Oh, hey.” Ellie said with the biggest grin on her face. At once every ounce of unease you felt escaped you, leaving you with only a fluttery feeling at the sight of the girl ‘dancing’ before you. You never imagined that the Ellie you had first met less than a week ago would ever be in front of you like that.

“You wanna dance with me, princess?” She said, spinning her body around the room, and you wondered what had come over her. You laughed and shook your head, grabbing onto your own shirt in a clenched first as you suddenly felt like a spotlight had been placed right on you.

“I don’t know how.”

“I can show you.” Ellie came over to you, offering one of her hands out and you reluctantly took it, letting her lead you around the room, swaying your connected arms back and forth in a slightly awkward manner as if she didn’t really know what she was doing either.

“Joel found this CD for me years ago. It’s filled with like, random old love songs. I love listening to it when i’m not feeling great.” The brunette said, continuing to sway beside you to a song you weren’t really listening to because the whole situation was too overwhelming. Ellie took you by surprise when her grip on your hand tightened and she reached her arm up, causing you to twirl around on the spot beneath her arm. You couldn’t help but let out a giggle, and as the song came to a finish the two of you stood in anticipation about what the next song would be. You had never quite heard music like that, and didn’t at all understand how on earth it was coming out of a small oval shaped contraption that connected to the wall.

The pretty picking of a guitar was heard, this time the song being a little slower than the last and you looked at Ellie who still had ahold of your hand.

“I love this one. Come here.” Ellie instructed, using her hand to pull you closer to her until you could’ve counted every freckle that covered her cheeks if you wanted to. She guided both your hands up onto her shoulders, and you clasped them together, just grazing along the back of her neck. She placed her own hands on your waist, causing what felt like your heart to completely give in on itself. Your breath became shallow and you felt helpless to Ellie’s touch and gaze, and like every part of you wanted to run away but you were trapped right in that one spot, swaying so delicately back and forth. You listened to the song that was humming so effortlessly in the background.

‘Spinning on that dizzy edge

I kissed his face and kissed his head

And dreamed of all the different ways I had

To make him glow

Why are you so far away, he said

Why won't you ever know that

I'm in love with you

That I'm in love with you’

You and Ellie shared a grin, her eyes twinkling from the reflection of the lights.

“I’ve never done this before.” You said.

“How do you feel about it?” Ellie asked, her voice low and raspy once again and you couldn’t resist the magnetic pull it caused within you.

“I really like it.” Your voice almost a whisper then, as if it was the most important thing to keep the moment only between the two of you.

‘You

Soft and only

You

Lost and lonely

You

Strange as angels

Dancing in the deepest oceans

Twisting in the water

You're just like a dream

You're just like a dream’

You watched as Ellie’s gaze flickered down to your lips for a moment and your head spun, before your own eyes mimicked hers. Her pink lips twitched slightly and her tongue poked out for a moment to moisten the dry skin. Ellie’s green eyes looked into yours, practically begging for permission to close the gap between the two of you and your deep breaths came to a halt as one of the girl’s hands was removed from your waist, coming up to meet a strand of hair that was dangling across your face and tucking it behind your ear. Her soft palm rested on your cheek as Ellie began to lean forward and you felt the tip of her cold nose brush by your own and her warm breath tickle your lips.

A loud thud removed you from the situation, right before your lips had the chance to crash into Ellie’s, and as you spun around, you came face to face with a girl who had dark hair and was covered in tattoos, standing in the doorway.

“Who’s that?” She spoke, pointing to you and stepping into the room without permission. Her eyes locked onto yours and you suddenly felt naked as she scanned your face and stopped where the scars on your cheeks laid.

“Oh my god, that’s a scar.” Her voiced raised and Ellie was quick to put distance between you and the girl by standing directly in front of you.

“You’re fucking a scar!?”

“Cat, calm down.” Ellie desperately tried and alarm bells went off in your head at the name.

“She’s a fucking scar, Ellie! Her people killed us.” Cat was loud that time, loud enough for anyone in close proximity to hear and you knew it was completely intentional. You suddenly felt like maybe hiding in Ellie’s bathroom all day wasn’t so bad after all and wished more than anything to be able to go back to that.

As expected, a man came running into the room and had a gun in hand, pointed at you.

“Joel, put the gun down. Everything’s fine.” Ellie held her arm out in front of her as a blockade, and her other arm was slinked behind her and reaching out to you.

“Why have you got a scar in your room?” Joel questioned, refusing to lower the gun and you got the impression he wouldn’t stop at anything to protect her.

“I can explain everything. I just need you to be quiet so Maria and Tommy don’t show up.” Ellie pleaded, but almost ironically in that moment, an older blonde woman appeared from behind Joel and Ellie let out a deep defeated sigh.

“Come with me. We’re gonna put you in a holding room and then figure out what to do with you from there.” Maria said, and you nodded, knowing there was nothing you could do to change your fate.

“Put some pants on.” She said, and your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you quickly slid on some jeans Ellie threw you. A guard came over to you and everybody watched as your wrists were tied together in a similar fashion to how Ellie had done it. You lifted your gaze to see the girl you were just about to kiss had guilt smeared all over her face.

“I’m so sorry.” She mouthed, and her eyes looked as if they were on the verge of welling up with tears. You gave her a half smile, not wanting Ellie to worry or take the blame. It was your choice to be there, your choice to follow her home in the end. You didn’t want to regret it, even then, you hoped that maybe this would simply be a final hurdle to get over and then everything could be normal. But maybe that wasn’t realistic. Maybe you wouldn’t ever get that happy ending you wanted. Maybe you were simply put on this earth to give answers, to help some people who didn’t even like you, and then that would be it. You weren’t sure what awaited you, but you sure weren’t looking forward to it.

#tlou #the last of us #ellie williams #ellie tlou #fanfiction #the last of us x reader #tlouii #fanfic #ellie x reader #bird cage

[jinned]

💭

#literally how do you stop missing someone #it’s been over a year now since i’ve had that final™️ convo with my best friend #and my chest still literally aches with how much i miss her #i have never missed someone like this before in my life #i literally look at pictures of us and instantly start to cry and it’s been over a YEAR #we literally grew up together #i have a photo of us when we were four years old #but we grew up and grew apart and suddenly our needs changed #and ultimately i am not what she needs anymore #and i respect that really #i just wish i could fucking move on too you know #i’ve learned so much about friendship from her #and there was definitely a lot of times where i was straight up unfair and asked too much of her #and she wasn’t perfect either i know we both let each slide too often and called each other out when it wasn’t necessary #but this time it was like i was talking with a whole other person #our thing was we would always have sit down convos and talk about what’s bothering us instead of bottling it and it helped create a really #healthy dynamic for us #and when i communicated that my needs as her friend weren’t being met i just wasn’t expecting her to literaly verbalize that she was pickin #her boyfriend over me #to quote ‘you are not my priority anymore and i’m sorry but you’re just going to have to be okay with that now’ #which felt so weird to me because i never asked her to choose #she just was suddenly not texting me and leaving me on read and standing me up for planned events #and i think there was just so much miscommunication #but i see her at work all the time #and she just doesn’t even look at me #and hangs out with people who hate me. people who very proudly hate me and have hated me for three years now #and i have so many reasons to hate her but i cannot bring myself to ever think badly about her #there was legit one point HAHA HERE WE GO IM CRYING #there was one point in my life where if i had to choose her or my husband #i would have picked her

[pourcap]

thoughts: pg chapter 8

idk what's happening but i hate the regent

damen hurrying to get back to the camp and being genuinely worried about laurent when now, finally, he could escape without anyone getting in his way... so much has already changed between them and they're not even really close yet <3

his poor horse :(

yay laurent is okay !!

'You’re alive,’ Damen said, and the words came out on a rush of relief that made him feel weak. ‘I’m alive,’ said Laurent. They were gazing at one another. ‘I wasn’t sure you’d come back.’ ‘I came back,’ said Damen. ???? what was that omg i have no clue what's going on between them anymore but whatever it is, i am 100% on board <3 what laurent said made it seem like he was just as relieved to see damen as damen was to see him and that's really... unexpected? and sweet? and it makes me a little sad too because sometimes i feel like laurent appreciates damen for not being afraid to be straight with him, if that makes sense. damen doesn't sexualize him, doesn't really fear him (at least not enough to keep himself from being brutally honest with him), doesn't have an 'instinct for deception', etc. what i'm trying to say is, i feel like that allows laurent to be less guarded? which is also why he might've been so honest with damen at the end of chapter 7

damen checking laurent's body for injuries :'((

i genuinely think damen is one of my favorite fictional characters ever

'That’s why I think we should fight,’ said Laurent. ‘It’s the last thing I would ever do, and the last thing that anyone, knowing me, would expect.' aaaaaah that's so sexy of him!!! yes, win against your horrible uncle with damen by your side!!! <3

Laurent said, ‘I have recently learned that sometimes it is better to simply smash a hole in the wall.' he is still thinking about damen's strength vs. that grille :)))))

orlant died??? noooooo

wait what

orlant was an insurgent?? and aimeric killed him?? literally HOW is aimeric always right where something happens? like, either he's just there, or he's the cause. i mean, i'm happy he was there to look out for laurent, but still. how unlucky can one person be to always be right in the middle of things?

ugh sorry but i hate aimeric so much. everything he says sounds so overly dramatic. i know he just killed someone and he's young, but i just can't stand him. what does jord see in him? :((((

another mention of nikandros so i'm guessing there's a deeper connection between him and damen? bc, if i remember correctly, he's the only akielon other than damen's immediate family and jokaste that he's ever mentioned...?

Pulling his sword from the man who had tried to knife him, Damen saw the mercenary at his right fall victim to a precise killing. ‘I thought you were supposed to be the bait,’ said Laurent. that was so sexy of laurent

damen is seriously the coolest <3

He had achieved new status among them as the quick thinker who had saved half the men and all of the wine. lol. priorities :)

He leaned his back against the tree beside Laurent, and let his limbs feel heavy. at this point i'm drooling over everything damen does...

'It’s because of you,’ said Laurent. the honesty!!!

'(...) After what I did to you in Arles, he thought you’d be—another Govart. Another one of his men. (...) That was what was supposed to have happened tonight.' oh wow. i hate the regent and LOVE laurent and damen becoming a power couple <3

'Instead, you have saved my life, more than once. You have made fighters of these men, trained them, honed them. Tonight you handed me my first victory. My uncle never dreamed you’d be this kind of asset to me. If he had, he would never have allowed you to ride out of the palace.' sorry for once again quoting sm but i am sitting here smiling from ear to ear. that's exactly the kind of fuck you the regent deserves to get from both laurent and damen. plus a devastatingly long and torturous death obviously

i love this. i loooooooove this. i love prince's gambit so much <3

#capri #captive prince #damen #lamen #captiveprince #damianos #damianos of akielos #laurent #laurent of vere #damen of akielos

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of Med: Season 1: Glad I Didn’t Make it that Far (A Halstead brothers + Halstead sister! imagine)

Trigger warning: Talk of eating disorders

As always, I do not own any quotes from Chicago Med 1x04 that show up here!

Your age: 14

Jay's age: 28

Will's age: 30

"We should go to a movie," your best friend Emma suggested when you were sitting on the playground of Central Chicago's elementary school one summer day.

You had been coming here since it was pretty close to your house to be able to read without worrying that your dad would show up drunk. He wasn't violent, he was just rude, asking why there was no food and when you explained it was because he wasn't going shopping, he'd scoff and tell you to get a job if you wanted to eat. It wasn't your fault; you'd tried to get a job, but no one would hire you because you were only fourteen. Most places required that you be at least sixteen and the occasional place would let you start at fifteen, but only with very limited hours. And, the places that let you start at fifteen were too far away for you to walk to. You'd have to take the El...and that would turn out badly if Will and Jay found out, even though your dad wouldn't care in the slightest.

"Em, I don't have any money. I'm literally rationing out my feminine products at this point."

"Hey, just tell me if you need any. Me or my mom can get you some. Oh, and some neighbors of mine run a little kettle corn company. They're looking for some extra help on the weekends and they'll pay you under the table. I can give you their number if you want."

"Really?" Emma smiled and nodded. "Yes, please! And, you're the best."

But, what you didn't tell her was that you hadn't eaten since yesterday since there was barely anything in your house and that your cramps were killing you and because of all this, you were feeling nauseous.

"Let's go to the movies. My treat."

"I can't let you pay for me."

"Yes, you can. Best friends help each other out. Now c'mon, let's go." You sighed and closed your eyes as you stood up. "You good?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just dizzy."

"You wanna go home?"

"No, no I'm fine. Just seasonal allergies from all the pollen," you lied.

"Okay, let's go."

You started to slow down as you got closer to the movie theater. "I'm so excited to see The Longest Ride!" Emma squealed. "Scott Eastwood is just mwah!"

"Yeah, but he's- he's a lot-- I gotta, I gotta sit down," you stuttered, starting to feel more lightheaded and seeing your vision become blurry at the edges.

"Okay, let's get to the front where you can sit on the curb."

You slowly started to make your way there, but it was too late. "Em- Emma," you slurred as you tried to reach for her as your legs gave out underneath you, and then everything went black.

"Y/N!" Emma yelled as she squatted down next to you and pulled out her phone.

Just then, everyone started running out of the theater shouting something about a shooting.

***

Will's pager went off as he was eating with Natalie and the rest of the team from a taco truck outside of Chicago Med. And, everyone else's pagers were going off, too, making it sound like alarm clocks that were all set for the same time. Then, Maggie ran outside.

"Shooting in a movie theater! Mass casualties! It's about to get crazy!" she yelled to the doctors and other nurses. "EMTs are four minutes out!"

Not even a second after she finished her sentence, an ambulance pulled up with lights flashing and sirens blaring.

"Check that!" Will yelled as he threw his food in the trash can. "They're here!"

Then, all of them sprinted into the hospital, their main focus now being saving as many lives as possible.

"Another maniac gone crazy in a theater," Will said as he put something over his scrubs to keep them from getting blood all over them. "Is this the world we live in?"

***

You slowly opened your eyes to be met with the white ceiling and an IV in your arm. You groaned. "Where am I?" you asked as you rolled over to see Emma sitting on a bench. "Are we in an ambulance?"

"You don't remember?" Emma asked.

"You passed out, sweetie," a female paramedic told you as she put a blood pressure cuff around your arm. "Luckily for you, we came pretty quick after hearing about the shooting."

"The shooting? There was a shooting?"

"In the movie theater," the paramedic answered you. "You were lucky you didn't go in."

"Guess so."

Your eyes widened as you realized they were probably taking you to Chicago Med. You couldn't let your brother know that the most likely reason for you passing out was that you hadn't eaten since yesterday. They'd freak out.

"Am I good to go when we get to the hospital? I feel fine." You were still nauseous, but that was better than being passed out.

"You passed out, we need to get you checked out at the hospital."

"But I feel fine," you protested.

"I understand that, sweetie. But you need to get checked out anyway to make sure that there wasn't something that made you pass out other than the heat."

"She's right, Y/N," Emma said. "You need to get checked out."

You huffed. "Fine." Maybe Will would be too busy to even notice you were there. And, you figured your dad wouldn't pick up his phone, so you could just sneak out undetected when the doctors and nurses weren't watching.

When you got in, you were met by Natalie. "Y/N?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

"It's nothing. I just passed out. I'm fine, really."

"Shoot," Emma said. "My mom's here to pick me up. Said she doesn't want me here because of all the press since I'm not hurt. I'm sorry."

You waved your hand. "It's fine. Hopefully, I'll be getting out here soon, too. See you later."

"Bye, Y/N."

"If you passed out, you're not fine, Y/N," Natalie said.

As you were wheeled past a trauma room, you saw your brother. Luckily for you, he was too focused on his patient that he didn't notice.

"Want me to get Will?" Natalie asked when she saw you glance in there.

"No! I mean, he looks really busy and I'm not dying. They should be the first priority."

"Okay, well I'll have Maggie call your dad because after all the standard tests, if I need to do more, I'm going to need your dad's permission since you're still a minor."

"Okay."

"Hey, Maggie," Natalie called, "Do me a favor and call Y/N's dad for me. I just might need permission to run some additional tests."

"You got it."

You got on the bed in the treatment room and allowed Natalie to listen to your heart and lungs. "Were you part of the crush?" she asked. "Did you get the wind knocked out of you? Is that why you passed out?"

"No, I got dizzy before we could get inside. I felt nauseous, too, but I think that was just from period cramps."

"The paramedics said you were dehydrated and that they had to administer an IV. Have you been eating and drinking properly? I know it's hot and that can cause you to pass out. Other than that factor, have you been eating and drinking normally?"

"Yes," you lied.

"Okay, I'm just going to need to get your height and weight and other vitals before we continue."

You nodded and followed her to where she took your height and weight. She wrote it down and you started to walk out, but she stopped you. "Uh, Y/N, come with me."

You followed her to the doctor's lounge where she handed you her sweatshirt. "Why are you giving me this?"

"You bled through your shorts. There's free pads and tampons in the bathroom if you don't have any on you."

You nodded. "Thank you."

"Meet me back here once you're finished."

"Okay."

When you got into the bathroom, you took all the pads and tampons you could fit in your shorts pockets after you had finished changing your dirty one.

Now, it was time for your great escape. No one would see you; they were all too busy treating other patients and worrying about the press.

You were almost out into the waiting room, but then a voice stopped you.

"Y/N?"

Shit. Jay.

You stopped in your tracks but then continued walking.

"Y/N, I know you heard me. Come back."

You sighed and turned around, hoping you wouldn't have to spill all the secrets about what's been happening at home.

***

"Poor guy," Erin said as she and Jay exited Sharon Goodwin's office. "He thought what he was going was right."

"I probably would've done the same thing if I were in his shoes," Jay agreed. "I mean, if I thought I saw a guy with an AR-15 in a movie theater and then thought the shots from the movie were coming from the gun, I sure as hell would've acted. Not that my service weapon can shoot bullets off as much as my sniper, but I'd try. Try and save civilians."

"Jay." Erin placed a hand on his arm. "You're not in Afghanistan anymore."

"I know. There's just some sick and twisted people in this world. Why would someone go into a theater with a leaf blower anyway? With all the mass shootings that have happened, that's probably the stupidest idea I've heard."

"I agree with you. But he's just a kid. He didn't ask to get shot. But, if I were in that teacher's shoes, I'd probably do the same thing and draw my gun."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows as he saw someone walking towards the exit of the ED and towards the waiting room. She had shorts and a t-shirt on with a burgundy sweatshirt tied around her waist. Jay wouldn't have given it a second thought, but he knew you had the same gray beat-up Converse because he had gotten them for you for a birthday present two years ago and you always wore the same polka dot scrunchie when you needed your hair to be in a bun and needed it to be tight.

"Is that?..." Erin trailed off.

"I think so," Jay answered, quickening his pace to catch up with you before you got out of the ED and he lost sight of you due to the number of people in the waiting room. "Y/N!" he yelled.

The girl he thought was you froze for a split second and then continued walking, this time at a faster pace. That was all the confirmation he needed. "Y/N, I know you heard me. Come back."

You sighed and turned around.

"I was going to tell you," you mumbled once you were in front of him.

He scoffed and crossed his arms across his chest. "Yeah? And when were you planning on calling Dad? You know you're a minor so a parent needs to be notified."

"Y/N!" Natalie yelled. "I thought you left, I was so close to getting security to look for you. We couldn't get a hold of your dad and were going to call Jay since he's your secondary emergency contact, but he's here now, so if both of you could follow me then that'd be great."

"You got it from here, Erin?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, text me if you need me to pick you up and bring you back to the district."

"Will do. Don't let Voight bust my balls because I skipped out."

"I'll tell him Y/N had a medical emergency. He'll understand."

"Thanks."

You, Natalie, and Jay walked back into the treatment room where Natalie had been previously treating you.

"First of all, let me just say it was not a medical emergency," you told your brother.

"Oh yeah? Then why are you here?" he asked.

"I was feeling nauseous."

"And you came to the ED just because of some nausea?" He raised an eyebrow. He so knew you were lying.

Meanwhile, Will was walking out of a trauma room after Rhodes brought a victim up to surgery.

"Hey. You hear?" Reese asked as she walked up to the doctor. "The kid at the theater, the one who got shot, he didn't have a gun, he had a leaf blower."

"What?" Will asked, stunned. He had worked on that kid and knew that it wasn't good.

"Yeah, turns out it was some kind of prank." She was about to turn around to leave, but then stopped. "Oh, and your sister's here. Treatment one."

"What? Why?"

"I think she passed out or something. Dr. Manning's in there with her right now."

"Thanks, Reese."

Will barged into your treatment room. "So, she comes into the ED and nobody has the common decency to even notify me?" he asked rhetorically.

"You were busy treating other patients, Will. I was going to get around to it eventually," Natalie said.

"Natalie, please just finish explaining what happened. Or just start from the beginning because Will's here now," Jay suggested, not wanting to have to break up an argument between the two doctors.

Now it was Will who was the one who crossed his arms over his chest.

"So, Will, what happened was that Y/N passed out. She was almost inside the movie theater, but she passed out, so she didn't go in."

"The movie theater where the shooting happened?" Jay asked. You nodded. "Jesus, kid, if you would've gotten inside, you would've given both me and Will heart attacks."

"Sorry. But, I'm glad I didn't get that far."

"Yeah, us too," Will agreed. "So, why'd she pass out?"

"Can I talk to you two for a minute? Outside?"

They nodded. "Be right back," Jay told you.

"So, what's going on?" Jay asked once the three were safely outside of the room and out of earshot from you.

"Have you noticed anything strange with her eating habits lately? Any skipping meals? Going to the bathroom right after meals? Not wanting to eat?" Natalie asked the two brothers.

"No, nothing," Jay answered. "Granted, we don't eat with her a lot because she lives with our dad and we both live on our own."

"Okay, because since her physical check-up a month and a half ago, Y/N's lost fifteen pounds."

"Fifteen?" Will asked, flabbergasted.

"I thought she looked smaller, but I just thought I was hallucinating from lack of sleep because of all the crazy cases we've had," Jay said.

"No, she's lost fifteen pounds since her last check-up," Dr. Manning reiterated.

"So, what are you saying?" Will asked. "Our sister's anorexic? Bulimic?"

"I'm not saying any of those yet. But, I talked to Dr. Charles while Y/N was in the bathroom and she said to try and have her eat something, like the greasiest thing you can find in the cafeteria, and see what she does. We'll even leave the room after to chat and I'll have Maggie keep an eye on the bathrooms to see if she goes in there. If she refuses to eat or freaks out over it, then we might be dealing with anorexia. If she goes into the bathroom after, we might be dealing with bulimia. Or, it could be a combination of the two or just possibly her trying to lose weight. Has she ever mentioned wanting to lose weight to either of you?"

"No, not all," Jay answered. "Even when we went out after her last day of school, which I think was about two weeks after she had that physical, she ate a ton and she didn't go to the bathroom right after."

"But you did go home right after," Will pointed out.

"Yeah."

"But, with some bulimics, if they know that the food has already been digested, they won't try to purge. And, it sounds like the food had time to digest."

"Alright, I'll go grab her a bacon cheeseburger."

"And a side of mac n cheese," Jay suggested. "She loves that stuff." Will started to walk out, but Jay stopped him once more. "Can you pick me up a bacon cheeseburger, too? I'm hungry."

Will rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but just so you know, you're paying me back."

"I know," Jay said and then went back inside the treatment room.

"Where's Will?" you asked.

"He's getting you some food. How does a bacon cheeseburger and mac n cheese sound?"

God, your mouth watered just at the thought of the bacon cheeseburger alone. The juicy patty, melty cheese, and crispy bacon, yum. And, you hadn't had a burger in who knows how long.

"That sounds amazing honestly," you answered.

"Okay, good because that's what Will's getting you." He paused. "Is everything okay with Dad? Everything good at home?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," you lied.

"Did someone tell you that you were fat at all?"

Shit, he knew I'd lost weight. "No," you answered. "I guess I'm not just mindlessly snacking when I'm doing homework anymore. It's not like I'm trying to lose weight."

No way were you going to tell him that there was rarely any food in the house, not here anyway.

"Okay, good," Jay answered. Then, he looked out of the room to see Will talking with Natalie. But, they were close enough that you could hear them, so you turned your attention to the two as well.

"Hey, Nat," Will said, carrying a bag with three cheeseburgers and a side of mac n cheese.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I'm thinking, I only live a mile from you. So, when you go into labor, call me. I'll drive you here."

"Thanks, but...you know it could be three in the morning, right?"

"Sleep's overrated anyway."

Then, Will made his way back into your treatment room. "I wanna take you to the hospital," Jay mocked. "Very smooth, Will, very smooth."

"Will's got a crush, Will's got a crush," you said in a sing-song voice.

"Would you two knuckleheads keep it down? And no, I do not have a crush, I was just trying to be helpful."

Jay scoffed. "Yeah right. You totally have a crush on her, man. Now, give us the food and we won't say anything."

***

"Everything seem normal?" Natalie asked Will as Jay was still sitting with you after the three of you had finished your food.

"Yeah, she ate a little faster than normal, but we waited an hour and she didn't even get up to go to the bathroom, so I don't think that's the issue. She told Jay she wasn't trying to lose weight. She said she just wasn't mindlessly eating anymore when she was doing homework. But, I don't think that could make her lose fifteen pounds. Do you?"

"No. But unfortunately, given her height and age, she still has a normal BMI, so we can't do anything."

"Yeah, I get it. Me and Jay will keep an eye on her. It was around this time when our dad just kind of checked out on parenting us."

"What do you mean?"

"He wouldn't cook or really help us with anything. But, it was okay because our Mom was still around, so she'd cook and help us with things. He just thought we were old enough to deal with stuff on our own."

"Things that a teenager without another parent still needs help with."

"Exactly."

Jay poked his head out of the room. "Everything good? Y/N's asking when she can leave."

Will rolled his eyes. "Wonder where she gets that from."

"Shut up."

"I'll grab you the discharge papers," Natalie said and then walked to a nurse's station.

Just then, Will's pager went off. "I gotta go." He fished into the pocket of his scrubs. "You can take my car home and then just come pick me up from work and we can drive back to the district to get your truck. That way you don't have to bug Erin."

"Thanks, man. Go save some lives."

Natalie came back and handed him the discharge papers.

"Thanks, Nat. Me and Will will be sure to keep an eye on her, maybe have her over for dinner once or twice a week to monitor her eating habits."

"That's a good idea. Good luck with all this. Will told me that this was around the time that your dad clocked out on you, so maybe pay him a visit when Y/N's not there and check? I don't know if that's something you'd want to do or not."

Jay nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

"No problem."

Jay signed the discharge papers and then walked back into the room. "Good news."

"We can leave?" you asked excitedly as you sat up.

"We can leave," he confirmed.

***

You got out of the car and stood on the stoop of your house, Jay right next to you. "Jay," you started, "I have to tell you something."

"Okay, what is it? You can tell me anything."

You opened your mouth to tell him that there was barely any food in the house and that your dad refused to buy you feminine hygiene products because, by his logic, if he had another son, he wouldn't need to buy them, so you should buy them yourself.

But then, the door opened, revealing your dad.

"I was just going to say thanks for staying with me at the hospital. I would've left if you didn't stop me."

"You're welcome."

"Care to tell me where you've been?" your dad asked.

You knew he was just putting on a show because Jay was there.

"I was at the park and then me and Emma were going to see a movie and then--" your phone buzzed, alerting you that you had a text message.

"I've got it from here, Y/N. Dad, can I come inside?"

Pat Halstead nodded and you walked inside followed by your brother. "I'm gonna go upstairs and change," you said.

As you walked past the kitchen, you noticed a bunch of grocery bags, all of them full. He must've gone grocery shopping. At least you didn't have to worry about food for the next few days. But, you didn't know if he just did that because he finally listened to his voice mails and heard that you were in the hospital and were worried that they were going to find out that he was an unfit parent or because he finally came to his senses and realized that he was still responsible for you because you were a minor, which meant he needed to have food in the house.

As you walked upstairs, you checked your phone. It was Emma's neighbor asking if you could start helping her with kettle corn this Saturday. You responded with a yes because now, if your dad went back to not buying groceries, at least you'd be able to buy some for yourself.

A/N: Sorry this one was so short! It's kind of just to foreshadow the next installment of this. And, in the next installment, I will probably combine Seasons of PD: Season 4 and Seasons of Med: Season 2 because the storylines kind of go together. Anyway, thank you for reading! Please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to the taglist, just tell me and I’ll be happy to add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e 

#will halstead #jay halstead #imagine #chicago med #chicago pd #halstead bros #halstead brothers #halstead sister #halstead sister imagine #will halstead imagine #will halstead fanfiction #will halstead fanfic #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead fanfic #chicago med imagine #chicago med fanfiction #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd fanfiction #writing #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction

[dancingintheraindreamingonday]

You will always be the winter soldier - Chapter 5

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Author’s Note: 

This is a flashback of your past with Bucky. Somethings weren’t witnessed by Bucky or you because I just want to give more details about the thoughts of other people as well. So this is definitely written in a third person perspective. This chapter is really long but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway. 

Bucky sits in a plane to Munich. Sam got information that the leader of the Flag smashers are currently working there. 

Bucky remembers the last time he was in Germany. It feels like an eternity ago.

„Tell me why I need to watch this series again.“, Bucky looked absolutely annoyed. 

„Its a classic. Everyone knows this series. It’s like general knowledge.“ You answered while scribbling something on your paper. 

„ And why aren't you watching this series?“ 

„Well my love, I know this series by my heart.“, you smiled at him and then saying the exact same thing the actor said on the screen proving him that you really do know this series.

Minutes later you closed your math book with a loud thump and throwing it on the ground. 

"I'm sorry. I don't want to torture you with this series. Maybe I can make it up to you." You winked at Bucky and kissed him on his right cheek. 

„Probably you will find a way.“, Bucky smiled mischievously and kissed you right on your lips with both of his hands on your cheeks. 

You and Bucky weren’t virgins but you both never had sex with each other yet. It made you nervous. 

And Bucky was nervous as well.The last time he had sex was an eternity ago and women changed through the times. Now women are so much more emancipated and strong-minded.

You kissed him. On his face, throat, neck and down his torso. You wanted him as much as he wanted you. 

In this night you and Bucky didn’t have just sex- you made love that night. It was something absolutely soft, and warm and caring about it. 

There was no much of talking and there was no pressure- it was just pure love without saying the word itself. 

Everything changed from that night on. From that day on you both were a couple, without labeling it.

Two weeks later Bucky accompanied you to university. It was something he did regularly and you enjoyed it. It gave your the feeling he was just a normal guy spending time with his girlfriend. And James from Bucharest was  indeed almost a normal guy. While you were bubbling about a math problem no one except math students could understand, he noticed a man.

Bucky knew when he was being followed and it agitated him. 

Now that he wasn’t just concerned with his life but also concerned with your safety it made him anxious. 

He grabbed your right arm and pulled you in a small alley.

You looked at him confused and scared. „What’s going on?“, you asked not understanding his sudden behavior. 

„I wanted to give this to you.“ Bucky pulled out a small mobile phone from his pocket. You looked confused because you already had a smartphone in your trouser pocket. 

„It’s a safe line. So, if you’re in danger or you just think you’re in danger- call me and I will come and get you.“

„You’re scarring me. Are you in trouble? Are WE in trouble? Do we need to run?“ You looked at him, touching his face to make sure he calmed down.

„No. Don’t worry. Everything’s alright.“ Bucky lied. „I’m just taking precautions.“

You doubted this reassurance.

„I can ditch university. I can come with you.“

„No. It calms me down to know that you’re safe at university.“ 

„Okay. But don’t forget: If you jump, I jump, remember?“ You quoted the movie you both watched last night. 

„You’re stuck with me. Where you go, I go.“

He kissed the palm of your left hand. „I’m not going anywhere.“, Bucky lied again. 

And with that he accompanied  you to university. As he left, you walked into your class and you took out your phone and your homework. You checked the latest news. The day before there was a bombing in Vienna but on this day there were breaking that there’s a picture of a suspect. The picture showed no other than Bucky himself. Your heart stopped for a moment and you couldn’t think clearly. This explained his behavior and fear. You knew he was innocent- no doubt about that. You knew the man you fell in love with and James would never do such thing. The only conclusion was that he was being fraud by someone else. You decided to skip the class and go home to find James. 

When you arrived outside, the campus was quite empty because the majority of the students were already in their classes. As you walked to the gate a man was calling you.

„Hey! Wait!“ He jogged to you. 

„You’re working with Bucky, aren’t you? You’re his accomplice.“ The man in front of you assumed. 

„None of your business.“, you muttered. You wanted to pass him but he stopped you by grabbing your shoulder. 

„My name’s Sam Wilson and you really need to come with me.“, he said, scarring you with his words.

His grip was so tight that you couldn’t break free.

„Im not coming with you. Who do you think you are?“

„I’m working with Captain America.“ He said. You could hear the pride in his voice.

„So? That doesn’t make you an authority. I don’t trust you.“

„You saw the picture, didn’t you? You saw the picture of him in the newspaper. You don’t strike me as a dumb person, yeah? You know what this picture means. They are after him. They are already here. So I need your help.“

„Why do you need my help? He’s innocent. That picture is fake and I know it. But do you? Do you believe in his innocence or what aim do you really pursue?“

Sam didn’t answer but he also didn’t let go of you. So the only thing that you could do was to kick him between his legs. But your head start wasn’t for long. You can’t outrun an athlete. He caught you with his hand which made you stumbled and you fell face forward on the ground. Your lip was bleeding. 

„Im sorry. I didn’t intend to hurt you.“

As you looked around you saw police officers pointing their guns at you and Sam. 

„You called the police?!“ You asked unbelievably.

„Ey. They’re pointing their guns at me too. So no- I didn’t call the police.“ 

They handcuffed you both and took off. Sam talked with someone via earpiece: „I’ve got her but the police got us both. I’m sorry.“

At the same time, Bucky, Steve and King T’Challa were also handcuffed. Steve looked at his childhood friend and shared the information Sam just gave him: „I’m sorry, but they’ve got her.“ 

To say that Bucky was furious was an understatement: He would burn down the whole city if they’d hurt her. 

When you arrived at the office in Berlin you couldn’t stop all the questions that were floating in your mind. „Why are we here? Since when is Germany responsible for crimes that happened in Vienna or Bucharest? Why were German police officers in Romania? What the heck is going on?“ You asked but everyone was ignoring you. 

Minutes later a man entered the room and you realized that this was Tony Stark. „Who is that?“ He asked, pointing his finger at you. You didn’t bother to answer him. You just turned your head away. „Alright. Kinda mean but we will get the answers anyway.“ He sat down next to Steve. „Is the thing you have with him even legal?“, he asked you again.

„You tell me. He was born in 1917. I was born 80 years later.“

Tony scrunched up his nose. 

The screen was turned on and you saw James. „Why is he in a cage? Why is there no lawyer? Is this how Germany practices its law now? Did you tell him his right to silence?“ You asked almost aggressively 

„You’re audacious and naive.“, said a man in a suit. 

„Stop insulting me. James is as innocence as I am. He wasn’t in Vienna and I told you that from the beginning. And no one in this damn room is listening. You’re just looking for a guy to take the blame. I don’t know how America treats their suspects but here in Germany they have human rights as well. They have dignity and they are still treated with respect and decency. All people have rights. We learned that 70 years ago and we will never ever forget it, understand?“, you spatted. „You imprisoned and treat him as if he’s a monster.“

„My dear child, do you know what he just did today in Bucharest? The damage he caused?“, the man screamed. 

„But it were you with the loaded guns, right?“

„He’s not just a suspect. He’s the delinquent.“

„In some countries there is a trial for this question to be answered, but you seemed to be hangman and judge in once.“ You provoked him. This was so unlike you that you really couldn’t understand the anger that was inside you. 

„I like her.“ Tony said. „She’s loyal like a golden retriever.“

„Stop insulting me even more. I’m defending the man I love that doesn’t mean I’m a puppy wagging its tail.“ 

Before anyone could say anymore to worsen the situation the power was gone for merely seconds but the power was back, Bucky disappeared from the video. Everyone in the room turned around and looked at you. 

„How are you going to explain this.“ Tony asked you 

„Kid, you stay here. Don’t even think about leaving this room.“ As Tony walked downstairs he asked himself if you’re related to a woman he met over 20 years ago who happens to have the same last surname like you did. No, unlikely. Almost impossible. 

Bucky, in his winter soldier mode only had one aim: to kill as many people as possible. But something was off. He hasn’t been the winter soldier for quite some time and the impact you had. The thought that you were hurt made him even more lethal. His priority was to find you and made sure you were okay. So everyone who fought him was a threat, an enemy.

It ended in a cafeteria where Bucky held a gun to the head of a seemingly important man. Bucky was circled with dozen of agents, all pointing a gun at him. 

„Where is she? Where is (y/f/n)?“ Bucky asked

„She’s okay. You don’t need to worry about her.“, Steve assured Bucky

„I don’t trust you. I need to see her.“ 

„We can bring her here. So you can see it for yourself.“ Steve suggested while Bucky just nodded. 

Steve and Tony ran upstairs and Tony grasped Steve by his arm. „What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You can’t bring her downstairs to him. He’s dangerous and she’s just a kid. You can’t control him.“

„He isn’t dangerous and I don’t think he would hurt her. After all they are something like a couple. She knows him. And we will be there as well. Trust me, Tony. Nothing will happen.“

So they both accompanied you downstairs. 

You’ve got nervous, shaking uncontrollably. „You don’t have to do this.“ Tony said. 

„And I’m really sorry that I compared you with a golden retriever. I just think that loyalty is a great character trait.“

You smiled at him. „It’s alright. I’m sorry too. For being so angry and impulsive and arrogant.“

„Are you scared?“ Tony asks. „No, I’m not. I trust him. I trust the man I love. He isn’t the winter soldier anymore. And that he remembers me in this moment- that’s a good sign, isn’t it? So I had a little impact on him.“

Steve opened the door. You felt all the eyes of the agents on you. Thats really made you uncomfortable but you tried to ignore and only concentrate on James. You tried to relax. Your hands where cold as ice- something that always happens when you get nervous. You walked towards him. „You need to let go of this man, James.“, you pointed with your eyes at the man. „I’m alright. I’m safe.“ You approached him. „You really need to let go of him.“ Your voice was firmer. „The agents here are scared of you. They see you as a threat. So I’m begging you: let go of him.“ 

And Bucky let go of him. „They hurt you.“ He stated looking at your bruised lips. „No, they didn’t. I stumbled.“ You reassured him. „James, you need to put down the gun as well. The avengers aren’t the enemy. We can trust them. I do. I trust them and I think we might need their help.“ And you kissed him. Right in front of anyone. You heard the thump of the gun greeting the ground as James let go of it. 

You broke the kiss and caressed his cheek. But before Bucky could say anything you looked to your right and something you saw made you so scared. You pushed Bucky with all the strength you’ve got, making him stumble a few steps backwards. But that was enough to take his spot. 

Bucky saw the redness on your shirt before he heard the bang of the gun. Steve and Tony screamed „NO!“, but it was already too late. You looked at it and all the color of your face vanished. You started to fall but Bucky caught you, laying you softly on the ground. Soon you lost you consciousness.

Steve used the chaos to get Bucky out of there. „They will help her. But you need to come. It’s not safe for you here.“ 

During that time agent Sharon Carter kept Steve and Bucky informed but Bucky had a really hard time. „She’s still sleeping. You are not missing anything.“ She assured him. 

When you woke up you were greeted by non other than Tony Stark itself. He read a German magazine. „Do you understand what you’re reading or are you just looking at the pictures?“ 

He looked up and grinned. „Really nice pictures. But I also get help with the translating.“ He pointed to his high technology-glasses. 

„How do you feel?“

„Exhausted but okay.“ 

You looked around and you saw James standing in the door frame. „James“ you whispered, reaching out for him. „I’m so relieved that you’re fine.“ Bucky looked at Tony who faintly shook his head indicating that you were still oblivious about the fight in Leipzig and the separation of the avengers. 

„What happened after I passed out?“, you asked

„You mean after you got shot.“, Tony corrected you. 

„Why did you pack?“, you ask James, forgetting the last question you just asked. 

„I’m leaving for Wakanda. They offered me to free me from the mind control and I’m gonna take that chance.“

„Take me with you. I want to be with you. I can’t imagine a life without you. Please, James.“ 

He looked you deep in your eyes. You could see how he’s debating on the inside. „Okay.“ And he kissed you passionately. 

Tony didn’t like that idea at all. „Okay, lovebirds. We better should look for a doctor to sign the release papers and you can rest a bit more.“ He ushered Bucky out of your room and when the door closed he let go of his facade.

„You can’t take her with you. Thats really selfish of you. She’s kid. She can’t throw away her life for you. She is not your psychologist. You know exactly what you are. You’re a murderer. Nothing will ever change that. You’re destroying her life. And you don’t care because after all you will always be the winter soldier. Nothing will change that.“

Bucky looked at Tony like he just got slapped. „I know who and what I am. I will never be good enough for her. Yeah, maybe I’m selfish taking her with me but I can’t imagine a life without her. I love her and I will protect her. I promise.“

„But can you protect her from yourself?“ 

As you packed your belongings James waited outside your room. „You don’t have to go with him. You don’t need to throw your life away. You don’t owe him anything.“, Tony stated. 

„I’m not throwing anything away. He’s my future. He’s anything I’ve ever wanted. Wakanda will be an adventure and I’m ready to take it.“

Tony suppressed all the things he wanted to tell you. He hugs you and said instead. „If he hurts you in anyway, call me. I’ll come and get you.“ He caress your hair and without noticing he took a single hair of you. He needed to know who you were to him. He couldn’t ignore his curiosity anymore. 

Chapter 6

@inlovewith3 @jackiehollanderr @homesicam @dreamydreamerwriting @losers-club6 @gengen64 @agentsofsheilds @crimson-darling @akkinda10 @xemine @bubblegumholland @chipilerendi @iamasimpingh0e @bbmommy0902 @madddiiee26 @teenagedreams-bucky @aya-fay @idontknowwhatthisisfam @w-wolfhxrd @useless-creature-213  @angywritesstuff @supernaturalcat7 @harrys-stan @geek-and-proud

#sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barns x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes feels

[mandoalorian]

Borrowed Time [Din Djarin x F!Reader]

ੈ♡˳‧₊*: • Chapter 6: The Proposal ✩࿐ ˚.✧

Summary: You are the princess of Mandalore, held hostage on your own planet by Moff Gideon and his army of Imperial troopers. Left with no choice, you send out a distress signal; a plea for protection— and who comes? None other than Din Djarin, a foundling of The Death Watch. He, by creed, is your sworn enemy. And where you have asked for his protection, he has been told by his mentor that he must marry you and gain the ability to restore Mandalore to its former glory.

Word Count: 3000>

Warnings: arranged marriage mention, childhood trauma mention, food mention

Series Masterlist

Why was he so nervous? He shouldn’t be this nervous. Din was subconsciously pacing backwards and forwards, the weight of the beskar wedding ring pulling him down with every step he took. You were sitting in the corner, cradling Grogu in your arms and cooing sweet nothings into his ear. Grogu looked up at you with complete adoration, his big, dark eyes gleaming with admiration. Din could understand why he was so fond of you. You were so easy to love. 

“I’m hungry,” you announced with a small frown. You had been stuck in the covert for around four hours and it was already well into the evening. “And so is he.” you said, smoothing your hand over the little green bean’s wrinkly forehead. Din omitted a small ‘hmph’, simply acknowledging your comment but choosing not to do anything about it. Everytime he looked at you, the butterflies in his stomach only became more erratic, and his heart swelled with yearn and anticipation. He was actually going to ask you to marry him.

There was no telling how you’d react. But rather than manipulating you into believing he loved you in order to gain the throne of Mandalore, like he had initially planned on, Din had gained far too much respect for you to do such a thing. Besides, how could he possibly pretend to love you when the chances were, he was already falling. So he had opted to be honest, and it would be brutal. But he had no other choice. It would be foolish for you to refuse his proposal considering everything that was at stake. 

“We need to talk.” Din announced, taking Grogu from your arms and settling him down into the hovering cot. Taking a handful of sourberries from the sack in his pocket, he dropped them into his son’s claws and used his gauntlet to close the crib, offering a sense of privacy. 

“We need to talk,” you quoted him, your frown only deepening as you stood up. “That doesn’t sound good.”

Din shuffled around awkwardly. He’d never imagined marrying anyone. He was a lone wolf, and always had been. But now he was with the most beautiful princess in the entire galaxy, and you looked like something straight out of a fairytale his mother would read him when he was just a child. You were too good for this world. You were filled with care and compassion and unconditional love, but not only that, you were a warrior and a fighter. You knew what you wanted and you wouldn’t stop until you got it. And it was his duty, as a Mandalorian, to protect his Manda’lor. 

“We’re surrounded. By Imps… hunters… people who want you dead. People who will turn you in for a reward. You’re safe, here, in the covert. But we’ll have to leave eventually, and it won’t be easy.” Din confessed, shaking his head. He sounded uneasy, and the tone of his voice wasn’t lost on you. Just for once, you wished he’d remove that helmet of his so you could take a look into his eyes. It would help you gauge what exactly was going on.

“But the Mandalorians here will protect me, right? That’s what you said?” you asked, and Din wanted to curse himself. You were right, he did promise that, but as it turned out, not everything was as it seemed.

“On a condition…” he exhaled, trying to hold himself together. You furrowed your eyebrows in bewilderment, waiting for him to spit it out.

It annoyed you, slightly. Din hadn’t mentioned anything about conditions before. As far as he and the other Mandalorians were concerned, you were the Manda’lor, and so you expected the warranted protection from them without question. And honestly, Din had thought that too. 

Din squeezed his eyes tight shut and tried to compose himself. He felt guilty, in a way. He could ask you this and even if you agreed, you could still hate him. And he really didn’t want you to hate him. He’d grown attached to you, and gained feelings for you, and it wasn’t ideal for a man of his nature, but it was just the way it was. You’d come into his and Grogu’s life and changed it completely. 

Maybe marrying you wouldn’t be so bad. You were kind and gentle and absolutely beautiful. And Din had considered settling down before. Maybe this was his moment. He just had to suck it up and go for it.

“They will protect you only if you join the creed… our creed,” Din informed you, taking a deep breath. You stiffened up, wondering what exactly this implication was. You could never join his creed. He was Death Watch, responsible for the war and murder of not only Mandalore’s civilians, but also your mother. “Since you were born into another creed, and you are not a foundling, the only way you can join the Watch is through eloping.” Din continued and you couldn’t contain the small gasp that fell from your lips. You watched as the Mandalorian fished out the beskar wedding ring and held it before you between his gloved fingers. 

“Are you… are you proposing?” you asked, feeling the tears well in your eyes.

“This is the way,” Din replied softly, and you had to force yourself to look away from the silver ring. “Please, please understand.”

“We… I…” you were speechless. Asking you to join his creed who you had spent your whole life despising (and for good reason) was one thing, but then asking you to be his wife as well? Those were two very separate ordeals that you were not expecting when you woke up this morning. “We’ve only just met…”

Din closed his eyes and sighed, preparing to face the rejection. “I know.”

“And I-- I can’t join your creed. I can’t. I can’t do it Din.” you pursed your lips together as you tried to hold back the tears. “Please don’t force me.”

“Hey hey, no, I would never force you,” Din shushed, stuffing the ring back into his pocket and taking a step closer to you, breaking any distance. He wrapped his strong arms around you and pulled you into his chest. “I wish there was another way, but there isn’t. The Armorer has made that very clear. If you refuse, then you’ll have to leave, and I won’t be able to help you anymore. I-- I don’t want you to leave…” Din admitted quietly and you swallowed.

“I don’t want to leave either.” you confessed, wiping away your tears and looking up at him. 

“It’s your call. But you have until nightfall.”

It wasn’t necessarily the marriage you had a problem with -- but how could you join a creed that you spent so long hating? A creed that had caused you so much distress and dismay. 

“The Watch has done bad things, and I can’t… I can’t. Din… you must understand.”

“I do,” Din said, taking your hands and sitting you back down. “My parents--my real parents--were killed by Separatists. It’s been thirty years and I still can’t think about it. They are my enemies, and to be asked to join them would feel like treason to my own bloodline.”

Obviously, Din had no idea why the Imperial’s had targeted a bounty on you. He had no idea why they wanted you so bad. But you knew exactly. The burden on your shoulders of being a runaway princess who was also pretending to be the Manda’lor was unbearable, but the knowledge of you being the Manda’lor was the only thing keeping Din by your side. If he learned the truth, he’d have no reason to protect you anymore. He’d leave you, just like everyone else had. And you couldn’t even blame him.

All you had to do was retrieve the darksaber once more and regain your right of passage to the Mandalorian throne.

“How can you just sit here and let them do this, let your creed do this? I get that they’re traditionalists but their actions have caused the onslaught of millions. They’re a danger.” you shook your head.

Ever since you had told Din of what his creed had done to your home and family, he’d thought about it, a lot. The process of leaving the Watch was never an option. They had brought Din up, trained him, and protected him. He owed it to them to stay. But if what you said was true, could he really stand and represent such a harmful community? He had a son to look after, and you. The last thing Din wanted was to get unbeknownst wrapped up in some terrorist organization he once called home.

He was grateful for the Watch, and the Armorer, but they had blackmailed him and gaslit him. He’d been so blinded by it all this time, brushing off their actions as ‘the way’ and knowing to never question it. But now it was all becoming more clear, especially after telling him that your protection relies on you joining their creed.

He understood how great it would be for the Watch if the literal Manda’lor became a member, but that didn’t mean it was right. Din’s delay in a response prompted you to speak up again.

“I’m sorry, this isn’t your fault.”

Din looked back up at you and tilted his head slightly as he admired your delicate features and tear stained cheeks. “Look, I shouldn’t say this, but as long as you pretend that you’re part of the creed and pretend to follow our rules, then there shouldn’t be much of an issue. We can utilize our warriors and get off Nevarro in one piece, and that should be our priority at the minute,” You nodded your head in understanding. He was right. “But we still need to elope. If you agree, the Armorer will bear witness and marry us tonight. And we can head out first thing tomorrow morning, before dawn.”

You bit your lip as you contemplated his suggestion. It wasn’t a bad call at all. It was simply just a negotiation. Din began to prepare himself to face another bout of rejection, but instead, you reached back into his pocket and took out the beskar wedding ring. Examining it carefully in your hands, you slid it down your wedding ring finger and held your hand to the candlelight, admiring the way it sparkled against your skin.

“Okay.” you hummed, not tearing your gaze from the ring. It was a symbol of commitment, although you certainly weren’t happy about it. What other choice did you have?

“Okay?” Din repeated incredulously. 

“Okay,” you said, eventually looking up at the Mandalorian and offering him a shrug of your shoulders. “I’ll marry you.”

An air of silence filled the room, but, just like always, it was comfortable.

“I’ll go tell the Armorer--” Din said eventually, straightening out his posture. He couldn’t get the image out of his head. You were going to be his wife.

“--Din?” you said before he could leave the room. He paused in his tracks but made no effort to turn around and face you. “Thank you. For everything.”

The guilt was eating you alive. You had been lying to him. He’d taken you in, done everything in his power to protect you, and even trusted you with his kid. And this entire time, you had been lying to you. He was going to marry you because he believed you were the Manda’lor.

And you weren’t.

That was going to be an issue.

When Din returned from his conversation with the Armorer, he informed you that the ceremony would take place at midnight. And that you were both to exchange vows.

“With all due respect, we barely know each other. Vows might be a problem,” you giggled, feeling a blush cross your cheeks from his presence alone.

“We’ll do the traditional Mandalorian vows, then.”

You weren’t really surprised, with his creed in particular being such traditionalists. It wasn’t a bad option, though. “Do you think… uhm… before the ceremony, we could spend some time together? Learning about each other? In the midst of all this chaos, I think it would be nice to just… talk.” 

Why were you so nervous? Clearly, Din was a man of a few words. He wasn’t one to just ‘talk’. But after this sacrifice you’d made, Din thought it was the least he could do. You were going to be his wife, after all.

“Okay.” Din mumbled, sitting down next to you.

“Uhm…” you felt your voice trail off as you wondered what you could ask him. “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Don’t have one.” He answered quickly.

“Everyone has a favourite colour.” you retorted, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Not me,” Din responded, and he was thankful in that moment his helmet shielded you from seeing the smile that graced his lips. He loved it when you pulled faces like that. He thought it was adorable. “What’s yours?”

“Uhm…” you thought for a moment, and then remembered the colour of your favourite and most delicious fruit. Sourberries. You hadn’t stopped craving them since the morning. “Pink.”

“Okay…” Din replied, storing that piece of information to the back of his mind as he pondered a question to ask you. “What was it like, growing up in a palace? Being royal.”

You and Din had led very different lives growing up, there was no doubt about that.

“It was all I’ve ever known. I recognise my privilege but… it wasn’t always easy.” you replied. You had never really talked about your experiences simply because you had no one to talk to them with.

“I remember when Duchess Satine died,” Din said, his voice quiet knowing that the mention of your mother might still have been sensitive. “Were you alone, after that?”

“Not really. My aunt looked out for me. And… there was this one Jedi Knight.” 

Now that was certainly something you had never expected to talk about. In fact you had been warned by Bo-Katan to never mention the relationship between your mother and that one particular Jedi. You couldn’t remember him clearly, but still to this day, you felt some kind of attachment to him. It was hard to describe. It was a type of unconditional love. He was always there for you and Satine, protecting you both. Similarly, it was just like how Din protected you and Grogu.

He never spoke to you, but when you needed him, he was there. You could always rely on him. You weren’t sure where he was now, or if he was even alive. It had been many years.

“A Jedi?” Din questioned, his curiosity piquing. He remembered what the Armorer had told him when he took in Grogu -- about his ‘kind’ being Jedi. About how they were enemies. Sorcerers. “Wasn’t there a war between the Mandalorians and the Jedi?”

“There was, yes,” you said, looking down at the floor. Din pulled off his gloves and took your hand. The skin on skin contact was enough to take your breath away. He rubbed comforting circles into your wrist as he waited for you to continue. “But my mother, like the Jedi, was a pacifist.”

“I wouldn’t say the Jedi were pacifists…” Din uttered a little too quickly.

“You have a point,” you replied after a brief moment of silence. “But this Jedi in particular… he was a good man. I wish I could’ve met him in my adolescence. I wish I could thank him.”

“Do you remember his name?” Din asked, his mind immediately thinking about the prospect of somehow locating the Jedi. If there was a way he could bring his parents back and thank them for all they had done, he would. This man was clearly a parental-like figure to you, and if he was important to you, he was important to Din.

“I don’t,” you shrugged helplessly, biting back more tears. “A few years ago I asked my aunt. I know she remembers but she just chooses to withhold that information from me. She tells me that she’s doing it to protect me.”

“I’m so sorry.” Din whispered, smoothing out your hair and pressing a keldabe kiss to your forehead. The coolness of his beskar helmet stung your forehead and, in that moment, you found yourself yearning for more.

You yearned to feel his body heat and the warmth of his lips. You yearned to see his face and memorize every detail. You yearned to tangle your fingers in his hair… you assumed that he did, in fact, have hair. 

At least now, you wouldn’t have to wait so long.

“I should get ready for the ceremony, and you should too,” Din declared, eventually pulling away from you completely. He dug into his pocket and pulled out the small sack of sourberries that he’d gotten earlier. “These are for you.” he said, putting the sack into the palm of your hand.

You loosened the straw ribbon and took a peek inside. It was the pretty pink fruit you had been craving for so bad.

When you told him you didn’t like the bone broth, he’d gone out and found you sourberries.

Even though he said they were far too expensive.

He’d done it for you.

Because he loved you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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Taglist for Borrowed Time in the replies.

#din djarin x reader #din djarin #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #grogu #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #baby yoda

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 32 (01/10/21)

Brody was missing from this session so Joker filled in for him.

(also, as weird as this sounds, cw for mentions of blood IRL)

…

Astro: Joker, do you wanna vouch for me that I didn’t kill this person? Joker: Astro and Skizz didn’t, but Astro was thinking about it. So, you know, take that for what it’s worth. Etho: We all have those thoughts though.

...

Impulse: I will admit, I have a weird new role that I don’t know what it means. Astro: Poisoner? Impulse, the poisoner: No. Skizz: Jerkface McJerkyton? That’s not new.

...

*Evil and Skizz are accusing each other, Astro is the deciding vote* Astro: I have a question. Give me a number between one and twenty. Skizz first. Skizz: Wow. I go first? Astro: Yup. Skizz: Uhh… ten. Astro: Okay. Evil? Evil: Eighteen. Astro: By the… laws of the… averages, uh… *votes* Sorry, Evil.

...

Joker: I’d like to make an announcement. Skizz: Go. Joker: I’m not friends with Skizz anymore. He marinated me. I’m not talking to him anymore, so if someone can tell Skizz this information, that’d be great. Skizz, laughing: Impulse, if you could tell the Joker I don’t care.

...

Etho: I trust Evil the most this round. Evil: ...and I’m not sure I trust you, Etho. Impulse: Ooooohhh. Spicy.

...

Evil: -and when I came back up, Pearl was dead. And I only heard one other voice. And he’s a very slippery fruit. Endless: Oh dear. Impulse: Apples are slippery too. It wasn’t me, though. Tango: Go slip on an apple! Endless: I was reading way too much into that statement, okay, let’s go.

...

Impulse: I was heading to the microwave in the cafeteria to cook a burrito. Skizz: Was it bacon and egg or bean and cheese? This matters. Impulse: I didn’t make it to the cafeteria cuz this got called. Tango: How do you know it was a burrito, then? Skizz: OOHOOHOOO. VOTING IMPULSE. Impulse: Cuz that’s what I’m hungry for! Allow me to dream!

...

Joker: I was there with the body. It was Endless. The last thing he said, and I quote: “Joker is amazing. And I’m sorry that I have to die.” Impulse: Don’t buy it. Don’t buy it. Joker: That’s what he said. I held his body as he died and that was the last thing he said. *pause* Joker: He also said “make sure to let everybody know that Skizz smells like poop.” Skizz: Ah, there it is.

...

Tango: Voting Skizz. Skizz: Whoa! Impulse: Was Skizz on the stack? Etho? Skizz: I was several steps away from it. Tango: I dunno, Skizz deserves to be voted off. Joker: I mean, I have to agree with that.

...

*Skizz cut his foot on broken glass during the break* Endless: Not gonna lie, my wife would kill me if that happened. She’d be like “yeah I’m sorry about your foot but what’d you do to the carpet?” Tango: Yeah, you heal; the carpet doesn’t.

...

Impulse: Think we might have to go another round without Skizz. Joker: Are they gonna have to amputate? Impulse: Probably. Joker: Yeah, I’d imagine so. Impulse: Be cool if he got one of those peg legs. Joker: I think he’s got an extra foot in his mouth, so he can use that. Evil: Wow… Impulse, snickering: Brutal. Joker: Was- Was that too soon? Impulse: Too soon, too soon. I mean, the dude’s still bleeding, you know?

...

Tango: Is Skizz back? Skizz: I’m back. Tango: Eyyyy, Skizzleblood! Skizz: Dude, I cleaned up all the glass, I cleaned up all the blood- Tango: Tell me it’s like a crime scene in your living room right now, that’s all I wanna hear. Skizz: -and then I made myself a drink and I’m coming up the stairs - I have tile stairs - and I’m like “oh there’s blood all over the stairs- I’ll get that later.” Tango: YEAH! Priorities! That’s what I like to hear!

...

*Skizz’s colour has turned from blue to grey due to a glitch* Tango: So Skizz, you’ve been grey. Skizz: I got- I got nothin’. Tango: Did you- How much blood did you lose? Are you turning into a- Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Evil: Zombieeeee.

...

*body is reported* Tango: I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! *pause* Endless: Congratulations? Tango: I PIPED!

...

Joker: If Tango could just finish his pipe dream earlier, the game would’ve been over. Tango: Is there a kick feature in this game? Just curious, asking for a friend. Endless: Yeah, if you go into the chat, there’s a boot option. Tango: OH! Joker: Endless. Shut up.

...

Evil: Do we wanna switch maps and see if there’s more stability? Tango: Yes. I’m done with this map. Impulse: But I just took pictures! Tango: Can we play, like, the real map? Impulse: I got kicked off the ship for taking those pictures! Joker: Whoa. I dunno what I just walked into but that did not sound right. Endless, overlapping: Yeah, I’ve been there. That’s- That is not something you want on your record.

...

*Impulse saw Tango morph back from being yellow* Impulse: *calls meeting* Impulse: What’s it like when an apple tries to become a banana? Skizz: Ooh, it’s like a smoothie! Endless, chuckling: What? Skizz, in a funny voice: Put a little blueberry in there. Tango: We got a little fruit action going on there or what? Joker: How much blood did you lose, Skizz? You feeling okay?

...

Skizz: Etho. Say words. I like your voice. Etho: What’s up, buddy? What do you want to know? Skizz: I wanna know why you killed sweet Pearl. Etho: Which round? Skizz: Ohohh man. THIS round! Body’s not even cold!

...

Astro: We’re trying for our first task win. Oh, unless Joker’s not gonna do his task. Joker: I- Uh… What, Astro? Astro: Huh? What? What? Where? Huh? Joker: Tasks?

...

Skizz: Who is not doing their tasks?! What IS that? Astro: I’ll give you seven guesses. Skizz: Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker. Joker: Someone called? Skizz: Are you- Are you not- Do you have tasks, Jokes? *long pause* Joker: Um… Are we talking about like, around my house? Skizz: *sighs* Okay.

...

Joker:*reports a body* Joker: OH I found this! Impulse: *laughs* “Oh I found this”? Joker, also laughing: I don’t know why I said it that way.

...

Skizz: Can you do your last task? Cuz that would just be super. Joker: Yeah, Endless. Can you do your last task? Endless: My tasks are done, dude! Joker: Oh. Then I guess you don’t need to do it. Skizz, why are you asking him to do his last task? Skizz: Talking to YOU, Jokes.

...

*Mrs Tango’s body is reported* Endless: It’s just Mrs Tango, let’s move on. Joker: That’s rude, Endless. Endless: Skipping. Moving on.

...

Endless: Whoever killed Mrs Tango, you’ve got my full support. Joker: Endless. Stop it.

...

Impulse: I wonder if Endless and Evil were both imposters and they were trying to cover it up by having a fake conversation in the upper left engine. Evil: No, it was a conversation about the fact that I miss him. Impulse: Yeaaaaah, that felt strange. Like, nobody misses Endless ever. Skizz: Yeah that’s definitely fake. Impulse: That’s what sold me, dude. I was like there’s no way he’s giving him compliments.

...

Skizz: I love you buddy but I just- I’m not even gonna vote for you, I just want to put some sus because- Impulse: You’re wrong. You’re wrong; you lost too much blood. You’re wrong. Skizz: That could be it. That could be it. Impulse: You’ve admitted that you’re off tonight, right? Skizz: No I didn’t, I’ve been crushing it. I was off on Etho ONE time and it got me a little- It shook my confidence. Impulse: Get me voted off, Skizz. I want your confidence to be crushed. Skizz: Oh…

...

Joker: You know what, I just wanna vote Endles out cuz I’m getting tired of his… poop. Endless: Do it, let’s do it. Etho: He might be jester. Endless, in an ominous whisper: Yesss, I’m jester.

...

*Joker is ejected* Endless: If this is wrong, we’re never gonna finish this game. Joker: Nope. You’re not. Now you gotta figure it out. Skizz: If we’re wrong, you gotta [do your tasks]. Do it for me. Oh, that was never gonna sell him.

...

Skizz: I think Impulse might be jester, I think the imposters are Etho and Evil, and the only legit people are me and Pearl. Impulse: *gasps* Evil: Wrong. Skizz, you are so wrong. Skizz: I KNOW I AM; I CAN’T DO THIS GAME ANYMORE! I WAS SO GOOD WHEN WE STARTED! I HATE THIS GAME! Pearl: You are wonderfully right, I had my hand on that scanner. Skizz: I BELIEVE PEARLY POP! VOTING EVIL!

...

Skizz: Hey! Tango! Why is Joker done with his tasks like three weeks before you? Tango: I dunno, man. I don’t know what’s happening right now. Joker: Yeah! Yeah! How’s that, huh?! How about now, sucker?! Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Joker: I- I dunno, I felt… I felt vindicated for some reason.

#impulsesv #tangotek #skizzleman #etho #misterjoker #theendless #evilnotion #mrstango #pearlescentmoon #astrozoan #friday night stabby #friday night stabby quotes

[atlafan]

The Tutor - Part Two

a/n: thank you all for the support on the original one shot. I just really love these guys, so I had to make a part two, and may even go back to them at some point for some other fun stuff, but for now, here’s the second half of fall semester! Read part one here! 

Warnings: angst, we start out with a lot of angst I’m so sorry. Plenty of fluff and smut to balance it out though! Partying, alcohol consumption. 

Words: 18.7K

Part Three

Harry thought he was going to be sick. There it was, sitting right in front of him on his desk: C-. For the life of him he couldn’t remember the last time he did so poorly on a test. It was for his Conversational French class. Harry knew French well, that’s why he was in a higher level course. Most students needed a full year of a language, but he only needed one because he tested out of the lower levels. It was his own fault.

The night before the test when he should have been studying he was buried deep inside Y/N. The hockey team had won an away game, and she asked him to come over for a little while and he physically couldn’t say no to her. He didn’t think he would end up staying the night, but he did. Y/N had whispered that she wanted to do it again, and she had pinned him down, and he sort of really liked that so once again he didn’t say no. And the way she was riding him and panting his name and looking down at him with her big eyes. Anyone would have stayed the night after that.

He knew he didn’t do his best on the test, but he thought he’d at least get a B, not a fucking C-. He sighs heavily as class ends.

“Monsieur Styles…” The professor makes a come her motion with her pointer finger. He turns around and walks over to her desk. “Normally I wouldn’t be so worried about a C, but you always get A’s on your tests, what happened?”

“I…I guess I didn’t study as much as I should have. Maybe I just got cocky and thought I knew the material more than I did…”

“Harry, you’re always going to the study group meetings, did you not go last week?”

“No, something else came up.”

“Like what?”

“Well…” He runs a hand through his hair. “My girlfriend is on the hockey team, and they just won a game on the road, and…” He sighs. “I know it’s not a great excuse, I’m sorry. I’ll buckle down for the next test.”

“Look, I know having a partner in college is very exciting. You’re an adult, you don’t have a curfew, and you don’t a have a parent telling you to keep the door open, but try to keep your priorities straight. You’re a very bright student, and I hate to see your grades suffer in this course, or others.” She takes a sip of her water. “I’ll let you in on a secret, but only because I thought you were going to wet your pants when you saw your grade. I tend to drop the lowest grades at the end of the semester, so you don’t have too much to worry about GPA wise, but try not to let this continue.”

“Okay, I promise I’ll do better on the next one. Thank you so much.” He smiles and leaves the classroom.

She was right, he didn’t want his other grades to suffer. Harry nearly had a 4.0, and he wanted to keep it that way. He needed to buckle back down, but he wasn’t quite sure how to explain this to Y/N. He liked spending his free time with her, but maybe he was being a little too available. It was almost time for their tutoring session, maybe in the seriousness of the library he could have this chat with her.

Y/N was overly excited to see Harry. She had wonderful news for him. She had spoken with her mom, and they both thought it would be a good idea to invite Harry home for Thanksgiving. He had explained that he just stayed on campus last year and that it was really boring. She bounces into the library looking cute as ever in her sweats, and goes over to their usual table. He was already set up and looking serious.

“Hey you.” She says, kissing his cheek. He gives her a soft smile as she sits down. “How’s your day been?”

“Alright.”

“Just alright?” She pouts. “Well, maybe explaining the difference between bonobos and apes to me will add some excitement.” She laughs and takes her books out. “I mean, I sort of get it. One group is super chill and sexual, and the other group is fucking crazy and aggressive. The main difference I noticed is that one group is matriarchal and the other group is patriarchal, so what I wanna know is, why don’t all people study these two groups? I find it to be absolutely fascinating, and-“

“Y/N, please!” Harry snaps. “Why do you even need my help anymore? It seems like you’ve got it.”

“I…well…I mean it’s helpful to talk these things through with you. I need to write a paper about this and I was sort of hoping you could guide me with my outline. Maybe point me to some good sources.” She chews on her bottom lip. “You don’t want to tutor me anymore?” God, he was so fucked for her. How did one girl hold so much power over him?

“It’s not that, I…I mean, we meet up like this twice a week for two hours, four hours total, and then we also meet up to do homework together other nights and that goes on for hours, and sometimes we don’t even end up doing homework, and…ugh, look at this!” He slaps his French test down on the table. She scans it over and gives him a confused look.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“I got a C-, Y/N!”

“Is that bad?” She was genuinely confused.

��Are you serious?”

“Yeah…”

“It’s terrible! Luckily my professor told me she usually drops our lowest grades at the end of the semester, but what if this happens again?”

“Are…are you blaming me for your grade?”

“Well, I was at your place the night before my test when I should have been studying. You invited me over after you guys won your away game, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember you kissing and touching all up on me. You didn’t mention once that you had a test. If you did I would have told you to go home, or I wouldn’t have invited you over at all.” She shakes her head. “I can’t believe you right now. Just because you have poor time management doesn’t mean-“

“I do not have poor time management.” He seethes. “I have impeccable time management.”

“Well, apparently you don’t, otherwise you would have left more time to study for your fucking French test.” She huffs, and takes her highlighter out to help herself as she looks for quotes in her book.

“I can’t believe that you don’t even care that I got a bad grade.”

“That’s the difference between you and I, Harry. When I see a C, I don’t think it’s a bad grade. Had that been a D-, then okay I would probably be more concerned. You said it yourself, she’s going to drop your lowest grade, so it’s no big deal.” She looks at him. “You’re on the clock right now, aren’t you? I need your help with this.”

“Fine.” He leans closer to her and they work on her outline for a bit. They only talk about things related to the class. When ten of four hits, he starts packing up and so does she.

“You’re being a baby.” She mumbles.

“No I’m not. I have to keep up a specific GPA for the grant that I was given.”

“Yeah, same here, Harry. News flash, half of the students here have to keep up a specific GPA, you’re not special in that.” She slings her bag over her shoulder. “You can blame me all you want for your grade, but that’s on you. Learn some self-control because I will not be made into being a fucking distraction to some boy.”

Before he can say he’s more than just some boy to her and that he’s her boyfriend, she’s gone. Harry slumps forward and knuckles at his eyes. She made a fair point, he shouldn’t blame her for distracting him. He needed to create a boundary. This is probably why he was fine just having a couple of casual hookups last year as opposed to having a girlfriend. It’s much easier to just text someone if they’re up on the weekends, and then focus on school work during the week. With Y/N he just wanted to be in her company whenever he could, and with that came his urge to really be in her company. Maybe he did need some self-control. She had no problem telling him when she wasn’t in the mood or couldn’t come over, he needed to do the same.

Harry: hey, can I call you later?

Gemma: of course! I’m getting ready for bed soon though…

Harry: oh right, time zones, I’ll call you now

“What’s up, H?”

“How do you handle being in a relationship and getting good grades at the same time?” He asks as he heads out of the library, not wanting to disturb anyone.

“Jesus, you’ve been seeing this girl for all of two months. What happened, did you fail a test?”

“No! I got a C- on a French test.”

“You’re freaking out over a class that isn’t even one of your major courses?”

“What if it’s a slippery slope? You had a boyfriend in uni, how’d you manage your time?”

“I just told him when I was busy, and then we found other times to hang out. Usually we’d try to meet up for lunch or dinner if we could.”

“We usually sit with our other friends at lunch…and she doesn’t go to the dining hall for dinner because she cooks with her roommates after her workouts. We’re both really busy in our own rights, so it’s like the second we’re both free…”

“Do you have sleepovers?”

“Gemma.” Harry blushes as he gets into his apartment.

“Harry, I’m not asking you what you’re doing, I’m just asking if you spend the night.”

“Yeah, mostly on the weekends though…”

“And what night does the weekend start?”

“Sometimes on Thursdays…but she usually has early practice on Friday mornings, so-“

“I think you two should define which nights are for sleepovers. So, if you hang out on a Wednesday or something it’s clear no one’s staying over.”

“But I’d feel so guilty leaving after we…you know.”

“Just communicate about that too.”

“I don’t want her thinking I’m only going over there for that though.”

“Harry, I’m going to say this slowly. Communicate.”

“She’s probably so mad at me.” He groans as he gets into his room.

“Why?”

“I sort of blamed my grade on her…”

“Harry!”

“I know! I’m an idiot, okay?”

“Well, you better fix it. If you think a relationship in uni is distracting, a break up is ten times worse.”

//

Y/N was sprinting on the treadmill, she was beyond pissed. She wanted to bash Harry’s head against the table in the library. She hops off the treadmill once her run is done, and she goes into the weight room with the other girls to work with the weight trainer. She was being more quiet than usual as she lifted.

“Take a ten minute break girls, then we’ll work on the deadlifts.” The trainer says.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Ashley asks.

“No.” She looks away.

“What’s wrong?”

“Harry and I got into a fight.” She mumbles.

“Aw, about what? Want me to beat him up?”

“No.” Y/N laughs. “Thanks though. He got what he thinks is a bad grade on some test and he blamed me.”

“What the fuck?” Amanda says, overhearing the conversation. “Why would he do that?”

“Apparently he was at our place the night before his test so he didn’t study the way he should have, but that’s not my fault. He could have left or not come over at all.”

“Y/N.” Ashley sighs. “You’re both right and you’re both wrong. Try to think of it from his perspective, or, like what if the shoe was on the other foot? Like say you spent the night and overslept and missed practice. You’d probably blame him when it’s on you to make sure your alarm is set, right?”

“I guess so.”

“Cut him some slack. What was the grade?”

“Only a C-.”

“Well, if that’s a big deal to him you have to respect that.”

“Alright, ladies! Let’s get back to it.” The trainer says.

Ashley winks at Y/N, and she smiles. She was right, and talking it through calmed her down a little. She used whatever anger she still had to fuel the rest of her workout. Her, Gina, and Amanda all go home, take their turns showering and eat dinner. It was around seven when Y/N sat down to finish up some homework. Harry hadn’t texted, but she hadn’t texted him either. She wasn’t sure if she should give him some space to cool off or not. She never had to deal with something like this before.

“I’m gonna go up and try to FaceTime him, I’ll be back in a minute.” She tells the girls as she leaves the living room. The phone rings for a while, and then he finally answers. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Sorry if I’m bothering you, I just thought we should talk.”

“Please don’t break up with me.”

Harry had, like, really bad anxiety, and this entire situation flared it up. It probably didn’t help that he was always drinking coffee. He talked with Y/N briefly about it, in case he ever had an anxiety attack in front of her, he didn’t want her to be scared.

“What?! Harry, first of all, I would never do that over a fucking FaceTime, second of all, how could you think I would break up with you at all?”

“I don’t know, my sister got into my head and…sorry…I’m really sorry for snapping at you earlier, that wasn’t fair.”

“I’m sorry for not understanding how much your grade bothered you.” She chews on her bottom lip. “I should have been more sympathetic.”

“And I shouldn’t have blamed you…it was my own fault for not making more time to study. I’m trying to balance you with everything else, and it’s hard sometimes.”

“I know, but if you need to study I don’t want you to feel bad for not being able to come over or something.”

“Well, I could come over…but I can’t always spend the night.”

“Okay.”

“It’s just that…it would make me feel guilty if I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because if it’s a night we decide to hook up and I don’t stay I feel like you’d be upset. I wouldn’t want you to feel like I was only coming over for that either.”

“Harry, it’s okay. You don’t always have to spend the night afterwards. You have your own life. We can keep sleepovers for the weekends if you want.”

“Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. Things are just going to get crazier as finals creep up. I mean, it’s already almost Thanksgiving for fuck’s sake.”

“About that.” She smiles. “Before you got pissy at the library earlier, I was actually pretty excited to see you.”

“You were?” His face softens.

“Mhm, I talked with my mom, and well…I was wondering if you’d wanna come home with me for Thanksgiving…”

“Really?” He perks up.

“Yeah! I want you to meet the rest of my family, and you said how boring staying on campus was last year.”

“Y/N, I’d love to come home with you.” He beams. “Thank you.”

“Yay! I’m glad you want to.” She beams back. “I love you, Harry.”

“I love you, too.”

“I need to get back to my homework, and I’m sure you do too. Will you be at the game tomorrow?”

“Of course I will be.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

They both hang up and feel the same wave of relief. Harry gets back to studying, but not before texting his sister to let her know he’s been invited home with Y/N for Thanksgiving. He was too giddy to not tell someone.

//

Harry goes to Y/N’s game Wednesday, clad in the jersey she had given him. Sometimes he was given looks, he knew they weren’t the most typical couple, but he didn’t really care what other people thought. He sits with Andrew, Billy, Air, and her new boyfriend Scott. Niall and Louis also join, handing Harry his requested hotdog.

“Thanks, mate.” He says to Louis as he sits next to him.

“No problem. Think this is first women’s game I’ve ever been to, sort of feel guilty.”

“Me too.” Niall says. “Glad we didn’t have a game tonight. Bout time we came to see your girl play.”

Harry chuckles and shakes his head. He bites into his hotdog just as the lights dim and both teams skate out onto the ice. The crowd cheers, and his face lights up when he sees Y/N. Number 21 in all her glory. She assists two goals in the first period, giving the girls a decent lead for the second period. During the second period she gets her shit rocked by one of the bigger girls on the other team, and the wind gets knocked out of her. Harry was frightened when she didn’t immediately get up. A trainer and the coach go out onto the ice to help her up. The other girl gets benched for the rest of the game for unnecessary roughness, and the arena claps for Y/N as she’s helped off the ice.

“Oh my god, I have to, I have to go see if she’s okay!” Harry says frantically.

“Harry!” Andrew grabs him. “They’re not going to let you into the women’s locker room.”

“I know, but maybe I can go wait for her where the trainer’s office is, that’s probably where they brought her, right?”

“He’s right, mate.” Louis says. “You’ll have to wait until they bring her back out.” He puts his hand on Harry’s shoulder to get him to sit back down. “I know it sucks right now, but she’s in good hands, she’ll be alright.”

After what felt like a lifetime, Harry squints and sees Y/N sitting on the bench. Her helmet and all of her other gear was off. All she had on were her warm ups.

“Fuck, I hope she doesn’t have a concussion.”

“They wouldn’t have let her sit out there if she did.” Niall says. “No fucking way, the ice would be blinding her.”

“Bruised rib?” Harry looks at Louis and Niall.

“Har, you’ll find out soon enough.” Louis gives him a reassuring smile. “Try to calm down. She looks fine.”

Harry sighs, his leg won’t stop bouncing as he sits in the stands. The rest of the game goes by agonizingly slow. Luckily the girls won 2-0, so at least everyone would be in decent enough mood. Harry says goodbye to everyone as he nearly sprints out of the arena to wait for Y/N where he usually did down below at the ice near the skate rentals. When he sees her come through the doors with Amanda and Gina, he races over to her, throwing his arms around her top half.

“Harry! Babe, you’re crushing me!” She laughs and pats his back. His hands move to cup her jaw and he kisses her over and over.

“I was so scared! What happened? Are you alright?” His eyes scan over her body.

“I’m fine!” She giggles and takes his hands away from her face. “I got the wind knocked out of me, and they had me sit out for the rest of the game because they put some ice on my ribs.” She unzips her sweatshirt to show him. “I’m fine though, that girl just rammed into me.”

“For no fucking reason.” Gina scoffs. “She’s lucky we didn’t all attack her.”

“Whatever, at least we won.” Y/N shrugs. “Sorry I couldn’t text you or anything, phones aren’t allowed on the bench.” She says to Harry.

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re alright.”

“We’re all gonna go downtown for dinner to celebrate. Do you have homework or anything?”

He did have homework. He had a powerpoint he needed to work on. But he so desperately just wanted to be with her.

“Um, I have a presentation I need finish up, so…I guess I should go do that, but text me when you’re back on campus. If I’m done with everything I could come over after.”

“Okay.” She smiles and kisses him again. “Sorry you were so worried.”

“I’m just glad you don’t have a concussion or something.”

“Nope, nothing that serious.”

“Come on, we better get down there before they eat all the food.” Amanda says.

Y/N waves off to Harry and leaves with the girls. It was too bad because he liked getting dinner with the hockey girls, but he needed to stick to what he and Y/N spoke about last night. It’ll be a reward or a treat for him to see her once he’s done with his work. That was all the motivation he needed to finish up his presentation, and get some other homework done.

Harry: hey baby, I just finished everything up…do you still wanna get together? Are you doing hw?

Y/N: maybe tomorrow night, I’m really tired and we have practice in the morning. But I’ll see you at 2, right?

Harry: yeah of course. Love you, goodnight!

Y/N: love you too, night!

Harry sort of felt sad that he wasn’t seeing Y/N tonight, but he couldn’t blame her for being tired. He just wanted to hold her and make her feel better, but he thought of how small her bed was and realized how she’d probably be more comfortable sleeping in it alone. He couldn’t blame her for that either. Just as he’s settling into bed, his phone goes off and he smiles.

“Y/N?”

“Hi.”

“What’s up, babe?”

“Nothing…kinda just wanted to hear your voice…”

“God, you’re gonna make me melt into a puddle over here.” He chuckles. “Are you feeling better?”

“A little yeah. They want me to sleep sort of propped up so I can breathe easier, it’s not very comfy.”

“I’m sorry, baby. Wish I could make you feel better.”

“You are.” She smiles, not that he could see. “So you were working on a presentation? For what class?”

“My anthropology class.”

“Tell me about it.”

“It’s kind of boring…”

“I don’t care, it’ll be like you’re telling me a bed time story. Please?”

“Alright.” His heart was fluttering.

Y/N fell asleep with her headphones in listening to Harry discuss his presentation. Believe it or not, talking through it helped Harry give an even better presentation than he could have hoped for. Maybe this new system will work for them.

//

Harry was dressed up from his presentation when Y/N met him in the library for their tutoring session. He looked incredibly handsome in his green dress pants, white button up, and floral patterned tie to match.

“Hey.” He smiles and kisses her cheek. “Let’s finish up that outline.”

“Hey, yeah.” She sits down and takes her materials out to show him. She looks him up and down. “How’d your presentation go?”

“Oh, really well actually. Talking it over with you last night actually made me feel more prepared.”

“That’s great! Sorry I fell asleep on you.” She chews on her bottom lip. “Maybe next time I could come over and you could really practice it for me.”

“You did ask for a bedtime story.” He smirks. “It’s fine. How are you feeling?”

“Much better. I took it easy during practice this morning just in case, and the trainers are going to work with me during lifting this afternoon, but I should be fine to play Saturday.”

“That’s good, and that game’s away right?”

“Yeah and we have to leave Friday night because it’s, like, hours away or something.”

Harry nods and looks over Y/N’s outline. He marks up a few spots and lets her get to work on her paper while he works on a paper of his own. He listens as she grumbles to himself and he can’t help but laugh.

“Stop, it’s not funny. I’m not a very good writer.”

“What are you struggling with?”

“I just don’t how to articulate myself professionally sometimes.”

“So write it as if you didn’t need to be professional, and then go back and edit it. Get all of your ideas out, you know?”

“Oh, good idea! Thanks, Har.” She smiles.

“It’s what I’m here for.”

She gives him a quick peck on the cheek and he sighs happily.

“Do you want to…um, come over after your workout. We could have dinner…”

“Yeah, I’d like that. Can I bring all my shit over so I can just spend the night and get up to go to practice? You live closer to the ice arena, it would be perfect.”

“Sure! That sounds great.”

While Y/N is at her workout, Harry whips up some pasta and meat sauce that he knows she’ll like. He makes enough for Louis and Niall as well. They were usually ravenous after practice just the same. Niall and Louis come bursting through the door around when Harry is pulling some garlic bread out of the oven.

“Alright! Mum cooked!” Louis teases him.

“Oi! Go fucking wash up before you start grabbing at the food, fucking animals.” Harry scolds them. “And we’re waiting to eat until Y/N gets here, you’re lucky I even made extra for the two of you.”

“Ugh, fine.” Niall says and the two go down the hall to wash up.

There’s a knock on the door and Harry practically races over to open it. He smiles at Y/N with all her bags, and he lets her in.

“I can bring those up if you want. Go ahead into the kitchen, dinner’s all set.”

“Thanks, babe.” She pecks his lips and hands her things over to him. “Hi guys.” She says to the boys as she sits down.

“How are you feeling, Y/N?” Niall asks.

“Oh, I’m fine. Took it easy today, but I’m alright.”

“I couldn’t believe how hard that girl hit you, it was wild.” Louis says.

“Okay! Everyone can make up their own plates, have at it. Made your favorite, Y/N.”

“Thank you.” She blushes and makes up a plate.

It was like they were having a family dinner, it was sort of fun. Y/N had gotten to know Niall and Louis alright over the last couple of weeks. The boys help clean up with Y/N while Harry puts the leftovers away. The two go up to his room, and she flops onto his bed. Harry gets on and crawls up her body to straddle her. She starts giggling and shakes her head.

“What?”

“I just ate so much food, I need a minute.”

“Can you even do anything? How are your ribs?”

“They’re fine, but we probably shouldn’t be too aggressive.”

“You don’t have to do a thing if you don’t want to.”

“Harry.” She scoffs.

“We haven’t really been able to makeup since our little argument the other day, I wanna make you feel good.”

“What exactly are you proposing?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Well, you know me, I have a bit of sweet tooth.” He grins at her and she bites her bottom lip.

He situates himself between her legs and pulls her sweatpants down. She raises her hips up to help him, and he looks up at her just to make sure what they’re doing is okay. She nods yes, and he hooks his fingers into her underwear as well. He places soft kisses on her inner thigh, working his way to her center.

“H,Harry?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Would you do that thing where you, um, stick your tongue inside?” She was embarrassed and blushing, but she really liked it when he would do that.

“Want me to fuck you with my tongue?”

“Yeah.”

“Can do.” He smiles and dips his head back down.

He licks the flat of his tongue up her center and nibbles on her clit for a moment before licking into her. She bucks her hips up from the sensation, and he uses an arm to hold her down. He uses his other hand to rub her clit while he fucks her with his tongue.

“Fuck, oh my god.” She breathes and tangles his hair between her fingers.

He moves his face from side to side so she could catch some of the scruff on his chin, although, he only just started to grow some of his facial hair out. Harry shaved just about every day until Y/N told him once that she sort of liked the way it felt on her. Harry’s facial hair came in sort of patchy, so that’s why he would normally just shave it, but he was willing to grow it out a bit for her.

He rubs on her clit a little faster, and it has her panting and breathing rapidly. Her chest was heaving, and he could tell she was getting closer. She’s a whimpering mess when she comes to her release, and he continues to lap away at her.

“Holy shit.” She breathes as he sits up.

“Good?”

“So good, come here.”

He smiles and hovers over to kiss her. She was so fucked out she didn’t even care that she could taste herself on his tongue. He grinds himself against her and she winces.

“Too many clothes, get naked.” She whines.

Harry chuckles but does as she says. She takes her t-shirt off and sits up. She has him sit up against the wall so she can crawl into his lap.

“I think this’ll hurt less if I’m on top.”

“Whatever makes you more comfortable, baby.” He reaches over to his desk to grab a condom, but she swats it away.

“We’re only sleeping with each other, do we really need one?”

“I just like having it as a backup, as much as I love feeling you. Is that alright?”

“Yeah…”

She waits for him to roll it on and she slowly sinks down on top of him. He grips her hips and helps her move up and down on his dick. He bites down on her shoulder to muffle his moan when he feels how deep inside her he is. Her hands are tangled up in his hair again as she rocks back and forth on him. He licks a stripe up her neck and just under her earlobe to suck a mark on her. He snakes a hand between them to rub circles on her clit and she gasps.

“Fuck, how do you always know how to do that?” She groans. “Feels so fucking good.”

“I just know what you need, baby girl.” He nips at her bottom lip as he continues to rub her right where she needs it as she bounces up and down on his dick.

Her tongue glides against his, and she can feel sweat starting to pool between their bellies by how close they are. She feels the knot in her stomach starting to form again, and she hides her face in his neck. He keeps his other arm around her, hand gripping her ass.

“Y/N.” He groans, not being able to hold on much longer.

She cries out into his neck, and when her body starts to calm down a bit he comes. She clings to him for a moment before he lifts her off of him. She throws a t-shirt on and goes to the bathroom quickly while he slips into a pair of boxers. She double checks her two alarms, and he sets one on his clock-radio for her as well. He crawls into bed with her and spoons her. He kisses the back of her neck and sticks a leg between hers.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” He says.

“Um, sure?” She chuckles.

“When do you typically get your period?”

“What?!” She turns over and sits up. “Why, why would you ask me that?”

“Well, we’ve been together a couple of months now and you haven’t even mentioned it.”

“I…it’s not something I really wanna share with you, Harry. I don’t know, I probably got it before we started dating, and then I probably got it again before we started having sex, I…I’d have to check my pills to see when I get it next…couple of weeks, maybe?”

“I just don’t want you to think it’s something you need to keep a secret from me, like, if you wanna leave a box of tampons or whatever in the bathroom you can.”

“Harry.” She hides her face in her hands. “Please, this is too embarrassing.”

“Why?” He peels her hands away so she’ll look at him. “I just want you to feel comfortable…”

“It’s gross, that’s why. I wish I didn’t get it all, it’s a nuisance.” She sighs. “But thank you, I may bring some supplies here since you’re saying it’s alright.”

He kisses her cheek and brings her back down to him so they can spoon again. He snuggles her close and nestles into her hair. Y/N was frazzled. She had never met a guy like Harry, and she was honestly surprised he didn’t already have a girlfriend. She didn’t know a college guy could be so cool and chill about those types of things. She grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers, resting it against her lower stomach. He lets out a small sigh before falling asleep.

//

Y/N jumps out of Harry’s bed when she hears his clock-radio go off. He knuckles at his eyes and sits up as she shuffles around to grab her things. She goes down the hall to do her thing, and sees the bathroom door his closed. One of the boys must be in there. Louis opens the door, shirtless and only in his boxers.

“Morning.” He yawns and gestures for her to use the bathroom.

“Morning.” She blushes and goes in, and locks the door. She washes her face and brushes her teeth and quickly goes back into Harry’s room. She smiles when she sees him typing away at his laptop. “What are you doing?”

“Just answering some emails. I’m getting more tutoring requests with finals approaching.”

“I didn’t think you took a lot of classes that people would need help in.” She says as she braids her hair back.

“Well, I’m a study skills tutor too, so sometimes I meet with other students who just need tips on how to properly study.”

“Like flashcards and stuff like that?”

“There’s some of that, yeah. I explain how to code while reading, how to look at previous quizzes, sometimes they need help just emailing a professor too. I had to go through a training for it last year with the tutoring office. It’s good money so I don’t mind.”

She gets her jacket on and looks at him. She goes over and cups his jaw, giving him some kisses to his lips that were still slightly swollen from the night before.

“When do you leave tonight?”

“Around five, I think. Wanna meet up for lunch at the dining hall?”

“I’d love to.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”

“Alright, have a good practice.”

She grabs her things and heads out. She sees Niall and Louis getting their sneakers on.

“Do you guys have early lifts in the mornings?”

“Yeah, and then we have field times in the afternoons. So opposite of you.” Niall says. “Do you want a ride to the ice arena since we’re headed that way?”

“Do you mind? That would be great.”

“Don’t mind at all, pet.” Louis smiles and grabs one of her bags for her. “Your Harry’s girl now, so you’re our girl too.”

She giggles and follows them out to their car. She thanks them for dropping her off and she heads inside. It was a good practice, she was feeling much better. As she was changing after practice she could hear a few people snickering.

“What?” She looks at her friends.

“You and Harry really had some fun last night, huh?” Amanda says.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your neck and shoulder.” Amanda takes her mirror out of her gym locker to show her. Y/N gasps.

“Oh my god…”

“I mean, I like a hickey just as much as the next person, but shit.” Gina says.

“He…does it when he’s trying to be quiet. His roommates were home and sometimes he moans, like, really loud.” She smirks. “It’s cute.”

“Ooo, Y/N’s giving Harry that good good.” Amanda teases with a squeal.

“Shut up.” She nudges her. “I like that he moans, you always hear of guys never making any noise, what’s the fun in that?”

“The complexities of liking dick.” Gina laughs.

“You know what makes you guys lucky?” Y/N says as she pulls her sweatshirt on. “You don’t have to worry about condoms.”

“Aren’t you on the pill?” Amanda asks as they all leave the building to walk up to campus.

“Yeah, but Harry likes using condoms as a backup, which makes sense. Sometimes I just wish he wasn’t so responsible. It hurts a little whenever he pulls out when he wears one, and it kind of hurts for a couple of days after.” Both Amanda and Gina stop short. “What?”

“Do you think you’re allergic to latex?” Gina asks. “Or the spermicide?”

“Oh shit, I didn’t even think of that.” Y/N groans. “What am I supposed to use, sheepskin?” She makes a gagging noise.

“No, I’m pretty sure there are latex free condoms that aren’t sheepskin. We’re going to WalMart after lunch to get snacks for the bus, we can look while we’re there.” Amanda says.

“Good idea, thanks. Harry’s gonna join at lunch, so don’t mention any of this, okay? He worries about every little thing, and I don’t want him to get anxious.”

The girls agree, and they head to their apartment to drop their things off before class. Friday classes should be illegal, but Y/N only had Mind, Brain, and Evolution on Fridays, so it wasn’t terrible. When she finally gets to the dining hall she sees Harry waiting outside for her. God, he looked so fucking good. He had a light blue sweater on with some khakis, and his beanie. She loves the way the ends of curls would peak out of the hat. She throws her arms around him and kisses his cheek.

“You didn’t have to wait out here.”

“I know, but I wanted to.” He smiles and kisses her lips before going inside.

They both grab their food and sit down together at the girl’s hockey table. Everyone greets Harry, and he joins in on the conversations circling around him.

“Do you have anywhere to be after this?” He says to her.

“We’re going to WalMart to get snacks, and then I need to get my overnight bag together. You can come over to help me pack if you want.”

“Sounds good.”

“Are you gonna go out tonight, or anything?”

“Yeah, Louis and Niall have a home game tonight, so I’m gonna go to support them, and then there’s most likely going to be a party at the soccer house, so I’ll probably go to that for a bit.”

“Okay.”

“Is that alright?”

“Yeah, I don’t care.” She shrugs.

They kiss goodbye before she hops in Ashley’s car to go to WalMart. She grabs the snacks she wants, and then Amanda and Gina yank her down to the aisle with the condoms. They read the boxes and find a brand that still prevents against STDs, but didn’t have latex.

“Try these and then see how you feel.” Gina says. “I wish we could be more help…” She laughs.

“This is help enough, thanks. I should probably go to my doctor and just have an allergy test done.”

“You two had sex last night, right? How does your vagine feel?” Amanda asks.

“Sore, honestly.” She sighs. “I thought it was just like this because we do it a lot and it’s still so new for my body, but he’s mostly gentle when we’re doing it, I suppose being allergic to latex would make the most sense.” She throws the box in the cart with everything else. “Hey, can I ask you guys something?”

“Of course!” Amanda says.

“Anything!” Gina says.

“When you’re hooking up consistently with a girl, do you ever ask her when her period is?”

“I synced up with a girl once.” Gina says.

“Sometimes it gets brought up, like, a girl has told me when she’s on hers so we don’t venture down south, why?” Amanda asks.

“Harry asked me last night when my next one would be. I just found it to be peculiar that the topic didn’t gross him out.”

“God, every time you tell us something about him, it astounds me how much of a man he really is. I would very much like to shake his mother’s hand.” Gina says. “He’s met Ang, have you met his mom yet?”

“Well, considering that she lives in fucking London, no, I haven’t.” Y/N rolls her eyes.

“You could FaceTime.” Amanda suggests.

“We could, but I’m way too nervous. Meeting a guy’s mom is so much different that meeting the girl’s mom. I mean, it’s just her and his sister, that’s her baby boy, I wanna make sure I make a good impression.”

“He’s also your baby boy, and that’s all I’m saying on that.” Amanda says.

“Yeah, baby girl.” Gina teases.

“I’m not going to tell you guys anything he says to me anymore if you’re going to make fun of us.” Y/N pouts.

“Please! No, don’t take the stories away, they’re too good.” Gina says.

The girls pay for their things and meet up with the people they drove with, and head inside their apartment. Harry comes over to watch Y/N pack her things.

“I don’t think you got enough snacks, think you could use some more.” He says sarcastically.

“We get hungry on these longer rides.”

“You’re only going for one night.” He rummages through her WalMart bags to see what she got.

“Harry, wait-“

His eyes grow wide when he sees the box of condoms. He takes them out and holds them up.

“Why do you need these if you’re going away?”

“I hadn’t put all of my shit away yet.” She snatches the box from him and tosses it in her closet.

“You didn’t need to buy those, babe, I can take care of that.”

“Well, it’s just…you know, it should be both of our responsibility.”

“But,” He grabs the box from her closet, “this isn’t the brand I usually buy. These aren’t even ribbed.” He says as he reads the box.

“No, but…they don’t have latex in them…” She blushes and takes the box back from him. “I think I may be allergic or something.”

“How’d you come to that conclusion?”

“Because I noticed that afterwards…I’m sore for a couple of days, and-“

“Y/N.” He sighs and sits on the edge of her bed, pulling her onto his lap. “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

“I don’t know.” She looks down as she wraps her arms around his neck. “I thought I was just getting used to you still.”

“But if you were in pain afterwards I’d want you to tell me. Am I too rough?”

“No! That’s just it, you’re not. So…I mean, I was talking to the girls about it and they asked me if I was allergic to latex, so we got those while we were out and I figured we could give them a try when I get back. It’ll be like an experiment.”

“Is that why you don’t always want to use one?”

“Yeah, I’m never sore after we don’t use one.”

“Alright, then we’ll try those. I’m sorry, baby. If I had known we could have bought those sooner.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s on me.”

“I just want you to talk to me about these things, that’s all.”

“It’s embarrassing, Harry.” She groans. “I don’t wanna talk about my vagina with you.” She pouts.

“God, you’re cute.” He pecks her lips. “No, you just like when I lick on you, is that it?”

“Ugh, I don’t have time for this.”

“You don’t have to be at your bus until five, it’s 3:45, think you have plenty of time…if you want, that is.”

“M’sore.” She says shyly. “But…if you did wanna lick on me…I would do the same to you.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea.” He grins.

She stands up and makes sure her door is locked before getting her pants off. He takes care of her first, getting her back to arch off the bed from the sheer force of her orgasm. She practically growls at him when she undoes his pants. She gets between his legs and gets her lips wrapped around his tip in seconds. Her ass was in the air, and he couldn’t help but reach forward and finger her from behind.

“Oh!” She gasps and looks at him. “That’s different.”

“Does it feel okay?”

“Yeah…I just…it’s your turn is all.”

“Babe, we’re just having some fun, it doesn’t matter. I’ll make you come as many times as I can, I don’t give a fuck if I only get one.”

“Oh my god.” She breathes and puts her mouth back on him.

She moans around him as his fingers pump in and out of her, and it makes him buck up into her. She gags for a second but keeps going.

“Y/N.” He grunts. “This would be a little easier if we just-“

“No.” She mumbles with him still in her mouth.

“But if we just-“

“I don’t want my entire ass in your face!” She uses her hand to pump him quickly, and he removes his fingers from her to grip at her sheets. She rubs her thumb over his tip how he likes, and his eyes roll into the back of his head.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna come.” He groans, and she puts her mouth back on his tip to gets everything in her mouth.

She pops off of him and swallows. She was getting more used to that, and the taste didn’t bother her as much. Once his breathing goes back to normal he tackles her down where he was laying and she giggles.

“What are you doing?”

“Gonna finish what I started, love, otherwise you’ll be restless on that bus.” He slips his fingers back inside her and she moans out. “Course, I could be mean and just get you really worked up so you’d have to think of me while you’re in that hotel room of yours.”

“Mm, yeah, you know they make us share beds, four to a room, so that wouldn’t really, fuck, work for me.”

“Really? They don’t make the boys share beds.”

“God forbid.” She grunts as he goes in knuckle deep and curls his fingers up.

“Feel alright? I know you said you were sore earlier.”

“No, it feels fine, really good, actually.” She pants. “Fuck, Harry, oh my god!”

He loved watching her face when she’d come to her release. She always bit her bottom lip really hard and squeezed her eyes shut, and then her mouth would fall open as she’d come down. He retracts his fingers and wipes them off on his thigh before grabbing his boxers and pants to put back on.

“I just need to, um, pee. I’ll be right back.” She almost felt lightheaded as she stood up. She puts her sweatpants back on and goes down the hall to clean herself up. Amanda peeps her head out of her room, as does Gina.

“What the fuck were you two doing in there?” Gina chuckles.

“Um, he just made me come so hard that everything went white, so…”

“Damn, boy’s got a good dick.” Amanda says.

“He does, but he didn’t use it. Just his fingers.”

“Oh shit.” Gina says, impressed. “Maybe he was a lesbian in another life.”

They all burst out laughing, and Y/N goes back to her room. She kisses Harry a few times and then finishes getting her bags together.

“I’ll text you later when we’re at the hotel. Have fun at the soccer game.”

“I will, safe travels. When do you think you’ll be back tomorrow?”

“No idea, but I’ll let you know once we hit the road.”

“Sounds good, love you.” He pecks her lips.

“Love you too.” She smiles and waves him off as he leaves.

//

The boys and girls soccer teams won, so there was a rager at the boy’s soccer house. Harry pregames with Niall and Louis before going over. He had a long-sleeve black button up on with the first few buttons undone, and a ripped pair of black jeans. He cracks open a beer and sips on it as he talks to some of the guys at the house.

Harry gets a good buzz going, opting to play a few rounds of beer pong, and flip cup with some people he knew in the kitchen.

Y/N: just got to the hotel, hope you’re having a good night!

Harry: wish you were here, missing my dance partner ;p sweet dreams baby

“Harry, you’re turn!” Niall shouts and Harry flips his cup effortlessly. He finishes off his drink and grabs another one.

“Well, look who it is.” A girl named Maggie comes up to Harry to make a drink of her own. Harry hooked up with Maggie last semester.

“Maggie, um, hi.” He blushes. “How are you.”

“Good! Haven’t seen you since school started.”

“Yeah, I got busy…with the, uh, tutoring.”

“Right.” She nods and takes a sip of her drink. “You look good, Har.”

“Thanks.” He takes a sip of his own drink.

“So, are you here alone?”

“I came with Niall and Louis.” He points over to the guys as they’re still playing flip cup.

“No, I mean…” She puts her hand on his shoulder and steps closer to him. “Like, you’re not here with anyone?”

“Well…my girlfriend is away tonight, she’s on the hockey team.” He swallows, unsure of what in the fuck was happening. “They have an away game tomorrow, so they had to leave tonight to get there on time.”

“Poor thing.” She pouts at him. “Are you feeling a little lonely? I know how you can be.” She had backed him into a corner and pressed herself up against him. His hands were not on her at all and he just didn’t know what to do.

“Maggie, could you, uh, you’re a little too close.”

“Am I?” She bats her eyelashes up at him. “I don’t think we’re close enough, if you ask me.”

Harry looks over at Niall and Louis, hoping to catch their attention. He didn’t want to be rude, but he needed this girl to step off. He looks down at her and frowns.

“Did you not hear me? I said I have a girlfriend.”

“I heard you say she was gone for the night. Come on, Harry, have a little fun. You’re not married.”

“This isn’t fun for me.” He pushes her away and goes over to Niall and Louis. He tells them what happened and that he’s going to leave.

“Mate, don’t go.” Louis frowns. “Night’s just getting started.”

“I’m not having fun anymore. I used to hook up with Maggie, and we hooked up right when school started. Y/N’s not here, and I don’t feel right.”

“So…what, you’re not gonna come out unless she’s with you?” Niall asks.

“What’s the main goal of coming to a party? Finding someone to hook up with. I don’t need to be here if she’s not here. It’s too dangerous. I’m gonna go home, I’ll see you guys later.”

“Wait.” Louis sighs. “We’ll come with you.”

“No, you guys had a major win tonight, you should stay and celebrate. I’m just gonna go to bed.”

“You’re drunk, H, we should go with you.” Niall says.

“M’not drunk. I can make it back. Please stay, it’s fine.”

Harry makes his way out of the house and bumps into Maggie again.

“For fuck’s sake.” He says to himself as she looks at him with a devious smile.

“Where you going, Harry?”

“Home.”

“Need some company?”

“Not from you.” He shakes his head and she pouts at him.

“Damn, who knew some hockey bitch could have you so whipped.”

He wanted to strangle her, and Harry was not a violent person in the slightest. He just couldn’t believe one female athlete would say that about another.

“You may be alright with trying to fuck up someone’s relationship, but I’m not. Get some fucking help.” He brushes by her and gets out of the house quickly. The cold air hits him a little too hard, and his stomach turns. He shakes it off and makes his way home. He couldn’t believe that even after he said he had a girlfriend that Maggie would still try to pull a move on him.

Harry gets inside and feels so disgusted that he decides to take a shower. Maybe taking a shower while buzzed wasn’t a great idea, but it certainly calmed him down. He was never going to a party without Y/N again. The thing he wasn’t sure about was if he should tell her about the altercation. Maybe if he had been sober he would have waited until the morning to text her, but there he was, towel hanging low on his hips, water dripping from his hair, as he typed out his message.

Harry: baby, I’m home now, I had to leave that party. I know you’re sleeping, but this girl tried to hook up with me, even after I told her I had a girlfriend! Can you believe that?! I got away from her, but she got really close to me. Nothing happened, but I just wanted you to know…for whatever reason. I love you so much, I hope you know I would never do anything to put our relationship at risk. I’m sorry for texting you like this while you’re sleeping, I just needed you to know.

His anxiety had fully taken over at this point. After he hit send he immediately regretted it. He knew he should have waited.

“Fucking moron.” He chews on his nails. Now he had to wait until morning for her to answer. He flops onto his bed and puts his headphones in so he could fall asleep to a podcast.

//

Y/N rubs her eyes as she wakes up the next morning, and they widen when she sees the massive text from Harry.

“What the fuck?” She says, sitting up.

“What is it?” Amanda groans next to her, sitting up as well.

“Some girl tried to fuck Harry last night!”

“What?!” This wakes Gina up in the other bed. They were also rooming with this other girl Becca who they were pretty good friends with.

“He said nothing happened, and he left right away, but she got really close to him even after he said he had a girlfriend.” She sighs. “Fuck, do you guys mind if I call him quick? His anxiety must be through the roof. He sent this at like one in the morning.”

“Go ahead, Y/N.” Amanda rubs her back as she dials his number.

“Y/N?” Harry says groggily through the phone.

“Hey, I just saw your text, are you alright?”

“M’fine.” He mumbles.

“Did you know this girl prior?”

“Yeah…”

“How?”

“She…well…ugh, don’t be made, but I used to hook up with her. Mostly last semester, and then a couple times when school started. It was before we met, Y/N.”

“So…she came up to you thinking you were single, you told her you weren’t, and she still tried to take you home?”

“Yeah, but I got away from her.”

“Where were Niall and Louis?”

“Playing flip cup, they offered to leave with me, but I told them they didn’t need to.”

“What’s this girl’s name?”

“What does it matter?”

“I just wanna know.”

“Maggie…she’s a junior.”

“Wonderful.”

“Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not…and nothing happened?”

“No! I got outta there and went right home. I’m so sorry, I’m never going out without you again.”

“Don’t say that, you can go out. I want you to have fun, Harry.”

“I didn’t have much fun last night.” He mumbles.

“I’m sorry, Harry. Hopefully that girl has learned her lesson.”

“I know you’re probably gonna be tired when you get back to campus later, but…would you come over?”

“Of course! The second I get to campus I’ll be at your place, alright?”

“Okay…thanks babe.”

“Yeah.” She looks at the girls and she feels terrible. “Did you sleep last night?”

“I listened to a podcast and it helped me drift off, yeah.”

“Okay.” She sighs. “We have to get ready and eat breakfast and stuff…”

“Alright, I’ll be watching the live stream later, so know I’ll be rooting for you.”

“Thanks.” She smiles. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Y/N goes onto Harry’s Instagram to see who follows him, looking for anyone named Maggie. She finds one, and her page wasn’t private, so she was able to look at her photos.

“This girl used to hook up with Harry, and she tried to last night. She’s…like…really pretty.” Y/N frowns, and show’s Amanda. “He said he left right away, but…how could he go from her to me.”

“Y/N!” Gina says. “You’re one of the fucking hottest girls on campus, don’t talk about yourself like that. Besides, he got out of there because he wants you, not her, and because he’s not a fucking dick. Don’t let this bother you.”

//

The game went really well. The girls won 4-2, and had a nice big dinner to celebrate. Y/N texts Harry the second they’re on the road. He tells her to let her know when the buses are close so he can meet her down at the ice arena to walk her back to his place.

He got some homework done, and spoke to Niall and Louis about how uncomfortable Maggie had made him. They apologized for not immediately going home with him to make sure he was alright. Harry smirks when he sees some of the other significant others waiting down at the ice arena for the girls. It was only around 9:30 when the bus pull in.

“My house, one hour, ladies!” Ashley yells as everyone gets off the bus.

Y/N runs right over to Harry, and throws her arms around him. He lifts her up so her legs can wrap around his waist. She kisses all over his face, and he smiles.

“Hey, beautiful. That was a great game.”

“You watched the whole thing?”

“Mhm.”

“You’re the best.” He sets her down and grabs her bags for her. “We don’t have to go to Ashley’s tonight if you don’t want to.”

“Do you want to?”

“Well…yeah, but-“

“I’ll go.” He shrugs. “Could use some actual fun after last night.”

“We don’t have to stay long, I just wanna make an appearance.”

“S’fine with me, love.”

They both get ready, and before they leave, Y/N goes into the living room to see Louis and Niall playing video games. She clears her throat so they’ll look at her. They pause the game.

“Do you guys wanna come to the hockey house with us?”

“Sure!” Louis says. “Sounds like fun.”

“Yeah, I’m in.” Niall says.

Harry puts his arm around Y/N’s shoulders as they walk to Ashley’s place. They all get to drinking once they’re there, and it’s a great time as always. Y/N and Harry get into a game of up and down the river with some of the other girls. That game was extremely dangerous, but super fun. Once they’re done, they find themselves in the basement, dancing the night away.

“Missed you so much last night.” Harry says into her ear as she grinds back against him.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” His hands grips her hips harder to pulls her even closer. He starts kissing on her neck and her head rolls back to his shoulder.

“Missed you too.” She turns around to press her front to his and his hands slide down to her ass. “I have some of those new condoms in my bag…” She kisses on his neck. “Wanna go try them?”

“Yup!” He yanks her up the stairs from the basement, through the house and outside. He gives her a piggyback ride back to his place, and she continues to kiss on his neck.

He gets them inside and up the stairs to his room. She rifles through her bag for the condoms and takes them out. He cups her jaw and sticks his tongue in her mouth, and she immediately sucks on it. She tugs at the collar of his shirt, and starts to unbutton it the rest of the way. She pushes his shirt off his shoulders and kisses down his stomach as she gets on her knees to undo his pants. She yanks his jeans and boxers down and gives his hard cock a few licks and kisses before standing up. He pulls her top off and gets her out of the rest of her clothes. He snatches a condom and rolls it on. He gets her on the bed and opens her legs up. He rubs his fingers up and down her slit to make sure she’s wet before pushing in.

“Oh fuck!” She cries. “Harry.” She moans as he rocks in and out of her.

He looks down between the two of them to watch himself go in and out. She grabs one of his hands to put on her breast. He gets the idea and leans down to suck on one of her nipples while he kneads the other one.

“Harder, Harry, please.” She whines.

He sits up a little and puts her legs over his shoulders. He gives it to her hard and fast, and it fucking sends her. Her head rolls back into his pillows and she grips at the sheets. His tip rubs up against her g-spot over and over, and she can feel herself almost ready to lose it. He feels her squeezing around him, and he loves it. He loves being the only one to do this to her.

“Okay?” He grunts.

“Amazing! Don’t stop!” She doesn’t give a fuck how loud she’s being, she feels way too good to care.

He drops one of her legs to rub at her clit, he barely even needs to touch her and she loses it. She cries out, but he doesn’t let up. He continues to thrust in and out of her.

“Come here.” She whimpers.

They’re chest to chest, kissing sloppily, as his thrusts get less rhythmic. She knew he had to be close now.

“Wanna come, Harry?” She coos.

“Want me to?”

“Don’t you want to?” She laughs.

“I could actually keep going.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” She laughs again and so does he.

“Think I’ve got the opposite of whiskey dick.”

“I’m good to keep going.” She bites her bottom lip. “Wanna try something fun?” He nods yes and kisses on her neck. “What if I ride you, but reverse?”

He pulls out of her immediately, and gets them both in position, making her giggle. He lays flat on his back while she raises and lowers on him. She looks over her shoulder at him. His head was thrown back and he was squeezing at her hips. He sits up and she squeals when he starts thrusting up into her. He gets an arm hooked around her, squeezing one of her breasts, and his other hand rubs at her clit.

“Oh fuck.” He groans. “I’m gonna come, oh my fucking god.” He bites down on her shoulder, and this pushes her over the edge, and feeling her release pushes him over the edge. He spills into the condom and cries out into her neck. “Jesus Christ.” He breathes. He kisses on her shoulder as he catches his breath. “Alright, up you go, babe.” He lifts her off and she whimpers at the loss of him.

He gets up to throw the condom away, and she puts on his black button up to go use the bathroom. He uses it after her and comes back to her nearly passed out in the bed.

“M’so tired, Harry.” She whines.

“I know, you’ve had a long day, huh?” He climbs into bed with her.

“Yeah.” She snuggles up to him and he throws his arm around her. “But there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.” She kisses on his chest and it makes him smile ear to ear.

//

Even though a few days had passed from the soccer house incident, Y/N grimaced every time she saw Maggie around. Harry assured Y/N that it really wasn’t that big of a deal, and that they should both let it go. He didn’t even know she would know who Maggie was. Harry said he liked sportier girls, but Maggie wasn’t sporty in the slightest. She was tall and skinny, she could be a model for Christ’s sake. Y/N spots Ari in the dining hall during breakfast one morning, and goes over to her while she’s making a coffee.

“Hey, Ari.” Y/N says shyly.

“Oh, um, hi, Y/N.”

The girls weren’t exactly friends, but they weren’t exactly enemies either. Ari was dating Scott, but Y/N was still the girl that crushed all chances of her getting with Harry.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You’ve been close with Harry for a while…do you remember when he was hooking up with some girl named Maggie?”

“Yes, unfortunately.” She sighs as she adds some cream to her coffee. “They had public speaking together last semester, and I guess it was a debate day and they were on opposing sides, and the next thing he knew he was getting his dick sucked in the custodial closet in Smith Hall.” She rolls her eyes. “They hooked up pretty consistently, mostly on the weekends after a party. I thought he was done with her after this summer, but I guess the hooked up a couple of times at the beginning of the school year. Then you sort of started to take over.” She sips her coffee. “He was very concerned about tutoring you, or whatever. The boys mostly talked with him about Maggie, I didn’t really care to listen. She had texted him one night and he didn’t answer…he said he had a thing for someone else and didn’t want to fuck her anymore.”

“Wow.” Y/N was trying to take everything in. “He really said that?”

“I didn’t take you for the insecure type, Y/N.”

“It’s hard not to be…she’s, like, perfect.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah.”

“I honestly only think he was hooking up with her because she had more experience than he did. And I think he only hooked up with her at the beginning of the school year because he wanted to show her how much better he had gotten over the summer or something.”

“Seriously?” She makes a disgusted face.

“Harry’s a great guy, but he’s still a guy.” She chuckles. “Anyways, he’s really into you, you have to know that.”

“I do…I guess I just freaked out for a second. She saw him at a party Friday and tried to make a move.”

“I heard about that. You shouldn’t worry, he got right out of there.”

“That’s what he said.” She smiles at the girl. “Thanks, Ari.”

“No problem.” She shrugs and walks away.

//

Harry and Y/N were doing homework together in his room one evening. He lifts his glasses and knuckles at his eyes.

“Alright, I think I need a break before my eyes pop out of me head.” He closes his laptop and gets up. “Need a snack? I’m gonna grab some chips.”

“Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

He nods and leaves to go retrieve some food. He comes back with a couple of sodas and chips, and tosses her a can.

“I’ve been needing to ask, how have you been feeling with those condoms?”

“Oh!” She nearly chokes on her soda. “Um, good. I’m not sore anymore. When I go home go home for winter break I’m gonna see my doctor so she can check me out and test me for the allergy.”

“Good idea. I’m glad you’re not in any pain, I felt really bad.” He sips on his soda and pops a few chips into his mouth. “I’m really excited to go home with you in a few days.”

“Me too!”

“What will the, uh, sleeping arrangements be like?”

“As chill as my mom is, we can’t stay in the same room.” She rolls her eyes. “So you’ll be in my room, and I’m going to bunk with my sisters.”

“And you have a younger sister and brother, right?”

“Mhm, my sister is a senior, and my brother is a freshman.”

“Little guy.”

“Mhm, he was quite the surprise, but he’s super cute.”

“Do they play sports too?”

“My brother plays hockey, but my sister is into theater. She’s applied to every school in New York she could, but also applied here as a backup.”

“Do you two get along or not so much?”

“When we were in high school not at all, but we do now. I think the distance made her miss me. We shared a room when we were younger so we were just always on top of each other. My mom was able to buy a bigger house when the bar really took off.”

“And…your dad?”

“Not in the picture.” Y/N chomps down on a chip. “He sends us birthday cards and shit like that, but that’s all the contact I need from him. I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright.” She shrugs. “We shut down the bar on Thanksgiving and have a big dinner in there with our family, I think you’ll really like it.”

“I’m looking forward to it, babe. What time is she coming to get us Wednesday?”

“She said around nine. You should probably let us pick you up here. I’m sure she knows what we’re doing, but she doesn’t need to see it first-hand.”

“Good idea.”

“Also, since you to know these things…I do have my period, so there won’t be much funny business.”

“Can’t really fool around when we’re staying in separate rooms, can we?” He smirks.

“Please, she’ll be running around the bar at night, I’m sure I could sneak in a blow job.”

“Wouldn’t feel like doing that now would you?”

“Not particularly.” She chuckles and then pouts at him when he makes an offended face. “Just not in a very sexy mood right now. My cramps are killing me.”

“Do you need any ibuprofen?”

“No, I took some earlier, thanks. I think just some cuddles tonight will do the trick.”

“That can definitely be arranged.” He kisses her cheek. “After we finish up the rest of this homework.”

“What are your finals looking like? I have one paper, and four presentations. Four! I mean, I’m glad I don’t have an actual test, but still. It’s a lot to remember.”

“Is the paper for Mind, Brain, and Evolution?”

“Yeah, I’ve already started it. Do you think when I finish it you could give it a once over?”

“I’d be happy to, babe. I have a few presentations, two of them are group projects which is super annoying for a final. I’ll be happy when this semester is over.”

“Me too. I get two weeks off, and then I come back second week of January. We have a lot of games.”

“When does the season end? Do you ever get a break?”

“It technically ends at the beginning of February, but if we make it to the playoffs and championship it could be beginning of March, and then we get a break. We all still go to the gym and stuff together, but I get a couple of months where I can sleep in which is nice.” She grabs her laptop and so does he. “What do you do for winter break?” She asks without looking at him.

“I go home, I’m really excited. I’ve secured a paid internship at a law office. I’ll miss working in the bakery, but I can do that over the summer if I want. This’ll be a way better use of my time.”

“That’s really exciting, Har. Is that what you want to do? Law?”

“I’m not sure, honestly. I’m just trying out some different things. I really like what I’m learning in my ethics class, so I thought maybe law would be cool. It would mean a lot of extra school though, so we’ll see.” He shrugs. “Six whole weeks we won’t see each other, gonna miss me?” He grins.

“Shut up.” She nudges him. “We’ll just have to figure out when to FaceTime with the time change.”

“It’s only six hours ahead, it’ll be easy enough to figure out. I’ll be able to introduce you to all my friends…and, um, maybe my mum too?”

“I’d like that.” She smiles at him and gets back to her work.

//

The ride to Y/N’s house only takes about an hour and twenty minutes. Harry sat in the back and listened as Angie spoke about how the weekend would go.

“Harry, I hope you don’t mind staying in Y/N’s room. I guess I’m old fashioned that way.”

“Oh! It’s no problem at all. Your house, your rules. I’m grateful you invited me. It was really boring on campus last year.”

“We’re happy to have you, honey.” She smiles back at him and then looks at Y/N. “Your siblings have a half day today, so they should be home around eleven.”

“What are their names again?” Harry asks as Angie pulls into driveway.

“Julie and Cooper.” Y/N says as she gets out.

Harry grabs their bags, and she leads him inside, and up the stairs.

“So, my mom’s bedroom is downstairs, makes it easier for her to be quiet on the late nights, and then all of ours are up here.” Y/N explains. “Here’s my room. My sister and I have a Jack and Jill bathroom, and then there’s another on down the hall.”

She pushes the door open and Harry gazes around. Her room was…shocking. It was a lot different from her room from school. The walls were a light pink, and her bedding was baby blue. She had plenty of trophies, but she also had posters of boy bands. There was a huge Jonas Brothers poster on the wall opposite of the bed. She also had a large poster of Zac Efron, and Tyler Seguin.

“It’s a little outdated in here, I just never think to redecorate.” She shrugs.

“No, it’s, um, it’s cute.” He clears his throat and puts his bag on her bed.

“Here, I’ll show you the bathroom.”

“And I’ll share this with you and your sister?”

“Yeah, but if you feel more comfortable you can use the one down the hall.”

She opens the door and shows him where he can put his things, if he wants, and then she shows him her sister’s room, which was a mess. She had a set of bunk beds, which had clothes all over them.

“Ugh, I told her she needed to clean up in here.” Y/N rolls her eyes. “Sorry about that.” She shuffles him back into her room.

“No worries, looks like any other house.” He smiles.

They both go downstairs and she shows him the rest of the house. Angie was working to whip up some sandwiches for lunch.

“You have a lovely home.” Harry says as he and Y/N sit down at the kitchen island.

“Oh, thank you, sweetheart.” She smile and places two sandwiches in front of them.

“Thanks, mum.”

“I have to go do some work in the office, let Julie and Coop know there’s lunch made when they come in.” She smiles and leaves the kitchen.

“Your mum is really nice.”

“She loves it when she has all of us home, and she loves being a host.”

“I cannot believe you did that!”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!”

“Oh boy.” Y/N sighs. “They’re home.”

“I’m never driving your friends home ever again, in fact, you can fucking walk!” Julie storms into the kitchen and stops short.

“Technically, that’s my car, and I say you have to drive him.”

“Y/N!” Julie smiles and hugs her sister. “Cooper and his friend decided to spill the beans that I have a crush on my friend Brian, and Brian just so happened to be in the front seat of my car.”

She huffs and grabs a sandwich. Y/N puts her hands on her hips and looks at Cooper.

“Why would you do that?”

“It just slipped out.” He shrugs and hugs her. “Oh, yum, mum made sandwiches.” He snatches one and looks at Harry, so does Julie.

“Sorry, this is my boyfriend, Harry.”

“It’s nice to meet you both.”

Julie’s jaw drops when she hears his accent. She goes over to Y/N and whispers in her ear.

“You didn’t say he was British!”

“I can hear you.” Harr whispers and smirks.

“Sorry, um, it’s just…I wish I had known sooner. Our production at school is Mary Poppins, I’m Mary Poppins, and it just would have been nice to listen to you talk so I could study a real accent. I’ve just been watching videos of Julie Andrews.”

“Wow! You’re the lead, that’s so cool. Will we get to see it?”

“Mhm, opening was last weekend, but we always do a show during Thanksgiving break. Friday night.” She smiles and then heads upstairs.

“Clean up the clothes up there!” Y/N yells after her.

“Cooper, Y/N tells me you play hockey too, has your season started?”

“Not until after the holidays.” He finishes up his sandwich. “Not that it matters.” He rolls his eyes.

“Why do you say that?” Y/N asks.

“Because I’m a freshman on the varsity team, I’m gonna be riding the bench the whole season.”

“You made vars for a reason, they’ll let you play.” Y/N assures him, and then he leaves.

“You’re all so talented. Your sister is a lead in a play, your brother’s on the varsity team, and you…well, everything about you is amazing.”

“Harry.” She pouts and then kisses him. “You’re so sweet.”

“So, what are the plans for tonight?”

“Well, my mom is gonna go to the bar to work and to prep some of the food for tomorrow.”

“Does she need help?”

“Nope, she makes a lot of it advance. Most if it thawing in the fridges probably. We’ll hang out here for a bit, and then we’ll go to my friend Max’s house for a kickback.”

“Max, huh?”

“Just a friend.” She smiles and then furrows her brows. “I think you’re, like, my first real boyfriend.” She blushes.

“Awwww.” He squishes her face and kisses her. “I’m honored.”

Harry and Y/N mostly hang out in her room. Julie was mindlessly singing in her room, and Cooper was playing video games in his. Y/N ends up heating up a lasagna that Angie left for them for dinner.

“I need my car tonight.” She tells Julie.

“Why?”

“Max is having a party.”

“Can I come?”

“No.”

“Why not?!”

“Don’t you have your own friends to hang out with?” Y/N groans. “I’m not bringing you to a party where a bunch of my friends are going to be drinking and smoking and whatever else, plus, you need to stay home with Coop.”

“I’m fifteen, I don’t need a babysitter.” He scoffs.

“Can you both please just give me a break? I’m only home for a few days, and I just want one night to go see my friends.”

“Will you take us Black Friday shopping?” Julie asks.

“Fine.”

“Okay, your keys are in the bowl by the door.”

Harry and Y/N get ready in her room, and let Julie and Cooper know that they’re heading out and will be home a little after midnight. She needed to be home before her mom.

“So, how long have you been friends with Max? You’ve never mentioned him before.”

“Known him since elementary school, became good friends in eighth grade, became even better friends in high school. We talk when we can. He goes to a school a few hours away, and we’re both busy.” She shrugs. “Some other friends will be there too: Michelle, Brandy, Ryan, Candace, and probably others. Max has a big basement.”

She pulls up in front of his house, and goes around back to where the basement door was. She walks right in, and she squeals along with some other people. It was hugs all around. She introduces Harry to everyone, and grabs a couple of drinks out of the cooler. There were people vaping, and there were other people smoking weed.

“Y/N!” Max exclaims.

“Max!”

He lifts her up and spins her around, and kisses her cheek. Harry clears his throat.

“Max, this is my boyfriend, Harry. Remember, I told you I was bringing him?”

“Oh, right.” He shakes Harry’s hand. “Nice to meet you, man.”

“Same here.”

Harry looked hot tonight. He had his contacts in, he was wearing his black ripped jeans, and a dark green sweater. He puts his arm around Y/N’s shoulders and takes a sip of his drink. Harry stays sort of quiet as Y/N catches up with her friends, but she never leaves his side. She tells all of them how she and Harry met, and she kisses his cheek. It felt nice to finally bring a real date around her friends. Harry notices how attentive Max is to Y/N. Offering her a new drink just about every time her current one was empty.

They all get into a game of flip cup for a bit, and then someone starts playing really good music so a few people start to dance.

“Did you all party like this in high school?” Harry asks Y/N as he grips her hips.

“God, no! We’d usually just watch movies or hang out down here. We started having parties like this over the summer.”

“His parents can’t hear?”

“They’re not home! Everyone’s down at my mom’s bar drinking. She always does this big special the night before Thanksgiving. No one wants to cook the night before, you know?”

“Smart!”

She wraps her arms around his neck and grinds her front against his. They were having a great time.

“Damn, Y/N’s boyfriend is hot!” Michelle says to Max.

“I guess.” He mumbles.

“What are you so bent out of shape for?” Ryan asks.

“I don’t know…I forgot she was bringing him home. I didn’t think things were this serious, look at them!”

“She told me that they love each other.” Michelle says.

“Not helping.” Max groans. “It’s my own fucking fault. Should have made a move last summer.”

“Didn’t you guys make out?” Ryan asks.

“We kissed, and that was forever ago. It was summer before we went for freshman year. She hadn’t been kissed and neither had I, and we both wanted our first kiss to be special, so we got it over with, with each other. Neither of us ever talked about it again, but I wish I had. Now she’s kissing someone else.” He sighs.

And she was. Her tongue was inside Harry’s mouth. Her period was making her extra needy for him. She pulls him back towards the couch in the basement. There were plenty of other people making out, so it wasn’t a big deal. He sits down and she sits on one of his thighs, not wanting to straddle him and risk leaking. She tugs at his hair and attaches her lips to his neck. He gropes at her ass and bites his bottom lip as she sucks on his soft skin.

“Do you think, um, you’ll be able to drive back to my house?” She says into his ear.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Are you about ready to go?”

“Mhm.” She grins. “But I want you to drive us out somewhere first, somewhere I’ve always wanted to go with someone special.”

He smiles and nods. They both get up and say their goodbyes. Y/N hugs her friends, and gives Max an extra squeeze before leaving. She tells Harry where to go, and they end up parked out on this hill that has a beautiful view of the water and the nearby city.

“Wow.” He says. There are other cars parked and he smirks. “Did you bring me to a make out spot?”

“Maybe.” She grins. “I’ve only ever been here during the day. Wanna get in the back?”

He nods and they both get into the back seat. She kisses on him before inching down his body and undoing his jeans. She tugs his cock out and she starts pumping him. He holds her hair back while she gets her lips around him.

“Fuck.” He breathes.

She swirls her tongue around his tip and then licks around his shaft before sucking on him again. She moans around him and his eyes roll into the back of his head. She bobs her head up and down on him, and he starts to carefully thrust his hips up and move her head. He was fucking her mouth, he couldn’t help it. She was so wet and warm and perfect, and she was just letting him take control.

“Y/N.” He moans. “Feels so fucking good.”

She moans around him again, and he loses it without warning. She gags on him for a second, but she’s able to take it all, and then she swallows. She breathes heavily as she pops off him. She tucks him back into his pants and he pulls her face down to his. He bites and sucks on her bottom lip.

“How heavy is your flow?” He breathes.

“Don’t even go there.” She laughs and pulls away from him.

“Just wanna take care of you, baby.”

“It’s okay.” She smiles. “Come on, we need to get back to my house.”

Harry drives them back to her house, and they get inside. They both do their nightly routines and she gives him a kiss goodnight. She crawls into the bottom bunk of her in her sister’s room and settles in.

“Hey.” Julie whispers.

“Hey.” Y/N whispers back. “Do you always sleep on the top bunk?”

“No, I just thought it would be easier for you when you got in.”

“Oh.” She laughs. “Thanks.”

“Did you have fun?”

“Mhm, I took Harry to the lookout on that hill after the party. It was nice. Are you still upset about the Brian thing?”

“No.” She giggles. “He texted me and told me he liked me too. We’re gonna go out Saturday after the matinee. I’m excited for you to see the show.”

“That’s great! And me too.”

“Is it torturous to have Harry in your bed without you?”

“A little, but I don’t wanna disrespect mom. This’ll be fine for a few days. I have my period anyways, so it’s not like we can do much.”

“What was your first time like?”

“It was…special.” She smiles to herself.

The girls stay up talking until they fall asleep.

//

The next morning, Y/N crawls into her bed with Harry to have a little snuggle. They giggle and get up eventually. They all take turns showering and getting ready before going downstairs. Y/N drives them all to the restaurant to meet Angie there and help get everything set up.

“Wow.” Harry says as they walk into the bar. “This place is huge.”

“Yeah! We have live bands here and stuff, it’s so cool.” She walks him to the back where food was cooking.

“Smells so good back here.” He says.

“Thanks!” Angie says.

Everyone helps set up the tables and chairs, and family slowly starts to show up. Y/N introduces Harry to her aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. The long table was full of laughing and loud conversations. Harry really enjoyed the food that Angie had put together. He was happy to see that Y/N came from a really loving family.

They all take a nap after getting home, and then wake up around eleven to go to the mall for Black Friday shopping. They spend a few hours there, shopping for holiday gifts, and head home around two in the morning. Harry had so much fun, never having gone shopping like that before. Saturday, Angie takes everyone to Julie in Mary Poppins for a matinee. Julie was very talented, and Harry secretly hoped she was able to go to school in New York like she wanted. Saturday evening Harry plays video games with Cooper in the living room while Y/N spends some alone time with her mom. Things were going really well until the doorbell rang. Cooper sighs and pauses the game. He looks out the window first to see who it is.

“Shit.” He says and runs to the back of the house where Y/N and Angie were in the office. “Dad’s here.”

“What?!” Angie says. “Christ, he must’ve come to see Julie today. I’m glad she’s out with Brian.”  

Y/N and Angie walk out to the living room, and Angie opens the door, crossing her arms.

“What do you want, Robert?”

“It’s Thanksgiving weekend, I just wanted to see the kids.”

“You don’t have any sort of custody over them for a reason, you need to leave.”

“Y/N? Is that you? How’s school, honey?”

Y/N scoffs and rolls her eyes. Harry isn’t sure what to do expect put his arm around her as they sit on the couch. Cooper sits closely on her other side.

“I saw Julie perform today, she was amazing.”

“Yes she was, and I’ll pass the message along, now please go.” She steps forward and whispers. “I don’t want to have to call the police.”

“I just want to see my kids.”

“You have two other kids, go be with them and your wife. Does she know you drove all the way out here?”

“No.”

“Robert, get out of here. They don’t want to see you.”

She goes back inside and slams the door shut in his face. She locks it up and looks out the window to make sure he leaves. He sticks an envelope in the mailbox and gets into his car. She sighs heavily and plops down onto the couch.

“I’m so sorry about that.” She more so says to Harry. “He does this around most holidays.”

“It’s alright.” Harry assures her. “Every family has their issues.”

“Well, I don’t know about you all, but I’m pooped, and I need to take you back in the morning, so I may turn in.” She kisses Cooper on the top of his head and goes to her room.

After Julie gets home, and dishes about her date with Brian, Y/N goes to cuddle with harry for a bit. He wanted to ask what exactly happened with her dad, but he didn’t want to pry.

“That was really embarrassing earlier, I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be, babe.”

“It’s just…like, ten years ago, we found out he was having an affair. He was shit to us, but amazing to this other woman. He had two kids with her, and was giving all of his money to her. My mom won full custody in court, all three of us said we wanted nothing to do with him, and she had a really good lawyer. It sucked, but we got through it. He ended up marrying her…and…well, we think he had a drinking problem or something, so now he’s trying to make up for lost time. Maybe someday I’ll forgive him, but right now I can’t stand him.”

“I’m so sorry.” He caresses her cheek. “That had to have been really hard.”

“The three of us had to see a therapist together, it was wild.”

Harry wasn’t sure what to say. His parents divorced when he was really little, and he had a decent enough relationship with his father. He really couldn’t relate, but what he could do was sit and listen as she spoke, and gives her back gentle rubs as she continued to explain her trauma.

//

“Harry, do you mind if I drop you off first, sweetheart? I’m going to take Y/N grocery shopping.” Angie says as they approach the exit for campus.

“Not at all! Works for me.”

“Unless…do you need groceries?”

“I’ll go with my roommates later, they have a car, but thank you.”

He thanks her again for having him for the weekend, and tells Y/N he’ll text her later. Angie and Y/N go grocery shopping and she helps her get everything into her apartment.

“So…” Angie says. “I like him a lot. He’s very sweet, Y/N.”

“Yeah, he is.” They both sit down on her couch. “Thanks again for letting him stay for the weekend. I’m happy he got to meet everyone.”

“You really like each other, huh?”

“Well…we sort of love each other mom.”

“Oh, honey.” She puts her hand over hers. “I’m so happy you have someone that makes you feel this way, but try not to get too wrapped up, okay? He’s your first real boyfriend, and he lives in London when he’s not here, and-“

“We’re nineteen, I’m not saying we’re getting married, can you calm down?” She laughs.

“I just don’t want you getting heart broken when things get hard over the summer when you can’t be together all the time. Winter break is one thing, but three entire months apart…anything could happen.”

“I don’t know if he goes home for the entire summer. Louis and Niall don’t because of soccer. We haven’t talked about it yet. We’re just going with the flow.”

“Alright.” Her mom smiles. “I just worry about you, that’s all. You’re all growing up so fast.”

Y/N and her mom hug before she leaves, and then Y/N goes upstairs to unpack her bags. She gets a reminder on her phone that she needs to register for classes tomorrow morning. She had already spoken with her advisor about it, but she wanted Harry’s opinion on her gen eds.

Y/N: mom’s gone, are you around?

Harry: yeah! Just got back from the store, wanna come over?

Y/N: be there in ten!

Y/N puts her laptop in her backpack, and makes her way to Harry’s apartment.

“Hey.” He smiles and lets her in. “Long time no see.” He says sarcastically.

“I know, feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” She rolls her eyes and goes right up to his room. “I get to register for classes tomorrow, wanna see what my plan is?”

“I get to register tomorrow too! Yeah, let’s compare.” They each show each other their major courses, and then Harry squints at her gen eds. “Wait, you’re going to take the Art of Film for your creative thought requirement?”

“Yeah, Megan took it and said it was really easy. You just watch movies and talk about how they’re made.”

“I’m gonna take that too! Mondays and Wednesdays at 10:30, right?”

“Yeah!” She can’t help but squeal. “We’re gonna be in a class together? Wow, I bet you’re super sexy in class, all serious and taking notes. I don’t know how I’ll be able to concentrate.” She winks at him and giggles.

“It’ll, um, certainly give us an excuse to do homework together.” He was blushing.

“Mhm.” She closes both of their laptops and moves to sit in his lap. She kisses on his neck and wraps his arms around her back.

“Do you still have your period?”

“No.” She smiles against his neck.

“Thank god.”

Y/N yelps as Harry moves her to pin her down on his bed. He lifters her shirt up over her breasts and he frowns when he sees her sports bra.

“Why’d you even bother with this thing, huh?”

“I wasn’t going to bounce around while I walked over here!”

“But you had a coat on, no one would have noticed, just making things so difficult for me.” He pouts and helps her out of her shirt and bra. “There we are, hi girls.”

“Harry.” She giggles. “Stop being so silly.”

“Can’t help it.” He kneads her breasts and rubs his thumbs over her nipples. He stops and then he looks at her.

“What?”

“I think…I mean, I know you’re my girlfriend and all, but…you’re like my best friend, Y/N. I can just always be myself around you.”

She pulls his face down to hers. She felt the same way. Harry had become Y/N’s best friend. Things weren’t always sexual between them. They were able to joke around, sending gifs and memes to each other over text, tagging each other in tik toks the each thought the other would find funny. After she’s done sucking on his bottom lip she looks up at him smiles.

“I feel the same way.”

He smiles and dips his head down to suck on one of her nipples, and his hand slips inside her sweatpants. He pets her over her underwear at first, and then slips inside so he can really feel her. She groans as he rubs over her clit and moves to suck on her other nipple. If every moment between them could be like this, Y/N would be happy forever.

//

Reality was setting in as finals got closer and closer. Harry got busier tutoring other people, and even though he still made time to go to Y/N’s games, they weren’t able to hang out as much. They were able to meet up for a few holiday parties between their various friend groups, and that way great and all, but sleepovers were few and far between. They were able to practice some presentations together, and Harry did look over Y/N’s paper for Mind, Brain, and Evolution, but they both just couldn’t wait for finals to be over.

With finals being over, though, that meant they both would be leaving for the end of the semester. Finals week itself was more chill than the week leading up to it. Y/N and Harry had a sleepover almost every night, and she found herself waking up and crying a couple of times because she was going to miss him so much, and seeing her like that broke his fucking heart. She was such a sweet girl, and only he really got to see this side of her.

“It’ll be okay, baby, we’ll FaceTime and stuff, it’ll go by quickly.”

“I know.” She sniffles. “Just thinking about it makes me sad, though. Campus was so quiet last winter break. It’s boring having nothing to do but practice and go to games.”

“I wish I could stay…I should have tried to find an internship here, or something.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t want you doing something like that just for me. It’s just gonna suck at first, but it’ll be nice to look forward to seeing you.”

“Exactly.”

She stayed in his arms as long as she could until Angie came to pick her up for the couple of weeks she’d be home. It was a teary goodbye to say the least.

//

Final grades came out after Christmas and Y/N nearly passed out when she saw she had received straight A’s. For the first time in her life she was an A student. It had to have been because of Harry. He really was a good study skills tutor. She couldn’t wait to tell him how well she did. She took a picture of her final grades and texted him. He almost immediately called her.

“Babe! What are you doing up? It’s like the middle of the night over there, isn’t it?”

“It is, but I heard my phone buzz, and then I saw your text. Congratulations! I’m so proud of you.”

“It was all thanks to you…”

“No, you put so much work in, that was all you.”

“How were your grades?”

“Sraight A’s, same as you.” He yawns.

“You need to go back to sleep.” She giggles.

“But I like your voice.”

“I like yours too, but we can talk tomorrow when we’ve both gotten some sleep.”

“Okay, baby, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Harry was enjoying interning at the law office, and most days he would tell Y/N all about it. One evening they plan a FaceTime so Y/N can “meet” Anne and Gemma. Y/N was back on campus after the holidays so she didn’t have to worry about her siblings or mom embarrassing her. It was a great chat, Y/N spoke about why she was majoring in business, and what it was like to play hockey, and how she was looking forward to the season ending in a month or so.

“She’s very nice, Harry.” Anne tells him after they hang up.

“I know.” He says, proudly.

“You must miss her a lot.” Gemma says. “What are you going to do about summer?”

“Oh, Harry, please don’t stay in America over the summer.” Anne says.

“Wasn’t planning on it mum. I was sort of hoping she could come here for a visit when the lads and I go out to Italy for our annual holiday.”

“That’s like a three week trip you lot take, you better ask her soon so she can save up for the air fare.” Anne says.

“I know, I’m gonna run it by her when I get back. I didn’t wanna freak her out or anything. I can’t wait to see her. We have a class together this semester, so even if we both get busy we’ll be able to see each other.” Anne and Gemma look at each other and then back to Harry. “What?”

“It’s just nice to see you so smitten.” Gemma says. “Didn’t think you’d want to be so serious with someone in uni.”

“I didn’t either, but she took me by surprise. She’s just very real and herself, and I like that. Some of the girls at school are so fake sometimes, pretending to like things just because I do.”

“Aw, poor thing, it’s so terrible being liked by so many people.” Anne teases him and he rolls his eyes.

“S’not was I was saying. I’m done with this conversation, you both are so annoying.” He groans and leaves to go to his room. Anne and Gemma giggle with each other.

//

The other teams on campus were basketball and wrestling. A lot of the girls on the basketball team were with a lot of the girls on the hockey team, so Y/N would often go to their parties. She felt a little better about going to a party where there would be more girls, it just got difficult when Amanda and Gina would leave with a girl, and Y/N had to walk alone to her apartment. She knew she was safe, but it was creepy in the winter from it being so quiet. She missed her dance partner terribly.

What Harry hadn’t told her is that since he lived off campus, he didn’t have to follow the confines of the move in schedule, so he, Louis, and Niall, all came back a week early on the same flight. He was planning to surprise her at a home game. He bought flowers and went to the ice arena with the guys. Y/N’s eyes grew wide when she spotted him in the stands.

“That son of a bitch!” She said to herself very excitedly. Now she had to get through the entire game before running into his arms.

They played a great game and won, 3-1. Y/N rips her padding off and runs out into the arena only in her under armor not caring who saw, and she squeals when she sees Harry. His face lights up when he sees her running towards him. He opens up his arms and she jumps into them. She wraps her legs around his waist and slots her lips over his.

“I.” Kiss. “Missed.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss. “So.” Kiss. “Much.” She couldn’t stop kissing him.

“I missed you too.” He giggles. “You’re crushing the flowers I got you.” He snakes them out to show her.

“Thank you so much!” She kisses him again. “Ugh, I have to shower and stuff.” She pouts.

“S’alright, I can wait for you, or I can come to your place once you’re done here, whatever you want.” He lets her down and she smiles up at him.

“Come to my place in an hour, okay?” She takes the flowers from him.

“I’ll be there.”

She runs back into the locker room she can shower and get ready. She was extremely excited to see Harry for multiple reasons.

“Do you want us to go find somewhere else to be for a bit?” Amanda asks as they all walk to their apartment.

“Yeah, we can go downtown for food or something.”

“You guys are so nice. Maybe just stay downstairs?”

The girls nods and giggle as they make their way inside their apartment. Y/N rushes to clean up her disaster of a room. She picks out a thing she knows Harry will want to rip off and puts a pair of leggings on with it. She throws on a t-shirt without a bra, and waits for him. She was getting wet just thinking about the sex they were about to have.

Amanda lets Harry in and he goes right up to Y/N’s room.

“Babe?” He says as he goes in.

She lunches towards him and pushes him up against the now closed door, locking it while she kisses him. He lifts her up and brings her over to the bed. He gets on top of her and grinds against her. She groans as she gets his shirt off. His hands were a little cold from being outside, but she didn’t care. She wanted him to touch her all over.

“Good break?” He breathes as he moves to take her shirt off, attaching his lips to her breasts, leaving hot, wet kisses behind.

“Mhm, you?”

“Can’t complain too much.”

He yanks her leggings down and grins at her flimsy thing. He flips her body over and she giggles as he kneads her bum cheeks. He kisses down her back and down one of her cheeks while taking her thong off. He spreads her legs and licks into her from behind.

“Oh my god.” She gasps and he moans into her.

“So wet for me already?”

“Been like this since I saw you at the game.” She whines. “Please take care of me.”

“I will baby, I will.”

He was surprised she was letting him do this since she didn’t like having her ass in his face usually, but he wasn’t going to question her on it. Once he’s had a good taste he stands up to take his pants off. She pulls him forward by his hips and she wraps her lips around him.

“Christ.” He groans. “Missed this so much.”

“Aw, did the naughty pictures I sent you not help enough?” She pouts up at him, spit dripping down on her chin.

“No they helped in the moment, and then just made things worse because I wanted to touch you.”

“Touch me now.” She nearly growls and yanks him on top of her.

Harry taps two of his fingers on her bottom lip and she opens up for him to suck on. She swirls her tongue around them before he takes them away, slipping them inside her. She reaches for a condom in her desk drawer while he fingers in. She felt like she was going to go cross eyed.

“Shit, Harry.” She pants and then he takes his fingers away. “What are you doing?!”

“I want us to come together.” He mumbles as he takes the condom from her, sliding it onto his dick. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah.” She smiles. “We can fuck all night, though, so don’t feel like this needs to be drawn out.”

“No party?”

“No there is, but I’d much rather stay in and be with you alone.”

He spreads her apart and pushes inside. He nearly nuts right there from how tight she is. He stays there a moment before moving.

“You’re so fucking tight.” He grunts.

“I tried using my own fingers while you were gone, but you do it so much better.” She wraps her legs around him and pulls him even closer, nails dragging down his back. “Feels so good, Har.”

“You feel amazing, been dreaming of this, baby girl.”

He fucks into her hard and quick, rubbing on her clit, and they both cry out as they come together. He collapses on top of her and she plays with his hair before he pulls out. They just snuggle and lay together for a bit, talking about their breaks. Harry kisses on Y/N and holds her close. They end up doing it again, nice and slow with her riding him, rocking back and forth until he can’t stand it anymore and takes over the pace. She throws some clothes and grabs them both some snacks before cuddling back up with her laptop for a movie.

“So, I get you to myself for an entire week?” She asks.

“Mhm.” He kisses her temple.

“Good, I missed your bed.” They both chuckle.

“I have something to ask you…I know it’s a ways away, but every summer since I was in high school my friends and I take this trip to Italy for a few weeks. My friend’s dad has a house on the water, and we rent a boat. We go fishing, and we even go camping for a couple of days. It’s incredible…we usually go end of July through early August.”

“Okay.” She looks up at him sort of confused.

“Well…I know the plane ticket would be expensive, but how would you like to come with me this summer? Sometimes they bring girlfriends too, so you wouldn’t be the only girl there, not that I think you’d care much about that.”

“You’d really want me around for that long?”

“Of course! Be a nice way to break up the summer for us, don’t you think?”

“Yeah.” She smiles. “I’d love to come out there…I’d just have to ask my mom. She really relies on my help during the summer. We get a lot of tourists so we’re super busy…”

“Even if it’s just ten days, doesn’t have to be the full three weeks, as much as I’d like you there the whole time.”

“I’ll talk to her about it for sure. That sounds like a dream!” She throws her arms around him and hugs him tight, kissing his cheek. “I’ve been to England before, you know?”

“How are you just telling me this now?” He laughs.

“I don’t know.” She laughs too. “I went during April vacation in high school my junior year, it was so much fun. So at least I’ve traveled internationally before. I bet she’ll be fine with it. A nice thing to look forward to.”

“Exactly.” He squishes his nose to hers and smiles.

Deep in her heart, Y/N knew she and Harry were still kids. He’d be twenty in a couple of weeks, but they were still so young. She loved him a lot and he loved her, and she knew it would be dumb to think super far ahead about their relationship. Right now, they were having a lot of fun, navigating college life together, and that was enough. It didn’t need to be overly serious. Y/N had a few friends that were seniors, and some of them acted like they were already married, playing house. She didn’t quite know where life was going to take her, and that was okay. She didn’t know where life was going to take Harry either, and that was okay too. They were both living in the moment, and absolutely fucking loving it.

#the tutor #tutor!harry #hockeyplayer!reader #tutorry #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #friends to lovers #college au #pls tag if you reblog #send me feedback too

[hottestthingalive]

Changes, Tricks, and Trust

He does what he can. And sometimes, doing what he can means that, when he opens the door for trick-or-treaters while his dad is wrangling Remus into his pirate costume and finds a man holding hands with a kid younger than even Roman and Remus (wearing a scientist costume and a cat costume, respectively,) who introduces himself as “Logan Abbott, and this is Patton. You must be Janus,” he just glares, and slams the door in their faces.

—

In which the Carroll siblings conspire against their father’s new boyfriend, Logan makes a promise, and Janus has a grudge against omelets. 

Notes: Look, okay, we’re all very aware this is two hours past Halloween, and an hour into No-Content November, but I wrote this in a day and am operating under the logic that it is both Halloween and not November somewhere, so let’s pretend we’re all okay with this and move on. Virgil also calls Roman and Remus peanut butter and jelly, which makes up for all my sins.

Roman also knows lots of words he shouldn’t at his age, because I am, in fact, projecting myself at six onto him. Let him have a big vocabulary! 

(He also mispronounces most of the words. This is still projecting. I apologize in advance.)

Many thanks to @smileyzs​, who stayed up far too late to help me edit, and the rest of @waffle-gang-incorrect-quotes​, who had to listen to me ranting about this as I wrote it. Y’all deserve the world. Thank you for putting up with me, and this fic. 

Warnings: Implied gore (but not really), food mentions (mostly candy), a fair bit of angst, Janus manipulating his brothers but not in an intentionally cruel way.

Relationships: Romantic Analogical, familial logicality, familial virgil, janus, roman and remus, platonic loceit, intrulogical, and logince. 

Words: 5328

Ao3

Enjoy!

—

“Roman, Remus,” Virgil says calmly, holding up a knife, stained with guts and gore, the key piece of evidence to the brutal mutilations of two innocents, “who decided to carve ‘Logan is a butt’ into our pumpkins?”

They point at each other, faces the picture of wide-eyed innocence. Virgil is not fooled. 

“Janus, do you know anything about this?” he asks, turning away from the twins to look at his nine year old, who is currently pretending to be very occupied with the book he is reading at the dinner table. Virgil wonders if Janus knows that he hasn’t turned a page in the last five minutes. Probably not. 

“Oh, why would I ever do that?” Janus wonders, looking up from the book, his puppy-eyes matching those of the twins. “It really is too bad though. Clearly, you can’t have Logan over for Halloween anymore. Tragic.” 

Virgil pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Janus, you’re the only one tall enough to reach the knife block, and I found the knife hidden under Remus’ bed. I know it was you three.” He puts the knife down on the table, really hoping the pumpkin guts won’t stain the wood, and says “Kids, remember what we said about playing with knives without adult supervision?”

“Not to do it,” the twins mumble in unison. Janus says “Do it only when we’re in trouble, like defending ourselves from a vicious intruder about to invade our home?” instead, which was not the answer Virgil was looking for, and he’s very sure Janus knows it. 

“Look,” Virgil says, sitting down in one of the chairs that his kids have covered in fake cobwebs and pumpkin stickers, “I’ve already invited Logan and Patton over. And I… I really, really like him. A lot.” He turns a bit red, at that, and ignores Janus rolling his eyes. “But if you guys really think he’s that bad after you meet him tonight, I’ll break up with him, okay? You three are always going to be my top priority. Just promise me you’ll keep an open mind, yeah?” 

“Okay,” Roman agrees, and runs to jump up into Virgil’s lap, burying his head in Virgil’s shoulder. “I’m sorry we messed up the pumpkins and were mean to Mr. Logan, Dad.”

“It’s okay, peanut butter,” Virgil tells him. He expected Roman to be the apologetic one — for a six year old, his son has  developed quite the sense of right and wrong. He’s a bit more surprised when Remus does the same, squirming into the hug and saying “I’m sorry we called him a butt.” He snickers, a bit, which makes Virgil think he’s not all that sorry, but he lets it go. 

“Thank you, jelly,” he says, and looks expectantly at Janus. 

“Sure, whatever,” Janus says, snapping the book closed. “I’m sorry we messed up your decorations, Dad.”

“I don’t care about the decorations, hon,” Virgil reminds him. “I’m just glad you guys didn’t get hurt, okay? No more knives. Now c’mere, Jan.”

Janus begrudgingly joins the hug, wrapping his arms around Virgil and the twins both, and they just sit like that, Virgil and his children, in the quiet of the kitchen. 

“Okay,” he says finally, “let's get you into your costumes, yeah?”

—

Janus just wants his dad to be happy. 

He saw what happened the last times his dad went on dates. He got all excited. Dressed up. Kissed his sons goodbye, smiling and happy and practically dancing on clouds. 

And then, one day, he’d come home a bit off. He’d put on a smile, he’d act like everything was fine, but then he’d make them omelets for dinner. 

Janus hates omelets, because Dad only makes omelets when he’s sad. 

He’s heard his dad talking about it on the phone late at night with Uncle Remy, who isn’t really their uncle, but who calls himself their uncle every time he comes over anyways. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Dad will say, with his voice choked up like he’s crying, and Janus will stand with his back against the door and hear Remy’s voice murmur something soothing, always including curse words about his dad’s ex which Janus isn’t supposed to know the meanings of.

Janus isn’t supposed to be up, on those nights. But he is, usually, staying up after they’re put to bed every time Dad makes omelets for dinner, because he knows that once he hangs up, he can wander into his dad’s room with some mumbled excuse about nightmares and do his best to comfort him without mentioning the breakup at all. 

He does what he can. And sometimes, doing what he can means that, when he opens the door for trick-or-treaters while his dad is wrangling Remus into his pirate costume and finds a man holding hands with a kid younger than even Roman and Remus (wearing a scientist costume and a cat costume, respectively,) who introduces himself as “Logan Abbott, and this is Patton. You must be Janus,” he just glares, and slams the door in their faces. 

“Who was that?” his dad asks as he enters the room, holding Remus in his arms, who is finally in his costume, and not running around naked, as he has been for the last eight minutes. 

“No one,” Janus says, the picture of innocence, and then the doorbell rings again. “I’ll get it!”

“No, it’s fine,” his dad says, already crossing the room towards the door. “I’ve got it, honey. Thank you, though!”

He opens the door, and his face transforms, going from Regular-Dad-Face to his Sappy-Dumb-Blushy-Face. Janus hates the Sappy-Dumb-Blushy-Face.

“Logan!” Dad says, all high-pitched and pink cheeks, and Janus braces himself to be ratted out by stupid, stupid Logan Abbott. Which is a stupid name, too.

“Hello, Virgil,” says dumb, stupid, Dad-stealing Logan, whose voice is all soft, which just gets Janus angrier, because he’s making an effort to sound genuine about it. “And you must be one of the twins. What’s your name?”

Janus feels rather gratified when Remus just sticks out his tongue, though less so when his dad says “Remus, be nice,” in his Please, Kids, We Talked About This voice. “Come in! This is Janus, and Roman should be right down.”

Logan looks over at Janus as the door closes behind him, and Janus crosses his arms over his chest. He waits for him to say “Ah, yes, we met earlier,” or “Right, I remember,” or even “He slammed the door in our faces earlier,” but all that Logan says is “It’s nice to meet you, Janus,” with the kind of smile that sappy people in movies wear. He thinks, reluctantly, that it’s a nice smile, and that the kid, at least, doesn’t seem so bad.

“Octopus!” says the boy beside him, pointing at Janus, with pure glee in his big brown eyes. “Octopus!”

“I’m a kraken,” he grumbles, all kind thoughts towards his dad’s stupid boyfriend and his dumb kid gone. 

This Halloween is gonna suck. 

—

“You’re a dumb scientist,” Remus says to Mr. Logan, arms crossed across his chest, as Roman and Janus mutter together behind them, his dad walking with the little kid who had introduced himself as ‘Patpat!’ and whom the adults call ‘Patton’. His dad has managed to fix the pumpkins, despite all odds, and they look rather nice as they walk away, off into the wilds of the neighborhood for some trick-or-treating. 

Remus has been designated the distraction while his brothers figure out a way to get Logan Abbott to go home and leave their dad alone. “You’re good at being a distraction!” Roman chirps, and Janus mutters “And you won’t betray us like Roman would.” 

He is good at being a distraction. And he loves his dad more than anything (except maybe his brothers) and Janus is very smart, and if he says getting Mr. Logan to go away will make their dad happy, Remus will believe him. 

Plus, it is a dumb costume. 

“Why am I a dumb scientist?” asks Mr. Logan, who doesn’t seem very insulted by this, merely curious. 

“Your lab coat is covered in green and blue and red,” Remus tells him, using his sword to point at the splotches. “Everyone knows potions are green and blue and purple. And you’re a butt.”

“Well,” Mr. Logan says, and though his eyes curl up like he’s smiling, his expression is still neutral, “I had my assistant deal with all the purple ones, because purple potions smell bad.” (Remus wants to laugh at that, just a little bit.) “And the red isn’t from potions.”

“What’s the red, then?” asks Remus, despite himself. 

“The blood of my enemies,” says Mr. Logan matter-of-factly. 

“Cool,” he breathes, looking at Logan with newfound respect. “Why’d you murder them?”

“I am an evil scientist,” he answers, adjusting his glasses. “It is in the job description.”

“Cool!”

“Also a butt as well, apparently,” Mr. Logan adds thoughtfully. “I wonder if I can add that to my official scientist business cards. ‘Dr. Logan Abbott, Mad Scientist and Butt Extraordinaire.’”

“Bad guys get business cards?” Remus asks, having forgotten altogether about being a distraction. “I’m a pirate. Do I get a business card?”

“Are you a good pirate or a bad pirate?”

“I’m a bad pirate,” he declares, waving his sword in the air. “Roro is a prince-sailor-man, like Prince Eric from Disney, and Janny is an evil kraken we have to team up against! And Dad is a wicked witch who sent the kraken.” 

“A wicked witch, huh?” Mr. Logan says, glancing behind him at where Dad and Patton are. Remus follows his gaze. Dad certainly doesn’t look very wicked, even though he’s wearing a cloak and a hat and scary makeup, but maybe that’s just because he’s smiling, holding hands with Mr. Logan’s kid as Patton babbles on about something. 

It’s hard for his dad to look evil in general, to Remus at least, but especially when he smiles. He’s never found Dad to be very scary, not like he’d been able to spook Roman and Janus every so often, but when he’s smiling, when he’s happy, he just looks like home. 

And Mr. Logan looks so happy, too, looking at his dad, and, well, Roman is the romantic of the house, but Remus has been forced to sit through every one of his brother’s Disney movie watchings, and his favorite movie had always been the Princess Bride (which Dad thinks is too old for Remus and Roman, but lets them watch with him and Janus anyways.) Mr. Logan looks like all the movies, all the descriptions in books, all the stories of love Remus has ever heard. Love-struck, his mind supplies. 

“Yes,” Mr. Logan says, looking back at Remus, that lovey-dovey gaze gone but his eyes still so, so happy, “I think you’d get a business card. What would you put on it?”

He grins, and starts describing his Evil Pirate Captain Remus Caroll cards. Privately, he thinks that, no matter what Janus says, anyone who looks at his dad like that can’t be so bad. 

Plus, Logan’s evil, like him. And he’s okay with being called a butt, which means maybe he’ll teach Remus more, even better insults. 

—

“Aw, beans,” Roman says when he sees Remus happily chatting with the enemy. Janus has stronger language in mind, the kind of words that would get him grounded. 

Sure enough, when Remus returns to them, carrying his candy basket in one hand and his sword in the other, he scuffs his sneaker-clad foot against the ground in a way that Janus knows to mean I’m about to say something you really won’t like. 

“He’s nice,” Remus says defiantly, and Janus scoffs. 

Fine. He has to do everything himself, huh?

If it’s up to him to protect their dad from Logan Abbott, that’s fine. He just has to keep Roman on his side for as long as possible, right?

“So you’re abandoning us?!” he snaps anyways, because despite everything, he’s hurt. He didn’t think Remus, of all people, would turn so quickly. “What about Dad?”

“I think he likes Dad!” Remus protests. “A lot! It’s like all those Disney movies!” 

Roman looks between them, clearly conflicted. Uh-oh, Janus thinks. 

“Hans seemed like he liked Anna a lot!” he answers, hands on his hips. “We’ve got to be Dad’s heroes, right, Roman?”

Roman’s expression solidifies into righteous anger. “We gotta keep Dad safe,” he agrees, reaching out to hold Janus’ hand. Janus, meanwhile, tries to ignore Remus’ hurt expression the best he can.

“Here,” he says, reaching into his bag and digging out a pack of gummy worms. “I know they’re your favorite.” 

Remus’ expression brightens as Janus drops them into his candy basket. “Thanks, Janjan!” he says, beaming.

“Just don’t get in our way,” he says, and turns towards Logan.

“Okay, Roman,” he says. “You know what to do.”

His brother trots forwards, successfully swapping places with Remus, who drops back to go walk with Dad and Patton. Janus comes up on Logan’s other side, pointedly looking at the ground.

“Hello, Roman, Janus,” Logan says. “How is trick-or-treating going?”

“Good!” Roman says, cheery as always, though Janus can see his hands trembling. Janus doesn’t respond. 

“I like your costume,” Logan tells his brother, and sounds almost sincere about it. “You’re a prince, right?”

“A sea-prince!” Roman declares, puffing out his chest. “Thank you, Mr. Logan!” Janus shoots him a glare, and Roman just winks. He blinks, taming his expression slightly. 

Huh. Seems Roman is being much smarter about this than he had thought. 

“Y’know,” Roman says, cheery as ever, “Dad’s told us so much about you, Mr. Logan!”

“Does he?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “What does he tell you, then?” 

“Wellllll,” Roman hums, turning on the puppy-eyes. “I’m not sure you want to know, Mr. Logan.”

“If you don’t want to tell me, that is perfectly fine,” Logan answers, which is both completely against the plan and infuriatingly heartfelt. 

“He says you’re, uh, stupid,” Janus mutters, taking matters into his own hands. 

“Yes!” Roman exclaims. “Very stupid. And, and a big ol’ butt! And a meanie. And insuff-bly rude to your co-workers.”

Janus barely resists to smack a hand to his face — that last bit is stolen word for word from Uncle Remy’s rants to Dad about his boss when he comes over for dinner, and mispronounced at that! — but it seems to have worked, as Logan looks rather shocked.

“Oh, did he?” he asks, seemingly distressed. Yes! “Oh dear. That’s not very kind of him, was it?”

“Nope!” Janus answers, suddenly cheerful. Yes, yes! Now stupid Logan would go away, and Dad would be safe, and there would be no omelets for dinner or anything-

“I’d better go talk to him about it,” Logan says decisively. No, no, NO!

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Roman says, experiencing the same panic, but Logan is already dropping back to walk beside Dad, picking up Patton, who giggles and throws his arms around Logan to hug him. 

“Damn it!” Janus exclaims, stomping in his anger. 

“You cursed!” Roman says in shock, pointing at him. 

“Yes, Roman, I cursed,” he snaps. “That didn’t work at all!” 

Roman looks on the verge of crying, and he instantly regrets it. “Sorry, Ro,” he says, reaching out to take his brother’s hand again. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It was my dumb plan.”

“It wasn’t dumb,” Roman says, sniffling. “Mr. Logan’s the dumb one.”

“Yeah,” Janus agrees, and glances back at his dad and Logan. Dad looks all smitten again, and Logan, disgustingly, looks equally sappy. “We’re not gonna get anything done with them like that. Let’s… let’s just trick or treat with Remus for now, okay? We’ve got this.”

“Okay,” Roman agrees, and pulls Janus back to where their brother is happily munching on a Snickers bar. 

They do end up having fun. And with Patton there, for all the dumb, costume-mistaking kid’s faults, adults are too busy cooing over him to care that Janus and Roman and Remus take a few pieces of candy from the bowls. 

Okay, Janus thinks as they return to the house, time for Plan B. 

—

Roman glares at the villainous intruder seated beside his father on the couch, as he and Remus and Janus trade candy on the floor. He’ll thwart this Logan Abbott’s evil plans! He’s a prince, after all!

“I’m gonna start making dinner,” Dad says, standing up. “I know it’s late, sorry. How does grilled cheese sound?”

“That sounds amazing,” the villain says, smiling like Hans at Anna in the beginning of the movie. “Do you want any help?”

“Just watch the kids for me, please?” Dad asks, and Roman nearly gags as he kisses the Hans-ome Villain on the cheek. Hadn’t Dad learned anything from Frozen?!

“Yeah, of course,” agrees Roman’s nefarious nemesis. Roman narrows his eyes, and checks again to make sure the fireplace is off, and that Mr. Logan — no, Dr. Logan, he’s too evil to be a mister, just look at his lab coat! — is sufficiently blocked off from it. He’s not a snowman, and neither are his brothers, but one could never be too careful! Princes always made sure to have all of their weaknesses defended against!

Janus follows their dad into the kitchen, but not before he glances at Roman and mouths Keep him busy, as he points at their vile adversary. It also could have been Reap the city, but Roman is pretty sure that doesn’t make any sense. 

Remus, the traitor, is playing with Patton. “I’m the tickle zombie!” he declares loudly, sticking out his tongue and making groaning noises, wiggling his fingers at Patton, who squeals in excitement and darts away. “Twickle zomvie!” he yells to his father, who nods gravely. 

“You had best run, Patton,” Mr. Logan tells him. “I hear tickle zombies are ruthless creatures.”

“Tickle zombie,” Remus groans in agreement, and Patton screams again, running towards the kitchen. 

There is silence in the living room for a few minutes after that, until Logan finally says “What’s your favorite kind of candy, Roman?” 

“Like I’d tell you that, you mal-volent maley-factor!” he exclaims, drawing his sword and pointing it at him. “You’d probably poison all the Starbursts!” He quickly realizes his mistake, and does his best to look even fiercer.

“Why would I do that? I like them too, I’ll have you know,” Mr. Logan says, though he looks rather surprised. “How old are you, Roman?”

“...Six,” he says grudgingly, when he can’t figure out how this bad-natured boyfriend of Dad’s would use his age against him. 

“You have a very impressive vocabulary for six, Roman,” the execrable evil-doer tells him, raising an eyebrow.

“Janus and Dad and kindergarten taught me to read,” he says proudly. “And we ran out of books for me, so I’ve been reading the dictionary when we can’t go to the library!”

“That is very impressive,” Mr. Logan repeats. “What’s your favorite book?”

“It’s-” he starts, but then remembers Mr. Logan is the enemy. “None of your beeswax!”

Mr. Logan doesn’t seem as hurt by that as Roman would have expected, and silence reigns over the living room for a few minutes (save for when Patton and Remus come sprinting in and out of it). Roman finally lowers his sword, putting it beside him. 

“I can teach you to use that,” the atrocious antagonist says finally, gesturing to the sword. 

“What?” Roman asks, immediately on the defense. “I can use it fine, Padre’s poisonous partner!” 

“I’m sure you can,” Mr. Logan says, adjusting his glasses, “and a very good insult, by the way, but I took fencing for many years. I can at least give you a few tips, hm?”

“...Fine,” Roman agrees, intrigued despite his best efforts.

Besides, how bad can loathsome Mr. Logan be if he likes Starbursts, anyways?

—

Janus knows he has lost Roman when he comes bounding into the room when Dad says “Dinner!” exclaiming “Dad, can I take fencing?” 

“Logan Abbott,” Dad says, far too affectionate, “have you been teaching my son sword-fighting?”

“Maybe just a bit,” Logan says, not-so-subtly returning the broom to its place near the back door. “Is that… Is that alright?”

“Of course it’s alright,” Dad replies, handing him a plate of grilled cheese, complete with tomato soup. “It’s very sweet of you. This is all he’ll be talking about for months, though, I hope you know that.”

“It’s so cool, Dad!” Roman exclaims, proving his point. Remus is already sitting besides Patton, tearing into his grilled cheese, and Janus feels something cold settle into his stomach. 

“Brothers conference, now,” he declares, standing up and marching towards the living room. He’s gratified to see that the twins still follow him, at least, even if they have been swayed to the side of Logan Abbott. 

“I like him, Jan!” Roman says immediately, eyes wide and pleading. “He’s nice! And Dad likes him, and Remus does too!” 

“And Patton’s great too,” Remus adds, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t wanna be mean to them!”

“What about Dad?” Janus exclaims, desperate. “Remember the last time we liked one of Dad’s dates?” 

He’s referring to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named, who had looked so nice in photos, who Dad had spoken of like an angel, but who had met them with a fixed smile and broken up with Dad only a few weeks later. Remus’ face falls, but Roman’s expression only hardens. 

“Logan’s not like that,” he insists. “We won’t help you anymore, Jan.” 

His brothers leave him alone in the living room, and Janus scowls at the ground. Fine. If they won’t help him, he’ll do it himself. He doesn’t need them anyways!

He ignores the choking feeling in his chest and the burning at the corners of his eyes as he returns to the table. 

Fine. 

—

Patton likes Virgil and his family. 

Remus is funny, and Roman knows all about all the princesses, and Janus, for all his grumpy-wumpies, has the best costume. And Virgil is so nice, and makes the best jokes, too!

Patton is all of four years old, and he, quite honestly, finds himself liking everything and everyone. But he especially likes his Papa’s boyfriend’s family. 

They’re nice. And they make his papa happy, too, and he doesn’t feel scared around them at all. He’s pretty sure Janus could beat up any monsters in his octopus — no, kraken — costume anyways. 

Janus looks sad when he comes back to the table, face all red and angry, and Patton reaches across to pat him on one of his tentacles. “You’re a very good kwaken,” he says.

Janus just stares at him. “...Sure, whatever,” he answers, turning away and taking a huge bite out of his grilled cheese. Patton is impressed, frankly. 

Papa has told him that Virgil being his boyfriend means that he and Virgil are like Nate-from-daycare’s parents, romantic partners. Patton asked if that means if he and Virgil are gonna get married someday, like Nate’s, and his dad’s face turned all red. “Maybe,” he said. 

Patton hopes so. He’d like to have Virgil as his other dad, he thinks. Virgil is nice. And Patton has begged for siblings so many times that getting Janus and Remus and Roman in the bargain is like what his dad says about cool things — bee’s knees. They’re like the bee’s knees!

So, Patton is hopeful. 

He pats Janus’ tentacles once more. Hopefully, his maybe-future-big-brother will feel better soon. 

—

“I just want to stay up for an extra hour, Dad,” Janus says, nearly pleading. “It’s Halloween! Just until Mr. Logan goes home.” 

His dad looks desperately between him and Logan, who is sitting in the living room with Patton in his lap, snoozing against his chest. The twins had fallen asleep halfway through the movie, and Dad is holding Roman in his arms, Remus already tucked in upstairs. 

“It’s alright, Virgil,” Logan says. “It is Halloween, and I’m trapped here anyways.” He gestures to Patton on his lap, and Dad laughs at that. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Thank you so much, L,” Janus’ dad says, obviously relieved. “I’ll be right down, okay?”

“Okay,” Logan nods, returning Dad’s smile with one of his own. 

“You should just go now,” Janus says once his dad is upstairs. “You ruined Halloween. And Dad hates you, and we hate you, so you should just go home!”

“I am aware that you don’t like me, Janus,” Logan tells him softly, far too nice. He’s the kind of wonderful guy that would have Dad making omelets for days afterwards, unbearably sad. “And… I must confess, I do not understand why. Do I truly make you that uncomfortable?” 

“I don’t care about you,” he snaps, sinking back into the couch cushions, refusing to look at Logan, eyes on the credits rolling across the TV screen instead. “But I won’t let you hurt my dad.” 

“Hurt your father?” Logan repeats, eyes wide. “Why on Earth would I do that?”

It is late, and Janus is tired, and he still feels like crying. And so he finds himself spilling it all, from the omelets to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named to his dad’s calls with Uncle Remy. He’s crying, he finds, partway through, and Logan doesn’t reach out to hug him or anything like that, but he listens. He nods, and he asks questions at all the right times, and passes Janus the tissues from the coffee table whenever he needs them. 

“Janus,” Logan Abbott says when he is done, and he looks like he wants to cry, too, “may I promise you something, now?”

Janus nods, too tired to do anything else, and he gets the feeling that if he had shaken his head, Logan would have respected that, would have remained silent. 

“I swear,” Logan says, fiercely passionate, “I have no intention of hurting your father, or your brothers, or you, in any shape or form. If I should do so, I would be a person who does not deserve you, your father, or your brothers in any shape or form anyways, as family or friends or even acquaintances.” He takes a deep breath, and Janus realizes his eyes are glittering with tears when he lifts his hand to wipe them away. “I did not mean to intrude on your family, and if you fear for your father around me, or dislike me that much, it is not my place to remain here. You will always be Virgil’s priority, as you should be, and I would never keep myself in his life if I made his son that unhappy.” 

“Okay,” Janus says, voice small. 

There is silence, after that, and much sniffling, and Janus thinks. 

He thinks about his brothers, who have taken to the Abbotts so quickly. He thinks about Patton who, in the end, isn’t such a bad kid. He thinks about his dad, who seems so happy around Logan, who had asked them to keep an open mind that afternoon, who would be so sad if he had to break up with Logan, even for Janus’ sake, though he’d never say it.

He thinks about Logan, who seems so sincere, and who isn’t really anything like She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named, or any of the others who had made his dad cry, who Janus thinks he could like one day, who could maybe be his dad too. 

“I guess you can stay,” Janus says, watching the TV carefully, and in the reflection, he can just barely see Logan relax. “For now.”

“Thank you, Janus,” he says. 

“If you hurt my dad, though, I’ll kill you myself,” Janus tells him, and means it. 

“I’d deserve it,” Logan answers simply, and for that, more than anything else, Janus starts to like Logan. He doesn’t laugh at the threat, or threaten him back, or even ignore it. 

He takes it seriously. He considers it. And he finds it justified. 

Yes, Janus thinks. With enough time, and maybe a little candy-related bribery (it is Halloween, after all) he could like Logan Abbott. 

—

“I had a lovely time tonight,” Logan says. Patton is in the car, strapped into his carseat with the driver’s door open just in case, still sleeping away, and Virgil has long since put Janus to bed, too. 

It is late. The moon is full overhead, a watchful eye on a quiet world, and it shines down on Logan and Virgil, who linger still in the doorway. 

“I’m glad,” Virgil smiles, though the expression falters quickly. He reaches up to Logan’s cheek, finger brushing at a stray tear track. “Have you been crying?”

“Janus and I had a bit of a heart-to-heart,” he explains, intertwining his own fingers with those of Virgil’s free hand. 

“The boys seemed to like you,” Virgil says, and though he looks no less concerned, he smiles anyways. 

“I liked them too,” Logan laughs, a shy, soft thing. “And Patton adores you, of course. I knew he would.” 

“I’d say I’m amazed they warmed up to you so quickly, but I’m not,” his boyfriend tells him, and grins, truly grins, mischievous and light and so full of love that it makes Logan feel dizzy. “You’re so wonderful, I’m surprised it took even that long.” 

“Flirt,” Logan accuses, but he steps closer anyways. The night is chilly, but he hardly notices next to Virgil Carroll, who seems to exist to provide warmth and light to the universe. “They were very protective of you.”

“Perhaps they have reason to be,” Virgil says thoughtfully, smile widening. “What with you around, standing on my doorstep in the dead of night, not kissing your boyfriend goodbye. That ought to be a crime, I think. Look at me, associating with criminals. You’ve turned me bad already!” 

Logan rolls his eyes but leans down to kiss Virgil anyways, a chaste, sweet thing that still manages to take his breath away. “You are incorrigible.” 

“You love me and you know it,” Virgil tells him. 

“I do,” Logan agrees. “Very much.”

They hug goodbye, and steal one or three or eight more goodbye kisses, and before he knows it Logan is driving away, off into the quiet of the moonlight. 

There is something magical about Halloween, he has always thought. A magic of change, and of tricks, and of trust, too. 

Virgil’s sons like me. A change. 

They attempted to drive me away, but Virgil had warned me ahead of time that might be the case, so I did, admittedly, have the upper hand. A trick. 

Janus, as of now, will let me stay. A trust, the trust of a boy who will do anything to protect his father. 

Above all else, Logan decides, he will not betray that. 

—

There are other Halloweens, of course, and there are other holidays, too. There are presents, and laughter, and the occasional argument, but one that is always resolved by the next day, and Janus receives that candy bribe, as well.

There are still omelet nights. There might always be. But now, instead of calling Uncle Remy, Virgil starts to call Logan, on these nights, seeking comfort when work goes badly or one of his sons is hurt or in the midst of just a truly bad day. And eventually, there will be no need for calls at all, for Logan is there to make toast and offer cuddles and tuck the boys in bed on those rough days, and, after he is supposed to be asleep, Janus will see his dad and a man who is almost, maybe, very close to being his father too, curled up together, offering support and comfort and love. 

Logan has his bad days, too. And so do Janus, and Roman, and Remus, and Patton. But none of them have to face them alone. 

One day, many Halloweens later, Janus will call Logan ‘Papa’ for the first time, sleepily, halfway through Hocus Pocus, and they will both cry, just a little bit. 

#analogical #romantic analogical #familial logicality #platonic loceit #platonic logince #platonic intrulogical #familial virgil + roman + janus + remus #fluff #a tad bit of angst too #cinder writes #halloween #food #food mention #please excuse this barely edited nonsense #ts logan #ts janus #ts remus #ts virgil #ts roman #ts remy #ts patton #logan sanders #janus sanders

[heyheydidjaknow]

Okay, so I am just the worst. I'm very sorry for that. I will make an effort to stop being the worst. I'm already starting writing for the next chapter. It will be out next week. If it is not, please pester me until it is. If nothing else, the next chapter should be relatively interesting, so.

Chapter 15

“So then I was like, ‘Screw you, man, you don’t know me.’ Because he was being a dick.”

You nod, taking another sip from your straw. “So he was.”

“Well,” Casey continues, gesturing with his pizza slice, “that’s why he gave me a black eye on the ice. And now Annie won’t talk to me.”

With a sigh, you reach up, wincing slightly as the muscles in your back crack. “Well,” you smile tiredly, “that does sound like a predicament. Want me to try talking to her?”

“Nah.” He leans against his hand, taking a bite of his food. “It’s whatever. Didn’t like her, anyway.”

You smirk. “Bullshit.”

“Smartass.” He rolls his busted eyes. “How’s your boyfriend?”

“Nonexistent.”

“Bullshit,” he mimics. “Isn’t he all over you?”

“Hardly.” You wave your hand dismissively. “‘Sides, he doesn’t want a relationship, I bet.”

“You slept together.” He swallows. “You slept together and he didn’t make a pass at you.”

“What does that prove?” You take another drink. “Just because he or I want it to happen doesn’t mean that it should.”

“Bullshit,” he sings once more. “You’re just scared of commitment, I bet.”

Your face flushes. “That’s not it!”

“Then why not ask him?”

“Look,” you fumble for an excuse that was not ‘He’s a ninja,’ “he’s really busy, what with his sports and science stuff. I’m lucky he has time for me at all; what we have is fine until things calm down a bit with him.”

“So never.”

“Pretty much.”

Another bite. “If he’s so smart, won’t he be going off to Harvard or some shit? Shoot your shot.”

“Who are you to give me relationship advice?” You push him, placing your hand on the pizza box between you on the bench. “You just fucked up with Johanna.”

“Maybe the reason you two are still virgins is that you’re both smartasses.”

“We’re like fifteen!” You laugh. “What, you’re a lady killer now?”

“Hey, I’ve made my rounds.” He grins. “You know the blond chick? Jenny?”

You stick your tongue out at him. “She is completely out of your league, Jones,” you huff. “Know your place.”

“And she’s in yours?”

“Did I say that?” You take another sip. “No, I did not.”

He sighs. “I’m gonna set you up.”

You blink at this sudden change in subject matter. “Huh?”

“There’s this guy on the team who has a thing for you.” He takes another bite of his pizza. “I promised I’d try.”

“Out of the goodness of your heart?”

“Surprisingly, yes.” He leans back on the bench, head flopping back. “We’ve been buddies for a while.”

Your eyes trace the cracks in the pavement carelessly, weighing your options. “Where?”

“I’m looking for a yes or no.”

You fiddle with your collar. “Which guy?”

“Carter from bio.”

With bright green eyes, long black hair, you can hardly describe him as ugly. A bit pompous, but not irredeemably so. The idea of going on a date with another man-- another human, no less-- is hardly unappealing, especially given the fact that you are almost completely certain that whatever you have going on between yourself and Donatello is going to go exactly nowhere. It would be nice, you know, to go out to lunch or dinner with a pretty boy.

Your gut tells you it is a bad idea. Your gut also told you to go try and check out Shredder’s lair that one time, and now you could not walk.

“I’m down.” Why not? Life is about taking risks that do not result in your lack of motor functions. “You got his number?”

He nods, pulling his phone out of his pocket and texting you the contact. “He’s a good guy,” he promises. “He’s not gonna try shit, probably.”

“You sound certain.”

“Shut up.” He scrolls through his phone. “Who knows, though? Maybe you’ll like him more than your guy and you won’t have to keep pining over him.”

“And there’s the ulterior motive.” You cross your arms, setting the cup on the ground. “If I get stood up, it’s your ass.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He leans his head back forward, picking at his nails absentmindedly. “Whatcha gonna do? Fight me?”

You smirk. “It’s as realistic as you getting with Jennifer Barker.”

“And that’s my cue to leave.” He stands up, wiping his hands on his jeans and taking the box. “I’m taking this.”

“Have at it,” you follow suit, checking the time. “Don’t eat it all at once.”

“I will absolutely ignore your advice.”

“Obviously.” You wave. “See ya tomorrow.”

“See ya.”

The walk home is long, as always, but with every passing day, you get better at walking with one good leg. Having lost it in the dumpster with little more than reassurance that knowing whoever took it needed it more than you do, you have learned a thing or two about balance, and yet you still quietly long for your other leg. ‘It would be nice to be able to run places,’ you muse. ‘It would make me feel better about walking around at this time of night.’ With all the walking you have to do— you still do not have a metro card because you are foolish— you are still relatively strong, but getting places without hobbling and having the option to run away would be nice.

You unlock the door to your apartment. ‘Just a couple more days before I can walk properly again.’ You pull it open, kicking your shoe off.

Someone is sitting on your couch.

You take a shaky step back— ‘I can’t run’—, tripping on your feet and falling on your back in the hallway, your drink spilled on the floor. It is as if your body is struck with lightning, every nerve on edge as you crawl away, voice caught in your throat as you try and get as far away from the door as possible. Your body drags with you.

Too slow.

A hand grabs your ankle. It drags you back into the room with barely a grunt, and with a slam, the door shuts, and you are locked with a figure whose face you cannot see.

The door locks.

The figure lets go of your ankle, heart pounding in your heart as you try and reach for the doorknob, tears pricking your eyes. You can barely use your hands again, progress gone in an instant. ‘Don’t kill me.’ You pray to stop shaking. ‘I can’t die here. Not after everything that’s happened.’

The light clicks on.

“What the fuck is your deal?”

Your eyes snap open. A rush of embarrassment slams into you, a wave of shame making you hot all over as you become painfully aware of the fact that you look absolutely pathetic, clawing at the door.

You pull yourself to your feet shakily, turning back to look at Raphael. “You,” you mumble, opening the door and grabbing your keys from off the floor, not even bothering with the cup, “are the fucking worst.”

“You’re the one that’s all jumpy.” He rolls his eyes, sitting back on the couch. “Who did you think it was?”

You scramble for another answer. “I don't know,” you snap. “If you didn’t know, I’d like to introduce you to the concept of texting someone before you sit ominously on their couch.”

“You’ll live.”

“Barely!”

He sighs. “Sit. We have to talk.”

You toss your keys onto the counter, shakily hobbling over to the kitchen, hands clenched still. “You talk.” Your voice starts to stabilize. “I’m going to have a drink and wish it was alcohol.”

“Do you remember the first month you were here?” He crisscrosses his legs. “A week or so in?”

You lean down, grabbing a drink container. “When Mikey almost got kidnapped? Yeah.”

“Do you remember what you said?”

“Do I remember what I said over two months ago? No, I do not.” You set it on the counter, reaching into the cabinet and pulling a plastic cup down. You consider a glass one but did not want to clean glass shards off of your floor again.

“Then let me remind you.” He leans back into your couch. “You said, and I quote, that Shredder doesn’t get close to murdering Master Splinter until season two, whatever that means.”

You nod, setting your hands on the counter until they stop shaking. “What about it?”

“Shredder gets close to killing my father.”

You sigh, dreading the ensuing conversation. “Look,” you reason, “it probably won’t get to that if we’re smart.”

“The first word I think of when I think about our group is not smart.”

“It’s one guy.” You lean against your hand. “So long as he doesn’t pull a Leo and martyrs himself—“

He cuts you off. “What does martyr mean?”

“If he doesn’t throw himself in harm's way for the sake of the greater good—“

“So my Leo throws himself in harm’s way?”

“Have you met your brother?” You try and grab your cup. “Of course he does.”

His eyes widen. “So you’re telling me my brother dies too?”

“I did not say that.”

“But you—“

“The point,” you snap, “is that so long as your father values his own safety, he will be fine. There are preventative measures that we can take to make sure he doesn’t kick the bucket, so for now, worry about how you’re going to survive.”

He gets up. “How does he go the first time?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Why?” He stands in front of you, staring you down. “Why won’t you?”

“Because you’ll kill yourself over it.” You pick up your cup, taking a sip. “If I told you what happened in the future, you’d pull something to try and defy that, right? Then we wouldn’t even know what it was anymore, and our one tactical advantage would be shot."

“But—“

“I only tell you,” you cut him off, “about certain things so you can prepare to face them, not to try and avoid them. There are very few exceptions to that rule.” You set the cup back down, staring back. “There are things we can do to prevent things from happening, but not right now. Right now, our top priority is to make sure the Kraang don’t kill us all.”

“How come you get to know stuff we don’t?”

“Because.”

He throws his hands up. “Oh, well if that’s the reason—“

“Do you have anything else you wanna say or are you planning on just being up my ass?”

He closes his eyes, hands together as he takes a slow, deep breath. “Yes, actually.”

“What?”

“Karai approached us today when we went to check our Donnie’s stupid signal thing.” He opens them again. “She wants to team up.”

“Cool.” Your voice softens. “That’s good.”

He leans against the counter. “Can we trust her?”

You take another drink. “Trust is a strong word right now,” you sigh. “Aligning with her is a good idea, though. Just trust her as far as you can throw her.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well,” you shrug, “you can trust her to get you things and give you access to stuff. Just keep your guard up is all. Be diplomatic about it and you’ll be fine.”

He nods. “Cool.” He smiles. “Donnie’s been very anti-Karai so far.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “No idea why?”

You shake your head. “Thought he’d like having a kunoichi on his side.”

“You’d think.”

“Well, he’s gotta get over it some time.” You take another drink. “Preferably sooner than later, though. Fucking with Karai…” you shudder. “She’s incredibly powerful. If we can stay on her good side, it would make our lives easier.”

“Ours, you mean.”

“I have a stake in this too, you know.”

He scoffs. “How?”

“We’re on the same planet.” You reach down, fixing your pants over your cast. “Plus, I’m a target of the foot by association.”

“You aren’t fighting with us.”

“Would you rather I did?” You look back up at him. “Because when I do it seems it’s in the wrong way.”

“It would be helpful if you weren’t useless.”

“But I am, so it isn’t.”

“I guess.”

You stand back up straight. “Is that all?”

“Nope.” He walks back to the couch, sitting down. “I’m staying here a bit. Leo’s being an ass.”

“How so?”

“Same way as per usual.” He leans back into the couch. “Thinks he’s better than everyone.”

“And you don't have a better place to hang?”

He shrugs. “My brother likes you well enough. Besides, I want to know the person who’s making all of these big decisions in my life.”

“So it’s because you don’t like me?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

You take another sip from your drink. “That sounds paradoxical.”

“So?”

“So,” you lean your head against your hand, “why would you want to talk to me if you don’t like me?”

“Because your brother likes you,” he repeated. “If you’re going to be hanging around a ton I might as well try to like you.”

You smile. “That is incredibly mature of you, Hamato.”

A scoff. “You can’t call us all Hamato.”

“Watch me.” You hum, taking another sip from your drink. “Can I get you anything, by the way?”

“I’m good.”

“Suit yourself.” You reach into your bag— luckily, nothing has fallen out— and pull out your phone. “I just need you out by eleven-thirty. It’s a school night.”

“Even without being involved in our fights,” he shakes his head, “you are a total pussy.”

“Suck me.” You grab it off the counter, carefully carrying your cup to your bed. “And keep the noise down. “My neighbors have been pleasant and I want it to stay that way.”

“Buzzkill. You clearly don’t spend enough time with Mikey.”

“You know,” you grin, pulling out your notes as you sit down, “your brother says the opposite. Donnie, I mean.”

“I figured.”

You glance over at the window as he fiddles with the remote. “How did you get in?”

“The window.”

“No shit.” You look back over at him. “Red button, but I lock the window."

“No, you didn’t.” He clicks the button. “It was unlocked when I got here.”

“Huh.” Another stream of electricity flows through your veins. ‘They know where I live.’ You swallow.

“Must’ve forgotten.”

You did not. You would not forget. There was no way you could have, or would have, forgotten to do something like that.

“Must’ve.”

Table of Contents

Chapter 14

Chapter 16

#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt x reader #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt donatello #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #donnie x reader #2012 donnie #donnie #donatello x reader #donatello hamato #donatello #pizza #soft drink #casey jones #raphael

[whoistheasshole]

How do I get out of this unsatisfying life I’m living?

Anonymous asks: So the thing is that I feel incredibly stuck - I have all the basics of life which I'm grateful for but also that was my BIG dream as a kid, to get tf out of my parents' house - but now I have that and idk what to do for the rest of my life. Like, if I try those "visualize your future" things I'm just like, "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer" & it feels like I don't really WANT anything so I can't plan, you know? Just flailing here honestly. Pretty tired of it.

I wrote back: I got your question. To pinpoint my answer a little better, can you tell me about your current situation, like how long has it been since you moved out? Which are the things you have in order to your satisfaction? Some vague idea of your age range would also be helpful, but I can work without it too if you’d rather not share.

Anonymous answered: Ah, sorry. I was trying to fit in the character limit & also whenever I think about this my mind just goes flbbbbth. It's been about 5 years? That's about the only thing I'm truly HAPPY about, I'm not thrilled with my social/love life, career, etc & have pretty much been just coasting tbh. I'm almost 30. Thanks for entertaining this.

Alright, thanks for adding some background. I will come at this from different angles and you can pretty much pick and choose what sounds helpful and leave the rest, okay?

First, while there are people who have it all figured out, methodically planning their next career step or fully certain that there is no greater joy than raising a child, there are tons of other people who just, to quote, go „ flbbbbth“ when asked about their next steps or, god forbid, their life plan. I would say I fall in the latter camp, but I don’t mind because I think there is nothing wrong with that. I let myself be guided by the things I need to be happy (more on that later) and by current necessities – if my job becomes shit, I need to find a new job. If a friendship goes sour, I need to end it respectfully. But I couldn’t tell you specific career or personal goals, except...

... let’s talk about the „later“ now.

I’m an organizer, maybe even a worrier, and therefore I like lists. And for that reason I made a list a while ago that I still have and expect to keep for a long time. It is a list of everything that I need to be satisfied with my life. It consists of 29 entries and has three of them checked, though several others could be counted as half-checked. I wrote down everything that came to mind, paying no attention whether it was reasonable or feasible to want. That wasn’t the question.

It covers stuff like a clean flat (not checked), restful sleep (not checked), friends that I see regularly (checked) or a job with purpose (not checked). This list is my guide. Well, generally my needs are my guide, but it can be hard to be aware of your needs sometimes, so I got this list. And if I wonder what I need or want to focus on, I can turn to it and choose one of the entries and see what I can do about it. I can also look over the list every few years and see if things have developed in the right direction. Little progress is no reason to chastise myself, but helpful information to see whether I need to re-direct my focus.

Please note that I wrote „satisfied“, not „happy“. Being happy is a passing emotional state. It is completely normal and okay not to be happy all the time. But quiet satisfaction with where you are or where you are going, that is pretty achievable. It certainly is a process, but an enjoyable one.

This list is not a race and it is not really a to-do list because most of the things I wrote down aren’t easy to accomplish with a single action. They take months and years and, for some items, I can only try and hope it works out some day (see anybody who ever purposely looked for a partner).

So maybe this kind of list could be an exercise for you. Maybe it provides you with some insight, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s not the right point in your life. But if you sit down and the only thing you can come up with is „cry forever“ or „sleep forever“ then, you know, that’s a sign.

Which brings me to my next point: Journaling or automatic writing. This method is especially helpful for those „I feel some kind of way and I couldn’t even tell you how“ moments – so maybe exactly where you are right now. Captain Akward has introduced me to a website called „750 words“ and I’ve used the principle of „morning pages“, though not the website, since then whenever I felt like some emotions were starting to boil over.

I sit down, ideally in the morning, and just barf it all on the (digital) page. There are only two rules: 1) Don’t edit or judge yourself, write everything as it comes to mind (that’s the automatic writing part) and 2) Don’t stop before you’ve reached 750 words. You are not looking to write anything readable or clever or lyrical, you’re looking to get all the weirdness out so you can move on. Repeat this as many days as you feel queasy or weird or confused or angry or sad. Each day, as soon as you’ve reached the 750 words, you can walk away. Heck, you could even delete/burn the document if that feels right. It’s just about giving your thoughts the room they need so you can continue with your day, hopefully feeling somewhat relieved.

While we’re at writing, I also have a question for you: Where is the pressure coming from to „do something with your life“? Is it truly coming from inside you or are there outside factors? Are people in your life asking you when you’ll have kids? Do you live in a culture where it’s expected that everybody does something of note, works certain prestigious jobs? Do you compare yourself to the people around you and feel like you’re „late“?

Maybe mull this over on a leisurely walk or write about it, using the method above. No matter where it’s coming from, the feeling of pressure won’t go away just by knowing its origin, but the knowledge can help you keep it under control. And if you find it is truly your own wish, you will have tools to shape your life according to your needs.

So, next, sleep: Maybe do that?

You wrote "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer". I understand this was half a joke, but also … it was probably more than a joke.

How are your energy levels? How does life feel? Are you trying to jog through jello most of these days?

If we’ve been overachievers or had a tough home life or needed to take care of ourselves pretty early, we can become accustomed to everything being difficult. This feeling and behavior can become a way of life, even when circumstances change and we have a chance to act differently.

Do you feel rested? Do you have regular moments of quiet in your life that let you breathe? If not, this is where I would start. Forget about lists, though morning pages might be a helpful accompanying tool (if they don’t become a task to punish yourself with if you don’t find the energy).

Take some weeks or months, maybe even a year to make rest your priority. You will have to find a way that works for you. Yes there is a lot of clinically proven stuff out there, but you will not see me do yoga or meditate. Though feel free if that’s up your alley. If you love cycling or taking photos or drawing or just plain lying on your bed and staring at the wall, see where you can add more of that to your day. Whatever brings you closer to yourself and makes you feel like you can exhale and stand still for a moment, that’s the way to go. Do this as long as sleeping seems like a fine choice. And for good measure maybe a month longer. You are ready to stop when you cannot wait to do something else goddamnit I’m bored!!! (you might say)

If you are in this picture, please start here. Any kind of life plan, next steps, strategizing, solving of riddles would set you back and perpetuate your exhaustion. Rest is not time wasted, rest is how you get your life back.

If you are in this picture, you will likely find that if you really pull through, if you truly rest, as long and boring or even scary as it may be, the other questions will probably have an intuitive answer afterwards. Not like „this is my 20-year career plan“, but „I feel like doing x this week“. And that is enough. Because you won’t need to strain to hear your needs through the fog of exhaustion anymore.

Finally, some practical information and links for when you do have the energy and inclination to tackle your job and social life. I am not saying you need to change anything if that’s not what you want to focus on. These are just some tips, in case they become relevant.

For your social life, I recommend what others have recommended before me: Pick an activity that you do with other people and stick with it long enough to become a familiar face, see also here and here (yes, meeting gay people is similar to meeting other people). If you try out new stuff, go there at least 5 or 6 times before you decide it’s not for you – of course assuming nothing bad is coming up like racist or abusive people in the group. Shop around if the first group/activity doesn’t work for you until you find something that you’d like to do permanently. Maybe you’ll gain some friends, maybe you’ll find a romantic opportunity. In any case, if it’s something fun that you like to do anyway, you will have found an outlet with a social group attached. It is absolutely not as easy right now, with Covid and all, but if nothing outdoors-y comes to mind, you could also use this time to brainstorm what sounds like fun for when things are safer again.

Of course you can also look at opportunities online, like Discord servers, online interest groups etc but I do understand if that’s just not appealing right now. I am certainly over sitting in front of a screen.

To round this up, don’t sneeze at contacts that you already have. Are there acquaintances, friends of friends, colleagues, family members who you would like to get to know better? Then go do that! Suggest a time and place to meet up and see how they react. Say yes to the potential friends.

Speaking of which...

The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes might also be interesting. Sure, it’s a little pop culture positive thinking kinda stuff, but I did like the impulse it gave me to consider when I say no to opportunities out of anxiety or worry. It made me accept some social invitations from colleagues (… in the before times) that I would not have otherwise considered. I did not gain life-long friends, but I did learn another valuable info: That my FOMO wasn’t justified for these events ;)

It also lead me to the decision to do one new thing every month – visit a new place or try a new activity or cook a new food. If the concept sounds appealing, just think about what sounds interesting and achievable to you.

And finally, the advice blog recommendations that I’ll always have. For social life, love life, and general life planning turmoil: Captain Awkward. For everything job-related, including how to write a good cover letter or interview well and, of course, how to get out of the dreaded current job you have: Ask A Manager.

To sum it up:

1) Figure out if you even have the energy to tackle any of this right now.

2) Figure out your pillars for a satisfying life – nothing big and shiny, just … basic needs, wishes, social needs.

3) When you feel like it, pick what you want to tackle next and see where it leads you.

4) Stay flexible. This is your life and it’s okay to go where it takes you, even if it doesn’t look „cool“ or „impressive“ from the outside. All you need is to make it your own.

And if you want to, let me know how it goes some time. :)

#post #questions #advice #WHO IS THE ASSHOLE #life advice #rest #recovery

[vivithefolle]

I'm a bit confused. You said in one post that you thoroughly dislike Hermione and that you had no respect for her at all. Yet ... you like Romione? idk, it seems contradictory tbh. I like when Romione shippers acknowledge her flaws and messed up moments but when someone that dislike and even hate her character that much ships Romione and I see them posting about them and calling them "cute" just seems weird

I’ll share with you my whole thought process so you can understand where I’m coming from:

Itty-bitty Vivi who read Harry Potter for the first time (at 13/14, so not so itty-bitty I guess, oops): Woaaah Hermione and Ron yaay!!! They're awesome I love them! They're my OTP always and forever!! Best thing to happen in Harry Potter!! JKR is a genius!

Slightly less itty-bitty Vivi discovering the Harry Potter fandom online (thankfully years after the ship wars, else I probably wouldn't have survived): Why is there so much hate towards Ron? And why are people so opposed to Romione?? It was meant to be since the first book! Or, okay, the second book is when I realized it was gonna happen, but still! Oh well, here is a fic where Hermione berates Ron for everything and he is the only one actually working for their relationship. Cool, more Romione!

Even less itty-bitty Vivi starting her own Tumblr and going around, adding her grain of salt to debates and talking about stuff: Yeah! Ron is great! He's done bad things of course but Hermione has done her fair share of bad things too! Actually, now that I'm rereading the books, I'm reminded of this person I used to call a friend, who was quite smart and cultured but would often be very harsh to me because they claimed it was “for your own good" and “because I'm more mature than you"… I still wanted to be around them, because they were just so smart and passionate, but we often rowed and eventually they really just went too far and tried to make ME out to be the bad guy and most people believed them because they had a reputation as someone cool and logical while I was known for being emotional… wait, what the fuck, that's… that's exactly what happens in the fandom with Ron and Hermione! What the fuck, was I Ron? Admired their intelligence, praised and supported them, fell in love even but was met with scorn and open disdain?!… no, no, come on. Hermione wasn't that bad.

Vivi rereading Half-Blood Prince (and no, this wasn't about the canaries, but about what Hermione was doing after): Oh my god she was that bad.

Vivi as she ponders alternately: Wait, what about JK Rowling? What does she think about all that? What was her intention, what did she want to accomplish with the characters? I know books belong to their readers but if I want as objective an analysis as possible I must try to understand her thought process while she wrote.

Vivi learning about a staple of British literature called “literary alchemy”: The quarreling couple!! Sulfur and Mercury, the Red King and the White Queen, who must marry for the story to end happily!! And their union is represented by… a rose!! Oh my god, that is brilliant, that is so cool! Romione was ALWAYS going to happen, I knew it! Ha!

Vivi discovering the “[Ron] needed to make himself worthy of Hermione” quote: Wha… but… what? Worthy? As if Hermione was some sort of precious trophy or whatever? What the hell? Wait, Ron had to make himself worthy of her but Hermione didn't have to make herself worthy of him? Is it because Ron is the boy or some shit like that??

Vivi going through JK Rowling's interviews and finding sexism and double-standards galore: Yep, it's because he's the boy. And that bit about Hermione being based off herself when she was younger… ouch. And to top it off the scriptwriter pretty much worshipped Hermione…

Vivi rereading the books again: Is it just me, or does Ron hardly ever get any praise or acknowledgement from the adult characters? Meanwhile Harry and Hermione get stuff like “as good as Charlie Weasley" or “brightest witch of her age"! And, damn, I used to side with Hermione because I love cats, but she was completely awful in POA! She apologized but then the plot made her out to be right even then?? And I always thought her Yule Ball entrance was kinda over-the-top, but damn if that's not compensating for something! Also what the hell, I get that Harry is suffering and all but will someone PLEASE pay attention to the fact that Ron is being bullied BY A FOURTH OF THE STUDENT BODY AND NOBODY SEEMS EVEN REMOTELY CONCERNED????? Also what the hell is wrong with the sixth book, I never liked it much but it's like it's trying to make every character look bad, wtf?? And, and, holy shit I never noticed but Ron was asking legit questions during the Horcrux Hunt debate but Harry kept deflecting or mocking him but it's still Ron who had to apologize in the end??? And I've read a whole post about how Hermione punching Ron is the appropriate reaction for a very small child and not a supposedly “mature" character, and that Harry had to SHIELD RON FROM HER, oh my god?? It's… oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with JK Rowling?

Vivi, in denial: Well, Harry Potter is decidedly not a romance. It's about love, but romantic love is quite far down the priority list when it comes to it. JKR has herself confessed that she wasn't too good at writing romance, and I don't blame her because writing romance is hard. But I did enjoy Romione! When I was little I saw it coming from a mile away, granted I was already savvy in literature but that must have been because she was doing something right! And then the sixth book happened… the sixth book which… which was released after the Harry Potter movies were being filmed, wasn't it?

Vivi looking up the timelines: Oh my god. Oh my god it's even worse, the movies were being discussed before Goblet of Fire came out. Come to think of it, I always found that the Trio felt… different, after Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry and Ron especially felt like they had gotten dumber? And Hermione was suddenly explaining everything when exposition used to be split between her and Ron…

Vivi, in mourning: So that's what happened. Ron ended up being shortchanged to make Hermione look better, because Rowling was fonder of Hermione than she was of Ron, and the scriptwriter too come to think of it. Curse you, Steve Kloves!!!

Vivi, who is nothing if not what Pokémon fans call a nostalgiafag: But… but… yeah, it sucks that Ron was shortchanged, and actually yeah it's a freaking travesty and I WILL freaking spread the world about this, mark my words, but, but I still… I can't help it, when Hermione “looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt" I melt too. When Ron compliments Hermione or tries to take care of her as much as he can I… it still does something to me, I still find myself rooting for them even if I know there's the awful sixth book and the stupid post-Locket beatdown. Their kiss, for God's sake, I've just realized that Ron may have swept Hermione off her feet physically, but it's Hermione who jumped him, you could say Hermione metaphorically swept Ron off his feet!! God damn it, that's good, that's so good!

Vivi, at war with herself: No, I can't let myself be blinded by nostalgia!! The facts are that Hermione shows borderline abusive - even actually abusive - behaviour, this can't be denied! I don't want to root for an abusive relationship! I don't want to root for a relationship that relies on my favourite character being dumbed down to work!!!

Vivi, about to uncover the secrets of the universe: … wait a second. I don't have to.

Vivi, having an epiphany: Reading Solstice Muse's Romione fanfics gives me such happiness because she just gets the characters! She doesn't portray Hermione as perfect and never fucking up, and she always treats what happens to Ron with respect… Well, especially since she can't play them off as a joke since she often makes Ron the POV character. But, yeah! I can still like Romione… if it's well-written. Which, well, isn't the case in the original books… at least, isn't the case anymore after Rowling's bias got the best of her. Even though they do have their great moments.

Vivi, finding purpose in her life: I am going to spread awareness. I am going to tell the world. Fuck, just rereading the books, I've noticed how blatant the favouritism is and how unbalanced it can be. No wonder the fandom seems to collectively scoff at Ron - the books themselves do whenever it's convenient for them! The fandom plays favourites, because the author herself played favourites, and the worst part is that she didn't even realize it! Imagine you spend your life getting into traumatic situations out of love for your friends who always receive compassion and validation for their feelings about said traumas, but YOUR trauma is hardly touched upon and in the rare case it is, it's only to be mocked or used against you… Fuck! You're a piece of work, JKR! And the fandom just swallows it whole like a bunch of lobotomized snakes! Screw it! Screw it, I'm going to say it like it is, and I'm going to say it LOUDLY! People are going to hear about what Ron goes through and we'll see if Harry and Hermione look like the only ones worthy of therapy then!!

Present day Vivi, as she scrolls through the (heavily filtered) Romione tag on AO3: Ugh, another Drarry… and another… and another… oh, a Hinny-centric fic for a change, cool but I'm looking for more Romione than that, sorry. Gah, why is it that Romione appears as a secondary ship everywhere but they can't get their own stories? I've just seen a Snupin come up for God's sake! Oh, finally, a full Romione!! *clicks* … … … awww that was so sweet. Kudos! Okay back to the search… oh, another one!! *clicks* … … … it's Ron-bashing. It's Ron-bashing and it's not tagged Ron-bashing and that's why it showed up in my search AND I'M GOING TO FREAKING RIOT-

#vivi answers #ask #romione #ron weasley #hermione granger #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #ron x hermione #harry potter series #anti jk rowling

[notfunnydean]

Jingle Bells

Pairing: Dean Winchester / Castiel Warnings: spoiler s15, post season 15 Word Count: 2.638 Challenge: For the @destielsecretsanta2020​  Summary: Dean doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas. He misses Castiel, but maybe he can pull pranks on their guests to cheer himself up? Sadly that backfires. Or, well, good that it does. Link (if posted on AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/28314183

This is for @endgamecasdean​  ❤️️ I really hope you enjoy this! It was a lot of fun to write it x 

______________________________________________________________

“Really Dean?” Sam asks and he sounds so annoyed. Dean can’t help but chuckle to himself, because everyone knows he kinda loves to annoy his little brother, even on christmas! 

“Hey, you wanted this to be a ‘real christmas’ - whatever that means.” Dean says and he even does the air quotes, just like Castiel. Dean really hopes he doesn’t blush.

“Of course, I mean we’re finally free and Dean as much as I liked our Christmases just between us two, but don’t you think we deserve a little bit more?” Sam asks and Dean swallows around nothing.

“Yeah… I mean sure, you do deserve a nice Christmas. I just think it’s a bit much?” Dean says and he shrugs a bit. Of course he wants Sam to be happy and he knows that Sam is happy most of these days.

“If you do need a break, you could always excuse yourself, but it’s just our family.” Sam says and Dean knows he’s right.

They planned this christmas party in the bunker a few weeks ago and Sam had invited all their friends and family. Dean loves them and he knows that a few of them really enjoy christmas, he wouldn’t want to destroy that.

“It’s all good. I got the food ready too and I’m sure the first ones will be here in like 5 minutes.” Dean says and he nods over to the huge table in their library. He had cooked so much all day.

“Which is why I asked you in the first place. Really mistletoes?” Sam says and he points at the one, Dean just hung up. Dean grins.

“Well christmas traditions and all that.” Dean says and Sam shakes his head, but he is grinning himself. Honestly Dean wasn’t even hoping for some kiss himself, but he knows there are a few people he’d like to make happy.

“Don’t think anyone will fall for that, but please if you’re having so much fun.” Sam says and he shakes his head again, because Dean put five mistletoes up in total and he has his phone ready to take some pictures.

“Ha we’ll see.” Dean says and gets down the ladder, just as it rings at their door. Dean rubs his hands and looks after the food, as Sam opens the door. He can hear Claire already and Dean smiles.

Sam was right, he had missed his family and while he didn’t really need Christmas, he’s glad to see them again.

“Where’s my boy?” Jody asks, when she walks into the library and Dean hastily opens his arms. Jody hugs him tight.

“I missed you.” Dean says quietly and he knows with Jody he can talk about things like that. She always understands him. Jody smiles softly.

“I’m so glad you’re all okay.” Jody says and Dean can’t put his own feelings into words. He’s proud of Jack for being their new god and he knows Jack will do a fantastic job. Even… he even got Castiel back.

Not that the angel showed his face to them since then. Dean’s heart aches and he pushes the thought aside.

“Dean!” Claire is next and Dean smiles at the sight of her. She’s holding Kaia’s hand and Dean is happy that at least some people seem to have found their luck. They all know how much Claire deserves it.

“Hey girls. Where’s Alex?” Dean asks, as he hugs them both. Even Kaia seems happy to see him and now Dean understands why Sam insisted on inviting them all. Dean could use a bit of happiness and love himself.

“Still at the door with Sam.” Claire answers and Dean sees her walking down the stairs with Donna. He can’t help but smile. Sometimes he’d forget about how many friends he actually has.

As a kid Dean only had Sammy and while as a little brother, he’s still his priority, Dean had gotten himself a bigger family. Not blood, but so much more. Dean was so sure he’d never have that and now here he stands.

A while later Charlie and her girlfriend Stevie arrive. Even Bobby greets them both with a huge hug and while they’re the apocalypse versions, Dean had really locked them into his heart.

“Eileen!” Sam says loudly and Dean smiles softly, when he sees how Sam carefully kisses her on the forehead. He had said it before, Eileen is perfect for Sam. She’s just plain amazing and so badass.

Dean steals her for just a second to give her a hug as well. Seems like everyone is here already. 

Dean is glad that they have so many friends, but at the same time, Dean knows they’ve lost so many of their friends. He hopes they’re okay in heaven.

“Hey Dean, did your plan work so far?” Sam asks a while later, after they had all finished eating. Dean shakes his head, a bit grumpy, but everyone seems to avoid his mistletoes.

At least everyone had loved his food and Jody had complimented him twice. Dean had kissed her cheek in thanks without a mistletoe. 

“Seems like you’re all just very shy or cowards.” Dean says and he is louder on purpose so they all can hear him. He can’t believe nobody fell for his tricks.

“You wish.” Eileen says and then she waves Sam towards her. Sam rolls his eyes, but he does walk over to Eileen and kisses her under the biggest mistletoe Dean could find. Dean hastily takes his phone and almost lets it fall to the ground.

“Go get her!” Claire cheers loudly and Sam kisses Eileen. Everybody in the room cheers and Dean can see how embarrassed his little brother is. Because Eileen pressed him against the doorway.

“See, easy.” Eileen says, when she breaks the kiss and everyone starts laughing. Dean is sure he could use the pictures for their wedding sometime. 

Eileen takes a beer and then comes over to Dean. He expects her to want him to delete his pictures or at least see them, but she smiles wickedly.

“So who’s a coward now?” Eileen asks and Charlie next to them coughs laughing. Dean promptly blushes and then shrugs.

“Not like there's anyone I could kiss.” Dean answers, but it doesn’t sound convincing. He’s right, around him are only people who he sees as his kids, siblings or parental figures.

Just then the door opens again and Dean smiles, when he sees Jack.

“Jack you made it!” Sam is the first to walk towards him. Carefully so he doesn’t get under a mistletoe with Jack. The kid looks good, not even the tiniest bit exhausted, but as a god, you probably feel fine all the time.

“Hello!” Jack says and he holds up his hand, just like he always does. Dean had known that Sam had tried to reach him, but Jack hadn’t answered so far.

“Man we missed you!” Claire says and she boxes against her shoulder. Dean snorts, because here Jack is just another piece of their family and not god. He belongs to them. Jack seems relieved.

“Sorry, I hadn’t realized it was Christmas already, being god is kind of a lot of work.” Jack says and he hugs Bobby next. Dean knows Bobby had also taken the kid in. 

“It’s okay, we’re glad you’re here.” Dean says and then he has to hug his kid, too. God (haha) he had really missed him. Dean feels how he finally seems to calm down. He’s happy. He has his family, he’s alive and he doesn’t have to worry about another apocalypse.

He relaxes.

“I even bought you presents. Well at least one.” Jack says and just as Dean wants to open his mouth to say they all agreed on not bringing presents (each family member broke that rule though), he stops.

There on the balcony is… is Cas.

Dean tears up without wanting to. The last time he had seen Castiel was, when he had died and Dean… Dean tries each day very hard not to think about that moment.

“Cas.” Dean whispers and it’s suddenly quiet around him. Castiel’s head snaps to him and they stare at each other. Just like they did all the time. 

“Hello Dean.” Castiel says and there is a small smile on his face. Dean can’t wait anymore, he has to go up there. Just like with the fake call Dean runs up the stairs. He knows it’s not a joke this time.

Castiel seems surprised but also so nervous. Dean doesn’t care, he finally has him back, so he hugs Castiel and hides his face against his neck. He doesn’t dare to look up, because he knows everyone will look so smug.

“Dean.” Castiel says and he sounds so breathless. Dean doesn’t answer, he just presses even more into Castiel and to his own horror, is he tearing up. Castiel finally hugs him back, like he’s something precious.

I love you.

Dean can still hear how he had said those words and he hopes he will hear them so many more times. He wants to say them himself, but maybe it’s not the right moment.

“I’ve missed you, Cas.” Dean whispers, because he could say it to Jody and everyone. He should be able to say it to Castiel as well. Castiel’s breath hitches at that, but he doesn’t let go.

“I’m glad to be here as well, Dean.” Castiel says and he still sounds so uncomfortable, Dean isn’t sure why. He breaks the hug and of course that’s when everyone else wants to say hello to the angel.

Dean takes a few steps back and then walks back down to the beer he had left on the table. He’s a damn coward, Eileen was right.

“You like him, huh?” Charlie says and Dean nods. No need to deny it, Charlie from his world had known it the first second they had met back then.

“He’s like… perfect.” Dean says, even though he knows Castiel has made mistakes, they all had and Dean is good at forgiving and nobody had deserved that more than Castiel.

“Then what is stopping you?” Charlie asks and Dean isn’t even sure what stops him. Maybe it’s because he still feels like he doesn’t deserve Castiel’s friendship, then why should he deserve his love?

“Dunno.” Dean mumbles and just then Bobby waves him over. Dean sighs in relief and just as he walks towards Bobby, does he realize the old man wants to trick him. Castiel is talking to Jody, and he’s under one of the mistletoes.

Dammit seems like his plans are now backfiring. Dean winks at Bobby and then walks over to Sam instead.

If… if Castiel still wanted him, he’d… he’d come to Dean and tell him, right? Or maybe it was Dean’s turn.

“Dean? Do we still have some of your sugar cookies for Jack?” Sam asks and Dean snorts, when he sees that Jack already has a whole plate of cookies, but happily stuffs them in his face. 

Luckily Dean had made like a dozen too many and they’re still in the kitchen.

“Sure give me like a minute.” Dean says and turns around to walk to the kitchen. Just of course under that doorway is Castiel now talking to Eileen. He signs something to her and Dean’s heart melts.

He’s had it bad.

Just then Eileen laughs and nods, before she walks over to the other girls, who are opening another bottle of eggnog. Dean stands there like an idiot. Castiel is still under the damn mistletoe.

“Why don’t you go over to him?” Jack asks and he doesn’t sound like he wants to force Dean to go over there, but is genuinely interested in the question.

“What if… he doesn’t want to have me next to him?” Dean asks and then Castiel looks over to him. He’s still so nervous and Dean’s heart squeezes.

“Dean, just go.” Sam says and Dean nods more to himself. He walks over to Castiel and wipes his hands on his jeans. He hopes not everyone is looking at them right now, but knowing the idiots they are.

Who would’ve thought that Dean’s prank turned on himself. But he wants to kiss Castiel, he really wants it.

“Cas.” Dean says when he is with him. “Dean - I just wanted to talk to you about the day… the day the empty came, I know what I said and…” Castiel starts to babble and Dean had never seen him like that. He shakes his head.

“Cas, I know what you said and it made me the happiest man on earth.” Dean says and he goes for a smile, even though his lips are shaking. Seems like he’s just as nervous.

Castiel tilts his head.

“I feel the same about you, I was just too stunned because I thought we would both die and then you said that and I… Castiel I’m in love with you. You changed me for the better, you are everything I want.” 

Dean smiles again, because now he understands why Castiel had been so happy, when he said it. Dean is relieved and it feels good, he had known a lot had waited years to come out.

“Oh Dean.” Castiel says and Dean isn’t sure what to do now. 

“Kiss, kiss, kiss!” Everybody else yells and Dean is pretty sure there is a blush spreading over his whole body. His face heats up and even Castiel looks so shy.

Dean winks at Castiel and then points up at the mistletoe.

“I guess… this is when we kiss?” Dean asks and he blinks up at Castiel through his eyelashes, even though he is a tiny bit taller than the angel.

Castiel doesn’t answer but he holds out his hands. Dean takes a step closer and takes his hands. They touched so many times before, but this time it feels so different. Dean had always loved Castiel’s hands but now he can finally interlace his own fingers with Castiel’s. 

“You sure?” Castiel asks and Dean nods before he has even finished the question.

“Never been this sure.” Dean says and he winks badly. Castiel smiles and then he is closing his eyes, face coming closer. Dean closes his eyes himself and waits for Castiel.

And then, fuck, then Castiel is kissing him like he means it and Dean melts in his arms. Castiel’s hands find Dean’s cheeks and he kisses him softly, but still with so much heat behind it, that Dean gasps quietly.

Dean doesn’t even hear the other around them clapping. He is just focused on the kiss. Castiel suddenly smiles against his lips and Dean does too. They break the kiss like that, both widely grinning.

“Fucking finally!” Bobby says and Dean laughs, because Bobby isn’t even with them for a long time and even he had seen it. Of course.

“I love you.” Castiel says again and this time Dean is ready and they’re safe, so he finally tells Castiel what he already wanted back then when the Empty came.

“I love you too.”

Castiel’s smile is breathtaking and Dean has to kiss him for a second agan. This time he hears someone’s phone taking a picture, but he doesn’t care.

“I love you so much.” Dean says again. 

*

Weeks later Dean’s life had changed a lot. He doesn’t have to wake up alone anymore. Now he can actually cuddle Castiel, who is even more grumpy than him in the morning and the first thing Dean always does, is to look at his nightstand.

There’s a picture of his and Castiel’s kiss from their christmas party.

Dean strokes over it. He’s the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.

Castiel snores loudly and Dean chuckles quietly.

“I love you.” He whispers and Castiel smiles in his sleep.

#destiel secret santa #destielsecretsanta2020 #destiel fanfic #destiel #destiel writing #deancas #destiel fic

[piscesparker]

Paper cuts and broken hearts H.O

High school! AU

It was junior year of high school and things couldn't be better for you. You had great grades, amazing friends and a very loving boyfriend,Harrison. But your friends had always warned you about him and of course you ignored it, 'cause for you he was your knight in shining armor. Until one day he showed his true colors, by cheating on you, he said it was a drunken mistake, but why would you believe him now; so you called it quits with him. Unfortunately for you, the two of yo had most of your classes together, it was your first break up and it took a toll on your life, you started loosing your friends and getting lower grades.

Two months later you got a hold of your previous self, although you didn't have any friends you started getting better grades and now your education was your priority, not some playboy who toyed with your heart. Now you were sitting in English class waiting for your teacher to assign your projects, the frail little teacher entered the classroom and started explaining how this project counted as half your grade. "For this you will be paired up, and the list is put up," she announced,"remember kids your deadline is the end of the week!"

Picking up your backpack you head over to check who you were stuck with for a week, only to see your worst nightmare. Why out of all the students did your teacher pair you up with Harrison, your groaning was interrupted by a very familiar voice, "Hello love!"

You gave him a weird look as you let the nickname slip off his tongue, "You don't need to call me that anymore, we're not dating."

"Yeah, but it wan't be long until you come back, they all do." He said giving a smug smile.

"Well I'm not 'them' and I won't be making the same mistake again," you informed, "I'm doing this for my grade, that's it!"

"We'll see about that."

You felt your blood boil at his words, the audacity he had to think that you would get back with him? "Meet me in the library after school and we can start on the project."

"Okay darling."

"You still don't have any right to call me by any nickname, or even my name, from now on I'm Miss Y/l/n for you!" You said sternly, walking away to your next class.

--

The minute the school bell rings you made your way to the library, you had no hope that Harrison would show up, but you were secretly wishing that he wouldn't. But surprisingly he did, and that too entered the library the same time as you. Not uttering a single word you made your way to a secluded area of the library, Harrison following suit.

Scattering all your books and other stationary, you looked up to see Harrison sheepishly unfolding a piece of paper and placing it on the table earning an eye roll and a scoff from you. Sitting in silence you went over what you had just written over and over again, turning the pages you felt the tip of your finger burn, "Ouch! Paper-cut, you have to take me to the hospital!" You winced in pain.

"You can't even see it." He laughed.

"Well, you can't see a broken heart either but it still hurts!" You snapped at him. He immediately began gathering your things and shoved them in your bag as he led you to his car. The drive to the hospital was surprisingly quick, as you waited for the doctor, the nurse came in and saw the two of you, "Aww look at you two young love birds, the doctor will see you in a minute!"

"No, no we're not-" you tried to correct her but she walked away. After the doctor wrapped your finger, you were left in the room alone with Harrison when he spoke up, "Listen Y/n-"

"Miss Y/l/n." You corrected him.

"I'm really sorry for what I did, and I shouldn't have done what I did, but you're the best thing that has happened  to me and I don't want to lose you."

"Yeah, you should definitely be sorry, but no matter how much you apologize, we are never getting back together." You told him, resulting him to chuckle.

"I still remember how you quote Taylor Swift when you're angry."

"So what? Just because you remember little details about I'm supposed to slither back to you?"

"And Harry Potter too." He laughed.

"You think all of this is a joke? I let you break my heart once, I won't let you do it again."

"Y/n come on, it was in the past just let it go." Harrison begged, but he couldn't persuade you.

"Exactly! It's in the past and I am letting it go, so let's just finish this damn project so that I can graduate and never see your face again." You barked at him exiting the hospital, making Harrison guilty of everything he had done and you feel finally free.  

a/n: Okay y’all can bully me if you don’t like it ಥ‿ಥ

General Taglist: @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @drie-the-derp @veronica011sblog @hollanderfangirl @amorhollands @calltothewild @parkerpeter24 @whatthefuckimbisexual @musicalkeys @rnatasha @hollands-weasley @fancyxparker @peterspideysstuff @ethereal-beauty-p @parker-hollandx @going-crazy-over-unreal-people @xfirstfemale-marauderx @miraclesoflove

Harrison Osterfield Taglist: @hollandbroz-n-haz @hjoficrecs @euphorichxlland @asshatgrace

#harrison osterfield #haz osterfield #haz osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield oneshots #harrison osterfield angst #harrison osterfeild x reader

[dulce-pjm]

“f” for effort

word count: 3.6k

genre: fluff 

summary: this feud has gone on far too long. the study room is yours and you no longer care what namjoon has to say about it. 

You’re running for your life. 

At least, that’s really what it looks like. If you weren’t so goddamn fast, bystanders might have stopped to ask if you were safe or needed help. You’re huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf’s elderly grandma as you tear across campus with only one destination in mind. Beads of sweat drip down your forehead and stains are threatening to form in the pits of your shirt but frankly, you couldn’t give a shit. You’ve got a place to be, and fast. 

Said place is your heaven. Your paradise. Your land of milk and honey. Or as a moron would call it, the corner library study room. 

It’s roomy, it’s quiet, almost no one knew it was there. When you had loads of coursework to catch up on (which was often and just so happened to be the case on this Friday night), you sought refuge in your precious study room. During the day, the lighting was beautiful. The windows were massive, letting all of the sun’s rays beam into the cozy room and make you feel warm, bright, awake. At night, when you became especially frustrated, you could always slide your rolling chair over to said big windows and gaze at the stars or stare off into the night. 

No one appreciated that room correctly, not like you did it. 

Which is why you had to stop that little fucker, Namjoon, from stealing it from right under your nose. 

The two of you were only freshmen, but your ongoing feud over the glorious study room was intense enough to have lasted generations. You both were willing to pull out all the stops if that’s what it took to keep the other from making it to the room. You used the cheapest of tricks, flat out sabotaging the other if you felt it necessary. 

You recall one particular time you planted a fake spider (one of his biggest fears, you’d learned) in his backpack before the end of your shared Calc II class, making him let loose a shrill shriek, much to the annoyance of the professor. And while Namjoon was getting lectured on disrupting class and not acting his age, you were waltzing off to the study room, internally flipping him off as you did. The memory makes you chuckle as you heave and sprint. 

It wasn’t that Namjoon had done anything particularly wrong to you. You figured in another context, you might have found him much more bearable, maybe even nice. But something about him just rubbed you the wrong way. 

For one, he was an applied mathematics major. Who the fuck majors in just math? People who want to flex how much smarter they are than you, that’s who. And what did the applied part even mean? You suspected someone just as unbearable as Namjoon had added the word in so that he (because of course it was a man) and all his other mathematician friends could be pretentious, annoying fucks together. 

Secondly, despite being one of the top students in your class, he was a member of a fraternity. How he had time to both outperform everyone else in the STEM program and party it out with the frat brothers every night was beyond you. You’d heard from your senior friend (who also notified you that Namjoon was after your precious study room) that was also part of the brotherhood that Namjoon was on some kind of fraternity-specific scholarship and that was the only reason he joined. That you understood, tuition was no joke. Didn’t make him any less annoying, though. 

And third? Third... Well, you couldn’t think of a third point right now but you’re certain there is one, you know it. You probably couldn’t remember because you were running out of oxygen and dying under the beating sun. 

You’re almost crying tears of joy when you enter the library, head whipping around to search for a particular tall blonde. Luckily, he’s nowhere in sight. 

Your feet scream as they carry you to your safe haven but you can’t even be bothered until-

“Going somewhere?” He strides next to you, his effortless speed-walking easily overtaking your sloppy attempt at a run. Your books are threatening to slip from your arms and you’re fairly certain you lost the sunglasses on top of your head long ago when you came barreling down the bio building stairs. 

“Fuck you, Kim,” you spit harshly. “I came in here first so I get the room.” Your crudeness only makes him laugh maniacally. You curse the little dimples that crease into his cheeks, taking them as an insult to your misery.

“As far as I can see-” He takes advantage of your height difference and takes a massive step in front of you. “-I’m going to get there before you.” As if to tease you further, he spins to face you as he easily surpasses you, approaching the study room and its sign-up sheet with increasing speed. 

If you want to win this round- and you really, really do, not only to get your work done but to rub it in his smug face- you’ll need to play dirty. 

Moments later, Namjoon is picking up the pen, smirking at you as he moves to haphazardly scribble his name into the time slot. But you’re already formulating a plan. Your textbooks were pretty damn heavy, you bet it’d definitely throw him off if you managed to drop them on his toes. Actually, it definitely would, since the idiot was wearing sandals in late October. As you’re taking aim, however, Namjoon’s face falls. 

“The fuck is a board game club?” You freeze, mere steps away from dropping your books on his foot. 

“What?” When he doesn’t explain, you nudge him aside and peer at the sign-up sheet. Lo and behold, there it is. 

From eight p.m. to midnight, the room is booked. By a... board game club. And it’s seven forty-five now, which means you’re shit out of luck. 

“Well, looks like neither of us-”

“This is bullshit.” Namjoon chuckles at your disgusted expression. 

“It’s just a study room, Y/N. I’m sure there’s another free one.”

“Well, I don’t want just any study room, Kim. I want my study room.” He scoffs at your arrogance and (quite unfortunately) follows you as you spin on your heel and take off in the other direction. 

“Well, what are you gonna do about it? Tell off the game club?”

“I’m going to lodge a complaint and get my study room back.” 

“Mhmm.” He trails you incessantly as you march up to the nearest help desk and drop your books in front of the poor employee about to suffer from your wrath. 

“Can I help you?” the sheepish girl asks. She couldn’t be much older than you. You almost felt bad for what you were about to do. 

“Yes, can you please explain why a-” You raise your fingers for air quotes. “-‘board game club’ has booked a private study room, taking priority over student study time?” The girl is taken aback at your abruptness, clearly not used to being confronted in such a manner. But you weren’t here to waste time by avoiding hurt feelings. 

“I-” She hesitates, looking to the blonde beside you for help, of which he gives none. “I’m not sure what to tell you. The study rooms are first come, first serve.”

“For students,” you emphasize, pressing your palms into the desk and leaning forward. “Not unofficial club gatherings.” Something changes in the girl’s face and she turns away from you and faces her computer, typing something across the keyboard. In just a moment, her entire demeanor has flipped. It seems she’s not interested in entertaining your attitude anymore. 

“Well, looks like the ‘Board Game Club’ is an official, university-sponsored club. Which means they’re just as much entitled to study room time as you are. Actually, more-so, since you didn’t book your room in advance.” She spins her office chair backs towards you. “Sorry.” She shrugs, flashing you an all-too-fake smile. 

“Ugh, fine.” You pile your books back into your arms and roll your eyes, leaving the library altogether. 

And your trail follows you.

“What, you’re just gonna leave? There were other study rooms open!” You scoff, annoyed at his ignorance. 

“Well the other study rooms that are open at this time either smell like ass or have no air conditioning. So that’s a no-go.” Namjoon laughs quietly, agreeing with your sentiment. He’s been stuck in his fair share of poor study rooms before and knows it can ruin the experience. 

“So.... what are you going to do now?” 

You find yourself wondering why he’s still here, talking to you when he should be organizing his own study plan for the night. Further yet, you wonder why you’re entertaining his stupid questions at all. 

“I dunno. Camp out at the campus Starbucks?”

“What? But they close at ten!” You shoot an exasperated look in his direction. 

“And what’s it to you?” You pick up the pace in an effort to shake off your stalker, but much to your annoyance he jumps in front of you, thrusting out his hands before you can take a step further. You nearly collide with his chest. 

“Would you just wait a sec?” Your eyes glide up to meet his as you tap your foot, barely acknowledging you’re listening. “Why don’t you just come back to my place with me?” Your eyes narrow. 

“I’m not sure what you’re insinuating, but-” His eyes widen and he begins frantically shaking his head. You almost smirk. It’s fun watching him squirm. 

“No! That’s not what I meant!” He sighs, wringing his hands. “Most of the fraternity is at this other party so the house will be empty tonight. And quiet. I know that’s why you like the study rooms and it’s the least I can do for you.”

You’re still suspicious. What’s in it for him? He certainly wasn’t just being nice to be nice. There was something else involved. 

“If you knew the house would be empty tonight then why did you try to take the study room?” Namjoon shrugs, grinning mischievously.

“You’re just too fun to tease.”

That remark has you scoffing and brushing past him, not even dignifying him with a response. 

“Wait! Just slow down, would you?” A heavy hand settles on your shoulder and Namjoon is beside you again. You’re about to scream with frustration. 

“What, Namjoon? What could you possibly tell me that will convince me to come study with you?”

He grins sheepishly. 

“I’ll buy you pizza?”

Okay, yeah, you’re a tad ashamed you let your morals slide in exchange for greasy pizza that will wreck your stomach in the morning. But you’re hungry, okay? And the dining hall was already closed and your wallet was empty and it just happened.

And now you were plopped on Namjoon’s bed typing away furiously at your laptop. He’d made a few efforts at light conversation, but he quickly gave up trying to push that boulder when you barely grunted in response to his questions. 

His room was surprisingly nice and organized. The bedsheets were barely wrinkled and the room smelled pleasant despite it being apart of a literal frat house. Though his desk was a mess, littered with math theory books and philosophy papers and historical fiction novels. The books appeared well-loved and cared for, not like they were simply written as required on a syllabus.

He appeared pretty organized, too. The oak-colored round glasses he’d donned after arriving made him look older, more scholarly. And definitely more pretentious. 

You were glad the two of you weren’t doing this at your dorm. Your room was an actual nightmare. Your life might be organized and planned down to the minute, but your bedroom was an entirely different story. 

“So...” Namjoon chews on the end of his pen as he reworks old calculus problems. “Psychology major?” 

Really, trying at the small talk again? Good luck with that. 

You’re about to completely ignore him when it occurs to you that if you don’t talk about your major he will most certainly talk about his. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve heard him rant and preach about math and its many uses in modern society. So before you end up stuck in that situation, you entertain his question. If it could even be called that. 

“Mhmm.” You bite the bottom of your lip as you contemplate the next line of your essay. You don’t notice Namjoon staring. “I plan to graduate a year early and go straight to med school. Probably open a family practice one day.” Namjoon leans back into his bed frame, nodding in something close to awe. 

“Wow, you really got it that planned out?” 

“Yup,” you reply, popping the ‘p.’ “Since I was fifteen. I only majored in psychology because I think it’s interesting and I’ll look well-rounded when I start applying to med school. I’ll definitely just be a family doctor.”

“Well, you are a great people person...” You finally crack the next line of your paper and type it away, completely missing the joke and subtle jab. 

Ding dong. 

“That the pizza?” It’s the first thing you’ve said to him unprompted since you got here. 

“Think so. I’ll be back.” He heaves himself up from the bed and trots out of the room, right as your phone buzzes. You only spare the screen a passing glance, but upon seeing the notification is a text from your roommate, you immediately open it.

9:18 pm. Yeji: where are you? ive looked for you everywhere >:( 9:22 pm. Yeji: Y/N? pls respond or ill be worried 9:23 pm. Y/N: I thought you were using the room for yourself tonight. Why are you at the library? 9:23 pm. Yeji: suho cancelled :( i came to find you at the library but you aren’t here ? 9:24 pm. Y/N: The study rooms were all taken. Me and Namjoon are studying at his place. 9:24 pm. Yeji: wait, really?!?! 9:24 pm. Yeji: oh my god, FINALLY 9:25 pm. Y/N: ??? 9:27 pm. Y/N: Yeji?? 9:28 pm. Yeji: im just relieved you two are finally owning up to the obvious sexual tension in this stupid feud and banging it out ;)

You choke. Is that what people thought about you? The idea made you want to gag. 

9:29 pm. Y/N: What ?? 9:29 pm. Y/N: NO 9:29 pm. Y/N: That is most definitely NOT what is happening.  9:29 pm. Y/N: That’s disgusting.  9:30 pm. Yeji: aww booooooo 9:30 pm. Yeji: and to think, i was getting my hopes up for you 9:30 pm. Yeji: but seriously tho 9:31 pm. Yeji: whatever dance you two are playing isn’t gonna last long 9:31 pm. Yeji: its obvious you two like each other

With that, you shut the phone off completely and set it face down, suddenly feeling very, very hot. 

Yeji was an idiot. She didn’t know what she was talking about. 

Right?

This argument, this feud, this competition, it was fueled by anger and annoyance and, as much as you hate to say it, pettiness. You couldn’t stand Kim. And he didn’t particularly like you either. There was nothing else going on here. 

Your arguments weren’t flirting. They were arguments. Simple as that. 

But then again, you were sitting in his room. Studying together. Letting him buy you dinner. 

Well, fuck. 

“Pizza delivery!” You scream in fright as he enters the room, making him nearly drop the box full of your precious dinner. 

“Oh my god, fuck, are you okay?” You quickly fan at your cheeks to combat the furnace burning underneath them. 

“Yep! I’m fine! Just don’t scare me like that, for god’s sake.” 

When you meet his eyes, Namjoon looks genuinely apologetic. 

Your heart flutters. This little shit. 

“Well, uh, here’s your pizza.” He slides the box next to your laptop and settles on the opposite side of the bed, returning to his work. 

“You’re not gonna eat?”

“Nah, I ate earlier. And your stomach is growling. I can hear it from over here.” Your eyes bulge. 

Had he cared like this all along? Had you just been too blind to notice it? You were freaking out, your heart rate climaxing and your hands quickly becoming lightly coated in sweat. 

The weight of the past few months hits you like a freight train. 

It’s much too overwhelming. 

You’re suddenly aware of your close proximity. The smell of the room, of him, is overpowering and suffocating. The air is thick and you think you might choke. When did that dimpled grin become so attractive? Just before it immediately pissed you off but now...

You eye his blonde locks, imagining what it’d be like to run your fingers through them before you can stop yourself. The glasses you’d found pretentious somehow make him cute, maybe even endearing. Did you always feel like this?

“Are you sure you’re okay, Y/N? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or like you might throw up. Please don’t puke on my floor, I’m begging.”

“Fine!” you squeak, whipping your face back to the laptop screen, unwilling to let your eyes move even an inch in his direction. 

Even still, it’s like you can feel his body heat from across the bed, calling you in, taunting you for being the biggest moron you knew. 

You gotta get out of here. 

You finish your essay in record time, just as the clock strikes eleven. You’ve already instructed Yeji to pick you up at eleven-fifteen, and she’s always early. Now all you had to do was ignore the way your heart was beating in your throat and slip away to forget this ever happened. 

After a few days used to succumb to logic, you’d realize this was all a mistake. A misunderstanding. An unnecessary emotional reaction. 

“Well-” You stand, gathering your books in your arms. “I’m off. Thanks for buying me dinner and letting me intrude.” He looks up from his work to you, eyes bleary and exhausted. You hate the way you enjoy how he gives you his full attention and concern. 

“It’s really no problem. Do you want me to walk you home?”

Goddamn, Namjoon. Stop being such a gentleman, would you?

“No. It’s fine. My roommate is picking me up.”

“Oh, okay,” he replies, appearing slightly disappointed. No, he wasn’t disappointed. You’re just crazy and emotionally unstable at the moment. 

You bid him an awkward wave and slowly back out of the room when he calls out for you. 

“Y/N!” You freeze in the hallway as he approaches, noticing how his hair has fallen out of its styled position and hangs loosely rumpled in his face. 

“Yes?” He probably was gonna ask for you to pay for the pizza since he didn’t eat it. Yeah, that seems like a Namjoon thing to do. 

He pauses and grins awkwardly, making your eyes fly to those dimples. He wrings his hands. 

“I- uh-” He breathes out sharply through his nose. “I had a nice time.” You nod, allowing no change in your blank expression. 

“I appreciated the quiet. Thanks.” He sighs, looking as tired as you feel. 

“Look, I’ll cut to the chase. I’ve been trying to tell you I’m interested in you for a few months now.” Your heart stops and you’re unable to offer a response. “I may have got a bit carried away teasing but, well…’

“What do I need to do to secure another study date with you?”

You’re shocked. Flattered, even. But more than anything, you feel your pride inflating in your chest. You quickly forget that just moments before, you were the one drooling over him and instead bask in the fact that he’s been pining for you this whole time. You feel emboldened.

You give him a half-hearted shrug. Namjoon’s face falls.

“If you want a second date with me, you’ll have to do better than trashy pizza and textbooks.” A smile spreads across the boy’s face as he lets out a laugh that he’s desperately trying to contain. 

You love seeing him flustered. You’re a bit more comfortable admitting that now. 

“Yeah, yeah. Of course. I’ll work on that.” 

You give him a curt nod as the two of you walk towards the front door. 

“Find me in the corner study room when you come up with something.” You give him a glance over your shoulder as you step out into the night. 

“Yes ma’am,” he shouts back, playfully saluting you. You’re already missing his annoying presence as he closes the door. 

When you collapse into the passenger seat of Yeji’s car, you aren’t listening to her chatter at all. Not that you normally would, but this time there’s not even a chance you don’t tune everything out. 

You know, you think you could make room for Namjoon in your life plan. He was a little shit, sure. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t too. And something tells you that you won’t be getting rid of him so easily anymore. 

#bts #bts scenario #bts fanfic #namjoon #namjoon fanfic #namjoon scenario #namjoon fluff #not quite enemies to lovers but somewhere in that realm #more like unknowingly flirtatious idiots to lovers i'd say #namjoon as an asshole #OC as a bigger asshole #but they're assholes in love #ya feel?