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toadandtails · 2 years

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why is edgeworth’s ass so pronounced

#PHOENIX CANT SEE IT MAN #HES ON THE OTHER SIDE #no wonder phoenix became a lawyer cause :hearteyes:#/J #im kidding dont kill #ace attorney #phoenix wright #maya fey #miles edgeworth #phoenix wright: ace attorney #aa #pw:aa #wrightworth #kind of #im using that tag for likes :)#shitpost #img #toad croaks

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grieving-angel-hopeful-demon · 1 month

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The Devil

#mushroom tarot toads #mario toad #toad oc #they're a divorced lawyer #because i think its funny

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dimity-lawn · 1 year

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Note: I have yet to read Making Money (I think that's the one with a new lawyer?) and I'm only on season 2 of Better Call Saul, so this will be updated at a later date.

Toad and Mr. Slant - Discworld (various)

Saul Goodman/Jimmy McGill - Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul

Ned Gowan - Outlander

Karl Weathers - Fargo (season 2)

Side Note: the same actors that played Ned Gowan and Karl Weathers (Bill Paterson and Nick Offerman, respectively) also played R.P. Tyler, Neighborhood Watch and Thaddeus Dowling, American Ambassador in Good Omens.

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emmuhhhhhhhh · 1 year

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Petition for a driver to make a white helmet with perfect red spots so when they do the perch™ it's my man Toad from Super Mario Bros.

The helmet perch™, for context:

#f1 #mario #!?#Super mario bros #to be exact #should i tag Nintendo too?#ok #nintendo #mario kart #anyway i would die for this #but i'd imagine it's trademarked :(#white w red spots isnt explicitly toad tho #idk i'm not a lawyer

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beakerhoneydew · 2 years

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Paul Heyman truly is the funniest wwe character. He's really just a little bitch and a lawyer. Why is he here.

#like there is no reason some toad lookin lawyer needs to show up regularly but he sure does #wwe

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doctorsiren · 2 months

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little idea for the mini au of Phoenix prosecutor

what if von karma somehow found out that Phoenix and Miles were friends when they were children (maybe hearing him talk about a certain Phoenix when he was a child or whatever) and upon knowing that Phoenix was going to be a prosecutor he decided to take him in as a student to have a replacement for what Edgeworth was going to be and at the same time have someone who was close to him at one point to tease him about leaving his path and his teachings when becoming a defense lawyer or something like that idk

I just want to give ideas because I like the au a lot jaja salu2

I want you to know that I was literally thinking the exact same thing…and then while I was in the middle of drawing this, @wrathofthestars said in the reblog tags basically the exact same thing BUT they also mentioned the bit about Phoenix writing Edgeworth all those letters WHICH WAS WILD BECAUSE I HAD ALREADY DRAWN THAT PAGE BEFORE THEY SAID THAT

Anyways great minds think alike

Instead of Manfred manipulating Phoenix the way he manipulated Miles (i.e. being awful, psychologically abusive, etc.), he goes the opposite route and manipulates Phoenix in a similar way to how Dahlia (and later in typical canon, how Kristoph Gavin) manipulated Phoenix (i.e. praise, attention, etc.). It’s the fastest way to get control of Phoenix and get him to trust Manfred.

Also I hate drawing this toad man 😭😭😭

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magnetictapedatastorage · 9 months

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satirical collection of modern acronyms, date unk. (c 80s-90s), textfiles.com

MODERN ACRONYMS OINKs one income, no kids DINKs double income, no kids PINKs private income, no kids LINCs low income, nine cats NINKs no income, nine kids DUDs demographically undesirable divorcee PODs punks on dope YAMs young assholes on mopeds SLIFs still living in the fifties SLITS still living in the sixties SHITs suburban heterosexuals in town to swing CANTs corporate animals, no talent SIMPs sexually inactive male professionals MIDGETs mentally inferior divorced guys expecting terrific sex TOADs tennis-obsessed advanced-degree holders RUGs rich ugly guys DRUGs dumb rich ugly guys SACs sixties acid casualties SIPs single-income pot smokers DORKs damned overpaid Republican know-it-alls FDAs former drug abusers YANKs young assholes, no kids NERDs nervous evangelicals, recently defrocked SOBs son of the boss CPAs car phone assholes WIGGs women into gay guys BICEPs bisexual college-educated professionals AWOLs always working-out at lunch time SLIMEs single lawyers into money and exercise RAMBOs right-wingers afraid of Mexicans, blacks and Orientals

#im sorry but SLIMES took me out #textfiles.com #bbs

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rbvcdeluxe · 6 days

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Step On Your Grave Demo Song lyrics (For your viewing and listening pleasure)

(under the cut)

I was raised

To be appraised

My path was paved

My dress was made

A princess bride to be

Oh

And then the day

It never came

A fitted dude

In a suit?

No, a stepmother for me

Oh

And I know now that I am no lawyer

So I'm leaning on natural law

If it wanted to scale the balance

Towards my cause…

I'd thank my stars!

Cuz I wish you nothin' but defeat

And I want nothin' for you but the least

And I know you're wishin' that I'd be sweet and behave

I want to step on your grave

I don't know how much maggot soup I can make!

A cup of toes

A dash of mold

A half a toad

It needs oregano!

There's only so many frog guts a girl can take

A hundred gnats

A pinch of rat

One whole cat?

To hell with that

And I know now I might need a lawyer

Cuz I've been forced to break a few legs

And if I wanted to sharpen my cleaver

On this day

Oh, I got names!

Cuz I wish you nothin' but defeat

And I want nothin' for you but the least

And I know you're trippin'

That I might switch and be brave

I wanna walk all over, lose composure

Step on Stepmother's godforsaken grave!

I don't know how it'll come to be

But I'll see you under my feet, so deep

Where even hell couldn't reach!

Lord give me a reason

Not to smite these demons

With my father's sword in legion!

Oh my god, I'm gonna need ya!

Help my souls remove these lesions

God, see the treasons they brought upon my house

They brought upon my house

I was raised

To be appraised

Path was paved

Dress was made

A princess bride to be

Oh

#starkid #cinderella’s castle #lyrics

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kirbykonka · 16 days

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Stone Ocean things I would have liked to see, as a Floridian:

—forgetting that it’s winter because it’s literally 70 degrees. 80 degrees on Christmas isn’t uncommon but it is disappointing every time it happens

—blaming deaths on not just alligators, but also pythons (works well around the Everglades)

—the fashion sense of the characters actually isn’t that far off

—they must say “y’all”

—unless it’s in South FL you’ll be seen as a traitor

—walking outside in summer and being hit with a miasma of mosquitos and heat and moisture that will make you feel like you’re being eaten alive (because you are being eaten alive)

—hitting someone with your car is so easy with wet roads

—FL judicial system is on fleek and after all the crazy shit people do lawyers are so done with us

—strip malls. No one goes there except middle aged mothers shopping for shoes or perfume.

—The real teenage hangout place is Walmart. I am not joking. I have been there many times after school and on weekends and every single time we’d go there were other kids our age.

—we don’t even buy anything most times we just walk around

—everyone is poor af unless you’re south (Miami and the Keys)

—in Miami/Tampa/Jax or any big city people also won’t go to strip malls because there’s a 50/50 on whether or not they get shot up

—we hunt pythons seasonally since they are invasive, you can win prizes for this. I feel like Jolyne and Ermes would enjoy that hobby

—four-wheeling. More of a southern USA thing as a whole, but there are miles of open tracks to take your ATV out to. Very fun with friends where you can race and see who DOESNT stall their four wheeler in a lake

—snakes in the backyard, they’re EVERYWHERE. Could have been so easy for them to chase an albino Burmese python thinking it was White Snake 😭

—toads coming out at the beginning of spring and making every little kid so happy that they have prey again, Emporio is def a frog hunter

—when the toads are hibernating we go after lizards instead, Emporio again is def a lizard hunter

—the monkeys loose in the woods. I’ll let you research that on your own.

—thrift stores are full of winter clothing because of all the northerners who migrate down here, Weather Report must have gotten only those 💀

—you’ll know a prison is nearby because there will be a road sign saying “don’t stop for hitchhikers”

—There is no such thing as a clean beach

—marshland is more common than dirt

—“dirt” here is basically just sand there are zero minerals in it so it’s hella hard to farm

—DUST. EVERYWHERE. BUT ITS ALSO SO HOT YOULL DIE. BUT ITS ALSO WET SO YOULL MELT.

—humidity is constantly over 80%, that means you’re going to sweat no matter what you do

—and for last, the Florida man “memes” aren’t memes at all. That’s actually what people are like here. We have had kids expelled for slashing tires, we have had people arrested for driving gaming chairs, we have had snakes eat people whole.

Florida is literally hell itself.

And we are all so proud to be here.

This has been my Floridian PSA, thank you for reading 🥰

#stone ocean #jjba #jolyne cujoh #jjba jolyne #jjba weather report #jjba ermes #jjba stone ocean #jjba part 6 #jjba headcanons #stone ocean headcannons #florida #jjba memes

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birlwrites · 17 days

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Hello! I'm still vaguely bouncing off the walls because music(!!!).

"but for me singing is much more about technique/performance than it is about songwriting. it probably creeps out in my writing in how i talk about things like breathing, but they occupy very different parts of my brain"- birl

Breathing patterns definitely feature in your texts as of notice. Other characters certifiably breath and vary their tone of voice! It's on Regulus' radar even! Clothes are not, people are sometimes faceless indistinct voiceboxes to Regulus measure purely in proximity to himself and what he thinks of that (people and Evan and Barty and Sirius that is, but Evan particularly gets the full picture of himself picked up on, he should be honoured).

In ATFHV/TTDL specifically, or else just close to the original setting, so discounting your two separate music-centred aus, who actually plays an instrument/cares about music/sings (to whatever level of expertise you want to specify).

I seem to recall Evan probably does as a Rosier(TM) necessity to perform but nothing else off the top of my head. I know none of them have a toad that would allow them to participate in that particular interspecies choir.

Feel free to take your time, of course, I'm simply curious.

western classical singing is really about a balance of physical tension and relaxation designed to make a lot of stuff happen while also making it look very easy/unstrained and that's regulus all over tbh

one of the things that i find so funny is the idea of sirius being. an incredibly annoyingly loud child. will never shut the fuck up. rules-lawyers everything within an inch of its life. all his games he made up involve destruction/yelling/crashing. this means i think he definitely learned violin when he was little and was So Bad At It that orion and walburga quietly changed their minds about that one

just like. HORRIBLE SCREECHING NOISES FROM SIRIUS'S ROOM AT THREE IN THE MORNING

sirius: *was so bad at violin that his parents didn't even try to get his younger brother to learn an instrument*

the rosiers are more ~patrons~ of musicians than they are musicians themselves - evan can plunk out some simple tunes on a keyboard, but he didn't really formally study piano. he can talk a lot about performance and interpretation though

i have a whole roster of people in the hogwarts choir but none of our important characters are in it afjlshgjkjf

my brain is vibrating re this topic but i'm also sleepy aghlkshgkjsdf i may have more thoughts later but i shall post this as primary thoughts!!

#dark lord wip #should i make an inbox tag

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tomorrowusa · 2 months

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Part of a Trump fundraising message poorly disguised as a love letter to Melania. I'm sure most wives get Valentine's Day cards from husbands who use their middle initials when signing the greeting. ✍🏼🤭

Trump Campaign Roasted For Fundraising Off Unhinged Valentine's Day 'Love Letter' To Melania

The Donald is going to need to do a lot of fundraising thanks to spiraling legal judgements against him.

The Donald Trump Fire Sale Starts Now

Donald Trump’s companies have filed for bankruptcies six times, but now he may actually be about to go broke. On Friday, a New York judge penalized the former president $355 million after finding him liable for lying about his wealth and the value of his properties in New York — and that’s before pre-judgment interest charges, which according to the New York Attorney General’s office, adds another $100 million or so. Then there’s the $4 million owed by Eric Trump and Don Jr. each — which, come on, whose money is that really? The giant liabilities are due in part to Trump and his organization’s “complete lack of remorse,” Justice Arthur Engoron ruled, as well as for its deterrent effect: Trump and the Trump Organization’s officers were “likely to continue their fraudulent ways unless the Court grants significant injunctive relief.” Add this to the $88 million he owes writer E. Jean Carroll for defaming her, twice, and Trump owes roughly $540 million. That would wipe out almost his entire estimated cash pile and vaporize about a sixth of his total net worth. Trump can afford this, but he is probably going to have to sell something big. His net worth, according to both Forbes and Bloomberg, is between $2.6 and $3.1 billion, but most of that is tied up in his buildings and other properties. His cash pile is about $600 million, Bloomberg estimates, and he cannot use campaign or political-action-committee money to pay these fines. Some of his attorneys’ fees can be paid for with money that he’s raised from donors, but it’s not clear what money is paying for which lawyers between the four criminal cases he’s fighting off.

Here are some ways Trump could raise money to keep from going bankrupt for a seventh time.

Since his ex-wife Ivana is already buried there, he could turn Trump National Golf Club at Bedminster into a MAGA cemetery. Heirs of people who die from listening to Trump's quack COVID-19 advice will want their loved ones interred under the BEST sand traps.

Mar-a-Lago could be leased for the filming of the next season of Naked and Afraid. Unclothed contestants would have to survive hazards such as Dinesh D'Souza film festivals, Rudy Giuliani's alcoholic rants, and Nick Fuentes/Kanye West Groyper dinner parties.

Trump could franchise his own national chain of spray-on tanning salons which would leave customers looking as orange as him from head to toe.

Only Fans. Tens of millions of MAGA followers may be willing to pay to see "Toad" for themselves.

#donald trump #fundraising #legal costs #court judgements against trump #trump's money troubles #love letter to melania #election 2024

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just-a-really-good-lawyer · 1 year

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Stephanie sighed as she took another sip from her coffee. She was about three seconds from turning J Jonah Jameson into a toad. Which frankly wouldn’t help anything.

Instead she had talked to Happy. Who had reccomend a lawyer in the Devil’s Kitchen.

So now she rode the bus under a spell to stay disguised. The cloak of levitation posing as a red leather Jacket.

She got off at her stop and headed inside the building.

“Hello I’m looking for Matt Murdock?” She asked.

@stephanie-strange

“Take a seat, he’ll be right with you.” The secretary said with a smile. A couple of minutes later a man with sunglasses on with a cane walked out one of the offices.

“Matt Murdock.” He said holding his hand out. “You are…?”

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thoroughlymodernminutia · 1 year

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-Eastside, 1999

Bury me with this movie because I'm taking it to HELL!

First, let me tell you that I purchased a DVD of this for like $5 and the shipping was $6. Also realizing I didn't own a DVD player, I bought one of those too. Much cheaper than they were like 12 years ago!

Moving on. The tag line of this movie is: Prison was bad, the streets of L.A. were worse. Well I got news folks, this movie is worse than both!

As you can see above Mario Lopez is in this and he plays Antonio Lopez (could they not think of a different last name?). He's released from prison and goes to this brother's office. His brother is played by he actor who played the husband of Andrea from 90210. His brother is also a lawyer and doesn't really want anything to do with him. But Mario shows up to a club and his brother is there - because it turns out his brother is a CRIMINAL attorney (criminal with two meanings here guys). So for whatever reason A.C. Slater is given a job at the club and our sweet little man Maurice also works there. Maurice plays "Toad." Toad is...real dumb to put it mildly. Not cut out for criminal activity at all.

Moving this along, Mario "Before you vote: Go grocery shopping, gas up your car, pay your bills, look at your 401K. Then vote" Lopez becomes an integral part of this criminal enterprise. However, he also meets a girl and it turns out that the girl is the granddaughter of the guy that runs the community center. This is really the main plot point, because Lopez's boss wants to pave paradise and put up a parking lot - ie he wants to tear down the community center to build something that will make him money. Well, he kills the grandpa and then Mario has a change of heart and i guess doesn't want to be a criminal anymore.

So let me just list the dead people - community center guy, mario's brother, our guy Toad of course, and some other's who i don't care about looking up. Mario gets shot in the end and for a second I was like, oh good, he's annoying, but then it fades out and then fades into a little while later and he's working at the community center because he saved it. And there is a like an end card dedicating this movie to the children of East Los Angeles....which dear god could you have dedicated a WORSE movie to them?!

I have some more gifs from this that will be posted randomly to haunt this place.

#maurice compte #eastside #90s movies #the 90s #90s films #movie gifs #queued

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dimity-lawn · 1 year

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Note: I have yet to read Making Money (I think that's the one with a new lawyer?) and I'm only on season 2 of Better Call Saul, so this will be updated at a later date.

Toad and Mr. Slant - Discworld (various)

Saul Goodman/Jimmy McGill - Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul

Ned Gowan - Outlander

Karl Weathers - Fargo (season 2)

Side Note: the same actors that played Ned Gowan and Karl Weathers (Bill Paterson and Nick Offerman, respectively) also played R.P. Tyler, Neighborhood Watch and Thaddeus Dowling, American Ambassador in Good Omens.

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soulsanitarium · 1 year

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HISTORICAL MOVIES ABOUT WITCH PROCESSES

🇩🇰/🇳🇴🇨🇿🇫🇮🇺🇸🇪🇸🇮🇸🇫🇷🇵🇱 From the best known to the least known.

The Crucible (1996) - based on the play of Arthur Miller. Miller likened the situation with the House Un-American Activities Committee to the witch hunt in Salem in 1692 (the love story is purely fiction). Other American films & series that are based more or less in to Salem trials are: The Maid of Salem (1937) & Salem Witch Trials (2002) with Kirstie Alley, Shirley MacLaine, Alan Bates, Rebecca De Mornay.

Witchfinder General - see my previous post.

🇬🇧The Devils (1971) based on the book of Aldous Huxley, loosely based on the historical events in France. The Loudun possessions, known in French as the Possessed of Loudun Affair (Affaire des possédées de Loudun), was a notorious witchcraft trial that took place in Loudun, Kingdom of France, in 1634. A convent of Ursuline nuns said they had been visited and possessed by demons. Following an investigation by the Catholic Church, a local priest named Urbain Grandier was accused of summoning the evil spirits. Polish 🇵🇱Matka Joanna od Aniołów, also known as The Devil and the Nun (1961) is an art Film based on the same book.

Kladivo na čarodějnice (Witchhammer) Dir. Otakar Vávra (1969), adaptation of Kaplický's novel of the same name about the Northern Moravia trials. It is drawing from original historical documents.

🧹This film is very provocative, but it also offers a bit of a view of the layers of society and political motives. Indeed, the film is considered an allegory for the Stalin’s political show trials. What was quite exceptional in this historical case was that lawyer Jindřich František Boblig z Edelstadtu sought mainly the Conviction of local wealthy burghers.💰

🇩🇪Mark of the Devil (1970) - only the location is real. Schloss Moosham (moosham castle) is in Salzburg , Austria 🇦🇹 The Zaubererjackl trials or Salzburg witch trials, also known in history as the Magician Jackls process, which took place in the city of Salzburg in 1675–1690, was one of the largest and most famous witch trials in Austria but the movie has nothing to do with this it is basically torture porn.

🇩🇰Vredens Dag (1943) - Day of Wrath is a 1943 Danish drama film directed by C.T.Dreyer. It is an adaptation of the 1909 Norwegian play AnnePedersdotter by Hans Wiers-Jenssen, based on a 16th century Norwegian witchtrial case. It might reflect also the Nazi occupation in Denmark.

The Basque word AKELARRE means 'the field of the he-goat' as well as 'witches sabbath'. 🎥Akelarre (2020) centers on the relationship between a judge called Rostegui and a group of teens suspected of witchcraft. In an attempt to evade execution, the six teenage girls decide to tell the judge what he wants to hear. Their leader, Ana, realizes that the judge is desperate to prove the reality of the sabbath.

Pierre de Rosteguy de Lancre or Pierre de l'Ancre (1553–1631), was the (56 yo) French judge of Bordeaux who conducted the massive Pays de Labourd witch-hunt in 1609. In 1582 he was named judge in Bordeaux, and in 1608 King Henry IV commanded him to put an end to the practice of witchcraft. However before that 2 noblemen from Labourd asked help from the King.👑

Total of suspects in the area was 5000 but there are no clear records how many was killed in local trials. In famous Logroño trials 6 people were burned alive, 4 women & 2 men, 13 died in prison.🔥 five burned in effigy. (and many toads 🐸 were hanged too)

Finnish film Tulen morsian (2016) Devil’s Bride, is partly based on research but the plot (love story) is fiction. Influenced by the Feminist-movement.

Did you know that before the famous Swedish witch trials ( in Dalarna - Mora) they started from Finland? 🔥In the 17th century Finland was part of Sweden 🇸🇪🇫🇮and at that time (in 1655) man called Nils Psilander was appointed to be an Åland island 🇦🇽district judge.⚖️ District judge Psilander was the man behind the only linked trials in Finland (a snowball effect that led to multiple death sentences). Demonological ideas such as the demonic pact, the sabbat, and the Devil’s mark come to the fore. Psilander’s university studies in Tartu, with its German teachers, help to explain his knowledge of these ideas. 😈 7 women (+1) were beheaded and burned in these trials.

🇮🇸 Myrkrahöfðinginn (1999) Dir.Gunnlaugsson

⛪️This witchtrial film is loosely based on the historical events in Iceland. The trial & the burning in Easter week 1656 in Skutulsfjörður, Ísafjarðarsýsla, of the two Jón Jónssons, father and son, from Kirkjuból for witchcraft against their parish priest Jón Magnússon. (Ellison 1994-97)

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aneyforst · 2 months

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/Contact information about my HPHP MC/

Full name: Ani Jatta Forst

Nickname: An, Nia (from her younger sister Shira), Pip (from Jacob)

Birth Date: May 25 1973

Age: 18

Gender: female

Blood status: Half-blood

Ethnicity: Half German, a quarter Armenian, a quarter Jewish

Nationality: British

/Appearance/

Height: 165 cm

Weight: 43 kg

Hair: long light brown wavy (used to be short light brown (1-3 years ))

Eyes: green

Skin: light with barely noticeable freckles

/Family/

Father

Full name: Emmerick «Rick» Rayner Forst

Birth Date: October 29 1939

Age: 51

Blood status: Half-blood

Ethnicity: German

House: Ravenclaw

Profession: Legislator of the International Magical Office of Law

Mother

Full name: Alte Fira Blau

Birth Date: July 30 1941

Age: 49

Blood status: Pureblood

Ethnicity: Half Jewish, Half Armenian

House: Ravenclaw:

Profession: Lawyer of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement

Sister

Full name: Shira Naira Forst

Birth Date: October 01 1975

Age: 15

Blood status: Half-blood

Ethnicity: Half German, a quarter Armenian, a quarter Jewish

House: Ravenclaw

/At Hogwarts/

House: Ravenclaw

Year: 7(studies a lot to pass the NEWTS)

Her first wand: Maple wood, unicorn hair core, 12 inches

Her second wand: Birch wood, dragon heartstring, 11 inches

Favorite Classes: Transfiguration, Care of the Magical Creatures, Charms, Potions

Not Favorite Classes: Herbology, Divination

Amortentia: Apple pie, wet grass, old books

Clubs: Sphinx and Hippogriff

Quidditch position: Chaser

Boggard: The destruction of everything she was working on

Patronus: Tiger

Animagus form: Abysinian cat

Pet's: Burmese cat Faith(from Jacob), toad Cassia and Crup puppy July(lived with her maternal grandparents)

/Relationship/

Best Friends: Rowan Khanna, Chiara Lobosca, Bill Weasley, Talbott Winger, Barnaby Lee, Charley Weasley, Diego Caplan

Friends: Penny Haywood, Ben Copper, Tulip Karasu, Nimphadora Tonks, Liz Tattle, Badeea Ali, Andre Egwu

Acquaintanceship: Aurélie Dumont, Jules Egwu, Celine Castillon, Skye Parkin, Orion Amari, Murphy McNully, Alanza Alves, Beatrice Haywood, Corey Hayden, Victor Ketsueki, Cedric Diggory, Fred and George Weasley

Rivals: Merula Snyde, Patricia Rakepic, «R» members

Love Interest: Jae Kim

/Non-NPS Friends/

@astie-hearts21 (Asteria Hearts)

/Interested Facts/

— Apart from English, she speaks German and Armenian Hebrew without any problems. She also knows a few words in French and Spanish

— She hate apple's, but love apple strudel

— Before the third year, Anie found Jacob's uniform tie at home. From that moment on, she ties her hair

— During life-threatening situations on the outside, she shows that she doesn't care, but inside she almost curses everyone because of whom she does it

— Peregrine is her maternal uncle and Jacob's biological father (as it turned out, her parents adopted their nephew)

/Fancast/

Anie Forst as Elizabeth Olsen

/Voice/

Kirsten Collins «Look What You Made Me Do»

youtube

#hphm #hphm mc #hphm oc #Anie Forst #sorry for the long wait #Youtube

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