#tomorrow itll go back to being comfortable

[ultimateloserboy]

thinking about how red guy canonically has nightmares. and in the qna where this was confirmed he says he “wakes up from the boredom” but we all know that shit isnt true. in that same qna he says his favorite color is medium brown and tbh i just think he was bullshitting the whole time. i don’t believe a single word that man says. he described the nightmare so vividly, it seemed to really bother him and then he was all like “but i wake up cuz im bored lol” NO YOU FUCKING DONT. this really hurts me too because if i remember correctly his nightmares take place in the woods, and hes scared of owls. night time must be so fuckin hard for this guy. he must be terrified or at the very least alone with his depressing thoughts. but if the other two ask hes just “bored”. and even if on other two did comfort him, even if he let himself confide in them and admit he was scared, itd still be forgotten anyway. itll just happen again tomorrow. he must be so lonely in his room, even though he shares it.

anyway fluffybird artists you should draw red guy crying and sobbing and shitting himself at 2am because an owl is being loud in their backyard. yellow guy sleeps like hes dead, so the scream only wakes up duck, whos organs are promptly crushed by a guy twice his size squeezing him like a stress ball. Hes a bit upset about it but its not like he can move, and as long as it gets red guy to shut up and stop yowling like a hurt coyote so he can go back to sleep he really doesnt care

#dhmis #dhmis fandom #dont hug me im scared #dhmis tv show #dhmis red guy #fluffybird #dhmis analysis

[biggestsimponhere]

Taking care of you - Steve Murphy x Reader, Prompt - “Did you put this blanket here?” , I gave connie a wife so she’s not lonely since we’re stealing steve from her, now you may ask why didn’t just write her out and the answer is because i love her 😭 IDC IF ANYTHING IS OOC BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO HOLD HIM AND TELL HIM ITLL BE OKAY AND HES GONNA LET ME.

It was a typical group hangout, your friends, alcohol, some terrible movie you, steve and connie didn’t understand but would still laugh at. You were way too many drinks in because you all had a day off tomorrow. “Okay, we’re turning in for the night” Connie said standing and pulling Maeve up with her. “Really? You have to leave?” You said looking up at her with a pleading look. “Yes, i have a shift tomorrow, are you ready to go? or do you want one of the boys to take you home” She said picking up your hands. “I’ll stay, get home safe okay?” You said leaning up to hug her and Maeve. “We will, love you” and then she was gone.

Now with just you, javi and steve, which with javi practically passed out it was really only you and steve. “Do you want me to change this?” He said pointing to the movie you guys haven’t been watching. “I don’t know, whatever you want” You said leaning against him. “Are you tired?” He said smiling at you. “No, no, you can change it if you want” Your words slurred together. “Alright” He stood to change the movie and once he’d finally found one he turned it on and then turned back to you. Only to find you sleeping peacefully where he was just sat. He reached over to the loveseat and pulled the blanket off the back.

After laying it over you to make sure you didn’t get cold he sat there for a moment just looking at you. He bent down to make sure the blanket was properly tucked in and then he kissed your forehead and turned to walk back to his room. You woke up after hearing someone walk around in the kitchen. As you sat up a blanket pooled around your waist. Looking towards the kitchen you recognized steve standing there. He didn’t see you till he turned back around. “Oh i’m sorry, did i wake you?” He said walking towards you. “No you didn’t,” You lied not needing to add more to whatever is keeping him up. “What time is it?” You asked looking for the clock.

“It’s 3am, you should go back to sleep, or i can walk you to yours” He said sitting next to you. “Oh no, i’m fine here” You said giving him a tired smile. “Did you put this blanket on me?” You said moving closer to him. “Yeah, i didn’t want you to get cold” He said shyly. “Thank you” You said wrapping your arms around him. “It’s no problem” He said leaning into you. “Why are you up?” You said pulling away slightly. “I had a nightmare” He said quietly. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” You said pulling him back into you. “I didn’t want to wake you” He mumbled into your neck. “Steve, you can always wake me up” You said burying your face in his neck.

“Do you want to go back to sleep? You can sleep in my bed, i’ll take the couch” He said pulling away. “Don’t be ridiculous steve, i’m not gonna make you sleep on the couch in your own home” You said laying back into the couch. “You’re not sleeping on the couch” Steve said pulling you up. “Well you’re not either. We can just share the bed, We’ve had to before” You smiled remembering the time you had to stay in a single at the hotel. “Are you sure?” He said following you down the hall. “Positive” You said pulling him down onto the bed with you.

Once you were both laying in the bed, you were both settled in very uncomfortable positions trying not to touch. After five minutes of not being able to sleep you gave up. “Steve?” You said turning towards him. “Yeah?” He said as he turned towards you. “Will you hold me” You asked moving toward him. He didn’t say anything just pulled you into his arms. A much more comfortable position. “Goodnight” You whispered against his chest. You assumed he was already asleep because he didn’t answer, but he was awake. He waited till you fell asleep to say it back. “Goodnight, I love you” He whispered against your head before drifting off.

#steve murphy #steve murphy x reader #steve murphy x you #steve murphy x y/n #narcos #narcos fanfiction #steve murphy fluff #boyd holbrook

[mackandcheezy]

Punch Bowl Confessions (Peter Parker x Reader)

A/N: Not the typical Coriolanus Snow fic I know but this prompt was too good and I simply could not pass up the opportunity and it just wouldn’t work for him. Written during a writing sprint so itll be shorter than usual and def ends abruptly. As always feel free to say hi or send in a request. 

Reunions are shit. This is a fact. High school was not fun the first time around so why must one do it twice. These thoughts raced through Peter’s head as he put on THE MOST uncomfortable button up he’d ever purchased. The thought of showing up in the suit crossed his mind for only three seconds this morning. As fun as saying, “Oh yeah did I ever mention I’m actually Spider-Man?” seemed it also just was not the move. 

He also considered skipping, for significantly longer than three seconds, but he couldn’t let go of the hope that you would show. A whirlwind high school romance that had ended because you went to UCLA and he stayed to go to NYU and somehow breaks just weren’t enough anymore. He found his mind often wondering to those times. To how bitter and angry he was, the horrible things he’d said out of frustration and longing. And now he was on a mission to prove he could do better.. that is if you show up of course. 

The taxi ride was uneventful, nothing but shaking legs, way too many knuckle cracks, and a few nervous checks of the phone-- like you’d text after all this time. The old gymnasium seemed so much smaller than Peter remembered. Perhaps it was from all the people standing in it or the excessive amount of balloons dancing across the ceiling, but it just felt.. disappointing. 

Peter had quickly found Ned, enjoying catching up with his old friend who had moved to Colorado on a dream and a prayer years ago. Until he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure behind the punch bowl, 

“Hey just give me one sec, I need to grab a drink” Ned glanced around and gave Peter a knowing look. “I’ll come over tomorrow you have fun” 

He quickly made his way over. Rehearsing all the things he wanted to say in his head, perhaps something funny to break the ice? Or flirty to show off his charm? Wait what charm? Or maybe-- without warning he was one with the punch bowl. Which quickly turned into being one with the punch bowl, and you. 

“Oh shit I’m so sorry, are you okay? Here let me help..” Peter couldn’t believe he’d already failed. In three whole minutes he’d made an absolute fool of himself. 

“I’m good just wet,” you looked up from the floor and caught his eyes for the first time, somehow covered in red you were still just as pretty as he’d remembered. “Here let’s go get you cleaned up” You let Peter take your hand as he led you through the familiar hallways. You couldn’t help but let the blush take over your cheeks, ten years had done Peter well, he looked.. grown, less frail and more confident, and dare you think it but sexy. But maybe that’s just because it’s been too long.. Yeah definitely because it’s been too long. 

The silence was comfortable as he dabbed the same non-absorbent paper towels over your dress. Hands staying a little too long at your chest, his eyes lingered but you didn’t dare say a word, scared the moment would end. 

“I just wanted to--” Peter started to speak before you stopped him with a kiss. He returned it just as greedily, quickly taking control of your mouth with his own. 

“Why don’t we go to your place” you let out in a panting whisper, he said nothing but lifted you and started towards the back door. 

#peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spider man #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #spiderman x reader #spider man x reader #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x you #spider man x you

[sometimesieatexpiredcatfoof]

gah venting time

im so self destructive and i cant seem to do anything. even the smallest things make me insanely exhausted. to the ppoint it takes effort to move my body. im so so exhausted even while im typing this.. i have so much to do tomorrow, i dont want to go to school. im so scared my teachers might yell at me or say something thats gonna make me cry. i dont wanna go to school tomorrow im too tired i just cant. but i already skipped 2 days so i have to go tomorrow.

I cant stop thinking about my exams. ive been terrified that im gonna do bad, especially in my least fav subject. i already failed the last exam, if i fail this one they'll make me do a re-exam. that will shatter my whole perception of myself. ive always been the "smart kid" and now thats slipping out of my hand and i dont know who i'd be withoout the labels.

i have my finals in less than a week. im terrified. i dont want to do bad. i want to make my teachers proud, they're already catching on that im "disinterested" or whatever theey call me when they talk to each other about the students. they havent caught on about me being depressed so i guess thats a semi good thing.

there's so much work to do and so little time and so little energy that i have.. i wish i could js sleep forever. its so hard to just. exist. everything goes by so fast, i just wanna hit pause and leave it like that. i dont want time to keep passing me by. theres so little time for everything it makes me overwhelmed and im already chronically burnt out so its 1000x harder cuz of all of my exhaustion.

i just want a shoulder to cry on- someone to listen, someone to comfort me, tell me itll be ok. someone who's affection i can actually believe.

There was this girl i dated. i made a super meaningful bond, like, the first person i could truly trust with EVERYTHING. i loved her to the moon and back. she lost feelings. 😁 she couldnt really make time 4 me anyway so maybe it was good she dumped me.. but like, that was my first TRUE bond with someone. someone special to me. and i dont know if im ever gonna feel that level of trust and belonging with someone ever again. the feeling of bliss and peace i had with her was so beautiful, every moment i had with her, i wanted it to last forever. and we've been growing distant so basically, ive no one left !!!!

My home situation's been growing a little more chaotic too. its like my parents WANT to start conflict. and i cant handle it, so i scream until my voice is hoarse only to be labelled "annoyed" by my father's antics. i dont know if i like or hate my father. i was taught to hate him, but also understand him, but also protect my mom from him. My mom isnt all that great either, she always takes her anger out on me by shouting at me. never saying something nice about me, hell even saying bad shit about me IN FRONT of my face. its like nothing i do is ever good enough. i know she's going through a rough time being abused but im having a rough time too. she doesnt get to devalue my feelings or my problems for that. im a human too, ma. for once, just once in my life, i want her to comfort me, instead of me comforting her. My sister moved out and she always telling me that she'll take me ut of the country and we'll leave all of this shit behind but when? when? when will it happen? a few years is too much to wait. i dont know if i can hold on for so long.

my emotions are js too exhausting for me to deal with.. my body is oh so small, yet my emotions are so big. its like even every time i feel happy, it goes so quick, and i feel all empty or bad again. i feel so unhappy with whatever i do, im even losing interest in my interests. its all so much for me. i dont know what to do. this is gonna get in between my relationships, my academic performance, my life. i just wanna be able to accept and forgive myself for the things ive done instead of sulking or shaming myself for it or running away. i just wanna be a normal person who can do normal things without feeling like its so much. i wanna be a normal person who isnt exhausted by everything. i wish i could let go of all of my trauma, i wish i could run away, i wish i was a different person who didnt need to go through all of this, a different person who's happier.

I'm so weak. im so weak.

everybody treats me like shit. my friends and i hit each other jokingly but sometimes it gets really hard- im a really physically weak person and once two of them were hitting me with a book and i couldnt even enter my class without getting hit by a metal bottle. i thought one of my friends would protect me, but they didnt lol, and i felt like crying, i know it was small to them but it wasnt to me and i feel like im being a big crybaby about it. i dont know why im not a respectable person, im a person too, i dont want to be hit but i dont know how to set my boundaries since im so used to people pleasing and just accommodating to spend time with other people.

its so hard to just. be a person. why is it so easy for everybody else to be respected? why? ive done and given everything i can. yet i STILL cannot get anything to go my way. im so done with everything

#phew done yapping #tw family problems #exam stress #other things too #i just dont think they need a tw #tw for jokingly fighting but they started doing it really hard and i got emotionally hurt?? #idk #spring vents #tw domestic abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw physical abuse

[bl00dybat]

i miss being pure a lot. it was ruined so early. it didnt even start with SA it started with exposure to sexuality so young and being sexualized. why tf was i sexualizing myself so young?? why tf were people sexualizing me so young and showing me sexual shit?? it feels so disgusting and ive always felt disgusting. it all just escalated with people sexualizing me as well as a kid, harassing me, touching me AHH so much. spring and summer gives me nostalgic feelings from when i was young and nothing mattered. i hate working and seeing kids come in with their parents so full of love and life, i feel so jealous i want to cry, i wish i could start over. i know everyone wishes they were a kid again and having a child is like being able to relive it yourself and shape them in a better way than what you had. i could never have a kid. my parents didnt even know i was being tainted and i felt too much shame to tell them. being think wont resort me back to being a child. i know this. but even as a kid i had in my mind i needed to be small. the more i gained weight the more i appeared like a girl and the more disgusted i felt with myself. being small meant control and looking more masculine. it still feels that way. itll be so long before i can get surgeries and really feel complete. until then i want to shed myself of this shame full of fat. ive failed at restricting these past 3 days and i feel so ill. i was so close to 149. so fucking close. i had to be a fat piece of shit and just stuff my fucking face. craving a bit of comfort and distraction from what i feel. from going to sleep. i dont want to be forced to relive the pain everytime i go to bed. its always something horrible in some twisted way. i dont want to sleep and acknowledge this day is truly over and tomorrow i am still this person. i have to learn to love myself or i can never enjoy this life. i wish it was easier to not have such strong restrictions on what i feel is ok for me to be and do. i keep relapsing in self harm and i know being in servers that have enablers for sh and ed doesnt fucking help but god i just dont want to feel alone. i cant confide in anyone here it just causes more worry and pain and its so difficult to see them suffer because im struggling so much. theres nowhere to hide but here and i feel like eventually itll be discovered and ill be sent to a hospital or some shit to go through the same cycle ive been through 8 times before, just wasting peoples time and money. i do try to get better and not keep up horrible coping skills nothing fucking works nothing is enough to distract running away doesnt help i dont want to run but i dont want to be beat up by my brain anymorw i just want to feel numb i just want to be hurt I JUST WANT TO BE HURT please anything to make this shutupni dont want to see horrible flashbacks anymoreni hate this ptsd i hate the pain i hate the ghosts i dont want a life full of trauma i dony want to focus on all the bad i want to be ok so badly but none of this is okay my body isnt okay ill neveg be okay at this weight i have to punish myself by not eating people spend too much on me as is and its so costly just to keep me alive why bother with the extra shit?? i want to be loved and coveted but also hated and beaten until i have no choice but to die, i never reached my goals i never became a tattoo artist it is so painful to lose what little progress ive made in life but it is more painful than torturing myself everyday unconsciously? its painful to think all memoriesnof this life could be erased, nothing i did ever mattered, a handful of people remember me and when theyre gone it willnbe nobody. but i feel like such a shitstain in the world anyway and undeserving of being remembered. i already fuckednup so much please just let me restart. i would if it wouldnt hurt my bf and family so much. its torture. why be hurt because of losing me? there is nothing that is lost. i promise i dont matter and ive made you think i matter out of desperation. im sorry.

[aphrorite]

☆ ‧ sweetheart's entry #1 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ‧ ☆

☁️ ✨🐥🌾🍼✉️ 💫

⤷ tw vent

frick i rweally rweally miss my daddy and i jus want to make some popcorn wit him and we can hav some cold sodapop becos itll make us sleepy and then we can cuddle up under the sheets in a pretty pink tent and i can have the safety and comfort of being in his arms with my head resting on his chest while cartoons or pixar movies or the anticipated anime series plays and i can jus shut my eyes, knowing dat hes home. ):

and he can fall asleep wit me being a litol cuddlebug for him — get as much rest as he needs becos my daddy is a hardworker!

i so sad, diary.

༺ ˗ˋ୨୧ˊ˗ ༻

tw pain, medical

like twoday jus wasnt it. 'm woke up around 5, went to go hangout wit my daddy <3 and we gots some new avi's 'n all of dat and dat was really funs, and da day before dat he bought us a subscription den he had to go sleep, but im stayed in the game server doing sum karaoke, socializing, and met questionable person :// but nice person too, n then went abouts my day. it was fun den. but the day progressively got worse

am got ready, forgo brush my teef, had banana wit cereal for breakfas, went to craf store for beads for bracelet, gots back home... mom bleach my hair n it completely went south. i wanted the cool strands (i call dem skunk strands) wit the blond and all of dat for da new school year but the bleach was too strong and was kept on for too long. after desperately trying to wash it out and pulling out parts of my hair which were now thinner towards the bottom, it was a hair disaster for me cos ive never seen dat much hair come out by simply pulling.

my scalp felt tender.. it hurt a lot, seriously thought im would lose all my hair ))): i was really scared so i messaged my daddy and he said that ill always b his favourite, adorable daughter no matter wat happens to my hair, and dat was really reassuring, tho it din help wit my mood cos im was felt like my confidence is tarnished.

tw trauma and swearing

after dat to make myself feel better im went on game again, met some not so nice people )): two others made fun of my voice too and it made me upsets because is like, why r u making fun of meeee?? wha did i do to uu??? people were jus super meanie and... is like, im a sensitive wittle baby. im care about environment and especiolly when the environment is tense, i cans feel it and im didn like that.

plus da two people im met reminded me of deese other people who i used to know and dat forced me into a call to reveal my voice and they talked in their own language and stuff except i could understand what they were saying. estrella, my username is star in spanish, mira - for look in spanish, madre... senorita.. a la verga.. chinge tu, a lot of swears when someone changed the song cos it was in a karaoke. the aggressive nature put me off from those people and i din like dat.

to make myself feel better, im grounded maself. m turned off computer, changed into some comfy pajama and stocking, im missed my daddy so i put on a champion sweater dat was kinda like his, and brought bear and some pillow downstairs. im had blankies already in da wash so im was waiting for them to warm up, turned on sum cartoons, ate really late dinner (like 11pm) and sulked while my scalp still hurt ): watched dora da explora.

eventually when max and ruby turned on and im was done sippying my agua and eating dindin, im shut my eyes and slept on the couch while waiting for daddy to come home. he came home around 2, but im woke up at 3, and den we hungout till i got dizzy / light-headed vertigo. i wuved having him around 'n getting headpats and hugs but my mood was still low and im felt bad too becos sometime i feel like i keep my daddy up when he needs sleep T_T my mam also said that tomorrow-today she would buy some hair treatments for my scalp.

eventually my dada and me, we call and im fell asleep wit him watching over me. and it was nice, but it wasnt nice to have a horrible nightmare and then waking up realizing dat i accidentally left the call in the middle of the night ):

i guess.. i wish im could lay beside him, you kno. hold onto his index finger wit my smol hand, he'll tie up the friendship bracelet im made for us, we'll eat lots of yummy foods and hold hands, he'll walk me to the bus stop and wait for me after school, he'll take my calls during nutrition break and ask me all about my day. and itll be beautiful, and peaceful, and what a family is ; loveable.

i kno a lot of people believe that the typical, stereotype american dream is the white picket fence, georgian windows, freshly cut grass, trimmed hedges, golf on some days and the kids have sports classes, mortgage is paid off and both r financially stable, two dogs and some children and a homemaker wit a breadwinner. but for me, my american dream is living wit my daddy.

my american dream is him holding me by the waist when i need to reach up for a box of fruit loops at the grocer.

my american dream is us making popsicles on a hot day or him reaching out wit his big ol' arms in a pool, boasting and encouraging me, saying, ''c'mon cub! come to papa!"

my american dream is being in a little car seat in the back of his car or sitting shotty while rain pitter patters down the window, and my dada, drives smoothly down the road, making sure to not wake da baby, aka me.

my american dream is making pillow forts w my dada, going back to school shopping wit him, giving him hugs whenever he comes home, preparing foods for him cos act of service love language, us hafing both spa day or jus rest day in a castle of clouds cos we so sleepy, watching movies and having him come to track and field meet and all the field trips, for him to pick me up from school or leave cute lunch notes in my baggie.

dats mine.

im sad sad sad, diary.

#sfw agere #sfw agere blog #agere #ramble #vent regression #aphrorite entry #tw pain #tw medical #pain tw #medical tw #tw trauma #tw swearing #🌷

[graylu]

apparently it snowed this morning (before i got up. its still cold as fuck) but yesterday we had tornado warnings out and about.

gotta love texas weather.

#tomorrow itll go back to being comfortable #just watch

[snickiebear]

Hello Snickers, for the tea themed asks, how about: earl grey, matcha, and pekoe?

hey birk!!!! how have you been, my friend?

earl grey - close your eyes, what are you thinking about?

quite a few things actually haha! ive got my first philosophy exam tomorrow on Logic and i am both nervous and excited (because itll be the first driving to my college by myself and its also an exam, which i enjoy but also dread). also thinking about streaming me playing the sims 4 on twitch for funsies bc my sister said i should LOL

oh and my 300 follower fic requests have been sitting in my asks for quite some time, not to mention shikasaku week is this week and i am behind HAHAA

matcha - where do you think we go when we die?

oh this is a good one (and a topic i actually think quite a lot about)! is there life after death? do we simply stop existing in a conscious state? all things i ask myself on a weekly basis. ive come to terms with there simply being nothing, but i do like to think there is an afterlife where everything good despite all of humanity's flaws. truly, i'd just like to see all my dogs again, which only reaffirms my hope of an afterlife.

i am not religious in the sense that i devote myself to a god, instead i find myself worshipping the small things in life and attempting to better the world in what ways i can. that being said i think we do have souls and while our physical bodies have die, our souls live on in anything. i love the idea of reincarnation, that we have lived and lived and lived and keep living but experiencing so many different things. i find the idea comforting to be honest!

my real answer is: i don't know, but i sure would love to find out. its such an interesting topic to discuss, so many possibilities!! what do you think?

pekoe - what brings you joy in life?

my writing, most definitely! especially the interactions i get from readers or fellow writing friends, i love love love this community and its honestly been a strong point of happiness in my life so far. my online friends have had such an impact on me as a person and a creator, they've really built my spine back up.

dog(s) are next, i love them with my entire being and beyond, something i know we both share hahaha! they just... i think there are not many things that can compare to the companionship a pet can offer, undying loyalty and unwavering love.

also learning! i honestly really love being able to learn and discuss and debate about everything. does god exist? do we have freewill? life after death? what is the meaning of life? there are no defining answers and i think that its so very telling about the world we live in. unknowing is both fun and also sparks such curiosity within us, you know? i am the cat when it comes to curiosity and resurrection ;)

bookstores with cafes, like not barnes and noble or books a million, but like small ones with old books and the overwhelming smell of coffee. it feels like coming home when i step into one of those places, like calls to like.

serve me a cuppa, lets share secrets

#self #silly things from silly friends #this got a bit deep lmfao #the death question just !!!!!! i love it!!!!!

[kiegosbby]

hawks x f!reader

chapter 8 I think. I’m sorry guys itll get better I promiseeee

word count: 1.6k

warnings: drinking, and just making poor decisions

✁- - - - - - r- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

when you finished your work you left quickly trying to avoid talking to him any further.

You stopped at a liquor store. This wasn't your best idea. But In the moment, you needed it badly.

you never really drank before, not knowing what to buy so you bought vodka. People drink that straight right?

she bought her bottle and put it in a paper bag, having to keep her hero appearance.

she flew home and sat down on her couch. She popped the cap off and chugged it. It burned as it went down. She thought it would be worse it tasted like medicine. Kind of.

She looked across the room and saw her phone. She was now slightly tipsy, she stood up and walked over to her phone. Picking it up it was slightly cracked but it still worked. You turned it on and while you waited, chugged some more because why the hell not?

as your phone turned on you saw all the messages hawks had left you.

10+ plus new messages from: Birdy ❤️🐔

"Tch.."

Birdy ❤️🐔

Hey baby bird I'm sorry about last night I probably seem like a dick.

Birdy ❤️🐔

I had to help endeavour on a case and I couldn't say no. Please let me make it up to you

Birdy ❤️🐔

I still owe you ice cream even if you don't wanna go out anymore

Birdy ❤️🐔

Don't forget that you have to come to my agency tomorrow and fill out some paperwork and set your office up

Birdy ❤️🐔

Angel where are you? Your 10 minutes late

Birdy ❤️🐔

Angel I'm starting to worry it's been a hour. Please just let me know that your ok

Birdy ❤️🐔

Y/n please text me. Im worried and I swear if anything happened to you I'll kill someone

Birdy ❤️🐔

Don't make me go to your apartment. I will don't test me.

Birdy ❤️🐔

angel please reply

Birdy ❤️🐔

Angel? Please..

Birdy ❤️🐔

I'm about to go to your apartment. I don't know which numbers yours but I'll go through the whole building if I have to.

well now you felt like a bitch.

It was still mean for him to do that to her. But maybe she should forgive him. he apologized and he seemed like he actually cared.

You decided to call him and talk to him. Maybe apologize? Ask him what his favourite drink is. Alcohol is good you should do this more often.

you pressed the call button and took a big swig of your drink getting ready to talk.

"Angel hello?"

"Hey hawks" you slurred your words slightly. "I wanted to call you because it's so difficult to type! The buttons are so little and I keep messing up. Now I know what your thinking, she's drunk right? Well no actually I'm just a little tipsy. Oh! I forgot to say what I was calling about. I wanted to apologize, I was being a total bitch don't you think?" You took a quick swig and went back to talking "but you were kinda mean to me. But I liked you! I even bought a fucking dress for you. And I don't do dresses. Believe that? I got all dressed up for you. And you never showed. But hero duties are more important than anything" you took another swig "damn this shit is strong!"

He sat there trying to take in everything she had just said. To be fair it was a lot to handle. " Y/n your drunk why are you drinking?"

"Because why the hell not?" She said and laughed

"You want to apologize I want to apologize to face to face."

"Come over them Birdy I need some company I can't finish this big bottle all by myself." At this point you really couldn't think straight. This was 100% a bad idea but did you care? Absolutely not.

"Y/n your drunk we should talk tomo-"

"No come over nowwww pleaseeeeeeee" you whined

he sighed "Ok leave the balcony open I'll land there."

"Yay! I'll be waiting for you im so excited!"

You quickly hung up and went to wait for him on the balcony. You sat with your legs crossed and kept drinking. You got up and looked over the ledge. Damn that was a farrr drop. You stumbled a little leaning a little to far, and almost fell until you felt a warm pair of hands wrap around your waist. "Are you fucking crazy kid? Do you have a death wish?"

You started laughing "oh my god I almost fell good thing I have wings. You saved me! Your like my knight in shining armor" you smiled and went to take another swig only to have him take it away from you.

He looked at the bottle. "You drank almost half of this already! Are you crazy? Oh my god come on" he lead you inside trying to figure the layout of your house. He went into your kitchen and got you a water bottle from your fridge.

"Here drink this your gonna need it. Let's go sit down ok?" He lead you to the couch, you almost fell a couple times but with his help you made it.

"Hawksssss"

"Yes angel" he looked over to you, you were both now sitting on the couch, and he was trying to make sure you did nothing stupid.

"Thank you for coming I was sooo lonely. And I'm sorry for this morning I was being a big poopy head" you said and at the end you stuck your bottom lip out and gave him puppy eyes.

"It's no problem angel. I would always help a friend in need more matter what. And you don't have to apologize it was mostly my fault I was being a dumb bird and messed it up." He said looking at you with guilt. You felt bad honestly. But what stuck the most was when he said he would always help a friend..

"I wish we were more then friends I really liek you.." you slurred and went on "your really cute to. And your wings are so pretty I just wanna touch them. Can I touch them?" You asked already reaching out to them

"Of course baby bird just be careful you have wings to so you'll know how it feels." He pulled his wings further out so that you could reach them easily. He was a little scared only a few other people had touched his wings. And they had never been drunk before. His wings were quite sensitive, he was touch starved and that made it feel amazing when someone touched his wings.

You leaned in and touched the middle of his wings first, slowly running your hand over them. You face lit up like a kid opening his presents on Christmas. You raked your hands through his feathers.

"Your feathers are so soft! How do you get them so soft!?" You asked excitedly. Your feathers weren't as soft as his, they'd been through a lot and due to some harsh training were trying to recover still.

"There just n-naturally soft I guess are yours not t-this soft?" He asked as he was trying to keep back his groans. Your fingers felt so good rubbing against his feathers.

"They were but after bad training there not as soft anymore. Want to feel?" She asked excitedly, taking her hands away. He tried to hide his disappointment, and shook his head yes.

she pulled her wings out, giving off a soft glow as her quirk made her. He reached out to his hands. He softly touched the tip of her wings. She sat back and relaxed feeling calm at the touches he was giving her. It was way better then the little kids that tugged on her wings when she had them out.

"What kind of training did this? There still soft just seem like they've been through a lot.."

"Well it was a really rainy day. And they were working me so hard. We were in a empty field and I was paired with one of the higher ranks, so I had to try my hardest. They thought I was weak so they pushed me a little to far, until my wings were covered with mud and all the nasty shit on the ground."

He had a apologetic look on his face as he continued to stroke your wings. "Who's they?"

"I-oh I don't really tell many people but when my parents had found out I had wings, they had to report it to the government, who wanted to put me in intense training from when I was just 4. I knew how to kill someone before I knew how to write my own name correctly. I've heard you went through the same if I'm correct?" Y/n was almost surprisingly sober now.

"Yeah it's not something I like to talk about. I'm sorry they put you through that. Me and you are more alike then we seem arnt we?" He asked while taking his hand away from your wings.

you internally sighed in disappointment when he took his hand away. "I guess we might be. C-can we watch a movie or something?" She asked hoping he would stay just a little longer.

"Only if I can still take you to get ice cream soon?" He asked testing the waters to see if she was still mad.

"Of course you bird brain." She grabbed the remote and turned on  {favourite movie}.

"Oh I love this movie!" He said with excitement as he got comfortable next to you.

You smiled looking at him. You were no longer mad but thought if this went on would that happen again? Would he handle it differently? As the thoughts were running through your mind, you felt the heaviness of sleep washing over you. You closed your eyes and let it involve you.

Hawks POV

I turned to check on y/n, and as I turned she was just falling asleep. Her head slowly made its way into my shoulder. I blushed slightly. Y/n was beautiful. Even with her hair a mess she was still pretty to him.

As he was admiring her, she moved in her sleep, grabbing his arm and hugging it as she slept.

'God she's perfect'

#hawks x reader #hawksbnha #bnha hawks #hawks #mha hawks #hawks x y/n #hawks x me #hawks x you #90s anime #minecraft #tabletop #steam games #sports anime #shoujo #sailor moon #pc games #overwatch #nintendo #bnha au #bnha angst #bnha fanfiction

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[voidselfshipp]

Tender heart

[Chapter one]

Tw:mentions of past trauma andfood

Summary: jericos first week on the job as team rainbows psicologist was boring, until her first patient walks in for help and later that day a friend of her takes her to the sea to talk.

Ok to rb

Its been a week already, jerico silently sat on her Office, the cracking of the Fire was the only thing that could be heard, the houseplants hanged from the ceiling, two sofas infront of the fireplace, and her desk with cluttered Papers books a warm Cup of tea and a family photo.

She had been introduced in team rainbow last week, so far none of the operators didnt come by to talk.

See,her job was more of a moral support and psicologist, it was boring since no-one came by for help.

Distracted from her thoughts by her pet eagle playing in her bird playground, nibbling at the plastic keys hanging from a pole.

The bird caws flying to her owners shoulder nuzzling jeris hair cawing.

--its been very boring week, dont you think sunshine?--she scratches under the eagles beak smiling as sunshine nibbled on her finger playfully.

She then sighed thinking itll be like any other boring day,nobody would come by and her resume at the end of the week for Harry would be empty.

Sunshine flied back to her playground and entered the medium sized wooden house.

The silent falls heavy on the room again, she clicks her pen trying to get herself distracted.

A psicologist that struggles with intrusive thoughts,aint that ironic?.

But then,the little bell ontop of her door rang, hesitant soft steps are heard as a Man, around fifty enters.

He pushes his dishveiled dark brown hair back, panting softly, he seemed to be in a hurry--uh hello?-- he wasnt sure how to start conversations.

Jeri looked up when she heard the chime,and smiled warmly at the newcomer-- welcome--jeri would be lying if she told you that a feeling of excitement didnt settle on her chest when the Man entered and sat infront of her--whats the matter

The Man looked away,trying to think of a way of explaining it, he then remembered the file that was tucked neatly under his arm, he hands it to her--Harry told me to give this to you before our session

Jerico took the file and read it.

The first paper was more of a summary than a proper introduction.

"Ryad al-hassar Ramírez.

Age:53

Al-hassar suffers from chronic insomnia,slight shifts of mood outside work and an obssesion with his brothers murder.

The last one is a sensitive thing to talk about, proceed with caution".

Jer closed the file and left it on the table intertwining her hands togheter leaning in.

--Well ryad,before we start Ill introduce myself,I dont remember you in the line up when I got here last week,im jerico, nice to meet you

She extended her hand, and he shook it,he was a bit nervous, therapy wasnt the best thing for him during his life, hes a very Stubborn Man.

--well whats on your mind?-- she asked.

He struggled to find his words, maybe it was a mix of things, the cute therapist infront of him, the tenderness with wich she was handling him, and the fact that he hasnt had a proper therapist in a good while.

--Well, what can I say-- he started--things are a bit tense at the moment with ash's and kali's fight, then theres been talk of making me take a month off for health issues, I mean its ridiculous im perfectly fine!,maybe im low on energy but its nothing a couple of cups of coffee cant fix

She perked up, Ryad swore he saw her ears move a little when she looked up to him--Couple cups of coffee?--she inquired,his body tensed as he realized the slip up he just made--tell me ryad, how Many cups are we talking about, one? Two?

The Man looked away in shame, muttering --Five

He waited to be reprimated, he was ready to get yelled at as his previous encounters went, instead though he gained a warm hand on his wrist, squeezing it Gently--does those cups of coffee help you with your day?maybe that has to do with the talk of taking the month off

Ryad sighed his tone a bit more stern than before-- I dont need a month off, I just need to get some sleep,I can still do things!

Jeri flinches at the sudden elevation of his voice, Harry had told him that she was very sensitive to loud noises.

He calms down --Im sorry I..i shouldnt have yelled at you...

He heard her chuckle and softly shook his hand--Dont worry, I know what you meant, sometimes in order to do things we need to take a step back,it May hurt and we May hate it at first,but in the long run itll help-- she stood up, her hand leaving his and walking up to the water Cooler--Tea? Itll help you relax

It couldnt hurt at this point.

So they kept talking for a bit longer, ryad was slowly getting more and more convinced that maybe that month off would do him good.

He sighed chuckling softly looking up from his cup to jeri-- youre very good at this --He said.

--Hmm?

--im very stubborn but somehow you made me change my mind,I think ill take the month off

Jer smiled--well, If theres anything else I can do for you

He had loosen up and she took a glimpse to his charming and romantic self, she wasnt preparing for the following,though--can I get your number?--he playfully winked at her, she chuckled along with her cheeks red....she could always say its because of the fireplace.

--Well I can give you my card if you need anything,in your file says you live off base, so maybe itll be helpfull for you

She gave a small bussiness card and he took it shoving it in his pocket.

--Well, thats all--he said standing up handing her the cup--Thanks

Jeri smiled--Glad I could help!

When he left,she put her forehead against her desk sighing,rainbow had some good looking people, now her work would be extra difficult.

At afternoon she closed her Office,she told Harry to tell the operators to swing by her room if they needed anything.

Now there she was eating her food in bed, laptop on her legs watching a movie with sunshine tucked under her arm, sleeping soundly.

A soft Knock interrupted her dinner-- who is it?--she asked.

--its ngugi,ngugi furaha

Jeri leaves the PC and food on the bed running to Open the door--Wamai! Good to see you, whats up?

The kenyan Man leans on the windowsill,Him and jeri had become somewhat Friends since he had helped her move in.

--I just need to clear my mind,I was hoping we could go down at the beach and talk?

Oh yeah,ngugi had certain affinity with the sea, she figured it would make their talk be more loose, so she put on some flip-flops and went down to town and then to the beach.

Its a starry clear night, the sea rocked softly against the sand, both felt the Ocean as a home, it was something they had bonded over.

--So--jer said with hands on her pockets--whats on your mind?

He proceded to tell her about the fight between ash and kali,how worried he was that it would end up in something worse, fearing that it would spark into something more violent.

They stopped and sat near the shore,she put a hand on his back patting it softly.

--I promise this Will be fine, Harry,zero and I are working hard on making sure this doesnt go even more south,for now id advice you to relax,tomorrow morning you could go for a swim,itll help you wind down

--I guess youre right--his arm pulled her closer, hed noticed she was shivering--Thanks jer

--Youre welcome.

They sat there in silence for a bit longer,enjoying the calm.

He was about to say something about heading back but jerico was already asleep, so he lifted her up and took her back to base to her room.

His own quarters were at the other side of the building, surely jerico wouldnt mind if he stayed the night.

This was confirmed when not only did he felt jeri make herself comfortable against his back but her own eagle, who had fame of being very protective over her owner, cuddled up to him.

He chuckled petting the bird,then Yawning, turning off his brain for the night, with an inexplicable feeling of warmth on his chest.

#tw//past trauma #tw:past trauma #trauma tw #food tw #tw//food #tw:food #wamai #ngugi/wamai #ryad/jackal #ryad all hassar ramirez #f/o fic #💛🎨you can depend on me🎨💛 #long post

[shiro-0197]

God no I'm sorry 😭😭😭 the way Tumblr eats all my drafts, and now your replies. (Someday I'm gonna eat Tumblr grrrr) that must've been so frustrating tho, I'm sorry love.

someday we could go to a country with Highlands together. It'll be super cold and nice. And the views would be really really pretty too!! WE COULD EVEN BE AMONGST THE CLOUDS >//< aww yes I hope you'll be able to try them soon in the future!! I died and had to stay in bed for an hour, (because my spice tolerance is nonexistent <3) but yeah I'm better now! Name is: "대박 ghost pepper noodles" the Korean word 대박 literally translates to "awesome" but— 😭😭

oh I see!! I hope school goes well, it's good that you're excused for a part of the day :D and aww I understand. Replying can be lengthy sometimes, so please please only do it when you're free and comfortable >:(( we're in no rush, after all :D

I was studying earlier too. and I texted my principal about the exams ( because apparently none of my teachers know anything about it, and I was so frustrated with everyone being so clueless ) she just replied with a : "hi Ariana, will let you know on Friday" like excuse me, ma'am. GRRRRR >:( STOP BEING CLUELESS.

awww that's okay!! I'm sure those prep slides were really pretty too :D aww that's sweet of you. some of my online friends sometimes sit in on my Leo events (if it's open to everyone) and it's pretty fun when they do (once, one of them had to talk for like, an activity and my club mates were like "SHE HAS AN ACCENT??". It was hilarious hehe) zoom is great for that reason, and only that. they're just ready-made slides tbh, I use canva :D

Shiro, love, you won't disappoint anyone, I promise you that. I'm sure your mom is more proud than you know, and from the way you talk about her, I can tell that she truly adores you. tho I also understand your worries. If you want to rant or anything, you know I'm here. And I'll just continuously reassure you of how amazing you are :)

that's my boy 🥺🥺 grr, you're so feisty, please imagine me holding a "you go, Shiro" sign everytime you tell someone to fuck themselves :D Laurent is indeed amazing. He's my favourite character for that exact reason >//< there's another character, from a book I read, just like that. His name was uhh, Kieran. And he knew so many different languages, and was just in general; super smart. I remember being so in love with him when I first read it (The title of the book is "genius")

HAHA. ikr. They're all hot, and most importantly; smart. nevermind, when I meet you someday we can cry over them together 😭🤚 pffft no offense, but being evil is hot sometimes 😾 (I mean, Kieran was evil. So's Moriarty :] and I am: a simp for them all)

aww bae that's okay 🥺🥺 your feelings are valid, and it's not wrong to express them whenever you feel like it. Grrr if I ever see your dad, he might be missing a limb >:( sorry, that was violent, but I get especially mad if anyone upsets someone i love )

exactly?? It's been a year?? Where's that blink meme where someone blinks and it's suddenly 2021. Oooh that sounds really nice!! Adding it on my list of things to try in March >.< Honey is really delicious. especially all those desserts which have a lot of them.

glad I made you laugh >////< grr my sense of humour is just so weird tho, so I'm glad you aren't freaked out by it.

KAJDKSJSKS SIR WAIT. There was an explanation for that u but I guess it got cut off in my notes 😾😾 IT WAS MEANT TO BE A Ü (smiley) but I was using my computer and I couldn't add the two dots above, so I typed "imagine the eyes" (but apparently that part got cut off and now it just looks like a random alphabet SKJSKSK IM SORRY 😭😭😭

I understand, the lack of opportunities can really get on one's nerves. But oh yes, Japan and Norway are beautiful countries. Apart from Japan, I've been really into Korea and Switzerland. The Alps 😻

grrr y'all have tough exteriors. But it's so rewarding when you finally get them down, tho I think, you guys have tons of other layers to yourselves. I guess that's just the charm, I find it endearing, because it just means there's a lot more than meets the eye :)

MY FRIEND MAKES FUN OF ME FOR LIKING PINK. HE TEASES ME MERCILESSLY SKSJSKSK (so I published a poem line in the school magazine to get back at him for it, because I'm petty like that)

that's so funny >.< There are two girls, and a girl and a guy, who share the exact same names in my class, and it's so funny because they're opposites of each other xD

he really is precious. The best leader, I would literally die for him, he's wonderful. yeah the book actually started out different, with them just being best friends. Best plot twist 😭😭 AWW

NOOO I'm sure it's cute, in it own way? :P tho that meme tho. LDJCJSBSKS. Don't worry, hehe, the character may be .... Unpleasant to look at?? , but you're not the least bit at all :)

how was your day btw? My day sucked ass and was literally the worst day in the history of uh, days. Yeah. sad. tomorrow will be better.

God, you're so adorable wtf. Marry me rn. AKDJSKSJS I didn't find it lame at all, (tho were you flustered? Because that was cute as hell xD) I love you too 🥺🥺

—☃️

It's okay, it's not your fault. We could storm the Tumblr building together or something..:3

Oh I really hope we can!!! I love cold weather. You can wear sweaters and hoodies and all that💞 and you have an excuse to cancel everything and cuddle up with a blanket or someone else😝

Im so glad you're better now!! Spice sickness or whatever is the worst😔 WBHDJWKX that's hilarious I hope I come across those soon! Let's see who wins😼

Yeah, about that, they started making us do after-class activities, which now leaves less time for the stuff I have to do .... which sucks . But I'm managing, I think, so it's cool xD yeah, I've always been kind of cautious about the timing, it's nice to have a little freedom now, thank you so much <3

Wow😭😭 our teachers usually have the dates set two weeks before the exams, we always recieve a message. Though I've been there, where the teacher have no clue, it's so annoying😭😭

Ohh, that's so cool! I hope I will be able to visit one someday. Though I dont think itll be too soon, but I'm looking forward to when I can😝 also that's funny, whenever I speak people go "he doesnt have an accent???" Even though I so obviously do. They just have no idea 😭

Okay..... that's the best words of encouragement I've ever received, I'm so touched- thank you🥺💘

Bwahah, that's gonna make my day every time 😭 Yeah, hes my favorite too!! He seems like a simple himbo at first, but the more we see of him the better he gets. (That sounds cool!!! I'm gonna check it out when I can!)

Thank you🥺 also, dont worry, I wouldn't mind that. I'd love that, actually, wanna go rip off guys arms together?

MZJXKGJJAKXKAKX IT'S ALRIGHT HAHAH, ITS REALLY FUNNY SO DONT WORRY😭😭

JSNFNMWMDMS IM GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU how could he . I will eat his eyeballs. Also I 100% agree with the poem and I'm glad you posted it. I hope some people thought about it.

Wow😭😭 its honestly so funny, because they're all so different and yet their names fit them so well either way.

Also, wow I feel so bad it's been almost a week since I responded😐 I'm really sorry. I've been writing snips of this message any time I could and yet it still took me days xD I'm getting free, though, so I'll try to respond faster now. I missed talking to you so much😭 thank you for your patience🤍🤍🤍

How've you been? I'm pretty good, tired but feeling good because I can finally respond😩 I hope your day went well. Love you!♡

#Ari💕 #ive been meaning to send you short messages but the internet said no💔😐

[beastthemaestro]

When I get stressed I think about teeth.

So I drew some! But tried to have some fun with them c:

A lots been happening lol Some stuff I don’t feel comfortable posting about. But the most pressing issue is that I have to get tested for covid tomorrow in order to go back to work since I work in childcare. Just the idea of being in an urgent care place rn makes me anxious. Im sure itll be a-okay though lmao, ive got a mask and gloves and everything c:

#art #vent art #my art #teeth #fangs

[potuzzz]

I can’t fucking do this.

I can’t play this game.

I’m so tired.

I can’t do anything I want. I don’t even know what I want.

All I know is that anyone who’s ever given me a reason to smile feels infinitely far away right now, and I’m left with a cold, unforgiving world that values things that I simply cannot give.

I don’t even want to leave the cesspool, because of knowing there are people like me I’d leave behind. Fuck I think I just want to die. I think everybody just has to die. Thank God I believe in the immortal soul and a relatively good afterlife because if I didn’t I don’t know what the despair would do to me.

It’s so ugly. I cannot even look at it.

I was a knight, and I was stripped, and now, I do all the things I scoffed at. All the things I promised myself I would never do.

I’m just sitting here mindlessly fucking around on the same 3 websites, nothing is changing, I’m just melting my brain in hopes that it will dull some of this horrible feeling.

But this visceral feeling is deeper than that. It’s deeper than surface emotions. It’s in my fucking soul. my soul is on fire and thers nothing left on this world to put it out. theres nothing that brings mejoy. i dont care. even if something pops up right now that would make me feel better, it will be fucked. it will all exist for the wrong reasons. i cannot even, for example, hope to meet a random new friend, because i cannot make new friends. it has, tried-and-tested proved to be impossible. im too broken. my mind just doesnt function the same way. if they dont hate and reject me, i will hate and reject them. i will pour everything into a rose colored illusion i project, and be viscerally, cripplingly disappointed when i finally dare to remove the veil.

im slowly accepting the veil. i was told by so many powerful entities that i must not submit to apathy. but im sorry. im too high maintenance. i just cant do it. i cant do anything i promised of me. at least, i sincerely doubt it. i just cant. i cant change the world for better. i can even be nice anymore. i forgot how to be nice, “stop being nice” they said, “ you need ot take care of yourself. you need to fight back against this ugly world.” well now im ugly and i cant go back. i used to be naive and unjustifiably forgiving and cringey and annoying and unhealthily passive and pathetically submissive and i fought those things just to become the thing i hated. and now im turning into a young adult and my formative window is over. i cant change myself. i can only hope to get a fucking aneurysm from the stress of just being sober or of not actively participating in self destructive behavior. im so tired. let me destruct. let me go out in a blaze of glory, an explosion, dont let me die softly with a pathetic whimper before fading nonchalantly into the background, to be easily forgotten. what a curse.

just let me stop working, fuck. either let me be a sheep, a slave, a workhorse, trained to rationalize on my own accord how everythings okay and im the main character and its all gonna be good and cool, but dont fucking put me in this middle ground. dont leave me alone with the darkness and then make me hop back and forth back. this is dehumanizing. this is...this isn’t fair. if they came to hear me beg, they’ll be satisfied. allow me the small dignity. allow me this one fucking thing.

take it out of my hands. put me in a war. a  big one. one where i can pretend that im doing something good, fighting for something bigger than myself. one where i have comraderie with people who i would easily hate in an other siutuiaton. youb know, bdy conditioning class in ghigh school was fucking great for this reason. all these shitty peole who would bully me, who would hold me in the loewst, cruelest form of contept, who would even continue this view of me at the beginning,w e all became equals through the trials of fire. imagine what bonding could be had over death and squallor and rage and intense, immeasurable, uunignorable suffering.

that’s the fuckign problem with the is world . all the suffering is way too damn weasy to ignore. death by a billion paper fcuts. slice me asuner with a fork of lightning, dont give me this undignified death. its cruel, pointlessly cruel. you lose nothing buy giving me somthoing dignified.

i cant even fucking sleep. i cant even have my own self for comfort, me versus the world baby. noep. its dead. i cant even talk to ymself. i cant even look at myself, as if ive done something wrong, when ive literally not done antyhting wrong, buefcause i havent done a fucking thing. i dont areif this is hyperbolic.

im so tired of saying the same words over and over

im so tired of seeing the same 5 different types of peopl,e

im so tired of being disappointed. show me something whimsical. something truly magical. something awe inspiring. terrigying. attack me in my dreams. rip my soul out its soft, comgfy shell, and thrust it into the sky, that visceral discomfort. am ai really a coward beause i didnt go sky diving or something? i dont know. am i ca cowrard because i stopped allowing myself...WHATEVERT THE FUCK WOULD HAPPEN IN MY DREAMS???? I DONT NOW!

blah blah blah wow noah this is going to be so useful in your brand building campaign wow hahaha youre so cool oure going to be famous boy! FAMOUS BOY! youre gong to be big and famous and universally olloved! everyone will be yor friend! eveerything woikll work out in the end. nbody you love will ever die or ever hate you. it all works onut in the end. it all works out in the end.your going to be GFAMOUS DUDE LAOL HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME SMILE!

DUDE, FUCK YOU!

FUCK OFF!

FUCK OFF!

FUCK OFF! FUCKI OFF!

WOW THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT FOR THE ALGORITHYM THIS IS GOING TO LOOK SO GOOD ON THE RATIOS AND THE METRICS AND THE RED LINE GO WEEEEEEEEEEEE EAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY THIS IS GOING TO LOOK SOOOOO GOOOOD ON YOIR PORTFOLIO WHERES YOUR PORTFOLIO CAN YOU LINK EM TO THE SONG DUDE YOU JUST GOT TO LNK ME TO YOUG MUSIC MAN!!!! IM SURE ITLL BE GREAT ILL LOVE IT :) :) :) O))IK

fuck YOU

fuck YOU

WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW LE ME STYA UP ALLLLLL NIGHT

ALLLLL NIGHT BABY THIS PATTY GOES ON ALLLLLLLL NIGHT

CAN I GET AN AMENE LOUDER FOR THE KIDS IN THE BACK

KIDS I N YOUR BACK ITS JUST THE KIDS IN YOUR BACK

YOU LL FEEL HOLY JUST HOLD STILL FOR THE 

ahahhaahhaahahahahahahahahahahhahah

if you’ve killed yourself Your’e a Damn Hero a(TM) and im not nmade at you. not anymore. i used to be, sre, but now i get it. i fuckin get it my guy. how fucking 1st world of me to think you wouldn’t. honestly. its amazing uyou put up with what you did. you’re souch a good musiciain dude. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH an ARTISSSSTTTTEEEEEEE I GOT THE BIG BRAIN BIG THINK TIME MY FEELINGS ARE IMPORTANT IM AN ARTISSSSSTTTTE

dont show your ASS FOR A SECOND OR THEYLL RIP YOU TO SHRED SBOY

just osme advice before the planks fdrtop

yeah just make sure you never do any of tis

dont hsow weakness for even a second

dont beg

dont beg

dont you pathetic loser

just be happy

just make your life happyier

you know

they always this new bullshit ass looking way of things, the whole, “they killed themselves it woas outside of your control there is nothing theyhat you could have done it was doomed from the start they made the decision THEY made the decision

like literally fuck you dude. whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night.

you might just be a grain of sand, but a grain of sand is a lot more than 0/. i get to live every single day with my sin,s, they are variou s and many and oh boy they are GREAT. , if i may do say so myself. but i dont.

pause

more dirnk

*jeopardy song(

All i have is imagined scenarios. All i have is parasocial relationshiops. All i have is people im supposedly super close with that i feel a constant need to hide gfrom.

you don’t know me. and when i let the mask slip for a seocnd you are repulsed. fuck you.

i’d like...i liked to think it was because i was special. because i did omthing outside of the norm, that brought this...new thing that had to be contended with...HAD to be contended with...for the human speices to evolve. i was just a small LEOG brick in the gram dn sceneme of things, sure, but i was an actaual...i was a VESSEL. I was a VEHICLE>. now what am i. nothing. a waste of tiem.e a waste of love and anergy and resources. of hope. how dare you hope for me. you have no idea. luck is in not many people’s favor but i dont even have the money for the lottery tickets. i wouldnt even know how to read the numbers if i wanted to. i’d be too much of a prudish, self-centered, egotistical, unbearably annoying hipster to use the numbers even if i could read them, and i know this to my fucking core. it’s like i’d rather ...

FUCK THIS HALFWAY POINT

THE HALFWAY POINT BETWEEN SLEEPING AND AWAKENING IS HELL

AND I HAVE SETTLED PERMANENTLY ON IT

for why?

SPITE

I SWEAR TO GOD BECAUASE I CAN THINK OF NO OTHER RESOASN.

it doens’t matter.

i have to stop typing and go to bed.

and shut my eyes.

and sit in silence.

alone.

so alone.

and wait for sleep to take me.

and then wake up and flip burgers.

it has to happen. i cant stay up all night. i’ll fucking die tomorrw. i wish i could just stay uo all night.

amyabe i should? like i mean seriously, accelerationist based shit but like, maybe i just need to lose my job just to...rip the bandaid off.

everyone, im sorry if youre reaing this, i;m okay. im just in a rough spot. im sorry, please ignore this. im sorry.

#doubleups

[kl4us4]

SLIGHTLY MAD (young!Klaus Hargreeves, young!Ben Hargreeves)

Request: OOOOHHHH I would kill for some young Klaus being an emotional wreck after the mausoleum incident and young ben comforting and bonding with him! (Or honestly any fic with young Klaus and young Ben bonding💚)

Klaus was too young when he had to begin enduring the screams of the dead. Klaus couldn’t get them out of his head. He can’t do anything without hearing spirits and ghosts calling out to him from beyond the veil.

They want him to find their loved ones, avenge their deaths, keep them company. Klaus can’t handle all of this, he feels himself going mad with every scream and whisper he has to endure.

At night, all he can dream about is being locked away in the mausoleum. The night is pitch black. Klaus lays in his bed alone, covers up to his cheeks in terror of his surroundings.

He can’t see anyone with him but he can feel someone staring at him from the darkest corner of his bedroom.

“Go away.” He mumbles into the darkness, just wanting one moment of peace in his life. Just one. A single moment of silence. “Go away!” He begins to cry, staring into the nothingness.

The tears stain his cheeks, just like they will for the remainder of his nights until he numbs himself enough. “Klaus...”

He covers his ears, though he knows that doesn’t help. It’s as though the sound comes from his own head, not the ghosts he can see. And when they’re desperate - like the dead usually are - it feels as though someone’s banging a hammer against his skull.

“Klaus...”

Klaus, being the young fragile boy he is, shakes in his cold bed at the growing voice.

“Look up,” it tells him, “it’s me, it’s Ben.”

Ben. Klaus’ head snaps up and he eyes the figure in front of him glowing pale blue. “Ben?” Klaus looks at his late brother with shock in his features. He can’t believe he’s seeing him again. “I wish I could have seen you sooner,” Klaus states apologetically.

Ben shrugs, giving his brother a calm smile. “I know why you couldn’t. I understand.” Father always told Klaus to forget about the past, to forget about trying to conjure Ben.

Klaus smiles back at him, already feeling better than he did two minutes ago. Something about Ben is comforting and calming. “Why are you here?” Klaus wonders curiously, sitting up and crossing his legs.

“I saw you were having a bad night, Klaus.” Ben admits, eyeing Klaus with a sad expression, “I watch over everyone since I left and you were crying, I saw.”

“No, I wasn’t.” Klaus frowns, childishly defensive.

“It’s okay, even Luther cries sometimes.” Ben reassures him, making Klaus feel better about his wild emotions, “And we all know Father thinks he’s the strongest.”

Klaus smirks, “Father still doesn’t know about when Luther wet his bed!”

Ben laughs out loud, “I know right! That was the best morning ever.”

Klaus and Ben laugh together, smiling at one another as they impersonate Luther rushing to put his blankets in the laundry and shouting for Mom to keep Father busy.

But then the laughter dies down. Klaus looks at his brother for the first time in a long time. And he lets out a sad sigh. “I’m still here, Klaus.” Ben assures his brother, giving him a kind smile, “Anytime you need me.”

Klaus was going to regret this moment in a few years to come when he begins to get tired of Ben being right all the time. But at the moment, he really needed his brother. “Will you stay? I want to be able to see you all the time. Then I won’t be alone.” Klaus asks him, his eyes wide as he awaits his reply.

“Of course, Klaus. It’ll be fun!” Ben nods, “We can make fun of Luther and Diego without them knowing.” Klaus giggles again, feeling tired all at once like little kids do. “You better sleep now though,” Ben advises him, “you can’t be off your game for training tomorrow.”

“Will you be there?” Klaus asks, laying back in his warm bed.

“Always.” Ben replies.

#the umbrella academy oneshot #umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy imagine #umbrella academy imagines #the umbrella academy oneshots #the umbrella academy imagines #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #the seance #the horror #umbrella academy klaus #umbrella academy ben

[ridiculousravenclaw]

The Life of Elara Ware

This is a Harry Potter fanfic. Main character Elara is an original character by moi and is George Weasleys gf they started dating in 5th year. she's half blood hens the mention of muggle technology before anyone asks. And it's set during the GOF. I've never written anything like this before either so be nice.

Chapter 1

Elara couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She read the note again, unable to hide her relief at the sight of the familiar untidy scrawl. 'Elara its okay we're good. please dont worry. oh and Mom says you can still come. You'll have to share with Ginny and Hermione though. sorry we're a busy house at the moment. but seriously don't worry. None of us got hurt. A bit shaken up but we're fine. Dads been thrown into it at work though sorting it all. I've never seen him look so tired. and mums been really nice to us since we got back. Gotta say I dont know what's more annoying. The way she keeps fussing like we're about to drop dead any minute. I think I preferred her nagging. it wont last long. All it'd take is one glimpse of a joke wand or ton tongue toffee and she'll be back to her normal screaming self. Speaking of which, you wait till I show you what we've done. Think instant. projectile. vomit! genius huh? Anyway I'll see you really soon. Love your favourite red headed knight in shining armour.'

She rolled her eyes. George was many things but a knight in shining armour was pushing it.

Collapsing back onto her bed Elara felt the tension seeping off her shoulders. Ever since the news had broken the previous day about the attack at the quidditch world cup she'd been going out of her mind with worry. No matter how many times she tried she hadn't heard a thing let alone any news on the Weasleys. Until now. She closed her eyes and pushed away the dreadful images that'd been swirling in her mind. Each scenario more terrible than the last. Its okay. They're okay. You'll see them really soon. With that final reassuring thought she sat up and made her way downstairs.

The house was silent, which was to be expected. Her parents were working so she was home alone again. She didn't mind. After all these years she was used to it. Used to the last minute I've got to gos and sorry I'm going to be home lates. They weren't to blame, such was the nature of their jobs. Elara looked around the spacious hallway. The mid afternoon sun shone through the glass door at the end of the hall and lit up the stairwell. Its beams reflecting off the crystals of the chandelier. Her parents had worked hard to pay for all this and they did it all for her. She knew better than to be ungrateful for a few lonely evenings here and there. She glanced across at the clock. 4:30. She was unsure when to expect her mother but Elara knew her dad wouldn't be home anytime soon. She looked at the letter again still clutched tightly in her hands. It was no surprise Mr Weasley had been called in. From what her father had told her the ministry was trying to get every available person in to figure out who was responsible for the disaster at the world cup. As an experienced member of the department of international magical cooperation; Hamlin Ware had been one of the first called on the scene and he hadn't been home since. This told Elara one thing. The ministry of magic didn't have a clue who was behind it or why they attacked.

4:40. It hadn't occurred to her that she'd been stood on the second to last step for 10 whole minutes lost in thought. "get a grip" she muttered to herself under her breathe as she walked towards the kitchen. She was staring at the cupboards trying to decide if she was hungry enough to start cooking dinner when the phone rang.

"Hey honey. how are you doing?" Her mother sounded exhausted on the end of the line.

"yeah I'm good. I've finally heard from George. He's okay. they're all okay."

"well thank heavens for that!" she said. Elara heard her mothers exhale of relief. "yeah I know. He said I'm still okay to stay there for the last few days of the holidays"

"see? we said he'd be alright didn't we? oh and I really don't want to impose on their family, especially after this, but... oh thank the lord for Molly Weasley. Yes. If shes truly okay with that then great. It'd be a massive help. Look I'm sorry my lovely but Adrian's sons not well again. poor lad. hes had to take extended leave to look after him. I mean, why the mother can't look after her own boy now and again is beyond me but, hey, that's none of my business i suppose. And Veronica's being her usual, I'm too important to do any work, self. Oh you should have seen her earlier. 'oh look at me in my brand new Porsche'. its orange! and not a nice orange like a sunset or something. no, like fake tan gone wrong, that's what it looks like. Uh. Anyway. Breathe Mary-Anne. The point is I'm the only other translator in the office that speaks fluent enough Polish for the conference next week. I'm sorry darling that's 2 weeks in London"

Elara could feel her mothers guilt almost radiating through the speaker.

"it's okay mum. really I understand. i dont mind. I'll go to the Weasleys and they can take me to kings cross itll be fine."

"oh my girl what did I do to deserve you?"

"hmm, not sure. but it must've been good. maybe you saved a village from plague in a past life"

Her mother chuckled. Then she grew silent. After a moment she said

"I'm probably going to be late tonight too"

there was no hiding the hint of sadness in her voice.

"I know" Elara said "it's okay. theres some leftovers hiding in this kitchen somewhere and they've got my name on them."

"Larie"

"Mum. stop. it's fine. look I'm going to have some food. have a shower. then have an early night. honestly you're not missing out on much. I'll see you tomorrow. okay?"

"okay. oh Larie I love you. more than anything in this world.

"love you too mum"

"oh and remember to check the doors locked properly and..."

"and check the security systems running. I know mum I've got it"

"you checked your trunk? you're starting your newts this year. Can't be leaving anything important behind."

"yes I've checked it. I've got everything packed dont worry."

Her mother sighed. "okay. see you later."

"bye"

Elara couldn't help but roll her eyes everytime. but still she compulsively checked the front and back door locks and the flashing screen of the home security system. Online. She knew it would be. But from a young age her mum instilled this pattern. "you must be safe Elara." she'd said. "always be safe" The overprotective persistence of her mother used to annoy her as a child. But now Elara found comfort in the metaphorical safety net her mother cast for her. It let her know that she was loved.

Making her way back to the kitchen she pushed the days worries from her mind. It looked like another evening of peaceful me time she thought. and she was going to see George soon. She smiled to herself. She had missed that cheeky grin.

#harry potter #hogwarts #fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #george weasley #georgeweasleysgf #gryffindor #slytherin #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #goblet of fire #quidditch #quidditch world cup #death eaters #the weasleys