#tokophobia is the fear of pregnancy if anyone was wondering

[sniffanimal]

In a very pregnancy-heavy plot arc on LOST and like. Really has me wondering if I should have ever gone to therapy for my tokophobia because i just sorta ignored it forever and the only reason it's any better than it was when I was younger is I'm on meds. But that never addressed the fact that I have the fear in the first place. The entire idea of someone seeking a fertility doctor because they want to be pregnant is insane to me. I would sooner [I redacted the rest of this sentence bc it was needlessly violent and graphic so uhhh yeah]. Like I physically cannot understand how there's people out there who are SAD they can't conceive. And yanno maybe one of you who is reading this is sad about that for themselves and I'm empathetic to the idea of being frustrated your body doesn't do what you want it to do but I just cannot put myself remotely near the mindset of someone who wants biological children and wants to be the one to carry them. The movie Baby Mama (2008) is a horror movie to me.

And I've done the soul searching and this isn't wholly about dysphoria, or even myself. I used to be dragged to baby showers and I would hide in the bathroom as much as I physically could because the setting was revolting and anxiety inducing. I was in an elevator with a pregnant woman one time and I was so terrified the elevator would stall and I'd have to be in there any longer with her that I almost passed out. This is like a real and extreme phobia that I never tell anyone about and have never addressed in therapy bc it wasn't like, hindering my daily life that much. But watching TV with a lot of pregnancies getting screen time is making me consider therapy again.

I almost thought about rewatching sense8 a few months ago but the idea of seeing a split screen shot of 8 crowning childbirths genuinely spoils the whole show for me because it's all I'm thinking about and I can't enjoy anything else. Not even the lesbian sex

#tokophobia / like discussing my phobia #but if me talking about my triggers triggers you then steer clear ig #badger rants

[hypnomicimagines]

This isn't a request, but I have a question. Does tokophobia (fear of/aversion to pregnancy) fall under your 'triggering topics' rule, or is it fair game? Don't worry about a quick response, I was just wondering. Thanks in advance

It's fair game! Sorry, this got buried under a lot of messages. My triggering topics just tend to be anything with mental illness which is less that it's triggering and more that, since I don't have all kinds of experience with different illnesses and i don't want anyone to think they'd be treated differently by these men bc of that, i prefer not doing them.

[somnolent-scout]

don’t know anything about what’s happening with the mpreg thing but if people don’t like it that’s their problem

Yeah, that's what I keep saying. If people are bothered by my content, then they can block me. That's perfectly understandable. I just wasn't sure why 12 artists suddenly blocked me out of nowhere.

Also, I would like to mention that I struggle with tokophobia. So the Charlotte & James AU started out as a coping mechanism and challenge my therapist suggested I should do. I started having more ideas for James. So that made We'll Keep You Safe a lot more interesting. Then I started coming up with ideas for a "little sister concept". I realized that I had way more ideas for an mpreg kind of origin story for Charlotte instead of whatever my other option was. I developed the whole respawn glitch concept, how Jeremy could carry Charlotte to full term, and more as I continued to face more fears caused by my tokophobia and learned to cope with things. That's why the Charlotte & James AU is do important to me. It helps me cope with one of my greatest fears.

So if others are struggling with tokophobia or they just generally feel uncomfortable with the concept of a cisgender man slowly changing his body to be able to grow his daughter, please block me. Your mental health is far more important than my special interests.

#tokophobia #tokophobia is the fear of pregnancy if anyone was wondering #charlotte & james #tw mpreg

[milkteahood]

Ok, all these dad Heisenberg is nice and all but I wonder how he would react and handle with a s/o who has tokophobia (aka pathological fear of pregnancy) or just the mere mention or thought of having a baby and the whole process of the pregnancy gives her panic attacks. She explains that it's not because of him or the fact that she hates children, it's just that she believes that she wouldn't be a good mother and would be too much for her both physically and mentally. And whenever someone else tries to change her mind she immediately snaps and tells them that she will never have children and she won't change her mind on that. After all we all saw what motherhood can turn you into with Mother Miranda.

Thank you! Sorry if it's a bit long 😅

Karl would be very supportive of her! I don’t think Karl is someone that would try to change her mind. Sure, he’s gonna ask questions about her fear, but more out of curiosity than anything else. Since he isn’t the one getting pregnant, he wouldn’t actually speak on it.

And even if she did hate children, I don’t think that would bother Karl. I mean, he does human experiments and was really close to using a baby as a weapon. Went as far as to excitedly propose that to Ethan. If it’s his child, then that’s a completely different story. But if it’s just a random one, I don’t think he’d care much.

If she starts overthinking pregnancy and that leads to a panic attack, then Karl would stay with her through it. He’d hold her close and remind her to breathe. I feel like Karl would want to help her cure this fear, if possible. Not because he’d want her to have a kid, but because he wouldn’t be able to stand seeing her like that.

Now, at her saying she wouldn’t be a good mother, he’d completely disagree. He thinks she’s perfect in every possible way and can’t comprehend the fact that she thinks she might not be good at something. He wouldn’t comment on her saying it would be too draining mentally and physically tho. He doesn’t know what exactly is going on in her head, so he wouldn’t want to invalidate her feelings.

If someone tries to convince her to have children and to just get over herself, Karl might snap before she does. He would totally defend her and the person who took her fear lightly better start praying. He will destroy anyone and anything that makes her uncomfortable.

#milkteas asks #heisenberg asks #resident evil 8 #resident evil village #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg headcanons #re8 karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg x reader

[realcube]

Hey!! I hope you’re having a wonderful day so far, I know you just got done with an iida fic and are probably tired of writing for our speedy boi, but if possible could I request iida finding out his s/o doesn’t want to have children + comfort for not wanting to be a parent? I have severe tokophobia and most of the fics I’ve seen portray him being very child centered, it’s completely okay if you’re uncomfortable writing that or are tired of writing for him though, thank you in advance!! 🧡💛🧡

(a/n) ➵ now that i think abt it, you’re quite right :o fics usually portray him to be very interested in having kids bc he’s shown to be family orientated so i have no issue with writing something like this. also i don’t think i’ll get tired of writing him for a while since he kinda reminds me of myself when i was fifteen (and i say that as if it was centuries ago lmao) 

trigger warnings ➵ mentions of pregnancy, aged up! iida (all sfw tho), mentions of childbirth, f!reader &angst to comfort

if only you had said some earlier, you sighed, if you had just been honest, you probably wouldn’t be paralysed in fear at the end of your bed right now

both of you had the day off today but tenya was out running errands. one of the items on his itinerary was to go to the supermarket and buy bread and vegetables, that’s all the business he had in regards to shopping. so the last thing you expected was to open your phone to reveal a new message for your husband; a picture of a navy baby romper with ‘fast’ printed on the front which looked like it had been taken in the infant clothing isle of the shop. along with a caption that made you shudder, ‘perhaps? for ours?’

honestly, you wanted more than anything than to reply with a solid ‘no.’  but you felt like you owed him an explanation so instead you hesitantly typed out, ‘we’ll talk about this when you’re back.’ which wasn’t exactly the response tenya was expecting to an innocent photo of a cute article of baby clothes, but he understood the implications and why you might want to talk about it further.

you felt guilty for some reason, as if you had been dishonest or had robbed your husband of a family life, despite the fact that before you got married, you never promised children to anyone. you thought you had made it abundantly clear that you were on the fence about the whole thing so why did you feel so bad about it now? perhaps it was just the nerves; it’s a big decision after all, so you were bound to feel guilty about it either way. 

“hello? are you alright? do you still want to talk?” tenya waved his hand in front of your eyes to snap you out of your thoughts. your glassy gaze met his, everything about his natural glow oozed reassurance; you still felt nervous but slightly less disheartened. 

you breathed out sharply through your nose, delivering the mellow introduction you had prepared beforehand to ease in the topic of kids, “on a scale of one to ten — ten being very much and one being not at all — how much do you want children?”

“um, five.” tenya hummed, not bothering to give a second thought to your inquiry as he replied concerningly quick. “how about you?”

“one.” you blurted out, not sparing a second because quite frankly, you wanted this conversation to be over as soon as possible, “actually, negative one.”

he couldn’t help but chuckle, gently taking your hand in his, “i’m guessing that is what you wanted to talk about?”

“yeah.” you muttered, unable to find the courage to look him in the eyes, hence your gaze darted across the room to find something besides him to focus on. tenya knew you too well for his own good; today you tried to be as monotone and reserved as possible yet he still managed to read you like an open book.

forcing down the lump in your throat, you continued, “i don’t want to have kids, ever. i just thought i should remind you.” the reason behind your word choice of ‘remind’ was that before you both got married, you had discussed the idea of having children and at the time you claimed to be natural towards the idea but you still emphasised the fact that in the future you might be completely opposed. 

the first time you told him, he responded with his usual bright grin, pulling you into his embrace and announcing “so be it, as long as i have you.” and that warm scene replayed in your mind as he did almost the exact same thing once again. except this time, his hand remained intertwined with yours and he added, “moving forward, i won’t ask again.” 

he was aware that his photo earlier may have come across as pushy but that truly wasn’t his intention and he hoped that the many kisses he planted upon your head would show that, “children or not, so long as i’m with you, i can die happy.”

his eyes widened immediately after he spoke, followed by his hand retracting from your waist to rub the back of his neck, “i may sound like a sap but it’s true. i adore you.”

#iida imagine #bnha iida #iida tenya #iida fluff #tenya fluff #tenya x you #tenya iida imagine #tenya lida #tenya x y/n #tenya x reader #👾fluff

[curtashiism]

Some reflections on autism, femininity, and my nonbinary identity

So... I grew up in a conservative city. (Let’s just say not all parts of Washington state are as lovely as Seattle.) My parents were, and still are, remarkably progressive for their generation- they never had an objection to same-sex marriage- but it was very much a place where “gay” was an insult, something to be mocked, not a valid identity.

I was lucky, beyond words, that when I came out as a lesbian, my family, at least, accepted it without question. There was some surprise, and from my mom there were a lot of well-meaning but innocently offensive questions and comments, but they never wavered in their support. I got them both “proud dad/proud mom” buttons from Pride last year and they were THRILLED to have them.

It seemed really clear cut back then. I was a lesbian. And since the lesbian community is so open to women who aren’t really feminine, I didn’t feel the need to doubt anything.

But the doubts were there, and had been since I was little. I was a “tomboy” as a kid, not of the “plays sports” variety but of the “hates anything girls stereotypically do” kind. I hated dresses and skirts, and threw a fit when my mom would make me wear them for special occasions. You could forget about makeup. The only feminine trait I kept by choice is my long hair (but obviously that’s a non-exclusively feminine trait since many men keep long hair too.) My mom asked me once, one of her innocently insensitive comments, “well, if you’re a lesbian, and you don’t do anything girly, what makes you a woman? Is it your hair?” and I told her no. I didn’t have an answer for what did besides “that’s what I am.” Because gender identity is more than physical characteristics, after all, and she is still wrong that you have to be “girly” or have something that makes you so to be a “real” woman.

But, I really only ever answered “woman” to the gender question because it was the default. I knew I wasn’t a transgender male, and so therefore, by the thinking instilled in me growing up, I had to be a woman. But it never felt exactly right. Sure, it didn’t feel WRONG, but it didn’t feel right. I never felt like other, cis women do, you know? Cis women LOVE being women. I didn’t. I was just like... “oh, whatever. Sure, I guess, yeah, let’s go with that.” I hate how large my breasts are, I hate my period, and when I think about sex, the thought of being penetrated repulses me. (Which is one part of why I realized the “lesbian” label applies to me... except [TMI alert] I don’t like the thought of women putting things inside me, either.) Further, I have tokophobia (the fear of pregnancy, as well as the fear of becoming pregnant) and used to get very upset when my mom would tell me I’d be a great mom, or “when you’re a mom you’ll (x)” because I hated how the very idea of pregnancy made me feel.

And, I mean, I know all those things don’t have to mean I’m not a woman. Lots of cis women feel the same things I listed. I’m not saying those are why, those are just little ways I felt different from others that always had me wondering. But even then, I still thought it was a combination of me being a lesbian and me being autistic. Cause, lots of autistic girls are also not into “girly” things. We tend to have sensitive skin, which makes things like fancy clothes or makeup or jewelry difficult if not unbearable. (Again, you can be girly without liking any of those things, I’m just listing some of the easier to explain examples here for the sake of brevity.)

So, those explanations kind of helped me make an identity for myself. I was a woman, because I wasn’t a man. And I may not have been really “girly”, but lots of others like me weren’t either. I was just another lesbian woman.

But then recently I saw this Tweet going around about pronouns, and each person would retweet it with a list of pronouns and their thoughts on being called each. (I think it was she/her, they/them, he/him, xe/xir, it, and some other neopronouns.) And I thought about how I would feel in each situation. My appearance is still really feminine, and I have a very high-pitched voice, so there is a 0% chance I would ever be called he/his “in the wild”. So, this was the first time I thought about being called anything but she/her.

She/her- well, that’s what I already am. Yeah, sure, go for it, I thought, and then went down the rest of the list.

They/them- Nah. I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel right at all.

Xe/xir- God please no.

It- If anyone ever calls me this I will punch them repeatedly.

Other neopronouns- No, this really doesn’t work for me.

Then I thought about he/his.

You know that noise you make in your head when someone types “!!!!!” ? 

That’s how I felt.

It just... it felt so AMAZING!!!

So then I had to do some thinking. Maybe I was just a much more butch lesbian than I thought? I always did act like “one of the boys” with my friend groups in school.

But that didn’t seem right either. Because the more masculine terms I imagined people using to and about me, the happier I felt. Then over the next few days, some close friends of mine who I requested to do so started calling me “bro” and other masculine things as a bit of an experiment for me, and it just... it felt really damn nice.

Feminine language didn’t, and doesn’t still, make me feel bad or dysphoric or anything. If we put my feelings on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “I’m about to cry” and 10 being “I’M SO HAPPY!”, having feminine language used for me is like a 6. It’s a “yeah, okay” sort of thing. But masculine? That’s a solid 10. I just smile every time I see it.

But as good as it felt, that created a bit of a problem for me. Because it felt a little too good to be a matter of being butch. So I was forced to engage in that dreaded activity known as “introspection”.

While I was trying to figure out what this all meant, I started looking at stuff people had written about being nonbinary. A lot of it made sense, really. Especially when people talked about subtle forms of dysphoria. Not all of it is hating your body, they explained. It definitely is a thing that happens to some people, but it takes lot of other forms... including stuff like what I listed above.

Feeling persistently different. Or even just feeling that it would be cool to have body parts change, even if you don’t want it enough to actually go out and change it. Cis people, they explained, would be horrified at the thoughts of changing anything. “It would be kinda cool if this was different” is still a form of dysphoria, still a decidedly NOT cis thing.

I know I’m not a trans man because I don’t want a lot of masculine features, like a deep voice or body hair, but I don’t enjoy a lot of my more feminine features either. So... nonbinary, because I’m neither, and I don’t WANT to be either male or female.

I’m still not sure what this all means for me, if it means making any significant changes or not, since this is all still pretty new for me. The only things I really know right now are that she/her or he/him pronouns are both fine, but I don’t like they/them, and I’m still going by Lexi online because I really don’t mind it at all; like I mentioned, feminine things don’t give me dysphoria or anything. I guess I could start going by Alex like I do IRL, but I don’t feel the need to.

And I also know that I’m only ever going to be out online, never in real life. I have transphobic siblings- even if they can understand me being a lesbian, trans people are a bridge too far for two of the three of them. One of them makes “attack helicopter” jokes and the other is outright a TERF. The other is open but admits to not knowing much about trans identities (which is fine!). I don’t feel like trying to explain to them what my nonbinary identity means when I’m still trying to figure out what my identity means myself.

I don’t really know why I made this post, really, since it only elaborates on what i said when I came out as nonbinary last week. I guess I just wanted to be open and honest with y’all since you’ve been so kind and supportive, so I wanted to let you know how I feel.

So, that’s that. Thanks for reading and listening and accepting, all. :)

#nonbinary

[kiddingadulting-blog]

Tokophobia

There are so many reasons why I don't want to have kids - they are expensive, troublesome, exhausting, bad for the environment and they wreck your body and your entire identity (I wonder why this must happen just a couple of years after I begin to like myself because it wasn't easy for me to like myself).

I have been telling myself (and everyone who would listen) that becoming pregnant means I cannot boulder -- and I really like bouldering. Yet, i think a truer reason is that having kids will change my lifestyle and necessarily deprive me of my freedom and comfort. I am not sure how ready I am to give that up. I'm not scared of being called selfish. A good degree of selfishness is important for self-preservation/ self-love and that is essential for my mental health.

*

That said, pregnancy is short compared to caring for the kid(s) for his/her/ their entire life/lives.

If I'm honest, the main reason why I hesitate to have kids is because I'm terrified of having kids. And anyone who feels that having kids will not be an immense challenge should not be a parent (because they haven't thought properly about being a parent). I have been avoiding conversations with people who tell me stupid things like 'oh once you hold your own baby everything will be different'/ 'you never know, you might actually enjoy parenting' because that's not always true. And if I wait until I experience holding my own child to realise that it is not true, it will be too fucking late.

So what am I actually scared of? The pain is a consideration but it's the least of my concerns in the larger scheme of things. I am scared that:

A. My child has special needs and I cannot provide for them / cannot love them (I have all kinds of students - some lovely ones make me desire a child, some make me feel like cutting my tubes on the spot)

B. My child recognises my reluctance and anxiety as I parent them --and grows up anxious/ depressed/ gets diagnosed with a million mental health issues (making me feel helpless and guilty)

C. My child dies (naturally or through suicide, I will not know how to process the guilt)

D. My child is miserable. He or she hates life and hopes to die every day.

E. My child turns out to become a sociopath or rapist or paedophile or abuser (a curse to society)

These are fears that cause me a significant amount of worry every day. I sleep so much but I wake up feeling worried, unrested and restless. And every so often, I shudder thinking of how inadequate I am.

*

It's lucky that I believe in God because I don't think I can parent without God's help and grace (even if the child is perfectly healthy and happy and normal).

I talked to Father Jude about my worries and I still couldn't bring myself to feel convinced that having a kid is a good idea. I am open to life only because of the promise I made to God and the church on my wedding day. 

When my understanding fails, when my brain and heart screams no, my soul will still choose to obey and say "let Your will be done".

*

[stripesquadsideblog]

Stripe Squad Phobias

So the power went out at my house

Just my house.

For like 2 hours.

I was just sitting in the dark and the cold with 1 candle and a scowl on my face not having a séance no matter what my facebook page says. 

So that got me thinking what are the stripe squads Phobias?

Check below for a part two where I do phobias for the akatsuki members(eventually)

For obvious reasons I’m going to try and tag this but if I miss something let me know  

Hassaku –Nyctophobia, fear of the dark

Hassaku doesn’t like the dark. I know that’s probably a fairly common one and probably a little clichéd. He's a very heavy sleeper but when he was a child he used to suffer from sleep paralysis and night terrors. He's grown out of it now but he still prefers to sleep with his curtains open to let in light from the moon or street lamps.

 Ichirota – Molysmophobia fear of dirt and germs

A fairly obvious one for him since I mentioned how much of a germophobe he was in my head canons for him. Ichirota doesn’t have ocd, there are no compulsions compelling him to have things clean per say. He also doesn’t obsess about it, he only begins to feel fear and anxiety if he's presented with a messy or dirty situation, rather than thinking about it all the time.

Ichirota is totally fine with being in any of the stripe squad’s personal space but as soon as someone has the sniffles he's out the door like a bat out of hell.

Buntan – Tokophobia fear of pregnancy

Buntan is disgusted by the thought of being pregnant. If her time of the month is even 1 day late you will probably find her trash full of negative pregnancy tests. She avoids children like the plague and can usually be found visibly flinching if she hears a screaming baby.

Everything about pregnancy and children scares her: the pain, having a thing growing in you, the responsibility over another little life. Not to mention the horrible memories of her own childhood that this all brings up.

Buntan wouldn’t be a terrible mother, she’d at least be better than her own mom but not by much.

Hebiichigo – Emetaphobia- fear of vomiting

Hebiichigo had stomach flu when she was a child and now as an adult suffers from migraines leading her to feel nauseous whenever she has one. The combination of these two things has lead her to become afraid of even thought of being sick. She panics and freezes if she feels even a little unwell and is totally petrified of the thought of getting food poisioning.In an attempt to help this she is an incredibly picky eater , only having a small range of things she feels safe and comfortable eating.

If she’s feeling brave she may eat something of someone else’s, that why she can be sure that if they don’t get sick she won’t either. 

Kyoho- Cynophobia  fear of dogs

Kyoho isn’t afraid of dogs in the traditional sense. He IS afraid of being bitten because he was pretty small when he was a kid (puberty hit him like a tonne of bricks) but he's more afraid of hurting THEM because of his size. Not a deep seeded fear like some of the others, there’s not a lot that can scare Kyoho to be honest.

Kagura and shizuma fear of losing control

Kagura and shizuma both have the same fear but in differing ways. Kagura fears losing control of himself. Shizuma fears losing control of everything around him.

For kagura he is afraid he will hurt the people around him. It’s a sort of ptsd for him in a sense since he did nearly hurt someone in the past. He knows Yaguras reputation (but not the whole genjutsu story ) so he's always been afraid to turn out like him. I think if he knew the truth his fears would lessen a little but not by much. He knows he's strong and that kind of power with his personality is always going to cause worry for him.

Having constant reassurance from people like chojuro and mei is doing wonders for him but at the end of the day he’ll always be a bit cautious.

Shizuma is nearly the opposite. Where kagura is content to go with the flow and let others make decisions ( thus lessening the pressure on him to get it right) Shizuma needs to have everything just so, exactly and precisely right by his standards. He doesn’t have ocd, I should stress.  He's not anxious and neurotic about things. But when shit hits the fan he gets violent and angry really easily , it’s his way of coping ( so rather than get anxious he gets mad. Will probably still wind up in tears if you push him hard enough)

Most of this I think stems from the fact he never had anyone praise him as a child. Nothing was ever good enough for his parents and now he seems to have gotten it into his head that he can make things “right” (read as: his way) if he maintains enough control over things.

Obviously that isn’t the way things really work, things are always going to be out of your control but Try telling that to shizuma.

#Nyctophobia #Molysmophobia #Tokophobia #stripe squad headcanons #stripe squad #headcanons #Caxy had a thought #phobia #phobias #naruto #boruto #Emetaphobia #emetaphobia // #Cynophobia #shizuma #shizuma hoshigaki #kagura karatachi #buntan kurosuki #hassaku #ichirota #hebiichigo #kyoho