#to the most fucked up extent literally possible. but to still have that strength? after that?

[mummer]

thinking about. after sally beats that guy to death and shes like I did this. and barry’s like, You didnt do this i did this. I did this. say it, say You did this. but shes still like I did this, I did this. and theyre both right. feeling sick that this is literally the first time barry is actually truthful to her, ever, the first time he’s holding himself accountable for the violence of his presence in her life. the first time. he DID do this. he wants to take all the blame from her, the agency from her. but the contrast is stunning because for sally that truth isnt her last resort, it’s the very first thing she says, she doesnt dodge the blame or lie like barry has done for YEARS, she DID do this, she has to own that, when he never could. honestly, sally feels much worse than she SHOULD about killing a guy in self defense who was only there because of barry’s malignance. like how was any of that her fault. she was being fucking choked on the ground and was going to die otherwise. but no! she refuses! no more lying to herself, no more rewriting her own story, no more!!!!! i did this!!!!!!

#barry #barry hbo #SHES SO IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT #the way the scripts are so pared down now but they say so so much more than they ever did. insanity #like she says both. barry did this. i did this. when the. when the #is she going to be okay? absolutely not. #but it is so different in circumstance and in reaction than anything barry’s ever done #killing a man who is actively choking you to death is not the same as war criming an innocent in ‘revenge’. AT ALL. #like right its not empowering its not get a blowout and girlboss kill ur abuser in heels. its. horrific #to the most fucked up extent literally possible. but to still have that strength? after that? #to have the strength to leave? not a perfect solution of course not but such a human one #like it’s fucked up that that seems so hopeful.

[cinnamonest]

Rewriting my Diluc housewife thoughts but I saved it in my notes this time, but I made it infinitely more sexist than it already was before bc 1) I was in the kink mood and 2) the spirits of writing gods possessed my body and told me that is the way all Diluc content should be, so, this is major 1950s-ish housewifey horrendously misogynistic shit, you've been warned. Like, even *I* looked back over this and was like "wow this is vile" which is kinda saying something for me so, putting the nastier parts under cut for the sake of my followers' eyes ----------- I was thinking about the post a while back about Diluc reforming a criminal darling - a thief around Mondstadt that's been on a crime spree and of course he catches wind of that and goes to defeat the perpetrator (surprisingly very easy? How is a thief this weak?) and haul the bastard off to jail except... What's this? Said criminal is actually just some girl and not a gross ugly bastard?? This changes things. Clearly, this was not an intentional act of malice or greed, but rather, he, master of criminal psychology™, rationalizes that the world is far too cruel for unwifed girls that have no one to depend on, a cold terrible place, so you must have been driven to these actions out of desperation. You had no provider, no caretaker, which are needs. How could you possibly be expected to provide a means of living for yourself?? This is just the consequences of the unfairness of the world. However, things all work out in the end. You need to be taken care of and restrained from these self-destructive choices by force (since you cannot recognize how bad it is, not that you're expected to, it's natural that you have poor perception, that's why you need a man to make choices for you), and he needs a wife. This solution benefits all parties.

He is, however, a rather dense man, and doesn't really think to like, tell you that. Or tell you anything. He's too lost in thought in his planning -- gonna get you new clothes to replace your ragged ones, gonna have to rearrange the guard schedule so they can watch the house better, all that -- and just kinda slings you up and over his shoulder without a word. Ignores you kicking and hitting because it doesn't really hurt or anything, you're too weak for that. Just says he’ll explain in detail later, but don’t worry, you’re not going to jail. He’s just taking you home. This is better, he says. Stop struggling so much, what, you want to go to jail? No? Then be still. And you don't recognize that it's good for you yet, but again, that's expected. In a better time or society, you would have been married off sooner, and prevented from ever falling victim to your own decision making to begin with, but the world isn't perfect and you can be forgiven for it. You're not responsible for your own actions since you can't comprehend them. It's frustrating and he sighs a bit over it, but that's just the way things are. You'll be happy in the long run, even if it takes a while, you're naturally programmed for a better lifestyle he has in mind. And, really, he's glad you weren't married off, because if you were then he never would have had you, so even though it was technically unideal, the stars align and the universe works out things perfectly. It's all the more of a sign that this was fate and you were made for him. The issue is that a hardened criminal darling is... Not the ideal candidate for a housewife. To some extent, he's right that the criminal underworld hardens a person, you can't survive in that realm if you're submissive or weak willed. And criminal darling certainly is not. Loud mouthed, opinionated, argumentative, bad attitude, defiant and aggressive and very much unafraid. A complete loose cannon. All very unfavorable traits. Worst of all, very much unaccepting of and ungrateful for the privilege of a second chance and being graciously granted the opportunity for a better life. Lots of bad behaviors.

The cursing is a problem. It's not very... Wife-like. Gives off a bad image, you know. Especially since said cursing is usually directed at him at a very loud volume with a snarl and getting all up in his face to tell him he's fucking insane and a bastard. To be honest, the worst part isn't the words themselves, it's the fact that you are so unafraid to be defiant and so fiery that is the primary issue. You disobey very deliberately. Little acts of pettiness. Being mean to the maids who are so graciously trying to teach you how to cook (at his direction), since you had no idea how to (and nearly burned his house down as a result). The first time you were mean and bitter and that's how you learned they report back to him about how you behaved. It did not go over well.  

Intentionally burning food. Once you somehow found a bottle in a cabinet somewhere in the mansion and put rat poison in his food, made him sick. Muttering a sarcastic whoops and shoving a vase off to crash and shatter on the floor. Early on you refused to wear all the nice dresses you were generously given and even tried to go through his clothes to find something to wear, which was kinda cute since it was way too big, but still. You mutter and grumble under your breath every time you're given a command. The most important thing is sex, though. You know, your job. One of your only real responsibilities. He has a very stressful job. It's only reasonable that he can expect to come home to his sweet, loving little wife with open arms and equally open legs. You've probably fucked around a bit right? For money, for favors, for intel, you get the idea, lots of ties to criminal gangs to earn their trust. So, if you do it for something so insignificant, how much more does he deserve it for taking care of you fully? You should -- and you will, with time -- drop to your knees the second he walks through the door. But instead, sigh, you fight and whimper and cover your face in shame after you spasm and cum, and worst of all, you actively try not to cum. You shouldn't feel ashamed of that, it's good, he says. Sure, you may not be officially married (since the laws of Mondstadt unfortunately require that whole "consent" thing for both parties, ugh), but, he's basically your husband right? So, it's perfectly normal, you're supposed to cum for him. Maybe once you're all knocked up you'll be even hornier, and less shameful. He actually wasn't expecting you to be this bad. Incredibly stubborn and prideful. Literally the exact opposite traits of a good wife, you know, submissive and humble and obedient. He kinda thought that it was like... automatic. That once he just kinda shoved you in the right environment, it would be like flipping a switch right? Apparently not. But no matter. It can be changed, with effort and time. You're worth it. See, you're not supposed to backtalk him, you're supposed to smile and do what you're told without question. You're supposed to submit and obey, and instead you seem hellbent on pissing him off out of spite - and frankly, you're doing a good job of achieving that. Every time you defy him it sparks an irritation he can't describe, worse than he'd normally get from just being snarled at by anyone - no, something about being disrespected by someone he feels is beneath him makes him much, much angrier than it would be if it were, say, one of the business partners who get snappy and argumentative very frequently. He could break you and it would be easy, don't you know that? You stomp and you hit him and you yell, but clearly you process that you have to look up to look him in the eye, you have to realize how much smaller you are. You hit him even though you have to know by now he'll just grab your wrists, and like always you'll be unable to even hope of pulling out of his grip, the strength difference between you two is so great. There's no way you don't realize all that, yet you continue to behave the way you do. The inferiority is so blatantly obvious, but you act as if it's not. He spends a lot of time contemplating the source of this, the cause of your behavior, it occupies his thoughts. It's like... You resent him for something. Could it possibly be kidnapping you and keeping you as a glorified sex slave? No, no, that's not it. It's something else, yes. Are you just bitter about being inferior in, you know, every conceivable way? Is that it? The criminality for you was compensation to make you feel powerful, perhaps. You have a complex. You resent him not for anything he's done, but because you know he's stronger and smarter and generally superior to you. You don't want to accept it. You're prideful when you shouldn't be. You're supposed to be humble and content with your inferiority. Yeah, that's it. You just have a negative perception of the lifestyle you're supposed to have. Maybe some event in your life or someone else warped your view of things. You don't realize how happy you'd be if you just accepted it. Yes, if you submitted to it, if you swallowed your pride and actually accepted your place, you'd find you would be very happy, you just don't know that. Or maybe, your brain can't grasp something like that. After all, that's the reason you're supposed to be the submissive party of the two of you, you're not as bright or perceptive (says the densest man alive). You have to be... Led. Guided. So he says it. He is, again, a dense man. He does not really think about the fact that perhaps blatantly confronting you with the epiphany he thinks he's had and specifically using the words inferior and weak and small is probably not going to make you very happy. You get bitchy and bratty and try to hit him and he sighs because, see, this is exactly what he's talking about. You reacting the way you did only confirms you do have a complex, he says. So, how could he go about... reconditioning? He is not the most creative man, but thankfully it's a rather easy problem to solve. If you're reminded of a reality often enough, you have to accept it. For starters, using physical strength against you. Maybe that will metaphorically open your eyes. Holds you down in place when you're hitting him like you do, firmly bending you over a counter or whatever and just holding you in place. Come on, try to get up, try to push him off. You snarl and claw at the marble and push will all your strength, but he doesn't budge, not until you politely apologize and ask him to let you up. If you're being difficult and not going where he tells you to, well, he can just sling you up over his shoulder and carry you. If you're fighting being fucked he can just flip you over and press your face into the mattress and hold you still, and you can't help but take the brutal reality that you're basically a ragdoll to him, that is, physically overpowering you doesn't even require trying. It helps to knock you down a peg, remind you of your place and maybe get you to swallow that pride a bit. The orgasms and fucking have a similar effect -- every time you can't help but feel like he has a power over you. And really, he kinda does. Every time you lay there still panting and shivering in aftershock, the shame comes swarming in, all the obscene noises you made and the way you came undone under the person that treats you like property. Even if the rational part of you knows better, you can't help but feel like in a way it's like you let him win, allowed yourself to more or less prove him right. Maybe you'll learn better if you're in more humiliating positions. Stuck getting rammed from behind, hand forcing your face down and ass up. Actually correcting bad behaviors requires more direct approaches, so he takes the... Old fashioned route. After all, it's pretty much guaranteed to work. You don't listen to words, you don't listen to reason, but you'll certainly listen to handprints and belt welts on your ass. It's the first time you really, truly break, and that brings him a lot of satisfaction. The first time you really cry and whimper and beg and apologize so profusely it feels like you mean it for once. Granted, for a while you just persist in your bad behaviors and even try to run when you see him sigh and take the belt off, but you never get far. And, most notably, you actually fix your behaviors, with enough reminders. At one point, the next time you start being bad and get to bitching and snarling and putting up a fight, you catch the look on his face and, for once, you shut your mouth and look down and mumble an apology by default. See, you're learning. Speaking of, you still have that major issue with backtalking him. You're supposed to submit to him and acknowledge his authority over you. So he gets firm. Grabs you by the jaw and forces you to look him in the eye and reminds you that you will *not* get an attitude with him. You *will* show some respect. You say yes sir and no sir and do what you're told. And if you forget, he can give you a reminder, if you want that. But you shake your head with fear in your eyes, say you don't want that. It makes you mad. You want to lash back, but you swallow your pride and mutter a fine - before realizing the mistake, violating the rule you were just reminded of. You stammer out a yes sir but it's already too late. He has to control himself too, not let his anger get the better of him. He speaks in a way that isn't snarling and mean, but rather firm, cold, a flat tone that asserts dominance and demands respect. But... still wants you to like him. So he has to be nice, too. After all, you'll learn better if you're rewarded for being good, right? So you can get little rewards. Words of affirmation. A pat to the head. He'll buy you something you want, let you drink a bit (since, as a thief, of course, you had a problem with that before you came home, but that had to be corrected too, since drunkenness isn't very befitting). And sooner or later he does have a really good little wife. He's proud of you. You smile and obey commands without complaining. He can come home every day, and rather than hearing a long report from the staff about how much trouble you caused that day, instead you have food and smiles and sweet affection waiting on him, you hug him when he walks through the door. You're polite and sweet to the various business partners and guests that come through -- you don't speak to them without permission though, of course, and you look down at the ground so you don't make eye contact with another man. People say he's lucky and how they wish they had a wife that was so outwardly affectionate to them as you are to him, always clinging to him physically. And you don't complain or every object to anything, you just smile and say yes and do it. It makes him happy in a weird way he can't quite articulate. A warm swell of pride, a feeling of success. You have vague memories of a time when you were breaking into houses just to scrape by, not knowing when you'd eat next, not knowing where you'd sleep. It's kind of a fuzzy memory now. You don't have to worry about those things anymore, and you're a lot happier this way.

#this is vile im sorry #tw: ff #tw: misogyny #.dl #yan.txt #q

[autisticandroids]

yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao

okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.

however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.

anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.

i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).

so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.

- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.

- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.

- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.

- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.

- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.

- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.

- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.

- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.

anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.

purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.

human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.

everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.

they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.

also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.

#spn #asks #anonymous

[arteacactus]

Can we get a sick fic Janus hiding in his room until someone else breaks down the door? Cause he thought no one would care

this is so out of nowhere bc i like never get fic requests here anymore it’s like always on my sideblog hissceit ,, but it’s 10000% welcome and appreciated JDFJFD thank u .. also i apologize for how needlessly wordy this is HAHA i strayed from the prompt like .. a lot

warnings for sickness , the coughs , vomiting, sore throat , etc , the whole shebang-- and some cursing 

-----

It’s not that Janus had never been sick before, it’s just that...

Well, he’d never been sick before.

He wasn’t positive why (which irked him; he hated being in the dark about things, especially things concerning himself), but he had some theories- the most plausible one thus far simply being that while Thomas had always viewed the Light Sides as human, to some extent, he saw Janus as a two-faced snake; a monster kept hidden away in the shadows under his bed. And monsters didn’t get touched by things like disease. So while the others got touched with sickness occasionally, Janus never did.

But if Janus was getting sick now..

That implied that after he told them his name, Thomas started seeing him as somewhat human, too, with vulnerabilities like the rest.

He wasn’t sure just how he felt about that, but he didn’t love it (he liked being untouchable, okay?).

Ah, well, Janus supposed the why didn’t matter much at the moment. He could ponder that after the fact.

Right now was the time to think about how to end it, because it was pure torture.

He was too hot and too cold all at once, his head throbbed and his body ached in places he never knew could ache, his eyes were sore and oozing and his nose wasn’t faring much better. His throat was raw as if he’d spent hours and hours screaming at nothing, and even after trudging his way into the Dark Side’s kitchen for a cup of tea (though it was more like a cup of honey and lemon with a hint of green tea), it felt absolutely no better; in fact, he just felt worse, because he had to leave bed, go downstairs, spend twenty minutes standing around to make the tea, and then go back up the stairs to his room again.

He’d been fidgeting with his blankets for the past three hours; having them on made him too hot, having them off made him too cold, and so he settled for having one leg covered and nothing else (oddly enough, this was actually a good compromise). The air in his room was hot and stuffy which certainly didn’t help- nor did it help his sinuses any, as it made his headache pound worse and his airways were thoroughly blocked off. He dreaded drinking or swallowing anything as it sent the most uncomfortably painful sensation down his throat and rendered him to a groaning, pained mess.

He clutched his pillow weakly, pressing his head into the hot surface. He hated this. Usually, he thrived in the heat, as his room was typically colder than a jail cell, but this time he wanted it gone. He wished it was winter, just so he could full-body launch himself into a mound of snow and sleep for eternity. 

He felt a slight tug, the distinct feeling of someone requesting his presence, and promptly shooed it away. Not only was he just wearing pants, but he was sick, and he’d rather die than show that level of weakness to anybody.

Three days before, when he’d first felt his symptoms come on, he’d briefly considered going to someone for help; perhaps Remus, because he was his best friend, or Logan, because surely he’d know how to handle diseases and how to cure them, or maybe even Patton, because he was a father figure and might have even made him soup- but he had quickly banished the thought. Sure, maybe they knew his name now, but they still really didn’t like him and had absolutely no reason to help him and not laugh at his predicament.

Well. Remus liked him well enough, but he would have just taken his morning star and bashed Janus across the head with it and called it good, so Janus had to pass on that.

Another tug came, a little more forcefully this time, and Janus dismissed it, just as forcefully. For a little precaution, he took a deep breath and waved his hand, locking up his room so no one could rise up/appear in it, nor could they come through his door. The strain it put on him to maintain that lock was almost enough to make him pass out, but he didn’t dare remove it; he couldn’t risk anybody seeing him in this state. 

He forced his body to roll over to the side, pressing his face into his pillow and sighing in relief as his nose unplugged just enough to take a deep breath in. He found himself actually wishing he’d sneeze, just for the temporary relief it brought. 

He pointedly ignored the next few tugs that hit him, though they weren’t as forceful and harsh as the past couple were. He could only assume the only reason they actually wanted him up there was to lecture him, because him being incapacitated like this surely was affecting Thomas in some way that they didn’t like.

Well, sucks to be them, Janus thought in mild frustration, I’m staying right here until this all goes away and I don’t want to die anymore.

Eventually, the incessant tugging slowed to a stop, and then they finally left him alone.

Letting out a relieved sigh, Janus curled his body into a tight ball, cringing at the sticky feeling of his sweaty skin against his silk sheets, and tried to fall asleep.

Thankfully, sleep claimed him easily, and he drifted off.

However easily it came, though, it certainly wasn’t very forgiving. 

He didn't wake up randomly, but he kept getting thrown so many vivid nightmares and odd, fever-induced dreams that he almost wished he was waking up every few minutes, if only to get away from whatever things his mind kept throwing at him.

He wasn’t awake, but he was aware of his own constant tossing and turning, his bed creaking in protest every time he thrashed and threw his body around the mattress, and when he finally did open his eyes (his throbbing head wasn’t very appreciative of it), he realized he’d somehow twisted himself so his head was at the foot of his bead and his blankets had been fully tossed onto the floor. His pillows weren’t faring much better; only two of his usual six remained in place, and they were mangled to death, the rest on the floor with his blankets.

Janus truly couldn’t bring himself to give a damn- instead, he weakly pushed his body upright, trying not to topple over as his head swam, and fell right back down in the proper position. Thankfully, though, his head not touching the pillows in a while meant they were delightfully chilled, and he moaned aloud at the lovely sensation it brought him. Absently he wondered if he should gather the strength to get himself an ice pack or run an ice bath, but thought better of it. After all, he was still part snake; he’d rather not throw himself into a self-induced comatose state from the cold. 

He blindly reached out and grabbed ahold of his bedside clock, a little antique thing he designed himself to fit his aesthetic despite being very poor at reading Roman numerals, and squinted as he tried to decipher how long he’d been asleep for.

He nearly dropped the thing upon realizing he’d slept for eleven straight hours.

He slid it back onto his nightstand and groaned loudly, though it quickly turned into a pained, chest-wracking cough. He couldn’t avoid it; he had to get up and eat something, or drink something, or get literally anything in his body, because whether he liked it or not, that was the only way he was going to get over this thing quicker. 

He managed to move just enough to get up and off the bed (nevermind the fact he nearly fell straight on the floor the second he stood), and took a couple shaky steps towards the door. The moment he reached out to turn the knob, though, the knocking started.

He froze, looking like a deer caught in headlights as he stared wide-eyed at the piece of wood in front of him, the only thing separating him from them.

There was a call of ‘Janus?’ that was so soft, Janus didn’t actually know who it came from; but that didn’t matter now, because the doorknob was turning and fuck, when did he let go of his lock?

Janus snapped his fingers, and managed to summon all but his hat when the door opened and revealed- much to his surprise- Virgil.

Janus and Virgil blinked at each other for a moment, dumbfounded, but thankfully, Virgil didn’t seem to see anything off about him, and just lowered his gaze and shrunk into his hoodie, refusing to meet Janus’ eyes.

“We- uh, they were trying to call you earlier today, you know.” Virgil’s voice was low and gruff, and Janus could honestly say this was the best possible Side to come see him. Remus was loud and shrill, Patton was too cheery and Roman was boisterous- Logan probably wouldn’t have been awful, but with his insistence to look everyone in the eye as he spoke to them, Janus was sure he’d have deciphered what was going on in a second.

“I’m aware,” Janus replied, internally cringing at his rough tone. He cleared his throat, which was screaming in protest at speaking. 

Virgil didn't seem to notice- or if he did, he didn’t care. “Well. You made them worry, and they sent me to come collect you.”

“Worr- Collect?” Janus echoed in confusion, taken off guard by everything Virgil said.

“Yeah, uh, you worried them so now they won’t take no for an answer. You’re gonna have to come with me.” Virgil, at least, seemed a little sheepish saying this, but he also has a particularly determined and frustrated look to him. Clearly, he wasn’t happy being the one picked to come ‘collect’ Janus, and he wasn’t going to take no from him as an answer, either.

“Wh-” Janus was cut off as Virgil gripped his arm, and any protests he could have made died on his tongue as they started moving. Dizziness attacked him with such ferocity that he was honestly astounded that he hadn’t immediately fallen over, and his stomach lurched at the speed they were moving. Of course, he didn’t bring this up, just took a deep breath and pushed through. After all, Virgil was the last person he wanted to know about his current state.

Once Virgil brought them across the line that separated the Dark Sides from the Light Sides, the immediate bright artificial light from the lamps and ceiling lights making his head pound in a way that was even worse than what the red light of the heat lamps in the snake terrariums in his room caused. 

The air here, though, was clear and fresh, and he basked in the coolness of it as it surrounded him. If it wasn’t for the lights, he’d almost be tempted ask to stay for a while.

Once they made it to the living room, Virgil released him from his grasp, and slunk over into his own corner in the stairwell- and Janus found himself standing right next to Logan.

Unfortunately, they were all staring at him.

Time to put your acting skills to work, Janus, he thought to himself as he heaved an internal sigh, and plastered a toothy grin on his face that bared his sharp canines just enough to make them flinch away.

“So. I was summoned?” His throat protested speech, but thankfully his voice came out smooth and silky, not one bit of it hinting towards his predicament.

“Yeah, and you never answered..?” Thomas seemed more concerned than anything, but Janus definitely saw some suspicion on Roman’s expression (he couldn’t blame him, after how his name reveal went), and Patton was more fidgety than usual. Logan, bless him, didn’t seem to be acting any different, and Virgil looked just as bored as he usually was.

Remus, however...

Well, Remus was looking at Janus with a suspicious gaze similar to Roman’s but far more scrutinizing. Janus briefly felt a flare of panic. If there was anyone here to notice he was off, it would be his best friend, who he lived with and saw every day.

“I was resting, Thomas, would you blame your personification of self-preservation for taking a day off for self-care?” Janus’ tone was exasperated. He wasn’t lying, not really; he was resting, and he was taking a day off for self-care.

Just.. more than one day.

“Respectfully, I have to.. what is the term, ‘call bullshit’?” Came Logan’s voice next to him, and he hoped to God that Logan didn’t notice Janus’ feverish tremors. “You’ve been MIA for the past few days, and it’s escalated to the point where Thomas is beginning to react to it. There is something else going on, and we’d like to know what’s going on.”

Ah, yes, for the good of Thomas, Janus couldn’t help but think a little bitterly, Really, I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s not like they’d worry about my wellbeing. “I’m afraid I wasn’t bullshitting you, Logan,” Janus replied coolly, “It was the truth.”

“Then how come your room looked trashier than Remus’?” Virgil’s voice, where earlier it was comfortingly gruff, was now an offputting growl. Despite his words, though, Janus could tell he was trying to act like he didn’t actually care. He took note of that, because Virgil caring about him was odd.

“Rearranging,” Janus replied simply, and hoped they took that alone as an acceptable answer.

Of course, they didn’t.

“You never rearrange,” Virgil’s tone turned accusatory, and then Patton cut in. 

“Well, maybe then that’s why he’s doing it now? For something fresh?” He sounded hopeful, as if he couldn’t wait for this entire conversation to be over. Janus felt similarly.

“I’ve lived with him, Patton, I know him, and it’s not something that happens.” Virgil argued, but this seemed to set off Remus as he cut in with, “And you left, so who are you to claim you ‘know him’?”

This sparked an argument amongst themselves, as they fought over the sudden new topic that thankfully centered around Virgil more than anything, and with Logan, Roman, and Thomas trying to mediate, there was no attention put on him anymore.

Janus took this momentary distraction to let out a sigh of relief, the mix of loud voices and trying to act like nothing was up was doing absolutely no good for his headache and exhaustion. He mourned the loss of his hat, because he could have used that to hide his face away from the lights that were bearing down on him and making his skin feel uncomfortably hot.

Though perhaps that was from all the layers of his outfit.

Unfortunately, though, as the seconds passed, the voices seemed to get louder, the lights got brighter, the clothes got hotter and his stomach was churning, his hands were sweating, his head was pounding his legs were getting shaky oh god his ears were ringing oh fuck fuck stop the noise please turn off the lights please stop please stop-

Distantly, he felt his throat start hurting intensely and he realized he was speaking out loud, stammering out pleads that were growing muffled as everything swamped him. His hands raised to cover his ears, trying to drown out the noise around him, and his legs gave out beneath him. He collapsed, feeling something warm and wet trickle down his face- tears? Was he crying? No, surely he was just imagining the feeling- but before he hit the hard floor, he felt something grab a hold of him, long, spider-like fingers gripping the undersides of his arms like a lifeline. He felt sharp nails and soft ruffles and realized Remus had caught him, he must have run from his spot to catch him before he fell, and Janus felt the stinging gaze of everybody on him. He felt like a mouse that was dropped into a snake’s cage for feeding, cowering beneath the penetrating gaze of the predator before him. The roles were reversed, and he hated it.

He managed to pry open his own eyes- when had he shut them?- and the moment he saw the horrified gazes trained on him, he fled.

He forced himself from Remus’ arms and he vanished, retreating back to his room, where the lights were off and the curtains were shut and the only thing he had to deal with was the light of his snakes’ heat lamps.

The hot, stuffy air attacked him with a vengeance, though, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. He stripped himself of his clothes again, his skin glistening, heat radiating off of his person. 

He hurriedly locked up his room again, and fell to his knees beside his bed, and retched.

Thankfully, he’d managed to grab his trashcan, but it didn’t make him feel any less humiliated.

He thought he was doing himself a favor, hiding his state from all of them, but from not going to just one of them when he could, he had ended up breaking down in front of all of them. 

Body trembling and chest heaving, Janus collapsed onto the hard floor beneath him, unable to pull himself onto his bed, and curled up into a tight ball.

He wanted this to end.

Janus was so caught up in his misery that he didn’t even notice pounding on his door, all of his senses wrapped up in himself, in his throbbing head and hot skin and burning throat and sore stomach and the sound of his blood pumping in his ears, until there was a deafening ‘crash’ and splinters of wood came flying into his room.

He flinched at the noise and forced himself to sit up, but the sudden movement made him gag, and he found himself panting like a dog trying to cool himself off and calm down his raging nausea. 

There was a barrage of voices at first, but they were quickly hushed- from what, he didn’t know- and then a delightfully cold hand clutched his bicep, and he couldn’t hold back the relieved moan he let out in response.

“I’m gonna put you in bed, okay, Janus?” Came a soft voice- Remus- and Janus didn’t protest as he was gently lifted up by the Creative twin. Admittedly, he didn’t even know Remus could be that gentle, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

There was some quiet shuffling and the sound of a dull ‘smack’ and then someone cursing softly, but soon enough Janus was set down on a set of smooth cotton sheets, clean and cool, and an absolute blessing.

“Jan-Jan, why didn’t you tell us you were sick?” Remus’ tone was scolding, like a parent to a young child (ironic, considering Janus was the one who raised Remus), and Janus opened his eyes just enough to see Remus’ face swathed in the shadows of his room. 

“Weak,” Janus croaked in reply, his voice wrecked, “Di’n.. wan’ see.”

“Your pride is going to be the death of you,” Remus sighed, and Janus heard some other voices pipe in.

“We would have helped you, Janus,” Thomas sounded sad, almost regretful. For what, Janus would never know.

“Indeed,” Logan’s voice was a comfort, Janus was willing to admit. “In fact, I will begin researching how to best care for this as soon as possible, so you are in utmost comfort while you recover.”

“I’ll make some soup,” Came Patton’s quiet promise, “And water, and tea.”

“I changed your bedsheets,” Roman seemed shy, “If you need me to, I can try and make a set that keeps you cooled down.”

Janus almost moaned aloud at the thought, and Roman must have seen it in his expression because he perked up right away. 

“Sorry for, uh, dragging you away so forcefully,” Virgil muttered, and Janus just managed to flap his hand dismissively. 

“You didn’ know.” He mumbled weakly, and he felt Remus’ cool touch brush away hair that clung to his sweaty forehead. 

“And now we do. So we’re going to take care of you, because we care about you.” He promised in a tone with no room for argument, with the others murmuring in agreement behind him.

And for once, Janus believed him, and let himself be taken care of.

#vanna talks #ask #anonymous #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #sickfic #fic #fanfic #sanders sides #tssides #thomas sanders #fanfiction #platonic dlamptr #with a slight focus on dukeceit i suppose #Anonymous

[hufflautia]

In Sickness and in Health

Requested by @milk-leaves!​  

Warnings: A very brief and non-explicit sexual implication

Summary: Slytherin catches the flu. Luckily, her husband is there to help. However, her stubborn nature and insistent claim that “she can’t be sick because she’s never been sick in her entire life” makes it a little difficult for Hufflepuff to assist her. Marriage isn’t always easy, but with the proper amount of love and patience, everything works out in the end. 

Slytherin grabs the garbage can just in time to vomit into the basket. When she finishes, she wipes her mouth with a grimace and rests her forehead against the bed. 

“Honey?” 

She looks up and sees Hufflepuff standing by the door, his forehead puckered as he takes in her appearance. Her hair unruly, she’s slumped on the floor of their bedroom, looking tired and pale. 

Usually, Slytherin would be happy to see her husband. However, all she feels is irritation in the wake of his presence, and she leans against the side of the mattress once more. 

“What are you doing here,” she croaks, eyeing him as he approaches her and kneels down. “I thought you had to go to the Ministry today.” 

“It was a minor emergency, so I left early.” He regards her carefully. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” 

Hufflepuff frowns. “But you threw up.” 

“Yeah, I’ve been doing that a lot today,” she murmurs weakly. Noticing his eyes widen, she snorts. “I’m not pregnant if that’s what you’re thinking. I got my period today.”  

He gives her a sympathetic look. “I imagine it’s been a very fun day for you.” 

“The best I’ve ever had, actually.” 

Leaning in ever so slightly, that’s when Hufflepuff sees it—the faint flush on her face, the way she folds her arm around herself, the tinge of hoarseness in her voice.  

He reaches out and touches Slytherin’s forehead. Her skin feels hot and cold at the same time. She bats away his hand in annoyance. “What are you doing,” she snaps, scowling at him. Her anger immediately falters when she notices how his eyebrows rise, a look of surprise mixed with hurt spreading onto his face. 

“You have a fever,” he confirms quietly. 

Slytherin resists a frown. “But I never get sick.” 

“Well, it happens to the best of us.” He gets up. “Wait here, I’ll get some medicine.” 

“I don’t need it,” she calls after him but he’s already in the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets. He returns with a bottle and a small cup. Taking a seat before pouring red liquid into the cup, he ignores her when she says his name in a tone of indignation, insisting that she isn’t sick.

Hufflepuff hands it to her. “Drink,” he says firmly. When she juts her chin out and pouts, he lets out an exasperated sigh. “Honey, I know you don’t want to, but it’ll make you feel better.”

She still doesn’t move. This time, he returns her unyielding stare with one of his own. His tone is hard and demanding as he warns, “I’m not gonna repeat myself.” 

Slytherin grudgingly brings the cup to her lips. If she didn't feel like complete shit right now, she would keep pushing his patience for fun. She’d even be a little turned on by his authoritative voice. Probably both. 

She immediately makes a face as the medicine slides down her throat. “This tastes like ass,” she grumbles, pressing the back of her hand against her mouth and setting the cup down. 

He chuckles. “Medicine tends to taste that way.” He stands and offers his hand. “Come. I’m sure a warm shower sounds perfect right now.”  

A faint smile twitches at the corner of her mouth. “How’d you know,” she asks, taking his hand. A wave of nausea sweeps over her when she gets up, and he quickly plants his hands on either side of her. 

“I’m your husband,” he pulls her closer, “I know these things.” 

Slytherin wraps her arms around him. “Will you carry me to the bathroom,” she mumbles into his sweater. 

He presses a kiss to the top of her head before picking her up bridal-style with care. 

“Do you even have to ask?” 

A couple of hours pass. Feeling drowsy from the medicine, Slytherin took a long nap before waking up to the smell of homemade soup. Hufflepuff cooked something for her while she was sleeping. To her dismay, he also gave her another cup of NyQuil, but she drank it without any resistance. Afterwards, her headache subsided and was diminished to a dull pain, which is nothing compared to before. 

Now, she is laying in bed, feeling comfortable and content as she snuggles with her husband while he reads her favorite book out loud. She’ll probably never openly admit it but she loves when they cuddle. Listening to the smooth drawl of his voice, she catches a few words while dozing in and out of sleep. Her lips curve into a smile. He’s getting to her favorite part where he speaks in a ridiculous voice when reading the dialogue of an ancient wizard. 

Hufflepuff had read the book to her before when they were dating. He used the same wise and raspy voice as he uses now. At that moment, as she attempted to hold in her laughter, she knew he was the one. Funnily enough, he ended up proposing to her a month later. 

Feeling the familiar tug in her heart that can only be classified as complete adoration, Slytherin musters enough strength to pull herself out of the cozy arms of sleep. She shifts around so that she can properly see his face and says his name tenderly. 

“What is it,” he asks, putting the book down. “Is your headache still bothering you?” 

“A little, but...I’m sorry for being mean to you before. I was angry at you for no reason, but it might’ve been because of my period, and you already know how bad my PMS gets sometimes, but I still feel terrible about being so rude because you’re so great and sweet and you were only trying to help but I was being so difficult and I think I’m just not really used to people taking care of me, so I was trying to handle this flu on my own but I still shouldn’t have acted that way—and I literally hit your fucking hand and I hate myself for it because you don’t deserve it at all, you deserve so much more than whatever I have to offer...” Words continue to spill from her mouth as she rambles on and on, not bothering to pause for a breath of air. 

Hufflepuff says her name and she finally stops, staring back at him with a contorted expression as if she were trying to back tears. He cups her cheek, to which she leans into his warm touch. “Please don’t worry about that anymore, honey, it’s okay. Honestly. I’ve been with you long enough to know that there’s no one else I would rather be with but you. Even with your stubbornness, I love you all the same. Maybe even a little more.” He gives her a reassuring smile as she looks back at him with watery eyes. “Just focus on resting for now, okay?”

She nods and tries to smile back, getting a little choked up in the process. His words are laced with so much endearment that she realizes just how lucky she is to have someone like him to spend the rest of her life with. She puts her hand over his. 

“Thank you,” she whispers, “for loving me as you do.”  

His gaze is so unimaginably soft that, for a split second, Slytherin wonders how it’s even possible. He leans in, and she happily closes the distance. 

One might think that as time passes for a married couple, the love begins to stale. This is not true in their case, for the flutter in her stomach intensifies as they kiss. She can only focus on how soft he feels against her lips, how he invades all her senses in the best way possible. Her fingers grip the front of his shirt while his hand rests against the curve of her neck when they finally pull apart. Their noses brush against each other as they lock eyes. 

“I love you,” she breathes. 

“I know,” he murmurs. “And I love you.” 

“Good. Because we’re stuck with each other forever.” 

“I’d be sad if we weren’t,” he replies with a grin, retrieving the book. “Shall I continue reading?” 

She beams at him before laying her cheek against his chest. “Yes please.” 

Hufflepuff flips to the page he left off from. While he reads, he traces patterns around her stomach, as if he's painting a beautiful masterpiece over her skin. 

A couple of chapters in, Slytherin momentarily closes her eyes as his melodious voice washes over her. 

The sound of his steady heartbeat lulls her to sleep. 

FIN.

~

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AUTHOR’S NOTE: 

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. It took me a while to come up with an idea for this (also, to the person who requested this, I hope you are satisfied :D). My friend had the idea of “a vacation gone horribly wrong”. It was a fantastic idea - I even made a google doc for it and everything, but I did not write out a sufficient amount of general details for it because nothing solid came to mind. Then, when I was trying to go to sleep, I came up with this idea and I am very happy with how it came out!! 

I modeled Hufflepuff after Steve Rogers to some extent. He has that gentle giant type of vibe. He is kind and loving, but he’ll be stern if he needs to. I have to admit, the thought of making a series about slytherpuff married life has crossed my mind while writing this one-shot. I am still contemplating it. If I do create the series, it won’t be restricted to this couple specifically, but I will consider writing more stories about them because I really do adore their dynamic! Anyways, if I were to write that series, it would be different stories with different couples. It might not even be classified as a series but more as a collection of slytherpuff married life stories. Also, there would probably be at least one nsfw story included in that collection, but I will not be writing any smut until after my birthday, which is in April. *HI THIS IS JESSICA FROM THE NEXT DAY, aka the day that i’m gonna post this and im just going over the fic. while i was sleeping, i just thought of ANOTHER marriage fic so i think im going to make a married life collection of storiessss :D :D :D!!! however, im still wondering about whether i should write it, because the story idea is a little eh. if anyone has any other marriage life ideas, please feel free to let me know! before, i was a little hesitant on making a collection because it was hard for me to think of ideas for this fic when the request came in. hopefully, that will change in the future. also why do i keep coming up with good ideas for stories in my sleep lmao* 

Writing this story was fun. I stayed up until 2 am for four straight days while writing. Lmao how odd is it to see those two sentences right next to each other? In all honestly, I didn’t feel like it was 2 am because I was in the zone. I just kept writing until I told myself to go to bed because the future morning me will regret it--and lemme tell you, she really does. Anyways, I used my own experience with medicine for fevers. I absolutely hate the taste of NyQuil; I remember when my mom would make me drink small cups of it whenever I was sick. Also, when I was writing Sly’s rambling bit, I did not put any periods in the paragraph because I wanted to make it seem like she’s going on and on and isn’t stopping. However, I thought it to be weird and so I put the paragraph into the “translate to english” thing so that I could press the audio icon and hear what it sounds like. I’m happy to report that it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in my entire life because her monotone voice saying all that was very amusing. 

There is no telling what fic I will post next. Last week, I was all over the place and working on several fics, moving from one to another when I got bored of the story. Also, my mental state is not the best at the moment. I’ve been feeling self-conscious about my writing recently, and I’m probably gonna go through another episode of that because this is gonna be the first fic that marks the end of tag lists and so this is probably gonna be an underrated fic because fewer ppl will see it. I came to realize that it’s not me who’s writing bad fics; even though I tag people, there’s a noticeable lack of interaction, so it’s likely that some of my followers just aren’t active anymore. There was a fanfic writer who I really like because their loki fics are amazing. A few weeks ago, I found their other blog that I was not aware of beforehand and they made a post 3 weeks ago saying that they would no longer be writing fics because there were barely any people interacting with them. She seemed really upset, saying stuff like “I guess my fics just aren’t good enough”, “no one can save me anymore” (I know that sounds very ominous but she was insinuating “no nice comments will make me change my mind”), and “I feel like deleting my blog because there’s a sense of failure in just leaving them there”. This made me really sad, and a part of me was afraid that one day, I would adopt a similar mindset. However, I know that there’s a group of people who will always be there to read my stories, so I’m gonna try to hold onto that idea and continue writing to make you happy and myself happy as well. Also I just realized that I always include one part in my author’s note that’s just sad for some reason :’)

ANYWAYS, I remember making a post a longgggg time ago that said “I promise that I will finish the slytherpuff series if it’s the last thing I do”. That has changed; I plan to post all the chapters leading up to their requited love at last (aka the part in which they actually get into a relationship together). After that, there’s still a bunch of chapters but they’re just fluffy bits, i.e. rainy day, they bake together, oop it’s one of their birthdays, etc. In other words, they aren’t essential to the plot. I could turn them into one-shots and stuff, but some of the chapters relate to the characters’ lives. In addition, it’s sweet to see their relationship progress. For those chapters regarding fluffy bits of their relationship, I won’t feel incentive to write them right away because their love is already requited and I also have two big series that I would rather work on. However, I’m not gonna start another series yet because I don’t wanna leave you on a cliffhanger in Chapter 3 and suddenly start writing a whole other series. The plan is to post all the chapters for the slytherpuff series leading up to the moment when they start dating (Chapter 7 or 8 will probably be when they actually get together). That way, there’s no rush to complete it because it’s just easy and sweet since they’re already in a relationship and readers aren’t anxiously waiting to see what happens next. After that, I will probably begin writing the other series, which will be different from the original slytherpuff series. You’ll see why. Once in a while, I will go back to the original series and write for that when I feel like it. 

I’m trying my best to finish writing Chapter 4 :( It is gonna be long - I’ve already written about 7 pages and I am thinking of splitting it into two parts. If I do, I might be posting part 1 soon because it’s kind of already done. Then again, I like the idea of just posting it all at once. We’ll see! I’m gonna try to work on that after this. My desire to write is sporadic, but comments and interactions from readers are very impactful in terms of my motivation to write, so be sure to leave feedback if you can! I’ll see you all again the next time I post a fic. Thanks for reading!

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[that-house]

Viego Rant (villainy and character design and tragedy and all that jazz)

Introduction The more I think about Viego, League of Legends’ newest character, the more enamored I am with him as a villain (unrelated to his general sexiness, though that does tie in with what makes him such a good villain).

I’ve seen a lot of complaints about his design. The Ruined King, one of the greatest threats in Runeterra, the progenitor of the Shadow Isles, the lord of the undead, is finally released as a playable champion and he looks like this:

People were expecting another Mordekaiser (who is similarly an undead king with a ghost army), a lich-tyrant clad in iron, decayed flesh peeling from an aged face. What we got was an angsty anime prettyboy, and it was infinitely better than the alternatives. 

Lore Viego isn’t a conquering king. While his combat abilities are indeed badass, his personality is far from it. He’s a whiny brat and that’s incredible. He isn’t bent on world domination. His character arc revolves around just how human, how fallible he really is. For those unfamiliar with his lore, I’ll paraphrase it here:

Viego was the second son of a great king. Overshadowed by his brother and with no expectations upon him and near-limitless wealth, he wandered around being an idiot fuckboy for the vast majority of his formative years. Disaster struck when his brother died in an accident, and Viego took the throne with no training, no experience, and no desire to be king. He was a shitty king. The worst king. Just all-around apathetic. Gave zero shits. Can you blame him? It’s a lot of responsibility to be thrust upon someone who isn’t much more than a child, and with no preparation. He didn’t care about anything, that is, until he met Isolde. She was a poor seamstress, but he fell in love with her upon their first meeting. Together they ruled the country but it was really just them staring longingly into each others’ eyes. His allies were kinda fucking pissed about that, and one day an assassin came from Viego. The assassin fucked up and stabbed Isolde instead, and the poison on the blade made her fall gravely ill. As she lay in her bed, slowly dying, Viego went mad seeking a cure. He ravaged the land seeking any knowledge that might help, pouring all of his money into finding an antidote. He failed. As a last resort, he brought Isolde’s body to the Blessed Isles, a place rumored to be able to resurrect the dead. It worked, to an extent. Isolde’s wraith, confused, afraid, and angry at being ripped from the peace of death, unthinkingly stabbed Viego in the chest with his own magic sword, creating basically a magic nuke that turned the Blessed Isles into the domain of the undead. Viego resurrected as the king of the Shadow Isles some time later, having totally forgotten that Isolde killed him. He controls a big-ass ghost army, could probably beat up any living thing in a fight, and has evil ghost magic. Now this stupid simp wants his wife back and if he has to kill every living thing on Runeterra, well, anything for his queen. He’s even a tier 3 sub to her Twitch.

Music His musical theme isn’t some heavy metal anthem or intense cinematic piece (unlike the Pentakill song named after his sword, Blade of the Ruined King). It’s mostly sad and slow, almost sinister, with a piano and a music box. It has its loud moments featuring violins and choral bits like any villainous music, but the song is mostly subtle. It is a banger though.

In the comments section of this video, someone pointed out that the music reflects his story from beginning to end:

Everything about this champion is so well done. Riot Games really outdid themselves on this one. Bravo, encore please.

Motivation While the Mordekaiser circlejerkers on r/LeagueofLegends won’t shut the fuck up about how powerful Mordekaiser is, Viego is the better villain. Mordekaiser may be a bigger threat to all life on Runeterra, but Viego is a better character. (There’s a guy on my League discord server who won’t shut up about Mordekaiser so forgive me for being pissed at Morde stans).

Mordekaiser is motivated by a desire for control, to rule the world. Viego is motivated by obsession and misplaced love. There aren’t a lot of Mordekaisers on Earth. Supervillains are rare in real life. But Viego’s motivations are a lot closer to home. People in positions of power that they don’t deserve can do a lot of harm (for example: Trump).

He’s a grieving husband who was never prepared to deal with anything more difficult than choosing what wine to drink with dinner, who is trying to get his wife back because the world had always complied to his every whim. He’s a funky mix between a truly hopeless romantic and a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum.

Obsession is scary. It’s a real-world emotional state that’s been the cause of a lot of murders over mankind’s history. In contrast, Mordekaiser’s cartoonish Genghis Khan XXL schtick isn’t something that we encounter often. Of course a superpowered ultradictator would be worse for the world, but if you give ultimate power to a random person, you’re more likely to get someone like Tighten from Megamind. Or, more relevantly, Viego.

Design His design is sexy and stupid, just like him. He wears an open shirt into battle and wields his sword like an idiot (I’ve seen all the rants about how that’s not how that sword is meant to be used) because he was never really a warrior. Even at his most violent, right before the end of his mortal life, he didn’t do much combat himself, leaving his military endeavors to his underlings. Even now that he’s essentially a god, he still has a colossal wraith army that causes far more devastation than he ever could personally.

Despite his slim build (by League of Legends standards), he easily wields his colossal sword because of the strength of his state of undeath. Like his political power when he was alive, his posthumous magical and physical powers were never something he sought out, they were just given to him by circumstance.

The big cool-ass triangle hole in his chest where Isolde stabbed him is the source of the Black Mist, which is evil ghost mist that ebbs and flows from the Shadow Isles, bringing with it hordes of the undead. The sadder Viego is, the more Mist he creates. Poetically, his invasion of the world is inspired by his sorrow at his wife’s death and enabled by his wife’s reluctance to return to him. His story is perfectly reflected by his design.

Isolde Isolde’s spirit took up residence inside a young Senna (who’s another League champion, not particularly important here). This led to some Black Mist-related shenanigans and at least for the time being, Senna uses Isolde’s power to fight off the servants of Viego which threaten all life on Runeterra.

It seems pretty clear that whatever love Isolde felt for Viego is gone by now. Whether or not she ever loved him or was just unable to say no to the king is up for debate, but I’d like to believe there was something there. In my opinion, Viego’s story hits harder if they really were a great couple at first, torn apart by circumstance and obsession.

Much like the Maiden of the Woods in that one comic that circulates around here, to whom the knight gave his heart and she was like “yo what the fuck i literally never asked you to do this,” Viego went a little too far in trying to save her. They may have once been happy, but the Ruined King ruined his own life, too.

Unless Isolde is a lot less morally decent than we’ve been led to believe, I doubt she can forgive all the massacring that her husband’s been doing lately. In the recent cinematic, she was shown to be pretty anti-Viego. Maybe she’ll get a bastardization arc, but it certainly seems unlikely.

All of Season 2021 is based around Viego, Isolde, and the Shadow Isles, so we’ll just have to see what comes next. It’s possible that we’ll get Isolde as a playable champion, which should clear a lot of things up.

Final Thoughts Unlike so many villains, he’s not fueled by rage or hatred, but rather by sorrow. He’s stuck in his past, unable to move on. He regrets the actions of his life but is set on his course now. The sunk-cost fallacy comes into play here; he’s put so much time and effort and blood into bringing back Isolde, that turning away from it would feel to him like an insult, not only to her but to the innocent lives he’s taken in her name.

His tale is a tragedy, a love story gone horrifically wrong. Viego has suffered throughout his thousand-year life. Despite this, he’s undoubtedly the villain. His permanent death would be a net positive for the world. In has rage and grief he’s destroyed multiple civilizations, and will burn down the world to get Isolde back.

His heart may be in the wrong place, but it’s in a very human place. I don’t think he’ll get the ending he’s looking for, but I hope he finds some closure in the end.

#League of Legends #viego #i swear no one's gonna read this #even if you dont care about League i tried to make this interesting #even if you don't like League as a game the lore is pretty fucking solid

[bikamalas]

skater! suzukka au

Disclaimer: I cannot, in fact, actually skate

Still obsessed with my skateboarding yue/surfer katara universe so here we are

Zuko started learning to skate after he finally got out of Ozai’s house

He got really good at it and specifically enjoys doing the most dangerous tricks and stunts possible

He has a youtube channel where he does borderline illegal skateboarding shit where he wears a mask and is called, you guessed it, the Blue Spirit

He and Toph are best friends because they skate at the same illegal betting ring

Sokka started skating around the time he met Suki

Suki is reallly into skating and she’s the one who got Sokka into it

I don’t know the like. Genres of skateboard stunts but his are more stylish than dangerous if that makes sense? Like they look super cool but there’s no risk of dying. Idk

Sokka also makes relly good custom skateboards and shit, his skateboard has a boomerang on it because I say so

The Kyoshi Warriors are a roller derby team!

Suki’s been skating since she was a kid. She’s sort of like the og skater

She skateboards AND rollerblades because she is That Bitch(tm)

Her skating requires insane levels of acrobatic talent and upper body strength like. Insane

Anyway Sokka and Suki met Zuko in what was sophomore year for them, junior year for Zuko

They were kind of on edge at first because Zuko is a very scowly looking kid and he got into three fights in his first week

But they were with Chan and Ruon-Jian who do not ✨deserve✨rights✨ 

When they actually talk to him they’re just like ‘aw, a baby!’

The three of them start skating together and after like. Two months of hanging out Suki and Sokka both realize they have a crush on Zuko and they’re like ‘oh shit’

They’re both really embarrassed about it and are really on edge and guilty around each other for a couple of weeks and it fucks up their Vibe(tm)

But then they both confess and happily agree to pine like fools together

Meanwhile Zuko is doing his only foolish pining on the side confused and guilty

And then Azula, Mai and Ty Lee start dating and he’s like both? Both. Both is good

Anyway after some time they all get high as shit and confess

And from then on they start dating each other

Katara calls them gross practically on the daily because while Katara and Yue are attached at the hip constantly the extent of their pda is kissing each other on the cheek while Sokka is making out with Suki while sitting on Zuko’s lap practically melded to him

They are a very high profile couple at the skate park they frequent, literally everyone is a suzukka shipper

And they literally can’t go two seconds r=without reaffirming to each other how good looking they are

Skater suzukka is a good idea guys why isn’t this a thing

#suzukka #atla #sokka #zuko #suki #zukka #zukki

[paradife-loft]

why the nie sect leaders’ inevitable death by qi deviation isn’t (just) about the sabers

(now at AO3!)

So, okay, this is a meta I’ve been working on/wanting to write/dropping hints to various people about now for quite a while! I think it’s significant thematically to some of the main questions MDZS/CQL asks, about cycles of justice and vengeance, the tension between personal agency and aspects of a situation outside one’s control, and good intentions often not being enough on their own, particularly to forestall problems resulting from imperfect or fatally flawed means to an end.

As a fantasy story, I think one of the strengths of MDZS/CQL is how it uses magic to reflect aspects of its thematic questions in certain cases as literal external forces, events that exist in a format outside just a character’s internal journey. The metaphors and proper social and personal orders these characters live by, have very real physical consequences in the world that result from the existence and manipulation of magical/spiritual energies.

And to my view, the part of this that I want to make the case for here, is how this relates to the Nie sect’s cultivation practises, and why I think the clan’s history of leaders succumbing to instability and qi deviation is a more complicated interplay of a few different factors, rather than just an externally-imposed illness whose source is purely their saber spirits.

* * *

Like, okay. The characters and narrative do, in fact, spend a lot of time discussing the Nie sect leaders’ early violent deaths in the context of their sabers’ spirits becoming angry and aggressive and affecting their mental and spiritual stability. So it makes sense to focus on those actual items as the essential reason behind why they qi deviate and end up dying the way they do. But there was something… logically unsatisfying to me about the idea that just the number of edges on your bladed weapon would make such a difference that sword spirits (also generally used for killing! because they’re also deadly weapons!) are apparently morally neutral but sabers, on the other hand, just Cannot Stop with the killing once they’ve gotten a taste of it.

But if you take an experimental step away from the idea that sabers must somehow be Inherently Different from swords in their response to violence - what possible explanations are left? Or, asked a different way - what makes the Nie sect’s ideological cultivation focus distinct from other sects’? The Lan focus on regulation and self-restraint as the path to goodness; the Jiang focus on self-knowledge and following what you know as right even against difficult odds; the Jin seem to emphasise value in beauty and unique rarity… and what the Nie seem to place the most value on, is dispensation of justice and abhorring evil, even to an extent that refuses attempts at compromise.

The only problem is, the justice that they (and plenty of others) seem to focus on most often, is justice for capital crimes - paying with a life for a life - and no matter how righteous and justified the motives, what this still ends up with is a spiritual path that spends a comparatively awful lot of time on seeking others’ deaths. And we see, throughout the story, more than one thematic hint that this is maybe not the best method for moving toward harmony or immortality.

Lan Qiren’s impromptu quiz of Wei Wuxian when the latter is fucking off in class. His example problem specifies the resentful spirit was an executioner in life (societally-sanctioned to kill others for heinous crimes), and Wei Wuxian notes that one who’s killed so many is a very likely sort to become a resentful corpse; meanwhile his many victims also remain tethered to cycles of vengeance and anger, able to be easily stirred up into a force of resentful energy that would target him if their corpses were disturbed.

The dialogue between Wei Wuxian and Fang Mengchen in the Burial Mounds after the attempted siege turns into the major sects being saved from a trap. It’s all very fine and good to hold a grudge, to see a lack of justice for a harm that can’t ever be undone or repaired when the one who caused it gets to be alive and well (or even not!), but as Wei Wuxian says - what are you going to do about it? It’s so easy for there to always be a wrong that needs righting (in a real or alleged guilty party’s blood). But will it get you anywhere? Can a person, can a society, mete out justice or vengeance once and have that wipe the slate clean, or will the wound reopen again and demand yet more suffering? Where does it end?

The discussion about the Nie’s ancestral saber halls with Huisang, where Wei Wuxian notes that the method of suppressing the saber spirits edges rather close to demonic cultivation. In literal terms, that question seems to be directed at the actual use of evil individuals’ transforming corpses to contain the sabers’ power. But I think the entire conversation, and Huisang’s need to swear them to secrecy and enlistment as backup if other clans find out and get angry, contains a certain amount of thematic subtext reflecting not just on the saber tomb itself, but the Nie clan’s cultivation as a whole. These are significant and revered family heirlooms, not easily or justly discarded, but maintaining them isn’t without cost, and the spiritual fallout rests on the edge of a knife, needing the perpetual presence of an evil to fight to remain in balance: the saber tomb is both the literal and metaphorical end result of the clan leaders’ cultivation path.

“But why,” you may ask, “if the principles underlying the Nie sect’s whole culture have an edge that’s sharper and more harmful to the user’s qi than other cultivation philosophies of the rest of the sword-using sects, do we only see “death by qi deviation” as an issue for the sect leaders, and not more widespread among a larger portion of the disciples?”

And that’s where the “(just)” part of the title of this post comes in, because that aspect is where the difference comes down to the sabers - or, specifically, the named sabers that have spirits of their own. The spiritual sabers aren’t bloodthirsty and excited to haunt and/or kill people right out of the gate, but rather, as Huisang explains, they become restless after spending their wielder’s lifetime destroying evil. A cultivator and their spiritual tools develop a relationship over time, as their cultivation is practised and refined - they bond, they recognise one another, and crucially, they seem to be able to share a kind of spiritual feedback loop, with the energies and intentions of one connecting to and ideally bolstering the strength of the other. The Nie clan in general seems marked by particularly strong relationships between individual cultivator and weapon, considering the sabers’ refusal to allow a clan leader’s descendants to inherent them, and both the circumstances of Mingjue’s father’s death and his own trauma reaction to that death.

So in this case, the illness and eventual qi deviations the Nie clan leaders suffer, the way the saber spirits come to weigh on their minds and emotions, make sense to me as a confluence of the particularly close bond and almost spiritual symbiosis between wielder and weapon, and the particular subject of emphasis that the clan leader lives by in how they train with and use that weapon. Focusing on justice as killing, as violent destruction of evil (the last resort one should aspire to after other solutions have failed, per Lan Qiren’s lesson), may not be the most spiritually healthy in any circumstance, but it’s only when you have half a lifetime’s worth of a mental feedback loop between you and this external, semi-sentient part of yourself that’s reinforcing the spiritual toll of that path, that you actually end up with a resulting qi deviation and death.

* * *

So, anyway, I do want to be clear having put forth this argument, that my point here is not to condemn the Nies, nor for that matter blame the sect leaders for their own deaths - that’s very much not in line with how the text itself displays flaws and virtues as two sides of the same coin (at times divided only by the context around them), and shows how destructive consequences can result from the best of intentions. For that matter, each major sect has unquestionably valuable basic principles at its heart, and just like microcosms of any culture, society, or group, displays instances of those principles being distorted, misaimed, or taken to extremes in ways that cause disharmony and pain to those in their path.

I think the way it plays out for the Nie clan just interests me in particular because of the way their uniqueness in cultivation method plays such known havoc with its members’ bodies and minds, and the way it straddles the divide between upright and demonic cultivation. MDZS asks, I think, more questions than it offers definitive answers to, and a significant one of those is, even if vengeance, even if death-as-justice is righteous, where do you balance all the harm done to others (up to and including) the justice-seeker in deciding whether to continue down that path of action?

And if it’s the Nie sect’s spiritual focus in combination with the spirits of their sabers that wear down a slow stream of damage to their qi, rather than simply the external threat of the sabers alone - that seems congruent, to me, with the suggestions offered elsewhere in the story.

#MDZS #The Untamed #CQL #meta #no good things for the poor sad cultivators #op #rambling #Nie Mingjue #Nie Huaisang #nooottt really putting in the searchable character tags I hope considering it's less *about* them and more ancillary...? aahh #Nie sect fascinates me it really really does #(alternate title: huisang is philosophically not much of an exception in his sect even though he doesn't use a saber . txt) #also ty Ame for doing a read-through of thiiissss ur the best <333 #long post for ts

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros: Character Headcanons prt2: The Boys ™️"

Heracles:

He is literally the 2nd strongest individual in all of Greece. The first is Atlas and the 3rd is Dionysus.

Every single thing that has happened to him is canon. The labors, the romantic nights of crossdressing when he was a slave, everything. He doesn't give a flying fuck about what you think he did. There is a likely chance he may have done it, whether he wanted to or not.

He's the tallest and most heavily built of Zeus children. It continues to baffle Hera and Zeus how Heracles is so large. When he started to grow olders, Zeus was worried if Heracles was the "prodigal usurper" that would over throw him, but solved this by having more children.

Heracles doesn't have any weaknesses nor fears. This effectively makes him the biggest threat to.... literally every other devine entity.

He doesn't hate Hera. Oddly enough he is fully aware of her frustrating marriage, so as penance, he tries everything to help her with whatever ever meaningless task she wants him to do. He basically is an unwanted adopted son to her. On Hera's side, she despises him, and she equally hates the fact that he's even alive, but it breaks her heart everytime Heracles does something nice for her.

After years of enduring cruelty, he still doesn't hold a lot of ill will. It's just a part of his strength.

Inspite of his polite and stern demeanor he actually does have a short fuse, he just chooses when it would be inappropriate time to lose his temper.

He has been married 1 1/2 times. His first marriage was rather normal until Hera ruined it, he was "pretend" married to Queen Omphales when they were doing their thing, and is currently married to Hebe.

He's actually a big softy, when he smiles it's considered as rare as a blue harvest moon, it's just that his face is so muscular that his default expression is "resting death face".

He actually enjoys hanging out with his more powerful siblings with the main exception of Ares and Aphrodite. He considers Ares to be "too immature to fight him" and he's too much of a legendary dude bro to fuck Aphrodite, he just wants love not fuck.

He can be bashful at times, mostly when he is told to either display himself or flaunt. He became bashful after his year of slavery with Omphales. It was more of a time of discovering he genuinely may have some deepseeded issues and Omphales helped him out figure out his insecurities.

Perseus:

He's considered Zeus's favorite demi-child. Mostly because Zeus considers him a "little earthly version of Apollo". Perseus however dispises this comparison.

He's currently in his mid 30s, yet he's still concerned the greatest hero in all of Greece. In some arguments he's always compared to Heracles, much like how one would compare Superman and Batman.

If he had a voice actor, it would be William Defoe. He's gives off this vibe of an old school kind of man with a side of chill.

He isn't too proud of his status as a demigod. It all started when he had to kill Medusa. The thing is that Medusa was the more prettier sister of the three legendary Gorgons however she was also considered the kindest out of the three. So when he kept being pressured by not just the fact that he had to save his mother from the marriage she did not want, save Andromeda from a sea monster that was being sent to kill her, and extra pressure from the gods too reclaim his honor as the son of Zeus... He had to basically do something he really did not want. Little did he know at the time, there were other means to be successful in his mission, years later when he discovered this he had become disillusioned with the glorious image of being a demigod. This ended up affecting him personally, affecting his marriage and ultimately a motivation to continue his quest to be a hero for the sake of helping those who need it most...not for glory.

He has this charming tooth gap that he's had since he was young. It's a distinguishing feature that basically separates him from being compared aesthetically to Apollo. He's also has a little stubble, riddled with small scars and abrasions from his many battles.

He with do a background check on you and your request, he has had plenty of experience with people trying to take advantage of him. Being a man who is willing to do the job correctly and as best as possible, people tend to hire him in order to give rid of whatever creature is just mildly inconveniencing them.. a good example would be if a farmer notices there's a griffin nearby but the Griffin isn't doing anything so he hires Perseus to kill the Griffin so it doesn't kill the goats, Perseus will find every way to either remove the Griffin from location or the farmer himself. He tries nearly everything to make sure he doesn't end up killing anything in the end, ironically this is what makes him an effective hero.

He's currently divorced with andromeda, due to his own personal and our struggles it's affected his love life to an extent where he is considered emotionally distant or just uninterested in being married. he doesn't have any infidelity issues or anything he just genuinely lost his motivation as a person but regained the motivation to be a better hero. Turns out Andromeda was the one who was cheating on him, he doesn't have any ill will against her surprisingly and he can't blame her either.

He has a 5 year old daughter who lives with lives with Andromeda. He always finds a way to secretly stop by to say hi and give her a gift.

The only person he tolerates from Olympus is Hermes, he still seems to see him more as a mentor and older brother than anything. He has a more professional relationship with Athena but after the conflicting information both her and Poseidon gave him when he had to kill Medusa, he tends to be very cold to both gods.

You actually never had ambrosia until Heracles introduced it to him, that was the day when he was deemed a full strength demigod. He's still angry at that because he wanted to die in peace of old age or in battle. It's the only thing Heracles is genuinely remorseful for.

He actually sees Pegasus less like a pet and more like a really oddly shaped brother. Turns out after he dug further into the situation, he found out that technically Pegasus is a half brother. so he just has full blown conversations with a creature that can't respond to him in human language, nobody really understood it at first until he explained it to Heracles and only Heracles.. because he loves being spiteful that way.

Theseus:

This is although equally as handsome as many of Zeus's sons, he's probably the least intelligent. It's even argued that he's actually less intelligent than Ares.

He's a complete himbo, outside of his lack of intelligence, he's also extremely vain. Both Perseus and Heracles theorize that if it wasn't for the promise of marrying minos's daughter, he probably wouldn't have helped in the first place.

In between heracles, perseus, and the rest of Zeus's sons, he's the second shortest. The shortest is Hermes. Hermes continues to be any perpetual cycle of distress and mild apathy because of this.

He's also the top person on Dionysus's hit list. For abandoning Ariadne, Dionysus cursed him to consistently get attacked by random animals.. specifically leopards and or animals of the felide family. Theseus still hasn't any idea that his lack of animal magnetism is actually a curse.

He genuinely does not know Ariadne is still alive, he's convinced himself that she abandoned him or just went back home for some bizarre reason. It's also never occurred to him that he may have accidentally left her on an island, it is not known rather or not he actually abandoned her on purpose or just because of unbridled ignorance.

He's surprisingly resourceful for somebody who couldn't figure out how to get through the labyrinths correctly the first time, he actually took one turn before he went directly back to the entrance and tried his best to go any deeper but still went back to the entrance. His resourcefulness may come from Poseidon's side of the gene pool.

Ironically, Zeus actually has no idea if this one is even his kid. There's an ongoing rumor amongst the Olympians that Poseidon and Zeus may have accidentally slept with the same woman, unfortunately it is not known rather or not Theseus it really is Zeus's or Poseidon's son. The two brothers rather not fight over this because it really doesn't matter in the end.

Due to Theseus's self-righteous arrogance, many of his ventures usually results in his god-given resourcefulness helping him out. Most of his success is attributed to either giving himself all the credits or simply assuming that he actually did something. this angers Perseus and Heracles quite a lot actually. And oddly enough unlike the two, Theseus never actually had to do anything above simply appearing and "solving the problem". His most iconic triumph right next to killing the Minotaur, was actually slaughtering a few Amazons. Ares is till this day trying to formulate the worst and most painful way to kill Theseus.

He's actually a bit of a coward.

He maybe currently king of Athens, but mostly because Athena directly influences him from time to time. Apparently he doesn't have the mental fortitude to resist Athena's control. Good for her because he isn't a really good ruler.

Achilles:

He's the sturdy brother. Prior to his injuries, he actually was similar to Ares but he was a little more clever. He was the best warrior in his army and he was the assisting tactician.

Post injuries, he has lost an eye, Perseus had to amputate his messed up leg thus he had a prosthetic foot made by Hephaestus, and he two more mental injuries. PTSD from his battle at Troy and the brain damage from an arrow that went through his eye.

Because of his brain damage, he can speak in incomplete sentences. He also has outbursts of wrath and acts out his battles. When he's speaking in full sentences, he's going through a thing where he genuinely believes he's back to his old life, going as far as referring to anyone around him as people he use to know, this actually maybe a side effect of his ptsd. Heracles and Perseus are aware of these quirks of his and does their best to make it less problematic for Achilles.

It's been century since the downfall of Troy, after somehow surviving the process of death through means that even he can't remember, Achilles seems to be immortal in both senses of the word. He neither aged since the downfall of Troy and it doesn't seem that he died from his wounds like he should have. Because of his prolonged existence in the underworld, he has also gained the ability to see ghosts, unfortunately the others think he's just simply talking with "the ghost of his past" and think nothing else of it.

Hades actually wasn't aware of Achilles's existence in the underworld until many of the residents started complaining of disappearances. After some thorough investigations, Hades found him basically living feral in the more isolated portion of the underworld where it seems he was surviving off the flesh of anything that would come across his path. At first Hades tried to help him pass on, but Achilles had other plans so he battled Hades instead and survived. Hades may have won but he has a large scar on the base of thigh from his encounter.

His invulnerability didn't actually come from his mother dipping him in the river Styx, or at least that wasn't fully the way he could have became invulnerable. One actually has to consume a little bit of the River to become fully invulnerable. When Achilles was a child, he was just merely dipped in it thus it gave him invulnerability until his skin was broken by the arrows, when he found himself in the underworld, he couldn't find any fresh water so he drank from the Styx instead. That is when he became fully invincible to the point of godhood. Now he's arguably even more indestructible than Ares.

Achilles actually seems to be have been completely hardwired differently after his experience. He isn't a genius, but he does seem to find solutions to things in unexplained ways.

He sees Perseus and Heracles as proxy soldiers and brothers-at-arms instead of biological half brothers. Never having any knowledge of them until they rescued him from the underworld.

He REALLY doesn't like Poseidon and Ares, the interesting part is that he doesn't understand why. It's as if he can't remember why he hated them so much, he has a passing apathy twords Apollo. He also doesn't understand why occasionally Apollo stares him down like an angry dog, infact Apollo never really elaborated on the fact that it was Achilles who desecrated his Temple back at Troy. Many of the gods actually don't fully understand what is going on with Achilles with the exceptions of Hermes, Ares and Dionysus. Since all three gods understand how mortals physically work, they can sympathize with him. However, every time when Ares interacts with Achilles, it always seems to look like someone put two male honey badgers in the same room with a shiv and a pocket knife tied to their heads when they're done fight.

He's likes horses, he actually tries to talk to them like as if it was his fellow soldiers. In reality, many horses he talks to are actually reincarnated warriors from various parts of Greece. some have no memories of their past lives, and some are fully aware that they've been reborn into a completely different life. In some bizarre senses Achilles accidentally may have coined the idea that horses are just reincarnated soldiers who died in battle. Strangely enough it's the only set of individuals he has fully constructed conversations with instead of just incomplete sentences perfectly summarizing his thoughts.

Achilles knows how to use almost every single weapon you can give him and for some reason he can learn how to use a new weapon that he's never seen before in just a matter of minutes. This is because he apparently has really good muscle memory and half of the time he just accomplishes so many interesting things because of it.

He genuinely enjoys watching Hephaestus and hangout with him in his workshop. He likes the dimly lit but warm workshop, he find it far more comfortable than the cold and damp cavern he'd stayed in after he "died".

No one is certain how he even survived to begin with. Some of the rumors that have stemmed from this situation say a Fury took him in out of pitty and nursed him back to moderate health, to Eris being responsible for his survival.

He's surprisingly stubborn for somebody who may have lost 10% of his brain function, memory, and who consistently goes through War flashbacks much like an old veteran would. At this point basically he has the physical strength and energy of somebody in his mid-twenties but the demeanor and temperament of somebody in their late eighties. The only way you can coax him to do anything is to simply trade with him. This could be either new weaponry for him to practice with, or just a snack.

#greek bros #greek-Bros #the boys™️ #achilles #heracles #perseus #Theseus #greek gods #greek mythology #greek myth #character study #hellenistic

[alyrae13]

Alright, time to explain my weeb ass! As promised, I’m gonna tell the reasons why I like each Gold Saint and why I see them as the way I do. Keep in mind, I’ll also may have to make this into two parts because of how long this would be in one single post, so please bare with me! Anyway, onward ho!!!

Libra Dohko

Starting off simple! Being a Libra myself, it’s easy to see that I would like this cool madafaka; He’s basically a better, more sensible version of Yoda. The reason I don’t feel very attracted to him is because I see him as the badass grandfather type, like the cool Chinese grandfather that could teach you how to kick ass while also being chill enough to unwind during tea time. 100% Dope Grandpa through and through.

Taurus Aldebaran

Now for the other one! Alde is a man who’s sweet as sugar cane yet as powerful as a raging bull. Despite his height, he’s a kind man when off the battle field and ready to fight for Athena when on said battle field. He’s not a character I’m attracted to because I see him as a strong yet sweet uncle figure who’s ready to stand alongside ya in both normal life and when fighting. He’s a tender giant of a man who supports those around him. Gentle Giant Uncle 100%.

Capricorn Shura

Now we go on to the tricky stuff. Shura, dear god do I love him. His character ideology is just so interesting due to the differences between the manga and anime. Wielder of the holy sword Excalibur, he could cut you to bits and think nothing of it. There’s also a possible angst hanging over him; He was the one sent to kill off Aiolos, knowing well how it would have affected little Aiolia. Imagine the amount of guilt he had for killing someone’s only family member? Even worse when you take the consideration of him realizing that he was willing to kill an innocent man without knowing about it, meaning he now knows he just tore a family apart and cause so much pain in vain. And please don’t get me even started on the Hades Saga and Soul of Gold. His character is just so great to me and I’m glad he was able to get on good terms with Aiolia in Soul of Gold. Plus, he’s a sexy Spanish man who’s super loyal, so why wouldn’t I love him?

Aquarius Camus

Camus, oh boy... Camus is someone who just gives me a whole array of emotions despite him not openly expressing them himself. On the surface, he is rather cold and distant due to not wanting to draw people into despair by showing exasperation, yet he’s still in control of his emotions rather than just suppressing them. His willing to fight for his ideals and for what he believes as correct (Soul of Gold anybody?), and although his way of teaching Hyoga is questionable at best, his only doing what he thinks will make Hyoga stronger as a saint. Despite being a man who appears uncaring and emotionless, he really isn’t. After all, we’re taking about the same man who one stated about hating people who mourn over the past yet also deeply cares for his pupil and about being true to his word to an old friend. Camus is a man who truly cares for those around him despite him appearing otherwise. He’s also a Frenchman, and who doesn’t love a beautiful French?

Gemini Saga and Kanon

Oh good grief this will be a long explanation. For the sake of respect and love for these two, I’ll be going over them individually because why not make this post into a full on essay?

Frist of all, Saga, poor Saga. Dear lord the amount of trauma this man had to go through is just heartbreaking. A man with an undying loyalty to Athena with an evil split personality... A more tragic version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Not only was he forced to see his evil side kill Pope Shion and take over his identity, he had to see him try to kill baby Athena and send another saint to kill Aiolos; And he had to endure that fact for thirteen years. By the time he was finally free of his evil half, he was practically begging his beloved goddess to forgive him for all the hurt he caused. A powerful yet tragic man indeed. Then there is his relationship with Kanon (of who we’ll talk about in a moment), because it’s also a little sad. Kanon was definitely, a bit of a traitorous prick in the beginning and it was his imprisonment that led to Saga’s split personality in the first place. Yet you could still say that they at least cared for each other despite all the bullshit they must’ve gone through whilst growing up, because Saga was definitely happy in the Hades arc when he found his brother fighting for Athena.

Now for Kanon, fucking Kanon who despite starting out as an infidel of a man, then became a great character in the same vain as his brother Saga. Dude wanted to overthrow the Pope and kill baby Athena but ended up getting his butt locked in Cape Sounion. Now we know what happens there; Finds trident, get’s Poseidon half awakened, poses as the Sea Dragon and yada yada. It’s only when fighting Ikki does he end up changing because it’s then when Ikki told him the only reason he’s even alive is because of Athena’s Cosmo. So, plans in scrambles and now possibly gripped with an overwhelming sense of guilt, he goes over to Athena and without skipping a beat, becomes a shield against Poseidon‘s trident and begs Athena to forgive him before falling unconscious. And of course, we know about everything in Hades arc.

In the end, both men are equally cherished characters of mine and I won’t have it any other way. Also their handsome Greek men who need hugs and kisses and need to be told that they are loved and appreciated, so...

Cancer Deathmask

Oh Deathmask, you beautiful bastard you... Now Deathmask is more of an asshole than Kanon for reasons we all know at this point but I’m guessing his behavior could be explain simply due to the fact he is literally surrounded by death everyday. Like seriously, is it really a surprise that he’s like this when he’s constantly exposed to seeing the souls of the living fall right into practically hell? Nobody would be the same if they had to endure that, especially since most likely he started training to become a saint at a very early age. Now, this is when Soul of Gold comes into play, because god damn it how they wrote his character is just something. Firstly, he’s shown to be an gambling addict and an alcoholic, clearly unhealthy coping mechanisms for not being able to use his cloth and you know, being exposed to death at an early age and onwards for most of his life. Then we have Helena; Now, I’m not gonna lie, the whole ‘Changed better because of love’ trope is very much old at this point but it’s kinda ok because it shows us ‘Hey, even he has the opportunity to change and become a good man’. Deathmask, despite all the things he’s done against mankind, still has the potential to become an honorable Gold Saint and a decent human being; Plus his a sexy Italian who can rock the goatee look, so yay for the crab.

Pisces Aphrodite

Ah yes, the beloved fish boi. Honestly, I love his character simply because he breaks so many boundaries that it would be hard for me not to like him. He plays into the whole ‘appearances can be deceiving’ stick so well; He looks feminine yet his personally is quite the opposite (to some extent). His personality is something that’s interesting to me as well; Despite being so god damn beautiful, he doesn’t act narcissistic at all and doesn’t even care about having his appearance messed up in battle. HIs belief that power and strength are the most beautiful things in the world speaks fucking volumes to me and explains why he was willing to follow the False Pope’s orders. His character in Soul of Gold was just great as well! Like, to see his abilities and power being fully used to it’s full potential was simply badass and I doubt others won’t disagree with me on that one; He was definitely key in the story despite showing little of him. That’s way I love him so much; He’s a gorgeous Swede who can kick your ass and think little of it. He’s the type of man who will look damn good beating you up while shrugging off any damage to his figure like a frickin’ boss... He’s just that dope.

OK, that’s the first part of this really long post; Honestly this took me nearly an entire day to write, like, really. I had to take a break and ended up taking a nap before finishing this, it was that long. Hope many of you agree with my reasons for loving these characters so far and if not, that’s ok! Opinions are fine as long as no one gets hurt, so it’s fine if you don’t like them like I do! Anyway, I’m just gonna rest now because my fingers are killing me. Have a great day guys!

#saint seiya #gold saint #soul of gold #capricorn shura #aquarius camus #gemini saga #sea dragon kanon #cancer deathmask #pisces aphrodite #libra dohko #taurus aldebaran #anime #favourites #knights of the zodiac

[connorandersons-blog]

Kinktober day 17: Mirror sex, RK1K

Ok, this is VERY IMPORTANT!!! This has very heavy angst in it along with major self-hate. There is talks over dying or saying he should have died. Also there is established Markus/Simon with a hint of Markus/Simon/Connor at the very end. I just wanted to give a warning about the heavy angst. Also, this one was inspired by the song Creep so obviously that's a lot of not fun times akjsdhkal

Anyway, hope you enjoy!!

Everyone knew Markus was extraordinary, the whole world got to see that with his peaceful revolution. Connor had seen it when he first saw his speech. When he had lied to Hank about not noticing anything else. 

Markus had easily forgiven him without even knowing the full extent of what he's done and almost did. He couldn't meet his eyes, too ashamed of his past even as Markus pulled him into a comforting embrace. 

Markus seemed to know so much, he could do so much and he fit in. He stood out uniquely, but it wasn't like he wasn't supposed to be alive. Call it whatever you want, fate or destiny, he was meant to be alive. 

But Connor wasn't. He didn't belong with the humans, being an android and ultimately betraying them when he became deviant and freed those androids. 

He didn't belong with the androids, having done too much damage to even consider that possibility. He even felt guilty about staying with Hank. The man had enough on his plate.

Markus had his friends though, he didn't need Connor. He tried to be the best version of himself. He tried to be calm and stoic, posture perfect, and speaking only when spoken to. Yet he still faded into the shadows as Markus and his friends laughed together and fought together. 

He didn't tell anyone where he was staying, well he wasn't exactly staying anywhere. He would charge at the free stations, and wandered the streets the nights he didn't need to. 

He only did what was necessary and expected of him. He went to work once he was allowed, he was… he was cold. He could tell others were shocked, he acted more like a machine than he had before he deviated. Reed got even more aggressive, blatantly trying to start fights. He tried to end it peacefully but he often had to restrain him in some way, but he never pressed charges for assault. 

Hank tried to get him to open up but only met a cold wall. Eventually, he didn't try as hard. He wouldn't give up on him, not completely, but it was hard to keep trying when it seemed like Connor wanted nothing to do with him. 

Markus had tried the same thing, but again Connor only did what was necessary. Why would anyone actually want him around when he was a murderer? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer after all. 

It broke his heart. Maybe he just wasn't supposed to be friends or have anyone love him. Maybe this was his punishment. It was a fitting one, take away the thing he wanted the most. A life for a life. Or in this cause, a life for lives. Too many lives.

He tried, he really did. He didn't know why being perfect wasn't working. It only seemed to push everyone away from him. He wanted to hold Markus again, be in his warm arms. He had felt so safe there. He'd run to him but that wouldn't be fair. 

He had imagined being together, how wonderful it would be. But that would never happen. It would never happen especially when Markus and Simon started dating. They were perfect for each other. So god damn perfect. Everyone could see they were meant for one another.

Simon was sweet and caring and he never murdered anyone. He was so patient and even treated Connor just as kind as he treated everyone else. 

Connor couldn't hate him. He just couldn't. 

Connor wasn't meant for anyone. He wasn't meant for life or love or happiness. He knew that now and accepted it. 

But maybe he could find someplace that would at least tolerate him, and so he left. He never got to see how devastated Markus and Simon both were. He didn't see the heartbreak they went through when they couldn't find him. He didn't see Hank break down again but thankfully had enough strength to not end it all. 

He only ever saw his own self-hatred. It had clouded his mind so much he never saw how truly special and beautiful he was.

He didn't even leave Detroit, he simply kept to the shadows and his from anyone you may try to look for him. But he kept up with what they were doing after a few months. He knew Hank still went to work, but he decided not to contact him either. 

He knew the leaders of Jericho were doing as well as they could, and he tried to help the androids who had nowhere to go. The ones like Connor that were scared and couldn't go to anyone. 

He kept this up for years, two years, and six months to be exact. He had been out and about, going to charge up. He had been putting it off for far too long and couldn't wait till the night. 

"Connor?" The name had him quickly spinning, already knowing who it was. 

He had seen him from afar, he was always so careful to keep out of sight and never be caught. He had been so low he hadn't even noticed. "Markus," he greets politely with a small nod. 

"I've been looking for you, all this time I kept looking. Did you… did you even leave the city?" Markus asked, stepping closer. 

Connor swallowed and lowered his eyes to the ground. "I'm sorry to have troubled you, I know how busy you are."

Markus shook his head quickly. "No, Connor, hey. I don't care how busy I am, you disappeared. Connor, I miss you." He reached forward and before Connor could move away, pulled him into a hug. 

Like before. He's so warm and soft, yet still firm. Markus kept him close, squeezing hard enough that it would be uncomfortable for humans. But it was oddly comforting for Connor. He hadn't been touched…Hadn't been hugged for so long. He had imagined being in his arms at least one more time. 

He stiffened completely, he couldn't move his arms to hug back. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve Markus looking for him. 

"Come with me? We can go to, uh, there's a cafe opened by an android. I can treat you to some." Markus said, pulling back and gently cupping Connor's emotionless face. 

He knew the cafe, had helped the woman who made it. "I need to charge." He would, he'd promise to visit Markus but then he'd actually leave. Markus wouldn't need to look for him. 

"Ok, they have some at the cafe I think. One you can use without going into stasis." Markus seemed ready to pick Connor up and leave if necessary. 

He had to give in, just for a little bit. "Yeah, yeah I'll go with." 

Markus sighed and smiled so widely it almost hurt to see. Why was he so happy to see Connor? Connor had done so much wrong, he was made for evil so why did Markus even care? 

"Thank you, let's go, it's not a long walk." Markus hooked their arms together and Connor couldn't resist even if he wanted to. 

"Weren't you doing something?" Connor asked, and it's so odd to actually be talking to him after so long. 

Markus shook his head, keeping them close. "Nothing as important as you. Everything and everyone else can wait." 

Not as important as him? That was definitely impossible. Markus was the leader of the androids, literally, everything and everyone was more important. Why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't anyone fucking see that?!

He grits his teeth but didn't argue. No one wanted him to argue back, it made him even less likable than he already was.

"Connor, you can say what's on your mind," Markus says, interrupting his thoughts. 

He shook his head and tried to breathe normally. Did Markus always smell this good? He knew he did but it was still a shock to his systems. "No, it is not important." 

Markus sighed but didn't press, instead moving away to open the cafe door. Connor smiled just slightly as he saw how well it was still doing. Not only were there androids but there were humans too. He could also see an android and human couple probably on a date. What a cute idea. 

"Connor!" A voice boomed out and he shrunk back, trying to hide. He loves her but preferred not to be the center of attention. Which was going to happen anyway with Markus glued to his side. Heads turned and Connor moved back, Markus probably didn't even mean to, but he took a step in front of Connor, shielding him from the curious eyes. 

Connor held onto his arm, and Markus gave his hand a slight squeeze. "Hey, it's ok. Does she know you?" 

The woman in question quickly walked over, brushing off flour onto her apron. "Yes." He mumbled before squaring his shoulders and stepping forward. 

"Hey, baby! You should have visited months ago! You know you're always welcome here and whatever you want is on me." Her voice was loud just like the rest of her personality. But for some odd reason, she adored Connor. 

Markus watched the two, confusion clear on his face. How did they know each other? What was Connor even doing with his time? 

"I'm sorry, I've been busy. I was actually going to charge before I ran into Markus." He nodded towards Markus who gave a slight nod. 

Her eyes widened and she walked up, sticking out her hand. "Welcome! Any friend of Connor's is a friend of mine. Feel free to get anything, it'll be on me as well. Also, thanks for setting us free, that was cool as shit."

Connor bit his lip at the look of shock on Markus's face. He had to hold back the comment that they weren't friends, Connor had none, but knew it would make Markus look sad and he really didn't want that.

Markus took her hand and she practically shook it out of his body. Then she looked around and all but dragged them to a table, grabbing a charger. "There you boys go. Charge on up, you need it. Now, what do you want to eat and or drink?"

The people around them started going back to what they were doing and Connor relaxed just slightly. "I'm ok with whatever extra you have, and whatever drink." 

She raised an eyebrow but didn't seem all that shocked at Connor. "Alright kiddo, now what about you hun?" 

"Whatever you think is best, Ma'am." He smiled up at her and she nodded. 

"Very well! You two enjoy. Connor, I swear you better visit at least once a month or I'll find you and skin you alive." She glared down at Connor before grinning and winking. Connor nodded and watched as she walked off to the kitchen. 

"So, you know her?" Markus asks once Connor has himself hooked up to the charging port. 

Connor nodded and stared down at the table, even though he wanted to look up at Markus. See everything that had changed and stayed the same up close. See those absolutely beautiful eyes that had his wall he hid behind cracking. 

"Can I ask how?" Markus asks once he knows Connor isn't going to elaborate without prompting. 

"She needed to be fixed up, so I did. Then she needed money to start the business so I worked a few hard labor jobs and gave her the money." He didn't think it was anything special, he was just doing what he had to. 

Yet Markus seemed surprised. "That's amazing Connor! Have you been helping a lot of our people?" 

"Your people," Connor mumbled before shrugging. "I try to help those in need. The ones who had no one else to turn to." 

Markus reached out and took his hands in his own and placed a finger under Connor's chin and pushed up so he'll finally look up at him. "They are your people too, and you do know you can come to me. Or Anderson, North as well, and Josh and Simon. We all want you home, Connor. You're one of us." 

Connor yanked his hands away and placed them in his lap, not meeting his eyes. "They are your people. That isn't my home, I don't have one." He didn't deserve one either. He should be locked up, but the crimes androids committed before deviation were forgiven. But what about all those androids who died because he let the FBI follow him to Jericho? Their blood was on his hands. 

"Connor," Markus sighed and reached forward but Connor flinched away. "Please just promise me one thing. It's all I ask." 

Connor nodded, he'd at least think about whatever Markus wanted of him. If it was in his power he'd try to do it, but there were some things he could never do. 

"Don't leave Detroit. You don't have to come ho-back. But don't leave. You can keep hiding but I'd feel better knowing you were somewhere here." Markus pulled his own hands into his lap as Connor took in a shaky breath. 

Not leave Detroit? How did Markus know that's what he was planning? But he had to know that he had been found. He had been far too careless and now he had to leave the one city he knew. 

But Markus wanted him to stay. Why did he want him to stay? Was it because he was a liability? Connor had turned off his connections to Cyberlife, even limited his access to the internet in general. He had tried to make himself as harmless as possible, turning off some of his fighting programs as well. He kept a few defensive ones, he did live on the streets after all, but still. 

"Connor, please, I can't lose you again." Markus whispers and Connor finally meets his eyes. What he sees there stops his heart. Markus, strong confident Markus, is crying. 

"I promise!" He quickly says. He can't stand to see Markus cry, not over him. He can stay in Detroit, but he'll be more careful. He'll take back alleyways instead, he'd gotten far too comfortable to be walking around where anyone can see him. 

Connor's hands ache to reach forward and brush away those tears he's caused. But he can't, he just can't seem to move his arm. It's like he was a machine again and forced to follow his programming.  

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He mumbled, shame covering him like a familiar blanket. He had hurt Markus again and he hadn't meant to! 

"No! No, Connor it's ok. I just, we all miss you." Markus said, trying to brush away his own tears, blinking quickly. 

"No! No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He says quickly disconnecting from the charger, standing, and running out. He can hear Markus calling his name but he was faster. He knew the streets better, the ins and outs. So he disappears before Markus can even get out of his seat. 

Connor stays hidden for weeks, but he can see Markus looking for him. But it's not just that, Markus *talks* about him. He makes a point to mention the silent heroes and when someone asks if he's mentioning anyone specific, he says yes. Someone who didn't want to be named but someone Markus missed a lot and recently got to see. 

All signs pointed to that person being Connor, but he wasn't a hero. Far, far from it. 

He doesn't leave Detroit, he'll keep that promise. But it hurts so much. Just as much as it did the first month he had disappeared. He had missed Hank so much, he had missed Sumo, he missed North and Josh and Simon and Markus. But they were better off, safer, without him there. 

Then he takes a risk. It had been exactly a month since he saw Markus and the man had a series of paintings in a gallery. It wasn't the first time Markus had done this, his art was often used as a fundraiser to raise money for androids in need. 

This was a completely open one to the public. There was something that caught his attention. None of the original paintings would be on sale. They could get a signed copy, but not the original which generally would raise more money. 

His curiosity got the best of him. He dressed in plain clothes, hoping to hide in plain sight. Markus would no doubt be there, but Connor could manage to stay out of his radar. 

When he gets there it's incredibly crowded which helps but also caused a spike of anxiety. He wasn't fond of huge crowds but it helped hide him.

He looks at the first painting and brings a hand to cover his mouth, eyes wide. Each stroke had a smudging quality that rendered the image watery, like a reflection in a rippled puddle. But he knows what's painted. 

It's him. 

"Markus… Why?" He mumbled, looking around the room. It's, it's all him. Every single painting is somehow him.

He's beyond overwhelmed at the sight, all the paintings Markus has done. The time he put into each of these. But they aren't all within the last month. Connor can tell some are over a year old. Markus has been painting him for a very long time.

Markus had been painting him since the first time he left. 

He walked closer and reached down, running a hand across the dried paint.

"Sir, please don't touch the art." A voice called out and he snatched his hands back. Fuck, how had he forgotten he was at a gallery and others were here too. 

"I'm sorry." He mumbled to the security guard who just nodded. 

He could feel eyes on him and he quickly looked around, finding the mitch-matched eyes he knew so well. 

They stared at each other before Connor ducked his head and left the gallery, knowing Markus wasn't following. 

His days seemed to mold together, his mind still so focused on the memory of the paintings. They were all so beautiful, but why did Markus paint him like that? 

He wasn't worthy of being painted, especially not by Markus. But the paintings were also not on sale, so Markus didn't want anyone to have them. Maybe he just needed to do another gallery but had nothing else to show, so he found his least favorite works, not even worthy of being bought. Yes, that made more sense.

He was walking around, not exactly sure what to do when he heard a small bark. His head snapped up and he glanced around. He was in an almost completely abandoned parking lot, the pavement having too many holes and no one wanted to pay to have them fixed. There was one car left and he cautiously walked towards it. 

What he saw inside made his heart melt. A St Bernard puppy was inside and panting quickly. The weather was far too hot, and it was clear the puppy had been left here for too long. 

It was an older car, so he couldn't hack it to get in, but if he didn't somehow get in the puppy would almost certainly die. 

He could also see a closed water bottle with the puppy in the back seat, but that would do the dog little good without being able to open it. 

The car itself seemed to be barely operational. It could run but definitely not for much longer. 

He looked around one more time before elbowing the car window hard enough to crack it in one hit. Thankfully the puppy was smart enough to drag itself to the other side so Connor could break the glass enough to stick his hands in and grab the water and then the puppy. 

He sat down against the car, leaning on the tires as he looked over the puppy. How was Sumo doing? He hadn't gotten to see him except for the very few times he caught Hank taking him for a walk. 

He opened the bottle and poured a little into his hand, offering it to the puppy who was in his lap. The puppy leaned forward and took one slow lick before quickly lapping up all the water it could get. Connor let it drink the whole bottle before starting to pet the puppy. 

He'd need to get it to a vet soon, but for now, the puppy seemed content to nibble on Connor's fingers.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He flinched back at the loudness. "You can't just fucking do that! That's my fucking car you piece of shit!"

He ducks his head, shoulders coming up a little more as if it would protect himself. "I-I'm so-" he had just tried to help! He didn't know the owner would be back so soon, or even back at all! 

"No!" The person just waves their hands in an almost 'x' shape in front of them to back up their point "No you can't just fucking do that-" he jabbed a harsh finger at him then at the car "to my fucking property, jackass! What the fuck's wrong with you?!" 

He curls into himself more, his thirium pump beating harder and harder. It's like a building had fallen on him and he was struggling under the weight of it. A wave of...of something, something bad- he doesn't- he doesn't know, washes over him. 

'Please stop, please stop, please stop, please stop! Someone save me please!' The words repeat in his head as the man yells. He can't, he can't fucking breathe. 

He tries to suck in air but nothing is working! He covers his ears but he can still hear the man yelling at him. Shouting at him. He did wrong, he fucked up, he would be punished. They'd all be-she would be-so disappointed. 

The car had no AC! The puppy had been locked in there for hours, what the fuck was he supposed to do! "Please stop." He whimpered but it was drowned out by more yelling. So much yelling. 

His systems notify him that his message has been sent, but he didn't send one? Unless his pleads accidentally were sent out to someone. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

But then…. Then it stops? There's a sucking crunch and... He's shaking, he knows he is but he can't stop that. He can't look up, he can't uncurl himself. He has to protect the puppy, even if it meant taking whatever beating the man wanted to give out. Connor deserved it after all. 

"Leave." The one word pierces through to him and he knows that voice. But why? Why was he here? He wanted Connor to leave. He would, he would leave right now and never come back if he could just get his body to move! 

Someone, no, he knew it was Markus, crouched down in front of him. "Hey, Connor it's me, it's Markus, you're safe." His voice is so soft and he can finally look up. But even then he's a burr from the tears that threaten to spill over. 

"Markus?" It's so small and quiet, he sounds so broken. He could leave now, he could give the puppy to Markus and run. Run until he was far away from Detroit. 

But he doesn't do that. Instead, he falls into Markus' open arms and lets the sobs wrack his body. It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope.

Even though they are almost the same height, Connor feels so small in his hold, the puppy still laying in Connor's lap between them. He clings onto him, hands gripping Markus's suit jacket as he buries his face in his neck. 

"I'm s-sorry," he chokes out and keeps repeating it hoping Markus knows he's telling the truth. His breathing was ragged, gasping and the strength left his whole body.

He pulled away, and Markus' had to hide his own tears, especially at the sight of Connor. It was the face of one who had suffered before and didn't know if he could do it again. Then, just when Markus thought the breakthrough would come and he would trust him with his vulnerability, his emotion walled off behind a mask, he didn't know any other way. 

He looked down at the puppy and gave it a few scratches before handing it to a shocked Markus. "I'm sorry, I'll leave now." 

Markus wanted him to leave, he didn't need to be told twice. He fucked up all over again, he had been trying to be good for so long. 

And then strong arms are wrapping around him again and he tried to push away. He's fighting to get out, to get away. 

He hit Markus' chest but barely had any strength behind it. He kept hitting and pushing, but it was doing nothing. "Let me go!" He cried out, trying to stand, but Markus pulled him back down and into his lap. Connor had no choice but to fall into him. 

"I'll never let you go. I don't want you to leave." Markus mumbled, pulling him so close their bodies were flush against each other. Connor still fights it but much less, the hits are more like lingering touches and Connor's LED is a solid red. Markus gently strokes his hair and Connor wants to melt into him, he really does. But he can't. He doesn't deserve Markus' comfort. 

"If you really want me to let go, I will... But...."

"Markus, Markus," he keeps saying his name like a prayer because he's so tired of fighting. He thought he wanted him to leave. He thought he fucked everything up again, caused such a huge scene. Just… he's just… tired.

His body goes into an involuntary stasis and falls limp in Markus' arms. He doesn't know what happens next as the soft nothingness consumes him. 

His systems slowly rebooted and he blinked his eyes open. His system had been down for 24 hours exactly, not all too surprising. If it was forced or involuntary it was either 12 or 24 hours until the android woke up. 

The room was large with two windows and a desk. It was mostly bare other than that except for the paintings on the wall and a canvas near one of the windows. 

Beside him in a chair was Markus, slumped to the side, head resting in his hand asleep. He even had the puppy sleeping in his lap. He looked so peaceful and so at home. 

Home. Markus had taken him to his home. Connor knew that when Carl had passed he had given the house to Markus, it was all over the news that Markus was in the man's will even before the revolution. 

Connor slowly sat up, making sure to not wake up Markus. He was kind enough to bring him here, but Connor didn't want to be a burden. 

Of course, Markus wouldn't leave anyone on the street if they did the equivalent of passing out, it was just something he wouldn't do. He'd even help a criminal if they passed out. 

He found a notepad and a pen easily, scribbling down a note and placing it on the bed. 

'Thank you for helping me.'

He did what he had been doing almost all his life. He ran once again. He kept in Detroit but he really needed to stop running into Markus so much. It was doing weird things to his head. Like making him imagine a life where the two can curl up together and drink coffee, Markus playing with Connor's hair and humming softly. The light from the sun would stream in and it would be so wonderful. 

But he couldn't have that. He could never have that. Someone like him deserved to be living the harshest life he could, but even now that wasn't true. He could be suffering more, the right amount, instead he lets himself get away with things like going to cafes or galleries. 

The next time he allowed himself to think of Markus was when he found new art up against the back of a building. It was similar to Markus' style but done in spray paint instead of acrylic or oil. 

But there seemed to be something about it. He scanned over it and his systems alerted him that he had a new image. He pulled it up on his hand and couldn't help the small chuckle. God, it felt weird to laugh even for a second. But it was just like the clues to find Jericho.  

So he followed it, curious as to what it could be leading him to. It was odd that many of the paintings seemed to show up on abandoned buildings where he would sometimes rest in, but dismissed it as a coincidence since there was more art on places he hasn't been in than ones he had. 

When he got close to the final destination he stopped dead in his tracks. It was leading to New Jericho. Of course, it was, Markus probably put these up himself as a way to honor the new Jericho. 

He glanced at the next art and his heart stopped just like at the gallery. Once again it was a painting of him, but this time he looked serene and at peace in a person's arms. He couldn't make out who the person was as their head was turned away and no skin or hair was showing. 

Markus had left this for him. Why did he want Connor back?! Did he plan on locking him up? If that was the case he could have just told Connor and he would have gone willingly. But this… it was so much like the old Jericho signs. 

It was like Markus was trying to show him to safety. That Connor would be safe there, with him. 

Connor would be safe with him, he knew that, but Markus wouldn't be safe with Connor. He had too much blood on his hands and would make a clear target if given the chance. 

So he turned around and left, not following the rest of the paintings even though he wanted to see what they'd look like. He couldn't risk Markus waiting for him at one of them. He knew it wouldn't take much more for Markus to be able to coax him back to New Jericho.

He honestly does try to stop reading every news article about Markus, and he quickly turns away when he walks past a television and sees him there. But when he goes into a convenience store and sees one magazine he buys it. 

He doesn't care about the rest of the articles, he just flips to the one on the front cover. 

'Markus's Secret Lover?'

There was no way he'd cheat on Simon, none. He wasn't the kind of guy to do that. This was why so many of Connor's hopes and fantasies burned at him because they were often romantic in nature. 

He scans over it and then goes over it again more slowly. 

''Simon and I have talked, and we are both open to having another partner. One, in particular, we've talked about, but I'm afraid it won't happen or at least not for a long time.' Markus had said, and everyone in the studio could see the adoration in his eyes.'

What? Who was Markus interested in? Why wouldn't it happen? Anyone would be lucky to have him, Markus was amazing! 

He made a scan and confirmed it was a real interview, one that had gained many people's attention. There, of course, was hate over the fact that the two were not monogamous, but Connor rolled his eyes at those. Honestly, after all this time you'd think people would stop caring if someone was gay, straight, or anything else if it didn't involve them. But no, there would always be the bigots.

''Could you maybe describe this special someone?' The interviewer had asked. 

'Oh, well I'd rather not give his name. He is a bit shy, and honestly, I think he's really scared currently. I tried to show him, you know? Left him clues but he's always running away from everything. Which is understandable, but I just want him to feel safe and loved like he really is. Because there are so many that really do love and miss him.' The whole room seemed to be shocked, filled-' he stopped reading and had to sit down. 

There was no way. This couldn't be real. He looked it up again and saw everyone speculating who it could be. No one guessed him outright, but many suggested whoever it was Markus had painted so much for the gallery. 

Everything seemed to be lining up, but it still made no sense. Why Connor? What had he ever done to make Markus like him? To make anyone like him? 

Or maybe this was just a ploy to get Connor to go to New Jericho. If it was, then it worked. 

He ran the whole way there, not caring who saw him. He had to know if this was real if Markus meant what he said. 

He had to know why, if it was real. How was Markus making him doubt everything he believed in? Connor knew he was a terrible person, but Markus made him feel almost good. 

He didn't stop running until he was standing in front of the large doors of what used to the Cyberlife tower. 

People moved around him, not even glancing his way. Other than the conspiracy theories a very small few people had come up with about his disappearance, no one seemed to remember him. It was like he never existed. Like he was a ghost. 

Then one person catches his eye in the building. "Hank." He mumbled. 

It's almost like the man hears him, but Connor knows that's impossible, but he turns and their eyes lock. Connor can see him mouth Connor's name just like he had and then Connor's pushing through the doors and Hank runs at him. 

Hank engulfs him in a hug and Connor can feel him shaking. "Son." He mumbled, and Connor knows he's crying. 

Connor doesn't hug back, but he doesn't try to pull away either. His eyes are wide, he hadn't ever seen Hank cry, not like this. 

Then Hank grabs his shoulders and pulls back, shaking him gently. "Don't you ever fucking leave again, I can't lose another son." His voice cracks at the last word and Connor doesn't know what to do. 

Lose another… Did Hank think of him as a son? But why? He'd only caused the man trouble and even made the man lose his job because he punched that FBI bitch. 

"I don't… What?" He asked, furrowing his brows. 

"You fucking heard me, don't you dare leave. Where the hell have you been?! You didn't leave a message, just off and disappeared, I thought you were dead but Markus said he could still try to contact you, some connection or whatever. I've been looking for you!" Hank is raising his voice and Connor starts to shake. But Hank thankfully noticed and his voice softened. "You scared me, kid."

"I'm sorry." He whispered, staring down at the ground. "I'm so sorry, I thought… I thought you–everyone–would be better off without me, be safer." He really did but now, fuck. Now he saw how upset everyone was even after all this time. He'd done so much damage without even being there, he had done the damage from not being there.

"No! No, I'm so sorry we made you, fuck, I'm sorry we made you feel that way. I never meant for that to happen, Connor, you have to know none of us wanted you to leave. We've been looking for you this whole time, kid." Hank sighed and pulled him back into a hug, much gentler this time. 

Connor felt him start to cry and he couldn't hold back his own tears. He had missed him so much, he had walked up to Hank's house so many times, hand raised to knock on the door but always backed down. 

He had heard Sumo barking at him and he wanted to just bury his face in his fur and stay there all day. 

Now he's wondering why he hadn't even left a message. Why hadn't he let anyone know he was alive? 

No, he knew why. Because he was better off dead, he wanted to disappear and thought everyone would forget him. But the ones he thought couldn't care less never forgot and always kept looking. 

"Hank, oh god I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, I fucked it all up, I'm so sorry." He cried, clinging to the man. 

"Shhh, it's ok son, you're here now. I'm not gonna let you out of my sight. You'll either stay here or with me, no arguing ok? I'm sure Sumo misses you too." Hank pulls back and reaches up to wipe away Connor's tears. "You ok, kid?"

Connor nodded and hugged him again, not ready to let go, not again. He'd been gone for so long, he missed so much, and now… was he really going to stay? With how Hank was holding him, it didn't seem like he'd have much choice in the matter. Hank would probably start a manhunt himself if Connor disappeared again. 

"Yeah… I don't know. I came to see Markus? But, uh, I'm really happy I think to see you." Even now after so long he still struggled with them and identifying them.

But he was happy, he thinks, to finally see Hank again and talk. 

"Wait, holy shit!" He heard and pulled back, glancing at the voice he knows well too. "It is! You absolute motherfucker!" North shouts, stomping up to him. 

Connor shrinks back and hides slightly behind Hank. He isn't scared of her, but he hated the yelling. She keeps her eyes on him and seems to stall at the look on his face. 

Then tears well up in her own eyes and she breaks into a run, tackling him to the floor. She makes sure to put a hand behind Connor's head so he won't get hurt and wraps her whole body around him. 

Many people are now looking over. Some seem to look shocked once they recognize Connor, others seem just plain confused. It wasn't like many new Connor other than as the deviant hunter or the one who freed the androids from the very tower they were in. 

North held him tightly with her whole body, legs wrapped around him. "You motherfucker, why the hell haven't you come back?" She asked, pulling away, but still sitting on top of him. 

Connor swallowed and stared up at her. Out of everyone he expected North to miss him the least or not even care. She had every reason to hate him, and he thought she did. 

But maybe picking on him had been her way of showing affection. He thought she just was trying to tell him to get lost without outright saying it. "I'm sorry." He was starting to sound like a broken record, but he had no idea what else to say. 

She huffed and shook her head. "Yeah, well Markus is gonna shit bricks. I figured it was you he was talking about but no one wanted to get too hopeful. Now, I'm gonna get off you and we're gonna go see loverboy. Hank, you're coming too." 

"No need to tell me twice, I'm letting him out of my sight," Hank grumbled and Connor smiled just slightly. 

"Wait, Hank why are you here?" Not to mention the fact he still had a gun on him along with a taser and a new weapon that was used to take down androids without doing any extra damage.

"There's a lot to catch you up on, but I help head security here. Helped keep my head on, doing something." North got off and Hank offered a hand, which Connor took. 

He was beyond proud that Hank had found something to do instead of drinking all day. No doubt Jericho needed it, and Hank was especially qualified. Connor wouldn't trust anyone else with Markus's and their–Markus's people. 

North hooked her arm around Connor's and started walking towards the elevator. The whole place was redecorated enough that he could barely recognize it. He even saw a few child models drawing on the walls with what was probably washable markers. He had no doubt Markus encouraged them. 

It might have changed a lot but the moment he stepped in he remembered the feel of the gun going off in his hand and then the scent of fresh human blood being spilled.

He kept telling himself the bullet did it. The bullet killed them. But his brain knows that he pulled the trigger. He's the one that murdered them without even knowing their names. Did they have families they'd never go home to? Kids who waited for their dad to walk through that door one more time? 

He could remember the stench of blood that filled the elevator, how he didn't even pause. He had still been so very machine-like, deviation was a slow process after all. Just because he broke through the code didn't mean he didn't follow his basic programming. 

How long did it take them to clean up the blood? Would there be any traces of it left? He couldn't scan to find out, vision blurry from something. Who had to tell their families they had died. That the person responsible wouldn't go to jail, instead got to walk free. 

"Connor, come back to us." A voice said, and a hand gently took his own. He snatched it back and looked around. 

The blood and bodies were gone and all that was left was North and Hank looking at him worriedly. 

"I'm sorry." He mumbled and gladly left the elevator. He kept his head down as the other two filled out before the elevator was closing and moved back down. 

"Kid, it's ok. Maybe we can take the stairs next time." Hank offers and Connor can only nod. He had noticed Hank seemed to have lost some weight and gained more muscle back. Once again he was flooded with pride and he tried to smile but knew it didn't look right. 

"Ok, so his office is down here. He's talking with Simon and Josh but don't worry, it's not as important." North shrugs and quickly leads them to a pair of closed doors. At least Markus was smart enough not to leave his door opened. 

He had the urge to tell her exactly how unimportant he was but bit his tongue. He literally bit his tongue to keep himself from talking.

He stared at the doors, the other two seem to come to the same conclusion that he should be the one to knock. 

He raised his fist and went to knock, but instead just pressed his hand against the door. Fuck, why was he doing this? After all this time, he should know better. Yet he ached to go in there and kiss… no, not kiss. Simon was there. But hadn't the article said the two were open for this? Ugh! It was all so confusing!

He squeezed his eyes shut, taking in a few deep breaths before exhaling and breathing out. He could do this. He had to do this. 

He knocked twice, far timider than he meant to, but it still rang out in the deathly silence of the hall. 

"Who is it?" Markus called out and Connor's whole body jolted. This was happening. Markus was behind these doors he was going to walk through. He'd no doubt be sitting at a desk, and the room would most certainly have paintings hung up. 

He opened his mouth but no sound seemed to come out. He was gaping like a fish, fist still resting on the door. 

"Uh, is anyone there?" Markus called out again and Connor had to do this. 

"It's me." He tried calling out but his voice was so small and weak, he doubted Markus would hear him. 

Silence hung in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground. He could hear Hank's heartbeat and the soft whirl of North's thirium pump. The silence was the most terrifying part. 

Would Markus reject him? Had he read the situation all wrong? Fuck, he shouldn't have come here. 

Before his thoughts could drag him down again the doors were flung open and Markus stared at him with wide eyes. "Connor." That one word seemed to break Connor into tiny shards. Ones he knew, if pressed hard enough could cut deep. But he couldn't stop himself as he fell into Markus' hug, gasping for air. 

"Why me? Why? I don't, I don't deserve this!" Connor buried his face into Markus' neck. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He kept repeating, his whole body trembling. 

"Shhh, Connor. Hey, it's ok. You've done nothing wrong." Markus squeezed him, pressing a very gentle kiss to Connor's shoulder. 

"No! No, I killed people, Markus I murdered humans and androids, I'm disgusting. I shouldn't be allowed to live, I should be shut down and used for parts." 

He heard a gasp but he didn't know who it was from. The very people he ran away from, all in one room.

Markus pulled back so quickly it made his head spin. Then hands are cupping his face and Connor has to look at Markus. "Never say that. You did what you had to do. I, and everyone else here, missed you, worried about you constantly, want you here, and we love you. We love you, Connor." 

"I don't deserve your love, I never have." He whimpered, tears stinging his eyes. 

Markus frowns and completely pulls away. Good. He finally realized how fucked up Connor was, he realized how much of a bad idea it was to put any trust or affection into him. That he killed people. 

It breaks his heart even more, but that's ok. That's what he gets for everything he's done. Every time he even thought about pulling the trigger. What he had done he could never undo. The guilt was like gasoline in his body. His insides rusted and decayed slowly in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire burnt him out so badly there was nothing left but a shell, an outline of a person. 

Markus held out his hand, his skin receding to expose his chassis. Connor stared at the hand. Why would Markus want to interface with him? How could he trust that he wouldn't infect Markus? 

Connor shook his head, holding his arms to his chest, trying to protect Markus. But he wanted to reach out and take the hand so badly. He wanted to know what an interface with Markus would be like. He wanted to touch Markus again and again, and he wanted to try to do it without his skin. He wanted to be so selfish. 

"Connor, it's ok. You won't hurt me. I just want to show you something that I don't know how to say in words." Markus kept his hand out, not moving closer but not moving away. 

Connor bit the inside of his cheek, his fingers itching to reach forward. Maybe he could do this. Markus wanted him to, he was the one that offered. It would be rude to turn him down, right? 

His hand shook as he slowly reached out and clasped his wrist, accepting the interface. 

He's flooded with memories, Markus' memories. Before the revolution ended, how Markus was intrigued by Connor. Then moments when Markus had managed to get a fleeting look at Connor. He always stopped to stare, but Connor never even glanced his way, always caught up in whatever mission he was on. 

Then it changed to the night they met. How worried Markus was for Connor, not for his own life. Connor could feel how absolutely stunned Markus was at the sight of Connor. How alive he seemed to Markus even then, holding a gun to him. 

The sadness of Jericho being blown up, but there was no anger towards Connor. There was worry when Connor hadn't come out of the water as quickly, then relief when his head popped out of the water. 

It was odd, feeling Markus' emotions. What was odder was all the positive ones directed towards Connor. Markus had thought Connor looked adorable soaking wet but also… Connor knew his face would be flushing blue. Markus was attracted to him. 

He had sought Connor out at the church, making sure he was ok. Connor could feel Markus's want to draw him into a hug and never let go. He wanted to take Connor and his friends and go, protect them at all costs, but he hadn't. He had stayed for his people. 

The absolute terror washing over Markus when Connor suggested his mission to the tower was overwhelming. There was hope, hope that Connor would make it back but also overwhelming grief. 

He wanted Connor to not feel like he had to risk his life to make up for the mistakes he thought he made, or to help his people. Markus didn't want to let him go but knew he had to. 

The memories skipped over until Markus saw Connor walking down the street leading all those androids. Pride bloomed in his chest so strong it knocked the air from Connor's artificial lungs. Pride and love. Markus adored Connor, wanted to keep him safe. He wanted to pull him into a kiss and show the world how much he trusted and cared for the man in front of him. But he didn't, worried Connor hadn't felt the same connection. 

But he had. He had and he showed Markus that in return. He felt it the moment he saw Markus' face on that huge screen. When he lied to Hank about not noticing anything. 

Markus moved on, showing his terror when they couldn't find Connor anywhere. These memories were faster, skimming over the time he was gone. There was so much guilt from Markus, so much yearning to have Connor at least somehow back in his life. It was like a part of his soul was missing. 

Then they found each other, completely on accident. And it clicked. His soul seemed to click back together when he saw Connor when he got to be close to him again. 

Connor couldn't watch anymore, it was just too much. He ended the connection but not the touch. A hand came up and gently cupped Connor's cheek, brushing away the tears there. 

"Do you understand now?" Markus whispered. Connor bit his lip but nodded his head. He hated himself. He really did, fully and completely, but Markus loves him. He loves him so much that he can't bare to lose Connor for good. 

He didn't deserve it, none of this, but he couldn't change Markus's feelings for him. He had tried to change his own but he failed completely. He was in love with Markus. 

"I don't know if I can do this." He whispered, leaning into the touch. God, it felt so good. Connor seemed to fit perfectly into his hand. 

Markus hummed and stepped closer, pressing their foreheads together. "It's ok, we'll be here for you. We'll take it as slow as you need. We'll get you help." 

Help. He knew there were now android therapists. But would it actually work? "I can try." 

"That's all I ask." 

Therapy was hard, as was living in the tower. When Connor had finally confessed to his discomfort there, Markus had invited him to Carl's old house, having left it to Markus. It was huge and Connor had plenty of time to wander around and explore it. 

He found he enjoyed reading and playing the piano. Painting wasn't his thing, but it was nice to watch Markus paint. 

Hank barely let Connor out of his sights, but neither did Josh, Simon, North, or Hank. They were always there for him, reminding him he was loved and wanted. 

It took a year and a half before Connor brought up him and Markus. Simon was there, of course, and Connor was beyond nervous. He still had plenty of self-hate but he also knew others loved him. He may not see himself a certain way but he would not deny that others did and their opinions were just as valid as his own. 

Simon was oddly charming about it all, explaining things that had Connor fumbling over his words to figure out how to ask. Simon would still date Markus, the two did love each other. He wouldn't date Connor unless Connor wanted to, but he also gave full consent and even encouraged the two to get together. 

Even after it was incredibly slow. Connor was touch-starved and didn't know how to initiate anything, but he also flinched away from unexpected touch. Connor hadn't kissed Markus and hadn't gone on any dates. 

It would take a long time until they got there, but eventually, they did. Hank had grown old, having to retire from security, but he was always welcome at New Jericho. The androids had mostly all taken a liking to him. The androids didn't age, not in the human sense. Connor liked still as young as ever, but his processors would eventually slow in the future. 

The first time they slept together, Connor had cried. Not from sadness, but just from everything. He felt so loved and wanted, Markus was so gentle with him too. He didn't know how to deal with all the emotions. But Markus helped him through it, only continuing after Connor gave the ok. 

They didn't sleep together much, but Connor had gotten more and more confident over time. 

It was still Markus who initiated it this time as well. Connor had had a long day, his anxiety and self-hate were strong and so Markus decided to show him just how beautiful he was. 

"Markus, are you sure?" Connor asked, hands going to Markus' exposed chest. His hands splayed there, gently smoothing over the skin. 

Markus pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I am. If you don't like it, we can stop, ok?" 

Connor bit his lip but eventually nodded. Markus plopped onto the ground and Connor straddled him, letting Markus attack his neck with hot kisses. 

His skin burned and he let out a small whine, tilting his head even more. A hand runs through his hair, as the kisses become harder and more urgent. Another hand slides around his waist and pulls him close to Markus. "Fuck! Just like that, yes Markus!" Connor rocked his hips down, hissing at the pleasure that shot up through him. 

Markus groaned and bit down on Connor's shoulder, bucking his hips up in retaliation. "Love how beautiful you sound, baby. I love how you say my name." 

"Markus! Markus, please, I need more!" Connor felt his whole body shudder, his cunt dripping. His neck was so sensitive, and Markus knew exactly what to do to get him going. 

Long fingers danced across his taut abdomen, fingertips brushing lightly over his heated skin, making the hairs on his arms stand up. Connor rolled his hips down and bit his lip, trying to keep his sounds at bay. 

"So beautiful, I want you to see yourself. Is that ok now? Take off all your clothes and watch as I play with you?" Markus pulled Connor's shirt off and Connor nodded his head. He'd do whatever Markus wanted. "That's a good boy, you're so wonderful and amazing." 

Connor whimpered at the praise but let Markus turn him around, pulling off his pants and damp boxers. Markus kissed the bare shoulder, resting his chin atop of it as he traced the soft line of Connor’s artificial abs. 

"Do you see how beautiful you are?" Markus asks, sliding his hand up to circle around Connor's thirium pump. "I want you to say how beautiful you are." 

Connor could barely look at the mirror, if he did he could only look at Markus or his hands. Those beautiful hands that knew just what to do to work him up. He shook his head, closing his eyes. He didn't want to see himself, he didn't deserve to be in Markus's arms. No… no, he did deserve this. Markus loves him and wants this too. 

"Come on baby, open your eyes. Let me see those beautiful brown eyes, you know I love them." Markus purred and Connor's eyes slowly opened. "God, I love you. Do you want me to touch you now?" 

Markus's hand slowly trailed down then skipped over Connor's wet cunt, massaging Connor's open thighs. "Come on baby, talk to me." 

"I-yes, please touch me." He whispered, leaning back against Markus. He's so warm and strong, Connor can feel him taking all of Connor's weight. "Markus, I want you so bad." 

Markus' fingers slid down and slowly rubbed in a circle, putting just enough pressure on him. Connor lets out a choked moan, bucking his hips forward and opening his mouth as he tips his head upwards, giving Markus better access to his neck. 

"Yes! Fuck, yes just like that!" Connor groaned. He bit at his bottom lip, rolling his hips forward against Markus' clever hands. 

"Look at yourself, baby." Markus grins, feeling him twitching beneath his hand, keeping up the harsh movements until Connor looks at the mirror. 

He's spread open for Markus wet slick dripping out of him as Markus worked his fingers over his cunt. Markus was so hot and Connor's body felt like it was on fire. "You look so good, I love you so much, want to feel you inside me. Fuck, you fill me up so well." He babbled, gasping for breath. His toes curled and he grabbed Markus' hips, careful of the connection with his knee. 

"Thank you, but I want you to look at yourself. If you watch yourself then I'll fuck you real good, ok? I'll keep playing with your beautiful cunt while I fuck your little hole." Markus rolls his hips forward and Connor feels his hard leaking dick against his back. 

Connor whimpered and looked at himself. He was… really fucking hot. He looked so good pressed up against Markus, begging for his cock. 

"There we go, you ready for me? Or do you want to play a bit longer?" Markus always made sure Connor was sure, giving him every chance to back out, and now was no different. 

"Yes! Please fuck me, please I need your dick, I need you!" He rolled his hips forward one last time before Markus pulled him up quickly and smoothly sliding him all the way to the hilt. Connor gasped and his back arched as Markus freed a hand to rub his cunt. 

Markus hissed, pressing a kiss to Connor's neck. "You feel so good wrapped around my cock, like you're meant for it. So hot and tight." 

 “Fuck,” Connor breathes. He tries to look back at Markus but Markus turns his head back to the mirror, hand going back to his wet cunt. 

"Eyes front, keep watching yourself," Markus commanded. Connor whined but looked at himself again. 

He's bouncing on Markus' dick, taking him quickly and fully, filling himself up so well. "Ah! God, yes, just like that!" His hips jerked, trying to fuck Markus' hand as well. He was so damn close. So fucking close he just needed a little more. 

"You're such a good boy, so beautiful and panting. Fucking hell, god you make me feel so good, Connor." Markus reached up and flicked Connor's nipple. He matches Connor easily, losing himself in the pleasure of it.

Connor moaned, hips jerking wildly. Fuck, it felt so good. "Watch yourself come, baby, you look so damn pretty all spread out for me." Markus's hand rubbed quickly, and Connor shakes. He clenched around Markus, his back arching away from him. 

He keeps his eyes on the mirror, watching how his face flushed blue as he came. Shocks of pleasure jolted through his body as Markus worked him through it. He couldn't deny how hot they were together. He was pretty, just like Markus said. 

He whined as Markus took a hold of his hips and started pounding up into him. He keeps watching but his eyes stray to Markus's as he feels him tensing. "Connor, fuck!" Markus moaned and Connor clenched around him, taking it all. 

"There we go, baby, fuck yes!" Markus panted against Connor's skin. 

They both had to take a while to cool down before Connor pulled off and cuddled into Markus's lap. "You did so well, baby. I love you so much and you are a good boy." Markus pressed kisses all over Connor's face making him giggle. 

"I love you too. Markus… I do kind of want to talk about Simon? It's nothing bad, I think it's actually good." He hadn't before, but he was curious now. Simon was so sweet and cared about Connor just as much as Markus did. 

"Yeah? Well how about this, we all get some sleep and in the morning we can talk if you're feeling up to it. I want tonight to be all about you." Markus nuzzled into Connor's neck and pressed a gentle kiss there too. 

They often shared a bed altogether, with Markus in the middle. Tonight he knew they planned on putting Connor in the middle and showing as much love and affection as they could. "Yeah, ok. Going into stasis does sound pretty good." He let out a yawn, not even jolting when Markus picked him up. 

"God, I love you more than I know what to do with." Markus gently laid him down on the bed, no doubt letting Simon know he could come in. 

Connor snuggled closer, a small smile on his face. He did deserve a lot of things, a lot of really bad things, but he also deserved this.

#kinktober #kinktober 2020 #rk1000 #dbh rk1000 #rk1000 fic #dbh rk1k #rk1k fic #rk1k dbh #rk1k #dbh markus #detroit markus #markus x connor #connor x markus #markus #markus manfred #RK200 #markus rk200 #dbh rk200 #rk200 x rk800 #rk800 x rk200 #Connor Anderson #rk800 #connor rk800 #RK800 Connor #detroit become human rk800 #rk800connor #dbh connor #dbh fanfic #dbh fandom #dbh fic

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 3 』

· Sept. 27th → Irresistible Force ·

Characters: Karasuno team

Prompts: A. favourite team + B. crossover/AU

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, a teensy bit of angst (because who doesn't love a sad superhero backstory), headcanons, AU, superheroes, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: Again, I love all the teams and didn't want to pick, but life is cruel, so here I am. This is headcanons about my fav team (Karasuno) in an AU (superheroes). I was thinking of a Hero Association, kind of like in 'The Boys'? But less corrupt... Maybe more like in 'One Punch'? I think you get me.

All of my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have NFSW content on my blog if that butters your biscuit. Feel free to check it out! Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~

Karasuno / Superhero Association AU

×

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Powers: nigh invulnerability, super strength, enhanced healing

If he's not the ordinary cop that somehow befriends the heroes I was tempted then he's definitely the leader of the superhero group

Kind of like Superman in the old-school Justice League, just not as OP lol

Looks damn good is spandex those thighs *sweats*

Cape!! so ✨majestic✨

Probably wears dark-ish, neutral colours with a dash of blue

A bit serious. Not the kind of hero to go around making quips all the time, but will make light of his own suffering like Captain America

Takes younger heroes under his wing like the true Dadchi he is

Strong moral compass. Unbreakable

Won't hesitate to lay down his life for others

Who am I kidding. He's basically Captain America with a cape

Poster-boy for the Hero Association

×

☆ Sugawara Koushi ☆

Powers: telekinesis

A soft, pearly aesthetic with his suit, hair and skin. Lots of white and silver

A favourite among the ladies he's just too pretty, damm it T T

Very plucky and adorable

People in the vicinity will literally faint when he goes all serious to concentrate and use his powers

Has a duo move with Daichi where he literally throws him like a missle YEET

Has the most followers on Twitter and TikTok and his fans can be pretty nuts

Has a perfume line named after him and models for the adverts

Will smile like an angel right before bringing a building down on top of you fuck, I find this one really funny

×

☆ Azumane Asahi ☆

Powers: regeneration, enhanced stength

Kind of like Wolverine or Deapool but, like, much, much softer on the inside uwu

Wears green and black

Messed up big time back in the day and dropped off the grid out of guilt some people died :(

Was convinced to come back when his old teammates finally found him again because they needed his help in a crisis

Literally shed tears of relief when heroes and citizens alike welcomed him back instead of hating him mah heart *sniffs*

Can withstand seemingly anything and fully heal within a matter of days

Doesn't know the full extent of his powers himself. How exactly do one test it? 🤔

Still has to psych himself up for a fight, though big softy, really

×

☆ Shimizu Kiyoko ☆

Powers: electrokinesis, flight

Powers like Storm from X-Men, and kicks ass like Wonder Woman

Refuses to wear a revealing suit, but looks bomb af anyway

Kiyoko = absolute queen

One of the most powerful heroes, but doesn't throw her weight around unless she's kicking bady-guy booty

Stella gynamast, and has mastered several martial arts

Can literally throw a guy three times her size, all without any strength powers Tanaka: 👁👄👁

Somehow has perfect hair all the time secret superpower??

Is active on the political stage as a human rights activist, headlining women's rights yes, yes yes

Will strike you with lightning for sexual harassment

Comes up with really good mission plans

Is a soothing balm for Tanaka when he loses it

Black and gold aesthetic✨

Asymmetrical cape! super fashionable

Poster-girl for the Hero Association

☆ Tanaka Ryuunosuke ☆

Powers: fire generation and manipulation

Tanaka brings the heat literally

A bit of a chaotic-good, but what's new there?

Can get out of control if he loses his focus, so his friends have to keep him grounded Kiyoko is a literal angel when that happens

Kiyoko: Sun's getting real low...

Bonus points if you get the reference

Is terrified of hurting innocents if he gets out of control

It rarely happens, but if he loses his self confidence, his powers don't seem to work

Shouts cringy lines at the villains before roasting their asses lmfao

Wears a black and orange flame-retardant suit, and actually looks pretty fine in it 😌👌

Literally head over heels for Kiyoko just imagine it. Biggest hype man

×

☆ Nishinoya Yuu ☆

Powers: animal metamorphosis, enhanced speed

Think Beast Boy from 'Teen Titans', but less green he's more likely to be yellow or orange, lmao

Handy in lots of different situations. Very versatile

Incredibly cheeky and joins in with Tanaka's cheesy jokes and one-liners

Absolute maniac, but the people love him, especially schoolkids lmao

Has his own energy drink flavour, and he's STOKED about it

Yellow and black suit, kind of like his hair

Has a surprisingly large following of fans

Laps up the attention, but it doesn't really go to his head

Quiet and serious when he's on a mission/fighting

☆ Hinata Shouyou ☆

Powers: self replication, super speed, levitation

His powers took a while to properly manifest, which left him feeling isolated as a teen

Was pretty lost until Ukai helped train him

Got into a fight with Kageyama in an alleyway when he first met him MET HIM IN THE STREET, LMAO

Argues with Kageyama a lot at headquarters, but they work together like a dream when taking down bad guys

Has a heart of literal gold precious baby

Is contantly amazed when he helps significantly

Was inspired to become a hero by his idol, the Little Giant and it's his dream to inspire someone else 😭😭

Uses his replication ability to confuse the bad guys ULTIMATE DECOY

Levitates around the room when he's excited like Aang from ATLA, hahaha

Wears an orange, white and yellow suit with little wings on his heels cuuuute

×

☆ Kageyama Tobio ☆

Powers: water/ice generation and manipulation, breathing underwater, superhuman reflexes

I was tempted to give him fire/ice powers like Todoroki, but I didn't want to detract from Tanaka

Has problems focusing his powers, and can be quite turbulent in the heat of battle

Finds it hard to work well with others initially, but really makes an effort

Has hurt people close to him by accident before and never wants to do it again it would tear him apart

Becomes a power duo with Hinata when Ukai helps train them, even though they don't seem to get on well at first

Broody boi on the surface, but a cinnamon roll deep down

Wears a dark blue and deep purple suit that has fins to assist in underwater escapades which are his forte

Freezes Hinata's feet to the floor when he pisses him off or anybody's feet, tbh

Can dodge almost anything because of his reflexes don't ever try to punch him. You'll look stupid

Is surprised by the number of people in his fan club especially the number of women asking to marry him??

×

☆ Tsukishima Kei ☆

Powers: telepathy, superhuman intellect, mind control on weak-willed individuals

Prefers to outwit his enemies rather than getting into a brawl

But his self-designed gadgets and tech help him out if he has to a bit like Tony Stark, wink wonk

Sometimes makes you question if he's really a hero or not Tsukki, please

Doesn't take orders well

Baits villains by insulting them and getting the better of them with his words it's hilarious

Comes up with good plans, but improvises well with whatever he's got

Probably wears suits over his spandex most of the time fancy shmancy

Is prepared to die to protect Yamaguchi waahhh

×

☆ Yamaguchi Tadashi ☆

Powers: invisibility, force fields, teleportation

Susan Storm with added teleportation, lol

Often finds it hard to value his powers because they're not as visually strong and impressive as other people's

Rather than squaring up to a battle, he often has to 'hide' from it by literally going invisible

But he gradually becomes aware of how vital his powers can be, and learns to control them and make them as advantageous as possible

Is a highly important and valued member of the team

Soft bean that gets nervous and throws up before a fight

But he's hella determined and won't back down

Honestly, just wants to protect Tsukki and make him proud PROTECT HIM

×

☆ Yachi Hitoka ☆

Powers: size manipulation

She can shrink and enlarge herself and objects she touches at will, including other people

Sometimes shrinks really small to avoid social situations she doesn't want to be in samez, honey

The clumsiest and least experienced on the team

But she tries her best, gradually getting to grips with her powers

Sometimes uses her powers by accident, like when she's nervous

Once touched a watermelon slice on the refreshment table and accidentally blew it up to the size of a car Hinata, Kageyama and Noya fully dug in with their faces 😭😭

Nearly passed out when Daichi, the literal god of the Hero Association, told her she had great potential

Don't worry, Yams teleported and caught her

☆ Ukai Keishin ☆

Powers: laser vision, metal mimicry

The has-been hero who lost his enthusiasm for hero-ing and retired some years ago

Was really cool back in his hayday. Big hot-shot with a fan club

Has been working as a convenience store attendant to pay the bills and is bored out of his mind but refuses to admit it

Was convinced to get back in the game when he found Hinata and Kageyama fighting, both struggling with their abilities. He broke up the fight and agreed to coach them

Doesn't do much of the flashy hero stuff anymore, but will occasionally get stuck in when he's needed must protecc his children

Is only, like, ten years older than the other heroes, but they treat him like some fossilised sensei out of Natuto, or some shit

Tbf, he has the back problems of one 😭😭

×

☆ Takeda Ittetsu ☆

Powers: power absorption

Transferred from being a hero to hero management after having having issues with the effects of his powers he has a conscience :(

He felt guilty and responsible for permanently taking the powers of others, even if they were criminals

It was like removing a piece of their souls it kind of broke him

These days, he makes sure nobody knows about his powers, so it can't be used against him

He helps in any other way possible

He would only use his powers again in dire circumstances he knows he'll eventually have to

Is generally chipper and good natured, though

If he was ever captured by a villain, they'd probably send him back because he talks too much omg, hahaha

Helps gather info for the team and direct them on missions and in fights

Gives bomb inspirational speeches ✊

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

#imo chan imagines #haikyuuweek2020 #karasuno #haikyuu!! #hq! #headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #sawamura daichi #sugawara koushi #azumane asahi #shimizu kiyoko #tanaka ryuunosuke #nishinoya yuu #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #yachi hitoka #ukai keishin #takeda ittestu

[thechildofstark]

Fuck John Walker (and also some other stuff): A Response To Episode Four

WARNING: some bad language, death mentions, violence mentions, blood mentions, racism, spoilers for for ep 4 of tfatws 

DISCLAMER: I have some Opinions about various characters. These do not extend to the actors, who I’m sure are lovely and should be treated with the dignity, privacy and respect that they deserve. 

“Fuck John Walker” was originally meant to be the subtitle. I decided on it when he screwed up the op for Sam. It got ungraded during the final scene, because nothing else could possibly compare as a necessary title to this post. 

Essentially, some (out of order) thoughts on episode 4:

~*Sam and Bucky, working together*~ (pretend this is a musical jingle)

The contrasting ways that they interacted with the displaced

While the incredibly valid argument can be made that Sam is the least privileged of the group (I’ve made it) it is obvious that he has had the most structured civilian life: approaching the people he comes across openly. Yes, he is polite and calm, but the closest thing to this he has personally come across in the past (that we know of) would be the war vets he worked with and the critical difference is that they wanted to be there. From what I remember of Sam’s groups they didn’t seem to be a sort of mandatory requirement: you came because you chose to. Or at least, you came prepared for the situation. Here, Sam is an outsider and an unwelcome threat. These people are not going to open up to him. 

Bucky is quieter, but still quite straight forward in the way he presents himself. I think he may show a little more care for the environment he is in than Sam but that isn’t saying much. Yes, he has experienced much worse things than Sam but we still see his unfamiliarity with this sort of situation paired with some less than stellar social skills really not working in his favor. 

Look, I love both these 2 to death. But this is not what they know. 

Zemo on the other hand quite likely lived in a place similar to this after his family was murdered. He shows an understanding of how this sort of situation would work, going to children who:

a) wont necessarily peg him as an outsider

b) are bribable

also I think he was genuinely super glad to give those kids that candy and money. He would have been such a good dad. now I have Zemo feels. somebody help me.

The inclusion of the Dora Milaje was incredibly awesome, and not just because I simp for powerful women. Narratively, this was the perfect place for them to join the party and assert their right to apprehend Zemo. 

Bucky speaking Xhosa (i think it was?) is very cool

 I would like to take this moment to formally state that Caption John Walker is a motherfucking asshole. 

It was also really nice to see Sam’s therapist skills, that worked against him earlier really help him here. 

I liked seeing that more human side of Karli, and having her interact with the “enemy” and have serious conversation about what everyone is doing.

Until Captain Insecurity has to destroy the op because he doesn’t trust the people he chose to work with, no one has comms or anything I guess?

Also Walker deferring to Bucky for team decisions over Sam, talking over Sam and acting like he knows better than Sam?

I smell racism in this Chili’s tonight

It was also really interesting to get a more in-depth look at how Zemo views supersoldiers. Nearly all the ones that he has either heard of or interacted with (destroyed) had either volunteered for the serum or were so brainwashed that it didn’t make a difference. These people are a dangerous enemy to be eliminated, alongside people like Dr. Nagel. His entire worldview is focused on their destruction that the idea that one of them could be a normal person is impossible to him. The only exceptions acknowledged are Steve (paragon of saintly virtue) and Bucky. 

And the fact that after his family died and his country devastated he would most likely have fixated on both the Avengers and the “concept” of a superhuman being as something to blame for his loss. His refusal to concede his position to Sam isn’t just arrogance, although that seems to be a part of it, but the fact that he has spent so much time and energy in destroying both the Winter Soldier program and most likely other similar operations, along with the Avengers that this hatred and belief in the danger has most likely become one of his core beliefs. To change this would be to question his vendetta against the Avengers, to question his actions against the Winter Soldier program which he knows was a horrible thing, and to question why he has spent the past seven years in maximum security prison. This isn’t something he is ready to do yet.  

The fact that Bucky is a noted exception is something that stands out to me. Zemo knows that Bucky is a good person, regardless of the serum. 

Bucky is also the only main character (that I can think of) that was injected with the serum against his will. The fact that he didn’t seek it out could quite likely be part of the reason that Zemo doesn’t look down on him for it - it is framed that the sort of person that seeks out that sort of strength/power would be a “supremacist”, someone who would use their abilities to harm and subjugate others.

And while we are at the apartment may I say how funny it is to see Zemo just. Literally being Sam and Bucky’s sugar daddy. He transports them and houses them and makes them fancy tea. It’s possible he’s providing them with clothes. Either way, love it. Cannot wait for the boys to work it out.

Sam and Lemar’s responses to being offered the serum are an interesting juxtaposition to how they view the concept of supersoldiers. They have both experienced hardship and survived war but Sam is the one that has gone up against Gods and monsters and he wants none of that, thank you. 

And Lemar is so comfortable with saying yes because it isn’t actually being offered to him. Walker expresses some hesitation in their discussion because for him, it isn’t hypothetical. This is something real that can and will effect him for the rest of his life and he wants to make the “right decision”.

The return of Erskine’s belief that the serum not only effect the physical but the mental, emotional and (possibly?) spiritual. This isn’t something that’s really been touched on outside of The First Avenger and I liked that it turned up here. But the fact that it was the reason Walker felt comfortable taking the serum? Eww

The Dora Milaje kicking names and taking ass is super awesome. They are so incredibly skilled and have such amazing teamwork and are also super beautiful I love them 

Sam and Bucky just. Watching. Enjoying the show. Absolute kings. 

Zemo being the sneaky little sneak that he is :)

One one hand, Bucky losing his arm in the fight was very awesome. One the other hand, he has a long history of complicated bodily autonomy in relation to that arm so........  Neutral opinion it is then 

Karli, honey, I really want to like you but can you please keep the mans family out of it. Okay?

And another thing that this show made me think about: kids left to fend for themselves after the Blip (uuuurrrggh it hate calling it that. stupid canonical name). I think it’s good that at least some people took it on themselves to take these children in, to give them good lives and families.

The way that Sam has incorporated his wings into his combat style is very cool

Okie dokie can’t avoid it forever lets get this over with. 

LEMAR MY BEAUTIFUL SON NOOOO

those fuckers (the writers i mean)

Side note: did they really have to make the first main character death of the series a Black “sidekick” character? No. No they did not. 

Side side note: I understand that this is a perfectly valid way (ew) to “advance the plot” but I can and will be annoyed about it

And now we really get into the shit. But...........................

As much as I absolutely unequivocally hate John Walker I actually like the thematic parallels of how they did this. All throughout The First Avenger Steve is adamant on how he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he just wants to stand up to the bullies. It’s only after Bucky dies that he says he wants to kill all the Nazis and really get into the horror of it all. The fact that John, who has absolutely been on the edge for the entire episode if not longer, only loses it after Lemar dies?

Because Lemar is arguably meant to be that stand-in for Bucky in the eyes of the public, and they are obviously close friends..........

Just - 

I feel I may have accidentally been slightly nicer than I planned to Walker in this post. I’m not sure how I feel about that. 

But C****** J*** W****** is NOT Captain America. Up until now I’ve been calling him “Fake Cap” in my head and to my family, but he doesn’t even deserve that honor. 

And the blood on the Shield. Dear god that was horrible. 

And the fact that, as it was pointed out in this very episode, this man fully represents everything that is Captain America, to the world. He isn’t only tarnishing his own legacy, he is also destroying Steve’s. And to some extent, Bucky’s. The whole reason that Bucky Barnes is considered a “Superhero” is because, at least in America he is known as “Cap’s Best Friend”. He was marketed that way for over half a century, and after the whole “Winter Solder” thing, goodwill or no, brainwashing or no, this could end very ugly for him. Not to mention that Steve Rogers is most likely to be forgotten to history in favor of this freak. 

And on that note, where the fuck is Steve? This is set only 6 months after Endgame, if he had died we would know. So what the hell is he doing? Because I know he got perpetual brainrot going back in time to be str8 and boring but dear god if the show tries to tell me that he’s just chilling in some senior’s center in Alaska I will actually call bullshit. Steve Rogers would never. Okay this is a whole separate post on my thought on Steve. Watch this space I guess. 

And while we’re all here, Bucky Barnes needs a goddamn boyfriend. I’ve done some thinking, and here is a compiled shortlist: 

Sam

Zemo

De-aged Steve (he would be higher but I’m still mad at him for the whole “vanishing without a word to relive Jim Crow and the Lavender Scare. :/ )

IN THAT ORDER. 

That’s all folks. 

Feel free to send me asks if you want clarification or extra details on anything. 

And finally - 

the thing we all came to see:

FUCK

JOHN 

WALKER

fin

#john walker #steve rogers #captain america #sam wilson #bucky barnes #helmut zemo #zemo #tfatws #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #karli morgenthau #dora milaje #tw blood #tw violence #tw death #cw racism #thats all folks

[peantutbutter]

47 with alfreyco??? (need me that angst)

47. “Who did this to you?”

cw: for aftermath/references to torture. there isn’t any actual torture on screen, but we’ve got some Fakes who are very beat up. and i’m so sorry alfredo, you were the poor whumpee mostly because i wanted to make a metal gear solid joke 

Alfredo is no stranger to pain. He’s been shot, stabbed, electrocuted, and suffered sever burns. And that was all before he ended up joining the Fakes. After spending three weeks as a prisoner of war, he was pretty sure he could take anything a sadistic bastard could throw at him. 

The guys who captured him, Jeremy, and Jack gave him a run for his goddamn money though. He’s cold, hungry, tired, missing a few teeth, and a number of bones all over his body are broken. But he’s more worried about the others than he is himself. He was literally trained to endure shit like this. Jeremy and Jack, tough as they are, weren’t. He just hopes that the others will find them soon. 

He’s slumped against the wall of his concrete cell, desperately trying to keep from passing out. His ribs ache something fierce and his breath is rough and ragged. None of his injuries are life threatening, but he’s going to be out of commission when he gets out of here...if he gets out of here. 

The door swings open, screeching loudly on its hinges. It’s a sound he’s come to associate with asinine questions and bodily harm. A long, humanoid shadow stretches across the rectangle of light pouring into the small room. Alfredo barely has the strength to lift his head, but instinct overcomes all else. He needs to see who his new threat is. 

Only it isn’t a threat at all. He can barely see out of his swollen eyes, but he’d know that silhouette anywhere. Slicked back hair, sharp features, a suit worth more than Alfredo would ever want to spend on something that would only get covered in blood. 

He shoots Trevor a grin, chapped lips splitting open and adding to the steady trickle of blood dripping from his mouth. “’Bout time,” he rasps. 

And then Trevor is right beside him, kneeling. His hands hover like he wants to touch, but is too afraid to. Those dark eyes of his are hard and calculating, categorizing the extent of Alfredo’s injuries. Catalog his surroundings, assess the situation, initiate action. Trevor’s tried and true three step process. 

He initiates, his eyes softening and a wry, but concerned smile plays at his lips. “Kept you waiting, huh?”

Alfredo laughs, and fuck, that’s a bad idea. He immediately cringes in pain as he coughs up more blood. “Yeah, Boss. Sure did.”

Once he’s done spasming, and once he’s spit a disgusting mixture of blood and phlegm onto the floor, he feels fingers tilt his chin up, towards Trevor’s face. It’s soft, almost tender, and he can almost feel the warmth of his hand through those soft leather gloves. Trevor’s mouth is set in a firm line, a dangerous, cold fury burns behind his eyes. “Who did this to you?” he murmurs.

Alfredo lets his head fall back against the wall. “Their leader,” he says. “Bastard isn’t afraid of getting his hands dirty.”

A vein throbs in Trevor’s jaw, and he can see the tension as he clenches his teeth. He takes a long, steadying breath, but his nostrils flare in rage. His lips curl into a cruel sneer. “I am going to destroy him,” he says, and it isn’t a threat. It’s a fucking promise. “I am going to dismantle his empire piece by piece until there’s nothing left and he comes crawling to us on his hands and knees begging for mercy and forgiveness --” he’s cut off by someone coming in on his comms, and really it’s for the best. Once Trevor gets started, there’s no stopping until he’s come to the most gruesome possible conclusion. 

He presses a finger to his ear, and Alfredo can barely make out the tinny voices of his crewmates coming through. “Yeah, I’ve got him. He’s alive and conscious.” A pause. “Alright. We’ll meet you on the south end.” Then he turns back to Alfredo. “Sound’s like Gav and Fiona found Jack, and Michael and Matt have Jeremy. Can you shoot?”

Alfredo tests his shooting arm, flexes his hand. It hurts, but nothing feels broken. “Yeah,” he nods. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Alright,” Trevor says. He reaches into the inside pocket of his overcoat and pulls out a gun. Alfredo’s gun. Mods and all. He must have found the armory while looking for him. “Here.”

Alfredo takes the gun, fingers brushing against Trevor’s gloved ones. A comfortable weight in his grip. He checks the clip, slides it back in, and nods. “Let’s do this.”

With Trevor’s help, Alfredo makes it to his feet. It’s awkward and he’s stumbling as they exit the cell, but he’s got a gun in one hand, and his pissed off Boss keeping him upright. He’s done more with less. 

They must look a sight. Alfredo, painted in his various shades of black and blue, and covered in a mixture of dried and fresh blood. Trevor, in his immaculately tailored suit and billowing overcoat, which is starting to soak up blood. They pass Lindsay as they walk through the doorway. She must have been guarding the hall while Trevor checked each door. “South end?” she asks.

“South end,” Trevor repeats. 

She nods, and then gives Alfredo a smile. “Good to have you back, Sauceman,” she says. And then she’s turning around and lifting her gun, scouting ahead. 

They shoot their way out of the warehouse. Bodies hit the ground with satisfying thuds. Injured and in pain as he is, Alfredo is still a better shot than Trevor is. Some things never change. They reunite with the others, and Jack and Jeremy are looking rough, but they’re alive and really, that’s all that matters. Michael had planted sticky bombs as he went, and once they’re at a safe enough distance, the place blows sky high.

The leader must have run, taken off with his tail between his legs when he realized the Fakes were staging a rescue. Trevor is still seething beside Alfredo. His eyes are gleaming and wild, and Alfredo knows that look. He’s scheming, plotting exactly how he’s going to find this guy and strip him of everything he holds dear. He won’t rest until he does.

Alfredo’s free hand slips down Trevor’s arm to twine their fingers together. He gives his hand a gentle squeeze. Trevor’s eyes snap to his, the startled expression fading to relief. Tension seeps from his shoulders and he sighs. 

“We’ll get him,” Alfredo says. “We’ll get him.”

#couldn't resist the metal gear solid joke i just had to #fahc #fake ah crew #ragehappy #alfreyco #rexie writes #this got long i'm sorry #i hope you like it anon #Anonymous

[koishua]

I am not great at theorizing but I would love to hear about your favorite characters from atla!

oh my, i am SO down for this. let me take a look, okay

i wont rank them or anything bc i love them all, but my top five would be uncle iroh, sokka, toph, suki, and azula.

UNCLE IROH. is the story's source of lesson and of wisdom. he is such an icon and he is loved by all istg he is the best man ever i love him so much i wish i was related to him as a niece like zuko or something. he truly is so wise and kind against all.

he is one of a kind, he was such a gem and held a strong view of what was wrong and what was right. i think people underestimate how great of a bender he is, tho. he was a member of the order of the lotus (eyyy the oldies but goldies gang basically lmao) aka the strongest people ever hello?? he represented the fire nation in that group and my GOd is he an amazing one.

he is different from most, because unlike other firebenders, his skills and abilities aren't directly derived from anger and fury. that's why he isn't as hot headed as regular firebenders and even teaches zuko about this (which works bc zuko is considerably calmer later in the series)

and then there is his legacy. mans beat an entire dragon in a battle of flames?? he breathes fire too so that's always the coolest thing ever and his diligence while working himself back to prepare for war in that prison absolutely took me out omg the way he strategizes??? explains why he was a general. he has a heart of gold unlike any.

SOKKA. now for him, i have the biggest amount of respect and adoration for. let's adress the elephant in the room here. he singlehandedly devised a ginormous plan to defeat am empire that has been raising tyranny for over a century. how fucking awsome can one get?? mr sexy brain amirite?

plus, he was completely skilless the first part of the series and his entire growth just blows me away every single time. sure, he had his little boomerang but that was it. after they created gaang tho, his potential was so fully exploited i cant even express how proud i am oml he was diamond in the rough.

he acted so brash and was the comedic relief character a lot of the times, so his subtle feats of intelligence didn't get noticed a lot, but oml the way i am down bad for him. his determination and desperation to become god at a skill is so enjoyable to watch like,,, the piandao episode where he learns how to wield a sword is one of my favorite episodes of all time!! anyways, this is getting alittle long so lets move on to....

TOPH BEIFONG. listen. lis-ten. thats my girl right there. i was eight when i first watched atla and she was twelve and the amount of confidence she instilled in little-me is just- *sobs* (also i realized that she is literlly the only character in this with an official lastname lmfao)

toph is forever going to remain as THAT icon. her mindset is as stable and stubborn as they go because of her earthbending lmao i love how self-assured she is. she is the definition of born into riches, growing to become greatness.

her heritage is not at all important to who she is as a character and most people even forget that she is insanely wealthy because she never mentions it. but anyway that is beside my point idk why i touched on this aspect. moving on!!

i feel like they portrayed her childish nature so well in this series like?? sure, she was the greatest earthbender of all time and still is, she was also a twelve year old tween lmao she was something else istg

and her sass, humor and just her entire attitude was so solid oml she was THAT bitch and i mean it in the most awed way possible. i can talk about her more but imma keep it short for this post's sake.

SUKI. my idol right here y'all. this is my og feminist queen right here. badass woman i love her so much. embodies courage, hard work and strength in oneself. man, kyoshi warriors are super awesome i literlly do not have any other words about her other than "woah"

obviously, she couldnt bend at all but growing up on kyoshi island, one made by avatar kyoshi herself by literally parting an entire section of land away to carry them back to make an island by spouting out lava hundreds of miles down the ocean floor is just???? but we aren't here to talk about the blood-thirsty woman rn-

she learned how to deal damage on benders who dared to attack their homeland and she is just- just- idk ugh she is so gorgeous too like?? forget about sokka please, come marry me instead i beg you ;-;

suki is so quick to react to danger and doesn't wait for anyone to save the day. she knows what she can do and she does her best to help ;-; im thinking about that once moment when toph fell into the ocean and suki was the first one to dive right in their to save her while everyone else was just literally standing there lmao even katara who could literally bend water

AZULA. now, this is where shit goes down. i lover her as a character that has been developed to show what a bad childhood environment could lead to in children who are particularly cunning and born a little sharper than others.

azula was a threat to all at the age of fifteen. fif-teen. she was a mastermind in countless incredible plans that overtake populations and she is so incredible quick-witted. perfectly evil for the sake of being evil, but also not at the same time.

the azula we last see in the agni kai between her and zuko, her own bilogical older brother whom she had tormented pretty much their entire life, was the product of accumulated trauma and pressure that she had been subject to ever since she had learned bending fire. blue fire.

she had shown from the start that she was gifted and strong and was on a league of her own compared to other kids. all of her childhood was spent garnering the approval of her father and grandfather who were toxic and evil and bad role models for her. anyone who grows up in bad environments are guaranteed to turn out messed up.

her mother preferred the softer zuko than her sadistic daughter and not receiving her mother's affection enough really showed its consequences in the last few episodes where you get to see her breaking down. she hallucinates about her mother and it was so heartbreaking to watch for me as a seventeen year old. i didn't really get the extent of her pschotic breakdown as an eight year old.

for heaven's sake, she was a devil. idk my thought are so scattered rn but i feel like i can make a post about her complicated character later when i gather my thoughts properly bahaha

tldr for azula: gifted child gone horribly wrong

anyhow, this was super fun omg

#“(?)” ⸻ letters from friend. #feyre × 🍂