#too guilty about it to have fun

[animatedtext]

requested by hand-me-my-shovel-im-going-in

#too tired to be productive #too guilty about it to have fun #gif #animatedtext #wordart #rainbow #hand-me-my-shovel-im-going-in

[tinylilvalery]

I wish more people knew it was okay to cross ship Laszlo in the WWDITS fandom.

Laszlo/Nadja = flawless! Laszlo/Colin = amazing! Laszlo/Sean = brilliant! Laszlo/Guillermo = fuck yes! Laszlo/Nandor = fantastic!

Like dude, neither Laszlo or Nadja are monogamous. They both fuck around. The beauty of them is you don't just have to ship them with each other.

#wwdits #this isn't me whining about the fandom #i jus think people see the main ships of the fandom #and then they feel guilty or idk scared to talk about any other ships that have #like dawg this is a house of pansexual vampires and their gay bodyguard #none of who are in exclusive monogamous relationships #have some fun w it #ship everyone w everyone #ESPECIALLY Laszlo #the dude lives to fuck and suck as he says so himself #we KNOW Nadja is the primary love of his life (and he hers) and i don't think anything will ever change that #but it doesn't mean they can't love other people too #like Nadja and Gregor #cmon now #Laszlin #laszlo cravensworth #Colin Robinson #this is me trying to encourage people

[the-trans-dragon]

.

#trying my hardest to let my gender be fluid without being harsh on it #I’ve been finding myself cozy using woman-y words for myself lately and it #makes me feel very tense since I’m afab #I am trans and I’m genderfluid and I’ve spent years with my gender wandering around between many many many genders #agender and trans man and nonbinary and bigender and Demi gender and #it always makes me nervous when it swings towards woman because it feels like #oh now I’m cis okay #and it makes me very afraid that I should be isolating myself from the trans community during that time #like quarantining myself because my gender isn’t trans enough right now #and it feels very weird to be Butch and be androgynous and be seen as a man and a woman by strangers #and to be afab and feel something similar to dysphoria when I’m mistaken for a boy #it feels like I’m larping as a trans woman or fetishizing the experience or trying to claim it as my own when I have no right #the shared experiences of trans women and butches is a long history but I still feel guilty about feeling like I’m trans and like I’m #closer to being a woman than normal #It makes it hard to experience my gender without guilt which is weird #but there’s a ton of fun stuff about it too like being able to call myself a lesbian #or experience happy gender feelings when my wife calls me feminine terms #if I just refuse to worry over other peoples opinions then everything is fine #but I do worry and I am concerned with the opinions of my community and I am afraid I’m doing queerness in an unacceptable way #3: sorenhoots #sorenhoots #soren stresses 3:

[chubs-deuce]

current mood featuring cryptic sona me

#this is tbh less abt me feeling bad and more about the overwhelm of realizing how much I have on my plate in longterm creative commitments #and then my brain deciding to attach itself to silly space kitty and her passively disgruntled alien friend #while I'm only 6 pages away from meeting the update backlog threshhold soe we can update the comic #while I have 3 other longterm projects on the side still waiting to get worked on #I have like 8 videos I have yet to edit and make thumbnails for #6 crochet projects I keep working on only sporadically #and then that AT AU fic I've gotten stuck halfway into chapter 9 on #not to mention the patreon I never touch and refuse to advertise for this very reason #bc I feel super guilty knowing they pay money to see things but never get to see things bc my adhd ass can't do the brainage thing at will #like I'm just involuntarily too flakey #this is also why I don't do commissions anymore #though I might open up some slots for lil icons some time that could be fun #not between lots of travels and art fight tho lmao #also pray for me when the comic actually starts updating again to keep up the work pace #at least a smidge #and that people will actually enjoy what they see #I worked so fucking hard on that shit man I'll cry if someone says something mean #chubs stop rambling in the tags again already #chubs rambles #shitpost

[olivesjaw]

.

#I’m so tired of struggling w/ eating #it’s a long story and I’ve been struggling with eating disorders and lack of appetite from chronic depression and food in general for #essentially a decade now #i thought I had climbed out of it and was eating p well and building muscle/weight by exercising and not restricting my intake but nope #i got weighed at my obgyn’s office the other day and my bmi is way below average and my weight is like 5 lbs away from being as bad as when #i was in the midst of my eating disorder #i spend my entire life fighting and struggling for something better and for health and wellness and I get absolutely nowhere #i don’t even have disordered eating habits or mindset anymore and I actively try so hard to eat three meals a day and stuff in between meals #and get absolutely fucking nowhere #and then just feel bad about how I look bc everybody tells me to eat a cheeseburger bc I’m too thin #it’s like my mind and body just want me dead which isn’t fun when you already think about offing yourself every day !! #I’m ok just tired #and apparently in poor health #and it’s just a lonely experience bc eating is instinctual and easy for everybody but me #i was at my healthiest weight in 2020 and so happy abt it but now I’m back at square one and very defeated #dumb vent post #don’t even get me started on how expensive everything including food is and how I can’t grocery shop without feeling guilty for spending so #much on food bc it’s money I should be saving for emergencies and to get out of my abusive moms house #why does everything have to be a struggle & fight lol I’m so sick and tired #and no none of this is because I am vegan #and yes I’ve seen nutritionists about it who were useless and wound up paying $1k out of pocket for it bc my insurance wouldn’t cover it #ok bye #olive overshares again

[sharkface]

i think a lot of you are conflating the creation of Any Written Fanwork for a piece of media with badly made tropey horny gay fetish fanfic. i can’t be that mad because that content so loudly dominates the sphere of written fanworks but also some of you are clearly sooo scared to have fun writing a little fanfiction once in a while despite the fact that that act itself is entirely neutral LOL

#people who write shipless fanfic of characters just like going to chili’s or whatever > people who write exclusively shipping fix #i too have been guilty of this. but now i’m a grown up and i don’t fucking care and i do what i want and it’s fun #love yourselves. write about your guys getting high as shit and playing mario kart #captain’s log

[ssreeder]

you know, you're just amazing. and not just the fact that you write huge beautiful chapters in such a short amount of time. you also reply to everything. to every single person. and i just can't fathom how much time that takes. and i know you'll say you love all your fans, but all of it must get at least a bit tiring at times. so i guess i just wanna thank you for being such a gorgeous human being. i wish you happiness and rest. take as much time as you need in replying to this. and get yourself a tasty treat because you deserve it

Why are YOU SO NICE?!??

I’ve been staring at this ask thinking “how did someone say something so amazingly kind to me?!”

I just… idk I love you guys & you make me happy everyday with your asks and comments and FAN ART…. & all the enthusiasm you have for my writing and I can’t help but want to give it back!

I do try to respond to everyone because I care about each of you & thanks for noticing it means a lot.

I LOVE YOU ANON!!! Seriously… thanks this was really nice

(& I swear I’m going to finish responding to the comments from last chapter!!)

#I’ve been feeling guilty about still having like 20 comments to answer #I try to balance my free time #but it doesn’t always work #but I would never want someone to put themselves out there #by commenting or sending an ask or a message #& me ignore them #it’s just…. idk you give I gotta give back #I enjoy it too!! #i really love interacting with you #& the discord has been fun so far lol #but thanks for sending this ask #it’s nice to see that the time & effort I give y’all is enjoyed #even if it takes me longer I WILL RESPOND!!! #(like the comments I have left from chapter 14 I promise I’m coming) #I’ll get them answered before I post the next chapter #LOVE YOU ANON #ask #liab #ria

[isthisjackie]

How do I explain to people that I’m super flakey and have very little social bandwidth and that I do appreciate the attention and compliments, and I’m not necessarily ghosting anyone and that I’m so tired I’m not sure I’d recognize a romantic feeling if i felt it

#personal #ok to rb #I’m fine probs #I’m just tired and feel so guilty #i thought I had some crushes and like maybe I do idk #it takes me so long to figure out any feelings for someone #i just want to have fun and be flirty #but I’m always just so so tired #and I like hanging out with people #but I have a hard time texting all day #bc I just get tired or don’t have the attention span #and tbh there are probs a couple of people I think I have crushes on #but I’m literally not planning on doing anything about it #like idk if I have the energy for it #and I know I don’t have the energy for commitment rn #I just don’t want to sit and think about my feelings too much #and I hope that maybe they will go away or I’ll figure out what they actually are lol #I think maybe at least one is more like I just really want to fuck them #actually maybe two are tbh 

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one of the main reasons why sk8 is such a good show (in my opinion) is the characterization of reki.

the fact that reki doesn’t somehow magically get better and surpass everyone, the fact that reki improves but not enough to be the best, the fact that reki gets jealous but not in this complete character-changing way is so important.

i think that’s one of the reasons that i like reki so much.

in media nowadays, the underdog character always becomes amazing, they always win in the end. they have a story similar to reki’s, but it turns out they always just needed a little bit more practice or a different teacher or more self-confidence to become better. there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with that, but it puts this immense pressure on everyone to want to be the best. it makes everyone think that if they can’t win, if they aren’t the best, if they don’t magically improve and become a prodigy, then they’re bad at whatever it is.

but that isn’t the case with reki.

reki tries and he tries and he tries so hard but no matter what he does, everyone else is better and that’s more realistic in a way. he doesn’t magically improve or magically realize that if he does some specific thing then he’ll be better than everyone else, he just isn’t and he becomes okay with that.

as much as everyone wanted reki to win his second beef against ad*m, i’m glad that he didn’t. i would like for him to beat ad*m because ad*m is terrible, but he didn’t because ad*m is genuinely just that good of a skater.

what makes reki losing so important is that even when he loses, he’s proud of himself. he’s happy and he’s okay with second place. what makes it even more important? not one single person in his little found family went “you were so close!” or “you almost had him!” or said anything about him losing because that wasn’t what was important.

here was this seventeen year old kid who they all realized they cared deeply for not because of his ability to skate, but because of his heart. he just basically got tortured while skating, but he finished the race. it didn’t matter to any of them that he lost, they were proud of him because he finished and he was happy. they all knew something was wrong--maybe at this point they know why or maybe reki tells them later--so seeing reki smile and laugh after one of the most purposefully violent beefs ever was more important.

reki is a symbol for being okay with being okay. reki is a symbol for those who aren’t naturally gifted and those who don’t become so much better even after loads of practice.

reki is loved by his friends and he is considered worthy not because his skating ability defined his worth, but because he loves it. that’s something that most of the found family needed to learn, and they learned it from reki.

skating is supposed to be fun--any activity you do is supposed to be fun. it’s really hard to remember that sometimes especially when you’re surrounded by such talented people--especially when you feel left out of left behind because everyone else is becoming better and you simply aren’t no matter how much you try.

reki is a reminder that you don’t have to be the best at what you do. reki teaches us that you don’t have to be really good at an activity to be amazing and that your worth is not defined by your talent.

people don’t often shows these sides of talent and activities. it’s always the underdog becomes amazing or you have to win or you’re a failure or you can become the best by practicing a lot and the thing is? that simply isn’t true. practice helps, sure. reki did improve when he practiced, but not by a whole heck of a lot. he isn’t on cherry’s level or joe’s level or miya’s or shadow’s or langa’s, and that’s okay.

you can still be important and you can still be a main character and you can still do something that brings you joy even if you aren’t amazing at it.

there are many great things about sk8 and many great things about kyan reki, but this has got to be one of my favorite things about them.

#i have a Lot of feelings #i just took a three hour nap because i got. not as much sleep as i should have last night and i felt SO guilty sleeping because i have #homework and i want to write and sometimes i look on tumblr and see everyone posting fics and art and i'm simply. not. #because i have too much homework sometimes or i need to choose sleep over writing (which doesn't happen to often oops) and i feel that fear #of falling behind and i feel like my worth is based on how much i write / how much i post and i know deep down that isn't true because all #that matters is that i enjoy writing and that i have fun and not having as much time doesn't mean i'm automatically worse than all of you #and that's one reason why reki is so special to me because he was that reminder that i needed--especially after my super busy summer when #i truly didn't have time. not to get like sappy in the tags but i've never been the gifted one. no matter what i did i was never great at it #you know? i tried so much when. i was younger and kept getting frustrated because i simply was Not as good as everyone else or not as good #as my sister and my friends. one example specifically is in marching band. i did it fo four years and i was always one of the weaker links. #i wasn't the best at marching and i wasn't the best player--in fact i always struggled to play harder stuff because reading music doesn't #come naturally to me and learning to play an instrument was really hard and everyone in my section was amazing and there was this stigma #about being in concert band and how being in concert band meant you were bad even though it just meant there wasn't enough room in the #higher bands but the band director made me feel less than because i was in concert band and because i wasn't as good as everyone else. it #sucked and sometimes no matter how much i practiced i just couldn't do it and i hated myself for it and i hated myself for not being good #enough at writing to get published in spectrum junior year and i hated myself for not being as smart as my friends and doing worse than them #on everything no matter how hard i tried and i hated myself for not having something i was really good at or better at than my friends #and i still haven't completely gotten over that but wow does reki get me emotionally. wow is reki important to me. he was the character i #needed when i was younger and like gahhhh sorry this is kind of emotional i just like had a dream that made me :/// and it made me think #about this so yeah just this is why reki and sokka are so important to me and this is why i love that reki didn't win a beef #reki is just SUCH an important character in media and he’s written SO WELL #i cannot express how genuinely elated i am to have a lead character who isn’t the best and stays that way and the lesson of the show about #happiness AHHHH IT GETS TO ME IT’S SO GOOD WJSBEKNDND #kyan reki #sk8 #corey rambles:)

[i-have-doubts]

alright confession: I dont get follower celebrations or tumblr users' birthday celebrations or any of that. I'm not raining on anyone's parade, like you do you. everyone seems to be having a blast so yay. but I can't imagine having people celebrate how many tumblr followers I have. and I certainly can't imagine telling any of y'all my birthday. wild

#again im glad y'all are having fun and i feel kinda guilty posting this because i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable #but no like really i cannot understand all of this #to be fair im BIG on anonymity. like the name in my bio is neither my legal name nor my chosen name #i only put my age so any minors on here can know i'm an adult and avoid me if they like #i only put my gender and sexuality for solidarity reasons/to not get in trouble for my spicy hot queer takes #in reality i want no one on the internet to know anything about me #also most of the time i have no idea what my follower count is #i do not submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known #but im also very aware that most people arent like this #people be posting selfies on the internet and everything #i have put 1 (one) photo of me online in the last 5 years and it was for a dating app so #i even try not to use the same username across too many platforms/games so i cant be found #i am very much an old man who wants to be off the grid #the only people who know my real name online is the people i did the charity stream with and actually i wish i'd used an alias #so

[knighting-vale]

look i’m all for discussion and criticism and totally happy with extensive analysis/imagination around pieces of media, but there is a painful comedy in seeing people online discuss movies and shows for CHILDREN with very clear lessons about nuance, empathy, and kindness and completely missing the point in very painful ways

#*presses fingers together* #a 1 and half hour children’s movie is going to have a happy and safe moral lesson because that is it’s genre and purpose #if you want long complex emotional breakdowns of trauma please watch something else #like a say a nice recent movie has come out which is fun and bright #and has the overall message ‘family is complicated but if you accept and love people and communicate clearly you’ll be happier & stronger’ #it’s great to discuss and enjoy the movie and there’s probably a lot to relate to in that BUT #it isn’t gonna be a super in depth analysis and break down of generational trauma and the long-lasting damage from loved ones #it will deal with those themes in a way which is accessible to 5+ year olds and teach them to talk to their siblings rather than get angry #and like the movie is very clear that this is a nuanced complicated situation and it has exaggerations as a CHILDRENS FANTASY FILM #and I sympathise with people who have been through bad family situations and see their experience in this film #(it’s designed to be relatable and I definitely see myself and family who I’m close to in some of these dynamics) #but if your satisfying end/healthy move with your family is not reflected in a children’s movie then it’s not automatically bad #media isn’t your therapy - it can’t be: it can be valuable but you need to take care of yourself first in ways not to do with movies #I have a friend who asks me to vet things for endings with all happy forgiving families as she doesn’t talk to her parents #and it will make her sad and guilty. so she avoids them as it’s her trigger - but not an evil movie or lesson #like teaching an 8 year old arguing with a sibling or under pressure from parents that they are a good person as themselves #and that love and communication are good options and that family can be a little complex but that’s ok #it’s not going to ring true for someone in their 20s who doesn’t speak to homophobic family and #that is entirely fair and fine. sometimes media won’t work for you or the clumsier aspects of a topic will sting too much to enjoy it #but spending hours on the internet venting about how a kids movie doesn’t deal with very complicated topics in a way that satisfies you #is not healthy at all #(also disclaimer: this is not about discussions about culture or commercialisation which are very very valid) #like take all media seriously and you can read into it and see yourself as well! #but step away when needed and don’t spend hours calling characters abusive and getting furious when they aren’t punished by the narrative #and don’t fucking send me asks about supporting abuse cause I reblogged some art from a fun film I watched with friends #passion around media is wonderful and I support those discussion but it is just media and it’s scary how people cannot switch that off #like perspective and genre and deciding a thing is Not For You are VERY NECESSARY when engaging in fandom #also I’ve seen people getting so fucking nasty about a kids movie teaching kindness and that’s a wild sense of ~irony~ there #like the most vitriolic critics of kids shows and films in general are often the ones that really need the base lesson being taught

[lezhoneybee]

figuring out that I'm femme when most of the other people in my head are butches actually has been so fun!

We have always had a deep appreciation for femmes, ofc including those that are butch4butch, but it's definitely a different experience to BE the femme. Like oh I can actually feel pretty and hot and happy in dresses?? Very fun and cool!!

#trying not to spend too much money on clothes rn #but i just want to go shopping for skirts and dresses and cute shorts and accessories etc #also takes us even longer to shop now bc we have to go through ALL the sections #but we're having so much fun im trying to not feel too guilty about it #im also not the only one here that likes more feminine stuff we're just def not the majority lol #personal

[readyforit]

JESUS CHRIST IM SO BLUE ALL THE TIME AND THATS JUST HOW I FEEL ALWAYS HAVE AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!!!!!!

#feel free not to read this it’s me venting about life! how fun #IM SO SICK OF MYSELFFFFF #UGHJFKDOGMFKFKFK everyday i’m so shy and awkward and homesick and too tired to function normally and nothing helps #my mind is so all over the place i wish i could just breathe #everyday is like a struggle to get through and then i feel guilty cause i should be grateful and I AM #it’s just that #everything’s great except for my brain! i can’t focus and i’m always anxious and sad and tired #and it’s been this way for so long that i can’t imagine living life differently but it’s like there’s this weight on my back #and one day it’s gonna crush over me #every single day for the last few years has felt like i’ve been drowning #with a crowd of people standing around me telling me to just get up #i don’t know what to do with myself i jsut keep sinking and sinking and sinking #i don’t even know what’s wrong! everything seems fine but my head is like a swinging pendulum and my world is always some shade of blue and #everything feels wrong no matter what i do it’s like i’ve been screaming for so long i can’t hear myself anymore #i don’t know who i am i don’t know what i want in life i don’t really have any dreams or drive or ambitions i feel like such a waste #i don’t know what i’m living for when nothing makes me happy i always feel sick sick sick #i’m so unproductive like i can’t get myself to focus in class or talk to people most of the time and it takes forever to get out of bed #i can’t get close to people and i pull away and i constantly change because i can’t stand myself and think everyone is just being nice #but secretly can’t stand me either #i feel like i’ve always had anxiety related issues that i repressed all through childhood and it just got worse and worse #and then the pandemic hit and i reached a new low and that just made things way worse #and somehow everything has changed since then but i mentally still feel as low #i can’t be myself i feel like i’m not worthy of anything like i hate labels because i don’t feel ‘good’ enough for them #or to be part of some community #i feel guilty with everything i do like even typing this post i feel guilty for making my issues public and making people read them #and i feel guilty acting like they’re even that big of an issue when i’m so lucky to be living the life i’m living #i feel like i’m being so dramatic 💀 and that’s why i never like venting out loud but this was actually kind of therapeutic #maybe i am being dramatic and that’s why i need a new brain! #at least writing helps #abigail speaks*

[anxiously-awaiting]

not to be Riot moments but as a person with Problems its very important to me that (my) lance is ~the greatest of all knights~ and also has fucked up legs/anemia/fatigue issues but ALSO mala gets injured in the whole sorelois/camelot war thing and gets similar leg/anemia/fatigue issues and he comes to terms with not being able to do what he could before and just! kinda hangs out n doesn’t beat himself up over it

#its abt the power fantasy of being cool and powerful without pretending the disability doesn't exist (he's got his knee brace) #but also the fantasy of. getting to take a gay little nappie in ur partners arms without feeling Guilty about it #for clarities sake: as far as i know #lance(lot) as portrayed in the long history of arthur(Iana) hasn't been portrayed as disabled #nor has mala(guin) on the few times he's showed up #but this is my little gay retelling/adaptation/brain word machine #and im allowed! #its fine #also lance is make 10000% sexier by being disabled no i don't take any comments at this time <3 #*made #lance probably has a cane too he's just very bad at judging his pain and remembering that he's like. Allowed to use it whenever ljfkdjklf #they probably have some sort of like. magic painkillers too bc this is fun medium fantasy fkldsjlkf #middle fantasy? #it's TECHNCIALLY a high fantasy bc it doesn't take place exactly on earth #but it's got a more low fantasy vibe ig? #i dunno kfdlkfsd #im just rotating lance in my brain

[moonlightfilly]

Donna was one of the best companions specifically because she didn't have any sexual tension or romantic attraction to the Doctor. Like yes we all love Rose and we're always going to love Rose, but Donna was with the Doctor out of genuine platonic affection for him. Not because she was hoping for anything from him, but because she enjoyed his world.

Yes!! Donna just being besties with The Doctor is one of the top reasons why I enjoyed her the most tbh (besides the fact that she's absolutely badass). Rose is amazing obviously, DoctorRose forever, but it was so refreshing to have a companion that wasn't dating The Doctor or spending the whole season WISHING The Doctor loved them (sorry Martha). Donna and Ten were genuinely just having a grand old time together as best friends doing epic things together while bringing out the best in each other and I love that for both of them so much! Especially at the point they both were at in their lives, they both needed a best friend like that so badly.

#i just love how they were best friends just having fun #and i think that was a relief to Ten too bc he was still hung up on Rose and felt so guilty about Martha #because he couldn't return her feelings and that was a reason she left for her own good #the relief he felt to just have a FRIEND not complicated just caring and fun reminding him of what he loves to do #and what's important ('Just save someone') #and she knows about Rose. she knows what she means to him and he doesn't have to feel guilty about that #Donna Noble #The Doctor #Ten #Doctor Who #ask #octopisunsets

[gxlden-angels]

* "Unique" Pastor Voice* Yeah I bet you haven't heard this one in your old church! We don't call it Easter here! Easter is too worldly! We call it Resurrection Sunday to disconnect from the fun worldly celebration styles like egg hunts and chocolate bunnies!

#my churches did them anyway but you were constantly bombarded with 'remember this part is worldly :)))' #'time to feel guilty for enjoying a fun celebration instead of wanting to think about a historical execution despite being a small child :)' #n e ways I didn't kill Jesus and certainly didn't kill him by wearing a shirt instead of a dress #and then I have sensory issues that got ignored cause dressing up for easter was too important #look at me now I'm the epitome of stable mental health :) /s #ex christian #religious trauma #religious abuse

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Does it ever seem to you like some anti-Jedi people can be really... condescending? And mocking? They don't just deliver their opinions, they put the Jedi and everyone who loves them down. Whenever someone offers a counterargument in defense, they (almost scoffingly) tear into it. It comes across to me as laughing at the Jedi Order. Yes, I am thinking of specific tumblr blogs, but I won't name them because I don't want to start drama.

I think it's unfair to judge anyone by how much they like or dislike a certain fictional character. I suspect most of the problems we have with people who don't like the Jedi simply come from the fact that there are so many of them. Any large group on the Internet is likely to have more obnoxious people than the smaller ones.

I mean, I know a couple of people who love the Jedi and engage in every one of the behaviors you described. It can be just as annoying to see.

Honestly, the block feature is your best friend. If there really are blogs that are too abrasive or just plain insufferable and you don't want to deal with them, block 'em! You don't owe them your patience, only your civility. Blacklisting them with Tumblr Savior is also a great option if blocking feels uncalled for or too radical.

#ask #anonymous #i'm the first to be guilty of this but we star wars people take ourselves way too seriously #seriously i don't even care anymore that people don't like the order #i'm just here to have fun #as long as they're polite - yeah sure it's annoying because i've heard their arguments a thousand time #but it's still far better than people who agree with me starting shit on my posts #(and by starting shit I don't mean engaging in debates) #(i mean being deliberately aggressive or rude) #(I really appreciate people defending my arguments or being enthusiastic about the jedi or even venting about the fandom) #(but attacking other people's character over an opinion is a big no no)

[fabulouslygaybean]

i wish i could force myself to follow my own advice on expressing yourself the way you'd like to bc it just makes me look like a hypocrite and/or idiot

#dont fucking rb #like. idk. id love to dress how id love all the time but im too much of a fucking coward to do that #my rsd is so fucking bad that it feels like my stomach is being violently ripped from my body every time i get weird looks and its hard - #- to justify making myself happy by expressing myself when it often just makes me feel awful if im not careful #i WANT to have fun with the way i physically express myself. god i want to. but i feel so trapped bc of my awful fucking brain #its so easy for other people and i hate that im genuinely jealous of them. i wanna have fun like that. i wanna make myself happy like that. #i wish i could let myself wear tank tops without feeling anxious bc of dysphoria and acne and scars #i wish i could wear jewelry and chains and such without wanting to shrink into myself because people stare at me for the noise it makes #i wish i could let myself mess with my hair without feeling terrified about going too far #i wish i could play with clothes without feeling guilty for not just sticking to one style #idk!! i know its fucking stupid!! people tell me that im just being an idiot for it!!! i know full well that i am!!!! #but god it feels like im trapped #its such a stupid problem and i should shut up about it but god its bothering me #and this is my blog and i get to say what i want to here #this turned out a lot angrier than i wanted it to. my emotional regulation has been out of wack the past few days. #i wish i didn't get pissed off as easy as i do but oh fucking well ig. this is a rant and im just gonna let myself have this. #delete later

[autismcupcake]

GOD people who hate oc x canon are so fucking boring. Like sorry you don't know how to have fun I'm going to keep making silly content <3

#you're just mad because you're too afraid to give your favorite characters an emotional support manlet <\3 #ask to tag ajswfsv #like...... girl #people who ship ocs with canon characters are literally just having fun??? #like shipping aside some people just hate when you have OCs interact with canon characters like can you IMAGINE if I was #too scared to let my ocs interact with canon so I kept them in a little isolated circle #/nbh btw I'm just thinking #this post also serves as a reminder to ME when I feel bad/weird/guilty about my ocs interacting with canon characters in my fics/art/brain #*holds my ocs and their relationships with characters canon or otherwise* I just think they're neat!

[mallgoth-hamlet]

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#researching stuff like szpd a lot really makes me have to look at and wonder how other people view/want from relationships #just cause in that case one of the criteria ‘having no close friends and loved ones’ #which I’ve always thought I do cause I’m close to my (direct) family and have a handful of friends #but then reading more detail about being able to connect through people with shared interests or hobbies #but avoiding being emotionally close to others #and I was like oh is that what most people consider being a close friend? #do other people define close friend as someone you can talk about feelings and personal problems with #because I want that from no one and I have to distance myself from people if they start oversharing too much #or want to vent or want emotional intimacy or whatever #I’m not just indifferent to having that in a relationship I’m deeply averse to it #and it makes me so uncomfortable and I need to keep myself from getting involved in stuff like that #cause otherwise I get so anxious and burnt out #but I love talking about my special interests with people who also love and are excited about the same things #and it’s fun to casually hang out #to me that’s what being close with someone is #so it’s weird for me to realize a lot of people desire intimacy and emotional vulnerability and closeness from friends #which I have no desire for #and that really doesn’t bother me at all. I am perfectly content interacting with people solely #through mutual excitement and interest over something #but it does make feel guilty realizing and worrying that I’m a bad person or friend #for needing a lot of distance emotionally #and not wanting that at all #anyway. shrug emoji this is t even me venting just wondering aloud.