#toxic relationship?? im questioning this one bc of how it started to go

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

okay hi just a warning rq my autocorrect is off bc it autocorrected my friend’s name to fuckin malayalam on accident. i dont like autocorrect.

ANYWAY! ive been listening to my lovely olivia rodrigo lately, specifically her new song obsessed. i wanted to know if you could make a fic with Ethan x fem! reader where readers bitchy friend has this ex (Ethan) and she made him out to be a real dick. like, manipulating and everything.

reader eventually meets him and it turns out that she remembers… a lot about him considering her friend is a constant yapper and cant shut up about him. Ethan actually turns out to be a real cutie patootie and could literally never hurt anyone.

a few days later theyd meet again at some club or party maybe where they end up hitting it off… a little too well.. yeah so she ends up in his bed (smut part, very dom ethan plspls 😛😛). they could be talking about something really random and then reader brings up how her friend basically completely lied about him and said he was a piece of shit when he really wasnt. like a realllll fluffy end before a small cliffhanger thats never gonna get finished where her friend ends up finding out and texting her.

so sorry if thats too long or confusing idk but i actually love your work so much im lowkey your #1 fan. 😍😍😍

HELLO! I switched this up a little, I hope that's okay! 💕

Also, I fucking loved the 'leave it on a cliffhanger part that won't get finished' because WHY IS THAT WHAT I DO lmao

Obsessed - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 1

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Part 2

Summary: Your friend told you horrible lies about her ex-boyfriend, and once you get to know him, you realize he's not the monster she made him out to be.

Contains: Mentions of a toxic relationship, Dom-ish cocky Ethan, rough-ish sex, oral - f receiving, p in v, fluff (If I missed anything, PLEASE let me know. I'm sleep deprived atm)

A/N: This was the one that pulled me out of my writers block, lmao. It's still not where I want it to be, but I'm TRYING. I'll try to post more this week, but I will be busy so bear with me haha.

You didn’t know Ethan Landry, but you knew you didn’t like him. He used to date one of your friends, and after hearing all the horrible things he’d said and done during their relationship, you thought he was really scummy.

They dated in high school and couldn’t get enough of each other, so they wanted to go to the same college. They broke up right before freshman year started, and after almost a year, she still talked about him every chance she got. She’d tell you how controlling he was. The things he’d call her when he was mad. How he cheated on her. You couldn’t believe that she stayed in the relationship for as long as she did, because she never had anything good to say, except that she loved him.

You’d seen pictures of him, and after walking into one of your classes at the start of the new semester, you saw him in person for the first time. He was so shy as he took his seat in the lecture hall, some of the girls making their little comments about the rumors they’d heard about him. He didn’t seem like the type that would do the things your friend said, but maybe he was just really good at playing innocent. All you knew was that you needed to keep your distance from him.

When you met up with your friend later that day for lunch, you didn’t know if you wanted to bring up Ethan being in the same class as you, but once she brought him up, you decided to tell her.

“Speaking of Ethan…I saw him today,” you said, before taking a bite of your food. Her face dropped as she looked at you.

“Where did you see him?” she questioned. You explained that you saw him in one of your new classes, and she rolled her eyes. “Can you believe he still tries to text me?”

“What I can’t believe is that you haven’t blocked him,” you said, “I know I’d hate to see someone that treated me like shit’s name pop up on my phone.”

She started to giggle as you curiously stared at her. “I have him saved in my phone as ‘Tall loser with a small dick’, so I laugh every time he does text me.”

“That’s not toxic at all,” you said, as you started to think about what she’d said. “Wait, he treated you as bad as he did and has a small dick? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“All he had going for him was that he was cute,” she said, “But seriously, if I were you, I’d stay away from him.”

“Oh, please. Like I’d even want to be near him.”

Your morning wasn’t going as expected. You slept through all of your alarms; you didn’t have time to stop for coffee. You didn’t think your day could get any worse, until you walked into class and noticed the only empty seat available was beside Ethan. You took a deep breath before you walked over and sat down. Once you reached into your backpack, you realized that your laptop wasn’t there. You were in such a hurry when you ran out of your dorm and didn’t even think to grab it.

“Shit,” you whispered, “I’m so stupid.”

“Here,” Ethan said, passing you a notebook and a pen. You curiously looked at him as he offered a weak smile. “I always keep an extra notebook, just in case.”

“Thanks,” you said, a half-smile playing on your lips.

Once class started, you were taking your notes, but you kept glancing over to Ethan. He was so focused on typing that he didn’t notice, but you couldn’t help but wonder if everything your friend told you was true. At that moment, he didn’t seem like a jerk. Then again, he had only spoken a handful of words to you.

Ethan was aware of all the things that were said about him. He hoped that after a few weeks it all would’ve blown over, but once you have an angry ex-girlfriend paint you as some horrible, emotionally abusive asshole, it’s hard to come back from that. He knew that it was best for him to just keep his head down until he was able to transfer to a different school, where no one knew who he was. He was miserable at Blackmore, and he really had no reason to stick around, aside from the few friends he’d made.

After class was over, you tore the pages of notes you’d taken from the notebook to give it back to Ethan.

“Thanks again,” you said, as you handed it back to him.

“You’re welcome,” he said, shoving it back in his backpack. “I thought about just emailing you my notes, but I didn’t know if you’d want that.”

“You’re telling me I didn’t have to spend the last hour trying to write that fast?” you asked, as he flashed you a sweet, genuine smile. “Why wouldn’t someone want that?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because most people here hate me,” he said, sliding the straps of his backpack over his shoulders. “You’ve probably heard things about me.”

“Yeah…are they true?” you asked, as he shook his head.

“You’re the first person that’s asked me that. Everyone else just assumes everything is true,” he sighed, “But no, I’m not a bad person.”

You started to feel so guilty. You’d said plenty of bad things about him, but you only heard one side of the story. With your friends’ story changing so many times, getting more dramatic each time she told it, you were starting to realize that it was all bullshit. You still didn’t know exactly what happened, but you were curious to know what the truth was.

“You okay?” Ethan asked, noticing that you were lost in thought as you stood in front of him.

“I’m friends with your ex,” you said, as his smile slowly fell. “What’s the real story?”

He sat back down in his seat as the other students piled out of the room. You sat beside him as you waited for him to speak.

“I really loved her…but she was just so controlling. Then she cheated on me when she went to the beach with her family. I didn’t find out about that until right before we started college,” he said, looking over to you. “She was pissed that I broke up with her, then all these horrible things about me started going around.”

“That’s fucked up,” you said, as he nodded.

“Yeah, she’s still been trying to text me. I finally blocked her a few days ago.”

“Wait, she said you’ve been trying to text her,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your words.

“Her number’s been deleted from my phone for months. I have no interest in talking to her,” he said, “I know this must be weird for you since you are her friend, but I think it’s cool that you wanted to hear me out.”

“Well, I feel like I need to apologize…I’ve said some things about you that weren’t true.”

“She’s a good liar. She has almost the entire school hating me so it doesn’t surprise me that her friend does, too,” he said, as he stood back up.

“I don’t hate you,” you said, smiling at him. “I don’t know if you’d want to, and I know she’d kill me, but if you ever want to hang out sometime, let me know.”

“I’d like that.”

Ethan was kicking himself for not asking you for your number, or shit, even your social media so he could DM you. He thought you were beautiful, but he knew that hoping for a chance with you would be a reach. He really just needed more people in his life that believed him to make the time he still had at the university more enjoyable.

Your friend begged you to come to a random frat party that you didn’t feel like going to in the first place. After your talk with Ethan, you weren’t even sure you wanted to be around her. You still went, and after searching for her for almost an hour, you checked your phone to see a message from her that she wasn’t coming, and that she ran into one of the guys she’d been hooking up with on the way to the party.

“Why the fuck am I even here?” you said to yourself as you locked your phone and slid it into the back pocket of your jeans.

“Hopefully to hang out with me, if your offer’s still good,” you heard from behind you, recognizing Ethan’s voice.

“Hey,” you said as you turned to face him. “I didn’t expect to see the most hated man on campus here.”

“My roommate told me that if I stayed in my dorm tonight, he’d throw my Xbox out the window,” he said, glancing over to the muscular guy that was watching Ethan talk to you.

“Ah, so you were threatened into being social,” you said, as he started to laugh.

“I guess you could say that. Do you want a drink?”

“Sure.”

Ethan wasn’t much of a drinker; you could tell by the sour look on his face every time he took a sip. It gave him a little confidence though, as the two of you talked and got to know each other a little better.

“I don’t think I can drink this anymore,” he said, sitting the cup down on a table. You sat yours down too, and as soon as you did, someone bumped into you, shoving you into Ethan.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you said, looking up at him. Your chest was pressed closely against his, his hands on your hips from catching you.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, “You can stay this close to me all night, if you want.”

“Are you always this smooth? Or is it the alcohol?” you questioned as he smirked at you.

“I’m only buzzed,” he said, before he leaned down, placing his lips on yours.

Chad was still watching Ethan from afar, cheering and thrusting his fist in the air once he saw Ethan kiss you. He started to laugh against your lips before he pulled away to stare daggers through his roommate for interrupting the moment.

“I can’t take him anywhere,” Ethan said, as you smiled at him.

“We could go somewhere more private,” you suggested, as he took your hand in his.

“Want to go back to my dorm? He’ll be here for a while so I know we can talk without being interrupted.”

“Sure!”

Once you made it back to Ethan’s dorm, you were starting to think that he really did just want to talk. You enjoyed listening to him, though. He was telling you about all his hobbies and interests, and you were telling him yours. You started to glance around his side of the dorm room, noticing the cliché, dorky things you’d expect to see.

“Nice Star Wars poster, nerd,” you joked, as he smirked at you.

“Oh, I’m a nerd?” he said, as he nudged you back on his bed. He was hovering over you, his mouth inches from yours. The sexual tension got so thick as his eyes looked into yours, his hand rubbing your hip.

“Mhm,” you said, the corner of your bottom lip in between your teeth. “A hot nerd.”

He felt his cheeks start to heat up, and he really didn’t want you to notice, so he leaned down to finally connect his lips to yours. It didn’t take long for the kiss to get more intense, his tongue brushing across your bottom lip. You let him deepen the kiss, his tongue moving with yours as his hands started to roam. You whimpered into the kiss once his hand squeezed your thigh, your hips started to squirm underneath him.

He pulled away but still stayed close so the two of you could catch your breath. You were reading each other’s faces, and it was obvious that you both wanted more.

“How far do you want this to go?” he asked, his breathing still heavy as his eyes looked into yours.

“As far as you want,” you said, your sweet tone making him groan.

“That’s not what I asked you,” he said, as he leaned back down to kiss your neck. His curls were tickling you, but the only reaction you had were the soft moans slipping past your lips from how well his mouth moved. His hips were rutting into yours, showing you how hard he was for you.

“I want you to fuck me,” you said, as he pulled away to look at you.

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

Ethan was a little, well, very eager. He got you undressed in what felt like seconds, leaving you in just your panties. Once he stripped down to just his boxers, you got a little curious. You glanced down to see his hard cock straining against the fabric, and started to laugh to yourself, your gaze going to the ceiling.

“What’s funny?” he asked, as he hovered back over you to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Your laughing stopped, a gasp slipping out when he started to suck. “I asked you a question,” he teased, before moving to the other side.

“She really does lie about everything,” you said, as his tongue swirled. “She said you had a small dick.”

He started to laugh against you, before he pulled back. “That’s funny, because she couldn’t take it.”

“I can,” you said, his smile turning to a smirk as his hand trailed down your body to rub you over your panties.

“We’ll see about that,” he said, as he moved lower down the bed to position himself between your thighs.

He slid your panties down your legs, before running his fingers over your wet pussy. Your eyes stayed on him, your bottom lip in between your teeth as he teased you. Your anticipation just kept building as he moved down the bed, positioning himself in between your thighs. He leaned in, slipping his tongue inside your entrance.

He was sloppily eating you out, his head moving from side to side. His arms hooked under your thighs to pull you as close to his face as he could as your hands went to his hair.

“So good,” you whimpered, your breathing getting faster as he worked you closer to your orgasm.

He slid his tongue out of you to focus on your clit, quickly replacing it with two of his fingers. Your back was arching off the bed as he moved his arm back and forth, applying as much pressure as he could to that spongy spot inside you as he sucked on your swollen bundle of nerves.

“You’re gonna make me cum,” you babbled, as he started to chuckle with your clit in his mouth.

That was all it took for your legs to start shaking and your grip on his hair getting even tighter. Once your pussy started to clench around him, he slowed his fingers to a slow roll, not wanting to overstimulate you. His tongue gently licked your clit as he worked you through it, your whimpers getting softer as you came down from your high.

“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you admitted through your shaky breathing. Ethan started to laugh a little as you looked at him, your eyes hazy. “What?”

“Just wait until I’m inside you,” he cockily said, “You still confident that you can handle it?”

“I know I can,” you said, your legs instinctively spreading wide for him as his fingertips ran up your thigh.

“What are you going to do when no one else can make you feel as good as I do?” he questioned, as one of his fingers started to rub circles on your clit.

“I guess I’d have to keep you around then,” you said, as he shook his head.

“You’d only have me until summer starts,” he said, his finger moving faster. “I’m transferring to a different school after this year.”

“No, you’re not..fuck. I’ll convince you to stay,” you said, relaxing into the bed as he teased you.

Ethan pulled his hand away from your pussy before he slid his boxers off. He crawled back on top of you and reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom.

“I might let you convince me,” he said, as he lined up with your entrance. You tensed up a little because you knew how big he was. “Relax, baby.”

You did as he said, taking a deep breath as he inched his way inside of you. You were moaning as he stretched you out, and when you thought he was all the way in, he just kept going.

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, feeling so full as he finally came to a stop, wanting to give you plenty of time to adjust. “Told you..Fuck, I told you I could take it,” you said, already struggling to speak.

“Don’t get cocky,” he said, your mouth falling open as he started to move. “I’m going to ruin this pussy.”

“Ruin it,” you said, challenging him as your lusty, hooded eyes connected with his.

It took everything in Ethan to not immediately start pounding into you, but he didn’t want to hurt you. He started slow, your eyebrows already furrowing together, low moans slipping past your lips. The head of his cock hit that special spot every single time, but you needed more. He sped up a little as your legs wrapped around him, your hands gripped tightly around his biceps.

“Maybe you can take it,” he said, his breathing getting heavier. “Can I go faster?”

“Yes,” you whimpered, as his hips moved quicker.

Your brain was starting to turn to mush, the babbles slipping past your lips making absolutely no sense. The only thing your mind could process in that moment was how good Ethan was making you feel. He thought you were adorable, already so cock drunk, and he wasn’t even close to being done with you yet. He kept his pace, but occasionally thrust a little harder to see if you could take it, the loud moans slipping past your lips as your nails started to dig into his arms letting him know that you could.

He angled your hips to go even deeper. His pace was a little slow as he made sure you were okay. Your eyes were pleading with him to go faster, because you knew the words weren’t going to come out of your mouth. It was getting so hard for him to hold back, so he finally let go. He started to pound into you so hard that your skin was tingling, all the nerves in your body on edge. Your toes were curling as he slammed into your g-spot, your whimpers turning to cries as you felt your orgasm starting to build. It was hard for you to keep your eyes open, and you were sure Ethan was going to have your nail marks on his arms forever with how hard you were squeezing him.

“Fuck,” was the only word you were able to get out, your legs wrapping tightly around him as your body started to involuntarily jolt. Ethan was sure that everyone in the surrounding dorm rooms knew what was happening, because you were being so loud. He wasn’t letting up though. He loved that he was making you feel that good.

It only took a few more deep thrusts before your entire body started to tremble, loud whines flooding out of your mouth as the wave of euphoria washed over you. He chased his own orgasm as he fucked you through it, your pussy clenching him so tight that he was moaning himself.

“I’m almost there, baby,” he said, a slight rasp in his voice from all the panting he’d been doing.

You went limp, your grip on his arms and your legs around his waist relaxing as his hips started to falter, a loud groan slipping past his lips as he released into the condom.

He took a minute to catch his breath before he slid out of you. His abs were burning and his arms were sore from your nails, but he quickly got up to take the condom off so he could take care of you.

He crawled in the bed next to you as you adjusted to lay your head on his chest, still so fucked out that it was hard to process your thoughts. Ethan just held you close, his hands softly rubbing over your bare back as you relaxed into his touches.

“You’re okay, right?” he asked, after a few minutes of you not saying anything. You lazily nodded as your hand moved to rub across his chest.

You laid there in silence as you started to think about what’d just happened. You knew your friend was going to be pissed if she ever found out, but did that even matter? She made almost the entire university hate Ethan for things he never did, and it made you sad that he felt like he needed to switch to a different school so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.

“So…” you finally said, “How can I convince you to stay?”

He let out a nervous laugh, not knowing the best way to respond. “I can’t take people talking about me the way they do anymore.”

“Even if I convince everyone that it was all lies?” you questioned, your tone playful as you angled your head to look at him. “I think it’d be awful for you to leave because of her. You could miss out on someone that would treat you right.”

“Someone like you?” he questioned as he looked down at you. You nodded, before he leaned down to kiss you. “You’re good at this whole convincing thing.”

“Does that mean you’ll stay?” you asked, smiling as you sat up to look at him.

“Yeah, as long as you don’t break my heart,” he said, wrapping his arms around you to pull you back down to his chest.

“I won’t.”

You stayed in Ethan’s bed for a couple hours, making plans for all the dates he wanted to take you on. It felt like you’d known him for way longer than just a few days, the two of you having an instant connection. You hated to pull away from him, but you knew you needed to get dressed before his roommate got home.

“It’s late, can I walk you back to your dorm?” he asked, as he started to put his clothes back on.

“I can’t believe I thought you were this horrible monster. You’re so sweet,” you said, as he smiled at you. “Yeah, you can walk me home.”

Ethan walked you to the front door of your building, pulling you into a gentle kiss before he pulled away.

“I’ll text you,” he said, as he started to back away.

“Yeah, let me know when you make it back to your dorm, please,” you said, as he nodded.

When you made it upstairs and got settled into your bed, you heard your phone vibrate as it charged on your bedside table. You grabbed it and saw a goodnight message from Ethan, a huge smile on your face as you responded to him. You were so exhausted from the time you’d spend with him, and you soon felt yourself start to doze off. You heard your phone buzz again, your eyes lazily opening to see if it was Ethan. You took a deep breath once you read the message that was sent to you.

‘Why the fuck were you kissing Ethan at that party?’

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #scream smut #ethan landry smut #smut

[stuckinapril]

i saw ur post on how there isnt rlly a big arab figure, and wow like. i think that if i had been younger and saw just one or two arab people on tv in a positive way, it would have helped me a LOT. like yeah. There ISNT a big singer or character or actor or model that’s arab. And now im sitting here wondering how many kids are going to be sitting and watching tv and just blocking out their arab heritage and culture because then they wouldnt be like their favorite singer or wtver.

Exactly. Exactly exactly exactly. I’ve full chest said this before, but I wasn’t always as attached to my Arab heritage as I am now. I actually grew up pretty distant from it all around, and it’s only in recent years that I started making a concerted effort to delve into it. And I can’t even blame it on my mom tbh, like I grew up in a lax household that allowed for ample self-expression. It was always the outside world that would make a little Arab girl like me question the worth of her ethnic roots—especially when Arabs are painted as terrorists at worst and as monocultural heathens at best where I’m from (hint: the USA). There is so much to unpack w being raised American but being ethnically Iraqi!! Because that means I literally hail from two countries!! A country that’s thirsty and a country that’s on fire!! But that’s a whole other loaded topic I could write a separate dissertation on.

I’d always have toxic thought loops like “I don’t look Arab enough” “I’m not religious but all the Arab girls I know are Muslim” on and on and on. And like I said in that ask, there was never an Arab American A lister for me to kind of have a frame of reference w. This is specifically an Arab issue too I feel like, bc a lot of brown people do have that star-studded figure to look up to growing up. We do not.

It’s kind of why I decided to be that for myself. I don’t need a cool Arab girl celebrity who’s into fashion or music. I’ll be that. I don’t need an Arab academia girl character. I’ll be that too. There’s no such thing as not looking Arab enough bc Arabs are so diverse. It’s okay that I’m not religious bc Arab culture is not solely defined by religion, and even if it were Arabs are not a hive mind and everyone engages w their culture in vastly different ways (which is okay!! It doesn’t make me any less Arab). I’ll literally just discard other people’s preconceived notions and trailblaze my own path!! I’ll be my own Arab girl representation. I refuse to fit myself into any preexisting mold. I like what I like and the rest just falls into place.

I think that’s why I’ve been so vocal about my Iraqi heritage lately… I’m literally healing my relationship w my roots in real time. Even advocating for Palestine is feeding into that in major ways. It’s legit all coming together for the first time in my life. Now I’m so proud to be Arab—to be Iraqi—that the idea that anyone could shame me for it is as incredulous as it is hilarious. Iraq is literally called the Cradle of Civilization & you want to make me feel BAD for being Arab… for being Iraqi… it’s just impossible bc I can’t imagine myself being anything else. I’m so content to have my multicultural background and to be who I am. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

It’s also cool that I have people following me, that they could also be exposed to diverse facets of Arab culture bc of that, but tbh a lot of this is also purely for me. I want the Iraq tag to be flooded w beautiful Iraqi poetry and beautiful Iraqi art and beautiful Iraqi cinema as I familiarize myself w Iraqi culture more and more, bc there’s so much more to it than the Iraqi War stats that pop up when you look it up on here.

I’m a 21 year old girl AND I’m Arab. That’s literally double the self-discovery to work through. Fortunately I think I’m finally cultivating a strong sense of self, so I really don’t think anything anyone has to say could deter me from my path (whether it be in terms of reconnecting w the beauty of my Arab heritage or legit just growing into my own). It’s not always perfect by any means, but I’ve made so much headway. And absolutely nothing could take away from that.

#I had a LOT of thoughts on this but thank u for giving me the opportunity to rly unravel this anon <3 <3 <3 #I still have a lot of things to go to therapy for lmao but suppressing my Arab roots is absolutely one thing I’ll never have to talk about #the confused Arab girl who was disconnected from her heritage is DEAD give me all the Iraqi history books I want to devour them all #ask #arab tag

[zv5x]

ik i answered way too quickly i have notifs on for u >_< buut id love if yan eddie is a creepy coworker of the reader, & starts telling people that they are dating bc hes so delusional, then starts holding the reader’s hand and insists on doing coupley things, meanwhile the reader has never even had a full conversation w him?

im so bad at formatting requests i hope this makes sense! go crazy i luv ur work

Yandere!Edward Nashton • Reader (Romantic Workplace Scenero)

(sry for no cool title I'm full and uninspired) but whhhhhattt? you have notifs on for my blog? That's so cool!!!!!! You guys are spoiling me with the praise. I'm happy to write this for you!! (Also I totally didn't ask for unwilling reader sceneros so I could have an excuse to use this image I just found shhh) tw // workplace harassment , stalking , delusional and toxic mindsets , use of the yandere trope , implications of future violence , violation of privacy , one sided affections , mentally abusive relationships

"They didn't tell me the two of you were dating." The coworker whom just spoke let out a small "hmm" sound at the excitement of the man giving such news, and she sat twirling the pen in her hands around as the others among the group shuffled in place out of an awkward tension unseen by Edward himself.

"I didn't even know the two of you spoke before." Another chimed in with a quiet voice, almost able to be classified as a mumble, many of them however were too nervous to confront his mistake head on, fearful of the repercussions of such. Still, he sat smiling, kicking his feet in his chair in a way one would expect from a lovestruck teen girl rather than an adult man. His roundish face brightened at the very thought of his alleged partner, and he continued rambling about the aspects of their picture-perfect relationship up until the group turned to face the sound of an opening door.

Desperate for a distraction from what they thought to be the ramblings of a very sick man, their thankfulness at the new distraction was quickly ripped from their hands as they identified the one who gave them it. It was you, none other than, and Edward quickly jumped out of his seat to greet you. The look on your face said it all. Your coworkers could see the clear shock and confusion on your face, being faced by a man practically bouncing around you like a dog greeting its owner that just returned home after a long day.

The shock was clear on your face, and your brain was rattled with questions and concerns. You've never even seen this man smile before, let alone show this much excitement towards anything. He's never even spoke to you before, and now he was welcoming you to work, babbling about how thankful he was you got here safely. At one point, he went to grab your hand, and you pulled back with a nervous laugh. You turned, giving a desperate look to your coworkers, and their looks of fear, confusion and pity did nothing to answer your questions or at the very least ease your mind.

Edward tried pushing down your reluctant body language, he really did. But the way you ripped your attention away from him, even depriving him of the affection he tried to give you, it was enough to make his bright green eyes shine with confused tears.

"I'm sorry..." You said, trying your best to be polite. The cruelty of making your workplace an uncomfortable place was cruel to you, but your next words would be ten times as cruel to the man trying his very best to grab ahold of you. "Do I....know you?"

You could have sworn you heard your coworkers inhale, those words you just spoke were what they feared the most. They knew from the way his body trembled while speaking of you that he was horribly unstable, and many of them scurried away from their circle to return to their own workspaces, the sound of keyboard clicking acting as a backing track to Edward's steadily widening eyes. You no longer had an audience, many of them fearful at the hypothetical sight of a lonely, sick man scorned.

"Why...why would you...baby?" He rambled, the words he wanted to say unable to come out of his mouth. "Why are you acting like this?" His confusion was clear, and you couldn't understand what he could have possibly been confused about. You never saw him before in your personal life, and that was a fact your brain couldn't help but repeat over and over again, like a broken record a theorist is trying to decode rather than listen to for pleasure.

"What happened? Why aren't you-"

"I don't know who you are, sir. Please leave me alone." Professionally, you turned him down. He was clearly wrong mentally in some sort, so you tried your hardest to make your rejection as clear and concrete as humanly possible. Still, it didn't seem to resonate with him, and he seemed to stumble in place as he stood stunned. Looking back, he watched helplessly as you waved to your waiting coworkers.

Backwards glances and whispers were all he was given as a passing gift, and his breathing stayed unstable as he watched all of you socialize. You seemed...too friendly with them, and they seemed too friendly with you. The way one of them put their hand on your shoulder as the two of you laughed at a joke one of you made, and Edward's heart broke at the sight of your angelic smile which you freely handed to someone else. Someone that wasn't him.

Edward felt like his entire body was giving up on him. He didn't understand. Where was this sudden distance coming from? You were so happy with him before. All those times you got undressed slower than you usually did, all those times you rested at the far side of your bed, all the times you sung in the shower, Edward has no reason to believe it wasn't for his eyes and his eyes only.

He could barely even rationalize the steps he was taking, sulking his way to his own work desk as your words haunted his brain. Was it possible for love to kill a man? Stomp his spirit, enhance his bloodlust? Perhaps it was. If it came to such, he'll plant each of those coworkers that dare put their filthy hands on you in an early grave, as suited vengeance for the attempted murder of his love.

Fantasies about a world where you reacted differently danced along his brain. Maybe in another universe you wrapped your arm around him protectively, proudly calling him your precious boyfriend, kissing him on the side of his head as you spit venom at those who spoke of him the way they did, labeling a freak under their breaths among themselves and isolating him beyond what he thought was possible.

The pen almost broke in his hand from rage. How dare those rats spit upon the flower that was his adoration, how dare they rip you from his grasp and taint you. How dare they. This realization, it was enough to make him giggle to himself. Isolation was something he was more than experienced with, so what would hurt if he had you live that isolation with him.

Your brain has clearly been tampered with. You believe yourself to be a stranger rather than a fiance, and he knew precisely who was to blame for that. Edward would gladly have their blood stain the walls, and without hesitation he'd put their heads on pikes and place them along your garden, and then you'll know how much he finally loves you. You'll run into his arms, apologizing to him. He'll tell you that he's not upset, it wasn't your fault you were under mind control. Your brainwashing is your excuse, and that's what's stopping him from someday planting kisses upon your headstone.

For once in his life, everything felt like it was going to be alright. He knew that. He just had to clean up a bit. That's all.

You'll understand soon enough.

#dano riddler x reader #paul dano x reader #paul dano x you #paul dano #paul dano riddler #the riddler x reader #riddler x you #the riddler #riddler x reader #riddler #edward nashton x you #edward nashton x reader #edward nashton #male yandere #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere male #x reader #dano!riddler

[seeingivy]

THE NEWEST PART OF METHOD ACTING WAS SO GOOD YET IT IS SO BITTER SWEET TO ME😭😭😭😭 literally went from “omg y/n finally at peace” to “NOEOEHEIWEHIWWHJWWHWJB” at the ending….

putting that aside ur writing is geninuely so immersive and authentic and just aighwhwjwgsjsshjs u just get it

what im really curious about is eren’s pov during the time period between the rep comeback and the lucky ones interview because i have no idea what is going awn in that mind of his😀 i dont have a single clue on how we gon even get an eren redemption arc or a happy ending from this 😭😭😭

HELLO HELLO MY SWEET ANON! first and foremost - replying to you but also everyone who has sent me such kind, kind (and aggressive) words about the last chapter. I feel bad filling everyones feed with each individual ask (which idk why i feel bad this is my blog but I do I don't want to annoy my moots or my followers) so im gonna address MOST questions ive had with your ask <3 pls don't think I don't see and love + appreciate your words each and every individual person, bc they make me more and more motivated/excited to write

that being said, thank you SO SO MUCH for saying my work is immersive and authentic. this is such a harder write compared to roommates because rather than it being like roommates (which was literally just like fluff no plot romance) I feel like im trying really hard to pour more than JUST romance into this - fame/people pleasing, drugs/addition, female friendships, toxic men/workplaces/dynamics, etc. - and the fact that it's getting across and hitting for you and others makes my heart so so warm. I know it's a silly little fanfiction but it means a lot that people can feel the feels with me - triumphant when y/n gets to assert her boundary, heartbroken when marco dies, forgiving of eren.

especially on my lacy, oh lacy chapter - I was really feeling the depths of comparing myself to other girls and feeling so, like OBSESSED with this one girl who I just think is better that me that it fills me with resentment for her/me/how my brain works. I wrote it into that chapter because it was what i was feeling expecting people to hate on historia/her entire relationship with y/n and I almost cried when every single person was so like....loving of her, of their relationship and never once questioned why she felt that way. like wow, real. art is soothing sometimes. (I am not calling my fic about a 2d man art but you get what im trying to say)

that being said. I got fifty asks begging me to clarify/and or make a happy ending. GUYS I AM STILL THE GIRL WHO WROTE ROOMMATES I PROMISE YOU'RE GETTING A SWEET FLUFFY ENDING THEY ARE ENDING UP TOGETHER THEY ARE SOULMATES THEY ARE FISH TOGETHER.

on the topic of eren and his thought process - I thought hard of whether I wanted to make this a dual pov - more like roommates and decided against it. eren purposely (and sometimes with reason) withholds information from y/n. I have to emulate that for you as readers, but I promise that eren will tell his shit when he tells his shit. and not JUST in the period between reputation and the lucky ones, but all the way back at the start. we're talking met gala, we're talking their breakup, we're talking the reputation songs, the fights they had, and EVEN the interview. all in good time. baby boy is about to tell his truth. y/n makes dumb mistakes but so does he!!!

I hope that clarifies everyones questions and soothes your brains for now!

(and yes. y/n will still be in season four. im not a nutjob.)

#asks! #method acting

[pattonsfam-ily]

//ooc again but sorry can I just get like ,, a rundown on the characters + some basic plot points here ? this au seems so cool but I don't know where 2 start. also sorry for spam liking ur posts they r so silly I love them:)

don’t worry i don’t mind spam likes! anyway im not really sure how old anyone is at this point bc i took like a year+ break thinking i was done with all of it and i just can’t remember shit like that lmao they’re all like mid 20s but hey i remember the age differences & heights at least so i’ll say those ig (trigger warning for heavy topics like mental shit substance abuse unaliving/self harm & abuse) buckle in this is gonna be long af

so Logan Roman Virgil and Patton met in middle school. Lo Ro and V started dating shortly after Lo left his ab*sive ex boyfriend in high school. and Patton has always been a father figure to Virgil. when they graduated high school they all moved in together and Patton adopted Virgil despite their very small age difference (like 3 years i think). then a few years later Virgil’s older brother (by 4 years) Devin moved in with them and eventually Patton moved into his own place. Remus came back into Roman’s life at one point and stayed with them for a while but now he’s living with/dating Janus & Remy.

character descriptions:

Logan is the oldest in the LRV throuple. white. 5’10. gay/aroace spec. cis man. he/him. he went to college to become a teacher and was a substitute for a while. now he’s working at a science center and giving classes to toddlers/kids. he’s autistic and has a really rocky toxic relationship with his parents. they don’t approve of his relationship or his career choice (they wanted him to go to medical school like they did)

Roman is the second oldest. white. 5’10. bisexual. cis man. he/him. he got a drama/theater arts degree. he works at the local theater and acts in the plays they put on every now and then. he’s a recovering alcoholic with anger issues that lost his cousin/best friend to s*icide in high school. he has a great relationship with his parents. they’re really kind and completely accepting of him. he and his twin Remus have a younger sister named Reagan. i think she’s like 9 or 10 now?

Virgil is the youngest of the entire friend group/family. white. 5’4. gay/aroace spec. amab demiboy. he/they. he has some vague dysphoria/discomfort so he got mtf bottom surgery a little while ago. he tried to get a degree in art and child psychology i think?? he wanted to be an art therapist but he dropped out and now he’s a streamer/youtuber. he’s also autistic, diabetic, has ptsd, anxiety, depression, shitty immune system thats actually getting better with treatment, and he’s recovering from an ed. he has a great relationship with his mom & her gf and used to have a good one with his father but he was mostly an abusive asshole that went to prison and later killed himself bc he couldn’t handle all the guilt

Patton is older than those 3 but younger than Devin. white. 6’0. aroace spec. cis man. he/him. he was taken away from his shit parents & put into foster care at a really young age and eventually aged out of the system. he was never adopted. he got into lots of trouble throughout his life but some of what was discussed on here isn’t fully canon anymore. but anyway he got a degree for childcare management and opened his own daycare but eventually he sold it and now runs his own small crochet business.

Remus. same age as Roman obviously. white. 6’0. gay. cis man. he/him (but his pronouns might change). he didn’t go to college. he just makes tik toks showing off his oddities collections. he’s also an alcoholic & drug addict (he mostly just does hallucinogens now) with pica/eating issues and intrusive thoughts & extreme self harm tendencies so he’s been in and out of rehabs & psych wards his whole life. rocky relationship with his parents despite their support and used to have a rocky relationship with Roman but they’re mostly okay now. absolutely adores Reagan. will actually kill a man and/or die for his family.

Remy. little younger than Devin. white. 5’10 i think. gay. genderfluid. he/him. i cannot remember what degree(s) he has but doesn’t really matter now bc he’s a stripper by night barista by day lmao he probably also has an onlyfans but we haven’t talked about that lmao he’s a sort of recovering drug addict with suicidal tendencies & religious trauma. he also never takes his sunglasses off. they’re a security blanket/comfort item and they cover a scar his ex boyfriend gave him. his relationship with his family is awful. his parents abused him his whole life and his older sister holds it against him and treats him like shit now but she’s mostly been cut off.

Janus/Dee. year younger than Remy. korean/navajo. 5’7/5’8 idk. trans man. he/him. he’s taking testosterone & got top surgery but never got bottom surgery and never will. he went to college twice. first time for graphic design. second time was law school. he got a master of legal studies degree bc he doesn’t wanna be a lawyer. he just wanted to learn about the law. he’s a compulsive/chronic liar and very deceitful but mostly in a silly way. not 100% sure what his family life is like tbh but his relationship with his mom is strained in some way. but yeah his first languages are korean and diné. he learned english in high school.

now for my 2 main ocs:

Devin. oldest of everyone. white. 6’1. pan/aroace spec. cis man. he/him. he got a degree in computer science. he does a lot of different coding projects and once had a pc building business. but now he’s a streamer and in a band called DeCode with my other oc. he’s a recovering drug addict and has psychosis. he was married to Thomas but they got divorced a little while ago lol also has a great relationship with his mom/her gf and of course hates his father for the way he treated Virgil. he’s very protective of his baby (brother). he has and will fuck up anyone that hurts him.

Coda. a year older than Lo & Ro im pretty sure. black. 6’0. gay. cis man. he/him. he’s Virgil’s boyfriend outside his relationship with Lo and Ro but he’s completely monogamous. he got a degree in photography and art. he’s a tattoo artist & streamer and the other person in the band DeCode. (he met Devin Remy & Janus in college so thats how he met Virge). his birth parents kicked him out when he was 13 for being gay and was later adopted by two moms. he now has 3 siblings. two younger twins named Cole & Nevaeh and an older brother named Mason.

other random plot points i remember: Remy’s attempted suicide, Remy got Janus pregnant so he had an abortion around the time Remus joined the relationship, Coda got shot during an armed robbery at his tattoo shop, both Patton & Coda got back in contact with their birth parents for a short while, Virgil’s been abused both by a p•do and an ex boyfriend he had like 3 years ago.

other background ocs you’ll probably learn more about as they’re mentioned: Dante, Maeve (Devin’s girlfriend she/they), Jimmy & Noah (Coda’s best friends/coworkers), Ryan, Ximena, Aaliyah, Morgan (ngl tho he’s never been brought up again since the first time), and all the parents (pretty sure thats everyone?)

yeah thats a lot lmao lemme know if you need anything explained further/clarified or have any other questions!!

#ooc #LRVerse #info post #LRVerse info #suicide mention #sh tw #self harm mention #alcoholism mention tw #alcoholism tw #substance abuse tw #drug abuse tw #eating disorder tw #ed mention #disorded eating #violence mention #violence tw #abuse mention #abuse tw

[loving-ricciardo]

im devastated if danny gets so hurt that he has to leave f1 for good, bc i had the absolute shit times the previous couple of months mentally, and before this season started youtube recommended an interview w danny and it was smth titled “is the smile always real?” and i watched it and man it was the very thing i needed, which is kinda weird to say it bc he’s a literal stranger to me but i hope you’ll understand what im saying… but just smth about him that he showes about himself through media and stuff and that personality and style and what he does in the vlogs has continoued to uplift me during my down-phases. and to think about all this shit and how it must be affecting him, the person who’s positive mindset changed me, is surreal and i cant imagine how he’s feeling.

hi hun, first of all im sending you the biggest hug and i really hope your mental health is better now (disregarding the current Daniel situation) and i hope the universe is gentle with you 🧡🧡🧡

okay, i might go on a bit of a rant here-

i started watching this sport more closely because of Daniel. Like he is the reason I’m here today and ever since i started supporting him i tried to like define my ‘relationship’ with him ~I am probably not gonna make complete sense here~ but like I couldn’t imagine meeting Daniel on street and being like ‘omg I love you. you changed my life’ because he is literally a white rich man driving in circles like it’s a bit silly to care so much about him (this is me @ me btw like it’s an internal struggle I’m not ‘judging’ other fans! You do you besties!!). Like I’m a big football fan but I still could never really justify being such a big fan of them?? Like I obviously have favourites but i always compared them to my favourite authors and songwriters and honestly I have no idea why I always struggled with this like it’s not that deep.

Okay I lost myself and I’m too lazy to go back and rewrite it but I just wanted to say that I had different drivers which I liked for their driving style but it was too superficial for me to get into the sport for (again nothing wrong with that-) and it wasn't until I saw an interview with Daniel that I was just instantly charmed and impressed with how he presents himself. Like Daniel is the definition of ‘fake it till you make it’ and ‘act confident and no one will question you’. The sport is brutal and you can see he under all that charm he is just an anxious insecure lil gremlin who created an 'alter ego' to sort of protect himself from the outside world. Don't get me wrong like Daniel is his alter ego but it's just a bit of a different version of him and I do admire that. As someone with social anxiety I try to channel my Danny Ric energy when I can't control things hh.

And his energy is just so kind and warm and SO positive as you've mentioned. Like it must be SO draining to try to be so positive most of the time and like keeping his emotions in check,,, i admire that so much. Like he could be an asshole (i mean he is a charming asshole,, he does use that smile to get away with saying mean shit sometimes)- he literally doesn't own anyone anything but no he takes time to make people laugh and to give them a show and interact with fans and like even when he has bad days and he probably wants to lock himself in his driver's room he still tries his hardest to be his cheery self and even apologizes to people when he thinks he is not being positive enough- just all good all ways even though he keeps jumping from one toxic team to another--

and like normally i am pretty good with boundaries and i mean i am dramatic on this blog and i do get upset when his race goes badly but i can usually shake it off quickly but ngl these past two days,,, my heart is so heavy and im SOSOSOS pissed and SOSOSOS sad because the way mclaren is handling it- noone deserves let alone daniel who had been one bad race strategy after another yet still trying to be positive and professional... URGH i know this sport is brutal and unfair but this is truly disgusting

idk if this makes sense i am very bad at expressing my feels lol but yeah i hope danny has a good support system around him and im sending him and all daniel fans the biggest hug and good vibes, we will get through this <333

#at the start of the season i was like hihihaha i wouldnt mind is daniel retired. #and its still lowkey true but i want him to do it on his own turn and he clearly wants to keep racing so i hope he finds the best team #possible and runs all over mclaren next season #ask thingie

[dizzythegreat]

all you need is time PART TWO

I Don’t Wanna Fall

THE CHOIR-LIKE HARMONIES AT THE START

“its getting pretty close to the end” (of the album) is how i interpreted it and i loved that sm, im probably wrong but that made me happy

the way they sing “it doesn’t really matter” and “did you forget my number” is so ughhhh

and “i still love you”

i feel like this one relates to “liar” and “tell me have you been dancing”, i feel like they’re all about liking someone you can’t having, holding onto slivers of hopes that maybe they love/still love you too

and also hoping that maybe you still love them, not wanting to fall out of love with them

SO FUCKING RELATABLE UGH, thinking about the things that make you so happy right now, thinking about the things you love and adore and being terrified of the idea of growing out and away from them, wanting to hold onto everything you are in love with with all you’ve got

favourite lyric: “god it's getting pretty hard to pretend that i could be my own best friend”

8/10, head over heels

Easy

omg the mv for this was was so cute i loved it sm

such a happy and inspiring take on the breakup song

loved how it portrayed the end of a relationship as something that can be freeing, even joyful

it wasn’t love, and that’s ok! now its over, and you’re free!!

just a squishy little happy song i love it

favourite lyric: “hey mom, i know 'm crying/but you don't have to worry bout me/hang on, i might be lying/but a lion in a jungle is a king”

i love that verse bc it just makes absolutely 0 sense and it just makes me giggly

overall, 7.8/10

again, i did skip this one a lot bc im impatient and wanted to hear the new songs. doesnt make it any less good though

Routine

love the kind of dangerous vibe of this one

the soft, angry singing, almost like someone on the verge of snapping

i saw this one as being about noticing all the little toxic things that people say or do to you

and realizing it’s become a routine

and you’ve let it become one

its gotten this far because you’ve let it get this far. 

angry at the people who treat you like this, angry at the unhealthy relationships that you’ve allowed to become routine, angry at yourself for letting it slide

favourite lyric: “has it become routine? morning coffee, then lie to me?”

overall rating: 7/10, not one of my faves, but its a daisy the great song so legally it cannot be bad

Smile Pretty Girl

oh my god. OHHH MY GOD.

oh my god??

i need a sec. just give me a minute. I NEED A SECOND

this is the best song on the album hands down im sorry

this song makes me want to vomit and float and go into a coma oh lord

“im not that pretty... but im not bad” AHHHHHHH

i saw this one as being about mediocrity, the bitterness of living an ordinary life, and wanting to leave your mark

people say that all you need is time, all good things will come with time, patience is a virtue. but life is unpredictable. what i die, having spent my entire life waiting for something that never comes?

is this how you want to be remembered? life is short. its unpredictable. if you die right now, is this the mark you want to leave upon the world?

im wasting my time on meaningless little things. i need to be extraordinary. i need to secure my place in the world long after i’ve left it. i need to scream and yell and carve into the walls and proclaim that i was here. i lived. i did amazing, extraordinary, human things. and i loved every moment of it.

i dont even know. its so hard to put into words how this song makes me feel. but it was the absolute perfect ending to the regular album and more than making me want to die, it made me want to live. savour every moment. not let time pass me by

favourite lyric: all of it. oh my god, all of it. i am. oh.

but really, it would probably be “and i've been letting time/just walk right by my eyes/i should know better/that's what I get”

10/10 no questions asked thank you so much kelley and mina for doing this to me im going to explode

#daisy the great #all you need is time #music #new #indie #indie pop #my new obsession #i cant breathe??? omg?? #smile pretty girl #im sobbing

[traumatizeddfox]

Ok I'm sorry for the rant and I'm gonna be public enemy #1 for a minute but someone needs to say this:

I really wish age regression had stayed obscure as a symptom and just between us trauma sufferers bc now you have people stealing terms from systems for sexual reasons, people using said, now sexualized terms without knowing the point and origins of them, and parentifying their partners and friends and then tossing a fit from hell when said people, innocently and at no fault of their own, get tired of such a toxic dynamic and in extreme cases, leave.

Like, come on. Little was a word that was popularized by systems because THEY coined it, and then pseudo p*do s*x freaks stole it, and then people with "good" intentions "stole it *back*" without even thinking about it for like 2 seconds, using terms coined by said freaks and going "it's reclamation!" And trying to force everyone to suddenly be ok with, silencing systems when they try to argue the term was originally theirs and wish they'd cut out this behavior, and throwing a hell fit when anyone, including people who used to do it (I'm not implying it's voluntary because I Know it's not;) try to tell them to listen to systems.

I just want people to use their neurons for 2 seconds instead of what makes them feel good because I'm so fucking tired or this.

And then maybe ~unpopular~ but like I'm sorry i know it feels shitty bc i was there, but honey you're all romanticizing parentification, because that's all that dynamic IS. You cant go around expecting to get a parent out of a friend or partner and see NOTHING wrong with that. Get help, all of you, as a community. Move on from feeding and encouraging that behavior because i promise you it's far more toxic than you think it ever will be.

And before any of you assume shit, im an ex regressor, i had to literally train my brain to stop doing that, I'm not saying anyone can just do that and i certainly don't expect it, and again neither am I saying it's voluntary because it isnt. But expecting your friends and partners to parent you is NOT healthy and in fact is going to strain your relationships more than you can see. Look up parentification in BPD & DPD for good examples of what this looks like if you want honest, raw testimonies from people who were on the other side of the coin.

And yeah I've heard every argument there is to be said, I've heard every counter point, i don't care btw, i saw the real negative effects of parentifying the people around me just because my brain decided to toss me into the limbo of my childhood, and it is not ok. No matter how you feel, you have to be just as kind to others as you want them to be to you, that includes not burdening them with something so dangerously delicate.

YOU CAN ASK FOR HELP if you can't get out of that mindset and struggle to take care of yourself, but don't expect that to be permanent, people can't parent you. You need to learn how to look after yourself and grow independently from the watching eye of another person.

This goes specially for young people who aren't adults: GET OUT OF THESE SPACES, YOU'RE VULNERABLE. I can't even begin to tell you the absolutely insane amount of people who now as young adults have told me that they were groomed in those communities, both the "innocent / nonsexual ones" and the outright freaky ones. Which, yeah, we all are asking ourselves the same question about the later but I'm not gonna get into it. My point is this community, these communities and their subcategories are dangerous and festering a very toxic environment that hurts so many people and someone needs to start talking about it and taking it seriously.

Rant over. Everyone go home.

i agree with this! it’s frustrating because you don’t know who is doing it for kinks and who is doing it for actual trauma reasons and who is a system :/

#anon

[v-arbellanaris]

Not to nitpick on a personal rant, or revive your previous annoyance, but you've mentioned that Anders refers to Hawke as "one bright light in Kirkwall", instead of "one bright light in [his life]", but it was actually both! Former being a response to Hawke agreeing to get Ser Alrik's ass (unromanced) and the later is from Questioning Beliefs from Act III (romanced). 1/2

It my native language, "the light of one's life" is a very popular pet name, when conveyed by a single word, that translates to "[my] sun". It's also considered to be one of the most endearing ones. I've never seen someone find it repulsive before, leave alone if that someone is your partner of 3 years (unless they simply just hate pet names). I'm bringing up this random funfact because I feel somewhat guilty for this entire fandom stir, as it was my ask that OP was responding to 😔😔😔. 2/2

OH YOU'RE RIGHT!!! thanks for the correction! i forgot about that particular instance in act 3; it's been a while since my da2 pts, im currently redoing an origins run for Mood for my wip lol

hopefully this doesnt stir more stuff bc im content to let it lie now (like im annoyed but ive already blocked op so whatever), but i'll place the next bits after a cut just in case

for context: when he calls you the one bright light in his life in act 3, it's after the quest, justice, where he's setting things up for act 3's finale. specifically, that quest starts with him giving his valuables away to varric -- a clear indication of his suicidality/expectation that he's going to die by the end of this. he tells you, on the friendship romance route, you are the most important thing in my life, but some things are more important than my life. the entire speech is him trying to explain himself in a roundabout way, so that when things play out, you don't blame yourself for his actions or for not stopping him, so that you don't think you didn't matter to him at all/never mattered, because you did. he tells you, "you are the one bright light in my life. never blame yourself for what will happen." after like. four years together. seven years of knowing each other. he thinks he's going to die -- and in some pts, DOES die -- and he tries to make sure you know that you were really, truly loved, that he meant everything he said to you about caring for you, that this relationship mattered to him. like... every time that quest plays, i have to pause and take a breather or else i'm going to cry. lit just thinking about it makes my heart hurt.

i genuinely can't see how it's manipulative, or toxic? is it just me??? this is literally his goodbye to you, unless you spare him in the end and he goes with you to the gallows. this is what he wants his last words to be to you; a reminder that he loves you and that you shouldn't blame yourself for his actions.

i have similar petnames in my mother tongue, too. and i agree re: it being the most loving term of endearment. (u should also. Drop the term of endearment. if u want. so we can collectively adopt it for a/nders.) but the way OP phrased it doesn't seem to indicate any issues with petnames but rather the fact he said it at all which is really...

it's just really... aggravating? weird? idk? to me that this person cherry-picked it as "he calls you the one bright light in his life which is soooo toxic"

........ like. the implication here is that it's toxic because he's depressed? and depressed, suicidal people who tell you that you're the only thing keeping them going is some kind of.. terrible, awful manipulation tactic and not a desperate cry for IMMEDIATE help? as though he's holding his mental state over you, threatening you with it in order to get compliance or something? like if this is the friendship romance route, it's so weird that the apparent critique here is that anders... expects you to care about him/and cares about you? they just like. ignored the entire context around both times. even in my first blind da2 pt (my first romance was bela), when i got to that scene, i IMMEDIATELY felt concern on his behalf not alarm that he was somehow manipulating me?

and most of the post is like that. just... cherry-picking random things and blowing them out of proportion/making it out to be something he's not. like the entire post was just... shitting on an/ders for being a romance option? like. if you hate all the romantic aspects of the andersmance, you literally have four whole other options for a romance -- and we already know exactly who op prefers because they can't seem to stop themselves from constantly comparing the two romances, or rather, specifically, using the apparent "toxicity" of h/anders to prop up fe/nhawke -- like. go romance someone else then lol

also. i dont think you should feel guilty for anything. its kinda obv from OP's post that they'd had this in their mind for a long while (even tho it's not a fresh take by any stretch of the imagination) bc i saw other posts on my dash that i rolled my eyes at from them w similar phrasing for how they believed h/anders was toxic [in comparison to f/enhawke] & the implication that h/anders was somehow inherently inferior to f/enhawke as a ship. so. ultimately, disappointed but not surprised. this was likely inevitable the moment their blog gained traction by interacting w proa/nders blogs & content lol

#op was literally like *asks a/nders out on a date* hm. toxic of you to say yes :/ #JUST ROMANCE SOMEONE ELSE LOL #'i acknowledge jen hepler did some ableist shit when writing him but im also going to parrot that ableist shit and pretend it's acceptable #bc it comes from a ''fan'' this time' #well whatever i guess there's no accounting for taste #thanks for the ask. i have SOOO many feelings about anders and rewatching that scene gave me a cathartic cry after a shit day #HENNYWAYS. back to fic see u guys later #asks #vee.txt #suicide ment / #depression ment / #ive been bad abt tagging shit like this properly im so sorry

[johnmeowston]

talk to me about what pers thinks about gunner or the effect gunner has on him

HII so sorry went chatterbox mode . uno momento

i think in the beginning pers was a leetol hostile towards gunner. out of apprehension and also not being able to comprehend why gunner would go out of his way to help a person like pers/having nothing to gain from it (i think abt rp ....). this, however, leads to him finally starting to see the good in people . 2 me < if not seeing goodness in himself, he sees it in others !! sees it in gunner seeking out help for him despite bleeding nd Maimed himself ! pers almost immediately grows fond of him after this revelation, coupled with the fact that despite seeing him in his most vulnerable moment gunner didnt actively try to hurt him (most he did was like, piss him off briefly) . in the future i think hed b practically Attached to gunner . out of love nd also not knowing what he is Without him. he also doesnt question things gunner asks him to do cos he trusts his judgement Immensely as a leader nd as a friend (gay pride flag). and also uhh . ex agent urge 2 follow orders nd what not. additionally i dont think he enjoys being open 2 gunner ill be real . views his experiences as deserved and fears if he speaks about them itll be confirmed < deathly afraid of gunner agreeing with him/saying he did in fact need to be tormented and was out of line for fighting back. i think hed only share tid bits of it w him tbh

HELP this man is so affected . i think he feels weak whenever hes around gunner, tbh . how despite going through the Horrors gunner still holds himself as a proud and accomplished person (in pers' eyes), whereas he gets nervous whenever he hears a door shut. i think hes most prone to act tough around gunner than anyone else in the gang- his attempts at trying to make up the fact that hes factually useless. hes eternally grateful that gunner feels safe being vulnerable around him < makes him feel that despite being weak theres at least One person that trusts him enough to do so . i think hed try to get better for gunner, not out of like . "oh i love you so much you inspire me to get well ^_^" but instead a "im going to try and be someone you deserve. im sorry im the one you love" type way

ALSOO extra thoguht so sorry but i remember you sending that 1 post thats compared them 2 hit song i bet on losing dogs by mitski and i become ILLLLLL OH MY WORDD . cos ok. theres two perspectives on it and the first one fits so well 4 pers nd his whole mindset

so the first interpretation of losing dogs is that its a toxic relationship in which the narrator knows is truly Over they still find themselves flocking back to it !! they know they cannot win/cant have a happy ending but still believe in their partner/the losing dog. which fits pers soooo much bc he views the gangs/gunners attempts at helping him (2 me i think theyd b understanding of how he has little capability of violence left within him < teef nd claws . which were key parts of his fighting as well as him being unable to hold a gun properly anymore, which in his mind renders him as a useless, worn down weapon in desperate need of termination) as them pouring time and valuable resources into a hopeless cause, aka HIM !!!

the second interpretation is that the dog, being a person you love deeply, is fighting a conflict (either a physical or mental one) that you see them succumbing to but cannot interfere with. and in spite of how dire it looks for them you cant help but long for them to and bet on them Winning. and when they (inevitably) lose, you lose along side them!! you process the same pain they do as well. nd when youre asked why you bet on them despite them constantly losing, you answer you bet on losing dogs because YOU need the things you give them. you need someone to look at you and give you unconditional love and benefit of the doubt. you need someone with unwavering and unshakable faith in you and your ability to succeed despite the fact you seemingly almost always lose. and when you DO fail, they wont abandon you, and will remain by your side as you writhe in pain even though youve caused them hardship. you bet on the losing dog because youre seeking a promise in it- the promise that theyll be by your side even when you fail in the same way. even when youre the losing dog . this is persgunner coded 2 me

also umm. sily doodle

#asks #HELP so sorry . so chatterbox

[jishyucks]

        wips.

used mainly for me to keep up with myself bc im the type to start stories but sucks literal ass at finishing them

active = currently working on them

inactive = sitting in my docs & rotting but i don't wanna throw it out just yet

titles in quotations are just stand-in titles

might not be updated all the time

    ˗ˏˋactive wips. ˊˎ˗

‹𝟹 Untitled One.

synopsis: you're sent to help prince donghyuck get his shit together after driving away all the available princesses genre: prince!donghyuck x matchmaker!reader; royal au, kind of beauty and beast inspired status: writing/planning

‹𝟹 Make it With You

synopsis: No words can express how excited you were when your best friend, Yeri, asked you to be her maid of honour. You were looking forward to all the wedding planning – picking a venue, shopping for dresses, and crafting invitations… hell, Yeri even mentioned something about dancing and you were still looking forward to it all. But when you find out that you had to team up with Mark's best man, Donghyuck, for some of these tasks, you wonder if you’re even going to make it to the wedding. (what a suckass summary) genre: best-man!donghyuck x maid-of-honour!reader; pests to lovers status: writing/partially planning

‹𝟹 No Pain, No Gain

synopsis: gym goer taehyun keeps barging into your aid room with (poor excuses for) injuries and it's a matter of time before you realize why he's been doing so genre: gym-rat!taehyun x first-aider(?)reader status: writing—70% done

‹𝟹 Untitled Two.

synopsis: the many times jeno's early, and the one time he's too late genre: co-worker!jeno x reader; office au, idiots-to-lovers status: writing

‹𝟹 In a Different Light

still planning!

    ˗ˏˋ inactive wips.ˊˎ˗

‹𝟹 "Counting My Fingers"

synopsis: the times building up to your realization for your feelings for sunghoon genre: brother’s-best-friend!sunghoon x reader; idiots-to-lovers-ish status: writing/planning

‹𝟹 "Safe Haven"

synopsis: you keep meeting the same boy at your secret spot at the park genre: renjun x reader, meet-ugly, strangers-to-lovers status: planning

‹𝟹 "My Wingman"

synopsis: we get an answer to jeno's question of why assists in basketball were so valued genre: bff!jeno x reader, f2l, basketball-player!jeno, idiots-to-lovers, fluff status: writing/planning

‹𝟹 "Cuffed"

synopsis: you're handcuffed to your frenemy, choi yeonjun, and you can't get uncuffed until you're out of this stupid maze genre: yeonjun x reader, e2l/frenemies to lovers, crack, fluff status: writing/planning

‹𝟹 Untitled Three.

synopsis: you and donghyuck decide to fake a relationship for your own benefit. it's a win-win situation, right? genre: dance-captain!donghyuck x student-government-member!reader, fake dating au, low-key e2l (not rly they just don't vibe with each other at first) status: writing/planning

‹𝟹 Untitled Four.

synopsis: a boy washes up on shore with no memory of who he is and where he's from, so you and your family take him in until he recovers genre: beomgyu x reader, possibly royal au or historical au, strangers-to-lovers status: writing/planning

‹𝟹 "Better"

synopsis: jaemin's in a toxic relationship, you're doing horrible in the dating field—maybe... you're meant for each other? genre: f2l, angst, fluff status: writing

if you're super interested in one, please let me know! it really motivates me to write!

© 2023 jishyucks. pls do not copy/repost, translate, or claim as your own!

#wips

[afternunh]

i love to see oc ask games BUT i hate putting yall on the spot so im literally going to just answer them all and ramble about my rabbit thank u so much for ur time

1. What's your oc's gender identity? What's their relationship to their gender?

cis-ish man. viera gender stuff is weird, he went by they/them growing up but is he/him only now. toxic masculinity does affect him a bit 😔

2. What's your oc's orientation? (Romantic/sexual/platonic alterous ect) Do they have opinions about it?

gay! he likes men only. probably did struggle with it a bit at first since he'd beat himself up about not following tradition but like he got over it, men hot. since realised he does Not want to parent so he doesn't have that guilt anymore!

he's also possibly demiromantic? but he doesn't see any need to unpack all that he can barely cope with his one crush

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

idk i think puberty just hit him and he was like oh okay this is what we're doing? sure. definitely kissed boys and thought it was nice but wasn't super into relationships as a whole so never pursued anything serious until recently

4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?

yeah he doesn't get any hassle about it. thought his parents would have concerns but they're like my guy we RAISED u we know what ur like it's fine

5. How did you figure out your oc's identity?

idk most of my ocs are bi but i was people watching and some catgirl tried to hit on him in-game and i could almost hear him like oh absolutely not

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

they're useful for getting people to leave him alone. usually

7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

i mean he'd sworn off romance bc he thought it just wasn't for him until SOMEONE came and turned his world upside down

8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

not really he's very comfortable in who he is and what he does

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

yes! viera children aren't afab or amab so they don't get a government assigned gender until puberty hits! he took his very seriously so he adheres to masculine standards as much as he can because it's part of his job

10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?

he definitely hasn't before and wouldn't choose to but he cannot say no to apollo, it's embarrassing

11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?

he's fine coming out if it comes up in conversation but he barely talks so sometimes he can know people for years until they find out when he suddenly starts kissing his charge in front of them--

12. Does/did your oc ever wish they could change the way they are? Why? If it's in the past, how did they get over the feeling? (this can be about internalized homo/transphobia)

nope! he is content as he is

13. Would your oc be open to a poly relationship? Why or why not?

it's not something he feels a need for - he's also so intense and does not have the energy to be that for more than one person! he also has a jealous streak that he bottles up so although he'd prefer to be possessive, if apollo came to him and asked he wouldn't shoot it down

the rest are more generic and don't apply to him specifically ayo!!

#sindri; #brought to u by i can't do much while i recover eyoooo

[farmnap]

Fluff Alphabet-Sapnap

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?) 

He likes your humor. He likes your beauty. He loves everything about you. Mostly, though, he loves your kindness. You are just so nice to him. You hold him, whisper sweet things to him, and make him feel like its all alright.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?) 

He definitely wants a family, obviously not anytime soon though. He believes that he’d be a good father and that you’d be a good parent as well. He doesn’t tell you this, but sometimes he dreams about having a child, their little hands and feet. He goes through baby fever like every two months. 

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?) 

He prefers to hold you most of the time, it makes him feel like he’s protecting you. He will spoon you most nights or hold your head to his chest and wrap his other arm around your body. Sometimes tho he lets you lay on top of him and just sleep. He likes your weight on him, thin or not. 

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

i assume they'd be chill or more just hangouts. Like going to an arcade or an escape room. If it was a special occasion, birthday or anniversary, he’d take you to a fancy restaurant. He’d hate getting dressed up and eating food that isn’t worth the money, but he’d do it forever if it meant he got to see you happy. 

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

My lifeline. You make his world turn and his heart keep beating. Everything he does is for you (In a non weird obsession way) he just wants you to be happy

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?) 

He knew he was in love when you showed up at his house to hold him after he sounded upset on a call. that's it, no questions asked, you were just there.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?) 

He’s so gentle it’s almost infuriating to you because sometimes he wont even touch you. Like when y’all first started dating, he wouldn't hold your hand because he didn’t want to squeeze to much. He wouldn’t cuddle you because he didn’t want to suffocate you. He treats you like a doll

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

after he got over the hand holding fear stated previously, he holds your hand tightly, almost afraid to let go. He holds your hand whenever he can: in the store, in bed, on walks, in the car, on dates. He always has his hand in yours.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

His first impression of you was probably about your appearance. He’s only a 20 okay so he probably looked at your butt or chest first. Obviously when he actually talked to you, he would realize you were funny and nice. But yeah, purely physical at first.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

omfg yes. He gets so jealous. Sapnap’s not the kind of bf to get like toxic or rude when jealous tho. He just gets insecure and sad. 

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

You kissed him first, he was way too nervous to make the first move. He kisses you softly and with his hands on your cheeks. He loves holding you when you kiss, holding you close. Once Y’all are more comfortable with each other he may even put his hand on your neck while kissing you. It makes him all giddy.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

He would say it first, on accident. probably after being intimate and having you on his chest. Too lost in his mind, it just comes out.

“I love you”

“What?”

It scared both of you at first but then you smile and cuddled closer. It didn’t matter to him if you said it back right then or not, he knew you cared for him.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

When you guys stayed in on your 6 month anniversary. The plan was to go out and eat at this super fancy place but you guys missed the reservation. Instead of being sad, you guys stayed home and watched a bunch if princess movies and cuddled. It was sweet and the first time y’all actually just hung out.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

He doesn’t spoil you too much actually. He knows you can buy your own stuff and doesn’t try to take over if you don't ask him too. BUT on special occasions you are getting everything you even look at. he once dropped about 2,000 dollars on jewelry as a gift on your birthday.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Pastel yellow. Its a color of friendship and trust, which is what your relationship is built on. 

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

He uses the usual babe a lot, i cant see him using darling im sorry. He also 100% uses baby and sweetheart. Honey is also used. But mostly he would use variations of your name. 

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

He likes castles and royalty. Obviously there is still queens and stuff but he loves the whole castle fantasy. He thinks about being a knight in shining armor to save you.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

He uses this as an excuse to stay in bed and cuddle. Like that’s all he would want to do. No food, no responsibilities, just snuggling.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

When he was single he would just sleep or eat. We’ve all been there and there's nothing wrong with it. But now that he has you he would rant to you or cry. If you were upset he would listen to any and all problems you had without comment. He would just be there for what ever you needed.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

he talks about school, his family, his friends, and a shit ton of random Minecraft. Even if you got sick of it, you stick around bc he’s cute when passionate.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

in the most respectful way, he likes to have sex. it makes him happy and calms him down. Obviously if you weren’t feeling it, he wouldn’t make you and would go for just kisses and cuddles, also watching Moana bc he loves that movie. 

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

he shows off his set up and shoes. He splurges on those things and will be damned if the whole world doesn't know. 

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

He wouldn't propose for a while and surely not until y’all are both out of college and stuff but when he does its a whole thing. He takes you to a beach saying something like, “I heard the boardwalk food is amazing” or something like that. He would probably invite dream along to record and also being there for the biggest moment of his life. Obviously, you say yes and its so cute.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

(I’m sorry about this one I’m not a big music person)

"I'm Gonna Love You Through It" by Martina McBride is what i picked bc he would always be there no matter what, he just loves so much

Y = Yikes (Do they ever mess up in the relationship?)

Sapnap has made many many mistakes. He can be rude sometimes without even realizing it, he can spend more time with George than you, he can ignore you for a week for something petty. Thankfully, he comes to his senses after a while and talks to you about it. He tries to be as good as he can and communicate to you but he’s not perfect.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

oml he would beg you for a dog everyday! he just wants a German Shepard named Bently is that too much to ask?

#sapnap #sapnap x reader #sapnap smut #dream mcyt #mcyt

[dr3amofagame]

the amount of angst in the post-prison writing you did just gave me massive post-prison dream brainrot and i'm just. sitting here thinking about how sam dealt with the curious looks and glances and having to face what's he's done as a warden. and everyone else's reaction to everything because hey, maybe the prison WAS a torture chamber that nobody deserves to be locked in to be treated like utter trash.

(btw i love your writing and analysis! they give me so much life :DD)

thank you anon!! this universe is ,, Fun ,, im ngl -> have this continuation of it, w/ sapnap and sam!! it’s a bit messy but oh well

(edit: i added these two asks as well bc they fit and i thought it’d be a bit redundant to rewrite this scene lmao -> the implication that dream’s admissions abt exile mightve been the result of ,, torture is. uh. yikes.) 

(This one is DARK, please heed the warnings)

TW: PHYSICAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE (heavy warning for this one), starvation, toxic relationship, manipulation, references to the prison and exile, c!sam/warden!sam critical, violence, blood, dark themes, emotional distress, child abuse, torture

“Be honest,” Sapnap starts, quiet. “What did you do?”

Sam opens his mouth - hesitates, looks away. He should’ve known that his vague words and half-explanations that had been enough to push away most of the crowd - or at least, postpone the conversation for later - wouldn’t have been nearly enough to convince the man standing in front of him, but a part of him must’ve hoped, anyway. He’s not ready to speak, not ready to admit anything to himself, never mind someone else entirely - but ‘ready’ doesn’t matter, not when Sapnap is right here, waiting.

(He ignores how ‘ready’ didn’t matter for Dream when Sam had gone in, that first time, pick in hand and nothing but questions and rage spinning in an endless cycle in his mind, whirling together into something incomprehensible, insatiable, vicious - he’s not thinking about it.

He can’t think about it.)

“Well?” Sapnap’s voice raises, impatience coloring his tone, and it’s almost enough to draw a chuckle to Sam’s lips - he’d always been a little overeager, not doing well with silence, waiting, even as a kid. It’s part of the reason why he got along with Dream so well, Dream jumping at the chance to spend time with someone that didn’t shut him down for rambling and Sapnap simply excited at the chance to have someone that would join him on his hare-brained schemes instead of dismissing him as a dumb kid- and oh. Right.

The scrunch of his face is the same, Sam realizes, absently, as the expression Sapnap had when he was little; it’s the same crease between his eyebrows, the same slight jut to his bottom lip. Even with a new scar decorating his left jaw and the shadows under his eyes and collection of faint wrinkles belying his stress, he doesn’t look all that different - still looks young, a kid playing dress up in armor too big and too war-torn to belong to him. It’s easy to forget, but even after all the wars they’ve fought, even with all of the combat experience he’s had, Sapnap’s still barely twenty - only a few weeks out of being a teenager.

(He crushes the thought of what that makes Dream - he’s not. Thinking. About. It.)

“Hello? Earth to Sam?” Sapnap snaps his fingers in front of his face, and Sam blinks away the memories, the guilt, boxing it up and filing it neatly away to deal with - later. Never, ideally.

“Are you going to answer my question?”

Only later is now, there’s no escaping this conversation, and Sam. Really doesn’t want to be talking about this, right now. Sapnap fidgets, leaning on his right foot and then his left and then rocking back again - the feeling is mutual, then, but he knows the look in the younger’s eye well enough to know that neither of them are leaving without an explanation leaving Sam’s lips.

(Netherite and iron and smoke, bloodstained pickaxe tipping up a gaunt face, hand reaching around a too-prominent jawline with bruising force - are you going to answer my question, prisoner? Or are we going to have to do this again?

He’s not-

He can’t-)

“I-,” guilt, thick and heavy, circles his throat, chokes the words rising in his mouth. What can he even say? Can words really capture the sweat-slick desperation, the bubbling lava and heat and smoke stealing away all breath and thought, leaving nothing but a humming buzz of rage burning, hissing, begging for release? Can he really describe the endless darkness and weight settling on his shoulders, the hard edges and jagged fear taking anything soft, anything kind? Words swim in the back of his throat, try to reach his teeth, fall short; bloodstained memories haunt the back of his eyelids every time he blinks; there is so much, too much, to say, and yet nothing at all.

How does he even start?

There is no sympathy on Sapnap’s face when Sam looks, but there isn’t any cruelty either, just dark, watching eyes, lips thin and pressed together, jaw clamped shut, tense. Indifference, or a pale imitation of it, meant to hide the mess of his hair, the tremble in his hands, the helpless, desperate thing growing in his pupils. Sam understands and wishes he doesn’t; regrets, and wonders if he has the right, anymore.

“It- started, as an interrogation,” Sam stumbles over his words, stares at his hands because looking at Sapnap’s face will be too much, is too much. “I was angry. The prisoner- Dream- was desperate. That cell-” he shakes his head, remembers obsidian in his hands, remembers tearing away carpet, paintings, plants, remembers leaving the box bareboned, desolate, a cage and nothing more, “It messes with you. Screws with your head. I knew it, he knew it, but I guess we didn’t realize- I guess I didn’t realize-”

(Blood and crunching bone and shrill screams - tell me what you did to him-)

“I needed information. He wasn’t talking. I got- heated, and he laughed, and something- snapped, I guess.”

(I’ll tell you I’m sorry please please sam stop please)

“All I had on me was a pickaxe. He wasn’t talking, I was desperate - angry - I needed to know. I didn’t-”

(I just knew I needed to drag him away, he was ruining everything, he was destroying everything, I just needed him to leave before he brought down the whole damn server with him - the tnt was supposed to be a one time thing)

“It was supposed to be- one time. Was never supposed to happen, at all. But I guess I got mad - for me? For Tommy? I don’t- I don’t know, and it was- easy, you know? Take away the clock, one day. Give him less potatoes the next.”

(It was easy to do it again, I guess, mess with his invitations a little, take some of his stuff. There was nobody around but me and him and he’d ruined so much, he’d messed everything up - I thought that maybe if I took away his armor enough, he wouldn’t be able to go back. He wouldn’t ruin everything.)

“He’d done- so much. He was so awful to Tommy, to everyone- I thought I could prevent that. I thought maybe if I broke him enough, he wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone again. I renamed the pickaxe Will Breaker, to remind me, to remind him, I don’t know. I-”

Sam laughs, tired, poisonous, ignoring the way Sapnap whispers, stricken, looking at his hands and seeing nothing but red. Dream’s face, bruised, bloody, but glimmering with something almost like satisfaction comes to mind - and oh. Oh.

(Bloodstained teeth twisted in a bitter smile - Sam, I thought I had to.)

He gets it now. He wishes he didn't.

“I thought- ha-” His hand comes up to his face - he’s crying. When did he start crying? ”I thought I had to.”

#tw abuse #tw physical abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw emotional distress #tw starvation #tw blood #tw dark themes #tw dark content #tw manipulation #tw toxic relationship #tw child abuse #tw violence #c!sam critical #warden!sam critical #awesamdude critical #the character !! not the cc #this one is h e a v y oops #tw torture #is this ending good? probably not #but oh well #my writing :D #my asks !!

[sovpologist]

hi, genuine question! I want to like Mara, but d2 lore shows her, in my eyes, as selfish and cruel, set on her own goal with no consideration for others. At least that's what I got from marasenna lorebook.

Why is she liked by so many in community? I feel like I'm overlooking something over things I mentioned above, but I would appreciate a perspective from someone who likes her character! If it's okay to ask!

its totally okay to ask!! this is going to be a long post so im going to put it under a readmore :)

i just want to stress first that mara is like.... widely disliked by many in the community. it used to be very unpopular to like her and if you even said anything remotely positive about her, people would reply to your posts and send you anons about how you were a terrible person for liking such a manipulative and toxic character. it was only recently that community opinion kind of started to shift, and people started to actually appreciate her character as nuanced and interesting. i definitely dont think this is because of me or anything crazy like that, but ive tried to correct misconceptions about her and cultivate a space on my blog at least where people can just openly like mara and not feel like they have to qualify it by constantly assuring people that they know mara's done bad things too (because literally every character in d2 has done bad things, and somehow people understand that liking the uldren doesnt mean you support him killing cayde but cant apply that same concept to mara for some reason). ok, im getting off my soapbox now and im going to just talk about why i like her.

mara is genuinely just such a fascinating character to me. reading the marasenna im really struck by how alone she is, even as a 19 year old human. her mom has essentially abandoned her and says that she's mara's friend but not her mother, and mara's father is never mentioned, so mara literally has no parental guidance or supervision or love. this puts a lot more of her pre-awoken actions into context, such as her not knowing how to interact with people and preferring to keep herself away from the rest of the crew. everyone mara loves leaves her. her mom stays in the distributary, uldren is distant in his efforts to impress and surprise her and then dies, and sjur dies too.

i also love mara's character arc, although it kind of makes me sad. mara is so painfully human in the earlier parts of the marasenna. she's awkward, she's lonely, she thinks her and uldren's secret language is "cool," she gets embarassed at her mom's embarrassing petnames, she hero-worships alis li and listens to her advice. watching her lose all of this and crystalize into a queen is so interesting. remember, mara didn't go out into the fight between the darkness and the traveler bc she knew she would gain power and create the awoken, its stated that she went out there to die. so a 19 year old just trying to die peacefully ends up witnessing firsthand the power of the dark and light and being tasked with essentially creating a new species, knowing that one day she wants to go back and fight the darkness. she becomes such a politician and has to scheme and plot and really loses her humanity while following ALIS' advice- alis was the one who told her that people need a mascot, not a friend. this also makes for a really interesting scene where alis grants mara one favor, and instead of asking for political power, even though mara is such an intensely political and scheming person, she tells alis the truth about the awoken and asks for forgiveness. alis, who mara looked up to, doesnt forgive her, and mara really internalizes this and starts to permantantly close herself off. mara made herself into a queen and lost her humanity in the process. there's a couple people who see the real her, like sjur, but even sjur doesnt really understand her. but her relationship with sjur is also so well written and interesting, sjur being the one person she lets herself drop her mask around and just act human. i made a post about this once, but even mara's speech patterns change around sjur, becoming much more casual and "normal." however, at the same time, mara's mask/persona is a part of her character, and one that i love. people hate her for being "mean," but i like characters like that. mara doesnt take any shit, even from the protagonist, and has her own plans and goals that she doesn't feel obligated to share or change for other people. she's ambitious, sticks to her guns, and doesn't allow other people to influence her.

you say she's selfish, and i think it is easy to brush her off as selfish and doing everything for her own gain, but there's a lot of subtext and outright text in the marasenna and other lore that shows mara genuinely believes that the only way to fight the darkness is to become a being on the same level as the darkness and the traveler. she doesn't let the awoken become immortal gods, which some people regard as a bad thing, but she did that for a reason. mara understands that a people who are eternal and ageless will never grow as people, and she knew that the darkness wanted them to just be complacently sitting aside in their little realm while it does whatever it wants. mara wasn't going to let that happen, and knew she had to find a way to encourage people to leave paradise. you can dislike the way she went about this, essentially encouraging conflict and war among her people, but she did not just do it for her own gain or amusement. mara has also been hated on for starting the reef war/firing a missile at the house of wolves, people act like she did that just for fun too, but the eliksni fleet was heading to conquer earth. instead of just hiding and building up her own resources, which wouldve been the logical thing to do in this situation, mara put her own fleet and power on the line to draw the eliksni's attention away and help earth. she doesn't do things solely bc they benefit her, but because she genuinely loves and wants to help earth. her uncaring persona is a mask, the thing that she feels she needs to be for people to have faith in her.

i have more to say but this is already so long and ive said a lot, so i'll end it here :) at the end of the day, some people are just not going to like mara and thats totally fine. she's not everyone's type, bc she IS ambitious and manipulative and sometimes cruel. i just wish she didnt get a disproportionate amount of hate for being like that when i know for a fact that if she was a male character she would not get this much hate, and i wish that people could just dislike her normally without lying about her or misinterpreting her character and motivations. but if you dont like her, you dont like her! sometimes we just dislike characters, sometimes for well thought out reasons snad sometimes just for no reason! thats completely fine, as long as you're respectful!!

#long post #ask #i did not read this over again before i hit post so if anything is grammatically weird just ignore it #and if its hard to understand just send another message and ill try to explain #tldr; misunderstood gay asshole with a heart of gold? SIGN ME UP

[miyasins]

（◞‿◟）hq hc // they built different

pairings: oikawa tōru, kageyama tobio, terushima yūji x gn/reader

summary: ahaha.. 😗 boyfriends that aren’t the best boyfriends.. just word vomit i swear

containing: fluff empty thoughts angsty, just angst, teeny crack, ANGST, toxic relationships, alt universe, !! SPOILERS !! for shittykawa, nsfw bc im a dumb bitch and h word so 18+

an// i am trash and im here for it. big sad at the moment so why not torture myself with this shit and writing about hq characters fucking me over but it had to be done and it was done terribly thank (*´꒳`*)

+ i can’t believe i’ve done this to terushima im so sorry 🥲 ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

oikawa tōru

numero 1 on the list but certainly just as Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) as the others

love love love pancake tōru i’d let him use me any time anywhere tbh

big dick, pretty dick, shlong dick and a filthy mouth?? please🥵

ruin my life

committed relationships on the other hand.. absolute trash

yeah mans devoted to volleyball but that’s basically his first and last love, no in between

this shithead literally moved to argentina to beat his rivals ಠ_ಠ

if that doesn’t say committed then idk what is

he’s the kind of boyfriend that would treat you so good and give you all the attention in the beginning

emphasis on the beginning;

you’d think he’s the perfect package; tall, charming, pretty face, in tune with his emotions and others, intellectual, athletic

and damn he could be from what i just listed off ugh yum 🤤

but his personality is just so ,,,, not with the program

even if you guys started dating during high school or met him in argentina

he be out here making you feel special for like a min then make everything about him the next

he’d take you out on fancy dates, cute pictures with you at osaki hachiman-gu shrine or when he took you to la boca for their beautiful caminito street museum in buenos aires

homeboi would then ditch you all of sudden bc he’s like

‘sry i scheduled a practice at __ time’ ‘i forgot i have to meet up with iwa-chan ok bye’ ‘i need to practice my serves now to become the best player in the world’ 🥺😔

like it’s valid for him to be confident in himself and whatever but he’s such a self centered asshole too focused on his career to think about your relationship

you wholeheartedly support his dreams, but he doesn’t see you in it for the long run

his priority is and will always be volleyball in his eyes

it takes a toll on his love life every single time duh

and does he care? not really

to him he can find someone else if you break up with him 🤢🤢

with his career, it’s a go big or go home situation like that’s not even a question

his time with volleyball >>>>>> his time with you (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

i need a moment

like y’all don’t even date for more than 3 months so he’s not that attached to you as you are to him

big ouch

that made my heart pee tears for a bit

anime boys ruining my life: confirmed

however those are the circumstances that comes with oikawa tōru

you and his previous relationships really do be out here thinking that you’d be the one he changes for

sorry honey don’t even bother

kageyama tobio

the reason? a n g e r management issues 

and overall dumbassery on his part

ok no, we’re not timeskipping this version of kags bc tbh he was one of our babies who had the best character development

you know what

actually maybe like 2nd and 3rd year timeskip yama

does not comprehend romantic feelings at all 🥺😣

no experience in the love department; zinch, nada, no tienes 

he didn’t even know how to socially interact properly until his first year in high school

baby boy is getting there ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

but to be fair, he had a lot of misfortunes growing up so valid

doesn’t mean it hurts any less

anyways

you guys would fight a lot; and i mean A LOT

usually it’s with you trying to tell him to take a break from overworking himself and maybe go out on a date to let him breathe

the answer is no and brushes you off; CUE THE ARGUMENT

sometimes they’re the worst things like

he doesn’t want to meet your parents, he doesn’t want you to meet HIS parents, forgotten dates; that he would arrange himself to try and make up for his incompetence, ignoring you for days when a big game is coming up

it hurts you and he knows that. he just continues to do so when you say you understand

he doesn’t know how to read the room most times m(._.)m

his relationship with you would surprisingly last for quite a while though

only because you had some good memories with him despite the rocky situations

whenever ennoshita or yamaguchi cancel practice, you guys would go out for a bit; albeit awkwardly bc hinata would crash your dates then proceed to ask kags for a toss

it’s okay though bc he’s a cutie sunshine and you also enjoy watching them practice

there’s also that one time he won two entry tickets to the carnival during a sports event at school and he won you a stuffed kumamon toy

you named it yama-kun ♪(´ε｀ )

vbc boys are very confused as to how kageyama managed to make your relationship last

but the members are just like ????? good? for? you? i? think?

and he’d let them congratulate you guys for your 1 year anniversary; nervously laughing when one of them asks when the wedding would

but in reality; he just didn’t know how to break up with you

you overhear him talking to tsukishima weeks later when you were on your way to the gym and your heart just plummets to your stomach

tsukki as usual was making jabs at kageyama and teasing him about you guys’ relationship, telling him that you’re still with him bc the sex is good

you haven’t even touched third base with him bc he’s always focused on volleyball

tho before you can announce your appearance, kags is already fuming and like

‘i don’t even like them that much! i never meant to date them for this long! i just don’t know how to break up with them!’

ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ (ㆀ˘･з･˘)

just absolute silence after that

yachi or hinata would notice you first and starting slapping kageyama to shut up, giving you pitying glances

and when he sees you, he knows he’s fucked up

would immediately follow you once you run out of the gym and you’re hoping to hear him say that he didn’t mean and that he actually loves you

but nope 🤢

that’s not the case

he literally goes

‘sorry you weren’t supposed to hear that’

then continues on explaining that your relationship isn’t working out and makes a half-assed apology on how he shouldn’t’ve taken advantage of your feelings for him

as tears stream down your face bc what the fuck right

wasted 12 months with his dumbass only to get dumped with the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ cliche

safe to say he attains the reputation ‘king of heartbreak’ instead of ‘king of the court’

and yama-kun stuffie meets their end in a dumpster lit on fire 🥰✨

terushima yūji

he’s such daddy material it hurts to put him here

not the good kind of daddy if you know what i mean 🤤 😋

wink wink nudge nudge

but moving on 

no canon hairstylist yūji here folks just an alternate universe bartender dickwad

obviously the reason why he would be a terrible partner to you is his fuckboy vibes

constantly cheats on you and blames it on the alcohol, never himself (´･_･`)

he would be the type to flirt with everyone while he’s on the clock and giving the hot ones drinks on the house before he’s off at a stranger’s place at the end of the night

while you’re at home waiting for him, worried bc he’s not answering your calls and messages (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

i hate myself

you know he was off fucking around when he returns to your shared apartment, smelling like booze and a fragrant perfume so different from yours

not to mention the amount of hickeys he doesn’t bother covering up, probably because he’s drunk off his ass

im scared how easy it is for me to write him like this

furudate please forgive me for tainting your characters 😔😭

you’ll be constantly fighting after those nights, throwing things at him from around your place, having a screaming match with yourself while he’s trying to beg for your forgiveness

lying to you about how he’s not going to do it again

and he’ll change for you he promises, just don’t leave him

you’re the only one for him he swears, he loves you with all his heart

those would be his exact words every time you catch him cheating on you

and you’d forgive him bc you believe he’d change back to the same terushima yūji you fell in love with in highschool

the one who used to bring you flowers on your monthsaries and proclaiming his love for you at the top of his lungs through the hallway (〃ω〃)

the one that would cuddle you in bed and talking to each other about the weirdest shit

usually memes and the, do you think we’re just living inside a black hole and everything we perceive are just situations we’ve recycled through the years but we’re actually just rotting brains the governments’ controlling? banters ٩( 'ω' )و

the yūji that your parents loved whenever he came over bc he was so charming and made them laugh

the same yūji that would ultimately shove you into the bathroom after dinner with his fingers occupying your drooling mouth to shut you up while he pounds into you against the sink 🥵💃🏻💃🏻

he’s really not the same anymore, but you’re still holding onto the past and you know it 

you choose to throw that aside because you love him

you’re relationship is just a constant cycle, hurt and broken promises piling up and burying the precious memories into the ground

he really is still in love with you, as fucked up as it is, remembering your anniversaries and keeping a picture of you inside a locket around his neck

treating you so well whenever he’s sober and taking you out on dates, to places you both love and cherish  

but the adrenaline and actions of being with someone behind your back is so addicting to him

he knows he doesn’t deserve you, but selfishly holds on because you’ve been the only constant in his life, the only one that understands him

it’s a toxic relationship you both can’t get out of

the same cheat, fight, beg, and make up shit

but once everything becomes clearer for you, once you’re out of the past, that’s when it boils over

you know he’s not the same terushima yūji you fell in love with

#miyasins — hq #haikyuu headcanons #kageyama tobio x reader #oikawa x y/n #terushima x reader #no thoughts brain empty #brain go brrrr #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!! #haikyuu angst #oikawa tooru #oikawa angst #oikawa tōru #haikyuu oikawa #kageyama tobio #kageyama x y/n #haikyuu kageyama #tobio headcanons #kageyama angst #haikyuu scenarios #terushima angst #terushima x y/n #terushima yuuji #terushima hcs #haikyuu terushima