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#todd... that's enough
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“Bruce Wayne is actually a really good father and all his children are just like that” is actually my favorite flavor of batfam
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biancabi · 6 months
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Bruce: *Watching the news* -a group of two adults, four teenagers and a child were seen wreaking havoc and destruction in-
Bruce: *Feeling a headache coming* Please don't say Gotham, please don't say Gotham. Please don't say they are children, please don't say they are my children
News: -Central city authorities have not yet discovered their identities but are working for-
Bruce: *Completely relieved* Not my circus, not my monkeys.
*Batkids appearing at the bottom of the screen*
Tim: Okay, I don't want to scare anyone but there is an 80% chance this thing will explode.
Dick: Considering everything we did today, this actually seems pretty minor to me.
Jason: Only 80%? Did you hear that, NOT TODAY, SATAN!!
Damian: *Talking on the phone before hanging up and turning to Jason* Satan says he's very offended and would never bother dealing with people like you, Todd.
Duke: I have some questions about the monster trucks we sunk.
Steph: You're talking about the monster trucks we sunk in Gotham harbor? or the monster trucks we crashed in Metropolis?
Duke: I don't remember crashing monster trucks in Metropolis.
Tim: Of course not, you were too busy trying to stop the fire you started a few streets down.
Duke: Oh yes, I remember that. My mistake.
Damian: Honestly Thomas, I would expect this elderly behavior from Grayson, not you.
Dick: *Gasp* Elderly behavior?? Lil'D I'm not that old, plus you're supposed to be on my side!!
Jason: Sorry Dickhead, but demon brat is right.
Cass: *Appearing out of nowhere and pointing at the abandoned building behind they* Boom
Steph: What?
*the building explodes*
Cass: 🙂👍
Dick: Oh my god, Bruce is going to kill us. Run, guys, run.
Jason: You heard the man. WITHDRAWAL!!
*The transmission is cut off*
Bruce: ...
Bruce: *In collapse* My circus, my monkeys. My circus, my monkeys.
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p1nkshield · 1 year
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Bruce being just as guilty of introducing Jason to people like he is but a small little guy.
Bruce at gala supporting youth literary comprehension programs: Have you met my son Jason? As stubborn as kids can be I managed to get him to attend.
Beneficiary: oh that’s wonderful! Does your son enjoy literature?
Bruce: oh absolutely! That’s what convinced him to even come! He has so many respectable hobbies for someone his age. Kids these days rarely find value in the classics but not Jason! Honestly he reads more, and more in depth, than I do! He’s a little mechanic too! When I first saw him he was trying to take the tires off my car with a lug wrench that was bigger than him! It was quite a sight and a rather unconventional way to meet your son but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Beneficiary, blinks as they try to process all the proud dad info: …well that’s lovely, we have some activities for the children of the donors so that none of them get too bored!
Bruce: that’s great! I’ll let him know. Jason, can you come here for a moment?
A very tall, wide, and muscular man turns around and raises an eyebrow.
What a coincidence, that dude must also be named Jason.
He walks towards them
Jason: what do you want old man?
What
Bruce: there are activities at that table if you’re bored.
Huh
Jason: thanks for the memo but I’m not exactly at coloring book age anymore remember?
Bruce: I suppose you’re right :(
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headcanon that the smaller batkids steal the bigger ones' hoodies and jackets. and by "bigger ones" I mean literally anyone bigger than them.
jason gets the short end of the stick because dick and all his little siblings take his. tim's the only one bold enough to go for the leather jackets (well, and cass, but they're way too wide in the shoulders for her) but it's not uncommon to find dick or stephanie in a dark red or gray hoodie that smells of motor oil and gunpowder.
damian usually takes dick's hoodies, but they're very oversized on him. on the bright side, there are thumbholes in the sleeves of all dick's hoodies, so he can still use his hands. the thumbholes make them a hot commodity in the winter.
there is a tim-steph-cass jacket pipeline. steph steals tim's hoodies and cass takes them from steph. hence tim stealing jason's leather jackets -- steph won't take them, so he gets to hold on to them until jason realizes and takes them back. sometimes cass will also steal duke's hoodies, but she always returns them clean and neatly folded (unlike how it goes with the rest of the family, in which they are returned only under threat of blackmail or with long rounds of negotiation).
this is an extremely long-standing ring of jacket theft. you cannot leave a hoodie unattended in wayne manor. damian doesn't actually own any hoodies, and cass only owns one, because there's so many other people in the house to "borrow" one from. nowhere is safe. steph once broke into dick's apartment to steal his warm hoodie, the one with the fuzz on the inside.
but it goes the other way sometimes. jason leaves things in the pockets of his leather jackets for tim -- film for his camera, hand sanitizer, half-filled punch cards for local coffee shops with "drink water too, fucker" written on the back. cass will tuck little slips of paper in the cuffed sleeves when she leaves hoodies out. the notes don't say anything, but they have little smiley faces and hearts on them, and steph has taken to doing something similar with corny jokes. dick just straight-up leaves candy in the hoods of his jackets.
it's a game, it's a love language. it's simultaneously annoyance and affection. there's nothing like wearing a hoodie that's too big for you, that smells like your family, to make you feel safe.
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lethologicaee · 4 months
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jason todd posed as saint sebastian request for @bloodyentrails
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neroushalvaus · 5 months
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Okay I am going to use the Somerton situation to talk about something that is very important to me. Following the discussion I have seen former Somerton fans being disappointed in themselves and questioning how they can ever trust another video essayist again. I have also seen some people being smug because to them Somerton was obviously unreliable from the start. As a person who also saw the "red flags" in Somerton, I would like to skip the smugness and talk a bit about what the red flags were to me.
Someone else has probably posted something similar and Hbomberguy's & Todd in the Shadows's videos touched a few of these points, but they didn't focus on them or how to spot these things. I think it is a good thing: I think it would have reinforced the idea that Somerton's fans were to blame for being lied to, and these youtubers didn't want to pin any blame on the fans. Also, some of the things I'm going to talk about were not by any means proof of him being unreliable, they were common tropes I personally associate with people who are bullshitting on internet. Think of it as something like spotting terfs: If you consider following a tumblr user and find out they have at some point posted "males will always be a danger to females no matter what they say", it is very possible that they are not a terf. Maybe they were having a bad day and were just wording their post badly – But you should probably search "trans" from their blog before following them, just to be sure.
So, the tropes in James Somerton's content that I consider red flags:
Lack of sources. This one may seem obvious and Hbomb talked about this in his video, but the lack of sources in his videos was outrageous. Video essays are called essays for a reason, they are not supposed to be just a guy talking about whatever comes to his mind, they should be well researched essays. Obviously video essays should contain one's own thoughts and interpretations and those do not need citations. But James Somerton didn't come out of the womb knowing everything about LGBT history, Disney and film theory, if he actually knew something about all this stuff, he should have learnt it from somewhere. There should be sources he could point to. It is very common that even when a video essayist doesn't tell you where they got all their information, they open their video by saying stuff like "when I prepared for this video I read the book Also sprach Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche and this one thrilling blog post about lesbian cruising in 1960s Sweden". From what I've seen, James does not really do this. From watching his videos you could arrive to the conclusion that James Somerton does not read any books, he just knows everything. There are situations where people don't feel the need to add sources, like when the information is considered common knowledge or when the topic relates heavily to the essayist's actual academic field or profession. This is okay and very understandable, but can sometimes be dangerous, since if the video essayist markets himself as a marketing specialist, people are more likely to take his word for stuff that has to do with marketing, even without sources. It is understandable that in many situations an essayist may think "why should I cite a source? I know this thing!", but doing your research well is partly about checking if the information you are certain of is actually true. Also, as Hbomb pointed out, if you can cite a source, your audience can go learn more about the subject. It's not about anyone doubting you know your stuff, it's about learning. That's why well-respected video essayists usually cite their sources very clearly.
Lack of pictures and screenshots. This is about different kinds of sources again, many things on this list are kind of about sources. An example: When James Somerton made a video about JKR, he mentioned something about Rowling at one time saying that trans students in 30-50Feralhogs (or whatever the wizard school is called) could use magic to present as their gender. If this was any other video essayist, you'd expect a tweet to pop up, or something else confirming Rowling ever said this. Nothing pops up, obviously because Rowling didn't say this, but you can't see anything fishy in that because things rarely pop up in Somerton's videos. He doesn't show you court documents when speaking about a court case, he doesn't show you the comments apparently mad at him for implying the gay anime is gay when he is complaining about people being mad at him. There is a reason people show screenshots and tweets in video essays. When a good video essayist says JK Rowling has tweeted that all people who menstruate should be referred to as women, the video essayist shows the tweet so people know they are not making it up. If there were hoards of annoying bitc-- I mean, angry white women whining about gay sex in HuffPost articles or Somerton's youtube comments, he should have no trouble showing you those. Remember that you should not trust someone just because they show you pictures or screenshots. Pictures can be photoshopped, screenshots can be doctored. Many youtubers are aware that you listen to their videos while cleaning or while walking your dog and don't actually see the screen all the time, and some may take advantage of that by saying something like "and here she threatened to kill me" while showing a text message where someone said "die mad about it". A screenshot alone isn't much but you should demand to see the screenshot.
Passive voice. I am once again bitching about this. Somerton repeatedly says things like "it's been said that" or "it was common knowledge that" or "a legend says that" or "according to most interpretations". He doesn't say who says it, making it very hard to fact check and that seems to be his goal in some cases.
Relying heavily on anecdotes. Writing a dense, analytical video about film theory or history can be exhausting and you may want to pepper in little fun facts. However Somerton seemed to rely on these heavily; he can't just talk about how he has totally bought every lie told by The Pink Swastika, he also needs to tell a cute little anecdote about SS men forcing sexual favours out of men. He can't just tell a story about a court case, he needs to add in ridiculous stuff about the jury booing. This is what I mean by not all the things on this list being necessarily proof of someone being unreliable. Many people use anecdotes and little stories in their storytelling, it makes the videos flow better and it's hard to decide which anecdotes are valid and which are not. A source obviously makes an anecdote a bit more believable, but here are some things that instantly make me fact check an anecdote:
It's a bit too convenient, poetic or ironic. Sometimes real life is weirder than fiction but if an anecdote is "perfect" and has an amazing punchline and you could write twelve poems about it, there is a possibility it was invented by pop science books.
It assumes your political enemies are stupid. Dunking on conservatives, MRAs and transphobes is always fun and after you've seen a lot of this kind of content it's easy to believe anything about these people. You must resist the impulse to believe everything that may make your opponents look stupid.
The person telling the anecdote implies it is an example of a larger, systemic problem. You know what's worse than taking a random happenstance from human history or internet and basing an entire political theory on it? The said random happenstance being made up. You should in general be wary of people telling one story and explaining why it's an example of everything that's wrong in the world. We live in a huge world. You can always find a white woman who loves cute gays but hates the idea of Nick Heartstopper and Charlie Heartstopper getting nasty but that doesn't mean it's an indicator of a larger issue.
Simplifying complex issues. We all know that "only the boring gays survived the AIDS crisis, and that's why gays started to only care about marriage equality and military" is a horrible, insensitive thing to say, but you also have to think about it for like two seconds to realize that it can't be correct. It kind of reminds me of the "roe v wade caused the crime drop of 1990s" claim in Freakonomics. It sounds logical and simple, like a basic math calculation. Societal issues rarely are like that, though. You should never believe anyone who tells you about a huge societal shift and says it happened because of one thing and one thing only.
These were some of the things I noticed in Somerton's content that caused me to distrust him. I hope these were helpful to you and feel free to add your own "red flags" if you feel like it!
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catmanbowser · 1 year
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Son boy
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breadandblankets · 2 months
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Duke, looking up from his homework: hey are we the tank builds?
Jason: I mean you get hit enough to be one sure
Duke: shut the fuck up, i mean like we can't die, i can heal freaky fast, we wear more armor than like everyone-
Jason: luke tho
Duke: okay luke is also kinda a tank build
Jason: yeah, now what's a tank build
Duke: have you played any videogame ever?
Jason: does sitting in the arcade pretending that you're playing the demo count?
Duke: g-d your life is so sad, what about dnd?
Jason: my death is going about the same way, what is a dnd
Duke: you know, you get a bunch of friends-
Jason: yeah i'm going to stop you there
Duke: jesus christ
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flamingpudding · 5 months
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Message to the past
Was one nice family dinner in the Wayne Family really possible? Jason was starting to think it wasn't. The evening started out so well, for once he did not have any sort of beef with Bruce for the moment. He got to spend time with Alfred preparing the dinner. Neither Demon Brat nor Pretender were at each other's throats because of a case yet and there was no argument about to happen with Dickie either and he didn't feel like avoiding Bruce. Did he mention he didn't feel like leaving the Manor at the first sight of his old man?
Everything felt like it was gearing up to be a nice and well deserved family dinner with all his siblings being in one space for once.
That was until a Lazarus Green portal opened and a fucking silver green tin can smack dab hit him square in the face. Causing him to fall backwards in his chair and hitting his head painfully on the floor. Why didn't they have carpet in the dinner room again? Oh right, someone -one of his siblings- got mud all over it after patrol and Alfred decided the dinner room didn't need it anymore.
Once the first shock of what had just happened passed. They got to inspect the tin can and found a letter inside it.
Dear future Dad,
Gramps Clockwork spoilered that there is a mess up in the timeline because of the speedsters and I can fix it like this, which is why I am writing this. Please pick me up in the attached location marked on the map. My current self is in need of saving and I honestly would like to spare myself at least a little of the trauma that's about to happen.
Also please bring some explosives. You always regretted not blowing up a corupted govermental facility, so here is your chance of doing so! Be proud, though. I blew up a bunch of them in the future, with supervision, of course, from my uncles and aunts, so great grandpa wouldn't worry.
Please pick me up? Thanks if you do!
Your future adopted son.
PS: please ignore any complains my current self might have. I was in server need of a real parental figure and as you like to say as stubborn as grandpa.
PSS: also please stop antagonizing grandpa about my adoption. It's bad enough that you had to fight him over it in the first place.
PSSS: please bring great grandpa's cookies, I beg you please! I swear I will do all my schoolwork and be a straight A student if you do!
The girls of the family started to pout while the boys exchanged glances. Jason narrowed his eyes at his brothers. There was a silent argument happening and Bruce was watching them all also.
But if there was one thing Jason was sure about. It was that the tin can smacked him in the face. Which meant the letter was his and the time shenanigans arson kid with sass was going to be his kid. His brothers AND Bruce can fight him over that.
Like the kid has said in his letter.
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weewoow-20706030 · 1 year
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Bruce is the only member of the batfam that has no tolerance for spice. Dick grew up in a travelling circus, he has had food from all over the world. Jason grew up on the street, he ate what he could get. Tim's parents went all around the world, and had food and recipes from all around the world, whenever they were home Janet would make exotic meals. Damian grew up with Talia, he grew up on middle eastern food. But Bruce? He grew up on Alfred's British ass cooking, he thinks pepper has 'a little kick'.
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panakina · 2 months
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A lot of discussion lately about whether or not jason fans hallucinated a character who cares about his community (the ‘protects women and kids’ thing), but i think that’s doing us a disservice and frankly letting DC off the hook.
Its not unreasonable to dislike that DC consistently makes the kid with the poorest background the most violent and selfish. (And the second poorest, Steph, the most incompetent).
Its not wild to extrapolate that someone who was first characterised as being Too Upset About Rape Victims and later characterised as prepared to take action where others won’t, could be getting involved in that kind of work.
It’s not crazy fans being blind to canon when we don’t want the sole voice of reason on the subject of community support to be the benevolent billionaire.
It’s not delusional behaviour to make fanworks where the guy heavily implied to be a child victim of sexual assault takes on responsibility for other victims.
Is that what DC gave us? No, they didn’t bother to address it.
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ch3rrygummy · 4 days
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dick got him a shirt
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violet-catsarelife · 1 year
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Inspired by DC's new horror story design.
Because I kiiiinda don't vibe with trauma being made into something hideous and terrifying. It's one thing for Jason to take those symbols of trauma for himself, and another thing for other people to look and go "Bad Wrong Scary"
tl;dr GIVE HIM A HUG INSTEAD
(Of course, I have no idea how the actual story would go lol. This is based on that one(1) pic of character design alone.)
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ghost-bxrd · 4 months
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Prompt:
When Jason wakes up in the Pit and finds out about what happened while he was essentially brain dead it’s not Bruce his ire falls upon, but Dick.
Dick, who never accepted him and had to be coerced into spending any amount of time with him but is now regularly seen patrolling with the Replacement. Dick, who had an open ear for everyone but Jason. Dick, who never put in any kind of effort with Jason but has an entire Wikipedia article dedicated to his wholesome bond with the Drake heir.
Dick, who couldn’t even be bothered to attend his funeral but never missed a single of the Replacement’s photography exhibitions.
So when Jason first dons the helmet and begins his stakeout to start planning his big debut he doesn’t only do it in Gotham, he branches out to Blüdhaven.
But when he first get to Blüd it’s to the tail end of Blockbuster having been murdered.
And when he finds Nightwing it’s to the sight of a woman stalking towards where the vigilante is sprawled on a deserted rooftop, unresponsive.
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