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sword-brainrot · 7 months

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Toukentober Day 1: Leader

sword: Hizen Tadahiro contents: angst with happy end word count: 2500K cw: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, PTSD, Scars, Blood, Bad Injury, Mentions of Death

overview: First mission out that Hizen has given the leadership role. An unexpected outcome to the killer's sword but the saniwa put their trust into him, even if he is quite distant from the sage. However, when he arrives back with the first team - things are not what the saniwa had expected and runs to confront Hizen.

“Aruji!! The first team is back!”

Lightning crashed with the thudding rain droplets, the citadel shook as the silhouette of someone in the doorway to the library that the saniwa was currently resting. Their head rose and looked at the poor sword that was drenched from the heavy rain outside. What weather to welcome back the first team, perhaps they should treat them to some cookies for their hard work and make up from the lousy weather. Most of the swords were huddled together somewhere in the citadel staying warm from the bitter cold, yet the swords that just arrived home had to walk through the raged storm. The saniwa closed their book as they sat up in their big chair near the fire, a smile on their face as they looked at Hotarumaru.

“Lovely. Please tell Hizen to see me to give me the overview of the mission when he cleans up. What a shame that on his first mission he is the leader and he has to come back to such miserable weather.” They clicked their tongue slightly with a fond smile on their lips as they rose to put away their book, “Please tell him to take his time. I don’t want to rush him after he worked so hard.”

“Um…” Hotarumaru started only to fall silent. His hands fiddled with one another as he rocked back and forth on his feet. His green eyes stared at the ground, refusing to make eye-contact as he tried to find confidence to start the next sentence.

Immediately, the saniwa paused from putting the book back into the bookcase and looked over at the small Ootachi. This smile fell as the cold air of the storm swooped in and stole their breath away. Even being so close to the fire, it felt as though winter had come early and threatened to freeze them alive in the very spot they stood. They tried to wait patiently for Hotarumaru to continue but it seemed like they weren’t going to be able to do so without further prompting. Their heart raced as they asked: “What is it?”

The firefly sword snapped out of his nervous trance, his body straightening and his arms falling to their side as his grassy green eyes locked with the sage’s. His eyebrows were knitted in concern as he said the words that the saniwa never wanted to hear.

“He was taken to the infirmary. He was badly hurt and-”

Thunder boomed almost as loud as Hotarumaru’s words. The book that almost made it back to its home in the bookcase crashed to the floor as the saniwa sprinted out of the library, not bothering to hear the rest of what Hotarumaru was about to say or to grab a form of protection against the storm. It didn’t matter how the thunder rattled their bones or how the rain pelted their skin as they ran to where Hizen laid. What mattered was that the sword they chose to lead the mission was now badly hurt and the responsibility rested upon their shoulders. It was supposed to be an act of trust from the saniwa to Hizen. He was always so distant and always reduced himself to just being a killer’s sword. He was there to kill and that was it. It didn’t matter that he liked sake, or sweets. It didn’t matter that whenever he killed, he shook from the action of it.

But it mattered to them. Hizen mattered to them.

It was meant to be a simple mission with no killing. They made sure of it. They did their research so Hizen could see that they could lead a group. That he was more than capable of doing more than just killing and he didn’t have to settle to be defined by his past. Why did this happen?

The door rattled as they pushed it open with a rushed and forceful movement. Their body was dripping wet, their cheeks rosy from the cold, and their body shivered from either the cold or the situation that was presented to them. Inside the Infirmary, Hizen laid in the bed as Monoyoshi dabbed at his wounds and wrapped them in clean wrappings. Hizen’s hair had droplets of rain that was mixed in with his red and black locks. His eyes were painfully closed as new wounds littered his body. He was bleeding from everywhere. Any new bandage was quickly colored red. His left eye opened faintly to look at the saniwa, only to painfully shut once more as Monoyoshi dabbed on more medicine to his shoulder where the deepest wound lay. It was already stitched shut but it seemed like needed a bit more disinfection before he could wrap the bandages around it.

“What happened?” A ghost of a voice rose in the quiet room that was drowned in the music of the thudding rain. It was shaky and barely recognizable, but it was surely the saniwa’s voice. When did they speak? Their mind was everywhere, yet only in one place at the same time.

Monoyoshi finished dabbing the ointment on the tender flesh before throwing away the new soiled cotton ball. A normally shining face now only gave the faintest smile as they walked over to the saniwa and brought them to the corner of the room, away from the hurt sword. Hizen’s tired red eyes watched as the duo left him, his eyes trying to focus on them from the bed but quickly his eyelids felt too heavy and closed once more. His breath shaky as he started to drift off ever so slightly.

“He is alright, Aruji. He may not look at it from his wounds but he will make it.” Monoyoshi gently grabbed their forearm and it was only then did the sage realized how much they were shaking. Of course Monoyoshi would comfort them when they look like a leaf threatening to fall off the branch in Autumn. “Hizen was the only one that was hurt in the first team. We were tracking Prince Ōama when suddenly Kebiishi appeared. We were split up at the time but… Hizen told Chiganemaru to find the rest of the team while he ran and held off the Kebiishi. I’m not sure what would have happened to the team if it wasn’t for him but we were able to retreat before anyone broke. I’m sorry to say but we couldn’t meet our mission’s goal…”

“Nonsense. You making it back alive is what truly matters.” They sniffled, bringing their sleeve up to their face to wipe the wet droplets. One great thing about rain is that you can’t tell tears from rain droplets. A heavy sigh left their lungs as he looked at the sleeping figure on the bed. Even so close to breaking, he looked so peaceful. “Monoyoshi, would you mind giving me some time with him? As well as telling Mutsunokami and Nankaitarou about him? I’m sure they will want to rush over to see him.”

“Of course, Aruji.” Monoyoshi gave a small bow before looking over at Hizen. His forced cheery smile left as his brows knitted in concern. “I gave him some medication to help with the pain so he is probably going to be very sleepy for a while as he heals. Please let me know if there is anything I can get the both of you.”

A final smile found its way to his face as he gave the saniwa’s hand a small squeeze of comfort before leaving the room as quiet as he could. With the small rattle of the door closing, they looked over at the sleeping form. His eyes finally were not squeezed shut and looked peaceful. The scowl that normally resided on his face was now replaced with a neutral expression as he drifted into sleep. Their steps were hesitant as they made their way to his bed and to the seat that sat next to it. The heavy blanket to keep him from the cold seemed to hide a good majority of wounds that now painted his body. However, there were still many more shallow cuts on his face and chest. As well as the deep shoulder wound that Monoyoshi was just taking care of. Their eyes gazed at Hizen’s neck, an area of his body that was often covered by bandages. A scar imprinted onto his skin. It surrounded his whole neck. That’s right… Hizen’s previous master was beheaded and now Hizen wears the scar as a reminder. Hizen never talked about his previous master to them or anyone, for that matter. All they knew about them was that they were a killer and had some connection to Ryōma, Mutsunokami’s previous master.

Staring so earnestly at the scar, they failed to notice that Hizen had shifted and began to wake. It was only when his head fell to the side to look at the sage, did they notice. His red eyes were still barely opened and it seemed like he was struggling to even focus his gaze upon who was sitting next to him.

“Stop staring…” He groaned as his eyes fell shut once more and he took a deep breath. “I failed. You can leave.”

A deep-set frown was placed upon their lips as they looked at Hizen’s pained, yet forced sleeping expression. Clearly, he wanted to drop the topic and distance himself even more from the saniwa. He was hurt and was not in the mood. All these things were so clear… But they couldn’t help but speak.

“You came back alive and that is all I wanted.But Hizen, you shouldn’t have faced the Kebiishi all alone. I know you were protecting your team but you could have died. Please, be more careful next time.”

“What use is a sword that can’t kill when ordered to? Should of broke on the battlefield.”

A cold air filled the room. Hizen’s narrow eyes turned to the wall, away from his new master. An unsettling silence settled between the two figures as the saniwa bit their lip, hands clenching at their robes on their lap. Their shoulders shook as they tried to hold back tears from their eyes.

“How could you say that?”

“I’m a killer’s blade. If I can’t kill, I’m better off broken. That is the only use I am good for.”

“That isn’t true!” They screamed, making Hizen flinch in the bed and finally look at them. Their head was lowered as they tried to control their shaking body, taking deep breaths as Hizen watched in shock. He always knew the saniwa who was gentle to all the swords and only strict when giving direct orders in stressful movements. He had never heard their voice become this loud that even the thunder outside couldn’t overpower them.

Their hand shot out and grabbed hold of Hizen’s. His body shuttered slightly from the sudden physical contact and he stared at them frozen. Their head rose to reveal tears threatening to tip over and run down the cheeks as they looked at the sword in the bed. Their hand was firm, yet gentle. Hizen wouldn’t be able to slip from their hold unless he actively tried. Yet, it wasn’t forceful where he felt a lot of pressure. Despite the cold and the shivering of their body, their hand was warm.

“You are alive, Hizen. You can feel my hands holding yours right now, right? You enjoy so many things in the citadel, I see it! I see how much you enjoy sake or sweets I bring home from the market. Why else do you think I always make sure there is something sweet here? Hizen… Your job is no longer assassinating people, I will make sure I never put you in that position. Your job is to protect people. You already proved that you can do that! Today! You took on a powerful foe so you could protect your team like a great leader! Your past doesn’t define you, Hizen. Not anymore if you don’t allow it to. Please… Never talk like that again.”

Their joined hands fell to the soft bedding as the saniwa cried. Their shaking was nearly uncontrollable. Hiccups filled the room and sniffles of trying to catch their breath. What could be said to such words or to make them stop crying? It’s not like Hizen was ever put in such a position before. The drowsiness in his body had begun to fade from the scream. The raising tension in his body lessened and his red eyes focused on their joined hands. He slowly grasped their hand, rubbing his rough thumb over their soft skin. A familiar action that the saniwa once used on him after a night terror. A moment he tried to block out of his mind from how pathetic he thought of himself. Yet, the saniwa said nothing about it. They calmed him down and sat next to him, rubbing their thumb over his hand while holding it. Sometimes even petting his head to lull him into sleep. Even flinching from the physical contact, he enjoyed the soft feeling of it. He never had someone treat a killer so kindly before.

“Sorry.” He muttered softly. So faint that he was sure that the heavy rain outside drowned him out and he would have to repeat himself again, even if he wanted to die from embarrassment from doing so. Luckily, they shook their head softly and their thumb gently rubbed against Hizen’s hand.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled like that. Seeing you so hurt and hearing how you feel about the mission really upset me but I shouldn’t have yelled like that.”

Another silence fell into the room as the saniwa rested their head against the mattress, exhaustion coming over them from the sobbing and adrenaline rush of the news. The silence was comfortable compared to the one before. Hizen’s hand hesitantly stroked the saniwa’s head, trying to mimic the gesture from the memory yet unconfident in their abilities.

“I will try… to learn how to… l-live another way.”

They looked up at Hizen, making his hand freeze in the air unsure where to put it. Their expression was pure shock as they lifted themself up. Hizen never actively spoke to them and they were accepting that the conversation of the night would have ended at the sorries before they left the room. A soft blush could be seen on his face as he looked down at the blanket that covered his body. Part of the saniwa wanted to ask if he was sure and have a further conversation on it. They knew the sword better than they thought and knew that would only make him more uncomfortable.Instead they smiled, and gently patted his head with him flinching slightly, only to lean into it.

“Thank you, Hizen. I will be by your side as you try to learn to enjoy life another way. We will go at your pace, I promise.”

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