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Bucky

She was walking down the pavement contemplating what her next step would be, if she’d even dares to really go this far. Her mind races in a pace possible faster than she’d ever imagine to get, like a train, even unbeknownst to her. What does this all mean? Shouldn’t the pain be long forgotten?

The mind of one takes you to places that no one would like to admit sometimes. Events from a lifetime long ago of hers flashing in front of her eyes. Rarely something, such as these moments, catch up again but the emotions that come with it, will always haunt her mind. Too much suffering to remember…

So much is happening at once and the thought of falling back into the old pattern just makes her too anxious. Too long has she fought her demons of the past and in her head to let it all come crashing back down on her. Heart beats fast to provide the panicking brain to function even though every cell in her body want to shut down.

Noises that were shut out come slowly back to her ears, as if her body was telling her to listen to something. Breath in, ring -ring, breath out. In between breaths she realizes something is vibrating and making loud sounds. Hastily she reaches for her phone and answers the call without bothering to look whom it might be. The voice reaches though her speaker on the phone but fights its way to her brain only dull, like she feels at the moment.

Trying to understand what the other person is saying to her makes it all the harder to comprehend what she is felling. ‘… Sorry to just call you but feel like you should know’, too many noises around her that possibly distract her from fully hearing what’s being told through the phone. Abruptly stopping in the middle of the way in hopes to understand better, ‘Bucky is dead.’

Breath tangled up somewhere in between her lungs and throat refusing to get anywhere else. ‘What did you just say?’, she knows the answer to her question but she couldn’t hold back the words slipping past her parted lips. Only a very quiet buzzing is heard on the line which indicates her that no one hung up. ‘I- I’m sorry to just drop that out of the blue… I- ah didn’t know when and how the best time would have been but I figured there is no such thing as getting the right moment.’

Opening the front door of the flat she shares with her family feels awfully heavy around this time, since when is this door so hard to open? One foot after the other, is the only way she keeps herself going but distantly she realizes that she’s arrived at the door to her room. What now, what’s supposed to happen now? Logically seen she knows that she has to open the door to her room but, is she really in the right state of mind. Limbs dangling besides her felling as if they have an own mind and refuse to move an inch.

Is she going to stand there for however long? Maybe. Or maybe not. Mind not made up yet the white wooden door stretches out in front of her as if she’s getting smaller by the second or is the door just getting larger? Ready to face the loneliness that awaits her past this doorframe? Maybe.

In a blur the day passes by and she is faced with the extreme task to break it down to her parents. Phone is on silent for hours now, she knows that people will be worried but she can’t be bothered a bit about it. What does it matter anyway, no one knows what she is going through and even if she tells her friends they will never understand. Slowly she’s getting up from her bed in which, she’s been sitting in for what feels like eternity. Her stiff limbs are waking up again and there is nothing else she more than desperately wants to do then run away.

Build up tension and energy flowing through her and suddenly she can’t stop pacing around. Lungs expands and widen themselves in her ribcage, she can do this, doesn’t know how but she has to.

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Violent Reunions - Alfie Solomons x Reader


A/N: I loved this request! I’m always a sucker for a gangmember!reader hehe. Also, it’s Alfie so… duh. The request didn’t imply that the reader got hurt, but it makes the lie of her being dead more believable.

Taglist: @sweetiekokkiri @imagine-richards @hxnky-cat


*****


“Was the smell always this bad?” you muttered to yourself, shaking your head.


You limped onward with your custom cane, boot scuffing the muddy gravel with every lopsided step. Your leg still smarted from the attack, but you were mostly used to it now. Recovering on a calm American farm had helped significantly, but the limp and the ache always remained. It was a small price to pay for staying alive. When everything went south, your older brother Tommy had sent you away to recover in hiding. You had been under strict rule to remain dead to the rest of the gang and to England, but not anymore. It was time to come home. It was time to be resurrected.


One more block to go, and you’d be in your old stomping grounds. Thomas had made contact and said to meet in one of the many Shelby owned clubs in London. Your whole family would be there and the few allies the gang had left. You couldn’t be sure if Alfie would still be on that list, but you hoped like hell he would be there.


You’d be lying to yourself if you said you hadn’t thought about him since leaving. You had a friends-with-benefits relationship with Alfie, and while the sex had been great you had definitely grown strong feelings for him. Hoping he would reciprocate but fearing he wouldn’t feel the same, you had locked that knowledge up and buried it in your chest. Being alone in the States had changed your mind about keeping that hidden. But all of that depended on many different factors. Was he in good health? Was he on good terms with the rest of your family? Had he moved away from England? There was so much to catch up on that you almost felt like giving up before you began.


But, no. You were a Shelby. You did the tough thing, even if you didn’t want to.


“Name.” an unfamiliar guard at the entrance demanded. You figured he was previously staffed here, and that your family had just taken him as well.


“Y/N Shelby.” you answered, tilting your chin up. It was the first time you’d said your real name in over two years.


“Yeah, right. Move along.” he dismissed you instantly.


“Move aside or I’ll cut you where you stand.” you snapped impatiently, free fingers twitching. You were already preparing to snatch the cap off your head with the hand not using the cane.


“You won’t.”


You swung the cap fiercely at his face, leaving a satisfactory cut across his cheek. You snarled as you shoved past him, “Fucking won’t I?!”


Immediately, the sound of overlapping conversations and music spilling out of the ballroom threatened to overwhelm you. You still weren’t used to the city after living in the countryside. You felt exposed and vulnerable, especially with your limp. It made you a fraction slower, but you had worked hard to make up for it. Besides, you permanently had a weapon in hand now. You had to remind yourself that you were ready to come back. It was time. You had believed so, and so had Tommy.


You pressed on and into the dreaded ballroom, your cane sounding extra loud on the polished flooring.


“Hey! You have to leave! This is a closed event.” the guard ran in after you, a hand pressed over the bloody mess of his cheek.


His shouting got the attention of some of the nearer guests, and immediately their conversations died down as the scene unfolded. You noticed with some relief that Tommy was among them and was making a beeline for you. Thank fuck.


“She’s one of us. Go back outside.” Thomas ordered, taking you by the free arm. He glared at the guard until the poor boy scrambled back out the door.


“Tommy.” you got out, throwing your arms around him. You hadn’t thought you would be so emotional about seeing your brother, but you’d had a rough go of it. You missed your family.


He gave you a tight squeeze before pulling back, “Hey. Come on, let’s bring you back to life.”


After the shock, some of your family grew angry. It was a giant mess of fury and relief, but you hoped mostly relief.


“Thomas Shelby, you will never cease to amaze me.” Polly stated, and then slapped him across the face. You winced.


“You deserve that.” Ada muttered to your brother, before throwing her arms around you. You hugged her back, letting her support your unbalanced body.


“How did you survive?” Michael blurted out from beside you. You knew that was coming.


“Tommy knows some really good doctors.” you shrugged, releasing Ada but still holding her hand.


“But we all saw your leg…” he trailed off, shuddering. You watched him take a large swig of the drink in his hand.


You admitted honestly, gesturing to the black cane in your hand, “Yeah, it was quite the wound. I’m still surprised I got to keep it. I’ve got this now for my troubles.”


“Well, we’ll take you back no matter what limbs you have. Cheers!” Arthur announced in his booming voice, and placed a glass in your hand. You all clinked glasses and took a celebratory drink.


You smiled with Arthur’s arm around your shoulders, feeling like a proud Shelby once more. That is, until you finally saw Alfie.


The older man stood rigidly, not even blinking as he stared at you. You drank him in, heart dropping at the state he appeared to be in. Since when had he gotten so sick? And there was a woman wrapped around him! You were still trying to process what his appearance could mean when she leaned up and kissed him. And he kissed her back.


You flushed with anger and shame, and wrenched yourself from Arthur’s grasp. You got out, “I need some space.”


Painfully, you forced yourself to run back into the hall without use of the cane. The fresh night air spilling in helped revive you slightly, but you were still in agony. You leaned your back against the wall, trying desperately to catch a full breath and full balance. Hadn’t you guessed this might happen? Hadn’t you known he had also assumed you were dead? He had every right to have moved on, but it didn’t stop you from hoping he hadn’t. Besides, it wasn’t as if you had actually told him how you felt!


You heard Alfie’s cane striking the floor before anything else. You stood up straighter, moving away from the doorway of the ballroom as if it had burned you. You threw the empty glass still in your hand at his feet.


“Y/N.” he called, an unreadable expression on his face. He hadn’t even flinched.


His woman followed, worry blatant on her own face. You knew somewhere in the back of your mind that she wasn’t the one to take it out on, but you couldn’t look at her without seeing red. Your fingers subconsciously tightened around the cane.


“Who is she to you?” you asked Alfie, voice colder and sharper than you thought possible given the state you were in.


“Who are you?” she responded, but you didn’t pay her any attention. You only had eyes for Alfie.


He growled out, ignoring your question, “Ah, hello, Alfie! Sorry for fucking off to America! Sorry for letting everyone think I was fucking dead!”


“You know damn well it wasn’t my idea!”


Alfie snarled, “It may as well have been! You Shelbys are all the same! You don’t care about anyone or anything! All I was to you, right, was a good fuck.”


“That’s not fucking true.” you snapped, voice trembling.


“You’re a Shelby?” the woman questioned.


“Yes.”


“The pack of monsters has another daughter?” she turned to Alfie with a smug grin.


“Monster, eh? Do you know the man you’ve taken as your lover? I do. I know all the mad and monstrous things he’s done.” you turned on her, taking a step forward. How dare she call your family monsters!


“Liar!” she argued.


“Ooh, you really did a number on her.” you cocked your head at Alfie, feeling a little too proud of the accurate assumption you made. You were in pain, and so pain you would wreak.


“Now, listen-”


“Is it true? You’re like them?” she interjected, turning on him.


“Yeah, alright. It is. I lied about my involvement with the Shelbys.” he answered, looking over her head at you.


“Alfie.” she whispered, trying to get his attention one last time.


“Leave before this monster fucking kills you.” you got out, pulling your coat aside to show her the gun strapped to your side. You wouldn’t be able to stand it if he looked back at her.


“Go on. We’re done.” was all he said, still watching you.


Once she was gone, you turned away from him. You didn’t know where to go from here. This wasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want to fight with him! You just wanted to be with him!


“I am sorry.” you finally managed to speak.


“It was Tommy’s idea?” he asked, taking a step closer.


You nodded, “I went along with it though. I was the target. With me dead, they wouldn’t come after you.”


“Two years.” he stated, standing behind you now.


“My leg was nearly torn off. It took a long fucking time for it to heal.” you spun around to look at him, and miscalculated your momentum.


Alfie caught you easily, and wrapped his free hand around your waist. You flushed slightly, embarrassed. Did you have any chance with him at all? Was he really done with her?


Taking a steadying breath, you told him, “I would do it all over again to keep you safe. I love you, Alfie. I know we agreed not to catch feelings, but I couldn’t help it. I fell in love with you. With all of you, the bad and the good.”


Instead of answering, he just leaned down and captured your lips with his. His mouth was warm and firm on yours, and it took everything in you not to burst into tears. You kissed him back as fiercely as you could.


When he finally pulled back, he answered, “I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you.”


“Then what the hell were we doing?” you asked, feeling ridiculous.


“Trying not to get hurt.” he said, being more honest than you expected.


“Great lot of good that did. Now we just have matching canes.” you joked half-heartedly.


“There are worse things to have.” he murmured, and led you back into the ballroom.


Another time, you’d ask him what he meant. For now, you just wanted to enjoy being alive once more. You got your family back. You got Alfie back. Tonight, this would be enough.


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requested by anon:  if this is weird, please ignore. I was seeking angst & love your writing. I was wanting to request Eddie & Venom with a female reader. Reader is always quiet & very submissive after only being in abusive relationships, Eddie & Venom (not abusive) know of this & help her recover. One day, they get into an argument & Eddie throws his hand up in a gesture but reader thinks hes going to hurt her & cowers away from him. What would they do to comfort her after? If this isnt okay you can just delete.

TW: abuse trauma

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~~~

“I am not doing anything wrong,” Eddie was frustrated.  He had been all week.  It had gotten worse when you tried to ask him to calm down.  Stupid of you, of course.  You got quiet.  You should have stayed quiet the entire time.  

“I’m sorry, Ed,” you whispered.  Eddie rolled his eyes “You always are.”  You stood there with your head low.  He was right.  You did things you should not have all the time.  You knew your place.  You had even from a young age.  Your parents made sure you knew your place in a house.  Which was, as they had put it, below the man.  You were not supposed to raise your voice, you were not supposed to question him, you were not supposed to cause him pain.  You were supposed to follow him unconditionally.  Your past relationship made sure you knew that too.  

Eddie was getting a headache.  He had a bad week at work.  No stories meant no money.  He had been begging to get something good for days, but there was nothing.  It was frustrating.  He did not meant to take it out on you, and often he did not.  Today was the deadline and he had nothing.  He was not in a particularly good mood.  He was mad at himself.  Frustrated because he did not want to admit to you that he was not bringing in money this week.  He had made it his priority from the beginning to take care of you.  It was not that you did not work, you did.  You were equals, but Eddie wanted to bring in enough money so you would not have to worry.  He knew what you had come from and he did not want you to have to experience that again.  He was mad at himself.  

There was a silence between you.  You hated the quiet.  It scared you almost as much as the loud times.  You wanted to make Eddie feel better.  You wanted to do anything to ease his heavy mind.  You loved Eddie and knew you needed to show him you loved him.  You knew he was upset.  You never were good with helping when others were frustrated.  You always felt like you only frustrated them more.  But, Eddie is your partner.  You can help him.  

“I am so sorry, Eddie, please let me help you,” you reached for him.  He pulled away, raising his hands in the process.  You froze.  You felt your heart sink into your stomach.  You pulled away, throwing yourself onto the floor.  You began crying.  You begged, “Please, don’t do this.  I didn’t mean it.  I’m sorry.  It won’t happen again.  Please.  I didn’t mean it.  Please, don’t.  I’m sorry.”  You held your hands up in defense.  You were bawling on the floor.  You were troubling to grasp air.  Eddie’s eyes widened.  He realized what was happening.  He looked at his arms, realizing what had happened.  Eddie was at a loss for words.  He got on his knees in front of you.  He did not want to reach for you, he did not want you to cause harm to yourself or him.  He lowered his voice, “Y/N…. it’s okay.  I promise.  I would never do that to you.  I’m here to protect you.”  Eddie slowly inched closer to you.  You were trying to catch your breath.  Eddie touched your leg lightly.  You pulled away.  Eddie moved slowly and sat beside you.  Not touching you, but close.  Venom appeared next to Eddie.  He looked scared.  He had never seen you this bad.  He did not know how to react.  Eddie whispered to Venom, “It’s okay, bud.  This is my fault.”  

You were steadying your breath.  The room was practically spinning.  Everything you had been trying so hard to move on from was coming flooding back to you.  You spent almost a year with a man who took his anger out on you.  This was you and Eddie’s first big fight.  You knew he would never harm you.  But your body did not understand that Eddie was different.  Eddie had spent the past months of your relationship making sure you were safe and comfortable.  He wanted you to know that he was there to protect you and that no one would ever hurt you.  You knew that.  This situation was just too much.  

You slowly lowered your arms.  The look on Eddie’s face was pure guilt and shame.  You could tell how hurt he truly was that he had frightened you at all.  “Baby,” Eddie looked at you with soft eyes, “What can I do to help?  You need something to help?  Water?  Anything?”  You nodded, “W-Water.”  That was all you could get out.  Eddie rose slowly in front of you.  He walked into the kitchen and got you a bottle.  You wiped the tears from under your eyes.   Eddie cracked the water open, squatting in front of you and handing it to you.  You sipped at it.  Taking a deep breath.  “Come here, Ed,” you breathed out.  Eddie sat beside you, wrapping an arm around you.  You rested your head on his shoulder, “I know you would never.  You were just pulling away.  It’s okay.  I know… my body just doesn’t.”  Venom slowly wrapped himself around you, resting his head on your shoulder.  Your eyes were heavy and your heart rate high.  Eddie looked at you, “I am so sorry.  I promised I would never.  I should be more careful.”  You smiled slightly, “You don’t have to be sorry.”  

We love you, princess,” Venom whispered.  Concern and sorrow was clear in his tone.  Venom did not fully understand earthly things.  He understood someone had hurt you and it made you struggle with others, that was it.  It was difficult to go further into detail.  He knew how it made Eddie feel.  Eddie felt anger at whoever caused it and remorse and love for you.  Venom and Eddie may share a mind, but that does not help him understand human things anymore than he can.  He knew he loved you as his host did.  He knew he wanted to protect you.  He could tell you were upset now.  He scared him.  He wanted to help and this was the only way he knew how.

“I love you too,” you breathed out.  Your voice was still as shaky as ever.  Eddie kissed you on the head, “I will do anything for you.”  You closed your eyes.  An overwhelming amount of relief and safety washed over you.  You nuzzled into Eddie’s shoulder, tears falling once again.  Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, “Wh-What is it, princess?”  You smiled, “You will never understand how thankful I am, Eddie.  You are the best thing to ever happen to me.”  Eddie smiled softly, “I will be here forever.  Protecting you.  Loving you.  Anything you need, I am here.”  

Eddie and Venom spent the rest of the night helping you calm down.  

~~~

[END]

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Ok but the way Eddie’s posture gets straighter and more confident by the end of the movie though.

He’s so much happier and more secure in himself. He knows who he is and where he wants to be and what he wants to do. He has a loving, supportive relationship.

Venom has been so good for him and it shows in every movement, gesture, and expression. Also the subtlety of Tom Hardy’s performance is amazing. 

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