#touch repulsed

[redysetdare]

Accept and support repulsed people or die by my blade

#text #aspec #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #aroace #sex repulsed #romance repulsed #platorepulsed #touch repulsed #any other a-attractions and repulsed ppl are included too #i just don't know them all im sorry

[chupapijules14]

DAY 2 LET'S no touch tuesday, Vox gtfo of here

#fanart #digital art #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #vox #hazbin vox #hazbin alastor #alastor #acealastorweek2024 #ace alastor #touch repulsed #radiostatic #staticradio #vox x alastor #kinda atleast #asexuality #ace #radiosilence

[mintflavouredwhump]

A whumpee who has haphephobia. Even a simple touch feels like they're being branded and they would do anything to avoid it. Unfortunately, not everyone takes it so well and some people even go as far as deliberately violating the whumpee's boundaries and calling them oversensitive when they shy away.

#it's me. i'm whumpee #haphephobia #touch aversion #touch repulsed #whump #tw whump #whump prompts #whump scenario #whump writing #whump inspiration #ides of whump

[ober-affen-geil]

Ok so having just started the Murderbot Diaries series by Martha Wells I was going through the Murderbot tag here and noticed 2 things. 1) people yelling about respecting Murderbot's canonical and consistent touch-repulsion but not really supplying any alternatives and 2) at least two pieces of art of what seemed to be people attempting to either respect (charitably) or get around (uncharitably) Murderbot's touch repulsion by having it "link" or "hold" pinkies with someone for comfort.

As someone who is....not exactly touch averse or repulsed but certainly touch neutral (it's not something I flinch from but it's also not something I seek out or really enjoy) I thought I could provide helpful insight for both points: namely, "here is how someone who doesn't enjoy touch would prefer it to be substituted because humans are pretty touchy feely and getting your brain around someone genuinely not enjoying that is tough" and also "this is why touching just pinkies is not the loophole you think it is".

Keeping in mind this is more meant to be for fic reference, but if it helps with insight for real life that's great too. For clarity, this is based on my experience which is mostly for sensory reasons and is not in any way trauma related; others may have different experiences.

I will start with the pinkie and why that's........super not great actually, because it will help get into the headspace which will help with "what to actually do instead".

The thing is, linking pinkies as a substitute for holding hands, which seems to be how it's being used here, does not "get around" touch aversion because it's not enough contact to "set it off". It actually does the opposite (for me). Now I have to be hyper aware of how much my pinkie is curled, how high am I holding my hand, how far away from my body is my arm, does it feel like I'm pulling on *their* arm or hand or pinkie, is my hand sweaty, do I have an itch, I can feel my joints creaking as I struggle not to move too much lest I dislodge them...etc. If the point was to offer me a point of contact that was small enough for me to be able to not notice it too much? It failed. Badly. I'd rather have a full body hug.

Linking pinkies doesn't work as a loophole because it fundamentally misunderstands the main source of the touch aversion: concentrated hyper awareness of the body. The smaller the touch the more tightly concentrated the awareness is, and the worse it will be. It's also a non-standard kind of touch which means there is NOTHING to go off of in terms of what is wanted from you, aka its a very difficult touch to "perform" (yes I'm talking about masking). Edit: Also! Your fingertips and finger pads are *designed* for sensory input! And are a part of your body that is nearly almost always uncovered! Which means a) practically GUARANTEED skin to skin contact which is Worse and b) congrats, you picked one of the few areas on the body that is Designed To Tell A Person They Are Touching Something.

What a touch averse person would prefer, if you wanted to offer comfort or convey affection, is to first and foremost *not to ask them to perform for YOUR comfort/frame of reference to begin with*.

Words of affirmation, a simple hand gesture (such as placing your hand over your heart), literally just asking them if they want to talk, sitting in silence with them (engaging in parallel play), or perhaps offering a blanket/comfy clothes/food are all much better ways to actually offer a touch averse person comfort or intimacy while also still respecting their boundary.

Actual "loopholes" in (my) touch aversion include incidental contact that doesn't last and is ignored/meaningless to all parties (such as brushing past someone or being in a crowded space), the "mom" override (when I know someone really needs physical comfort in that moment which, tbc, is doing fuck all for me and is entirely about the other person), and functional necessity (such as medical attention or grabbing someone to help them up or keep them steady). (In case anyone was keeping track, Murderbot has shown all of these "exceptions" to my knowledge.)

I just. Hope this helps with understanding the mindset instead of just being beaten over the head with "respect touch aversion or you are ableist" because i do understand its hard to wrap your head around. But we deal with it so frankly, you can deal with it too for a change.

#Murderbot #the murderbot diaries #Touch aversion #Touch repulsed

[touch-repulsed-culture-archive]

Touch averse culture is liking touch in theory, but when someone actually touches you, you're like "why did I ever think I wanted this"

~

#touch averse culture #touch repulsed #touch averse #touch aversion #mhm mhm

[rjalker]

Here's an apparently radical concept for people to get through their heads:

If you know someone doesn't like being touched, for any reason, and you want to respect their boundaries? You want to actually show them you respect them and care about them?

Don't even ask if you can touch them. Literally just do not ever try to touch them or even ask them to let you touch them. Literally just leave them alone.

#actuallytouchaverse #actuallytouchrepulsed #touch averse #touch repulsed #touch aversion #touch repulsion #writing prompts #story ideas #<- tagging so ableist fuckers see this and stop their gods damned bullshit #writing #writing tips #athiktomisia #ableism #discussion of ableism #solitaremit #actuallysolitaremit #actually solitaremit #solitaremitiy #discussion of athiktomisia

[beware-of-kat]

I want comfort but I’ll bite the hand that tries to soothe me

#actually did #actually dissociative #actually osdd #catkin #dogkin #maybe #questioning therian #it’s a broad term leave me alone #touch repulsed #touch averse #touch starved

[aromanticduck]

Sensory issues nation: anyone else kind of dislike the texture of skin?

My hands are used to it, but with most other parts of my body, skin-to-skin contact (even with my own skin) is kind of blegh. I don't sit in certain positions when wearing shorts because my leg touching my other leg annoys me.

It's honestly funny, because that's the texture of me - and I don't like it!

#sensory issues #touch repulsed #bad texture #bad textures #organic home grown content

[shiutsu]

I made an apl bingo!!

(The user is my reddit un, but since it didn't get any rate in the one I posted it into and the main aro is automatically deleting my posts,I have to add it here)

#arospec #aromanticspectrum #loveless aro #aplatonic #loveless aplatonic #aplspec #aplatonic aroace #alloaro #aroallo #loveless aroace #actually aromantic #aspec community #aspec positivity #aspec stuff #aspec representation #platonic attraction #bingo fill #aesthetic attraction #romance repulsed #touch repulsed

[redysetdare]

I wish that touch aversion/repulsion was treaded like a reasonable boundary instead of a flaw that needs to be fixed.

#text #touch averse #touch repulsed

[chaoticfandomthot]

The duality of men [wanting to be held vs touch repulsed]

#touch starved #touch repulsed #they are fighting #aiden originals #am i queuing this right

[loveandscience]

me, wanting to scrape off my top layer of skin whenever people besides my husband touch me: 😬 must... restrain... self...

#touch aversion #touch repulsion #touch averse #touch repulsed

[touch-repulsed-culture-archive]

touch repulsed culture is that warm feeling you get when someone always asks before they can hug you, and firmly respects your boundaries when you say no

~

#touch repulsed culture #touch repulsed #touch averse #touch aversion #yay :]

[rjalker]

PSA since I haven't mentioned it in a while:

"Athiktomisia" is a term for ableism specifically against touch averse people, because just calling it general "ableism" is too broad and just gives people excuses to ignore you.

It comes from the greek word that means pretty much "untouchable".

Solitaremit / solitaremity refer to a touch averse person who does not get touch starved and does not crave touch in any way.

Solitaremisia is athiktomisia specifically against touch averse people who do not want any kind of touch ever.

because even within the touch averse community there's still the idea that you must crave touch even if you don't enjoy it, or else there's something horribly inhumanely wrong with you -.-

@solitaremit is a sideblog I created to try and archive info about it.

#touch averse #touch repulsed #athiktomisia #ableism #touch-averse #actually touch-averse #actually touch averse #touch aversion #touch repulsion #actuallytouchaverse #actuallytouchrepulsed #actuallysolitaremit #actually solitaremit #solitaremity #solitaremisia

[beware-of-kat]

Being touch repulsed while craving comfort is like being surrounded by food you are severely allergic to while starving to death.

#actually dissociative #actually did #actually osdd #touch starved #touch repulsed #trauma #touch averse

[st-ivangeline]

As someone who has issues with people touching me , i’ve very selective with who gets to touch me and how, my grandma has the tightest sharpest grip when she’s trying to get my attention it literally freaks me out so bad i feel like i’m going vomit she like grabs me and i don’t think there’s anyway i can explain to her to not do that, i’m already so fcking anxious today

#touch repulsed #aro #personal