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problematicpervertpod · 3 years

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recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI,

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better, uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life, rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two,

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme), FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) , I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray, ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia, roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love, sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining, these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers, big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels, would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

#yaoi #manga #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers #gay #lgbt #pornwhatplot #recs #book recs #manga recs #yaoi recs #ships #yandere #uke #seme

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stxleslyds · 3 years

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It’s very interesting to see your thoughts on Winnik cause personally while I like that he made jason a bit unhinged and fun in utrh his other characterizations of his were eh at best. Like why would jason not care about the world and why would he take over the drug trade of all things considering his history. I feel like Winnick had a very surface level understanding of Jason. There was a lot of his past to explore but it wasn’t explored that deeply. Plus I absolutely HATED his Bruce and talia characterization. And how he wrote Talia in both utrh and lost days was absolutely disgusting and his explanation for why he did it was that Jason loves Talia and that they were both messed up ppl??? Which is where I can’t forgive him. I feel like he was a one hit wonder because ever since utrh his Jason story started to go downhill. I also feel like it’s because DC doesn’t know how to write a character that’s from a poor background and that’s a huge disservice to Jason. I do hope that Rosenberg or another writer (hopefully female) does a good job on him. He’s been suffering under shitty writing for so long. Sorry for the long ask I really enjoy reading your posts.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending your ask!

Well, this is a great question because I love giving my opinions on Winick’s UtRH and Lost Days. I know those books (or some moments in them) are not everyone’s cup of tea and I had and have some problems with some of them but I have also come to understand them or even accept them as a writer bringing up a morally grey area in his books and doing it well (or at least I saw it that way after re-reading and researching a bit about his thoughts on those matters).

This is going to be a long post (I suppose) because there is a lot to cover and I want to let you know in a clear way why I think that what Winick wrote works beautifully for Jason. I will try to answer this as coherently as I can, so I will talk about the points you made in your ask separately so I make sure I don’t forget anything.

Let’s begin!

“Why would Jason not care about the world?”

I assume with that you meant about what happened in Bludhaven when Chemo was dropped there by the Society? That is valid but that really wasn’t Winick’s fault (I believe), that whole thing was shown in the book because back then the Bat-related books were more interconnected and that was what was happening in Dick’s Nightwing run at the time, which I think was used to explain why Dick suddenly stopped helping Bruce in Gotham.

And then I think Jason and Bruce watching that happen when they were having that conversation on that roof was very well planned out. I think Winick used that opportunity for Jason to be his peak level of little shit and make Bruce feel bad about not arriving in time to save another one of his kids. Even though Jason later revealed that he never blamed Batman for not arriving in time to save him, I believe Jason said that about Dick to make Bruce hurt more. Jason was trying to make Bruce stay in Gotham so either Bruce or him killed the Joker that night. Winick on the other hand had to finish his story, him branching out and having Batman go to Bludhaven would have benefited absolutely no one either, and it just didn’t fit the story that was being told in Under the Red Hood.

That’s why I think that Jason reacted that way to the Bludhaven and Chemo situation. If by caring about the world you meant something else let me know! (He obviously cared about Gotham in UtRH and other people in Lost Days).

“Why would he take over the drug trade of all things considering his history?”

Well, I have to be honest with you Jason wanting to control the drug trade in Gotham makes absolute sense to me, and even more when I think about Jason’s past history.

Jason and Bruce have always been (to me) clear opposites in various angles, and in UtRH, Winick talks about that a little bit too.

Batman was created to eradicate crime from Gotham after Bruce witnessed the death of his parents, that was the tragedy that set him off, and even though it was tragic and awful he had everything outside of his parents, he had a home, a support system, people that cared and gave him love, and money. He never had to be in contact with the cruel reality that was Gotham. We know through various stories that Gotham is deeply rotten and corrupted.

But Jason did know how corrupted, rotten and devoid of hope his city really was, he lived in the streets and in an abandoned apartment alone because he didn’t trust the police or social workers (he didn’t believe the system was helpful). He had seen his mother die at the hands of drugs after his father was sent to jail due to his criminal behaviour. Probably his father was a drug dealer and was the person that got his mother into drugs, (I believe that was later made canon, I might be wrong). But why did he do that? Maybe because he came from a poor and complicated background and nobody wanted to employ him so the real bad people of Gotham, like Black Mask, Cobblepot and many others, saw his vulnerability and his desperation to make money and they gave him a job as a drug dealer.

Considering that Jason was made out to have very deep problems with people selling drugs in schools and all that, I can estimate that maybe one of the big Drug Lords at the time employed Jason’s father when he was barely a teenager, that way he earned money, he stopped going to school and sold drugs to his peers so the bad people could control more people while they were vulnerable.

If all of that is true then Jason wanting to control the drug trade in Gotham, by becoming a Drug Lord himself, makes perfect sense to me. I mean let’s talk about this, what were his other options?

Kill every drug lord?

What if that set off a gang war in Gotham over who got to be the next big Drug Lord? I mean, it would be like real life, if someone dies in that sort of position there would always be someone else to take their place. Drugs are clearly (in Gotham) a great way to get money and power.

Also, if he killed all the drug lords then what happened to the people that were working for them, how could Jason help them get another job?

Explode every warehouse and facility with drugs in them?

And then what? Wait for Black Mask and the others to buy more and put a target on his back? Maybe kill some innocents so they can send a message to Red Hood that if he keeps destroying their drugs or whatever people will pay for it?

Maybe all the drug lords would come together and kill the Red Hood themselves, what could one man do against everyone else? Black Mask and the others had vulnerable people on a payroll, if they stopped working or went against what their boss said they would have been killed and then families would still be vulnerable and desperate to survive in Gotham.

Come forward as Jason Todd, the not so dead son of Bruce Wayne, and start a campaign against drugs?

Jason would have ended up dead in seconds, everywhere you look there are corrupt people. What could have been the point of that? What could have Jason be able to give families like his so they could stop living under the control of drugs and Drug Lords?

Jason being a Drug Lord himself was the best option because Jason KNOWS the reality of Gotham and Gotham’s people. His way of dealing with drugs could control the drug trade in the first 10 years and then eradicate it after that time. His plan was genius!

Jason knew that for people not to suffer as his family did, he had to take the slow and hard path of becoming the thing that he hated the most. He needed to attack the monster from within. So, when he made his first move he controlled the street-level dealers, he told them “I will protect you from both Black Mask and Batman if you stop dealing drugs to kids and in schoolyards if you do that, you are dead”, it is genius! By being clear about not wanting to have kids and high schoolers involved with drugs he set out a new path where those people weren’t forced into drugs and driven away from school. And that’s the way Winick made us see Jason’s not so new morals, he protects Gotham’s kids and he will kill you without hesitation if you endanger them.

From that he built, Winick made it clear, at first Jason would convince the people working for other Drug Lords to work for him if they followed his rules (and he offered them protection!). If Jason worked on the drug trade, he could have controlled who was inserted in the drug life or could have made it exclusive to the rich or club exclusive. In his intention of taking over the drug trade, he could have moved drugs away from Gotham’s most vulnerable.

And if he employed those vulnerable people, he would have made them work for him on other levels, that way those vulnerable people still had jobs and were protected from people like Black Mask. And in due time, fewer young and poor people would be involved with drugs or the drug trade.

Red Hood employs poor people and makes them not sell to other poor people or kids, he pays his employees good money so their families make a better life for themselves and their kids go to school, they are all protected by the Red Hood and his team (Jason could have trained others and make a team or gang that focused entirely on security), those people then get to retire with their families far away from drugs and maybe Gotham too.

I mean, Winick never did those things but I think that was the way he was thinking about it, he really set a golden path for future writers, his story had to finish Jason’s dilemma with Bruce and Joker but then his life as the Red Hood continued. And it could have been good if other writers used the characterization that Winick had given Jason: protector of children, killer of rapists and everyone that endangered women, children and teenagers. All of that was thrown away for a mythical fight with Ra’s al Ghul for people that were as trashy as Ra’s.

“I feel like Winick had a very surface-level understanding of Jason”.

I have to disagree. I think he understood Jason’s character before his death well and then built a grown-up version of him with those morals more developed after he suffered more and then saw how the world and Batman’s ways hadn’t changed after his murder.

We are talking about post-crisis Jason here; he was sweet and he loved being Robin but he also saw the world differently from Bruce and Batman. He lived a very different life than the one that Bruce lived when he was a kid. Jason even said that he “could fend for himself just fine” and that he had “graduated from the streets of crime alley”.

To me Winick understood this completely, he knew that Jason had had close contact with how drugs could affect people and what a criminal record could lead you to, but he also understood that Jason was a survivor of "crime alley" and all its worst people. He probably knew of things that people were doing of he saw them happening. He knew how to protect himself from those things but understood that not everyone could do it. And when Batman took him to Ma Gunn’s school Jason learned that Batman was ignorant of how awful and manipulative Gotham’s people could be. Ma Gunn wasn’t running an orphanage or cool school; she was teaching children how to steal and harm others. He hated it, he was “okay” when he was alone and now, he was locked in with older kids that beat him and Ma Gunn who was exploiting children’s vulnerability.

I assume Winick took that and maybe decided that was the moment when Jason knew that even if Batman was trying to do good, he still didn’t see Gotham (or that side of Gotham) for what it truly was.

When Jason became Robin and worked along with Batman, we could already see that Jason thought very differently about what should be done with rapists, and abusers of all kinds, Jason saw the world differently when he was a kid and a teenager and then after his death, Winick used that to build a Jason Todd that as a young adult still saw Gotham for what it truly was.

“There was a lot of his past to explore but it wasn’t explored that deeply”.

I am really confused by this (and I am very dumb), did you mean that his past before his death wasn’t explored? Because that was not the point of this book, the information was already there with Jason’s previous appearances in comics, and even then, Winick explored through flashbacks in UtRH how he saw Jason and what it was that Jason thought about crime.

If you didn’t mean that and you meant his past before the events of UtRH but after his death then, well, I would say that Winick couldn’t have fit that in UtRH but he did write a story about that time in 2010 when he wrote Red Hood: Lost Days.

“I absolutely hated his Bruce and Talia characterization”

I will only talk about the Bruce part here because you mentioned Talia later in your ask.

To me his Bruce was perfect. I really think that his characterization of him was spot on, but maybe I am biased because I don’t like Bruce at all? I suppose that you are talking about Bruce’s characterization in those last moments in "crime alley" with Jason and Joker? And how he decided that making Jason drop the weapon by throwing a batarang to his throat and saving Joker was a better option than Jason killing the Joker?

If it is that then I would love to see what you think Bruce would have done at that moment because I didn’t really see Bruce using a gun (in any way) as an in-character thing for him, and even though DC has always danced with the idea of Bruce actually killing somebody I know that they wouldn’t have him do it, and even less when it comes to killing the Joker.

I mean, Bruce brought back Joker from the dead when Dick finally killed that piece of shit so, yeah, I don’t know.

I feel like Winick was trying to show just how loyal and squared Bruce is when it comes to his own no killing rule. Jason wasn’t asking for Bruce to go on a killing spree he just wanted Bruce to kill the Joker and he didn’t. Winick even had Bruce say that about him not wanting to kill one person because he felt that if he did that, he wouldn’t be able to stop and I think that’s pretty true. Maybe it is a bit too much but I don’t think it’s a lie.

“How he wrote Talia in both UtRH and Lost Days was absolutely disgusting”

That is absolutely valid, listen, if you didn’t like how he wrote her at all I really can’t say anything against that. My first real and solid contact with Talia’s character was in that book, so when I read UtRH I really liked how he wrote Talia in that, it seemed to have that aspect of Talia’s love for Bruce being so strong that when she saw Jason was alive, she wanted to help him so Bruce could see how much he loved her. It is messed up but I believed it fitted her character, she had good intentions but her reasoning was a little bit wonky.

With Lost Days, I thought that her character was well written, she isn’t a hero and she isn’t a villain, she is just a player in the game that is the League of Assassins and that world. That obviously changed up until we had that scene happen between her and Jason, I was grossed out and I didn’t understand why that had happened which leads me to what you said next in your ask.

“His explanation for why he did it was that Jason loves Talia and that they were both messed up people”.

This is a part of the interview where Judd Winick answered a question about Jason and Talia sleeping together. The interview was done by Sara Lima in ComicVine’s podcast.

“SL: Why did you decide to write the romantic scene between Jason and Talia in Lost Days?

JW: For those playing at home, Jason Todd, at the end of Red Hood: Lost Days, and Talia slept together. I did that because it was really disturbing and to shine a light on the fact that these are not really well people. A lot of people didn’t like that, which was correct. “You weren’t supposed to like that. That was supposed to be, ‘oh God, stop that, what are you doing?’ It really was. As well as, for Talia, her reasons, being that Bruce had wound up inadvertently killing her father and she was ragingly angry with him and went from love to pure hate and still loving him at the same time. And Jason, given the opportunity to have sex with just about the only woman who Bruce has had sex with or really cares about, ‘Yeah, I’ll go there.’

SL: He’s like, ‘yeah, cause I hate that guy.’

JW: Yeah! ‘I hate that guy!’ And I think that Jason probably had the hots for Talia. She’s hot, he doesn’t exactly have a lot of relationships going on – It’s not a good thing for either of them. These are two people who murder people, two people who are screwed up, screwed up emotionally. There’s this question that why would he do that and Talia only loves Bruce. She might only love Bruce, but she does have sex with other people because that’s just sex. And we’re all grown-ups here. I think those who shake their fist and get angry at this kind of thing might be some of our older readers. I’m an older reader, but I acknowledge the fact that people aren’t that chaste and grow up: people have sex. That’s why I ended it like that; It was messed up.

Maybe it was in another interview or something but this is the only time that I have seen Winick talk about that and I don’t think he mentioned Jason loving Talia but he did say said that “These are two people who murder people, two people who are screwed up, screwed up emotionally”.

When I looked it up, I found that someone that is described as screwed up is a person that is “emotionally disturbed”. That description is one that I feel is valid for both Jason and Talia at the time, they both had a lot going on and were fighting some demons so maybe it’s not a nice thing to say but I can’t say that the statement isn’t true. Or at least that’s how I see it.

When I came across that interview for the first time, I wasn’t expecting Winick to apologise for writing that interaction but I did want an explanation so after he said, “A lot of people didn’t like that, which was correct. “You weren’t supposed to like that. That was supposed to be, ‘oh God, stop that, what are you doing?’ It really was” and “for Talia, her reasons, being that Bruce had wound up inadvertently killing her father and she was ragingly angry with him and went from love to pure hate and still loving him at the same time. And Jason, given the opportunity to have sex with just about the only woman who Bruce has had sex with or really cares about, ‘Yeah, I’ll go there.’”

I felt like that was enough, granted I didn’t like it and I still don’t like it but I don’t see it as Winick writing something disturbing with evil intentions, I just see it as him writing these two morally grey people doing some very morally grey stuff.

This is not me saying that this is how things have to be taken, I know and understand many people who absolutely don’t like this at all and that’s valid. I am not here to change your mind about that, personally when I read the why he wrote that I felt like that explanation was enough but that is just me.

“I feel like he was a one-hit-wonder because ever since UtRH his Jason story started to go downhill”

I think Winick was only meant to write Jason’s comeback to comics, around the time he was writing Outsiders and Green Arrow. And there was also the “Infinite Crisis” (Winick wasn’t involved with that one) event going on in the middle that explained some stuff like how Jason was resurrected which was explored in Batman Annual #25 in 2006 (like a year after the UtRH book had come out and it was also written by Winick). Then with the popularity of the UtRH book the animated movie was made (written by Judd Winick) and because that was coming out DC allowed Winick to write the six-issue mini of Red Hood: The Lost Days in 2010.

The UtRH story didn’t go downhill, DC simply couldn’t handle that level of mature storytelling at the time, just after that event ended DC was already planning on changing stuff and then the New 52 came years later.

Winick’s Jason even made an appearance in Outsiders #44-46, there Red Hood wanted to help the Outsiders break out a good man (Black Lightning) out of prison because he hadn’t killed anyone (it had actually been Slade). Jason/Red Hood’s characterization and story going downhill wasn't on Winick, it was on DC and their lack of interest in making their characters complex and dual.

“DC doesn’t know how to write a character that’s from a poor background and that’s a huge disservice to Jason”

Absolutely. But in my case, I do think that Winick did work with Jason’s background very well. To me, he set a path and no one could follow it but I might also be horribly wrong.

I also hope that Rosenberg does an amazing job! I absolutely love his work, as I have said before he is super funny and isn’t scared of writing characters who kill. I feel like he will bring back the sarcastic little shit that Jason once was but he will also bring back that sense of seriousness and dedication that Jason has for the work that he is doing. Rosenberg even showed us some of that in that prelude to Task Force Z in Detective Comics, I absolutely recommend them if you haven’t read them, issues #1041 and #1042 were the ones with that backup story.

I can see that we have very different opinions but that’s just a part of the comic world, we all perceive these comics differently and that’s valid! I am glad you enjoy reading my posts and I hope that even though we have those different opinions you were still able to enjoy my answer! If you think that I misunderstood anything that you say please let me know, sometimes my brain just doesn’t click.

Hope you have a fantastic week!

#jason todd #red hood #robin jason todd #utrh #red hood lost days #jasons characterization #dc comcis #asksss

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snelbz · 4 years

Text

What Happens In Vegas... {1}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Feyre x Rhysand, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Summary: For Feyre’s twenty-first birthday, her best friend took her to Las Vegas for a weekend of fun she could never forget. She’s going home with a lot more than memories.

What Happens In Vegas Masterlist

Fanfiction Masterlist

I decided on divorce while I was in the shower, practically slamming the door in my new husband’s face. I went over what I would say to him over and over and when I’d washed my hair for the third time, I knew I was stalling. This wasn’t something I could just pretend hadn’t happened, this was real.

Except maybe I could.

I had plans and life goals. I was only twenty-one. Surely he couldn’t have been surprised by my desire to make this disaster of a marriage go away. You don’t just meet a random person and get married in Vegas. You bring someone to Las Vegas and then you get drunk and get married. But drunkenly marrying an absolute total stranger, who’s name I still didn’t know? Not high on my list of personal accomplishments. I definitely wouldn’t be adding it to my resume when all of this was over.

My parents could never find out, they would kill me. I had plans and priorities. I was going to finish my degree and join my father’s architectural firm. Hell, I had a five- and ten-year-plan, and neither of them included drunkenly marrying a handsome stranger in Vegas.

No, we’d get this thing taken care of and I’d be back in my home town, and back to the life changing internship I was supposed to start in two weeks.

That was it, we’d get divorced and then I’d take this secret to my grave. I was sure my husband was thinking the same thing outside the bathroom door.

I dragged a hand down my face as I stood under the spray of the water and looked at the rock on my left hand. This thing must have cost a fortune. Like a legitimate down payment in a house fortune.

I froze. What if he was into something illegal? His clothes certainly didn’t seem like that of someone who had this much disposable income.

Marrying a stranger was bad enough, but marrying a criminal?

I suddenly felt the need to puke again, but reigned it in. There was nothing left in me to hurl up, anyways.

Attempting to shake the criminal thought away, I tried to take other possible theories into consideration. Maybe he was one of those rich kids that still takes his mommy and daddy’s money, even though he tries to pass off as normal so that he doesn’t have to go to go to all the boring events, full of other rich, snooty people. Or, maybe he had won the lottery and was using his winnings on his trip to Vegas, where he buys obnoxiously large rings for strangers that he marries.

Somehow the criminal theory seemed the most realistic.

A knock on the door had me jumping. “Feyre?”

Well, at least he knew my name.

I hollered back, “Just a second,” and quickly turned off the shower and got out. Wrapping a towel around myself, I looked for something to dress in, but my options were limited. I could put on my white dress, but it was now covered in puke, or the white t-shirt I assumed belonged to the man outside my door, still wet, hanging over a towel rack. I could only assume I’d puked on it, too. Or I could wear the towel.

Towel, it was, it seemed.

I cracked open the door. “Hi.” He was right there leaning on the door frame. I hadn’t noticed when we were sitting down, but he was quite a bit taller than me, a full head, if not more. And he was still shirtless, in those jeans, with those tattoos on display and I was too hungover to process how someone could look like that after a night of drinking.

“Hey.” He wouldn’t look at me, didn’t even seem to notice I was wearing only a towel, thankfully. “Listen, I’m going to have this taken care of.”

I blinked. “Taken care of?”

“Yeah.” He wouldn’t meet my eyes and he was staring at the ground. A scuff on his boots was clearly more interesting than I was. “My lawyers will handle it.”

“You have lawyers?” Criminals had lawyers. Shit. I had to get myself divorced from this guy now. “Yeah, I have lawyers. You don’t need to worry about anything. They’ll send you the paperwork or whatever. However this works.” He finally looked up at me, an emotion I didn’t recognize in his violet eyes, and grabbed his leather jacket from where it was laying on the bed. He shrugged it on, apparently deciding the t-shirt was a lost cause. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. If I were him, I’d divorce me and run as far away as I could. He probably thought I was going to puke on him again.

“This was a mistake,” he muttered, echoing my thoughts. Hearing him say it, though, hurt for some reason.

I breathed, “Oh.”

He looked up at me then. “What? You disagree?”

“No,” I said, far too quickly.

“Thought not. Wish we would have felt that way last night. Could have saved us a lot of trouble, yeah?” He headed for the door and said, “Bye, Feyre.”

“Wait!” I called and hurried to the door.

When he turned, I really wished I hadn’t seen the hope in his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Here,” I said, already tugging the ring off my finger. “This is yours.”

He looked down at my fingers, gripping the ring, holding it up to him. He blinked, then his eyes narrowed. “Keep it.”

I nearly gaped. “It must’ve cost a fortune. I can’t keep this.”

He shrugged. “I don’t want it back.”

“Please,” I said, following him as he took a step toward the door. “It’s yours and I have no need for it. Take it. Please.”

The second please came out much more desperate than the first.

“Look,” he said, rubbing his temples as he turned around. “Sell it, pawn it, I don’t care. Keep it.”

“No,” I said, without any hesitation. “It wouldn’t feel right. You have to take it.”

“No, I don’t,” he said, voice low.

He didn’t give me a chance to reply, storming outside and slamming the door behind him. The painting on the wall lifted and fell as the force reverberated through the walls. He never even told me his name.

I was left staring at the door, mouth hanging open, the ring still in my outstretched hand.

I had no doubt that whether or not he did have lawyers, he would make sure we were divorced now. I slowly walked over to the undisturbed double bed, the scratchy comforter still in place, and sat down. I sighed and said a prayer to the Cauldron that that really would be the end of this fiasco.

As I sat there, still wearing nothing but my towel, I noticed that my right butt cheek, strangely enough, was aching, throbbing for some reason. I shook my head, not surprised in the least that I’d somehow ended up causing myself bodily harm last night. I stood and walked back to the bathroom after tucking the ring away safely in my carryon bag. I made a mental note to call Joey, who was absent from our hotel room, but she’d come to Vegas with a goal in mind of her own.

It didn’t include getting married, but did include some other activities that go hand in hand with it.

The thought gave me pause and I froze, halfway to the open doorway.

My ass was currently the only thing aching, so I could only assume that me and my soon-to-be ex-husband hadn’t consummated our marriage. I tried to ignore the disappointment I felt at that fact.

I may not have wanted to be married to him, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy doing other things with him. Things that didn’t end up in a legal and binding contract with the state of Nevada and the Man upstairs.

I knew this was a blessing in disguise. Thank god he didn’t want to keep this mess going, I don’t date bad boys. And that man was definitely a bad boy. I was more into the clean cut, college-educated, I have a 401K type of guy.

Had I ever dated that type of guy? No.

Had I even gone on a second date in the past three years? Also no, but that wasn’t the point.

I could already tell that man was nothing but trouble, and getting as far from him as possible was my best bet.

I sighed, walking into the harsh light of the fluorescent bulbs over the bathroom mirror, wanting to inspect the damage to my ass. I turned and stood on my tiptoes, looking backwards at myself in the mirror. I wondered if it would end up bringing a scrape or a bruise. I hadn’t felt anything while I was in the shower, nor did I remember falling last night — not that I would have anyways. I cringed, hoping my husband hadn’t-.

Black ink and hot pink skin. All the air left my body in a rush. There was a word on my left butt cheek, a name:

Rhysand

I spun and dry-heaved into the sink.

———————

“How, after nearly twenty years of friendship, is your music taste still this horrible?”

Joey was scrolling through my saved songs on Spotify, sharing one of my ear buds. She had, indeed, succeeded in completing her goal last night. She finally stumbled into our hotel room, still orgasm drunk a mere two hours before our flight was scheduled to take off. Thanks to my overwhelming anxiety, I had everything packed and ready to go, sitting by the door when she walked in looking like exactly like she’d spent her night in someone’s bed. Rather than waking up on a clammy bathroom floor.

I thought this was supposed to be my birthday trip. How did I end up with the shit end of the stick.

“If you wanted to listen to your own music, you should have remembered to charge your phone before you slept with our waiter from last night.” It came across with much less sarcasm as was intended, and anyone else would have thought I was being an absolute bitch, but as she watched me swallow the rest of the shitty, airplane coffee, she knew I’d had a rough night.

She went on, ignoring me. “Have I taught you nothing?”

I snorted. “Not to drink tequila.”

With a roll of her eyes, she opened her mouth to reply, but the dinging of the PA above their heads rang out and she paused. The seatbelt sign lit up and we both re-fastened the belts across our laps. She said, “I’m trying to help you and your horrific music taste. Here.” She scrolled through my saved artists and found a band I hadn’t even noticed was on the list. It had a singular song saved.

A screaming electric guitar and aggressive yelling filled my head and I yanked the earbud out. So much for my headache beginning to fade. I was convinced my brain was leaking out of my ear, she’d turned the volume up so loud.

“How do you even listen to that?” I asked, rubbing temples as I began to feel my heartbeat behind my eyeball.

“It’s Illyrian Leathers,” she said, as if that was explanation enough.

“And they're lovely,” I said, taking my phone and pausing the song before unplugging the headphones. We’d begun our descent and would off the plane in a matter of minutes. “But, you know, maybe another time, after you didn’t pour twenty tequila shots down my throat.”

She scoffed, “It was only four, you took the rest of your own accord.” I could vaguely remember Joey putting back to back shots to my lips and tipping them back before I could stop her. Twice.

That vague memory was on the short list of things I could remember.

All I knew now was that I couldn’t wait to get home, climb into my bed, and forget about everything that happened in Vegas. For the first time in my life, I finally understood the popular phrase, What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

It would be easier to forget, though, if I hadn’t spent the entire flight trying to get comfortable in my seat with my throbbing asscheek.

I stared out the window, watching my hometown slowly fade into view as the plane descended in the sky. I made a vow then and there that I would never leave the comfort of Adriata again. I had proven to myself that nothing good happens when I leave the city limits.

“So what did you end up getting into last night?” Joey asked, gathering her dark hair and piling it on top of her head. “Aside from the toilet bowl.”

“That’s pretty much it.” The less said, the better. The less people that knew, the better. The sooner she was off this plane, the better.

“What a boring birthday weekend,” she scoffed.

We were quiet the rest of the short ride, my stomach mercifully survived the landing, though it did lurch once. After grabbing our bags from the overhead bin, we disembarked the plane, and I was very grateful that we had only brought carry ons.

In no time, I would be on my way home.

The thought had me almost smiling, but the nausea kept that smile at bay.

We exited the plane, past the smiling flight attendants, and exited into the tunnel that would lead us up into the terminal. Joey rambled on and on for the entirety of our walk, but I rarely made out a word she was saying. My head was back to throbbing, and I was counting down the distance that would lead us into the parking garage.

I could see the sign up ahead that pointed to baggage claim, and thankfully we wouldn’t have to wait for any bags, but what we did run into past that sign was much, much worse.

The second we stepped into view, flashes of light were blinding me.

“What’s going on?” I asked, lifting up on my toes, trying to catch a glimpse of the chaos ahead.

“Must be a celebrity on board or something,” she mused, glancing behind us, just like the people in front of us were. I followed suit, only to find the people behind us staring in front of us.

Then I heard it. My name. Being said by about twenty different people.

“Feyre, when’s the baby due?”

“Why didn’t Rhys fly with you to Adriata?”

“Is it true the band is breaking up?”

“What do you have to say about the allegations that you’re sleeping with the other members of the band?”

“Will you be having a second wedding?”

“When is Rhys coming to meet your parents?”

I was frozen, my heart had quit beating and I was pretty sure my stomach was in a puddle in my Vans.

An endless barrage of questions and flashes and my name and his over and over and over.

Joey gripped my hand and pulled my hood up my hair. “Keep your head down and don’t stop walking.”

She began forcing herself through the crowd, shoving one man and his camera out of his way as we hurried through the busy airport and jumped into a waiting taxi, cutting a line of nearly a dozen people. I couldn’t be bothered to care as the paparazzi descended on the cab.

“Drive!” Joey shouted at the man.

He blinked and said, “Where?”

“Anywhere!”

He stepped on the gas, just as I dropped my face into my hands and groaned. My mind was whirling. It made sense, but at the same time, I couldn’t comprehend it.

Rhysand.

The name tattooed on my ass.

My apparent husband.

He was...famous?

Not a criminal. Not some fake rich kid. Not a lottery-winner.

Famous.

Famous enough that paparazzi were greeting his new wife as she got off the plane, anyway.

“Feyre.”

By her tone, I assumed it wasn’t the first time Joey had said my name. My hands dragged down my face as I hesitantly met her gaze.

I blinked.

“What the hell was that?” she asked, her voice raising.

I looked out the window behind her head. We were exiting the airport, and I didn’t even bother to announce that my car was still in the parking garage.

“I…” I began, but my words fell short. I didn’t know. Yes, I did. But I didn’t want to, wanted to pretend that I didn’t, because this could not be my current reality.

“You didn’t happen to get…married while we were in Vegas, did you?”

“I… Yeah. I, uh, think I did.”

She blinked. “Wow.”

And then it just all blurted out of me. “God, Joey. I screwed up so badly and I barely even remember any of it. I just woke up and he was there and then he was so pissed at me and I don’t even blame him. I didn’t know how to tell you. I was just going to pretend it never happened.”

“I don’t think that’s going to work now.”

“No.”

“Okay. No big deal. So you’re married.” Lauren nodded, her face freakily calm. No anger, no blame. Meanwhile, I felt terrible that I hadn’t confided in her. We shared everything.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I whispered. “I should have.”

“Yes, you should have,” she sighed. “But it’s okay. I know now. So,” she said, crossing her leg and looking at me. “Who did you marry?”

“Rhysand,” I said, and she blinked at me.

“It’s not Rhysand Lunasa, is it?”

I shrugged, I hadn’t even known his name until I found it branded on my asscheek. “Maybe? It sounds familiar.”

“Where exactly am I taking you ladies?” The cab driver asked, glancing at us in his rearview mirror.

Joey glanced at me and said, “Feyre?”

I turned around, seeing the cars still following us. “My parents,” I breathed. I really didn’t want to lead them right where I lived, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if they already know.

Joey nodded and said, “Good call, your dad has a gun.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head as she rattled the address she’d had memorized for years off the driver.

She sat back against the cracked leather seat and took my hand. I looked over at her. “I’m so sorry I didn’t say something. I didn’t mean to get married. I don’t even remember getting married. I don’t even know how this happened. This is such a…”

“Clusterfuck?” She provided.

I snorted and said, “Yeah, that’s a good word to describe the situation.”

She squeezed my hand and said, “You’re right. You really shouldn’t drink tequila.” I could only nod, my head pounding. After a second, she asked, “Do me a favor?”

“Mm?”

“Please don’t break up my favorite band.”

My eyes widened as I realized all at once who my darling husband was. “Oh, my god. He’s the guitarist from that band.”

“Illyrian Leathers,” she said, smirking as she looked over at me. “And yes, he is. Guess you’re going to have to listen to his music after all.”

I didn’t bother to tell her the obvious: no, I would not. This nightmare of a marriage would hopefully be over before I’d have time to search and find one of his records.

I smacked my forehead. He’d been plastered on Joey’s bedroom wall since we were sixteen, when Illyrian Leathers had formed. How could I have not recognized him? “It makes sense how he could afford the ring.”

“What ring?”

I hesitated before fishing the giant rock out of my pocket. When I held it up, Joey’s eyes widened.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “I know.”

“It’s massive!”

“I know,” I repeated, still amazed at the size of the diamond.

“I mean, it’s-.”

“I know,” I interrupted, exasperated. “You can’t freak out, alright? I’m already freaking out, and we both can’t freak out, because that won’t work.”

“Right,” she said, quietly, clearing her throat. “Sorry, I just…holy shit.” She took the ring into her fingers and examined it as if it was a long lost family treasure. “How much does something like this cost?”

I shrugged. “No idea. A fortune, I’m guessing. And I really don’t want to guess.”

She was looking at it and suddenly her eyes were on mine. “We should sell it and take a world wide cruise! Probably take a couple laps on the bad boy. I wonder how many carats it is?”

I took it back from her, tucking it safely away in my pocket again. “Five, and no, I need to get it back to him. There’s no way I can keep this thing.”

She sighed, letting her head fall back against the headrest. “I know, but you could have let me imagine it for a few minutes.”

I snorted but didn’t say much else.

“Congratulations,” she said as we got closer to my parents’ house. “You’re officially married to a rockstar.”

I dropped my head into my hands again. “What the hell am I going to do?”

She chuckled. “I have no idea, but I have to tell you, you exceeded my expectations.”

My eyes slid to her. “What do you mean?”

“When I told you I was taking you to Vegas for your birthday, I was hoping you’d let your hair down and let loose for once. Get a life and give mankind another chance. But this is a whole new level of crazy you’ve ascended to. Do you really have a tattoo?”

“Yes.”

“Of his name?”

I sighed and nodded.

“Where, might I inquire?”

I shut my eyes tight. “My left asscheek.”

Joey lost it, laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face.

I’m glad one of us found my current situation funny.

Because as my childhood home came into view, already surrounded by paparazzi, I knew that my life as I knew it was over.

My father was going to kill me.

#snelbz whiv #snacmc #snelbz tacmc collab #what happens in vegas #feysand #feyre archeron #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas

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blissfulbroadway · 3 years

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Alfred Nathaniel Hallam III Headcanons!!!

YES his name is Alfred Nathaniel Hallam yes he is a third no I do not take criticism

Childhood:

- Alfie got pneumonia as an infant. It messed up his lungs A Lot and affected his immune system and stuff as well so as a child he was constantly sick.

- He was in and out of hospital a lot and had a few surgeries so he was always on bed rest and isolated to everyone until he was about four years old.

- All of his medical issues caused his mum, Elizabeth Hallam, to dote on him a lot and suffocate him a bit. His father, Alfred Hallam II was the opposite and became pretty detached from being a father figure to Alfie.

- At a very young age, Alfred was introduced to stories since he couldn’t go anywhere. He was constantly reading in bed and learning often. Also his father made him study German just for funsies.

- His grandfather Wally, or Alfred Hallam I, introduced Alfred to Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland when he was three. Wally re-enacted the story to him in hospital a lot, and it inspired Alfred to fall in love with the story and take on the characters as his own. Wally got him his own copy after an especially difficult surgery, as well as a stuffed rabbit called Baby because he’s a three year old and it’s his little baby bunny :-) (he still ends up traveling with it as an adult and can’t leave without him).

- Around that time, his parents had his little brother, Elias (named after their mum) to be a backup plan or new start because they didn’t think Alfred would be much worth to them in the future. Yes they are shitty I know :/

- His parents have very very very high expectations for him because he’s now the older brother who has to do everything and he’s not their spoiled sick baby boy. They let Eli be a little shit and do anything he wants (like any little sibling but multiplied by like 10) while Alfie was expected to be the perfect child who dressed, acted, looked, and spoke the way they wanted.

- Alfie and his parents are very posh sounding because they live in Bromley, but he has a slight northern twang because of his grandfather. His parents hate it.

- When he’s four years old, after a long period of bedrest, Alfred is allowed to play alone outside, and he meets Alice. They refer to that day as their Golden Afternoon because it was the day they became the best of friends, and Alfred introduced Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland to her. (At first Alice was probably like Who are you and what are you doing in my backyard and Alfred is just SO EXCITED to introduce his favorite storybook in his entire existence so she budges and let’s him share his world with her)

- Alfie is a huge bookworm and while he adores learning and reading, his infatuation for learning mathematics (mostly so he could impress his father and maybe he would love him more if he knew “Big Kid Things” yes I know 🥺🥺🥺) manifested into an obsession with time, as well as the fear of being late or running out of time. He was surrounded by the idea of death from a young age and it influenced the way he thought about himself and what might happen to him if he didn’t listen to his parents. Their pressure brought out his anxiety disorder and depression at a very young age and it sticks with him throughout the rest of his life. His escape from all that death and sadness was Alice’s Adventures because he could always reset the clock at the end of the book and start again.

- When he’s five, Alfie spends some of his rich kid allowance on a copy of Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland for Alice, and in return she buys him a pocket watch a few years later. He adores it and never ever takes it off even as an adult.

- Alfred avoids his own home a lot and spends time with Alice in their conjoined backyard, playing pretend and acting out their story together. Sometimes, they spent the days inside her house (Mama Hallam is good friends with the Spencer parents, so she doesn’t mind them watching Alfie) and Alfred is well acquainted with Mr. and Mrs. Spencer enough where he considers them paternal figures...sort of. (Mr. Spencer is lowkey highkey Alfred’s bisexual awakening, and he’s one of Alfred’s first crushes; it doesn’t help that his own father constantly criticizes him and his interests or is absent from his life doing slimy rich man things. Daddy issues.)

- Mr. Spencer is a book lover (possibly librarian? Also sometimes professor :-)) and so he’s constantly discussing stories with Alfred and Alice on an intellectual level fit for the both of them. Most adults treat them like small children, so Alfred loves the attention.

- When Mr. Spencer dies in their early teenagehood, Alice and Alfred get incredibly attached to their storybook, and they find more comfort in it than ever. His death launched Alfred’s struggles with eating and sleeping, as well.

- This is one of the harder periods of time for Alfred, as he and Alice didn’t have any friends aside from each other. They’re incredibly codependent on one another.

- Mamie Van Eysen flirts with Alfred a lot during this time, but only as a joke. Either that, or she makes fun of his body and his personality—both in front of Alice, to make Alfred uncomfortable and Alice jealous. Other students bully him and Alice often.

- A lot of Alfie’s self image issues stem from this time, and his anxiety and depression worsen.

- When Alice’s mum dies when they’re fifteen, the pair runs away together. Alice almost gets assaulted, and Alfred wants to protect her. He gets into a giant fistfight with the older man. It’s bad enough to the point where the man is arrested and Alfred is hospitalized; it’s the hardest period he’s ever spent in hospital, even after all of his childhood issues. The police bring Alice and Alfred home and Alfred is banned from visiting Alice for a while. They communicate by speaking through the windows straight across from one another, or holding up signs from the window seats. While Alfred is healing, Mama Hallam is extra overbearing and critical to the point of being toxic and unhealthy for Alfred. His brother gets really mean around this time, too, as he doesn’t get the attention he once had. His and Alfred’s relationship get really rocky, and it’s never really mended in the future.

- The day Alice and Alfred can officially reunite, they never separate and they’re stuck at the hip from this point forward.

- When Alfred isn’t hanging out with Alice, he is at his grandfather’s hat shop, helping him stock or sell products. He puts his money towards a secret emergency fund in case he runs away again—this time without Alice. Alfred can never get past the front door, though.

University:

- When they reach uni, Alfie majors in mathematics and education, and minors in literature and statistics. He finds joy and love in his studies again, even if school itself affects his mental health.

- Alfred doesn’t want to be dependent on his parents, so he gets a job at a coffee shop and writes essays on the side for money. His caffeine addiction is dangerous at this point, and he often finds himself not eating or sleeping until it’s physically impossible not to take care of himself.

- Alfred puts all of his money towards renting an apartment with none other than Miss Tabatha Dedwin!!

- He and Tabbie are flatmates. Since Tabbie is best friends with Dodgy Dawkins, he meets him, as well. They’re friends for good after that, and that’s when Alfred starts to wind down, smoking with them, as well as his Alice.

Adulthood:

- After university, Alfred gets official treatment and is able to change his eating habits and caffeine addiction.

- Alfred learns about emotional support animals and gets a Giant Flemish Rabbit named Ollie to be his support animal. He’s giant and blue-eyed and looks like the spitting image of Alfred’s beloved White Rabbit. He’s a cutie.

- Alfred also did a little bit of gardening when he was getting treatment, and once he’s home he gets all sorts of plants and becomes a Plant Dad (with lots of research, of course!)

- In his mid twenties, Alfred finishes his extra schooling and becomes a primary school teacher. He blossoms into a happy, mostly healthy bisexual man with lots of plants and a sweet pet bunny and he wears funky disastrous outfits and has an amazing support system!!! (Alice, Wally, Tabs, and Dodgy :-) also Wally’s lover Denny the carpenter who comes out to Alfred when he’s an adult. He’s super shook but he gets even closer to Wally because they’re more similar than he believed)

- When he’s prob like 30 he goes to more school and becomes a university professor in the end of his years! Depending on who he ends up with he possibly has a few kids and a bunny and life is good!!! He’s teaching and learning constantly and it’s the life he’s always wanted even if his parents never accept his Christmas cards and his brother doesn’t answer his calls. He’s happier than he’s ever been.

- Also don’t tell Sage but when Alfie’s older his health problems catch up to him and he dies a relatively young death due to complications with his lungs :-( rip to my main man Alf

Little Headcanons:

- Alfie is the Biggest animal person besides maybe Tabbie. The ONLY exception is geese because one time he tried to feed a goose was brutally attacked by a goose and is afraid of them. He prob does birdwatching in his free time too

- Alfred’s fashion is HORRENDOUS @dodgefred and I made it up forever ago that he was a fashion disaster and ofc Colton’s costume...moving on. The reasoning for his fashion is he just picks pieces that make him happy that day and he sticks with it it doesn’t matter if he matches he’s just vibing.

- He reads his kids bedtime stories and he’s so devoted to being the father his own dad never ever was - When he becomes a professor it’s probably to teach Calculus and while his class makes people cry Very Often Alfie as a teacher himself is very very empathetic and comforting and yeah math is a bitch but he’ll take time out of his lunch breaks and extends his office hours way past the set time to help a student!!! He’s such a comfort to LGBT+ students and he probably has a few he discusses gay discourse in literature with (Tabbie absolutely introduced him to lesbian literature also also this isn’t a Tabs post but she stans Shakespeare :-)). Professor Alfie is the weird quirky prof. who stresses you out sometimes but also he goes on long tangents about his interests and how much he loves his significant other or children or baby bunny child Ollie!! He has so many plants and books in his classroom too it’s a Lot.

- Wayyyyy into theatre but he didn’t pursue acting onstage because his dad is homophobic :/ but he was in charge of lighting in school productions and fell in love with the stage

- He helps his friends study by acting out their textbooks for them and they always always ace their tests

- MUG COLLECTOR!!! He has so many mugs it’s not even funny his entire cupboard is taken over by them honestly

- Virgin who can’t drive

- Such a cursed and baseless hc I’m So Sorry but his first crush was the tomato from Veggie Tales

- Going off the last point he grew up in a Catholic household and he had one of those mums who was like you are Not allowed to watch tv unless it’s like. Veggie Tales or the Little Einsteins

- Alfie plays piano!!!! Also he did ballet when he was younger but he left because it was super bad for his mental and physical wellbeing and is convinced he’s a bad dancer because of his poor experience with the art

- Alice calls Alfred her Bunnie and he calls her My Alice/Allie/Allie Cakes

The end :-)

#alice by heart #alice by heart musical #ABH #abh musical #alice in wonderland #alfred hallam #alfie hallam #alice spencer #tabatha dedwin #tabbie dedwin #dodgy dawkins #this is the hill im dying on #thank you

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nny11writes · 4 years

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Shadow Weaver, One Good Thing, and Moral Shades of Gray

Some Season 5 rambling for whoever wants it regarding Shadow Weaver, her actions, and the end of her character arc.

I might revisit this later more from her perspective, that scene (you know the one) felt very complex to me and I have a few different feelings about it, this is one of them.

Spoilers below the cut!

Okay, I really loved Shadow Weaver this season. I’ve loved her every season, she’s such a great character and her concept, animation, and voice acting all work flawlessly together to breathe some real life into her. I just love her! Great bad guy!

And this season? No one is letting her fucking breath without body slamming her.

It was one of the things I loved about her interactions with everyone, that she’d say something and immediately get told off. No one was falling for her shit. And you can see the way she’s super annoyed and confused, amazing how much a mask can portray, “Excuse ME I’m a GOOD GUY now?????” No one was forgiving her, no one liked her, they barely even tolerated her. I feel like it was wearing her down. I haven’t re-watched yet, but I think we saw Weaver with or near cups several times, but regardless, for sure when Catra found her she was drunk. She was half fucking slurring as she drank at what could be the end of the world. It was a rather pathetic sight, and now the joke about Shadow Weaver being drunk at 8AM makes more sense. This is just some stuff to keep in mind as we mosey along.

Noelle has talked before about shades of moral gray in the series and how people can shift and move along that line, and how people can also still be good people making bad choices or bad people making good choices.

I think Shadow Weaver is being used to display that. She is a few baby steps away from the beyond Vanta Black of Horde Prime. She is not a good person, she is not a hero; even if some of the things she’s done are good for others or could read ‘heroic’.

There was also a running theme this season of “One Good Thing”.

Catra is an obvious one, “I just want to do one good thing in my life!” And she goes from thinking she’s made a heroic sacrifice of sorts by saving Glimmer to getting the chance to actually move forward. And even if her steps faltered, Catra moved forward and did far more than just one good thing.

Hordak had a few moments of getting to see him lower his walls with Entrapta, but the thing that stuck out to me was his face as he held a happily cooing Adora. “Oh…okay, I guess- I guess this baby is mine? WAIT NO, CAN’T DO, ABORT, NO EMOTIONS, EMOTIONS ARE FOR HORDE PRIME, GET THIS THING AWAY FROM ME!” (Okay so that wasn’t all just his face, but that’s the gist). Hordak didn’t kidnap Adora, he went where sensors showed a portal would be and found a baby. He could’ve left her there, he could’ve done a lot of things, but he had a one good thing moment where he chose to take that baby with him. Cradled close. It’s a kind action in some ways, and not in others. I think Hordak hoped the baby might have an answer or solution to the portal (talk about high hopes buddy). But I think he also didn’t want to leave a baby to die alone in a field. It’s not a big great declaration or heroic moment, but it is still a good thing. Hordak’s one good thing.

I think Shadow Weaver has always held a twisted sort of care and love for Adora, and I also really think that Shadow Weaver would have held just as disgusting and awful a brand of ‘love’ for Catra if Catra had done/been what she’d wanted (which let’s be real was unrealistic and was a bar she would’ve kept moving). Shadow Weaver’s love is not pure. Perhaps as Light Spinner it could have been. As Light Spinner she was still an awful person willing to use anyone including children to get what she wanted. She wasn’t a good person. But even bad people can feel true love for others. I’m not saying that her love was pure or was always good intentioned as Light Spinner, just that I think she had the capability for it. But once that entity/parasite consumed her? Once she let her lust for power overwhelm her basic humanity? No. I don’t think her love would have been good in any form FOR SURE after that.

So her insistence that, “Didn’t you hear? I’m one of the good guys now.” rings just that much more hollow and cracked. Her motivations have always been selfish and her choices rarely take other’s into account beyond ‘how can I use this to my advantage’. Her kindness is faked, her goodness is incidental, her love is poison, everyone else knows that. Everyone else treats her the way they should, cautiously at best and hostile as needed. But Shadow Weaver doesn’t get that. She truly believes that she’s a good person now and is baffled that no one else will believe her and if frustrated/upset that she can’t even go ‘pure evil’ because she doesn’t have the legs to stand on for it. “I’m a good guy,” fuck you.

I think this shows with Catra. She’s still an absolute bitch and a half to Catra, and again I’m not saying what she did or said was good or right. But I think Shadow Weaver had a few moments of legit thinking, “Okay, fine, gotta tone this shit down because I’m a good guy.” She was always in control of her behavior and this was such a fine razor to cut with. It’s like the idea of an abuser who just “loses control” and destroys things then apologizes. It’s never their things they destroy and they don’t help to clean up or replace anything. The apology is a lie. They never lost control, they knew what they were doing. Same with Shadow Weaver. It was disturbing to watch her interact neutrally or her warped ass version of nicely with Catra. Because we all know it’s not that Shadow Weaver was out of control before, so we know she could have acted this way the whole time. It still wouldn’t have been good. But I think going from torturing kids and threatening them with death, to basically cold indifference is a half step forward and a full step sideways. It still would’ve caused harm, it still would’ve left destruction in its wake but a different kind of it. I don’t know, I just thought this was a wonderfully god awful way to show that. It also shows that she thinks she can either smooth things over or control the situation, which good luck with that.

Got distracted a hot second there, my example in this is actually when she grabs Catra to cover her mouth. It’s a move that if literally anyone else had done it wouldn’t have felt so fucking skeevey. But it’s Shadow Weaver physically touching Catra, her favorite chew toy. Catra has a very justified reaction to that, and you can still see the wheels turning in Weavers head. “Ungrateful, I’m trying to save you, I’m a good guy!” Fucking hell this lady.

So here we are, with a genuinely awful and bad person who believes they’re a good person now and trying to pantomime what they think a good person would do. With her very twisted version of “love” and the realization coming ever closer that she’s not in control of anything, no one trusts her, and no one likes her. I think she absolutely is thinking about her legacy right here, I think she is definitely trying for one last manipulation to put a big underscore on “Shadow Weaver was a good guy”.

I also, however, think she manipulates so well because she always draws a grain of truth into what she’s saying.

My example of this is her “You remind me of myself and I wanted you to be better, stronger than me.” Bullshit. Catra might have reminded Shadow Weaver vaguely of herself, but the rest is pure bullshit. Shadow Weaver doesn’t hate herself and certainly never did shit to make Catra a ‘better and stronger’ person. It’s 90% lies, but that 10% helps her sell her abuse.

So I think in her final moments there, Shadow Weaver does some complex mental gymnastics. She knows that Adora has to make it to the heart for anyone to survive. She knows that Adora loves Catra and that Catra loves Adora. She may know that if she doesn’t save Catra it is very likely that Adora will very likely not survive. Adora has always been ‘distracted and pulled down’ by Catra, so now she needs her ‘crutch’. I think Shadow Weaver also knows that once this is all done, no one will have a use for her and I don’t think she wants to face a world where she has no power and no control.

So she steps forward and puts one last manipulative play into motion.

And I think she sells it with a semi truth.

I’ve always thought it was interesting that even after joining the Rebellion that Shadow Weaver seemed so dismissive of Catra. Even as Catra was steam rolling them in Season 4. That Shadow Weaver didn’t even have a moment of, “Well damn, don’t like you still but I guess there was something competent and worthwhile underneath it all.” I can’t even remember if she mentions Catra at all by name when they aren’t in the same room together.

I think that Shadow Weaver was impressed, to some degree. She had always seen Catra as a pest, a gnat flying in her face and distracting Adora. Worthless, small, weak, and dumb. I think seeing how far Catra actually does make it is impressive to her. Not “oh wow that’s amazing!” impressive. More like, “huh, okay then” with a side of bitchiness. I think she never mentions Catra directly because of that. She hates Catra. She doesn’t want to admit she’s impressed by anything Catra’s done. She hates her and hates it and hates the whole thing.

So when Shadow Weaver removes her mask (definitely to play on them seeing her as a person first and not a monster) (although I think it also is a very good way to remind the audience that monsters are human too and that is far scarier to deal with, think about those photos of Nazi’s smiling on their weekend away from work where they helped kill thousands) and says, “I am so proud of you, Catra.”

90% is a lie, 10% is truth. Shadow Weaver might not think that’s the ratio, she might really be buying her own line. That’s something to explore another time perhaps.

And then she goes out in a blaze of glory with no need to face her own bleak and uncertain future, ‘protecting’ Adora, who she holds a dark and twisted affection for, and secures her legacy as a good guy. One final, “I fucking told you so”.

Shadow Weaver’s death is not a redemption. I think she hopes it is, and knows that even if it isn’t, Catra and Adora can never deny the impact she had on shaping them. That they’ll never really be free of her, and therefore no one else will either.

She will never truly have to face the consequences of what she’s done. For all that the other characters shut her down, no one gave her the true blue knock down drag out no holds barred VIBE CHECK she deserved. And without that this ending is very unsatisfying for some. For others that missing piece adds.

My take?

She’s a bad person, doing her One Good Thing, not realizing that it doesn’t take her from bad to good. Her sacrifice is, in this way, in vain. She’s a bad guy and will be remembered as such. She did her one good thing.

She’s still a monster.

#Shadow Weaver #She Ra #SPOP #spop spoilers #spop spoiler #season 5 #s5 spoiler #s5 spoilers #she ra season 5 spoilers #she ra season 5 spoiler #I love Shadow Weaver #she is an excellent bad guy #is this my first fandom breakdown/meta?#...#it might be

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severalspoons · 3 years

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Eye of Michael Discord Update

My friends continue to be hilarious.

Tumblr is kinda like having a diary except you can get validation. -- @pinkskyredclouds

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I feel bad for Cloud. He's dealt with all kinds of crazy shit. Monsters. Horrible massages. An evil entity. Cross-dressing. -- @pinkskyredclouds

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Solution to zombie nightmares: Have them salute and watch their arms fall off. -- Our Legato

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Hey! It's not a Trigun tale if someone isn't depressed. -- @mrhyde786

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They like to show their love by chopping their close loved ones arms off. – Dagdaddy, explaining how Knives and Darth Vader are similar

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Freud was right about one thing, though - having parents will fuck you up somehow. -- @ragtagbunchofmisfitism

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The entire plot of Trigun could have been prevented with good parenting, the end -- @ragtagbunchofmisfitism

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he's a sweet person.. but he's the harbinger of black holes. -- Our Vash’s description of Vash

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I need a hero / I’m holding out for a heeeero til the morning liiiiight / He’s goootta be strong and he’s goootta be fast/ And he’s gotta be ready for killing tiiime! -- Vaki

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Why when I was a kid, everyone was prepared for everything! Typhoons, earthquakes, and customers who go to a store to buy what it sells! –Vaki

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I’m not supposed to do what’s expected. --Vaki

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Me: when Vash acts like an idiot, he's largely just pretending to be anime Rem.

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@mrhyde786: Everything’s going to hell for everyone in Eden.

@vash-crybaby-stampede: ::hands you a basket:: Something to put Hell into.

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Grape medicine tastes like death and the tears of small children. -- @pinkskyredclouds

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She’s cheer captain and the ghost of Wolfwood’s on the bleachers... -Me

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Potatoe tomato. -- Our Vash

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Two heads are better than cooked well done. -- Our Milly, screwing up a proverb

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Wish I knew what Knives said in the vid. But knowing him, it’s either about Vash or vermin. The big Vs. -- Dagaddy

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@mrhyde786: Okay. Thank goodness. So Actual Knives is off elsewhere, and Vash is cuddling a corpse.

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Our Legato: (re: a plot point in an old rp where Knives’ body is brought in) Hey kids wanna see a dead body?

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Not a fanfic without Vash and donuts. -- Vaki

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Dear Brothering intensifies. -- Vaki

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Me: Knives did COVID.

Dagdaddy: Knives caused 2020

@mrhyde786: Damn it Knives.

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like ... maybe if having kids was seen as something like a prize... maybe people would work harder to treat them better??? -- @vash-crybaby-stampede

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a brain divided against itself can't stand. –me

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Dagdaddy, on having cancer: “The ticket to your future is always blank, and as for me, well, it’s complicated.”

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“I missed something while away. Knowing you all, it was meaningless.” -- Holiday Knives (Dagdaddy)

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:briefly wonders if eating garbage would technically be a form of cannibalism in Knives' eyes. He dismisses the ludicrous thought.: -- The Superior Legato Bluesummers

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“Hey there, Vash. You can stop hiding behind this other Knives’ ego.” --Holiday Knives (Dagdaddy)

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@pinkskyredclouds: I heard that he wasn't actually an absent parent by choice, he died when Cloud was young, but i’m not sure how canon that is Me: hmm....that would be sad. was he supposed to be shinra or something? @pinkskyredclouds: We don't know. That's the thing he could've literally been anyone. Involved with Shinra? Possibly Me: It could have even been... ::dramatic pause:: ...your mom.

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“Doubt isn’t a sin,” Vash said, “It’s just a part of being human.” Nick had said that during one of their philosophical debates, and it stuck with him. -- Me

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Me: (Talking about Vash’s beliefs) ...But it's so different in manga vs. anime. Anime he clings to them, makes them his identity, and tries to force them on everyone else. He's like the Christian people bothering you on the sidewalk. "do you have a minute for Jesus?" no, f*** off

Dagdaddy: Knives: Do you have time to die?

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@vash-crybaby-stampede: you don't get a toy with your Kinder eggs? not even on the side?

Me: nah, someone might choke and their parents might sue

Dagdaddy at 2:16 PM: Lmao They made it illegal because you couldn’t get a gun in one

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I'm teaching you fuckers how to english and write a paper wether you like it or not lmao -- @vash-crybaby-stampede, telling me what I should say to my group members for a class project === @vash-crybaby-stampede: whose wedding? Dagdaddy: Uhhh tbh might happen to my mom and her bf Me: lol "happen to.” "What happened? I feel like I was hit by a truck." "A wedding happened to us, baby." "Oh. I guess we're married now" === Dog poop is a blessing in disguise. You can save it and throw it at your enemies to assert your dominance. -- Dagdaddy ===

What if you take dog poop, a butter knife, spread it on toast, layer it under a thick coat of Nutella, and feed it to your worst enemy to assert your dominance? -- Dagdaddy === "I don't snore, Broomhead." He mumbled out from over his cigarette. The biggest lie in the history of lies. Everyone snores. -- @vash-crybaby-stampede‘s Wolfwood

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@ragtagbunchofmisfitism: and I didn't quite sit on it. more like, i was reaching across my bed and my leg was laying across the keyboard

Me: like a cat

@ragtagbunchofmisfitism : I DON'T HAVE CATS FOR LEGS OKAY! STOP TRYING TO SPREAD A SCURRILOUS RUMORS

Me: BUT YOU WOULD LOOK SO MUCH BETTER WITH CATS FOR LEGS (EVERYONE WOULD)

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hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon · 3 years

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Hear me out ----> SPN/Gravity Falls AU

A while back I saw a post(that i cannot find again, much to my chagrin) that listed a bunch of things Grunkle Stan did that have extreme Dean energy (this includes a brief but sincere attempt to make Jurassic Park real) and now a Gravity Falls AU lives in my head featuring:

Dean as Stan, who left home when he was twenty-one after a massive fight with his parents and Sam over Sam’s college shit and was a drifter for seven years until Sam called him and said he needed help in this podunk town in Oregon

Sam as Ford, who did manage to get out and go to college, met Kevin(as McGucket), and proceeded to do some real shady work with eldritch beings that resulted in both of them proceeding to get visions of some messed up shit, which causes Kevin to quit the project, leaving Sam to call Dean to Gravity Falls....we all know what happens next, Sam falls through an inter-dimensional portal and Dean is like “Okay I live here now, gotta figure out how to get Sam back”. Problem is, he only has one journal and needs two more. Where could they possibly be?

Flash-forward about twelve years; cult survivors, podcast hosts, and sorta-siblings Anna and Cas are driving up to Oregon to look at the weird shit present in Gravity Falls/The Mystery Shack and their shitty car breaks down. Cas staying to supervise the car while Anna goes and scopes out some potential material has nothing to do with the hot tourist trap guy who happens to be a mechanic, it doesn’t Anna.

Cue the pilot incident where Anna almost becomes Queen of the Gnomes and Cas gets to drive a golf cart and gnomes are defeated with leaf blowers. Car’s still broken and there is obviously a lot of weird shit going on here so why not hang out for the summer?

More below the cut, including recurring characters and some plot lines

Featuring such recurring characters as:

-Cassie Robinson my beloved, small town writer who desperately wants to break into the big time. Writes a combination of political and social critiques and the standard local stuff. We get introduced to her in the second episode, where Anna and Cas discover that she built the Gobblewonker in attempt for publicity so that someone will read the Gravity Falls Tooter(yes i just made up the name of the town’s newspaper) She regularly appears when Anna and Cas are researching local history or when a robot comes to threaten the Shack because Dean owes her money again.

-Claire, Kaia, Alex, and Patience as the resident teenage nuisances who nominally work at the Shack but actually mostly cause a lot of problems for the local-definitely gay-sheriffs. Claire and Cas are almost definitely related but they don’t know this at first, a minor plot point near the end of season one is figuring out that they are in fact related and the shocking realization that Claire likes Anna better. Anna is pretty good friends with all of them and Cas is minorly terrified, as you should be with teenage girls who live in the woods and absolutely know how to throw knives. Alex being a pyschic is a major plot point of season two especially after they become friends with Kevin and realize that hey, the shit of twelve years ago is happening again except it’s spreading to people who aren’t even involved this time.

-For that matter, collection of pyschics Missouri, Pamela, Alex, and Kevin who regularly find out weird pieces of information that sometimes become plot relevant and sometimes do not at all.

-Jody and Donna who also only do their job nominally because ACAB and mostly just maintain trails and shit around town cause they used to be park rangers but being sheriffs pays more and also they can make sure no one gets arrested for stupid shit. They regularly show up in like the weirdest places which Donna always defends as ‘we’re on a date’. No one questions this.

-Victor Henrikson as the investigating FBI agent in season two who is just like “i don’t know what the fuck is going on here but I KNOW it’s sketchy what is wrong with this town” because yes there is a witch here her name is Rowena and yeah she brews potions and stuff during the full moon no one sees anything wrong with this at all except Henrikson who was prepared to arrest a nutty drifter building a doomsday device but not prepared to deal with a whole town of people who absolutely believe in ghosts. His partner is Billie, who, like in the show, doesn’t think that some people should get to break rules whenever the fuck they want and is thus absolutely ready to rain justice down on this crazy white boy who think’s he’s gonna end the world. I kinda love her perspective cause it’s like, okay just because someone is the protagonist of the story doesn’t mean they’re special.

-Charlie and Ash as the only people in town who get wifi on a regular basis and thus show up when there’s some kind of need for tech or phone calls. Running gag that nothing works tech wise unless one of them is in the vicinity, with the exception of TVs. There is also absolutely the episode where they play a game of D&D in real life and Charlie has never been happier but Dean and Ash absolutely rig it because they suck.

-Bela Talbot in the role of Pacifica Northwest cause she’s a bitch and I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

-Kelly Kline my beloved, who’s the liason for the local Yakama tribe(cause I read a headcanon that she’s Native and that lives in my head rent free baby) who regularly reminds people that certain things are not for you to touch, there’s got to be respect there. This theme stays pretty constant throughout the show cause while after awhile Cas kinda forgets about the podcast he’s supposed to be co-hosting, Anna is still on top of things and trying to collect stories so she and Kelly butt heads a lot while Cas and Jack(who’s like eight) discuss frogs and bees in great detail.

-The Banes twins who comprise the other half of the witch activity in this town and who are very very nice but you do not want to fuck with them whatsoever. They show up extremely often and always give very strange but specific excuses to why they are certain places such as “checking the frequencies of the energy in this location” and that’s a running gag for awhile until it turns out in season 2 that they’ve been aware of the machine Dean’s rebuilding for awhile now and they’re working on protective measures to keep everyone safe no matter what comes out of it this time.

(Also, to compensate for the fact that Sam and Dean are not twins and thus someone would probably realize that there is a different dude living in the weird house in the woods, the Banes go a little Society of the Blind Eye and modified people’s memories. Because they want Dean to get the portal right and then shut it down permanently once things are the way they’re supposed to be again)

-Benny who is absolutely still a vampire, he runs the diner. The vampirism is a well-established fact and no one questions it, in fact Anna finds it hot.

Plot Lines of Season One Include:

-Bela Talbot whom I love attempting to buy/steal/destroy the Shack because she knows there’s some funky machinery down there and a lot of weird artifacts that she could make another fortune selling, yes she summons demons so that she can figure out where the deed to the place is, yes Anna gets to punch her in the face at one point because “These are my friends, you bitch!”

-Cas trying to decipher some of the stuff in Sam’s journals and figure out who the hell wrote them. This involves him thoroughly annoying basically everyone in town except Kelly because they are weird best friends who absolutely have long conversations about the difference between local mythologies and urban legends.

-Anna sincerely making friends for like the first time in her life and deeply enjoying being a kind of weird aunt to the local girl gang and the person who brings Rowena gossip and does have a weird love/hate relationship with Bela going. Like, I mentioned in the beginning that Anna and Cas are cult survivors, their social weirdness and then re-joining the world is absolutely discussed. Are they choosing some of the weirdest people ever to base their social knowledge on? Yes. They don’t care.

-Subplot of Dean genuinely trying to get Cas to go out with him but Cas does not realize this whatsoever so they’re just both awkward as fuck. Running gag of Dean walking up to Cas all smooth and trying to ask him out but Cas just...does not get slang and thinks Netflix and chill really does mean Netflix and chill. They end up watching Wynonna Earp.

#spn gravity falls au #cazi writes #spn #gravity falls #this has lived in my head for five days let me rest #but this is excellent no?#I love it but that may be because i have extremely niche crossover ideas

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reallyginnyf · 4 years

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quaranmemes for quarantines

I was tagged by @sparksearcher, thanks, this is a good one. It’s also a long one, so apologies to mobile users and for the rest of you:

when was the last time you left your home?

We took a drive yesterday but only got out of the car once, at a local farm stand. The pig smell was ripe and there were eight other people milling around so we got back in the car immediately. My last time inside a place of business was on the 13th, a stock-up trip to Aldi. Everyone was wearing a mask and they were controlling the number of shoppers with a “one in, one out” method. I don’t anticipate another grocery run for a few weeks.

what was the last thing you bought?

It was an onlline order of a 10-pack of washable cotton masks just this morning. I’ve crocheted some nifty washable masks using dishcloth yarn but without filter material they’re useless because of the holes in the work. But I think a combo of a crocheted mask with a filter and a cotton cloth mask would be effective.

is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

My brain is a jerk. I’m an introvert plus I’m agoraphobic so I’ve never minded staying home. It’s cozy and safe. Now that I can’t go anywhere, I literally want to go ALL OF THE PLACES ALL OF THE TIME. I’ve been having a tough time emotionally because everything feels dangerous now and I worry constantly...about my older high-risk husband, about my elderly parents, about my teenager’s future and on and on.

who are you spending quarantine with?

Russ, when he’s not scheduled to work, and Zack.

do you have pets to keep you company?

I don’t and honestly? I’m happy to not have a pet right now. I’m sure they provide welcome comfort but It’s stressful enough trying to make sure there are enough food and supplies in the house for the three of us plus making sure my elderly parents are provided for without having to plan bulk-buying trips for pet food and other things. I get to see Buddy and Bonnie next door and Paco and Lucky across the street plus it’s baby squirrel and baby bunny season in the garden.

what are your current responsibilities?

Planning meals, planning shopping trips, bulk cooking so we have freezer meals available just in case, keeping an eye on Zack with his online classes since he’s not feeling particularly motivated atm, lots of laundry when Russ is working, cleaning and sanitizing the house, planting and maintaining our flower, vegetable and herb gardens, keeping on top of the budget, making sure bills are paid, trying to keep in touch with friends and family and trying to keep my sanity. I am succeeding at only a few of these.

do you have a room to yourself?

Guest bedroom sometimes when Zack isn’t using it for online class. I’ve mainly been escaping to our unfinished basement because I love it down there. We have bookcases and chairs and lamps and an area rug and a super old TV/VHS combo and it’s always cool and quiet. I do my workouts or listen to podcasts and crochet or put in some ridiculous old movie from our VHS collection and just escape for a while.

are you exercising?

Some? Whatever viral thing I had in March caused a major POTS flare so my heart rate dictates how much I can exercise each day. Right now my O2 sat is hanging in around 94% and my resting pulse rate is in the 90s, sometimes the low 100s, so I have to pace myself. Just walking around can spike it to the 130s. I can’t do my favorite 90s workout MTV: THE GRIND, sad face. So it’s yoga or recumbent bike for now.

town, country, city?

We’re a city, population around 14,000, but in reality we’re a suburb of St. Louis.

how’s your toilet paper supply?

We’re wealthy. I started getting nervous about coronavirus back in the middle of February so every time I went shopping I picked up another pack. I didn’t hoard, just made sure I bought extra so we have about 45 rolls in the house right now.

what’s the worst thing that you had to cancel?

Two in-state college visits and one out-of-state visit. We’ve been planning and saving money for almost a year and had to cancel them all. Zack isn’t sure he wants to reschedule because he doesn’t know what the college experience will realistically look like for him in 2021. Which is logical but I’m still sad.

what’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel?

Dental work. It’s necessary but not emergent so it’s not being rescheduled until later this summer.

who do you miss the most?

This will sound perverse, because they’re the two people who drive me the absolute bat-shit craziest, but I miss visiting my parents. They won’t call me, refuse to let me shop for them, do not come to the door when I drop off whatever supplies I’m assuming they need and wouldn’t think of driving by our house even though we live less than a mile apart. I’ve not actually seen them since the end of February so I have no idea how they’re doing. They could be dead or hospitalized for all I know.

do you have any new hobbies?

Hell, no. I’m neglecting the few hobbies I have, I’m not thinking of new ones. What would I do? Learn a language, learn to play an instrument? I’m lucky if I remember to take a shower every day.

what are you watching the most?

I can’t watch scripted TV or movies right now because I sit there and think “I'm watching celebrities who make more money than I will ever have in my life and they’re safe from the pandemic so FUCK THEM” which kind of gets in the way of my enjoyment. I signed up for Ovid TV because I love documentaries but I can’t watch those, either. The pandemic is an emotional overlay of everything I try to consume right now, visual or written, so I’ve been going back and re-watching everything on LGR’s YouTube channel, especially the Sims Let’s Play videos. His Duke Nukem voice and the stupid shit he does like creating Fartwhistle Dingleprop and his Hat of Shame or putting the Sims’ toilet in the middle of a hedge maze hits the right spot for me now.

are you still going to work?

I’ve been out of work a long time. Russ is still working since he works for a public utility, at an evil, evil coal-burning power plant but hey, the electricity has to be generated somehow. The other options are nuclear, but Callaway scares the shit out of most Missourians and no one wants to pay the increased rates for green energy, so here we are. His team has been divided in three and they rotate three 12-hour days in a row and then seven or eight days off in between. He’s getting his full pay and I am enormously grateful.

what are you out of?

We’re honestly okay on everything. I started stocking up in mid-February, bought a chest freezer and filled it up and made sure we had plenty of everyone’s shelf-stable favorites. Plus I stocked up on paper towels and disinfecting wipes and hand soap and toiletries. I’m starting to get a little low on eggs but a local restaurant is selling grocery items during the shutdown so I can get a flat when I need them.

have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine?

Nope. I’m allergic to hair dye and my stylist hasn’t found a formulation yet that works for me and I’m not messing with henna. So it’s the same old gray + mousy brown. It’s lovely. I’m letting my hair grow because my emotional state is precarious enough. If I do a hack job with kitchen scissors and cringe every time I look in the mirror, that’s not helping. It’s about an inch past my shoulders now and my fringe is long enough to be swept to the side but I have to hold it in place with barrettes because it’s heavy so I look like a sad old scene girl.

tagging: @this-lioness, @englishsongbird, @veradune, @maresdotes, @impreciselanguage, @stackcats, @resting-meme-face, @buddhish and seriously, all my mutuals because I want to read your answers but I’m having trouble remembering usernames or I remember them but I can’t spell the damn things and I just don’t have the energy to look anyone up, please forgive me.

#personal #meme #ask game #not a game really #but nice and distracting for about an hour #thanks #tag me if you do this please

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lacklusterswirl · 5 years

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Montagne’s Protection

Montagne woke up in a cell with his hands and feet bound. Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse... well, they do.

aka Angst for a friend on their request :) (~2.9k words)

Warnings: Hostage, child injuries, injuries, death, waterboarding, gun fights/gun violence, mission gone wrong.

“Montagne!” Twitch’s scream echoed across an empty field all the way to Glaz’s ear.

Through his scope, he watched in horror as they dragged the unconscious man to a truck. He shot at a few of the men, killing them instantly, but he couldn’t keep up with the sheer number of them.

“Glaz! Track the truck!” Thatcher’s orders came through and Glaz quickly locked in the bullet, aiming for his own teammate.

Breathe in. Hold fire. Breathe out. Between heartbeats just like he practiced.

A heavy voice came through, “I have a signal.” He has never felt so pleased to hear Thermite’s voice as he was in that moment.

His eyes opened without him knowing. It was hard to tell when he was awake or asleep when everything was dark. Slowly, his eyes got used to the darkness, and he could make out bars in front of him. With a grunt, he got himself up onto his elbows. He couldn’t help but groan at the pain in his chest as he turned to the side. He didn’t remember much, other than the pain of the impact from getting thrown to the side after a C4 was tossed at them. His shield… Le Roc was missing. He flexed his hands and relaxed a little at the feeling of armoured pads on himself.

“Merde.”

But then he saw his helmet tossed on the ground with his balaclava beside it… so they knew his face. This would prove problematic then. There were two parts to secrecy for him, one, his face, the other, his name. And his dog tags were gone too.

He stayed lying on that cold, concrete floor in that half-awake state, wondering if he could even move properly. All around him, and even in his own mind, he could see darkness, and the tendrils reaching out and grasping onto his arms. Perhaps if he stayed even more still, they would pass him, and he would wake up to his friends smiling down at him.

That’s not what happened.

Instead, he woke up next with chains around his arms and feet, and realized that he was no longer on the floor. He laid there, spread out, and defenseless against those white masks and their cruel eyes.

“Giles “Montagne” Touré. I see why they call you mountain now.”

The man who was speaking was wearing a mask with the word ‘muse’ painted on it in red, dripping down the mask like blood. God he just hoped it wasn’t his blood. Muse nodded his head, and a table of tools was brought out for him to look at. There were whips, car batteries, and an array of differently-sized knives – each with their own purpose he’s sure.

“Putain,” he growled, tugging on his chains. Nothing moved, as he should’ve seen coming.

Muse stalked his way from where Montagne’s feet were, all the way so he was right above his head. “You special force guys are all the same. You glare until you close your eyes, and then you all die without saying anything. Boring. But what is fun, is seeing what exactly you’re scared of.”

There was a hissing noise, and the white masks all leave. A light, sweet scent came in and soon, all Montagne could see were the flowery fields he played soccer on as a young boy. He can feel the petals on his fingertips as he bent down to pick one for his mother.

Maman… pour toi…

A cold splash on his face, and he wakes up and realizes that he’s being held at an angle. And he knows what coming next.

“How did you find us? Who did Rainbow have on the inside?”

Montagne held his tongue and breathed. The water that came over his face felt like it was going to fill him up completely, going in through his nose so he coughs, but then get more water through his mouth as he does so.

And it’s a pattern. Right as he’s about to pass out, it stops. A question gets asked again, and he gives that same glare. Then the water starts again. He didn’t know how long it had been, but when it finally stopped, he was left passed out on the floor, in a puddle of the water that remained.

If only he were laying face down.

The next thing he hears is the crying voice of a young girl. When… wh—it dawned on him. This wasn’t a dream. He woke up to see the silhouette of a young girl sitting in the opposite corner of him. When he stirred, she screamed, causing the thundering of feet to come down the stairs.

It wasn’t Muse this time. It was his little henchmen who were too afraid to approach Montagne when he was awake, and had apparently went on their own little trip just now.

“I told you we should’ve taken the boy. He was much older. He wouldn’t be causing such a shit storm at night. We’ll be found out if this keeps happening.”

“Shut up, you know that girls sell for more. We need the money.”

“Fuck man, not worth if we… HEY!”

Montagne had half crawled, and half stumbled his way over to where the girl was cowering from him.

“Shhhh, mon chérie… restes ici. Tu peux dormis maintenant. Je te protège.” And she calmed down to a sniffle when she realized that this giant man wasn’t here to hurt her. He pet her hair and whispered as he saw out of the corner of his eye, what the terrorists were grabbing. He barely had time to mentally prepare himself for—

THONK

—that. It didn’t hurt that much through all the armour he wore, but it still made him collapse back on to the ground. The metal bat clattered to the ground and the other terrorist started scolding the first for causing the girl to cry again.

“As long as he’s not causing us trouble. Two birds, one stone.”

“Alright,” a little wad of spit landed next to Montagne, “just know that if you do anything wrong… well, the people who buy from us don’t mind a few… beauty marks’”

Montagne gritted his teeth, but stayed still. Once the footsteps faded again, he pulled away and started treating her for injuries. They were mainly a few scratches here and there, but otherwise, she was alright. She spoke neither English nor French so he just hummed when he wanted her to sleep.

Perhaps getting to know the girl was the wrong choice. Well, not perhaps. It seems to be that it WAS the wrong choice. Every time he fought back, nearly escaped, or broke free, she would be held at gun or knife point, and he had to give up his fight for her. He took punches, shielded her with his own body when they threw things at her, and just kept up the hope that his team would come back for him.

“Location confirmed.” Twitch was typing on a laptop as they were on their way to the location where they had finally located them. The pings from the tracker led them all over the world until they realized that Montagne didn’t have his shield anymore. From the cell the got the information from they formed a mixed-team op, with support from JTF 2 since the actual location was near an abandoned cottage near Lake Simcoe. Twitch just got confirmation from local law enforcement, and here they were.

Ciel was frowning while re-reading mission details with a cold intensity in his eyes that was so off putting, that it made Twitch keep quiet again. Tap tap… tap tap… The tap tap that was staring again was from Rook this time as he kept looking between Lion and Doc. Even Pulse was looking down at his feet instead of making jokes like normal. The sixth Rainbow op sat with his sniper ready, and a wave of guilt coming off of him that was so strong that he couldn’t look anyone in the eye.

Even if he wasn’t Rainbow, Ciel was team leader of this group. And it was time for him to say something.

“Tell me about this man. Why does he mean so much to you all?”

“You let her go, putain, and I will consider putting a bullet only in your head when I get free.”

The girl’s right arm was trapped in a grip so tight, that Montagne could see purple edges starting to form. She was fighting against it, but it was no use.

“Our first client has asked about her,” came the snide reply.

Then, they turned back and walked upstairs, ignoring the rattling sound as it felt like Montagne was shaking the very prison itself.

“Merde,” he muttered, but now was not the time. A glint caught his eye in the dim room. The keys were on a table instead of on the wall like normal. They were out of arms reach when he stretched it out though. What to do, what to do… He still had his armour plates. He fashioned a rope-like object that he then managed to slide the entire table over to him, weakened muscles straining the entire time.

With a hope in his heart he hasn’t felt in what must’ve been days, he unlocked his door and slowly crept out. There were no weapons on the table, but no matter. He made his way up the stairs and heard footsteps immediately to his right. He plastered himself up against the wall and watched as the shadow crept up, more and more. Only one… perfect.

He wrapped his arms around the man’s neck and snapped it, quickly moving the body into the bushes. The bastard only had a knife and pistol on him though. No matter, he heard cries coming from the little girl upstairs, and he followed them through the hallways until he ended up beside the room. With his ear to the wall, he started listening in on their conversation.

“They did what?!” An unknown voice boomed loud enough that Montagne didn’t actually need to be near the wall to hear their conversation.

“We’ve started a self-destruct code because this facility has been found by JTF 2—”

“How?”

“Sir, we need to you follow us. We can guarantee your safety and anonymity, but we need to leave before the building collapses.”

“And her?”

“We’ll take her too. You’ll get your money’s worth.”

The building rumbled, and the footsteps inside quickened their pace, matching his heartbeat as he stood by the door, knife in one hand, and a pistol in the other. The first man rushed out, and received a knife to the chest. He was dead before Montagne even revealed himself. He reached out for the dead man’s chest and used him as a shield while he pushed forward and shot the last two men down. The girl was back near the door, trembling, but alive. She looked Montagne in the eye, and even though he was covered in hot blood that was quickly cooling down and creating a sticky coat over his body, she hugged him.

“Come here.”

“我们去哪里啊?” Oh, how he wished he could learn another language…

“Je comprend pas…” he carefully carried her, making sure not to squeeze the bruises on her skin.

The shaking got stronger to the point where Montagne couldn’t walk properly.

Then, the ceiling fell.

Montagne curled his body around hers and knelt right there.

“What do you mean it collapsed?”

Their vehicles were moving still, despite needing to travel over the heavy layers of snow. Of all the times Glaz has met the Canadian Special Forces officer, this is the angriest he’s seen him.

“Get me a new line, and more back up, we’re taking the jets when we get to Checkpoint B.”

At the mention of jets, all JTF 2 ops stood up and gathered their equipment. Ciel turned and nodded at Doc.

“You’re with me, doctor. Rest of you, pair up and follow my guys. The situation’s… bad. The building has collapsed, and we can’t find your friend. Cham, take Pulse with you, Draco, take the sniper. We’re in the lead. Rest of you follow when you can.”

The JTF 2 ops got out of the stopped truck, which was slowing down more and more due to the prolonged snowfall, and ran over to snowmobiles. Ciel, with Doc holding onto him, raced off, far outpacing the rest of the ops. If the situation was less tense, he’s sure Doc would be terrified, but as they whizzed past all the others, Glaze could only see a glare on the doctor’s face.

He was third out of Rainbow to arrive on scene. Doc and Pulse were already scanning the area while the JTF 2 ops could be heard in the background, firing at remaining terrorist forces.

“Sniper, find a position. Help your friends,” his JTF 2 partner said before making the call to join up with Ciel and the other man. Glaz did so and moved to higher ground so he could use his scope to help him find his teammate.

Breathe in. Hold fire. Breathe out. Keep looking just like he was told to do.

Just as he saw the bright yellow outline, Pulse shouted, “DOC!” The rest of Rainbow, including the machinery and JTF 2 ops returned arrived on scene, and everyone reconvened where the Canadians were performing an extraction, with a worried Rook part of the team, giving advice where he could.

“Ciel…” Glaz murmured… The last time he felt so… so much… it was that cold gaze that was there to help him. This time was no different. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and a presence that has always said more than his words.

“I heard about what happened the night of. You did your best, but those forces were too much. Good job getting a tracker on at all actually.” It wasn’t helping. “Keep watch if needed.” If you don’t want to see for yourself. That’s what he really meant. And Glaz was tempted to take the offer.

With one last heave, the extraction team managed to get a large enough hole to shine a light down. Immediately, a small whimper came out, and a word that tugged on the edges of Glaz’s memory.

“救命啊!”

Ciel was first to launch into action, and despite Glaz’s guilt over what was happening, he understood the voice. The two of them watched as Doc reached his arms down the hole and came back up with a young girl. She was bloodied, eye-half lidded, and an arm and a leg were sticking up at angles that shouldn’t have been possible. The tears on her cheeks were caught in the light of their flashlights, and she strained away from everyone, including Doc, who was doing his best to carry her away.

“你没事吧？?” the Rainbow ops all looked over at Ciel who now had the girl’s full attention.

“叔叔还在下门.”

“Ciel?” Doc was waiting on a response.

“Uncle’s still down there,” he murmured, helping Doc place her onto a stretcher. To the girl, he whispered something, and gave Glaz a look.

“你好,” Glaz said, speaking a language he remembers learning a few years ago.

Ciel gave him a nod and Glaz followed as the girl was led off.

Doc, Pulse, and a few more JTF 2 ops were still trying to look into the hole. Glaz and the girl watched from the back near the jets until Doc broke down. He was on his knees and frozen still.

“Get her away, Glaz” Rook had taken a step back, and gave the duo a look, and Glaz just knew who this ‘uncle’ was.

But it was Twitch who gave it away, who was now sobbing into the arms of Lion. Even the arrogant, haughty Lion looked shaken by the view.

Glaz didn’t see anymore that night, but when they debriefed the next day with JTF 2, he saw it all. Rock smashed into the skull, bits of brain mixed in with the helmet on the floor, metal pipes speared through the body, even with the armour, and a shape any of them could easily recognize. A fetal position with his arms wrapped around something… or someone. The gun and knife found on him didn’t belong to him, but the marks on his wrists showed that he was indeed a prisoner. So, they pieced together the story from the pictures and the testimony of the little girl.

Montagne was already in a cell when the girl got there. He protected her, and helped her. When the ‘bad men’ took her away to another man, he came up and killed them all. Then, on their way to the door, the building collapsed. That was all the girl managed to get out before shock took over adrenaline, and she entered a surgical room, never to be seen by Glaz again.

It was the long way of saying that Montagne was dead. And no one could help him in his final hours.

Montagne felt the first pieces of rubble hit him, and then an immediate pain in his right shoulder. He curled tighter around the girl and looked up just in time to see a slab of the ceiling fall down on them.

I hope I did enough.

#r6s #rainbow six siege #r6s fanfic #fanfic #r6s montagne #r6s glaz #others are mentioned #my writing #my story #fanfiction #no edits :P

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catnip-smuggler-radio · 4 years

Text

A Ship of His Own: Part 1

Tray was sitting by the docks of the Kugane bay, letting the time just float away from early morning into late morning. He was resting on a bench with his pipe in his mouth and a book in his hands. The leather-bound book looked simple, almost as if it was a journal, but inside it was just a trashy romance novel by his favorite author. Tray often disguised his romance novels as something less obvious, but that didn’t change the fact that he enjoyed them. Though, for the last bell or so, he really hadn’t been reading. Though he was looking at the words on the page, he wasn’t seeing them. Rather his mind was wandering over yesterday’s events. After meeting with Jak’s twin Vynnie, the red-head had taken it upon himself to help try to heal the rift between them. At the time, it seemed the right thing to do. But why? Jak had commented he hadn’t known either long. In fact, he’d only met Vynnie for a bell or so by pure accident. He had answered because you helped folks you cared for. But, now, he wondered if it was more self-serving than that. Certainly the murderous trash-catte was a fan of happy endings. Most of the books he read ended in ‘Happily Ever Afters’ after all, mostly because life seemed so stingy with giving anyone a real, true happy ending. But part of him realized that he wanted to see if he could patch this rift between the twins not just for them, which he did want, but also because he wanted to see if it was in him to even be able to heal familial relations. He was curious if he would have been able to heal the relationship between him and his son. If there would have been hope for them had Yimir had not been slain. “Well, scupper me, you really are alive.” Tray perked his pierced ears as he turned from the book towards a large, Roegadyn woman with a mane of wild, shoulder-length grey hair that was walking towards him; a smile creased the wrinkles around her eyes. She was dressed in a white, cotton shirts and black trousers that were tucked into knee-high, brown boots. Over her shoulders was draped a thigh-length, green jacket with black lapels and buttons of solid gold. ((Rest under cut cause loooong))

“Ye didn’t think teh rumors of meh death were really real did ye?” Tray chuckled, tipping his pipe over and dumping the last of his moko onto the dock as he rose to his feet. He put the pipe and book away as he went to offer his hand to the roe. Instead of taking the hand, he woman came in and wrapped Tray in a strong hug, squeezing him hard. Tray wheezed as he heard his back popping when she lifted him off the ground. “I did actually.” she laughed. She popped a view more vertebrae as she squeezed and then returned Tray to the earth. The red-head took a moment to regain himself before he gazed up at her broad face and gave her a fanged smile. Dennlona Nedyrthota was probably the oldest friend Tray still had in the world. She had been his first captain almost twenty years ago when he’d shown up in Limsa seeking a life of adventure upon the seas. She’d taken him aboard her ship as a cabin boy and then, she’d eventually allowed him to rise to become first harpoon of her whaler. Tray had sailed on several of her whaling expeditions during the ten years he’d been a sailor and his nautical knowledge all stemmed from this woman. In a very real way, she was a second mother to him. Shortly before Tray had retired from whaling to raise turnips with his mate, Denn had transitioned from captaining vessels to running her own shipping company and eventually into the business of purchasing and selling ships. If you needed a ship, she could find you something for the right price. And right now Tray was in the market for a new one. “Ye know meh better den dat, Denn.” Tray snorted. “You think I would.” the roe replied, pausing to nod at his covered eye. “What happened there?” “Made a bad deal.” Tray answered and Denn raised a grey eyebrow as she fixed him with her golded eyes. “Way I hear it, you made a lot of bad deals. And a lot of enemies, Tray. Yer name’s on a lot of black lists back in Limsa and Ul’dah.” The red-haired miqo’te grunted. “So I’ve heard.” he flicked his pierced tail. “Trust meh, I didn’t want to go to ye but I need a ship to start makin’ gil again an; I don’t have a whole lot of contacts on dis side of teh sea.” Denn looked at him and then, slugged him in the chest hard enough to knock him onto his ass. “Oi!” he protested. “I taught you better then that, Tray.” Denn muttered. “I mean, the garleans -and- the monetarists? Did you really think pissing them all off was a good idea? And trying to establish a triad to boot? You’re a sailor, not a business miqo’te.” “Hey, I saw how much money ye was makin’ on land and wanted to give it a go.” Tray grunted, picking himself up. Denn paused and then laughed. “You’re still that same little shit kit I hired on all those years ago. Eyes, well eye now, bigger than your stomach.” She crossed her huge arms. “Suppose I actually did bring a ship all the way out here like you requested in your letter? Suppose I sell it to you today? What do you do with the ship? Way I see it, you’re blacklisted from most other companies and I’m risking tarnishing my reputation by selling to you.” “I use it to make money. Keep provin’ I’m teh best smuggler dis world ever seen.” he grinned before sticking his pierced tongue out at her. Quick as a viper, Denn caught his tongue in her fingers. Old as she was, she was still fast as lighting and Tray blinked at his former captain in alarm. “That comes out of your mouth again, I keep it, savvy?” Denn commented calmly as she let go. Tray flexed his jaw and nodded. “Look, Denn, I need dis ship. For me, okay? I lost everythin’ when teh garleans came down on meh. Everythin’. An’ I tryin’ to rebuild mehself. I’m working for a new company an’ need to carry meh weight. I need to be on teh sea, provin’ to mehself and dem I’m worth a damn, aight? I ain’t trying to rebuild meh criminal empire here. I’m just trying to make a livin’, feel teh sea spray on meh face, and maybe murder a few garleans in exchange for what deh did to meh and meh son.” Denn ground her teeth, clearly thinking as she studied her red-headed, -almost- adopted son. She had watched Tray go from a wild, rambunctious youth full of fire to a power-hungry criminal drenched in blood. She hadn’t enjoyed seeing it, even if she had been selling him trade galleons before it all came crashing down on Tray. Her relationship with him had actually hurt her business in the aftermath of Tray’s fall and she’d taken moons proving she’d distanced herself from him. Her business was still hurting from that. Yet, despite the personal financial loss, she still had a fondness for him, as if she couldn't help but see him as a young kit laughing in the rigging as he saw his first whale spouting off on the horizon. “You aren’t planning on rebuilding?” Tray shook his head. “Not to that degree. I been at teh top and fell. Saw a few spots on teh way down I’d rather set up shop instead.” he chuckled and wagged his pierced tail. Denn was silent. “I hear one word, one tale, of you making a bid to the top, I’ll sink you myself.” Denn grunted. “Cause I am not having you bring me, or anyone else you tie yourself too, down.” Tray spat into his had and offered it to Denn. She spat into hers and they shook. “Deal.” Tray agreed. “Alright then. I did bring a vessel all this way.” Denn explained as she freed her hand. “It’s not much, but your letter made it sound like this was exactly what you were looking for. Come on.” The tall woman turned and began walking towards the docks, weaving through sailors and merchants alike. Tray followed, taking two strides for every one of hers. “Still can’t believe you’re alive.” Denn chuckled after a few moments of awkward silence. “I -almost- didn’t come but I had to see if it was true.” “Glad ye did.” Tray answered as they turned to one of the smaller piers. They began passing moored vessels as they came to the end of a dock. “There she is.” Denn commented as they came around a large trade galleon to see the ship that rested in the galleon’s shadows. A two-masted brigantine lay moored alongside the docks. At just short of seventy feet in length, she was smaller than most of the ships Tray had sailed on in recent years but she was sleek and her bow was sharp. Speed had been the intent when her designers had laid down her hull and that was both a blessing and a curse. She was a bit more narrow than the average brigantine, which would reduce the amount of cargo she could carry. And, at only seventy feet, he’d only be able to mount ten guns so her bite would be minimal at best unless he went with twenty-four pound canons and that was a lot of extra weight he’d need to factor in when trying to stuff her full of wares. “So what do you think?” Denn commented as the pair climbed the gangplank and boarded the ship. “She was a prize back when she was made.” Tray said, running his hands over some of her rigging lines and feeling the crusted mildew eating away at the sinews. “She ain’t been well cared for, Denn.” Tray walked to her foremast and pressed his ear to it. He knocked several times. No stressed fractures inside the mast could be heard at least. “Her lines are rottin’, she’s got barnacles, and I can only imagine what her sails look like.” He looked up at the rolls of canvas overhead. “She wasn’t one of mine till recently.” Denn explained, leaning on the railing. “Picked her up a moon ago. Was going to do a rework in the drydocks but, you seemed to be in the market for something fast and she -is- that. Quick as silver she is.” Tray leaned back and looked up towards the helm. As he walked he stomped his boots, listening to her deck. She was made of solid wood that had aged well despite her former owner’s neglect. “I trust ye’ll be knockin’ down teh price since I’mma need to re-rig her, buy new sails, and scrape her clean.” He went over to the railing and peered at her hull. “Probably re-coat her too.” Denn pulled out a slip of paper and handed it too him. The miqo’te took it, read the quote, and snorted. “Ye can’t be serious, Denn! For dis price I could buy mehself a new sloop or even an ol’ galleon back in Limsa.” “Aye, you could, but this isn’t Limsa, and you have limited people that will see to you. Plus, I had to have a crew sail her out her for you, and they’ve got to ride back on my galleon when I leave.” Tray flicked his tail, looking around. “For this price, least ye could do would be leave me a dozen hands to help get her sea-worthy again.” he commented. “I’d be willing to spare some if you promise to get them back to me in Limsa once she’s back at sea.” Denn offered. “I can’t pay in full now.” Tray said. “I’ll need to take it on credit.” “If it was anyone else but you, I’d tell ‘them to walk a plank. I’ll take that offer, at ten percent interest.” “Five.” “Eight, final offer.” Tray chewed his lower lip as he explored the ship further. Denn watch him wander and explore for about half a bell before Tray approached her and nodded. “Alright. I’ll take her, with yer promise of some hands to help.” It was Denn’s turn to spit into her hand and offer it to Tray. He reciprocate the gesture. “Congratulations on your new ship, Captain.” Denn remarked with an amused grin. Tray felt his own face smiling, that title sounding good in his ears. ((Tray got a ship but now has to work on. Huzzah projects! Mentions of @miqojak and @miqo-vynnie ‘s characters based on rps cause that’s on his mind too!))

#Tray'ju #'Captain' Tray'ju #He's got a ship again!#even if it does need some work #plus he's got things to think about witht eh twins #[Brimestone and Blood]#rp #Balmung #Ship of His Own #long post #tray writes

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sirjustice238-blog · 4 years

Text

Form groups

Kebi dancing, kinda, in that song as if he has gotten a woman to eat from to liberate him and Enemies like Tychus and former school asociates, hard to get women as well as Dignitaries and hate neighbours now speak, what u got in store that if Mr white man had wanted to leave u could strungle ya-self without me telling China what am telling ya in Tumblr a/c sirjustice199, Stop dude and give thanks bro and seek ya most high in ya own ya. If they could have left looking at my house and giving me names would be better as if at all left their could be no iron sheets, cement and like glass or timber cutter. Some talk with their mouths big/wide open and their ears closed and saying the above on people yet is them ladden in unwise jealousy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnH5_0qAcRM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-AbEO6J8s0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTCDFy9hqxY

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=anyang+nyongo+talking+people+who+talk+with+wide+mouth+opened&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjwkfWew_vpAhVN8uAKHfEjBmAQsAR6BAgIEAE&biw=984&bih=658

Resort to the above, don’t insult others, if eating much or less or of this and that character, monitor yaself and form ya own groups as u aint import than the other class of people.

Nasa has made the E-airplane below based on what is described on the tumblr a/c above what about yours or just locating other houses and giving then names. Armored glass with bright led lights with lens glass to emit more hot rays to hit the gas inside the armored glass and alternator generator or inverter generator technology as described in kevinelson mondy FB a/c not wanting the best side of life minus none

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Caskets 4 security reason to avoid exhumation should be made like the gotten out parts of an electric socket get into the wall gadget as in the link below to avoid re-selling dude. Simplify everything as don’t struggle to work hard or struggle, the below good 4 plastic or metallic coffins which are cheap than wooden ones, buy the below caskets to avoid targeting others in ambush to make them loose their lives to provide markets 4 the below and 4 the wooden ones u can place a 6 Volts motor drill on the sides of the casket using a timer in that after the burial it switches on automatically to make holes on such caskets that can later be used as identification points as can not be sold to bury 1 again out of the holes made lest arrested dude. If poor admit dude and lets soldier on bro, don’t live in reproaches. Place a big drill shaft on the mouth to make such holes on the casket and the hind part on a big spring to push it forward as it makes such holes across the coffin dude. Malachi 4 another version to bring ya home

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/321866704603396272/

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=plastic+coffins+from+china+images&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjRi4eRxfvpAhWlyYUKHST-DZsQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=984&bih=658

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=metalic+caskets+from+china+images&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj0qZvAxfvpAhUSLBoKHWanCz0QsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=984&bih=658

https://www.gearbest.com/screwdriver-screwdriver-set/pp_009784884778.html

Katikati houses fellows mostly got Malagasy blood of bad character when they got none but can be good if basic necessity provided to them as in police or army and form the best forces as most are group lovers barring corruption. But they are not women lovers as don’t care about women after they slept with synonymous with USA as they don’t as well do their bed job good and most with other bloods love big life who aint Malagasy blooded, things on corner houses brings ya shit dude as rude and loving loud music and more i know not as having sense of knowing the best like Netherlands in the corner who people don,t care but love death to the sturbon. So don’t just buy ya house but think twice based on these 2 lines. Worker and vineyard and lost coin parable to cement the truth above not just guess work bro

The cargo drone in the link below, u can use to buy a car from like UK, Germany or Japan to ya door step to avoid much levies associated with long time shipping on the sea, where a country rep is on the other side to okey it to fly to ya premise after the details set on its screen to reach ya house or get to another police joint nearby to do the above b4 again getting to ya premise to deliver ya goods b4 it goes again to pick another as it can not leave empty handed as it can work that way 4 five years b4 inspection and re-engineering is done as Christ with feed 4-5 people saying to vindicate its truth in alluding way.

https://www.google.com/search?q=cargo%20drone%20images&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg%3ACYEAB_1AMt03kImDo8P-5heC1sklM4FqtEixRhc9C4j6JmiRCJKJJITsB7pTSoncfmobSOpJOzfWi2Fmr_1p4owyIwdVxEuH5vosK08IPsYGRg8hoT6jy2B5Nns3fIj_1JkfdIjAVRqSCgWpwMqEgno8P-5heC1shGQVNY9rUCHmyoSCUlM4FqtEixREcE67UjcNvWHKhIJhc9C4j6JmiQRDtX_163OpFfsqEglCJKJJITsB7hFC-nVHr1BXtSoSCZTSoncfmobSEQbazsqw3sZZKhIJOpJOzfWi2FkRgY2d0ML5ZawqEgmr_1p4owyIwdRFVpyEElEiwTCoSCVxEuH5vosK0Ee79uuyh8ox9KhIJ8IPsYGRg8hoRTNB6G4SijdcqEgkT6jy2B5NnsxHF-T6ZiemGXSoSCXfIj_1JkfdIjEcE3HqinJh4eKhIJAVRqSCgWpwMR4ajyUk0EUyFhJ3EeopGv1IQ&client=opera&hs=qHL&hl=en-US&ved=0CAIQrnZqFwoTCKj7r4vx9ukCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAG&biw=967&bih=641

https://www.google.com/search?client=opera&q=christ+feeding+4+thousand+people&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

Let them eat the corpse now as they wont form market to delude masses that in the degree of eating such u became innovative like them if at all the made the first machines as displayed in the tumblr a/c above. You stupid and fools, cutthroat dogs and imbecile, stop changing ya shit, even if i could struggled my self 6 months like i wanted and had sent the same above on Instagram to every nation as i told ya, still u could have not managed the Jew,Egyptian thing and more so many have mercy on ya to send ya gifts that Christ was of ya tribe born on Christmas day yet your Christ was born on another date. So was changed and u liars. Go to hell if u wanna and take ya tradition shit away from us, don’t disturb us with those shit. Now u eat much wanna get to Canada, wont go 4 long with ya disturbance and ever-changing character dude. Be yaself and live where u are dude period not the lovers of good side now wanting to get to Canada cause now understood better USA is not all that rich and that swag taken away and with the cargo drone above wants to buy much wheat or be farmer to fly them to Africa and sell making super normal profits as described above. Fly on the sky as much as 20km not to be seen so Russia brings down drones which we don’t know if its a gimmick to discourage that cause its beauty are handy dude.

Medical ventilators made In Africa images in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?q=uganda+made+medical+ventilator&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwi484Gt1PnpAhUGYBoKHfqfAAYQ2-cCegQIABAA

Uganda have known to make the houses in the link below as vehicles are made and USA ones build the same as well as roads, So still u build USA forcing people with that shit not wanting to say by ya-self dude as in the link below

https://www.facebook.com/MaramaniHousePlans/

When their is still money the WSU official can meet Kebi in 1 of the hotels in KSM and call the van on the link below to help him take money to his bank if not yet online as purported to facilitate inter-a/c transfer.

https://www.shutterstock.com/search/cash-in-transit

If u persist am Christ why then have you not sent me gifts on the day i was born as per my ID not as the Dec 25th normal celebration day and if u killed me why worship the same dude then it means u don’t know ya course as u r insane or nuts period dude. And who brought the bible if lion of Judah teeth Mr Hindu changed yet personalities after the promise incident lived past 300 years and more and since 1900 that bible enter Kenya the British way is only 1 century yet Moses plants that formed when he died to be named after him in books were there past that time at the Omani invasion of E-African cost, dude take ya being silly to ya motherfucking minds period bro and leave kebi alone as these are written in plane lofty high b4 being given the a/c to change the name to sirjustice number he wants. If the teeth was shifted with Mr Hindu then that an indication the bible was omitted and committed in many areas.

Am told the philistines were Ukraine people who made Samson suffer as he told the Edom as the Germans how to make machines, so they wanted the same with him, so all the arrests and infliction. Why Russia annex them to give them support in case of another war to be in their frontier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hHOo80oNE0

https://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/how-to-change-your-tumblr-username/

China exports destination and categories of exports link below, dude things which are just made as now u have known how to make artificial food bro, dem poor if u know the same but something at hand is they will know how to make what they have always imported and now knows to me as you so exports and imports will be of food products not produced in such nations reducing the no of vessels on sea. Russia and Germany not left outside dude

https://tradingeconomics.com/china/exports-by-country

http://www.worldstopexports.com/chinas-top-10-exports/

https://tradingeconomics.com/china/exports-of-agricultural-products

http://www.worldstopexports.com/russias-top-10-exports/

http://www.worldstopexports.com/germanys-top-10-exports/

http://www.worldstopexports.com/canadas-top-exports/

When the above can be made by any nation like phones, computers or TV and motor bike parts as vehicles then china economy shrinks 4 the worse. Friends see how a nation can be finished in a simple way.

If u don’t want to listen to my shit, then, well, good with ya, let it be that way as u leave me alone not the next minute saying this and that on me as i want to be ya Mr Big man or wanting my foodo

Huyu kimang’i haga yake imejah na nikubwa as round and brown as if whoshuta mbele ya wadhi jo

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kanemayfield · 4 years

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Chivalry... A Rest In Peace Tutorial

It may not be dead... but it definitely could use some therapy and a green juice.

I can't even re-tell this story in full, but I shall enumerate the 5 lessons of the day, and give my final thought like Jerry Springer.

1. If you are buying sammiches... at 3am... in the south bronx... let's not act like you are innocent.

Bitch ain't nothing out this time of the night except the devil, people who met him, and muhfuckers who too dumb to know better.

You're wearing a long tee shirt and knee-high boots... you're already out of line. You look like a fashionable ghost..

Unless you selling that rhubarb.

In which case your pimp or lady pimp.. or whoever answers the email on your OnlyFans page should have handled this sammich run. Doordash niggas look like berserker vikings for a reason.. they deal with creatures of the night. Like Spawn.. or Michael Jackson.

2. If a gentleman of leisure walks into a sammich shop saying "Ayooo.. I just robbed me a nigga, turn dem cammas off so I can use deez creddy cars to buy shit"

AND is DEAD serious...

Making the “I don't know math so let me fight the teacher for calling on me” face.

Yeah... you should leave him alone if you cant scrap. PERIOD. Nothing about this mans life seems like it has prepared him for complex decision making or whatever goes through the mind of people who don't beat you up.

This ain't tag team.. I don't know you OR him. Sun got on black "I shot the party up" air force 1's and NBA jeans.

If he backs that thing out and I get hit in the crossfire and you DONT... my dying breath will be used to call you all types of bitches and dog headed bitches and stank hoes. I’m not an avenger. I'm high. I ain't sign up for the Kumite. Fuck you think this is. You selling that rhubarb or what?

3. You start wilding on that crazy dude like chivalry ain't dead and my mother knows who you are, I will let you get Worldstar’d. I will watch said crazy nigga sweep your leg like Karate kid and I will go have a Pepsi. In fact, I will tell you to shut up all the screaming as I order extra fixings on my delicious sammich from Aki and say tandem Muslim prayer for you.. and high five sun as I leave the scene of your accosting. How do I sleep? Like a fucking newborn.

4. Putting your hands in the face of a crazy nigga when you're clearly not interested in telling me how handsome I am does not provide much in the way of motivation for me to go all Batman Begins on said crazy nigga.

The last thing ANYONE wants to hear after taking a few lead poisoning strenth haymakers is "aaww.. Naah, I'm into girls... but thank you sooooo much... muah 💋". So fuck that... you should have winked at me when you walked in here. I’m not a mind reader.

5. Turning to me and Aki and saying "yall just gonna let him put his hands on me?"

Yes.. yes I am.... technically YOU started it. I may say "is that lady bothering you sir".

"Oh.. yall some whole bitches... bitch ass men ain't even help a WOMAN".

Yeah... that don't make me feel bad. It makes me want to pull out my phone and see if I can find a RZA instrumental that has the BPM’s of your ass whipping. Need a good backdrop for the Kung Fu noises and sound effects I plan on adding in post edit. This could have been avoided, but you wanted to make a stand... and you did.

Now we all know who's "not allowed to ask for your phone number mid robbery”.... at 3am.... in a sammich shop... in the south bronx.

fuck outta here sun. His beef was with the dude who ain't wanna turn off the cameras for his theftwich hold the mayo (and most probably Newport 100's) so he could use credit cards he just stole.

There is a wallet deprived man suffering from blunt force trauma because this mf'er don't feel like repeating himself when he said run it...

Time is the only thing standing between him and ramen noodles with cut up beef jerky in it and telephone lectures from his baby mom bout why she not visiting this time.

Think of the thought process behind a person like that... and you want to call him all types of pussy ass niggas and fuckboy faggots and mush him in his subway series hat. You are a crazy sob. You mushed a robber...mid robbery... or theftwich or whatever....yeah.. not my problem.

MORAL TO THE STORY: If you are a woman... or a beautiful womanly man or whatever... and you are a "hands in the face" type, you might want to know how to fight. Personally, I am not a beater of wimmins, but nor am I a street vigilante. My heroics are on a case by case basis. You slapped my girl cousin... which one.. some of em might have had it coming. We are a mouthy tribe.

I don't go running off all willy nilly into trouble because a woman yells help... that's how Rosewood started.

Minding your business is a delicate process, like heart surgery, or pickpocketing. For moms and grandmoms I fight eternally, for sisters and close girl cousins.. until I get tired, but anything below that pay grade, you might want to call the cops, your man, your dad, the nigga you are currently dutty whinin', a nosy neighbour, a less jaded nigga than me, or keep your opinions to yourself in the Bronx at 3am, cause I ain't helping you. Unless (as we have covered) my mom knows you, or I think you will let me ladle that fondue as a parting gift.

Love,

Emmett ... who ain't in it

See if Aki got a cold compress for that eye.

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 5 years

Text

trying to get a cheap Xbox 360: a saga

background: several years ago I found a bunch of stuff in a dumpster, like a couple backpacks, some dried crickets (reptile food I guess), a bunch of birthday cards, and also a functional PSP with two games, an original Xbox, and a probably busted Gamecube with a controller. the whole thing was a mystery; I did eventually find the owner on Facebook because his name was on the cards and I tried to contact him to see if he wanted any of it back, especially the cards since it seemed like those might have sentimental value, and it went in his spam folder and he found my message like...three years later to say no thanks. so: free stuff for me! figured I might have a use for the Xbox eventually.

I didn’t, actually, because what are you even going to do with an original Xbox, but then once I finally got through Silent Hill 2 and 3 I started hunting around to see how hard it would be to play any of the other games. and I discovered, first of all, that Silent Hill: Homecoming has no trophies or achievements on Playstation or Steam, which is where I had it on my wish list, but it does have Xbox 360 achievements; that Silent Hill 4 is also supposed to be good but it hasn’t been re-released on anything newer than PS2/Xbox, because Konami hates putting in any effort to make money; that it’s possible to get Silent Hill 4 for like ten bucks if you go with the Xbox version; and also that an Xbox 360, in what appears to be its only major advantage over the PS3, can natively play any original Xbox game. so then obviously I fixated on getting a cheap Xbox 360, because that doubles my field of games I can play cheap by getting them used (and I’d already picked up a couple downloadable Xbox 360 games for free that were just sitting in my Microsoft account).

and after that it just got dumb.

do some hunting. actual refurbished Xbox 360 consoles are like $70; Goodwill often has some for $50, which seems like way too much considering a) I’m not sure those come with power supplies and they definitely don’t come with controllers, and b) if they don’t come with power supplies, there’s no way to know if they work. start stalking Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace.

eventually find somebody on Craigslist selling original Xbox 360, power supply, two controllers, and two games (Madden 09 and some arcade compilation) for $35, which sounds like a very very good deal; don’t want to pull the HDMI cable off my PS3, though, so I order one cheap and wait

bring Madden 09, original Xbox, and probably-busted Gamecube to local game store, where I’m pleasantly surprised to be offered $40 trade-in credit for everything; immediately buy Silent Hill: Homecoming for Xbox 360

HDMI cable arrives. I hook everything up...........and get a Red Ring of Death

hunt around on the internet to see if there’s anything I can try

open Xbox 360, slicing open finger in the process, in hopes that dust inside is the cause of RROD; it’s not

controllers also don’t seem to work. no, wait, one of them does, the one that looks like it might actually be a little corroded? new batteries don’t work but the old ones do even though I’m pretty sure they didn’t the first time I tried?

call around to see what repair prices are like. it’s not great! the whole point was to get this for extremely cheap!

find somebody else on Facebook Marketplace selling another original Xbox 360 and an Xbox 360 E (but no power supply for either) for $40, because apparently her nephew just left them behind when he left the state. I figure okay, I can use the power supply and maybe controllers from Craigslist, and whichever consoles I decide not to keep can at least get me something in trade-in value. plan to meet. get cash and drive all the way over. stop hearing from her. eventually learn her daughter got a bloody nose at the playground and they went home. ask if we can meet again. hear nothing.

she’s available the next day. I say a different day would be better. she’s like okay I’ll just go to the next person then (you know, even though I’d been talking to her and she knew I drove all the way across town once already). I’m like ugh fine if today’s the only day then yeah I’ll drive over again, knowing I might be getting suckered but it does seem like a good price. this time I actually get them.

this Xbox 360 is like...surprisingly beat up, but I hook it up with the power supply from the RROD Xbox 360 and it WORKS. also has Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 inside. bonus.

Xbox 360 E requires a different power cord, and local store has power supplies for $30 or more. I decide I can be patient and go online, where I discover that instead I can order a three-dollar adapter that will let me use the original power supply with it. also order a rechargeable battery pack for the controller, which...works on both controllers, including the one that refused to work with batteries. sure why not.

find wired controller at Goodwill for $8 and buy it, figuring it’s a good deal and it’ll be especially useful if I want to use a controller with my PC. has an old plug that the Xbox won’t take (which is weird, because...I have the oldest version of Xbox 360, and this is an Xbox 360 controller, so what console was this controller designed for?) so I order a USB adapter for a couple bucks. it arrives. wired controller doesn’t turn on. is it the adapter or the controller itself? no idea but my money’s on “I spent eight bucks on a busted controller because I shouldn’t buy shit like that at Goodwill maybe”.

decide I want to try MW3 just to see if I want to play it before trading it in. open optical drive, and it closes itself faster than I expected, so I grab at the tray. it doesn’t like that. will now only make sad noises when I try to open it. I do some reading on how to open stuck Xbox 360 optical drives, watch some videos, spend a considerable amount of time messing with it. nope, it Will Not Open.

occurs to me that the Xbox 360 E might have something in it as well, since I don’t have a power supply and haven’t been able to turn it on. turns out the Xbox 360 E is actually designed in a reasonable way that lets you easily pop open the tray if it’s stuck. it does have something inside but it’s just a DVD of The Equalizer, boo.

so now I have an original Xbox 360 in great shape except for the RROD, and a beat-up one that is somehow perfectly functional except for the optical drive, and a much less beat-up Xbox 360 E that I’m feeling much friendlier toward but that I can’t use until I get the adapter, so I figure I’ll use that one. it’s newer, it’s obviously better designed, it probably doesn’t have the same problems that gave so many original Xbox 360 consoles the RROD.

the adapter finally arrives. I hook everything up. the Xbox 360 E does not turn on.

no RROD, no nothing, it just sits there. I ask the universe if it’s fucking kidding me but the universe does not reply.

is it the adapter or the console? I HAVE NO WAY TO KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE NO WAY TO POWER THE CONSOLE. grumpily order an actual Xbox 360 E power supply, finding a third-party one on eBay for $15.

now: waiting for the new power supply but also still stalking Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist, wondering if I should jump on it if I find yet another cheap console that might be better than what I’ve gotten so far or if that’s, you know, the whole “throwing good money after bad” thing.

prediction: once I get the Xbox 360 E power supply, the console still will not turn on, which will leave me with a power supply I will probably want to resell and two original Xbox 360 consoles busted in different ways. I will try to swap the optical drives which, if successful, will leave me with one beat-up but functioning Xbox 360, and two busted consoles that should at least get me some trade-in value. however, given my luck so far, I will be utterly unsurprised if the beat-up but functioning Xbox 360 just fucking dies on me in fairly short order as well.

this also does not include my attempts to get Minecraft for cheap, because one dude on Facebook was going to sell it to me but then he stopped replying, and somebody else wanted me to drive out even further but then she had some kind of emergency so that didn’t work either.

I just. I just wanted to get a cheap Xbox 360 so I could play more games, why did that have to be so complicated

#gaming #yes I realize these are not serious problems #but they are ANNOYING problems

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kinomiakai · 5 years

Text

“The Worst Date Ever” on Patreon now!

Summary: A friend bets Yamiyo that his blind date won't be as terrible as he thinks. Yamiyo knows it will be a disaster—especially since his date’s rooting for him. Explicit, 14238 words.

Excerpt under the cut—full story available here!

It wasn’t a big deal.

Cy ran a hand through his hair, sighing softly. The nerves were running from his heart to his fingertips, and he’d dealt with the urge to fidget by nearly downing the whole water jug on his own, which was definitely gonna come back to bite him in the ass.

He was just...tired of this. All of this. He’d always been the guy to say yes—yes to meetups and first dates and pretty much anything anyone else wanted to do, but he was tired. The last date he’d went on, the guy had stolen his fucking wallet and left him with the bill. The one before that, she’d both been way too handsy and obviously not over her ex—and the one before that had somehow managed to turn into a fucking interview to be a couple’s third for the night—

So he was tired. And yeah, after that string of bullshit, he’d avoided anything involving dating for nearly a year, but it was a justified nearly-a-year, and Hana just didn’t seem to—

“Cyrus?”

Cy blinked back into reality.

“Oh—yeah—hi.”

Cy stood, awkward and hesitant and not quite knowing why he had the urge in the first place. The other guy seemed (serious; unsmiling with dark hair and dark eyes and Cy didn’t know what it was about that that made him look so—) unfazed, simply pulling out the opposite chair and sitting down.

Cy shuffled awkwardly before doing the same. Christ, he was a disaster today. Just because he didn’t want to be here didn’t mean he had to ruin someone else’s night too.

“Let me clear something up,” the guy—Yamiyo, Cy told himself, the least he could fucking do was remember the guy’s name—said. “I don’t want to be here.”

Cy blinked.

“I’m not looking to date,” Yamiyo continued, flipping through his menu, “but Hana was very—”

“Persistent?” Cy finished, a slow smile spreading across his face—

Yamiyo raised an eyebrow.

“In a word.”

Cy let out a soft, relieved laugh.

“Yeah—I’m—sorry. I don’t, um—”

“I know you don’t want to be here either—so I am going to sit here and order the most expensive thing on the menu, have Hana pay for it, and call it a night. You’re welcome to leave at any point in time.”

“You—wait, hang on, Hana’s paying for dinner?”

“She’s paying for my dinner.”

Cy slowly let his menu fall shut.

“Yeah, uh,” he said, throwing his menu back on the table, “I’m gonna need you to explain that.”

Yamiyo finally looked up.

“I refused to come here unless she bribed me,” he said. “This is in no way a reflection on you. I’m an asshole, I don’t generally get along with people and I am not looking to date. The deal was if this night was a disaster—which it will be—then Hana would pay me double whatever it cost me.”

Cy let out a low, long breath.

“Well, shit,” he said, leaning back. “I should’ve driven a harder bargain.”

Yamiyo let out a soft snort, relaxing back into his chair. Cy distinctly saw his shoulders fall a little.

“...I can get the bill,” the guy offered.

Cy’s smile widened.

“That’s diabolical, Yamiyo. I love it.” He picked up his menu again. “Quick, do something mean to make sure this night’s a disaster.”

“Your hair looks stupid.”

Cy barked out a laugh.

“Okay—fuck you, for one thing, and for two, there’s no goddamn reason for me to re-dye my hair when it’ll just fade out on it’s own—”

“So you’re walking around looking as if you had a terrible accident involving kool-aid?”

“Yep,” Cy said, flipping the page, “and now you have to walk around with me looking like you didn’t save me from it. Who wears a suit on a first date?”

Yamiyo bristled.

“I came straight from work,” he said, frowning down at himself—as if it had almost managed to—

“Yamiyo,” Cy stage-whispered, “you look fine and I’m obviously the one underdressed but work with me here—”

Yamiyo rolled his eyes.

“You look fine.”

Cy waved a hand at him.

“No!! Don’t do that!”

“You look stupid?”

“That’s better,” Cy said. “You gotta keep being mean so this is the worst date ever, ‘cause if it’s not, I won’t be able to order the…” Cy scanned the menu, “golden lobster combo. Holy shit—”

Yamiyo flipped to the page.

“You cannot possibly eat all of that.”

“I mean—probably not, but I think it has actual real gold in it and we have to find out, right?”

Yamiyo’s eyebrows raised until a laugh finally broke free.

“Fine,” he said, flicking his menu shut, “we can split it.”

Cy’s grin widened.

“Okay—um—champagne?”

“Their most expensive bottle is nearly a thousand.”

“It—the fuck?! Okay, I love to mess with people but not that much—”

“Forty?”

“That’s a bit better. Still—”

“You’re not the one paying for it.”

Cy ducked his head.

“She’s gonna kill me,” he said, shaking his head. “Yeah—let’s do it.”

“She’ll surely come for me first,” Yamiyo said, putting the menu back, “which will give you time to run.”

Cy laughed—Yamiyo met his gaze with dark, glittering eyes.

“Okay,” Cy said, leaning forward, “we gotta do something to turn this around. Can I call you Yami?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Okay, Yami—remind me how you know my best friend?”

Yamiyo rolled his eyes.

“Work. Is that an idea you’ve ever heard of or are you busy longboarding your way to the beach all day?”

“Wow, you fucker!” Cy laughed. “Are you a writer, too? And for your information, I’ve owned a shop down in the city for seven damn years, now.”

“I’m an editor. Let me guess, your store involves surfing?”

“Oh come on,” he said. “Is it the hair?”

“It is. It’s the hair. Why blue?”

“Ugh,” Cy groaned, “it was a spur of the moment thing, okay? You’re gonna have to deal with it at least for the rest of the dinner—”

“Mm, as are you.”

Cy shot him a half-hearted glare. The corners of Yamiyo’s lips twitched.

“So no surfing,” Yamiyo said, flicking some hair out of his eyes.

“No surfing,” Cy agreed. “It’s like a—a coffee shop-furniture store hybrid kinda thing. Basically we sell normal café stuff—food, coffee, whatever—but all the furniture is for sale, too. It’s used, so it’s cheaper, but it lets people can actually hang out and see how it all feels before they buy it. Sometimes I make some and sell that too, but it’s usually from the partners we’ve got around town.”

Yamiyo blinked at him.

“What?” Cy raised an eyebrow. “We’ve only done a beach theme once, okay?”

Yamiyo ducked his head to hide his smile and Cy couldn’t help but do the same.

“So do you—”

“Are you ready to order?”

Cy looked up. He hadn’t even noticed the waitress come over.

“Yeah, uh,” he said, scrambling for the menu again—

“Golden lobster combination to split, and a bottle of Dualité,” Yamiyo said, already passing the menu to her.

Cy watched him, eyebrows raised—waiting until the waitress left to—

“Oh my god,” Cy said, leaning in, “you’re one of those people who pronounces spaghetti like you’re secretly Italian, aren’t—”

“I pronounce words like they’re meant to be pronounced,” Yamiyo snapped, “and I speak French, you imbecile.”

“You sp—like, fluently?” Cy leaned forward. “Say something.”

Yamiyo put his glass down, staring directly at him.

“Va t’faire foutre.”

Cy narrowed his eyes.

“You just insulted me, didn’t you?”

The sly smile played at Yamiyo’s lips again.

“Just fitting into the theme of the night.”

Cy couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, okay—in that case,” Cy lifted his drink up, resting his elbow on the table, “to the worst date ever?”

Yamiyo raised his glass in kind.

“Cheers.”

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hennessystevens-udaku · 6 years

Text

Best Buds

The story of how this crazy love affair began.. Instead of reading like a normal story, it’ll be written as journal entries from my point of view.. hope you guys enjoy! 😘

A/N: Bolded dialogue is Erik speaking.

Friday, November 7, 2008

It started off as a normal Friday night. I was sitting at my kitchen table going over equations for my organic chemistry test clad in nothing but my grey MIT hoodie, Nike shorts, and knee-high school girl socks. As I was about to re-read the chapter on substitution reactions, a rough knock came at the door. Instinctively, I grabbed my glock 9 and shoved it in the pocket of my hoodie (I may be small, but I ain’t no bitch).

When I opened the door I was greeted by a wall of black fabric. I had to tilt my head back to fully view the Sasquatch-sized man. He was fine as hell! His skin was a smooth bronze and his short dreads were braided neatly to the back of his head. He wore a black Nike hoodie with black sweats and black Jordan’s. He wore a pair of gold rimmed glasses and when he smiled down at me, two gold bottom canines gleamed in the light of the hallway.

“How you doin, lil mama, ya nigga around?” He asks.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. First off, who the fuck was he and why was he coming around asking for a nigga I don’t even possess?

“Don’t have one,” I retorted. I moved to slam the door in his face, but his big ass foot stopped me.

“Aye you ain’t gotta be like that. I’m Erik and I’m looking for a nigga named Shy. I was told he lived in this apartment,” he states, staring down at me.

Now I was really annoyed. He wasn’t the first person to come to my door looking for a male to be serving their product. Folks around here seemed to still live in the Stone Age, thinking all women were good for was cooking and cleaning.

“SHE,” I corrected.

Noticing the puzzled look on his face, I decided to elaborate.

“I am Shy. Now what the exactly do you want with me?” I asked.

Part of me already knew the answer. I had the best smoke in the city; all the dope boys wanted a piece of Shy, but I wasn’t budging. My extensive knowledge of plant breeding allowed me to cultivate my own strains & I had the city hooked.

The fine ass Sasquatch looked down at me as though I’d told him I was Satan incarnate before breaking out into a hearty laugh.

“Hell nah, lil mama,” he said. “Ain’t no way you Shy. I heard Shy was a straight savage with the best green in Cambridge. Ain’t no way you gonna tell me your little cute ass is a dope dealer.”

This disrespectful bitch! How dare he come on my doorstep looking for my shit then turn around and insult me? I pushed my glasses back up to my face, not bothering to hide my annoyance at this point.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I can’t sell bud just because I’m a female? You and that patchy ass beard can miss me with that sexist bullshit. So you buying or nah ‘cause I was tryna study.”

I could tell that my outburst caught him off guard, but he was smooth, so he quickly recovered.

“My bad mama, I didn’t mean no disrespect. I just didn’t expect…”

I turned away before he could continue his statement. His words cut off mid-sentence as he watched my ass retreat back into the apartment. As I stepped away, I heard him whisper ‘cakes by the pound’ and I chuckled to myself. Nigga you wish I was your pound cake.

“Just come on,” I called over my shoulder. “This ain’t the kinda thing I do on my doorstep.”

“Goddamn lil mama, you got yourself a mini greenhouse in here,” he states in awe. “Niggas say you cultivate your own strains, that true?” I could tell he wasn’t expecting to see all of the different plants that I had and part of me thought his admiration was cute.

“Yeah,” I replied, looking at my babies proudly. “I’m gonna have a bigger one one day. I’m gonna open my own dispensary and research center,” I told him matter of factly.

“That’s dope as fuck,” he says still admiring my collection. The space between us grew quiet for a moment before he spoke again.

“So is Shy your real name or a pseudonym?”

“It’s short for Chiron, my last name. A lot of people don’t take my first name seriously,” I deadpan.

“And what is your first name?” he asks, turning his attention towards me.

“Hennessy… yes like the drink,” I respond, anticipating the following question.

“Hennessy Chiron. I like it,” he says with a smile.

He had the prettiest, whitest smile I’d ever seen. That smile coupled with his ensemble and deep ass voice screamed ‘fuck boy’ but for some reason, I was intrigued. I quickly snapped myself out of that train of thought and brought both of our attention back to why he was here in the first place.

“So Erik, what exactly did you want from me?”

He looked down at me and once again broke out laughing.

“And may I ask what the fuck is so funny?” I asked, quickly getting tired of this whole situation.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but your lil fluffy ass is adorable.”

I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the millionth time in 20 minutes. Here I am trying to give his fine, fuckboy, Sasquatch ass compliments and instead of acting accordingly, he just has to hop back on his condescending bullshit.

“Stop being so damn mean, I just gave you two compliments. You really are cute, Princess, and the fact that you’re smart makes you that much more sexy,” he said, flashing those pussy trappers at me.

Who knew that simple word would make my entire body ignite the way it did? I turned away from him so that he wouldn’t see my face flush and he continued his speech.

“I’ve been stressed lately, I need something to mellow me out.”

I turned to the shelf, grabbing a bag of my signature strain, before handing it to him. In true nigga fashion, he sniffed the bag and handed me his payment after he deemed it satisfactory.

“This shit better be good Princess, he said as he reached the door.

“Trust me, you’ll be back,” I teased.

“Don’t temp me with a good time, Hennessy,” he said before turning to walk away.

The way my name rolled off his tongue sent a chill straight to my vagina. I bit my bottom lip as I watched him disappear down the hall. This nigga was curiousity and my dumbass was the cat, impatiently waiting for our paths to cross again.

-Hennessy 💚

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#Hennessy Chiron #My Shit #erik killmonger x black!reader #erik stevens #erik killmonger

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