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#toxic people
1-0-0-2 · 2 days ago
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Pass auf das du dich nicht selbst in Brand steckst, während du versuchst jemanden anderen zu löschen.
- irgendwo gelesen
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desultory-suggestions · 3 months ago
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You have every right to be angry when you are mistreated. 
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mermaidindeepocean · a month ago
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dxrksxul-28 · 3 months ago
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Have you ever wished you could tell someone the whole story of why you are the way you are?
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lousydrawingsforgoodpeople · 8 months ago
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creatingnikki · 7 months ago
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Yeah it's perfectly okay to cut people off if they drain your energy but remember that people are not plants. And you are not gardening. Okay, bad analogy but here me out. People are people. Not trash that you take them out because it's stinking and you're sick of it. Sure, there are very trashy people. But ask yourself this: Am I cutting this person out of my life because they suck or because they did this thing to piss me off and I don't have the energy or courage to confront them about it? I say this time and again. This doesn't apply for abusive people. Ghost them. Run for your life and sanity. But with everyone else? That person who's been your friend for 10 years or that boy you went out with for 2 dates, respect them a little more. Have a conversation. Say a goodbye. Don't just label every person who doesn't agree with everything you say and do and doesn't vibe with you all the time as "toxic" and write them off. It's very difficult to understand each other and we're often never on the same page as others. If we don't try, if we don't even encourage a discussion, how are we going to survive as a society? How are we going to remain emotionally intelligent animals? Do we really want to back track evolution? Can we really not just give a person a chance? Or are we so woke that we are going to post about boundaries and mental well being and compassion on our Instagram stories every week but forget that, rather willfully ignore that, people are not to be discarded at the first sign of something unpleasant or inconvenient.
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thepeacefulgarden · a year ago
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hatefilledsuggestions · 3 months ago
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It’s so exhausting how those who purposely hurt you see themselves as the victim and YOU as the villain. Just so that they don’t feel bad about hurting YOU. So they don’t have to feel any guilt about fucking YOU over. Like, get the fuck over yourself.
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creweemmaeec11 · 4 months ago
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The problem with the romanticization.
Please take a moment to read, as this is an important topic to me, and it would mean a lot <3
As some of you may know, I am a big believer in tearing down the romanticization of abusive, obsessive, toxic, or manipulative behaviour.
I want to say right at the beginning of this post, I am not a psychologist and while I have done a decent amount of research I am also nowhere near a professional. This is just my opinion.
I'm making this post, not with the intent of shaming others or casting hate on anyone who makes content that may fall into this category, but with the hope of making more people simply aware of this idea, so they themselves can come to their own conclusion and opinion.
It is also important for me to point out the scale of what is considered abusive behaviour, especially in this context, is beyond vast, and is strongly individualistic due to its direct relation to one's moral beliefs. Everyone has told a lie, but one lie doesn't make you a manipulative person. The question then becomes how many lies can a person get away with before it is considered manipulative? Ultimately, these are conclusions you'll have to come to on your own, as there is no definitive answer and usually has to be considered situationally, and not as a whole.
My problem is not at all with the creation of this content, nor its creators, but the ideology and labelling of it as "normal", "healthy" or even "sexy", instead of making note of its impacts.
The concern is, when abusive behaviour is put in a positive light, readers may start to view the behaviour itself, as a whole, as positive.
That doesn't mean every aspect of a positive relationship has to be perfect, in fact, that would be arguably just as damaging. No relationship, romantic or otherwise, will be perfect because nobody is perfect. Good characters will and should always have flaws.
The solution is not in avoiding making or consuming this content, but I believe it's in increasing your own critical thinking.
I'd like to highly, HIGHLY, recommend this article, and ask you to read, or even just skim it. They do an amazing job explaining things simply, way better than I could do, and highlighting why this is even a problem in the first place. It isn't very long, don't worry.
https://www.dvsn.org/february-2021-the-romanticizing-of-domestic-violence-in-literature/
Whether you are a consumer or a creator of any type of media, I think you'd benefit from this food for thought as a way to encourage your critical thinking of the media relationships portrayed around or by you. I'd also like to link to the video that first opened me up to this idea at all, and it does a great job highly just how toxic "Twilight" is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgpY9nCo43k&t=5s
Plus I'd like to include the video I was watching today that prompted this post at all, which deals with the psychopathy test, and the idea that we are building a society that encourages these personality traits, but also the problem with the stigma and way the idea of "psychopath" is portrayed in media. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRN8MSkByeQ&t=2s
Finally, it would really mean a lot to have this reblogged around, especially if your blog deals with younger audiences. Even a like and comment to help feed the algorithm is really appreciated <3 Also, if I tagged you in the comments, it's not at all because I am accusing you of doing this, but instead either because your my friend and I'd like to share something that's important to me with you and perhaps get your opinion, or I simply think you'd find it interesting.
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akindplace · 3 months ago
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There is no shame it admitting you felt hurt or humiliated when someone crossed the line with you. There is no need to be afraid making people angry by setting boundaries. If they do get angry, it's not your fault.
They are angry because they believe they have a right to infringe those boundaries whenever they want, and they don't want you to stand up for yourself. They want things their way, where they can do or say whatever they want, then call you dramatic and be dismissive when you get hurt.
If they make the situation about themselves, you should probably be careful around them: they care only about themselves, and they probably don't get the concept of boundaries and won't fully respect yours.
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btpoetry · 4 months ago
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Fictional love.
“No, you can’t leave me,” She said to him as he was fading away slowly.
He wistfully smiled down at her. “I was never here to begin with.”
And as they danced for the last time under the stars, he spun her around but when she turned back he was gone.
Back to the pages in her book, and the little space in her mind where he will always reside.
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glamourbitxh · 22 days ago
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If someone in your circle cannot congratulate you on your success, heed the warning and distance yourself from that person because they are not for you.
- Germany Kent
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desultory-suggestions · 3 months ago
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You are not dramatic for calling out the real issues you are facing.
You are not dramatic for refusing to be put in a situation that hurts you.
You are not dramatic for setting boundaries even when other people don’t like them.
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mermaidindeepocean · 8 months ago
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adhbabey · a month ago
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Energy vampires aren't real. Low empathy people aren't evil. Apathy is not a wrong emotion to have. Being hyperempathetic does not make you a good person.
Hyperempathy and low empathy are not opposites. Having no emotional empathy does not mean you can't be compassionate for others.
I've been big in the witchcraft/spiritual community for a long time and I see this shit. The whole empath vs "energy vampire" thing is extremely ableist. If you identify as an empath, you need to stop equating toxic and abusive people with those who have low empathy. Having low empathy does not make someone inherently toxic or abusive. Stop this shit.
I used to identify with "highly sensitive person" or "empath", but really, I'm just neurodivergent with trauma. I can read people really well and I often look for tiny cues for how people are doing. But I also overthink constantly and am terrified of how people view me. There is a negative side to being hypervigilant all the time. There is burnout and exhaustion in trying to maintain perfection.
Shielding yourself is just called having boundaries. And mirroring others is just something a lot of people do subconsciously, including animals. And being sensitive is normal or common. And not being sensitive is just as common.
If you struggle to maintain relationships, stop setting yourself to other people's standards and find out what works for you. Like the fact that if you're interacting too long and you feel loopy or tired, you could just be introverted and you're drained by too much social interaction.
People don't steal your energy. You're not a fountain of water. Sometimes your cup is just empty due to a number of reasons and you need to take a break.
I would argue that it's more toxic and fucked up to blame other people when you don't know how to communicate and respect your own boundaries.
It's okay to need to maintain your health before interacting with others. Just stop shaming struggling people for needing support.
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desertedme-adi · 3 months ago
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Getting older is all about learning how much toxic your parents and family are.
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creatingnikki · 7 months ago
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It's a scary thought how someone can live perfectly well for months without once speaking to you when they said 'I love you' to you for years. No goodbye. No reason. No explanation. One day they just decide 'yeah no. This person doesn't exist anymore' and then literally pretend like you don't exist. Like a damn sociopath. What other justification could there be? Especially when you're the kind of person who'd spend hours thinking how you can make it better if someone let's you know you're making them feel something negative like uncomfortable or hurt or angry. Because you're someone who takes other people's feelings sincerely, and because they already know that, surely they didn't have many feelings for or about you to begin with. How do people deceive and manipulate someone for so long and so damn well? And what do they really get out of it? What did you get out of it?
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thepeacefulgarden · a month ago
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You may have to... * Find a new job * Change majors * Change schools * Leave your congregation, denomination, or religion * Go no-contact or low-contact with your family members * Break up with your SO or file for divorce * Find a new place to live * Block people online * Distance yourself from toxic "friends." * Find a new doctor * Find a new therapist * Go back to school and start a new career path * Delete your ex's number * Leave an unsupportive support group * Leave a fandom that's not fun anymore * Change your eating habits, your sleep schedule, etc. * Find a new gym, or go at a different time * Speak to your doctor about changing your medications if they're not working for you, or if the side effects are unbearable * Set boundaries with family and friends * Unlearn stuff you've been spoon-fed all your life * Stop going to bars * Stop looking at porn * Learn to say "no." * Stop smoking/drinking/using drugs/etc. * Get into an addiction treatment program of some kind * Stop trying to please other people * Unplug from electronics for a while * Step back from social media, or even get rid of it * Turn off the news for a while * Learn to question the status quo * Pick up a hobby * Stop answering work-related calls outside of work hours and/or coming in on your days off * Go part-time or per-diem if you can * Heed the trigger warnings and/or get a beta * Stop oversharing * Lock down your social media pages and/or blogs to "friends only." * Go grey rock if you can't leave your situation just yet for whatever reason(s) * Get rid of your "purity ring" and unlearn purity culture * Stay with a friend, or with relatives for a while * Get rid of things you don't use, clothes you don't wear (or that no longer fit), and other assorted clutter
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asraspeaks2 · 11 months ago
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This. Joss Whedon is a pig, but the actors, writers, and stunt people deserve to be recognized for their amazing work.
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mannatattoos · 6 months ago
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Every single time 🤦🏼‍♀️
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