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the-lone-witch-and-secret-room · 3 years

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The Owl House and pacing, a perspective from a fanfic writer that works with a large cast

I’ve seen a bunch of complains about the way The Owl House is paced lately. People claiming that it’s bad writing, and rushed, and whatnot. But from how I see it, you’re complaining for all the wrong reasons, and to the wrong people.

TL;DR: this is an overlaying issue with Disney and the industry that doesn’t allow long shows anymore, essentially forcing writers to pick between good pacing and complex stories being told with large casts.

For context: the fandom I wrote for before I got into The Owl House had a pretty small main cast. There were a few reoccurring characters, but most of them only showed up like five total times over the course of four seasons or had little personality, so my main cast I was writing about always consisted of my main five characters, with occasional cameos here and there. All characters were living together and experienced the adventure from the same perspective. There was one overarching storyline and not multiple. The interpersonal relationships still varied, though, for obvious reasons.

Now think about how large The Owl House cast is, and why that’d send them running into issues. Or don’t, because I have a whole-ass in depth analysis under the cut because this got unreasonably long.

(Also I’d appreciate a reblog, I spent… an unreasonable amount of time on this, lol)

The Owl House is different. There’s the main characters: Luz, Eda, King, maybe Hooty, technically (someone recently pointed out that he’s technically the titular character of the show and I’m still processing that, lol).

But they also have a HUGE additional cast to work with. There’s Lilith, Eda’s sister, and the main antagonist of season one, who has a lot to her character and gets a ton of screen time. There’s Amity, and there’s Willow and Gus, Luz’s friends. They’re all very fleshed out characters, and got a bunch of screen time and development, despite “only” being reoccurring characters and not the main characters.

Then there’s characters that have played a fairly minor role so far. There’s Belos, the big bad villain, who we will likely learn a lot more about this season. There’s the Golden Guard, the new main antagonist our cast deals with personally, who we’re just starting to learn more about. There’s Camila, Luz’s mom, who, despite only showing up a couple of times in the show so far, is very relevant to Luz and how the plot will ultimately turn out. There’s Edric and Emira, Amity’s siblings, who despite only showing up a few times as well seem to have a very worked out personality and background and also have a story that is (at least to some extent) going to be told according to the AMA.

There is at least one more seemingly important character whose role in the bigger story is hard to tell at this point, Raine, but according to the description of the episode, they’re probably going to influence the story a bunch.

There’s Alador and Odalia, who are responsible for a lot of their children’s toxic behaviors, and seem to have bigger plans that will probably be relevant later on.

The characters that are only focused on for an episode or two (like Matt and the troublemaker kids) all have very worked out personalities and even short arcs.

And heck, even characters like Boscha, who is extremely minor and seems like a very one-dimensional bully for the most part, get their moments that hint at there being more to them. We know Boscha has a clingy mom, that apparently has a rivalry with Odalia and works with Amity’s parents. The scene at the beginning of Wing It Like Witches tells us a lot about her general mindset and how she’s embraced that winning at whatever cost is the only thing that matters.

This leaves us with: 3-4 main characters

3 friends with fleshed out stories

Lilith, who is probably the most relevant aside from the main cast

Belos, the main antagonist, and the Golden Guard, currently starting to become a lot more relevant

A whole handful of minor reoccurring characters that have the potential to become bigger characters at any point in time

A handful of minor reoccurring characters that mainly seem to be there to further the story, but still get to have distinctive personalities and motivations (looking p.e. at the troublemaker kids)

That is AT LEAST 9 pretty major, relevant characters whose stories have to be tackled in the same show, in addition to the people that joined in season two and a huge supporting cast of well-developed characters that clearly also have stories of their own, even if not all of them will get told.

On top of that, the Owl House lives from exploring different relationships and different storylines. There’s the overarching story of how flawed the system is that will likely end with them overthrowing Belos, but there’s so much more.

Eda and the curse. Eda becoming a better mentor for Luz. Eda coming to terms with the loss of her magic.

Luz learning to cast magic with glyphs. Making friends for the first time. Slowly falling in love with Amity. Fighting to be able to learn whatever kind of magic she wants to. Learning that she’s not a burden to people. Struggling with her relationship with her mom, and trying to restore the portal so she can get back to her. Figuring out her future and what she really wants.

Lilith trying to cure Eda, and now in season two coming to terms with the loss of her magic and fixing her relationship with her sister. Lilith learning to ask for help.

Willow switching tracks. Willow growing more confident.

Amity becoming a better person, fixing her relationship with Willow, standing up to her parents, falling in love with Luz. Starting to fix her relationship with her siblings.

King finding out where he came from.

Hints at Gus struggling with decision making and stressing himself out less. Gus learning to be more selfless. Struggling with his magic track and being the youngest in his grade.

The newly introduced plot point with the Golden Guard. The plot point about the rebellion that will get introduced next episode.

The mystery with the letters.

And I’m like 90% sure I’ve forgotten something.

That is… a lot of different plots and relationships that are in some way important to the story.

In comparison, as stated, the last show I wrote for focused mostly on the same five characters and their relationships with each other, and one overarching plotline aside from some minor interpersonal relationships with two people’s family members that weren’t even introduced for several seasons. The first season fully focused on establishing the bond within this found family with exactly 1 important reoccurring character, an antagonist that had little personality and got a total of one line of backstory before he died.

If you have 90% of a season to develop 5 characters who live together, that’s a lot easier to do than developing twice the amount of important characters + introducing reoccurring characters season one of The Owl House has—the majority of which have separate lives and do not live together and thus can’t be focused on at the same time.

I’ve seen a bunch of people complain recently that the pacing of The Owl House is off, that the writing is bad, that the show is rushed, etc. etc.

And I get those complains. Believe me, as a viewer and also as an author that takes a lot of time to develop each character and their issues individually, I 100% get it.

But as an author that’s currently learning how hard it is to tackle a cast of the size that The Owl House has, I’ve also come to a whole different understanding from the perspective of the writers on the show.

For context, Locked Out focuses on a couple of serious themes, in the same way that the show does. It has 4 main plotlines: Amity Camila and Luz, Edric and Emira, Eda and Lilith, Willow and the Grudgby Squad (as well as a Gus arc that ties into the last one while also being its own thing, we’re getting to that part). So far, it prominently features: Luz, Amity, Camila, Eda, Emira, Edric, Willow and Gus, and to a lesser extent King, Lilith and Boscha, Skara and Amelia in relation to the separate plots.

That’s eight main characters across five different households. And then there’s the reoccurring characters that will have a larger role later on that I’ve not even had the opportunity to bring into the story yet/feature in a more prominent way. The cast is still growing.

And heck, I have all the time in the world to write this thing, because I don’t have an episode limit, or a deadline, or a limited amount of money to produce it.

For Locked Out, it took me 120k to get through a single week of plot at a very high level of character development, with about as many important characters as TOH has in season 1, and with an equally high number of reoccurring characters, some minor, some major. I think you can compare it to the show pretty well. I’d say, if I were to split Locked Out into episodes, I’d set one episode at about 10k. That would be 12 episodes. 12 episodes to get through a single week. Heck, even if I said 20k words were to be one episode, which I’m pretty sure is too much realistically, that would still be 6 episodes for one week.

And TOH covers more than three months.

That would be at least 72 total episodes to get through the three months of summer camp. And we’re currently progressing past that point.

72 episodes.

Let that sit for a while o.o

Everything that’s happened in season one (which as we know now was about 2 months) would have happened in 48 episodes rather than 19. Pacing-wise, everything would happen at less than 0.5x the speed. The first four episodes of season two would’ve been 24 episodes, assuming we hadn’t skipped a week and a half and had instead shown the immediate aftermath of the petrification ceremony, too.

And I’d love if we could have that, and if we could actually develop the characters and their relationships that thoroughly.

But the sad fact is that shows like The Owl House do not get the amount of episodes that would be required to develop every single aspect of the show to its fullest potential. Disney rarely greenlits shows of 150 episodes anymore. They used to, once, (Phineas&Ferb for example had 130+ episodes—you could tell one hell of a story in that many episodes), but that’s not a thing anymore. And the writers know that going into a show. They know the chances their story will be told in that way are very low.

And thus, the writers, especially ones working with large casts, have to make a choice: cut characters they love, and plots that are important to them, because they know they won’t get the amount of episodes required to do everything perfectly, OR include most of what they want to do, but at the cost of the pacing being off and everything seemingly happening too fast.

The Owl House crew went with the second option. The biggest issue the show has isn’t bad writing. The show’s biggest issue is that its cast and the story the crew members want to tell are too big for the amount of episodes they’ve been given (especially now that Disney decided to cut season 3 down into just three 44 minute specials).

And that’s on Disney, and Disney alone.

The crew is making the most of the amount of episodes they have, and unfortunately the lack of time forces them to rush things, and to sometimes sideline characters to focus on others.

Lilith got a bunch of screen time in the first four episodes. I’m sad to see her go, but she’s basically guaranteed to be back by season 2B. And there’s other people that have gotten way less focus than her so far. We‘ve seen basically nothing of Willow and Gus for the first few episodes, and I’m super happy Gus finally got some focus! We haven’t been inside Hexside all season except to see Luz expelled! And episode seven is even going to introduce a new character. Sometimes there’s parts of the story that certain characters don’t have a place in. And it sucks if they’re characters you like. But Lilith has to go for a bit so other characters can get the same amount of spotlight she did. At the end of the day, Lilith is not part of the main cast. She’s a very important reoccurring character, yes, but so are Amity, Willow and Gus. The main characters are Eda, Luz and King, and they’re the only ones that will always be around. And heck, even Eda got sidelined for a bit in the last two episodes, because we needed to focus on other characters. If not even the main characters are always around because we need some spotlight time for other characters, you can’t expect any more minor reoccurring cast member to be.

God, I wish they’d be given more time and more episodes to bring every part of the plot to its full potential, but they don’t have those, so they sometimes have to take shortcuts that unfortunately cheapen the story here and there. It’s the only way they can hope to tell their story to the end at all. And that makes me hella sad because it’s so obvious that they have an incredible story to tell, and that there’s so much more to so many of the characters we just don’t have the time to focus on.

The thing is: I liked the episode with Gwendolyn. It sends an important message that will hopefully get some parents who watch with their children thinking, and I’ve seen a couple of people talk about how close to home it hit for them. I have also seen a couple of people complain about that being too fast—and also just in general about things in the show getting sorted out too fast. And I get it. At least with this particular episode, I 100% get it.

(I’ve also seen some people complain that “Amity stood up to her parents too fast in Escaping Expulsion”, but I vehemently disagree with that. We’ve been building towards that moment since season one, with her doing more and more things that were technically defying her parents. I don’t see how this was rushed.)

Just… please don’t blame the writers. Dana even said that Keeping Up A-Fearances is one of the episodes that hit very close to home for her in the recent stream iirc? So I highly doubt this was rushed on purpose, or because the whole thing is “bad writing” when the entire writing quality of the show says otherwise.

A lot of shows in general have the issue that they have to be written season by season rather than as a full story these days, because there’s always a chance that they won’t get a next season. How large scale the story they want to tell actually is doesn’t matter if there’s a solid chance they won’t get to do any of it.

From a viewer perspective, I get being frustrated at the pacing being off. But from a writer perspective, the chances are very high that this is a choice they had to make, rather than one they wanted to make. And I don’t think you can truly see this if you’ve never worked with a fleshed out cast that large—Locked Out was really eye-opening for me in that regard.

This isn’t simply a case of bad writing/bad pacing by choice. It’s forced. They’re forced to rush through their plots because otherwise they won’t get the chance to tell certain parts of the story at all. And the saddest thing about this is really that those 72+ episodes to flesh out these plot points further wouldn’t have been an impossible thing to get, at a time.

Go for Disney’s head. Yell at the industry for being what it is today, for constantly axing shows before even giving them a real chance. But this isn’t on the crew.

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hopelesshawks · 3 years

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Official Accounts Part 13- Confession

Summary: (y/n) was perfectly happy remaining anonymous, even if her best friends were all pro heroes and she worked under THE Hawks. Handling the technical aspects of hero work from the background suited her just fine, thank you very much. That goes out the window when suddenly her twitter blows up thanks Denki and the famed no. 2 hero is asking her to run his own official twitter as a result

If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa

Masterlist

Hawks was not prepared for you to walk out of the employee bathrooms looking as good as you did when he finally returned to the agency to hand the reigns over to Endeavor for the night. He had really been hoping to wait to call in the favor Endeavor owed him for covering his patrols, but the more time Hawks spent with you the more he needed answers. It was growing harder and harder to deny the way looking at you made his heart race. The way part of him wanted nothing more than to make you laugh even when he was trying to ascertain what you were up to. And the way his heart stopped when you walked out of that employee bathroom, Mina quickly rushing out behind you and giving you a thumbs up and a wink before departing, only further confirmed that he desperately needed to know what your intentions were.

“Ready to go, Kid?” he asks as he extends an arm to you. “Ready,” you said as you exhaled shakily in hopes of clearing your nerves. You linked your arm in his and with all the charm you had come to expect from the number two hero he guided you out of the office and onto the busy streets of the city. You would die before admitting it, but looking at Hawks under the glow of the city lights made him look ethereal. So much so you could hardly pull your eyes away. The two of you were talking of that you were sure, and you assume you were giving intelligible responses, but in all honesty if asked to recount the conversation you wouldn’t be able to. You were too caught up in the wonder that Hawks had chosen you of all people.

Eventually the smell of food brings you back to Earth as you realize Hawks has brought you to a tiny hole in the wall restaurant on the other side of town. Hardly anyone else is inside, all the big crowds are deeper into the city, but something about the quiet atmosphere is refreshing after the noise of all the bustling crowds. “Hawks!” The owner calls out cheerfully as he makes his way around to the two of you. “Glad you finally made it. I’ve got a special table reserved for you out back,” the owner grins. “Ah you really do spoil me. Lead the way,” Hawks laughs as the owner does just that.

You’re guided to the back and out the door only to find an entirely separate seating area, deserted. Fairy lights provide the main source of light, giving the whole thing a dream-like quality. When the owner departs after seating the two of you, you and Hawks are left alone in the romantic atmosphere and you can’t help but feel nervous. Yet one look across the table at your date for the evening, especially when he flashes That Grin(tm) at you, eases your mind almost immediately.

The night feels nothing short of magical as the two of you laugh over drinks and the best ramen you’ve ever had in your life but as the food and alcohol settle in your stomach the conversation turns to deeper topics. “Can I ask you a potentially personal question?” Hawks asks. “Sure,” you shrug as you take another sip of your drink. “Is it weird having all your friends be pro heroes? You didn’t ever think about joining in yourself?” he asks. “You’re asking ‘cause of how I reacted to Chargebolt after that one patrol right?” you ask. He’s not. He asking to determine your possible motives. But he can’t say that, so instead he shoots you a sheepish grin and rubs the back of his neck as he lies “that obvious, huh?” “It’s a fair question and you’re not the first to ask,” you laugh. “It’s kind of a heavy story though, I don’t wanna bring down the mood,” you admit, looking away from the gorgeous, curious man across from you.

Suddenly you feel a gentle hand on your chin turning your head to make you look him in his eyes again. “You could never, Kid,” he assures you with as much faux sincerity as his brain can muster even if his heart is pleading with him to be genuine. You gulp and in that moment Hawks thinks he’s finally caught you.

“My mom was a pro hero. She didn’t break top 10 or anything but growing up she was Denki and I’s idol. I’m pretty sure she’s the reason he wanted to become a pro hero so bad in the first place. For a little while I wanted to be one too,” you begin. This was it. Hawks was sure of it. Any moment now you’d confirm your resentment that you never lived up to your mother and it would explain your rage and the training and your fascination with him and- “She uhm, she died in a villain attack when I was in middle school. Things just weren’t the same after that so I abandoned the idea of being a pro hero,” you confessed.

Oh...

Oh that was not what Hawks was expecting at all.

“When I found out Denki still wanted to be one I stopped talking to him for like a month. I forgave him eventually, obviously, but uh I refused to get back on the hero path. I knew too well the constant stress and pressure my mom was under and in the end all it did was encourage her to push too far and get herself killed. I know UA’s general studies course has a reputation of being for the hero course rejects but I only went to UA to keep an eye on Denki. If I couldn’t stop him from becoming a hero then at least I could make sure he didn’t push himself too far, y’know? Then I re-did the computer system and administration insisted I swap over to hero support. Eventually I realized that if it weren’t for my mom a lot more people would’ve died and while it sucks she had to make that sacrifice I know she’d do it again in a heartbeat. Even scarier Denki and Katsuki and Mina and Hitoshi and Eiji would all do it too. So while I can’t bring myself to become a pro hero myself, at the very least I can do my best to make sure the heroes get home safe.”

You’re not sure when exactly during your story you had begun crying but you swipe at your eyes to wipe the tears away now. You bring your gaze back to Hawks’ and open your mouth to apologize for ruining the mood but are instead surprised by the feeling of his lips on yours. There’s a split second of shock where you do nothing, but the moment it passes you return his kiss eagerly.

You are perfect. Every fiber of Hawks’ being screams that you are perfect. If anyone could possibly hope to understand him, his heart and his gut and now finally his head tell him it’s you. And with that realization comes an overwhelming amount of guilt. He had treated you like a villain when all you had done was be good to him and all those around you. He wants to apologize. God, how he wants to apologize. But that would require admitting he’d treated you with suspicion, that this “date” had been a ruse. So he says nothing, and he kisses you with passion and heartache and guilt and understanding and something that feels suspiciously like love. He kisses you with every single emotion that is coursing through him and hopes that will be enough.

Author’s Note: I feel like Hawks is the type who falls fast and hard once he lets himself fall. Writing this chapter was ROUGH. Hawks and (y/n) are in such wildly different places emotionally from start to finish. I’ve been trying to minimize the amount of written portions because it feels a bit like a betrayal of the smau format (and I like the challenge of restricting it) but there’s some stuff coming up down the line that just wouldn’t be discussed over text so there will probably be more soon. This was another monster chapter but we’re really getting into the thick of the story now so I’m not shocked

Taglist [open]: @cathy8taffy @katzurras @grumpyfroggies @captaincyberqueen @itskindofafairything @420-uwu

#hopelessoa #hawks #hawks x reader #wing hero hawks #hawks x y/n

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skzlog · 4 years

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undercover

changbin x female reader, lots of plot (angst,fluff) with smut at the end!

1.8 words

“Just go.. if that’s what you want, then go” You wiped the stray tear that left your eye with the back of your hand, watching as Changbin carelessly rolled your eyes.

“You know Y/N… you said you wanted this more than I did. I’m doing this for you, not me” and before you knew it, you were met with a closed door and a broken heart. He left you.

Training as a police officer wasn’t easy. You and Changbin met during the first week, throwing endless punches at each other.

“The person in front of you is the criminal, one on one, tackle them down” The advisor told you all.

Changbin was already giving you that signature smirk of his as if he knew you were going to lose already. He was buff, his arms popping off the sleeves of the small trainee polo. You could see his figure through the material and knew he was hiding something good underneath.

Rolling your eyes, you walking towards Changbin. “Fine, you win,” you tell him, putting your hands up in surrender.

With a scoff, Changbin can’t believe how quick you were to give up. “Seriously? Your suspect could be twice the size of me and you’d give up so easily?”

When you’re a few centimeters away from Changbin he expects a response, but you’re quick to hit him in the right places and knock him off his senses. Sadly for you, Changbin knows better. He grabs your legs and tackles you down, pinning you against the floor.

With his body on top of yours, you let out a small submissive whine- loud enough for him to catch it. “No.. I’ll only give up easily when I’m under you like this… but you are my suspect” You smile, turning him around so that you’re straddling his waist.

You turn him around, your knee on his back as your hands softly wrap around his wrists. “In 20 seconds, good job Y/N,” Your advisor tells you.

Changbin lets out a small scoff before his face could meet the floor. Letting your lips brush on his ear, you whisper a quick “Meet me in 20... my dorm” watching as a smile grows on his face.

But now you’re here, 2 months into training. You had just discovered that Changbin wasn’t new to this like you. He had been an undercover trainee, asked to investigate. You feel lied to, betrayed, but you can’t help it. He had finished his mission and he had the choice to stay or go- and if he had his pick he’d choose to stay because he had fallen head over heels for you.

In every case, every situation, you felt yourself falling into Changbin’s hands like putty. You two stayed together every second and every hour of each day. You couldn’t get your hands off each other and every other trainee made fun of the obvious sexual tension between you two.

“We been knew Y/N, you and Changbin are obviously fucking each other” Your friends would joke as you nervously scratched the back of your neck, “Is it that obvious?” You laughed in response.

Changbin would’ve stayed because of you but you couldn’t hold that against him. You asked him to go. Do something better than pretend to be a trainee. Now that you realized the weight of your careless words, those same friends that once made fun of you also had your back when you cried over him.

“Y/N, are you seriously going to drunk dial him again?!”

“He hasn’t picked up all day!!” You respond, dialing him number but putting the phone down again.

“You need to call him, sort this all out” You friend says before picking up the phone and pressing the call button.

“What?! What did you do?” You exclaim before you could hear a voice from the other end. “Hello.. Y/N? Is that you..?”

Your friends gesture at you to respond before you hear another voice… a woman’s voice. “Changbin… hey we should get going” and your finger meets the end call button.

“That was another woman.. he’s gotten over me” You gasp before your friends could reassure you.

“Oh come on Y/N, that could be anybody, that could even be his mom for Pete’s sake”

“That didn’t sound like his mom” You cried out before taking your bottle and finishing it.

“Screw this man,” Your friend said as she pulled out the last bottle from the box. “Should we go party it up or something?”

“The governor’s candidate nomination party is happening tonight, I heard it’s big and all trainees are invited”

The four of you guys stare at each other with a suspiciously look on your face before your friend could pull out a stash of dresses, “Get suited princesses, we’re going to the nomination party”

When the four of you arrive, you all take a second to admire the beauty of the building. The mansion house was so big you could get lost in it and every wall had its own story to tell.

“I got the drinks,” You tell your friends.

“I got jackets” You hand over your jacket before splitting off, walking through the tons of people in suits and pretty gala dresses. You looked around for the bar before you could bump into someone.

“Oops, sorry about that!” The lady apologizes before her eyes could meet yours, “Y/N?!”

“No way! You’re the advisor from when I first became a trainee.. how are you?”

She laughs at the memories from 2 months ago, “I’m alright, just here with my boyfriend to celebrate the nomination… you?”

“Ahh, here for the drinks.” You joke.

“Right, all trainees are invited. Good that you take advantage of it, I believe the bar is on the room to your left”

After a few drinks, you find yourself thinking about Changbin again. Who was that woman? And where were they going?

You thumb lingers around the call button and you decide to go through with it. Pressing the phone against your ear, you hear a phone ringing nearby. No way... is he here?

You turn corner by corner, following the sound of the phone ringing before you see Changbin looking at his phone. Your heart drops immediately when he looks up and makes eye contact with you. He’s with the same advisor you just spoke to… she called him her.. boyfriend.

“Y/N, is that you?” Your fist clenches and you turn around trying to find the nearest bathroom. The last thing you want to do is make a scene at a party.

Finding a bathroom nearby, you’re about to close the door before Changbin could catch it.

“Y/N, hear me out... I’m undercover right now you seriously cannot-”

“Forget it Changbin, you’re always undercover.. you’re always hiding something from me”

You leave the door to step inside the bathroom and Changbin joins you, closing the door behind him.

“You seriously can’t be making me the bad guy right now, you’re the one that asked me to leave Y/N”

“Leave! As in get as far away from me as possible!”

“Y/N… how can I get as far away from you as possible...” Changbin asks, stepping closer to you. You flinch when your back meets the wall, your throat stuck as the current situation.”...you don’t even know what to do with me when I’m two feet away”

You lick your lips before grabbing onto his tie and pull him closer. Suddenly you can’t let go, you missed him so much that you’d do anything to be as close to him as possible. Adrenaline runs through you as he presses his lips against yours. Your fingers are tying knots in his blonde locks as he closes you against the bathroom wall.

“You missed me this much..?” He whispers in a raspy voice, his ego growing as you submit so easily to his touch.

His lips attack your neck, leaving reds and blues before your hands could fiddle with the buttons of his suit. “Mmm.. I missed you so much” You mumble in pleasure.

Changbin’s hands grab your ass as you pull down his shirt and your dress is off. “How much did you miss me?” He asks as he wraps your legs around his torso. He lies you down on the bathroom counter before kissing down your body, you can’t help but the squirm under him as his kisses become more passionate.

“So, so much” You moan as his lips met your clothed core. “I wanna hear it baby,” He says as he pulls down your underwear.

“I want you so badly Seo Changbin” You repeat over and over again as he licks over your folds.

When he pulls away from you, you let out a loud whine. “My little princess…” He whispers, a hand running down your cheek. You fall into his touch, getting off of the counter.

“Let me do the work for you” You respond as you remove his belt, pulling down the zipper. Your chests meet as you pump his member, prepping him with his precum before he could grow impatient.

“A little too slow there darling,” He says before he could grab your hips and thrust into you. Your head falls into his shoulder as he continues his movements. Your body is closed between the counter and Changbin’s body. “C-changbin” His name passes your lips like a mantra, tears leaving your eyes as his tip hits your sweet spot over and over again.

Hugging his torso, you let him use you however he liked. He pressed little kisses here and there when your chests met over and over again to make the moment a little more intimate before you could feel your high coming.

“I’m close” You mumble into his neck as you feel the knot in your stomach loosening. “Me too baby, just hold on for a second” He replies as he hits you from a different angle.

A deep moan leaves your lips when you clench around him. “So fucking tight” He grunts as he feels his high coming.

Your lips meet Changbin’s, your nails digging into his back when you cum around his cock. He doesn’t stop though, he continues until he reaches his own orgasm, his cum filling you up till the brim and he’s quick to catch himself before he could fall on top of you.

“God, that felt so good” You whisper into his ear.

“I agree…”

“But don’t you have a job to get to?” You remind him in the midst of your pants.

“Oh shit, you’re right… but you’re much more important right now” He smiles before pecking your lips.

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ofstoriesandstardust · 3 years

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The 5 Times Luther Thinks He’s in Love With You (and the one time he actually does something about it)

A/N: I’ve never written for Luther before but I am full on simping for this man. I know he’s kinda hated in the fandom so we’ll see if this fares better then my Diego piece. No, I still haven’t finished season 2 yet. If I were to spend as much time watching TUA as I did reading and writing fan fiction about it, I would’ve finished weeks ago. This might be super out of character for Luther so hopefully this doesn’t suck. It also ended up being way longer then I had intended and is officially the longest thing I’ve ever written. I think it starts out mediocre and ends strong so there’s that.

masterlist | prompt list

warnings: takes place post-season 2 but my own version again, Ben came back to life again because I said so, my trauma, canon childhood abuse, trauma, and reference to drugs, swearing,

word count: 6,438

i. the time you treat his siblings like your own

The first time Luther thinks he might be in love with you is the day Klaus gets out of rehab...again. Over the last year, the Hargreeves clan has worked hard to get Klaus clean and sober, and Ben coming back to life was a big push for Klaus to get help. Unfortunately, it’s been more downs than it had been ups. As a survivor of childhood abuse yourself, you had told Luther it would take time for the mental scars their father left behind to heal and Klaus was no exception. Still, Luther had thought the process would go a little bit smoother than it had, and it killed him to watch his brother relapse again and again, and the toll it took on Diego and Ben every time he did. However, they thought this time might be different. Klaus had made a lot of progress during this last stint in rehab, progress he hadn’t made before. You coming into the Hargreeves family and becoming a rock to the siblings had brought a lot unexpected comfort to Klaus, that someone outside the family cared for him and his well-being. It had been a push he needed, and you really believed he’d stay clean this time.

Diego and Ben had volunteered to pick the seance up from rehab, with the other siblings arriving at your apartment to create some sort of semblance of a ‘welcome home’ party. You had volunteered to watch Klaus the next few weeks, knowing the Academy was no place for him to be. How could he stay sober living on the streets or at the home of all his abuse? And seeing as you didn’t drink, there was no alcohol for Klaus to even access if he wanted to. Luther had been adamant you didn’t need to go out of your way to make a space for Klaus but you had over ruled him with the support of Ben and Diego and the decision was made whether Luther liked it or not.

Over the course of the last year or so, you had sort of tumbled into his life, crashing straight into Luther one morning as he was leaving Griddy’s. It had snowed the night before, and the street was icy, and the next thing he knew, someone had walked straight into his large frame and was tumbling towards the ground. Luther reached out, large hands wrapping around your much smaller frame, and hoisting you back up before you could hit the ground. He awkwardly cleared his throat and put you back down on the ground. “Sorry about that.” He mumbled, overwhelmed by the fact that he had stupidly almost sent the pretty girl crash-landing to the ground.

“It was my fault, really. Shoulda been looking were I was going.” You said. Fate, however had other plans, when Ben came along the road. You turned to greet him, and his eyes drifted from you to Luther. He stopped next to you and a shit-eating smirk grew on his face. “Well, (Y/N), it looks like you’ve met my brother Luther. Luther, this is my co-worker (Y/N).” Luther had a moment of realization, understanding he had knocked into Ben’s favorite co-worker at the bookstore/cafe he talked so much about. Ben invited Luther back inside to Griddy’s as the two of you got breakfast before your shift and Luther agreed, not having a much better plan. Allison was in Manhattan with Vanya, Klaus was doing a stint in rehab, Diego was working at the gym, and Five was off god-knows-where doing god-knows-what. The breakfast was quite enjoyable, Luther observing your comfortable energy and your kind nature. You had offered your number to Luther before parting with Ben, in case “he ever needed a friend”. It wasn’t long after that, that the family had had a tumble towards rock-bottom as Klaus got out of rehab, immediately seeking the nearest drug he could get his hands on. Ben had asked you to come over and the support you offered the family through your experiences with an alcoholic mother and comfort had irrevocably changed your position and meaning to the family and to Luther. While Luther had always felt you were closest to him, the closest thing he had to a best friend, he couldn’t unsee the way you joked with Klaus, the support you offered Diego, the witty banter you’d exchange with Five, the conversations you’d have with Allison, the encouragement you offered Vanya, and the normalcy you brought Ben. He always thought that you liked them a little bit better, but every time, you were able to read that he was too far into his self-doubt, and assured him that he was and would always be your best friend.

This time was no different. As Klaus returned to the apartment and was practically glued to your side, he felt that small piece of him rile up again, making him want to shrink to the background. As the night wore on, he felt himself retreat further and further behind the walls in which he had put up. He had hoped to get a moment alone with you, which didn’t seem promising. But luck was on his side, and an opportunity arose, which came in the form of a Mario-Kart tournament. You excused yourself and Luther from the first few rounds, asking for his help with the dishes. He felt confused, as you always stated doing the dishes helped you focus and relax. You turned the water on, beginning to wash dishes and handing them to him to dry. He did so, in silence for a few minutes, but not a bad one. “You know that Klaus staying doesn’t change how I feel about you, right?” you said quietly, as to not let the Hargreeves overhear your discussion of one of his biggest insecurities. He nodded.

“Yeah, I know.” he said in a gruff voice, looking out over the city from your window, avoiding looking at you.

“Luther.” You said sternly and he chanced a glance at you. “You know I love your family like my own siblings and you know I would do anything for them.” He felt his stomach beginning to sink as he waited for the other shoe to drop that would never come. “But, you, you’re my best friend in the entire world. Nobody’ll ever come close.” You said, nudging his shoulder and turning back to the dishes. He looked down at you, and looked at the way your face was lit up by the light of the moon, and he looked back up the moon to where he spent so many years in isolation, hoping one day he’d get to meet someone like you. He was starting to think that he didn’t want to be just best friends anymore... and that thought scared him almost more than anything.

ii. the time he can’t imagine his life without you

The thought that does scare him more than anything is the thought of losing you. It’s never been a thought he’s allowed to stay in his mind long; shuddering away from the thought of losing you to the cold clutches of death, the way he lost Ben, the way he had thought he lost Five. Unfortunately, he is forced to confront the thought one night. Diego shows up the Academy, clutching you in his arms, cuts and bruises littering your frame. Luther is the only home at the time, everyone else either gone, living their lives or in the case of Five, at Griddy’s. Diego sets you down in a chair and with the exception of the minor physical harm and the fact that you can’t seem to stop shaking, you seem to be alright. “I’ll explain in a minute. Where’s Mom?” Diego asks quietly. This seems to snap Luther out of his state of shock, that if Diego thought your injuries might be bad enough to have Mom look over them, he needs to present and here.

“Diego, I told you-” you winced, a movement neither Hargreeves boy missed, “I’m fine.”

“Even still, Mom should check you out anyways. I think she’s upstairs. Do you want me to go get her?” Luther said softly. Diego shook his head.

“Nah, I’ll go grab her. You stay with (Y/N).” Luther nodded and took a tentative seat next to you, wanting nothing more than to reach out and pull you into his arms and quell all your fear and make you forget all this pain and-

“Oh, (Y/N), darling.” Mom’s soft voice reaches his ears. She checked you over, determining that all the injuries you sustained were minor and would heal within the next few days.

“See, Diego. I told you I was fine.” You snapped, as Mom put a kettle on the stove to make tea for the three of you.

“What even happened, (Y/N/N)?” Luther asked softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, almost missing the way you leaned into his touch. Diego sighed and pinched the bridge of his noise.

“I was wondering the same thing myself.” He grumbled.

“It was just some creepy guy. I was fine.” The tension in the room is so thick one Diego’s knives could cut through it as the implications of what your sentence meant settled. A endless train of possibilities of what ifs fly through Luther’s brain that he almost misses what happens next.

“Fine?!” Diego asks incredulous. “Fine?! (Y/N), he had a knife-”

“I had it handled!” You said indignantly.

“You could have been killed!” Diego shouts, and the silence that follows is undeniably terrifying for all three of you. You looked to Luther, who must’ve looked like a fish out of water, gaping at you, struggling to come to terms with what Diego had just said.

“I might not be a superhero, but I can take care of myself.” You said, voice soft now, not making eye contact with either boy. Luther looks at Diego, who is clearly ready to make another argument and Luther finds the fear growing inside of him at an alarming rate. Luther stands up abruptly, his chair toppling over behind him.

“(Y/N), you could have died.” Luther says, now growing concerned regarding your apparent lack of concern for your well-being. The fear and panic spreading through his body seems ice-cold and the thought that Diego could have brought your lifeless corpse back to the Academy instead is rooting him to his now standing position. You look up at him.

“Okay, well I didn’t. I’m fine and here to live another day. Nothing worse then any thing you guys have done, and besides-”

“(Y/N), I could have lost you!” Luther yells, surprising all three of you. You look up at him. “After losing Ben, after losing Five, after everything that’s happened-” Luther goes quiet, choking on words he isn’t sure he means. I’m in love with you. I can’t do this without you. “I can’t lose you too.” His voice is soft and you look away from him, biting your lip.

“I’m sorry, okay? My co-worker called out, I didn’t think anything would happen. I've walked home a million times after closing, it’s never been an issue. I thought I had the situation under control.” You refuse to make eye contact with either boy, glaring a hole into the table. The silence remains for a while longer and Diego eventually excuses himself, saying you’ll finish the discussion in the morning. Mom put your tea down on the table, and you startle, seemingly forgetting the AI was still there. She leaves you and Luther alone in the kitchen with a gentle smile. Your hands are still trembling as your hands wrap around the cup, and Luther almost takes one of them in his own, but decides against it.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” He says, softly. You look over at him, if for only a moment. He needs to start sorting of these thoughts of love he has towards you, but for right now, he’s just glad you’re still with him.

iii. the time Diego teases him

A month or so passes between that night and the next time Luther is forced to confront his foreign feelings for you. It’s early one morning and the eldest Hargreeves boys are sitting in a comfortable silence as Grace walks around the kitchen making breakfast. Diego is the first to break the silence. “So, Luther,” he begins, a shit-eating smirk upon his face, not unlike the one Ben wore the day you and Luther met. Luther stiffens, concerned about whatever is about to come out of his brother’s mouth. As good as their relationship has been since Texas, Luther can’t help but feel like there will always be a sort of unspoken tension between the two of them that will never truly go away, residual feelings of competition leftover from their childhood. “When are you going to tell her?” Luther stares at Diego, utterly confused about what the boy might be asking.

“Tell who what?” Luther asks, which in response, prompts Diego to roll his eyes.

“Don’t play dumb. I see how you look at her. When are you going to tell her?” Diego says, smirking. “C’mon, you can tell me. This is a safe space.”

“Tell who- Allison?” Luther blurts the name out, the only girl he can think of that Diego might be referring too. Diego startles at the name-drop of their sister.

“What- no, not Allison!” Diego splutters. “Jeez, you really have no idea who I’m talking about, do you?” Luther shakes his head. “I’m talking about (Y/N).” Luther relaxes at the sound of your name and sinks back into his chair, but he’s still concerned about what Diego thinks he needs to tell you.

“What am I supposed to be telling her?” Luther asks to which Diego shoots him a look. Luther finally understands, at least, he thinks he does. “I’m not telling her about my... condition.” Luther says, the word feeling weird on his tongue. It’s an open secret the family never speaks about, sensing Luther’s insecurities.

“That’s not- she doesn’t know?!” Diego asks, incredulously.

“Not unless one of you told her.” Luther says, anger growing in him at the thought of one of his siblings going behind his back and telling you, his closest friend, his deepest secret and biggest insecurity. He doesn’t need you to look at him the way his siblings do, with pity.

“Luther- Luther you have to tell her.” Diego says, his voice firm. “She has a right to know.” Luther casts a dark look at his younger brother.

“Right to know what? Right to know how Dad mutilated my body?! Right to know that no one will ever love me because of it?!” Luther asks, the anger (and fear) seeping into his tone. Diego sits back in his chair, not breaking eye contact with the blond boy. The quiet in the kitchen settles as Grace put the plates down in front of them but unlike before, this one isn’t comfortable. It’s awkward and there’s strong emotion radiating off of the two boys.

“Thanks, Mom.” Diego says quietly, but Luther doesn’t say anything, not trusting his voice. “I was actually going to ask when you were going to tell the poor girl you’re in love with her.” Diego says, beginning to cut up the pancake on his plate. Luther startles and his eyes widen, looking back up from his food to face Diego.

“I don’t-” Now it’s Luthers turn to splutter through his words, struggling to form a cohesive sentence.

“You do, Luther, you sooo do.” Diego responds, the shit-eating grin returning to his face. Luther just stares at Diego. “I see the way you look at her. The way you drop everything to be near her, the stupid little smile you get whenever someone talks about her or she comes over, I see it.” Luther shrugs, feeling like he’s wading through concrete, trying to form a sentence in response to Diego’s too accurate statement.

“She’s our best friend.” Luther says, shrugging with a fake nonchalant attitude. The word friend feels foreign ion his tongue and wishes he could use something else that would more accurately describe his feelings for you.

“Sure, but I’d be concerned if Ben started looking at her the way you do.” Luther stares at Diego, the confusion returning. “Your face lights up whenever you see her.” Luther remains dumbfounded and quiet, sensing Diego had a point he wanted to get to. “I’m not the only one who thinks it either. We all see it. Sure, she’s our best friend and like a sister to us, but you, you’re in love with the girl.” Diego must take Luther’s silence as a reason to continue, because Diego puts his fork down and looks at Luther seriously. “I only bring all of this up because- well, if you don’t tell her soon, she won’t- won't stick around forever.”

At Diego’s words, it feels as if someone has dropped a rock in Luther’s stomach and he thinks he might be sick. The thought of you leaving- “She’s a patient person, but she’s not going to wait forever for you to figure out your feelings. So if you are in love with her, and I know that you are, you need to tell her- tell her everything.” Diego stresses the last word and Luther gathers that he means his condition as well. Luther wants to shove his plate away, walk away from Diego, and lay in his bed for the rest of the day, pretending that he hadn’t been forced to confront these feelings he isn’t ready to have for you.

Instead he mumbles out a “She’ll hate me.” Diego sighs.

“She won't hate you. I’m pretty sure she feels the same way but you’d have to ask Vanya or Ben for that answer, Lord knows she confides in them more than me.” Luther looks back up at Diego. “Besides, even if she doesn’t feel the same way, she won’t hate you.”

“But it will change things.”

“Sometimes change can be a good thing.”

“Not in this family.” Luther mutters as Five makes an appearance, the blue light startling Diego. The conversation gets left there but Luther can’t help but mull over Diego’s words, wondering if he’s right.

iiii. the time you have a fight

You and Luther’s friendship has been struggling, he knows it just as well as you do. Ever since his conversation with Diego, Luther has been pulling into himself, retreating further and further away from you. He’s not being a good friend, he knows that, and you deserve better, and he knows that too. Still, he can’t help but feel like the only way he’ll get over his feelings is by not being around, positive he won’t ever tell you that he thinks he might be in love with you. He knows there’s no way you're in love with him too. He’s ended up at your apartment tonight, returning a book Five had borrowed. Why he couldn’t return it himself, he wasn’t sure but Five had told he owed him one after “saving his sorry ass through two apocalypses”. Now that he was here though, he thinks it was just a ploy to get him here. Even still, when you invite him in, he can’t bring himself to say no to you. The pair of you stand in the kitchen in total quiet, the distance between the too of you feeling much more like a gaping chasm than the four feet. “What did I do?” You ask, arms folded across your chest, almost like your protecting yourself from him. Luther looks up at you. “Did I do something wrong?” A pause. “Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you.” He says quickly, clearly too fast for your liking. You sigh and let your arms drop, turning away from him to put the hot water from the kettle into the two mugs in front of you.

“You do Luther. I can see it. You don’t come over anymore, you hardly speak to me when I’m around, I did something and now you’re mad at me.” Luther remains silent, something that seems to be occurring more and more lately. “If you hate me, if you want to end our friendship, that’s fine. I’ll let you go, but at least have the decency to tell me why.” Your voice trembles on the last word and Luther is kicking himself as he struggled to find words to assure that it’s not you, it’s him. However, his tongue feels heavy and his mouth feels like it’s full of cotton and his mind is blank. He couldn’t very well tell you the truth, he’d lose you for sure, but it looks like he’s losing you anyway. You must take his silence as reason to keep pushing. “If this is about- your condition-” your voice drops on those two words and Luther stands up abruptly.

“How do you know about that?!” He seethes. You glance up at him from where you’re staring intently at the tea steeping below you on the counter, but only briefly.

“Allison told me. Months ago.” You responded, voice quiet. He’s in the process of figuring out all the different colorful things he’s going to say to Allison upon his return at the Academy, when you speak again. “Why didn’t you tell me Luther? I’m your best friend.” There’s that word again. Friend. The word has caused so much stress, frustration, and confusion in his life and now he’s going to lose you over it too.

“You’d hate me.” You look up at him.

“I could never ha-” He interrupts you, the panic and fear and anger sliding down his spine.

“Or worse, you’d look at me like everybody else does, with pity in their eyes.” He spits the words out with so much venom, he surprises himself. It clearly surprises you as well.

“Is that what you really think?” You finally dare to make eye contact with him for the first time the whole night and your voice is cold. He shrugs, not knowing what to say. “After all this time, after everything, that’s all you think of me?” Luther is, once again, at a loss of words and he feels the panic crawling up his throat that if he doesn’t say something soon, it’s not going to be pretty. You take his silence as apparent confirmation because the words you utter next is ones he never wanted to hear.

“Get out.”

He throws the front door of the Academy open and spots Vanya coming down the stairs. They make eye contact and she shrinks back, feeling the anger radiating off of him. A pang goes through his chest, remembering the last time he felt this angry. “Where’s Allison?” He asks and Vanya nods her head towards the kitchen. He heads there and he can feel Vanya following behind him. His siblings are sitting around, clearly laughing at some sort joke Klaus has just finished telling. The room falls silent as they look over to a glowering Luther and Vanya who is shrinking behind him in the doorway. Luther’s eyes settle on Allison, who is conveniently, the furthest away from him. “What gives you the right to tell her about what Dad did?” His voice is low and and it’s Diego who understands first.

“Oh, shit.” Diego mutters. He glances over at Ben, who looks at Klaus, who looks to Vanya.

“Maybe we should...” Klaus says, as Diego and Ben move to stand up.

“Sit down.” Luther says, and the three resume their position as Vanya moves behind them. Allison is looking at the table, avoiding looking at him. Five’s head swings between Luther and the rest of the siblings.

“Did I miss something?” He asks, finally settling on Vanya and Diego. Diego shrugs.

“Unless, you’ve been missing the heart eyes Luther makes every time (Y/N) comes around, you’re as up to speed as the rest of us.” Five snorts. Luther lets Diego’s comment slide because the only thing he can feel is the sheer betrayal he feels at Allison’s actions. Before Five can formulate a response, Luther finds himself talking.

“What the hell, Allison!?” The girl finally makes eye contact with him. “After everything you and I have been through, what gives you the right to tell her that?! You knew, better than anyone, how I felt about that.” Allison sighs and looks away from him.

“I’m sorry, okay? I thought she already knew, I promise. I wouldn’t intentionally tell her that if I hadn’t thought she already knew.” Luther softens, but only a little.

“So I didn’t get a choice in the matter?! To tell the girl that I love-” His voice stops on the word, realizing what he’s just said out loud. Five’s eyes narrow and Klaus raises his eyebrows. No one else seems to be phased though, leading him to believe there’s been one too many conversations about him behind his back. Figures they’d leave Klaus and his big mouth and Five’s smart mouth out of it.

“Like I said, I thought she knew. Why didn’t you tell her?”

“I didn’t get a chance! You got to her months before I could!” Luther exclaims, getting defensive once again. He’d rather not think about the consequences of his words just yet.

“Wait, hold on. She’s known this for months?” Ben intervenes. Allison nods.

“Four.” She confirmed.

“Four months and she didn’t say anything?” Ben asks, chuckling to himself a little bit.

“This isn’t funny.” Luther deadpans, now staring down Ben.

“It is, just a little.” Ben said, his laughter growing. It seems to click for Vanya, who joins in on Ben’s laughter. “Why’d you never tell her Luther?” He asks, still struggling to hold in his chuckles.

“I- I didn't want her to hate me, or- or think of me differently.” Luther said quietly.

“Well that answers that then.” Vanya says. The siblings all look over to her and she shrinks back from the sudden attention. “Well, I’m just saying, if she’s known for four months, and she hasn’t said anything, and nothing’s changed, I’d say the answer’s pretty obvious.” It’s Klaus who understands next and his smirk grows.

“In fact, one might say, to know for four months and to not say anything means there’s something more.” He says, using the voice he must’ve used when he was preaching or whatever the hell he did with his cult in the 60′s.

“Where you going with this Klaus?” Diego asks. Its Allison who joins in next, a grin growing on her face.

“Well aside from our brother’s new confession of undying love for the poor girl, she must feel the same to know for four months and never say anything.”

“To let nothing change in hopes that one day you’d feel the same way for her.” Five finishes, realization dawning on his face.

“Well, it doesn’t matter because she’s never gonna speak to me again.” Luther says, and turns from his siblings, heading back up to his room. So, he’s pretty sure he’s in love with you. So what, if it just means losing you? He’d go through a million apocalypses, swallow his feelings for you a hundred times, if it meant you’d still be in his life.

v. the time you drop everything to be there for him

It’s been a week since you’ve spoken to Luther. Klaus and Ben keep telling him he should talk to you, to fix things, but if you can go this long without talking to him, he knows that you’re better off. You don’t need him in your life messing things up and making it harder for you. Unfortunately, late one night, fate makes the decision for him. It’s storming out and Luther hates the sounds of thunder. His heart is racing as he lays in his too small bed, arms clutching his comforter. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to drown out the images in his brain as he searches for sleep again. His nightmare keeps replaying over in his mind, the image of you and his siblings lifeless on the ground. There was so much blood. He knows it’s just a nightmare, it has to be, but fear is crawling up his throat and he thinks he might be sick. What if that was real? What if it was some suppressed memory, and everyone he’s ever cared about is just- gone? His eyes fly open as he fumbles for his phone. He still isn't really sure how to use it but he knows well enough to call you. Pleasepickuppleasepickuppleasepicku-

“H-hello?” The voice on the other line sounds groggy and somehow through his sheer panic, he feels a pang of guilt for waking you up. His mind is racing and he still can't breathe but he can't deny the relief he feels hearing your sleepy voice. “Luther? You there?”

“Y-yeah, I’m here.” He stutters.

“Is everything okay? It’s 3 in the morning.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He can’t help the way his voice shakes, clearly giving away the reality. “I just... just needed to hear your voice, s’all.” His heart is slowing down the longer you’re on the phone with him.

“Do you want me to come over?” As much as he wants to say yes, he shakes his head, forgetting you can’t see him. He clears his throat.

“No- no, I’ll be okay. Just a nightmare.”

“I’m coming over. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?” He can hear rustling in the background, visualizing you pulling your shoes on and grabbing your keys.

“You- you don’t have to do that.” He says, even though he wants nothing more than to pull you close to him and maybe fall asleep with you in his arms.

“Just stay on the phone with me okay Luther? I’ll be there in ten.”

It’s actually 7 minutes before you’re opening the door to the Academy and rushing in. Luther’s sitting on the stairs waiting for you. He had to get out of his room but he didn’t want to go too far, not wanting to miss your arrival. The light in the foyer is on and you slowly walk towards where he’s seated. You crouch down, so that you can make eye contact with the man. He looks up at you and he realizes how much he misses you, how much he yearns to be around you. “You okay?” You ask softly. He shakes his head, finally allowing himself to be vulnerable with you. “What can I do for you?” He shrugs, still not wanting to voice how much he just wants to hold you in his arms. “C’mon, let’s go to the kitchen. I’ll make tea.” He follows you wordlessly. He sits in silence as he watches you fill the kettle and put it on the burner. You come around behind him and reach down, sliding your arms around his neck. It takes him a minute to realize you’re hugging him around his larger frame. He takes your hand and squeezes it. All too soon, the kettle starts whistling and he reluctantly lets you go. You put the hot water into two mugs and put the teabags in, letting it steep as you set the mugs down in front of the two of you.

“Thank you.” He says, quietly. You nod.

“Of course.” You say as you take the seat next to him. “I’m always gonna be here for you, even when I’m mad at you.” He looks over at you, thoughts being brought back to your fight, if you could even call it that. “I’m not mad at you, by the way. I was upset that you felt like you couldn’t trust me, but I know that’s something that-” You draw in a breath. “Something that takes a while to build.”

“I do. I do trust you.” He says firmly. “I trust you more than I trust anyone else.” He says honestly. “I was just- just scared.” You scoot your chair closer to his until your knees are touching and you can lean your head on his shoulder.

“I’m not going anywhere, Luther. I promise.” He looks down at you as the truth finally settles comfortably in his heart for the first time. He’s in love with his best friend and he’s okay with it. He thinks that just maybe- you feel the same way.

+ the one time he actually does something about it.

Luther wakes up alone the next morning. Disappointment settles in his chest, hoping you’d still be there. He gets up however, and goes about his day. He starts to worry though, as the day goes by, and he still hasn’t heard a word from you. He thinks that maybe last night had been out of pity, or some sort of obligation to his siblings. After dinner though, he gets a text from you, asking if he wants to come over. It doesn’t say what or why, but he misses you and he thinks he’s finally ready to tell you the truth, no matter what you might say in return. In fact, for the first time in a while, he’s starting to let himself hope, a feeling that’s a bit too foreign to him. He hopes you feel the same way about him. That you’re in love with him too. He agrees, texting you that he’d be over soon. He clear his throat, standing up from the table, and put his plate in the sink, ignoring the questioning look Five shoots him. He walks to your apartment, a dopey smile on his face. He makes it to your building and he lets himself in, watching how you turn to face him from the hallway. You give him a soft smile.

“Sorry about leaving this morning without saying anything. My co-worker called out so I had to cover their opening shift and I didn’t want to wake you because you looked really peaceful so...” You trail off, a light blush forming on your cheeks. He shook his head.

“It’s okay.” He says. The two of you stand there, just looking at each other. You startle finally.

“OH! I was wondering if you wanted to make these cookies with me? My Dad was finally able to get his hands on some of my Grandma’s recipes and I wanted to try one out?” He nods, smiling at the excitement lighting up your face. Your grandma had passed when you were little and it had been a struggle to get the family recipes, your family getting left out of a lot of the division of property. You had once told him that you were really only connected with her through baking. He always told you she’d be proud of you and your baking. You’d always blush and look away. He nodded, remembering he was going to need to use his words if he was going to hope to have the nerves to tell you that he was in love with you.

“Sure.” He says, moving to your kitchen. You follow him and pull the recipe up on your container as you both pull the ingredients out of their designated areas. The two of you spend so much time together that he knows his way around the kitchen like it’s the one at the Academy and the two of have baking together down to a science. You turn to music on, having made a playlist specifically for the dance parties that would happen while you’d wait for your pastry or dessert to cook. As the cookies bake in the oven, he watches with a smile as you dance around the kitchen, using the wooden spoon as a microphone. He isn’t planning it but-

“I’m in love with you.” Your eyes widen as you slowly come to a stop. The music still playing in the background feels unnatural given what was just said and you must agree because you slowly reach over to the computer, pausing it. You reach back and look at him, eyes still wide in what he thinks is shock. He’s starting to panic now, as you just stand there, mouth open. “It- it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way.” God dammit, this is why he didn’t hope for things anymore. Damn his siblings for letting him think you might feel the same way. “It doesn’t have to change anything. I understand. I just wanted you to know.” He says, quietly. “I’m sorry, I’ll go.” He turns to leave, feeling defeated. Fate is a cruel temptress, he’s officially decided.

“Luther- Luther wait.” You say, arm shooting out to grab his. You pull him back around to face you and he turns to see you unusually close to him. “Sorry, sorry, I panicked and froze.” You’re tumbling through your words, trying to spit them out, hardly breathing between them. He grows concerned at your state and he thinks you’re still worried about him feeling bad.

“Seriously, (Y/N), it’s fine-” You cut him off.

“No, no it’s not.” His heart sinks, but only for a minute because suddenly you’re talking again. “I’m in love with you too Luther. I have been for a while. I just never thought you’d feel the same way and I-” Your words stop as you look up to see you two are quite close together and all he wants to do is lean down and-

“Can I kiss you?” The words slip out before he can stop them but he’s not going to take them back. Not this time. You nod, and close the gap between the two of you. It’s short and sweet, just like you. The oven beeps, unfortunately, interrupting the moment.

“Oh, shit.” You mumble. “I love you Luther, but if I burn these cookies, I’m gonna be pissed.” He chuckles, loving how casually that word slips out of your mouth. He lets go of your waist, where his hands had been resting. You pull the cookies out of the oven and standing back from them, looking down at them proudly. He walks over to you and pulls you close to his chest and you sigh contentedly. “I could hold you like this forever.” He says, fingers running through your hair. You hum, wrapping your arms around him under his coat.

“I wouldn't mind it if you did.” You respond softly. Luther looks down at you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He finally got the girl.

#luther hargreeves #luther hargreeeves imagines #luther hargreeves imagine #luther hargreeves fic

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lesbianmarth · 4 years

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it’s been a while since i posted about aa but i just finished soj in its entirety tonight. here’s my new list so far

i still have to give thoughts on cases 4 5 and dlc so that’ll be under a cut. spoilers!

6-4: this was such a filler case, almost shamefully so. i don’t know why they thought they could manage to do this in the 4th case when every game with 5 cases has been pretty consistent about making the 4th case plot relevant, sometimes literally just a preamble to case 5. so yeah i think this one was kinda ass

the two things it had going for it: one, athena. in 6-2 i actually got confused about why i ever liked her, because in that case she felt like she was just acting the part of the Peppy Teen Girl With a Rowdy Streak that makes up almost every assistant character. But then as SOON as she started bantering with Simon in 6-4 i was like “oh, THAT’S why i liked her!” was nice to take control of her again.

two, uendo toneido. while i don’t think you can say the DID was portrayed with quite the necessary respect or kindness, it was handled better than i’ve seen other media handle it-- at least it’s not completely demonized. other people have written more on that in better detail so i’m not really the judge, but the basic point is that this witness was mad fun to read, and even the dumb jokes like the changing number of floor cushions were entertaining. thus why this case is in the “hard carried by one side character” tier.

especially since there was like nothing else going on. no connection to the main plot, only two other characters besides uendo, and for some reason the clown tits girl was here instead of the magic show case (and to be honest, she wasn’t enjoyable for me even BEFORE she did the standard aa female villain thing and changed her speech pattern as soon as she fell under suspicion). just a weird, nothing case stuck right around the point aa games usually enter endgame. And especially weird because...

6-5 part 1: inexplicably there are two separate cases in the final chapter and each gets one day of investigation and trial. such a weird setup, and it really shouldn’t work... but i think it kinda barely does. barely. it would still have been better to split it into case 4 and case 5 though.

i have a hard time articulating much on the first case bc it sort of blends together for me. the main thing is that the concept of it being a civil case where apollo and phoenix face off is really good. it was a good change of pace, even though you knew it was gonna be a murder somehow anyway. sarge was reasonably nice, i guess, paul atishon had some good animations and quirks (my favorite being when he tries to just walk away from the stand to avoid answering a question), and the logic of the actual murder was good enough.

but i especially got those strong “oh this is a FINAL case!” vibes during the segment in the cave, and that added so much to it even if not much of it was relevant in the first half of the case. the adventure feel reminded me of some of the (out of context bc i still havent played it) scenes i know from 3-5, which is a good association to invoke imo. and it did a lot to give apollo and dhurke time to bond.

speaking of which, dhurke, holy shit. what a KING. i don’t think i’ve ever liked a dad character in ace attorney this much. he’s so genuine and like down to earth that it’s impossible not to start liking him and believe how much he cares for his sons. the bit where he rescued apollo from the cave flood... i felt it in my heart

6-5 part 2: let me just get this out of the way: ga’ran sucks. her design after she goes full evil is so bad, she’s so malicious that it’s immediately obvious she’s going to be the culprit, her breakdown is ridiculous and just embarrassing to watch, and inga had already established way more charisma as a villain when he did the “those were orders of execution actually” bit in 6-3. with that said,

i actually liked it for the most part. the spirit channeling stuff was excellent imo-- they probably use it to similar or greater effect in 3-5 but as someone who again has not played that, i was surprised and almost impressed by how well it was applied. maya was relevant for something! it feels like it’s been ages!

rayfa was a little underutilized, i think-- her moment of determination where she stops letting ga’ran have control over her was alright but it fell flat bc it didn’t have any weight during the moment. i kept hoping she would like, wordlessly take of her shawl and do the little verbal preamble to the divination seance while ga’ran kept yelling at her to stop, but no, the script can’t be good like that, i guess. and since she didn’t get to be the investigation assistant for long, none of her charm in that role carried through.

but DHURKE!! oh my god! in a game almost devoid of emotional impact, his involvement in this case really hit. the way they painstakingly animated his death, the scene where he makes a promise with maya, and then the weight of knowing in hindsight that everything he did in the first part of the case was after he’d already died and just wanted to see his son again before passing on for real....... it hurt. i felt something during that section. this case would also be hard carried by him if not for the fact that i really liked the murder bits.

amara was good too--liked how they made her suspiciously serene and accentuated it with the lightning strikes to make her look like a hidden murderer character about to reveal herself, only to walk it back and confirm she was being forced to act that way. i thought it worked. nahyuta was boring though, i’m sorry-- i get the motivation with having to be a bastard bc his sister and mom were basically held hostage, but the only time i found him compelling in that mess was the bit where he removed his one fingerless glove and revealed he still has the dragon tattoo. that was it. athena was also completely unused the whole case (not even a single mood matrix? really?) and trucy one again went without any role of importance.

the ending also... yknow, a friend said they had to end it this way bc they never figured out what they were going to do with apollo (since following up on what they started in aa4 clearly wasn’t an option???) and just threw him on a bus to get rid of him. i agree with that-- he really feels thrown to the side, and with that i think trucy’s officially stranded with no hope of any character advancement. and the way they ended the game with phoenix and lamiroir deciding “yeah, maybe NOW we should finally tell those two they’re related” honestly felt insulting lol

but maybe the dlc case will let things go out on a high note...?!

6-6: it was okay.

it would’ve worked pretty well as a filler case in an older aa-- honestly i think it’d be one of the better filler cases, certainly worth replacing the shitty ones like 2-3 or 3-3 or, hey, 6-4. but whether i’d say it was worth paying for... eh.

the time travel conceit was done well enough, i think. the way they tied it back to sorin and pierce’s backstories was nice, and the twist about having two receptions was good, although they needed to treat that as a real twist with much more gravity. when the truth comes out it just feels like “oh of course that’s what happened” rather than a big surprise worthy of the Confessing the Truth theme. it’s sort of important because the case becomes a lot less interesting when you take out the time travel element.

far as characters are concerned, i think they needed more side characters to sell the whole thing-- another sprocket family member or another servant of the household. it felt a little limited-- sorin and pierce are pretty good witnesses and i like their quirks and their secrets, but the only alive woman (ellen) has very few traits and no connection to the deeper story of the case, so she falls really flat. the old aa characters didn’t add much- maya and edgeworth were just there for fanservice, ema didn’t get to do much other than acknowledge for the first time in years that she’s a big edgeworth fan, and larry is annoying as hell like he always is.

and oh my god i actually forgot while i was writing that, how they put in athena and trucy but only used them for brief slapstick where trucy would try to set athena on fire and shit. again-- no mood matrix? couldn’t even try once to fit those two characters into something?

i did like pierce’s transformation into his surgeon form though-- that was really cool. loved him doing surgery on a robot, taking xrays of the lawyers, and his breakdown was fantastic-- he would make a really good culprit if they didn’t whiff the last bit of pathos at the end. i don’t think he should’ve been aiming for revenge on sorin; it would have hurt much more if he was still loyal to the guy and never intended for him to be in danger, but the final “why’d you do it?” talk in the trial just felt flat and one-note, much like the one in 6-4.

... so that’s spirit of justice! not a super positive experience but i’m happy to say it’s done. as much as i want to go and replay dgs, i think when i do go back to ace attorney i’ll be replaying the trilogy for the first time since high school

#ace attorney #aa playthrough

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blackmuzak8484 · 3 years

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nortey dowuona’s best of 2020

to be completely honest, I decided to do this entirely for TSJ. otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered at all. Best end lists are for music nerds and billboard chart nerds and industry vultures, and i happen to be subscribed, in the discord and in the comments of the youtube vids of these folk. so, i decided to pick 10 out of random from the big best of 2020 i was compiling for the whole of the year, which I was gonna post to this Tumblr at the end of the damn year, but I guess I can just post the link to the playlist in the bottom of this post. Here, i’m gonna write about 10 songs I personally love, and pick out a few artists i specifically loved:

artist of the year.

RAP Ferreira put out his best album and best verses in a year everybody either stagnated, fell off or got rendered irrelevant by the world at large. He was ebullient, hilarious, thoughtful and even surprisingly honest. I enjoyed the fact that now he’s begun to create a real platform for many talented folx, and I hope he continues to do that in the margins and make even more beautiful music in the years to come.

rookie of the year.

Enny by a mile. Everybody else who debuted this year got hamstrung by the pandemic but she created 3 great songs, each thoughtful, insightful and a joy. Apparently she just started publicly releasing music to a large audience, and I hope she gets better and better, and even gets bigger than J-

most pleasant surprise.

Vic Mensa’s V Tape. An artist who I though had no more moves left completely turned around his whole career with a fantastic performance at Lollapalooza, a fantastic fleet of features and tis gorgeously produced EP which had some of his most brilliant songs on it. I love it all, Vic Mensah is well and truly back. Welcome back bro. (ALSO, DROP THE DRILL TRACK.)

GREAT THING A GHANAIAN ARTIST DID.

Strongman Burner, Amarae, Okunta Kinte, Vic Mensah in general.

cool things my friends and classmates did.

Justine Darcenne’s #4TheBaeless. Valencia Rae’s Siren thyhomebodies’s Coming of Age. (Phil, a producer in the group, made his own studio!) Brad built his own computer. petit abri put a track on APT9 Record’s compiliation album Volume II. khaalid anderson’s transitions. (khaalid will also be performing at Beats & Brunch on January 23, 2021 at 11 am.) Yannick Paul’s Bear Fruit. The Big Climax’s This Is Ya Boy kxng jetson’s Waves (ft. Kokko Williams & Mike Mezzl) Nicole Gonzalez performed in The Composer’s Melody. Victoria Marie released a bunch of beaufiful covers on her Insta, @toriiii_marie @ph0ssy_jaw works as a counselor online. Pay her at her PayPal. Johnny Aperano Yoba was on People AND Vogue. Dalitso is a wonderful pianist at his church back home in Zambia. Kobina is a fantastic drummer at his church. Kayla graduated with a BS in Music Technology and Industry! Damian been cookin on his insta. Travis graduated! (Look out for Clan of Dragons.) Rorghino Flores made a documentary! Francis (and Animax FYB) put out Mmofra on AmaLexPrime! (play it with yo kids.) A Hype has been dropping crazy all year, roll by his SoundCloud and check out Persistence Of Memory. Reina H been doing great covers on her Insta, @challenges_inlife. Hannah placed music on C. B. S.

best albums of the year (that nobody’s written about).

Maya Huyana -1991 DaWeirdo - Broke and Ugly $ilkMoney - Attack of the Future Shocked, Flesh Covered, Meatbags of the 85 VI Seconds - Because Why Not/Never Knows Best Erik Cain - Heart & Soul Vol. 2 Dimitri & the Scarecrow - Messenger is Sender (from 2015, finally got released onto streaming this year, still pretty great and another great Zimbabwean rapper for us to all fawn over, just like billy woods) Flowking Stone - Gifted 1 The Hoodies - Incommunicado Jayy Grams - Every Gram Counts Domo Genesis/Mike and Keys - Just in Case1/2 Madwiz - God’s Gold Teeth Maez301 - Hasaan Daara J Family - Yaamatele Dai Burger - Dessert EP TeePhlow - Road To Phlowducation II Tef Poe/Blvck Spade - Preacher in the Trap Terrell Hines - Portal One: The Mixtape redveil - niagara Nyukyung - Trap Harmonix AdrianXpression - Sucka Deante Hitchcock - Better (Deluxe) maassai & jWords - ve.loc.i.ty tobe nwigwe - cincoriginals everything Kelsey Lu did this year.

strangest things happening in music in general.

vic mensah actually making a great record. goldlink going through a narcissistic collapse and winding up making the best music of his career. redveil blowing up off Fantano calling him wack. pharoahe monch finally making a rock pivot and it actually works. meet me@the garden coming 10 years too late for my 14 year old self. RAP Ferreira being in the NYTimes, selling a vinyl record for $72, creating an actual nostrum grocers in a video game so we can listen to his next record. The entirety of the playboi carti phenomenom. The entirety of the lil uzi vert phenomenom. The entirety of Chance’s instagram EP being far more money worthy then the entirety of the Big Day and yet being released on Insta and not immediately monetized. Deante Hitchcock releasing a great album and being completely forgotten armand hammer releasing their underground kings wayyy too early. my ass continually not actually looking into amapiano despite always loving it when I review it. several good songs needing to be tacked on to a prior youtube vid as an ad for me to find them instead of actually listening to the artists. santan dave still releasing good verses after he made his illmatic. (expect his new album to suck.) slowthai becoming cake. (we let that go way too far.) Guapdad and BfB Packman being wonderful. Finding out BfB PAckman is a better rapper than Sada Baby. John Boyega putting on Ego Ella May. Having to admit Young Dolph was good all this time and i missed out like a fool.

best tv performance.

Chance The Rapper’s “A Chi-Town Christmas.” IDK’s “Change The Channel.” Sa-Roc’s Tiny Desk Concert. Chika in general. Robert Glapser’s “This Changes Everything (ft. Denzel Curry).” SZA at the Roots Picnic. Sampa The Great at the Roots Picnic. RAP Ferreira in general. Umi’s “Introspection Live Show.” Alexa Esperanza’s cover of “Is It A Crime.” Bad Bunny in general. the jwords, nappy nina and MIKE performances at Satellite Syndicate

most embarrassing piece of music i love with all my heart

Logic’s No Pressure. In all sense of the words I should not love this album like I love my siblings but I do. It is beautiful.

best 10 songs of this year objectively

1 - RAP Ferriera - An Idea Is A Work Of Art (ft. Mike Ladd) [prod. by Kenny Segal, mr. carmack and Mike Parvizi]

I know, I know. In all honesty Doldrums should be here. Then Noz put it on his best list and I had to be all ChiTown Go-Getter and pick the next better thing: this. And in all honesty, it has the best lyric RAP spits on the album: “we build better answers.” But it’s not just that, it’s RAP’s most animated performance, the most dexterous piece on the whole album and the most gorgeous beat, a loping bassline sliding behind the flatfooted drum, allowing Mike Ladd, his musical father, to gently drift through, saying, “what if royalty depised us?” and knowing the only gold is soul and giving it to all of us, all us maggots and vultures and locusts and weevils, to hold to the light so we can finally see. On the quest to get open and free, we continue.

2 - Chika - U Should [prod. by Lido]

I heard this the night it dropped and shot 2 insta videos playacting as it played. But apart from that, it’s a intimate, beautiful song about getting to know a new lady love, so tenderly sung it might melt and disappear if not held gently, with a sweeping guitar lick and purring trumpets sliding all over the place, Chika softly holding each frayed piece together into a considered, gorgeous piece - wait, she’s talking her shit.

3 - Issa Gold - Boys Don’t Cry [prod. by Kingjet & Sherwyn and Matt Zara]

The only reason this isn’t number one is because it dropped on Christmas Eve. But otherwise, it’s a openheart letter to us all. “it’s a lonely path being different,” Issa says, swimming in the melted ice caps as he once danced happily on the edges of melting glaciers that failed to drown him, looking at the world that keeps hurting his heart, yet he still opens his eyes and smiles, and dances. The heavy drums are so bouncy the whole song suddenly flies, formerly a hidden murmur becoming a bright sunlit flight across the sky so we can all see. I can’t wait to see Tempus, if it’s anything as good as this was.

4 - Deante Hitchcock - Growing Up/Mother God [prod. by Brandon Phillips-Taylor]

In all honesty, “Growing Up” is really not the best song on Better. It’s a sweet, happy song with a smooth, crackling bassline with soft, ghostly synths, but still kinda ok. It’s the song added at the end, “Mother God”, that has warm, sizzling piano chords and gorgeous singing in the back. It’s one of the few time I’ve ever heard a man pay homage to the woman in his life and to the God above while being entirely sincere and not faking the funk. The way he praises his mom, his lady, remembering the women in his family taking care of him and him foolishly neglecting Breonna due to his overburdened mind feels full of details, remembrances, explanations and praises. Plus, it actually makes sense that God, if she exists (she does) is a woman since -

5 - Yana Perrault - whiskey and weed [prod. by slate]

Apparently, Yana Perrault is verified now. Excellent. {YES YES MY GOD YESS}, It means more folks know about how great this song, and Yana herself is. If I had any sense, I would’ve written up 12:21 as the best song of 2018, but such is life. Anyway, we have this smooth, bass heavy slinker with shimmering percussion and lumbering drums about hooking up with a former flame who’s “sober” yet keeps on calling Yana to break their sobriety, “know we ain’t talked in a while but you still know my address,” she wryly mentions. As the beat sprints away under a warm cocoon of accapella echoes, it mirrors a relationship so tenuous it might disappear into the wind. Yet still strong enough to have whiskey on call.

6 - Marlon Craft - Culture Sick Freestyle [prod. by Cormill]

Apparently this was supposed to be a shot at Flex. And since Flex is a woman beater and a lame, good for him. Shouldn’t have even gone on Flex to be honest, but then again neither should Jay Critch or Tyler or Black Thought and besides, I watch those freestyles too. And on the freestyle, Marlon frankly put things in perspective. “You don’t want us to better, you just want to be cool still.” This describes all of rap media to be real. And tellingly, it only has 310,000 views. Methinks nobody really wants real. But I do. Thank u Marlon, you continue to be the best white rapper alive. (Nowhere near the best rapper tho, and if Token hadn’t fell off -)

7 - Miah - Cascades [prod. by Cedes]

I’m sideeyeing the boy Miah cuz I had to search up his Audiomack to find the producer’s name (it’s Cedes, and they have a really great avalanche of Drake Type Beats is you like that kind of thing). Were you trying to trick folk into thinking you produced it yourself? You don’t need to do that shit. Especially since you’re writing stuff like “back in high school all my peers were tryin to hit the league / until the league too far from reach so they tap dancing over beats.” When you can frankly break down life that clearly, don’t be trying to hide producer’s names unless you actually learn to produce too. Plaster your name all over that shit.

8 - Justine Darcenne - Off Days [prod. by Mikhail Miller] / Enny - Peng Black Girls (ft. Amia Brave [prod. by Paya]

Justine is indeed my classmate, but that’s not why this song is here. it’s here because it’s a nice little guitar driven song with a spellbinding bridge that’s the best thing I’ve heard her do yet. And I’mma keep it short cuz I already wrote this up at the Singles Jukebox.

Enny released this soft, cushiony record with washed out synths over bulky drums and floated FLOATED over them without even trying to run in the tar, saying frankly, “He said to me, 'they put guns in the streets, that’s what they wanted for me.’ And I said, ‘G, someone can fix you a plate but no one can force you to eat.’” After all, why not try to live for something greater than what the world has expected you to be. And Amia sings, “We’re gon be alright, ok?” with the joy and excitement of someone realizing the words coming alive on their tongue. One of the best songs of this miserable year, and it’s kinda funny watching Jorja accidentally Drake out Amia and even Enny (and by funny I mean irritating.)

9 - Tobi Lou - okay (ft. Dreezy) [prod. by Matteo Woods & Dilip]

Fun fact: Dilip did some great songs with Otxhello, a producer who recorded and mixed 2 records on my first album. That again is not why this song is here. The warm, swinging synths and heavy, bouncy drums are why this is here. Oh, and Tobi’s goofy, silly lyrics and his surprisingly effective Missy Elliott tribute are great too. But obviously, the verse that vaulted this into top 10 was Dreezy, which opens with such a openhearted line, “i can’t help it, it’s too hard to say I’m sorry.” And every line is harder than the last, until she closes with “and I ain’t talkin frontals but we got the city sown up.” Absolutely amazing.

10 - Strongman Burner - Pilolo (ft. KelvynBoy) [prod. by Nixie]

The sweet, gooey synths are poured over the soft, zipping and smooth drums as the wiry bass whirls between Kelvyn’s soft, thin crooning as Stoneman tap dances over the drums, both desperate and defiant, trying to salvage a sinking relationship that he knows is already gathering coral and snappers. It’s the best afropop song of the year and yet it still has a Nigerian on it (well, I put 4 Nigerians on here, next year I’m rectifying that.) And they even did a song together last year , not as good as this. At all. (still pretty good tho.)

best 10 songs i love (but not enough to write full paragraphs for, I already put 10 in and this is already 5 goddamn pages)

11 - Logic - Heard ‘Em Say

best song on the project that isn’t Dadbod but at least it isn’t tempting fate.

12 - Deqn Sue - Creep

I already love this for having a gorgeous bridge, and is cute af. Yes Sue, you can creep.

13 - Quelle Chris & Chris Keys - Sudden Death/ka - i love {moms, mimi, kev}

QUELLE CHIS CAN SANG SANG./ka can heart heart write.

14 - IDK - Square Up (ft. Juicy J)

I don’t know why this is here either but this slaps regardless.

15 - Nappy Nina - Modestly (ft. Maassai)

Maassai is creating some of the best raps out here. so is Nappy Nina.

16 - Kehlani - Lexii’s Outro (ft. Lexii Ajaii)

Let’s celebrate our great rappers when they’re alive (and this includes me. Pls Chika, don’t win Best New Artist.)

17 - Samad Savage - Goodnight

What Travis Scott should’ve tried to be instead of what he is now. Samad still dope af regardless.

18 - Bad Bunny - Si Veo Tu Mama

The way Bad Bunny actually hits that last note makes me feel so excited and alive.

19 - Fat Tony - Back In The Saddle

I fucked up. But I’m getting back in the saddle, back in the saddle next year. NO NIGERIANS ALL NIGERIENS. #ENDSARS tho.

20 - Lady A - the truth is loud

Why am I the only one who has this on a best list? I have 34 bot followers. Vibe, step it up.

best of 2020 music right here folxs.

worst music things of the year:

The Pop Smoke album. Just in all areas. (Better win that Grammy tho.) Travis Scott in general. (So loud and empty and boring.) Big Sean’s Detroit 2. (why does this exist? Just put out Deep Reverence and Detroit Night Cypher and leave everything on the cutting room floor fo the next album.) Remembering all the great rappers who are dead or incarcerated. No Kendrick album (just leaks. Not good enough.) J. Cole and Noname beefing and Noname getting strung up by twitter. Jay Rock pushing being anti-vaccinations. The realization that Normani might never drop a single record ever again. Tory Lanez in general. Joyner Lucas making actually good songs and falling off almost immediately. Cardi B in general. Anything positive being said about steven Universe songs. Luzamity shipping (until it’s canon please stop! Willuz is RIGHT THERE!)

#rap ferreira #best of 2020 #the singles jukebox

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c-is-for-circinate · 5 years

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An M9 major arc breakdown: part 1

Arc 1: Who the fuck are you? (I think we might be mercenaries??): episodes 1-25

I was going to do a nice gloss over what I see as the four major arcs of the Mighty Nein story so far in one post, and then I realized that I am (*ahem*) long-winded, we’ll say. And there’s a lot to be said!

Instead, a separate post for each arc, why not. [I will stick links to parts 2-4 here when they’re written and posted!]

So: arc 1. Covering 24 episodes and, according to critrole stats, about 35 in-game days, this arc manages to be both one of the longest and one of the shortest. It covers levels 2-5, and everything from the first meeting in Trostenwald all the way through leaving Hupperdook. It’s a lot! And I thought a lot about trying to split it up, but the more I looked for a breaking point in these episodes, the more every possible division felt really arbitrary, and reinforced the idea that this chunk of episodes has the same theme at the center all the way through.

The arc of these episodes is specifically the progression of the Mighty Nein from not being a thing at all to maybe, sort of, somehow being a thing. It’s full of great character moments, and lays the groundwork for, I suspect, pretty much every important thing to happen throughout the entire campaign, (with the possible exception of some of Caduceus’s stuff, but even then, I have suspicions), because Matt is Good At His Shit. It’s also super interesting in terms of the entire show, because even though it establishes everything, the unsteady conclusion it seems to reach about who the M9 might be or might become gets almost completely (seemingly) thrown out the window by the very next arc--but more about that in the next arc’s post.

In this arc I think we need to take just a moment to get meta in terms of players vs characters, because this is the one part of the story so far where that division is actually, actively important. There’s two big reasons for that. One, the players are still learning who their own characters are, even as the characters are learning each other. Two, there is one single, central, and encompassingly important fact that the players all know that the characters don’t, and resolving that disconnect shapes the tone of this entire arc.

The members of the Mighty Nein are going to be together for a very long and very epic journey. It’s a fact. Even if individual characters die or choose to leave, the group itself is destined for something big, because everybody at that table has every intention of playing straight through to level 20 all over again. What’s more, everybody at that table is already family in nearly every real-life way that matters. The audience knows that this group is going to be something special, expects them to become family in their own right before they’ve even met. The DM knows. The world itself probably knows, in-game--a group of strangers meet in Trostenwald and somewhere on her celestial plane, the Raven Queen is probably watching a bunch of fate-threads tangle together and make a mess of her pretty fate tapestry all over again. The only people who don’t know how meaningful this group is going to be, to the world or to its own members, are the characters themselves.

And that leads to a fascinating dynamic, where these characters run into each other in Trostenwald, and then stay together for reasons even they can’t necessarily fully explain. They never sit down and say, “okay, let’s be mercenaries together”--they get kicked out of Trostenwald and say, “I guess let’s go to Zadash together, maybe?”, and then they just...never break up. The number one question for the whole first chunk of this arc is, “Why am I even with these assholes?” Sure, the easy answer is, “because the players have decided the characters are going to be,” but that’s boring and kind of besides the point. Yes the players have decided that the characters are going to be together--and that creates a story where the characters and the players both have to figure out why as they go along.

The way this plays out is different for each character, but there are some commonalities:

Caleb and Nott both have long-term goals, and even though neither of them knows it at first, they both have the same long-term goal: somehow get back to the way the world used to be. The trouble is, this is a really distant goal for both of them, something that requires the kind of intense magic they don’t understand and barely even believe in. Their short-term goals are a much more basic ‘survive and also keep this other person alive long enough to figure out how to achieve that long-term goal’, and that’s what they say they’ve signed up with the rest of the group for. It’s a relatively simple answer that ends up getting ever more complicated in reality.

Caleb and Nott’s relationships with the group actually parallel each other a lot at this early stage, and it isn’t just because they come as a prepackaged duo. Both of their long-term goals have an undercurrent of desperate loneliness that they’ve each been living with since their lives fell apart. In theory, getting what they’re after will help fix that one way or another--but in the mean time, suddenly they’re surrounded by people, and they can’t help but care. They just also don’t trust the rest of the group, because how do you trust people at all, ever? Nobody’s been particularly kind to either of them since everything went to shit, and if the universe had any kindness to begin with it never would’ve happened in the first place. But there’s this undercurrent of...maybe, if they learned to love and trust this group, they’d find out they don’t need what they’re trying to get to begin with, because they’ve already got the secure love and acceptance they’re really craving. Maybe. Certainly neither of them have started to figure that out yet. They can barely admit to liking their compatriots at all.

What’s even more tricky is that neither of them actually have much of a plan for getting from their short-term survival goals towards their long-term goals. Nott literally doesn’t know how Caleb could turn her back into a halfling--she just has faith that he can, if he gets powerful enough, and it leads to things like the stolen letter for an academy Caleb would not set foot in again for all the love or money in the world. Caleb is so bad at bridging the gap between what’s in front of him in this world right now, and the big nebulous world-shattering Thing he wants to eventually achieve. After all, what’s in front of Caleb right now doesn’t matter, or it won’t once he twists the whole world into a new shape anyway--except that it is in front of him right now, and needs to be survived and dealt with, somehow, and that’s distracting in its own right. So the whole first arc is full of moments like Caleb trying to take the spell scroll and Nott trying to steal Fjord’s letter, where they’re grabbing at an apparent immediate step towards their long-term goals at the expense of the people around them, and maybe even to the detriment of those ultimate aims.

Basically, for Caleb and Nott, being with this group is supposed to be a means to an end--but they don’t really know how being with this group is going to help them achieve that end, they’re just...pretty sure it will. Somehow. They’re definitely eating better now, and maybe if Caleb gets into that library it’ll help, or something, maybe, he hopes. The unspoken question for Caleb and Nott both, as Arc 1 progresses, is--do they actually think being with the group is going to help them achieve those all-important goals, or do they just like being here? Nott will follow Caleb anywhere, because he’s her way out of this goblin life, but she doesn’t encourage him to leave to progress somewhere else. Caleb argues with himself when he’s alone, but he always stays in the end. Is it practicality? Is there a plan? Or did they just accidentally fall in with a group of people they actually like, and the group’s constant shenanigans are a useful distraction from having to admit what they're apparently willing to sacrifice for the sake of being here rather than alone?

Fjord and Jester, meanwhile, both claim to have long-term goals, but they sure don’t show any indication that they care about pursuing them. Which makes sense, because Jester and Fjord show up in Trostenwald with personal quests that are devoted to a very nebulous, hypothetical sort of belonging (contrast with Caleb and Nott, who want to belong in very specific ways, in places they once already lived). Their worlds have both fallen apart, too, but far more recently and a little less dramatically. They’re not looking to get back to what they once had, they’re looking to replace it.

Or, to be more specific: Fjord’s entire adult life thus far has been defined by his job. Being a sailor wasn’t just his profession, it was his identity. It’s what he did; it’s where he lived; it’s where he found the only person who ever really cared about him or called him family; it’s where he found his self-worth and his social worth, the first and only place he ever felt valuable to anyone else in the community or the world at large. Heading up to the Soltryce Academy to figure out what’s up with this sword is about finding a whole new self, with a new purpose, a new job, a new person who can tell him what he’s good at and good for and where he belongs now.

Jester’s entire life has been defined by her mom. Marion is her entire world. Jester literally doesn’t know anybody outside the Lavish Chateau, and aside from the Traveller, the few people who do know she exists at all are servants or coworkers of her mother. Jester’s world is tiny, with Marion at the center of it. If Fjord’s self-worth is caught up in his job and what he does, Jester’s is entirely determined by making people joyful and happy, and the only two people she’s ever really had the chance to please in that way are her mother and the Traveler. So she’s looking for her other parent, to replace the one thing she’s always had right there.

In many ways, the particulars of what Fjord and Jester are pursuing don’t actually matter that much. Fjord doesn’t need the Soltryce to give him a job or a purpose. He jumps headfirst into the mercenary business almost overnight; they’ve been in Zadash less than a week before he’s chatting with the Gentleman about professional networking like a man who’s about to pull out his company business cards. Jester doesn’t need a dad, she just needs people to love her and be delighted by her presence. It turns out that this team of people just so happens to address that core need for both of them, and that’s enough for Jester and Fjord. They’re in this head first.

The thing about Fjord and Jester is, though, neither of them are asking any questions about the long term either. Because rolling with the Mighty Nein is hitting all the right buttons to get at the root of what they need, they’re both super blase about letting certain details go without question. Why does Fjord have these new powers he’s now starting to understand? What kind of relationship does Jester actually want with a parent? And where does the rest of the group see this whole situation going in the next weeks, months, years? Jester and Fjord aren’t asking--and that makes sense too, because if they’re not asking, then they don’t have to face the answers. If Fjord doesn’t ever make it to Soltryce, nobody can tell him he’s not good enough, and if Jester never quite gets around to meeting her father, she doesn’t have to find out why he never came back. If they don’t ask questions about the group, maybe nobody will ever remember to leave.

Beau and Molly would be so pissed at being grouped together here, which is not actually why I did it, but is a nice additional nuance. (Part of why they hate each other so much is because they’ve got a lot in common deep down--they both care very deeply and project an image of not caring very much at all, and it pisses both of them off constantly.) The truth is, Beau and Molly are both with the Mighty Nein because they literally have nowhere else to go. Caleb and Nott are trying to regain their old lives; Fjord and Jester are trying to replace their old lives; but Molly and Beau don’t really have lives besides this, or at least not lives they’d admit to.

These two are the closest thing to Professional Criminals in the group when it all gets started--Nott and Caleb might steal and con to survive, but for Beau and Molly it’s been an actual job, with coworkers and workplace etiquette, and bigger heists with full crews arguably similar to the M9 in the past. The circus was Molly’s everything and it got smashed to bits within the first four episodes, but the core Mollymauk of it all means that his life fundamentally doesn’t change with its loss. He is still on the road skipping from place to place, living out of bedrolls and carts and inns if there’s good luck; he’s still slinging bullshit and the odd con, doing a good turn when he can and keeping an eye out for coin; he’s still messing around with a couple of swords, trying not to get beat up or thrown in jail or run out of town, killing a bit when necessary; he’s still embedded in the middle of a group of walking disaster weirdos full of Issues and interpersonal conflict who somehow have to live together and rely on each other with all their broken bits and strangeness. Beau played local contact for every reasonably-sized crew of criminals to come through Kamordah, and not a one of them ever kept her around for the long haul, but she knows seedy underbellies and she knows how to punch people for pay and she knows about honor among thieves and she knows how to trust fundamentally untrustworthy people just exactly as far as she can throw them.

So just the basic everyday operation of being part of the Mighty Nein, the important job skills and general lifestyle, is more in line with what Beau and Molly have already been doing than it is for anyone else in the group. There’s also less conflict with their overarching long-term life goals. Neither of them have any, besides ‘keep doing this as long as I can’. I don’t think either Molly or Beau have any real vision of what a future even looks like, Beau because she’s young and too busy rebelling against to think about building towards, Molly because with no real past he barely even has a concept of change or becoming anything other than what he is. The most either of them can really picture would be a life they don’t want: the Proper Lionett Daughter or Lucien Whoever-The-Fuck. Those are nightmare scenario lives that belong to other people, and Beau and Molly will run from them literally as far and as fast as they can.

While Caleb and Nott are avoiding the question of “is this group really going to help me get what I want?” (because the answer might mean they should leave, and they want to stay); and Fjord and Jester are avoiding the question of “should I actually try to find the thing I came looking for in the first place?” (because real answers are so much scarier than unsolved questions); Beau and Molly are determinedly avoiding the high school guidance counselor question question of “where do you see yourself in five years?”. They have no long-term plans, and neither of them want any. What they’ve got going on right here is good. They don’t have to be alone (which Beau has been all her life, and Molly has never been once, and they both want so badly to avoid). They get to stay in constant motion, running and fighting and drinking and earning money and occasionally experimenting with illegal ethereal-plane-enhancing substances, and that’s just fine.

Yasha doesn’t quite fit in with anyone else because Yasha is gone so damn much, but also because she doesn’t quite match any of the categories. Her whole life fell apart, just like practically everyone else’s, but she’s not trying to get it back, and she’s not trying to replace it. And Yasha does have somewhere else to be, a path she thinks maybe she ought to be following if she could just figure out where it is. She keeps coming back because Molly is the closest thing she has to family; she keeps coming back because fate keeps bumping her into the group and saying she should; she keeps coming back because it’s good coin and easy killing-things work and they’ll have her; she keeps coming back because she likes them, because Caleb is awkward with people but lends her his cat, because Jester is bright and smiling and also loves flowers, because Beau fights next to her and Fjord respects her and Nott gave her flowers once, and that matters.

As Arc 1 progresses, as the players get to know their characters better and the characters get to know each other, they begin to collectively answer “Why am I with this group?” with another question: “Just what is this group, anyway?”. It’s a little out of order and a little bit of a mess, just like the party itself, just like life, but the truth is that the members of the Nein find themselves more or less attached to this merry little band before they’ve even really defined what said band is. The characters become a group by accident, by fate, by will of the players, because they’re all desperate for things and avoiding things and because why not. Many decisions about what kind of group they become, though, are a lot more deliberate.

‘Mercenary’ is the first thing they pick up, and they specifically don’t choose it for themselves. (It’s also the first thing they lose when the next arc starts, or maybe at the very end of this one.) They roll into Allfield in the middle of a gnoll attack, and Bryce offers cash for gnoll ears before they can even ask ‘what’s in it for us?’. They already had weapons in hand to deal with the threat--it’s impossible to say what the team would’ve done without that offer, and they were all broke as fuck and badly in need of money anyway--but they didn’t present themselves as swords-for-hire until someone was already asking to hire them.

Allfield teaches them that they can be mercenaries (and gives them an excuse to stay as a group), while Zadash begins to teach them what kind of mercenaries they want to be. It becomes very clear very quickly that this group does not like institutions of power (something I’ve already written about at length). They do a single job for the crownsguard and then immediately turn around and start working with back-tavern insurgents and underground smugglers. While their individual opinions may vary, collectively they do Not Like The Empire.

They also establish themselves as a group that does not trust in general, either the outside world or each other--and furthermore, a group that will push and investigate and uncover answers every time a mystery pops up. They don’t take the Knights of Requital at face value, they investigate around the back end; they track down the Gentleman just because he’s there. They demand answers from each other, from Molly baiting a trap to catch Nott stealing from Fjord to the whole group teaming up to demand ‘Lucien’ explain himself. Caleb doesn’t trust Callie, and Beau doesn’t trust Caleb, and nobody trusts Fjord’s stone-swallowing, and there’s no resolution, only more questions.

Likewise, they are not trustworthy. While they take jobs and generally deliver on what they pay for, they also ad-lib and change direction for their own benefit, and their loyalty to their employers is debatable at best. The argument over the spell scrolls in the High Richter’s house is a major division at the time, but by the time they’re clearing out necromancy for the Gentleman, nobody really sides against stealing the journal or Yasha’s sword. They just come up with a plan together to cheat the Gentleman effectively. When they clear out the merrow in his safehouse in the swamp, they have no problem taking as much of his stuff as they can. They are out for themselves, and the jobs they take are a means to their own ends, not particularly important in and of themselves.

The M9 feel very small, as a group, in the face of a world that’s very big, and we see that tie back in with the past two points over and over again. So much of the Zadash part of the arc involves the stirrings and edges of the war with Xhorhas, and the Nein’s almost instant response of, okay, we want to stay as FAR FROM THAT AS POSSIBLE. The major powers of the world are big enough to crush them, and they are afraid of that--but, the attitude seems to go, the major powers of the world are also big enough to miss noticing them, and that matters too. They steal the dodecahedron and disappear off into the shadows because they know it means something huge, and that’s scary, and therefore grabbing this piece of it might somehow protect them or the world in the long run. They’re able to do it because they’re small, because in this clash of international titans they’re still nobody.

Lastly, this group desperately wants to be doing something moral, they just don’t necessarily know how. They debate over whether the Knights of Requital are good guys, over whether they should help the crown, over the right thing to do with the Krynn assassin. They are so much more comfortable working for the Gentleman, who’s a criminal right there on the surface but doesn’t appear to be actively hurting anybody, than assisting the local law. Even when it’s not a job, or maybe even more when it’s not a job, they find themselves going out of their way to be good people: rescuing Kiri, helping Callie, finding ways to help Horace and Dolan after the attack on the spire explodes everything. For a group of self-proclaimed mercenaries, there’s a constant undercurrent of...should we be doing this? Is this the right thing to do? Should we totally betray our employers because that’s the right thing to do? They’re not loyal to anybody in particular, except maybe each other, but they’re struggling to find some kind of ideal or guiding principle to be loyal to.

All of this culminates in Hupperdook. The group is finally unbending a little, coming to trust each other that little bit more. Beau talks about her childhood, and Caleb says Astrid’s name, and Nott says Yeza’s, and Fjord talks about the orphanage where he grew up. They go down into a prison to fight a whirling death-robot, and it’s sort of because Rissa’s dad promised them a reward but also sort of because Rissa is Theirs Now, and more than anything it’s to save the parents of a bunch of penniless near-orphans. It’s a way to say fuck you! to the Imperial system; it’s a way to combine two jobs at once for their own purposes. It is above all a very new-feeling exploration of the idea that, small or not, they can in fact actually make a meaningful difference in the world. They have power, and that power can be used for good.

It’s by far the least mercenary-like job they’ve taken. Between the bail money they pay for the Schuesters and the additional cash they leave with them to take care of Kiri, they probably spend half as much on the whole endeavor as that new fancy crossbow was worth to begin with. They did something good, and it feels better and more right than all their fumbling maybes.

Aside from Trostenwald, where crisis came to them and the whole story was about getting themselves out of trouble, Allfield and Hupperdook very much bookend this arc, and that makes a lot of sense, because there’s a very similar feeling to both jobs. They’ve done something dangerous, and saved lives, and helped people--regular, good people who hadn’t hurt anyone to get into the situations they were in. They made some profit doing it. Those things are not mutually exclusive, and maybe, maybe they can build something of a career path out of finding the places where they intersect.

This first arc doesn’t exactly conclude--because with an ongoing show like this, nothing ever quite concludes--so much as it reaches a point where many of its primary themes and issues begin to look as though they could, in theory, someday be resolved. There’s a visible path ahead that combines altruism and self-interest. The group members are talking to each other, slowly and carefully. There are still a lot of unanswered questions about who everyone is and what they want, but it seems like the group might just be heading in a direction towards those questions at least eventually getting asked.

It’s maybe the most optimistic place the group’s been in so far, which is of course why this is the point where everything in the whole world comes crashing down--but that’s for the next arc.

#critical role #driveby meta attack #mighty nein #campaign 2 spoilers #mostly only for the first block of episodes

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wallofweird · 4 years

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This Is Us Q&A

Thanks @madsdefencesquad for tagging me. :)

1. The first character I first fell in love with:

Dr. Nathan Katowski. He just seemed to be such a charismatic, generous, wise and kind person and the way he comforted those two nervous young people (Jack and Rebecca) who were entering parenthood for the very first time was simply beautiful. Specially because nowadays some doctors are so arrogant and cold that make you feel so bad to the point of almost apologizing for needing their care (not most though, we have real life heroes out there on the front line of the COVID-19 pandemic and I’m forever thankful for them!). Anyway, it was pleasant to see a character with so much heart. Now the first regular character I fell in love with was Randall. He was just so relatable and Sterling and the writers really managed to show all the affliction he kept inside from early on. All the things he had accumulated through the years, with the questions about his biological parents, his identity, finding out that William was dying the same day he met him and everything... Even before we got to dive into that story, you could see it in his eyes. And I empathized with him immediately.

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Kevin. I used to find him very annoying and self-centered and now I’m eating my words, but I guess that’s always been the writers intention: to show a character that came off as really shallow and immature and slowly change our minds about him. It definitely worked. My opinion about him started to change on the ‘Number One’ episode. It broke my heart to see what he was going through, specially when he lost the only thing he had left from Jack. That was hard to watch. And now that I’m rewatching the show, I can get his actions a lot better now and see that a lot of the stuff I used to hate came from his insecurities. So I’ve changed my mind about his behavior on the first episodes and I’m enjoying seeing him back then as well. I can see the bigger picture now.

3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t:

Cassidy. I don’t really believe there’s a consensus about her, it looks like the opinions are pretty balanced, but I’m not a fan of her. I wouldn’t say I hate Cassidy, but I don’t really like her. Like, the other characters can get me to laugh and cry so easily, but she doesn’t make me feel anything? She looks kind of cold to me, which I can understand it probably has something to with being in the military and the things she had to experience and do, but even with the whole drama with her son and husband... It's just never given me the same emotion I use to get from the other characters. Also, I really wanted the first half of the season to be only about Kevin and his uncle, but they threw a stranger in it and played with the idea of putting Kevin and Cassidy together the whole time. I just wanted to see their dynamic without anybody’s interference, specially because I haven’t got the point of her presence yet. I believe Kevin and Nicky would’ve done just fine in their journey to sobriety without her and I don’t really think the woman will marry any of them. I hope there’s something bigger planned for her that will explain her addition to the show, because I don’t really get it. So far it just looks like she’s there to mislead us with the whole “who is Kevin’s wife?” mystery.

4. The character I love that everyone else hates:

Madison. I wouldn’t say everybody hates her, for me the public has mixed opinions about her? I’ve seen people who hate her, who are indifferent, who like her and think she’s funny and people who love her. However, I do believe she deserves more praise. I think she’s kind of in the same situation Kevin used to be a few years ago. A lot of people have a pre-fabricated idea of Madison and see her as someone shallow and immature. Madison has always been there for Kate, even when she was nothing but rude to her. When Kate hit her car (I know it was accidentally, but still), Madison got over it the second she learned Kate was pregnant. She immediately forgot about her car and was filled with nothing but joy after hearing the news. Madison also helped Kate to enjoy the process of finding her wedding dress, staying positive with her second pregnancy after the previous miscarriage... She’s been there through thick and thin. And she is so loving, selfless and strong that was willing to raise her twins and go through all of that by herself to avoid getting in the way of Kevin finding his great love story. How can somebody not admire that? Even if you don’t like her, because that’s understandable and sometimes a character just doesn’t resonate with us, there’s absolutely no reason to hate or criticize her personality and actions. Madison is very underrated, but she is an amazing person. I just don’t understand why people have changed their minds about Kevin after seeing his struggles and evolution, but won’t do the same with her. The only difference here is the amount of screentime they have and the gender, because they’re both great people. I really don’t get it.

5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

One of the great things about this show is that I’ve never stopped loving any of the characters. There are characters I don’t really like, there are characters that have grown on me, but the opposite has never happen. However, I am a little angry with Randall and Kevin after that fight. I won’t defend any of them. They were both terrible to each other.

I get where they’re both coming from when it comes to how they deal with Rebecca’s health. It’s understandable wanting to save your mother. It’s understandable wanting her to enjoy the time she has left. There is no right or wrong decision in these situations. And a lot of how they deal with it comes from their personalities and traumas. They both have this hole in their lives because of losing Jack. Randall blames himself and thinks about what life would’ve been if he hadn’t died every single day. His anxiety also plays a role in how he process everything. It’s consuming. On the other hand, Kevin regrets not having spent as much time with his father as he could’ve had. He’s also already gone through therapy, is a year sober and attending the AA meetings regularly... He can see things more clearly than Randall right now. So I don’t judge either of them for how they approach to the situation. Still, Randall should’ve respected Rebecca’s decision. Period. He was selfish and I can’t defend what he did. I can understand why he did it and I didn’t really see it as him manipulating his mother, for me it was more of a desperate moment, when he was telling Rebecca he cannot handle losing her. Not that Kevin and Kate can handle losing their mother, but he’s clearly overwhelmed with the whole situation, while Kevin and Kate are at a better mental state and looking at things with more serenity.

However, regarding their fight, Kevin’s got some fault too. I’m sure they didn’t mean anything they said to one another, they just happened to know each other’s deepest wounds and wanted to rub them. It was painful to watch. Kevin knows Randall feels guilty for letting Jack walk back into the house. Randall knows Kevin feels guilty for not being there. Kevin knows Randall have never felt liked he completely fitted in, because he was abandoned by his biological father and adopted only after Rebecca and Jack lost a child. He’s always felt a little lost or as a replacement to Kyle. And Randall knows Kevin is self-conscious and feels like people don’t take him seriously or believe he can be responsible. It was heartbreaking and cruel. And I’m rewatching season 1 and recently saw the episode where they finally begin to grow closer and there is this scene where Randall says:

“[Mom] showered me with attention. Took my side more often than not. And I ate every bit of her love up. Ate it up like Pac-Man. You know why? Because the one person I wanted it from the mo..

[...]

You know, back there with those people, it's the first time in 36 years you've said the words, ‘he's my brother’, [as] claiming me.”

I’ve also just finished the episode where it shows young Randall having a nervous breakdown and Kevin ignoring him. Kevin and Randall did have some good moments growing up, but for most of it they weren’t close and Randall was the one who tried the harder to change that. It took them over 30 years to get to a place where they finally acted like brothers on a regular basis and now they have both ruined all of that progress. So I can’t really pick sides and blame one of them when it comes to that fight. They were both terrible. However, I’m just a little more disappointed with Randall because he interfered in Rebecca’s decision.

6. The character I would totally smooch:

Kevin. Justin Hartley just happens to be on my Male Celebrity Crush Top 2, so...

7. The character I’d want to be like:

Beth. She’s smart, successful, funny, wise and beautiful, I’d like to have at least 30% of that awesomeness.

8. The character I’d slap:

Marc.

9. A pairing that I love:

Jack and Rebecca. Their love story, even with its ups and downs, remains epic. One for the ages, indeed.

Still, I really miss a slowburn ship. We’ve had Jack and Rebecca, Kate and Toby, Randall and Beth since the very beginning. They were all love at first sight. They got together pretty quickly. I miss a ship that I can see go through all of those basic stages, like meeting, becoming friends and falling in love. I miss seeing a character pining for another and being a little bit jealous of them. I miss watching the scenes with the lingering looks, deep breaths, both staring at each other when the other isn’t noticing... All this tension building up until the moment it just explodes. Like, give me angst scenes! Give me a scene where they are hugging so tight and not wanting to let go and Character A can’t resist it anymore and kisses character B as if their his/her depended on it. Give me rain kisses. Give me character A pining for character B, but doubting that B feels the same way. Give me B being just as insanely in love as A and feeling frustrated whenever they’re around someone else. Give me character B being unconsciously jealous and fighting with character A. Give me A blurting out that he/she is in love with B and a passionate kiss. I know it’s cliché, but there is a reason why everyone loves scenes like these: they work. And This Is Us needs stuff like that. Hopefully Kevin and Madison can fill this gap, since I’m already in love with their potential. ;)

10. A pairing that I despise:

Kevin and Sophie. I genuinely have nothing against Sophie, she is a good person and she deserves happiness. If anything, Kevin was the one who wronged her. However, I can’t help sighing and rolling my eyes whenever she shows up or her name is mentioned on the show. I’m just tired at this point. I’ve never saw the appeal of it. I’m usually a slowburn kind of shipper, but I still have my ‘love at first sight’ otps. This one, however, never really convinced me. First, I don’t see the chemistry at all (in any timeline). Second, he’s cheated on her twice. Plus, the second time they were together, Kevin had fallen back into drinking and she didn’t even realize the seriousness of the situation. I’m not saying it was her fault or responsibility, because that’s a real problem and what Kevin needed was professional help. Also, he lied to her and broke Sophie’s heart again in the process, so I can empathize with her. Still, the fact that Sophie couldn’t see what was going on and they were never able to go through it together, whether it was his treatment, or the long distance or any real obstacle just proves to me they don’t work. They simply couldn’t work together. And Kevin has moved on. He moved on from her and genuinely fell in love with Zoe. They broke up because they wanted different things, but their relationship was real. So, the way I see it, the fact that he suddenly wants another ‘crack at it’ with Sophie, it’s just a result of his frustration. Kevin is so desperate to have his own great love story and children, that he is trying to get it from strangers on coffee shops or any ex-girlfriend that will reach out to him. He’s not thinking things through, but hopefully he will let life takes it course and find find them naturally, without forcing anything or insisting on relationships that have proved multiple times that weren’t the right fit for him. I also don’t really like when characters appear with the solely purpose to be someone’s love interest, I like seeing them in their own element and their dynamic with other characters. Like, even though each Pearson has their immediate family, we’ve seen bits of Beth and Rebecca, Toby and Kevin, Beth and Zoe, Kate and Madison (who at this point I’m pretty sure is Kevin’s fiancée)... Sophie wasn’t fully integrated into the family during their second attempt at a relationship, so that’s another reason for me not to like this ship.

I don’t wanna tag anyone specifically because I’m afraid I might forget someone, so anyone who wants to do this thing, just go for it. I’d love to see your answers. :)

#this is us #randall pearson #kevin pearson

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stenbrozier · 5 years

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Adult!Richie Tozier x Reader (Headcanons)

*Note: I have NEVER written for Richie before and don’t see a lot written for him so I’m gonna change that cause I love Richie more than anything 💗 (This from when Richie leaves Derry at 17 to him going back at 40)*

SPOILERS FOR IT CHAPTER 2 !!!!!

~ When you first met Richie, it was right after he moved to Hollywood from Derry.

~ He was auditioning for everything comedy, whether it be SNL or just as a regular act at a nightclub, which is where you found him.

~ You were a bartender at this rinkie-dink club on the outskirts of Hollywood that he had landed an act at, and when he walked on stage for the first time, his curly black hair caught your attention, along with his personality.

~ The way he lit up the stage and the audience made your stomach do flips, and when he saw you looking at him for the first time, you could see the light blush on his cheeks from about 50 feet away.

~ After his act, he came over and sat at the bar, winking at you before being bombarded by the smaller talent scouts that floated around. He gave them all his number before he turned to you, holding out his hand.

~ You took his hand and he kissed it. “I’m Richie, Richie Tozier.” You laughed at the cocky energy he gave off, but then you stopped when you saw the tiny little smile that came over his face.

~ “(Y/N),” you replied as you went and took the orders of a couple people that walked up. You went back to him when you fulfilled them, grabbing his hand again. “What nights do you perform?”

~ He shrugged. “Tell me your schedule and I’ll follow it.” Richie smirked and you just rolled your eyes.

~ When you were closing up, Richie offered to help and then walk you home, and when you told him no he said “come on I work here too”

~ While he walked you home, he would grab your hand and hold you close, shielding you from the cold winds.

~ “You wanna come inside? Have a drink?” He nodded eagerly, following you inside and sitting on your couch waiting for you. You brought him a beer and put on a random show, wanting to know more about him.

~ “Well, my hometown fucking sucks. I lost all of my friends at 14, so that’s the only reason I really moved out here.”

~ “Well, now you’ve made a new friend at 22.” You grabbed his hand, and he kissed your forehead, making you blush. “D-do you wanna stay the night? I don’t have to be at work tomorrow until 1 and I was thinking about maybe sleeping in. You can leave whenever you want of course I just...”

- Richie cut you off my kissing you, making your heart beat even faster than it was. When he pulled away, he pushed your hair out of your face. “I would love to.”

~ So that night you guys cuddled on the couch, getting to know each other more than you had ever gotten to know someone else.

~ Most nights after that were spent watching movies or reading or just being there together.

~ Midday dance parties in your underwear while you made breakfast when you were supposed to be making lunch.

~ “Richie, close the curtains.” “Who’s gonna see how sexy you are when we’re on the first floor? Plus, I like the way the sun lightens up your face.”

~ Fast forward a bit and you were now living in the heart of Los Angeles, your boyfriend of 3 years being one of the main comedians at the biggest nightclub on the West Coast.

~ He would be working till 1am and then would come home to lay in bed with you and cuddle, talk about his set, or just simply fall asleep in your arms.

~ You had quit the old bartender gig once Richie got hired, but you did work a babysitting business on the side, just so you weren’t sitting at home by yourself all day. One day, Richie came home from an interview and you were watching a couple kids, handling everything that was thrown at you with ease. One of them was throwing up and the other throwing a temper tantrum but you kept your cool and just handled it. That’s when Richie knew he wanted to start thinking about kids, but first, he knew he wanted to ask you to marry him.

~ He knew about your commitment issues and how worried about ending up like your parents: two drunk skunks who didn’t love each other and just decided to stay together for you when it would’ve been better if they just broke up.

~ When he asked you to marry him, you could tell he was nervous because his personality did a complete 180 flip.

~ You said yes, obviously.

~ You guys got married in Tennessee, where you were originally from, and it was the first time any of your family had seen you so happy.

~ Your neice fell in love with him and was with him the entire reception. She cried when she left and couldn’t be with Richie anymore.

~ Your first dance was to “No Diggity” and it was no surprise to anyone.

~ When you guys got back to California, you tried having kids immediately. Richie wanted one so bad and you weren’t opposed to the idea at all.

~ Your mom made you a picture frame that said “(Y/N) and Richie Tozier, 1999” and you use it for a picture of you two when you first started dating.

~ It took you about 4 months to get pregnant and when Richie found out, he cried for a good 45 minutes. He would soon make fun of himself for that during his show.

~ When you were about 6 months pregnant, Richie got offered to do a tour of the United States, and he wanted to do it but didn’t want to miss the baby growing up. That was the point where you realized how truly important you were to him.

~ When you had the baby, Richie cried when he found out it was a little girl. Her name was Merin Rose Tozier.

~ He was so involved in Merin’s life. He did whatever he could to make sure she never cried, which basically meant holding her at all times.

~ When Richie went back to doing shows, you two were at every one. Richie always made it a point to make jokes about you, immediately followed by “She’s gonna kill me for these jokes. I love you, baby.”

~ Merin’s first birthday was just you three so you decided it would be the perfect time to announce that you were pregnant again.

~ Once again, emotional Richie.

~ This time, though, your pregnancy was a lot lore difficult. You had morning sickness for the first 4 months, and then you were diagnosed with the flu. While in the hospital, Richie and Merin sat with you, taking turns nodding off.

~ Being released a few days later, Richie insisting you still take it easy. So you weren’t allowed to get out of bed for an extra week, which made you roll your eyes.

~ When your water broke, Richie was in the middle of an act and you were rushed to the hospital, and you called Richie about seven times until someone answered and it wasn’t even him.

~ “So, uh, I was thinking...” Richie was interrupted by the intern that picked up his phone running out onto stage, whispering into Richie’s ear. “My wife’s in labor, sorry. G-get refunds or something.” He was being booed, but all he could think about was his family growing.

~ You were the one to name your daughter this time: Evangelina Lee Tozier. Richie just held her and looked up at you and Merin admiringly, loving his three girls more than he could ever love anyone else.

~ You guys got a dog when Evangelina was about 2, a big Saint Bernard, and Evangelina didn’t know what to do, which resulted in many cute videos of her trying to pick him up as a toddler.

~ You didn’t know about IT until Richie had a nightmare about him and explained their encounter to you, but he couldn’t remember who he was with, which was a bit weird.

~ Staying up late with Richie to either watch a movie or just simply make out until one of the girls woke up.

~ When the girls both were in school, you started up your babysitting business again, this time only taking on about two kids a day so you didn’t have too many kids to watch when Evie and Mer came home.

~ Richie helping out by getting the girls on his way home from his writing sessions.

~ When Evie turned 5, you guys’ celebrated by taking them back to Tennessee, it being the first time any of your family was going to meet the girls in person.

~ They loved it so much that you and Richie made the decision to move out closer to Nashville, where he could get work.

~ Bolton, your Saint Bernard, was found out to have cancer on yours and Richie’s 10 year anniversary and it made you cry big time.

~ But Richie stayed strong and held you and the girls and Bolton, knowing that his family would soon grow smaller, much to his dismay.

~ When Bolton passed about three months later , you and Richie both struggled so you decided to get another dog after a couple of months without one, this time a puppy.

~ The girls didn’t know they were getting one, so you surprised them on Christmas with a small golden retriever, who was lovingly named Pudge, cause of how chubby she was.

~ For a few years, your life was perfect. There were no troubles, your kids were healthy, the dog was healthy, but something completely unexpected and big happened.

~ Richie got a call from Derry. You got a call from his agent saying that something was up, that he threw up after a random phone call. You took the girls down to the arena, checking in on him. The only words he got out to you were “IT’s back” before he was on stage.

~ You insisted you all go as a family, leav Pudge with your mom and dad. Richie argued and argued, until you got your way, like usual. You packed the girls up, hopping in the car and waited for him.

~ His hands shook as you all made the drive up, your keeping your hand on his lap the whole 21 hour drive, reminding him to breathe.

~ Your first reaction to the town was how rundown it was, how in shambles it had become. Richie pulled into the parking lot of a small inn, taking all of your things inside before sitting your daughters on the bed in the room.

~ “You stick with Mommy or me, do you understand? You can NOT go anywhere by yourself. Hell, go with one of my friends if you can’t find either of us. But you have to be with an adult at ALL times, okay?” The girls nodded, but you knew on the inside they were very scared.

~ When you guys got to the Chinese restaurant, Richie took a breath, leading you all inside. Richie walked in to the small seating area for him and his friends, seeing the gong and not being able to resist himself. He banged it, signaling his arrival. You and the girls snickered, and all of the other adults in the room looked at you three with furrowed eyebrows.

~ A smaller man ran and gave Richie a hug, looking at you all again. “How much did he pay you? Blink twice if you need help.” He laughed full heartedly, the others following along. “I’m Eddie, what’s your name?”

~ “(Y/N). And for your information, I’m paying him.” The group howled in laughter again, and Richie blushed, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

~ Richie was surprised how well you and the girls fit in, and he loved that his best friends loved his family. But when the fortune cookie fiasco took place, he vowed to never come back to Derry again. He was so ready to pack up and leave, seeing the trauma on Evie and Mer’s faces, breaking his heart.

~ Surprisingly, you were the one who convinced him to stay: the person who had absolutely no clue what the fight with IT would entail. You knew you weren’t going to be involved in it, but you figured that since this was such a big part of Richie’s childhood, he had to face it.

~ When Richie was away killing IT, he texted you as often as possible. Like he text you when he got his token, when they were about to get to the house and when they were in the sewers. After that he lost service, but you also figured that his phone was probably soaked through and the mother board had short circuited.

~ When they all came back from the Well House, you and the girls met them at the quarry, your heart breaking when you didn’t see Eddie and you saw Richie sobbing.

~ You went in, leaving the girls on the shore and hugging Richie. He hugged back, crying into your hair. You knew he was in love with Eddie from the moment you saw them together, but you also knew that he loved you, so comforting him was important to you. Eddie was his first “love” and losing that must be so hard, you couldn’t even fathom it.

~ “I’m so proud of you Richie,” you whispered into his ear as he grabbed at your wet shirt, needing something to hold onto and cry. And he cried. And he cried even more when the rest of the losers joined the hug.

~ “I would thank you people, but I don’t even know who you are cause I don’t have my glasses.” You all laughed at him, separating. “No, like, seriously I can’t find my glasses.” You rolled your eyes and smiled, helping the others search for them before getting out and going back to the inn.

~ When you had all of your things packed, you gave each and every one of them a hug, growing close with them so quickly.

~ “You two better keep in touch.” Bill was adamant that everyone was going to continue talking this time, and neither of you were opposed to it. They accepted you and your family in the Losers’ Club, and what could you and Richie want anymore than a place to belong?

#richie tozier x reader #it movie #it richie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack #it chapter 2 #headcanon #imagine #masterlist

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joyfuladorable · 4 years

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< Vol. 2 | Vol. 4+5 >

Rereading Oresama Teacher Volume 3

Cabbage Cake! Mama Kurosaki, why did you never teach your daughter how to cook??

Her outfit is so cute!! Too bad she goes back to her plain stuff immediately after. I’d love to see her coordinate that strawhat with her other clothes

Let your kid be gay, Mama Kurosaki. It’s fine!!

Mafuyu, you’re so noble and pure and gay

lol, Sakurada, your plans are shit but you’re unapologetically cute, so I can respect that

BOY!! You need to wear a freaking BELT! (or shorter pants or something)

Mafuyu was the closest to saying ‘harassment’ so she wins

My stupid idiot boys!

“I’ve… become an ordinary girl!” lol, liar

The best banchos are the ones who teach their comrades

I really don’t want to know what the blurred part of that picture is. Also, because Maizono is technically a minor at this point, it’s definitely weird that he’s submitting that anywhere

Why the FUCK does that lighter make such a big flame??

Also! Why didn’t they share numbers before Mafuyu left? Not sharing now makes sense, but what about before when they thought she’d always be there?

The coolest thing that Saeki has done so far is fight some yakuza

It’s always fun seeing Mafuyu being the one with the most brain cells in a group and then immediately drop those brain cells when she is offered food

Sweet precious child loves her friends!!!

… And then they reject her…

Oh no, she’s spiraling!

Sakurada’s a nice kid! Even though he’s blinded by rivalry most of the time

I wonder if Mafuyu and Sakurada had to walk together towards the fight. That was probably kinda awkward

I really like this analysis of different banchos. I think Mafuyu is a reactive leader who deals with situations/problems (mostly caused by her own gang) as they arise.

Their outfits are so good! Just looking at their props makes me wonder what kinda shenanigans they would’ve gotten into if Mafuyu hadn’t left early

HNNGGHHH!! FRIENDSHIP!!!

Ohhh, okay, there’s the phone number explanation. Didn’t want to be tempted to rely on her all the time, but that’s not the most solid excuse

I want to believe that Mafuyu thought her neighbor was a high profile lesbian and then got extremely disappointed when it was just Saeki

Although, Damn Saeki. You’re a real player, huh?

LOL, Okegawa tried to write his reflection essay as if he was writing as Strawberry Love

Nekomata keychain! I want!

Where the hell did that baseball even come from??

qwq Best Friend dream

Saeki’s bed is huge

alright, okay, alright, fucking Saeki??? Bud??? Why didn’t you just crossover to your balcony from the beginning instead of loitering in Mafuyu’s apartment that one time??

Uhhh VIZ? You did a bad with your translation!!! “How did I break up with Takaomi?” That’s a bad! She was like 10 when he, a high schooler, left!!

Jesus, Saeki, I bet the reason ladies don’t ever stay is because you’re a deathly clinger. Also! This! I don’t like this!!! This feels as uncomfortable as that one time I came out of the bathroom in the middle of the night in complete darkness and bumped into my dad who thought I was my mom and tried to snuggle me. Bad!!!

The Board of Directors’ kids are the Student Council? That definitely gets retconned in favor of the Peter Pan thing

Hayasaka you’re such a loveable doofus

Oh hey, Mafuyu, Hayasaka, your bisexual is showing

What’s up, Miyabi, you disgustingly gorgeous bastard?

Yui is the only one who retained this Student Council lackey aesthetic because he’s a dork

Bisexuality Intensifies

How did Saeki even know they were messing up? He must have a gut instinct for idiocy

Creepy Miyabi

I love omakes. Saitama gang shenanigans are great

Whose door did they try to ding-dong-dash?

Mafuyu masks!!! They forgot to put in eye holes

#oresama teacher #oresama graduation #I'm probably gonna double up at some point since there's 23 more volumes

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linphd · 5 years

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endeavor x fem!reader | love me if you dare [angst]

enji todoroki x reader

female reader

Enji and his girlfriend love to give each other dares, until it goes too far, and Enji ends up with a quirk marriage.

warning : angst

Enji Todoroki, known as Endeavor. Married a woman for her quirk, in order to have a child with both fire and ice quirks. But nobody knew about the before ; the woman before. (Y/N) (L/N).

She met Enji in high school, way before he became the number two hero. They were both on the hero course, and even if Enji was already quite popular with girls, he only had eyes on her. She didn't know why ; he was special, first in theory and in practice, and she was just the lazy girl with a telekinesis quirk, who managed to be 2nd, right after him. But it worked.

They started to date during their second year in high school. Indeed, during their first year, Enji had 'dated' many girls while (Y/N) spent almost a year with the same boyfriend. When she dumped him and was crying her heart out, Enji was the one to comfort her. When he was mumbling about how all the girls he was flirting with were useless, (Y/N) was the one to tell him he was a douche. But it worked.

After high school, they moved in together. Endeavor was the number two hero, (Y/N) was helping heroes with rescue missions and fights, occasionally. And everything was fine until he became ''insane''. That's the word she used. He was only focused about being second. He was obsessed about All Might, and wanted to do everything to be better than him.

''Enji ! What kind of hero is obsessed with fame ?! -It's not fame, (Y/N) ! I want to be the best, I don't care about the fame ! All Might is better than me, hm ?! -Fuck, Enji ! You thought you were the best before people started to say you were 2nd, right ?! And on why it is based ?! Fame ! -I dare you to yell at me like that again.''

Yeah. The dare game. They started that when they moved in together. Dare : you do the dishes. Dare : you yell in the supermarket while wearing only your underwear. Dare : you eat those crisps that have been in the cabinet for 4 months. So, the word 'dare' took another sense throughout time. Less and less used for fun, more and more used for threats. Enji was insane, after all. She wanted to help.

Actually, when he wasn't thinking about All Might, everything was almost perfect. So (Y/N) could handle it. Well, she would handle it until his obsession grew even more. ''YOU WHAT ?! -I need to avenge myself, okay ? If I want to have a child that would defeat All Might, he needs to have a powerful and surprising quirk ! And sorry, but telekinesis and fire can't really mix.''

She couldn't believe it. ''You're fucking insane, Enji ! And even if I agreed to it, why do you have to just find a girl and fuck her ?! You couldn't just give your sperm or something ?! And you would pay her so she would give the child to us ?! What's your problem ?! All Might, only ? Or your fucking malfunctioning brain ?! -YOU ! IT'S YOU MY PROBLEM, (Y/N) !''

She gasped. ''Dare. You fucking leave this house. Go give both your quirks to your child : your fire and your insanity.'' His fire erupted. It started to burn some furnitures, but he stopped it immediately, even though he looked really really mad. ''Fine. But you're the one who asked for it. Dare : you never call me again.'' After that, he took some of his stuff and walked out of the house. It worked.

It hurt, like it never had before. But she did never call him again. She moved to Europe, since her parents were European. (Y/N) had came to Japan to study in Yuei, and she had managed to learn Japanese during middle school, since she already knew that she wanted to study there.

And for years, she hasn't heard from him anymore. She was on TV sometimes, since she became quite a famous hero. And she could see him on TV as well, but that was all. She didn't know if he had managed to have a child with both quirks. She didn't even know what the other quirk was.

(Y/N) had some relationships, but her longest one lasted for 5 years. It was shorter than her time with Enji, then. This man had managed to make her forget about him. Until once she said ''Dare : you taste one of those horrible fruits in the neighbors' garden.'' And he answered, confused ''Why would I do that ?''. And throughout time, it couldn't work anymore between them.

Endeavor, on his side. Well, he had managed to have Shoto. He would've both quirks, but even if he wouldn't, Enji couldn't stand this situation anymore. She always was doing the dares he gave her. She was really strong in that game.

''I know she's in Europe. I know she's coming to the top 20 heroes' dinner, she'll come to Japan, she has to.'' he kept mumbling. Rei was the one becoming insane now. ''Why do you always think of her ?! HER HER HER !'' He hit the table, burning it after it broke -even though he didn't burn it on purpose. ''REI, IT'S A QUIRK MARRIAGE. QUIRK. YOU AGREED TO THIS, YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT THE ONE I LOVE !''

After that, he walked away in frustration. That's when Rei called her friend. ''.... And Shoto, he's half like him. He's half like this guy who loves an other ! -Mommy ?'' And that's when Shoto got burnt. Enji sent this woman to the hospital, whether his last child was going to have both quirks or not. He couldn't stand it anymore.

A few days later, here she was. Top 20 heroes' dinner. She had upgraded, she wasn't a sidekick anymore. Maybe she was much better without him. And for the first time in years, Enji was nervous. The Endeavor was nervous around the same girl he used to be nervous around in high school. He was 16 again.

''(Y/N), long time no see.'' he managed to say. And even though she didn't want to, (Y/N) cracked a smile when she noticed him. He really was the love of her life, after all. ''Well, I always do the dares you give me.'' He chuckled. ''You're a big hero, now. You really upgraded... -Well people change. Like you did.'' This time, she wasn't smiling and sounded cold. How could she sound so much different in only 2 sentences ?

''Well, I've changed again. I've realized that... no, nevermind, I don't wanna talk about myself. How is your life ?'' She seemed quite happy that he was interested in her life instead of blabbering about himself, like he seemed to do so everytime he was on TV.

''I broke up with my last boyfriend like 6 months ago ? We'd been dating for 5 years. And you ? -Sorry to hear that... I broke up with Rei actually 1 or 2 weeks ago only. She burnt my last child's face because 'he looked like me'. I guess she started to love me even though it's a quirk marriage, and couldn't afford that I didn't love her back.''

She was shocked. ''Wow, she's insane ! -Yeah, she's at the hospital now... and you ? You've got children ?’' (Y/N)'s expression changed. ''I... couldn't have children. But hey, it turned out that I broke up with the guy, so I guess that's fortunate I didn't persevere. And I’m not in my 40s yet, I still have time to adopt or something ?’’ Enji felt even more bad that he left her to have 'quirk children'.

He tried a horrible joke. ''Well, I have the children, we could mix !'' But it worked. She giggled. ''Don't make jokes like this ! It's horrible to laugh about things like that !'' He smiled. ''So why are you laughing ?'' He asked, doing the same as her.

Surprisingly, they spent the whole dinner together. They were so close that they remained outside the building to walk in the grass. It had started to rain, but Enji knew (Y/N) loved rain, so he didn't mind staying wet. ''You know why Rei hated me ? -Because you're an asshole.'' He chuckled. ''Kind of. She hated me because I'm still talking about you. I'm still thinking about you. I guess she couldn't understand the meaning of a quirk marriage.''

It was risky to talk about that. But it worked. ''My last boyfriend, I dared him to something, and he looked at me like I was stupid and he asked 'why would I do that ?'''. Enji giggled. ''Oh man, it's been a while since I've dared someone to do something. I guess the last time I did, it made me not being able to dare them again. I told them not to call me ever again. How can you dare someone you can't see ?'' She remained silent, looking at the sky.

He sighed. ‘’(Y/N). I kept thinking about what I’ve done to you, and how right you were about me being obsessed. So obsessed that I had 4 children and been mean to the 4 of them. For all those years, I kept thinking about you. I don’t care if you hate me or if you’ve moved on, but... You were and you’ll always be the love of my life. And thank you for all those years and dares together.’’

She was staring at him. ‘’You think I hate you ? We haven’t seen each other for more than 15 years, and when we finally see each other again, I spend the whole evening with you. Do you really think I hate you ?’’ He smiled, hoping something. ‘’Love me, if you dare.’’ He finally said, starting to hug her. She giggled. ‘’I already love you, Enji...’’ she answered, hugging him.

It was a really risky and cliche confession. But it worked.

kind of au where Shoto likes his dad and dislikes his mom instead lmao

Rei seems like the bad guy in this but I really like her poor woman sksksk

btw Love Me if You Dare is a french movie (french like me lol) with La Vie En Rose as the background music so yeah you should watch it.

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #endeavor #endeavor x reader #enji todoroki

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shadowsndaisies · 5 years

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Carrie: The Musical

a/n: okay so kind of excited for this one! this is my first Riverdale piece, and in honor of the 2nd musical episode, I just watched. I wrote this for Carrie from last year, and I’m planning to do another one based off of Heathers now that we’ve seen that beautiful fit. This piece is broken in sections as you’ll see, be aware of the warnings before you read!

Fandom: Riverdale

Pairing: Sweet Pea (kinda)

WC: 4297

Synopsis: Carrie episode from season 2 re-write

WARNINGS: character death, panic/anxiety attack (more so at the very end)

masterlist

Pre-Show: Rehearsals Begin

“I can’t believe you’re doing the musical,” Sweet Pea grumbled as you got off your bike.

“Good morning to you too, Pea,” you sighed.

“First Topaz ditches us because of the Blossom chick, then Fangs dips because of Keller, Jughead joined yesterday, and now you, what the hell am I supposed to do?” SP ranted and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“First off I’m not actually performing and neither is Fangs and secondly you could always join the production,” you offer as the two of you enter Riverdale High.

Sweet Pea scoffed at that, “please tell me you’re joking,” he added a deadpan as his eyes slid to you.

“Not exactly, Pea, if we’re all in the musical, don’t you think you should probably come to see why?” you say as the two of you approach your locker.

“Hell no,” he stated simply, crossing his arms and leaning down to be closer to your eye level.

“Okay, well, enjoy being on your own for a bit Pea, because the rest of us have rehearsals today, I’ll see you later,” you nodded, after exchanging your books.

You tap Pea’s shoulder twice before walking away, shaking your head as his grumbles about enjoying the time off would suit him just fine.

After class you found yourself sitting in the circle with the rest of the main cast Kevin was giving a basic intro when Fangs finally showed, he slid into the circle between you and Kevin.

“Nice of you to show Fogarty,” you whispered to him, a playful look on your face.

“I’m a busy man, (y/n) you know that,” he winked slinging his arm on the back of your chair causing you to chuckle softly and shake your head.

You would’ve continued your conversation too if Cheryl hadn’t begun to sing. You had to give the redhead props, as she sang Carrie you could totally see her embodying the role of Carrie White. Although when she was done the smile that had come to your lips during her performance disappeared as soon as the thud that sounded with the falling of the sandbag was heard. You had physically jumped and Fangs’ arms had instinctively gone to pull you back, just in case.

Sweet Pea and Fangs were the same in that sense, the two of them had consistently been putting themselves in the line of danger to save you for years. A fight breaks out, the boys immediately push you behind them or one of them gets you out. For Fangs the reasoning was easy, he was your best friend, the flirting was all for fun and just a part of both of your natural natures. With Pea, the relationship was a bit different as often times he got a little too protective but at the same time would never give the honest answer, he was one of your closest friends and god were you grateful for him.

When rehearsals ended, shortly after the Cheryl and the sandbag fiasco Fangs walked you back outside to your bike, except when you got there you saw Sweet Pea waiting, leaning against his own Harley.

“Hey Sweets, what are you doing here?” you asked slowly as you and Fangs approached your bikes.

“Fangs texted me about the sandbag,” he stated and you rolled your eyes before glaring at your other friend.

“Seriously? I wasn’t even close to it, Cheryl’s the one who could’ve gotten hurt. Hell, I’m not even actually in the musical, I’m helping with costumes and filling in as an ensemble dancer and voice,” you clarify.

“Dead, she could’ve gotten dead,” Fangs argued.

“You’re not helping, Fogarty,” you squint at him.

“From now on, if you’re going to insist on doing this stupid musical because it is stupid, then I’m there, every time,” Sweet Pea decided.

“Fangs is going to be there constantly, and I don’t need a babysitter, I’m a big girl, Pea,” you attempted to object.

“You know this doesn’t really seem like you need me for this argument, so I'm just going to head out, I’ll see you guys back at Sunnyside,” Fangs managed to get out as you glared at Pea and he stared back.

It was once the roar of Fangs bike could no longer be heard did Sweet Pea speak up, “I know you’re a big girl, okay. Trust me I’m well aware, but here’s how it’s going to go down, I’m going to be there, end of story,” he stated.

You couldn’t help but scoff, “look Sweet Pea, I’m grateful for the fact that I have you and Fangs always looking out for me, but this time I have to say no. If something’s going on we’ll figure it out, okay? I’ve got Jughead and Toni and Fangs all in the musical. Not to mention I’m actually friends with Betty and Archie and Cheryl and pretty much everyone else, if anything happens I’m protected. And you’ll be the first to know. But you gotta give me space this time,” you sigh before starting your engine, revving it so that Sweet Pea wouldn’t be able to get another word in.

Act 1: B & V

Days began to go by without another incident, Jughead told you he’s looking into the whole sandbag incident and that he’s got his eyes open, Cheryl and Josie seemed to have made up, or gotten to the in the works stage of the process and your costume game was going strong, so was your ensemble voice. However, the tension between Veronica and Betty was beginning to become even more palpable. Though things did come to a peak during Veronica’s The World According to Chris number.

“Okay, Veronica I am obsessed with everything that just happened,” Kevin praised as those of us, not in the number clapped from our seats in the audience.

“Thank you,” Veronica smiled, her hands clasped together and a gleeful smile splayed on her lips, “it helps to be off-book and in full costume,” Veronica sent you a silent thank you which caused you to smile back.

The dry laugh from Betty drew all of your attention though, “don’t be so modest. You are the literal embodiment of Chris,” she began and you couldn’t help but send Jughead who was a few seats to your left a look of worry. “Never had a role been so perfectly type-cast.”

“Oh no…” you mumbled a hand already coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Betty…” Archie began but stopped himself when Veronica raised her hand, you also didn't miss the sigh that Kevin let out, one very similar to the one you let out as everyone straightened in their seats, the drama something they craved.

“What was that, Betty?” Veronica asked, walking closer to the girl who was once her best friend.

“I mean, think about it,” Betty began again, her tone flat as if this were boring her and were completely obvious. “Spoiled rich girl, check. Major daddy issues, check. Bad to the bone, trying to control everyone around her, including her boyfriend and best friend, check, check, check,” Betty finished taking a few steps closer to Veronica as well.

Fangs let out a sigh before turning to you, your fingers still pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to fight an oncoming headache.

“What do we do?” Fangs mouthed, looking straight at you.

“Nothing,” you shook your head and mouthed back, this was one argument where you all had to keep your mouths shut until there was more information.

Intermission #1: a conversation

“Yo, Red,” I need to talk to you,” you shouted through the halls of Riverdale High School when spotted the familiar flob of red hair by his locker.

“Hey, (y/n), what’s up?” Archie nodded, switching out some of his books.

“How are Veronica and Betty? I mean I like them, really I do, but the tension with the musical, and the incident that happened after the Chris number, I’m a little worried,” you explained.

“Don’t worry about it, they’re sorting it out, but trust me, it’s getting better,” he promised before shutting his locker and reattaching the lock. “All you need to focus on is making sure that we look like we’re from Carrie, yeah?” he nodded before walking away.

“Sure thing, Andrews,” you sighed before heading off to your next class as well.

Act 2: Cheryl Blossom

Some more time went by and the cast was becoming stronger and stronger and then Kevin got another note, of course, you weren’t supposed to know. But you were a Serpent and that meant you and Jughead were family. When Kevin decided to talk to Cheryl things turned out very different than how you all were expecting them too.

“Due to some unforeseen circumstances...” Kevin began, clearly upset. Fangs had moved his hand to hold Kevin’s shoulder soothingly, though, Kevin had pushed it away. “...Cheryl will no longer be playing the role of Carrie White,” your eyes widened.

Sure Cheryl was being targeted but Cherry Bombshell never backs down from a fight, ever. Clearly, you weren’t the only one to be surprised as everybody immediately began asking “What?” and “Why?”. As your eyes danced around looking carefully at everyone sitting in the circle they couldn’t help but fixate on Ethel Muggs for a moment, she seemed to be fighting a proud little smirk and failing.

“Let’s just say Penelope Blossom isn’t much of a stage mom,” Kevin announced to everyone before leaning towards Toni, she was sitting on the other side of you while Fangs was to your right.

Toni gave a quick nod before grabbing her stuff and walking away, you shared another look with Fangs, there was some weird shit going down in this musical.

“In the meantime, Cheryl’s understudy will assume the role,” Kevin concluded with a curt nod.

“Understudy?” Ethel asked the smirk had been wiped away by the new information.

“I appointed one after the sandbag incident,” Kevin explained and your eyes narrowed on Ethel as she let out what seemed like an irritated sigh, “Midge Klump.”

Applause erupted from all of us as our attention went to Midge who’s smile brightened and cheeks flushed just enough for us to notice.

Intermission #2: Sweet Pea Returns

“Fangs mentioned things have been getting kind of intense over at the musical,” Sweet Pea noted as casually as he could while the two of you were playing a game of pool in the nearly empty Whyte Wyrm.

“Yeah, figured you must be the soul that Fogarty cries his sweet little heart out to,” you snorted, taking a sip of your water and lining up for your shot.

“Just wanted to check in, see how you were doing,” he continued.

Your eyes squinted slightly as you adjusted your angle before taking your shot, another of the striped balls landing in a hole, a smile on your lips you turned back to your giant of a friend. “Careful Sweets, almost sounds like you care,” you laugh.

You were about to place your hand down to continue your turn but Sweets pulled you back by your wrist, forcing you to turn to him, “Damn straight I care, you tell me what’s going on,” he said seriously, eyebrows furrowed, gaze focused on yours.

And your mouth went dry, suddenly all words taken from you, the look on his face was serious, deadly serious.

“Fangs told you about the second note, didn’t he?” you whispered, you were just so close, a whisper was all you needed.

“You tell me, okay,” he repeated, his voice still low and still serious.

Your hand came up to grab the one he had on your other wrist, “I promise, Sweets. I’ll tell you,” you nodded and he let you go.

“Good, now finish your shot so I can mop the floor with you,” he said, clearing his throat, and that soft look, one that almost looked like fear was gone, and his normal hardened by the world facade was back.

“It’s not nice to tell lies,” you shot back, sparing him another careful glance before turning back to the table.

Act 3: The Cooper Drama

As soon as we started working with Midge as Carrie we had to do a full breakdown of the new dynamic, so we finally let Alice Cooper take the stage, it was going really well and then Betty’s name slipped her mouth. Your head dropped at the realization of what was coming next, Fang's hand came down on my shoulders, his thumb rubbing slightly soothing circles into the blade.

“Mom?” Betty’s voice was soft as she called out to her mother after the older Cooper finished her lines form the song.

“Don’t leave me, Betty,” Alice begged, a soft hiccup in between. “Don’t leave me like all the others,” she added before rushing off stage, Betty got up and followed right after her.

“Am I directing a train wreck?” Kevin asked and that caused me to sit up straight. Fangs shrugged his shoulders before lifting a cup. “And where’s my tea?” Kevin added causing Fangs’ arm to freeze.

“Alright that’s enough drama for me, I’m heading home. Fangs, you good or you need a ride?” you asked standing up and grabbing your bag.

“Rehearsals aren’t done yet!” Kevin interjected.

“Guess it’s a good thing I’m not on stage then,” you sighed, offering the group a peace sign before walking out of the auditorium and to your bike.

Intermission #3: your interview

“Why are we in the music room, Jones?” you asked, a bored expression over your face as you sat down on one of the stools.

“It’s your turn for confession,” Jughead jokes.

“Bless me, father, for I have sinned,” you shot back sarcastically.

“No, but really, this is your time to talk about what it’s been like working behind the scenes and with the cast,” Jughead prodded.

“Kevin’s my friend Jughead. And he asked me to help with costumes. I agreed. The cast is just more of my friends, so it’s been cool. I mean I’m not really one for people’s drama so that’s been a bit much but I don’t know. Fangs is breathing down my neck constantly because Sweet Pea’s doing the same to him. Oh! I just finished the digital file for the program mock-up, I sent it to Kevin so he could make some final adjustments before sending them to print,” you offer.

“This is lame, you know that? You’re giving me lame stuff to film, boo,” Jughead shook his head and you laughed.

“Sorry, my life isn’t some telenovela-like some of our other friends,” you scoff.

“Such a shame too, you could’ve been a star, kid, a star,” jughead trailed with a slight accent, causing you to roll your eyes.

“You’re something else, Jones, you know that?” you laugh as the bell rings.

Act 4: The Show Begins

On the night of the show, I arrived with a bag in hand, inside was my best dress. I wasn’t going on stage but I had been a lot of help and so Kevin had asked me to dress nice. When I walked into the dressing rooms everyone was preparing themselves.

As the curtain call drew closer and closer I had already changed and now was running around to make sure everyone looked perfect. We were all singing You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet as we went.

“You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night you'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget,” everyone was singing

“This will be just great,” Archie sang before I pulled him away from Veronica and to his costume.

“Oh, my life is gonna take flight. Can't wait till Saturday night, yeah…”

Sheriff Keller came in to take a picture of Kevin, and then they ushered you into the photo too.

“Eighty bucks for a tux?” Kevin sang the next line, gesturing to his own clothes, causing me to laugh.

“Damn, we better get laid,” Moose cut in.

“You've been prayin' for that since the seventh grade,” you sang back causing Moose to snort in return.

“It's the least we deserve after everything we've paid,” Alice added from where she was curling her hair.

“Got the food,” Archie.

“Got the drinks,” Chuck.

“Got the limo for ten,” Veronica.

“And we won't get a chance like this again,” everyone.

“We'll be leaving as boys but we're coming home as men,” boys.

“This will be just great! Yeah, my life is gonna take flight,” Chuck.

“Can't wait till Saturday night,” Ethel.

I walked out into the hall to hand costumes out to everyone as they passed.

Toni came first, “You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget.”

Then the rest, “You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never forget. You ain't seen nothin' yet. It's gonna be a night we'll never, no, never, we'll never forget. A night we'll never forget,” then they were ready.

Intermission #4: 10 minutes til places

“Ten minutes till places! Where is Fangs?” Kevin announced before looking to you.

“I don’t know, Kevin. I’ve been trying to find him myself,” you shook your head.

Sweet Pea hadn’t told you if he was coming tonight but you knew Fangs would know.

“Okay, you know what? You!” Kevin pointed at one of the many co-stage managers he had gotten to help with the musical, “give (y/n) your headset. I need to be able to talk to her in case we have a costume malfunction.”

The girl handed it to you with a smile before walking away to help finish final touches.

“Why’d you really give it to me?” You asked, your friend as you adjusted the headset.

“Keep your eyes open, I’ve got this queasy feeling,” he mumbled before walking away.

“(Y/n)!” Jughead called out to you from where he was behind the camera.

“Yeah, what’s up, Jughead?” you asked.

“When we find Fangs, stick with him, okay? Or find Sweet Pea and sit with him,” Jughead told you.

“Jug! Are you serious? I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” you grumbled before walking away.

Not even five minutes passed before you saw Jughead again, this time he was being thrown out of Ethel’s dressing room, “Really, Jones?” you asked.

“I think Ethel’s the one who wrote the notes, sounded like a guilty conscious to me,” Jughead responded, turning the camera towards me, and then to the side again, “Hey Moose!”

“Out of my way, Jones,” Moose spit back, a hand to Jughead’s chest for good measure.

Your eyes met Jug’s over the top of the camera, you were vaguely aware that he was filming you again, “What is going on with this musical, man?” you muttered.

“Something, diabolical,” Jughead answered, squinting his eyes slightly as he looked after the direction in which Moose had gone.

Act 5: The Final Act

The musical had been going well, you were sitting next to Jughead and Kevin in the middle of the front row, watching Alice Cooper sing before it all went to hell.

“All right, Carrietta, it’s time to come out of your closet,” Alice announced and the stagehands took their queue to raise the closet set.

We were supposed to see Midge, on her knees and she should’ve been singing, instead, your hands began to sweat and your heart began to move much more rapidly and you felt something sour rise up your throat. Midge was on stage, but not how it should’ve been.

“Uh, Kevin, did you reblock this scene? Why isn’t she on her knees singing?” Cheryl’s voice had an edge to it, the same edge that had made it slightly more difficult for you to breath.

Kevin could only stutter and my hand came up over my mouth, the feeling as if I were about to cry, or faint, or vomit all swirling through me. Because on stage was Midge, she was on the wall, suspended in place by multiple daggers in her body and around her, was bloody letters, “I AM BACK FROM THE DEAD ALL THOSE WHO ESCAPED ME BEFORE WILL DIE... B.H.”

“Oh god, no,” you muttered.

“I don’t think that’s part of the show,” Jughead murmured.

“Oh my god,” Kevin was finally able to spit some words out.

“Somebody should help her, for god's sake help her!” Cheryl screamed, and that caused Alice to turn around.

When Alice Cooper let out a scream of pure fear everyone began to move, but you were frozen the panic of the situation was getting to you, everyone seemed to close and the room felt like there wasn’t enough air and everything was too loud.

“(Y/n)!” Jughead shouted from where he was beside you.

“I-I can-can’t-” you shook your head violently and your body began to shake.

You were so focused on how your hands were shaking you didn’t realize when someone else came to stand before you, allowing Jughead to go run after his girlfriend.

“(Y/n),” his voice was stern and low and had an edge to it that made you look up.

There was Sweet Pea, he was staring at you so carefully but also with what looked like relief, then he notices your hands.

“Hey, just breath, okay, you’re going to be fine,” he attempted to soothe.

“Fine!” you shot back between ragged breaths. “She-she’s dead…” you tried to gasp for air and then Sweet Pea made a decision, he slipped his arms around you from where you were sitting, and with a small grunt lifted you into his arms.

His giant stature allowed him to move through the crowd relatively easily and he didn’t stop until he got you outside.

“Hey, I’ve got you, you’re going to be okay” he whispered a few minutes after he had set you on one of the picnic tables outside in the back, it was quieter there and the cold air helped to get you to calm down, his arms were on both sides of you and then you were hugging him.

He froze this time, surprised at how you had basically latched your arms around him, but his arms moved to wrap around you, and he squeezed you just enough to remind you he was here.

“You’re freezing,” he noted, his voice a soft whisper, just like it was that day at the Wyrm. He pulled away from you for a moment to slip his jacket off, he was wearing the leather one today, and then it was enveloping you.

“C’mon let’s get you home,” he said softly.

“I don’t want to go home, Pea. I don’t want to go back to an empty trailer, not tonight,” you whispered.

“Then you’ll come to mine, I told you I’m not letting you out of my sight,” he nodded, offering you his hand.

You nodded before grabbing it.

The Curtain Call

You were sitting on Sweet Pea’s bed, staring at a picture on the wall.

“That was a good day,” Sweet Pea said, his voice soft as he set some stuff to the side of you on the bed.

You didn’t respond and your hands were tucked under your legs to keep them from shaking.

“I got some clothes for you to change into,” he continued, but your eyes stayed focused on the photo. “(Y/n).... C'mon, work with me, tell me something,” he asked and you slowly turned to him.

He sighed and grabbed a wipe as he took in your disheveled face, makeup smudged and streaked over your face. “C’mere,” he said as he tilted your face up to him, tucking your hair back and slowly wiping at your face.

Your lips parted as he swiped the wipe by your chin, “I’m terrified,” you admit to him, voice cracking.

Sweet Pea kept one hand gently on your face as he threw the wipe into the trash bin, “Nothing’s going to happen to you, while I’m here, okay? I’ve got you. All the serpents do,” he promised, but it did little to soothe your nerves.

“That’s not the reason,” you breathed as one of your shaky hands came up to grip onto Pea’s wrist.

He stays silent, eyes flicking to yours as he grabbed your scrunchie from your wrist, his hands moving to your hair.

“I’m terrified for who’s next,” you continued and your eyes watered. “I don’t want to watch another person die.”

He tied your hair in a half bun and swept a few of your baby hairs from your face before crouching down to be eye level with you, “They’re gonna get this guy,” he said seriously.

“You don’t know that,” your voice cracked as you met his eyes.

“I don’t have to. Because what I do know, is that no one is going to touch you, because I’m here, always,” he reminded. “Here, these should sort of fit, get comfy, we can watch a movie or something,” he nodded to the clothes on the bed.

He walked out to go and change himself and carefully you unzipped your dress and changed into the black boxer shorts and grey t-shirt he had left for you.

When he came back he laid on his bed and you fell in beside him. With one arm over your waist, he started the movie. You fell asleep before the halfway mark, and his grip on you tightened slightly. There was no way in hell he was going to just let you go.

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douxreviews · 5 years

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The Umbrella Academy - ‘We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals’ Review

Right from the comics, by illustrator Gabriel Bá and My Chemical Romance vocalist Gerard Way, comes the winter hit of Netflix nobody saw coming. Picture a love child between the X-Men and the dysfunctional Bluths, and you’ll have the Hargreeves siblings of The Umbrella Academy.

I must confess that I myself have yet the chance to read the comics this series is inspired by, but from what I understand, the premises don’t differ much at all. On the same day down to the same minute, 43 women across the globe give birth despite not showing any signs of pregnancy up until labor. Irregular and reclusive billionaire Sir Reginald Hargreeves scouts out these women and is able to compensate only seven of them in exchange for adopting their children, all which supposedly have been born with unique abilities. For reasons known only for himself, Hargreeves raises these youths, with assistance from an android-caretaker (appropriately referred to as ‘Mom’ by the children) and an exceptionally intelligent chimp named Pogo, into becoming a team of superheroes called ‘The Umbrella Academy’.

Right away, a premise like this that takes its own shot at subverting the superhero genre had my attention and, after the pilot episode, went on to dominate the rest of my week as I binged through its first season. From the get-go, it became clear that The Umbrella Academy is a show that is much more character-centered than it is plot-centered. This is not to say The Umbrella Academy lacks any signs of a narrative, but the series’ heart and soul is the dissection and exploration of the seven Hargreeves siblings who, in ‘We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals’, are reunited years later after hearing the news that father Hargreeves has passed away.

#1: Luther Hargreeves/Spaceboy. The former leader of the Umbrella Academy, Luther is the teammate with incredible super strength that is practically mandatory at this point for every group of superheroes. Presently, he operates as an astronaut exploring Earth’s moon, but returns to Earth once he learns of father Hargreeves’ passing. Picture Superman if Superman wasn’t very talented at inspiring morale or teamwork in his Justice League compatriots, and you’ll have Luther.

#2: Diego Hargreeves/The Kraken. In many ways the antithesis to Luther, Diego is a reckless hothead on the outside, and a bit of a momma’s boy on the inside. And unlike Luther, who maintained complete trust and faith in father Hargreeves until the end, Diego (as well as #3 and #4) has a fiery hatred for their father due to his cold, unfeeling, and abusive manner towards the children while they were growing up. Diego has the ability of accurate and expert marksmanship, and a dagger is his preferred weapon.

#3: Allison Hargreeves/The Rumor. Currently an aspiring actress, Allison returns home with her siblings while in the midst of a divorce, and if that weren’t bad enough, she has also lost complete custody of her daughter. Though her distaste doesn’t seem as passionate as Diego’s, she too harbors resentment for father Hargreeves. She has the ability to alter reality itself by beginning her wishes with the phrase “I heard a rumor…”

#4: Klaus Hargreeves/The Séance. Eccentric, drug-addicted, and in possession of a wardrobe that reaches every point of the spectrum, Klaus could be seen as the academy’s ‘wild card’ currently. On the surface he appears to demonstrate wit and an infectious energy for life, but internally, he loathes father Hargreeves, and blames him as well for being the catalyst for Klaus turning to his unhealthy habits. Klaus has the ability to talk to the deceased, but can only perform this when he is sober.

#5: Number Five/The Boy. Years before the start of the series, Number Five mysteriously vanished without a trace, and soon after, the Hargreeves siblings would begin to go their separate ways. In the pilot, Number Five returns, still in the form of his thirteen year-old self, with a warning from the future – the world will end in eight days, and Five has no idea what causes it. Though Five does genuinely seem to still care for his siblings, so much time spent lost in the space-time continuum has made him cynical, jaded, arrogant, and with a very relatable dependence on black coffee. Five has the ability to teleport, both through space and time.

#6: Ben Hargreeves/The Horror (Deceased). Killed or passed away by unknown means, Ben’s death seems to have been another factor that drove apart the Hargreeves siblings. Aside from the fact that he has an ability to generate monstrous limbs and tentacles from his body, (which he does not relish) little else is known about Ben. Thanks to Klaus’ ability to talk to the dead though, Ben is still able to keep in touch with at least one of his siblings.

#7: Vanya Hargreeves/The White Violin. A talented violinist, Vanya seems to be the only sibling without any sign of an ability. Her entire childhood under father Hargreeves’ roof has consisted more of her acting as an assistant to train the other, powered children, and being told that there just isn’t anything special about her. Despite this, Vanya doesn’t hesitate to return home and reunite with her siblings once she hears the news about Sir Hargreeves. Since leaving home, Vanya has published a book detailing the secrets of the Umbrella Academy, and outing her siblings’ identities as well, which seems to have created a rift between her and Diego.

This is show that has nicely mastered the practice of raising some mysteries and inquiries, while also still giving the audience just enough answers to chew on for the current episode’s forty-five minute run. From the memorial service onwards, the pilot continues with scenes upon scenes dedicated to simply fleshing out these characters: what they’ve been up to since they parted ways, their relationships with each other, which siblings they bear grudges against, and which ones they’re still loyal to. But because this is the introductory episode, it does have its moments here and there that are committed for pure exposition. For example, a scene featuring Vanya reuniting with Pogo and touring the old mansion where everyone was raised abruptly transitions to the two of them specifically discussing how many days it’s been since Five disappeared, which feels less like natural dialogue, and more like something needed to catch the audience up on Five’s backstory.

As a result of this being a setting where individuals with super-powers do exist, it’s evident from the beginning that this isn’t going to be a world exactly like the planet Earth the spectating audience is used to. What’s so engaging about The Umbrella Academy is that it just doesn’t stop there; there’s a lot of effort here put into the world-building to distinguish this series’ timeline as something that bears some similarities to our own timeline, but is clearly another world altogether. By the time we are introduced to Grace, the children’s android caretaker, and Pogo, I actually realized I didn’t even need elaborations from this show on their own backstories; I had just become so accustomed that this was a world with its own unique scientific advances and phenomena. Once you’ve laid down the law that time travel can and does exist, pretty much anything else goes.

Time flew by during my first viewing of this episode and once Five dropped the bombshell that the world is heading towards an imminent apocalypse and the credits rolled, I was hooked. The Umbrella Academy has a great start for those that enjoy nuanced characters as much, if not more, as they do good story-telling. Because only one episode is a little early for someone to be playing favorites, I suppose I won’t mention then how charmed I immediately became with the characters of Klaus and Five. Then again, from the looks of the internet around me, I seem to not be alone with that favoring.

Name That Tune:

Another wonderful takeaway from this series is its soundtrack, which sifts through multiple genres each episode, and while it often falls back on the trope of playing an upbeat tune to an otherwise extreme fight sequence, it has given me plenty of new additions to my iTunes library, starting with ‘Istanbul’ by They Might Be Giants. Never a song I would’ve thought I’d hear play during a gunfight conflict in a coffee-and-donut shop, yet here we are.

Hargreeves Humor:

Luther: “Look, I know you don't like to do it, but I need you to talk to Dad.” Klaus: “I can't just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, 'Dad, could you just stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?'"

Five: “An entire square block. Forty-two bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, but no, not a single drop of coffee.” Allison: “Dad hated caffeine.” Klaus: “Well, he hated children, too, and he had plenty of us.”

Five: “Guess I missed the funeral.” Luther: “How'd you know about that?” Five: “What part of the future do you not understand?”

Aaron Studer loves spending his time reading, writing and defending the existence of cryptids because they can’t do it themselves.

#The Umbrella Academy #Vanya Hargreeves #Klaus Hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #Diego Hargreeves #Luther Hargreeves #Number Five #Ben Hargreeves #The Umbrella Academy Reviews #Doux Reviews #TV Reviews

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krimto-basi-hahm · 5 years

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how I became friends with brandon rogers: not clickbait

i’ve been making some more brandon friends on here, and I realized that a lot of y’all don’t know my story. I would love to tell it here! for those of you that don’t know him or care, feel free to scroll past lol

(and this whole story updated to the end of 2018 is available here)

2015/2016

I actually found his channel through his first youtubers react episode in december of 2015, but I clicked away because his videos looked stupid to me, lol. after watching the teens react to try me bench, I clicked on a video for the first time (grandpa hates valentimes) in late june of 2016. I grew obsessed QUICKLY. like, I was a full-blown stan in the matter of a few days. I made my fan account on july 7, 2016. unfortunately, the account was taken down by instagram this year. anyway, I also started a youtube channel and made a video for him for his 28th birthday. he saw it and commented:

“Thank you for making this! I was a theater kid too for many, many years!!! I’m glad you’ve been able to find inspiration, never give up on your dreams!! I worked many shirt jobs for 10 years before any success, and would’ve done so for the rest of my life until I did!”

a few months later, I got some friends together and made another video for his 2 million subscriber milestone. he also saw this one and commented:

“Wow, I can’t believe I have such amazing fans who would’ve taken the time to make this for me!! Thank you SO much!!! I’m so happy to hear that people are finding friends through my videos, that’s amazing!!!! ❤️❤️❤️thanks for making this, to all of you!! Much love from the bottom of my heart!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!”

the rest of 2016 was pretty boring, so we’ll skip to 2017!!

2017

for those of you that don’t know, playlist live is a 3-day youtube convention in orlando, florida. I begged my mom to go every year since 2014, and she finally let me go this year. this also was the first year brandon attended!! I decided to make him a jar filled with reasons why his fans loved him, and I gave it to him at the event. I met him for the very first time on may 6, 2017 in the lobby at playlist.

our meet-and-great was scheduled for may 7, so we also met then.

the next day coming home, I just assumed he would forget about me and move on. I was wrong! I received this dm from him over facebook messenger:

I was SHOOK!! I felt so happy that I was able to help him that much when he was going through a hard time. anyway, the next thing I did was make the 3 million subscriber special video and 29th birthday video. he only saw the first one and commented:

“Wow, how have I not seen this yet?!? Thank you so much to each of you for making this video for me!!! This really touched me ☺️ thank you!!!!!!!”

in august, he finally accepted my friend request on facebook!! this was insanely cool because he obviously has a much smaller audience there, and I was able to get his attention easier and work towards really becoming his friend. with our facebook friendship, brandon was able to start to get into my personal life, which was really cool. he commented the nicest well-wishes when I came out of surgery and even wished me a happy birthday!! this year was also when I started working on my next present for him: the book of brandon. this book incorporated fan art, letters, and more. I was able to give it to him at playlist live 2018, so you’ll see me mention this later. onto 2018!!

2018

the beginning of the year started off quite strong, with my debate teacher giving us the assignment to write a speech about our hero. I did not hesitate to write a LONG speech about brandon and post it here. he saw it and commented:

“Thank you for this, it touched my heart and I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen this video until now!! Feeling the love!!”

a few months later, playlist live 2018 rolled around!! before our meetup on april 28, 2018, I jokingly said to my mom, “what if he was just like, ‘oh hey sophie!’?” sure enough, that is EXACTLY what he said as soon as he saw me! the full video of this meetup can be found here, but I’ll summarize if you’re too lazy to watch it. he immediately thanked me for my speech, obsessed over the book I made for him, and basically talked to me like we were good friends. it was MAGICAL.

I didn’t think I would be seeing brandon again in 2018. well, I was wrong. his tour came around, and he announced a performance in tampa, florida on july 15. I was ECSTATIC. unfortunately, I was out of good sentimental ideas for gifts. I made him a wall calendar full of bad pictures of him, as well as a friendship necklace and a letter. at the show, he was looking for audience participation to come up onstage and act out a “fake date.” when he saw me, he said, “omg, this is one of my biggest fans! miss sophie, I recognize you! please come up here.” I was able to watch his entire show from the stage, and even drank from a glass he took a huge sip out of. at the meet-and-greet, we talked just like good friends once again and he gushed about my gifts and videos. he even bragged about me to my parents!

with august rolling around, I made another video for his 30th birthday. of course, he saw and commented. I think this one was his favorite!

“Awww thank you all SO MUCH for making this!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm incredibly blessed to have friends like each of you. Love you all to the moon and back, thank you for making my birthday that much sweeter! :D And thank you Sophie for taking the time to compile this! Take care!!! EDIT: I just made it to the end of the video. fork. I am feelin more touched than a child in prison. I look at many of you and see a younger me, especially you Sophie. I've always felt like an outcast for most of my life; never thought I'd find so many like-minded people. Thank you all so much for taking the time to do this!!!“

a month later, when I was sick in bed, I got the greatest news. brandon was coming to florida AGAIN! this time on november 25 in ft. lauderdale. I couldn’t believe he would schedule two tour stops in florida! this was also his very last stop, so it was a very special show. still out of big gift ideas, I made him a basket filled with lots of small gifts. at every tour stop, he would do a q&a for 10-15 minutes. as soon as he saw me in the audience while starting the q&a, he said “oh my gosh. this is sophie everyone...” I wish I could remember everything he said, but he mentioned how much I’ve done for him as a fan. even though he wasn’t planning on bringing anyone up onstage, he asked me to come onstage with him and help him with the q&a. brandon gave me the power of picking who he would come to in the audience, as well as asking me to answer some of his questions and really including me through the whole process. he even told me he would love to have me in a video!!! pure magic. I have clips of video from this show, so dm me if you would like to see them!!

the last thing that happened in this year was him wishing me a happy birthday again. onto 2019!!

2019

the main thing I’ll be talking about in 2019 is playlist live because that’s the main interesting event of this year so far. a few days before the event, rachel williams (his manager) gave me her phone number to coordinate with them to hang out there!! I made him a big gift bag because I was STILL out of ideas for bigger gifts. on march 2, we had our meetup. he asked the meetup attendant if he could have some extra time with me because I’m “one of his biggest fans”. he then proceeds to tell me...

“I got something for you!”

WHAT? he gives me the gift, and I give him his. we talk briefly before the attendant ushers me along. the two other people there were jon cozart and mac kahey, who both said to me “oh YOU’RE sophie! brandon was telling us all about you!” WHAT? it was a lot to process.

I open the gift and see that he has given me THE shirt BOOK from stuff & sam, THE HEART from blame the hero, a stuff & sam shirt, and a card!!! WHAT? again, a lot to process.

unfortunately, I never got to hang out with brandon and rachel because I got really sick the next day. however, they were both so understanding and carved out a few minutes to see me before I left!!

overall, this year, we have become a lot more comfortable with each other both in person and online, really talking just like friends. I am so incredibly grateful for him and everything he has done over the years.

omg thank you for reading all of this!! dm me to talk or gush about brandon or be friends whatever man love y’all!!

#my post #long post #brandon rogers #youtubers #hotbananastud #fan #fan story #stuff and sam #blame the hero

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sapphiresea · 5 years

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2, 4, 9, 26 :)

lgbt+ ask game

2. how did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? oh, gosh. this is going to be long, and i’m still glazing over all the mental health problems i had that largely stemmed from trying to be someone i clearly was not.

looking back, it seems like it should have been obvious from the outset, really, but it was a process getting to understand and accept my sexuality. you have to know, i was very young when ellen came out, and i had no idea what the words ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ even meant at the time. no one explained it to me, either. i just knew that everyone around me was suddenly saying those words and they were whispered or demeaned, so i knew they were bad immediately. from as far back as i can remember, i held the view that lesbians were disgusting and bad, and that shame buried really deep inside me for a very long time. it was easier to never think about it and pretend than it was to ever let it be a conscious thought.

when i was a kid, i just couldn’t fathom actually wanting to be with a man. i thought relationships were just a matter of custom and doing what was expected because that was how you could have children and a family. my barbies married ken, but then ken went off to war and she spent all her time with her best lady friends. i chose my crushes with internal pro/con lists. i complained often that i hated romcoms because the women were always so dumbly chasing after men and they should just get over it. i could talk about female celebrities for days but ask me my favorite male celebrity, and it was just tumbleweeds. it didn’t even register as strange when, after my first real kiss with a boy, i had to brush my teeth three times and then called my best friend to tell her that kissing boys was disgusting. that just fell into my belief that we were only with boys because we had to be, and because i didn’t allow myself to consider that there might be other options. i was such a textbook baby gay, but there were only two moments that really penetrated into conscious awareness, and they were so jarring that i remember them even now.

the first was when i was 13 years old, and i was sat in my music class when my teacher, seemingly out of no where, decided to lecture us about gay people. i have no idea what was going on before that because it was a spring day and the sunlight from the window was making my hair look red and i was busy daydreaming about dying it all red. i only snapped back when kids started laughing because someone said, ‘gay.’ it wasn’t a negative lecture. in fact, she was telling us we had to be more accepting of people, because she had heard a lot of slurs being thrown around and didn’t like it. she told us, “about one in ten people are gay, which means that at least two, if not more, of you are gay.” my very first thought was, “i wonder who the other one is.” and then, cue panic attack. i spent the whole rest of the day on the verge of tears trying to convince myself that i was being crazy for even thinking that.

the second was in the food court of north hill mall around christmas time with the other steph and robyn. it was around christmas because we were all wearing ridiculous elf and santa hats. we got off school early thanks to a spare period and were picking at takeout lunches when robyn started a rant out of no where about how she couldn’t understand why men found boobs to be attractive. i then became very aware of where my eyes were looking and attempted to focus them anywhere but on my friends in case they could tell how suddenly uncomfortable i had become and thought i was looking at their boobs. they didn’t think that at all, by the way. but steph was agreeing with her and they were going on and on about how unattractive boobs were and steph was throwing in occasional comments about the attractive aspects of the male form and i was just nodding along turning even redder. now it’s not that i really felt strongly about boobs or anything. it’s really just that in that moment, it became painfully clear to me that at least one of the biggest things i had always told myself that everyone experienced was not so ubiquitous an experience as i had initially thought.

actually considering the possibility of straight –– despite the efforts of a therapist i saw twice and then refused to see again as soon as she suggested i might be not-totally-straight (oh and totally in love with one of my friends) –– didn’t come until a couple of years later. it was a new crush of mine, crystal chappell, who was on days of our lives at the time. ooh, i fell hard for carly manning, and i had to look into her other filmography. on twitter and on a forum on her website, people were discussing something called ‘otalia’ and insisting i watch, so i did. that single-handedly changed the trajectory of my life. otalia were the first f/f couple i had ever seen and allowed myself to relate with (i saw willow/tara but was way too deep into the closet to even let myself pay attention to them). over the course of the next few months, my attitude started to shift and a series of bad attempts at dating men, coupled with a new crush on a friend of mine, made me realize that i was definitely into women. i identified as bi for a little while, but within the year, it became pretty clear to me that i had chosen the wrong label and my attraction to men was just a craving for external validation and what i had considered normalcy at the time.

out of internalized homophobia and an illness that screwed with my hormone levels, i identified as ace and aro off and on for awhile. (don’t jump on me, that’s just my experience and i’m not attempting to get into discourse here or generalizing that to anyone else.) but one day, i found that had shifted. i started watching more lesbian media and engaging with other wlw and stopped being afraid of the word ‘lesbian’ like i had been. and nothing has ever felt so freeing in my entire life.

4. who was the first person you told, how did they react? i think the very first person i ever told was a close online friend who was like my internet grandma. i knew she was safe because she, too, is gay. so i kind of just slipped it into a late night conversation on skype and nervously told her i thought maybe i was into girls, and she was the most accepting a person could be. the next day, i told my friend over text while i was in walmart with my mom. i remember thinking from the way we interacted that it was possible she was lgbt, too, and being so, so nervous to be the first one to say it. but i was right. and she became my first girlfriend. so those were really great experiences, actually, and i’m glad those were my first ones.

9. who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? oh man, so many... wayhaught, for sure, are my #1, but i also really love otalia, giani, hollistein, petramos, logan/lara, trishica, and a number of non-canon f/f slash.

26. what identity advice would you give your younger self? gosh, i don’t even know. like i said, i was so deeply in the closet for so long that i’m not sure i would’ve been able to hear it. if i could go back to when i was a kid, though, before all of this, i think i’d tell myself that ‘lesbian’ isn’t a bad word, and that, not only do i not have to be with anyone i don’t genuinely want to be with, but that it is possible to be with a woman, and that it’s okay to make that choice instead of hurting myself trying to bury it.

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