#to study for my french exam and also i think we ALL have emotions and feelings about pp | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kwon-eunbi · 1 year

Note

I do not miss the constant deadlines of academia at all. Like, I loved going to class and learning and filling my head with interesting things, but the stress of deadlines and exams were awful. Being a librarian would be so amazing, would you want to work in a small library or a big one? Or like a community library or an academic one?

It was actually for Chinese linguistics, it was about tracing modern languages back to Middle Chinese and untangling how they evolved. I speak Mandarin, Russian, and English, and I’m supposed to speak French, but I don’t, don’t tell anyone. I lived in Paris and my dad’s partner is French Canadian, but I can only kind of read it. I love learning languages, though, I started Korean for an ex (when we were together ofc) and even though that’s over I keep going back to it because I enjoy the puzzle of sentence construction.

It's a good cover! Sounds basically the opposite of Wooyoung’s, and yet I think both of them capture the emotions of the song and lyrics in different ways.

I have such a soft spot for “Say My Name”, it was when I started listening to them, and I was like look at these kiddos going WILD. “Bad bitch, watch her do coke” indeed! But I do love when Hongjoong dresses fashionably but in an artsy way, if that makes sense, where he uses looks that aren’t exactly pretty as part of his performance, like the mullet in 2019. But honestly he’s just a crazy good performer, he could wear a paper bag and I’d be applauding wildly like YES king you are SO right. And Wooyoung with his little brother vibes off the chart through the whole era (and every other era tbh).

I like their melodic songs a lot, when I get frustrated with a piece on violin, I’ll play a little kpop song as a reset for fun, and “Precious”, “Horizon” and “Inception” are all go-to songs for that. But when I listen to their more melodic songs, I’m digging through there for the harmonies cause I just find those so much more interesting, when San finally gave in and started modulating in their performances of “Turbulence” on It’s Live? Ohhh those got me. He said no tritones on my watch! I might prefer their less pretty music tho? Like “Fireworks” or “Deja Vu” or “The Real”. I don’t know, but there’s not really a wrong answer.

For “Guerilla”, I joked that I wanted a nardcore comeback, my friends told me to be realistic, I said well now I’m gonna speak it into existence, and when Jason Sears possessed Mingi for those thirty seconds I went back to them like What Did You Say To Me. I think I would have liked it more with less pitch correction but I’m very annoying about punk music so ignore me.

I’ll check out Lucifer then! I need a new show for my cardio workouts, and if there’s five seasons then it’ll last a while. I remember what I saw of it was that it was a fun show, and I love a good monster-of-the-week show, so it’ll be great for those early mornings.

Thanks for letting me ramble haha I love talking about music. I hope you’re resting well and getting lots of sleep.

--🎅

hiiiii, sorry for not responding sooner, i didn't have time to sit down and respond properly bc yk uni and my friend came to stay with me so it's just been hectic lmaoo (i literally open tumblr, reblog the first gifset on my dash i see and close it), but how are you doing?? i hope well!! <33

ahhh i so get you about the deadlines. i enjoy going to lectures the first few weeks of the semester too but then i just... get bored of it and i just wanna skip them all but most of them check attendance so i can't skip too much :(( honestly i would just love to work in a library, idec which one just one yk, but in this economy and yk libraries not being such popular places anymore, i would be lucky to land a job anywhere....

omgggg that sounds sooo interesting!! i really love chinese but i don't think i would ever attempt to learn it cause honestly my brain isn't equipped for that so i truly admire you for not only knowing it but also studying its linguistics wow!! and ohh damn you speak russian too, well yk we could understand each other on basic levels cause my mother tongue is croatian. and yess, korean is so fun to study, i really wish i had more time to dedicate to it.

ohhh so you're basically a "veteran" atiny, love that! omg yess hongjoong and his fashion sense and his painted pinkie ahhhh it's amazing trulyyyy, and i agree he's an amazing perfomer, honestly all of ateez are, they're just crazy good it's insane!!

OMG YOU PLAY THE VIOLIN???!? wooow!! i love violin so much i always wanted to learn to play it wow you're truly so talented wowww!! and honestly i agree with you on it all! they truly have a discography to fit your every mood like no joke! btwww did you see the teasers for the new cb??? i caaant wait tho i am a bit disappointed that we're getting only two new songs but yk they've been working too hard this year i wasn't expecting a cb yet anyway but i'm definitely going to enjoy it fully!!

broo i love punk/rock/alternative in general so i'm really loving all of these new songs, like since rocky i was just AHHHH YESSS this is what i needed!! yk even tho i do love their more melodic songs, i hope they go in this punk direction a little longer cause it suits them so well and i definitely love the songs

yess lucifer is amazing and yk some seasons have more eps so it would definitely last you a while hahah

and feel free to ramble whenever you want! soon in the dms too hehe and again sorry for not responding sooner! i hope you're doing well too and getting rest <333

#annonymous #answered

0 notes

soliloquyepistolary · 2 years

Text

In a dream I was stressed about three exams that I needed to take. But I was scheduled to work at NC from 1-2pm and was stressing out about it. Probably to cover the lunches there. Even though it was only one hour and I’d known about it for awhile I thought about not showing up because I was very unprepared for the rest of my exams and was basically having a panic attack. I had already completed two of my exams which I had felt semi-okay about. I had a flash where I knew the takedown was happening and that it wouldn’t matter but I chose to ignore it and continued to stress anyway. I’m not sure if it’s because I didn’t believe it or if I wanted to continue feeling like I was taking part in the game because I basically acted as if I didn’t know, rather than stress if it were true or not. It felt like in this parallel reality, it takes place at the same time that it is now which is mid-June. I think the exams that I still needed to complete were chemistry, maths and French. I was most concerned about my French exam because I hadn’t been attending those lectures at all. I hadn’t been putting much effort into studying and had thus far only spend one day studying each subject. I thought to myself that since I didn’t feel too bad about how I went with the other exams, one day of study for how competent I felt wasn’t so bad. It felt like I’d had this dream before or like it was a continuation of a world I’d already dreamed about. I also had a dream where I found a weak baby bird and nursed it back to health. It slept in a hat with scraps of fabric on the top shelf of my wardrobe. I put it there at night and would take it out every morning. One time it felt really cold to touch and I freaked out that it had passed away but it got better after I fed it and put it in some water. I had to take it to a pond where it would regain it’s power by dipping itself in the water and swimming around for a bit.

What’s the meaning of these dreams? There’s no need to stress about things that are not going to come into fruition, to do so is to put yourself back into the game. You can do as you wish regardless, we just want you to notice how it doesn’t feel good to you. Maybe on some level it’s better than being bored, but there are other emotions to feel that don’t have you being dragged back into density. Thinking about those things won’t affect the outcome, it just depends on whether you want to leave continuing to play the game or viewing it detachedly form above. Instead or fear, dread, anxiety and uncertainty, you can feel excited, hopeful, joyful and as expectant as a child. Expect the gift, know that it is coming with every fibre of your being, see that there is no other way and every other option is null, void and reads like an obituary. Both choices lead to the same outcome but the experience and thus the journey is vastly different. Months ago you chose the path of non-suffering and you can choose it still in every moment of every day through your intention. Let it go, you think you are protecting yourself from harm but the very thought is what does the true harm because it breeds the next moment. Loneliness begets more loneliness, so does doubt, feelings of superiority, resignation and apprehension. You are all one. They are all you. Nothing is by mistake. You are 1 of the 12,000. Your vibration changes the timeline and everyone can do this of course but your conscious awareness of what is happening here puts you at an advantage of what exactly it is you would like to experience. You cannot change what has already happened but simply align yourself onto a reality where the path to that reality is one of peace, love and happiness. Happy is not a dirty word, feel happy. Be happy. For these last moments, like never before, let yourself feel it. And it will transform into a happiness so vast and deep that you could never had dreamed of in your humanness. Do not long for anything. You do not lack for anything. Feel it. That the whole world knows, the whole universe knows. Feel into what has already happened, that is happening and pull it into your experience and awareness NOW. It is there right in front of you, all that is needed is your intention.

You feel it first and see it second. Your whole life has been a reflection of this. Everyday when I wake up the world gets a little quieter and quieter and it becomes more obvious everyday. The world has emptied itself of itself. There is nothing left here to move forward with. The people see this because I see this. Things are falling apart but it feels coordinated. There is no chaos, it is a quiet resignation that we cannot go on. People aren’t scared because they know this is the end of the game. Deep down, they know and they’re excited despite what they see in front of them, despite what their five senses tell them they are now operating through the influence of something else entirely; that they now realise is was truly has guided them their whole lives. It is a quiet disengagement, none of this comes with any surprise or outrage. Ultimately, no one cares. And then it comes, the big announcement but still, it does not really rouse any of us into caring. We cannot care anymore. We pretend to and go through the motions of it but I can see it in the eyes of the people, that they are excited and relieved. They are glad to be rid of this whole ordeal and they just want to go now. So the acting is a bit half-hearted because everyone of us can see through the cracks at the light that shines through, nay, that bursts through. We know we are walking out of this play and going home.

0 notes

marwankenzarisgaylittleearring · 3 years

Text

the tragedy of realising booker would not have read le petit prince to his sons on account of them dying before it was published

#my mother did not actually read pp to us because she raised us in dutch BUT i have her copy that i read last year #to study for my french exam and also i think we ALL have emotions and feelings about pp #there was like.. i mean theres more than one show made out of that book i think but there was one we watched #when we were truly too old to be watching it or at least we truly were not the target audience for that and yet #we watched it w rapt attention me and both my siblings #i am ALWAYS thinking about booker but im thinking about booker today :(

1 note · View note

folkloreguk · 3 years

Text

French Class [6]

A/N: You guys might want to whack out your love song playlist for this one…I cried writing this BYE I'm posting this from my grave!!

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, ANGST, smut

words: ~ 3.8 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @yeostars, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek

You: can I come over? I kind of need u

H/N: you need me huh…you’re lucky I’m home alone

It always starts differently. Some other question, or a subtle message of telling him you’re bored, or a flat-out confession of being horny. The ending is always the same. You, naked in his bed. You just had to get there, and things were easy when you were already on his dorm’s doorstep.

The moment he had opened the door, you had fistfuls of his hair between your fingers and attacked his mouth in a feverish kiss. He made a noise between a laugh and surprise but reacted quickly. His lips parted right away, letting you in, and you tasted mint from the chewing gum he liked so much.

“Let me- at least- close the door,” he mumbled. “Jeez, what’s gotten into you today?”

You stepped aside and mirrored his grin. He was acting surprised, but the way he instantly locked your lips after he had shut the door told you he was enjoying this as much as you were. You ran your hands down his torso and along the side of his thighs. His happy hum only poured oil into the fire, and you saw no reason as to why you should have kept your clothes on any longer. In minutes, in the middle of heated kisses and clumsy chuckles, your clothes were discarded, and you were left in your underwear. You stumbled into his bedroom in a tangle of arms and legs and heads barely pulling apart.

“Will you tell me about the date you had today or are we skipping over that part?” he asked, as he pushed you down by the shoulders onto his bed. You groaned a little, not even knowing where to start.

“Didn’t go well, huh?” he asked. Only a few nights ago you had consoled him after his failed date, now the roles were reversed.

“That’s one way to put it,” you said. He was climbing on top of you now, and the weight of him between your thighs still did the same things to you it had done the first time. There was one of his random playlists playing quietly from the speakers, but you were both too occupied to even consider switching the music off. You weren’t in the mood for a chat, not when he was biting and sucking bruises into your chest, pushing aside your bra just enough. But you knew he wasn’t going to let it go this easily.

“Tell me about it or I won’t take one more piece of clothing off your body,” he threatened. You shot him an are-you-serious-look while he only blinked at you innocently, like he was awaiting your response.

“Fine,” you groaned. “But hurry, now.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, before unclasping your bra and throwing it to the other side of the room. “Go ahead, I expect a story.”

You had rolled your eyes at him, but when he sucked on your nipple all of a sudden, and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud ever so perfectly, your eyes moved to the back of your head involuntarily. And, before he could complain, you started to retell today’s events.

“Alright. First of all, he acted all gentleman-y. Pulling back my chair at the restaurant, letting me have a look at the menu first, letting me order first, asking me if I was okay with our seats because they were in the sunshine, or whether he should have requested we get a different in the shade table, blah, blah, blah.”

With the lewd noises he was making, kissing your chest and fumbling with your breasts, you almost wondered whether he was paying attention to you at all.

“I’m waiting for the plot twist,” he chuckled. “If he had been this great, you wouldn’t be in my bed right now, would you?” He was now on his way to your lower regions. Your breaths came out shaky when he gripped your hips with familiar fingertips and placed a few kisses there, right above the material of your underwear. Nonetheless, you had to continue your story.

“Oh, it’s coming,” you said. “Because I suspect, the only reason he was acting that way was to compensate. For the fact that he was an hour late.”

He stifled a laugh, and you slapped his head playfully. “It’s not funny! I stood outside that restaurant on a busy street like an idiot for an hour. During exam season!”

“I wonder, if studying is so special to you- ,” he said. He tugged on your underwear, and you barely cared about his words when you were already imagining his mouth on your pussy. “Why aren’t you at home right now, doing just that?”

“Too frustrated,” you groaned, spreading your legs, practically inviting him in. “You don’t get it. That was only the beginning of the date. It gets worse.”

“Oh, damn,” he laughed, and you were going to slap him again. Harder, this time. But his tongue kitten-licked over your clit and you didn’t dare interrupt him further.

“First of all, he turned out to be boring. An economics major. And look, I’m not generalizing, I’ve met some cool economics majors. But when I said I never really understood the whole thing with inflation and deflation, I wasn’t asking for him to explain it to me. I know what it means, I just meant to say money is the root of all evil,” you said, little moans slipping inbetween your sentences. He laughed whilst sipping on your clit. You couldn’t be mad at his laughing anymore. In fact, at the sound of his chuckles, your own lips curled into a smile, too. God, he was so good with his tongue.

“But turns out he loved money. Like it was the sole reason he was doing anything. When he showed me his gold watch I almost yawned,” you continued.

“Dating a rich guy can have its upsides too, though,” he said, but you knew he was joking. He was running the tips of his fingers over your core, and you whimpered at how badly you wanted him to put them inside of you. You loved watching him, loved feeling his hair tickle the side of your thighs and having his free hand laying on top of your hipbone. The familiarity of it all, his little habits, made your heart heavy, so full of emotion, all of a sudden. But you had to snap out of it.

“Not this guy. He kept saying these lowkey sexist things I won’t repeat now. It’ll only make me mad again. He was one of those who thought money would buy him a girlfriend. And I was really trying to see the good in him…only there was none,” you said.

“Alright, I’m starting to understand why you needed some cheering up,” he said. “Good thing you’re at the right place. I know just the thing.”

At this, he slid his digits into you. You hummed and dropped your head into the plush pillow. Slowly, you exhaled, happy you finally got to relax after being so upset. But of course, he had to interrupt. Again.

“Did I say you could stop? Was that the end of the story?” he said. How did he expect you to form a coherent sentence? He fingered you gently, but the slowness of it all only drove you crazier. You felt every tiny sensation, every new bit of you he touched.

“No,” you sulked. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“Go on, then,” he encouraged you, grinning because he was proud of your reaction he had caused.

“Fuck- okay. He was super shitty to the waiter. I’m talking about criticizing everything. This man had the audacity to complain about the food. I’m not a food critic, but I swear the food was amazing, there was nothing to fault at all,” you said, and then whined when he switched from licking your clit to sucking it between his teeth. You knew he was doing this on purpose. To make speaking harder for you.

“Oh my god, H/N. Wait, let me finish this. Not only was he horrible to the waiter in person, but he also made fun of the waiter’s appearance behind his back. And all along he expected me to find him funny. I used to think he had a sense of humor but not after today. Blech.”

“At least you got a free dinner?” he said, and without awaiting your answer, went back to work. Your head was spinning in pleasure, and you could only laugh sarcastically at his suggestion.

“Yeah. And after that train wreck of a date, he really thought he’d get to stick his tongue down my throat,” you said.

“Did he at least ask permission?” asked the boy between your legs.

“Mhm…but I told him I don’t do that on the first date,” you said. “Safe to say there won’t be another date, though.”

He looked up now, laughing more than before. You grinned, mainly because the sight of him was so cute. He folded his hands on your belly and put his face down onto your skin to giggle. In no way could you be upset or urge him to keep giving you head. In fact, you had forgotten about all of that for a while, as he seemed to enjoy your misfortune a little too wildly. You should have been hungry, eager to have the half-naked boy inside of you. Yet, you laughed at the way his breaths tickled your stomach and when he finally made eye contact, it was a wholly different sort of hunger which overcame you. Instead of the heat he usually made you feel, it was a comfortable warmth that was in your chest. It reminded you of a bonfire or of drinking your favorite hot drink on a cool autumn day.

“I want to watch you come,” he said, casually. “Were you close?”

You were so lost in his trustworthy, dreamy eyes, you almost forgot to reply. Quickly, you nodded and hummed.

“I would have already come, had you not pestered me to tell you all the details of my date,” you said. The way his cheeks beamed when he smiled made you feel as if your insides were turning into mush.

“I’m sorry. I’m your friend, aren’t I allowed to ask how your day went?” he asked.

“Of course you are,” you said. The word ‘friend’ echoed off every wall in your head until you wished you could have deleted it from the dictionary.

“I’ll make sure it feels extra good now,” he said, kissing your stomach. You shivered as you watched his gentle lips move lower, to your hips and the insides of your thighs. The touch felt like butterfly wings on your skin, and the tardiness of it made you impatient. When his tongue came in contact with your clit again, you sucked in a breath of surprise.

He tried to start slowly, but then you gripped his hair tightly, and carefully pushed him further. It was something you did often, a way to tell him you wanted more without having to use words. After all this time, he understood perfectly. Your clit was between his lips and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pleasure. It felt incredible, creating a funny sensation in the pit of your stomach. His fingers grazed over your slit until you were whimpering and shifting your hips, trying to make him hurry.

One of his digits slid into you easily, curling against your sweet spot, and it hit you only now how much you had missed him between your legs since he had stopped a few minutes ago. It made you feel as though you were suddenly overwhelmed with all of him, but you were willing to let the heat crash over you if it meant you could be close to him.

“Am I making it up to you now?” he asked as he pulled away merely for a breath. “I’ll turn your day into a good one after all.”

In a different tone his words would have sounded like the exact thing one would have expected to hear from a fuckboy in the bedroom. He could have boasted and bragged endlessly about how great he was with his tongue and fingers – he would have been right – but he didn’t mean it like that. You could tell from the uprightness and the authenticity in his voice that he really was doing his best because he wanted to make you feel better and turn your day around. Because you were special to him. Or so you desperately hoped.

Your legs wrapped around his shoulders as if you were trapping him between your thighs. But he was right there, and he would gladly stay for so much longer, and to say it puzzled you was an understatement. The boy who belonged to everybody, who was known by all of the campus, was treating you like you were royalty, and not the other way around. You moaned, his name inevitably falling from your lips. He added another finger and the slightest stretch made you lose your mind for a split second.

“That guy could have never made you feel this good, could he?” he suddenly asked. Your initial response was a helpless whine. You had been so close, and his talking had interrupted the otherworldly bliss for a moment.

“No, never,” you then whimpered shortly. ‘No’ was such a tiny word. It could barely encapsule what you truly meant to say. Which was that it would have never even gotten that far. That other guys couldn’t even have you at all. They didn’t get their turn to try and beat him. Not as of lately, at least. That you didn’t so much as dare to think about sleeping with other guys. That even before you had gone on the date, you had known it wouldn’t lead to anything. No guy could let you develop an interest on him in the same way the boy between your legs had done it. No other would be able to kidnap your brain like that. H/N was always there. Even when it was only you and your sex toys, you would automatically pretend it was him getting you off. You were so far gone that it was embarrassing how long it had taken you to admit it to yourself. But it was a colossal thing to confess to him, and you would never do that. Rejection would hurt a billion times more than whatever it was you two had now.

Your heart was racing as you closed your eyes. You had been so lost in thought, it was wondrous you hadn’t fallen yet. But you were right on the edge, making your breaths come out like puffs and a string of moans and swears sound from your lips. He too had stopped talking, concentrating on the task at hand, and judging by the way your back arched he was doing one hell of a good job.

“Oh my god- �� you whimpered. “I’m so close, H/N.”

This time he didn’t reply, which was for the best. Only a few seconds passed until you started to quiver and whine beneath him. You were going to outer space behind your eyelids as your high rushed through you. Your fingers curled and tightened in his locks while your legs clenched around his head. He was quick to pull your thighs apart again, still not being finished. For long seconds you swam in pleasure, with nothing on your mind but bursting stars. He was heaven, knowing precisely how far he could take it until you were too sensitive to take any more.

When you were at that point, he finally pulled away and looked up at your crumpled form. There was a lazy smile playing in the corner of your lips and your vision was hazy after having had your eyes closed for a while. He climbed up your body until his chest was against yours so he could really look at you.

“I get all of this without ever having been on a single date with you? I’m so lucky,” he said. You only smiled at him, at a loss for words. What were you to say? The two of you were clearly past the awkward dating stage already.

“I’m lucky you let me come over all the time,” you said. “I would have expected the campus fuckboy to be busier. To not have an empty spot in his bed every night.”

“Ah, shut up,” he said. “I’d rather have you here than a girl I don’t know at all. Look, I’m really tired so I don’t know how this will go…but can I?” He was on his knees, a tent visible in his boxers. With a questioning look, he was tugging them down his legs now.

“Of course,” you said. As you watched him roll on a condom, your ears perked up. Did that song have to come on shuffle just now? The coziest, most romantic love song you adored so much? You knew if you looked him in the eyes you’d be done for. But there wasn’t anywhere else to look when he settled between your legs and held up his weight with his forearms. His eyes were deep enough for you to get lost within a second. Distracting yourself was impossible. The one last thing you could do was to reach between the two of you and guide his length into you.

The song’s chorus came on, you looked at him once again, and suddenly you were all his. You didn’t need to tell him so. He thrust gently, almost carefully, like he had never done it with you. Your heart hammered against your ribcage so vivaciously, you wondered whether it had turned autonomous and was now trying to jump out of your body, onto his skin and through it, so it could nestle next to his own heart.

Neither of you spoke. Yet, there had never been so much chemistry, such a heavy amount of uncommunicated emotions between the two of you. You were ready to hang on his every word, should he decide to speak up. In your head rampaged a billion sentiments you needed him to know, but there was no option to express them adequately. Perhaps there were simply no words in the English language to declare your feelings for him.

Small whimpers and moans left your lips only for him to hear. Sometimes he moved a little quicker, gifting you with the most perfect sounds he could make. And to know you were the cause for it sent you into overdrive. His mouth was right above yours. If you lifted your head slightly, you could have kissed his sweet, sweet lips. But you were so afraid. What would he think? You had never kissed him during sex. Not softly, like you wanted it so terribly.

Even worse, you craved so much more than that. You wanted to pull him in, envelope his mouth in your own, crawl over the edge of his lips and reside in his chest for safety. Because that’s what he was. Comfort. Reassurance. Home. How foolish you had been, pretending this little fling would lead to nothing more. You really had told yourself this would work. No feelings. Just fun. You couldn’t deny having fun with him. He was the best company you had ever known, and he had become your most precious friend quickly. It was as if you had only been waiting for the silly, flirty boy to sit across from you in the library and make weak advances towards you.

The love song tuned out slowly, replaced by something more sensual and sinful. In accordance with the new background noise, he gripped your hips a little meaner and went faster. You barely noticed how his breathing had sped up as he was getting closer to his orgasm. A trance had overcome you, transfixing you on his godlike features and how much it hurt to know you couldn’t call him yours. In your head you were made for each other. They always said to date your best friend, didn’t they? You could try to turn back time, go back to your first meeting place, at the party. See if things would turn out different. But you knew they wouldn’t. As much as your fear tried to suppress it – you would take the same path again, stumbling head-first into his arms and letting him into your life like a crashing wave of laughter and heart-crushing conversations.

Now you reflected in despair, how he had taken your heart in a storm, without having to try too hard. And worst of all, you were okay with it. Your heart was secure with him, you thought. The feelings yearned to be spoken out loud, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“You feel so good,” he said. “Always, so fucking good.”

He snapped his hips against yours, burying his cock deep inside of you and all you could muster was a hum of agreement. This is what you got for keeping him at arms-length from the beginning. Wasn’t it you who had challenged him to be friends and only that? Perhaps you would be okay, so long as no one else called him theirs either. You could go on like this, letting him use you for sexual relief and making him laugh when he needed it. Gladly, you would take the pain of not being allowed to love him with your whole being if it meant you could see him whenever you wanted. Exposing those silly emotions would wreck your friendship and you wouldn’t let it happen.

He grunted and only then, when he lowered his head into the crook of your neck and moaned your name, you realized he was reaching his high. Softly, you cradled his head in your hands, as if it was the last time you could hold him like this. When he put his forehead against yours, he had his eyes closed and his chest was moving steadier than before.

“You’re the best,” he whispered. “Stay the night?”

Should you have gone home, and missed him all night? Would you have regretted saying no while you curled up in bed with no Cheshire-cat-grin-boy to hold? Or were you to remain in his bed, and pray you would survive the torture of not speaking your mind? His skin radiated the most wonderful warmth and you wanted to trace his lips with your eyes until you fell asleep. That’s how quickly it was decided.

“Okay,” you answered.

456 notes · View notes

southparkxreader · 3 years

Text

title: home is where the heart is. pairings: christophe delorne x reader x gregory of yardale. tropes: mutual pining, always away for work, excited hellos and hesitant goodbyes. note: this probably turning into a series ? most likely. anyway, constructive feedback is always welcomed ! i will admit this is a little lackluster, but my first imagines always are on ( my ) blogs. feel free to send in requests after checking out my pinned post !

“ i can’t believe you’re already back ! “ it’s impossible to hide the excited giggle as the words are spoken, practically bouncing on the spot as you don’t hesitate to throw your body towards the two men. they were taller, so it was a little awkward as your arms were wrapped around the two of them and squished in the centre - but it doesn’t stop your spirits and still practically nuzzle in their sides, gregory stood there, usual charming grin planted on face as one arm wraps around you, squeezing your side; a complete opposite reaction to what christophe had, who offered a fake huff of annoyance at your attitude - though you knew him, knew him well enough that you can see the small ghost of a smile that pulled in the corner of his lips that hid behind the unlit cigarette “ i thought you guys weren’t meant to be back for a couple more months ! “

“ we weren’t, however we managed to finish the job and thought it would be a nice little surprise “ pressing a kiss at the top of your head, nose remaining buried in the crown of your hair as eyes slip shut. their work was mentally draining, it was nothing but destruction and death - which granted, is what he signed up for, it’s what he’s good at : both he and christophe were the best at the job which is why they together were always away and spread thin with how many people required their assistance, however it doesn’t make it any less draining. but knowing that he had you to come back to ? it always made it that little better “ it appears that was the right decision to make - “

“ oui, you’re like a little puppy “ voice deep, teasing, you don’t miss the faint coo behind the tone which causes your face to flare up red, a deep blush coating cheeks that had the french mans eyes gleaming at the reaction gained, which only eggs him “... loyal and waiting at home for the masters to return - now, if the puppy could let us in - “ you make a noise of embarrassment, elbowing the man in the stomach in retaliation at the comments made, it also made you painfully aware that the three of you were just stood in the middle of the hallway for the world to see - you briefly thank that exam season was closing in and most people were rushing by or locked up in their dorms, studying until their eyes hurt, completely oblivious to your existence and your friends.

“ i hope you know that i hate you - “ moving to the side to allow them into your flat, nose twisting up as christophe took your chin between his fingers - not missing the murmured, ‘of course you do’ under his breath as he passed by. the smile on your face doesn’t ease, back of your hand pressing against your mouth as to try and ease the pain in cheeks ( and to hide the growing redness on your face that made you look like a strawberry, it always annoyed you how easy it was for the pair to get under your skin. )

“ we weren’t interrupting anything, were we ? “ gregory hummed, seeing the revision sheets scattered over the floor: an organised mess only you can understand, even then you had moments of not understanding a thing that was going on “ i’d hate if we intruded on your studying “

“ no please interrupt, if i don’t get a break i’m going to have a breakdown - “ you look back at the two of them standing in the middle of the living room, watching the way christophes neck craned to the side as his back stretched, removing his shovel from its usual place on his back, you never understood how casually he carried that thing around, the looks gained was always something that amused you without fail. clicking the kettle to make them their favourite beverages : tea, one sugar. coffee, black and no sugar. you wished your memory was as good in classes as it was remembering the pairs favourite things.

“ you better be lookin’ after yourself “ the way christophe spoke always sounded like an underling threat, “ you are, aren’t you ? “ his eyes are dark, a protective light to them that had you almost hypnotised on the spot - how you managed to get him, of all people, to give a shit about you always made you a little winded. christophe and gregory are so intense in everything they do, with every emotion they felt : the way they care was no different.

you opt to busying yourself as you pull out three cups from the upper cupboards, trying to act as if the intense stare didn’t make you waver on the spot, smile falling a little as your eyebrows crease together. there’s no point lying to them, they’ll call you out eventually “ as well as i can be “ now making the beverages, peaking up as you see christophe and gregory sit opposite you on the counter “ i’m just trying to get through this year at this point. i might have to add another year, but forget about me - “ sliding their respective cups across “ how was the trip ? “ you know they can’t say much regarding their work, despite how much you’ve pressed in the past - but you knew it was... less than legal. the less you know the safer you are, they had once said when you were still in the early days of knowing them, you knew to read the room and move on : to understand that their life was chaotic and violent, had seen enough that would bring the modern day man on the streets to his knees. you’re just happy that they trust you enough to stick around to even hint what they do, you’re happy just to provide them a safe place to return to.

“ i went to this charming little art museum when the moment allowed it, you would’ve loved it, ( y/n ) - “ “ more proof that ‘zis british bitch is a pussy, every time you talk i realise there’s no dick between your legs - “ “ do you think about whats between my legs a lot, dear christophe ? “

it was then all chaos broke out, them arguing between themselves in between sharing information about what they saw, you trying and failing to hold in the laughter over the rapid fire insults that was shared between the two men, you have no idea how long you were stood there and they were sat, speaking about nothing and everything, joking and biting insults that were filled with nothing but love but still with the intention to get it under the others skin. though just like always, the burning question of how long they’ll stay this time is in the back of your mind. you wished they stuck around, that their work didn’t drag them across the world for months, sometimes years at a time - but you never let them vocally know, and if they can see the way your face falls when they say they’re back in town for only a few days, they don’t mention it. you love them, and they loved you just as much : which is why none of you dared to confirm the emotions in the air, dare not make the roots already growing that much stronger. their lives were unpredictable and you couldn’t handle a world such as theirs, you didn’t deserve to be introduced to what their normal lives were for what they’d call selfish reasons. right now, they had you to come home to, and that was enough.

#christophe delorne x reader #gregory of yardale x reader #south park x reader #south park imagines #southparkxreader

108 notes · View notes

awritingtree · 3 years

Text

Never Enough (2/7)

Sirius Black x daughter!reader

Summary: Y/N Black is back at Hogwarts after running away from her father’s, Sirius Black’s, house during the summer. The year passes by and soon it’s the end of the year, with the OWLS finished. What happens when she finds out that her father was captured by Voldemort?

Words: ~2.5k

Warnings: angst, shitty father-daughter relationship, self-deprecating thoughts.

A/N: I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW! I know there isn’t a lot of Sirius x reader interactions in this chapter. There are some indirect interactions - or lack of. But I felt it was important to have this chapter and not skip a whole year from the summer to the end of 5th year. It also allowed to me to give more insight into the reader’s feelings. And I realize some parts seem rushed but like they aren’t really that important so... This chapter was important for the entire plot I have planned because we all know what’s coming in the next chapter :) Anyways I hope you enjoy this filler chapter in the mean time xx

Series Masterlist

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

The rest of your enjoyable summer back home with the Tonks flashed by and the next thing you knew, you were boarding the Hogwarts Express on September 1st. The return to Hogwarts was accompanied by a change in season, the green leaves changing colours ranging from red to orange to yellow; falling, leaving the trees bare. Following autumn came winter, which passed by just as fast. The grounds covered in soft snow, crunching beneath the feet of the various students making their way in and out of the castle.

Christmas arrived sooner than you’d thought. The white layer made the world look so pure, so peaceful. You had opted out of going home for Christmas. Any chance of actually staying home would be impossible with the Order of the Phoenix still in place at 12 Grimmauld Place. Since you hadn’t returned, you had sent Mr. Weasley a get-well-soon present on top of his Christmas gift.

So instead you had spent the holidays at Hogwarts in the company of your Slytherin friends, spending your days reading, enjoying the grand feasts in the Great Hall and catching up on some much-needed sleep. You had expected a gift, but you were left disappointed as you saw the only presents lying at the foot of your bed were from the Tonks, Ginny, Hermione, Mrs. Weasley and your Slytherin friends. Lying in bed that night, your memories took you to a time somewhere around the beginning of November.

“Ew! Could you maybe consider showering before deciding to show up in public?” Parkinson’s whiny voice entered your ears as you ventured into the Great Hall on a Saturday morning.

Your broomstick was tucked in your underarm as you tied off one end of your French-braided hair. You wore your green and silver quidditch uniform messily, having rushed out of bed from waking up late. You had decided not to take a shower beforehand, knowing you’d get filthy all over again in a matter of a few hours. The sleepiness was still visible on your face, eyes drooping with weariness.

“Piss off Parkinson. Go drool over Draco elsewhere if my appearance is bothering you so much,” you sneered, plopping down on the bench, pouring yourself some pumpkin juice.

The arrival of owls stopped Parkinson from cursing you out. You looked up to see a snowy owl make its way towards the Gryffindor table, dropping a letter into the hands of Harry Potter. Upon reading who had sent him a letter, Harry, Ron and Hermione quickly glanced your way before quickly looking away, huddling together to prevent anyone from reading whatever the letter entailed. You sighed looking down solemnly, knowing whose letter would elicit such a reaction from the trio. In this moment you had never hated the snake emblem across the area over your heart more.

You’d cried yourself to sleep that night. Not even the fact that Slytherin would finally have a chance to win the Quidditch House Cup, due to the banning of Gryffindor’s seeker and beaters, had cheered you up.

Both of those nights you had cried yourself to sleep, beating yourself up for ever expecting, for hoping, that this time away from your father had him changing his opinion on you. You didn’t know why you still cared. You didn’t understand why you craved his love, why you hadn’t given up on having any kind of relationship with him. You didn’t know why you still cared - you shouldn’t. You hated yourself for caring; but a small part of you, the five-year old girl that cried, begging for a chance to go visit her father for a year, still existed. No matter how many times you repeatedly denied it to yourself, you seeked his approval, his love.

You had fallen asleep on both of those nights wondering what you could possibly do to be worthy of his love, wondering why you were never enough.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Winter had come and gone in a jiffy. May brought sunshine, warmth and the blossoming of new life along with it. By now, the D.A. had been found and disbanded, the Inquisitorial squad was thriving off making every non-Slytherin’s life miserable - all because you, now, had a toad for a headmaster.

Your OWLs were coming up soon, pushing you to study more than you had ever before, distracting you from thinking about anything else.

“I don't understand why you talk to that blood traitor and mudblood.”

“Because they’re my friends, Draco,” you sighed, for what seemed like the millionth time, “And stop calling them that. It’s despicable.”

“You don’t need such friends. You have us,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, friends such as Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle, and Zabini? I think I’m good,” you replied, scoffing.

Draco pulled you around to face him by your upper arm.

“I’m just trying to look out for you. These times, they aren’t the best. You don’t need to risk putting yourself in danger by associating with such...” he trailed off.

“Such what?” you prompted him, encouraging him to say something he’d regret. He stayed silent, staring at you, trying to say what he couldn’t out loud through his eyes, but your irritation didn’t allow you to see past his words.

“And I don’t need you to look out for me. I don’t need anyone to look for me! I can do that very well on my own, thank you. You’re not my brother,” you exclaimed, wrenching your hand out of his grip.

A series of emotions; hurt, anger, sadness; flashed across his face - gone before you could make anything of it. Your face softened as you realized what you’d said.

“Draco, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,” you apologized immediately.

Draco moved out of the way just as you were about to lay our hand on his shoulder.

“No you’re right. I’m not your brother, Y/N,” spat Draco before softening his tone, “but I see you as my sister so I will continue to look out for you, no matter how you feel about it.”

He stormed away before you could get a second to respond, leaving you staring at the spot he’d previously occupied with a mixture of feelings.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

OWLs were finished. You couldn’t believe that you were finally done. Your plan was to set off towards the Black Lake right after your last exam, lie back in the grass with your eyes closed to soak up the warmth shining down on your face. You longed to hear the sound of overlapping water from the cool breeze lulling you into a state where for the first time since last year, you’d feel a sense of peace and quiet.

But it seemed the universe hated the idea of you relaxing, which is why you were currently in Umbridge’s - Umbitch as you liked to call her - with the rest of the Inquisitorial squad along with a few former D.A. members. You were all waiting on Professor Snape to make his way to office, upon Umbridge’s order request. In addition to the purrs of the many cat pictures hanging on the horrid pink walls, the office was filled with the sounds of D.A. members trying to pull away from the Inquisitorial Squad’s grips.

“You wanted to see me, Headmistress?” asked Professor Snape entering the room as he eyed the struggling students, unconcerned.

Umbridge stood up smiling widely, almost cynically, “Yes. I would like a bottle of Veritaserum. I wish to interrogate Mr. Potter here.”

“You used up the last of the Veritaserum I had on your previous interrogation with Potter. Surely you didn’t use it all?”

“I’m sure you can make some more,” Umbridge replied with an overly sweet smile that made you want to vomit from the sight of it.

“Unless you wish to poison him - I have the greatest sympathy if you do - I can’t help you, not until it’s ready after a month,” Professor Snape said as he looked towards Harry.

Harry’s face scrunched up, seeming to concentrate on communicating something to Snape but his attempt was futile.

“You’re on probation! You’re deliberately being unhelpful. Now get out of my office!” shrieked Umbridge.

Snape blankly looked at her unbothered before turning to head out of the door.

“He’s got Padfoot! He’s got Padfoot at the place where it’s hidden!”

You felt like you had just been drenched in ice cold water at Harry’s shouts.

‘He? Who is he? It had to be Voldemort. Who else could have Harry in such a terrified state? But no, it couldn’t be possible,’ you thought.

Ginny’s wince brought you out of your spiralizing thoughts. You loosened your tightening grip on her hand, too panic-stricken to mutter an apology. Your wide eyes drifted from Harry to Professor Snape.

“Padfoot?” exclaimed Umbridge, “What is Padfoot? Where what is hidden? Snape, what do you know about this?”

Snape turned back around to face Harry. His face was unreadable. You just hoped he would get some help, that he understood what Harry was shouting about.

“I have no idea,” he drawled, “Potter is speaking nonsense.”

You watched him walk out the door. Your palms had started to shake and sweat, everything drowned out. The only thing you could concentrate on was Snape, hoping he would give away any sign that he understood, he was going to do something. For once it seemed the universe had your back because just before he shut the door, his eyes made contact with yours as he moved his head, his nod bare visible. Relief flowed through your nerves; help was on the way.

You tuned into the conversation when you heard Hermione’s shrieks, “No! Professor- that’s illegal.”

Umbridge paid no mind to Hermione, raising her wand at Harry. Your hands clenched around your wand, preparing to take any action if needed as Hermione tried to convince Umbridge to stop.

“What Cornelius doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Umbridge said, “Cruc-”

“NO!” your shout was drowned out by Hermione’s.

“Harry, we- we have to tell her,” she cried.

“It seems little Miss Question-all is going to give us some answers! Go on, then,” said Umbridge, triumphantly.

You stared at Hermione questionably. What was she doing? She couldn’t tell that toad anything. The Ministry would surely get your father and then- you didn’t want to think what would happen if they got their hands on him.

“He was trying to speak to Professor Dumbledore,” Hermione said in between her cries.

You felt Ginny tense in your grip in surprise as you suppressed the urge to sigh out loud in relief. Your eyes drifted around the room trying to think of a way to get yourself out of this situation and to Professor Snape. You needed to find a way to leave and help. You think you heard Hermione tell Umbridge about some weapon Dumbledore left in the forbidden forest in between your racing thoughts. You found the perfect opportunity as Umbridge headed out the door with Hermione and Harry. As soon as their footsteps could no longer be heard, all hell broke loose.

Ron slammed his head back into Warrington’s nose. You let go of Ginny, moving to get Crabbe off of Neville Longbottom, as she moved to go help Luna.

“Stupefy!” you yelled, pointing your wand towards Crabbe. You rushed to Neville, crouching down next to him as he caught his breath, “You okay?”

Neville weakly nodded. Satisfied with his nod, you got up to go help the rest. You felt Draco look at you, betrayed that you were helping the others, right before Ginny got him with the Bat-Bogey Hex. You felt a curse fly by you, grazing your cheek as someone pushed you to the side. Blood trickled down your cheek, dripping down staining your robes.

“What in the bloody hell are you doing, Ginny!? She’s one of them!” yelled Ron.

“No she’s not. She-”

“What do you mean? You see that badge, right? You do remember when she was holding you hostage right now? How about all the time she spent trying to catch the D.A.?” he rambled.

Ginny rolled her eyes exasperated, “Oh stop being so dramatic and listen. She’s not one of them. She’s been helping us all along. Why do you think no one patrolled near the seventh-floor corridor on the days we had a D.A. meeting?”

Ron shifted his eyes from Ginny, whose cheek had long scratches much like yours, to you before returning back to his sister, “That’s a load of codswallop.”

“We don’t have the time for this; We need to get going,” you said, impatiently. You did not have the time to convince anyone on whose side you were on. Your father could be dead by now for all you knew, and you had no clue how quick the Order would be informed to make their way towards wherever he was captured.

Ron opened his mouth, preparing to spew out an argument, “I’m sorry. We-”

“Look. Voldemort has my father right now and Salazar knows what he’s doing to him. No matter what has happened, he is my father. And you are not as smart as I give you credit for if you for a second think, I am not coming with you lot.”

“She’s right. We should get going. We’re wasting time,” Neville spoke up.

Ron looked between Ginny, Neville and you before begrudgingly agreeing.

You all quickly made your way out of the castle and towards the Forbidden Forest. You bumped into Harry and Hermione on your way there.

“How’d you get away?” asked Harry, surprised.

“Couple of hexes. Neville threw a good Impediment Jinx. Though, Ginny was the best, she got Malfoy good with a Bat-Bogey Hex. Anyway, what’ve you done with Umbridge?” replied Ron.

“Carried away by a herd of centaurs.”

“They left you behind?” asked a shocked Ginny.

“No, they got chased off by Grawp.”

“Whose Grawp?” questioned Luna, intrigued.

“Hagrid’s little brother,” explained Hermione.

“Never mind that!” interrupted Ron, “What did you find out in the fire? Does You-Know-Who have Sirius or-?”

“Yes” said Harry, “I’m sure Sirius is still alive but I’m not sure how to get there to help him.”

Everyone fell silent, the situation looking hopeless.

“What’s she doing here?” Harry asked, his eyes finally landing on you.

“He’s my father, Harry. Did you really think I was going to let you go alone?” you said, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Why? It’s not like you’ve cared before,” he retaliated causing rage to consume you at his unfiltered and forward words.

‘How dare he say that? I haven’t cared!?’

You opened your mouth to rebuttal, ready to release your wrath on the boy looking at you accusingly before Luna chimed in, paying no attention to the tension in the air.

“Well, we’ll have to fly, won’t we?”

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

General taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @kashishwrites @remmyswritings @angelinathebook @idont-knowrn @coffee--writes @kinkyduuh @ickle-ronniekins

Never enough taglist: @evilluciferisevil @slyther-inn @bloodyxheaven @gcdric @mycobrakai1972 @loony-loopy-lupinn @the-mighty-bookworm @mads-bri @tessaem @hannah220506 @hariosborn @kpopgirlbtssvt

Lmk if you wanted to be added to either taglist :)

315 notes · View notes

letoscrawls · 3 years

Note

What are your Extremely Italian Opinions? Anything from politics to pasta, drop some hot takes

mmmmm good question! even though i'm not a proud italian as i'm very critical of this country and i'd love to live abroad in the future, i do have typical italian opinions that i'm ready to die for. I’m sure these will be mainly about food, but let’s see:

-say whatever you want, but italian food is the best food in the entire world, not only it’s healthy but it’s also delicious and no nation can compare :) no you can’t change my mind :) every time i watch Ratatouille i cringe so bad at the beginning when they say that French cuisine is known to be the best in the world??? that’s so false and i don’t even find it funny, we italians take food so seriously and if you dare criticize something about our food we take it very personal, yes, IT IS THAT DEEP.

-idk if it's a take but i find it funny that we don't use ice that much?? like i was so shocked to learn that smoothies are made WITH ICE?? we almost never use it, we definitely don't put it in coffee and we have this strange belief that ice gives you stomachache, especially if you want to take a bath, we usually wait two or three hours before taking a bath after a meal, especially if there's ice in it somewhere lol i think it's a typical Italian Grandma Advice but we all follow it religiously. Even though i know it's bizarre i can't help but wait at least two hours after my meal before having any kind of contact with water

-No one dubs movies and cartoons like italians. Our voice actors are superior (but the italian Rebels dub is terrible, don’t watch Rebels in italian, everyone sounds very bad except for Thrawn, surprisingly his voice better than the original and i've already talked about this in my ig stories some time ago haha) and i often watch shows and movies in italian even tho it's "trendy" nowadays to watch everything in english. Tbh i think that a country with a strong tradition of voice acting shouldn't neglect it in favor of the original language, just because something was made in english it doesn't make it better. For example, the prequel trilogy is insanely better in italian, while i love Hayden's performance as Anakin i think that sometimes...it lacks emotion? the italian dub makes up for those parts, i couldn't understand why international fans used to despise the PT so much at first, especially the acting. There isn't one single character in the prequels that sounds bad, really. Same thing goes for Disney classics, i find them 100% funnier in italian (the most memorable example is Emperor's New Groove, the main characters are voiced by some of the funniest comedians we have, they all did an amazing job), even tho some characters are voiced by celebrities who don't do voice acting on a regular basis the result is always phenomenal. Honorable mention to the Genie in Aladdin who is voiced by Gigi Proietti, an actor and comedian of immesurable talent who passed away a few days ago, his performance is on the same level of Robin Williams' imo. So yeah, i'm a huge fan of italian voice acting in case you didn't notice

-regarding politics, lots of people here say that we have the "best democracy in the world" or something like that.........eh, i highly doubt it. I hate this country because there is no meritocracy, you're most likely to succeed if you have good connections or a powerful family. The worst part is that this applies to EVERYTHING and it's terrible. Also there's a big imbalance between North Italy and South Italy, so it's hard to succeed and have access to a good education if you're born in the South and you're poor. And it's a shame. I was lucky enough to live near a very good university so i pay for taxes and nothing else, but only those who are born in wealthy families in the south can afford university in the north as universities in the south are not that good in general. it's really a shame bc south italy is freaking beautiful but the government doesn't spend the same amount of time, energy and money and that's also one of the reasons crime rates are so high there. truly every single issue in Italy could be resolved by funding our education system but most politicians don't give a flying fuck about it and it shows :/

-University in italy is considered a privilege, something that people do because they are too lazy to go to work and get "a real job". we have one of the lowest rates of student getting a degree in europe and yet a lot of people are expected to be jobless for years after graduating uni. it's crazy. there is no respect or consideration for university students since you're not obliged by law to attend one but it's your choice. university professors are terrible, they act like we don't have a personal life and in most cases will make everything so hard that you'll need to take an exam even 15 times before passing it. a friend of mine who is a prodigy in Math attended a really good university in Switzerland and he told me that you can take exams a max of 3 times there but you usually don't need to because they are much easier to pass?? also exams are so hard to pass, my degree is a living hell, you have to take multiple tests, do projects and assignments to pass one freaking exam, while the entire world has the paper system, so you basically write a paper and then the teacher grades it and guess what??? YOU LEARN STUFF ANYWAY. i hate that university in italy takes so much years, tears and mental energy to finish and this leads me to my next point

-healthcare. Italy has one of the best healthcare systems in the world because, well, it's free! You have some kind of bills to pay, but they are not as expensive as in the US, the country got a huge debt at some point in the 60s/70s (i guess??) to afford free healthcare but it was really worth it!! HOWEVER, i think it's pointless to have free healthcare for literally anything besides mental health. sadly, mental health is a tough topic here, if you suffer from a mental illness you're considered crazy, an attention seeker, incapable of being a normal citizen and stuff like that. therapists are super expensive and only wealthy people can afford them. personally, i can't afford one and i would love to since i suffer from anxiety and maybe other things (but i guess i'll never know since my country doesn't give a fuck lmao). and university students are most likely to have mental health issues due to the terrible conditions we live in, yet society ignores us, this results in very high suicide rates among students in their twenties. i honestly hate it so fucking much, especially because studying psychology is considered "easy" and you'll probably be jobless after your degree. psychologists are doctors, they deserve to be paid like any other doctor because they save lives, for real.

So uhm this was supposed to be funny but ended being very critical hahahaha

#ask #long post #THIS TOOK ME WEEKS TO WRITE WTF #hahahaha

60 notes · View notes

metvmorqhoses · 2 years

Note

How many and which languages do you know??

I'd like to premise that I am not good at languages in the slightest.

I live for language as a form of becoming, as an anthropological happening which shapes and defines us as we shape and define it, yet as much as my talent resides into being able to sense, understand and occasionally bend the labyrinth that it is (writers are just that) in order to be and create, to ultimately single out meaning from the chaos of the soul, the linguistic spirit in me is actually really static, and above all, relegated to the written word (and to a very specific one).

I find the written relationship with language to be the exact opposite to what we normally identify as the predisposition to "languages" (namely the predisposition to speak many different ones more or less effortlessly).

My being is furiously attached to a specific language. It has to be, or I wouldn't be able to really write in it.

And getting to be that intimate with many languages is not only wildly difficult in my eyes, but somehow I feel like it shatters you while enriching you - principally as an artist, but as a person as well.

Don't people who can easily learn many languages feel like some kind of shapeshifters with many personalities? Is it just me?

I like to navigate languages philologically, as the forking paths of the many veins of the many branches forming the very same tree, I find it beyond fascinating, especially to understand human nature, but at the same time the more languages I know - the more languages I let in -, the more I feel my writing (the supreme way of using language I can conceive) losing its original purity.

Adding languages to a person means adding ways to be and feel, emotions and thoughts that many times can be only truly expressed in their language of birth and which leave you wordless in every other.

You cannot be exactly the same person in every language, and artists have to somehow be. Being unable to carry yourself over every writing medium (from language to language) is maddening.

I find that something in me always rebels to this every time I get exposed to a new language, resulting in me being very language-resistant lol if that makes any sense. I don't easily pick up accents or spoken tongues. I know many people who can do that unconsciously even spending a week abroad or in another region. I'm the opposite of that. I have a death grip on very specific languages and in a very complex way that can hardly be switched even when I'd like to. I have to force myself and the results are far from effortless.

I felt like explaining this because I believe only two languages ever cut that deep in me to actually state I know them - my mother tongue, which is Italian, and English. Italian and English represent respectively my childhood and my becoming.

That said, knowing Italian, I can pretty much understand the majority of the romance languages, especially when written. I've never studied Spanish or Portuguese, but I can easily understand 70% of them at any given moment.

I also have studied French for three years and spent most of my childhood summers in France, so I am not absolutely oblivious to it and can absolutely read in French, maybe searching a few words depending on the difficulty of the text (actually my Egyptology exam at uni was based only on 1800s manuals written in French lol and I had no problem reading them, even if I wouldn't call reading in French a pleasure). Adding to that, I'm from the Northern part of Italy, so my grandparents only spoke Piemontese (Piedmont dialect) with each other, thing that resulted in me completely understanding it (yet I cannot speak it for the life of me lol). Piemontese is very close to French.

Adding to this, I know Latin and Ancient Greek quite well, I studied them at both high school and uni - I've never attempted to speak in them if not when quoting things or reading but I think it's understandable lol

Also lately I discovered I can understand certain things in German without having a single clue of the language (I discovered German Opera, you know), passing through English and other languages, but I'm far from knowing it in a proficient way. It was a fun thing to realize tho.

#anon #asks/replies #about me #one and one thousand stories lis told

6 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

hi, do you have some Johnlock shower sex fics (maybe bottomlock) ? thank you,love your blogs

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Καλημέρα (or good afternoon depending where your from😁) Would you by any chance have any fics of john and sherlock like showering together? It could be smut or not, I just think that showering with your s/o is kinda cute and they would be adorable 🥺 Thank You 🥰

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hey, I was wondering if you have any fluffy bath-sharing fics?

Hi Nonny!

Aww, thanks, I’m glad you enjoy my blog!

AHHHH Okay so I know I have a tonne of fics with Shower Sex, but I haven’t started retagging fics until recently with this because someone asked me AGES ago with them, LOL

SHOWERING / BATHING TOGETHER

Through A Glass by Mildredandbobbin (M, 2,012 w., 1 Ch. || Voyeurism, Masturbation, First Kiss) – There is an adjoining door in the bathroom at 221B that leads into Sherlock’s bedroom. The door, from the bathroom to Sherlock’s bedroom, is made of three glass, semi-opaque panels. It has suddenly come to Sherlock’s attention that if he stands in exactly the right spot in his bedroom he can see through said panels, and more to the point, can see John.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

Uninhibited by 221b_hound (M, 4,293 w., 1 Ch. || Bathing/Washing, Naked Cuddling, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Big Brother Mycroft, Relationship Negotiation, Massage, Sherlock Has a Low Libido, Pet Names) – Sherlock and John have been apart for the first time since Sherlock returned from the dead. Neither of them has had a good day. John's gets worse when Mycroft comes to Baker Street in Sherlock's absence to warn John Watson against disappointing his brother by expecting things to change. Mycroft has misjudged things rather badly. But finally he sods off and leaves John and Sherlock to reconnect, to give and receive comfort, and show each other that they are, indeed, perfectly matched. Part 15 of Unkissed

Linger by queenoftrivia (E, 4,879 w., 1 Ch. || Lingerie, Fluff and Smut, BJ / HJ, Switchlock, Sherlock in Lingerie, Come Play, Dirty Talk, Anal Fingering, Anal/Oral, Implied Shower Sex, Neck Kissing) – Sherlock decides to surprise John after a somewhat stressful day at work.

What Happens in Vegas (is legally binding in the United Kingdom) by moonblossom (E, 5,051 w., 1 Ch. || Accidental Marriage, Friends to Husbands to Lovers, CSI Crossover, Fluff & Porn, Bathtub Sex, Hand Jobs, First Time) – When a case sends the boys to Vegas, John comes out of it with a bit more than he bargained for. Part 19 of Prompt Fills, Remixes, Works inspired by others

The Bathing Habits of Dr. John H. Watson by scullyseviltwin (T, 5,077 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Happy Endings, Domestics, Baths, Slice of Life Snippets) – The knocks come crisply—three raps and then a long span of quiet. Slumping down further, John makes every effort to ignore the intrusion and relaxes as best he can in the less-than-ideal space available. If he doesn’t move, maybe he’ll be left in peace. There’s a brief respite of silence and then, again, three more raps on the door, in faster succession this time, followed by, “John, it’s been an hour, how can you possibly—” “We agreed two, two hours.” There’s no room for argument; John’s tone makes that very clear.It sounds as though Sherlock’s mouth is pressed right to the door when he next speaks. “What if I need the toilet!?”

Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.

Johnlock Ficlet Collection by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 11,505+ w., 16/? Ch. [WiP] | Random Ficlets, Pining, Angst, Fluff & Smut, Parentlock, AU’s, First Kiss, Character POV’s) - Just a collection of Johnlock ficlets, originally posted on my Tumblr page.

I'll Meet You in Hong Kong by alexxphoenix42 (E, 12,767 w., 5 Ch. || Freebatch RPF || Phone / Shower Sex, Infidelity, Polyamory, Bit of Angst, Cuddles) – Benedict and Martin's busy, busy schedules have them grabbing a few nights together in Hong Kong during Ben's Doctor Strange junket. They both have news to share. While this does pick up after the story "Forever 1895," you don't absolutely have to read that one to dive on in here. Part 2 of Forever Freebatch

A Hundred Thousand Ways to Say the Name John by Jberry (E, 16,825 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, POV John, Pining John, Cruise Ship, Angst & Fluff, Case Fic) – John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts. Part 1 of Baetica

John Watson doesn't have a Boyfriend by naughtyspirit (E, 18,932 w., 7 Ch. || UST / URT, Fluff & Smut, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – John's date has gone very well. Sherlock requires tea. John wishes he hadn't resolved that their relationship was strictly hands off and isn't about to address it. Unless he has to. Smut, fluff and shower time for a naked John Watson.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. || H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,086 w., 16 Ch. || Drumsticks, First Kiss/Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery, Anal, Rimming, Orgasim Denial, Butt Plugs, Cooking, Furniture Sex, Bath Sex, Rimming, Double Penetration, Prostate Massage, Anal Beads, Dancing, Romance, Tantric Edging, Internalized Homophobia, Case as Foreplay) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.

The Moonlight and the Frost by CaitlinFairchild (E, 77,289 w., 10 Ch. || Case Fic, Post-HLV, Self Harm, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Oral/Anal/Rimming, Romance, Angst, Mary is Not Nice) – John has to somehow rebuild his life in the wake of Mary's betrayal and Sherlock's deceptions.

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #showering #bathing #my fic recs #Anonymous

201 notes · View notes

captainscanadian · 4 years

Text

Reputation | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 2)

My Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Summary: The first few weeks of classes had certainly hit you like a freight train. But thankfully, Bucky was there to help you get through it all.

Word Count: 3336

Pairing: College!Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter, Natasha Romanoff,

Warnings: No Smut, Only Fluff, Exam Stress

A/N: Reputation was heavily inspired by Taylor Swift’s iconic album of the same name and her song Delicate off of that album. This is my entry for @buckysmischief‘s 1K Writing Challenge. I’d like to thank my boo @baezen once again for being a good beta and for the constant love. Lastly, the reason why this whole fic (and my blog itself) exists in the first place was because I was reading @i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend‘s College AUs and wanted to write one of my own. GO READ IT, IT’S THE BEST COLLEGE AU EVER READ! This fic is an unofficial AU of my own fic, Better, but you don’t have to have read it to read this fic. Same characters, but they meet in a completely different time of their lives, under completely different circumstances. I DON’T OWN THE GIFS. CREDITS TO THE OWNERS. I DON’T DO TAGLISTS.

The sun was shining bright against the parted curtains as you awoke the next day, the sapphire-like eyes of Bucky Barnes gleaming against the light as they landed on yours.

A gasp as your eyes met his; you stared up at him with your brows raised. “James, have you been watching me sleep?”

He gave you a tight-lipped smile before leaning over to kiss your forehead. “Not my fault that you look so gorgeous when you’re asleep...”

“Creep.” You giggled, climbing out of his bed and grabbing your clothes from the floor.

“Leaving so soon?” Bucky asked you, his lips curling into a pout.

You sat on the edge of his bed as you slipped into your undergarments. “I was hoping to get a head start on some readings before my new roommate gets in at noon.”

“Studious much, doll?” He remarked. “Do I need to remind you that classes haven’t even started yet? You don’t have to go at full speed so early on in the semester. You’ll burn out.”

“But I’ve got a 4.0 to maintain and MCATs to prepare for. I’m sure you know that this year’s not a joke, James.” You clarified once you got dressed. “I have no time for distractions.”

“Is that all I am to you? A distraction?”

“I didn’t say that you were.” You giggled, crawling over to straddle his lap. “But you did keep me from studying last night so... yeah, I guess that does make you a distraction.”

“I really don’t want to distract you from doing well in school, so I’ll make you a deal. How about that?” He suggested, wrapping his arms around you and looking up at you with a genuine smile. “I’ll tutor you again this year... free of charge, of course. That way you don’t have to worry about that GPA of yours and you can have some fun without beating yourself up over it – which, I’ve noticed is something that you seem to do a lot.”

“If you wanted me to sleep with you again, all you had to do was ask instead of beating around the bush, James.” You told him with a cheeky grin, neither of them wanting to deny the attraction that you had been feeling for years. “But since you’re offering, I don’t think I could turn down a good tutor. You’re pretty much the reason why I made the Dean’s List my freshman year.”

You were well aware that Bucky Barnes’ reputation included not sleeping with someone more than once. The untold truth around campus included that he gives you your best night but he doesn't call you back. For some odd reason, you felt that your ordeal with James was more than just a one time thing. There was something about the look in his eyes that said he’d wanted more to do with you, and deep down you did too. For now though, you could definitely accept the sex and the tutoring sessions combined.

“Yes, we can be study buddies!” A triumphant smile was on his face as he hugged you tight, making you fall off of his lap and onto the bed as you laughed.

“It’s going to be freshman year all over again, isn’t it? But with the sex this time.” You pointed out as you climbed off of his bed. “I should really get going though. I do have some errands to run and I don’t want to get stuck in traffic.”

“I’ll walk you out.” He told you, climbing out of bed and pulling on his briefs. Grabbing his t-shirt from the floor, he pulled it over his head before turning back to you.“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for breakfast, Y/N? I think Steve should be up and making breakfast right now. His French toast is to die for.”

You shook your head. “James, you’re really taking the ‘shame’ out of my walk of shame.” You giggled, throwing your arms over his neck. “How about some other time?”

“You have nothing to be ashamed of.” He grabbed onto your waist and leaned in for a quick kiss. “I had a wonderful time last night.”

“Do you say that to all your other one night stands?” You asked him with a smirk, though you couldn’t deny that you had a wonderful time as well. Bucky Barnes sure did live up to his reputation.

“No, just the ones who are so beautiful, intelligent and hardworking.”

You couldn’t help but blush at that comment. “Flattery will get you everywhere, James.”

A hearty laugh escaped his lips as he tilted his head back, and you couldn’t help but notice how his eyes lit up at that moment. You had never seen him like this before.

Up until then, the James you knew only ever let you see his eyes when they were filled with lust. But after last night, he seemed a lot less rigid. You couldn’t deny that there was a certain sense of comfort that came with the physical intimacy that you had shared.

It was a strange feeling to say the least, but you were unable to describe it. For someone with a hell of a lot of trust issues, thanks to Margaret Sykes, you found yourself believing that you could put all of your trust in someone else on campus – let alone New York University’s resident Casanova.

“I always wondered why you chose to stay behind at NYU when you could have gone to Columbia with me.” Steve Rogers pointed out to his best friend who barged into the kitchen after bidding farewell to his recent one night stand, who happened to be someone he knew very well. “And now I know the answer to that.”

Bucky could not help but roll his eyes as he walked up to the kitchen island. A part of him was eager to let him know how right he was, but he knew better than to give Steve that kind of satisfaction. Confirming that you had something to do with him going to NYU Med would mean that he would not hear the end of it. The Casanova of NYU staying behind for medical school for a girl he had once tutored? Oh, the horror!

Sitting up on the stool next to his best friend’s girlfriend, he looked down at his plate of a full English breakfast before raising his eyebrow. “Good morning, you punk.” He chuckled before turning over to look at Peggy. “Good morning, Peggy. I hope I didn’t cause the two of you any disturbance last night.”

“Oh no, I passed out quite early last night. I’m still running on London time.” The woman pointed out as she took a bite of her breakfast. As she had spent the summer months across the pond with her brother, she was quite jet lagged. “And I’m sure that Steve’s gotten used to your wild nights while I’ve been away. Haven’t you, darling?”

“It’s your place, Buck. You can do whatever you want.” Steve fixed himself a plate of breakfast before walking around the kitchen island to take a seat next to Peggy. “But you and Y/N... I’ll be honest, Bucky. I never would have seen it coming.”

“Yeah, but you live here too. I just wanted to give you that respect and courtesy.” Chuckling softly as he picked up his fork to eat, Bucky nodded his head in agreement. “Believe me, I didn’t see it coming either. Y/N was not like the others, Steve. She wouldn’t sleep with me just because everyone else was sleeping with me and that actually made her stand out.”

“But now that you’ve slept with her-”

“Steve, there’s absolutely no need for you to be jumping into conclusions right now.” He cut him off. “I know that you’re concerned because she’s someone you know. But I promise you, there’s nothing else going on between Y/N and I.” He clarified. “We just slept together and I offered to tutor her for this semester because she’s thinking of taking the MCATs.”

But the blonde haired man could not get himself to believe his best friend that easily. “It’s not that I know her, Bucky. I know you. I know that emotional availability... Not your cup of tea. And Y/N seems like someone who wants something like that and I’d hate to see you ruin her.”

“Come on, Steve! It’s not like I would have had the time for my shenanigans once classes start back up again. Can’t a guy have a little fun before his first week of med school, pal?” He asked with a shrug of his shoulders, finally taking a bite of his food. “Besides, it’s not like I forced her into it either. She said she wanted it and I did too.”

“Consent is extremely important.” Peggy gave him a pat on the shoulder. “I’m so proud of you, mate.”

Bucky gave her a smile before turning back to his best friend. “I know I have a reputation, Steve, and I’m not always proud of it. But I’m trying my best to change my ways. I can’t keep going on like this and I do know that. You have nothing to worry about.”

“If you say so.” Steve nodded, smiling. “To be honest, I am kind of glad that she’s having a little fun. I’ve never met someone who had so much time on her hands until I met her. That poor girl used to sign up for eight hour blocks when volunteering for UNICEF while everyone else did one of two hours a week. Her commitment to the club was truly concerning.”

Bucky could not help but let out a genuine laugh at that. As he was well aware that you had sworn against having a social life after the Margaret incident, he understood why you would have spent so much time volunteering when you weren’t studying.

But he was also grateful to be able to get you to change your mind about having a little fun. After all, college was all about change and growth. And as it turns out, the two of you would get to grow up together.

Once you got back to your dorm, you had found the time to clean up your room and have a quick shower before your new roommate was due to arrive. But if first impressions were the best impressions, then Natasha Romanoff seemed to be one of the sweetest human beings you could have ever met. A few years older than you, she was a master’s student studying Global Journalism at Gallatin after completing her undergrad at UCLA.

One thing you knew about the Gallatin students: they were all about the self-study so you need not worry that your academic goals would be any different from your roommate’s.

“I’m taking a few classes here in the fall and finalizing my research proposal in the winter. Hopefully, I can land an internship with the UN for the summer months.” She explained. “I’ve always wanted to work for the UN, so the internship would be a great start to that.”

“If you’re interested in working for the UN, may I interest you in an executive position with the UNICEF chapter on campus? I am the current president of the club, because our last one graduated and went off to Columbia Med School. I could definitely use someone who’s a lot more... familiar with the organization being on the executive committee.” You suggested, laughing softly as you finally started warming up to her. “If you have the time, of course... I do know that master’s classes may be time consuming.”

“Oh no, I’m down for it. I was actually going to look into the club myself.” The redhead admitted, grinning widely. “I can certainly offer a few hours a week to help you out. Would you need me to apply for the executive position or is it free for all around here?”

“First off, I would have to put up an application on the clubs page and then promote the hell out of it during Clubs Week, which is the second week of school. I have so much to do and I’m getting ahead of myself here.” You clarified with a laugh. “But it’s yours if you want it. You’re certainly qualified for it.”

Laughing softly at your over-enthusiasm with running the club, something that she certainly seemed to identify with, she nodded in agreement. “Well, if you need me to help you out with anything, you know where I live.” She winked.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” You smiled back at her, certainly relieved that you were getting along with your new roommate.

The first few weeks of classes had certainly hit you like a freight train. But juggling a full-time course load had become a lot easier than you had expected after a while; thanks to James Barnes and his genuine commitment to being anything but a distraction for you. Your weekends off had been spent studying together at the library – sharing an entire table in one of the quiet spaces, your textbooks and notepads spread out, along with highlighters and felt pens in primary colors.

Perks of his photographic memory, Bucky did not take as much time to retain the information as you did. So, once he had reviewed the study notes that he had already memorized, a majority of his time was spent helping you create your colour-coded flash cards. Your study dates were always productive, neither of you mentioning the other half of your ordeal until you had covered all of the material you needed to cover.

It was only when the two of you decided to call it a night and stepped out of the library did the man look over at you with a smirk on his lips. “Feelin’ tired yet, doll?”

You would shake your head as you walked along the sidewalk. “I think I’ve had a productive day. I think I deserve a little fun.” You would say with a blush, and the two of you would head back to your dorm, leaving Natasha to be sexiled to the common room. She never seemed to mind it though, since at least one of you was getting some action.

But even though the sex was good, school always came first to the both of you.

Following your biochemistry mid-term that morning, you found yourself trotting across campus to the Student Life office to begin your afternoon shift. Dried up leaves crunching under your converse as you skipped along the sidewalk, you let out a hearty breath to see the condensation rise to the air.

The sunny weather disappeared weeks ago, taken over by the chilly autumn winds. Halloween was coming up soon and the UNICEF chapter on campus had managed to run a successful food drive as the first campaign for the semester. You had been planning to drive the donations down to your nearest Feeding America facility that weekend. But for now, you needed sleep... or maybe a cup of coffee to get you through your shift.

As you entered the office, you quickly removed your denim jacket and hung it up on one of the hooks. Taking in the warmth of being indoors for a moment, you walked around the desk and sat down on the empty seat next to your co-worker whom you had been frequently scheduled to work with. “Hey, Wanda.”

“You look dead.” The woman pointed out in the midst of chewing a bite of her lunch, her eyes glued to the screen in front of her as she read through an email.

“I feel dead.” You admitted, laughing softly. A few days had passed since the last time you’d had a good night’s sleep, and now that midterms were over you were longing to finish off your shift and get some well-deserved rest. “And I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten anything since this morning.”

“Want a bite?”

The familiar aroma of paprika drifted up your nostrils as she held her Tupperware container towards you, making your stomach growl. Your lips curl into a smirk as you before you shook your head. “No, thank you. I’ll be fine... I take it your boyfriend cooked for you again?”

She nodded, grinning widely. “It may have taken him a few tries but he’s finally mastered how to make chicken paprikash.”

“I think you’ve pretty much won if you’ve found a man who makes sure you’re well-fed.” You agreed, laughing softly before you the sound of the door opening made you turn your head.

You blinked your eyes to be rid of your exhaustion as you saw James Barnes enter the office. The smile on your lips growing wider as he approached you, you looked over at him with your eyebrows raised. But what caught your eyes wasn’t just the fatigue that was evident in his eyes. You also noticed that he was holding a brown paper bag and a coffee cup.

“Hello, beautiful.” He set down the cup and the bag on the counter in front of you as he came to a stop, his eyes not leaving yours as he spoke. “How’d it go this morning?”

“Pretty good...” You nodded, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly before you let out a yawn. “I think Fury’s being a little easy on us this semester.”

“That’s good.” He smiled at you before turning over to look at Wanda. “Hello, Maximoff.”

“Hey, Bucky.” The woman greeted him, her gaze returning to the screen in front of her as she took another bite of her lunch.

As it turns out, Bucky and Wanda had known each other through his sister. A brother from another mother, she’d called him when he had first stopped by the office to see you a few weeks ago. But he had been popping by every now and then, sometimes to drop off some study notes that you had forgotten and other times to bring you some food if you had mentioned that you had no time to eat between classes and your shift.

“What brings you here, James?”

“I just finished my last midterm for Anatomy this morning and I knew that you had your last one too. I thought you could use a little something to celebrate, maybe a little pick-me-up to help you get through the shift.” He replied, motioning towards the bag. “They’re the cannoli’s that you liked from that little Italian place in Brooklyn.”

A tired smile on your lips as you looked up at him; you reached over the counter to grab the bag. “Thank you. You’re the best.”

A soft grin on his face as he ran his hand through his hair, he gave you a nod. “I should get going. I have to pick Steve up from his exam. Text me when you get home, yeah?”

You nodded, your cheeks heating up as you watched him step away from the counter. “Yeah... bye.”

Once he turned around and walked out of the office, you reached into the bag to grab a cannoli for yourself. You could feel Wanda’s prying eyes staring down at you and you turned to face her. “Want a bite?”

Her eyebrow raised as she looked over at you, she let out a sigh of disbelief. “That was like the third or fourth time this month.” She noted. “If you’re really going to tell me that there’s nothing going on between the two of you, I’d say you should find someone who’s dumb enough to believe it, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes as you swallowed your bite. “Oh come on, Wanda, it’s nothing!”

“I think you’ve pretty much won if you’ve found a man who makes sure you’re well-fed... Yeah, that doesn’t look like nothing to me, darling.” She told you with a rather mocking tone in her voice, and you could not help but let out a laugh at that.

#gabs1kwritingchallenge #aj writes #reputation #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes series #college!bucky #college au

112 notes · View notes

danieragarushia · 3 years

Text

A lot of things had happened...

It's been a while since I don't post anything here on Tumblr, and tbh I've been kinda busy with some matters from school.

My last day of high school was June 4th, and my last class was Human Geography (yeah, the subject itself was kinda kinky) but my teacher, she is a phycologist, and she planned for that last class specifically a small workshop where she read poems from Paulo Coelho... There was one that caught my attention, it was about closure but with a more profound meaning, because, the poem itself talked about how we as individuals are supposed to get hurt, and be damaged, but the only way to overcome this is to go through it, to feel it all, and then to accept it and embrace it as a part of who you are now.

Idk, it was very corny, but it made me emotional to the bone, these last few months were really difficult for me, I got to the limit studying for my three college exams while also sustaining high school and learning French and German (which btw it's really hard).

The best part of this is that at the end I made it, it is finally over, all of that stress and anxiety are gone, but now I feel a void on my chest, and it won't go away no matter how much I try not to think about it.

But... at what cost??, honestly, I thought that I'd be happier since I already received one of the results of my admission, and it turned out to be positive, (to put you on context, I applied for three careers: medicine, nutrition and law). Of over 700 aspirants who applied for law, only 136 were able to make it.

July 10th is the day where I receive the results from medicine and nutrition, it is worse for those ones, in medicine over 3,000 applied, and they'll accept 90.

My mom is a lawyer, and she's really good at it, my first option was supposed to be law, since I was so moved by the movie The trial of the Chicago 7, but now that I'm in, I hope that I'm also accepted in medicine... I just realized that if I keep going through this path I'm only gonna be unhappy, I'll always be compared to my mother, and people will expect me to be the best, and that'll only lead to more anxiety and more over-stressing and also to more self-pressure and hate towards myself.

Gosh, what have I done?? I'm pretty much fucked, deep down I knew that none of this careers really fitted with what I wanted for myself in the future. I always imagined that I'd be a writer, and had a best-selling book living happy and careless in New York or in Paris working also as this intellectual literature professor at a remarkable University, being a polyglot and living by my own.

But now, I'll have to stick to what I decided based on the opinions of others, I really feel so stupid and you have no idea of how much I hate myself for letting this happen, this is what I get for being a fucking insecure bitch, and thanks to that, I have this feeling that nothing is gonna make me happy anymore, nothing in real life is appealing, nothing is exciting... I'll just live through daydreaming and imagining fake scenarios in my head, at least that's what's been keeping me with hope all this years.

Truth is I am not even happy with these accomplishments, nor with myself, nor with my life, and that makes me feel so broken because I really have tried hard to change my perception, but it is just oblivious to me the fact that I just won't change ever, not even with the help from others, I feel so alone, is this how a Virgo is supposed to feel? I hate it, I really do...

The worst part of this is when you forget to pretend that everything is alright, and you just realize how miserable you truly are.

#sad thoughts #notice me #sorry for being depressing #depressing shit #virgo life #i'm sad #seriously though #spread this #i have a problem #send help

2 notes · View notes

meichenxi · 3 years

Note

For langblr asks: 7, 10, 11, 18, and 49

Thanks!! This may get long, so I apologise in advance! I’m learning German and Esperanto alongside Chinese, but since my German is fairly advanced and I don’t really learn actively any more (I just read, listen to talks etc - mainly because I have no reason to actively speak German sadly) and my Esperanto is basic I’ll just talk about Chinese.

7 - What are some things that you learned about language learning that really improved your studying?

- Hands down learning about the role of attention in language learning. In an ideal situation, you are exposed to the target feature, then have your attention drawn to it/figure it out yourself, and are then exposed to it in natural language again. I think we all know the wild experience when you learn a word and then magically the universe provides it - and suddenly you know that word forever. I now like to think of word ‘learning’ as incremental rather than binary: recognising a word in a familiar context, an unfamiliar context, and then finally using the word are all different levels of ‘knowing’ that word. What this means in practice is that I worry less about not being able to use all the vocabulary actively that I recognise passively, because I know once I do use it actively that item will be easier to access. So there are two things here: first of all, that I don’t worry if I’m watching or reading something and don’t actively extract vocab from it, because I know that hearing it will make it easier to remember later on; and secondly, that if I ‘pay attention’ to a word but don’t ‘learn’ it because I haven’t seen it in context, that state of not knowing is temporary. The moment I see it in context - sometimes months later, when I had completely ‘forgotten’ that word - I know what it is. So I don’t stress as much about not being able to remember words from flashcards or whatever, because I know that seeing/hearing them in context is what cements that word, not just repetition.

10 - What are some thing that you love about the language you’re learning?

Oh my goodness. So many things. I love characters; they used to absolutely drive me crazy, but the ability to read after so long being unable to read now just feels wonderfully exciting every single time. I love learning about different components and how they combine together. I love too that the idea of ‘the word’ is tied so intimately to characters: there are psycholinguistic experiments showing that Chinese native speakers learning English show interference effects when two words are presented in English that have the same component (not even whole character!) and it slows down decision making. I love the way that tone and intonation interact and I love seeing how far I’ve come from not understanding how I could express emotion at all. I love what Chinese shows about the power of the second language learner: it’s incredibly homophonous because of limited syllables even with tones, and it’s radical pro-drop, the more formal you are the shorter/more concise sentences tend to be, and when you’re in a different dialect/Chinese language even those useful initials or finals can change and still you know what is being said. It’s incredible. I love the sound of <q> and <j> and <x> and especially the final <ing>.

The thing I love most about Chinese is its conciseness and elegance. I love learning about different systems of politeness and register and Literary Chinese is just so incredibly concise: if learning modern standard Mandarin is interesting, Literary Chinese is just...it blows my mind. It’s very unique: and I don’t mean this in the sense of ‘oh look how Exotic and Different’, I mean this typologically: it’s arguably the most analytical language in the world and is regularly used in linguistics papers to exemplify phenomena found in such highly analytical languages. I also think the encoding of order-based pragmatics into actual linguistic implicature is absolutely so cool.

I love the difference registers it has, and I love that it feels such a good language to moan about the bus being late in and also, you know, that kind of poetry which just takes your breath away. I love how the same sentence can be expressed in different registers and how grammar patterns from literary Chinese can be used in modern Chinese. I love how compounding and derivational morphology work in Chinese (it’s absolutely nuts?? and so versatile??) and I love how names carry so much meaning. I love it for its ambiguity and conciseness and completely *shrug* lack of need to express tense or person because you know, if you know you know.

And from a synesthete’s point of view, Chinese is beautiful too: it’s a crisp clear dawn-like language, cool and misty.

Finally, I love it for what it has taught me. It’s the first tonal language I’ve ever learnt, and the learning curve has been huge. Parts of it have been massively frustrating (we’ll get to that). I remember the week before I went to China for the first time hurriedly trying to learn some phrases, and I just couldn’t get them to stick in my head. I think I practiced ‘good morning’ about 10,000 times and I still couldn't say it right, or remember it. Languages were sort of my thing - I had taken my German GCSE early, done French and Spanish 0-GCSE in one year each, done three language A-levels (Spanish in five months because I dropped out of another A-level, self-taught German) as well as an extracurricular Latin GCSE. I was cocky!! And so not being able to do it was crushing at first and also just, what?? So learning Chinese has taught me patience, and it’s a useful bench-mark now if I ever feel like I can’t do anything. It’s taught me that you just need patience and determination, and that you'll get there in the end. Genuinely, that’s the most useful lesson I’ve learnt in my short life.

11 - What are some things that you don’t like / find frustrating about the language you’re learning?

Originally, I found both the pronunciation and characters immensely frustrating. I think I’m over those hurdles, and now what annoys me most is the grammar - and if anyone says there is no grammar in Chinese I may just murder you. Chinese grammar is hard because, as I’ve talked about before, a lot of rests on sentence patterns and a lot of it seems to shift in ways that, say, Spanish grammar doesn’t, depending on context, formality and so on. But the reason Chinese grammar is difficult is again because the categories it manipulates are ones that don’t map perfectly onto what we think is being manipulated. So we build representations in our mind and try to learn structures without realising that a lot of it is patterns, not something set in stone. This includes phenomena like topic-marking, fronting, emphasis and so on. The most ‘grammar’-like of Chinese grammar actually is based in large parts in implicatures and the pragmatic-semantic interface, which is very hard to teach. This is why I think that input is especially crucial in Chinese.

Also, embedded wh-questions are hard.

As I’m learning more, though, this is all gradually becoming less frustrating. I don’t want to jinx anything and I still have a lot to learn, but I’m feeling cautiously optimistic that the worst is behind me. Things are making a lot more sense now anyway!!!

18 - Have you had any conversations with natives of your target language/s? How did that go?

Haha, of course. I lived in China for six months and then visited again for two months. I also work as an English teacher online and have a lot of Chinese students. I also sometimes chat with other Chinese students in the German classes I was taking. I’m really excited though to go back to China though now that I’m a little bit better and see how I can improve from there!!! I feel like last time I wasn’t really at a good enough level to improve quickly; I think this time would be really hard, but I can communicate well enough that I hope people wouldn’t switch back to English.

One of the problems I have always had though has been that my pronunciation sounded better than my knowledge of the language - because of immersion. So people always assumed I understood way more than I actually did which was always terrible because I never knew wtf was going on.

One really really nice conversation I had recently: in my English class, a young girl’s mother asked if I could explain the present simple vs present continuous to her daughter...in Chinese. And regardless of what nonsense I said, the little girl understood! Ahhhh that warm glowy feeling of human connection and accomplishment.

49 - What are your language goals for 2021?

Since I’m learning quite intensively at the moment, these goals will be appropriately intense. Gulp.

1) Pass HSK5 (March). This is my biggest goal, and the first time I’ve ever worked towards a language exam so I’m a little nervous. I think it’s do-able (especially with the help of the course that I’m taking, HSK Online), but still large enough to be scary.

2) Be able to write all words up to HSK5 by hand (July). I have a little more time for this one - normally I don’t think handwriting is particularly important, but since I’m going to be studying in a Chinese university next year with the dreaded 听写 I need to be able to do it. They sort you into groups depending on your exam results, and if I can’t handwrite more than 我 then I’m not going to get very far. How do I plan on achieving this? I’m planning maybe on buying a subscription to Skritter again and working through (I really like them), but most importantly, just handwriting freely in a notebook and building up the habit.

3) Be able to read at the same speed as the subtitles. I know, I know, most people can. But I can’t lmao so let me practice.

4) Be in a good place to take HSK6 in early 2022. I don’t actually know if I’m going to take the HSK6 exam: maybe not. HSK5 is only important for me because I need it for a scholarship. But as random as some of the words are, it’s a very good benchmark and a useful list. Considering I’ll have from March until the end of the year, and from the end of June onwards I’ll be in a Mandarin-speaking environment (and be in a Chinese university from August/September) I think it’ll set me up well. It’s way too much to do by the end of the year though, so this goal is just to do as much as I can before 2022.

5) Read the first Harry Potter in Chinese. Guys, I’m not looking to understand the descriptions of the moat or Hagrid’s beard. But I want to be able to read the dialogue with ease, and be able to dip in and out of the book with ease.

6) Complete my literary Chinese textbook (mid-year).

7) Be able to watch shows like Streetdance of China without subs. I can watch some shows already without subs, but I often feel that’s more to do with galaxy-brain thinking, ‘reading the room’ and being lazy than actually understanding all the words. Despite shows like the Untamed having more ‘difficult’ vocab, I find them a lot easier to understand than variety shows etc because the audio is extremely clear and not too fast. Watching Nirvana in Fire without subs will have to be a goal for 2022 lmao; no way will that happen by this time next year.

8) Learn the top 1000 traditional characters and practice reading traditional more. This is not as hard as it sounds: past about the top 500, many of them differ in very predictable ways.

And here are three long-term goals I have no time limits on:

1) Read MDZS and TGCF in Chinese. Ahhh. The dream.

2) Read lots of wuxia!!!!!!! All the wuxia!!!!!!!! Be able to read actual books, imagine.

3) Use Chinese for academic research on Chinese dialects and Tibetan languages. This is kind of...my career path...so!

Thanks for the ask!!

11 notes · View notes