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#today's been a very Very emotionally tiring day
capn-twitchery · 7 days
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i feel like someone has spooled up all of my upper body muscles like spaghetti on a fork. help
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softshuji · 4 months
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y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.
#i was thinking abt it earlier#but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why#actually i do kinda know why.#i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me#earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject#too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i#was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often#especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d#everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just#cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even#consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural#but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other#peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something#something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they#move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less#sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can#always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response#and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone#it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything#not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i#feel like im not actually being heard or listened to#and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you'#or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore#god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it#for everyone else all the time#is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say#this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice#god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover#and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel#like they actually like me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months
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...
#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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squishied · 5 months
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i really have met the most incredible person. no one has ever made me feel this way. to feel so cared about and loved and listened to, every single day… for somebody to go out of their way, every single day, just for you, just because they care, just because they want you to feel better… to have so much faith in me, endlessly… i feel so lucky. i feel so honoured that i got to have him. anyone would be so, SO lucky to have him… but i got him. he chose me.
#he took me on a long drive today because i was very sad#he had a really tiring day at work; he has a very tough manual labour job and isn’t treated very kindly there#but i asked him to come over and he did#we sat in my room and i didn’t say much; i felt a little emotionally comatose; he came in and i’d been crying all day#he said i looked cute with the mascara under my eyes and he kissed my face and said silly stupid things to try and make me laugh#he asked if i wanted to spend the night at his and i would’ve if i didn’t have my cat to take care of#so we went on a drive and he let me play my favourite album; he always lets me pick the music#and we drove to the lookout and he pulled down the seats and we sat in the boot and talked#he listened to me talk about why i was so sad… it was really really deep heavy things#and then we just talked about everything and nothing for a long while. then he took me home#he’s so beautiful#he’s like a real life teddy bear. he’s so smart and so kind. hes so strong and beautifully protective of me… i feel so safe#he messaged me afterwards and told me how excited he is to see where our relationship goes… for more silly conversations and deep talks#sitting in the backseat of his car; drunken chaos and new adventures#he told me he wants me to meet his parents and he’s so excited for me to go to the taylor swift concert and he’ll watch every single video#i feel so happy and so lucky#anybody would be so lucky to have him#but i got him#he’s MY boyfriend. he picked me. over all the beautiful women he picked me#i couldn’t ask for a better partner. he’s so beautiful. he’s not perfect but at the same time he is#maybe he’s just perfect for me#puppietalk
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oculusxcaro · 11 months
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how pure are you ?
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She's very uncomfortable with this relevation, maybe even a little hurt.
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fereldenshero · 1 year
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feeling shitty. Again
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sexybabystevie · 1 year
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this is to ONE PERSON and one person ONLY. if you're confused, it's not you!
#you know. i saw you posted today from a different account. and it was one i totally forgot about#i didnt even feel like running back this time. was i curious? yes. did i end up looking? yep.#im saying this even though im 98% sure you cant see it but whatever. since when has that stopped me before?#you seemed fine. to say seeing that didnt piss me off would be a lie. oops i guess#i think its funny how the last thing you posted was stolen from me.#today it was one of those tag games we used to do together. your taglist was empty with some excuse of being absent on this app#i cant help but wonder if thats really all of it. if thats the whole story or not. i have a feeling the answer is no#i dont think youll ever understand the impact of what you did to me and the ways that you treated me. how that immensely fucked me up#or how youve basically thrown me to the wolves ever since you emotionally checked out.#you act like i never mattered to you and its been like that for forever. i made so many excuses on your behalf that i never should have.#these days the thought of you makes me go insane. the kind of insane that leaves me up all night and makes me wanna scream at the top#of my lungs. i have been consumed by anguish and hate. yes. im not afraid to say it anymore. i hate what happened and what you did to me#and sometimes i even hate you. and i dont even feel bad about it. im so over that because if theres anything i deserve after this hell then#its the capability to hate. for once in my life.#i saw your post and wondered if you thought of me. and i hope you did. i hope you thought of me and at the very least it stung.#because whether you want to admit it or not i was someone good. i bent over backwards for you every other day. try finding someone to do#everything that i did for you that you never appreciated. try finding someone who will care as much as i did about someone who couldnt be#bothered to tell me happy birthday. i dare you. because im tired of being sad that youre not here. im tired of being the one whos mourning#im so over it actually. because really i did so much for you. i gave up so much to be a good friend and it was never enough. i genuinely#cared about you. im not going to torture myself anymore by overanalyzing your posts or by thinking that i was nothing to you#because in one way or another youll miss me. and i hope the feeling is hell.#in the wise and paraphrased words of taylor swift. karma only comes back around to those who deserve it#in other words ill be fine#em speaks#tw vent ish#sorry to everyone else although i applaud you for being nosy lmao. gotta have my girlboss moment <3
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deancaskiss · 2 years
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had a really rough couple of days. cried a lot of tears, exhausted myself, have barely been eating or drinking for the last few days, and on top of that today i felt like i was kicked when i was already down. but today i also got to work with a chicken (who is the sweetest angel and has shown major signs of improvement over the last couple of days) and i got to work with a ferret this afternoon and after i gave him an implant and performed a physical exam, i got to cuddle him, and honestly couldn’t stop smiling the entire time i held the ferret in my arms… and that’s the first time I’ve smiled in days. something something i think im meant to work with ferrets and exotic pets
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 10 months
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Sad Conrad request. Surprising him at the beach house and being there through the hard moments with his mom
Grab your tissues, this is a sad one
Warnings: mention of cancer/death
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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‘’She won’t get better. It’s too late,’’ a crying Conrad said through the phone one late evening of May.
You sat up in your bed, giving him your best attention as your heart clenched.
These past few months, Susannah had been trying a new treatment for her cancer. She initially didn’t want to do it, but she would do anything for her boys. It’s been tough for her and the boys, physically and emotionally, but Susannah was a fighter. If she could beat cancer once, she could do it again, right?
Today, she had an appointment with her oncologist to see if the treatment was working. Conrad had been very stressed over it, calling you more often just to hear your reassuring words. You stayed optimistic for his sake, but you couldn’t lie to him. There were chances the treatment did not work.
‘’S-she’s gonna die.’’ His voice cracked at the last word, causing a tear to slip down your face.
That night, you almost booked a flight to Boston just to hold him in your arms.
*
When June came, you all went to Cousins’ beach for the last time. The last summer, her last summer.
On the day of the Fishers’ arrival, you sat on Conrad’s perfectly made bed and waited for him to walk through his door. It felt strange to be alone in their holiday house. Susannah had helped you plan the surprise for Conrad, mailing you a double of the keys a week before their arrival. He had been taking care of her so well during her treatment, she wanted to thank him in a special way.
You heard the door open downstairs, Conrad and Jeremiah’s voices soon filling the house. A know formed in your stomach, excited and nervous at the same time. Susannah’s voice mixed with the two, asking Conrad to take the bags upstairs.
The stairs creaked under his steps, listening as he took his mother’s bags to her room first, then his own. You held your breath as you saw the doorknob turn, soon revealing the boy you had missed so much with one bag over his shoulder and his suitcase in his other hand.
A mix of complete surprise and confusion spread on his face when he saw you sitting there on his bed.
‘’Hi.’’ You stood and a smile curled on Conrad’s lips for the first time in a while.
He dropped his bag and the suitcase’s handle and rushed over to you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you from the ground. You wrapped your own arms around his neck as your legs did the same to his waist, finally in each other‘s hold.
‘’What are you doing here? You said you wouldn’t be here until Sunday.’’
You pulled back slightly, pushing that one piece of hair from his pretty eyes. You missed him and the soft smile he only kept for you. ‘’I drove here two days early to surprise you.’’
‘’Consider me surprised,’’ he said, closing the space between you and kissing you for the first time since spring break. Without breaking the kiss, Conrad took you to his bed, toppling on it in a mess of tangled limbs. ‘’How did you get in? Did you pick our backdoor?’’
‘’Susannah.’’
His eyebrows drew closer. ‘’My mom?’’
You nodded.
For a very short moment, Conrad was happy. And it was all because of you — with the help of Susannah.
*
As the summer went by, and Conrad was turning into a shell of his person. He was barely ever leaving the beach house or his mother’s side, wanting to spend as much time with her as possible before the end.
Since her last scan, the cancer had spread. She was getting more sick each day, becoming more tired and frail every time you saw her. Her blond hair was gone, replaced by a bandana that covered her bald head.
It was sad to watch.
‘’I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if my mom’s not there?’’ Conrad asked one night you were sitting on the back porch, his feet dipped in the pool water.
‘’You can talk to me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’’ You put your hand on his shoulders and he started to sob as you felt your own tears blurring your vision.
‘’She’s too young to die. She’ll never come to my college graduation or Jere’s high school graduation.’’
A few weeks later, you and Conrad were watching a movie in the living room, when Susannah came to get a glass of water. Conrad had fallen asleep against you, too tired to stay up late like he used to these days. You asked if she needed your help, but she smiled and said she was okay.
Before going back to her room, she came to the living room and put her hand on your arm. ‘’Thank you for being there for Connie. He doesn’t say, but he’s taking it the hardest. When I… He’s gonna take it the hardest.’’ She looked down at her son, a sad smile on her lips and tears welling in her eyes. ‘’Please take care of him.’’
*
When Susannah took her last breath, the weather was gloomy and dark outside, reflecting perfectly the feeling of the coming weeks.
You got the call at 3am and drove down to Boston, to the Fishers’ home. A red-eyed teary Jeremiah answered the door. You gave him a long hug, then headed to Conrad’s room. Laurel and her kids were there, all grieving the loss of a close friend — a non-blood-related family member.
As you entered Conrad's room, the somber atmosphere weighed heavily. The curtains were shut, plunging the room into semi-darkness, illuminated by the smallest crack of light coming from the top of the window. On the bed was Conrad, still in his clothes from last night, crying in silence and holding the old shark plushie his mother got him as a child. It had seen better days and was missing one eye, he hadn’t let go of it since coming home from the hospital.
His shoulders stiffened when he heard the door opening, about to rudely shoo out whoever had come to check on him, but relaxed when he saw you. Your hair was gathered in a loose ponytail, strands framing your face, and your shirt was an old one of Conrad’s, but none of that mattered to him. There was no one else he wanted to see beside his mom than you.
Lifting his head from the shark plushie, the steady flow of tears on his face. breaking your heart. His blue eyes, once vibrant, were now red and swollen from hours of crying, just like his brother’s.
You opened your mouth to speak, but words seemed inadequate in the face of such profound loss. So you said nothing.
You laid with him on the bed, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and pulling him into you like you had done these past months. The second his face met your chest, his sobs filled the room, finally allowing himself to let go now that you were there to catch him.
Rare were the times you had seen Conrad, but it was heartbreaking every time. You rubbed circles around his back and rested your cheek on his head, feeling his tears soak your shirt as he cried, silent tears falling from your own eyes.
You stayed like that for what felt like hours — just the two of you laying on his bed. Laurel didn’t bother checking on him, knowing he was well taken after with you. It was a weight off her shoulders, one less thing she needed to worry about.  
As the night was starting to fall outside, you felt Conrad's breathing even out, telling you he had fallen asleep. You didn't know how long he had been up for, but he must've been exhausted — in every way.
You carefully reached out to grab the soft blanket from behind him, trying to not wake him, but Conrad tightened his grip on you as he sensed your movement, afraid of losing the anchor that kept him grounded. 
‘’Don’t leave me too,’’ he mumbled, his voice so small and weak you didn't hear it.
You stayed still, frozen by his words. The vulnerability in his voice pierced your heart, and you realized that even in his sleep, his fear of abandonment lingered. 
Gently, you brushed your fingers through his hair, softly whispering back to him in reassurance.  ‘’I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'll be right here when you wake up.’’
You vowed to be there for him, to support him through the darkest hours of his journey, and you planned on keeping that promise you made to Susannah, even if it meant staying up all night holding him or skipping a few days of classes at college. 
With great care, you shifted your position, sliding out from under him just enough to reach the blanket. As you draped it over both of you, he instinctively clung tighter to you, seeking the comfort of your presence.
All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @marzipaanz  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3  @Heartsforneteyamsully @aerangi @hallecarey1
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nsharks · 1 year
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I don’t know if your taking request, but if you’re not please ignore me.! But my request is Simon kid got a tantrum and Simon is comforting them🥺 (Please excuse my English. It’s not my native language </3)
oh honey you are totally fine! and I love this request so I had to do it right away <3
simon comforts his son during a tantrum
very brief abuse mention
“What do we need the cranberries for, love?”
Simon’s pushing the grocery cart with your son in it. Meanwhile, you drag your feet behind him, your infant daughter asleep in a carrier against your chest. It seems, recently, she prefers sleeping during the day. The evidence of this is clear in the slackness under yours eyes.
Simon was used to preforming on little sleep. It’s easy to say he’s handling the week of regression much better than you are.
“Salad,” you answer numbly. One hand rubs at your eyes, as if that will make them feel any less heavy, and the other hand rests on your daughter’s back. “We’re having that salad I like tonight, remember?”
“Well, gonna have to find something else.” He raises a brow and juts a finger towards the shelf. “All out. Bloody hell, who’s buying cranberries this time o’ year besides you?”
You don’t even have it in you to remind him to watch his language. Sighing, you chew at your lip and offer a small, lazy smile. Having him here, not just to help but to keep you sane, is something you cherish. Even through your lack of your sleep, you savor the moment; grocery shopping with your family.
With Simon’s bare face on display.
In public.
Something you were surprisingly used to now.
It’s funny; you had sex with him, loved him, before you ever saw his face. And now it’s a face that you get to watch bury in your children’s tummies to blow raspberries in the mornings.
“What do you think, bug?” Simon asks the toddler in the cart, touching his little chin. “Maybe salad isn’t the right call for tonight, huh?”
“Don’t get him on your side,” you huff. “You never want my salad.”
“I’d just prefer to eat a real meal,” Simon shrugs, glancing over the shelves as you walk through the aisle. You should’ve known he had already been thinking about hijacking the dinner tonight.
And in this moment that Simon is distracted, looking for stuff to make a real meal, the toddler in the cart leans over to grab something.
It’s a glass jar.
Manages to get both little hands on it and bring it to his lap in the cart.
“What are ya-“
Simon frowns and looks down at him.
“What do you have there?” he says and your eyes widen when you see your son hold up the jar precariously with his chubby hands. “Nuh-uh, kid. Not gonna happen.”
Simon tuts at him and easily takes the jar away, but the action must feel like the end of the world to your two-year-old, because he immediately begins to cry.
Like screaming crying.
You should be used to it.
And you are.
How many nights had you dealt with your toddler’s tantrums all by yourself, his father miles away?
But today you’re tired, and your ears are ringing, and frankly you feel like crying yourself when your son starts flailing his arms around, trying to get the jar back.
“No, kid, you can’t have-“
“Simon,” you sigh and shift the baby against your chest, whose starting to wake up. “I’ll take them both outside. You finish getting everything.”
Shaking his head, Simon is already lifting the crying toddler from the cart and firmly telling you, “No, I’ve got it. You just… pick out whatever you want, yeah? Salad is fine.”
You don’t protest.
It’s much easier for Simon to restrain the boy, simply grabbing both of his wrists in one hand so he can’t hit. And holds him against his hip as he makes his way outside.
Seven years with Simon and he’s grown (emotionally) before your eyes. He had to learn how to safely express love, and it took time, but now he knows exactly how to love you, your kids. Shows it in patient words and gentle fingertips and constant acts of service.
Sure, there are moments where he gets frustrated (particularly when the boy tries to hit his little sister).
But Simon knows how to just be quiet and calm and let his son feel what he needs to feel. Because had anyone ever let him do that as a kid? Had anyone ever taken him outside during a tantrum, sit on a bench and hold him close, rubbing his back?
“It’s okay to feel angry,” Simon murmurs to his son. His cheeks red and puffy. “I’ve got ya. I’m here.”
The boy slurs out babble that Simon’s trained ears recognize as “want it”.
“Right,” his father sighs low. “I know what you mean, kid. Get proper mad when I don't get what I want," and he brushes a thumb to his cheek, "But we've got to find something that helps us stay calm, yeah?"
Simon doesn’t scold your son. Doesn’t tell him it’s okay, because he understands that it might not feel that way. Doesn’t even give a shit that the crying is drawing attention from people. Simon just sits on the bench with him and lets the tantrum happen.
And as your son’s tantrum fades into sniffles and little hands twisting around in his father’s shirt, Simon can’t help but think about his own memories. Most of them faded or blacked out now, he still manages to recall a time when he cried like this and his father had pushed his face in the dirt for it.
“I’ll give you something to fucking cry about.”
The words burn in his mind. Catch in his throat and force him to swallow. He used to shut those memories out, keep them buried somewhere underneath gunfire and blood and a mask. But now he welcomes them whenever they surface, learns from them. Reminds himself that he didn’t deserve that treatment and neither do his own kids.
Simon holds the toddler even closer.
Hands splaying over his back and a small kiss to his forehead.
“Look at ya,” Simon mutters out a piece of praise. “Feeling calm, bug? Wanna go back to your mum?”
But the toddler shakes his head no and instead, they sit out there until you’re done with the shopping. When you finally walk out, you see that Simon is smirking in amusement, watching your son sit in his lap and draw his little finger over the skulls inked on his arm. A relaxing activity, perhaps, and the sight of it makes your heart spill over.
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cyberkitty1 · 11 months
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can you pls write e42!miles x crybaby!reader? i feel like he might not react the best initially to a very emotionally sensitive gf but he would come around (probably to aaron's dismay)
Things have been rocky between you and Miles lately. You feel he hasn’t been paying attention to you lately and you know its not just you being needy because his mom and Aaron see it as well!
You call him to ask if he wants to hang out with you today:
hey miles, ive missed you baby! how hve you been?
you hear an annoyed sigh on the other end of the phone.
Ok, supongo que ¿qué hay de ti?
good! I wanted to know if you may want to hang out with me today?
no, I’m busy
but we haven’t been on a date in weeks
i know I’m just busy with work, i cant talk right now. Bye
wait-
click
he hung up on you? He doesn’t hang up without saying bye? Thats new.
- couple days later -
you decided to show up to his house with his favorite foods. Rio answers the door. “¡Ay, mi bebé, estás aquí! Cómo ha estado” “¡He estado buena! Y usted, ¿cómo está señora Morales?” “Buenas gracias por preguntar ¿por qué estás aquí?”
Oh um I haven’t seen Miles in a while and he hasn’t been answering my calls or texts.
Rio gives you an annoyed look “ i’m sorry hunny he’s been really busy” “yea, is it ok if i just put this in his room and leave?” “yes of course!”
So you make your way to his bedroom waving to Aaron. You open the door to see him playing games on his computer. you wonder to yourself is this what he’s been doing instead of replying to you?? interesting.
He turns around to see you but doesn’t say anything. “Hola, mi príncipe, sé que has estado ocupado últimamente, ¡así que te traje comida!” you say smiling. “ ok….just put it on my dresser.” he says sounding a but annoyed. “ ok, i also came here to talk to you” you said said standing behind him.
There was an odd silence between you guys “ well aint you here now? speak.” You were caught off guard a bit.” Yea umm are you upset with me or something? I call you and text you but your not replying.”
He sighs pausing his game “ so i always have to talk to you or something? Like can i not be tired now?” he say’s defensively. “ nonono I mean i call and text you but you will leave me on read or you just decline my calls. Did i do soemthong to make you upset, tell me.” he rolls his eyes “ you doin’ too much, i cant do this anymore” he whispers.
you look at him shocked “ what did you say?” tears filling your eyes. “ he stands backing you into the door. your eyes where already filled with tears willing to spill. “ I said I cant do this anymore! you always wanna call me and text me ma, you cry all the time like now! look you’re gonna cry.”
He says getting all in your face. You are way too stunned to speak. You open the door walking out. At this point you’re crying, mascara all over your face.
Coming down the stairs you see Aaron and Rio watching TV. Aaron speaks first “ what happened are you ok?” you look at them for a split second “ no um i’m just gonna go home, good night” voice cracking.
Aaron and Rio look at each other. “ Ill go talk to him” Aaron says.
—————————————
Part 2!
not really proof read.
im using a different app for translations!!
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whumpy-bi · 7 months
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Rescuers/medics bringing in a more “emotionally aware” member of their crew to talk to a recently rescued Whumpee, who has spent the past few days lashing out and refusing any treatment.
They’re crouched behind their bed when Caretaker walks in, wide eyes watching them intently. They know Caretaker can see them—the bed is giving them a sense of security, Caretaker figures, a barrier between them and anyone else.
Caretaker keeps their voice soft, but loud enough that Whumpee can hear them. “Hey,” they start.
“You’re Whumpee, right?” They only nod to themself, knowing the answer. “I’m Caretaker…” They notice the apprehension in Whumpee’s stare.
“I’m not a medic, don’t worry. I just want to talk to you, would that be okay?”
Whumpee finally nods. Good, an acknowledgment.
Caretaker slowly lowers themselves to their knees, stopping at eye level with Whumpee. Notably, they hadn’t attempted to come any closer, nor attempted to move Whumpee from behind the bed.
“I heard you were a little upset this morning. Is that true?”
Finally, a verbal response.
“Yeah.”
“I heard you got pretty angry, with the medic. That true, too?”
“…Am I in trouble?”
Caretaker shakes their head, resting their hands on their knees. “No, not at all. I just want to understand what happened. Do you know why you were angry?”
“…No. I just didn’t want them near me.”
They hummed in thought. “Well…I’ve also heard you haven’t been able to sleep since we brought you here.”
Whumpee was silent, but frowned.
“I know I always feel pretty crappy when I can’t sleep. I get angrier than I mean to. Do you think maybe that’s why?”
“…Maybe.”
“Well, that’s alright. I can help you figure out how to get some sleep, we can talk about that too. But do you remember specifically why you lashed out at the medic today? What did—“
“He grabbed me. I don’t want people to grab me. He wouldn’t stop grabbing me.”
Caretaker nodded again, shifting their jaw as they listened. “That makes sense. I probably wouldn’t like that, either. What if he asked to touch you, before he did?”
Whumpee was silent again, but they quirked their head to the side. Considering.
“I’m sure we can all do that, asking to do things. We can tell you what we’re doing, before we do it. So you know how we’re helping you. Would that help? I think that’d be a lot less frustrating.”
Whumpee mumbled, now. They’d come closer to the other side of the bed.
“Maybe, yeah.”
Caretaker smiled warmly. “That’s good, I can tell them that. Now…I wanna help you get some sleep. I think that’ll help you feel a lot better, too.”
They watch Whumpee quietly as they climb back onto the bed, careful not to move too quickly themselves.
“Is it hard to sleep in here?”
No answer again. Caretaker glances over to the window.
“It’s pretty bright outside, isn’t it? Even with the parking lot lights at night. I can get some heavier curtains, if you’d—“
“It’s hot.” Whumpee’s voice is barely there, a hushed mumble.
Caretaker’s eyebrows raise, their expression a relieved smile. This was good.
“Yeah? I can’t sleep if it’s too warm, either. Here, I can…” They very slowly rise to stand, keeping eye contact with Whumpee as they do so. “I can lower the temperature, that’ll help a lot. I’ll just make it a little cooler in here…I can make sure you have water at night, too. Nice cold water.”
Whumpee watches them closely as they adjust the temperature, less apprehensive than before.
Caretaker suppresses a chuckle at Whumpee’s expression. “You look pretty tired, Whumpee. You wanna try sleeping again?”
“…Maybe.”
They let Caretaker help adjust them into a sleeping position, leaving the blanket by their ankles for now. As Caretaker goes for the light switch, Whumpee calls out one more time.
“Will you come back?”
“Sure I will, Whumpee. I’ll check on you a lot, you can ask for me whenever you want. Why?”
“I…liked talking to you.”
“I liked talking to you, too, Whumpee.”
Whumpee’s prolonged nap that day was the best sleep they’d had in months.
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lethalchiralium · 6 months
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since you've been on an angst train with the happiness aus lately, could we possibly see a little more of Simon and misuss' interactions after she lost the baby? you wrote it so well, and so raw. it was very heart breaking, but beautiful to watch them grieve and grow together.
More Than I Could Ask For | Happiness Series
a/n: i got you homie
warnings: mentions of miscarriages, medical jargon, trauma, grieving. mentions of not eating. mentions of breastfeeding.
summary: Losing a baby is difficult, Simon knows that. But as he takes care of you, all he wishes for is for you to not feel the pain anymore.
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It was hard, Simon couldn’t deny that.
He hasn’t felt pain like this since he was a boy, being reprimanded for helping a girl on the playground when she had fell. He really liked her, but his father had beat him to a pulp for even looking in her direction. That’s when he grew scared to even make friends, to make connections because his father had beat into him that everyone will leave him. Everyone.
But, as you rested your head on his chest, he knew that you wouldn’t. The television was playing one of your favorite drama series, one you used to watch all the time when you were just Winnie’s nanny. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t grateful for you loving him too.
The doctor appointment today confirmed that the tissue was dispelled and you were no longer pregnant, now came the recovery period. He had drove you home in unwilling silence, trying to get you to laugh or talk or something, but you kept your eyes fixated out your window. It was normal for you now, for the past four weeks since he found you in the bathroom. Short answers, barely talking to him but still conversing with your daughters normally, like nothing happened.
Was he tired of it? Yes. Did he understand that you needed space? Yes, but only after he talked to Price about it. He was close to ripping his hair out because you wouldn’t talk to him, but Price had pulled him from the edge. She’ll talk when she’s ready.
He was going to have to start having Soap and Gaz check on you during the day, more issues were coming up and his deployment was getting closer. Unfortunately, it would be only him, Price, and König - a friend he hasn’t seen in a long time. It wasn’t that he hated his friends, it’s just that he had the urge to stay at your side no matter what. Melt his bones down and create a physical tie from him to you, just so he could be around you. He noticed that your hair had grown out, you would have gone to the hairdresser by now to fix it. He still brushed it gently in the mornings, one less thing you would have to worry about.
You were a shell, haunting him and he couldn’t emotionally handle it. He needed you back, he needed you to smile again.
He noticed way too much of your change. Sleeping more, trying your hardest not to eat, sick - it was like you were ashamed.
That’s when it clicked.
His fingers curled through your hair, his other hand coming to rest on your cheek.
“I’m sorry.” His words were the first spoken in the room since the morning, you stilled on his chest. Your head moved so you could look up to him, tears in your eyes.
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine.”
His head moved to the side. “No, it’s not.” His thumb gently rubbed your cheek, “This happens. Miscarriages happen, you shouldn’t be ashamed.”
Your head turned back around, you whispered, “I just want to watch TV.”
“No, baby, please talk to me.” His hand kept running through your hair, trying to keep your attention. “Honey.”
Another few moments.
“Are you hungry? I can go make you something.”
“No.”
“Baby, please, you’re starving yourself.”
“It’s what I deserve.”
Simon paused, eyes widened in disbelief.
“What you deserve?”
You nodded, eyes gazing down at your lap.
His hand moved to your jaw, forcing you to look at him. His eyes were dark. “No, it’s not.” Tears fell from your eyes, his hands slipped for your face to your hands, cradling them with a soft grip. “You don’t deserve pain. You don’t deserve to starve yourself because you think you failed me.” He squeezed your hands, more tears fell from your eyes. “I just want you to feel better, I need you to feel better. Losing the baby hurts, I know it does, but you have two little girls who wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if they lost you.” He brought your hands to his chest.
“Simon…”
“They wouldn’t know what to do because I would be gone too.” He murmured, his voice small. “I can’t live without you. I’d lose myself, they’d lose me too.”
You lurched forwards, diving into his chest and letting go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck, sobbing. “I-I can’t stop feeling-feeling like this-“
“I know, love.” His warm arms were instantly around your torso, fingers curled around your waist and carded into your scalp.
“Don’t-Don’t be mad at me.”
“Why would I ever be mad at you?”
You hiccuped over your breath. “I-I’m starving myself.” Your hand held his head closer to yours, you were trying to calm down but your heart kept racing. “You’re right. I’m starving myself and I could die and leave my babies.”
“Your feelings are what makes sure you’re still human, you were scared. Scared means shutting down, shutting down means forgetting to do anything for yourself. That’s why I’m here.” His fingers twisted a lock of your hair between them before he gently pet your head, a kiss settled right behind your ear. “Let me take care of you, let me help you, let me hold you and fix you.”
If you could express the way your heart seemed to beat without being there, you would. If you could describe the disappointment that doused your insides like gasoline, the way your pain struck a match and was burning you, you would. You pressed your forehead into his shoulder, hiccuping from your sobs, “You were so excited.”
“I was, but I was scared too.” The waves Simon fought so hard to keep above kept crashing over him, pain striking his chest like lightning. “I was so scared that I would lose you.”
“Simon…”
“You don’t need to be ashamed about losing the baby. It wasn’t meant to be, I’ve come to terms with it.”
A loud sob left you, your eyes squeezed shut so tightly that it was painful. “I wanted my son.”
“I know, my love.” I wish I could take away your pain.
He held you for a long time, letting you sob your broken heart out. He kissed your head before he went to his daughters, cooking and feeding them, bathing them, and then putting them to bed. He warmed up some of dinner, planning to eat with you.
But when he came back to the dimly lit room, he found you in the center of the bed - his pillow held against your chest with an iron grip. He settled the plate with your favorite pasta on it on your nightstand before he quickly ate his portion, he’d clean the plates in the morning.
He discarded his plate on the dresser before he got back into bed with you, his arms tucked underneath the pillow so he could hold your chest, letting his fingertips faintly feel your heartbeat. His forehead settled on the crown of your head, he felt you subtly shift in your slumber.
He let tears of his own fall down his face in silence.
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He woke up in the night to you crawling back in bed, he could hear the soft cries of his youngest daughter in your arms. Your lamp was turned on, it didn’t phase his eyes as he watched you nurse your baby. Your arm held her up as you gently patted her bottom, observing your sleepy and sweet girl. A tune came from your lips, quiet as he believed you hadn’t noticed he was awake yet.
“Young men dream and old men ponder,” Gentle fingertips traced Mellie’s eyebrows, the apple of her cheeks as you quietly sang a song to her. “But what of the in between?” Mellie’s brown eyes flickered up to your face, little lashes fluttered as she blinked. Simon didn’t have to move to know that you were smiling at her. “You look more like your father.” Gently brushing her hair back with your hand before you cradled her head. Her little hand smacked against your breast, you chuckled as softly as you could as you continued, “In this life, if you should falter,” A gentle brush of her cheek had Mellie kicking her legs, eyes still watching you. “Remember these words I sing.” Simon felt the current of the ocean in his body calm, your soft voice brought him a comfort he never knew he should have been looking for.
Mellie unlatched from you, whining and whimpering. You pulled your shirt back down and moved her onto your shoulder, gently patting her back - but she pushed backwards, wanting to look at your face.
“Don’t like Mama singin’ to you right now, huh?”
Little Mellie cooed, little hands resting on your chin.
“You’re such a sweet girl. Mama loves you so much.” You brought her face towards you for a kiss, your daughter squealed with delight as you gently shushed her. “Dada’s still sleepin’, baby. He’s doing so much for us, gotta let him sleep.”
He wanted to pull you into his chest right then, to kiss your head and hold his baby to his skin. He needed nothing more than to hold his girls, all three of them. He almost moved his hand before you moved out of the bed, your footsteps silent as you made your way back to the nursery. Simon’s eyes flickered to the food he left on your nightstand hours earlier, food eaten up and fork left on the cleared plate. His chest warmed, knowing that something got through to you. That he could help you with one little thing.
When you came back to bed, he sat up - which made you jump. Your hand flew to your chest as you huffed out a breath. “Jesus, Si, you scared me.”
He held out his hand, your eyebrows furrowed with confusion but you stepped closer to your bed and took it. He gently pulled you up as you got into bed, he wrapped his arms around you wordlessly. His warm heart had a steady beat he could finally feel after so many weeks, his arms held you tight as you melted into his embrace. He held you like that until he laid you both down, his arms cradling you until morning light.
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primaviva · 9 months
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PAIRING: gwen stacy x fem!reader
SYNOPSIS: gwen has been acting distant lately. first, she started taking longer to reply to your texts, then she became less responsive to your calls, and now you hardly get to see your girlfriend at all. every time you do manage to talk, it feels like she's dreading something yet to come. it's starting to seem pretty obvious to you that gwen doesn't want to be in a relationship with anymore. and maybe you're not too far off from the truth. can she make it up to you though?
WARNING/NOTES: heavy angst with comfort at the end, relationship issues/mentions of breaking up, emotionally unstable and struggling gwen who’s in need of some love, heavy making out and romantic frustration, parents gonna be parents, nothing nasty she’s a minor yall please !! also this isn’t spell checked or grammar checked much it’s too long for allat ENJOY THO
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gwen had been distant for a while.
so much has been happening lately in her life, you know that. it’s like she's struggling to keep up with everything life throws at her. every day, gwen just seems more exhausted, drained, and down in the dumps. you can see this look of sadness and hopelessness in her eyes whenever you catch a glimpse of her. you always used to be the one to cheer her up, and she'd even call you her favorite girl. but now, whenever you try to comfort her, talk to her, or even get close, she just avoids it all. it's not just suspicion anymore, it's real worry. the doubts began to creep in. are you not doing enough? did she lose interest? hell, you've even wondered if she found someone else who's more adaptable to her life, even better than you.
but at the end of the day, you just missed her. you found yourself reaching for the clothes she had given you more frequently, slipping into her shirts as you settled into bed or donning her hoodies when stepping out, just like you were doing at that very moment. it was as if her clothes held the power to bridge the distance between you, it always made you feel close to her even when she wasn’t around.
today, you had a list of errands to run, prompted by a last-minute text from your guardians, urging you to pick up essential groceries for the week. as you inhaled deeply, gwen's hoodie enveloped you with her essence. the scent of lavender and vanilla mingled with a hint of something sweet and leathery. it was a fragrance that encapsulated her very
presence, intensifying your ache for her.
it didn’t take long for you to get to the market and pick up what you needed. but as you were heading out, something caught your eye.
it was spiderwoman, gwen, perched on top of a building, looking completely exhausted. she looked tired, like she had just finished thwarting a local crime. the building wasn’t too tall, so you knew she would be able to hear you.
“hey, spider! feels i haven’t seen you in forever,” you shouted up at her, causing her to look down with a startled expression etched on her mask.
“oh uh, hi. i didnt expect to see you. what brought you around?” she questioned, surprise apparent in her tone.
“what? i’m not allowed to go grocery shopping outside my house?” you teased, but it seemed she took it seriously. “sorry… i didn’t mean it like that.”
“i know, gwen,” you reassured her with a small smile, but it faded as you studied her face. the corners of her usual smile when she saw you were drooping. it was as if your presence brought her a sense of dread, and it only deepened the heaviness in your heart. why were you causing her to feel this way?
“hey, um… i can take you home if you want. it's safer that way,” gwen suggested, hopping down from the building and walking towards you. she didn't even meet your gaze; it was like she physically couldn't. her eyes darted to the ground. “oh? how protective of you.”
gwen simply nodded, taking the groceries from you and holding them herself. she wrapped her arm around your waist, and together, you swung through the city back to your place. the wind brushed against your face, your clothes fluttering in the breeze. you glanced up at her, expecting her to look at you with her usual playful smile, teasing you about how fast she swung. but she didn't. she stared ahead, her eyes distant. even behind her mask, you could sense the strain in her eyes, as if she carried an unyielding burden on her shoulders. you could feel her gaze, sensing her stealing glances at you from the corner of her eye. in those stolen moments, she absorbed your beauty, your caring nature, and your love for her, which only made what she was about to do hurt even more. her heart ached.
"is everything okay?" you asked, concern lacing your voice as you tried to gauge where her head was at. however, she remained quiet, completely ignoring you as you drew closer to your destination. sensing her withdrawal, you decided to shift back into the uncomfortable silence and sounds of new york. "let's just focus on getting you home, okay?"
her lack of response only deepened the sense of unease within you. you just couldn't shake the feeling that something was troubling her, something she wasn't ready to share. it was as if a barrier had formed, isolating her from you, and it pained you to witness her distance.
before you knew it, you arrived at your place. she safely dropped you off inside and handed you the grocery bag. gwen turned to leave, but you quickly grabbed her hand. she was about to walk away, without saying a word to you.
“can you stay? just for a little?” you asked, your voice carrying a heartfelt plea. holding onto her hand, you gently tugged, motioning for her to come inside.
as she stepped through the doorway, her tall figure lowered, and then rose again. an anxious air filled the room, and you couldn't help but feel your heart race. she stood there, looking down at you, her face still obscured by the mask, but you could sense her deep ocean eyes staring right into yours. it was as if the weight of unspoken words lingered between you, begging to be acknowledged.
for a moment that felt like an eternity, the silence enveloped you both. the intensity of the unspoken emotions hung in the air, and you wondered if she would finally let the walls around her heart crumble.
as the silence lingered between you, gwen finally spoke, her voice carrying a tinge of detachment. "alright, i can stay for a little bit," she conceded, her words lacking their usual warmth. gwen took her mask off and leaned against your wall, and it looked as if she hated every minute that was going to come. she attempted to bridge the gap by asking generic questions, trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy. "so, how was your day? anything interesting happen?"
but the tension became too much for you to bear. frustration welled up inside you, and you couldn't suppress it any longer. “gwen, please, we need to talk,” you announced firmly, your voice tinged with a mix of concern and exasperation. you needed to confront her about her behavior, to understand what was truly troubling her.
gwen's eyes widened slightly, and a flicker of apprehension crossed her face while her body suddenly tensed. you haven’t even asked her anything yet and her body language already betrayed the inner turmoil she was trying to hide.
"what's really going on with you?" you pressed, your voice filled with a mixture of frustration and concern. "first, you started spending less and less time with me. then you stopped texting, and eventually, you stopped calling altogether. you're being so distant, and i can't understand why. i don't even see you anymore. gwen, talk to me, please."
gwen took a deep breath, her voice trembling slightly as she responded, "i... i don't know. i've been struggling lately, and it's just been a lot, okay?"
your heart ached, feeling the weight of her words and sensing the depth of her pain. but you couldn't let her vague answer slide. the frustration bubbled up within you, pushing you to make your own feelings known. "no, gwen, it's not okay, miss me with that!" you exclaimed, your voice tinged with desperation. "you can't keep being vague and shutting me out. we can't expect this relationship to work if you won't let me in. i know you, and i can tell when you're hurting. when you're struggling, i want to be there for you, but you don't let me. why? i just want to be there for you, to see you, and you refuse to let me!"
the words hung in the air, the tension between you palpable. before you could reach out to comfort her, gwen's next words burst forth with unexpected force, as if they had been bottled up inside her for far too long. "well, maybe we need to break up!"
her words hit you like a sudden blow, knocking the wind out of you. the intensity and impulsiveness of her statement took you aback, leaving you momentarily speechless. in truth, it startled you. her voice raised involuntarily, the words tumbling out before she could fully process them. it was as if she had unintentionally unleashed the bottled-up thoughts she so desperately tried to keep from you. but as the shock subsided, a surge of determination coursed through you. you couldn't let her push you away without a fight.
"no, gwen, we can't just throw it all away like that," you responded, your voice shaky with a mix of hurt and resolve. "i refuse to believe that breaking up is the answer. we've faced challenges before, we're a team, remember? we can work through this, but we need to communicate, to be honest with each other. don't give up on us so fucking easily,” you spoke, but it sounded like a demand for her not to just dispose of everything you both have.
silence hung heavy in the air.
gwen's fists clenched as she leaned against the wall, her back turned to you. "i'm sorry, but i can't continue like this with you," she said, her voice filled with a mix of determination and sorrow. "the city needs me, and i can't prioritize you the way you deserve."
she turned to face you, her hands gesturing passionately as she tried to explain herself. "i'm spider-woman, and this is who i am. it gives me a sense of purpose, a responsibility to protect people. but it also means my life is in chaos, torn between so many different obligations. breaking up is the best way to protect both of us from hurt."
gwen can't stand arguments, and the thought of hurting you crushes her. she knows she'll never love anyone as much as she loves you, but she's stuck and unsure about what to do. her life feels like a total mess, with a million things pulling her in different directions. how can she be spider-woman and still be with you? and honestly, she's not even sure if she's being selfish by considering a breakup. her brain keeps telling her it's the best way to protect both of you from getting hurt. but deep down, her heart screams at her to stop overthinking and just hold you tight.
you looked at her, shock evident on your face as tears welled up in your eyes. wiping your tears with your hoodie, you tried to keep your composure. "do you really mean that? you want to break up just like that, without even considering other options?" you asked, the hurt and confusion evident in your voice.
gwen snapped, her words sharp but tinged with regret. "i do mean it! you have to understand that as long as i'm spider-woman, our relationship will never work out. i'm sorry, okay? i love you more than anyone else."
tears streamed down gwen's cheeks as she despised herself and the situation she found herself in. her voice choked with emotion, she pleaded, "please, don't make this harder than it already is."
you raised your voice in frustration but quickly regained your composure. "how can you ask me not to make it harder? do you hear how you're talking to me?" you said, your tone filled with a mixture of annoyance and concern. "i love you, gwen. i wanted to be by your side. why should you have to go through this alone?" cupping her cheeks, you wiped away her tears with your thumb.
gwen sobbed, her voice trembling with sadness. "i know you do. and you would be by my side, but i can't bear the thought of you getting hurt..."
that was the crux of the matter. gwen couldn't bear to see those she cared about in danger. she had witnessed the pain and loss that came with her superhero life, and she couldn't bear to risk hurting you too. she pulled you close, embracing you tightly with all her strength. "i'm sorry, it's just... it's for you," she cried.
"for me?" you whispered, your heart aching. "but this isn't what i want..." you hugged her back, standing on your tiptoes to reach her height. "gwen, you can't let the weight of your past losses consume you. you say this is for me, but it's not what i want. i want to be with you, to support you."
gwen's voice cracked as she spoke through her tears. "but what i want is for you to be safe. i am really sorry. please don't try to convince me otherwise, it will only hurt me even more."
gwen may project strength and confidence, but deep down, she feels anything but strong. every word she speaks right now fills her with self-hatred. she believes that breaking up is truly for the best, as she wishes to shield you from the chaos of her life.
"it's really for the best," you muttered, your voice tinged with uncertainty. your eyes were red and puffy, and you pulled away slightly, nervously playing with your hoodie as you gazed up at her.
seeing your pain only intensifies gwen's own anguish. she fights back tears desperately. "it will be. i'll always love you, i promise," she whispers, holding your face gently, her eyes fixated on your swollen, red eyes that only deepen her sadness. "you'll find someone better than me, i know you will."
"please don't say that," you respond, your voice trembling as you struggle to hold back sobs. "i don't want someone else. i want you, gwen. nobody has ever understood me the way you do. every relationship has its challenges, but that's normal. i just want to be with you through it all. please don't push me away because you're scared."
and that's exactly what she's doing, pushing you away out of fear. fear of your pain, fear of her own emotions, fear of her feelings for you. gwen is overwhelmed with emotions in this moment, and your declaration of love and your belief that no one could be better for you only intensify the guilt she already carries.
"please stop," she whispers, tears streaming down her face. "there's nothing you can say to change my mind."
this is much harder than she anticipated. she thought she could simply utter those five devastating words and walk away, but she can't help but savor what might be her last moments with you. gwen locks eyes with you, torn between her heart and her mind. her mind tells her that keeping you away is the only way to protect you, but her heart yearns for the warmth of your embrace.
"we'll still see each other, i just..." she struggles to finish her sentence, tears cascading down her cheeks. she gently tries to create distance between you, despising herself for even desiring it. loving you more than anything doesn't necessarily mean she should have you; if anything, it seems to suggest that she should stay away.
"i'm so scared," she whispers, closing her eyes tightly as she holds you close. "i'm scared of all the wrong things. my mind races, imagining all the things that could go wrong. i don't want to be in a relationship where i have to choose between you and what i need to do."
she lets out a deep sigh. "it's just... my life never seems to get any easier, and i don't want to drag you down with me."
she desperately tries to convince herself that she's making the right choice, but deep down, she's failing. seeing you standing there before her breaks her heart, not only because of what she's about to do, but because it's the first time she's been this close to you in a while. it's different from the times she watched you from a distance as spider-woman because she missed you. no, not at all. you're right in front of her, and she yearns for you so intensely. yet, she can't help feeling that it's wrong for her to want you.
"life isn't supposed to get easier," you say weakly, your voice filled with sincerity. "that's why we have people who support us." cupping her cheek, you gently tilt her head to meet your gaze. "i know you're scared. i know you've been through a lot... but you're not going to drag me down with you, gwen. don't push away everyone you love. don't push me away. you don't have to face this alone. we're in this together... that's what a relationship is."
gwen stares at you, tears streaming down her face. her heart races, and her body trembles. she's never felt so torn in her entire life. what can she say? you're right. why is she trying so hard to push you away? is it truly to protect you or is it to protect herself? the latter thought resonates with gwen the most. the idea of having someone to lean on, someone to share the burden with, it's intoxicating.
"i-" she stutters, her voice unsteady. stuttering is not something typical of gwen. what you're saying means everything to her. you're expressing what she desperately wanted to hear.
"i know, i know," gwen sobs. "but there are too many 'buts.' i won't have time to see you, i'll be constantly worried about your safety, i'll have to cancel plans, and i won't be able to fully be present in our relationship anymore." tears continue to stream down gwen's cheeks as she pours out her fears. "i've lost so many people, and i can't bear the thought of hurting the few i have left..."
she locks her gaze with your tear-filled eyes. "i just don't want... to hurt you." gwen can't bring herself to say the rest. she can't vocalize her deepest fears, dreading that they might become a reality.
gwen walks past you and sits on your bed, her legs spread out slightly as she cradles her head in her hands, taking a deep breath. "i'm sorry," she mutters softly, her words muffled by her hands.
"don't apologize, gwen. none of this is your fault. you have to stop blaming yourself. we can get through this together, okay? remember, i'm your girlfriend, and i'm not going anywhere."
you approach her, positioning yourself between her legs at the edge of the bed, lifting her face to meet yours. without a second thought, you lean in and kiss her.
in that moment, time seems to slow down. gwen feels as if her heart stops beating, only to start again in the next instant.
gwen kisses you back, her body releasing the pent-up relief she has longed for. she had been scared, pushing you away when all she truly desired was to be loved by you. your words and your kiss make her feel safe. the kiss feels like pure magic. she feels your lips lingering against hers, and she can't help but smile ever so slightly.
"i thought... i thought i was alone, but... i was wrong," she whispers, her arms enveloping you in a tight embrace. in this moment, she feels an overwhelming happiness with you that she never knew existed. it's been a while since she felt this way, since the last time she saw you.
gwen loves you, and you love her. amidst the chaos surrounding them, there's no reason to push everyone away when she can pull them closer. "i love you," she manages to say, her voice weak. "and i'm so scared of losing you, of being alone. but... i'm going to try," she promises, holding you tightly.
she's deeply in love with you, and her mind is finally aligning with her heart's perspective.
"i love you too," you respond, pressing your forehead against hers. "all you have to do is try, and i'll be right here, ready to lend you my shoulder to lean on."
as you hold her close, gwen allows her mask to slip, surrendering to the overwhelming emotions. she cries into your shoulder, clinging onto you tightly. "can i... stay at your place tonight? i don't want to sleep alone," she pleads, holding onto you desperately. "i just want to be with you so badly, please."
blushing at her words, you feel relieved that you were able to talk her out of her impulsive behavior. "of course, i'll stay with you, gwen," you assure her, leaning in to peck her lips.
she looks like an emotional mess, and you can't help but feel remorse for not fully understanding the toll being spider-woman had taken on her. you knew it was a heavy burden, but you didn't grasp the extent of it. "would you like another hug?" you ask, offering a smile.
"yes, please," gwen responds desperately, reaching out her arms and pulling you closer until your bodies are pressed against each other, allowing you to feel every heartbeat, every breath. “a hug would be really nice right now.”
the feeling of being tightly held by her girlfriend is all she craves at this moment, the feeling of being home.
"i'm sorry, i just... i just love you so much that i thought i had to let you go," gwen confesses, her voice filled with remorse. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. it's just... i feel like i'm going to crack in two. spider-woman and gwen stacy, they're both pulling me in different directions... i don't know how to find balance."
your heart breaks upon hearing her words. it pains you to know that gwen feels so lost and alone, and that she was scared to open up about it.
"you can't balance two things that are the same," you explain gently. "we can't always find perfect balance in our lives. it's about learning to live with it. if you felt this way, we could've talked about it, or i could've simply been there to hug you in silence... why didn't you tell me?"
bringing up the topic of communication is painful, as it was her lack of communication that sparked this entire conflict.
"because!" gwen practically explodes in her attempt to defend herself. "because i... i'm scared." she stands up from the bed, looking you in the eye. "i didn't want to be a burden, someone you had to 'deal with.' i wanted to be there for you, but i'm always stuck being spider-woman. that's why it hurts so much. i don't want it to be the only part of me, but it is. i'm scared of having these problems, scared that they will push you away. i was afraid that telling you these things would make everything worse... i'm only realizing now that if i'm going to have any chance at a successful relationship, i have to be open and honest, even if it scares me." she takes a deep breath, walking around the room as she searches for the right words. "i was so afraid of expressing how i felt, what these overwhelming emotions meant, and most of all... i was terrified of you breaking my heart."
you listen intently, absorbing every word that falls from her lips.
"i was just so scared of everything, and i didn't expect you to be so amazing about it, like you are right now," gwen admits with a dry laugh. "i guess that makes me a bad girlfriend, doesn't it?"
gwen's tearful sniff subsides, and she wipes away her tears once more. "i know you're going to hate me for this, but if this becomes too much, and you get exhausted with me, promise you'll tell me," she says, her voice filled with uncertainty.
"i can't promise you that, gwen," you respond, your voice filled with love and reassurance. "because i'll never get exhausted being by your side. i'll always be your number one supporter... and groupie," you add, attempting to lighten the mood with a playful tease.
she chuckles at your words, a genuine laugh escaping her lips. "yeah? at least now i know who my number one fan is," she jokes, a light smile gracing her lips. the weight of guilt that had burdened her for weeks begins to lift as she realizes that talking to you is making her feel better than ever. she's starting to believe that together, you can make the relationship work.
looking up at you, gwen's eyes turn serious, peering into yours with intensity. "promise?" she asks, her voice filled with desperation, but not in a way that seeks pity. she simply yearns for reassurance and comfort. "promise me that i'll never just... be another problem in your life, something that drags you down or forces you to do more than you want to? i know you'd never truly get exhausted by me, but i understand that the pressures of being in a relationship can feel overwhelming at times."
her doubt-filled voice tugs at your heart. you want to erase all the insecurities and doubts that haunt her mind, but you also know that she must learn to stand on her own. after all, she is spider-woman.
"gwen, i will always be patient with you. i want to be by your side, and you can tell me anything, you know that," you reassure her, reaching out to touch her, your hands gently holding the sides of her neck.
as gwen sees your smile, her heart races with joy. in this moment, she feels more alive than ever before.
"my girlfriend is patient, amazing, and gorgeous..." gwen whispers, her eyes glancing at your lips as you giggle at her comment. "i love you," she says softly, leaning in to kiss you, her hands cupping your face. "i'm sorry for acting this way. if i'm honest, i think i'm the crazy one for pushing you away. i don't know what i would do without you. i'm so sorry for everything. it feels like all i've done is apologize to you."
gwen longs for your embrace, for your hands to caress her hair. the past few minutes have been a nightmare, and all she wants is to be close to you, to share the same breath. unable to contain herself any longer, she kisses you again, her hands reaching out for you as she pulls you closer, trying to make up for all the emotions she had kept inside. you kiss her back, your arms around her neck pulling her closer, feeling her chest against yours.
"you're so perfect... i can't stress that enough," gwen murmurs, looking into your eyes with deep affection. she nestles herself into your arms, embracing you tightly. "i can't imagine being with anyone else. i've never felt this way about anyone before. thank you for waiting for me, for putting up with me."
"i love you too, gwen. but you don't have to thank me for loving you. it's not a job; i love you because you're you," you reassure her, running your hands through her hair.
"i know, i know," gwen says, her voice quieter and softer. "sorry, i think i'm just emotionally drained. it's all starting to settle in." she takes a few deep breaths to calm herself. "but you're right. i'll work on finding a balance between gwen and spider-woman. and... thank you, for everything. i love you so much... you're so patient with me."
"we're going to get through this together, alright? you're not alone, i promise you. as long as i'm here, you'll never be alone," you declare to gwen.
"thank you, really..." she says in a quieter, softer voice. "i'm feeling kind of good about this now. i feel like everything will just work out, you know? like a weight is lifted off my shoulders." she smiles, her lips gently pressing against yours.
gwen's desire and longing for you intensify as she gazes into your eyes, her voice filled with a mix of passion and vulnerability. "i've missed you so much, and now that we're finally together, i want to make it up to you," she whispers, her hands still wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer.
you feel a surge of warmth and affection as you listen to her words. your love for gwen is unwavering, and you want to reassure her that she's not a bad girlfriend, despite her doubts. you place your hands gently on her chest, looking deeply into her eyes, and speak softly, "gwen, don't let this make you feel like you're a bad girlfriend. you aren't, and i mean that. everyone has their bad moments, but they pass. you've been a good girlfriend, the best i could've ever asked for."
curiosity fills your voice as you ask her how she wants to make it up to you. your eyes lock with hers, and you can sense the tenderness and desire in her gaze. the air crackles with anticipation, and you can feel the room narrowing down to just the two of you.
gwen doesn't respond with words. instead, she smiles and leans in closer, her lips almost brushing against yours. your heart flutters, and a wave of heat rushes through your body. the intensity in her eyes and the closeness between you both create an electrifying atmosphere.
your cheeks flush with warmth as you feel a mix of flustered emotions. you can't help but confess, "i mean every word of what i've told you, gwen. i could never love you any less."
without hesitation, gwen presses her body against yours, her hands against the wall, trapping you in her embrace. the tension between you builds, and your eyes remain locked as you wait for her next move.
"i love you too," she murmurs, her face reddening. her hands gently move to caress your cheeks, and your lips are tantalizingly close. gwen's breathing becomes heavier, and you can sense the rapid thumping of her heart. "so much."
she closes her eyes briefly, then opens them again, leaning in closer. gwen sighs, her lips meeting yours in a deep, passionate kiss. the sound of her slow-paced pants fills your ears, heightening the intensity of the moment. time seems to stand still as your lips finally connect, your love reaching its pinnacle. gwen holds you tightly, her body tense with desire, her face flushed with excitement. the taste of her lips leaves you feeling intoxicated, dizzy, and filled with overwhelming happiness.
this is for you. you deserve this, and so does she.
gwen wants to give you everything, and she pours her heart and soul into this kiss. her fingers intertwined with your hair, pulling you closer, wanting to be as close to you as possible.
a soft moan escapes your lips, mirroring the pleasure that gwen feels. her smile widens within the kiss, and she whimpers softly, completely lost in the moment. every sense is overwhelmed by your touch, and she can't imagine a world without your love. you are her everything.
reluctantly, gwen breaks the kiss, her eyes still locked on yours. her lips are flushed with the heat of the moment, and she bites them with a mix of desire and anticipation. her fingers continue to run through your hair, her touch filled with longing and a yearning to explore every part of you.
"i missed you," she whispers, her voice filled with longing and desperation as her heart races against yours. the sound of rain outside creates a serene backdrop, punctuated only by your labored breathing.
gently, you reach up and stroke the side of gwen's face with your hand, your touch a soothing balm against her worries. "i missed you too, gwen," you admit, your voice filled with sincerity. "i wish i had known how you were feeling, but i'm here now, and so are you."
gwen nods in response, her eyes reflecting a familiar self-critical nature that she often carries as both gwen stacy and spider-woman. she has spent so much time fighting and trying to save the world that she neglected her own needs and the needs of those closest to her. she has a tendency to push people away, always opting to face challenges alone.
"i didn't think you'd understand," she replies, her voice catching in her throat. "i've spent so much time running away, keeping everything to myself because i was so scared. it’s like everything is collapsing on me all of a sudden."
you offer a reassuring smile as gwen speaks, your touch providing her with a sense of comfort and relief. before you can respond, she continues, not pausing to let you interject.
"i wish i could be more open like you," she whispers, her words filled with determination. "i promise to change that, to be more honest. i want to be spider-woman and gwen, and i vow to never push you away because of it. you're mine, and i'm yours. you'll always be my number one. please don't ever forget that."
moved by her words, gwen leans in to kiss you once again, feeling the flutter of butterflies in her stomach as your lips meet. your love makes her feel safe, anchoring her and reminding her of who she truly is without the weight of spider-woman. with you, she is simply gwen stacy, and your love restores her sense of self.
"i wish i was a better girlfriend," she confesses, her voice barely above a whisper, but close enough for you to hear.
"gwen," you whisper in return, searching for the words that will bring her comfort. "nobody expects perfection in a relationship. ups and downs are normal, and you've been going through so much on your own. don't be too hard on yourself. i love you, and i'm here for you."
her mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, and she buries her head into your shoulder, seeking solace in your embrace. her tears fall onto your arms, and she holds you tighter, finding solace and strength in your presence.
"you're right," she sighs, her voice tinged with a mix of relief and vulnerability. "i just don't want to disappoint you. but things are changing; i promise. i love you so much. you mean everything to me."
you can sense that gwen has more to say, her thoughts jumbled and unorganized. with a gentle touch, you brush her loose hairs behind her ear and encourage her to open up further.
"talk to me, gwen. that's why i'm here," you say, offering her a safe space to express herself.
gwen takes a deep breath, her voice trembling as she continues, "i've been pulling away from you for the past few months, neglecting our relationship. i was afraid of losing you or hurting you, so i distanced myself. i've been doubting myself, questioning if i can be spider-woman, your girlfriend, and still be gwen stacy. what if i fall short? what if…”
tears well up in gwen's eyes once again, she can’t even finish her thoughts. she doesn’t want to fall short but what if she does? just like all the other times? she clings to you, afraid of losing the connection you share.
"i never want to let go of you," she whispers, her voice filled with remorse. "i'm sorry for being such a mess."
as you listen attentively to gwen's words, a se se understanding and empathy wash over you. you realize that she needs your unwavering support, and your ready to provide that.
"did you act that way because you wanted me to break up with you first? or did you just not realize how distant you were being?" you asked, your voice filled with confusion and hurt. "it really hurt me. you avoided my texts and calls, and you stopped coming to see me as often. i didn't know what i did wrong. i didn't know if you lost feelings for me, found someone else, or what was going on."
gwen quickly shook her head, her eyes filled with concern. "no, no... never that," she replied, her voice urgent. "i would never want to make you feel bad. you did nothing wrong. i didn't lose feelings for you and i definitely didn’t find somebody else. it was just me, you know? i'm the problem."
you gently cupped her face and drew her closer, your touch offering comfort. "gwen, you're not a problem to me. but please, tell me, did you want me to break up with you?"
gwen took a moment, her breathing uneven as she tried to gather her thoughts. slowly, she nodded, her face flushing with embarrassment as she began to understand the impact of her actions.
"yeah, i wanted you to break up with me," she admitted, her words coming out hastily. "i pushed you away because i thought it would be best for both of us. please don't think i cheated on you, though. i would never do that to you," she explained, her gaze fixed on the floor.
gwen looked away, tears welling up in her eyes once again. "i just felt this immense pressure, and i couldn't keep fighting everything. but i also couldn't just give up. so i kept it all inside, pretending to be okay, hoping it would all be fine. i've seen what happens to people close to me, and i didn't want that for you. i held back so that you wouldn't have to witness spider-woman taking over. i should've explained what i was feeling instead of trying to protect you in my own misguided way."
her words became muddled as tears threatened to overcome her. the thought of you being hurt because of her actions was unbearable.
you nodded slowly, taking in gwen's perspective and the reasons behind her behavior. it was bittersweet to hear that she now understood the mistake she had made and the importance of open communication.
"so, when you realized i wasn't going to break up with you, you decided you needed to end it yourself?" you asked, studying her face intently.
"i... i guess you could say that," gwen replied, her body tensing up. she fell silent, unsure of what to say or do. the weight of her actions finally settling upon her.
"you deserved to be with someone better, someone less selfish, and someone who wasn't constantly busy saving the world. i wanted you to be happy and safe, so i thought..." gwen's voice trailed off, hoarse with shame at her inability to effectively communicate her feelings. "i thought letting you go would make that happen."
gwen swallowed back the lump in her throat, her words filled with a mixture of pain and regret. "i'm just so used to hiding everything from everyone, even you. i couldn't see a way out... i felt like no matter what decision i made, i would end up losing you. either physically or emotionally. it felt too dangerous to stay together, yet pushing you away would ruin us. i felt trapped, and i thought it would be best for both of us. i thought you would end up hating me. but you've been so... so good to me, and you've shown me patience when i needed it most."
you let out a deep sigh, your mind racing. how did you not notice the burden she had been carrying? you had been there for gwen on her difficult days, but somehow, you had missed the weight she bore alone every time she sought solace in you, every time she climbed through your window at night. gwen noticed the distant look in your eyes as you grappled with your own feelings.
"i'm sorry," she whispered, her voice filled with remorse. "you're so patient, so perfect... i don't want to lose you. it wasn't right for me to break up with you like that. you don't deserve that."
she desperately wanted to fix the situation, to make you feel okay again, but she felt lost, unsure of how to proceed.
"and you thought pushing me away would make me lose interest?" you responded, a hint of disbelief in your voice, considering the depth of your connection and the challenges you had overcome together. all the times gwen had comforted you with your issues or saved you from yourself. it was almost amusing to think you would ever lose interest in gwen. "i'm almost offended that you believed that would be enough to make me give up on you and what we have."
as you spoke, you could see gwen's world collapsing upon itself, her struggle to comprehend how you could still love her after she had pushed you away.
"yeah, i know it sounds ridiculous," she admitted, her voice tinged with self-realization. "i should have seen all this time how much you've been there for me, how important i am to you. but it was only when i pushed you away that i realized just how much i truly need you," she confessed, her vulnerability laid bare. "i wanted to spare both of us the pain and struggle of my double life. i was thinking of you, but i didn't consider your feelings at all. i thought by cutting myself out of your life, i could rid you of spider-woman and the complications that come with me. i wanted to protect you from myself, from the mess that engulfs my life. and that was so wrong of me."
gwen closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "i thought you deserved better," she said in a quiet voice, her words heavy with regret. "i thought i would be this dark cloud over your life, constantly bringing you down. but i want our relationship to be better. i want to be better for you. i don't want to keep hurting you."
her hands slowly move up to your chest, fingers digging into your clothes as if wanting to feel you.
“but gwen-” you try to speak, you try to reassure her and comfort her, but she isn’t having none of it. “but nothing! i was trying to think of a way to let you go without hurting you. i thought... if i acted cold, distant, you would lose interest in me. you should have someone that doesn't stress you out and keep you awake at night just because of her issues."
she withdrew from your embrace, her movements tentative, as if trying to calm the storm of thoughts swirling in her mind.
"this is why i feel like such a mess," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "i can't think clearly, i can't find the right words, and i'm so afraid... afraid of losing you, afraid of failing, afraid of failing you. i don't have all the answers because i'm scared. i'm truly sorry."
"you shouldn't have burdened yourself like this, gwen. you shouldn't have caused us both pain. we are stronger together, you know that," you reassured her, reaching out to hold her hand, offering a gentle squeeze. "you have been an incredible girlfriend to me. can't you see that? we all have our flaws, but you have always been there for me, caring for me, making me feel loved and truly myself. there is no one else i could ever desire."
with hesitation, you leaned in, rising up to her height and tenderly kissed her, conveying the depth of your sincerity and gratitude. it was a kiss that symbolized your unwavering commitment, showing her how much she meant to you and how fervently you desired her by your side.
those few words are just what gwen needed. all the doubt inside that plagued her mind were casted away as you kissed her, pressing your lips against hers. your words
a gasp escaped gwen's lips as she felt the tender connection, her arms instinctively wrapping around you, holding you tightly. the kiss was a balm to her soul, so exquisite and intoxicating that it made her question how she could have caused you so much pain. your words alone had the power to break down her defenses, and your kiss was a testament to the depth of your affection.
"i'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice filled with remorse, as she clung to you. "i don't know what's wrong with me. i wanted to make you happy, but i kept running away. i feel so stupid. i wish i had just told you this sooner. can you forgive me?”
gwen's body presses against yours, her fingers interlacing with yours as she tries to calm herself down.
"i don't want to be spider-woman right now. i just want to be gwen stacy... your gwen stacy,” she said, staring you deeply in the eye as she leaned closer to you.
“gwen,” you said softly, “i already forgave you. i understand you and why you do the things you do and i’ll accept and love every part of it. spider and gwen, both of you are mine.”
she is utterly speechless, so much so that she wraps both her arms around you, hugging you tightly. a smile slowly spreads across her face as you speak, your words touching every part of her. it's funny how you managed to forgive her for everything. if only she was able to forgive herself. her cheeks light up red, smiling back at you. she felt so stupid, so dumb for pushing you out in the first place, and she's so relieved that you forgive her.
"really? even if i pushed you away and kept you from the love you deserved?" gwen asks, needing to hear the truth from you. "or when i was constantly thinking about spider-woman? when i was avoiding you, not giving you the emotional support you deserve?"
gwen sounded like a broken record, still taken aback at how you gave her so much time and understanding. if you could still love her after all of this, after she hurt you so many times, she couldn't tell you how much she felt she didn't deserve your love. just when she thought her relationship with you was ruined forever, gwen was finding a new reason to hold on to hope.
“you’re both of those people gwen, and i love you. no matter what, i’m gonna be there for you. i know you go through a lot, let me be by your side and make it better, okay? because i want to,” you reassured her.
"i love you," she whispers in a hushed tone. "i'm sorry for being distant, i'm sorry for hurting you every time i put my life as spider-woman before our relationship. but you're right, spider and gwen are one. they're both a part of me.. and i want you to love all parts of me.”
the feeling was euphoric. gwen knew that she could never repay you for forgiving her, nor could she even imagine what her life would be like without you in it. she hugs you tightly, not wanting to let go.
"i want to make it up to you. right here, right now," gwen whispered softly, her voice brushing against your ear as her hands found their place around your waist, gently pulling you closer to her.
"it's been too long since i've seen you," you admitted, your voice filled with yearning for gwen. it's been so long since you seen her and since you’ve been so close. you wanted to feel her touch, to be enveloped by her love.
"i know, i feel the same way," gwen whispers. "but, can i make it up to you regardless?"
there's a slight pause.
gwen moved a strand of hair aside, her breath shaky, and her eyes darting back and forth. her cheeks grow pinker, the butterflies in her stomach turning into something else entirely.
“don’t feel entitled to do any…thing,” you tried to speak, but the words got caught in your throat and you began to lose track of what you were saying.
gwen was distracting, and the way she was looking at you wasn’t helping. as the room settled into a hushed stillness, the only sounds were the measured rhythm of her breaths and the intensity of her gaze, brimming excitement.
maybe it was the pent-up frustration of not being together for so long, maybe it was the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins in this moment, or maybe it was the realization of just how deeply gwen's love for you ran.
gwen smiles at your words. she knows you've missed her, and she's missed you too. the blonde leans in closer, her hand on the back of your neck.
"i want to show you how much i appreciate you being here for me. and how much i love you right now,” she speaks up amongst the silence.
this might be the first time you've seen gwen this vulnerable, this exposed. her voice is quiet and her eyes look away, but her body is moving closer. her fingertips make their way down to your lips, grazing them lightly. "let me show you.."
you inhale, your mind feeling dizzy. god, the effect she had on you. you don’t want gwen to be hard on herself, to make her feel like she needs to make it up to you when she is the one struggling. but you could tell gwen wanted this too, she wanted to kiss you. the magnetic pull of her body to yours, the way her lips began to part the closer she got to your mouth, the way the muscles in her arms flexed as she began to hold you tighter.
"then show me," you mustered every ounce of bravery within you, determined to deflect the shyness that tinged your being. gwen's fingertips continued to trace the outline of your plush lips, her gaze locked with yours, as you issued the plea. "show me, gwen."
without a moment's hesitation, gwen closed the distance between you, her hands gently drawing you closer by the waist. the suddenness of her actions caught you off guard as she pressed you against the wall, her lips meeting yours with an intensity that eclipsed anything you had ever experienced before. passion surged through every fiber of your being in that electrifying moment, leaving you breathless and consumed by the sheer force of her affection.
her lips found yours and that's all you needed.
a wave of absolute euphoria washed over you, erasing all the problems and concerns that had previously weighed on your minds. in this moment, there were no worries, just the two of you, lost in each other's embrace. gwen's fingers delicately threaded through your hair, pulling you closer to her. her kisses grew more intense, and her grip on your back tightened as her lips ventured along the path of your neck.
the room seemed to spin, as if the rest of the world had faded into insignificance compared to the intensity of the connection you shared. gwen held you tightly, her kisses a tender exploration of desire and longing. the heat of her lips against yours ignited a fire within, as she trailed her kisses upward, tracing the contours of your neck.
as the intoxicating moment unfolded, you noticed a change in gwen's breathing, a rhythm that became short and choppy.
her lips are back to your mouth, gently holding your neck and leaning you against the wall as she kisses you in place firmly.
as the intensity of the kiss escalated, your hands instinctively gripped gwen's triceps, seeking stability amidst the overwhelming sensations that engulfed your being. the sheer power of the connection made it feel as if your mind was melting, lost in a haze of desire. a soft moan escaped your lips, echoing against gwen's mouth, making her whimper in response to the vibration.
her body tensed, caught between wanting to slow down and give you a moment to breathe, yet unable to resist the overwhelming surge of emotions coursing through her. gwen's sense of self began to blur as your touch elicited a kaleidoscope of sensations within her. the palpable tension between you two hung in the air, thick with longing.
she continued kissing you, pulling you closer into the embrace of her body. your forms melded together, radiating heat that spread through your entire being. your heart pounded within your chest, its rhythm matching the quickening pace of your breaths. it felt as though nothing else in your lives had ever held such significance.
the world around you faded into insignificance, and all that mattered was the connection you shared, an escape from the hardships of life.
gwen pulls back from you ever-so-slightly to catch her breath. she still has her hands gripping into your hair, but now her eyes are locked on yours. "god... i love you, you know that?”
gwen's mind was starting to blank, the only thing that was on it was you. your eyes, your lips, your touch. she was getting lost in you.
"i love you, i love you, i love you," she whispers out, her voice catching on her breathe as your hands grip her tighter.
“i know you love me,” you reply to her, your hands finding their way to gwen's neck as you caress her gently. “i love you just as much.”
gwen can't describe how she feels right now. finally, she feels free. she can be herself. all she wants is to be with you. she can't believe you're willing to forgive her, can't understand how you have all of this patience and understanding for her. in her eyes, you were too good, she questioned whether she truly deserved the love and compassion you showered upon her. she's not sure she deserves you. but you guys haven’t kissed in so long, and she can’t get enough of it.
"come here.." gwen whispers, pulling you back towards her for another kiss.
her kisses grew more fervent, her lips pressing deeply against yours with a hunger that matched the intensity of her desire. every fiber of her being came alive, sensations coursing through her body in a breathtaking symphony of pleasure. pure bliss surged through her veins, her head spinning with a heady rush.
your touch had an effect on gwen, weakening her knees and leaving her breath shaky and uneven. her face flushed with a rosy hue, reflecting the passion that consumed her. the stimulation she experienced was almost overwhelming, and she feels she might just explode.
though gwen attempted to regain control of her breathing, a part of her yearned for more. it felt as if she were caught in a whirlwind of pleasure, losing herself in the addicting embrace of your love. her hands tightened against the wall, their grip firm as they traversed down to your thighs, pulling you closer, bridging the gap between your bodies. the warmth radiating from your skin seemed to rival the sun itself, stoking the flames of desire within her.
gwen couldn't help but moan, her lips moving with increasing passion as she savored the warmth and taste of your mouth. despite her attempts to slow the frenzied pace, her tongue slipped out once more, driven by an insatiable craving for you. she explored down your neck with her tongue, trailing down to gently nibble along your collarbone, leaving a tantalizing trail of tingles in her wake.
"wow," you muttered, the sharp sensation of gwen's teeth grazing your skin eliciting a mix of surprise and pleasure. the sounds that escaped your lips were beyond your control, a testament to the powerful effect she had on you.
the sound of your whimper sent a jolt down gwen's spine. she possessed a commanding presence, a force to be reckoned with, and yet she found herself immobilized, unable to move as if held in place by an invisible tether. her hands instinctively found your hips, firmly pressing your body down onto her leg, as she stood, allowing you to find comfort leaning against the wall.
your entire being froze in response to the touch of gwen's leg, as if her very touch held the power of lightning, electrifying your senses. when you shuddered against her thigh, her grip on your hips tightened, her nails threatening to leave a temporary mark.
gwen was flustered, desperately attempting to assert control over the situation, but finding herself beat by the magnetic pull you exerted on her. every second that your gaze met hers, she felt an irresistible force tugging at her, drawing her closer to you as if guided by some unexplainable, otherworldly connection.
she looks up at you, her hair a mess around her face and flushed. "please, stop me…”
she spoke hushed, but her lips were glued onto yours. her body was glued to yours, her hands finding their way into your hair, her leg pressed against you, just everything about this moment was just perfect for her. you were making her lose her mind. she felt unworthy, like she didn’t deserve this after all she put you through.
“why would i do that?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper, “gwen, why would i do that when i don’t want this to stop?”
it felt like your words were an invitation just for her.
she could feel herself getting worked up again, every ounce of her just wanted this moment to continue. her mind was clouded with emotion and desire, she was lost in you.
"i missed you too, y'know," you said, your voice tinged with nervousness as you fidgeted with gwen's hair, your touch betraying your own vulnerability in the face of her silence.
hearing those words from you, expressing your longing for her touch and everything she embodied, was like the sweet relief of water in a desert. the weight of your words hit her with the force of a hammer, nearly knocking her off balance. her body quivered with anticipation, and when your hand brushed through her hair, delicately tucking it behind her ear, sparks ignited from the point of contact, spreading warmth throughout her being. the desire to kiss you consumed her, and she wasn't sure if she could find the strength to stop, especially when you begged her not to.
"i'm so sorry... i just can't stop myself," she confessed once more, her voice laced with desperation. "if you don't tell me to stop, i don't know if i can."
overwhelmed by her emotions and love for you, gwen found herself at a crossroads, teetering on the edge of restraint. but your response was firm and unwavering, "don't." the single word held a world of meaning, a silent permission to continue, and it resonated deeply within her.
her body ignited like a blazing fire, her breaths quickening as each touch sent electric pulses through her veins. "you have no idea how much..." gwen's voice trailed off, unable to find the words to convey the intensity of her emotions. she pulled back slightly, positioning herself nose-to-nose with you, her gaze locked onto yours.
"then i won't, but please... tell me to keep going," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“just kiss me, gwen."
your voice, though quiet, reached gwen's ears with clarity and resolve. gripping your face with a fervent grasp, she held onto you as though her life depended on it. her kisses grew more fervent, her tongue dancing against yours, and her hands instinctively finding their way around your neck. she lost herself in the moment, overwhelmed to the point where words gave way to passionate moans, each one a testament to the intoxication of the experience.
gwen surrendered to the pleasure, no longer resisting the desire to have her leg entwined with yours. it felt perfect, the two of you merging together in this intoxicating union. pure bliss enveloped her as sensations heightened, her ears attuned to the sound of your breathing, her body quivering with the rush of emotions coursing through her. the need to hold back vanished, replaced by an insatiable hunger.
she pulled you closer, her grip firm as she pressed you down onto her leg, the friction against the floor sending waves of pleasure through her body. everything grew hotter and heavier, the weight of the moment intensifying. gwen let out a soft moan, briefly pulling away from the kiss to lock her gaze with yours. her lips were slightly parted, her cheeks flushed with desire, as she allowed herself to become lost in your eyes.
she was holding back, trying so hard to keep herself calm and slow everything down, but everything was becoming too much, too overwhelming for her to handle. she couldn’t shake this feeling though, it was like her spider senses were going off and she couldn’t tell what the vibrations in her mind were trying to tell her.
without conscious thought, gwen's hands found the rim of her hoodie, the one you were wearing. with a gentle movement, she lifted it off you and threw it onto your bed, revealing the vulnerability of your exposed waist. her touch was tender and loving as she embraced your waist, peppering your chest with fluttering kisses that elicited joyful giggles from your lips. a smile danced upon her own as she pressed against your skin, feeling like she was able to show you how much she appreciated you and wanted you, and how stupid she was to even think of letting you go.
“i’m home! made me bust in your room because you wasn’t answering me. what the hell were you doing?” your guardian asked, not furious but confused as to why you weren’t answering.
and you were just as confused. before you could even begin to panic, gwen was gone. you hastily picked up her hoodie from your bed and clutched it shyly against your chest, overwhelmed by a wave of embarrassment and a longing to retreat into hiding.
“you good? your face looks so…” your guardian examined your features. how heavy you were breathing, how heated you looked when the weatherman this morning said it was gonna be a cool day, and just how baffled you looked. "flushed?" you responded, mustering a feeble explanation. "yeah, the sweater, uh... made me a bit sweaty. so, i decided to take it off!”
you swore you could hear a faint giggle from outside, but you chose to ignore it.
“well, okay. stop actin’ like a weirdo and i’ll be in the kitchen if you need me,” they said, turning around and shutting the door.
as the footsteps faded away, a familiar figure stealthily climbed back into your room through the window. "that was a close one," she quipped, and though you couldn't help but roll your eyes, a hint of a smile tugged at your lips.
"you're so corny. i hate you," you playfully declared, the hate part a jest born out of momentary frustration. the corny part, however, held some truth to it.
gwen laughed, charmed by your feigned pout. "love you too, but it seems like you have company, and i should get back to patrol," she stated, punctuating her words with a tender kiss on your lips as she held you close. "i'm sorry about the whole breakup thing, and i know i've said it before, but i still want to apologize. i'm committed to being better-for you, for me, and for us. i don't want to push people away when i should be pulling them closer, especially when i need them. you make my life as spider-woman so much easier than i ever realized, having someone to return to and lean on," she confessed with a genuine smile.
unable to resist, you rushed forward and enveloped her in a tight hug. she gasped in surprise but quickly reciprocated, teasingly lifting you off the ground before gently setting you down.
"will i see you later?" you inquired, hopeful anticipation shining in your eyes.
“of course you will,” she replied smugly, a smirk gracing her face. you couldn't help but giggle "i'ii swing by around 6, sound good?"
"absolutely," you confirmed, your radiant smile illuminating your features.
with a final smile, gwen leaned back into your window and gracefully disappeared into the night, swinging away. you waved goodbye from a distance, heart brimming with warmth and excitement for the future.
true to her word, gwen returned as promised around 6 o'clock. but more significant than her punctuality was her unwavering commitment to keeping her promise of being more open with you and making an effort. she showed you that she was willing to put in the work, to learn from her past mistakes, and to become the best version of herself -for you and for the relationship you shared.
A/N: i think i almost died typing all this. 10.5k words. im crying…
© 2023 primaviva
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margotw10bis · 2 months
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Crashing On Crush.JJK 6 [m]
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crush!Jungkook x reader / Hoseok x reader
Genre: smut; series; romance; angst
Words: 5.1k
Synopsis: What happens when your first encounter with your crush is Jungkook seeing your ass?
Warnings: angst; broken heart; mention of death; protected sex; oral sex (f. receiving)
previous ← 6 → next
Graduation Day. Today, you finally graduate from college. It's officially the end of your long academic journey and the beginning of the 'real adult life'. You have dreamt about this day for years: being finally able to introduce yourself as a Master's Degreed Cultural Business professional. You've planned this day a hundred of times with Suzi. You should be happy, party with your friends, have fun. But your mood is miles away from that. The poor seven days after Jungkook's broken your heart weren't enough for you to heal.
Jongseob is by your side though, the exact same way you were for his high school graduation. He looks so happy for you that you don't want him to worry about you. So you put a fake smile on your face and act like everything's fine. His innocent eyes are shining with pride and affection and that puts some ointment on your ripped heart some what.
"How is it to be free from school?" He asks you with his imperfect yet so cute smile
"I guess you'll have to finish college to know" You answer while he winces.
Jongseob hasn't decide yet if he wants to go to college next year. You wish he would so he can have more choices in the future but you don't want him to be unhappy and force him to do something he doesn't like.
"You're no fun, Noona"
You stick out your tongue at him to tease. He hugs you tight and you feel good for the first time in days in his arms. You realize that the little boy you met years ago is becoming a strong man. His embrace is getting more and more powerful, just like he is turning into an adult. You're proud but also a little bit worried that maybe he won't need you anymore. But it's far from the truth: you will always have a special place in Jongseob's heart because you had been and will always be his family, even when he was alone.
"I love so much, Jongseob" You whisper emotionally, so thankful to him to lighten your mood while he has no clue of it
"I love you too, Noona"
————
"Please, Kookie!"
"No, it's not a good idea" Jungkook sighs
She has been yapping in his ears for fifteen minutes now and Jungkook's starting to have a headache.
"Come on! We haven't hung out for years! It's gonna be fun!" She is pouting, trying to coax him while he sighs for the thousandth time.
Jungkook sits on his couch, trying to not remember how it felt like when he has hold you in his arms at the very same spot a few days ago. It seems like years ago to him now. A harsh pinch in the heart makes him wince at the thought. He misses you so much.
The past week, he has tried everything to forget you: he has worked overtime to keep his mind busy, spent hours in malls with her talking about new fashion trends - as if he gives a fuck about it - and he has been working out a lot. Right now, he doesn't want to do anything. He just wants to stay home, alone, and try to fix his damaged heart. He has given up everything, given up you, for her and she was asking for more. How much could he handle until the breaking point?
"I swear, we gonna have fun, Kookie. We don't even have to drink so you could take your lovely fancy car"
Jungkook stares at her with narrow eyes, trying to figure out if it's a good idea. It's definitely not. Yet, he says:
"Okay, but no drinking" He is not sure he'll have the patience to deal with a drunk person tonight while he surely wants to get wasted to forget you a few seconds.
"Yes! Thanks, Kookie!" She brightly yells, throwing herself at Jungkook's neck and giving him a big kiss on the cheek.
————
"Can you tell me once again why we are here?"
You are grumpy. Even when Suzi has tried by all means to cheer you up, it didn't work. Tired from trying, your best friend ended up dragging you - against your consent - in a club.
"Because we have talked about it a thousand times and we agreed on celebrating our graduation months ago. Come on, it will be fun, I promise" Suzi softly says to you, kissing your cheek
You can't blame her, it's true. You, indeed, were supposed to party after the graduation ceremony and go to the club since Suzi loves it. You promised her. But when you did, you didn't know that a tattooed man with piercing would break your heart. However, you enter the club and the loud music is already hurting your ears. This is going to be a long night.
Everyone is so happy. Suzi, your friends from college and Taehyung are all dressed up and in the mood of partying. Not you. You didn't even put any efforts on your outfit: just a simple pair of jeans with a - oh, fancy! - lilac bardot top. You try, you really try to be in the mood, smile and joke with everyone but you can't. Every time your eyes close, you see him. His long, black and smooth hair. His beautiful dark doe eyes. His perfect lips. Those same lips that kissed you and then opened to say 'I love you' to another girl.
You give up hope on having a good night and walk straight to the bar. Alcohol will be your friend tonight. You directly order two shots of vodka, wishing that after that you won't have this handsome man in your mind.
Next to you, a woman appears.
"A diet Coke, please!"
You tense immediately. This voice. No. No, no, no. This can't be. Fate can't be this cruel to you. You don't hear well because of the shitty and loud music. But you can't help turning your head at her. It's her. The girl you saw in Jungkook's arms. She is gorgeous. Long dark, almost black, straight hair. Beautiful brown almond eyes. And a perfect smile with full lips. The smile you should have on your face tonight.
You just stare at her, speechless.
"Celebration night?" She asks you cheerfully while your heart squeezes in pain
"Yeah" You answer with a white voice
You just pray she is alone and he is not here. But who are you kidding? The odds have never been on your side. You are just unlucky. So, of course, he walks right at her, not even noticing you. And that fucking hurts.
"You said no alcohol" He talks in her ear
Seeing him this close to her, her back leaning on his buff chest is painful. This is everything you wanted and Jungkook has it, with another woman. Your heart burns and its beats echo in your ears. You feel your throat drying and your eyes watering.
"Relax, Kookie, it's just a Coke"
Then, Jungkook's eyes meet yours. The surprise is more than visible on his perfect face - the face you wish you didn't miss this much. You still remember how his lips felt on yours, how his long almost touching shoulders hair felt under your fingertips. It felt so good so why does it hurt so bad now? Why does he have to look so good in his black t-shirt and same color jeans when you look like trash? Didn't he feel any pain last week while you were crying every night in your bed? It looks like it...
"Y/N?" His deep voice becomes suddenly raspy and is almost a whisper
"Oh, you know each other?" The girl says and then smiles at you, even that hurts you "I'm Mina, Jungkook's girlfriend. Nice to meet you"
You feel like throwing up. Jungkook has a girlfriend and he cheated on her with you. And now you are facing her! How are you supposed to face her? You feel so guilty. You don't even look her in the eyes. It takes everything from you to give her a weak 'Nice to meet you too'.
You notice your two shots that the bartender has just put on the desk and drink them one shot. The vodka burns your throat and your stomach, which makes you wince, but it's nothing compared to your fucking torn apart heart.
You walk away, putting as much distance as you can with Jungkook and his girlfriend. Your vision is blurred by burning tears and you are struggling to breath. You bump into so many people on the crowd dance floor on your way to the exit. At some point, you run into Suzi. Her smile immediately fades away when she sees the panicked and hurt expression on your features.
"What's going on?"
"I-I can't stay here. I'm sorry. Jungkook, he-I'm sorry" You can't speak properly with your erratic breathe and messed up brain
You push Suzi's hands off of your body and run to the door, begging for air.
————
It was a bad idea. Jungkook knew it. He should have said no to Mina. The way you looked at him and then, the sorrow that twisted your pretty face... He couldn't take it. He swears he heard his heart break again when you left.
"Why would you do that?" He speaks harshly to Mina
"Do what?"
"Say you're my girlfriend"
"Because I always do that. I say I'm your girlfriend, you say you're my boyfriend. We always do that" Mina frowns
"We did. Don't do it anymore"
Jungkook clenches his jaw so tight that his teeth hurt. But he knows that it's not over when a furious Suzi walks straight to him. He has never seen his best friend's girlfriend like that. If eyes could kill, he would be dead for sure.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Suzi shouts, pushing harshly Jungkook's chest with her two palms.
He winces more from the pain caused by her words than her gesture.
"Wooh, calm down. Who the hell are you?" Mina intervenes and it's a fucking bad idea
Suzi glances at the girl. Your best friend gets even angrier when she understands everything: the real reason why you were so heartbroken is this girl. Jungkook lied to you! He made a fool out of you! He played with your heart so easily and now he is having a good time with a girl? Suzi can't bare with it.
Suzi has known you for four years and you are one of the most important people in her life. You shared your room at the beginning of college, you were there when her stupid ex-boyfriend cheated on her the first year, you helped her moving with Taehyung. You love her and she loves you. During all the years you have been friends, Suzi has never seen you being mean to someone. You are always kind, you always try to please everyone even when that means you being uncomfortable. You are the best person she knows and fuck! you don't deserve any of this twisted situation. You deserve the kindest man and he would be the luckiest person on Earth to be loved by you.
"You piece of shit" Suzi hisses with disgust "How could you do that to her? Y/N is such a nice girl. Do you have any idea how much she's cried the past few days?"
Jungkook's heart tighten, feeling your pain just like his. He swears he didn't want to hurt you but he didn't have a choice. Not when Mina was here and he had to take care of her. He wants to tell Suzi to stop talking because knowing how much you have suffered because of him is too much to handle. However, if your best friend thinks he is an asshole and tells you to stay away from him, then he would know there is no chance for him and he wouldn't be tempted to run after you and beg you for forgiveness.
"Stay away from her! Don't ever talk to her again! You don't deserve anything from her, not even a glance, not even a thought. And I don't want to ever see you again so don't step in my apartment again"
With that, Suzi leaves, her heart pounding with adrenaline, anger and sadness for you.
"Is everyone crazy in Seoul?" Mina jokes
Jungkook doesn't even talk back and walks through the crowd. He needs air. Everything around him is too heavy: the air in the club, the heat from sweaty people, and the huge pain of his heart. It's all crushing him.
The second he pushes the heavy exit door, the air slaps his face. He steps aside the small crowd near the entrance wanting to enter the club or smoking a cigaret. Everything is so fucked up in his life. He needs to think and to convince himself he can't be with you. But that's so hard when he sees you panting and crying in the middle of the street, just a few meters away from him. He doesn't want you to cry for him, he is not worth it. He wants you to be happy and that's the only reason why he's pushed you away. However, when he sees you like this, he wishes he could travel back time.
His body is moving instinctively and he doesn't notice he is hugging you until he feels your body tightly pressed against his.
Your eyes widen. For a moment, just a second, all the pain is gone. Jungkook's warm and strong arms around you make everything bad disappear. It's so easy for him to make you happy - or sad. A small part of you forgives him everything immediately and is willing to not ask any question as long as he keeps you in his arms. But the other part is too hurt and overwhelmed by how right it feels to be in his embrace.
You try to push him away but he is way stronger than you.
"Get off of me!" You exclaim, sounding more hurt than angry
He does distance himself from you but not too much. He still has his big palms on your bare shoulders, making you look at him in his pretty eyes. You swear you can see as much pain as you feel but it can't be true: he has a girlfriend, he doesn't love you and he lied to you. It's just your imagination because it's what you wish so much: him to love you.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry"
His voice is broken, his eyes get watery and you close yours in disbelief.
"I don't want to listen to you. You lied to me! You lied to her!"
Your eyes are red and big round tears are rolling on your cheeks. This is pathetic, crying in front of him. You try once again to get rid of his hands.
"Listen to me, Mina is not-"
"Don't touch her" A strong man's voice cuts Jungkook off while he is pushed by the stranger
You look up at your savior and you gasp. Hoseok, the sunshine in the darkness. How ironic is it to meet your first ever crush when your current one has broken your heart?
You are equally surprised to see him than to see how his features are tensed while he is sweetest guy in the world. You haven't seen him in years. Strangely enough, he was the reason why you wanted to move to South Korea for your studies.
Hoseok, while he is almost seven years older than you, was your neighbor abroad. He was born in Korea but his parents moved in the house next to yours when you were six. Your parents are friends and you can't count how many evenings you've spent together. As a teenager, you began to have your very first crush on your handsome neighbor. He was sweet, nice and always smiling. When you think about him, your heart is full of happy memories. Of course, due to the age gap, you never said anything about your feelings towards him and you know he saw you like a little sister. However, few time after his studies, Hoseok went back to Korea and that's when you decided you would go too and maybe, if it's fate, you would meet Hoseok again.
Your crush on Hoseok was the innocent one. The one you have when you're young and you're willing to love more than to be loved. Now, you have no romantic feelings for him but a huge affection. He has changed your life in so many ways, especially when it's thanks to him you started get interested in the Korean culture.
"Are you okay?" Hoseok asks you with a softer tone
"Hobi?" Is all you manage to say with a small and shaky voice and you are quite surprised how his surname came so naturally on your tongue. More than that, it feels sweet and safe.
On the other hand, Jungkook's knuckles whiten as he clenches his fists. He wonders who the fuck is that guy. Also, he is angry that this guy has stopped him while he was trying to explain himself to you. If he has to, Jungkook won't hesitate to punch him, especially when he sees his hand grabbing yours.
"Y/N, please, let me talk to you" Jungkook tries to soften his voice when he talks to you but it's a hard thing to do when his whole body is so tensed
"Please, Hobi, let's leave"
Jungkook's heart squeezes and it's even more painful that you don't look at him at all.
Hoseok simply nods and leads you to his car.
It's an understatement to say he was surprised to see you. He wasn't even sure it was you: the last time he saw you, you were fifteen - that's to say just a kid for him. Now, you are a woman. A beautiful woman. He knew you were in Korea because his parents'd told him but he just didn't expect at all to meet you like this. However, when he heard this all-in-black guy calls your name, he didn't hesitate and pushed him away from you. Seeing you cry rekindled his protective instinct towards you.
"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Hoseok asks when you get in his car
"I don't want to talk about it" You answer honestly
Hoseok firmly grips the wheel, a hundred of scenarios in his head wondering how much this asshole hurt you. He swears to god, if he has touched you, he will kill him. Lost in his thoughts, he startles when you put a delicate hand on his taut one. His eyes soften forthwith and he manages to give you a weak smile.
"Thank you for helping me" You say
"You don't have to thank me, Y/N. Do you want me to bring you home?"
"Actually..." You blush hard "Can we go at yours instead? I don't want to be home alone"
Hoseok takes a moment to think, wondering if it's truly appropriate. But when he looks at you, he sees two things: how sad you are and that you are not the kid he knew in the past. You're a grown up woman and you are able to make your own decision. If you need his help, anyway is it, Hoseok will help you. However, he can't say he is not caught short of how beautiful you are. He has to shake his head to not think about you in another way than his sweet young neighbor.
"Sure" He eventually says with a dry throat, especially abashed when you give him a gorgeous smile.
Hoseok's apartment is way bigger than yours but it's homy. It feels just as warm and welcoming as Hobi's smile. You notice some pictures with his parents and family, and with his friends too. You are smiling while you are browsing the paper memories. But you suddenly gasp. One photo, way bigger than the other ones is a wedding. Hoseok's wedding! He is smiling like crazy in his beautiful white suit and he is holding the hand of the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Her hair is delicately style in a fluffy bun and her wedding dress makes her look like a princess.
"You're married?!" You scream more than you ask, in a high pitch
"I, uhm, yes, kinda"
Hoseok's smile is so sad when he gets close to you to look at his wedding photo. He knows it by heart but he is always amazed by how gorgeous Sojung is.
"Where is she? I hope she doesn't bother me being here"
"She passed away two years ago"
There is so much pain in Hoseok's voice. You feel your heart breaks with his.
"Oh my god, Hobi, I'm so sorry, I didn't know" You squeeze gently his shoulder to confort him and he gives you a thanking smile
"She was sick even before the wedding. But we wanted to get married. You know, it's funny because there was no point of that, we knew she would die few weeks after the ceremony. But we did it anyway: getting married knowing it was useless... It was worth it though. Sojung was so happy, she laughed the whole day"
You can't hold your tears when you listen to him. You feel so bad for him. Hoseok is always so happy, so cheerful. He is a true sunshine. Knowing he's been through so much pain is heartbreaking. You would give everything for him to be with his wife right now.
"I'm so sorry, Hobi"
You hug him tightly while you are both crying. You don't know how long you stay like that but something changes in you. And you are sure that Hoseok feels the same thing. Sharing your pain with someone you've known for years but have no idea of your biggest pain is someway liberating and comforting. You share your pain and you heal each other's sore. You don't need to talk because yours and Hoseok's hearts are directly connected and understand each other's.
He cups your face in his big hands, looking straight in your watery eyes with his own. He is so beautiful: his perfect brows, his brown and soft eyes, his perfect nose and his heart-form lips. You are drowning in his eyes.
"Can you love me just for tonight?" Hoseok asks you in a whisper
"Only if you love me for tonight too" You murmur
It's exactly what you felt when you hugged: you both need to feel loved. Just for a night. Your two hearts are full of love but have no one to love. You both know that, as your lips meet, you are secretly willing to be with somebody else. But it doesn't matter, all you need now is each other.
Hoseok's lips are soft and warm. It's like a big hug around your entire body and you feel safe. The kiss is nothing like sultry but passionately sad. Yet, your heart beats faster as Hoseok presses his lips harder against your mouth. Your hands find their way to his hair while his hands are holding your waist tighter. Soft moans escape your lips glued to Hobi's. The kiss feels good. It exactly feels like what you need.
Without pulling your mouths apart, Hoseok guides you towards his bedroom. You don't have time to look around but it's like a safe place. You pull on his shirt to help him get rid of it. You are surprised to see how defined are his muscles. Hoseok has always been fit but it's the first time you see him shirtless. And it's quite a pleasant view. You can't deny the arousal slowly building up in your stomach, especially when Hobi's mouth starts working on your neck. The wetness of his lips and tongue against the burning, thin and sensitive skin of your throat feels so fucking good. Your head is completely in the clouds of horniness.
Hoseok leaves your skin just the time to take off your top and his eyes meet your perfect breast cloaked in your strapless skin color bra. He gently kisses the bare skin and smoothly undoes your bra. It's on the floor in no time. Your fingers run up and down against his strong and soft back, pulling him closer to you. Hoseok's mouth makes its way down until he kneels in front of you. He looks up at your face to silently ask you permission to slide down your last pieces of clothing, and you are all up for it. His delicate fingers unbuttons your jeans and drag them down your legs.
Your moan fills the air when Hoseok gently kisses you through your panties' fabric. You feel it soaked from your arousal. The last clothing barrier is getting rid off and two big palms are holding on your hips. The grip is firm and fucking good. However, not as good as Hoseok's lips on your clit. The position is so sinful when you're standing up, completely naked, a man's face in front of your wet pussy kissing your sensitive bud. His tongue is warm and powerful while it rolls around your clit at a delightful pace. Your hands grab Hoseok's hair to not fall down under the pleasure he is providing you. He takes your left leg and makes it rest on his large shoulder to have a better access to your dripping cunt.
"Oh fuck!" You moan
His tongue is devilishly expert. It licks the right place over and over again until you feel your body tense and lightly shake. You roll your head back, your groans getting louder and deeper. His hands squeeze your perfect ass and the fire in you explodes. You shout his name when you reach your high.
Hoseok gets up and you fall against his chest because of your post-orgasm shaky legs. You feel good in his arms, especially when he pats your hair. You catch your breathe and starting unbuckling his belt before undressing him. You gasp and blush hard when you see Hoseok's cock. You've never thought you would see it one day, and he has nothing to be ashamed of. Hoseok's member is not particularly thick but it's definitely long. The sight of his hard cock makes your mouth water at the same time it makes your pussy even wetter.
You press your lips on his, feeling his dick pressed on your belly, hard and warm. You gently push Hobi on the bed, his back resting on his headboard. You get on top of him, still kissing. You bite his lower lip when his hands firmly grab your ass. He places delicate pecks on your collarbone to your tits. You press his head deeper on your skin.
"Grab a condom in the night stand" He asks you with a raspy voice
It's at that moment that you realize he hasn't spoke until now. You stretch your body to open the drawer and pull off a metallic square packet. You open it and give the condom to Hoseok for him to cover his length. When he is done, he grabs your hips and push you down. Right before entering you, he looks you in the eyes. You nod, saying that you're okay and he slowly stretches your pussy. It feels so good and a long moan escapes your parted and swollen lips.
"You feel so good" Hoseok whispers against your neck with his eyes closed
You stay on his cock a few seconds to adapt. He is so long, you can feel him very deep inside you. You rest your forehead against his and start bouncing on him. Sinful sounds of skins slapping fill the air and make you more horny. You even have the feeling that Hoseok's cock is getting harder. Quickly, your skins are covered with a thin layer of sweat. You hold him close to you, your arms around his shoulders. Hoseok's fingers grab your boob and play with your nipple while the other is wrapped around your waist helping you to ride him.
"Oh my god, Hobi!" You scream when his cock hits your g-spot
"Keep going, it's so fucking good, Y/N" Hoseok cheers you before storming on your pretty lips "You are so gorgeous, do you know that?"
His compliment makes you clench around his long dick. Each slide against your walls is a pleasure that makes your tighter. You are beginning to feel tired, especially when your second orgasm is not far but Hoseok helps you by lifting his hips to meet yours harder and deeper. The slapping sounds made by your thighs is louder and it drives you and Hoseok crazy.
"I'm close" You groan, closing your eyes to concentrate on the feeling of his big cock buried in your cunt
You feel good in his arms, you feel so close to him. He is taking you like he loved you and you are taking him like you loved him. This is exactly what you both needed. The whole bedroom is filled with your moans and slapping skins. You feel your pussy getting tighter and tighter around him, warning Hoseok that you're going to cum soon. He pounds you a little faster to make you reach your climax right before him, moaning each other's names.
You are both panting, foreheads against each other's. Hobi's hands gently caress your arms and your back while you free his pretty face from his sticky hair.
"Thank you, Y/N, for loving me tonight" He says, softly kissing your lips
"Thank you for loving me tonight, Hobi" You whisper back
He invites you to take a shower, which you gladly accept. Someway, your heart feels less heavy. Not only you didn't think about Jungkook while you were with Hobi, but you also could release a little bit of your love to give it to someone who needed it. Hoseok feels the exact same. He didn't think he would ever, ever have sex with you and yet, it was a beautiful moment. You were so delicate in his arms and he has held you so sweetly, giving up a little bit of his sorrow. He just hopes you don't think he was using you, and he hopes that you could spend time together and try to be the old friends that you are.
————
Your day is a perfect example of the Ying Yang symbol. Everything started good, great even: Namjoon has just told you that the gallery wanted to keep working with you and offered you a permanent contract. You were so, so happy and you gave him a little demonstration of your 'happy dance' and he laughed a little bit too much to not upset you - not that you resent him because you ended up laughing harder when he started dancing too.
But then, everything went beyond wrong when Aecha, your colleague in charge of the communication, asked you to welcome the new graphic designer for a future exhibition in few months. In fact, in a city as big as Seoul, the odds of this graphic designer being the only person you don't want to see are low. But you are not lucky. Because while waiting for this new partner to arrive, your heart skips a beat when none other than Jeon Jungkook walks towards you. 
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g0ldenzinnie · 5 months
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Halloween Dates x NCT Dream P.t 2
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Couple: Nct Dream x fem!reader
Genre: Fluff, suggestive, cursing, cheesy (a lot), halloween.
Word count: 5,31 K
NOTE: I know this is getting uploaded very late, I was busy with university and other stuff. But I made them longer so you can enjoy (I hope)
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Haechan x Trick or treat
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When he told you he wanted to do this, you thought he was joking. But of course, he wasn't. You didn't know if it was because you were on an examination period lately and didn't pay him as much attention. Or because he was low in sugar. Didn’t matter, you were there. Chasing children through the streets to pick candy. 
“I can’t believe you convinced me to do this.” You say walking spiritless. Haechan bumps his shoulder with yours. “C’mon, it’s fun!” He replies, taking out some candy of his bag. Your bags were half full, surprisingly for you. Some of the adults laughed at you, showing in their front door. They thought it was cute of you to do this activity. And obviously, most of the women were enchanted by the soft gaze and smile of your boyfriend. Thanks to that, his bag was more full than yours. However, some of them were not as gentle. You lacked the fingers to count how slam doors you received. Judging looks, followed by rolling eyes. Your mood was decreasing from every one of these things. And Haechan noticed it. His objective for today was definitely far from being completed. 
His idea started one week ago, when you were stressing over a test. You were pulling your hair with your fingers, your forehead against the desk. A whimper became a groan, and the groan became a scream. Haechan came running from the living room, and quickly went to you. He took your face with both hands and softly lift your gaze. Your eyes were watering, red and puffed. “My babygirl” He whispered, looking at you with affliction. “I’m sorry.” You murmured taking his hands, rejecting his embrace since you felt guilty. “I didn’t want to scare you.” 
“Don’t” He argued. The last thing he wanted, was for you to feel ashamed to ask for comfort. Especially his comfort. He kissed your forehead, and took you bride style to the bed. You tried to stop him with the argument that you had to finish studying, however he didn’t listen. And also you were so tired. Emotionally and physically. He wrapped you under the covers and scoops beside you to cuddle. His hands were caressing your arms, his nose stoking cheek. And his beautiful voice humming a lullaby just for you. You felt in heaven. With this boy, the responsibilities and stress were banished. You were cozy and protected. That’s the reason you said the following, “I wish I was a kid.” And with that, your boyfriends mind started working. 
Little did he know that his plan in the future was going to be a total failure. “Baby, I love you for doing this. And also I had fun, but I have to finish my project.” You said with worry. However, your boyfriend's mind was certain. He wasn't going to give up until he got what he wanted. “Okay, we can go home. But one last house.” You shake your head. “Haechan…” 
“Just one baby, please.” He begged with a cute voice. His hands were behind his back and his body went left to right with an innocent look. You sight by his cute face and bite your lip. “Damn it, I hate it when you do that '' He leaves a satisfying laugh and gives you a peek on the lips. “Let's go '' He took your hand and quickly looked for a house to disturb. He soon finds one where some kids were gathered in the front door. 
You put yourselves at the end of the line and wait. The kids passed by, and finally it was your turn. But the face of the lady wasn't as welcoming as before. She tries to close the door, but Haechan quickly stops her. “Trick or treat.” He says, smiling. “Please, you're not kids.” She replies, rolling her eyes. “We are inside our hearts.” Your boyfriend insisted. Apparently, the lady hasn’t been having a good day. Because what she did after, didn’t represent someone patient. She took a bunch of candy in a fist, and launched it to your face. “Here, now piss off. Assholes” She slammed the door on you and turned off the lights. You sight and bow down to pick the candy. Trying to swallow your anger and shame. Because first, you didn’t want to sink to her level. And second, you didn’t want to bother Haechan. He quickly helps you gently, but his face was pure anger. “Baby, let’s just go.” You comforted, rubbing his arm. He shakes his head, and gets up. “Not when that bitch disrespected you.” You get up and take his hand. “Look, it's fine. Let’s go.” He shakes his head with his jaw tightened. Rejecting any idea of walking out. “No, it’s not fine! She could’ve just not given us candy. Not shoved in our face. Especially your face.!” He barked, punching the door. Then, like in cartoons, you swear a lightbulb illuminated above Haechan’s head. He had that mischievous smile and gaze, just like a naughty kid. You shake your head, panicking because you knew that face, and you knew the ideas that came along. 
“No, no. Whatever it is you're thinking, I’m not doing it.” You state before trying to walk away. He quickly grabs your arm, and leans you towards him. “You’re gonna love this. I swear it.” He kisses your cheek and guides you to another place. 
After a quick shopping stop, you were again in front of the lady's house, with a tray of eggs. 
“Haechan, I appreciate you doing this. And I really, really want to, but we could get in trouble.” He just gave you a grin. “It’s Halloween. It’s normal to make some trouble” He takes one egg out and passes it to you. You looked at it with doubt, and leaned your head. “I don't know.” 
“What? You’re a chicken?” He started to cluck and dance around you imitating a chicken. You laugh at him mocking you. “Oh, so this is how it is?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. With sudden adrenaline, you launch the egg to the lady’s window. This breaks, leaving a mess. You laugh and cover your mouth. “Holy shit.” 
“That’s it baby!” He screams proud. He takes another egg and launches it to the roof. You laugh and imitate him, pointing at the walls. 
You kept doing that, celebrating each other's runs. The excitement running through your veins. You haven’t laughed like this for weeks. Haechan was pleased. Looking at your smile was the best reward he could ask for. There was only one egg remaining. He handed it to you. “Want to do the honors, miss?” He spoke, giving it to you as a precious gem. You bowed, taking it. “I would be honored, mister.” 
You blow on it for luck, and stretch your arm for better aim. You didn’t know if it was the universe, or just luck. But the odds were in your favor. You think. 
When you threw the egg at the door, at the same time the lady went out of the house. So the egg ended, not on the wooden door, but in the woman's face. You gasped and Haechan does the same while he chuckles. “That’s my girl!” The woman then screams of anger. “Damn you kids!”
“Ha! So you admit we are kids!” Your boyfriend rejoined. “Haechan run!” You say, taking his hand before the lady could catch you up. 
Jaemin x Haunted House
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“Hey, you are cheating! Open your eyes.” Jaemin says, tickling your stomach. “I don't want to! Ah!” You scream when another actor comes to scare you. You hide in Jaemin’s chest, and he wraps you in his arms, laughing. “C’mon Angel, it’s almost finished.” He says, encouraging you to keep walking. “You’re lying!” He puts himself behind you, giving you kisses on the head. You start walking through the dark and bloody hallway, with your hand covering your face. 
You didn’t even want to go in the first place. Your local town held a trade fair for this Halloween, and you and Jaemin decided to go. It was pretty fun at first, but after a few rounds you already did everything, except for the Haunted house. “I am not going in there” You said, crossing your arms. Jaemin started to beg, putting himself to your level, since he was taller. His hands were together, and his lips were pouted. Giving you that gaze that was easily confused with starlight. He has never looked so cute. 
“Please! I promise I will do anything you ask. Besides, it would be fun. I promise” You raise an eyebrow, smiling. “So, anything I ask?” Jaemin’s expression changed completely. “Wait, what do you have in mind?” After you told him, he refused immediately. But when you easily decided to keep going, assuming that you won, he said “Okay I’ll do it”. Your face drops in amazement. You were still trying to process the information, when your boyfriend grabs your hand and drags you to the haunted house. 
So here you were, torturing yourself just to see your boyfriend dressed as a strawberry milk. According to him, the thing he hated the most in the world. “I'm not going to wear that disgusting thing, unless you open your eyes.” He says, still behind you. “That was not part of the deal” You state, still with your hands on your face. Jaemin then decides to start to take action. He wrapped his hands around your wrists, pulling your arms down, so you could see your surroundings. You try to stop him, but he just shushes you. “It’s okay. I’m here.” You whine, looking carefully, if something was going to pop up. Jaemin did too. He was never going to mention it, but he was freaking out. 
A minute ago, he almost punched a guy when he appeared out of nowhere from a wardrobe. But he wasn’t going to run, not when you were here. He would rather die, then leave you alone with these people. Especially with the chainsaw guy, he looked at you very suspiciously. His thoughts were interrupted by your scream when a mourning bride appeared. He instantly wrapped you in his arms, repeating that everything was okay. It was, until a zombie popped behind him when you heard your man scream loudly and curse. Even though you were frightened, you turned smiling. “Easy baby, everything will be alright” You say, mocking him. “Yeah, yeah. Keep walking.” You laugh seeing his response, and kiss his hand. 
After that, you entered what anybody would call “the eye of the hurricane”. Practically there was nothing in there, just some scary and gross stuff. The lighting was red, so barely you could see what you were stepping on. “You know, you don’t have to be manly.” You said all of a sudden. Jaemin was surprised by your declaration.  
“It’s just that, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be yourself when I’m around. You know?” You explained, without looking at him yet. You didn’t know how he was going to respond. Or if he would be offended. Experiences of your past relationships came by, where men were offended with their masculinity by the bare minimum. But Jaemin was different. 
He made you turn to face him, looking at you delicately. He took your face with both hands with care, and gave you a smile. 
“I am only myself when I’m with you, princess” He says in a whisper. Like he didn’t want the other scary actors to know. His thumb was caressing your cheek, making you feel more secure than ever. “You make me feel secure. Every time that I’m with you, I feel safe.” You smiled and left a sigh relieved. He reads your reaction and leans his head, confused. “Do you feel safe with me, princess?” He asks worriedly. You shake your head immediately. “I do.” Jaemin gives you a little smile. Then, he leans forward to give you a kiss. It was gentle, and comfy. Full of happiness and joy. Nothing like your surroundings. Jaemin broke the kiss, but he still stayed close to your lips, smiling at them. They were the sweetest candy he ever tasted, and he planned to never stop tasting them. 
Except now, since behind you there was the most terrifying nun he ever saw. He screamed with all his being, making you turn around. You also scream, stepping back to Jaemin’s chest. “Screw this, let's run!” He screams, taking your wrist to pull you out of there. You pass the nest rooms, running for your life, screaming but also laughing. When it was finally over, you promised to each other, never go to another haunted house ever again.
And if you're wondering, yes. He did dress later as a strawberry milk, and you dressed as a chocolate milk. You were the cutest couple there. 
Chenle x Costume Party
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Definitely this was one of the things you better prepared in your whole relationship. You and Chenle started organizing this, since the day you declare yourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. Looking for different ideas on the internet. “I think Rapunzel and Flynn would be cute.” You offered, looking at the picture. Chenle makes a grin and shakes his head. “I want something cool.” 
“But it is cool.” You argued, pouting your lips. He smiles and kisses your head. “I’m not gonna disguise as something we already are, my princess.” He bragged confidently. You laughed and continued to look for ideas. 
You had a lot of obstacles. You wanted more of a cute look, while Chenle wanted something more funny and cool. Then when you agreed on something, the guys would steal it from you. First it was Mark and Haechan, stealing your idea of dressing up as Mario and Luigi. Then, it was Renjun and Jisung with Cosmo and Wanda. And finally, Jeno and Jaemin, to your surprise, stole the idea of Judy Hops and Nick Wilde. “Who is going to be the bunny?” Chenle asked, playful. Jaemin smacked his head, acting offended. “Me of course, are you not paying attention?” 
You were out of ideas. And obviously Chenle felt like the world was against him. 
“Baby, we still have time. We’re just starting October.” You said in bed cuddling with him. “Yes, but I want everything to be perfect.” He complains cutely. You smile and kiss his cheek. “It’s going to be perfect. Because we are going to be together.” 
He jokes making a vomit sound. “Cheesy” 
You gasp offended and shoved his shoulder. “You're a child.” He laughs and says sorry while hugging you tight. When you accept his apology, he offers if you want to watch a movie. You nod and he sits up, to search for something on Disney+. 
“So you are a child.” You say mocking him. He shushes you and keeps searching. That’s when you see it. You gasp and start to slap Chenle’s arm. 
“Hey what’s your problem?” He asks angry, but then smiles seeing how excited you are. “I have an idea.” 
Finally it was the day. You were fixing your wig in the bathroom, trying to make it fit right. “Baby are you finished?” Chenle asks behind the door. “Just a minute!” You replied, giving a few more touches to your eyeliner. 
After a few minutes, you finally leave the bathroom, revealing yourself. Chenle sees you and smiles brightly. He fakes like he has been shot and falls on the bed. “Oh, my girlfriend is so pretty. I'm dying.” He says dramatically rolling over the bed. You cross your arms and smirk. “Yeah, yeah. Stop acting. Let me look at you.” He laughs and nods. He got up and spread his arm to give you a better look. You bite your lip and smirk flirty. He looked so hot. You whistle and make a signal with your finger for him to turn around. He sighs and does your command, slowly. The black shirt shaped perfectly his waist and chest. Also the belt and the pants give a better effect to his figure. The black leather gloves made the touch and finished with a flourish, a water gun in his waist. 
“Is that really necessary?” You ask, pointing at his weapon. He looked at you with a frow and protected his water gun with his hand. 
“Don’t take fuffy away.” You couldn’t hide your laughter. You coughed and looked at him funny. “Fuffy?” 
“What? It’s cool.” He responds shyly. You smiled and went closer to give him a kiss on the cheek. He quickly wraps your waist and kisses your lips fervently. 
“Can we get late to the party?” He suggests teasing close to your lips. “Chenle, we are already late.” You whisper smiling watching his reaction to your costume. 
First, seeing you redhead was sending him over the clouds. It matched so well with your beautiful face and skin. Then it was your clothes. That black t-shirt marked your figure perfectly. And those baggy jeans were the ruin for him. Figuring his secret favorite part of your body, your butt. 
“Then more later. This costume is driving me crazy.” He says, fixing his gaze without any shame through your body. You blush and give him a peek on his lips. 
“Impossible.” You answer funny. 
“I thought you were Kim Possible.” He joked. You roll your eyes and separate from him, shoving his chest. 
“Let’s go. I promise we will do whatever you want when we get home.” You whisper with a flirty voice. He laughs and nods, remembering what you said. Promising he would reclaim his prize when he gets home. 
You collected your things to go, when suddenly, looking at your boyfriend, you got an idea. “Baby.” You smile playfully. He looked at you, raising an eyebrow, and crossing his arms. He knew that looked. “Shoot.” 
You come closer to him, taking his water gun. “Do you wanna get revenge?” You suggested, expecting for him to know where you were going. He smiled and gave you a kiss on the lips. “God, I love you.” 
Later you got to the party, and started to search for your objectives. The house was full of people dancing and drinking but that didn’t matter to you. The ones that did, were hanging around the backyard. All with their stolen costumes. “Those sons of bitches.” Chenle roared behind the bushes where you were hiding. “Easy baby, move as one. Remember.” You spoke as you took your water gun out. “Ready?” You ask your partner in crime. He does the same and looks at you with a determined gaze. “Always.” You guys counted till three and jumped from the bushes to attack. Jeno, Jaemin, Mark, Jisung, Haechan and Renjun, were surprised by your sudden appearance, most surprised by your screams of war. Then, they noticed your weapons. “Wait no! No!” Mark shouted before he and all of the boys were wetted by you and your boyfriend. They try to defend themselves, launching their red cups filled with their drinks, but you easily dodged their attacks. 
When Chenle and you ran out of water, the guys were completely soaked. Everyone looked horrible, but Renjun and Jisung were the hardest hit. Since both of them had hair dye all over their faces. “Yah! Do you know how much pink coloring I had to use to get my hair like this?!” Renjun complained with a shout. You laugh out of nervousness, and Chenle does the same but with naughtiness. “I’m sorry! But you deserved it. You are thieves.” You defend yourself.
“I’m not sorry. You guys all are bastards.” Chenle hissed without any regret. All the guys snapped at his insult and went straight to attack him. Lifting him up and launching him in the pool. He screamed like the dolphin he is, but the guys didn’t care. They left him there and said sorry to you on the way for making a scene. You smiled and said that it was okay. You loved how comfortable it was for them to act like a family. 
You approach the pool and grin. He looked at you and raised his hand. “Can you help me please?” He said as it was obvious. 
When you tried to take him out taking his hand, he smiled mischievous. “Chenle no!” You scream before he shoves you inside the pool with him. He just laughed at your pissed reaction, to then pull you in his arms and give you a slow kiss. Romantic and sweet. Your anger disappears and you follow his kiss wrapping your arms around his neck. “Act as one, remember?” He whispered in your mouth smiling. “I hate you.” You only respond before continuing to kiss him.
The guys started to cheer and laugh outside the pool. As an instinct reaction, you and Chenle showed them your middle finger while your lips were still pressing together in a lovely kiss. 
Jisung x Horror Game
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“Baby! Can you lend me your computer?” You asked, playing around with Jisungs gamer chair. Going round and round. He then showed up at the bedroom door with a bowl of cereal, with a confused look on his face. Let’s say you weren’t much into gaming, so the mere fact that you were asking for his computer was weird.
 “For what?” He said with a raspy voice, since he just woke up from the nap you just had. 
You both were tired of your schedules, so you decided to do nothing for Halloween. Just stay in and order take out. When the Thai food finally came, you put on an action movie and lay on the bed. You last no more than ten minutes when you fall asleep, cuddling on Jisungs arms. Two hours later, Jisung wakes you up trying to sneak to the kitchen because he was hungry, again. 
“I didn’t want to wake you up.” He said grinning at the edge of the bed. You still half slept, nodded and said it was okay. He smiled at how cute you looked, trying to cover the light of the room with your arms on your face. Whining like a little girl, like his little girl. He leaned over and kissed your forehead, and said he won't be long. You smiled, sensing your soft boyfriend's lips on your skin, feeling more cozy than ever. When he was gone, you decided to watch tik tok on your phone. The sleepiness was gone, so why not? That's when you saw a very interesting edit. 
So that brings us to the present, where you only wanted to play a horror game, because your childhood crush, Josh Hutcherson, was going to appear in the movie. “Do you have Five Nights at Freddy´s?  You asked, smiling innocently. Jisung again, looked at you weird. Without recognizing the girl he fell in love with. “Do you even know what Five Nights at Freddy´s is?” You gasp, launching him a pillow offended. He turned around quickly to protect his bowl of cereal and laughed. “I was joking! I was joking!” He screams. “You better” You respond. He smiles and goes behind your back. Laying his chin on the top of the chair. “I don't have it, but I can download it if you want.” He said starting to turn on his computer. You react chefull, clapping your hands. He grins at your reaction. “You know it's a scary game right?” He asks you while looking for the game. You knew that… almost. What you only saw was the hottest edit of that american actor and immediately decided it was a good idea to play the game. Hey, a woman had needs. Also, you were bored, and thought it was a good idea to try something new. Besides, if you were too scared, Jisung will be there to comfort you. 
But you forgot an important factor, your boyfriend was a chicken, same as you. So when he had the game ready for you, he immediately kissed your forehead and tried to go to bed and hide from the computer screen. You reached him on the verge by taking his arm and pulled him towards you. “Hey, you're not gonna leave me alone, are you?” He scratches his head nervously and starts to murmur nonsense. “I mean yeah, but no, I mean i'm gonna be here but not really here, I mean, It's not like I'm a coward, you see, I can accompany you, but then I would have to go mid way because I don't have my glasses and my eyes will start to hurt.” He kept giving you different excuses, to not sit beside you while playing the game. You looked at him sweetly. You weren’t angry, never to him. Jisung was defined as having a kind and sweet soul. Especially to you. So the only thought you had now was how cute he looked, talking so nervous. 
“It’s okay Jisung, you don’t have to do it.” You said roaming his hand and caressing it carefully. He sighs relieved and nods. “Thanks baby” He takes your chin with his hand gently and leans down to kiss your lips. You smile following his kiss. His touch was gentle, but eventually, it became more fervent and hotter. “Jisung…” You say between his lips, where his kiss was becoming more rougher. “Just one more.” He whispers before pulling you to your embrace again by a hand around your chin, fingers wrapping your hair. His breathing became heavier and his other hand traveled to your waist caressing it, sweetly. It wasn’t just another kiss. “Jisung- Don’t try to distract me.” You laugh because of his sudden need. He pouts his lips cutely. You swear if you could have a coin for every time this man did something cute, you would be a millionaire. “But I want more kisses.” He says trying to be close to you, pulling your hand towards him. “Nah-ah. No company, no kisses.” You say shoving his hand and turning around in the chair, to face the computer. You start the game with a whiny Jisung behind the chair. “C’mon baby, I want your kisses.” He begs behind the chair, putting his arms around your chest. You try to hold your laugh, biting your lip and trying to focus on the game. “Nop, if you want kisses, you’ll have to wait until I’m done.” You could swear you saw reflected on the screen, a big baby about to make a fuss. You chuckle a little and then focus on the game. You admit, your boyfriend was calming your fear with his performance. You thought it would be over, but little did you know your boyfriend's determined (and needy) mind. 
He quickly turns the chair to him. “Hey, what are you- Hey!” You exclaim before Jisung takes you in his arms, and sits in the chair with you. He taps your tights and smiles. “Turn around.” You laugh while doing his command and turn in his lap, facing the computer. You were left a little high from the desk, but Jisung quickly fixed that by lowering the chair. Now you were on your boyfriend's lap, with his arms around your waist and lips in the crook of your neck. “Jisung…” His response was a groan against your neck. “Keep playing.” He said, minding his own business.” You try to keep your focus, but the mixing of fear of the game and the excitement of your boyfriend's touch was dizzying you like crazy. The game was close to finishing, being 5:00 Am in the morning. What was supposed to be the difficult part of the game. But Jisung’s lips were working intensely on your neck and shoulder, distracting you from it. At one point he discovered your shoulder from your pajama shirt, leaving peck traces all over your skin. You were at the point of giving up. “Baby, please I’m trying to…” You start to say, but then your complaint was interrupted by a sudden move on the screen. “What the fuck was that?” You mumbled, bringing your boyfriend's attention to the screen. 
You two notice the thing that was moving and panic immediately. A character was moving really fast through the camera screens, making stressful sounds of footsteps. “Shit! It 's foxy. The door! The door!” Jisung screamed trying to reach for the computer to help you. You try to move quickly and activate the gates, but you were out of battery in the game. “Shit! No!” You scream before the scare jump of foxy appears on the screen. Both of you jump from the chair, screaming and frightened. Jisung curses and you laugh out of nervousness. You hide your face in his chest, still chuckling because of your reaction. After a while, he starts to laugh with you.
“Oh my god, we are idiots.” You say giggling. He looks down at you and frowns. “We? I would have clearly done it better.” You gasped and shoved his chest. “If you weren’t a chicken, I’d believe you.” You laugh. He choked, acting offended. “Alright, bet.” He provoked. “Alright.” You say, getting up from his lap and pulling another chair to sit beside him. He chuckles, watching you get all competitive. He liked this side of you. Well, all of you. You sit straight and expect him to start the game. “What are you waiting for? Let's go!” He smiles and presses start again. You two played together until far late in the night. Getting scared for every jump scream but also excited from almost winning. But specially, your favorite part was teasing each other, and working together as well. You were the first to fall asleep in the chair. Jisung was going to talk to you, teasing how he bet your record of nights, but then he saw you with your eyes closed. He didn't wait a minute. He turned off the computer and took you, bride style, to the bed. Falling asleep next to you, holding you tight. To scare off the spirits of the night, that might frighten you in your sleep
Happy Halloween 🎃🧡
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