#tr angst

[yuuuhiii]

≡ The Weekend

sum: You were only supposed to be a booty call. So why does Rindou find himself wanting more of you?

includes : Rindou Haitani x reader, 5k words, SMUT, fluff, angst, open ending?, fwb, alcohol usage, vulnerable Rindou

other : This fic is inspired by BIBI’s The Weekend! And a little from DEAN’S Die 4 you:) so have fun with that:D this is my first time writing a fic this long so please leave feedback! I’d appreciate it a lot:)

Would it be ironic to say you met Rindou in a club? Or more so, predictable? Or was it bound to happen?

He was the club owner after all, he’d never seen you before. He’s sat in his VIP section with Ran, girls littering the table. Rindou couldn’t care less though as he watched you from his seat. Eyes scanning your form and face.

It seemed you were only here with a friend. You both danced and joked on the dance floor, your guy's drinks sloshing in your hand. He even gets irked when he sees a guy trying to rub up on you but you shove him away. A smirk laces his lips at that, he’s trying to read you.

What your personality was like.

Were you loud and rebellious? Or shy and reserved? He guessed he’d have to find out for himself. With that conclusion he gets up, the girls that were feeling him up whining.

“And where are you off to?” Ran said with a smirk, watching as his little brother dusted himself off.

“Somewhere.” He muttered, eliciting a laugh from his elder brother.

You had made your way to the bar, refilling on a new beverage. He sits next to you and the bartender straightens up, greeting him.

“I’ll pay for her tab,” Rindou says and the bartender nods. You turn to look at him with your eyebrows raised.

“I got it covered. Thanks.” You say with feigning gratitude, sipping your drink. He turns fully towards you with a smirk.

“I’m fully aware you do, I can’t treat you?” He says with his raise of his brows. You narrow your eyes skeptically at him.

“Without even knowing me.” You roll your eyes, somewhat amused. He lets out a chuckle.

“Well then, will you let me get to know you?” You pretend to think over your answer, deciding to tease him more.

“Your way of getting into girl's pants is paying for their tabs? I’m flattered.” You place a hand on your chest, lightly gasping. Rindou is enjoying this, an amused smirk on his face.

“Only yours.” You stare at him for a second then gaze down at your drink.

“Y/n.” You say and he hums, satisfied.

“Rindou.” He holds out his hand, and you look at it and back at him, slowly taking his hand in yours. He stands up abruptly, surprising you.

“Wanna see something?” You blink, and with a hum you let him lead you to where the DJ is.

He waves his free hand the guy is gone. You watch as he messes with the turntables with experience, sipping your drink with a small smile.

“You’re good with your hands.” You say with a bite to your lip and he looks at you over his shoulder.

“This is nothing.” He pulls away and reaches for your hand.

You’re in front of the system as he cages you between it. He takes your drink and places it to the side. His back presses up against your chest, his hands placed over yours. He leans down close to your lips, whispering.

“This okay?”

You were usually one to never wither under a man’s presence. But this one had you weak in the knees. You hum and he smiles, straightening back up. He coaches you through what everything is. What button is what, which switch is which, and even shows you how to scratch.

The whole ‘lesson’ has you sharing laughs and smiles with the latter. He watches you with content as you mess around with the turntables. It was probably terrible for everyone in the club however he couldn’t care less.

“Ok, ok no more.” You giggle and his hands rest on your waist.

The music goes back to the way it was and he slowly moves you to the rhythm. You roll your eyes, engaging in his small act.

“You’re trying awfully hard don’t you think?”

“Huh?” He yells and you slightly push him, marking him snort.

His hand is clasped in yours once again and he leads you around the club, pushing a curtain it reveals a whole other empty club room. Now it was just the two of you, no people or music to interrupt you both.

“So? What were you saying?” He says as he walks over to the bar, pouring himself some whiskey. You sit on the stool, your chin resting on the palm of your hand.

“I said, don’t you think you’re trying too hard?”

“With what?” He says with a lazy grin, sipping his drink.

“You know what Rindou? You try this hard with other girls?” You tilt your head and he bites the inside of his cheek.

“Nah, you’re special.”

“I know.” You smile and he grins.

He walks over to you standing inches away from between your legs. You stare up at him and he’s physically holding himself back from shoving his lips against yours.

“You’re stunning.” He says almost breathlessly and you smile.

“Thanks.” He leans down to peck your lips but your hands shoot up to his face, pecking the corner of his mouth.

“I’m more than just a booty call Rin.” He smiles, his violet eyes boring into yours.

“I’m glad we got that covered.”

Is the last thing he says before he’s smashing his lips against yours. The kiss is feverish and needy. He’s slotting himself between your legs, big hands resting on your waist.

The kiss turns heated fast, his tongue easing into your mouth. You let out a small moan, mostly to egg him on which succeeds when he squeezes your waist. You bite down on his lip and he groans, your hands moving into his hair. He pulls away and starts attacking your neck with bites and kisses. You tug on his hair and another groan leaves him.

“Fucking beautiful.” He says breathlessly, sucking on your collarbone.

Your head leans back in bliss, his hand sliding under your dress. Teasingly, he inches closer to your clothed cunt, causing you to trap his between your thighs.

A loud buzz halts you both. You blink and he groans not out of pleasure but annoyance. He pulls his hand from under your dress, pulling out his phone.

Missed calls and texts pop up from his brother, making him suck his teeth. He rolls his eyes and looks towards you. You’re pouting and he smiles, tugging at your lip.

“I gotta go.” He sighs and your pout deepens.

“Bored already?” You scoff teasingly and he smiles, pecking your lips.

“Never. Let me give you my number. So I can finish what I started.”

When you pull out your phone it displays texts from your friend, saying she had already left. You huff when you stand up and he pushes a strand of hair past your ear.

He kisses you again however this one’s longer, trying to savor your lips against his. He walks you out of the club, standing lazily next to you. He shrugs off his blazer, placing it over your shoulders.

“You got a ride home?” You yawn and let him know you’d just Uber home.

“I’ll pay for it, make sure you get home safe.” He tussles with his hair, and you hum.

His phone rings again and his face is quickly laced with annoyance. As the car pulls up he opens the door for you, making sure you got in carefully.

“Text me?” He says as he closes the door, the window rolling down.

“Desperate?”He laughs and leans down, kissing you again. He nods his head and the car is off.

He sighs once again, walking back into the club. His brother is standing there with a smile on his face.

“Who was she?” He raises his brows and Rindou scoffs.

“A woman.”

“I could see that Rindou, I have eyes. Another plaything?”

“Dunno, we’ll see”

Rindou didn’t mean to not respond to your texts but things at the clubs had been busy. Several events and just having to manage the different locations as well.

Luckily it’s the weekend and he has a certain person he wants to see.

rindou

hey, you home? 10:45 PM

y/n

Oh? You still remember me? 10:50 PM

rindou

very funny. Can I come over? Rather talk to you in person. 10:51 PM

y/n

only if you’ll bring me smth from the convenience store😊 10:51 PM

rindou

mhm, let me know what and send your address. 10:52 PM

y/n

k<3 10:53 PM

Rindou is off to the convenience store, grabbing what you wanted, and a box of condoms. The cashier gives him a smug look but Rindou ignores him, grabbing his stuff and leaving.

From where you are on the couch, you hear knocks on your door. The clock read eleven o’clock. You patter to the door with a small smile, opening the door. Your eyes widen at the sight before you.

Rindou had his round glasses on, a very loose v-shaped shirt and baggy pants, jewelry littering his hands. You guess you’ve been staring for quite some time when Rindou speaks up.

“Am I allowed to come in?” He says with a small smirk and you quickly open the door, letting him walk in.

He walks over to the counter, setting your stuff on the counter. You light up at the snacks and quickly open one of them up.

“So, gonna tell me why I haven’t heard from you?”

“A lot of shit was goin' on with the club, a fuck ton of events and stuff.” He sighs, pushing up his glasses and rubbing his temple. You pause your chewing.

“You’re the owner?” You blink at him and he blinks at you back.

“Uh, yeah?”

He’s a little surprised you didn’t know, given that everyone knew who the Haitanis were. You mumble a small ‘oh’ and he shakes his head in amusement.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” You speak up and he laughs, pushing them up.

“What is it a turnoff?” He quirks a brow and you smile, setting your snack down.

“No, it’s cute.” He cringes, turning away.

“No, it’s not.”

“Too manly to be called cute?” You poke fun at him and he narrows his eyes at you.

“Not a word I’d associate myself with.” You let out a laugh and he finds himself smiling at the sound.

You ask a little bit more about the club and throughout the night Rindou kinda rambles. It’s weird to him honestly, with any other woman he’d come to get things done and leave right after.

But ever since that night he laid his eyes on you, you piqued his interest. He just found himself wanting to know more about you, wanting to be more around you.

“You have a tattoo as well?” You peer up at the deep black ink on his arm and he hums.

“It’s a pretty big piece.”

“Think I’ll be able to see it all tonight?”

You knew what to say to take his breath away. Most of the girls he’d meet were never upfront or held themselves high like you did. They were…easy, but you were the true definition of a woman.

At one point you had brought a couple of beers, the both of you just chatting the night away. You guys had moved to your couch, his arms outspread on the back of the couch with you close to his side. You hum along to his stories, taking a swig of your beer.

“I didn’t know there were still interesting guys left in Roppongi.” He smiles down at you.

“I’m one of a kind sweets.” You roll your eyes at him, placing your beer down.

“You’re so corny.” You laugh, raking a hand through your hair.

Rindou’s eyes rake over you, you were very pretty. He’d seen when you were all dolled up and now when you were natural and bare. Just a tousled T-shirt and short shorts. He’d be lying if those shorts weren’t bothering him the whole night though.

“You’re beautiful.” He almost whispers and you gaze at him with a soft smile.

“You are too.”

Out of the times that you’ve seen him, you finally got him to blush. You feel a sense of pride well up in you, even a little confidence.

You got up from where you were sitting, straddling his lap. His downturned eyes were captivating, you could stare at them all day. While your hands reach up to grab his glasses, his hands rest at the base of your thighs. He watches you intently when you place them on the coffee table. Your hands move up his chest, resting on his neck.

“You gonna finish what you started.” You asked, inches away from his lips. Both of your eyes are lidded and he lazily smiles.

“If you’ll let me.” His hands move to the small of your back and you hum, finally connecting your lips.

It’s slow and sensual not as rushed as it was last time. The both of you take time to experience each other’s mouths. He pulls away though, nipping at your neck.

“They already gone away?” He says lowly and you laugh.

“Well yea it’s been a week dummy.” You feel him smile against your neck, tugging at your shirt.

“S’fine, I’ll just give you more.”

You pull back to pull off your shirt and he’s a little taken aback when you’re not wearing a bra. You cringe a little at the feel of him cupping your breast, the cold metal of his rings making your bud harden.

“Want me to take them off?” You purse your lips and shake your head to which he smiles.

“They’re hot.” His smile widens, leaning closer to your breasts.

“Atta girl.” He pulls a breast into his mouth, sucking and nibbling like he was on your neck.

Your whining and squirming against him, your movements have him hardening underneath you. He pulls off with a pop, his lidded eyes staring up at you.

“Where’s your room.”

“Down the hall to the left.”

In a second he’s lifting you, making you squeal. You wrap your arms around his neck, kissing along his jaw. He groans when you suck a spot under his jaw near his ear, making you grin.

“Found it~” He grins, kicking your door open and placing you on your bed. He takes off his shirt throwing it on your floor, he’s moving to kiss you again but your hands against his chest stop him.

“Something wrong?” He pulls back and your hand immediately begins to trace his tattoo.

“Jesus, why is everything about you so hot.” You pout and he lets out a small laugh.

Your hand slowly drags down to his stomach, dragging over his clothed cock. He hisses, pushing you back on the bed. Achingly slow, he pulls down your shorts and panties.

“Fuck, you’re so wet, do I even need to prep you?” He looks up at you and you shake your head.

“Just fuck me.” You whine and he sighs, taking a condom out of his pocket.

“Are you clean?” You ask and he looks confused.

“Yes? I never fuck without a condom.”

“I’m on the pill.”

“Are you clean?” He retorts back.

“I don’t sleep around.” You cross your arms.

“This your first hookup?”

“That a problem?” You narrow your eyes at him.

“‘Course not.” He shoves the condom back in his pocket, stepping out of his jeans. You blink at his cock when it slaps against his lower abdomen.

“Y-You’re huge.”

“That a problem?” He teases and you scoff.

“‘Course not.” You mimic his voice and he just smirks.

“Keep it up, let’s see how bold you are.”

You bite your tongue when he rubs his tip against your slit. You both moan, his eyes are raking over your body and he’s already panting.

“S-Stop teasing Rin.” You whimper and he groans.

“S-Shit don’t say my name like that.”

He’s inching himself inside you and you kinda regret not getting prepped. Rindou was girthy, it felt like you were getting split in half.

“S’big.” Your legs quiver, he smooths his hands on your thighs, putting your legs on his shoulders. With a thrust, he bottoms out.

“Fuck!” You moan, gripping your bedsheets.

“You’re fucking t-tight.” His brows are creased, trying to calm himself or else he knew he’d blow his load. It gave you a moment to adjust to his size as well. He pressed a peck to your ankle.

“I’m gonna move ok?” You nod, your lips pulled between your teeth.

He almost pulls out, slamming right back into you. He sets a steady rhythm, your bed creaking. Your breathless whines only egg him on.

“Shit baby, so tight and pretty.” He’s losing himself, he can feel it. Your warm pussy has him feeling like a virgin all over again.

“R-Rin please.” You beg you don’t even know what exactly for. Just babbling out whatever comes to your mind, anything you could usher out.

“Please what?” He pants, moving with more force. You clench around him and he stutters.

“Pussy sucking me in.” He groans as he leans down, putting you in a mating press. This new angle has you seeing stars, your eyes rolling back.

“R-Rin.” You moan, your nails dragging along his back. You feel his dick twitch at the act.

“Let go, baby. I got you.” His hand comes down to rub eights on your clit. With a high pitch gasp, you’re coming undone around him.

“Oh shit.” He groans when he feels your walls close around him, even tighter than before. The final blow for him is your hands in his hair tugging but more so your words.

“K-Kiss me Rin.”

With one more harsh thrust, he’s smashing his lips against your lips. His teeth biting down on your bottom lip. His seed explodes and fills you until you’re full of him. You throw your head back already past your limit. He is too but he fucks his nut back into you mindlessly.

Afterwards, he’s falling against you, your guy's ragged breath mirroring one another’s. He moved to your side, you cringed at the feeling of him pulling out.

“You ok?” He rasps, looking down at you. You nod, scooting up your bed, and resting your head against the pillow.

“Haven’t been fucked that good in a while.” You lazily smile and he shakes his head, a grin on his face. You scoot closer to him, your hand tracing the curves and swoops of his tattoo.

“M’tired.” You blink, eyes slowly falling shut.

Before fully giving into your slumber, you reach for his hand. His eyes widen, looking at your sleeping form. His heart is beating at an abnormal speed but he blames it on the sex, that he hasn’t calmed down. However he knows he should leave but he turns on his side, facing you.

“I don’t think I’m good for you.” He mumbles, letting himself to succumb to slumber as well.

When you wake up your bed is cold and empty, your heart pangs but you somehow have a little hope. You get up and put on a shirt and some panties.

“Rin.” You call out as you walk through your apartment.

Cold.

Empty.

You sigh, turning to open your refrigerator. At the same moment your door swings open. You gasp, turning to the door and it’s Rindou with bags in his hand.

“What are you doing here?” You whisper and he blinks.

“Ouch, went to get you breakfast.” He sets the bag down. You shake your head, walking towards him.

“That’s not what I meant sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to come back.” You look down and he gazes longingly at you, you don’t catch this though.

“Well I’m here.” He mumbles, pulling out the food.

After that morning Rindou kept in contact with you, he’d invite you out here and there to eat or back to the club with him. You didn’t want to admit but your found yourself falling for the guy.

The way he’d treat you, look at you, talk to you. You loved the way he made you feel and the way you felt around him. You admired him as a man as well, how he was confident and had a good business going, the way he held himself. It was honestly all you’ve wanted in a guy.

However one day something changed. You were probably overthinking, he said it was work. You wanted to believe him and you wanted to-

You guys weren’t even dating.

No label was put on you both, you were just seeing each other with the side of fucking. You sigh, this was why you took a break from dating. The headaches and anxiety it gave you. The fear of the unknown or what could’ve been.

You never liked it.

You sat on your couch, your tv playing as background noise for your raging thoughts. When you look down, Rindou’s glasses were on the table. You blink at them and move to grab them. You hold them in your hands, smiling at the memory of how cute he looked when he wore them. Then an idea popped into your head.

Why don’t you go visit him at work?

With a newfound mission, you rise with the intent of returning his glasses and seeing him as well.

You walk into the club, the music already blasting and people littered everywhere. You honestly weren’t one for clubbing but your friend had begged you that night. You’d have to thank her later because if she hadn’t begged you to come, you never would’ve met Rindou.

You walked around the place for a bit and weren’t able to find him.

Maybe he wasn’t working today?

You click your teeth, might as well have one drink since you were here.

And so you did.

Just when you’re about to leave, you hear cheering from the corner of the room. Upon looking it was a booth. You peak over a bit and see a glimpse of Rindou. A smile rises to your face and you start walking towards him.

That’s until you see a girl come into view, glued to his side and feeling him up. You watch him and he leans into her smiling, at the woman. You gulp and your stomach churns.

Then they kiss, a kiss was an understatement, they were sucking each other's faces off. You quickly turn away and make your way straight to the bar again.

Without your knowing, someone watched the whole ordeal, with amused eyes and a shake of his head he got up. Leaning towards Rindou, he speaks.

“Someone’s in big trouble.” He says with a grin, walking away.

“What’d you say!” Rindou yells back, his words slurred, the girl next to him whined, pulling him into another kiss.

Your heart was beating unhealthily well and your ears were ringing.

“Hello.” You hear from beside you and you look up.

You’re shocked to see a man that resembles almost exactly Rindou. However, his hair was way shorter and combed, and dyed as well. You don’t reply, turning back to your drink.

“I know who those belong to.” He nods his head at your hand. Rindou’s glasses.

“You do? Well then tell him he can have them back.” You slide them towards him, and the man grins.

“I know of you, Rindou wouldn’t shut up about you.”

Your brow twitches.

“Who are you exactly?” You say with attitude.

“Rindou’s older brother, Ran.” He holds out his hand, and you roll your eyes and shake his hand.

“Why’re you so upset?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Oh, but I do.” He laughs. “I guess I’m just a little confused because Rindou never mentioned dating you.”

“We’re not.”

That’s right.

You weren’t.

So why are you so upset? Why are you even here?

No other words needed to be said or at least you didn’t want to hear anything else so you paid for your tab and left the club.

A little later when the women had finally left Rindou he’s a little more sober, just a little. Ran mentions his little surprise.

“Guess who happened to stop by.” Rindou looks at him bored.

“Who.”

“One of your girls.” He grins, sipping his drink.

“And she wasn’t happy. Oh, she wanted me to return these.” Ran slides his glasses across the table.

Rindou looks at them for a minute, letting his brain proceed with all of the information. Until he’s shooting up.

“Fuck!” He yells, running out of the club.

“Young love.” Ran laughs, raising his glass to no one in particular.

Rindou should not be driving. His head is throbbing and he’s gripping his steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. He ran to many red lights just to get to your apartment. When he reaches it, he doesn’t even park right, he runs up the flight of stairs to the best of his abilities. The alcohol made his heart feel like it was gonna burst off his chest.

When he reaches your door he isn’t knocking but banging. Probably alerting some neighbors. He’s about to knock again but the door flies open revealing you. Your hair is a mess and you’re rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, your face a little puffy.

“Rindou?” You groggily say.

Fuck.

He wanted to kiss you so bad, you were too fucking cute.

You sigh, fully awake but irritated. “It’s too late for this. Go home.” You say, shutting the door but he stops it.

“Please, let me in.” You open the door and he wobbles in.

“You reek of fucking alcohol.” You cringe, moving to grab water.

You pour a glass for the both of you. His heart hasn’t calmed down, it’s ringing through his ears.

“Drink.” You coldly say and his heart cracks at the sound of your voice.

“I’m going back to bed.” You turn around.

“Wait!” He rushes, grabbing your wrist.

“Why are you even here Rindou.”

“Stop calling me that.” He looks down ashamed.

“Isn’t that your name?” You cross your arms and he’s chewing on his lips.

“My brother told me what happened.” He mumbles.

“Exactly. So why are you here.” You blink.

“Because I-”

“We’re not dating Rindou. I don’t care what you do.”

“Just let me talk!” He raises his voice but you stand there with no emotion.

“Say what you need to say then.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

You sigh, growing irritated. “There’s nothing you need to be sorry for.”

“But there is! You know there is. For once just, be vulnerable with me.” He sighs.

“Be vulnerable with you? I haven’t? So what do you think of all the times you’ve come over, and taken me out? That wasn’t me being vulnerable?” You scoff out of amusement and shock.

“If you’re just planning on using me then this is the last time we see each other.”

It’s quiet.

To quiet for Rindou.

Usually, your TV is on because you hate when your house is quiet.

All he wants to do is hold you.

“I’m not a good person.” He begins. “But you make me feel good. I like the way you make me feel. I know I fucked up. I know we’re not dating but you deserve an apology because I—do like you and I want something with you. But I just was drinking and.” He sighs again, rubbing his face.

“How am I supposed to trust you if you’re like this and we’re not even dating.” You whisper.

“Can we talk in the morning? I’m not sober.” He murmurs.

You don’t say anything but let him follow you to your room. You get under the covers and he removes his suit, leaving him in his boxers. Your back is faced towards him. He slides under the covers and immediately pulls you against his chest. You stare emotionless at your wall and then you feel it.

Wet droplets against your shoulder.

He was crying.

You bite your lip but do your best to fall asleep. Letting him sob as he held you as if this was the last time he’d ever get to hold you.

Rindou woke up with a groan, holding his head as he sat up.

“Where the fuck am I?” He whispers to himself, his eyes going around the room.

It’s your room.

Slowly, glimpses of last night come to his mind and he freezes.

“Fuck.” He lets out, throwing your covers over him and walking over to your kitchen.

There you are, cooking, humming to the music you’re playing. A smile rises to his face and you turn, halting your movements.

“Morning.” You mumble. Turning back to the stove. “There’s coffee if you want.”

“You need help?” He picks at his hand.

“No, it’s fine.” He gulps, moving to sit down at the table.

He watched as you finished up, bringing his plate to him. He watches you as you eat, not even picking at his food.

“Stop staring.” You mumble and his head shoots down.

“Sorry.”

This wasn’t like him and even though you know you guys have to talk. You hated how things were right now. Would they even go back to how they were before?

“Do you like me?” Rindou asks, cracking the ice that was building up between the both of you.

You sigh, placing your fork down. “Obviously. I just don’t…trust you.”

“Is there any way you can again?” You look up at him to find he’s already staring at you.

“What do you want from me Rin.” You look tired and he hates himself for doing this to you.

“I want you. I’ll do anything to prove it, we can start over.” He pleads.

“Fucking me isn’t gonna be enough.” You quirk a brow and he shakes his head.

“I don’t care about that, I’ll prove to you that I’m all you need.” He gets up standing next to you.

You gaze up at him and he opens his arms. Slowly but surely, you rise to your feet, wrapping your arms around him.

He’s warm and at that moment that ice crumbled and melted when he held you tightly against him.

It would take time and you know he knows he’s gonna have to bust his ass because that’s what you deserve.

You deserve so much more and he’d do anything he could to prove himself to you.

© yuuuhiii 24 : don’t plagiarize, translate, or post my work on other platforms

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[shoyoist]

𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 — haitani ran.

haitani ran doesn't care for anything. 

he has always been that way. laid back look in eyes, lips set in that impassive slant that somehow passed as a smile. you've known this about him for the lengthy amount of time you've been friends, and you were used to his languid attitude — and you didn't mind it, honestly.

you knew he only really cared when it was something about himself. his hair, his pride, or something to do with his little brother getting into danger.

which is why you're staring at him the way you are. 

watching him rub the darkening bruise at the left of his mouth as he fixes his hair (of course. his ever so precious hair.) after it had come loose, seated on your couch with that nonchalant look in his eyes — like he hadn't just beat the absolute shit out of your ex boyfriend.

thinking back on it, you weren't even sure why you'd called ran and told him about it. 

all you knew was that you'd just barely managed to move on from the way your ex cheated on you and dumped you months ago; and seeing the jerk at your door, hearing him tell you that he regretted everything and wanted you to give him a second chance — it had you fumbling for the phone in an instant.

"ran," you'd muttered, trying to keep your voice from reaching the guy standing more or less patiently behind the door you'd slammed in his face. "ran, he's here. and he says he wants me back. after everything he did—"

ran had cut you off with a simple 'give me five minutes, yeah?' — and then he was there, grabbing your ex by the collar and spitting in his face before throwing him onto the ground.

you'd stood there for a moment, confused, shocked and stunned to see the anger in ran's usually placid eyes. to see the way he used his fists, rather than the weapons he preferred. to hear him cuss your ex out, talking about how you deserved better than a piece of shit, about how if he ever showed his ass at your door again, he'd kill him on the spot.

you'd only snapped out of it when your ex managed to land a punch on ran's face, sending his head twisting to one side, blonde-and-black braids following the movement — and then you were stepping out, screaming at them to stop. 

ran looked up at you, recognized the upset written over your features, and withdrew. not without one last kick, but the fact that he'd immediately, actually stopped was another surprise. "get the fuck away." he'd hissed at your ex.

naturally, your ex had left the scene without further protest, hopefully never to return, but you were still stunned. because for a moment, it looked like haitani ran cared.

"lemme get a glass of water," he'd mumbled, all casual, shouldering past you into your house and making his way into your kitchen.

you followed, poured him his water, watched him drink and wash his mouth with it, and then followed him back into your living room where he now sat, redoing his hair.

deciding that you'd stared enough, he looks up. "what is it, huh?"

"ah," you scramble to find words that would make sense. "i was just wondering. you got here pretty fast."

"i was on my way." he explains dismissively.

"you were?" you ask. he nods, fixing one braid and undoing the other, letting the alternating waves of dyed hair fall across his shoulder, creating soft shadows over the slant of his face, against the watery sunlight coming through your window. "was gonna take you out for some ice cream."

"oh." and then you realize that in fact, he'd been doing that a lot the past weeks, after your break up.

showing up unannounced and asking you if you wanted to go out for some nothing-in-particular, telling you almost teasingly that he'd freed up some time just for you, so you better accept his offer.

you'd been appreciating his gestures as kindness shown to you by a friend — albeit one that was involved in various criminal activities, that you'd decided to look past because you'd known him for long enough to not care — but now, you were starting to wonder if it was something more.

the signs were all there, after all.

"ran, do you—" the words spill from your lips without your intention, and you hesitate, even as he looks up, flicking a strand of his hair out of his eyes that were now glowing with the light pooling in them. "yeah?"

fuck, you think, as his gaze grows sharper, steeling itself against yours.

"i'm just, uh," you really don't know how to say what you wanted to say. "it's just, you ... do you care?"

he raises an eyebrow, giving you a scrutinizing look. "the fuck's that supposed to mean, hm? care about what?"

"about ..." you take a deep breath. "scratch that. do you like me?"

he freezes momentarily, upon hearing your question — only for a fraction of a second — but you're watching him closely enough to catch it. you don't know what else to say, and there's silence in the air between you two for what feels like an age, before he simply finishes braiding his hair and stands up. 

your heart starts to beat faster, wondering if he was about to walk out with no explanation — perhaps you'd hit a nerve, perhaps you'd assumed wrong and thought too much about something that had no meaning. "wait—"

"look, i don't wanna be a rebound or anything." he starts, voice a little stiff, a little cold — and you shut your mouth, allowing him to continue. "i'm not about to get played or made a fool out of. so, so we'll take things slow. i'll wait for you to get over shit at your own pace. you take your time, and tell me if you ever wanna give me a chance."

"g-give you a chance?" your heart picks up pace again, because god, you weren't expecting him to say all of that. it wasn't like him to be so — so this way, and it was rendering you just a bit speechless. "ran, i . . . you, you really—"

he turns to you again, rolling his eyes — but you don't see any real annoyance behind it. "not in the mood to talk about it right now, love. let's just go get some food. and you know it's not gonna be any tacky shit like what ass-face treated you to, so hurry up."

and now, after that thrown out half-confession, the way he called you love sounded softer, less of a joke and more of something else. you felt bad, but you also can't help but feel relief. 

why relief?

because you know how you used to have a crush on him. 

hell, you'd been in love with ran, going as far as to break things off with your friends that tried to convince you that he was no good. 

and because you can't help the way you've been looking forward to his impromptu visits as of late, daydreaming and wondering when he was going to surprise you next, and with what.

you know how you'd seen your ex at your door and only felt fear and anger stir in your gut — and you know how you'd immediately dialled ran, and felt near-tears with consolation when he picked up so quickly, when you heard his voice in your ear.

because you were starting to wonder if your past love for him was slowly coming back.

you still needed some time to move on, and ran knew that. which is why he'd just said, that he's willing to wait. because he has feelings for you?

"but are you sure you're willing to," locking the door, you turn to him and walk after him, out to where he had his motorcycle parked across the street. "you know, willing to wait?"

"whatever." ran shrugged, not looking at you. you quickened your pace, catching up with him and grabbing his sleeve to cross the street together. his gaze was fixed on his motorcycle, but it didn't look like he was focused on the vehicle.

the breeze rustles gentle in your ears as you walk with him to the other side of the road, and the sound fills in any awkwardness that blooms between you two.

the sequence of events that had just played out, hadn't taken even an hour. but as you search your surroundings for any signs of any unwanted presences, you see nothing.

there's only a couple of kids passing by on bicycles, birds coming down to land on the branches of a tree growing some distance away, and pale sunlight sifting down frim between the clouds to pool on the asphalt at your feet.

you feel calm. ran shakes away the grip you've got on your sleeve, but as your hand falls down to rest slack at your side, he grabs it, and gives it a small squeeze — and you feel a tingle of something bright and hot run through your chest. 

swinging his leg over, he leaps onto the motorcycle, slipping the key into the ignition. you get on behind him, grabbing onto his shoulders for support, suddenly feeling warm despite the chilly wind that was starting to pick up. 

"i've waited long enough already, anyway." he added belatedly, sounding ever so laid back, despite the cherry colour tipping his ears. "take your time. nothing to it, waiting some more."

and as your heart warms, you think that perhaps you were wrong. 

perhaps haitani ran does care. for you.

note: interactions, reblogs & feedback are much appreciated!<3

#♡ japan — yot club. #₊˚ପ⊹ REKHA™. #₊˚ପ⊹ IMERA. #ran x reader #ran fluff #haitani ran x reader #haitani ran fluff #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #tr fluff #tr x reader #haitani ran angst #ran angst #tr angst #haitani ran drabbles #ran drabbles #tokyo revengers drabbles #tr drabbles

[zeltqz]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃] FOUR

pairing. ex!ran x fem!reader

word count. 5.5k

series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.

a/n: getting into the real real shit now heh

chapter warnings: smut (again #noshameatall), mentions of violence; bruised eye, busted lip and concussion, more smut...but less detailed near the end, mentions of gangs

The room was still dark when you woke up, the blinds shut tight, banishing any sunlight entering the room. Your eyes fluttered open, blinking slowly as you tried to wake yourself up. Any attempt at moving off the bed was fruitless because of the long arm wrapped around your waist. Your body was engulfed by Ran’s body, his head resting on top of yours. The feeling of his chest rising and falling made it hard for you to remember how amazing being with him felt. 

You shifted around in his hold so you were facing him. Seeing him asleep now made you really stop and focus on his face, relaxed and not stuck in a permanent smirk. You traced your eyes across his face before reaching out to his throat, his tattoo bobbing every time he swallowed. You traced it and wondered what the fuck it meant. The symbol looked familiar, like you’d seen that design before but you weren’t sure where. 

Your fingers trailed downwards to his chest, running the tip of your nail not so subtly across his chest, laughing under your breath when his stomach muscles contracted from the ticklish feeling. The last time you had someone next to you like this was years ago, and how you’ve missed that feeling. 

No Strings Attached, a voice boomed in your head, reminding you not to get used to this type of routine. You looked at his sleeping form once more before rolling out of the huge bed. 

You stretched languidly, trying to crack your back as your fatigue shook itself from your bones. You scooped your clothes from the floor before the red flashing numbers from his bedside clock flashed as the time hit 9am. It took a moment for your brain to register the time before your eyes opened wide as it hit you. 

You were late for work. 

It was bad enough you already spent the whole weekend at Ran’s house, leeching off his food and money, but you knew it wasn’t going to be a permanent thing, you reassured yourself that. You made sure it wouldn’t be. Losing a job wasn’t something you could risk right now.

You walked back over to the bed, one knee on the mattress as you reached over and tapped Ran’s shoulder. He grumbled but didn’t open his eyes and after giving him a couple more taps, he finally opened them enough and turned towards you. 

“I’m sorry I woke you up early,” you apologised quietly, remembering how Ran hated being woken up early (you and him both). “I need you to get that man to drive me again.”

“Mmm, no,” he replied in a sleepy, deep voice.

You huffed, jutting your bottom lip out and tapped him again. Maybe he just didn’t hear you. “I need to get to work and I have no fucking clue how to get there without him.”

Ran fluttered his eyes open and gave you a long lustful look, his hands reaching out to slowly run down your arm. “You can just stay another day here,” he said quietly, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you back down to the bed.

You grinned and allowed him to take hold of you, doing your best to ignore the inner part of your brain telling you to resist and get your ass to work. Your resolve crumbled the moment he hummed against your neck before whispering, “Take off your clothes,” into your ear. 

“But I have to work…and Sh—” you stopped yourself from mentioning Shion in front of Ran. The two have always had issues whenever it came to you, and you learnt your lesson before trying to mention the other’s name. “And I don’t want to be late.”

“Who cares?” His hands ran down your bare stomach. “Just take off your clothes ‘n lemme make you feel good.”

The offer was tempting, especially with how close his hand was to your shorts right now. You turned onto your back and lifted your shirt off, tossing it onto the floor, revealing your breasts. You could feel Ran’s cock twitch in his boxers against your thigh as he watched you lift your knees up and remove your panties. You smirked and turned to face back to Ran, giving him full access to your body. 

“Always so beautiful,” he breathed out, running his hands over your stomach and dipping one finger between your legs. You bit down on your lip and spread your legs wider, giving Ran more space.

You moaned softly as his fingers brushed over your clit, your knees weakening and you had to fight the urge to keep them up.

“Stay still,” he ordered, sliding two fingers inside you and you cried out.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, closing your eyes as you arched your back off the mattress with each swipe of his fingers. You needed release and you needed it fast. “Please…please,” you begged.

Ran moved in front of you then gripped your hips, flipped you over and lifted you with your ass in the air. “Gonna be good for me?” he asked, and using his free hand he spread your pussy lips apart with two fingers, exposing your hole. Cold air from the room hit your bare cunt, making you shiver and groan. 

“Put it in already,” you demanded, leaning back against him. He smacked your ass playfully and you yelped from the sting.

“Someone’s pissy in the morning,” he laughed as he took his cock out from his briefs.

“Ever stop to think that’s because you’re making me late for work—ah—” He slowly entered you, the stretch making you moan into the sheets. 

“Don’t put all the blame on me.” He pressed his hips flushed against yours, pushing his dick deep inside you until your back arched deeper into the mattress. Your hips ached with how hard he was grabbing onto them as he pumped himself in and out of you. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, face dug into the pillow as you enjoyed the sensation of his hardness pressing against you. You screamed out as he plunged deep inside you, your pussy contracting violently around his dick. Ran grabbed onto your hair and pulled your head back so he could watch you rock forward with every heavy thrust. 

Your moans were soft and delicate, like music to his ears. The slope of your back was a sight to behold, glistening with sweat, and the little noises coming from your mouth made his cock throb even harder.

Your breathing was ragged and erratic, body trembling but you took it, pushing your hips backwards and forth in order to feel more.

“Fuck you feel so good,” he whispered, grabbing the meat of your ass and pulling you back onto his cock, pounding you with everything he had. 

You gasped as every inch of his dick slid smoothly into your body, filling you completely. “R—Ran I’m close.”

His fingers dug into your hips, sliding up to your waist to grip it better as you whimpered, the pleasure coursing through your body was too much to handle. You came undone on his cock, spewing profanities into the pillow as his balls tightened, hips stuttering a couple times before his cock twitched inside you, emptying his seed into you. 

“Shit,” you murmured, biting your lip at the squelch sound of Ran pulling out his cock. You collapsed onto the bed as Ran’s arm pulled you over to his side, your back resting against his chest. “I’m fucking beat.”

“Beat enough that you can’t go to work today?” he asked, teasingly. 

You bit back a smile and dug your face into the soft pillow under you. “I hate you,” you muttered before turning around to face him. It was a little challenging with how tight his hold around you was, but he loosened it a significant amount so you could face him. You brushed hair out of his face. “If I get fired today it’s all your fault.”

Ran smiled and you narrowed your eyes. “Ran, don't even think about it.”

“I wasn’t gonna do anything,” he laughed when you scowled even harder. “But if we’re on that topic…”

“No. I’m not quitting my job and no I’m not telling you where I work.” You removed your fingers from his hair. 

“I’ll find out either way baby,” Ran shook his head and laughed. “Beside, that wasn’t what I was gonna say.”

“Then what?”

“What if I got you a new job? A better paying one.”

You bit your lip at the proposition. “What kind of job?”

“One that pays a lot.”

“What. You gonna have me smuggle drugs or something?” you joked. “Is it a porn star? No wait, a stripper. Actually nah, an actress—”

“A waitress,” he said, cutting you off.

“A who?”

“You know,” he said, nudging you with his elbow. “A woman who waits tables for tips.”

“That doesn’t pay a lot!”

Ran smirked and leaned back against the pillow, his hand moving to rest behind his head. “It does when you work under me.”

You snorted and sat upright, looking straight into his eyes. “Under you? Pass.”

“Why not? Worried I’ll keep your stubborn ass in check?” he answered, smiling proudly when you rolled your eyes, frowning. 

“What restaurant?” you asked, scrunching your nose.

“Me and Rindou own it.” At the mention of Rindou, you stiffened slightly, uncomfortable at the thought of seeing him. Ran noticed and rubbed your shoulder. “Don’t worry,” he said reassuringly. “You won’t see him unless I want you to.”

“But he owns the damn place…”

“So do I. Doesn’t mean I show up there all the time. But I will just to see your ass everyday,” He hooked his fingers on your chin and shifted your face back to his direction when you started looking away to hide your smile. “Get some sleep. I have stuff to do today. When you wake up, your driver will be outside for you.”

“My driver, huh?” Your smile was contagious enough that he couldn’t help but grin back at you.

“By the way, how’s Hiro, hm? I haven’t spoken to him in years,” Ran asked.

You grinned, nodding your head with a smile. “He’s good. In university right now studying some computer shit. You know he’s always been obsessed with that stuff. Couldn’t understand that stuff for the life of me.”

Ran chuckled. “Yeah. I miss that little man.” You hummed as you felt sleepy. Ran shifted off the bed whilst you laid back down, grabbing the big sheets and tugging them over your body. “By the way, Ran.” He stopped at the door, ready to enter the bathroom and turned to look at you. “Tell your driver you take back what you said about not talking to me.”

“No can do baby. You’re just gonna have to cope in silence.”

You scoffed. “Dick.” You yawned and snuggled back into the sheets. You listened to the sound of Ran entering the bathroom, the shower running and let your eyes close. 

“Hey. Wake up.”

Groggily, you opened your eyes, feeling your lids struggle to unstick. Rindou tapped your forehead once to get your brain running and it took a couple more seconds for your eyes to fully distinguish the difference between Rindou and Ran for a moment. Once it fully sunk in that it was Rindou, you wiped your eyes and sat up. “Where’s Ran?” you asked, stretching.

“He’s out. Called me to wake you up.” He stood up and put a hand in his pocket. “Well c’mon let's go.”

“Go where?” You were still tired, mindlessly agreeing with whatever he was saying. Your entire body felt stiff and heavy as you slid off the bed, eyes threatening to close again if you didn’t get one more minute of sleep. Rindou didn’t answer your question, just walked out of the room expecting you to follow. Which you did, after you grabbed your phone. He led you outside and you saw the same black car that picked you up and drove you to Ran’s house the other day. Except the driver was different. 

The other one was bald and wore black sunglasses, this new one has medium length blonde hair and green eyes. He looked friendly enough at first that you didn’t seem intimidated unlike the other one at first glance.

“Get in the car.” Rindou ordered you, and you frowned at his tone.

“Not until you tell me where I’m going.”

“Get in the car and find out.” His tone was sharp, sharp enough to make you pout a little. Why was he being so rude? The two of you used to be so close. Sure it took him a while to get used to you, not being used to being friends with his brother’s girlfriends but you were probably Ran’s longest relationship. He realised that four months in that his brother probably had no intention of breaking up with you, hence meaning he’d eventually have to start getting used to you.

At first it was annoying. You were just there, smiling and latching onto his brother like some leech. He was used to Ran’s girlfriends being a short time thing, probably only using him to just flex around that they managed to get with the Haitani Ran, and Rindou was good at detecting girls like that. It’d been a common thing for girls to throw themselves at them both since they were as young as 14, especially with the stories going around about how they managed to defeat a whole biker gang as young as they were with just the two of them.

As time went by though, he realised keeping you at an arm's distance wasn’t doing anything to benefit him, so he decided to talk to you one day. Then a friendship blossomed from there. 

Seeing Rindou right now going back to being his distant self only succeeded in making your heart ache. Not wanting to start an argument, you obeyed, sliding into the back seat of the car and Rindou slammed the door shut before rubbing his temples, like interacting with you was enough to give him a headache. 

The guy started driving and you shifted uncomfortably for the next five minutes. You cursed the leather car seats for making so much noise, only increasing the silence in the atmosphere. 

The leather made a noise that sounded specifically like a fart and you swear your heart stopped. You slowly looked up in the rear view mirror to see if he noticed and you almost melted into a puddle when you saw him looking directly at you. 

“It wasn’t…that—it was the chair.”

There were a couple more seconds of silence before he burst out into laughter, his laugh contagious enough to make you crack a small smile too. “I swear it wasn’t me!”

“Sure…” he says with another smile on his face. 

“Why are you saying it like that?” 

“Like what?” He briefly took his eyes off you to look back at the road. 

“Like you don’t believe me.” He stayed silent again, dragging it out for dramatic effect. “Wow…” you murmur, “I see how it is.”

He burst out laughing again. “I’m just playing with you. I believe you don’t worry. You’d never count the amount of times I accidentally ‘tooted’ in front of Mr.Haitani when I’m driving him.”

You let out a laugh too at that. “Which one are you talking about?”

“Hm? Whaddya mean?”

“Which brother? Ran or Rindou?”

“Oh. You’re on a first name basis with them?” He looked back at you and you nodded. “That’s cool. Oh and it’s Rindou I work under.”

“Huh. Makes sense now.”

“What does?”

“That you work under Rindou. Ran’s driver never speaks to me.” He let out a soft chuckle at that then you but fell into a comfortable silence. You broke the silence after asking, “what’s your name?”

“Tamura. You?”

You tell him your name and he nods, focusing back on the road. “So how did you work for Rindou?”

“It’s a long ass story man.”

“I got time.”

Tamura smiles and slows down the car, driving at a slower pace. “Well I racked up some huge debt. Like a fuck load of debt so Rindou came up to me and was all like “you owe me this much, pay up or I’ll kill you”, so obviously I was freaked out and I didn’t wanna die, so I said I’ll do whatever the heck he wants. So now he just bosses me around and makes me do shit for him like driving him around and picking up some shit for him. I don’t get paid for it either but at least I’m not dead.” He finished his story and you just gaped at him. 

“…Are you being serious right now?”

“Oh yeah. 100%.” Tamura looked back at your face that was full of concern and worry. “Relax.”

“I'm trying but…wow. That’s um a lot.”

“Told ya it was a long story.” 

The car began to turn into familiar territory, your brother's house was on that street. But something seemed off. Once you pulled up to your brother's house, your heart sank to your stomach when you saw the door had been broken into, the glass windows shattered. 

“Stop the car.” The car slowed to a stop and  Tamura looked at you confused as you slipped out of the car.

You almost tripped over the sidewalk with how quick you were running. The door had shoe marks, probably with how violent it had been kicked into and you felt something curling in your stomach with each step you took. You decided to check the living room first. 

No sign of Hiro. Then you went upstairs and heard the sound of a tap running. Instinctively, you walked towards the bathroom and saw Hiro hunched over the sink trying to wash his face. 

“Hiro?”

He stiffened when he heard your voice. He didn’t turn around, only continued to wash his face. He heard your footsteps slowly approach him and he flinched away from your touch when you tried to tap him on the shoulder. 

“What the hell happened?” 

“Nothing.” He said curtly, shifting past you to grab a towel and wipe his face. The entire time he made sure not to show you his face and you were getting worried. 

“Hiro.” You reached out for his shoulder to turn him around. 

“Don’t fucking touch me.” When he pushed your hand off, you got a flash of his bruised eye. 

“Hiro what the hell!” You forcefully turned him around and saw his face, one eye bruised and threatening to close as he struggled to keep it open. The back of his head was bleeding but it was hard to see under the mop of his head. You grabbed onto his face and examined his busted lip. “Who did this to you?”

Just as soon as he was about to respond, he saw white and you watched as his knees gave out, struggling to keep himself up and collapsed onto the floor. You rushed to grab your phone and called an ambulance. 

Hiro woke up in hospital around five hours later, his head pounding. His eyes fluttered open and he realised where he was. The sounds of beeping machines only made his heart churn more. He looked to his left and saw a gift basket from Shion. The note said ‘Get well soon’ and Hiro scoffed before opening it. Inside there was a tape recorder hidden underneath all the fruit and gifts in the basket, and another note that said hit record taped onto the recorder.

Doing as he was told, Hiro pressed the record button and hid the recorder back into the basket just in time as you finished talking to the nurse outside to come back inside the room.

The second you saw he was awake, you stopped nervously biting your lip and rushed over to his bed.“Hiro! Are you okay?”

“What happened?” Hiro groaned when his head throbbed violently again, raising his hand to scratch the back of his head. 

“Apparently you got a concussion and passed out.”

“Oh.”

“Are you gonna tell me what happened? Who beat you up?” He stayed silent and you pressed on. “Hiro. I’ll go file a police report if you know their names. My friend's fiancé is a police officer. I can help you if you talk to me.”

Hiro swallowed and looked nervously at his hands. Your heart started to ache. You’d never seen him look so scared before. “…Hiro…”

“It’s bigger than that. I can’t go to the police about this, he started and you dragged a chair to sit down. You grabbed onto his hand and he let out a shaky breath before continuing. “Two years ago I got involved with some bad people. In college I made some friends in the wrong crowd because I was tired of people taking advantage of me. So I thought if I hung out with a more…outspoken group of people, people would finally stop looking at me like I’m kind of joke.”

“You’re not a joke Hiro,” you cut him off and he gave you a faint smile, his lip still bruised so he winced at the slight sting. 

He took your words in and nodded, still not believing them but continued talking. “So these guys I befriended. They were gambling addicts and we’d go to different casinos and just scam the fuck outta people. I won’t lie, it was pretty fun at first until I slowly became addicted. Everything was cool and I was winning a fuck ton. But one day I fucked up and lost everything.”  You watched as he clenched his fists on his lap. “They fucking cheated.”

“Cheated how?”

“No clue. I don’t know but they rigged the game in their favour. I lost everything. All that money I was gonna use to pay off my student debt, you know? Then a couple weeks later I found a letter in the mail. Basically them telling me I have to pay it all back or they’ll kill me. I hate this so much,” his voice started to tear up a little and you felt your heart ache. Seeing your little brother cry wasn’t something you were used to. When he was younger and you consoled him it was totally different to seeing him as a grown adult now. 

He wiped a couple of his tears and you waited patiently for him to calm down. “They’d been sending me messages in the mail for the last few months but I guess they just got tired and beat me up I guess.”

You were on the verge of tears also. “Hiro. Who’s doing this to you? I’ll stop them.”

“I can’t say…”

“Yes you can. Tell me. Please Hiro.”

He took a moment and looked you in the eyes for what seemed like the first time today and your lip was quivering as you worried for your brother's life. Right now, he was all you had and you couldn’t afford to lose him. “Please Hiro,” you begged one last time before he broke eye contact, looking back down.

“It’s called Bonten. And…Ran’s involved in it.”

You paused and blinked at him for a moment. “...sorry?”

“Ran’s involved in Bonten. I don’t know what he does but that’s it. He’s up there. The tattoo on his neck proves it.”

You stood up and shook your head slowly, not believing what he was saying. “Why do you know he has a tattoo on his neck? Have you spoken to him?” you asked cautiously and Hiro froze up before changing the subject.

“They all have that tattoo (Name)! It’s like some fucking cult or something.”

“But…” you tried to make sense of his words but you couldn’t. You inched away from the bed slowly and rubbed your temples. “Wait. Who did you say sent you those mails?”

“I just told you. Bonten.”

“No, like was it Ran? Did he know about this? Did he get people to beat you up?” you urged on, trying to find answers.

Hiro only shrugged. “I don’t know and frankly I don’t care. I hate them all.”

“No. Ran wouldn’t—no. He practically loves you Hiro! You don’t remember the time he let you stay over at his house? And he threatened your bullies for you? He did all that for you! Why would he just get people to almost kill you now! I spoke to him this morning! He didn’t—he wouldn’t— no.”

Hiro looked guilty at your words, fighting back a couple tears himself, but continued. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.” He tried to grab your hand but you had inched too far back from the bed. “Come here please.”

You slowly walked back towards the bed and let him take your hand in his. “Please just promise me you’ll stay away from him? I don’t know where you’ve been all weekend but I’m pretty sure it was with him, right?”

You didn’t respond.

“I knew it.” He sighed softly, his grip on your hands tightening a little. “Please stay away from him, (Name). The next person in this hospital bed could be you.”

You couldn’t give Hiro a response to that. “I…I need a second to think. I’ll be right back.” You grabbed your bag and walked out of the door, closing it behind you. The second you were out of the door, you grabbed your phone and called Ran. He answered after a few rings but you barely gave him a chance to talk. “Is it true?” you asked, voice on the verge of tears. “You’re not actually a businessman, are you?”

“What are you talking about?”

You looked around hesitantly and whispered, “Bonten,” into the phone. There was a momentary pause and the tears just fell from your eyes. “Oh god. It’s true.”

Ran said your name sternly. “Why are you bringing this up—” You hung up the phone and slumped down against the chairs, frantically wiping your tears. Your crying was interrupted by Ran calling your phone again. You sniffed and declined the call, blocking and deleting his number from your phone.

You’ll make sure to get your number changed later. Mind made up, you walked back into the room and saw Hiro fiddling with his gift basket before quickly removing his hands, returning them back to his side before you noticed. 

“I’ll do it.”

“Huh?” he asked as you approached his bed again. 

“I’ll stay away from them. I promise.”

Hiro let out a soft smile and opened his arms for a hug and you immediately accepted, holding him gently to not hurt him and kissed the top of his head. 

When you let go, Hiro handed you the gift basket. “Can you drop this off at Shion’s?”

“What? Why? Isn’t it for you?” You held the handle and picked up the note. “It says for Hiro.”

Hiro let out a soft laugh. “He knows I don’t like candy and stuff like that.”

You nodded and gave him another wave, promising to visit him tomorrow as you took a taxi to Shion’s house with the gift basket next to you. By the time you knocked on his door, he opened it and you were about to greet him until you burst into tears.

“Hey hey hey, wait hold on. What’s going on?” Shion cupped your face and looked at you, concerned.

You hiccuped and whimpered, wiping your tears with the back of your sleeve. "It's about Hiro. You know, right?" You lifted up the gift basket and handed it to him. "He said thank you for the basket but he doesn't like candy and stuff." You mumbled, wiping your tears.

"Forget that basket," Shion put it aside. "Why're you crying? C'mon. You know you can talk to me."

"I don't know who to trust anymore," you sobbed into his shoulder. "My brother almost died tonight and...and then I find out he might be tied to some criminal organisation and..." You rambled on and Shion wrapped his arm around you tightly.

"Don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen to him. We'll figure this out, alright? Let's not focus on things that we can't change."

He guided you inside the apartment and sat you down on the couch, rubbing your back soothingly. His heart skipped a beat when you grabbed his hand and hugged it tight to yourself, curling up on the couch and pressing your face against his leg. "Don't ever leave me," you murmured. "Please I can't lose anyone else."

Shion closed his eyes for a moment, processing what you had just said. He could never lose you. Not when you were always there for him. "Never,” he promised, letting his voice trail off as he sat beside you and pressed a kiss on your forehead.

Once his lips left your forehead, you sat upright and looked him in the eyes. Without thinking, you inched forward until your lips were an inch away from his. A small smile appeared on his face and his gaze lowered to yours as you pressed your lips together. For a split second, Shion hesitated, but soon leaned in, pressing his own soft lips against yours, his warm breath washing over you.

His hands slowly traced your cheekbones and neck before finally settling at the nape of your neck. He gently pulled you closer, you parted your lips slightly, meeting his lips and moved in to deepen the kiss.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds before you pulled away slowly. His hand slowly unzipped your jacket whilst your hands began to travel down his chest, pausing at his belt buckle.

"I'll take care of you, I promise," Shion cupped your face, knocking your forehead with yours, his eyes locked on yours.

"Okay," you breathed softly. Your eyes never left his as you slowly leaned in to kiss him once more. Shion opened his mouth slightly and pulled you in deeper, pulling you onto the couch and wrapping his arms around you.

Shion carried you to his bedroom, laid you down on the sheets and removed his shirt before crawling on top of you. Once he was settled, he pushed himself inside you. Slowly but surely, he sank inside you and both of you moaned softly. He thrust harder and faster until he was completely inside you.

He didn’t say anything as he pulled you close and bit your earlobe, nibbling and sucking on it. You let out a moan, pleasure coursing through your body, your hips rising to meet his every movement. He gripped your wrists above your head, pulling them towards him and kissing you hard while slowly moving in and out of you.

He cursed and pulled out after releasing on your stomach. You lay panting on the bed and watched him turn around to lie beside you, his breathing heavy and his hair messily falling over his forehead. His lips curled into a slight smile and his hands slid down your side to rest on your hip.

"Did you finish?" Shion asked.

You shook your head. "Not yet." You saw his face fall and quickly sat up. "It's fine! It takes me a while to finish so don't worry. Sometimes I can't even make myself finish," you lied, cupping his face and planted a kiss on his cheek. "I feel sticky though. Where's your shower?"

He pointed you to the direction of his bathroom and waited until you slipped out of the room before grabbing the gift basket from the living room, digging through the gifts until he found the tape recorder. He brought his phone out and texted Dona.

I got the recording.

She responded two minutes later.

cool. same time 2night?

Shion looked in the direction of the bathroom, the sound of the water running coming from within. He quickly typed out, yeah, tucked his phone back into his pocket and walked over to the bathroom. You jumped when you heard the door open, but calmed down when you realised it was just Shion.

He stepped inside the shower with you and embraced you from behind. He ran his hands down your back, massaging the tension away, and kissed the back of your neck, causing you to shiver a little.

"So..." Shion trailed off, leaving you in a state of confusion as he pressed kisses on your wet body. "I have to meet a friend tonight. I'll be back late. Are you okay being alone tonight?"

"Yeah I'm fine," you replied, his arms around you making you feel safe. You wanted to tell him that honestly you were scared, now knowing the gravity of the situation with your brother and your ex and how Hiro is basically a target, meaning you're also at risk. But you also didn't want Shion to worry about you, and so you told him that you'd be fine, not wanting to cause any trouble for him.

"Good. Stay here. I'll come home and make sure everything's fine. If you're hungry, you can order food or cook something. Call me if you need help."

"Alright. See you later."

He gave you one last peck on the lips before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower.

AND NO THIS ISNT A SHION X READER SO DONT WORRY ABT THAT LFMASO

anyway shit goes down now lolozlzozl. lemme know ur theories bc i find them so entertaining

TAGLIST: @escafhwiluv @lyniana @haitanifxn @rindougf03 @mvteria @hisan-na @luvhaitani @mishueb @Dreamxies @yuma404 @sleeplessreader @shinichirolover @illusorysmut @Lxvephxbic @obsessedwreiner @ililailii @insayninthamembrayn @missgab @reihimbo @l0velikethis @lollevi @danasaan @tenjikusstuff4 @midoriapologist @alkanessa @asp7n @thebrownemo @levstar777 @sanaukii @yumidepain @jesjesboo @pink-sugar-rush @ssailorvenuss @mizukikyong @suckonlimes @xngelsau @wrldstarrr @lonnie19 @yanfei-kisser @wrldstarrr @hayeoyeon @christmassugarcookies @minimari415 @hxonieverse @rinshoe @taihjj @ezri261 @mkc-ana @secretanimesimp @https-sonshine @nil-eena @weebausarus @secretxchive @getosmybeloved @kakuchosbff @atarathegreat @erenwifey @nyanglock @illumiismyforeverhusband @tsumudrip @notdyl4n @haruchiiiyo @strawberryshorcakee3

masterlist

#—tr </3 #series : wasted times #ran x reader #haitani ran x reader #ran haitani x reader #haitani ran smut #tokrev x reader #tokyorev x reader #ran smut #ran angst #tr angst #tr x reader #tr smut #ran haitani smut

[drak3n]

THE BEST FRIEND

ꨄ. SYNOPSIS: perhaps you shouldn’t have waited so long.

ꨄ. CONTENT WARNINGS: unrequited love, mostly angst, hurt & some sort of comfort? best friends trope, one mention of murder at the beginning, a little bit of baji x reader

bold italic quotes = letter excerpts

PROLOGUE. | SERIES MASTERLIST.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

“it’s impossible for anyone not to love you. has anyone ever told you that?”

there were times in which even a district like shibuya — always vibrant and full of life — was eerily quiet and void of people.

people you’d want to be around with, at least. people who made you feel safe roaming the streets at this hour. right now, you didn’t feel all too comfortable walking past streets with alleyways looking awfully sketchy.

every tiny sound made you walk faster than before, it be a cat scratching at a trashcan, a breeze howling against buildings, or leaves crunching under your shoes. you just wanted to get this over with and head back home into your trusted four walls.

you grunted as your ran face-first into someone you hadn’t seen, which you wanted to blame your terrible night vision for.

the figure didn’t move and you tried to stay calm. you uttered an apology and tried to rush past them, careful not to draw too much attention.

maybe they were just minding their own business. they didn’t have to be a murderer or anything.

“you shouldn’t be out here by yourself at this time,” the person suddenly called out. you halted. “someone got murdered right over there two days ago.”

the shiver that ran down your spine at the husky words was inevitable, your eyes darting over to where he pointed to show you the place was just a couple feet away from where you were standing. it didn’t help that the boy said it with so little emotion.

“thanks for telling me… i just really need to drop by at the nearest local duty pharmacy,” you responded. under the halfway functioning street light, you recognized a very tall boy, perhaps around your age, so 15 or 16 years of age.

the dragon tattoo on the side of his head drew your attention. it didn’t necessarily elicit bad thoughts, it just looked very unique.

“i’ll accompany you.” his offer took you by surprise; it wasn’t like you had been used to others being nice to you before. when he continued walking towards your destination, you quickly joined him, barely able to catch up with his long strides.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

“how could a person be a best friend, mentor, older brother and father all at the same time? you made the impossible possible.”

hanging out with the boys was exhausting, to say the least. there wasn’t anyone you particularly disliked, but they could be a lot. you didn’t really mind that they were all part of a gang, all that mattered to you was that none of them had ever made a move to hurt you or others.

“i’m saying, that’s not how you solve that question!”

rolling your eyes at the first division commander discussing with you, you threw your arms in the air. you were currently all lounging off in the warehouse, with you having joined them after they had finished a meeting.

draken always insisted on you never, ever joining a meeting of the tokyo manji gang. he would never want you to get involved with their business.

“baji, are you seriously telling me i’m in the wrong?” you shoved your purple flip phone out of the pocket of your school uniform skirt, unlocking it to click onto the calculator function. “you must be stupid if you think that three times 24 is 72–”

the whole warehouse went quiet after that. blood rushed to your face, your entire head and ears feeling steaming hot as the brunette started laughing at you. the others were too immersed in their own thoughts to listen.

“who’s the stupid one now?” bending down to your height, baji flashed you his cocky smirk, revealing sharp canines. your eyes stung with tears of humiliation.

before he could tease you a little more, because you were so easy to tease, a hand shoved the boy with long hair back to create a distance between you and him. it was him.

“baji, that’s enough.” draken’s firm voice made said boy shrug and back off. “it’s just a dumb mathematical equation.”

when you sniffled and crossed your arms in front of your chest, turning away deliberately to hide your embarrassed self from the others, a palm settled on the top of your head.

looking up, you saw draken grinning down at you ever so gently.

“don’t worry about it, everyone makes mistakes.”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

“i failed to tell you. i thought my actions would be enough to prove what i felt. perhaps you knew all along, but decided not to talk about it. you were always thoughtful and considerate. but i wasn’t special.”

it was a gloomy day for you today. you were excited to see draken, putting in a lot of effort while getting ready and wearing one of your best outfits, just to see that he hadn’t joined the otherd at the usual group hangout today.

“wasn’t it emma’s birthday today?” mitsuya recalled. mikey wasn’t there either. unbeknownst to you, baji’s eyes wandered to look at how you’d react.

as someone who wore her heart on her sleeve, you were terrible at masking how you felt. he didn’t miss the way your face fell.

draken and emma were always close to each other. of course they were, as her brother and draken have been inseparable since middle school. you couldn’t compare to her. you’d just met him not even two years ago.

you were slowly realizing that despite him doing a lot for you and always being there for you, you perhaps didn’t mean as much to him as emma did.

after all, draken was nice to everyone.

“someone’s grumpy,” baji commented slyly, and this time, you didn’t have it in you to bicker with him. this time, there was no draken to tell him to stop either.

the two missing blondes joined you hours later, with mikey nudging his taller vice’s side teasingly while talking about how sly kenny was for having found that plushie emma had wanted for the longest time.

it made your mood even more sour than it already was, and you pondered about an excuse to leave, wanting nothing more than to curl up in bed and forget about it.

forget about your stupid feelings for someone whose heart was already taken, and who saw you as nothing more than a friend.

“hey (f/n), that’s a pretty outfit,” mikey commented, “you going somewhere?” draken glanced down at you curiously while you forced a tight-lipped smile on your face. you inwardly thanked the leader of toman for saving you like this.

“yeah. i’ll see you guys.”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

“would things have been different if i’d just confessed to you while i still had the time? it would have been selfish. she was the first to know and love you, after all.”

ken and mikey had dropped out of high school at 17. they had big plans of opening a workshop for cars and motorcycles. by the time you graduated high school, they already had their small, cozy shop. toman was no more, and everything was well.

objectively speaking, it was. but subjectively? you weren’t too sure about that.

by the time you entered the italian restaurant, the table that caught your eyes was already pretty crowded. it wasn’t a surprise anymore, you were always late, after all.

too late. those two words echoed in your head as you looked at emma and draken sitting next to each other, her blushing feverishly when he removed something from her hair.

that could have been you.

“let’s go.” hearing baji’s voice behind you surprised you, and even more did it to feel his hand on your back, guiding you towards the table. as much as he was a jerk, you didn’t believe he did it out of ill intent to humiliate you.

the hours went by, and you had all eaten to your hearts’ content, now exchanging light jokes and future aspirations to one another. emma mentioned wanting to be a housewife, and the ken getting married to her made you want to throw up everything you’d eaten today.

“how about you?” mitsuya asked you, who had talked the least tonight. “any plans for college?” you smiled awkwardly when you felt draken’s eyes on you.

he had always wanted you to go all the way with your education, having supported you whenever he could. you were more than thankful for that.

“i actually got an admission for law in osaka.” the blonde sitting right across from you smiled so brightly, and you were sure it would have made you melt if emma didn’t have her head on his shoulder.

it was almost childish how you had tried to interpret every single of draken’s actions as a possible chance for something to develop between you two. your chances were long gone.

you had never stood one to begin with.

“i knew you could do it! you were always a smart girl.”

his compliment made you feel worse than it should have.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

“you told me to go and pursue my dreams. i knew that if you had told me to stay, i would have. how idiotic of me, right? i ended up leaving and letting you slip from my grasp without you ever having been in it.”

after moving away for college, you hardly visited tokyo anymore. and to be quite honest, you preferred that. it was good to stay away from the source of what had drained you for so long.

draken hadn’t taken advantage of your feelings for him, no. he was the last person on earth who’d be willing to do that. but that didn’t mean it hurt any less to be trapped in a web of unrequited love.

you were in your fourth year of law school when an invitation laid in your mailbox. you just knew from the second you looked at the envelope without even opening it. it was exactly what you’d anticipated it to be.

a marriage invitation, for you to join ken ryuguji and emma sano for the most important day of their lives. you stood in front of the mailbox, staring at the piece of pretty paper for at least twenty minutes, as if it was ever going to change.

he was going to get married. not to you.

all of your dreams of walking down the aisle in a pretty, white dress, approaching him with his sweet smile, crushed to bits and pieces.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

“i have never wished you anything else but happiness, and i still do. she makes you happy, and that’s all i could have ever asked for. i saw it in your eyes that day. you never looked at me like that.”

the wedding reception was nothing short of beautiful. catered to everyone’s tastes, it left nothing to the imagination.

the wedding of your dreams had always looked like this.

it was bittersweet how another woman was going to live that dream to the fullest, with the man of your dreams, at that.

thankfully, you weren’t left alone with your thoughts while you waited for the couple to come to the rented hall after they would get lawfully wedded. mitsuya and his sisters kept you company, making sure to recommend you everything they had tried at the enormous buffet.

“pretty sure they’re coming now,” mitsuya informed you as he stared at his wristwatch. you gulped and looked into your glass of soda.

oh what you wouldn’t have given to be in her shoes, taking on his last name… waking up next to him every single day, having his children.

you felt absolutely and utterly horrible. like all those years you’d spent away from this had caught up to you, leaving you to drown in your unrequited feelings.

before you could excuse yourself to the bathroom and ruin your perfectly done makeup by indulging in a five-minute breakdown, you were stopped by a hand finding your shoulder. it felt as if life was sucker-punching you in the gut once again.

“hey, baji.” your voice was low, and you didn’t notice mitsuya leading his sisters away from the table. his formerly wild, brown hair was much shorter now, tied up in a ponytail, and he wore a dark gray tuxedo.

when he opened his mouth, you shook your head. “i can’t take any teasing today. i mean it.”

your words weren’t even harsh, you just sounded exhausted. his grin disappeared, soon replaced by a frown. “i’m aware,” baji stated, “i couldn’t have attended if i was you.”

with a raised brow, you stared at him to explain what he meant. “i’ve known since back then.” you looked down, pursing your lips to stop them from trembling and giving it all away. you were asking to change the topic until the two would enter through the door and make your mood plummet entirely.

baji knew you better than you could have guessed. so this time, instead of poking fun at you, he actually tried to make you feel better

“by the way, i’m moving to osaka for med school for the next semester. i finally got in.”

it still stung when you saw draken and emma entering the hall hand-in-hand. you couldn’t compare that sting to any other kind of physical pain you’d endured in your life, it felt worse than broken limbs or a cut that needed to be stitched.

but he was happy, the way you never saw him be. he had never smiled as purely as he did when he danced with his wife, kissing the back of her hand that now adorned a ring to bind them to each other forever.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

“i’m sending this letter even after it all. even though i know i’m too late. don’t get me wrong, i have deliberately not added your new address. you will never get this letter. this is just for myself, to liberate what i’d held onto for multiple years.”

you picked up the call after one shrill ring, holding your phone against your ear while your eyes were plastered on the tv. it was your episode today, dealing with your letter.

the show was muted so you could hear exactly what you’d hear on the phone. with a deep breath, you spoke first. “hello?”

“good evening, miss! we are very excited to be hosting you on today’s show for TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE!” on the screen, you saw the main host move her mouth with a smile plastered on her perfect face.

you sat down on your couch, taking another deep breath. “thank you for having me,” you responded, “i can already guess what you are going to ask me.”

you heard sweet laughter from the two hosts while you were busy picking at a dried scab on your thumb. this was making you more nervous than you’d wished it to.

“if that’s the case, then we would love to hear your thoughts,” spoke the co-host, “our audience is very excited to learn about your motives and what exactly has made you not put an address for the letter to be shipped to!”

the camera angle was switched to show multiple rows of people of all ages sitting and awaiting your response. it made your throat go dry.

“i have made this decision because,” you looked away from the screen, “they have found someone else. and they are very happy.”

the hosts showed faces of surprise. for a second, you wondered why you’d even done this to begin with. but it felt too relieving to speak about this for a bunch of strangers to listen. it felt too relieving to hang up now when you were so close to just letting things go.

“which was why i just wanted to send this letter to… get rid of it. to be able to live on and stop holding onto those feelings that are never going to be reciprocated.” you had no idea if the words you were saying made any sense to them, but to you, they did. they made perfect sense to you, and they described exactly how you felt.

“that is very mature, and we admire you for having collected the courage to take this step.” the host clapped her hands, obviously looking moved. “love isn’t all about having happy endings together, right? sometimes, it means to let go. for their, and for our own happiness.”

hanging up not long after, you sank back in your couch and chuckled to yourself. this wasn’t so bad. in fact, you haven’t felt as good as you did right now in a while.

when the door to your apartment unlocked, you watched a mop of brown hair appear in your peripheral. the smile on your face only went brighter.

“i’m home. did i miss it?”

“just did. let’s rewatch it together, kei.”

“i wouldn’t have it any other way, because it was thanks to you that i found my own happiness, too.”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

#tr x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #draken x reader x baji #baji x reader #draken x reader #ken ryuguji x reader #ken ryuguji #ken ryuguji x y/n #tokyo revengers angst #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers x reader angst #draken angst #baji x you #baji x y/n #draken x you #draken x y/n #tr x you #tr x y/n #tr angst #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers fanfiction

[mchlgayser]

─── WHY DID IT HAPPENED? ft hanma shuji ✸

synopsis: You should've thought twice about the worst possible outcome when you give up yourself to him. But you didn't and at last, you lose your grounding.

warning: languages, toxic relationships, break-ups, and cheating.

daily note: oh no, im struck by the lord of angst gasp no wonder im doing such heavy angst at two in the morning, crying myself, and liking the way i hurt myself 😄

He came home late, again.

It's been the third time this week and the tenth time this month. Lately, it's so hard to even take a glance at your husband as he always woke up early and came home late. Usually around three to four. Of course, you would always leave a text for him to wake you up once he's home so that you can eat the dinner you made together. But then again, it'll always end up in the bin.

This time you are persistent in not falling asleep and waiting for him and when he did come home, he sent a smile your way before treading upstairs.

'Shuji?' You watch as he enters your shared walk-in closet, slipping off both his shoe and his sock and dumping them on the basket.

'Shu.' You called out trying to gain his attention. He undo his tie and sighs, finally taking a look at you 'Yes, Y/n.' Oh, well that's strange, he never addressed you that way before? Always come up with a cheesy nickname like dolly or dollface. What happened?

'No, I just wanted to talk to you...' You said playing with the hem of your shirt, he unbutton his shirt and his glasses 'Can't it wait until tomorrow? I'm tired and hot.' You continue staring at him when he walks past you to the bathroom and locks the door.

You settle down on your mattress waiting for him to come out and once he did, he slip under the duvet and closes the light 'Come on, Shu. We need to talk. Why are you always coming home late, these days?' He ignore your short ranting and pretended like he's asleep.

You got up and turn on the light 'We. Need to talk.' He aggressively peel off the duvet off of him and sat up toward you 'What?! What is it that there's a need to talk about, huh? I said I'm tired!' You shake your head at him 'Tired of what? Me or your job?! Can I just talk for a little while with my husband when he's been late for almost a month?! I just need a small talk with you... I... Miss you...' Your gazes fall to the ground in shame.

You hear him sigh and footsteps approaching 'Sorry, It's just... I got so many things to do at work. You know how cold-blooded Kisaki is.' The mention of your long-last friend brings a smile to yourself 'Yeah. I'm sorry.' He pets your head 'No problem.' And then he heads for bed.

You blink in surprise.

That's it? No problem and that's it?

The arguments between you and Hanma occurred, still, after making ups and it's always about the same thing. He came home late and now, sometimes he didn't even reach home at all. You'll always spend the night crying, missing your husband but like he always said. He is busy. A month turned into three but a solution never came falling and help your helpless ass. You are alone. Miserable and alone.

The possible thoughts came running like a madman, what if he cheated on you? What if he already found another better one? What if this and what if that? You've become crazy with the thoughts clouding your mind. You overthink yourself to sleep if you ever had any. You lose counts of how many times you threw up and almost lose consciousness because you got panicky. You took medicines that you probably did not need. But even with all that, you are still alone with no one to help you stand.

You are sleeping - closing your eyes to help you doze off when the doorbell rang repeatedly. You try to get up but fall hopelessly to the ground and groan.

You get up once more and get to the door without uncertainty. Before you are a brunette, a younger woman than you dressing in a tight, cleavage-showing silk red dress, decorating herself with a big pearls necklace, earrings, and a Louis Vuitton branded bag. She is smiling, twinkling her doe paired of eyes at you 'Can I come in?' She asks you.

You are hesitant but nodded nonetheless. She sat down on the couch 'Oh I'm sorry, I'm just gonna stay here until Hanma is home.' You blink to yourself, surprised and puzzled. 'Pardon me, but who are you?'

'I'm his girlfriend, Ivy. I supposed you are his maid? What's your name?' Your hand subconsciously shaking and clenching but then could you blame her? You wore nothing expressive as she did, you rarely dolled up unless it was for a special occasion. And maybe it was your fault too for being too anti-social and never really following your husband anywhere for his work. Not surprised no one could know you are his wife. I mean, would anyone even suspect it? Hanma, a flirtatious, ambitious guy like him settling down for such mediocrity as you?

'It's Y/n.' You told her to keep waiting and that you'll call Hanma in instead because you are scared he'll be back late again today.

'Y/n? Why did you call? I'm in the meeting, can't talk.'

'Ivy's here. She's waiting for you.' You heard his rapid breathing before you ended the call. You went back to his little girlfriend 'He'll be back, shortly.' And then you tread upstairs locking down the bedroom door with your hand over your mouth. Your ugly sobs turn to muffle as you cry and sob to yourself. An aching sensation is burning through your whole body but partially your throat and heart. Your eyes felt itchy and uncomfortable, your nose clogged, and your voice barely a whisper.

You don't want to be here any longer so you get your phone - that is the only thing you ever bought with your own money and left, not forgetting to slip the expensive diamond ring off of your finger. You heard a honk from outside of the residence to see that a car was parked.

You see Ivy sitting still on the couch with a glass of wine and she smiles when she saw you were leaving 'See you again, Y/n.' You nod and rush inside the car.

But just in time, a familiar black Audi A4 comes into view, you avoid his frantic knocks on the door and just ordered the driver to move along. Hanma tries to grab onto the car but slips. 'Fuck!'

'Shu!' Upon hearing his nickname being called he swiftly turns around but instead of you, there's Ivy. The girl he commits adultery with. She struts towards him and lends him a small hug with a cute shrieking noise 'I missed you! London was good but not better without you... But thanks for the trip Shu-'He shove her away with eyes widening in anger 'What the fuck are you doing here?!' She jolted in surprise at the sudden outburst 'What you mean what am I doing here? Shuji, you've promised me we'll get married one day so is it wrong for me to come to my future husband's house? Or is there a a fucking secret that I needed to know? Are you lying to me or something?!' He was hesitant looking back in forth between her and the road.

'I... I'm sorry...' He went for a hug and kiss the side of her temple making her smile 'You are making me scared. I thought you were cheating on me with your maid or something...' She laugh as he broke the hug with a furrowed brow 'Maid...?' She nods pulling him inside the house 'Yeah, Y/n is her name right? But then again, why would you? I'm much better...!' He was clenching his fist at her words but do nothing.

Ivy left home after some time and Hanma left for your shared bedroom. He gazes at your stuff but all seem to be left untouched. He struts inside your closet room to see your wardrobe full and neatly tuck like always making him smile. Yes, you didn't leave, probably just out for groceries.

Then he see the wedding ring, the wedding ring you wore all the time, and never once did he see left your form. His head tilted in confusion, why is that there? Why didn't you wear it? Did you perhaps lose it? Oh, it's okay, he can just slip it back on. He picks the ring off the ground and kisses it with a smile 'When will my doll get home?' He murmurs to himself.

Hanma get ready for bed and sleep wishing he'll see you in the morning or maybe the familiar smell of your homemade pancake will wake him up like always.

But none of it happened. Hanma waited days, weeks, and months but you never came back. Why? Ivy would come once a week to check but as always she'll get stood up by the porch and left home, defeated. It's not like she's not calling but the said man never answered none of her calls. Every day he'll play her calls to hear her voice 'Hi, this is Y/n. Talk to me once you heard the.... Beep...'

He'll talk to her hoping one day he can get to hear it once more maybe that time clearer, and nearer.

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[8aji]

too busy saving everybody else to save yourself. // s.s.

to think of a life without him filled you up with such sorrow you thought you'd let yourself drown just to be with him one last time. — or, an account of the events that transpired after the night of august 14, 2003.

pairing. shinichiro sano x baji!reader

wc. 18k

tags/cw. MDNI, angst with happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort, best friends to lovers, baji!reader (reader is baji’s sibling), manga spoilers, shinichiro lives, anxiety/panic attacks, smoking, mentions of death, characters cry a lot, mentions of head trauma + hospitals + needles + blood, reader gets called 'nee-chan' a couple of times but other than that its pretty gn, very suggestive (one make/out sesh), takeomi is clowned a lot + please let me know if i missed anything!

a/n. its finally done sob i spent so much time polishing this as much as i could and what was supposed to be a 1k drabble mutated into this lmfao but all in all this fic is my baby, my child, and i love it so so much i just hope y'all will like it as much as i do !! a massive thanks to @tetsutits for betaing and to @mosviqu for letting me run the storyline through her !! hope all of u enjoy lots n lots !!

m.list ˖ tags ˖ byi/dni

One step, one blink, one breath, one step, one blink, one breath; like on autopilot, the pattern repeated itself over and over again. You could feel it beating inside your skull; the pounding of your heart resonated throughout your body, acting as the fuel behind your every move. 

Your blurry gaze amplified all of your other senses, sending your brain into a downward spiral of emotional overwhelm; the loud keyboard clicking, the obnoxious chatter, the drinking and munching of coffee and donuts, all of it made you want to tear your ears off. How could the world keep turning, people existing like normal, while you were being consumed by the tightness enveloping your lungs? The thought made you want to light up the whole building, watch it burn as the flames simmered the concrete to ashes to relieve the turmoil brewing inside your body. 

“I'm coming for Baji Keisuke?” You asked, barely managing to string the words together in a coherent sentence, head going a thousand miles per hour. “He’s my brother.”

The officer behind the desk pulled down his magazine, looking you over and taking in your dishevelled state. “Ah,” he sighed as soon as your brother's profile appeared on his screen. “Baji Keisuke, the little rascal with the breaking and entering charges, huh?”

lips forming into a thin line, you nodded, biting your tongue so as to not insult the man in front of you who, for some reason, couldn't help but chuckle, as if a twelve year-old kid being detained was funny. 

“Can I see him?”

He gave you one last obnoxious glance, before typing on his computer.

“He’s currently under police custody,” he explained condescendingly as if you didn’t know, pulling a manila folder and pressing the button on the printer, handing you a pen in the meantime. “He's only got a minor charge compared to the other brat he came in here with,” He let out a quiet cackle, not wanting to attract anyone else’s attention. To you, it was like he acted this nonchalant to rile you up, make your blood boil. And, in spite of your reluctance to admit to it, it was working. Being in his presence made you want to punch him. “We’re betting on whether the other kid’s gonna get charged with manslaughter or not.

“And just between us,” he made a come hither motion, but leaned forward on his chair at your lack of reaction. “I’m betting in favor of manslaughter, so I'm crossing my fingers for the guy to die soon, ‘ya know?”

Had you been wearing long sleeves, he would’ve been able to see you rolling them up, emotionally prepared to be charged with aggravated assault against a police officer

Fortunately, another officer called out your name, catching your attention before you could act on the violent scenarios coursing through your brain. You didn’t bother excusing yourself before leaving to find your brother.

He looked small, smaller than he actually was, as he sat on the floor with both his knees close to his chest. His eyes were puffy and red, it was obvious he had been crying; though by the looks of it, he had yet to stop.

The cell door sounded like nails against a chalkboard as it scraped against the floor. It made him flinch in surprise, snapping him out of the borderline-dissociating trance as he looked up at the intimidating officer, trying to gauge his intentions while gathering all the energy he had left in his body to fight off the man just in case he needed to. But as soon as he made eye contact with you he could feel himself lowering his guard. 

He didn’t even hesitate, his body moved on his own, running past the officer and straight into your arms, letting the harsh sobs he had tried bottling up rack his body, along with muffled apologies and incoherent explanations.

“It's okay,” you mumbled against his hair, trying to calm down his heart wrenching cries. He nuzzled his face against your neck, trying to get impossibly closer to the sound of your voice. You waited for him to nod, still clutching at your clothes with all the remaining energy he had. “He's strong, he’ll be alright.”

Though at this point you were unsure whether your words held any weight against the grand scheme of things; hopefully all your promises won’t turn into bold-faced lies.

You made your way out of the cell together, holding his left hand as he used the other to rub at his eyes, itchy and dry from all the crying. The two of you walked past a couple of cells before he stopped for what seemed like a millisecond, mumbling something under his breath in weak anguish. Had you not been hyper aware of everything going on around you, you wouldn’t have noticed the slight tug at your hand.

Kazutora sat on the floor the same way Keisuke did, knees pulled up to his chest, biting his cuticles raw to stop his brain from looping the traumatic set of events like a broken film; still, it wasn't enough to stop his whole body from trembling in shock. The distress fresh in his eyes made you want to drop everything just to hold him close, comfort him like you did with Keisuke. 

But you didn’t have much time, the officer behind you pressured the both of you to move, and considering Keisuke remained under police custody, you weren’t willing to risk him getting locked up again now that you had him by your side.

“Wait for me over there, okay?” You said, pointing at the waiting area. “I just have to fill out some paperwork and then we can go home.” He held your hand even tighter in his grasp in response, as if he was scared to let go. “I’ll be quick, promise.”

Reluctantly, he dragged his feet as he walked, not wanting to stray far away from you. At least there was still some sort of stubbornness left in him. You’ve never seen him act like this, uncontrollably crying and apologising, devoid of the mischievous glint in his eyes. Knowing the Keisuke you knew was still there comforted you.

“How, uh, how much is bail gonna be?” You asked once he had made himself at home on the plastic chairs. Thankfully it was someone else behind the desk instead of the asshole you had the misery of interacting with. 

You knew it wasn’t going to be cheap, already having a grasp of fines and bail costs thanks to your friends getting into trouble, but even with this knowledge, their response sent a shiver down your spine.

Maybe you could use some of your own savings, or part of your college fund. Using your mom’s money was also an option, but you didn't want to put the burden on her. If you skipped a semester it could give you some time to earn the money back, but you were already behind in a few classes, and the minimum wage from part time jobs wouldn’t stack up too much, so was it truly feasible?

Fuck, you knew they were children but you couldn’t help but curse at their recklessness, their stupidity and naivety. Did they actually think stealing a bike would be that easy? And now you have to pay for the consequences, quite literally. Of course, you could always leave him here, let him face the consequences straight on. There was nothing forcing you to bail him out. But who were you kidding, you’d kill for him, of course you were going to pay.

Making sure he was still where you left him, you looked over your shoulder back at him. He was slumped over his knees, aimlessly playing with his fingers as his eyes fixated on the corridor leading to the cells, a solemn sadness washing over his features. 

No. 

You weren’t going to. You were going to pay for your brother’s sins, or whatever the cheesy line says, and leave to never look back. You didn’t owe this other kid anything, most certainly when you couldn't afford it. But, after knowing him for so long, the thought of him staying in the middle of four cold walls until further notice broke your heart.

“Actually,” you sighed. This was gonna cost two semesters instead of one. “Could I pay for someone else’s bail as well?”

At first, he refused to acknowledge your presence, biting harder into his fingers. He tried self-soothing through slow back and forth rocking motions and the unintelligible words that spilled from his mouth, hugging himself tighter the closer you got. 

He didn’t move, frozen in place as if the lack of movement would make him invincible to the naked eye. He didn’t cave in no matter what you did, not when you kneeled in front of him nor when you whispered his name in hopes he would acknowledge your voice.

It only took a couple of seconds after that for him to shyly meet your gaze, warming up to you in an instant and clinging onto you just like Keisuke had done, though he did so with a lot more desperation, this sort of comfort foreign to Kazutora. He felt so small in your embrace, burying his face in your shoulder, the only thing he could do was claw at your body for reassurance. Other than that, he didn’t speak, didn’t cry, he almost didn’t move, to the point it had you questioning whether he was actually breathing. 

Once you coaxed him out of the cell and got a hold of your brother, your sole focus was on guiding the boys beside you out of the precinct as fast as possible, one hand holding Keisuke’s while the other rested on the back of Kazutora’s head. They didn’t need to spend more time than necessary in this place, surrounded by grimy cell blocks and seemingly socially inept officers who couldn’t keep their rambunctious laughter down.

Wakasa was sitting on his bike outside the police station waiting for the three of you, and though initially it was supposed to be just the two of you riding along with him, he wasn’t surprised you paid for your brother’s friend’s bail. He kept a fairly laid-back exterior, lit cigarette hanging from his fingers replacing his preferred strawberry flavored lollipops, inhaling back the smoke that seeped from his parted lips and freaking out on the inside.

The two of you were hanging out when multiple calls blasted through your phone, prompting you to rush to where you were now. First it was one from the hospital, one of the bearers of bad news that didn’t let you dwell on the fact that Shinichiro had written you down as one of his emergency contacts. Then came the call from the police station, sinking your heart down to the bottomless pit in your stomach.

“Everything alright?” He asked, putting out his cigarette, smothering the stick with his boot along with the other three he had finished while you were inside. 

You hummed in response, words dying in your throat. The silence around you itched and burned, made your skin prickle with discomfort, and even so, no one dared say anything besides the occasional noise of acknowledgement. They weren’t dumb. They were one-hundred percent aware of what they were doing, and this wasn’t something you could blame on their age either. Yes, they were kids, but a twelve year old should be able to discern right from wrong; aware that stealing is bad and that murdering people is wrong.

And deep down, you knew this was even more fucked up than it appeared to be. You knew Kazutora wouldn’t have cared for the victim had it not been Shinichiro. The only reason he was shaking like a leaf, flinching when Wakasa fastened the belt of his helmet against his head, was because he hurt Mikey’s brother. That’s not to say Keisuke was innocent, it was clear he wasn’t. Intentionally breaking into someone’s shop to steal a very valuable, very expensive, piece of equipment and potentially complicit in someone's murder. 

You wanted to tear your eyes off at the thought. Did they really think they could get away with this? That it would be as easy as stealing some candy or gum from the corner store? You wanted to curse them out for being so stupid, so naive. But looking down at their sunken faces, eyes bloodshot and teary as they sweated fear from every pore on their fragile skin, it made you want to excuse all their horrid behaviour, ignore the fact they committed a crime and in the process they mortally wounded an innocent man. 

You held down an involuntary gag at the violation of your principals, the memory of what had just gone down stirring unwanted bitterness inside your stomach. You were no one to criticise the two kids sitting between Wakasa and you. They could be stupid, but you were the weakest of them all.

“Let’s get going then.”

You could question your moral compass later, first you had to get them home.

The voices of the characters talking in the background faded into an uncomfortable white noise as your muscles dissolved along with your bones, breaking through your skin and seeping into the cushions of the couch. Each time you breathed in the more stressed you became at the uncertainty of your friend’s mortal status. 

You hadn’t received any news from the hospital, and though you knew that if they hadn’t called by now, they probably wouldn’t at least until tomorrow morning, that didn’t stop you from imprisoning your phone close to your chest. Maybe if you channelled all your strength into your hold then you’d lose the urge to cry.

In spite of their initial resistance, it didn’t take long to put the kids to bed. The two of them drifted off to a bitter, yet hopefully replenishing, sleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow. It wasn’t surprising, the whole incident had drained the both of them to their core.

“‘Sure you’re okay?” Wakasa asked, and had it not been for his voice you're sure you would’ve dissociated the rest of the night. Maybe the kids would find you the next morning still sitting on the couch, frozen like a statue as you stared at the ceiling, and freak out because they’d think you had died along with ‘Shinichiro-nii’. 

You hummed, it was the only response you could muster it seemed, with your eyes zeroing in on his shoulders, then his cheeks and then his earrings. Looking straight into his eyes would do you no good. It’d blow your cover in less than an instant, and though it’s fair to say it was a shit cover, amplifying your grief through your dejected silence instead of toning it down, it made you feel safer from the imminent doom. Still, shitty cover up or not, Wakasa knew you weren’t okay. You wouldn’t be able to fool him even if he was stupid, and at this point, he’s convinced you wouldn’t be able to fool anyone; a single glance your way was enough to tell you were silently crumbling. 

He let his head fall backwards against the back of the sofa, sighing in acknowledgement. No matter how many times he asked, deep down he knew you would only cave in at your own account, But at least his question somehow managed to bring you back down from the maze your brain had started fabricating to earth. And maybe, just maybe, if he gave you enough space that’d prompt you to speak. He didn’t mind waiting. Not for a couple of seconds, or the couple of minutes those seconds turned into, or the couple of hours they mutated into next, and so on until days and weeks and years had passed, until the scarcity of time felt infinite.

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” You broke the silence, biting the edges of your words as if you wanted to hide them back inside, voice shaky and heavy against your tongue. 

He hesitated, sharing a seat next to you inside the same sinking uncertainty boat, “Shin-chan’s stronger than you think.” He tried reassuring you, or himself he wasn't sure, but at this point the more he tried to tell himself his friend was still breathing, the more it felt like a lie. Shin-chan was stronger than the two of you thought, but was he really? “He’d be heartbroken to know you had little faith in him.”

At least he got you to chuckle, “I’d be heartbroken to know that I was right.”

You fell into an uncomfortable silence not long after, the stakes of the conversation too high, and if you continued talking you’re sure you’d end up giving Shin up for dead. But like this, maybe you could finally force yourself to get some sleep. The weight of your eyelids had doubled, eyes growing heavier against your will, and though you didn’t want to, just in case something happened while you were unconscious, you knew you’d be of no use without at least a few hours of rest. Plus, you promised yourself you’d never lose any sleep over a guy, ever, and you weren’t about to make an exception for Shinichiro Sano.

Not even an hour in your slumber, you almost threw your phone to the other side of the room as its desperate cry pierced your ears. You’re sure Wakasa almost had a heart attack with how fast straightened up next to you, and it wouldn’t be a surprise if it somehow managed to wake up both Kazutora and Keisuke, although your brother was more of a chronic heavy sleeper.

“What are you waiting for? Answer it!” Feelings heightened in his barely awake, panicked state, the desperation was palpable in his words. And though uncommon for him to act in such an erratic manner, he had bottled everything up the whole night, it was time for the stoic facade to break. 

But, even so, in spite of your friend’s heartbreaking desperation you didn’t move. Not after the third ring or the fourth. You didn’t dare move, staying frozen on the couch, groggy from waking up yet hyper-aware of everything going on around you despite your mild dissociation. The sole thought of moving towards made your brain press against your skull, screaming at you to stop. 

Not answering meant that Shinichiro could stay both simultaneously alive and dead, his fate linked to whether you picked up the call. If you didn’t, maybe he wouldn’t die after all, he’d stay stuck in the unknown limbo of immortality until you made a call. 

But then again, this was your only chance to get an update on his status. And it wasn’t only you anxiously waiting on any sort of news. Wakasa was waiting; Keisuke and Kazutora, although asleep, were as well, and you could only fathom Benkei and Takeomi’s reaction. Mikey and Emma were probably up to date, the hospital must’ve called their grandfather before they reached out to you. And looking back at the people that depended on you, it really wasn't fair to put your own self-indulgent selfishness over the needs of others, was it?

It wasn't. Of course it wasn’t, but after putting everyone before you for as long as you’ve lived, didn’t you deserve to be selfish? At least once, when it pertainted the condition of the unrequited love of your life, didn’t you deserve at least that much?

“Hello?” Wakasa answered through furrowed brows and twitching lips. From the way he spoke, you could tell he was biting on the inside of his cheek to release some tension, putting enough pressure to draw blood. “This is Wakasa Imaushi speaking,

“–can’t get to the phone right now, can’t you just talk to me?” Voice getting progressively louder, he challenged the person on the other side of the call. “He’s my best friend, don’t I deserve to know whether he’s alive or not?!”

Only when his voice broke at the weight of his own desperation did you manage to snap out of your trance, snatching the phone out of his grip, ignoring his glassy eyes as you spoke into the receiver, mumbling your name through a shakily put together voice.

You’re not sure whether you imagined it or not, almost choking on a withered sob, but you could feel the moment your teeth sunk into the skin of your hand, digging hard enough for blood to prickle to the surface, preventing any other noise from coming out. 

With your vision blurry and a tightness in your chest you could not describe, your body had gone completely numb, and yet your nerve endings were scorching under any semblance of atmospheric pressure, forcing you to feel everything, everywhere, all at once.

Had Wakasa not been there to catch you, you’d have collapsed on the ground, a pitiful wailing mess. Tears soaked through the fabric of both your clothes as you held each other close. For what felt like hours, the two of you stayed like that. Face buried against his neck and his against the top of your head, he rocked you back and forth in his arms until your tears stopped mixing themselves with your spit, sharp inhales tuning down into soft sniffles. And though his eyes burned with unshed sorrow, he kept on humming at your unintelligible mumbling.

“See? I told you he was stronger than we thought.” He whispered, though it sounded closer to a whimper, and nuzzled his cheek further against your hair. As if trying to ground himself, he gave you a tight squeeze, still in doubt whether he was trying to convince you or himself. 

Only after a while, once both of your breathing had evened out, did you raise your head up from its hideout, hesitant footsteps catching your attention.

“Nee-chan?” You heard a tiny voice coming from the hallway, a little insecure, as if he didn’t think he deserved a proper response. 

“I’m sorry ‘Tora, did we wake you?” You peeled Wakasa’s arms from your body, rubbing the haziness of your eyes away. He shook his head in response, carefully moving away from the shadows after acknowledging your lack of anger.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

His puffy eyes shimmered red under the soft moonlight coming through the living room window. He took meticulous steps in your direction, side-eyeing Wakasa and still wary of you, not knowing how you would react after his intrusion. Each one was lighter than the other, the wooden floors refused to creek underneath his weight, almost as if he had trained himself to become weightlessly invisible.

Slowly as to not startle him, you stretched your arms in his direction, beckoning him towards you and silently encouraging him to trust you. Even after drying out his tears once you tucked him in bed, holding his hand a little longer while Keisuke slept next to him, you’re sure that wasn’t enough to reassure him you wouldn’t blow up on him. For Kazutora, interacting with most people felt like trying to navigate an active minefield.

Hugging him close to your body, you pulled him on your lap and softly rocked him back and forth; the same way Wakasa had done with you. He nuzzled closer to you, letting himself relax against your touch once he registered you weren't a threat, basking in your warmth. 

The silence the three of you fell under was deafening, uncomfortable even, though you didn't intend for it to be. Kazutora had this question stuck in his throat, sitting heavy against his vocal cords while the bitter taste of bile stained his tongue.

“Is…” he trailed off, still doubting whether he deserved to be asking such a question. “Is Mikey’s brother going to be okay?”

He tensed up at the lack of immediate response. The lack of positive reassurance that he hadn’t completely messed up everyone's lives made the grip he had on your arm grow tighter in fear of you letting go. 

You didn’t. You weren’t planning to do so. Even if nausea piled up at the end of your oesophagus as the conflicting set of emotions brewing at the pit of your stomach, you were sure he needed you as much as you needed him to keep yourself grounded 

“He will.” You brushed your fingers through his hair, lips curled up into a smile once you felt him relax against you once again. “Right now he’s resting, we can visit him in a couple of days, if you’d like.” 

The silence amongst you became heavy once again, but inside Kazutora’s head the cacophony of your words bounced against the thick layers of bone and skin like worthless cries of distress. What he did was inconceivable, and in spite of that you still cared.

“I didn’t mean to,” barely a whisper, the words died out before they could be properly enunciated. They prickled and ached and stung at the walls of his throat. Something he couldn’t name but feel deeply inside his bones stopped himself from vomiting it all out. But mess after mess, like building blocks stacking one on top of the other, they piled up and pulled him down like a ball and chain made out of his own flesh and when he tried to pull at it to set himself free he could feel everything spilling out in a tangled cry. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, I’m sorry!” he cried, clutching onto your shirt and arms, anything he could get a hold of to ensure you wouldn’t leave him alone. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Holding him tightly and shushing his cries, you could do nothing more than let his tears wet at your shirt, mumble that it was okay even if it truly wasn’t; even if the two of you knew it was a lie. The weeping child in your arms did nothing but pull at your heartstring, conflicting feelings arising in your chest. In spite of the fondness you felt for the kid, the same fondness you felt for all of your little brother’s friends, you had unconsciously developed a grudge towards him, bitterness and resentment for hurting Shinichiro. 

His lashes rested against his skin, casting thin shadows under the sunlight streaming through the window. He had always looked peaceful when he was sleeping, chest rising and falling as if following a metronome’s tempo. You can remember taking long summer naps next to him and the rest of your friends, you always being the first one to wake up. Every summer the three of them arrived late to at least five Black Dragon’s meetings because they had slept in. Shinichiro had developed this antsy habit of arriving weirdly on time yet slightly late ever since then, he couldn’t tolerate the idea of letting down whoever was waiting for him; you wonder how he’d react if he knew the shop wouldn’t open today.

So peaceful yet fragile., never in your life would’ve you remotely imagined you’d be sitting next to your best friend’s hospital bed, eyes puffy and droopy while his head laid covered in bandages. The beeping of the monitor filling up the unnecessary silence that wouldn’t have otherwise been there had he been awake. 

Had he been awake, he would’ve talked to you non-stop, retelling everything that went down to the most insignificant detail, sprinkling hyperboles as much as he could just to appear a little cooler in front of you. But it's not like he had to try anyway, to appear cooler, that is, you already thought he was the coolest person in the whole wide world; though you’d go as far as saying he was the coolest person to ever exist. The sole idea made you smile, tears welling up in your eyes as you wondered if he’d blush once he found out how highly you thought of him. 

And of course, had he been awake, he would’ve been worried about everyone but him. He would’ve asked about Mikey and Emma, if they had slept over at the hospital or at home with his grandfather, who he would’ve proceeded to ask about. He would’ve bitten his tongue to prevent himself from even mentioning the economic implications of his stay, but you would’ve been able to read right through him.

Then, had he been awake, he would’ve asked about Keisuke and Kazutora. He would’ve be worried about them, berated you with a flurry of questions, emotions switching from anger to guilt in less than a millisecond; angry at your deplorable encounter with the police, guilty because he was the one that called, and maybe if he hadn’t, then Mikey’s friends wouldn't have gotten in trouble.

He would’ve asked about the shop, if anyone was there watching over it while he was resting in the hospital, deflating a little after finding out it wouldn’t open for the day. He would’ve asked about Wakasa and Benkei and Takeomi, ask if they were aware of what happened, if they had already started making fun of him after finding out a twelve year-old sent him straight to the ER; he would’ve sighed at your response, shaking his head because instead of making fun of him his friends were worried. 

Finally, he’d ask about you. And maybe you would’ve cried or laughed or screamed. Maybe tears would’ve pooled in your eyes, the fact your friend was breathing finally sinking in. Maybe you would’ve giggled at your past unjustified worries because he was here now and you never should’ve doubted him, not even for a second. Maybe you would’ve broken down, fatigue deep in your bones pulling you to the ground until you could do nothing but lay cold and empty and happy on the floor because you had not dared sleep but at least the existence of his consciousness remained.

But the only one speaking was the wind blowing through the curtains, kissing his forehead and messing up his hair just to give you the opportunity to put it back in place through the insecure brush of your fingers

Resting your forehead next to the palm of his hand, you sighed in defeat; maybe you should’ve let him rest alone. You had spent the whole morning next to him, ignoring any hunger cues alerting you it was time for breakfast or lunch or any sort of meal time that could fuel your body from complete exhaustion. Still, even if you wanted to fall asleep, it was like your subconscious wouldn’t let you. Every time you closed your eyes and felt yourself slip into a deep slumber, you were jolted awake to your own dismay. 

Not being able to rest had started to eat away at your own sanity. Only eight hours had passed, but every second felt like a thousand and at this point, you had become a walking contradiction; hungry but unable to eat, tired yet unable to fall asleep. Your body was failing you, unable to react to any sort of external or internal stimuli, and you’re sure wouldn't be able to cry no matter how much you wanted to do so.

But even then, apparently you could still scream.

The weight of his hand on top of your head caught you off guard. It almost made you fall from the chair and smack your head against the bed’s metal skeleton. Maybe if you got a concussion and slipped into a weird pseudo-coma after a harrowing God-knows-how-many-hours-long surgery he’d feel guilty enough to make up for the tachycardia that had your heart beating where your brain should be.

“Hi.” He smiled, words a little slurred as the remaining anaesthesia wore off.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Oh, I see ‘you missed me alright.”

And you did. Even though less than a day had passed since the accident, picturing a whole lifetime without him was enough to permanently alter your brain chemistry. But he was here now, he was back and he was safe and the toothy grin he sported reminded you of home.

“Don’t ‘cha know it’s rude to eat in front of someone who can only chew on ice chips?” He joked, flinching as the nurse adjusted his IV drip.

You were forced to leave the room after a flurry of hospital staff came running at your volatile reaction; Of course, you were quick to reassure that your friend had only woken up and that everything was fine, before leaving for the cafeteria; giving them some space to work on Shinichiro would be good. Plus, not that he was ‘okay’ and you weren’t worrying about his health every second of every minute of every hour, you could address the sudden pangs of hunger poking at your stomach. 

“I’ll buy you dinner once you get out.” You smiled, scooping some of the jell-o into your mouth through your innocent smile. But, again to your dismay, the mischievous glint in your eyes ratted you out. Shinichiro knew that ‘dinner’ meant the cheapest ramen you could find, maybe add an egg to spice it up, and ice cream you’d eat directly from the tub; a long lived tradition between the two of you. “I’ll even add chives this time.”

“Gee thanks,” he mocked, as if he’d rather do anything else than eat stale ramen with you. As long as he got the chance, he’d do anything. He’d probably lick the floor for you—not that he’d ever let you know, but if you asked he would, no questions asked. That’s what happens when you love someone. You’d be willing to do anything and everything for them even if it's irrational. “Can I choose the ice cream flavour at least?”

You hummed, focusing on scraping the plastic spoon against the plastic container in your hands to avoid his gaze. “Only this time though, so don’t get used to it.”

“Everything’s looking good so far, we’ll do another check up in a couple of hours.” 

Right, you were still in here. Talking like everything was seemingly normal made you forget that you were still in the hospital, watching over your post-op, bedridden friend. 

“Lay with me?” he asked, not before the both of you thanked the nurse who excused himself after gathering the remaining equipment. “Please?”

You shouldn’t, something inside your head made sure to let you know even if the urge to hold him close was overpowering. He had just barely woken up after a long emergency surgery, and you taking up space would be of no help for him to get the rest he needed. But the silent plea in the puppy dog eyes you had trained yourself so hard to resist, the subtle pout and the cute dopey-ness that had yet to wear off were far too tempting to resist. 

His little celebratory cheer made you inwardly squeal as you slowly moved to his side, watching him wince in pain while he slowly shuffled himself closer to the edge in a clumsy attempt to make some space for you.

The thumping of his heartbeat reverberated in his chest, the stress melting from out your bones. You couldn’t help but sigh in content once you laid your head on his chest. Now that you were wrapped in each other’s arms, it felt like you could finally rest.

“Tired?” He mumbled against your hair, breaking the silence that had settled in the room as you basked in each other’s presence. You hummed in response, nuzzling your cheek against his body and almost purring like a cat at his warmth. Letting your eyes close involuntarily, you couldn’t help but be lulled to a premature slumber. With how comfortable you looked, and because your obnoxious yawning was too contagious, he wanted to do nothing but follow in your footsteps. 

Instead, his eyes stayed wide open and stuck to the ceiling as if the off off-white paint that covered the concrete was the key to shutting down his brain long enough for sleep to take over. It didn’t matter that his blood had been infused with what felt like at least twenty hundred thousand milligrams of various pain-deafening substances that were sure to knock him out in a matter of seconds, falling asleep seemed to be an unattainable goal.

Whatever they had injected into his body increased his senses’ sensitivity, multiplying it times a hundred instead of dulling them down to nothing. And it didn’t stop at the uncomfortable overtly bright fluorescent lights or the suddenly deafening sound of unoiled wheels from hospital carts being rolled around. It was the way he could feel you barely resting your weight against his body, as if scared the least amount of pressure would make his heart stop. The way he was met with your now dull eyes, almost bloodshot but not quite, sunken with a thick coat of desperation, or fear, or some sort of premature grief, as soon as he woke up. Or how, in spite of only being gone for less than a day, it seemed like you had spent a lifetime unable to exist alongside everything you held dear.

Hyper aware of all those little details and more, it hit him without warning, and suddenly, he could feel the overwhelming urge to cry.

It prickled uncomfortably at his eyes, the skin around his charcoal orbs itching like it was on fire. His mouth felt cottony, smothering his airways and cutting his airflow while his tongue rested uncharacteristically heavy in his mouth with the weight of unsaid words. It broke all his bones at once, leaving him numb on the ground, still like a corpse, and unable to suppress the dooming feeling of his own life spilling from his pores, mixing with his blood until the air around him turned thick and metallic.

In the blink of an eye he had been one step closer to the grave, barely hanging onto a thread of consciousness as the view of his shop turned blurrier and blurrier, and now he was breathing. His lungs had finally regained consciousness and he could feel everything around him overwhelmingly loud and clear and close and real. 

Now awake, he could feel you laying on top of him, almost passed out due to the immeasurable amount of stress he had put you under. And maybe if it wasn’t for his reckless habit of parading around life with his guard lowered or for the lack of proper security measures at the shop—because who on earth would rob him? There’s no way he could be that unlucky. Impossible. Or maybe it was his inability to dodge, to hold his stance in a fight because even if he was strong, without proper technique he was rendered useless and, holy shit– he could’ve died.

He could’ve died and then Manjiro would’ve been forced to grow up way too soon because he would have to take care of Emma and grandpa—although knowing both his siblings, Emma was more likely to turn into the head of the house. And then his friends would’ve been left to grieve his death, make sad speeches about the best moments they had together and, fuck was Takeomi terrible at writing; his speech would just be a big mess of incoherent words stuck together. And what about the shop? Who was he leaving the shop to? And what about Inupi? Inupi was just a kid and he can’t just leave him all alone; he had promised to himself to take care of him the same way he took care of his siblings— fuck, Izana as well. Who was going to look after his brother? He was planning to introduce him to all of you guys soon. The two of you would’ve gotten along so well and,

And you. 

What about you?

You looked beyond heartbroken. Words couldn't begin to describe exactly what somberness mulled deep within that brain of yours. If this is how you reacted to the possibility of him dying, then how would’ve you reacted to him actually doing so?

A choked sob rips through his lips, the sound painful as it breaches its forceful containment.

“Shin–”

“I’m sorry.”

“What…” you trailed off. The strained cry had erased any speck of slumber. For a second you thought you had dreamt it, that your brain had finally gone off the rails and you were hearing imaginary voices. That was until you looked up at him, eyes welling up with unshed tears, body stiff as if to prevent them from falling. “What’re you sorry for?”

“I just remembered the beach trip we were planning for Manjiro’s birthday,” he sniffled, “and I think we’re gonna have to cancel.”

“That’s okay, we can reschedule—”

“Yeah but I– I know he was really excited for it, all his friends were.”

“We’ll talk to them, make sure they understand—”

“And you were excited about it too,” avoiding your eyes even after you had tried to coax him into meeting yours. He felt so far away, almost unreachable despite laying right next to you. “And I know how much you love the beach and I really wanted to go with you even if we were gonna have to chaperone six hyperactive children,

“And, and I know the guys were gonna come with and we had it all perfectly planned out with this huge dorayaki cake thing and now we’re gonna have to cancel because of me—”

“Wait,” you shush him as gently as possible, sitting up and holding his hand tightly between yours. “What do you mean ‘because of me’?”

Almost as if he had never started, your question managed to shut down his rambling like forcefully closing a water faucet. He had this estranged, far-off look darkening his face, eyes glassy, almost as if he were dissociating. It made your stomach churn with anxiety. Never in your many, many, years of friendship had you seen him lose himself like this.

“Because,” he paused, trying to swallow down the knot grappling at his throat, fighting off the urge to tear it off with his bare hands. “Because it's my fault we’re cancelling.”

“I– What’re you talking about?”

He groaned in desperation. Why was this so hard to explain? 

“I’m the one who’s bedridden.” Still dizzy after waking up and to the best of his ability, he tried sitting up, wincing in pain to then give up and lean into his forearms. “I’m the one with random needles poking through my skin, fresh off the ER because my skull was bashed into with one of my own tools and maybe, just maybe, if I had been more aware at the time, I could've avoided the hit.”

“Shin, this wasn’t your fault—”

“But it is! Can't you see?” 

“Shin–”

“D’you know what I did when I heard someone break the glass?” He looked at you expectantly, voice raised in frustration. “After I called the cops; do you?” You shook your head in response, knowing that any attempt to help him calm down would be futile. “I grabbed a wrench. 

“After the operator told me to hide and wait for help because I told them it sounded like more than one person was inside, I grabbed a stupid wrench and decided to face them,

“I decided to face them even if I'm well aware I wouldn’t be able to take two people at once.”

And though he seemed to be dead set on believing that somehow he managed to land himself in the hospital,  you wouldn’t allow him to give himself up to the restless thoughts, no matter how badly he wanted to indulge the bitter part of his brain that had gotten used to putting himself down. 

“Someone hit you from behind,” you tried, “you were ambushed, of course you wouldn't be able to take them on.”

His defeated sigh gave you some sort of uncomfortable comfort. Knowing it made you glad that he had finally given up was a conflicting feeling you wish to never re-examine or experience again.

You sat up, swallowing the foreign relief down, and scooted further up the bed’s backrest. Your elbow rested well above the pillow where he laid, and you couldn't help but use your leverage to gently brush your fingers through his hair, only relaxing once he visibly melted against your touch.

“You didn’t do this to yourself, this wasn’t your fault.” You whispered, fingertips soothing his worries as they ghosted the skin of his forehead. “You’re not responsible for every single thing that goes wrong, no matter how much you try to convince yourself you are.”

He can’t recall a single moment in his life in which he felt like he was relieved from his self-imposed duty—the duty of an older brother, primary caretaker, and practically a parent. Someone who must put everyone’s needs above his own well-being. He’s responsible for everything going on around him, the good, the bad, the neutral, the everything. It only made sense that the break in and the subsequent series of events were, in part, his responsibility. 

And he knew it was irrational thinking because how on earth would he have known what was going to happen? But he couldn’t help it, not when all the consequences of his actions reflected on the bigger picture; everyone relies on Shinichiro Sano, and it was his duty to fulfil. 

“And I promise you no one is disappointed in you. Not a single one of us.” You press your lips against the top of his head, smiling through your own teary eyes at the little hum he involuntarily let out. “We’re all so, so happy that you're awake and talking and I bet Manjiro would rather move his beach birthday party a hundred years from now than lose his brother six days before his birthday,

“The beach is not going anywhere, and neither are we, okay? We are not going anywhere.” 

And you knew it wasn’t not enough. Your words weren’t enough to shut up the swirling negativity spiral in his brain. But at least it was enough to calm him down, enough for him to fall asleep in spite of the dampness kissing his skin; he might have successfully managed to suppress the heart wrenching sobs, but he was not strong enough to hold back the tears that cascaded down his cheeks.

You follow through not long after, head lolling to the side in an uncomfortable position that would for sure leave your neck aching for days. But you wouldn’t have it any other way. There was no dreaming this time. No nightmares or worst case scenarios crafted deep within your subconscious. In spite of the gloomy circumstances, the two of you had fallen asleep. Finally, being in your arms was beyond comforting. Plus, indulging in the rest your body had craved for hours made it easier to regain consciousness once Manjiro decided to jump on the two of you in surprise, never minding the possibility of further injuring his brother by mistake.

Being on the receiving end of his lovable violence hurt more than you thought it would, one of his hands landing straight on your stomach and the other on Shinichiro’s chest, but you couldn’t blame the kid. Based on what Keisuke had confided in you last night, Manjiro had witnessed both his best friends’ arrest as well as his brother being pulled out unconscious on a stretcher out of the shop.

Beyond a muffled apology, he didn’t utter anything else, like his voice had given in. He clung onto Shinichiro’s body like his life depended on it. 

A swift knock on the door caught your attention, though Manjiro didn't even bother looking up, face tucked against his brother’s body, letting himself relax as his brother’s fingers threaded through his blond locks. 

Emma poked her head from behind the wall, hands holding onto the door frame for balance. From where you laid you could see how her eyes were almost as puffy as yours. They were rimmed with a bright red, the same shade that was splotched all over her cheeks and nose. Mansaku stood beside her, holding onto his hat.

You could physically feel the relief washing over Shinichiro the moment he saw his whole family entering the room. He laid lighter next to you, with a brighter smile decorating his lips. It was like his body had melted from hard concrete right into a puddle, your previous conversation seemingly forgotten as a twinkle of warmth returned to his pretty eyes.

Careful not to let Manjiro fall in the dent you were leaving as you stood up, you beckoned Emma over. She cuddled up to Shinichiro, clinging onto him while her soft sniffles filled the silent room, and you swore you had almost started tearing up again at the sight.

Mansaku placed a hand on your shoulder, making you flinch in surprise as he acknowledged your presence. Like a wordless thank you, he nodded at you before stepping closer towards the bed, letting his hand rest on Shinichiro’s, and gently squeezed as if making sure his grandson was truly there. 

In no way shape or form was it the perfect family meetup—a perfect one wouldn’t entail the eldest-grandson-slash-parental-figure stuck in a hospital bed. But by the way they huddled together, Shinichiro pinching Manjiro’s cheeks, the latter not even fighting him off like he usually would, and patting Emma’s head in reassurance, with Mansaku displaying the ghost of a smile as he stood next to his grandchildren, the four of them gave off the feeling of everything being okay.

The familiar warmth between them left you to watch the scene like an outsider in a third-person point of view. It made you feel like you were intruding, messily glued to one of those fancy family portraits. 

In spite of both your families spending the majority of their lives around one another, you weren’t a Sano. No matter how close Keisuke and Manjiro were, no matter how much Shinichiro and you acted like a married couple with at least five children, you were never going to be one. You knew this from the start, but even so, the knowledge didn’t stop the churning of a deeply seeded loneliness inside your stomach. 

You didn’t bother with your goodbyes. Even if you had promised Shinichiro you’d spend the rest of the day together—pretending to be bothered and reluctant when you sealed it with a ‘pinky promise’ to hide the fact you’d willingly play nurse whenever he needed it—something from within told you it was your time to leave, you weren’t that important after all.

The question swirled inside your skull, bitter as it scratched your bones, as you leaned against the walls outside the hospital. At first, you intended to camp out in a waiting room, maybe join them after you had finally calmed down, but instead your legs had taken you right outside, landing you in a secluded area between the building and the many trees surrounding it so you could confidently retrieve the crushed package from your back pocket without disturbing anyone

Your thumb burned as you attempted to roll the sparkwheel of your zippo lighter, the metal forming uncomfortable crevices against your skin. You had to hold back the urge to bite down on the cigarette you had clumsily stuck between your teeth instead of your lips, frustration welling up and threatening to burst from the seams that clumsily held you together. 

Waiting for the uncomfortable itch to burn at your throat, you traced the outline of the red koi fish at the corner of the lighter, eroded after thumbing at it like a nervous tick over the years. Every time you felt your eyes water you made sure to compulsively take another drag, as if the smoke could cloud your thoughts, mixing them up with the familiar nostalgia.

Anyone would think that after incinerating your taste buds with each stick you burn, you’d get used to the taste. Whoever said it gets easier the more you do it was a liar. They were as disgusting as ever, flavour the exact same as those you had tried when you were younger, fooling around with your friends. It first started when Shinichiro and Takeomi brought a couple of cigarettes they had stolen from his grandfather to one of your hang outs. It prompted the three of you to continuously choke and make fun of each other for doing so until there were only mustard coloured butts squished on the floor. 

Neither Takeomi nor you had really enjoyed the experience, but for some reason, Shinichiro was quick to grow fond of the taste. He made sure to carry around a twelve-pack wherever he went, lighting up cigarette after cigarette in strategic places so the smell wouldn’t stick to his hair or clothes. Not soon after, the rather unhealthy habit had extended to the remaining two of you, who couldn’t help but carry your own packs to satisfy your newly birthed cravings. 

Looking back, you’re sure younger-you did that to be a little more like Shinichiro, just like Takeomi, and for other even more childish reasons like appearing more mature and attractive in his eyes; you clearly remember him having a thing for older women for a while. Sure, the two of you were the same age but still, you felt like he didn’t see you like you wanted him to, and the only way for you to change that would be to gain some more common ground with him right? 

So yeah, just like Takeomi, you wanted to be more like Shinchiro, but unlike Takeomi—as far as you know—you had started buying cigarette packets mainly to share back and forth with your best friend in, what you would call, a weak attempt at flirting. 

At least the cringe memory managed to rip you out from the insecurity whirlpool you were being sucked into, making you groan while softly hitting your head against the concrete wall. Thank god Wakasa existed to berate you into stopping the unhealthily embarrassing habit. Back then you were just a kid, but were you being for real? Were you seriously intending to build your whole life around a man to the point you’d indulge in one of the most common and deadliest habits in the world for a slim chance at a high-school romance? Fuck, was younger-you so painfully stupid to even think–

“One of you is already in the hospital, we don't need you to auto-hospitalise.”

The old man’s voice made you jump, fumbling with the cigarette until it fell to the floor. You tried to hide the coughing fit to the best of your ability while frantically stomping on the lit stick laying on the ground. It didn’t matter that you were an adult, you were still terrified of getting caught smoking by the man.

“Would you mind sharing one with me?” He asked, ignoring the way your face morphed into a confused frown. With nimble fingers, you opened your cigarette pack once again, handing him your lighter when he was unable to fetch his from his pockets.

“You still smoke?” You questioned, adding a hasty ‘sir’ once you noticed how informal you had sounded. 

He chuckled in response, taking another puff. “I only stopped doing it in front of the children.”

This time it was your turn to chuckle, playing with the gravel underneath your feet to avoid looking at the man at your slip-up. Still, even with your gaze fixated on the ground you could tell he was looking at you in curiosity. 

“I didn’t mean to laugh it’s just,” clearing your throat, you stumbled with your words, debating in your head whether you should come up with one of your horrid cover ups or tell the truth. “You always smoked around us when we were little, like you didn’t care.”

You thought he would’ve left you alone after that, knowing you were purposely disrespectful towards him. It would’ve been better that way. Then you would’ve been left to wallow in your own self-pity in peace, with no one to stop you from finishing the seven remaining cigarettes. But he didn’t, taking you aback as he stayed rooted right by your side. 

Had you been anyone else, he would’ve called them out. To cover up his own embarrassment or to make up for the disrespect? Not even he could be sure. But he had seen you grow up next to his own grandchildren, sharing your love and caring nature with them along with your mild irascibility and your talent for keeping Shinichiro on a tight leash. He couldn’t help but grow fond of you, even if most of your one-on-one interactions had consisted of you running away from him before he managed to scold you. 

He had only stopped smoking once Manjiro was born, self-awareness finally sinking into his thick skull as he watched his two grandsons play together. No one had questioned him back then, letting him sit on the couch undisturbed while he read the morning paper. It was only after Sakurako had passed away, that he had started to notice the many areas he was lacking, watching both Shinichiro and you fill the gaps in each other’s broken homes while he alienated himself from the responsibility of taking care of his family. The two of you worked so in sync, he would be of no help—or at least that was what he had told himself.

“I wasn’t the best grandfather.”

“You think?”

“I know.” He smiled at your attitude; snappy as always, the only difference was the way you now recoiled in embarrassment at your slip ups. Using his fingers to get rid of the ash, he tapped on the back of the cigarette before taking another drag. “Thank you for taking care of them when I couldn’t.”

Not even a noise of acknowledgement, your vocal chords had closed themselves shut at the man’s sudden mild vulnerability. Out of all the things you expected him to ever say to you, a ‘thank you’ was never on the list. He was always sporting his characteristic cartoonish frown, speaking to everyone in a clipped tone with pointed words.

“You’re more important to us than you think.” He stepped on the cigarette butt. “That is one of the reasons why I can’t let you believe what happened to my grandson was in any way your fault.”

“‘Sorry?” You mumbled in confusion, his words pulling yet another frown onto your face; did you miss any pivotal points in the conversation? How had the conversation switched from his apparent familial issues to you? 

“I know you feel guilty for what happened, even if you weren’t involved.” He sighed, not bothering to look you in the eye before continuing his speech. “You’re not responsible for your brother’s doing.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed in mild amusement, as if that wasn’t something you’ve been trying to tell yourself; all Bajis share their fuckups. But then again, of course he wouldn’t understand. “Easier said than done.”

This time you didn’t try to make up for the way had snapped at him. And bless the man for being able to read the room, because he didn’t push the conversation further. Deep down he knew you needed the outlet; you may have already cried, but all your anger was still pent up inside of you. And after everything you had done for him and his family, it was the least he could do for you. 

“It doesn’t matter what we believe, we’re always responsible for everyone’s mess.” You scoff in dismay. “It’s like we were born for our families to have a provisional caretaker. 

“So thank you for trying to tell me I didn’t break into Shinchiro’s shop, I know I didn’t, but it's still my mess to fix.” The aftertaste of the words laid heavy in your mouth, trickling down your throat like bitter bile tearing through the tissue. You didn’t like how they sounded; they were too impersonal, too selfish. You took a deep breath, holding yourself upright in spite of the pang in your chest. “Not that i wouldn’t have taken care of Shin if someone else had been responsible for what happened, I lo– I– I care too much about him to just leave him be but its just—”

You cleared your throat, “If I had made sure I knew where Keisuke was going or, or if I had actually tried to listen to him when he told me he didn’t know what to give Manjiro for his birthday then maybe– just…” 

You trailed off, unable to finish your sentence without breaking down the walls of the dam you thought you had finally managed to piece back together. You didn’t want the responsibility of rebuilding them back up, you don’t think you’d be able to do it as quickly as you’d want to. But you weren’t venting your sorrows to the wind. Mansaku Sano was still standing next to you, hands locked behind his back as he waited for you to continue, and though he was well aware of the times in which he had to remain quiet, he also knew when it was time to speak up. 

“Then what?”

“Then,” you swallow, “then none of this would’ve happened, and he would’ve been okay.”

Your body itched for another cigarette, pawing at your skull for you to smother down the tears spouting from your eyes, even if the smoke would make your eyes teary once again. But with Mansaku Sano standing next to you, you didn’t dare touch a single one; it didn’t matter that you had just finished spilling your pent up emotions, you drew the line at smoking with Shinichiro’s grandfather. The thought sprouted a melancholic smile on your lips; Shinichiro would have a field day when he finds out what just went down.

The only thing left you had to ground yourself was the cold metal of your lighter, already starting to heat up at the warmth of your skin. You ran your thumb over it once again, the pattern already engraved in your mind. The habit had probably developed out of your need to be comforted by familiarity—of course the lighter was the right candidate, from its colour and texture, size and temperature, you had everything about it memorised like the back of your hand. 

“It’s a really nice lighter.” You hadn't realised you were playing with it until he spoke up; twirling it between your fingers over and over again, flipping it open and close, lighting it up before shutting the lid and extinguishing the flame. 

“Thanks,” you sniffled, and right after you finished speaking, your voice hoarse and tired, you regretted ever doing so. You felt like a child once again; like when your mom tried to comfort you after you had scraped your knee, or when a couple of older middle-schoolers had beaten your friends up. A child like when the day was finally over and you had to go back home from a play-date, or when your favourite toy had fallen inside the river while walking over a bridge. You regretted speaking the minute you had discovered your voice sounded as weak as you felt, and yet, at the mention of your beloved trinket, you felt the warm giddiness wash over your body forcing you to speak. And so, once again like a child, you did. “I got it at a summer festival, Shin got it for me.”

“I thought you said you wanted to come visit him.”

For a minute Keisuke didn’t speak. He looked straight at the ground, feet planted on the floors like roots had grown out of him as he held your hand.

Earlier this morning he had clung onto your waist while angry tears rolled down his cheeks. The moment he caught sight of you putting your shoes on the genkan he had broken into a run, letting his body smash against yours, and almost making you lose your balance. Both you and your mom had tried your hardest to calm him down for what felt like hours but to no avail. He persisted, begging for you to let him accompany you to the hospital. 

Outside of Shinichiro’s room, it was a whole other story. All of a sudden he had decided he didn’t want to see him eye to eye. His reaction made you internally groan in frustration. Had you listened to your own gut feeling telling you Keisuke wasn’t ready to come with you, it would’ve saved him the stress of making a choice for himself. Instead, you were too weak to his puppy dog eyes and wobbly pleas, and now his eyes had started to water as he tried to hold back his own hiccups. 

“I promise Shin-nii isn’t angry at you,” you cooed, kneeling down to the floor and looking up at him. When had he gotten this tall? When had he grown this much? Were your efforts enough to shape him into a decent person? “and if you truly don't feel comfortable we can go home, I promise I won’t get angry.”

He rubbed at his teary eyes with his free hand before nodding at you, trailing behind you as you stood up and knocked on the door.

“Hey!” you poked your head into the room with a smile, one that faltered as you tried to keep your mouth from falling open in awe once you noticed how the sunlight streaming from the window kissed every inch of Shinichiro’s skin as he quietly read the book you had given him as a joke. He looked up at you, pearly whites all up for display, and mumbled a soft mumbled a soft ‘hey’ right back at you; he looked so pretty he could be mistaken for an angel. “I brought Keisuke with me, ‘that okay?”

He hummed in response, marking the page he was reading before setting it aside. Even after the events that took place at the shop, you knew he wouldn’t mind your brother visiting—he had a soft spot for him after all. The verbal confirmation was more for Keisuke’s sake, who prompted by it, let go of your hand and walked into the room, a tinge of fear staining each step he took. 

Shinichiro grinned, gently waving his way. And though the both of you had always found some sense of comfort in the warmth of his smile, it took less than a second for Keisuke to burst into tears. Sobs wracked his body as he stood frozen in the middle of the room, frantically drying out his cheeks with his forearms in vain. Tears kept pouring from his caramel eyes down to his cheeks until they stained his striped shirt.

At the sight of his distress, Shinichiro tried standing up as quickly as possible, almost ripping off his tangled IV. Thankfully, you managed to stop him before he could; the moment your brother had started crying you were already by his side wrapping your arms around his fragile figure.

Much like you had done the past few days, you combed his hair with your fingers while shushing his cries. It had become almost like a habit, Keisuke running to you in the middle of the day, hugging you close while you dried his tears for him. You’d think he’d ran out of tears by now, but something you didn’t take into account was how similar the two of you were, always feeling everything too much, all at once.

“You’re okay,” you whispered into his hair, “you’re okay, and Shin-nii’s okay, see?” you asked him, holding his tear streaked cheeks and motioning his face to meet your gaze, waiting for his breathing to even out before you coaxed him into looking at Shinichiro. “We’ve got you, the two of us, we've got you.”

He smiled at him once again, though you could see a twinkle of sadness in his eyes, as extended one of his hands for him to take. Warily, he warmed up to the invitation, wiping the remaining tears from his face before dragging his feet to the edge of the bed, asking if he could sit with him in a very un-Keisuke nature; it was unusual for him to ask before acting on his impulses.

Shinichiro softened once he felt Keisuke nuzzling his cheek against his chest. He ran his fingers through his dark locks, and as he did so you couldn’t help but think how his hair kept getting longer and longer with each day; hopefully no one from the school office would call you letting you know it was time to chop it off once classes were back in session.

In between hushed whispers, they talked amongst each other for a while. At first, Baji kept giving one word responses, still insecure in spite of your reassurance, but it wasn’t long before he started to loosen up, giggling between sniffles at Shinichiro’s questions and mocking his ‘honorary-brother’ back with teary jabs.

It was a solid dynamic they had been able to build after years of trust and consistent interaction; your two favourite boys extending their love to each other like they were flesh and blood. In that way, the two of them were similar, fiercely loyal and willing to give themselves up for those they loved. You were grateful that Shinichiro was there for Keisuke as he grew up, unknowingly making up for everything you lacked.

The mumble of your name caught your attention, popping your nostalgia blown bubble. Keisuke and Shinichiro alike were beckoning you over, the latter extending his arm as the two of them scooted over and patted the free space next to him.

He held your hand like you were a princess stepping onto a carriage, gingerly helping you keep your balance as you toed-off your shoes. You let out a sigh once you plopped yourself on the bed, letting his arm curl around your shoulders while he kept your hands interlocked, rubbing the skin with his thumb. In spite of the giddiness warming your stomach, you forced yourself to roll your eyes in response when he teasingly asked if you were comfortable, pretending to be bothered by his apparent clinginess 

“‘Your sister made you try the jell-o cups already?” he asked Keisuke, the younger boy looking up at him through puffy eyes and wet lashes, and once he shook his head in response he whistled, turning towards you as if disappointed. “You haven’t made him try ‘em yet?” 

“‘Came straight to see you.” You brushed off, pretending you didn’t feel his body tense beside you and smiling to yourself in subtle victory when he gulped.

“You should’ve gone to the cafeteria first.” He scolded jokingly, clicking his tongue as if that would help him hide his blushing cheeks that hurt from his own shy affection. Soon after, he switched his attention to your brother, ruffling his hair before speaking, “Remember those jell-o cups you used to share with Manjiro and Haruchiyo? The ones they sold at the konbini?”

“Yeah, but they don't have ‘em anymore,” Keisuke pouted, brows furrowed in thought. His sharp canines poked at his bottom lip, tilting his head up at Shinichiro and grinning. “Mikey almost fought the cashier guy when we found out they stopped selling them!”

“Yeah, I remembered that.” He chuckled, recalling the time he had heard the employee complain about Manjiro’s sudden aggression on one of his morning milk runs. “But guess what?” he sat on his forearms, dragging out the silence to build anticipation. He waited for the two of you to raise your heads from his chest, sharing an evident impatience as you urged him to continue. He took a deep breath before grinning once again. “They still sell ‘em over here.”

“No way! Really?!” The boy stood up in less than a second, forcing you to grab onto the neck of his t-shirt to prevent him from falling flat on his ass while he cried in glee, tears seemingly forgotten. Those jell-o cups in particular had been a staple of everyone’s childhood; you had been eating those snacks for years and years. You can clearly remember the clear disappointment in his face when he told you they had been discontinued, his somberness rubbing off on you.

“Yeah!” Shinichiro exclaimed back, scooting closer to your brother and placing one of his hands on the bed railing behind your brother, aiding you in your task of preventing Keisuke from falling to the ground. The memory had suddenly made its wake into his consciousness after mulling over ways to comfort your brother and coming up empty handed, until he had suddenly turned to his bedside table where an empty plastic cup sat with a flimsy disposable spoon. “Manjiro and Emma got a bunch from the cafeteria to take home, you could do the same.”

You were almost taken aback by the speed he used to turn his face towards you, surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash before he asked you with as much excitement he could muster, “Can we?! Please, please!?”

His pleading words made his bronze eyes sparkle under the fluorescent lights and though you know you shouldn’t, you can’t find it in yourself to say no. You smiled and nodded without a shadow of a doubt that you’d do anything in your power to keep the toothy grin you missed on his lips.

“Does that mean I can go get one now?” He pleaded, tilting his head and yet again putting on display the best puppy-dog eyes he could muster. “Please? I haven't had one in years, I wanna know if they’re the same as I remember.”

“Knock yourself out.” Shinichiro said before you could respond, ruffling Keisuke’s hair before the latter jumped down, ignoring the fact you didn’t give him a proper response before running off to the cafeteria.

You sighed unimpressed, turning towards the man beside you and letting yourself slump against his figure. His chuckle only made you roll your eyes.

“What? Were you planning to say no to him?” 

He knew you too well for your own good.

“Shut up.” With a gentle push you force him back down on the bed, elbowing him lightly in the process and pressing your head back against his chest. You almost hum in satisfaction when he let himself fall back down without resistance, caving in under your touch. “I could’ve said no.”

“Yeah, right.” This time, he was the one rolling his eyes, mocking your mannerisms and chuckling when you smiled, hoping the apparent ‘nonchalance’ would mask his now increased heart rate, and the faster beating coming from the vital sign monitor.

“I could’ve!” You tried to sit up in retaliation, pretending to be annoyed, yet you didn’t resist when he pulled you back down. He held down his own giggling once he felt you cuddling up closer to his side, tracing random patterns on his dotted hospital gown and realising too late how close both your hands were. The proximity made you nervous; even if the two of you were practically laying one on top of the other, holding hands felt like a foreign act of intimacy. 

Subtly enough, you tried reaching out for the tip of his fingers, moving what seemed like less than a millimetre per minute. Soon enough, he took notice of your plan; hesitantly, he moved his own towards you, letting your fingertips rest against each other for a couple of seconds, like he was asking for your permission, before interlocking his fingers with yours.

“You really can’t stay away from me, can you?” he teased, gaze focused on your entwined hands through his lashes as he felt too shy to look anywhere near your face. It seemed that hiding the pink-ish blush staining his cheek had become his number one priority; you were so close, so everywhere, he wouldn’t want it any other way, even if the closest he’d get to you would be through friendly teasing, bordering the line of ‘definitely, a 100% and unmistakably platonic’ flirting. 

In your mind, you were desperately scavenging for any semblance of a comeback, preferably witty and with the same energy he was giving you.Instead, all you did was sigh.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

You blamed the gusty confession on a moment of weakness, likely born out of your depleting energy mixed with the way his hand fit against yours like two perfectly carved puzzle pieces. You weren’t sure why you had said what you did, the way you did; voice softening as the longing you had suppressed your whole life coated every syllable that rolled down your tongue. 

He hummed in response, giddy and satisfied, before backtracking in confusion. The lack of sarcasm or annoyance lighthearted mockery caught the two of you off-guard, though it seemed to have a bigger impact on him as his body tensed up for a moment. If you were to look up at him, you’d probably see his head tilted to the side, with warm cheeks and the ghost of a frown clouding his features.

And that’s exactly why you don’t. 

Not like this; you wouldn't allow yourself to do so, wouldn’t even dare. Not when the stakes were this high, multiple worst outcomes served on a silver platter for you to choose because once you look up at him he would notice the way you see him, like he hung up each individual constellation up in the sky on his own and then all of it would be over for you.

For the both of you. 

“Do you, uh,” the slight shake in his voice made you gulp, like you had an inkling of a very possible question he could ask. Maybe this would finally be the end of your friendship which, to your own dismay, could be very easily broken by other things that weren’t death itself, “do you know if Keisuke has talked to Manjiro yet?”

You cleared your throat, holding back the sigh of relief, and shook your head. “I don’t think he knows how.”

“He’s scared?” 

“I think so,” you pondered, “they’ve been friends since forever, I think he’s scared of losing…him.”

Knowing that both you and your brother’s situation overlapped in so many ways felt weird; both Baji siblings were scared to lose their respective Sano brothers. It sounded funny, almost cute, like both Bajis and Sanos were meant to stick together generation after generation. You would’ve giggled at the thought, explain the parallels between the two relationships to Shinichiro and laugh at the silliness of it, yet the fear that had taken possession of your body the last couple of days lingered at the thought. 

Scared of losing him.

You almost choked on the words sitting heavy in your mouth, like you had confessed to a crime. Had you been alone, maybe they would’ve urged you to cry.

“Hey, ‘you okay?” You hadn’t realised that the worry had bled onto your face, dripping down your cheeks and coating your eyelashes with sorrow until he spoke up, tearing you away from your trance. But you couldn’t help it, the lingering torture you endured at the hands of your brain replaying past events, from the bailing your brother out of jail as he sobbed to having Wakasa answer the call for you, Kazutora crying in your arms and Shinichiro blaming himself for his own accident, the more you felt like losing yourself in his embrace, tightening your hold on his hand. “You left me there for a second I thought–”

“No.”

“What?”

“No, I’m–” you stuttered, “I don’t think I’m okay, I–”

Rejection after rejection, you’ve seen what felt like an infinite amount of his confessions go sideways, and yet he handled each and every one of them with grace. You’d attribute his resilience to the amount of first hand experience he’s had with it, and though at first it had taken a big toll on him. By now, rejection was nothing to him. He could make a fool of himself in front of anyone and he really wouldn’t care; he has told you so himself. 

But you were not Shinichiro, and you could never be him.

You were resentful and impulsive, oftentimes reacting way before you think. You were impatient and whiny, though you tried your best to suppress that particular trait to no avail. You were a selfish, self-destructive being that somehow managed to keep the insecure neediness brewing inside on the down low. 

And you could go on. You could go on because you were stubborn, volatile, melodramatic and a part of your brain really does think you were just setting yourself up for failure listing every single negative character trait that comes to mind. But it didn’t matter because that just further proves you're not Shinichiro Sano, that you were never going to be Shinichiro Sano because you were weak.

Too weak to answer the call, too weak not to try and escape uncomfortable situations, too weak to hold back the urge for a smoke, too weak to forgive Kazutora, too weak to confess your feelings for your best friend even after bawling your eyes out at the thought of a life without him.

Too weak, too weak, too weak. 

Being weak is all you’ve ever known. 

The thoughts poured and they wouldn’t stop, crashing against each other like the same bumper carts you rode along with Shinichiro at the funfair with your siblings. Back then, you were all smiles and laughter, and right now you wondered if the two of you would’ve held hands if it wasn’t for Emma sitting in the middle of you both.

And he was so warm next to you, not pressuring you to clarify whatever word-vomit you just spewed instead of a proper comeback. So sweet as he squeezed your hand to let you know he was there to help in whichever way he could to lull your worries to sleep. So kind as he took care of you when you should be the one taking care of him. Always so him.

You had no right to be a coward, at least not in front of one of the strongest and bravest people you’ve ever met. It wasn’t fair. Listing your flaws from the top of your head would never justify your body preventing itself from spilling the truth just so you could try and grasp at the fragile strings of self-pity to sew yourself back together as unspoken words necrotize your tongue. 

The same way you wouldn’t dare look at him, you wouldn’t dare stay away from him. It’d kill you just to try. So fuck every martyrish thought in your head, fuck the burned cigarette butts stained with indirect kisses, fuck the many nights the two of you spent stargazing in his garden, the infinite amount of chocolates you bought him for valentine’s day to make up for the emptiness of his locker; and the countless times he had dropped everything he was doing for the chance to spend just a couple of minutes with you. Fuck the worn out red koi fish engraved on your lighter and the possibility of breaking the promise you two made of never straying away from each other.

“I can’t stay away from you,” you took a deep breath, “I think I’d rather die than live a life without you,

“The sole idea of losing you almost sent me over the edge, and even after you were out of surgery I was a mess,” you stopped yourself again, giving yourself the chance to swallow down the knot in your throat; it didn’t work. “I was going insane without being able to talk your ear off because even when I talk about something you couldn’t give a shit about you still give a shit, you give so many shits when it comes to me, too many,

“You’re loyal and gentle and charming and you’re always smiling, and it's like, it's like you're absolutely everything good and even then you genuinely have no idea how wrapped around your finger I truly am, 

“And I don't think I’ve ever properly thanked you for existing because I don't think I’d be the same person I am right now if it wasn't for you, and even if I'm not perfect, I- I wouldn't trade myself for a better version if that meant you wouldn’t be in my life.

“So, yeah, I guess you’re right, I don’t think I can,” you let your shoulders sag, like the confession finally burned years upon years of cover-ups and excuses and fake scenarios you had come up with before bed stored in the darkest depth of your brain. “Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to stay away from you.”

Pensive, he melted further against the pillows, letting his muscles melt at the sound of his own sighing. Even if you weren’t directly looking at him, you hear his smile reverberating throughout his body, and the sole idea of him possibly reciprocating your feelings made you impossibly giddy; a little too giddy. It was easy, after all, to get your hopes up once you lose yourself in him, his warmth and comfort. And for less than a second, you can see your hypothetical future with him pass right in front of your eyes, forcing you to accept a premature victory. But as the silence between the two of you started to drag itself out, you couldn't help but reluctantly welcome the acrid heartbreak tearing through your skin.

“I’m sorry,” you tensed up, “I shouldn’t have–”

“No, no, it's–,” he blurted out tongue tied as if your words had snapped him out of a trance, mirroring the same giddiness you had displayed with the same hint of hesitancy, “no one has talked about me like that, I guess it just caught me off-guard.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I don’t– don’t think I'd be able to stay away from you either– not that I want to, of course it's just– sorry give me a minute.” Looking off to the side, he tried to collect himself, clearing his throat and pinching his cheeks, the skin already stained with all sorts of shades of pink. For him, it was inevitable not to become all shy and flustered, the least he could do was bite his tongue so as not to break into a fit of giggles, prevent himself from swinging his legs and twirling his short strands of hair like a lovesick middle schooler. All because of you. “Just, um, just to be clear before I look like an absolute fool, not that I don't look like an absolute fool on a daily basis, but this is a confession, right?” 

You raised your head up in confusion, tilting your head and furrowing your brows. Had you not been so baffled by his self-explanatory question you would’ve fawned over this version of him, giddy and soft and in love with you because just by looking at his eyes you could tell he was looking at you like you hung the moon up in the sky—it was easy to decipher; after staring at him the exact same way countless times, you were bound to familiarise yourself with such display of devotion. And had he not looked this adorable, you would’ve teased him for being so painfully and hopelessly dense, but you didn’t have it in you to do so, only managing to nod in response.

“So you like like me?” He continued, waiting for your reassurance, either a nod or a smile, or any signal that he was right. “So you are in love with me?”

“I mean, I wouldn't say I'm in love but if that's what makes you sleep at night.” The more you stared at his face, the dimples on his cheeks, the creasing of his eyes at your words and the giggle he couldn’t help but contain, the wider the smile creeping at his lips became.

“Will you say it then?” He prodded, moving closer to you, now unable to hide the twinge of pink that grew what seemed like a thousand shades per second.

“I don’t know,” your legs innocently dangled from the side of the bed, trying to win back control of the situation by cutting down on your proximity, and sitting up properly from your half-lying position, “will I?”

“Please?” he begged, cupping one of your cheeks with the palm of his hand and pulling you closer until you could feel each other's breaths. His skin was warm against yours, the roughness of his palm from working non-stop at the shop offset by the tenderness he carried around for you. 

And though you wanted to drag this on, enjoying the back and forth, you were so whipped for this man that you couldn’t stop your nonchalant act from crumbling as soon as you heard him once again let out a shy giggle after he nudged your nose with his.

“I love you.” 

Voice dreamy and saccharine sweet, like confessing to your lifelong desire, you whispered, and just before your lips touched, through lidded eyes and uneven breath he whispered back ‘and I love you’. 

After his own confession, you were unable to pay attention to anything that wasn’t him. All your senses were muted as his soft lips gilded against yours. The taste of the honey chapstick you applied almost compulsively melted against his tongue, and he wondered if like him, you could still faintly taste the strawberry chapstick you had gifted him a while ago; the same one he hadn’t stopped using since, going as far as asking the hospital staff to retrieve it from the pockets of the jeans he was wearing the day of the accident for him.

He bit back a whimper when he felt you bite down gently on his bottom lip, unable to ignore the way you smirk against the kiss once your hand makes its way up to the side of his neck to rest on his pulse point, in the perfect position to feel his heart doing somersaults underneath your touch. It made him want to melt right against you; the more you wandered down his body, the bigger the urge to hold you grew.

His calloused yet delicate fingers traced your skin, running from the apples of your cheeks down to your chin, coaxing you to fully give into him as he traced the tip of his tongue against your lips. He could feel himself grow hard once you gave him permission to enter, basking on the hidden whine you let out at the feeling of the warm muscle enveloping your whole body, drool pooling at the corner of both your lips.

Away from your face, he trails his hands slowly down your torso confidently ghosting the skin before the facade is broken the moment he almost freezes up once he gets to your chest. The blush on his cheeks deepened as you took notice of his apparent nervousness, laughing it off before he continued his path down to your hips, 

He was sure he was ready to die right here in your arms the moment you softly suck on his tongue, his eyes almost rolling towards the back of his skull as you hands grazed his clothed dick. The teasing touch made him groan, the vibrations against your lips feeding the urge to get closer to him. And almost like he had read your mind, you shivered at the tight grip of his hips guiding you over lap until you were resting flush against him.

“‘Want you so bad.” He panted in between giggles, nudging your noses together and pecking your lips over and over again. You barely managed to catch your breath between his kisses; when he leaned away you pulled him in, and when you did so he tried to follow the path of your lips until they were once again interlocked with his. The two of you ignored the satisfying burn of your lungs like the feeling of your bodies close against each other was good enough of a replacement for oxygen itself. “–Waited so long for this.”

He pulled you down a little harder against him, bucking his hips against your. Mewling into the kiss, you wrapped both your arms around his shoulders, perhaps taking too much enjoyment in the minimal friction against your core. The sensation of him rutting desperately against you forced you to meet his attempts for more with an equal amount of want.

“You feel so good.” you cooed, whimpering as he sucked at the skin behind your ear. “Shin, Fuck, you’re so good at this.”

Before he could stop himself, he was groaning at the praise, peppering kisses along your jaw and neck and refusing to come back up to meet your lips to hide the raging blush tinting his skin, spreading from his cheeks up to his ears.

“You like that? Like it when I say you're doing a good job?”

He hummed, though it sounded more like a whimper, and waited no time to pull your face back against his, connecting your lips again in a messy kiss, to, presumably, stop you from teasing him. He took the opportunity to indulge himself, once again tracing the outline of your lower lip with his tongue and nipping at the supple skin in retaliation.

In spite of your own reluctance, you broke the kiss first, finding the way he tried to chase your lips with his eyes half-lidded in pleasure, indescribably cute. You took a minute to fully take in this version of him, his breath uneven and with a thin sheen of sweat making some of his black locks stick to his forehead. His lips were puffy, glistening with saliva as they part involuntarily in an enrapturing appetite. 

He looked so pretty like this, you didn’t think you’d have it in you to control yourself. 

Once you had lowered the sheets covering his legs, one of your thumbs proceeded to draw circular patterns on his exposed thigh, chuckling at the way he flinched before relaxing against you. Gently ghosting your fingernails over his skin, you hiked up his hospital gown until you had full access to the band of his boxers, toying with the elastic but doing nothing aside from that.

“You want to do this here?” He pulled back, eyes wide and dazed with need yet frazzled at your sudden boldness, as if nearly dry humping in a hospital wasn’t bold enough. His hands played with the hem of your shirt, sending shivers down your spine every time his fingers grazed your skin. He looked like a deer caught in headlines, a way cuter version of Bambi, and you couldn’t help but nuzzle your nose against his cheek before kissing him gently, once, twice, thrice.

“Only if you want to.” 

“I do,” he swallowed, clearing his throat to keep himself lucid as he felt the tips of your fingers breaching the hem of his underwear, cold against the warmth of the covered skin. “Fuck, I really do, I need you s’bad I–”

“You fucking disgust me.” 

Like a pair of surprised kittens, the sudden interruption had the two of you jumping away from each other, almost falling off the bed while desperately trying to pull the sheets back into place. In turn Shinichiro tried helping you regain your balance, grabbing your arm before you crashed against the floor, nearly pulling down one of the hospital monitors in the process. 

“Don't you know how to knock?” You bit back, taking his comment more personally that you should’ve. 

“Didn’t think it’d be necessary.” Wakasa crossed his arms in front of his chest, shifting the lollipop in his mouth from one side of his cheek to the other. Standing beside, Benkei held a teddy bear and a lavender flower arrangement, mixed along with baby’s breaths and eucalyptus. If anyone had to guess, the bewildered expression he sported only meant he’d rather have his friend die than see whatever blasphemous activities you were performing. But then again, he probably expected to see his friend bedridden and weak instead of the free front row tickets to your ‘dry humping a post-concussed Shinichiro’ expectale. “‘Thought the worst thing we’d come across was him sleeping.”

“Why did you think coming across me sleeping d’be the worst case scenario!?” Shinichiro butted in lightheartedly, though you wouldn’t rule out the possibility of him actually being serious. “Are you saying I look ugly when I sleep?”

“No, you dumbass,” Wakasa deadpanned; even with his usual unbothered facade you could tell he was grateful for the ordinary banter, questioning his stupidity with a hidden smile. “How’re we gonna talk to you if you’re asleep.”

“Wait, what happened? I didn't see,” Takeomi joined in, panting as he held a couple of balloons that had ‘it's a boy!’ written all over them. “These two assholes left me while I was getting something to eat.”

The two of you groaned at the sound of his voice, pressing the heels of your hands against while Shinichiro hid his eyes behind his forearm. Even if you wanted to be lowkey about the whole situation, sweep it under the rug to avoid facing the embarrassment over again, you knew you wouldn't be able to hide it from anyone, not even Takeomi, and he wasn’t the brightest. 

Shinichiro’s hair was a tousled mess and his skin was dusted pink. Both of your lips were puffy, glistening under the fluorescent lights, and your breathing was uneven still. No matter how much the two of you tried to regulate it back to normal, it seemed to follow the rapid rhythm of each other’s heart beat.

“Nothing happened.” You grumbled, willing to attempt a lousy cover up in spite of your friend’s, including Shinichiro, giggling. Once he found out, it would be impossible for him to let it go. But even so, it took a lot of effort not to join in your friends’ laughter; it was funny to fuck with him—not literally—his puzzled frown as he borderline begged for someone to let him only feeding in your teasing. Still, once he found out. “We were just talking.”

“Yeah, talking about fuck–”

“Wakasa!” “Dude!” 

The two of you exclaimed as the blond tilted his head to the side, making his earring jingle. A teasing smile stretched on his lips as the four of you waited for Takeomi to process what was just mentioned. Knowing the speed in which the neurons within his brain transported information, it’d take a little while.

To everyone’s surprise, it only took him a couple of seconds to do so. You could visibly see it in his expression, morphing into one of amazement the minute realisation hit him straight in the face

“Did’ya– No way, you finally fucked?” And though his lack of decorum made the two men beside him laugh louder and the two of you groan as if to muffle his voice, he paid your reaction no mind other than using it as an affirmative response to his question. “No way, congrats dude! Who would’ve thought you needed to almost die just to lose your virginity.”

“I hate you so much.” Shinichiro playfully complained, a stupid grin threatening to make its way onto his lips disproving his claim. Seeing his four best friends standing around him right after waking up from what could’ve been a tragic accident made him feel all sorts of things he found himself unable to explain. It almost made him want to cry once again—happy tears this time.

“Anyway, now that you’ve got someone to stay with,” you changed the topic, interrupting yourself to fix the stray hairs sitting on top of Shinichiro’s head before caressing his cheek with your thumb, “I’ll go check whatever Keisuke’s doing, I‘ll be back in a sec.”

“Wait no, don’t go…” You had to resist the urge to give him another quick peck at the way he dragged out the ‘go’, and instead, grabbed your phone from his bedside table to respond to the missed messages coming from your mom. “Don’t leave me with these people.”

“Very funny Shitty-chiro.” Takeomi fake laughed, letting himself fall on one of the chairs nearby, stretching his arms before fully slumping against the backrest and looking at you. “But’s fine, I left Haruchiyo in charge, Senju’s with them as well.”

“Well that doesn't make things any better, does it.” At your snapping voice, he raised his hands up in surrender, as if the idea of letting a 13 year-old in charge of two 12 year-olds didn't have multiple flaws. Doing a 180° turn, you turned towards Shinichiro, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll be quick, promise.”

“Wait, before you go,” Wakasa interrupted, stopping you from slinging your bag over your shoulder. He took the bright red candy out of his mouth with a pop, using it as a little wand to emphasise his speech, before he continued. “Who confessed first?”

“Yeah!” Takeomi sat at the end of his seat, gaze switching from Shinichiro to you and vice versa. “How did Shinichiro confess to ya’?”

Again, faster than the usual processing speed of his cognitive skills, he managed to string the hints together, gasping at the silence that settled between the two of you as you tried to silently decide who should say what. Shinichiro opened his mouth like a fish, as if trying to come up with something to appease his friend’s reaction before giving up and averting his eyes, pointing at you with his thumb.

Wakasa’s smirk only grew the more Takeomi seemed to sink back into the chair in dejection. “‘gotta pay up Omi-omi.”

The ruffling of bills and the complaints birthed out of the apparent loser’s mouth distracted you momentarily. You were about to laugh at the scene in front of you, two of them waiting with their hands stretched out as Takeomi reluctantly placed the wrong amount in his palm, grunting when Wakasa noticed it wasn’t the amount they had agreed on, before it clicked in your head.

“Pay up,” you mumbled to yourself, “Pay up, pay up? Wait, did you three bet on us?”

“Kinda,” Benkei sent you a reassuring smile, counting the hundred yen bills that were handed to him once again; when it came to money matters, Takeomi wasn’t someone you could trust. “We bet on who’d confess first.”

“And you didn’t bet on me?!” Shinchiro exclaimed, a little louder than he intended.

“Sorry man, ‘didn't have faith in you,” Wakasa folded the five crinkled bills in half before stashing them in his back pocket. “After your failed attempt I kinda accepted you weren’t going to win, Benkei was always betting against you, though.”

“But ‘ya admit it!” Takeomi jumped from his seat, waving his now empty wallet in the air like he was fencing with the worn out leather rectangle. “He did confess first!”

“Hell no, it only counts if it was a successful confession.”

“So the bet wouldn’t count if one of them got rejected? What's the point then!”

Wakasa groaned, pressing his temples with his thumb and middle finger, “It only counts if the two of them understand whatever was done was a confession.”

“But the lighter was him confessing!”

“Takeomi, that was the vaguest confession to ever be seen by the entirety of mankind.”

“What confession are you talking about…?” You interrupted the animated discourse with a question. In spite of enjoying the banter between your friends, you remained in the dark. Shinichiro had never confessed to you, or even remotely tried to do so. You were a hundred percent certain, after all, had he done so you were sure you’d be dating by now. 

“The lighter you always carry around,” Takeomi responded, “the fish one.”

Instinctively, you patted the pocket where your zippo lighter sat, carefully trailing your thumb lightly over the red imprints as you pulled it out. It looked almost exactly the same way as it did during the summer festival. The only difference, aside from the way the metal reflected the cold hospital lights instead of fireworks and paper lanterns, were the couple of dents on the metal and the previously well-defined engraving softening over the years.

“S‘not just a fish,” Shinichiro chuckled, letting himself fall back on the bed while hiding his flustered state behind a seemingly lame explanation. At this rate, he was sure his skin could be permanently stained a pinkish-red. “It's a red koi fish.”

“Wait,” you snapped your head from the lighter to him, letting your mouth fall open in surprise, “you, you meant that?”

“What do you…mean?” Shinichiro poked, voice twisting and forcing the ‘mean’ to come out strained. Watching your shoulders tense up and, somehow, simultaneously relaxed made him wary of the whole situation, like the universe itself was playing a prank on him. And though unlikely, he wasn't ruling out the possibility of random cameras popping up from behind the door or through the window or maybe from underneath his bed with a huge poster reading ‘you’ve been pranked!’.

He had given you that lighter seven years ago, the engravings were probably faded by now, there was no way…

“Red koi fish mean romantic love, don’t they?” 

It took him a couple of seconds to properly run your words through his brain, before his eyes widened in amusement mixed with the mild disappointment his seventeen year-old-self had forced himself to ignore after his confession had gone wrong. “You knew!?” 

“Uh…yeah? We learned that in literature class.” You shrugged with a sheepish smile in an attempt to tame down the laughter that had started bubbling in your throat at his mortified reaction. He groaned at your response, throwing one of his arms over his eyes, the sound mixing with a cry as the movement pulled on the IV digging into his arm.

He licked his lips a couple of times and rubbed the skin above the needle in an attempt to soothe the ache. Stalling, he was trying to buy time before he asked anything that could potentially hurt him. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Aside from flustered and pouty, slightly amused at his own failed attempt, he appeared to be a little sullen, perhaps even sad. It was obvious to you, though you didn’t know why; maybe he was blaming himself for losing the opportunity to get in a relationship with you way earlier. Or, maybe he blamed himself for putting any sort of pressure on you; back then, he wasn’t a hundred percent sure how you felt about him, so maybe you had purposely ignored his advances because you didn't want him. But that couldn’t be it, could it? Less than a couple of minutes ago the two of you were confessing your love for each other, so if that were to be the case, when did your feelings for him start to change? “Did, uh, did you not like me back then?”

Looking at his hopeful yet gloomy expectant features, he appeared so small and vulnerable in front of you, you wanted to give him a hug. The question had visibly caught you off-guard, your brows furrowing as soon as he was done talking. Who would’ve thought that a seemingly innocuous event from your past would come back transformed into an apparent irrational insecurity. It prompted yet another silence upon the two of you. And though it felt eternal, it lasted only a couple of milliseconds, interrupted by both your annoyance and Takeomi munching on the chips he bought at an inflated price on one of the hospital’s vending machines. 

“Do you mind?” You turned towards the obnoxious mistake you had chosen as a friend, snickering as he shrugged in questionable indifference, mumbling a muffled ‘go on’ before motioning you two to continue with a shake of his hand. But at the lack of positive feedback from anyone in the room he stopped himself to explain.

“What? It’s like watching a live romcom,” he shoved more chips into his mouth, “The ones we watch every friday, ‘ya know what I mean?”

“Okay,” Benkei clapped both his hands together, gathering everyone’s attention before he pulled Takeomi into a standing position and pushed both him and an amused Wakasa towards the door. “Seems like all of us are hungry, we’re heading to the cafeteria real quick, we’ll send Baji back up when we’re done, sounds good?”

“Sounds good, thanks, Benkei.” You smiled at him, watching the three of them leave and sighing in satisfaction when you saw the way the gentle-giant punched Takeomi’s arm once they were far enough for his complaints to appear silent. “But to answer your question,” you turned towards Shinichiro once again, sitting at the edge of the bed and resting your hand on top of his. You could see the way he visibly relaxed against your touch, the warmth of your skin coaxing his insecurities away little by little. “I did like you very much back then, too much for it to be considered healthy, I'm pretty sure…”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?”

“Well, I, you know,” you stumbled over your words, suddenly feeling the embarrassment for your younger self was all over you. Why didn’t you say anything? Well, in hindsight, you didn’t think Shinchiro had it in him to use a literary reference as a means of confession. Not because he was stupid, that was Takeomi's role, but because it was very un-Shinichiro. You had been witness to the countless failed confession attempts and nothing included anything as subtle and detailed as the lighter he had gifted you. Back then, he professed his brimming infatuation with an honest smile, the well-rehearsed question ‘would you go out with me?’ and absolutely nothing else. And though the ‘courting’ period included him acting all whipped and soft, he was usually very blunt when it came to asking people out, gentle but direct. 

Although, thinking about it a little bit more in depth, he had always been very romantic, sometimes cringy with the shitty pick up lines, but during movie nights he had always chosen movies with clear romantic subplots, and you can recall that one romance poetry book he kept borrowing from the library, unable to finish it before returning it—at least that’s what you thought, by the amount of times he had taken it home.

When you were both in middle school and high school, he would watch couples holding hands with a gentle smile, sometimes going as far as spacing out and letting a dreamy sigh fall from his lips—he always brushed off the person asking the reason behind his sighing, but you were paying attention to him more often than not, so of course you knew—and of course, you couldn’t forget the many times he had shared hypothetical scenarios with the four of you, most of them consisting of him fantasising out loud the sort of dates he’d like to have with his hypothetical s/o or what he would do for them before being relentlessly teased by all of you.

So, in retrospect, him trying to confess through a pretty much evident symbol extracted from one of your favourite books was a very un-Shinichiro, Shinichiro thing to do, if that made any sense. 

“I think…I might’ve gaslit myself into believing it was a coincidence, didn't wanna get my hopes up.”

“I thought, I– I thought it was pretty obvious that I liked you.” He chuckled, scooting to the side in order to make more space for you to lay, next to him, the same you had done most of the days you had spent here. “Everybody knew I did.”

“Wait, really? I thought you were being friendly!” You let out a laugh, watching him soften up even more at your obliviousness and simultaneously hold back laughter of his own. “Don’t laugh at me! You were flirtier with Wakasa than with me!”

“You can’t blame me!” He finally laughed along with you, interlocking your fingers together and pulling you close until you were squished next to him, and waited for you to get comfortable before continuing his spiel. “Waka’s my best friend, we’ve always been like that, and you know it.” He nuzzled his cheek against your head, muttering the words in the quietest way possible, like he didn’t want to be heard by anyone but you. “Plus I couldn't flirt with you, I'd blush and cry afterwards.”

“Yeah, I’d’ve cried if you flirted with me as well.”

“Hey!”

“I mean it in a good way! Happy tears or whatever.” You sighed with a giddy grin, caressing his cheeks with the back of your hand before smushing them together, forcing a pout and giving him a quick peck on the lips. “I promise I’ll forever be in love with you.”

© 2023 SHINACHIRO ; Do not repost my work. Do not recommend my work outside of tumblr. Do not translate my work. affiliated with @tokyometronetwork

#shinichiro x reader #sano shinichiro x reader #shinichiro sano fluff #shinichiro fluff #sano shinichiro x you #shinichiro x you #tr fluff #tr x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #master collection. #tr collection. #shinichiro sano angst #shinichiro angst #tr angst #tokyo revengers angst #tw smoking #tw hospitals #tw anxiety #tw mentions of death

[writingforcuteppl]

bad idea, right? 

PAIRING: Ran Haitani x Reader

SUMMARY: Fucking the brother of the person you were in love was a bad idea, right?

GENRE: Smut, Angst.

WARNINGS: Swearing, manipulation (if you squint), pet names.

WORD COUNT: 1.4k words

“Fuck, just look at you. What would Rin think if he saw you like this?” Ran thrusted into you, making you whimper. “Getting fucked by his older brother. I bet he wouldn’t even want to see you ever again.” You cried out, and tears started to fall from your tears. You weren’t sure if it was because of the pleasure Ran was providing you every time he thrusted into you or because of his statement. 

He was right. Rindou will hate you if he finds out you fall for Ran’s schemes. That was something Rindou always made clear. No girl deserving of him will ever be with his brother. He, of course, loved and looked up to Ran, he’s his brother for fucks sake, but it was completely different when it came to girls.

“I hate so much, Ran,” you managed to say as you hit him on the chest with your fist, and Ran’s hand wrapped around your neck.

“Is that so? Well, your pussy tells me otherwise, princess.” you clenched around him after hearing the mocking pet name he gave you just to get on your nerves.

You were feeling dizzy. You really didn’t remember how you ended up in this position, getting fucked by Ran, but you really didn’t complain. Even if a part of you was feeling guilty since you were in love with the brother of the person who was giving you the fuck of your life.

“Bet he couldn’t fuck you like I’m doing it.” You didn’t pay attention to what he was saying.

You had this love-hate relationship with Ran. When he met you, he flirted with you, and maybe you flirted back, not knowing he was Rindou’s brother. This flirtatious relationship went on for a month—a month where you and Ran couldn’t stop talking and seeing each other. You were pretty sure if the two of you continued like that, Ran would have been your boyfriend by the end of the second month. Somehow, you just clicked. But you found out he was the brother of the person who you have been in love with for the past three years. A part of you thought you were definitely over Rindou. He only treated you as a friend, never showing any type of interest in a relationship. But then you realized that if you ever saw Rindou with someone else, well, that would have destroyed you. So you call it quits with Ran.

Ran was furious when you told him the person you were last in love with was his brother. Since then, Ran has completely changed his attitude towards you. But you couldn’t really blame him.

From booty calls to talking once in a while, Ran only saw you as something for him to use—a toy. A part of you knew you deserved better. The other part felt guilty, so you let him do whatever he wanted to you.

Even if you told yourself you were over the Haitani brothers, you couldn’t stop coming back to Ran. He was addictive. You needed the attention he gave you, even if that attention was pure hatred where Ran would treat you like you were only good at getting used. A part of you loved being used. It was like finding you were made for something. And Ran knew this. He knew being harsh with you was something you enjoyed. 

Ran’s hand tightened around your neck, bringing you back to the present.

“Where you..?” He hadn’t finished saying the sentence, but you somehow knew what he was about to say. “Where you thinking about Rin?” You tried shaking your head, but his hand didn’t even allow you to say something.

“You fucking whore. Don’t you get it? He won’t ever like you. I’m the only one for you. I’m the one that can treat you well.” He emphasized his words with each thrust, making you clench around his cock.

“I am the only one that can make you cum.” Ran’s hand went to your clit, stimulating it so you could cum faster.

“R-ran,” you felt a heavy weight on your chest. Maybe he was right. You never had this type of connection with someone else in your life. Not even with Rindou. Or at least that is what you thought. Ran always said the two of you were made for each other. A match made in heaven.Which made you feel even more guilty. You were pretty sure if you had met Ran before Rindou, you would’ve entirely fallen for Ran. 

“What is it, darling? Already gonna cum?” Each thrust sends shock waves through your whole body, making your breath hitch. 

“P- lease ‘an” you choked on your saliva. You were so close, and Ran knew it. He knows the way your hand grips whatever part of his body whenever you’re close, in this case, his wrist from the hand that was still around your neck, making Ran apply more pressure.

“That’s right, princess, cum around my cock, show me how good I’m making you feel,” Ran whispered in your ear.

You started to feel lightheaded. Ran couldn’t believe how beautiful you looked at that moment. Eyes rolled back, both hands on his wrist, and mouth opened, begging for air. You felt a wave of pleasure run through your body, making you stay still while you cum around him, clenching harder his cock. Ran stopped flicking your clit, chasing his orgasm, and after a few more thrusts, he groaned, milking your walls with his cum. 

“Fu-uck. Look at you. So fucking perfect for me,” Ran panted out as he slowly left a trail of kisses from your chest to all over your face.

He’s so in love with you, and he hates the fact that you met Rindou before him. It should’ve been him, not his brother. He knows he’s just way too mean with you, and he knows you feel guilty about not being in love with him, that he takes advantage of that, making him feel guilty.

But for him, it’s the only way to have you, even if it meant guilt-tripping you into making whatever the hell he wanted.

As you were searching for your clothes, Ran made his way to his closet, searching for some new clothes for him to put on, turning his back on you.

“You can go now,” he spitted out. Ran felt disgusted with himself. He always does. It appears that he only uses you for pleasure (which he does), but he hates being so cold afterwards.

You looked at him and shook your head. At this point, you were tired of his antics. He was always like this. All sweet and loving for one moment, but he could turn cold and distant at any moment. But again, you felt you deserved it. 

Holding back your tears, you exited his room, whispering “sorry” to him, hoping it would make him and you feel better. You needed to get out of there quickly. You had to stop this whole fuck-situation with Ran as soon as possible. It was only hurting the two of you. 

You didn’t realize someone was opening the front door since you were looking at the floor, and that’s when you bumped into that person. You felt both of his hands on your shoulders, trying to steady your whole body and prevent you from falling back.

“Woah, what the hell happened to you?” Rindou asked as soon as he saw tears falling down your cheeks. He didn’t understand why his heart hurt at the sight of you crying, but that wasn’t the important thing right now. “Did he do something to you?” Rindou was going to go directly to Ran’s room, but you stopped him in his tracks.

“Wait, no. It was me, Rin. I was the one that…” you stayed silent. If you actually explained what was happening and why you were crying, Rin would never want to see you again, and you could not afford that. Not when you were already hurting because you couldn’t love Ran the way he wanted to be loved by you. “You know what I can’t tell you right now.”  He observed your semblance and took notice of your messy hair. Something definitely happened between you and Ran.

Before Rindou could say anything else, you started to walk again as fast as possible, evading his gaze and surrounding him so you could exit his house quickly.

“WAIT!” Rindou didn’t even realize when you managed to escape from his grip, but he couldn’t even process what was happening. He realized he wouldn’t be able to get any information from you, so he let you go and made his way to Ran’s room.

He was going to find you what happened between the girl he’s in love with and his brother, even if his heart gets broken in the process.

n a v i g a t i o n

t o k y o  r e v e n g e r s  m a s t e r l i s t

#tokyo revengers smut #tokyo rev smut #tr smut #ran smut #ran haitani smut #haitani smut #ran x reader #ran haitani x reader #ran #ran haitani #tokyo revengers angst #tokyo rev angst #tr angst #ran angst #ran haitani angst #haitani angst #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers ran #tokyo rev ran #tr ran #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo rev imagines #tr imagines #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tr x reader

[manjibunny]

Pretty When You Cry

Synopsis: Everything seemed to go so well for you and your best friend, Chifuyu, until you discovered your feelings for him...

C/W: Angst, no comfort, friendship breakup, mentions of gang fights and wounds, mentions of death (no one dies tho), imagery from Greek mythology if you squint, messy as hell, reader is emotionally unavailable and doesn't know how to deal with their feelings, Chifuyu deserves better :/ W/C: 4k + words A/N: Welp, off to a good start in the new year. As previously mentioned in a post, this fic took me a good while to finish. This fic is basically me reflecting on a situation that occured many, many years ago. I was so foolish to destroy something great in favor of keeping my heart safe, but today I'm old enough to know that love is a complicated thing, even if it's just platonic. Tagging luvs @avatarofstars @kokonoiscoconut @nanamikentoseyebags (look, this is the fic I rambled to you months ago!)

Glossary: 

Moira = Also known as the fates; Greek goddesses of fate

Atropos = Greek for “unalterable”/ “inflexible”: one of the three Moira; the goddess that cuts the thread (symbolizes life), making her the one that decides ones inevitable fate 

Love is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Stalking its prey and disguising itself as an innocent feeling of adoration, it lulls you into a false sense of security. It’s a soft voice in your head that gently whispers to you, advising, begging, demanding you to lower the walls you’ve built around your heart.

“It’s ok” It’ll whisper to you in an encouraging voice “It’s ok to lower your guard. It’s ok to feel vulnerable. It’s only human that you want to love and be loved”

You were 15 years old when you caved, and you caved for none other than Chifuyu Matsuno. 

You wouldn’t have looked twice his way if the circumstances were different.To you he was a troublemaker, someone you’d forget about after graduating highschool. But just like in a classical Greek drama, the Moira already sealed your fate, dooming you to fall right into Chifuyus warm embrace. At the darkest time of your life, he was the sole candle that illuminated the night of your melancholy. His light helped you navigate and keep the demons of the night away. In a way, Chifuyu was your personal safe haven. 

Befriending Chifuyu felt like finally putting the last piece into the puzzle. But no matter how strong a bond is, if the Gods demand the ties to be severed, so it be…

Your lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Not being used to running this much, your legs began hurting as you stormed through the familiar streets. You ignored the voice calling not too far behind you, begging you to stop, to return to him, to talk to him goddamnit. You ignored the pain that shoots through your legs with every step you take and his desperate cries. Your heart thudded against your ribcage as you finally arrived at your destination: Your home, your fortress. You shakily searched for the keys of your home, taking them out of your pocket. Thank God, you found your keys just in time. You swiftly opened the door and entered, not looking back as you slammed the door a bit too loudly behind you. Once you entered your home, you slumped down right before the door, not even bothering to turn on the lights. With trembling hands you brought your knees closer to yourself. Engulfed in the darkness of your home, you were left alone with the memories of Chifuyu Matsuno, the man that the fates have tied you to. 

Memories of golden days rushed through your brain. Memories of sitting next to Chifuyu in a cute cafe near your university. You and him have been friends for a while now, not imagining what life would be without the other. 

“Look what I’ve found at the bookstore” Chifuyu mused excitedly, “It’s a manga I used to read back in highschool!”

You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend “Wow, and here I thought you would start reading real literature” You giggled before taking a sip of your coffee. 

“This is real literature! Ai Yazawa knows how to write compelling, and most importantly, real characters. Take this manga for instance-” He scooted closer to you, taking the manga out of his backpack before opening it. Being so close to him, smelling his fresh cologne that he recently started to use, and seeing the excited glint in his eyes as he got ready to rave about the manga, made you feel at ease. Without knowing it, Chifuyu would always calm your nerves. 

You took a look at the opened manga on the table. Inside you saw beautifully drawn panels. As you took a closer look, you noted that the characters have been drawn very detailed. You especially took note of the extravagant jewelry.

“This manga -” Chifuyu pointed at a panel of two women sitting on what appeared to be a dining table.

“- covers so many serious topics. It covers romance, breakups, loss, grief, loneliness, and much much more!” he sighs “Listen, I know you might think this is silly, but I really want to reread this manga series with you because I feel like you could relate with the characters.”

Humming, you gently took the manga from Chifuyus light grip, your hand lightly brushing against his. You inspected the manga closer, flipping through the pages and skimming through the speech bubbles sporadically before closing it. Upon closing the manga, you teasingly side-eyed your best friend.

“‘Nana’? Really?” You chuckled as you handed the manga back to him.

“I heard of this manga. Man, I wouldn’t have thought that you’d be into that” sighing, you continued your teasing remarks. “Who would have thought?Just when I thought I knew everything about you, I’m learning something new” 

Chifuyu flushed at your taunts. He took the manga back and brought it close to his chest.

“I know, I know. Who would have thought that a feared gangster would be into that stuff”

“Feared? You’re Chifuyu Matsuno, not Sano Manjirou”

Throwing a glare at you, you knew this was Chifuyus way of asking you to shut up. You chuckled at Chifuyus blushing angry face. Adorable, you thought to yourself as you took another sip from your coffee. 

“I’m just joking. If ‘Nana’ is so important to you, I’m willing to give it a shot” You grinned at him “But we need to find the Saturn shaped earrings. I don’t know much about the plot, but I can tell these characters got style”

Bittersweet memories of you and Chifuyu sitting side by side in silence reading his favorite manga shot through your head. You’d discuss the themes with him, but most importantly, the jewelry of the manga. As it turned out the Saturn shaped earrings were made by the real life designer brand Vivienne Westwood, and staying true to your words, you dragged Chifuyu to a department store that sells Vivienne Westwwod pieces. 

You remember entering the department store and being met with the smell of expensive perfumes and the bright colors of designer bags. As you walked further and further into the store, mesmerized by the sheer luxury money could buy, you finally spotted the familiar logo that you’ve been looking for. You grabbed Chifuyus arm and began moving closer to the Vivienne Westwood stand, excitedly pointing at it. 

“Fuyu, look! We found it!”

You remember him chuckling at you,  you remember the way his eyes sparkled in amusement. But more importantly,  you remember forgetting for a second about the earrings upon gazing into his eyes. A wave of emotions so sweet rolled over you, you swore you were drowning in honey. Or perhaps you were drowning in the oceans of his eyes? Brilliant turquoise pools  that seemed to drag you deeper and deeper into them, and for the first time in your life, drowning didn’t seem so scary anymore. 

Either way, Chifuyu managed to take your breath away that day. 

Your hand felt heavy as you mustered up all the strength to lift it to your ear. The metal saturn in your lobe, the earring you and Chifuyu got, felt so cold against your fingertips as the memories kept on replaying. 

As it turned out, the earrings were way above your budget. Staring at the rhinestone encrusted studs, your mind began to crank the numbers. 

“If I save up, I might get these earrings… in about three months”, you muttered under your breath mindlessly, eyes still focused on the price tag of the earrings you wanted to wear for so long. 

You remember Chifuyu Chifuyu placing his hand on your shoulder and smiling warmly at you. 

“You know, I always wanted us to have a friendship bracelet…” He trailed off, looking at you expectantly. The gleam in his eyes tells you that Chifuyu is trying to say something, hinting at something that you should understand. 

“Yeah? What does that have to do with the earrings?” You bluntly stated, oblivious to his effort to get you to understand what he was trying to say.

“Dummy, you should stop hanging out with Baji-san. His stupidity is rubbing off on you” Chifuyu teased. 

“Hey! Now that is insulting, you know? I’m way smarter than he is” You rolled your eyes at your best friend, feeling irked at being lumped into the same category as your dumbass friend, Baji. You were about to bark back an insult about his stupidly round face, or his dumb, edgy hair from middle school, literally anything, just to shut him up. However, knowing how you get defensive, Chifuyu cut you off, not letting you insult him.

“What I was trying to say was, we could also have friendship earrings. You pay for one earring, and I for the other.” 

You were left speechless. Chifuyu’s words hit you like a brick, the meaning behind them slowly sinking in. He would pay half the price for the earrings that you wanted so desperately… 

The sweet gesture makes you feel fuzzy deep inside. He knew how much you wanted the earrings, so he wanted to make sure you got at least one earring. So thoughtful of him, he cares for his friends a lot… Warmth spread across your body, as you met Chifuyu’s seafoam eyes gazing softly at you. You could make out his trademark smile and a pink hue grazing his face. For the first time, Chifuyu looked different to you. 

Side eying the price tag, you were brought back to reality.  These earrings were still expensive, even if Chifuyu paid half the price. You didn’t want him to spend his money on you, especially on jewelry. 

“You don’t have to-”

“I insist. Besides it’s not like you’re getting the earrings to yourself. We’ll share”

“Still, I would like to-”

“Listen” , Chifuyu cut you off mid sentence once again.

“I will get you the earrings one way or another. If we walk out without the earrings today, I will come back and get the earrings another time. I know how much you want them, so please, let me at least help you out”

Your stomach churned, Chifuyu’s words hitting you right in your heart. Trying to be annoyed at him turned out to be futile, his stubbornness and insistence on getting the earrings made you feel appreciated. You meant a lot to him, and Chifuyu would go out of his way to prove to you that you are dear to him. 

You sighed, giving up on all your counterarguments to stop Chifuyu from his plan. 

“Fine, but promise me you’ll always wear your earring, ok?”

Chifuyu grinned victoriously at you, his hand reaching to find yours as he softly pulled you towards the counter.

“Of course. I just want to see you happy”

Walking out of the store, you and Chifuyu wore the earrings.  You wearing your earring on your right ear, and him wearing his earring on his left ear, you walked through the busy streets of Tokyo in silence. Still unable to comprehend how Chifuyu was able to convince you to have friendship earrings - expensive designer friendship earrings no less - you racked your brain on how you’d thank him. To your surprise, Chifuyu took the initiative. 

“The earring suits you a lot. I’m glad I can share this experience with you”

“Gosh Chifuyu, ever the charmer” You teased back, trying to play it cool. He didn’t need to know that his loving words were your kryptonite. 

“Oh, I know I’m charming” Chifuyu chuckles as he stops and attempts to tuck your hair behind your ear to look at the earring. 

“But I mean it. The earring suits you a lot; you bring out its beauty” Chifuyu gazed into your eyes “I love that we share the pair, you know? Now everyone will know that we are two halves of one whole”

You rolled your eyes at him, your heart beating faster and heat spreading across your face as you heard the latter part. 

“You are such a sap, Fuyu. This is why Kazutora and Baji make fun of you” 

“Hey!”

Chifuyu took his promise seriously; he never took off his earring. He knew how important it was for you to see the shining silver metal on him, and wearing the earring meant to him to commit to you and your friendship. 

Sitting on the cold floor of your apartment, you remembered how your friendship turned into something different, into something that scared you.

As time went on, the boundaries between friendship and romance seemed to blur, and your feelings for your supposed best friend seemed to get more confusing. You found yourself daydreaming about the blonde man, worrying about his well-being and wondering who he's hanging out with when he wasn’t with you. Was he with Baji? The gang? With someone else? Someone prettier? 

You’d have to snap yourself out of your thoughts on numerous occasions. What was going on with you? Why the hell did you think about Chifuyu possibly going out on dates, and why did it break your heart? 

One particular event seemed to open your eyes to what you felt towards Chifuyu, your best friend. 

Worry filled you as the nth text went unanswered. A wave of dread washed over you as the alarms went off in your head after remembering that Chifuyu was supposed to be in one of the shadiest parts of Tokyo, bashing some punk's head. Or getting his head bashed by some punk…

Remembering the way you were practically on your knees, your hands clasped together as you prayed to any God and entity that came to your mind, was bittersweet to you. God, you loved him more than you respect yourself. And you still do. 

You remembered that the only thing that was able to stop your uncontrollable sobbing was the familiar sound of your doorbell ringing. Chifuyu…

It was truly remarkable how you were able to sense the person behind your front door was none other than your best friend.  One moment, you were a sobbing mess on the floor, and the next, you were a sobbing mess at the door. You remember throwing yourself into the arms of a barely standing Chifuyu, almost knocking him off his feet. Tears soaked his already dirty gang uniform, but neither of you cared. All that mattered to you was that he was in your arms in one piece, alive and breathing. 

Chifuyu held you tight. Seemingly having forgotten about his own painful bruises, he softly stroked your tear stricken cheek, cooing reassuringly to you as you felt his warm embrace engulf you. 

“It’s fine” Chifuyu would whisper “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere” He knew you so well. He knew you would worry after not responding to any calls or messages, too busy to fight alongside his friends to pick up his phone, so Chifuyu mustered up the little energy he had left and limped to your home. As realization hit you, you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter. You still shook in his arms, tears still falling down your eyes, but for a different reason.

You couldn’t deny it any longer: You were hopelessly in love with Chifuyu, and that fact alone made you unable to sleep. The memories still fresh in your mind of you rolling around in your bed, trying to find fault in the blonde man. You didn’t want to love him as much as you did, so trying to fall out of love seemed like a viable option. You thought hard of his stupid face when he read his favorite manga. But he looks so cute. His crazy devotion to his friends, he would do the most reckless things just to help. But he is so loyal and loving. You thought about his lame jokes, which you still laughed about because how could you not? No matter the way you looked at him, Chifuyu seemed beyond perfect, too good, in your eyes. With a defeated sigh, you gave up trying to find anything wrong with Chifuyu. There wasn’t anything wrong with him.

As time went on, the feelings you’ve been fighting so hard wouldn’t leave. Like a wolf stalking its prey, it was always a step right behind you, breathing right into your neck as it waited to swallow you whole. You feared loving Chifuyu, but you feared not loving Chifuyu as well. 

So you withdrew from Chifuyu. Despite the stabbing pain you felt inside your heart as whenever you saw the disappointed and saddened face from the blonde whenever you’d decline hanging out with him, you knew that you had to stay away from him. Maybe the feelings would fade away on their own? You kept trying to tell yourself that loving Chifuyu wasn’t an option. It was either get your feelings under control or never see Chifuyu again. Guilty thoughts spread in your mind and followed you to your sleep, making you unable to rest. How could you ever think about leaving Chifuyu like that? 

But oh, the Gods above must be laughing at the spectacle, wheezing as your mind was clouded by the fear of committing. At last, overwhelmed by the dread and lack of sleep, no clear thought was formed as you confronted Chifuyu one last time, to cut the string that connected you two. Everything was a blur, you could barely remember the exact words you uttered to your now ex best friend, but one thing you could never forget, and that was his face. You remember clearly his eyes shooting wide as your words sunk in, his eyebrows knitting together. Chifuyu opened his mouth, to ask you, no, to beg you to stay, but you were unable to look him in the eye with a clear conscience. So you ran to your home. 

A loud bang behind you brought you back to reality. Of course Chifuyu wouldn’t just accept defeat. He’d do anything to get you back. 

“Please, let’s just talk it out!” Chifuyu demanded behind your door, the banging on the door not faltering. He’s going to hurt himself, you thought, wanting to open the door, and bandage his throbbing hands. In another life, you’d profusely apologize for even thinking about abandoning Chifuyu. In another life, you’d have the courage to face the hungry wolf and allow it to consume you; you’d embrace the beast that was love and come to the understanding that love’s bite isn’t as painful as you originally thought. In another life, you’d give love a chance. But fate is anything but nice, and now you have to suffer through the consequences of throwing away your friendship.

You clasped your hand over your mouth, muffling the sobbing to the best of your abilities. Tears streamed down your face, and judging by the shakiness of Chifuyu’s pleas, you weren’t the only one crying. 

“I know you’re listening to me, so please, I can’t just let you cut ties with me like that! Talk to me, we can fix whatever is bothering you!”

And God knows the cruelest answer to the begging of a broken hearted man is silence. But how could you respond when your mind is so loud? Every fiber in your body was screaming, demanding you to answer Chifuyu, to ask for forgiveness and pour your hearts out on him, but you couldn’t allow yourself to open the door. So you didn’t answer him, forcing yourself to remain quiet as the man behind your door couldn’t admit defeat just yet. 

“Please, we can even pretend this never happened. I just need you to talk to me”, Chifuyus voice trembled, still of the opinion that his words full of agony could reach you. You had to finally end it, so you took a deep breath to calm yourself. Collecting the little energy that you had left, you were sent the final blow that burned the bridges. 

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” your words dripping with poison, you projected the disgust you felt towards yourself onto Chifuyu.

“Can’t you see that I just don’t want to be around you? Things have changed, Chifuyu, so be a fucking adult about it and accept my decision”

And with that, the knocking stopped and Chifuyu remained quiet. You held your own breath as you felt regret wash over you. You said way too much. Your words so mean and hateful, words you didn’t even mean, have effectively broken Chifuyu’s will and heart. The silence became so overbearing that you assumed he might have left already, until you heard his voice right behind your door.

“I’m sorry you had to put up with me. I know that it must have been hard for you to make this decision, but you have every right to end our friendship if it feels wrong to you. I accept and respect it, I really do, although it pains me to let you go like that” Chifuyu stayed silent for a moment, his voice still shaky when he continued “I will always treasure the time that I have spent with you. And despite the way that you’ve decided to end it…. I can’t hate you. Goodbye”

And just like that, Chifuyu left and took a piece of your heart with him. You felt numb, never having anticipated that you’d lose yourself in the process of letting go of Chifuyu. It’s for the better, you tried to tell yourself, but your broken heart knew better. Your attempt at standing up failed, your legs and arms weren’t able to carry you to your bedroom, so you remained seated on the cold floor, your back still pressed against your door. Before you knew it, sleep had taken over you, kidnapping you to a time and place much merrier. 

Dreaming of gleaming seafoam eyes contorted in pain as tears rolled down his rosy cheeks, you couldn’t even escape Chifuyu in your sleep, but oh, he still looked so pretty to you. You wanted to reach out to him so desperately, but you just couldn’t move. You didn’t even have the chance to admire him any longer, as a knock on the door awoke you from your slumber. Groaning, you cursed at the person that had woken you up. Grumbling, you managed to stand up with shaky legs. The person behind the door seemed eager, the knocking not seeming to end anytime soon. So, you opened the door to see an empty hallway. Were you imagining things? Have you gone insane at this point? Or did someone play a childish prank on you? 

Feeling fed up, you attempted to slam the door shut, however, something was blocking it from closing. You saw a small package from a familiar online retailer and mentally slapped yourself. Of course you’d get whatever you’ve ordered at the worst time possible. Bending down, you stretched your arms to pick up the package, until you spotted something silver on your doormat. All thoughts about the package left your mind as you inspected the shiny object, already dreading what it was. 

In your hand, you held a small saturn shaped earring, the perfect twin to the one you were wearing. 

“No”, you breathed out, as your suspicions got confirmed. The silver Vivienne Westwood earring Chifuyu wore as a symbol for your friendship. He must have taken it off and placed it on the doormat after I demanded he’d leave… You knew that this was ultimately what you wanted, cutting contact with Chifuyu to fall out of love, but holding the symbol of your friendship in your hand was a special kind of pain. 

So you took the earring inside, having forgotten about the package, and went to your bedroom. Heading to grab your jewelry box, you placed the Chifuyu’s earring inside. With a heavy heart, your hands moved to your ear, slowly taking off your own earring and placing it right beside the other one. You knew this was the right thing to do, after all, at least the earrings could be a perfect pair together.

#chifuyu matsuno #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu angst #ghostqueues #chifuyu x reader angst #tokyo revengers chifuyu #tr chifuyu #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers angst #tokyo revengers x reader angst #tr x reader #tr angst #chifuyu matsuno x reader

[mvteria]

x. one too many

series masterlist

a/n: ITS BEEN TOO LONG HAHA

tags (if your name is in bold i cannot tag you): @idontevenknow129 @noohpais @alicezottis @bontensbabygirl @galactict3a @yuistan @leviandarminfavscout @boi-bi-ahaha @cupidlot @cridtiins @zanashair @beomeomgyu @xeno-fond @msameikanevaeh @k——a27s @ryomenswife @rinsie @jisvno @kokos-property @ciphersden

#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev fluff #tokyo rev angst #tr fluff #tr angst #rindou angst #rindou fluff #tokyo rev smau #tokyo revengers smau #tr smau #rindou haitani fluff #rindou haitani angst #rindou haitani smau

[soubi122]

I recently read your ran X reader angst fanfic and I was mesmerized by the way you had heartbreak smut and emotion on such a fine line. (⁠ ⁠･ั⁠﹏⁠･ั⁠)

I have been thinking about a teen Ran (w braids) X reader angst based on Constant Repeat by Charlie XCX. Along the lines of him being with the reader but not appreciating her fully.

So maybe one time after them getting it on in his room Y/N is met w Rin, Sanzu (or whoever you want that Ran gets on with) chilling in the living room and Ran gets too cocky/describing Y/N as no more as a side chick to him and she breaks it off with him as she is really hurt by him denying their blooming relationship. Ran after deflecting his emotions realizes that he is in love with the reader and tries to prove it to her but is he too late ?

Sorry if this is very long >< if you don't feel up to it no worries, take care of yourself and thank you for your writing! :D

Hello Love! I'm so sorry it look me long time to get this together. Hope you like it!

Warnings: No minors, minors DNI, smut, angst, Ran's had such an ego, did i miss anything?

A little too late.

Love wasn’t something that lingered too long on your mind but when you met him - it was a thing that was on constant repeat. 

You met Ran Haitani when he was out with his younger brother Rindou, both were just strutting around the streets of Roppongi as if they owned the place (if you only knew then what you knew now). What started as an innocent rivalry between two strangers at a festival - ended up with you dating the charismatic eldest Haitani. The festival you were attending was filled with all sorts of booths and games. A shooting gallery had a giant orange and white eel stuffed animal up for grabs, it made you want to win it and you were not going to let anyone stop you from taking it. You exclaimed loudly to your friends that you were aiming for that eel, unbeknown to you - you were on someone’s radar. 

“(Y/N)! That thing is so ugly, you really want that?” Your friend exhales and droops her head, she knew you were going to win it. It was already embarrassing enough to say you wanted it, but to actually win it and carry it around with you - ugh she was not ready for that. “Alright little lady, if you can take out all 10 targets - you can choose any of the big stuffies.” The booth attendant said and handed you a BB rifle gun. You were testing your aiming and warming up. The first three shots missed and you realized that the barrel had a slight curve that was purposefully made to throw off your aiming. A snicker from next to you made you turn your head to see who was taunting you. Next to you was a tall male with black and blonde braided pigtails. He was handsome and made butterflies in your stomach. “Here you ya go, 10 shots and you get to pick any one of the big stuffies.” The attendant said and handed him a rifle. “Aniki (兄貴), you’re not seriously getting that ridiculous thing are you?” A second male said as he crossed his arms, he was shorter than the man next to you - he had mid length blonde hair and had both sides of his head shaved. Their eyes looked similar, could they be related?

Wait! What is he aiming for? You thought and turned to look at the man next to you. He was smirking at you and raised his eyebrows up to the stuffed eel. When you connected the two, your facial reaction was enough to make him laugh. You pouted and furrowed your eyebrows, it was game on. You hit 5 of 10, no prize for you. Hearing the BB gun go off next to you made you turn around, he wasn’t even leaning in like everyone else, his arm was extended with the rifle pointing at the targets. He had already knocked out 6 targets. You groaned and he gave you the coyest side eye. “Let’s go (Y/N). You lost…” Your friend said and was about to grab your wrist but you slammed some more money on the counter. “I’m not leaving without that eel.” You said and locked eyes with the tall man. “Oh no…” Your friend said and covered her face, she knew you were picking a fight with the man next to you. 

Getting in position, you bent over and leaned into the rifle - the curve of your ass made the male take a glance and he accidently fired off a round, missing the target completely. “Ran, you missed, you won’t get that stupid thing now.” The other male said and also took a peek at your position. So that was his name, Ran. Hmm…seems fitting for a pretty boy. Resetting the targets, the attendant took more cash from Ran, he was going to try again. Only this time, he got closer to you and your nose could pick up the scent of his cologne. After each shot, he inched closer and closer. 7 out 10, you were so close to getting that eel! Aiming for that 8th target, you were about to fire but Ran decided to ‘accidentally’ brush up against you, causing you to squeak and miss the target. “Oh come on!” You yelled and turned to look at him. “All is fair in love and war…” He said, his tone was deep and made goosebumps on your skin. He sounded much more attractive…wait what? What the hell did he just say? You ask yourself when you realized what he said. What the hell does this have to do with what he just said? Leave it to a Haitani to say something completely random, in their head it makes perfect sense.

When he adjusted his aim, you stretched your arms up and out, ‘accidently’ tugging his braid. It made his arm twitch and he missed his shot. He turned to look at you, “Now that’s playing dirty.” The smug grin you had on your face made him realize that you weren’t going to be a pushover. “I thought all was fair in love and war or whatever it is that you said?” You retorted and put your hands on your hips. “Fine…if I win - I’m taking that eel and you.” It was like a record scratch in a sitcom, what did he just say? “Me? Why me?” You question him as your face becomes dusted in pink.  “Does it matter?” He retorted and it made you furrow your eyebrows. That was rather rude, besides - you don’t even know each other. Sensing your resistance, Ran leaned in to whisper in your ear. “I wanna get to know ya…that and I like how feisty you are.” Your features softened and your eyes reflected innocence, something that he was not expecting. You thought he was going to say something about your body but he seemed genuinely interested in you, oh how he wooed you. Needless to say that you both were trying your hardest to win. 

The shooting gallery game ended up with you as the victor when the attendant announced a tie breaker. Both you and Ran had hit all 10 targets and the tiebreaker was who could hit the single target in the far back of the booth. You hit the target but fearing Ran will also hit the target you stood on your tippy toes to whisper in his ear that you wanted the eel as a body pillow - that you could only sleep with something between your legs at night. It caused him to miss, he almost ended up shooting the attendant. You cheered and jumped up and down as you were announced the victor. The way your chest bounced had both brothers and other males staring at you in awe. You looked like a child on Christmas when the attendant handed you the eel. The sweet smile on your face gave them butterflies. “So, how about I take you out to dinner? Can’t go home empty handed, right?” You say while smiling at Ran. He could have sworn he saw a halo above your head with all the lights in the background. 

Months were spent going on dates, doing things that seemed mundane any other time but seemed like a blessing with him and slowly tearing down walls that were almost impossible to climb. Though you weren't sure if Ran was serious, you held back sleeping with him until you thought you were ready. You were falling deeper and deeper into an abyss. Make out sessions ended with you fighting with yourself - Ran was getting close to having you surrender to him. His touch was like fire, he kept setting you off like napalm. There was a time when you were close to letting him strip you but a call interrupted the moment and he had to take his leave. Other times you were giving him quickies with your hands, the way he praised you as you stroked him almost made you take a taste. Dry humping and each other's hands weren't enough anymore, you wanted to feel him but when was the right moment to give in?

The little things that he would do for you, they were things that a boyfriend would do and you asked him out of the blue - his answer was enough to let your guard down. “You’re my girl, what else would you be?” He would say and lean in to kiss you and tell you sweet nothings. Telling you how you made him feel things that he’s never felt before, things that a special someone would make him feel - you were his and he was yours. Ran was in constant repeat on your mind - your feelings were blooming and it was driving you insane. How much longer could you last without telling him that you were falling in love with him? But was love something he believed in?

“Come here gorgeous…” Ran says as he extends his hand out to you, inviting you into his room. Rindou was at the gym with a friend and you both had the house all to yourselves. “I don't know Ran, Rindou might come back any minute…” You hesitated but still reached out to him. The smirk on his face as he pulled you in made you giggle - he always gave you that look before making you melt. 

The moment the door closed, he lifted you and you wrapped your legs around his waist. I think…this is it. You think to yourself and lean in to press delicate kisses on his lips. “Ran…” You whisper into the kiss and he hums in response. “I’m ready…” You say with a blushing face. His coy smirk made your heart skip a beat. He has patience and his patience is about to pay off. Slowly and gently, he lays you down on his bed and begins to trail kisses from your lips to your neck. His hands were roaming your body and tugging at the hem of shirt. Within minutes your clothes were scattered along his bedroom floor, seeing Ran’s body on full display made pools of honey between your legs. Those gorgeous tattoos that adorned the left side of his chest and back - they trailed from his collarbone down to his wrist and down his leg.

Both of you being bare was throwing your focus off. Ran’s eyes were scanning every inch of your body, savoring how your chest rose up and down, the quivering of your thighs and the glossy look in your eyes. Though he’s touched you before and you’ve explored each other's body - this was the first time going all the way with you. Finally, he was going to have a taste of heaven. 

Ran began to lower himself, trailing your body with gentle kisses, hungry hands roamed the valley of your chest. He could feel how your heart was pounding against your chest and the shakiness of your breath. Placing his mouth over your nipple, he began to flick his tongue over the hardened bud - the warm and cool sensations drew breathy moans from your lips. The moment he latched on, his right hand massaged the other mound - rolling and pinching the nub. He was being gentle, not wanting to look as if he was starved from human touch, he was taking his time to make your body feel things you’ve never felt before. “...so perfect.” He whispered against your skin and left light purple marks on the sensitive flesh. “Ran…” You whimpered into his touch, the throbbing of your core was becoming unbearable. Lithe hands reach for him and guide his hands south between your thighs. 

Long slender fingers glide between your folds, collecting the slick - making you bite your lip in anticipation. Ran slid two fingers in and smirked at how your walls contracted, he wondered if he’d even be able to fit himself inside you. “You’re so wet dollface…” His eyes look up at you, drinking in the blissed out expression and hazy scene had him also aching for attention. The way he curled his fingers as he slid in and out made you roll your hips into his touch. Your mind was muddled with desire that you couldn’t even think straight. Everywhere he touched it added more fuel to the fire. He was reaching deeper than your dainty hands could, how many times have you felt unsatisfied by being unable to reach that golden spot that made you see stars? He was determined to tease you, almost edging you for minutes on end. Every thrust of his fingers had your chest pounding and it could be heard from Ran’s position, you were so close - just a little more and you’d be seeing the white pearly gates. He slowed his pace and heard you whimper, “Getting close are we?” Your walls clenched around his finger in response to his question. 

He dipped down and nuzzled his face between your thighs making you squeak. Nibbling on your inner thighs he inched closer and closer to your dripping core. The warmth of his tongue licking your clit made your body twitch. It felt like you were gasping for air when he began to suck on your bundle of nerves. It was a deadly combination that had your hands gripping the back of his head and shifting your hips to get more friction. The fire in your belly was spreading and fast. Ran's left hand reached up to graze your lips, gently sticking two fingers in your mouth. The reaction was immediate, your tongue wrapped itself around the digits - sucking and moaning as he reached deep inside you. “I need you (Y/N)...” The longing and sweetness in Ran's voice made something snap inside you, you didn’t know what to hold on to. Heavily panting and gripping the bed sheets, your body was burning and the unmistakable sensation running down your spine - your essence coated his tongue and fingers. Repeating his name over and over again as your high reached its peak - he couldn’t help but rut his hips into the mattress. 

Lapping every drop, he felt as if he was intoxicated - you were already alluring but your core was bewitching him. He was almost sure that if you were to ask him to kill for you, he'd do it in a heartbeat if it meant he could dive back into your honeypot. Ran barely gave you a moment to catch your breath, he hovered over you and crashed his lips onto yours. He wanted you to taste yourself, for you to feel what he felt - he wanted more. Your tongues danced, with Ran taking the lead he guided your arms and made you wrap them around his neck. It was in preparation for his next move. Being perfectly positioned between your thighs, he prodded his tip in your core and made you gasp - he did not break the kiss. Your body was writhing underneath him as his cock bullied its way in. The deeper he went the more you were struggling to breathe. 

Finally, when he bottomed out he let you suck air back into your lungs. Both of you were panting, sweating and on the verge of drowning in pleasure. “I-fuck-it hurts.” You say with a hint of pain on your tongue. Ran was struggling to move, as much as he wanted to reel his hips back and fuck you - he didn't want to hurt you. “Is this your first time?” He asks while placing gentle kisses on your lips and cheek to try and sooth you. You shake your head no, it's not your first time but he made it feel like it was. “Breathe baby… focus on my voice.” His low and husky tone was calming your nerves as he did slow and shallow thrusts. To feel this full was a first - not even your personal toys could compare to him. You could feel every throb, every vein and your walls clenched around him. Ran was splitting you in half. 

The pressure between your thighs was immense but his gentle peace was slowly bringing back the pleasure. “Ngh…I'm-oh God!” You couldn't even finish your sentence, his tip was kissing your cervix and making you dizzy. The sparks were beginning to fly. Each time he would pull out, he would reel his hips farther back and thrust back in quicker. He was making your eyes roll back into your skull. Stuttering and panting you spoke, “R-Ran, please…m-more! I want more!” Your request made him smirk and sit up on his knees. The magic words he wanted to hear rang in his ears. 

He slung your legs over his shoulder and leaned in, shifting his weight to his knees then began to thrust harder and faster. Your whole body was quivering with the amount of pressure on your hips and core. The coil was winding again, it was like he was shooting electricity into your veins. Ran repeatedly slammed his hips into you making you moan loudly and cry out his name. To share this with anyone else felt wrong but with him everything felt so right. This moment meant everything to you. A numbing sensation began to creep up your spine and made your toes curl. His husky and low moans were like music to your ears and bringing you closer to the edge. “You feel so good.” Praising you like this made the butterflies in your stomach run rampant. “Fuck, (Y/N). You're gonna make me lose it if you keep clenching like that.” Ran stuttered and picked up his pace. His coil was close to snapping, just the sight of you in this position was enough to throw him over the edge. He's waited for so long to be able to sink into you. Those breathy moans and cries of his name - no one came close to how you made him feel. It was heaven, you were heaven to him.

The unmistakable sensation clawing up your spine had you babbling incoherently signaling your release. Your vision went white as your velvet walls clenched around him, coating his length with your juices and throwing him over the edge. His pace became sloppy as his hips kept snapping against you, almost bruising you. Ran's husky moans get louder as he fills you to the brim. You could feel how he throbbed with each spurt of white ropes that coated your walls. Both of you were left heaving and desperate for air. He rolled over and reached for some clean up items. This man really gave you every last drop of cum and you took it all. “I need to close my eyes for a bit…don’t mind me.” You say while grinning from ear to ear, he drained every ounce of energy you had in just one round. He smirked and placed a kiss on your forehead. “This is the first time I’ve been drained after…you know…” You say softly and bury your face into his chest. “After what? Making love?” You giggled softly and nodded, he said love making - so this was more than just sex. The sound of his heart beating had you falling deeper and deeper into a blissful sleep. Within a matter of minutes Ran drifted with you.

After about 30 minutes, Rindou came home but he wasn’t alone. The apartment was extremely quiet, a little too quiet for his liking. “Your brother is probably sleeping, leave him be or else he might just kick us out in only our underwear.” The person with him said. The other male was tall and had a scar running from the back right side of head crossing his left eye. He was not only gym buddies with Rindou but also a close friend to Ran. Both of them sat in the living room just relaxing, planning their next gym meet and other business involving Tenjiku. A few minutes passed by and the sound of Ran’s bedroom door opening made them turn their heads in fear. Oh no, were they too loud? Was Ran going to be in a bad mood? Was Rindou going to have to hide in the bathroom again?

Ran emerged from his bedroom, he was smirking and slowly walking to the living room where the other two were. “You’re in a good mood.” Rindou said as he prepared to get chewed out by a sleep deprived Ran. But the older Haitani just shook his head and lazily plopped down on the couch. “You’re kind of scaring me…” Rindou said, but Ran just kept that smirk plastered on his face. “Kakucho, I think there is something wrong with Ran.” Kakucho, the male with the scars, only chuckled when he caught a glimpse of your figure while sleeping in Ran’s bed. The door was open enough for him to see into the room, Rindou leaned over and saw you in bed. “You finally got laid?” Rindou asked as he looked at Ran. Ran has been talking about it non stop, he was waiting for you to give in - to let him have a taste of heaven but you were always a little defensive about it or the timing wasn’t right. Seeing him settle was a win for the younger Haitani. 

The sound of people chattering woke you from your slumber, turning over to see an empty bed, your eyes darted towards the open door. You quietly shift off the bed, wrapping the sheets around yourself and walking closer to the doorway. You wanted to pop your head out the door but the conversation they were having made you freeze in place. “So it’s official then? She’s your girlfriend?” Rindou asked with a shit eating grin, it wasn’t like Ran to be patient with women nor to even chase after one for so long. You could feel the blush creep up your face and your ears felt hot. Of course, it was kind of a given that you two were an item or a couple. He would call you his girl, his babe - his. Hearing Ran affirm it would make you feel gleeful. “Heh…now why would you say such a stupid thing?” For a minute you weren’t sure who was speaking, but that tone of voice - it was Ran. His inflated ego was beyond understanding. “Wait, she’s not?” Kakucho asked, the concept of a relationship was new to him and he’s never really found someone who was interested in him nor someone that he was interested in. 

“She is, there’s no way you too aren’t a couple.” Rindou said but Ran continued his cocky rant of how you were nothing more than just a friend with benefits. “It took me a while but I was finally able to fuck her - she was tight like a virigin.” Ran snickered and clicked his tongue. “I’m sure she’ll get clingy after today. She won’t be able to leave me, side chicks are always like that, they play hard to get but then you fuck ‘em and now they love you.” Your vision became blurry, the bile was in the back of your throat and ready to come out. How could he say such a thing? Were you only just a play thing to him? His end game was to get you in bed? No, he has to be joking. Your thoughts try to convince you, but the next words that flew out his mouth made you almost drop to your knees. “You guys are more than welcome to have a taste, I’ve had my fill.” This whole time you were being lied to. He was being kind and loving so that he could get you between the sheets. He was really no different from other scumbags who tried to get you before.

Quietly, you began to get dressed and wiped the tears that fell from your lashes. It was like putting salt on an open wound, the shame that had you feeling like a total fool for falling for him. The whole time he continued his banter, the other two males were trying to get him to admit that it was bullshit, there was no way Ran didn’t have feelings for you. Both Kakucho and Rindou’s faces went pale when they looked behind Ran. “Aniki-” Rindou spoke but was cut off by Ran. “Like I said, she’s just a friend with benefits. Time to look for some new pussy.” His tone was completely carefree. “ANIKI!” Rindou yelled but it was too late, you heard everything and were now behind Ran. “Would you shut the fuck up? You’re going to wake her up.” Ran said but when he noticed the shadow behind him, he felt his stomach drop. How much did you hear? “Baby-” He began but was cut off by a slap to the face. “Fuck you Haitani…” You spat and headed towards the door, not even bothering to look behind you as the three men sat in horror at what just happened. The sound of the door slamming made the walls shake, the force was enough to knock a frame off the wall. “You never learn do you?” Kakucho said, he’s seen this play out before with Izana. Only Izana really means what he says and is clear with the girls he sleeps with. But Ran always digs himself too deep and ends up getting slapped in the face when he can’t dig himself out.

It felt like you couldn’t walk fast enough out of his apartment. Tears were now free falling, completely blinding you and making it difficult to even know where you were going. People were staring at you as you walked right past them in complete shambles. It was painfully obvious to people that you just got your heart broken and judging by the direction you were coming from - they knew that it had something to do with the kings of Roppongi. The sound of your phone ringing made you pause to take a look at who was calling. It was Rindou, fucking Rindou and not Ran. You declined his call and continued walking, at this point you just wanted to get as far away as possible from his apartment. The ache in your chest was making it hard to breathe. How could he be such an arrogant asshole? Even after making love to you? Wait…did he even really consider it making love or was he just saying things to make himself sound better?

Your blurred vision made you accidentally bump into a group of men, they looked rowdy and annoyed. “Oi! Sweetheart, watch where the fuck your goin’!” One of them screamed in your face, making you flinch. “I’m sorry, please excuse me.” You said and bowed to apologize. But these assholes were looking for more than an apology, one of them gripped your chin and made you face him. His breath reeked of cigarettes and alcohol, it was making you nauseous - he was like a walking ashtray. “Let go of me!” You yelled, clawing at his face to try and free yourself from his grip. 

“Fucking bitch!” The man said and was about to strike you, making you clench your eyes shut but all of a sudden he was face first into the concrete. The sound of rushing footsteps and thuds made you stumble back to the floor. By the time you realized what happened, the group of men were out cold and kissing the concrete. “Are you alright?” The gentle voice of a man from behind you said. You turned around and saw the male reaching out to give you a hand. He had lilac hair and gorgeous lilac eyes - he was handsome too. Reaching out to take his hand, you got on your feet and thanked him. If he wasn’t there, who knows what would have happened to you. “Did they hurt you?” He asked and reached to cup your face, your eyes were swollen from crying and it looked like you had bruises on your chest and neck. “I’m fine, thank you.” You said and tried hard not to stare too long at his eyes. “Oi! Mitsuya, what the hell happened here?” Someone else called out from a distance. Looking behind him, you saw a tall male with blonde hair and a dragon tattoo on his temple. 

“Some guys were messing with this chick and I took care of them.” Mitsuya responded with a cheeky grin. “Hey, let us walk you home - I don’t want these assholes following you.” He said and headed towards the taller male. “Draken, mind if we walk her home?” He says and the other male in the distance shrugged and sighed. Looks like this wasn’t the first time this has happened. “Oh, you don’t have to take me home - please you’ve done enough.” You say and begin to follow him. “Nah, it’s ok. We don’t mind.” His smile was sincere and warm. 

On the way, they asked a few questions here and there making sure you were ok. You answered truthfully as you had no one else to lean on at the time. As someone who lives with nothing but women, Draken understood the situation and he knew exactly what to say to try and cheer you up. “Well, it’s his loss - I’m sure he’ll end up regretting it.” Mitsuya said. It was an odd sensation, somehow these two complete strangers became instant friends - funny how strangers often provide you comfort better than your closest friends. They let you yell and scream all you wanted - you couldn’t even be bothered with shedding tears again. “After this I don’t think I have it in me to date again. I should just become a Hermit.” You said with a giggle. Both men smiled at you and laughed with you. “Well, if you need a shoulder to lean on or if you wanna blow off some steam - we’re just a call away.” 

*a few days later*

“Are you sure it was ok to let her walk out like that?” Rindou asked his brother as he was getting ready to head out to the gym. “Look, I know you two really liked each other. For fuck sake Ran - you looked happy.” The younger Haitani was trying to get Ran to apologize to you but he was failing each and every single time. Ran was stubborn and had a massive ego, he wasn’t going to chase skirts after he was done taking them off. “Would you get off my back already?” Ran spat and threw the nearest object at Rindou as he was leaving. That was enough for Rindou to stop bothering Ran. Alone with his thoughts he couldn’t get the image of your broken face out of his head. Your eyes were red and glossy, and yet you had no tears rolling down your face. You didn’t cry for him, you didn’t beg him nor stay. Each time his phone rings or gets a notification, his heart skips a beat - is it you? Are you going to chew him out or keep giving him the cold shoulder? 

Mindlessly scrolling through his phone, he opened his messages and saw your name. As much as he didn’t want to he ended up tapping on your name - all the messages loaded. He was reading through each and every single conversation you had with him. 

(Y/N) on Mon 24 2023 - 10:00 a.m.

I am happy just thinking about you. Ran, I can’t wait to see you tonight.

End Message

(Y/N) on Mon 24 2023 - 10:45 a.m.

Thinking of picking up some desserts before I head over. You want your favorite? 🙂

End Message

(Y/N) on Mon 24 2023 - 7:28 p.m.

Ran, I got the two last montblanc for you! I almost had to box a bitch for them! 😤

End Message

(Y/N) on Tue 25 2023 - 2:02 a.m.

I can’t stop thinking about tonight. I don’t know if I will be able to hold back next time. You touch me and my mind goes blank… Fuck, Ran you’re bad for my health. lol ☠️

End Message

Each message you’d send him would always make him smile. Even when he was having a really shitty day, the anticipation of receiving a message from you was always there. Whatever, she’ll come back eventually. He thinks to himself as he continues to read through his messages. With each passing minute, he was getting impatient - why, who knows? He was bored, the apartment was too quiet and his phone was pretty much dead. A few hours had gone by and Rindou came back from the gym with Kakucho. They brought two girls with them, it looks like they were also gym buddies. “Aniki, we’re gonna order some food. Is there anything you want to eat?” Rindou asked as he looked over at Ran. He shrugged his shoulders and said whatever is fine with him. As their guests were talking, giggling and laughing - Ran was getting annoyed. These girls were annoying him, they sounded like airheads and attention seekers. Throughout their meal the girls kept making comments that would try to work in their favor. They were trying to get Kakucho and Rindou to compliment them. It was driving Ran up the wall. Thinking back on it, you weren’t like that, you never once asked Ran to compliment you or ask him to tell you sweet things that you wanted to hear. If anything you were always the one to compliment him, your honeyed tone and words were always music to his ears. He was the one being praised for once. In addition, you always had confidence in your looks - never did too much and always did things for him because you wanted to. His thoughts were reminiscing and he was trying not to get dragged into the pointless conversation.

“So, what’s your type, handsome?” One of them asked Ran, interrupting his train of thought. He chuckled. “I like women who aren’t self centered and who don’t seek attention.” His tone was cold and he clicked his tongue. “You see, all these stupid ass comments you’re making - you’re fishing for compliments. Are you really that insecure?” The silence in the room was deafening. It was awkward, he was annoyed with girls who he’s used to being around with. “You probably regret getting implants and that’s why you keep fishing for compliments on your tits to make yourself feel better about your mistake.” Oh no - he’s getting personal. Usually he’d play along and would butter them up, telling them the things they’d want to hear. However, he found it vexing and he wanted nothing more than these girls to leave his apartment. “What a jerk!” One of the girls scoffs, they both get up to leave even though Rindou and Kakucho were trying to apologize to make them stay. But Ran’s rudeness was more than enough to not make them turn back. “What the fuck was that?” Kakucho asks as he pinches the bridge of his nose. He didn’t expect Ran to cockblock them.

Ran simply retreated into his room and laid in bed. What the fuck did he do? This wasn’t like him. He shouldn’t be hung up over you. He shouldn’t be thinking about you at all. “(Y/N), what did you do to me?” He mumbles under his breath and closes his eyes, drifting off to sleep. 

Over the next few days he realized his feeling of frustration was due to not having you around. You were always there to help him relax, to help him take his mind off things and of course you were always giving him your love and attention. At first it was only about sex, he was waiting to get you between the sheets but with how you took care of yourself and how you made him wait - he was no longer interested in that. Sex was now just a bonus, the real prize was you and your affection. Was his ego worth more than your love? He was still too stubborn to try and call you or visit you at home. Would you even answer the phone or open the door for him? It was a risk he had to take, he wanted you back - he needed you. He wanted to at least apologize for saying those things to you. 

The upcoming weeks were a drag to him, he wanted to ‘casually’ run into you to have an excuse to talk to you. He didn’t have the guts to call you. But each time he went out to the places you’d most likely be at, you were nowhere to be found. Your friends even gave him the cold shoulder and refused to give him any information about you. You must have told them what happened and of course, like true friends they backed you up and told Ran to fuck off. “Aniki, you fucked up - you really think she’s going to forgive you? You didn’t even bother chasing after her.” Rindou said as he patted Ran on the back. He’s never seen Ran like this before. Usually, he could care less or would already have another piece of ass on his lap but he wasn’t chasing skirts. Another festival is coming up soon, he will try to look for you there. He was going to give one last ditch effort to run into you before he completely caves and calls you.

*day of the festival*

Ran was left alone to wander the festival as Rindou had a date already and didn’t want his older brother to be a third wheel. He was passing through the booths that had stuffies up for grabs, there was no way you’d pass up another chance to win one. He was too distracted to notice that various women were trying to get his attention but he was not biting. “All right little lady, you get three chances. Knock down the target and the stuffy is yours.” The voice of one of the attendants said and it made Ran turn around. It was a pitching booth, the game was to knock down the one target with one of the three baseballs given to you by the attendant. He was not prepared for the sight in front of him. You were standing there with a smile on your face and were winding up your pitch. Getting ready to approach you, Ran took a step forward but stopped when he realized that you weren’t alone, the other guys with you were from Toman. However, when he realized who was standing next to you, it made his blood boil. It was none other than Mitsuya Takashi. They had some history, Mitsuya used to look up to the Haitani Brother when he was younger but when he got involved with Toman - they remained nothing but somewhat acquaintances. “(Y/N), holy shit! You got quite the pitch!” Mitsuya said and ruffled your hair. Seeing someone else put their hands on you, it set Ran off, but it was best not to confront you now - he wanted to get you alone.

A few hours later you were dropped off at home by Mitsuya. He was such a good friend, your feelings were platonic and he understood that. The worry stemmed from being an older brother to two little ones and also being kind of an older brother to the two Shiba siblings. Giving him one last look before you walked inside your apartment building, he waved goodbye and headed out on his bike.

Heading up the stairs, you made it to the 4th floor but the moment you turned the corner - there he was. Ran was sitting on the floor waiting for you at your door. When he noticed you, he got on his feet and looked you in the eye. “(Y/N)...” His tone was low, almost a whisper, you felt your stomach drop. To see him here, it completely threw you off balance - why was he here? “What are you doing here?” You asked a little hesitant to come closer. The feelings of shame and anger began to bubble inside you. After weeks of being alone and away from him, you couldn’t stand to see him, you hated him. “Can we talk?” He asked standing still, afraid to make the slightest move that might make you run away. "I heard enough that day." Your response was immediate, not even giving a second thought to his request. Biting the inside of his cheek, he held back the urge to spit the venom out of his mouth. "Just give me 10 minutes, please." His tone was sincere, it made your chest hurt and a knot formed in your throat. You were done going into things blindly with Ran, your eyes were wide open and the path with him was dark. Despite your reservations with him, he knew - he knew you were giving him your heart and he crushed it. 

Taking a step forward, he reached his hand out to you and waited for you to take it. Ran wasn't used to being in this position, he was always on the other end and never did take anyone's hand. For the second time he's reaching for your hand. Will you give in? Being reminded of the day you gave him your love was painful. The bitter taste of his kisses lingered on your tongue and you wanted to spit him out. He set fire to the rope that connected your heart to him, all you had left were ashes and pain. 

"There is nothing to discuss - you made it clear and I just don't have a heart to give you anymore. Goodbye Ran." You say and walk past him to get into your apartment. You didn't look back and closed the door, leaving him abandoned in the hallway. Ran Haitani lost his resolve, your eyes were empty - he drained the love out of you and it showed. It was cold, you were cold and he wasn't used to seeing you like this. The warmth that you gave, the same warmth that he felt in chest when thinking about you was gone. The flicker of hope he had was gone. For the first time Ran felt heartbreak.

END

#tokyorev smut #tokyo revengers #tokyorevengers #TR #TR smut #Tokyo Revengers Angst #angst #ran haitani smut #ran haitani #ran haitani angst #character asks #ran angst #haitani angst #tr angst #tokyo revengers fanfic #tokyo revengers fanfiction #tokyo revengers angst #fanfiction #tr fanfiction #ran fanfiction #ran haitani fanfiction #request

[erebird]

I’M ON THE RUN AND YOU’RE HOME ALONE | 𝔪. 𝔰𝔞𝔫𝔬

pairing/s: Manjiro Sano x gn!reader

genre: hurt/no comfort, established relationship, angst

warning/s: none

wc: 530+

Note: I didn't have a specific timeskip in mind but mikey is aged up in this fic! I felt like my characterization wouldn't fit if he was 14-15 here so it’s up to you to imagine what arc this takes place in besides the toman arc :)

It was late and quiet in your shared apartment. The entrance door opening could barely be heard. Your lover, Manjiro, came back from an awful day. He was rarely ever filled with joy anymore, but this day was worse than the previous days he had experienced. 

“I’m home.” is what Manjiro usually yelled after entering the house to let you know that he was back, but he stopped since he’s been coming home at ungodly hours recently. Hours when you were already fast asleep after forcing yourself to stay up and wait until he came back to you.

Setting foot in the bedroom you both slept in, Manjiro stared at your deep sleeping figure. The hued lamp was lit up on his side of the room, a habit you did when he hadn’t come home yet. He wonders how you got so unlucky to love and stay with him. Even he knows it himself, he treated you better when you two were still children.

He softly sat on his side of the bed, still staring at you, adoration and guilt in his eyes. Manjiro loves you. Hell, he loves you more than anything. He isn’t as affectionate as most would be, but he really does cherish you as the light of his life. Your kindness and compassion never faltered even after all these years of hell putting up with all the pain he’s felt. It makes him sick knowing such a sweetheart like you witnessed every terrible deed he’s done even after doing everything he can to keep you away from the dangerous side of his life. You just never went away, you stuck to him like an annoying pest that needed his attention all the time. However, Manjiro knew that in reality, it was the other way around. He was the annoying pest that desperately clung to you and unnoticeably begged for your affection. 

Though he never verbally said it, he needed you. He believes that he needs you more than you need him. Maybe that's why after all these years, he’s too selfish to let you go for your own good. When everyone is slowly leaving him, you’re all he has left.

“Mikey…” You mumbled. He gently swiped your hair away from your face to tuck behind your ear. Now your face was clear on full display for him to see. It’s not the first time he’s heard you say his name in your sleep. It’s always “Mikey” or “‘Jiro” that leaves past your pretty lips. 

Now that he thinks about it, it’s been a long time since the two of you shared a kiss. 

Manjiro looks at your lips once more before hesitantly moving down to give you a soft peck that lasts not more than a few seconds. 

Sitting back up, he sighs out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding. He reached for your hand to intertwine your fingers with his. 

Not once did he stop looking at you. Not even while he’s shedding light tears, an action with his intent to apologize for being so absent. 

A whisper that could barely be heard leaves Manjiro’s trembling mouth.

“I’m too consumed with my own life.”

#erewrites #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers angst #tr #tr x reader #tr angst #mikey #mikey x reader #mikey angst #manjiro sano #manjiro sano x reader #manjiro sano angst #i dislike mikey but somewhere in my heart he’s got a special place in there #told y'all i'd still be alive after a year

[nejibaby]

(un)certainties

Pairing: Sano Shinichiro x Reader

Word count: 0.9k

“You aren’t well versed in love. And the things that you do know of love, you’ve learned from Sano Shinichiro.”

You’re not sure how things ended up this way.

The air is stuffy and stale. No sound can be heard aside from the occasional scraping of the utensils against the plates and the clock ticking on the wall. It makes you a little bit self conscious about your own breathing — afraid that it would disrupt the atmosphere if you breathed too deeply.

You pretend to take a sip on your glass of wine and sneak a peek at the person in front of you.

Sano Shinichiro seems to be unperturbed. He maintains a blank, impassive face.

It makes you wonder, does this silence really not bother him?

A couple of years ago, at the very restaurant you’re both in, and on the exact same table you’re both seated at, things were a lot different. Back then, the air was filled with laughters and giggles, and random stories. At that time, conversation flowed freely, so much so that by nine in the evening you both barely even touched the food right in front of you.

But now, you’ve had your wine glass refilled thrice, and the night is just about to end without a single word being uttered.

It feels lonely, even with him there.

Just as you put your glass back down, Shinichiro raises his eyes to meet yours. You look away instantly when you notice him raise a brow.

You feel your ears burn from having been caught staring at him.

Fortunately, he doesn’t question your rather odd actions.

Unfortunately, he interprets your actions as something else, and the first words he tells you at this anniversary dinner is, “Do you want to go home?”

You suppose it’s pointless to stay much longer so you give him a curt smile and a nod.

Shinichiro returns the smile, but it doesn’t really make your heart skip. Not when it isn’t a genuine one. Not when it’s the practised smile he easily gives away to other people.

The ride home isn’t silent, thanks to his tendency to hum random songs as he drives. At least that’s something that hasn’t changed over the years.

However, instead of admiring his talent, your mind chooses a different path for tonight. It goes wandering to uncharted territories, making you wonder if long term relationships are supposed to be this way.

Is it still considered normal if both of you make time for important events and go on dates but without talking to each other? Is it okay living under the same roof without connecting? Existing at the same timeline but moving on different paces?

The cold hard truth is you don’t actually know. You aren’t well versed in love. And the things that you do know of love, you’ve learned from Sano Shinichiro.

It is and has always been Shinichiro for you.

But is that the case with him too? Does he feel the same way with you?

You’re not sure — at least not anymore.

You go on with your separate routines by the time you get home. The night ends with Shinichiro leaving a kiss on your forehead before he turns his back to you to sleep.

It hurts. And before you know it, tears are falling from your eyes.

Is this really how it’s going to be in the long run? Are you supposed to get used to the silence and loneliness? Why does this make you feel miserable?

You stare at his back, and question whether it would be okay to reach out to him. Slowly, carefully, you scoot over towards him. Tentatively, you raise your arm to wrap around his torso.

You wait to see if he stirs awake, ready to pull away if he does. You watch for any signs of change in his breathing, but there isn’t any.

Despite the relief, your lips quiver.

He’s been so busy these past few months, he rarely ever goes home. You understand his duties and responsibilities, you really do. Besides, you’ve been through this before. You should be content that he’s here, that he’s taken a day off to spend with you. But why does it feel like he’s slipping through your fingers this time around?

You sigh and press your forehead against his back. You miss being this close to him. You miss his warmth. You miss his scent. You miss everything about him.

You press a kiss on his shoulder and pull back. Just as you start to lay on your back, you hear Shinichiro whimper faintly.

You suppose he too misses your warmth next to his, albeit unconsciously. It brings about a sad smile on your face. “What am I going to do with you?”

When you move closer to him, you gently rub your palms against his back. His whimpers immediately cease. You sit up to take a peek at his face and see him pouting in his sleep.

He’s adorable.

It temporarily eases your pain.

You run your hands through his hair and place a fleeting kiss on his nose.

You decide then and there that it wouldn’t be so bad if you poured more of your love to Shinichiro.

You’ll try harder for this. You’ll fight desperately for him. You’ll brave whatever sea or ocean despite the high waves and deadly currents, even if it means drowning in an endless abyss. As long as it means more time with Shinichiro. As long as it means more of him.

Because it is and has always been Shinichiro for you.

song reference/inspiration: (1) dinner by suho, jang jane, (2) let me in by exo

#sano shinichiro x reader #shinichiro sano x reader #shinichiro x reader #sano shinichiro #shinichiro #shinichiro sano #tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev x reader #tr x reader #sano shinichiro x you #shinichiro x you #shinichiro sano x you #tokyo revengers angst #tokrev angst #tr angst #shinichiro angst #sano shinichiro angst #tokyo revengers fanfiction #tokyo revengers fanfin #tokyo revengers #tokrev

[zeltqz]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃] FIVE

pairing. ex!ran x fem!reader

word count. 5.4k

series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.

content. NSFW!!! prositution work, reader has a gun put to her head, minor violence

a/n: finally dropping some hints about dona and reader heehheehhehehe

The music was loud but unfortunately wasn’t loud enough to drown out the sounds of Haruchiyo’s boyish laughter and incessant chattering about topics Takeomi or Mikey couldn’t care less about. Takeomi took a long drag of his cigarette, his head tipped back and he held the smoke in his lungs for several seconds before exhaling. In all honesty, he was bored. The whores working tonight weren’t of his style, too underdressed for his taste so he had to ignore every one that tried to approach him.

It was Sanzu’s idea to come here tonight for reasons unknown to both Omi and Manjiro. Takeomi’s eyes were slipping shut, fighting back sleep as the clock ticked closer and closer to midnight before he was violently nudged awake by the harsh elbow of Haruchiyo.

“Don’t sleep yet!” Sanzu grabbed Takeomi’s face and directed it towards Manjiro across the table. His eyes were shut, not a single thought floating through his mind as he let himself go and enjoyed the sensual massage he was receiving from the topless prostitute behind him.

 “Have you ever seen him so relaxed?” Haruchiyo continued. Takeomi honestly didn’t care and expressed just as much with a grunt before slapping Sanzu’s hands off his face. 

Sanzu leaned back into the booth, kicking his shoes up onto the table with a thud and knocking over a bottle of vodka onto the table.

“Jeez Sanzu, you’re a mess.” Kakucho clicked his tongue and grabbed the bottle before it could spill any more of its contents and began wiping down the table.

“You’re such a mom Kaku. You worry too much,” Sanzu waved his hand away in Kakucho’s direction. 

Kakucho rolled his eyes and began packing the empty bottles into the trash bag at the same time another woman strode towards him, placing her arms on his shoulders after catching a glimpse of Mikey and her co-worker. “Do you need a massage too? You look stressed.”

“Well can you blame me? Being around this idiot all day.” He nodded over towards Sanzu who only grinned widely. “But no thank you, really. I’m fine.” He gently shook his head and gently rolled his shoulders to nudge her hands off, letting her down as politely as he could be. He smiled at her, short, sweet and precise before walking off to empty the trash bag outside.

The woman pouted and slumped her shoulders.

“Hey baby, baby, c’mere.” Sanzu held his hand out and she grabbed it, humming and plopped herself onto his lap. “I need you to do me a favour, okay?”

“Yes Haru. Whaddya need?” she giggled softly when he pressed a kiss to the column of her throat, his hands wandering to her waist to keep her upright on his lap. 

“Need you to seduce someone for me. You can do that for me, can’t you?” He made sure his voice was husky in her ear, the vibrations sending a shiver down her spine as she nodded her head slowly.

“Who?”

Sanzu gently shifted her off his lap and walked her over the balcony. The area they were sitting in was three floors above the rest of the club, the height giving them a clear view of everybody down below. Haruchiyo held onto her chin and redirected her face towards the bar. 

“You see that man with curly black hair?” he asked and she nodded. “He’s an information broker and I need him to find information for me but I can’t ask him myself. He’s mad at me.”

“What did you do?” Hesitantly she looked up at Sanzu who was grinning wide enough to stretch his scars in a way that made her uneasy. “Nevermind. I don’t want to know.”

“The less you know the better. So can you do it for me?”

“What’s in it for me?” she asked playfully, her breath catching in her throat when Sanzu pulled her close enough to whisper in her ear.

“I’ll hook you up with your favourites.” Sanzu rubbed circles on her hips and lower back as he watched her slowly take in the offer before finally nodding her head. “Go down there and tell him Sanzu asked for his package. If he tries to act clueless that’s when you come in. Got it?”

“Got it,” she said confidently before fixing her outfit straps then sauntered down the steps to the bar. Sanzu waited until he saw her approach him before walking back over to the booth.

Mikey cracked an eye open the second he sat down. “What are you up to?”

“Boss! I thought you were asleep!”

Mikey shrugged the woman’s hands off his shoulders and told her to go away. She frowned and walked off without hesitation. Mikey narrowed his eyes at Sanzu who was smiling nervously in his seat. “Answer my question.”

“I’m not up to anything. Can a guy not get information anymore?” Sanzu gave him a smile as Mikey leaned forward in his seat and propped his elbows on the counter, glaring.

“You wanted to come here tonight without a reason, now you're getting a whore to seduce an information broker. What are you up to?" Mikey asked sternly, making Sanzu grin.

"If I tell you, you'll be mad."

"Go ahead."

"It's about Naoto." Mikey groaned but Sanzu simply gave him a look and kept going. "I know you told me to drop it! But I think I figured out a way to take him down without you know..."

"I know?" Mikey asked, confused. Sanzu sighed and made a gun with his hands and pointed at his head, imitating a shooting sound.

"What the fuck Sanzu?"

"Just trust me on this. Okay?!" Sanzu leaned back into the booth chair and crossed his arms over his chest as Mikey glared at him.

Mikey took a moment to mull it over before looking over at Takeomi who was already tired of this conversation by the look on his face. "Should I trust him, Omi?"

Takeomi took a drag of his cigarette, the white tip glowing in the dark bar before exhaling smoke. "Remember what happened the last time you trusted him?"

Sanzu rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. "That was one time! And it never happened again! I got the money back, didn't I?"

Kakucho returned back in time to join in the conversation. "We went through hell to get that money back Sanzu. Don't forget that."

Sanzu stared at him incredulously about to open his mouth and speak before Omi groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Shut up Sanzu. Just...shut up.”

"I didn't even say anything..." Sanzu protested as Omi snapped his fingers and the waitress appeared behind them.

“Get us two bottles of tequila, on me.” Omi said quickly, handing over a few bills. "Can't stand to have a conversation with this idiot sober," he pointed over at Sanzu with his thumb who was grinning like an idiot.

The waitress left to fetch the drinks and Sanzu huffed. "God damn it, Omi. Fuck all of you. Just wait until that whore comes back with the information I need to prove all you sons of bitches wrong." He grumbled under his breath and glared around the room.

Kakucho tapped his finger on the table top, listening to Sanzu rant about how unfair he was being treated, while taking a sip of his own drink. The woman returned with an envelope , placing it down on the table between them. She cleared her throat and then leaned closer to speak softly.

“I got it. Where's my pills?"

Sanzu snatched the envelope up, eyeing it closely before flipping it open and inspecting the documents inside. After confirming it was legit, Sanzu reached into his pocket and handed the woman a small handful of pills. "Here ya go babe." He winked at her. "That was really quick though."

The women grinned as she opened the baggy of pills, putting some in her palm and popping them into her mouth. "He didn't last very long."

Sanzu cackled as he laughed loudly. "Fucking virgins man. Anyway go enjoy yourself baby. You earned it." She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek before walking away.

Sanzu slouched in his seat, opening the envelope. "You wanna see what I found?" He asked , waving the papers around as he pulled them out and slid them across the table to Mikey.

Mikey grabbed the papers and read through them carefully. After what felt like minutes of switching through picture after picture of some random woman, Mikey looked up at Sanzu with a bored expression. "Who is this?"

"Prepare to get your mind blown," Sanzu said smugly, laughing slightly, placing his palms on the table. "His. Fiancée."

Omi blinked slowly, taking a second to process what Sanzu had just said before covering his mouth and laughing so hard. "You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking."

Sanzu sighed dramatically. "Oh no, Omi. Not kidding."

"You made us wait all this time and all we get is his fiancée? What the fuck are we supposed to do with this?" Mikey groaned, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor.

Sanzu pinched his temples and sighed again. "This information could change everything. Am I the only one that realises this?! Do I have to spell everything out for you?"

""Just say the goddamn plan," Takeomi grumbled, relighting his cigarette and holding it in his mouth.

"Fine. So here's the plan. Imagine how sick it'd be if we got his own wife to turn against him?" Sanzu shrugged nonchalantly, grabbing the pictures from Mikey and looked at them again. "And she's pretty hot too. Could get myself a piece of that if I wanted to."

Mikey shook his head. "You're not fucking his wife."

"Sorry Mikey but you kill people and sell out whores. You don't get to have a moral high ground right now," Takeomi said.

Mikey laughed a bit, leaning back in his chair as Sanzu pulled the pictures closer. "Alright alright, okay. But still. No."

Sanzu rubbed his chin in thought. "What if I get her addicted to some substances, so she can't rely on anybody but me?" Kakucho immediately shook his head and Sanzu shrugged. "It's possible!"

"And fucking risky," Kakucho responded, folding his arms over his chest. "She's marrying a goddamn cop. She obviously won't snort pills like you do."

"She doesn't but..." Sanzu pulled out a photo from the envelope, one he had been saving for the final reveal and slid it onto the table. All eyes turned to the photo in confusion. It was a picture of Mira in high school, outside of a dance studio posed next to two other girls.

"Is that Dona?" Kakucho asked, grabbing the photo and examining it further.

Sanzu nodded and pointed at the girl next to Dona and Mira. "Since Dona and Mira aren't on speaking terms, we need this girl right here to do it."

He slid another picture across the table, showing the same group without Dona but this time, they were standing in front of a beach house with smiles on their faces.

"That girl is closer to Mira. Now we just need to find her and get her to trick Mira into making some sort of arrangement deal with us. Blackmail or something. Once she's indebted to us, we will make her do stuff like leak Naoto's connections in the Police Department or something," Sanzu explained, looking from person to person.

"Wow," Kakucho said, looking over at Sanzu. "I'm actually impressed."

Sanzu made a show of bowing dramatically before Takeomi hit him on the head. "Stop being such a fucking drama queen. This plan has so many holes. How do we even know she has connections?"

"Or if Mira even speaks to the girl in the photo anymore?" Mikey interjected. "Do you even know her name?"

"I'll find out. Relaxxxx," Sanzu waved off all their concerns. "And c'mon now. She's engaged to the head of the police. Of course she has connections."

Mikey considered it. "Okay fine. I'll trust you on this one."

Sanzu grinned wickedly, clapping his hands together in glee. "Good. Now just trust me on this." With that, Sanzu stood up and left the room, bringing out his phone to contact Tamura.

"Yo! Tam-Tam. I need a favour right now. Come down to Club Platinum as soon as you can. Actually, I changed my mind. You have ten minutes to get here. Bye bye!" Sanzu hung up before Tamura could even respond.

Tamura managed to arrive in nine minutes, only getting stopped by security outside the club door because he did not have any identification.

"I swear I know Sanzu man! He called me himself. Just lemme in!"

"No can do," the bouncer replied flatly. "Need ID before you can enter."

"Listen. I get my fresh looks make me look ten years younger but I'm clearly over 21. Take those goddamn sunglasses off and let me in."

The bouncer stood still and shook his head before Tamura groaned loudly, checking his phone timer. He had under thirty seconds left before Sanzu would do god knows what to him. He pulled out his phone and dialled the number of Sanzu's burner, putting it on speaker and flaunted it in front of the bouncer.

Sanzu answered on the third ring. "You have twelve seconds left, Tam-Tam," he couldn't help but laugh as he said it.

"Sanzu I'm outside but your fucking bouncers won't lemme in!"

"Give him the phone." Sanzu ordered. Tamura handed the phone to the guard who cleared his throat before talking.

"Hello?"

"Let him through."

The bouncer looked over at Tamura who had a smug grin on his face. He looked at the number on his phone again but didn't recognise the number. "I'm sorry but I need verification proof that this is Mr.Haruchiyo I'm speaking to right now."

Tamura groaned and rolled his eyes.

"I mean sure, I can come downstairs and show you that I'm Sanzu. But you'll end up with a bullet between your eyes before the day ends. Is that acceptable to you?"

The guard looked back at Tamura, seeing him stick his tongue out at him and shook his head. "No sir. I'll let him inside right now."

"Yay!" Sanzu cheered, mood switching like a light switch. "I'll be waiting." The phone hung up and the bouncer handed Tamura back his phone, letting him inside the building.

"Thank you," Tamura said gratefully, nodding towards the guard as he walked past. He stepped into the VIP balcony and found Sanzu standing with his arms crossed, watching him carefully.

"Took you long enough."

"You need to fire your security." Tamura grumbled as Sanzu laughed, slapping a hand onto Tamura's back hard enough to make him yelp.

"I need you to do me a favour."

"What favour?" Tamura asked hesitatingly, watching as Sanzu pulled out a picture of you, Mira and Dona in high school. He pointed at you. "You seen this girl before?"

Tamura grabbed the photo and scanned it. "Yeah. I recognise her. I drove her the other day for Rindou."

"Cool." Sanzu snatched back the photo. "Find her and bring her to us. Conscious, unconscious I don't care."

Tamura stammered as Sanzu began to walk out of the balcony. "Wait! Sanzu, sir." Sanzu stopped in his tracks and looked at Tamura with a raised eyebrow. "How am I supposed to find her in this big city?"

Sanzu shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that I gave you an order, now you have to complete it."

"But--But--"

Sanzu sighed. "If you find her before tommorow, I'll take away 368784 yen away from your debt."

Tamura crossed his arms over his chest. "That's a strangely specific amount but hell, fuck it. I'll do it."

Sanzu patted him on the shoulder before leaving the balcony. Tamura called his friend Kimi over to help him figure out how to find your location. They ended up driving back to Hiro’s house before seeing the damage done to the place from the break in, then drove to the hospital where they asked a nurse for your whereabouts. 

The nurse refused to give them any information on patients that weren’t friends or family. Defeated, they were about to give up when another nurse overheard the conversation and said if they buy him some food to eat for the rest of his shift, he would give them information. 

Luck was on their side as they arrived at the pizza place and before they were about to order, they heard your name being called from one of the delivery drivers ready to drive it back to yours. They asked the delivery guy to see the address but naturally he refused until they bribed him with money. He handed them the food as well as the location. 

When they arrived at the house, they knocked on the door, waiting a couple seconds before they heard your voice coming from inside. You grabbed the money from your wallet and opened the door, freezing when you saw who was behind it.

"What the hell are you doing here?" You crossed your arms across your chest, glaring at Tamura. Honestly, you had no clue who the girl on his right was, but you just assumed she was also part of Bonten. "Did Rindou ask you to deliver my pizzas now too?"

"Haha," Tamura laughed, shaking his head. "This is my day job and you just happened to be my customer."

"Funny," you responded with a deadpan face and grabbed the pizza box, handing him the money. You said no more as you shut the door, only to find his foot blocking the door from fully closing.

"Wait, I'm not done talking to you yet," Tamura said.

"What?" you groaned, not having the patience for this.

"I just wanna talk, you know? I really enjoyed our conversation in the car—"

"We spoke about farts..." you said slowly, raising your eyebrows.

Tamura paused, scratching his chin as he thought of a response. Kimi snorted, interrupting his train of thought. "No but seriously. I wanna get to know you better. We're actually going to this club right now. Do you wanna join?" he finished, feeling ultimately proud of his excuse. It made perfect sense, the perfect plan to get you out of the house and into the hands of Sanzu without too much thought.

All confidence he had in his answer began to fade slowly when you shook your head. "No. Sorry. You seem nice but you're affiliated with Bonten and I want nothing to do with them."

Tamura quickly shook his head, grabbing the door handle before you could close the door again. "This has nothing to do with Bonten. Promise. Just us hanging out, getting to know each other." When you still look unconvinced, balancing between yes or no, he continued. "It's just not often I find someone I entertaining in this type of industry. Please?"

"I dunno..."

"Drinks are on me," Kimi interrupted you from behind Tamura.

You paused and turned to look at her. "Forreal?"

"Sure."

"Fine." You stepped aside to put the pizza box in the kitchen before stepping out the house with them. "Lead the way."

~*~

Restaurants were always Shion's favourite places to go to. They were always so warm and inviting and the atmosphere always made him feel like he was home. This particular restaurant however, exceeded his expectations. In the middle of the venue, tables covered in white tablecloths lined the entire centre, giving it a very clean and elegant look.

"Didn't think you could afford a restaurant like this," Dona said, looking around impressed at the interior design.

"I can't. You're paying."

Dona rolled her eyes, pulling a chair out to sit down. "Didn't expect anything less from a guy working a below minimum wage job," she scoffed.

Shion only shrugged. "Had to keep a low radar. The last thing I want is Mikey on my ass." He thanked the waiter for handing him the menu and began to look through it, missing the way Dona's face scowled at him.

"It's Sano to you. You lost the right to say his full name after what you did. In fact if I was seen with you right now I'd probably get killed. So let's make this quick. Did it work?"

Shion slid the tape recorder across the table. "Listen to it for yourself."

Dona pocketed it. "I'll do it later. But I'll take your word for it now. How do I know she isn't lying though?"

"She's not. You should've seen the way she was crying. I haven't seen her that sad since the actual break up years ago. It's legit."

"Hm," Dona hummed, tapping her fingers on the table. "I guess that settles it then." She stood up, ready to leave before Shion stopped her.

"Where're you going?"

"To a meeting. Sanzu texted me earlier saying something important was happening."

"Oh. Have fun I guess."

Dona chuckled, walking past him to exit the restaurant. By the time she made it to the club, she received another message from Sanzu, telling her the exact room to wait in. When she got there, every other executive minus Ran and Rindou were there, waiting.

"Where is Sanzu?" she asked Kakucho as he looked through his folder. "He said something big was going down."

Takeomi jerked his head to the room down the hall, currently locked. "Some girl is in there with Mikey and Sanzu."

"Doing what?"

Takeomi shrugged again and continued rolling his eyes. "Who knows."

In the meeting room, you glared at Tamura who was standing in the corner of the room, looking apologetic for tricking you into coming here but no matter how hard he explained it had to be done, you refused to listen to his excuses.

You looked away from Tamura and looked over at Sanzu instead as he dragged a chair and moved to sit in front of you.

"Is there a reason I'm here?" you asked coldly, your tone echoing throughout the room.

Sanzu ignored your question, staring at you with his deep green eyes. His hair was tied back in a ponytail while a stern expression was set on his face, but all of it seemed to vanish as soon as his lips curved into a smile, his demeanour softening considerably. "I need a favour from you."

You deadpanned at him, your eyes dropping down to the tattoo on his forearm. Since Ran and Rindou have that exact same tattoo, you deduced he might also be high up in Bonten. You narrowed your eyes at him. "And what on earth could that be?"

"Your friend, Mira. We need something from her but can't get into contact with her."

"That's not my problem."

Mikey sighed from the far end of the table. "What do you want? Money? Sex? Drugs? Name it and we'll get it for you. Payment for helping us."

"Wow this is so pathetic," you remarked, rolling your eyes. "Big ass corporation like this and you're just using sleazy tactics to get things done."

In all honesty, you regretted the words the second they left your mouth, but you were too far in to take them back now. If you died here so be it, you were past caring now. You watched Mikey look at you with a straight face and it was bone chilling the way the smile on Sanzu's face slowly dropped, his eyes darkening ever so slightly as he inched forward to glare at you harder.

"You're so lucky I can't shoot you right now," he threatened.

But it wasn't even a threat anymore. The gun was already out of its holster, held firmly in Sanzu's hand, pointed directly at you.

You froze. No longer angry, no longer sad, not even feeling scared anymore. All you felt was an overwhelming feeling of dread as you noticed everyone in the room's gaze turning away from you. Except for Sanzu, whose focus remained firmly on you.

"Sanzu put the damn gun down. You were just ranting about how important she is, now you wanna take her out?" Mikey said calmly, sighing again.

Sanzu only pressed the gun harder against your forehead and turned to look at his boss. "I don't like her attitude."

"I don't care. Put the fucking gun down."

You squeezed your eyes shut, readying yourself for death. What you didn't realise is Sanzu's arm had suddenly dropped. His grip on the gun loosened until it was no longer pointing at you anymore, tucked safely back into his pants. You exhaled deeply, relaxing once you realised he wasn't going to kill you.

"I'm not playing around anymore," Sanzu said, leaning closer towards you, his eyes still glued to yours. "I was gonna be nice and give you the benefit of the doubt but now I'm done with that. Do the damn favour for us. I'm not asking anymore."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "What exactly do you need her for anyway?"

Sanzu shook his head, not wanting to divulge any information. "You'll see when the time comes. For now, just trust me."

The two of you looked at each other silently for a few moments before you finally agreed. "I'm going to need you to do something for me too though."

Sanzu's smile widened. "Of course. Go ahead."

"Free my brother's debt."

Sanzu's eyebrows furrowed. "What debt? Who is he?"

"His name is Hiro. He's my younger brother."

Sanzu turned to look back at Mikey. "Have you heard of this?" Mikey shook his head.

"I'll ask Kokonoi later." Mikey turned to look back at you. "How much does he owe?"

"Uh like maybe 500 million yen—"

"Fuck that," Sanzu laughed loudly. "Not worth it."

"What?! Why?!" you protested,

"Because," he smiled widely, saying nothing more after that.

"Because what?!"

Sanzu was having a great time just toying with your emotions, Mikey noticed and deadpanned at Sanzu.

"Aw c'mon boss, don't look at me like that. You know we can't afford to just lose that much money right now. Especially with the police on our asses every second. If you just let me shoot Naoto then he won't be a proble—"

"No one is shooting Naoto," Mikey interrupted. "Take his debt off. We will find the money another way."

"500 MILLION YEN!" Sanzu yelled angrily. "How the fuck are we supposed to find that much money another way?!"

"I'm not arguing with you about this Sanzu. Tell Koko to release his debt." Mikey ended the conversation with that, turning to look back at you. You looked relieved but Mikey quickly shut that down. "It won't be easy though. With every amount of information you get from Mira the more money gets released. If you do a good enough job for us by the end of our deal, your brother goes off scot-free."

"Fine. Just stop sending people to beat him up. It's sickening."

"Who's doing that?" Mikey asked, looking at Sanzu. "Did you do that?"

Sanzu shook his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Wasn't on my orders."

"How do you guys not know whats going on in your own company?" you asked angrily.

"Who says we don't?" Sanzu questioned.

"The fact that you both don't know the idiots that sent out the order to break into my brother's house and beat him half to death!" you exclaimed, glaring daggers at Sanzu.

"I'll look into it," Mikey said softly, trying to calm you down.

"Thanks," you mumbled, standing up. "Now, are we done here?"

"Wait." Mikey slid a phone box across the table towards you. "Use this to contact me about anything. Never text or call me on your actual phone. Especially since you're going to be working next to a police officer, I don't want anything traced. Got it?"

"Got it," you replied, taking the phone. "Just one more thing."

Sanzu's eyebrow twitched. "What?"

"What exactly am I supposed to get...? Information wise. I still don't know what you're asking of me."

"Just get Mira to come to this club. We will do the rest. Got it?"

"Yeah. You got it."

Sanzu and Mikey left the room, leaving only you and Tamura in the room.

"To my defence I had no clue this was going to happen." He held his hands up defensively.

"Oh whatever." You waved him off, headed towards the door when you were stopped by the presence of Dona. She was at the end of the hallway talking to Sanzu who was probably updating her on the situation. After he left, her eyes flashed towards you and a frown crossed her face.

She walked towards you, grabbing your wrist to stop you from leaving. "Don't take the deal."

"Why not?" You pulled your wrist from her grip.

"Your reckless brother racked up millions of debt in our name. We need that goddamn money."

"Well maybe you can find some more easily with all the illegal shit you guys are doing anyway. Shouldn't be that hard, huh? That's how you got your people to scam and ruin Hiro's life. You know he got beat up by your fucking lackeys right? Like this is goddamn middle school." Dona stayed quiet at your rant, letting you continue your speech uninterrupted. "Oh wait you probably knew that, didn't you? Or you probably did and just didn't care about him. Won't be a surprise there."

"Why would I care about him?" Dona asked quietly.

You blinked. "Hello? You slept with him for god's sake."

Her eyes widened. "How did you know?"

"Because he told me! You slept with him, then ghosted him. This is exactly what I mean, Dona. You don't care for anyone but yourself."

"Says you! Oh my god! You abandoned your friends and family to leave the goddamn country on such short notice. What kind of mentally sane person does that?!" Dona's voice was pitching higher and higher with each word.

"I needed a break," you said simply, calmly. From the corner of your eye, you noticed how some other men were starting to look in your direction from all the yelling.

"A break? From what? Your 'oh so' perfect life?" Dona spat.

Her words made you snap your eyes away from the lingering eyes back onto her. "You know better than anybody else my life isn't perfect. You have some goddamn obsession with throwing that back in my face and for what? Because I actually got the guy you wanted?"

Dona's jaw hung open at your statement. For a few seconds she just stood there staring at you in shock.

"What?" you asked. "Didn't think I noticed?"

"You sound like such a cliché right now," Dona muttered, embarrassed under her breath. Her words caught the attention of one of the other people in the hallway who had been listening to the whole thing.

"Coming from you that's actually fucking hilarious."

"Notice how you're still making things about Ran. Jesus you're so obsessed."

"I'm obsessed? Me? The only reason why we fell out is because you were obsessed with him. But you know what it doesn't matter. Move out of my way." You pushed past her, ignoring all the eyes on you as you made your way to the stairs.

"You know Mikey assigned me to work with you in gaining Mira's trust right?" Dona called out to you before you opened the door.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me. No one is going to believe that we're friends. Yet alone Mira."

"I faked it once I can do it again," Dona said and you felt your shoulders slump slightly at the thought.

"That's not the flex you think it is, Dona. Unlike you I genuinely considered you my friend. Sorry for not being a total sociopath like you." You stepped outside and slammed the door behind you.

The moment you set foot outside of the building, you felt tears well up in your eyes. Even after everything you'd said, you still felt guilty for your words, no matter how justifiable your emotions were. Dona was someone you considered a true friend but after tonight's encounter, you couldn't help but feel like you'd mistaken all those years of friendship. It was honestly scary how someone that didn't give a total shit about you could make you feel so happy.

How good of a liar someone must be to manipulate a friend like that... you wondered, swallowing thickly. You bit your lip hard, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over at any given moment.

RAN FANART + taglist masterlist

TAGLIST: @escafhwiluv @lyniana @haitanifxn @rindougf03 @mvteria @hisan-na @luvhaitani @yuma404 @sleeplessreader @shinichirolover @illusorysmut @obsessedwreiner @insayninthamembrayn @reihimbo @l0velikethis @lollevi @danasaan @tenjikusstuff4 @midoriapologist @asp7n @thebrownemo @levstar777 @sanaukii @yumidepain @jesjesboo @pink-sugar-rush @mizukikyong @suckonlimes @xngelsau @lonnie19 @yanfei-kisser @hayeoyeon @christmassugarcookies @minimari415 @rinshoe @taihjj @ezri261 @secretanimesimp @https-sonshine @nil-eena @weebausarus @secretxchive @getosmybeloved @kakuchosbff @atarathegreat @erenwifey @nyanglock @tsumudrip @notdyl4n @strawberryshorcakee3 @satoruloaf

#—tr </3 #series : wasted times #ran x reader #haitani ran x reader #ran haitani x reader #tokyorev x reader #tokrev x reader #ran angst #sanzu x reader #sanzu haruchiyo x reader #tr x reader #tr angst #tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev

[seiquack]

Just For Tonight

☆ || Sanzu / Haruchiyo Akashi | 明司 春千夜 x gn!reader

angst, comfort (?), reader and sanzu aren't together here, I dont think Sanzus personality is accurate, I'll just let you think what au Sanzu is from lol, not proofread!

The both of you lay in Sanzu's bed in his apartment, it was quiet only the tick of the clock and soft breathing could only be heard

Your relationship was over and the both of you decided to stay as friends, after a few drinks at the bar he offered to take you to his home since you lived far away and you were too intoxicated to commute back home

You lay on the old side of the bed you used to sleep on wearing your old pajamas that were kept in Sanzus closet where your clothes used to be hung on

He never thought of removing your old clothes from his closet since he always hoped that you would come back again and sleep next to him

He was on the other side of the bed turning his back against you facing the wall, wearing a shirt and pajama pants you urged him to buy one time the both of you went out to shop for clothes together

The only thing that separated the two of you was a pillow that served as a barrier between the two of you. One of you could've just slept on the couch or the guest room yet neither the two of you brought to the idea and just let the other do anything

sobering up unable to sleep you thought if this was appropriate, if exes should even still be in contact let alone share a bed

The whole time the tension was awkward between the two of you, you wanted to speak up and ask if it was okay for you to occupy the guest room. But that was an hour ago

You didn't know the time it was too dark to see what time it was from the clock, you remind yourself to tell him to get a digital alarm clock before you leave tomorrow morning

Sanzu wanted to turn around, throw the pillow separating the both of you, ask what led to your breakup, apologize for it, and hug you. He couldn't just do that and expect you to let him do it, his stomach weighed heavy as minutes passed by all he could do was stare at whatever he was facing

Thinking if he should talk to you or not, he doesn't know what you'll say and a part of him doesn't want to hear it

He doesn't want to hear you talk fearing he'll start crying in front of you. He can't handle the fact that he isn't in your life anymore and he should not try and make his way in again

He was too immersed in his thoughts that he didn't feel the bed move slightly as you moved to face his back

he only realized when you called out to him

"Haru" you call out to him whispering

There, it was the nickname you used to call him.

You called out to him in a voice that made his insides feel warm, a voice that belonged to the person he loves since he could remember.

he doesn't face you, he doesn't want to know why you decided to say his name

"Haru" you call him again, hesitant about your actions and the world that threatened to spill from your mouth

You feel the bed move and hear the sheets crinkle as he turns over to face you, you felt his eyes looking at you even though you couldn't see his face

"Yeah?" he answers "What's wrong?" he asks you in a hushed concerned tone

You didn't know if the words that came out of you were caused by the tone of his voice or the leftover alcohol that was still in your system

"Can you hold me like before, please?"

You asked moving closer to him ignoring the pillow that was supposed to keep you both separated, he was taken back by your sudden request

He let out a quiet "ok" removing the pillow tossing it somewhere in the room and moving closer to you

You wrap your arms around his neck hiding on his neck and tangling your legs together, he hugs you leaving his hands on your back

The feeling of hugging him again makes you miss this feeling and him

knowing this was only for tonight and never again.

You missed this feeling badly, and so did he.

( a/n: Im so tired I've been repeatedly fixing and reposting for like 3 times now cause tumblr wont post it. Anyways this is inspired by the storu i saw here abt Matsukawa x reader from a hq blog acc yet I cant find it pls let me know if you do know what im talking about. All my posts seem to be the same huh no wonder I feel like all of them are trash )

Likes and Reblogs are appreciated (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠) ♡ !

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[litepowee]

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡...

ft. Manjiro Sano

cw. hurt/no comfort, gender-neutral pronouns, angst, childhood friends to lovers au

wc. 1.3k

a/n. this is a re-write of something from my old blog. was in a angsty mood, but i just want my boy to have a chance to break down in someone's arms (╥﹏╥)

You looked as gorgeous as ever, though that wasn’t anything new in Manjiro’s mind. Since the first day he met you, ‘gorgeous’ had always been on his mind. But today, it just felt different. Something in the back of Manjiro’s mind told him that today was different, that somehow without him noticing, you were different. 

The white dress adorned your body so perfectly, hugging your curves and flowing out in a trail behind you so elegantly. Even with all the eyes of family members, friends, and anyone in-between on you, you still stood as confident as ever. As the piano started playing, Manjiro could feel himself subconsciously stiffening up seeing you in the doorway. You looked simply breathtaking, he almost succumbed to the urge to pinch himself; just to make sure it wasn’t a dream. 

God, how many years had he known you? It has to be at least 10? Maybe 11 or 12 years, if you’re really trying to get specific. The first time Manjiro saw you was when Emma had brought you back to the dojo, introducing you to all of her big brothers. Eyes glistening with pure amazement as you watched him and Keisuke practice. Emma basically had to drag you away from the dojo to get your attention off them.

Those years were long gone, but that didn’t mean that you had ever disappeared from the Sano's life. You became closest with Emma but never turned down an offer to train with Mikey and his friends. Throwing punches and kicks far more impressive than some of the members of Toman themselves. 

As years upon years sped by, what had started off as friendship had developed into more as you developed into adulthood. Manjiro’s eyes, once filled with a childlike admiration, had turned into something more deep, more mature. 

Manjiro only managed to snap out of his reminiscing daydreams when the officiant asked everyone to be seated, allowing them to start the ceremony. You glanced up at him through full lashes, emotional tears slowly forming. The sight made his heart clench, and he resisted the urge to wipe those tears away; less he ruined your perfectly done makeup that must have taken hours.

After the officiant had said their speech, it was Manjiro’s turn for vows. Breathing in a deep breath, he stared into your eyes holding a certain vulnerability in them. 

“Y/n, my love. To think that we stand here together at the altar, it’s something younger Mikey could only dream about. I’m pretty sure anyone who would spend two seconds together with us knew of my little crush on you. Though I didn’t do much to hide it at that time.” He chuckled, looking down with a soft smile, remembering how he used to act like a love struck puppy around you in his early teenage years. 

“Everyday I wake up, and I choose you; I choose us. You are the one person in the world that can handle all of me, so unapologetically. I never thought I would find my perfect match, someone who is so loving and gentle but can still kick my ass in any fight!” Some friends in the crowd started laughing as you looked away, smiling with a mix of embarrassment and pride. 

“I know when I look into your eyes, and see them shining so brightly at me…I know that I made the right choice to hand my entire being over to you. So, Y/n, my love. All I ask is that you take care of me, as I promise to do for you.” 

The words seemed to spill over, as his lips started to wobble. Manjiro had never been one for showing emotion, all his life all he had known was strength. But you were the one person that came crashing through the walls he had spent his whole life building up. 

A breathless chuckle left his lips as Manjiro attempted to blink away the tears. Everything just felt perfect, like something of a fairytale that Shinichiro would read to him and Emma when they were young. 

The ceremony continued on as the crowd quieted down, and you spoke your vows. Manjiro couldn’t help but let a few tears slip down his cheeks, as he gingerly wiped them away. Your words seemed to hit so deep within his heart, as all he could do was swell with love for you. This was the right decision, he had felt it in his entire being. 

“You may now kiss the bride.” 

Manjiro’s eyes fell closed as you leaned in, kissing your newly-wed husband. Cheers erupted in the church as you pulled away from each other, sporting the biggest grins. 

Church bells rung as you grab his hand, pulling him down the aisle. Stopping underneath the door frame, he takes one last long look into your eyes before snaking his arm around your waist. Leaning in close as you’re dipped down into a kiss. 

One hand holding onto your husband, as the other clutches your bouquet. You run down the church stairs as your guests follow suit, emptying the ceremony until only he is left. 

“Mikey?” 

Emma leans against the old wooden door frame, a sleek red dress covered in sequence and matching red heels making her blonde hair pop. She’s only met with silence as Manjiro refuses to meet her eyes, still standing at the altar, head tilted back with his eyes closed. 

“Manjiro?” She calls out again, after a second the only thing that could be heard were Emma’s heels clicking against the floor. She reaches out for Manjiro, hand smoothing over his tuxedo. Biting her lip, she utters a quiet “Are you okay?”. Her whole body feels heavy, overcome with anxiety for her brother, regretting even speaking the words as she already knows the answer. 

“Of course. Just admiring the altar one last time before I headed over to the reception.” Manjiro’s words held a quiet calmness that made Emma feel even more on-edge. “Mikey, it's ok-” “Hey Emma, don’t you think this is just a breathtaking place to hold a wedding? I think so. And did you see Y/n? They looked so beautiful, though it's almost rude to them if I were to compare their beauty to an old building.” 

Though not many people could, Emma could see the hurt swimming in his eyes. The hurt Manjiro tries so hard to hide from everyone, including you. “Keisuke is a lucky man. I’d give anything to be marrying them today. I should go threaten him one more time, just to make sure he knows to be good to them or else I’ll-""Manjiro!” 

Her voice rang through the church seemingly echoing in his mind, promptly silencing him. For the first time since the beginning of the ceremony, Manjiro looked deeply into Emma's worried eyes. He saw her fighting back tears with a tight lip. But all he could give in return was a soft smile. 

“I guess I wasn’t enough for them.” Whispering out as his gaze drifted to the stained glass art hung. “I can never be enough for them.” Manjiro let out a strained chuckle, as Emma stepped forward pulling him into a hug. Her hand ran up and down the lengths of his back in an attempt to calm his breathing. 

The air at the altar felt thick and heavy, as his chest heaved. Dropping his head down on Emma’s shoulder as he gently wrapped his arms around her midsection. “It’s okay Mikey. I’m here, let it out. Please, let it out.” Her soft words seemed to be the final straw as he wept into her shoulder. Choked sobs escaped as just outside the church you pressed a gentle kiss onto Keisuke’s lips, eyes gleaming, smiling up at him in pure adoration and love. 

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[8aji]

tags/cw: hurt/comfort, mentions of major character death, based on this tiktok, peep the love actually reference at the bottom // wc: 300ish

After Shinichiro Sano died, you started to see hearts everywhere.

No matter where you go, you always find at least one. When you go grocery shopping, the cherries in your cart resemble teeny-tiny hearts. During your weekly outings with Wakasa—who, at first, had to practically drag you out of your house where you were cooped up for more than a week after it happened—you run into one particular graffitied wall with hearts sprinkled here and there all over the painting. When you pick up Emma and Mikey from school, the two always point out the heart-shaped clouds that hover over you.

Stickers on lampposts and electricity metres, little pebbles that stick inside your shoes, shiny balloons hovering outside a storefront, the coffee stain on your blouse. A puddle in front of your doorstep after a rainy night—you didn't see it there at first, noticing its existence only after your shoes got soaked, and instead of cursing the whole world for forcing you to change, a tiny crack of your broken heart managed to mend itself once you noticed the shape.

Hearts are everywhere and anywhere, and with their presence, you could feel your sorrows gradually melt away. Layer after layer, the faults within your heart become less and less prominent, until the only thing you could see were the sewn seams of flesh. 

It is comforting in a way. The more of them you encounter, the more you understand that the leaves and the flower petals and the cracks on the pavement, the shadows you cast as you pass by and sprinkles on the cupcakes your friends got you for your birthday when you felt like you couldn't get up. In every wiggly and wavy line—though sometimes they could look abnormally straight—in the dents and creases and slopes and strokes. He was there in every heart you encounter, keeping you company, following you almost like a lost puppy, like he did when he was alive. 

And as time goes by, and the less tangible your heartbreak becomes, you find comfort in the fact that if you look for him hard enough, you will find that his love actually is all around.

© 2022 SHINACHIRO ; Do not repost my work. Do not recommend my work outside of tumblr. Do not translate my work.

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