#to the point where shes intelligent enough to communicate with zelda

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Cozy Christmas Season Comfort! BotW Edition

Two for one! :D

Parts of the Great Plateau were always cold due to the higher elevations, but at this time of the year the entire plateau was blanketed in snow. The white, cold carpet muffled the sounds of hundreds of feet as people flocked to the Temple of Time for the ceremony.

Link took his place in the front pew, flanked on the other side of the temple by the captain of the guard. Princess Zelda stood in the front facing the statue of Hylia as she led the group through the ceremony. As everyone prayed, Link kept his eyes sharp for any danger. He'd save prayer for later when the princess wasn't in such a vulnerable position.

When the ceremony ended, he walked two steps behind her as she exited, his eyes landing on a few familiar faces before returning to scanning the area for threats. He felt a little torn, caught between his duty, his anxiety of being so publicly displayed in front of the people of Hyrule, and his desire to run towards the familiar faces in the pews.

Once they were outside, the princess headed towards the garden where one of the mysterious shrines sat surrounded by stone walls. They entered the maze alone, and Zelda sighed, sitting on a bench after dusting off the snow.

"Do..." she started softly, her voice trembling a little. "Do you really think Hylia's listening?"

Link's heart ached at the question, but he honestly had no idea what to say. Stringing words together in any kind of intelligent way had never been his strength. He had such little self esteem in his ability to communicate properly, it was one of the reasons he chose not to speak while under so much scrutiny.

But he felt compelled to say something.

Unstrapping the Master Sword off his back, he slowly sat beside the princess, keeping a respectful distance at first until she curled in on herself. He was tempted to scoot closer and offer physical comfort, but he was already breaking enough protocol just sitting beside her.

"I think..." he said quietly, staring at the dull grey sky, heavy with snow yet to come. "I think sometimes she answers in ways we don't expect."

"Maybe the Calamity will never come," Zelda supposed. "And that's why I can't access my powers. Because I just don't need them."

Link didn't bother to argue that literally everything pointed against that statement. Instead, he took a steadying breath and said, "No matter what the goddess has in mind, I am your protector, Your Highness. I'll be there for you."

Zelda's rosy cheeks rounded as she smiled at him.

The sound of footsteps caught Link's attention, and he rose quickly, the moment gone. The captain of the guard entered the pathway, bowing to the princess.

"Your Highness, His Majesty is gathering the entourage at the banquet area in Gatepost Town. He requests your presence when you are available."

Zelda rose, regaining her composure and nodding. "Of course. I'll be there shortly, thank you."

The captain bowed again, his eyes locking with Link briefly as the two exchanged a subtle nod of acknowledgement. Then he walked away, giving them privacy. Zelda stepped forward to exit the garden and then paused, glancing at Link. "Thank you, Link. I'm glad I have you."

Link relaxed a little at the words, warmed to the core, and he smiled. The princess continued onward, and he followed two steps behind her, as always.

.

Hateno Village was practically bursting with energy. Children ran to and fro, parents laughing at them and speaking with each other as shopkeepers yelled to get everyone's attention. The festival was in full swing, and everyone was filled with cheer.

Link pointed to another store, Zelda dragged along by his strong hold on her hand. "And this is the dye shop, you wouldn't believe the colors he can come up with. It was great for getting rid of those pesky stains that I--"

Link cut himself off, realizing he was about to admit that he might have accidentally messed up his champion's tunic a little. Zelda didn't seem to catch it, too enamored by everything around her.

"Hyrule kept going, despite everything," she whispered, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Of course it did," Link assured her with a gentle smile, and then hew as momentarily distracted as one of the children waved at him cheerily. He waved back, giggling. When he looked back at Zelda, she was watching him with a strange expression that he couldn't quite read. "What?"

"It's just... you're so much more..." Zelda struggled to find the right words, and then she shook her head. "Never mind."

Link felt his heart clench a little. Zelda was expecting a different Champion from the one she got, he imagined. He wished he could be the person she wanted him to be, but at the same time...

Well. That wasn't something he was going to think about right now.

Biting his lip, he asked, "Do you want to see more of the shops?"

Zelda beamed. "I'd love to."

The pair ran around Hateno the entire afternoon, both gasping in delight as snow flurries started to fall closer to dusk. They made their way to the small statue of Hylia in town and said silent prayers together.

"I suppose you're right," Zelda said abruptly as Link took a small step from the statue to indicate he was finished. "The goddess does answer in ways we don't expect."

Link stared at her, confused. "What?"

Zelda gazed off in the distance, her smile turning wistful and nostalgic. Then she looked at him, and the pure happiness in her eyes made her entire face glow. "I'm glad I have you with me, Link."

The confusion melted into a warm companionship between the two, and Link chuckled gently, relieved to see her smile. "I'll always be here for you, Zelda."

Reaching out his hand, Zelda took it and the two walked side by side to the square to rejoin the festivities.

#yes the captain of the guard is link's dad #no they didn't get to interact because duty came first for both of them #yes it hurt my heart to not write an interaction between them #but it also messed with the flow so between that and not finding an actual reason that they would break character I had to leave them be #I imagine that since the champions were leaders of their own people they'd be at their own festivities so that's why they weren't there #breath of the wild #botw #breath of the wild link #botw link #breath of the wild zelda #botw zelda #legend of zelda #writing

[botwstoriesandsuch]

An Enjoyable Evening Part 3 of 3 The Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild Revali x Reader

Hello! This is actually my first time requesting on Tumblr May I request a Revali x Reader? I really liked the last one you did and I was wondering if you could do a continuation of that oneshot. I'm curious of how the party will turn out. Will the other Champions be suprised that Revali bought a "date?" :0 

Here’s the final part to the series! Sorry if the ending is rushed, enjoy!

Also yes, this was reposted, because I was trying to edit a typo on my phone and I accidentally deleted the entire thing...good job me!

It was around 9pm when the two of you landed at the castle grounds. The towering stone walls of the castle were in stark contrast with the tranquil view of nature you had witnessed in the sky not an hour earlier. Revali was leading you through a stone path. Ahead you could see a silver gazebo, with cream colored lanterns illuminated the surroundings, basking nobles and servants alike with light. Figures of blue, gold, black, and red drifted and danced through grass. While most seemed to be Hylian, there were also Zora, Sheikah, and other races in the mix. The night air was now cool, winds only strong enough to barely sway the lanterns. You walked behind the Rito as a guard approached the two of you.

“Ah, Master Revali. We thank you for your presence tonight.” He gave a polite bow. His deep blue outfit, adorned with silver trimming and gold tassels, gave an aura of authority.  “The Princess and the other Champions are here, shall I show you to them?”

“No, I don’t need an escort, thank you. I have the gift of sight so I’m sure I’ll manage fine.”

“Alright then, how about you lover here?”

“My wha-”

You both suddenly tensed. Revali’s feathers poofed up. You shuffled to the side and put some distance between you and Revali. The two of you started speaking rapidly over each other.

“Oh no, he’s not my— ”

“Uh, no. That’s not. they didn’t actually want to be here—”

“He’s incredibly annoying, and we hate each oth—” 

“I mean, me, with a Hylian, *cough* obviously I w—”

“Well I don’t hate him, I’m just not, er—”

“Who would surround themselves with such a rude, and intelligent, b-but mostly rude—”

“—um, the point it”

“We’re just friends.” You both finally sputtered out in unison. When you went to look at Revali, your eyes met, and you both quickly turned away. Your cheeks were on fire. WHY? Why were they on fire???? The guard stood there with a raised eyebrow, staring at you both blankly.

“…OK then.” An awkward silence. “So, do you want me to—”

“We’ll just be on our way then!”

Revali quickly grabbed your hand before pulling you away towards the courtyard. You moved past the guard with steps, wanting to leave behind the embarrassing scene as fast as possible. Thankfully, it didn’t take long to take your mind off it as when you approached the rest of the party, delicious smells filling the air. 

You stopped in your tracks, taking in the full picture. Tables were lined up on the side, cloaked in white cloth. On them, sat plates and plates and plates of food, more than you had ever seen in your life! There was meat and sauce and fish and steamed vegetables. Cakes and sweets and stews and rice. And in the center of it all sat a tower of exotic fruits, filled to the brim with apples, berries, hydromelons, bananas, and palm fruit. Sweet and savory aromas filled the air, not clashing, but blending into indescribable sensations that allowed you to taste everything before you could even touch it. 

You then noticed Revali staring, how long had he been observing you?.

“What?”

“Why are you smiling so much? I thought the sight of such a large gathering might intimidate you.”

“Oh it does, but the food! Can you smell all that?? The food! It smells so good here…”

“Yes, well you see at parties, typically people attempt to enjoy themselves by eating edible foods, rather than five-day-old honeyed candies that you store away in a desk for when you stay up all night.”

You ignored his comment. “I’m going to the buffet.”

“Woah-woah, wait. We had a deal didn’t we? I’m sure you’ll still have ti—”

“A-shh-shh-shh-shh-shh!” You held a finger up to his face. “Hold your beak giant cucco, it’ll be just for a minute. I’ll come back if some boring noble attempts to bend your ear. Besides,” You gestured towards a Goron, Gerudo, and Zora, all adorned with bright blue garments. They were looking at Revali with curious expressions, seemingly wanting to approach . “It seems there are people here who have made the mistake of wanting to talk with you. I wouldn’t want to intrude on such a rare occurrence.”

Before he had a chance to object, you raced off towards the buffet.

… . .

“So, who was that?”

Revali sighed. “Just some scientist that desperately wanted to attend this event. So I did them a favor, considering I am known for my boundless generosity. It really doesn’t concern you, Urbosa.” 

“OH-HO! You have a DATE, Revali?!?” Daruk slapped him across the back, playfully. Revali stumbled forward, nearly tripping over himself.

“AGH! Would you— ugh, first off,” he turned to face Urbosa, Daruk, and Mipha, “their name is [Name], and as I just stated, they’re not a date. If anything, we’re enemies, I don’t like them, we hate each other.” Mipha tilted her head askew. Urbosa cocked an eyebrow. “Secondly, [she’s/he’s] incredibly boring. Don’t bother asking them questions about me, or them, or how they got here, or how we met, anything that might cause unnecessary embarrassment between the two of you. As I said, they’re not that interesting, so I’ll be taking the burden of speaking with them throughout the night. Understand?

“Thirdly,” Revali glared at Daruk, “I would appreciate it if you didn’t bellow out things like that in the future. I’m sure [Name] wouldn’t appreciate you acting out so brashly during the night.”

“Aw,” Urbosa cooed, “Is Revali afraid we’ll scare away his date?”

Daruk gave out a mighty laugh, accompanied by Mipha’s giggling. Revali then shot daggers at Urbosa.

“Ha-ha. Very funny.”

“Yes I know, that’s why we laughed.” Urbosa gave out a smirk. Mipha started to snicker.

“Look little Rito,” Daruk moved closer, attempting to give a more gentle pat on his back. “I’m sure your buddy there is really great.”

“Did you say, little?”

“It’s nice to see you making new friends! Better than you being cooped up at the flight range every day, right? None of us are judging you here, we’re happy for you! I’m sure [Name] is a great, poised, confident, and respectable Hylian.”

CRASH!

The four Champions, along with the other startled guests, suddenly turned towards the buffet table where the noise originated from. The once towering fruit pile now sat collapsed in the dirt. The table it rested on was now a mess of colorful juices and littered utensils. Beside the scene, stood you, arms full of exotic fruits. Revali sighed, then chuckled to himself.

“Well, you never fail to make things more interesting, huh?”

He stared at the scene as he watched servants come rushing in to attend to the situation. “Definitely more exciting than spending anymore time praising that pesky knight.”  After a moment, Revali turned back to the others. His eyes narrowed.

“Where is Link anyway?”

… . .

You were shuffling between the servants, desperately trying to apologize for the mess you made.

“I am so, so sorry! I was just trying to move a random durian, and the whole thing just fell, I’m so sorry. The structure of the tower was off anyway, maybe you should add a frame behind it or something…without any infrastructure it was bound to fall sooner or later, it’s as tall as a Vah Naboris…n-not that I’m trying to blame this on you! It’s my fault, obviously, just, you know, it could have been prevented if the fancy lords and ladies put a bit more effort into public safety rather than grandiose gestures…but again, I’m really, really sorry.”

The servant waved you off bluntly, as if to say “it’s fine.” You attempted to spout out more words, in your ever expanding internal conflict of apologizing sincerely, but not sucking up to the noble guests who were eyeing you with distaste. However, you comically slipped on a banana peel.

“Wha—OH SH-”

The world tilted, as just as you were sure you were able to eat dirt, someone caught you. You staggered onto your feet and turned around.

“That was close. Thank you so much…” your eyes suddenly widened, “Master Link?”

Link shook his head and waved his arms. It’s not a problem, he seemed to say. You stood there blankly. You had heard about the Champion Link. Supposedly he rarely spoke, only in instances when it was necessary, or if he couldn’t communicate with his body language. He was wearing his bright blue tunic, the same shade as Revali’s scarf, and it was outlined with pearl white designs, spiraling down his chest in the shape of the Master Sword.

He then started moving his hands, around. His fingers danced through the air, leaving you a bit confused, before it hit you. Oh! He’s using Hylian sign-language. Really committed to keeping silent, then. You asked him to repeat the motions before you understood.

Can you understand?

“Yeah, I learned Hylian sign in college.”

That’s good. Not many know it now-a-days. Are you all right?

“Nearly fell flat on my butt, but I’m fine now, thanks to you.”

Is your name [Name]?

“…yes, how did you know?”

Revali used to talk about you a lot.

You gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Oh really? That’s…nice.” You moved your fingers through your hair in an attempt to give your hands something to do. “Master Link is rather blunt, isn’t he?” You thought.

You know, in Rito culture, they typically trade their feathers to show affection. 

“What?”

“AH! Would you look who it is, the knight of the hour!”

Revali appeared behind you, but was looking at Link with a stern expression. 

“Happy anniversary of pulling out the Master Sword. I hope you’re enjoying yourself, considering the King and Princess insisted on celebrating with all the useless pomp and grandeur, we could muster.” 

Link just started blankly. Then, after a moment he just gave a thumbs-up.

“Well, there’s no need to irk [Name] or I with your presence any longer. I’m sure there are a variety of other guests that would trip over themselves for a word or two with you. No point in talking any further with [Name], so why don’t you start intruding on the other guests’ conversations.”

The knight looked between the two of you, still standing quietly, a confused expression just barely creeping onto his face. Then, he snuck a quick smirk your way, whatever that meant.

“Flap to it then!”

Link moved his shoulders up and down, shrugging. He waved to you before moving back towards the crowds. You glanced at Revali. 

“The hell was that?”

“Come with me, I’ll help get you cleaned up.”

… . .

You stood in the gazebo, its marble structure glistening around you, as if it brought the stars themselves down to sit on the grass. 

“And here I thought I was special”

“What?”

“Back there with Link? Well, it’s nice to know I’m not the only person in your life that you’re so rude too.”

He scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself, you’re the one who startled the guests and tainted the party’s entire mood by wreaking havoc on these innocent fruits.” He picked off a piece of apple out of your hair. “Now your whole look is ruined.”

You shrugged. “Can’t go anywhere but up from here, right? Look on the bright side, the conversation tonight might start focusing on the clumsy, idiot scientist rather than the ‘little knight’ or the other Champions.” 

Revali shook his head, a typical smirk on his face. “Shut up so I can actually make you look presentable. Here.”

He took something out of the pouch by his side. A cleaned, silver quill, more specifically, your quill. Before you had the chance to question him. He plucked a few of the loose feathers on his wing. He then wrapped them around the quill and presented it to you.

“Deep, navy blue, like a setting starry sky, pairs well with the silver, no?”

“Right. And I should care…because?”

He sighed. “Well, a crimson tunic wouldn’t be my first choice of pairing,” Revali set the weave of feathers behind your ear and through your hair, “but it looks good enough on you.”

You brushed the feathers behind your ear. They were soft, the edges bending ever so slightly in the calm breeze. Suddenly, the realization hit you as you remembered Link’s words, or hand gestures. Immediately, your face suddenly became flustered, cheeks starting to pink from blushing.

“Uh, so Revali?”

“Yes?”

“About my quills, uh,” your voice was resigned, almost meek, “my quills, they’re probably the closest thing I have to feathers, right?”

“Well, I suppose—”

“Kinda funny how we’ve been trading them around, huh?”

Now it was Revali’s turn to get flustered. His feathers were poofing up, once again. The gazebo was silent was silent for a few moments as you both looked into each other’s eyes.

“So, you know? When did you find out about the tradition?”

“Like 15 minutes ago.”

“Huh.”

The air was still once more. For an eternity, you watched the sky. The same sky that Revali had flown through, as he showed off his grand entrances and moves, the same sky that you had seen as as you drifted above the world. And now, it was the same sky, that you both looked at together. At just the right angle, you could look past the stone walls and gaze at the fields of Hyrule. Looking towards the eastern most part, you could see crimson hues just starting to rise. It was late, or perhaps it was very early? It didn’t matter, because despite this, the stars continued to wink in the west. They were perched on a canopy of ink, strokes of indigo were painted underneath as the stars glistened above both you and Revali’s reach. Finally, he broke the silence.

“[Name],” Revali stood up, pacing around the gazebo, “look, I think you’re incredibly smart and sharp tongued and attractive and charming, and an all around brilliant person. Sometimes, I’d be annoyed by you’re stupidly blunt comments, and other times I can’t get enough of our idiotic banter. For the longest time, I couldn’t fathom why I was always looking forward to our next meeting. It took me a humiliating amount of time to come to the simple conclusion that…I enjoyed spending time with you.” He paused and turned his head back at you. “And I want to do it more often…”

You sat there, smiling. Look at feather face over here, pouring his heart out. You couldn’t hide the blushing on your cheeks. Your fingers continued to graze the feathers in your hair. However, Revali seemed to take your silence the wrong way

“U-unless of course you don’t feel the same way!” Revali started sputtering out nonsense. “Wait, wait, this was a joke! My acting skills are quite convincing, I know. Obviously, you prefer to keep stay friends, right? I mean, platonic friendships are just as strong. Anyone would be lucky to simple be good friends with me anyway, It—”

“Ok, now’s the part where you shut up.”

“—and I would, wait what?”

You got up, and pecked a kiss on the tip of Revali’s beak.

“I said, now’s the part where you shut up”

#botw #loz botw #breath of the wild #revali #revali botw #revali x reader #x reader #urbosa botw #urbosa #daruk botw #botw daruk #mipha botw #mipha #link botw #link #zelda

[rae-gar-targaryen]

how would u cast your mutuals as sw/pedro characters? ur gorg btw

First of all, THANK YOU for the compliment. You are VERY sweet. 

I am honored to be the recipient of this PARTICULAR ask because I’ve seen other blogs in the Pedro corner of this hellsite get similar asks, and I never thought I’d get to be part of it. I don’t consider myself a particularly loud voice in our little corner, so this really is appreciated. 

Before I get started, I want to say that I in NO WAY intend to leave ANYONE out. I do not intentionally or knowingly exclude anyone, nor would I.  It's probably just as simple as we haven’t talked as much and I don’t want to miscast. f we’re mutuals, and you want to know which Pedro I think you are, PLEASE send me an ask. This is meant to be fun and not exclusionary. I love each and every one of you SO MUCH. 

Let’s do it:

1. @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa​ is OBERYN. Could it BE anyone else?? Katryn and I first bonded over Oberyn, and her depth of knowledge and understanding of the character (as well as Ellaria) really just proves the point-- Oberyn is full of depth and passion. He writes poetry, for god’s sake. He’s creative, as Katryn is creative. He cares about his family and his children above all else and is compassionate. Katryn has that compassion with her life and with her job. Also, snarky bisexual powerhouses for the WIN. Katryn is Oberyn. 

2. @rzrcrst​ is EZRA. She said it herself the other day-- she and Ezra are SO similar. I agree. The depth of feeling with which Kenzie communicates is on par, if not greater, than that of Ezra’s. They are both wordsmiths through and through, avid readers, appreciators of nature. Not to mention, they are both caregivers. Kenzie is a mother, and Ezra is paternal with Cee. Ezra is passionate, intense, well-spoken, and beautiful. That’s Kenzie to a “T.” Kenzie is Ezra. 

3. @qveenbvtch​ can she BE anyone else BUT JAVIER? Eryn is cunning, resourceful, hilarious, and outspoken. She is Javier. Where Javier has a strong profile, Eryn’s cheekbones could CUT GLASS. Javier has vintage flair with his style (hello, 80s), and so does Eryn. She always looks AMAZING. Eryn is one of THE most quick-witted people I have had the pleasure of befriending on here. Javier’s job is one where you have to be quick on your feet. Also, I think both Eryn and Javier have excellent taste in booze and aesthetics. Eryn is Javier. 

4. @zeldasayer​ -- Don’t take this the wrong way, and LET ME FINISH. But ZELDA is MAXWELL LORD. Even though the movie hasn’t come out yet, our corner of the fandom has painted Max as someone who strives for greatness, who appreciates the finer things in life, who has excellent taste, and is intellectually ruthless. That’s ZELDA. She has amazing taste, aesthetically and otherwise. She is clearly the type of person to demand and achieve excellence. She has a dreamy quality that I feel like Maxwell would value. She has a rapier wit. Not to mention, Maxwell in the comics? He’s POWERFUL. He has the powers of persuasion. Zelda has a powerful presence, is well-spoken and has a MAGNETISM that I think we’ve all recognized in Max. 

5. @forever-rogue​ is FRANKIE. Patricia has a beautiful soul, a creative streak, and an amazing mind. She is Frankie. Catfish has to be tactically brilliant to have his job, and he needs to be technically savvy. Patricia is a doer that way-- she's an amazing contributor within this fandom, her stories are dreamy and beautiful. She is someone who will be there when you need her (we’ve reminisced about being in the same field and the challenges that has) and she is never at a loss for a kind word, all while being tough as hell. Patricia is Frankie. 

6. @winters-buck​ is Max Phillips. Hear me OUT---- Ash is bitingly clever and witty. Ash can talk you into any one of her ideas, which she will bounce off of you at ALL HOURS. She is a nonstop source of fun and energy (not in the obnoxious way that salesman Max is), rather the bright side of that trait. Ash is endlessly kind and driven in a way that I feel like Max would appreciate. She is hot as hell with good hair and a wickedly sharp mind. Ash is Max. 

7. @cosmicbug379​ is Marcus Pike. Kylie has a sweet and friendly quality that I think is 100 percent PURE Marcus. Kylie is creative, thoughtful, hilarious, and kind. Marcus is the kind of man who values people’s genuine character, to feel genuine love. That’s Kylie. Have you READ her writing? She writes beautiful Faramir, an empathetic and underappreciated character. It’s that level of empathy, attention to detail, and beautiful loquaciousness that makes me think that Kylie is Marcus.  

8. @mythologicalmango​ I know she’s not really into the Pedro stuff as much, but she puts up with all of my shitposting. And when I think of Rachel, I think of DIN DJARIN aka The Mandalorian. Din is strong, unafraid of adversity, but unfailingly kind. That’s Rachel. Rachel faced down a daunting move this year like it was no big deal. She jumps into adventure, is a lover of reading and learning, and has a strong compassionate streak and a sense of justice. Rachel loves a good Victorian romance, and Din Djarin barely lets a sliver of wrist show. That’s why Rachel is Din Djarin. 

9. @californiakoenig Grace is AGENT WHISKEY. Now, not the canon asswipe who sells out at the end. I’m talking about the smooth, beautiful human who loves the people he cares about deeply and looks amazing while kicking mad ass. Grace is an amazing writer who is endlessly supportive. The side of Jack that we get in Kingsman who is driven, cares about people enough to get into a job where he saves lives, and is capable of deep compassion is why I believe Grace is Whiskey. Anyone who’s read her writing knows she’s amazingly intelligent and compassionate-- just like Jack. (Although Javier would also work for her).

If I can also throw STAR WARS Characters in here:

@mpanighetti​ is CASSIAN ANDOR. He knows why. 

@atwentywhore​ is POE DAMERON-- adventurous, unafraid, beautiful. 

@mount--cleverest​ is CAPTAIN PHASMA. A badass, blonde bombshell.

@andallthatmishigas PRINCESS LEIA. WHO ELSE?? A paragon who was born to lead and look beautiful while doing it. 

@nappingtopknot is Boba Fett, a hot badass who kicks ass. 

AND NONE FOR DAVE YORK, GOODBYE!

#ask game #mutuals as pedro characters #sorry if this is so off #i'm tired but i wanted to do this #because it was fun #i hope i didn't offend anyone #love you all #rachel answers #pedro pascal

[magaprima]

The whole two faces, two sides of the same coin, twin mythology thing is obviously going to be explored via Sabrina in Part 4, since we now have Spellman and Morningstar. But, may I put to you that Lilith and Mary are already a nice exploration of the one-coin-twin thing. 

They’re non-traditional twins in the same way Sabrina S and Sabrina M are non-traditional twins (The Sabrinas are both Sabrina from different time lines, Lilith and Mary are different people with the same face and body) and so are a nice exploration of two sides of the same coin. 

Look at the similarities

1. Both are only children. Lilith, obviously, has no siblings as she was created singular (unless you count Eve, but as she was created from Adam’s rib not dirt, they’re more honouring sister-wives rather than actual siblings) and we confirm from the books that Mary has no brothers or sisters. 

2. Neither of them have parents. We confirm in the books that Mary’s parents died, and it seems implied in the show as well, and Lilith’s only technical parent is the False God, which doesn’t really count as he wasn’t an actual parent and she hasn’t spoken with him in 6000 years. As good as dead, really. 

3. Both are very intelligent. Mary’s intelligence might be limited to the mortal realm, whereas Lilith has a wider multi-realm, but both of them have shown themselves to be extremely intelligent and articulate, if only in different ways.

4. Similarly, both are extremely well read with wide range of knowledge. You only have to look at how many freaking books there at the cottage and the office to confirm Mary is well read. And Lilith knows so much that everyone literally just goes to her when they’re clueless, because they presume she has the answers...and she usually does. One of the main reasons Lilith’s ‘ex-communicated witch who studied with Nostradamus’ cover story worked so well, is Mary clearly gave off vibes that this was not improbable. 

5. Both are survivalists. We know without a doubt Lilith is and we’ve seen the lengths she’ll go to just to survive (carrying the Morningstar child, for example) but Mary reading Inferno as a ‘sort of therapy’ and then turning bible texts and prayer are all coping mechanisms. It’s how she’s surviving through her trauma.

6. Both primarily loners. Neither have actively chosen this, it’s simply where their lives have led them, and Mary’s ‘loner’ vibe is living alone (most of the time) in the cottage and doing things on her own, and Lilith’s loner vibe is she can’t trust anyone or have faith in anyone else so she only relies on her self, but both live a life of lone wolfdom. Circumstances and experiences have made them a solitary life. 

7. But they’re both independent so that solitary life is fine for them. Both have an air of melancholy about their loneliness (Mary saying stuff like she’d always wanted a best friend, and her chapter in the first tie-in book. While we see how Lilith does look hurt when when she’s betrayed again or when she’s looking at others who are together) but neither suffer in it. They’re independent enough not to sacrifice their own choices just to have company. They both do things on their own confidently.

8. Both have their sex lives used against them. Lilith is condemned and labelled as a whore and told that makes her unworthy to rule. Mary is condemned and mocked for being a virgin and is deemed only worthy as a sacrifice. 

9. Both have biblical names. Okay, so Lilith’s is because she actually is the Lilith from the bible, but this still counts. 

10. Both have tried to kill a Spellman to avenge Adam. After the death of Adam, Lilith, unable to target the Dark Lord, instead pins her frustrations on Sabrina and sends her Creature to kill her as punishment for Lucifer killing Adam. Mary goes to the Spellman house, believing them responsible, and shoots Zelda to exact vengeance for Adam’s death.  Similarly, both are directing their vengeance in entirely the wrong direction

11.. Because both have been manipulated by the Dark Lord. Mary only for that brief moment, and Lilith for a very long time, but both have suffered at his hand, and been made to do things they wouldn’t normally actively choose to do, if not for his influence. And that influence has had an impact on them. 

12. Both traumatised by things that happened to them. Both Lilith and Mary have suffered things that was neither their fault or their provocation. Everything, literally everything, that has happened to Mary throughout every Part has not been her fault, it has been done to her, and as we saw her slip into religion-driven madness in Part 3, we can see how horrendously traumatised she is. Lilith was demonised/banished simply for asking questions, made to serve simply for being a woman and originally human, and has suffered such long-term emotional abuse at the Dark Lord’s hand that she basically developed Stockholm Syndrome (thankfully broken by the end of Part 2 and now replaced with genuine fear and hatred)

13. Both spoken of as possession by a Morningstar. Sabrina only ever speaks of Mary as ‘my favourite teacher’ ‘my teacher’, and when she challenges Lilith over killing her it’s more because she was her favourite teacher and she took her away, rather than actual indignation over her murder (’she was my favourite teacher and you killed her’). And Lucifer refers to Lilith as his handmaiden, and even when speaking her name, speaks of her as belonging to him (’where is my handmaiden? where oh where is my Lilith?) and even openly says it to her (’you belong to me and only me’)

14. Both worked at Baxter High. An obvious one, but significant for the fact Mary prefers to work as a teacher, directly working with the children, whereas Lilith preferred to rule, running the school as Principal. 

15. Neither put a focus on sexual relationships. Lilith always comes across as neutral on sex, but positive on sexuality (i.e she’s all about the her sexuality and her sexiness, and uses it to her advantage, but she doesn’t appear to actively seek out sex). And Mary for whatever reason (asexual perhaps? Religious reasons? Just personal preference?) has never had sex and was even, it’s assumed, waiting for marriage with Adam. 

16. Both lived in Hell. Does this one count? But either way, even though Lilith’s was by choice and Mary’s wasn’t, it’s undeniable that both have spent time in residence in Hell. 

17. Both judged on their appearances. Lilith is judged on mere look as being ‘easy’ for want of a better word (the way Hawthorne immediately presumes he can do as he wishes, that the way she looks means she’s up for it) and Mary is ignored and, worse, pitied because they presume she’s mousy and uninteresting, simply because she wears sweaters and glasses and covers herself up. 

18. Similarly, both are mistaken for each other at one point. Which means people don’t pay attention to their personalities at all and do simply judge both women on how they look and nothing more, and even that is only to some extent, as they do mix them up despite their very different styles. Essentially, both Lilith and Mary are ignored by people until said people need the for something. 

19. Both dismissed/forgotten by Sabrina. Sabrina never checks in on Mary properly throughout Part 3 and misses her descent into paranoia etc and then wipes her memory and leaves her tied up alone in her own cottage. Sabrina neglects to tell Lilith that her abuser, a man who will kill her, is free and does nothing to help protect her when she does find out. 

20. Both are seen kneeling before the fire, asking to be saved. Lilith was praying to the Dark Lord, and Mary is praying to the False God, but either way both, when in desperate times, pray. 

Tagging you @unofficialhistcrian since I put Mary observations in here too. 

#headcanons #observations

[cassandra-rp]

I can’t pick a narrator style. :U

Intella curiously peered out the window as she sat in the passenger seat; Jonathan had surprised her firstly with the fact he had a car and secondly that he knew how to drive it...He wanted to take her for a drive and she didn't mind, reading quietly most of the time but occasionally talking with him... The city had disappeared as the cement turned to dirt and the buildings to trees. The dirt path winded and soon they rolled up onto a older house; it was in disrepair... She recalled the description of the house as she looked at the sage paint that was chipped away and the stone path.  "Our house..?" Intella asked; her notebooks described a place like this once.

"Yeah... I'd completely forgot about it."  A sadness lingered in his eyes. Intella pursed her lips as she recalled the notebook's description of the lifetime; It was beautiful but ended in horrors. Axel had rewritten it after her death and despite her pushing he refused to tell her much aside from the fact it was to much for her heart to take again...  "Why are we here..?" She asked after a moment and Jonathan softly smiled as he rolled up his sleeves. "I have somethings I think you'd like to have that I believe are in the attic here still...If the elements haven't gotten to them." He turned the key back and tucked it into his pocket before hopping out, Intella following along although some part of her hesitated.

Jonathan pulled another set of old key's out of his pocket as he hopped up the stairs; they warped and sagged with each step; Intella using more caution as she walked up behind him. The keys pushing into the rusty lock and a loud click as it unlocked; pushing it open.  The inside had survived better; although dusty and extremely musky it was far better than the outside.

Jonathan navigated easily through the rooms until pulling down the ladder to the attic, dust sprinkling onto them as he tested it before climbing up, pushing open the top. "Well..It looks like they're still intact." He thought aloud as he lifted himself up inside the attic, Intella waiting at the bottom as her eyes scanned the walls, vague memories lingering in her mind until the ploom of dust and a box lowered into her vision, her hands taking it from Jonathan carefully; followed by two more. Jonathan slipping back down and easily landing on his feet as he dusted himself off, Intella curiously popping open the box on the top of the stack she'd made, a few binders full of paperwork and notebooks. They were clearly Jonathan's - less organized and he had a habit in a hurry of writing upside down in his notebooks.  A diagram written out with notes beside it filling two pages caught her attention. "What's this?"  

"Well. From what I recall I was documenting family histories during this period... Mostly because it was right about when we realized the Inferno clan was getting absurd." His arms slid around her as he pointed at the notebook she was looking at. "This one looks like Constantine's..."  Intella raised a brow at that as she examined the names. "I've never heard of half of these people..."

"Mhm. I don't recall all of it but I'm sure we can trick Axel into revealing the rest of it..." He lifted one of the boxes as he spoke, smiling. "I also am thinking about renovating this place... Just for something to do." Intella smiled a bit and nodded. "I figured." She took the second box, lifting it and following Jonathan to take it back to the car. ---

"Zelda Constantine...?"  Intella raised a brow as she read through Jonathan's notes and Axel glanced up with a pondering look on his face. "Zelda was the first Constantine as far as I know. She wasn't born into a family so she made her own. She was determined to never beg again... "   Axel pursed his lips and Intella nodded, reading.

Zelda was homeless for as long as she could walk; she didn't remember a family or anything except the rainy streets of the run down town. She begged and worked and often getting abused in more ways then one for her efforts.  It didn't breed hate or resentment but simply determination to never be in the situation she was in again.

And so she worked; There was a few note worthy moments that Intella catalogued. "Apparently she knew me..." She flicked back a page or two.  

It was always just simply known as old money that the Constantine's had. No one knew where it  all came from but now she did. Ironicly it was Byzantine. Zelda was turned in her late teens and discovered the metal that burned her. Unlike other vampire's she wasn't effected by sunlight or water. Upon investigation she and Intella had determined the weaknesses were essentially from the elder vampires inbreeding to keep the vampire genes 'pure' but it resulted in other issues... Zelda wasn't one to support the idea of harming one another but she knew it'd be profitable; and it was. She mined it and sold it to hunters and others and it didn't take long until she lived on the hill herself;  As she grew she mined other materials... Diamonds and other jewels. But Byzantine was always one of her main interests.

It wasn't long until love came into the picture; A man named Theo Watson. He was from a similar background to her although a little different. His family disowned him and left him and his sister to the streets; he'd been working his way up the chain at a newspaper for the last few years and finally was CEO. His sister, Rose Watson.  She was a drifter though as the two got married  Rose also took Zelda's last name. The two wishing to disassociate from there past. It was considered very uncommon for a man to take his wife's name. Intella found it was a common trend with Zelda to break the norms of the time and she supposed that's why they'd been friends.  Rose was interesting... The more she read the more she kept wondering if she was reading about Tera. And attractive dark haired woman with every curve in the right place and a list of men who disappeared within her presence. Hell; Red seemed to be her signature color.

And of course then there was children shortly after that for Zelda and Theo at least; A boy named Vincent who was incredibly gifted from a young age and also happened to be and incredibly resilient vampire. At least by today's standards. "Axel.. A lot of this sounds like it was early 1920's yet I know for sure that December has been around longer then that - I mean she was a queen."   Intella's eyebrow quirked as it did whenever she knew Axel had a hand in something; His shoulders shifting a bit. "Keep reading." He simply added.

So, she did.  It was fairly standard; Rose and Issac met, A criminal pair made in heaven and soon gave birth to a son named Julius. The four and there two children remaining quite tight knitted until the children were teenagers; Theo died in and accident on his way to work and although Zelda grieved she didn't allow it to stop her in any sense of the word; Vincent was put ahead in high school due to his intelligence and was already getting scholarships from universities desperate to have a rich and intelligent student such as himself.

Julius was far more average; Always a few steps behind his cousin. What he lacked in intelligence he made up for with his communication skills... His parents could talk there way out of anything and he was even better at it as he could even talk people into doing things. Business seemed to be a good calling for him and since  mining wasn't as profitable as it once was he put himself into learning from his aunt Zelda everything he could about business.

Vincent was the first of the two to find love as he met a lovely intelligent woman named May Newton; A scientist with a fascination for all things abnormal and supernatural.  She hardly flinched when he first bit her as she was more curious about how it all worked. And despite the dark things she spent her time reading and working on she was always a bright ball of sunshine.

The two of them finding and artifact that Intella was far to familiar with now a days; the amulet was broken roughly two months ago; The symbol was Axel's and the same one tattoo'd on his back, It allowed for temporary time travel but was a danger to Axel's well being..So she begrudgingly agreed to destroy it.  And sure enough a few tabloids Jonathan had gathered talked about the disappearance of Vincent and May.  Zelda splitting her will between Julius and vincent soon afterwards in case her son ever returned but trusting her nephew with her legacy.

[a-functional-lowlife-blog]

8.11.19

So I’ve never really utilized anything other than a diary to jot down my daily feels, but something tells me I might find some comfort knowing that nobody can sneak into my room and read my journal. Tumblr seems like a good enough void to dump these thoughts into. Maybe it’s my psyche craving a positive outlet.. Id rather this be private, but sometimes connections supposed to help, right?  If topics of abuse, death, suicide, or depression trigger you, please do not continue reading. So I guess, let’s start from the top.

I’m 2X years old, & I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing with my life right now. I’m a gamer, & employed, But it’s not like I”m pursuing some great dream. I’m kind of coasting through life, trading experiences for fragments of myself. But I’m honestly rather content, at the moment. I make decent enough money. I can afford to shelter myself, feed myself, & entertain myself. So to some people, yeah it might look like i’ve had it pretty easy. In some ways, I have; in others, not really. 

It was just me & my mom growing up. Dad wasn’t around, & i don’t really want to get into that right now. My mom did everything she could for me. And I, of course being a growing hormonal boy, never truly appreciated it until I got into the real world. Thanks mom. She low-key prepared me for almost anything. I graduated high school, no special titles or accolades, but I could hear her screaming well above the entire stadium of parents when they called my name. I hope I can make her that proud again someday. I haven’t seen her in almost 4 years. Life can be a bitch like that once you’re an actual adult.

Since graduating high school, I’ve fathered a child, a little girl, who continues to blow my mind every day, with her brains & beauty. Damn, my ugly mug made one amazing little girl. Everything I do, I do for her. Even when it doesn’t seem like it. The mother & I are still on fantastic terms, but we separated a couple years after the birth. It just didn’t work as a healthy relationship anymore, & our daughter deserved better than that. 

After we parted ways, I got myself tangled up with a girl that, in hindsight, I should have never said hello to. Now don’t get me wrong, the first 2 years were truly magical. She was young, beautiful, petite body, alternative with piercings & tattoos. Which was basically me, young, rather handsome, fit body, alternative with piercings and tattoos. A match, it would seem, made in heaven. She made me feel alive again. She reinvigorated me to my soul, showed me new experiences I never could have imagined, or dared to do otherwise. I felt happy. Which for me, is a rather fleeting bird, one that’s typically driven away by the raven. It was just like a fairy-tale. We all know those aren’t real. I should have seen the warning signs. The “red flags” that everyone says I ignored. But red flags look like regular flags when looking through rose-tinted glass. If you’ve stumbled upon this by chance, & are triggered by abuse, or suicide, I suggest you stop reading now. 

It started out with little things. Roast-like insults, but sometimes they hurt a little more than they should. Which, obviously, led my mind to tell me “stop being so sensitive.” I’d let it slide. As we approached the 2 year mark, it started getting nastier. Her patience with me was very thin. The smallest error, like I forgot to pick up soda on the way home from my 10 hour shift once, led to me being belittled with insults to my intelligence & even attacks on my dedication to her. It only got worse as time went on. I silently cried myself to sleep most nights. My self-esteem was in an entirely different dimension by this point. I’ve become completely submissive to her. I looked at myself in the mirror one night, after doing things that I regret doing, and being disgusted in myself for letting it get so bad. For never stepping back up & standing my ground. I got us through homelessness. I had helped her get help because she had a severe mental illness that I will not put here. Her every wish, within my power, was my command. Why should I tolerate being treated like something stuck to the bottom of her shoe when kindness didn’t suit her?  So I did. That was the first time she hit me. Just once, open palmed to my left temple.

It didn’t stop. It got worse. I will not go into details, because almost 3 years later, I still panic when I try to think about those months. Most of my friends & family do not know how bad it got. And those that do, do not even know who she even was. It collapsed faster when I started to dissociate after multiple (thankfully) failed suicide attempts. I started cheating, trying to get her to leave me, since she wouldn’t allow me to leave her without threatening to kill herself. “You’re my soulmate, I won’t live without you.” She kept me in that state of submissive fear for another year, using the same lines. Using the same deflection tactics to make me question myself. All while calling me her “soul mate”. I hate that fucking word now. 

But I did finally get the courage to leave. In the middle of the night, a train ride back to my hometown. She tried to work back into my life a few times over the next 2 years. I eventually stopped talking to her, because she would always try to convince me to come back to her, that it can be different, that she’s willing to start over. So I stopped talking to her last year. And now, I can’t anymore, because last month, she killed herself. I honestly never stopped loving her. I can feel the hole where her energy used to be, the bits she contributed to my soul, snuffed out.. I blame myself for her suicide. And I hate that I fell in love with such a beautiful, toxic soul.

We can skip over the few fling relationships I held while in my hometown, except for one girl, who I will forever thank for showing me what a true loving, healthy relationship, based on trust and open communication can actually be like. We got into it knowing we were on a time limit, because I was already in the process of saving up to move again, this time, 3,000 miles away. But we had good chemistry, and I think the relationship was the perfect amount of time for both of us. She’s a LoZ girl. Major fan. As in, owns every game, tons of merch, follows tons of streamers on Twitch who play Legend of Zelda, especially if it’s Ocarina of Time. Coastal gamer girl is probably the best description of her. She’s still one of my best friends, & I talk to her on occasion. She’s super happy, and living a rather adventurous life. I’m super happy for her. 

Our fateful day came, and I had to move away. She comforted me during the entire packing process. Which literally filled 2 boxes I shipped to my new address, my military backpack, & a laptop case. It still resulted in 8 hours of back to back anxiety attacks. I only knew TWO people in the town where I was moving to. One of them, I had never physically met before in our entire 14 year friendship. So, rightfully, I was terrified to leave. I’d reconnected with old friends in my hometown. I’d met an amazing girl in my hometown. I’d landed a really fantastic job in the medical field in my hometown. What was I thinking?! Leave all of THIS?!

But I knew why. She knew why. Everyone in my life knew why. The answer was simple. Yeah, I had a good job, a good girl, & a relatively good life. But I wasn’t truly happy. In my soul. Just as I was in the states I’ve lived before. And that was okay. We had the perfect amount of happiness.

So here I am, in an undisclosed new location, three-thousand miles away from my hometown. And honestly, I’m happier here than I’ve ever been anywhere else. Do I see myself dying here? No, not really. But I could kick it here for a decade or so, if the fates allow my life that long? Sure. The best friend I’d never met before, is just as amazing in person. We play video games together now & then, and go out to the downtown bar scene sometimes for karaoke. There’s 3 roommates total. I enjoy being their roommate. Also, there’s 4 cats. who I absolutely love, and will contemplate posting their pictures here too, for memories sake.

I’ve made some really amazing friends, especially one girl in particular. She’s been very good to me, in many ways. Dinners, events, concerts, party weekend for my last birthday to pass. All while both of us just have a blast around each other. She’s helped me alot these last few months, everything from food to rent, while I struggled to find work, & get on my own two feet. I struggled for 5 months before I landed myself where I am now. So to celebrate, she & I went and got tattoos today.

I got a tattoo of the chemical structure of serotonin on my wrist. To remind myself to be happy, because I’ve already spent so much time being sad. And that I’m going to keep making myself happier, by staying true to myself, learning & growing from the events I’ve been through in my life, both good and bad. Creative, & destructive. Because it’s all molded me into who I am now.

So really without getting into childhood stories, high school shenanigans, & college hijinx, that’s the story of Z. A recent handle I’ve taken to lately, in case someone does decide to read this. I’d like to add to this little... off-site journal once a week, maybe more often.

That’s all I’ve got for today. I’m sufficiently stoned now, & would like to return to playing Apex Legends.

Signing off, 

Z

#journal #private #tw suicide #tw abuse #tw drugs #read at your own discretion #do not repost #venting

[strangebedfellows-blog]

Miscellaneous and chill little establishing headcanon dump for some of my l.oz people, because they’re delightful and since I’ve never actually interacted with this fandom I’m not sure what’s commonly accepted and what’s coming purely out of my own head, so here’s some kind of framework. Ones involving other characters or the world at large are just there to give myself context, and obviously nobody else is beholden to ‘em.

Also because I’m too lazy to get to bio pages left and they deserve something.

Cool edit: hey personals, don’t interact with this post. Don’t like it, definitely don’t fucking reblog it. Oh my god. Basic etiquette. It’s not tagged with their general tags for a reason.

VAATI

It’s indulgent of me, but for the record, I like to think he won the swordfighting competition largely of his own merit. I like to think he’s smart enough to know he could have just...magic’d his way past it altogether if he wanted, but it sounds like he actually competed. 

I HAVE MORE BUT I’M JUST GOING TO EDIT THEM IN SOMETIME LATER WHEN I REBLOG THIS I’m typing at like four in the morning why must I dedicate this time to angry wind maus

ZANT

Comin’ in out of the gate: it’s silly personal headcanon but I generally peg the Twili as ancient Sheikah counterparts - part of the same community that split and cut ties firmly enough that by the time they were banished most people had forgotten, and the differences great enough that the latter was never in any jeopardy. They do have deific ties to Majora and the Fierce Deity, though it’s been so long there’s no telling if active worship...exists.

Is actually competent, and intelligent. Midna notes that he didn’t end up ruling the realm because people could pick up on his power lust, but no mention is made of the fact the dude is...a lunatic, and Midna seems to register it as something unfamiliar when he flies off the handle toward the end of the game. I think he kept an incredibly tight rein on himself at absolutely all times in the specific hopes of seeming collected and controlled enough to rule, and his outbursts only really started after he was passed over. They clearly kept him around for awhile despite knowing they wouldn’t be crowning him, so it stands to reason Zant is genuinely good at whatever his precise role was, and a magic user of some significant finesse. Not raw power, not until Ganondorf, but incredible dexterity when applied to delicate tasks. 

In the same vein as viewing the normal Hyrulean royal family as one certainly responsible for performing or enabling some heinous things, I assume the same could be said of the Twili royals. While I believe Zant’s “served and endured in that depraved household” is an embellishment he’s making spitefully because he’s narcissistic and falling apart, there’s a kernel of important truth. There likely were goings-on that would seem shady to us. I can’t imagine specifics, but it’s worth mentioning that Zant was not the only of the Twili who wanted to return to the real world, and while he had violence on the mind, one could certainly guess there were others who would have been more than content just negotiating a return, and to share it. It’s nevertheless treated entirely as some unreasonable desire, despite...the fact...they were ejected from their home and left to their realm so long they’re markedly different, so much so their previous environment kills them. ( One can only imagine adapting to the Twilight Realm was unpleasant, for the first over. )

50% of the reason he loses is because he’s a moron and an indulgent moron, who just can’t sate himself with winning; he has to win and having a living loser to point at and laugh. He has to have someone he can personally lord over, living testaments to the power of his wrath. If he smartened up enough to just kill people, I...really don’t think he’d have lost that one. 

The other 50% is that he’s so utterly unused to Ganondorf’s power, which is overwhelming in both volume and intensity. Zant can warp reality with it. He is, in some important sense, something of a god. And that’s so much that he, who is incredibly well practiced with making more efficient use of less magic, has no goddamn clue what to do with it. It’s difficult to channel and control, and the result are broad sweeps that are chosen for dramatic effect or specifically because they eat up enough to keep him comfortable, rather than practicality.

I’m not sure where I’m going with it, but it’s fascinating to me that most Twili seem to be pretty skin-baring whereas he doesn’t even show his neck under the helmet, and places such a clear focus on fabricating bulk that just isn’t there. I like to think parts of his outfit have weights, and it was partially an effort to physically restrain himself from any reactive-contorting at work. Sometimes you wanna break your spine but that would look most uncouth. 

Not a physical fighter. Hit hard, hit fast, hit erratic, then collapse because you can’t breathe. Twili are in general much more inclined toward magic than traditional fisticuffs, but Zant’s exceptionally physically weak among even them. Reedy ‘n Dweeby.

SIDON

Incurably shy kid, believe it or not. The complete lack of dialogue of his in Mipha’s memory was actually entirely because Zelda was there; he would have been sheepish enough had it been any outside figure, but especially someone he understood to be so important - how could he speak? So small. Sheepish. A lot less confident in himself than he’d eventually become, and Mipha’s gentle encouragement ( and its legacy ) was definitely the biggest factor in changing that.

Really really really worried, constantly, that he’s a drain on people. It’s something of a holdover from his shy youth, but also backed up by a lot of what he can observe. He places a great deal more pressure on himself after Mipha’s death as the new heir ( he was never supposed to be, and would honestly be a much more sincerely at ease adult had it not come down to him ), more than, frankly, anyone around him has. As clearly beloved as he is, and with the fairly warm and encouraging person we can surmise his father to be, there’s some demanding little tug he feels toward inadequacy at all times. He’s incredibly empathetic and not being able to assist everyone all the time, despite the impossibility, hurts him. 

He’s a little too warm-hearted and emotional, he feels, to be the ideal ruler. He’s far too dedicated to proving to others and himself that he could be, however, to fully indulge his personable and down to earth side. He’s caught teetering quite awkwardly on the edge where he can’t reap the benefits of his charming personality OR dedicated focus and work ethic. 

His father never told him Mipha was dead, as he refused to believe it himself. Most zora were split, but eventually enough people seemed defeated enough while murmuring about the matter, the statue went up, and Sidon was first forced to put it together for himself that she really, truly wasn’t coming back. The single most devastating day of his life, and to think it was years after the fact. He hurts more for it, and it’s part of the reason his night visitations are so constant.

On a happier note, he absolutely does tiny swimming drills with little zora kids whenever he can find the time and get a gaggle together. Much whistle blowing, big exaggerated gestures, so much encouragement, it’s a great time all around. 

Seeing Zelda and Link makes him regress, just the faintest touch; he certainly idolized Zelda as a child, and despite having some sister-stealing-related animosity towards Link, had spent the remainder of his youth looking up to him as well. It’s two childhood heroes perfectly preserved and dropped back in front of him, which is quite a happy and confusing shock. It brings a lot of Mipha back to mind, which is bittersweet, but he’s also...doggedly determined to try and prove himself to them, despite their approval meaning nothing at all for him beyond sentiment. 

No you really don’t understand how cool he thought Zelda was

Definitely....accidentally....got more than a handful of Hylians killed, trying to run them through what Link did. This is actually why he has to stop and check on you every leg of the way -- he really is concerned, and it’s a self-reassurance as much as he hopes it’s just normal reassurance for Link.  

REVALI

Doesn’t hate Link. Really. It would need to be coming from a much more intense, much more personal place to truly register as hate. He does, however, IMMENSELY DISLIKE him. It isn’t any kind of confused expression of affection -- I can’t stress enough, the antagonism is pure and genuine. Revali feels incredibly real bitterness toward Link, and to an extent that ever getting past it would be an entire arc in itself. An arc that’d literally be longer than his life, mind you.

I see it crop up a lot so it might be wide fanon? I wouldn’t know - I do generally believe he was an orphan, and Hyrule is so packed with ways to die I couldn’t begin to pin down a cause yet. That said I don’t imagine Revali himself would know, having lost his parents quite early in life and refusing information initially because it hurt, and after that because he convinced himself he was better not knowing. He was for the most part a fairly serious child, simultaneously aggressive and clingy. I imagine he was raised in a foster sort of setting, with an older guardian who passed naturally and with little fanfare when he was a young adult. They got on well enough, and they likely encouraged his at-first-shot adoration for archery ( as is Rito custom, but also Revali’s interest in its own right ) and let him have what space he wanted. Which was a lot. Solitary, even back then. He didn’t take many pains to involve himself with the community and was typically given a lukewarm reception. 

A completely unimpressive shot, initially, but he took to flying at a little more impressive a pace. Not exceptional at either for a long while. He got exceptional by working at it on a daily basis for...honestly, the entirety of his life after he first picked it up. No exaggeration. Minimal breaks taken, and only to make sure he had minimal time to heal or rest his muscles when sorely needed, and never more. He had some small reserve of natural affinity, but by and large his success came entirely because he worked his ass of for it. He took it seriously, kept at it, stayed passionate about getting better; not for a particular reason, even. He had most of the village’s best archers thoroughly outclassed* in his late teens ( or Rito equivalent ) and though he was a ways from even conceptualizing the Gale, was a thoroughly adept flier. He didn’t care particularly much about warrior-ing as a career but assumed it was where he would end up, and in the meantime supported himself comfortably enough through inheritance and some horribly tedious job nobody recalls because he glared them into taking it to their graves. This was eventually swapped with competition winnings as his star ascended. 

*  I’d like to note I generally don’t think the Rito are actually renowned archers, and it’s more of a cultural thing than one of skill. Revali asked for a practice range to practice at more elevations, which sounds like the sort of thing they’d have to begin with if they were putting intense focus on archery in combat. Revali’s skill wasn’t notable or locally renowned as some kind of curiosity, it was because he was outperforming actual warriors and taking an icon of theirs to new heights, and at a relatively young age. Note that no one else can make physical use of his bow, after his death. It’s not just that he’s good, it’s that he actually IS better at it than anyone else in the area. And this is before he invents the Gale. Additionally, he was entirely self-taught beyond the rudimentary tips to help him start flying as a young’un. It was difficult, but he isn’t broken up about it. On the contrary, it freed him to go at everything at his own overintense pace, and work on outdoing everything rather than necessarily polishing his grasp of basics before he absolutely had to. He really values self-reliance in others, for reasons like this.

It’s small, but his ‘I...could get used to this’ is enough to convince me in addition to being more stoic in his youth, he was something approaching humble. It’s not entirely that the sudden onslaught of praise overinflated his ego - it did, but that’s not all of it - but also that he felt the amount of praise was proportionate to the blood, sweat, and tears he had put into getting so good. He had no friends, mind you, no family, and beyond the one mention of Rito children looking up to him and the general legacy he left behind as a visionary in his craft, he didn’t have much of a life. He certainly enjoys it in an annoying way, but I think there’s some merit to the zeal.

I get the vague impression Rito are fairly removed, and while not unfriendly are a little closed off from other cultures. Revali reflects this, partially in his implied low opinion of Hylians.

Of the champions, Mipha and Zelda are his favorites by a ridiculous margin. Not that it shows all that often. The Mipha smile though? Significant. She’s Theeeeee favorite. ( Not that this means he didn’t probably pick on young Sidon, just a touch. )

Died because...I mean, the plot, but also because he was tired ( the distance he had to travel to get to Medoh, and in one go, isn’t ideal ), more shaken than he would admit on pain of a hundred deaths ( at what he’d seen on the way there, surely more chaos than he was accustomed to ), and the corruption of Medoh hit him especially hard as he had REALLY bonded with it. The ‘winging it’ line is partially true; after all of that, he...panicked, a little. 

The lack of living people that remember him? Eats at him way way way way way way way way way way way more than he’ll ever let anyone know. He’s a real sad bird, inside.

GHIRAHIM

His baseline ‘personality’ / set of functions is, at the core, largely a mirror of Fi. He is the version of himself that we know only because he refused to linger in his sword state -- ambition and initiative were things he had much more of than she did, and largely lacking in the tactful patience that’s more or less served her well. Being crafted rather than born and manifesting himself on his own, he at no point had anything resembling a guiding figure or much by way of...normal socialization. The lack of anything resembling a traditional foundation coupled with the RIDICULOUS amount of time he spent in incredibly mixed company seeking out whatever might help him locate his master, and the frustration that comes with such immense and ongoing failure, contribute as much to the end result as anything he was made / ‘born’ with. 

He actually isn’t an astonishing combatant against someone intelligent who knows what they’re up against; he is himself aware of this, and takes what other advantages he can get. I typically view Link defeating him as fair integration of gameplay and story and not something that had to happen for the plot - it ultimately came down to the sword Link was using. Ghirahim isn’t at his most powerful unless he’s in sword form, as that’s what he was designed to be, and some substantial portion of his energy is likely wasted on manifesting physically at all, any magic he performs, teleportation, so on and so forth. He can read people, he has his magical origins on his side, and he’s certainly strong, and all of those things are enough to fell whatever unfortunate people or monsters initially tried to attack him, but up against non-laymen and in the name of cutting down needless-but-numerous future challengers it’s in his interest to blow himself out of proportion. He’s a fantastic talker, good at making an impression, and once the first crop is afraid of him, it just snowballs until he doesn’t need to do much of anything - I imagine ‘Lord Ghirahim’ was something he didn’t actually come up with himself, but heard once and liked it so much he went out and made everyone do it. 

There’s some level of discontent with his ultimate fate, but it’s buried under his own resolute refusal to acknowledge or explore it consciously because he was made to serve and to serve one purpose, and was not intended for any higher aspirations, and because even on an unconscious level, his very being can’t accept it for long. During his impressive span of relative isolation and lording over scant surface-folk / monsters, he grew just a touch beyond his programming. Make no mistake, this doesn’t make him less of a threat -- has to or not, he is nothing short of a fanatic and would still do anything at all for Demise or to spite Hylia -- it’s merely that he briefly lets his mind wander, and suffers a somewhat human need to justify himself, which he has. ( In fact it makes him worse, because he’s gone from something of a mindless tool of cruelty to someone actively seeking it out, having convinced themselves quite firmly of its necessity and value. ) A general Thing I run with re: this whole series is that Hyrule’s actually a horrible place to live if you squint, and basically all the goddesses are horrible to the poor mortals below. Ghira’s owed a little frustration with his lot.

Related to the above? As delightful as it is to joke about, he’s not a sincerely sexual entity. Any and all weird tongue-waggling is done specifically because he knows it throws people off, and that’s what he wants out of a fight. He’s not socialized enough to know much of the nuance behind similar action, he just knows it gets a large reaction out of people, and typically that makes intimidation or murder even easier.

#WICKEDNESS IN THE HEARTS OF MAN ( vaati : headcanon ) #NOR THE FAINTEST BLOOM OF DESIRE ( zant : headcanon ) #ARISTOCRATIC AND OPEN HEARTED ( sidon : headcanon ) #DON'T COME CRYING TO ME ( revali : headcanon ) #A STRONG APPETITE FOR BLOODSHED ( ghirahim : headcanon ) #the Vaati one's not dONE but it's late and I'll edit something in tomorrow

[pocketseizure]

I expected to like The Shape of Water for different reasons than I did.

The central love story between a human woman and an amphibious man came off as more than a little creepy to me, and not because of why you might think it would.

Thankfully, the movie contains two other stories of border crossing that I found far more emotionally satisfying. One of these stories is about a Russian immigrant who came to America seeking intellectual freedom, and the other is about a black woman carving out a space for herself in the white-dominated society of the 1960s.

If you're wondering why The Shape of Water hasn't been given a wide theater release and has been playing in mostly arthouse cinemas, I'd have to say that it's probably because of the opening ten minutes, in which the lead actress, Sally Hawkins, is shown disrobing and masturbating while naked in the bathtub. Just in case the first depiction of masturbation was too subtle for the audience to catch, the director helpfully provides a second masturbation scene accompanied by a sexy moan. I think the point of this is to establish that Hawkins's character, a mute janitor named Elisa, is an adult woman with sexual needs, but it still felt unnecessary to me, especially since Elisa is so innocent as to be almost childish.

When it comes to interspecies romance, I am all for it as long as both parties are consenting adults. The problem with the romance between Elisa and her fish boyfriend is that I'm not sure that it can necessarily be called consensual. I'm also not entirely certain that the fishboy is an adult. The ways in which he's visually characterized, with huge eyes and a lanky body, make him seem more like a teenage member of a boy band than an adult male of his species, and his narrative characterization of wide-eyed wonder and almost complete passivity makes him seem more like a child. Moreover, he is either a prisoner at the scientific laboratory or a prisoner in Elisa's apartment, and he depends on Elisa's goodwill not just for food and shelter but also, essentially, for the ability to continue breathing. Although she does not take advantage of him physically, and though he could easily kill her if he wished, the power imbalance (and strongly implied age imbalance) in their relationship is too pronounced for me to feel comfortable about his ability to give consent.

Moreover, Elisa makes very little attempt to communicate with him. He seems to be able to understand the basic sign language that she's shared with him, but she does not teach him enough to have an actual conversation. According to what the viewer sees, she knows nothing about him, including his name. She never attempts to tell him about what has happened to him or where he is or what she intends to do, and she also never tries to ask him what he wants.

There's a scene about halfway through the film in which the villain, a military officer charged with overseeing the lab's security, sexually harasses Elisa in his office, physically intimidating her while invading her space and telling her that he finds her inability to use her voice erotic. The viewer is supposed to understand that his attraction to her difference is nothing more than a fetish that transforms her into an object that serves his pleasure while denying her subjectivity. In the same way, however, Elisa's attraction to the fishboy is also fetishistic. She is drawn to him because... He resembles a healthy and attractive adolescent human male? Because she masturbates in the bathtub and associates water with physical pleasure? Because she's just lonely and needs to see what she considers to be her own pathological difference reflected in a romantic partner in order to feel secure? To me, a woman who is old enough to worry about the creases in the skin of her neck when she looks in the mirror is old enough to at least try to talk to her partner, or at the very least ask him what his name is. Elisa is not a stupid lovestruck teenager, and it's borderline offensive that she acts as though she's only about as emotionally mature as one.

I found much more emotional resonance with the lead scientist of the team investigating the fishboy, who is a Russian named Dmitri posing as an American named Bob. Although this man is acting as a spy, it's clear that he considers himself to be first and foremost a scientist. It's unclear how much of his backstory is fabricated, but he seems to have held a tenure-track research position at an American university, which means that he would have gotten a PhD at an American institution as well. If this is the case, it's likely that he trained at a Russian university and then, after realizing the severe educational limitations enforced according to Soviet ideology, he came to America like many other Russian scientists and intellectuals of his generation.

Due to Cold War politics, Dmitri has been forced to report to Soviet operatives, which he does unwillingly and in full knowledge of the precarity of his position. This reads like a dramatization of the way that many immigrants and refugees coming to America during the latter half of the twentieth century were torn between cultures and languages and identities. Also, because of his cultural liminality, Dmitri is forced to insist repeatedly and to multiple parties that he is a scientist, and that his knowledge and qualifications need to be taken seriously. When push comes to shove, however, Dmitri is neither Russian nor American but rather a human who not only sees the fishboy as a fellow sentient creature but is also able to perceive and unconditionally trust the intelligence and competence of the two female janitors whom he observes making plans to rescue his charge.

The woman who helps Elisa break her fish boyfriend out of the lab is Zelda, who's played by literal goddess Octavia Spencer. Despite being set in Baltimore, a city with an African American majority population, The Shape of Water is very much a movie about white people, and it's somewhat aggravating that Spencer was cast in the role of the sassy black friend. Still, the film does not shy away from how her character navigates the space of the research lab, which is filled with white people. As a black woman, she is more or less invisible, a status that's emphasized by the way that she and the other black workers have figured out how to take advantage of the blind spots in the lab's system of security cameras. Because the white scientists and military officials have been socialized to ignore "the help," Zelda is able to see and hear everything and go anywhere without attracting attention, and ability she is able to use wisely at her discretion.

There's a scene late in the film when the white military officer hunting the fishboy storms into Zelda's apartment and attempts to intimidate her. In the process, he performs an act of terrible violence, but she stands up to him like an absolute boss and then immediately runs to the phone to warn Elisa without even bothering to check if the man who just threatened to kill her has left. She then calls the police, which I find extremely interesting. Like the city itself, the police force of Baltimore is comprised of a black majority, and the way that a black woman was able to call on the black local police to resist the white federal government reflects the history of the city as a major site of resistance against white supremacy during the Civil Rights Movement. For a movie that could very easily have taken the Stranger Things route to a comfortable and uncontroversial type of cultural nostalgia, this is subtle but sharp reflection of what was actually going on in the United States during the 1960s.

Ultimately, the love story between the human woman and her amphibious boyfriend feels like a fairy tale version of the various cultural changes and border crossings that are represented elsewhere in the film. The fairy tale version of this story has a relatively happy ending, but the reality of the people who have to remain above water in the real world is far more bitter than sweet. This is why, when I watched The Shape of Water, I found myself sympathizing far more with the supporting characters – and, in the end, I'm still not sure why the movie had to go out of its way to show the audience Sally Hawkins masturbating in a bathtub. Regardless, it's just as weird and gorgeous as you'd expect, and let's be real, that fishboy is super hot.  

#The Shape of Water #interspecies romance #long post is long #minor spoilers

[kepesh-yakshi]

I’ve been tagged!!!

I was tagged by @wyndx (you’re awesome!) great questions in this one!  I’m going to answer yours, my fair tumbling friend!

Rules:

a) Always post the rules, answer the questions, then write 11 questions of your own.

b) Tag 11 people.

1. Do you have a hobby outside of gaming?

I have a few, though gaming has been taking up most of my recent time.  1) I am a writer by both hobby and pseuo career (aka, I do not yet make enough to cover any bills, but I get something for it sometimes).  2) I love archery, and thus play an archer in most of my games.  My favorite bow is my newest:  a Bear Cruzer, it’s blaze orange, though I don’t count it as one of my “required orange” wearables. To be honest, I like to deck out in all blaze, so other human hunters can see me while most animals can’t discern my orange from actual camo.  3) Most of my work life has been devoted to security of some kind.  I spent ten years with the TSA, and now am in retail security, and though it is my job, it’s also a major interest, and in a way, hobby of mine.  Enough so that I read and chat with others in the field about it.

2. What Dragon Age companion could you see yourself actually hanging out with in real life?

Honestly?  Cassandra.  In real life, my closest friends (I have three) are all tall, strong, beautiful women, all but one are of culture aka, they choose a non-mainstream lifestyle and are proud of their heritage or path or belief(s), yet are still welcoming, open-minded, intelligent, forthright, and forgiving.  Great role models.  I stand 5′8″ - shortest on mom’s side, tallest on dad’s.  Cassandra would be one of those three.  I could see her in modern day calling me for a cuppa coffee and talking about her newest discovery in classic romantic literature.

3. What is your favorite movie?

Shawshank Redemption, hands down.  But...Dumb and Dumber is my favorite laugher.  Arlington Road pisses me off to tears, so it is among my favorites because it moves me so much.

4. Which DA game did you play the most?

Inquisition.  It was my “welcome to DA” game.  I am on Windows 10, and the other games don’t play well with this OS. and that sucks. But I am working on it. Origins, so far, has been a blast to play, so far!  I have not really started DA2.  But I can’t wait to get into it.

5. Would you ever move somewhere else to live?

Yes!  I lived in Durango, before, back in the late 90s.  I’d definitely do it again!  Beautiful place with great people!

6. Do you have any new year’s goals for 2017?

Two:  one is recurring and doesn’t count because I do it every year.  “physically” get back in season.  Enjoy the summer months in a great body, then throw it back to the fat hell in the winter months.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  But this year, my goal is to not have to explain myself for what makes me happy.  I am me, I do me, and if people don’t like it, that’s their shit.  I just dropped a long time friend of six years because she took my self-deprecative humor personally.  Tired of that shit.  I am not a doctor, psychologist, etc, and i don’t want your family drama, and i should not have to explain in detail why i do not wear makeup when YOU KNOW I am transitioned to male.  UGH.  I do not and will not explain myself.

7. Do you have any pets?

One cat.  I rescued her over the summer.  She was five when I met her.  She actually picked me out.  We’ve been best buds ever since.  Her name is Crackers.

8. Where in the world of Thedas would you a)live b)vacation c)avoid?

Live:  southern Marches or northern Fereldan.  Close to water (fishing!!!!) and seems to be a nice easy community gathered around the area.

Vacation:  Nevarra or Western Approach.  Culture and food for the former.  Hunting and endles beauty of the sands for the latter.

Avoid:  seheron.  Stories like what comes out of there kinda push me away.

9. Are you a reader? What is your favorite book?

YES!!!  Classic Lit.  Favoite book is The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay.  A pro hockey player friend gave me a copy.  I’ve shared it with many.  I also love The Count of Monte Christo (Dumas) and The Idiot (Dostoyevsky), but I can’t limit to just three.  I have so many I love and so many I have yet to read.

10. Any secret talents?

I am left handed to a fault -- I crook my hand when I write.  So my secret talent is that I can sign my name upside down, right side up, top to bottom, left to right, and even backwards.  I can also blow bubbles out of my left eye (dog attack severed my tear duct when I was 13). And I was a goalie for an inline hockey team in an all-mens league between 2001-2005.  Once held 6 records before it got popula.  1) most shutouts in a season (36).  2)most wins in a season (36), 3)first female goalie to make it to regionals (lost 2-1 in triple overtime, other goalie bought me dinner, I thought I had a husband at that point LOL)  4) longest game ever played (still in the record books at 4 hrs 36 minutes)   5) hottest game ever played (126* outside)  6)coldest game ever played (-20 outside) -- last two records were october 2003 in Texas within three weeks of each other.  the last three still stand.  LOL.

11. Do you ship any rarepairs?

Rarepairs?  OH like leliana and sera?

My questions:

1. If you could pick any superpower to have what would it be?

to be able to see 5 minutes into the future. 

2. What is your preffered race and class in the DA games? human rogue archer

3. Favorite food? Grilled chicken breast.

4. If you could choose to live in any fictional universe which would you choose? Either Dragon Age or Elder Scrolls

5. Anything you really want to see in DA4? Nevarra

6. Are you in any other fandoms? Elder Scrolls

7. Biggest fear? Death :(  it’s something we all will deal with, but I fear it.  I have heard that fear of it means we have much more to live for, and we need to be stronger in our own personal convictions.

8. First Video Game you ever beat? Legend of Zelda (Adventures of Link) or Shadowrun (on Genesis), I forgot.

9. What’s your hogwarts house? (if you know) Slytherin -- which is funny, because I hated that house in the first movie.

10. Are you a night owl or a morning person? All-nighter, baby!!!

11. What’s the best advice you’ve ever recieved? Don’t give up on you!!!! My 11 Questions (answered) : 1.  Who is your hero? Me, first and foremost.  I’ve been through shit that people often write books about. And I’m still here and still enjoying life. But I also love my life coach, J, who guided me through the process of dropping all hindrances and learning to love my inner child. 2.  Have you ever met someone you looked up to and were happy about it? YES!!!   She left me with some keen advice.  Sylvia Browne is her name. She passed into the next world, so to speak, but when I met her, I was working the walkthrough at TSA, and she was in a wheelchair.  I was pre-transition (I am ftm), and she complimented me on my kindness and asked if she could give a reading.  Of course I agreed, after complimenting her on her books.  She said to me, “you are going to change.  A metamorphosis.  It will be painful but worth it to you.”  Almost exact quote, that was back in ‘08.   She also said that I would be a beacon to others who need to grow out of their boxes if I overcame my own obstacles.  She’s been right so far. 3.  What are your three current favorite songs? Sorry - Justin Bieber (the kid is good, I have to give props here  -- I jam to this) Can I get a - Jay Z (high school favorite, still a favorite) The entire Under Reprisal CD by Threat Signal -- I kill workouts to this CD Anything at all from Fear Factory -- because again I KILL my goals with their music blasting. 4.  Favorite pizza topping? Meat. 5.  Favorite obscure movie? Hmm...The Upside of Anger (Joan Allen and Kevin Costner).  Joan is my favorite actress. 6.  Are you a sports fan at all? YES to almost everything.  I played goalie in roller hockey. 7.  What tumblrs do you follow and love but haven’t given love to? (tag the person) @meridok and @customhawke ... and @my-mother-mercury

damn fine tumblrs, there. 8.  Any crazy bad habits? I bite my nails almost religiously, though they’re quite healthy, despite this. 9.  What career do you think you had in a past life? A scribe or bard.  I love to sing and write, now. 10.  What is your best feat ever?  Ran 2.6 miles in an airport terminal to exchange switched laptops between two high-up people in two major and well-known companies.  Both offered jobs to me afterward.  Hmm, perhaps I should contact now for career purposes. 11.  What is your favorite motivational quote (or one you made up)?

“The ability to not know is an essential quality in learning anything.” -Jeff Brooks  (article here)

My 11 Questions (for those I’ve tagged) : 1.  Who is your hero? 2.  Have you ever met someone you looked up to and were happy about it? 3.  What are your three current favorite songs? 4.  Favorite pizza topping? 5.  Favorite obscure movie? 6.  Are you a sports fan at all? 7.  What tumblr do you follow and love but haven’t given love to? (tag the person) 8.  Any crazy bad habits? 9.  What career do you think you had in a past life? 10.  What is your best feat ever?   11.  What is your favorite motivational quote (or one you made up)?

I’m breaking the rules and tagging less than 11 people (sorry). Tagging:  @meridok @archievement @customhawke @cuddlingcassandra @fereldan-dog-lord @my-mother-mercury @solasofficial @dragonageconfessions @dawriting @earthen-soul @fantasyartwatch

#me #about me #questions #tagged #tsa #hockey #books #reading #classic literature #LOVE THIS #i love this

[starfreightersays-blog]

Alien: Covenant

Spoilers ahead.

Alien Covenant is a sequel to Prometheus, which are both prequels to the original Alien film made in 1979. Prometheus was said to explain the space jockey’s from the first film, however, most people were disappointed with the result since it didn’t answer any of the questions from the first film and instead created more questions which confused most people. Because of this I had hoped that Alien: Covenant would answer these questions and set us up with the origins of the Derelict ship in the first film.

The film starts off with David’s ‘birth’, Peter Weyland, and we get an idea of David’s superiority complex as he’s already asking, ‘who made you?’ to his creator and pointing out that he will out-live him. We are then taken to the Covenant, a colony ship on its way to a planet to start a new civilization. Suddenly, a solar flare hits the ship while the solar sails are out causing several of the colonists to die as well as the Captain of the crew. Other than the flat screens and holograms, which bother me because of the inconsistency with the originals big chunky cathode ray TV’s, I was happy with this start. It shows the isolation of space which sets up a good atmosphere for the film.

We then follow the crew as they attempt to fix the solar sails. Other than everything sounding like it’s underwater rather than breathing this part is fine, there are only very nitpicking criticisms. When Tennessee (Danny McBride) is returning to the airlock a transmission strikes him as he is outside the ships signal blocking influence. Once back on the ship the crew inspect the transmission and they find that it is coming from a planet which looks like it was made for humans. When they clear up the transmission Tennessee points out that is clearly ‘Take me home country roads’, one of my favorite points in the movie. Since this planet is much closer than their destination the newly appointed captain decides to check it out.

They arrive at the planet and find that there’s a large ion storm so they make their first stupid decision, like impatient children they just go in anyway despite knowing that the storm will affect communications between the ground team and the mothership. This seems like a ridiculous idea seeing as they know hardly anything about this planet and there is a mysterious human transmission where there shouldn’t be any humans.

When they land on the surface and straight away step out without any helmets. I thought they were stupid in Prometheus taking off their helmets at all, but here they don’t even bother! But we see that they have lots of guns, so who needs helmets, am I right? They now realise that communications aren’t great with the mothership but they decide ‘Hell, let’s go on an adventure!’. I wouldn’t have such a problem with this if they used their common sense later in the film but they never find it so I feel they deserve all their mistakes pointing out.

As they make their way towards the mysterious transmission they find wheat growing, like actual Earth wheat. One guy seems to realise the craziness of this but everyone else just seems to brush it off. And in case you’re wondering, they don’t explain why there’s Earth plants. The team goes all Scooby-Doo and they split up as a scientist and her bodyguard go off to do some good sciencing, which makes sense, she’s doing a better job than most of them! She starts collecting samples when her bodyguard says he needs to take a leak, which turns out to mean ‘I need to go smoke a dubey’. He then proceeds to step on what, to me after playing a lot of Zelda, looks like it could only be a hearty truffle so I’m going to refer to it as such. After stepping on the hearty truffle it releases these spores which are reminiscent of the black goo from Prometheus. These spores apparently have a mind of their own and fly into the guys ear and burrow into his skin.

Elsewhere, the rest of the crew have found the source of the transmission: a crashed engineer ship, the very one we saw Shaw and David leave in at the end of Prometheus. When entering the ship one of the guys (wheat guy I believe) finds and starts poking a hearty truffle which leads to him getting a face full of the spores. But he’s like ‘I’m cool’, and they carry on inside the ship. They get to the cockpit where one of the guys accidently activates a hologram recording of an undiscernible Shaw sending the transmission, even though last time David needed an understanding of the alien language to activate a similar function. But hey, at this point I’m still pretty interested and have hopes that we will soon find out what happened to David and Shaw.

We then go back to science-lady and her bodyguard where he’s not looking so good. They decide to head back to the ship and the others decide to do the same. The science lady and her companion are almost at the ship when he throws up blood on her face, which should been kinda disgusting but it was just funny to me. They are then taken to the med-bay which is very poorly placed up lots of stairs and walkways.

Once in the room the dropship pilot examines the poor guys back which is now doing pretty disturbing things, when his back stuff just pops on her face! She, like any normal person, decides that’s enough of this shit for her and she locks the guy and the scientist in the med bay and runs off to tell her husband, Tennessee. Following this the guy with the ear spores starts wobbling violently until a ‘backburster’ pops out in a pretty gruesome manner. On the floor lies a small pasty alien looking thing which unlike the original chestburster doesn’t flee but takes on a human straight up and mauls the science lady but not before she slips on the pool of blood from the creature’s birth. The pilot returns with a shotgun, because creepy alien babies need to be killed, and she runs in the room where, like a slapstick comedy, she slips on the gore and shoots the ceiling. I mean one person slipping was funny but two is hysterical, especially when they’re trying to scare you. The woman then tries to shoot the baby but keeps missing until she shoots the explosive red barrels that someone carelessly left lying around in a med-bay.

The ship then explodes just as the rest of the crew arrive so that her husband, the Captain, can see her burning body collapse. At this point it feels like these people are having the worst day imaginable and you’ve just got to just laugh as bad things just happen one after another. But remember, wheat guy also had some spores! Although instead of the baby coming out the back, this time he just vomits it up and it runs away. I just want to point out at this point that these creatures have been developing for a maximum of 2 hours and in that time they’ve gone from spores to something the size of a small cat…that’s crazy, but let’s continue.

The crew then set up a camp for the night when they are attacked by the two pasty alien like creatures which have been called neomorphs. The attack begins when one of the neomorphs sneaks up on Daniels and is saved by Walter, the android of the Covenant who is identical physically to David, as he sacrifices his hand for her. The two creatures then go crazy on the crew and some people get killed, but you don’t really care because you only know a couple of them and it’s really dark anyway, so who cares - Death! Excitement! The crew then manages to shoot one of the creatures but the other is scared off by a signal flare which is shot into the sky by a mysterious figure in a cloak. The figure tells them to follow him so they do because he helped them. Daniels must go back for the Captain though as whilst all of this was happening he was still standing by the dropship wreckage crying about his dead wife. I mean I’m just saying, if these neomorph were anything like the original alien then I think they would have silently taken out the guy on his own who’s oblivious to everything around him rather than bumrushing a whole group of dudes with guns, but since these neomorphs seem less intelligent and more feral, I’ll let it slide.

The mysterious figure leads the crew into what appears to be an engineer structure since there are lots of black fossilized bodies around the place. Someone asked whether the neomorph will be able to get in too and the figure reassures them that it can’t. Everybody seems cool with this despite there not being any proper doors or anything. The figure then reveals himself to be David with grown his hair, which I didn’t realise was possible or necessary for an android but who am I to judge Mr Weyland. He reveals that their ship accidently deployed the black goo and in the confusion the ship crashed, killing Shaw! Now at this point I’m really bummed. Firstly because at the end of Prometheus Shaw asked the question ‘why did the engineers create then try to kill us?’ which I think is a good question to ask since it doesn’t make much sense, I mean you don’t make a sandwich then seconds later want to throw it out for no good reason! The second thing that annoyed me was the off-screen death of Shaw. I hate offscreen deaths, especially between films, it’s like Hick’s and Newt dying at the start of Alien cubed, it just feels like a cheap way to get rid of a character who they didn’t have room for.

The crew tries to contact the Covenant but can’t get through the ion storm, which they should have thought about before running onto the planet with guns blazing. At this point, Tennessee is worried about his wife so takes the Covenant in closer to the storm to see if he can contact the rest of the crew because he’s understandably panicky about his wife, who he last heard screaming in horror.

The next part gets a bit weird since David teaches Walter how to play a flute, and although it sounds very strange it seems to fit in with the rest of the film. David then shows Walter the devastation of the city and reveals in a flashback that he purposely released the black Goo onto the engineers and the he supposedly loved Shaw, which is weird. I’d like to point out now that the black goo which supposedly weaponizes life just turned the engineers to burnt looking corpses, which makes what it does even more confusing. I would also like to note how the engineers are just as stupid as the humans since they allowed a warship which carried world destroying black goo to reach the surface despite it being missing for so long and the fact they didn’t even check to see if there were any engineers on board either. So maybe David killed them because they just lack common sense! However, we never do find out why David suddenly decides genocide is what he wants for the engineers. David is disappointed by Walter and for some weird reason he decides to kiss Walter and then kill him, which is actually the scariest part of the film because damn Walter’s creepy android face as he dies!

While David’s with Walter the other, now fully, grown neomorph sneaks into the building through an open window, which isn’t really surprising, and it decapitates some woman who, if I’m honest, I didn’t recognise. David then finds the neomorph and tries to befriend the creature. The Captain sees this display and shoots the neomorph, because you know, it’s already killed people. The Captain then shows some more initiative and asks David for answers. David leads him to a laboratory where we see similar neomorphs that have been dissected. David explains that he’s been studying the black goo and perfecting the life it created. Now at this part any normal person would take out David cause he’s being a crazy man but the Captain just plays along which leads to the most ridiculous part of the film. David says he’ll show the Captain the results of his experiment as he leads him to a room full of alien eggs. And the Captain is still pretty chill, it’s like he completely forgot about what the pasty aliens were like. One of the eggs then open and David says ‘look! It’s perfectly safe I assure you’, why this man trusts this guy nobody will ever know but next thing we know…there’s a facehugger on the guy.

Now at this point Tennessee is way too close to the ion storm but it pays off since the crew get a message through and Tennessee prepares an industrial crane thing to pick the crew up since they only had one dropship on such a big ship (makes sense right). Anyway, some time passes, like 5 minutes maybe, the Captain wakes up and immediately a chestburster pops out! Usually this takes several hours but Alien: Covenant doesn’t care. What’s more is the chestburster isn’t the pasty worm like creature that we are familiar with, but for some reason it’s just a really small alien which looks like a cross between an alien and Baby Groot.

Now the rest of the crew go looking for all the missing people and they find David’s laboratory along with what looks like Shaw’s dissected body. They go into the room with the eggs and unlike the Captain, they realise that they should probably start running. However, one of the guys gets a facehugger latched onto him but luckily before it gets on properly his friend cuts it off, causing him to get acid on his face! Unfortunately, his hero friend pulls the short straw as he gets ambushed by a fully-grown alien…. that’s right, in the space of like 5 minutes a tiny Baby Groot Alien grows to 7 foot! Ridley Scott just disregards the other movies and just reduces the alien’s growth from egg to full size to about 10 minutes, I swear it takes longer than this in the AVP movies! At least the alien is acting right its hiding and waiting to ambush but this doesn’t make up for everything else that has happened.

While this is happening David and Daniels are fighting and, suddenly, David kisses Daniels! Was David really horny after being alone for 10 years? It really makes no sense. But Daniels is saved at the last moment by Walter who, being an upgrade from David, has a self-repair function and knows his moves! This leads to a pretty cool fight between two Michael Fassbenders as Daniels makes her escape. As the two fight, we see Walter on top about to finish David, yet before we see him finish it we’re shown David’s hand reaching for a knife…and the scene cuts, totally not insinuating anything.

Tennessee reaches the surface just in time for everyone to get on board. Those people being Burny face guy, Daniels and now David who is dressed like Walter who I guess we’re supposed to think is Walter but after not showing a death and David going for the knife it’s pretty obvious what’s happened. As the dropship takes off the alien manages to get on board. Daniels being a badass decides to take it on. What follows is some crazy antics and flying action where Daniels is being tossed around in ways which would kill most humans and the alien being crushed in a crane jaw thing.

They return to the ship and everybody is happy and nobody checks Walter despite him being identical to David who is a crazy android who wants to kill everyone. They patch up burny face guy with some playdoh and relax…But wait! It’s not over, the alarms go off since they detect an unknown lifeform on the ship. A strange piece of technology which would have been useful in Aliens so they could have known about that Queen sneaking on-board but hey I hear technology gets worse in the future. Anyway, Daniels and Tennessee go to investigate, only to find burny face guy all dead and chestbursted. Once again, this film can’t even keep to its own canon of gestation time since this guy would have had the alien in him for at least 30 minutes or maybe even an hour! What’s more, this guy never was properly facehugged. The facehugger needs to knock you out in order to get the eggs inside you since otherwise you’d throw them up, and not only that but as we’ve seen in all the alien films (including this one), the facehugger takes time to implant the eggs it can’t do it in a couple of seconds! But anyway, the super helpful computer knows where the alien is heading which is towards the only other crew left, who are having a shower at this point. We then see them get snuck up on by a fully-grown alien who takes them out. I think if this scene was somewhere else it would be great perfect sneaky alien and a good way to sneak up on people. I mean I can kinda justify the fact they didn’t hear the alarms, but this one scene can’t save a whole movie. Enough of the praising because I’m not sure if you notice but the alien has grown up even faster this time, it’s gone from chestburster to 7-foot alien in about 2 minutes or 3 at the max, and presumably without eating! Either that was one heavy baby or these aliens are just balloons that just puff themselves up after they pop out.

Anyway, Daniels and Tennessee find the carnage and Daniels has a plan. They lure the alien to the terraforming bay and trap it in a truck to send it out the back into space. Once again, if not for the rest of the film this would have been cool, but it’s not over yet of course. Tennessee gets put into hyper sleep and as Walter puts Daniels in her pod she finally figures out that it’s actually David, but it’s too late.

David then proceeds to go to an embryo holding tray and reguritates up a couple of baby facehuggers trapped in bouncy balls….no joke. Tiny facehuggers that can fit in your palm and incased in a clear sack. I mean at this point I want to exclaim “what are these…Facehuggers for ants?!” because this is just ridiculous. And talking about these facehuggers, why can’t the omnipotent ship computer not detect them or for that matter detect David not being Walter? So to end it we’re left questioning what will happen next, and also, for me at least, how did you screw it up so bad?

So, I want to summarise some of the main problems with this film. Firstly, everyone is really stupid, they need better scientists in the future. Secondly, David’s motives are never explained, what made him so crazy on the way to the engineer planet that he killed Shaw and committed genocide on a whole species. Thirdly, they completely screwed up the alien’s life cycle by shortening its growth to minutes which makes it unrealistic even for a sci-fi. And relating to that they made the once mysterious and ancient creature a product of a human creation since humans created David who created the aliens. Fourthly, it contradicts the other films, I was a cheesed off when the engineer’s elephant faces turned out to be masked but this time they actually change the lore. Now the ‘fossilised’ space jockey from the first film is less than 20 years old and for some reason is carrying eggs created by David, it doesn’t make much sense at all. Also it contradicts the painting we saw in Prometheus of an alien in the dreadnaught, the alien skull in Predator 2 and the AVP films (although they’re awful they’re still pretty fun) not to mention it strips the aliens of their mystery and did I mention those eggs on LV-426 must have been there less than 20 years! And the last problem is the technology being more advanced than it is in the future, but only diehard fans of alien will understand my pain.

This film could have been so great! For example, if David had found the eggs in a lock up on the planet, it would have kept some mystery. When David and Walter were fighting, they could have made us actually think David was killed so that the reveal would have actually been good.

I don’t just criticise it for no reason, I want to criticize it so Ridley Scott will make a worthy Alien prequel, hell in my opinion Prometheus was better than Alien Covenant since it didn’t have repercussions for the entire alien universe!

#aliencovenant #alien #ridleyscott #alien covenant #alien covenant review #film review

[minnievirizarry]

#NoTwoDays: A Day in the Life of Pete Haas of PCMag

“Well, no two days are alike.” That is a common response to the question marketers get on a weekly basis: “What is your typical day like?”

From unexpected deadlines to mini firestorms, every day brings new hurdles to overcome and questions to answer. And while there will always be the standard items on our to-do lists, the reality of our world is that of unpredictability. It is what makes marketing both exhilarating and exacting.

In the spirit of embracing the unique nature of what a day in the life of marketers embody, we’re thrilled to share our new series #NoTwoDays. We’ll examine a day of a fellow marketer to discover how they adapt to change, incorporate routine and balance their workload–all while maintaining a life outside of the office.

We’re excited to kick things off with avid gamer Pete Haas, social media manager at PCMag. Because no two days are ever the same, here’s a (edited for clarity) day in the life of Pete:

MORNING

6 a.m.: I’d love to say I’m one of those guys hitting tires with a sledgehammer at CrossFit at 5 a.m. The truth is, though, I need to be practically dragged out of bed. Every day, my wife wakes me up before she heads off to work. I make her tea and my coffee and then see her off.

7:30 a.m.: While I’m getting ready for work, my nose is in my phone. After checking the office Slack chat, I head right to Twitter. If I see some worthwhile tech news to share with the team, that’s great but it’s not the goal. My brain is still limping along at this point so I’m just looking for anything—dumb GIFs, good one-liners, whatever—to give me a jumpstart. This morning, it’s a video of a cat climbing on a cameraman while he films a documentary.

8-ish a.m.: I leave my apartment building and hear a car blaring “Ignition (Remix)” by R. Kelly. This is a good journal day.

8:35 a.m.: The train gods smile on me and I’m in the PCMag office early. We have an editor in the UK so there are already some news stories waiting to be pushed to Facebook and Twitter. I schedule the stories out and then for yesterday. I then scan Reddit, a few competing sites and Facebook’s trending topics to see if there’s any juicy news out there.

8:40 a.m.: I take pictures of some of my desk knick-knacks for this article. These precious artifacts include a Chewbacca figure, a wooden dabbing robot (I have no idea where that’s from) and a sketch of Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid on a Post-It. My desk also has a Radtkebuck, a fake currency emblazoned with my coworker’s face.

8:45 a.m.: “I’m also very curious what browser tabs you have open during the day,” says no one. Slack, work and personal Gmail, Facebook, Twitter, Chartbeat, and my social scheduling apps Sprout and Tailwind. Tailwind is for Pinterest and Sprout is for everything else.

9 a.m.: The editors for PCMag, Geek.com and ExtremeTech meet to go over yesterday’s traffic and social stats. We also discuss what news stories we’re seeing, some of which will be part of our morning Facebook show.

9:45 a.m.: I head over to the small studio we’ve carved out of our office for live Facebook shows. Every weekday at 10am EST, we broadcast a show called “Random Access” where our analysts discuss the hottest tech news and then show off a product we’re reviewing. Today’s show has something for everyone.

Apple just announced a new iPad and some town in China is using facial recognition to catch toilet paper thieves. Our featured product is the Olympus OM-D E-M1 Mark II, a new mirrorless camera. Before the show, I set up the broadcasting software for the show, promote it and do sound checks for the hosts.

10 a.m.: “Random Access” goes live. During the broadcast, I chat with our Facebook viewers and relay their questions to hosts.

10:30 a.m.: Show’s over. Back to my desk to schedule out more content. As PCMag and Geek.com publish articles, I toss the links into a spreadsheet. Once I schedule them, I delete them. My stress level rises and falls depending on how many articles I’ve got pending.

11:30 a.m.: Once Facebook and Twitter have a healthy queue of content, I turn to Instagram and Pinterest. Most people seem to think Pinterest is just a bunch of cupcake recipes and wedding dress pictures. But like Instagram, it’s a product-focused network with a strong tech community so it’s a great fit for us. I use Canva to make quick edits on our in-house photos to get them ready for each network.

AFTERNOON

12:15 p.m.: Lunch! My wife and I made pressure cooker chicken and black bean stew this week. It looks like swamp mud because of the black beans but it’s go—mn delicious. While I’m eating, I read “Mass Effect: Andromeda” reviews and get sad that the game’s not living up to the years of hype. Then I remember I still have “Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild” at home and I get less sad.

1:30 p.m.: It’s time for another live show. We often have tech leaders stop by the office for interviews and today it’s GE’s VP of Software Research Dr. Colin Parris. He shares some really fascinating insights about artificial intelligence, self-driving cars and more.

2 p.m.: Scheduling, scheduling, scheduling. The stream of stories includes an editorial about the new electronics ban for airlines and a comparison of the new iPad to previous models. While knocking out this work, I take some time to make fun of Iron Fist with coworkers.

3 p.m.: Live show number three. Every Tuesday, two of our office’s phone experts host a show called “Dialed In.” Google decided to announce the new version of Android a few hours earlier so our hosts have plenty to talk about.

3:50 p.m.: “You’re not supposed to drink coffee after 4 p.m.” is a rule I may have made up. Whatever, it sounds legit. I run to Dunkin Donuts and get a comically large and cheap iced coffee. I slug it down while scheduling out Facebook and Twitter for the rest of the day.

(In addition to coffee, Seagram’s Seltzer Water is a regular with Pete.)

5:30 p.m.: I get drawn into a wide-ranging discussion with two coworkers about video games. We bounce from “Mass Effect: Andromeda” to “Knights of the Old Republic” to “No Man’s Sky” to “Elite Dangerous.” It gives me untold amounts of joy to be surrounded by people that are as nerdy as me.

EVENING

6:45 p.m.: Finally back home. I order Thai food. While waiting for the delivery, I do a few pending tasks from work. For example, I schedule a review video for Samsung’s new tablet for tomorrow morning.

7:15 p.m.: I should’ve taken a picture of my Pad Kee Mao but it didn’t survive long enough.

7:30 p.m.: My wife and I binge-watch several episodes of “Rick and Morty”. I realize this is going to make the article sound like elaborate sponsored content for “Rick and Morty” but it’s one of the funniest and most innovative shows on TV right now and you should absolutely check it out. The side benefit to watching something this entertaining is that it keeps me off Slack and Twitter for awhile.

10 p.m.: The day ends as it began, with me glued to my phone. I spend about 30 minutes reading issues of “Amazing Spider-Man” issues on my phone and then go to sleep.

So what do you think of Pete’s day? Questions? Comments? Keep the conversation going by using the hashtag #NoTwoDays and share your story!

This post #NoTwoDays: A Day in the Life of Pete Haas of PCMag originally appeared on Sprout Social.

from SM Tips By Minnie http://sproutsocial.com/insights/notwodays-pete-haas/

[thatpainting]

2016 Games in Review

Welp, the worst year in recent memory has wrapped up. I don’t know if that rubbed off on me or not, but personally this was a very bittersweet year in gaming. Lots of disappointing sequels highlighted by great original games.

13.) Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright

I feel sad for the Fire Emblem franchise. Awakening had its problems, but it was still a decent game that recognized the fundamentals of the franchise. This game, on the other hand, decided “Eff that, lets get rid of weapon durability”. By doing this, they “solved” the problem of making the more powerful weapons, that you could now use as much as you want, have detrimental effects. It doesn’t make the game feel more strategic, but instead makes it feel like you are being penalized for using these stronger weapons, where in other games these were a reward to be used when your character had the stats to wield them properly, or when you had the money to burn. The protagonist also falls into the character trope that I hate the most: the useless idealist, who has no strategic insight or reason to be a leader other than “These guys are wrong, we have to stop them!”. Finally, the game still hasn’t balanced the stats formula, with only a couple units in the army being survivable. I should not have a character who focuses on speed be in the endgame and have a 50% chance of being one-shot by a character with a weapon triangle disadvantage. I could go on for many more paragraphs about subtle things that make this a bad game, but I’ll stop myself here. The game still does some interesting things, such as the myriad of stat changing weapons and skills as well as some of the classes, but it is unfortunate that they exist in a game that I don’t want to play.

12.) Undertale

Now, I didn’t get too far into Undertale, so I know I’m selling it short considering some of the stuff I’ve heard about in the later parts of the game. However, the start of this game is bad enough that I didn’t want to continue. The puzzles are not interesting, and while the random encounters are engaging, they are very one-note, making every subsequent encounter with the same enemy group nothing more than an annoyance considering you get basically nothing from battles. Speaking of which, the bullet-hell “combat” is inventive, but not something that I personally liked. Finally, and I know this is the most minor of nitpicks, the part at the beginning where you are told to not leave a room for a while has no payoff if you do so. I stayed in there for an hour and nothing happened, which is pretty surprising for a game that is supposedly as subversive as this one is.

11.) XCOM 2

More like XCOM 2-buggy-and-unoptimized-to-run-properly, amiright? This game solidly improves upon the base mechanics of it’s prequel, and introduces the genius character pool mechanic, however it suffers from the same problems that the first one did: Not enough customization, not enough steps in the gear upgrade path and a host of bugs (technical ones, not the Crysallids). Also, no controller support at launch was a bummer considering how natural that felt in the previous one. This is a textbook example of a game feeling like it was rushed to market.

10.) Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest

Take everything I said about Birthright, but add some actually very interesting map designs. The protagonist was far better in this version, they come off as cunning and overcome far more hardships than the Birthright counterpart. Still, the core gameplay is not compelling, and frustrated me enough that I did not want to play Revelations. I really, REALLY hope that the series can get on track, 6 through 10 are great strategy games, but I remain convinced that Intelligent Systems will continue to be satisfied putting more effort into writing wacky, trope-filled characters than actually making a strategy game that involves strategy.

9.) Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma

Disappointing is the best word for this game. I loved the first two entries into the Zero Escape series, and this does not deliver. The gameplay is very similar to VLR, but because we’ve seen it before it comes off as repetitive and uninspired, where in VLR it felt fresh and innovative, though I suppose this is only natural for a game that relies on twists and subversion as much as this one. The characters aren’t particularly well realized, especially the returning ones (And seriously Japan, do you have to put a character with gigantic, revealed breasts in every game? C’mon). The twists in this game range from jaw-dropping, to pretty stupid, to completely illogical and cheap. The plot also relied too much on a “get out of jail free” lore thing, and tries to make everything fit together by force more than by naturally introducing thoughtful concepts. Not a fitting end to an amazing series, and while I am glad that it was able to be made, it makes the series hard to recommend.

8.) Phoenix Wright: Spirit of Justice

This just felt like the series is spinning its wheels. The game focuses on the two aspects of the Ace Attorney series that I like the least: the spiritual aspect and Apollo Justice. As opposed to the previous game in the series, which had a good amount of focus on the three different attorneys, there is barely any Athena in this game. Also, for how much they advertised that Maya returned in this game, she is also barely in the game. Finally, the new prosecutor is completely unlikable with a super predictable story arc. Sure, the gameplay is fine and the story takes some interesting turns, but I play these games for the characters, and they disappointed in this iteration.

7.) The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds

When I first heard that this game was being made, I was furious. A Link to the Past is my favourite Zelda game, and a game that just aimed to recapture nostalgia and not innovate sounded like a terrible move. However, the game hearkens back to the original LoZ by being somewhat non-linear, and this works in its favour to create a fresh experience despite using basically the same map, and some similar dungeons, to A Link to the Past. Also, even though the nostalgia grab was obvious from the outset, I still fell for it, hard. Running around the similar areas, hearing the updated versions of the music just put a smile on my face. The biggest problem with this game is that it is way too easy. I understand this to some extent, it is a Nintendo game after all, but the puzzles and combat are not engaging enough to offset this.

6.) Pokémon Sun

The biggest knock against this game is the longer-than-an-Alola-Exeggutor tutorial. At this point in the series, there should just be an option to streamline the beginning of the game for veterans of the series. Also, the heavier focus on story made the game feel more railroad-y, and the Rotom dex sucks (I could go the rest of my life without having a quipy sidekick in games). Still, at the end of the day, it is a solid Pokémon game that adds interesting new Pokémon, and the Alola forms are a much better spin on older Pokémon than goddamn Mega evolutions. I wouldn’t mind playing through the game again with a different team, but unfortunately there is still ONLY ONE SAVE SLOT GODDAMNIT.

5.) Rocket League

I got to this game early in the year, and thought that it would probably top the list. Crazy how this year went, yeah? The only problem I had with this game is that it is so much better playing with people that you know, so I never wanted to play with random people. This made the game unsustainable for me, as I rarely had the time to get people together to play. The core gameplay is just so solid, and it does what many great games do in that when you mess up, you know what it is that you did wrong, as well as the inverse. The developers are also doing great work, pioneering cross-platform play and continuing to improve the game with free content. This game led to the most hype moments of the year, and remains one that I would love to go back to.

4.) Overwatch

This is the game that I spent the most time on this year, and for good reason. Overwatch bleeds colour and personality, with every character feeling unique and fun to play (Except McCree. Fuck McCree). The game does a great job of making each game feel very team-focused, with the expected pros and cons. Playing with friends is great, while randoms can be assholes. While I am not a fan of some of their business decisions, especially regarding the Summer Games event, they seem to be listening to the community enough to feel good about the game’s future. I would also like to see more content out of Blizzard more quickly for the game: more maps, more characters, and more cosmetics not tied to seasonal events.

3.) Jackbox Party Pack 3

A true achievement in gaming, the Jackbox Party Pack continues to impress. This pack doesn’t have any duds in it like the first two; every game is worth playing more than once. Murder Trivia Party has style, Guesspionage is a great concept, Fakin’ It is great provided you have 5 or more people, Quiplash 2 remains awesome, and Tee-KO may be the best game they have ever made. There wasn’t a game that I had more fun with this year, and the only complaint that I have is that it would be nice if the games supported more than 8 people.

2.) Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective

Holy crap, this was a breath of fresh air after Phoenix Wright 6. The art and animation are superb, something that is quite noteworthy for a DS game. The puzzles aren’t that deep, but are inventive and fun to solve. The story is a great example of trickling out information to the player in a way that makes them want to keep playing, and the twists and payoffs in this game are some of the most mindblowing that I’ve ever seen. It is an exceptional self-contained experience, and while I don’t necessarily want a sequel, I would love to see this team try to tackle more original ideas.

1.) The Witness

This is the best designed game that I’ve played in a very long time. Everything feels so purposeful, and for a game with no written text it conveys the puzzle elements perfectly. The game is also beautiful visually, and while the island is relatively small, it is packed to the brim with puzzles and stunning visual areas. The shading deserves special mention, as it makes everything look awesome. While at times the game was frustrating, overcoming puzzles that I was stuck on for days was incredibly satisfying. I’ve heard some disdain for the philosophy stuff that is scattered around the game, but for me it worked, as it wasn’t necessarily laid out in an argumentative fashion, but instead was just there to make you think. I finished every panel in the game (except for one), and even though I could probably play hundreds more puzzles, I still feel satisfied with the experience.

That wraps up the games that I played in 2016. 2017 is going to be a huge transitional year for me, as I am wrapping up school and plan on getting into the games industry. This will surely change how I play games and how frequently I am able to play them, but it is a change that I am anxious to experience.

#2016 in gaming #year in review #game reviews