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mishapen-dear · 6 months

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thinking about 4halo again and dying

they just. they used to be so sweet together. and then the election arc managed to genuinely turn them against each other (and bad is still affected by being caged in the museum) and i would NOT have been surprised if a rebellion had started within the next few weeks after their last fight and. they used to be friends and then they almost destroyed each other

and then the eggs went missing

and there are so many parallels between them, but one of the biggest parallels is how they're both protectors. they both protected the eggs (and, when he became president, forever extended that protection to the other islanders) but the eggs went missing and they had to put all of that aside. Forever was quicker to put it down than Bad was (it felt like only a very temporary truce, from Bad's end), but they put their problems on hold, because their eggs. were gone.

and another parallel. the destruction. both of them with their plans to cause ruin because then, maybe, theyll get their kids back. bad caused most of the grieving arc damage directly, and got aypierre and antoine to help him. he dug holes in the ground. he placed mines everywhere and leapt into them. he started the lavacasting process of the fed building (and was interrupted by admins, so he stopped, but philza and fit were still right to laugh at him lmaoo). he drilled a hole through the side of the federation office from a huge distance away. he has chosen to hurt his friends and himself to get the eggs back. whatever the cost.

forever destroyed the island. or he planned to destroy the island. or he was interrupted just before he destroyed the island or or or. I don't know. but it was big, and it was bad. bad enough that the feds had to step in and forcefully drug him, and kickstart the happy pills arc.

and the happy pills arc..... oughghghgh as fucking awful as it was for their characters to experience i genuinely truly think that it saved them from each other. when he was first told about forever being fucked up bad was still in the "i need to kick his butt" mindset, and was all ready for an excuse to kill forever. and then he saw forever. and the first proposal happened. and bad was angry and he was sad and upset and he was careful. forever tried to kill him. bad decided to save him. forever kept trying to marry him. forever kept taking the pills. forever was so scared of his own anger and all of the damage he could and would have caused to his family that he kept taking drugs that kept him so out of his mind he hallucinated his son was just sleeping safely at his house.

and they both tried to kill each other. and they both failed.

and bad showed phil and cellbit (and tubbo) the item scanner that dapper discovered, which could destroy him, because nothing else was working. because they needed to save forever. because bad was reminded by then that forever was a victim of the federation instead of just a mouthpiece for it. and then when forever woke up he saw bad, suffering, and so excited to see him awake.

and now they're here on opposite sides again with forever projecting his protection urges onto the fed worker in bad's basement and bad frustrated that he isn't being believed and his evil plans of giving ron lemons apology brownies is being interrupted and. look at them. soft "i hate you" and the appreciation room and bad's quiet heartbreak when he learned about forever being missing and the "i miss you" book bad got mad at because it asked him not to torture fed workers. does anyone hear me im so ill about them. do you understand they care about each other so much and the happy pills arc reminded them of that. forever realized bad is colourblind and bad assumed forever was poisoning him and then forever helped bad cheat on another colourblindness test and forever was giving bad flowers and bad was accepting them and accepted that he was colourblind despite his previously constant denial and! i don't know if im being comprehensible and i dont really care i will be honest i just need you to know i am frothing at the mouth like a rabid little beast. they are a TRAGEDY of miscommunication and external pressure but they love so so much. platonic or romantic or qpp they CARE and it tears me to shreds

#qsmp #4halo #i feel like ive talked about this exact thing like three separate times but #its one of those things that really Kills Me #and its CRUCIAL to understanding them and their relationship #they were fighting and now have found peace in hell #and forever using his care for bad as a distraction to not focus on his Own woes #and the way he's so sure bad needs help the way he was helped that at heart bad is a good person who doesnt want to be hurting people #and in a Way he's right. bad doesn't want to hurt his loved ones. everyone else? yeah. in a heartbeat. but his family...#but he's still makign the choice to do it. it's not lashign out in desperation the way forever destroying the island was #bad is hurting people with Purpose. he's putting thought into it. he's testing people and their knowledge and their motivations and he will #use them all as tools that can be bent and broken if it means they get the eggs back. he'll do it to himself too #especially to himself #ghhhgrhrgh the way theyre both self sacrificial and self destructive the Parallels the fucking parallels #i can best examine their relationship from a bbh pov and it agonizes me because i can't get all the nuance of forever's pov #because i dont speak portuguese yet :c #so best i can do is talk crazy about them like a Lure for other analyst shippers #pspspssps dont you see my ship. dont you see how canon 4halo is !!! in 8 acts #dont you want to examine them and their parallels and the way they are both so strange about relationships but they're finding a way to car #in a way that works for them #pspspsps #like me talking about qbbh vacation arc got the fandom acknowledging his sillies and directly got me a friend to talk about him to (hi kia!#maybe it will work here also #come to the dark side we have complex relationship dynamics that are frequently misunderstood and mislabelled #YOU can help change the world

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simmyfrobby · 2 months

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What are your top 3 nhl teams with the best vibes?

ooh ok. yea. fun. love this. im going to declare all my biases upfront: im a pens, bruins & wild fan so obviously my nr 1 is:

minny

they have flower. they have kaprizov. they go on homoerotic little holidays together. they have two deweys and one foligno. their captain is pretty and everyone is short. every game is somehow embarrassing. even if they win. especially if they win. 11/10 cant lose.

nr 2: philly

i dont follow them or root for them but i will have nightmares about the dog mask every day for the rest of my life. also they made drysdale come hang out w them during the all star break and that was cute. also the conga line. hardass coach but we stay silly. 9/10 solid vibes.

nr 3: yotes

jason zucker lives there.

#bruins have the goalies ofc #but the ghost of christmas past still kinda hangs over that team and also they like to play soúper frustrating games #that go on for 4 hours and where I feel like I might die the entire time #captain rat gets + for vibes but then 2023 sadbrad hug kills it. if krejc and bergy were still on this team they'd make the top 3 #pens ofc dont make the list despite sunshine boy poj and the fact that erik brings the silly every day #theyre too much of a Serious Old Man Team #bonus points for the silliest own goal in the history of the franchise. points withdrawn for cookie injury i miss him so bad #anne carson asks why does tragedy exist #answer: because old men #because love. because brittle bones and traumatic head injuries.#last year i probably would've answered Seattle #Detroit at the beginning of this season but they um. made some poor hiring choices. rotten rancid vibes now im very sorry for your loss #Edmonton would've gotten a high score from me at the beginning of the season not because the vibes were good but because they were #without a doubt #the most miserable team in the league and i found that to be soooo interesting and fun #How Will The Oilers Lose Next #but theyre good again now so that's less exciting for me #montreal honourable mention for the short slutty guy #love him

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ilynpilled · 1 year

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I think what bugs me the most about the type of analysis that is common in this fandom is that sometimes people are obsessed with not actually looking at choices being made by characters and instead try to project extra-textual symbolism/parallels they pulled out of thin air or use essentialist arguments to predict a certain character’s trajectory. There is already a weird tendency to blame bloodlines instead of institutions, oppressive/destructive social constructs/systems, and abusive cycles. This series repeatedly deconstructs bio essentialist ideas in a multitude of ways. Characters being viewed as monsters for the way they are born is a concept that is repeatedly torn down. There is a combination of nature & nurture at play with these characters, I admit, but it is nuanced. Your environment and your nature are in constant conversation with each other. Certain environmental factors will worsen certain attributes, while repress others etc. Your blood is not evil, nor is it pure, it just is, and your nature will be affected by your rearing, tragedies you face, and the environment you live in. Monsters are created and developed, not born. This whole concept is apparent with all the siblings in the series. Dany & Viserys are drastically different people, and make different choices despite having similar experiences and the same blood. Same can be said for Joff, Myrcella, and Tommen. Another very good example are the Lannister siblings. The twins’ idea of “one soul in two bodies” is deconstructed, and they are faced with how dissimilar they actually are. All three siblings have differences in nature, as revealed by their behavior as young children & their current values and motivations, and they are all shaped very differently by their environment. Cersei is affected by the oppressive system of the patriarchy, Jaime by the trauma due to the violent construct of knighthood, and Tyrion by the rampant ableism of the world around him. Tywin also shapes them by giving each of them their own flavor of parental abuse based on the role he wants them to play in his legacy. It is so apparent just how these characters became what they are, and how they navigate their world as a result of a nuanced combination of nature and nurturer. But in the end, it comes down to choices that they keep making. Characters on the right path can also falter sometimes, weigh their values wrong, and make bad decisions at certain points. Not to mention how thoughts and words do not speak as much as actions and actual choices that are made do. You all take bio essentialist arguments that some characters in the text make at face value, even when it is obviously bullshit. Any analysis that hinges entirely on “this character is the son/daughter of this character”, or “this thing on the surface parallels this other thing from something I read/watched”, “this character is a dragon. Dragons plant no trees”, “this character is a monster”, “this character is from this house”, “this character is related to this character” etc instead of actually looking at what said characters do or try to do is gonna lead to unconvincing arguments that are antithetical to one of the main ideas that this series is built on. To me it feels like these books are communicating that in spite of your birth, your origin, your trauma, your prophecies, etc it is primarily your choices that lead you to where you are and the legacy that you create. Cersei’s prophecy will come true as a result of the choices she makes. Dany’s many prophecies are also as a result of choices she makes, she was not just gifted with everything that she has achieved, she is an active agent who makes choices that push her a certain direction. This is also why it is weird when everybody wants to make characters have a predetermined trajectory solely based on “what” they are, or who they are related to.

Not only does George say this in interviews, it is an explicit thesis statement in the text itself:

This is the concluding statement of Jaime’s ASoS arc. Like “The things I do for love”, “So many vows...”, and “The heroes […] the best and the worst, and those who were a bit of both”, as extremely relevant it is to him in specific, it is a major thesis statement for the series as whole, and overlaps with many characters, just like how other characters also have a bunch of these overlapping arc theses. So can we please primarily look at the choices characters make and what ultimately motivated them to make these choices rather than thinking their ending and what they “are” as characters is set in stone because of the reasons mentioned. I feel like how you all engage with some of these characters contradicts the deconstruction of this kind of essentialism that is so apparent in these books.

#asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #i started writing something big about the aerys cersei parallel #and cerseis trajectory as a whole #and the arguments made for it to be dany instead are kind of wild #its pretty much done but its way too long which is also y i made this post so i dont have to say all this in there #too lazy to add character tags plus this applies to like literally all of them #some more than others based on fandom convos but like #also when jaime writes his page #it is emphasized how awkward his hand writing is #these characters and their journeys are gonna be full of hindrances and complications #and some bad choices #but that does not mean their end is set in stone #it will be whatever they chose and keep choosing

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hayaku14 · 9 days

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kuroba toichi you need to stay dead or im going to fucking kill you myself

#you sick son of a bitch #if you truly love your son you wouldnt be alive #it's bad enough that you basically left the mantle for your teenage son to take up but you actually being alive????????#you just out there living your life while your son is destroying his relationships chasing after something that you started????????#his very motivation is your death and it's not even real??? the utter fucking betrayal???#and maybe being kid has kade him a better magician and has helped him find out more about himself #but he shouldve been able to have a choice if he even wanted to be kid at all it shouldnt have been a responsibility pushed upon him #AND IF YOU ARE FUCKING ALIVE AND YOU'RE JUST WATCHING YOUR SON RUNNING AWAY FROM THE POLICE WITH PRIDE INSTEAD OF GUILT YHEN YOU CAN #GO FUCK YOURSELF #Honestly the worst #also that theory that maybe chikage is travelling the world because she KNOWS toichi is alive and she's with her elevates this fuckery into #a whole different level #anyway go read cuethesun's tomorrow and the next day #good fucking food and bad parent chikage and toichi enjoyers will be pleased ;>#lol #dc prattles #as much as i want happy everybody is alive kuroba family #i need touichi and chikage if she knows too to feel the repercussions of their horrible parenting and i need kaito to be able to let himself #feel the hurt and betrayal that he is justified to feel even if he is happy that his dad is alive #but i dont trust gosho to handle that nicely if anything i think hes gonna just handwave it and wont address it properly #anyway my point is i just need more hurt and angry kaito also if shinichi is there im happy #sorry i sneaked in a kaishin i cant stop the brainrot unfortunately theres no cure 🤚😔#ALSO DONT GET ME STARTED WITH BAD PARENT KUDOS OOOOOHHHH

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bonetrousledbones · 10 days

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oh fuck wait a minute. the amalgamates probably remember resets dont they

#trousled rambles #undertale #i was gonna say at least i only do true pacifist runs but honestly thats still pretty fucking rough for them aint it #no wonder lemon bread is so angry actually. like damn i would be too #flowey doesnt remember true resets but i feel like thats more by choice somehow? idk how but i can’t think of any other reason tbh #but the amalgamates dont have any knowledge about any of that. oooooookay #look dont laugh at me if this is all common knowledge or easily debunked or something it did not occur to me until like right now #and suddenly alllll of the existential horror of them set in at once #like obviously they have always been fucked. but that is So Fucked #my bad guys :(

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okitanoniisan · 1 month

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new rgg fans will never know what they missed back in ye olden days of the fandom (like, 2019), doubly so now that scott strichart's deleted his twitter and jon riesenbach's privated. twitter was so fucking fun and then whatever-the-hell at sega of america happened and caused a fucking snowball effect and now we have shitass localization and resulting discourse that makes every release nigh unbearable, misinformation, confusion, people complaining about "bad writing/mischaracterization" not realizing it's because of the shitass english loc, i'm sitting here like jesus christ these loc bitches massacred saejima's character voice, people will never see him as he was intended, as original yakuza 5 localization Correctly painted him, and now they're coming for kiryu. god help us. we used to be a proper fandom. before everyone was subjected to the remastered localizations and shaky eng characterization. no one had even played yakuza 3-5, people still called morning glory "sunshine" orphanage, kiryu was our only protagonist and people still called him "boring", it was beautiful...

anyway gaiden uses affective instead of effective because the current localization team is full of careless dumbasses who don't give a fuck about ensuring they're using correct english grammar and this is not an isolated incident

#ada speaks #ive been playing through the series again from 0-5 and. yeesh #it goes from LIFE IS GOOD. LOC IS GOOD. to. oh.#yakuza 5's original localization is near perfect and they couldve made it better but instead #they opted for the cost cutting approach and decided NOT to retranslate and instead #just fucking. re-localized the localization and SO much is wrong. so much.#im playing simultaneously with a friend (myself on ps3 them on pc) and seeing the differences #and it happens in y3r and y4r too where #the original line is localized > the remastered line takes it and runs with it bc they have no original translation context #ie. in 3 rikiya says he likes 'wild' dancers. (re: strip club) it gets localized to be him liking 'aggressive' dancers.#in 3 remastered he says he likes AGGRESSIVE DOMINEERING WOMEN and that gets his Gears Turning #or. in 5 shinada says that uno is 'a little sad up top' re: his hair. and 5 remastered he says 'kinda mopey'#because they misunderstood the original english loc and so. completely fucked up the line to mean something else entirely #its like broken telephone #the same is SOMEHOW also happening in 8... i dont know HOW but somehow it fucking is #meanwhile im revisiting zero and going OH YEAH GOOD CHOICE. THAT MAKES SENSE. GREAT WRITING. WOW THAT'S AN A+ INTERPRETATION OF THAT LINE.#i miss the old loc team so bad. bring me back.#its mostly frustrating because i can see the shitass eng writing and still enjoy the game beneath it (unless it's not voiced.) but #i feel so bad for everyone flying blind and forced to take the loc at face value #its been like this since lost judgment but the main story was Fine (if a bit rushed) because. scott was still doing his thing #the substories in lost judgment also felt like they were of the same calibre (shit.) as remastered and. idk.#it seems like its been a shitshow at SoA behind the scenes for Years #and it shows.

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mouse-wife · 4 months

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i hate to ask again so soon but im not gonna b able to stream today and i ran through my savings a lot faster than i thought i would! if u could help me out i would seriously appreciate it

#feels like shit asking for help again when this is basically just my own fault from my own bad decisions #i dont have much choice though! i hope seeing these isn’t too irritating

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tigergendermoved · 7 months

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Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about

#do NOT quote me on those numbers i pulled them straight out of my ass #like the ending was rushed and the diamonds didnt get to be fully developed but liek #the whole reason that was the case is there was an entire 6th season planned #and then the show got axed early because rebecca sugar and crew refused the back down on the rupphire wedding.#and even rushedness aside like the point of the show was never that you should hug fascists and forgive people no matter what #the diamond were rose's (and his) dysfunctional family whose personal suffering became the basis for the cruelty of gem society #bismuth in The Real World would have been right to want to kill the diamonds as a force of revolution #but the point of the show is that even the most complicated people are still people who can change. even if you dont forgive them #even steven quartz universe the most loving boy in the world very obviously does not like being around the diamonds. but that is how it is #it was a children's show that emphasized compassion and communication and family as themes. of course steven didnt kill the diamonds lol #i really fully believe the stevenbomb format (which was not the crew's choice or fault) cooked peoples' brains #you had months between major arcs so every wrongdoing by a character had months to be warped and misinterpreted and so no resolution could #ever satisfy fans who were festering with their own opinions for way too long #like these arcs looking back are not that long and they resolve in fairly reasonable manners but they took fuckin forever in real time to #wrap up #and ppl on the internet with no other hobbies than arguing made the fandom suck to be in and gave su a bad name #even if you dont like steven universe i think the amount of vitriol thrown at the show is/was fucking INSANE for what it is lmaooo #people were so so jolly to accuse rebecca sugar (a jewish lady) of being a fascist/fash sympathizer and paint every writing shortcoming or #morally dubious character action as a sign of pure fuckin evil #ok that was a long ass fuckin rant in the tags i am so sorry i'm just kind of opinionated on this matter as i am all matters #i've been rewatching su with my dad lately and this very normal and well paced and fun watchthrough experience has been illuminating #just how insane and uncalled for the hellish discourse sphere around su was/is #i say was/is i have no idea what su discourse is like nowadays. i'm too scareds to look in the su crit tag

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individuating · 5 months

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#.me #umineko spoilers #umineko #im very open to questions comments criticisms concerns tomatoes thrown at me or possibly a bouquet of roses #i can explain basically all of these. left kumasawa and nanjo out bc we dont know shit abt their relationships btw #i cld have left maria out too but i felt bad #was very tempted to put natsuhi in lesbian but keeping the failmarriage together was too funny #also good/bad alignment choices are based on many factors…def wld have put some characters in neutral if i had the space #also hideyoshi wld be in good het too i just didnt want him third wheeling krauss & natsuhi

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thomine · 2 months

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This is my five billionth time trying to come up with something, so let’s go. Thank you! <3

I’d consider myself an ambivert that primarily prefers being alone to indulge myself in my hobbies, but also hates being lonely. While I wouldn’t consider myself sociable, I’m a friendly person. I can easily chat with most people. I love learning about people and hearing what they like to talk about. But my natural inclination is to cling to my alone time.

I am a very analytical person at heart. I like studying things to know why and how they work. This applies very much so to people. Because of this, I tend to be known as a smart person. At work, I am fast and accurate. I understand how my duties and others work in the big picture. I’m quick to notice when things are wrong and can point out where the error lies. I have a reputation for being a quick and reliable helper.

I’m generally known as a logical person. While I do have a temperament, I’m not seen as emotional. I make decisions with a level head. I’m not weak either. I love debates and arguments. I enjoy raising my voice. I do not hesitate to stand my ground if need be. If I get mad at someone, it’s typically because they’re contradicting themselves or saying something that makes no sense.

That being said, I’m lacking in many ways too. I’ve been told many times that I am a mean person. Apparently my way of speaking makes some feel like they’re being humiliated or mocked. I lack sympathy. I’m too outspoken. I serve primarily my own motives, not others. I’m stubborn, a know-it-all, selfish, etc etc etc.

My biggest insecurity is being misunderstood. I have a hard time verbalizing my feelings/opinions and conveying my intent which has gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past. That being said, what bothers me isn’t being seen as a good and kind person, but simply as being perceived inaccurately. I want to be understood as I am without changing myself to be more palatable to others. I may be selfish and unsympathetic, but I’m more than that.

So who would you pair me with? 👀 @paimonial-rage

this is a gift.

if you would like one of your own, please read my post here that lists what i'm willing to do and what to expect for a non-gift.

i wanted to pair you up with zhongli, ngl. but anyways, picture this:

you're in a debate with someone, temper agitated and argument points hot enough to dissolve your opponent's ego in the akademiya building. such a sight is common in the school, so you don't bother with the stares and looks knowing they'll treat you like background noise eventually. you raise your voice, disturbing those in the vicinity, but your adversary is literally covering their ears to combat your logical brilliance. it isn't long till they declare a stalemate. when you and your opposer part ways, you want to go home quickly but someone taps you on your shoulder...

it's tighnari. maybe you briefly recognize him considering his reputation in the academia and among the forest watchers. maybe you don't, but that doesn't bother him. reputation is just the backdrop of a person, not the person itself.

although... tighnari has heard of you. as you said, you're known as an analytical person, someone smart. he has a penchant for such people, and bonus if they can speak their minds. you're efficient, quick, reliable, which is everything tighnari wished he had in his colleagues. in some sense, perhaps he already has a small admiration for what he heard about you, but he's wary to place labels on these feelings. he doesn't know if you have a favorite color. he doesn't know if you like mushrooms. small steps, it's what he believes in, so when he sees the chance to approach you, he takes it without hesitation.

your debate intrigues him, and he has a few questions. he doesn’t mind talking to you there and then, but he has something to rush for in a few minutes. exchanging addresses to mail each other letters is the ideal thing to do.

you're not a sociable person, but that's not an issue for him. he's alright with initiating. anyways, he approached you, didn't he? after you exchange details, don't be surprised if you receive a letter here and there. at first, it's to expand on your argument, but casual topics are gradually discussed. and conversation, i believe, will flow smoothly with how you're open to hearing him ramble about his interest in plants and the ecosystems of the forest. it will be comfortable, and exciting in some ways, to have him write to you about the contraptions they use at the forest. from traps to capture berserk animals to their machinery of conveniences.

perhaps at some point in your brewing relationship, he invites you to the forest ranger's headquarters. tighnari's hands are shakier than expected, temperament more fragile than ice in the summer. he warns his colleagues with an infamous streak of trouble to not do anything silly, but of course something has to happen. a forest ranger carelessly discarded a trap they used in an old mission, causing the injuries of a wandering adventurer.

he's livid, marching silently towards the crime scene. he insisted that you stay at headquarters and wait for him, but somehow you find yourself tagging along. the guilty forest ranger is doing his best to deal with his mistakes, but his lack of knowledge on medicine makes it worse, causing tighnari's rage to grow.

it's not long till he raises his voice, eyes aimed at one person, tongue reprimanding left, right, front, center. the forest ranger shivers as if stripped naked in winter, and tighnari quickly deals with the adventurer's injuries.

he doesn't bring it up on the walk back or when he accompanies you out of the forest after a long day of planned (and unplanned) activities. instead, it's you. it's a levelheaded conversation, of tighnari's reaction, of the forest ranger's reactions, and ends with practical suggestions on how such situations can be minimized. he had people talk with him about his temper. they always say he acts out of line, but you don't, at least, not without understanding his point of view. you can see why he would be angry.

something clicks in him, and such a situation makes him crave your essence more.

hanging out with tighnari isn't tiring. he is a busy man so time is precious to him. he will plan and arrange days to do certain activities he thinks you might be keen on, but he'll also arrange times to do as each wishes, understanding the need to invest and indulge in one's passions. he doesn't need quick responses from his letters, and neither do you. it seems like he's an uptight person with all the planning, but he's actually extremely flexible, as required in the nature of his job.

of course, not everything is sunshine and rainbows. there are times your harsh and straightforward ways of speech has irked tighnari in his times of stress. he does not appreciate having your words slice through his already thinning patience, and arguments can erupt. it doesn't help that both of you are stubborn. but, he does not fault you for the way you speak or the sides you take. in fact, when others call you selfish, he calls you reasonable. the first rule he learned in biology is that fools don't look after their own needs, and this also applies to humans.

eventually, after having thought through thoroughly of each person's position, logic will prevail. consensus and compromises formed, and arguments quelled.

you say your biggest insecurity is being misunderstood. tighnari is not one to quickly place judgement on people. since the very beginning, he is aware that what he hears of someone is not everything. as researcher of plants and organisms, he knows how assumptions suffocate the growth of a plant. one needs to pause, to observe, to notice, which is exactly what he is. he relies on his senses and experience and less on prediction and universal rules. he is someone in tune with his surroundings; always open to be proved wrong. as a researcher, isn't it exciting when you're faced with the truth that you don't know everything? there is no worry of making yourself palatable for him. he appreciates you as you are, and will do the best within his knowledge and means to make sure he understands you as you.

i hope you liked my analysis.... i'm sorry if it's not a structured as what you did for me, or as interesting or accurate (idk??). i found it pretty hard to write without incorporating some sort of scenario or story so i hope that's alright!

#genshin impact x you #genshin reader insert #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x y/n #ok but abt pairing you with z.hongli it was a joke and then i realized it's ACTUALLY ok. like not too bad of a pair #and at some point i wanted to go with a.lbedo but then at some point i figured this character was a better choice #i have some notes but like i dont know how to explain them at all #ALSO so sorry for the wait. i called myself slo for a reason.... sloth... and slow...... both are me..... orz #this was sent in like the start of the year. this took more than a month omg HAHAH #u know i did joke abt u and a.lhaitham being a good pair but after writing this #i don't think it's bc you make a good pair with a.lhaitham. i think you fit much better with this character #but. but. but. you are literally one of the few selected person i can see a.lhaitham possibly being interested in #and among the smallll list of characters i can see a.lhaitham with you'll be one of the top choices

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lord-squiggletits · 27 days

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Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.

But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).

And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like

Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?

I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.

Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.

And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #this is only like tangentially related to pharma honestly #not to compare blorbos to real life but like. it reminds me of this phenomenon where privileged ppl in privileged countries #will tell ppl living in zones of war and strife 'oh well if you don't like your gov so bad just revolt against them'#like oh yes tell me how easy it is to stand up against the threats of torture and death #surely the only reason people would want to avoid that is bc they're cowards or don't want to stand up for their beliefs #contrary to what nationalism would have ppl believe. 'wanting to not die' isn't a moral position #everyone wants to live. no one wants to die. it doesnt make you a bad person to be scared of dying #esp (going back to blorbo's) in a situation like pharma's where every option he had ended in death #the death of his patients or the death of everyone at delphi or his death personally #on top of the fact he's a noncombatant who hasn't been desensitized to violence/risking his own life #and is dealing with a trained group of killers that he can't possibly match on physical terms #so yeah actually i don't blame pharma for what he did #he made shitty decisions in a shitty situation but was ultimately a victim #also if you want to view the blackmail deal from a framework of abuse #it is also fucked up to basically tell someone they werent brave enough to just kill their accuser or ask for help #isnt the entire point of such situations that the victim is both powerless to stop the abuse #and too afraid of asking for help/thinks they cant ask for help. and thats why they dont just get out #idk sometimes the best moral judgement is to forgive someone or view it as 'complicated'#sometimes regardless of the good or evilness of their actions the best choice is to not make a judgement #or to err in favor of a forgiving/'i cant speak for your experience' judgement #anyways the fact is that the rosy fantasy of being a brave noble soldier who sacrifices for the cause #rarely stands up to reality where youre just terrified and powerless and dont know what to do #and suddenly the rosy glow of The Noble Cause isnt comforting in the prospect of horrible torturous death

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