#tracy k. smith
this 🤝 vievee francis saying the poem won’t be ruined if you let us in
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an old story by Tracy K. Smith
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Duende, Tracy K. Smith
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I am looking inward, You are looking at me.
Quote via. @/petfurniture on Twitter | The Dharma Bums, Jack Kerouac | The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays, Albert Camus | Nine, Sleeping At Last | The Essence of Hope: His Guiding Light, Randy Burns | Oak Tree Towering Prescence, Tatyana Fogarty | The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoevsky | Don't You Wonder Sometimes?, Tracy K. Smith | Quote via. Roland Barthes | The Bug Collector, Haley Heynderickx | The Cottar's Pride - a Cottage Garden, Henry Sutton Palmer | Bitter Herb, Erica Jong | 1884, George Orwell
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In an alternative universe, i can imagine another version of myself
one in a stable relationship happy in the arms of a lover.
Toned down paranoia, and Indulgent pleasure.
I worry that that version of me is delusional
in love, but alone in it that I’ll somehow miss the signs of an emotionally absent partner the way I missed my father…
And yet, I’ll come up with excuses because I never felt comfortable with pointing my finger
that I’ll overcompensate.. Nest in the apex of their heart and believe that there’s no way higher
that the hierarchy is nothing but guilt inducing anger.
It's easy to love me;
i grew up in a household where it's acceptable to sacrifice your own soul in exchange of feeling like your existence is convenient.
As years went by, I learned to love that feeling eventually more than life itself..
i lost a lot of myself watching my mother hand feed me all that she is, all that she wanted to be, then sneak bites of who she was before she had me..
now, i think i can be whoever a lover needs me to be.
Then when they’re not around I’ll let my pieces fall down and hope that somehow they’ll align…
this terrifies me...
I don't want to settle and passive smoke my own life, set in the corner and inhale the damage even when it isn't mine.
I love love, I just don’t think it’s for me...
In a lecture about addiction, our doctor said
“The neurobiology of love is the same as neurobiology of addiction"
To me, that makes sense for i lose all my edges whenever I'm submerged in a wave of it.
My ends melt trying desperately to reach out even when i don't really know how to direct them to anyone other than myself
Paint them orbits to circle around me and feed them rays of hope
"our paranoia won't last forever"
At least that's what I whisper as i try to keep them close enough, not too much;
I don't want eternity
“I only wanna die someday”
I wrap them around me every night until i suffocate in an embrace trying to comfort all the atoms of love that are lost in me...
I’ll come to an end; and you'll be free.
•••
•Quotes: Roland Barthes/ Angelea Lowes/ Anaïs Nin/Mahmoud Darwish/Mary Oliver/ Ottessa Moshfegh/Elaine Kahn/ Natalie Wee/Carole Maso/Tracy K. Smith/Halsey/chelsea g. summers/ Anne Sexton.
•Original context: sinligh
•Art reference:
1. Art by Lisa Lach-Nielsen. 2.Quoted, 2008, oil on linen by Jen Mazza. 3. Choke, 2008, oil on linen by Jen Mazza. 4. Ceruse 87, 2008, oil on linen by Jen Mazza. 5. A girl with pomegranate (detail) by William-Adolphe Bouguereau. 6. An Interior with a woman seated by Lampligt by Christian Valdemar Clause Danish. 7. Photo by Soul Eom. 8. "two people" by Mila Plaickner. 9.Art by Lisa Lach-Nielsen
P.s: writing this felt like:
“It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me”
Song rec:
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My God, It’s Full of Stars
by Tracy K. Smith
In those last scenes of Kubrick’s 2001
When Dave is whisked into the center of space,
Which unfurls in an aurora of orgasmic light
Before opening wide, like a jungle orchid
For a love-struck bee, then goes liquid,
Paint-in-water, and then gauze wafting out and off,
Before, finally, the night tide, luminescent
And vague, swirls in, and on and on…
In those last scenes, as he floats
Above Jupiter’s vast canyons and seas,
Over the lava strewn plains and mountains
Packed in ice, that whole time, he doesn’t blink.
In his little ship, blind to what he rides, whisked
Across the wide-screen of unparcelled time,
Who knows what blazes through his mind?
Is it still his life he moves through, or does
That end at the end of what he can name?
On set, it’s shot after shot till Kubrick is happy,
Then the costumes go back on their racks
And the great gleaming set goes black.
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tracy k. smith life on mars: “the universe: original motion picture soundtrack”
support me
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"Ash", Tracy K. Smith
Strange house we must keep and fill.
House that eats and pleads and kills.
House on legs. House on fire. House infested
With desire. Haunted house. Lonely house.
House of trick and suck and shrug.
Give-it-to-me house. I-need-you-baby house.
House whose rooms are pooled with blood.
House with hands. House of guilt. House
That other houses built. House of lies
And pride and bone. House afraid to be alone.
House like an engine that churns and stalls.
House with skin and hair for walls.
House the seasons singe and douse.
House that believes it is not a house.
Published in the print edition of the November 23, 2015, issue.
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Tracy K. Smith, “Song”
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Duende, Tracy K. Smith
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Bridget Riley & Tracy K. Smith
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La tierra bajo nosotros. La tierra
alrededor y encima. La tierra
empujando hacia arriba contra nuestras casas,
cómplice de la gravedad. La tierra
sin edad, viéndonos erguirnos y acurrucarnos.
Nuestras espadas, nuestros bueyes, las líneas dentadas
que surcamos en la tierra. La tierra
sesgada y dividida en territorios
saboteada y llena de hoyos. Taponada con fuerza.
Trampeada. La tierra se marca con minas,
paciente, esperando su momento. La tierra
flotando en la oscuridad, suspendida en el giro.
La tierra a toda velocidad alrededor del sol.
La tierra a la que nos subimos con incredulidad.
La tierra que saqueamos como ladrones.
La tierra cubierta de lodo en el vientre
de un pueblo sin comida. Enterrándonos.
La tierra que se desprende de nuestros zapatos.
- Tracy K. Smith, de Vida en Marte. Vaso Roto Poesía. Traducción de Luna Miguel.
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“Haunted house. Lonely house. House of trick and suck and shrug. Give-it-to-me house. I-need-you-baby house. House whose rooms are pooled with blood. House with hands. House of guilt. House that other houses built.”
Ash by Tracy K. Smith
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The United States Welcomes You by Tracy K. Smith, from Wade in the Water
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