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#traesh
turianosauruswrex · 7 months
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You are the rightful inheritor of your grandfather's legacy; you have learned more of murder and death in your time hidden among the people of the Sword Coast than they could ever hope to know hidden away under Moonrise Towers; their pride will be their downfall. They are the flesh of the Bhaal-Father but you, you understand the world in a way they never will. It should have been you.
Please join me in the Orin the Red brainrot. I'm obsessed with her and so I humbly present to you: this fic. Big ol' spoiler warning for the Dark Urge so keep that in mind.
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kudzucataclysm · 1 year
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hello sudden random influx of new followers welcome to my trash pile
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zangoonse · 2 years
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Do.. do you day crayon in one syllable?
this is the one thing about my accent that i'll admit objectively makes no sense. i am slightly ashamed to admit that i color with crans
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scheduled bitch session
there;s whispers in the HALLS OF a ma n comin to toowwn he wears a white vest and carries the sea on his back his nameo is ian and HE'S comin to get me class is canceleed so we hide in our homes wai tin for big ian to arrive he leavees destructiaon in his PATH LIKE a mercenary wi thout a causse idk who; s comin to GET me idk if i;ll need TO be save d if io have to leaave i caen only take whatt i can car ry but my tttiny liittle arms are sso tired fromm THE weight of my heavy heart the men ion whiteo are nothin new i;;ve always been fascinated in theiir ways as a ccch ild iu reis eaurch ed their creation and found a body on google IMAGE search i was 9 but ka trina didn;;t care and ian won;;;t care either im clo seu r toa the sea than ever mmmakin ttthe mistakkke of leavin the mountain;;;s lovin arms washin away ian a new land i need to go to the store i nnneed to buy water a ppperson needs a gallonnn a day that;;s eight water bottles a 24-pack will be enough foer me should i get a gallon instead i hate to wwwaste pl astic maybe this is the ocean;s reveng e f or all the traesh we made buet it;;s an endless cycle of cy clones recyccled and i ho pe we;;;re safe and i know ia wiall be but i;;m still scareid
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thornsnvultures · 2 years
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oh good. I love going to post something new and hating it at the last second. it's traesh. it sUCKS.
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grandpagrips · 6 years
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baconspice · 5 years
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*to the tune of smile bomb*
I’M YU YU HAK-U-SHO TRAAAASH
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lilnasxvevo · 5 years
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Oh no I only have two months of college left and I plumb forgot to have a torrid affair with a professor
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turianosauruswrex · 4 years
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Vulpes? 🐶
MY BASTARD BOY
How I feel about this character:Horrid. Bastard. Evil nightmare man. On a moral level I hate him but from a character standpoint he’s fascinating. He has a paragraph of information in canon and one of the best times of my life has been filling in all those gaps with headcanon that forms a lot of my love for the character. I love me a good and irredeemable villain and Vulpes is one of those.
All the people I ship romantically with this character:No one he deserves nothing.
My non-romantic OTP for this character:He deserves no friendships but I wrote him as having a particularly intense arch-nemesis-ish relationship with my Legion Courier Jules McAllister, plus in that AU he has a terrible family relationship with his cousin Lex (that’s @randamhajile’s OC!). Their relationship isn’t terrible, they’re actually quite close. It’s just they’re both terrible. But no, nothing based in canon lol.
My unpopular opinion about this character:He’s not hot? He’s not attractive in any way shape or form? Nothing about him is appealing? Every day I track his tag is a new struggle wtf
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:More content tbh, he’s scary and as with all canon Legion content I wish there was more.
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kudzucataclysm · 1 year
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traesh
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deestrouble · 6 years
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I think I did that tagged post thing wrong :(
Sorry I’m bad at tumblr. Com
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thotantics · 4 years
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✗ warnings — graphic sexual content, do not read if you’re underage, dirty talk, begging, noona kink bc im still traesh, oral sex (male receiving), gagging, choking, driving under the influence of incredible mind blowing mouth love (seriously ALWAYS DRIVE SAFELY AND OBEY THE RULES OF THE ROAD)
✎ words —   1.6k
[A/N] @ the anon who said they’re always a slut for jungkook when he whines ‘noona’. bitch me too, the fuck
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You stir awake with that distinct, groggy, I-just-napped-way-too-long feeling, groaning as your adjust to your surroundings. It’s late. Very, very late. You’re not at your place but instead, at your boyfriend’s and he’s still asleep, curled up behind you. Blearily, you blink over your shoulder at him, the big spoon.
“Jungoo,” You coo, shifting in his vice-like grip until you turn in his arms to face him. “Baby~ we fell asleep.”
He cracks one eye open to see you smiling at him, your fingers pushing his hair away from his forehead, and he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, mumbling with a low, half-asleep voice, “Hm, awesome. Lets stay asleep.”
You chuckle, using all your strength to bend your knees, pushing against his thighs and chest until you can untangle yourself from him and stand, despite his muffled, grumbled protests and his hands pawing at you to keep you near.
“Babe, I need to get home, I have work in the morning and so much to finish before I can do that.” You remind him, tapping his phone laying on the coffee table so the lock screen flashes with the time, and you groan, “Baaaabe! Wake up, please. It’s past midnight.”
Jungkook flips from his side to his back at that, stretching his limbs out along the length of the couch, his eyes finally cracking open again to see you rushing around his place to gather your things.
“Ok, ok.” He finally manages to get off the couch with an old-man grunt, stretching his lower back briefly before he snags his car keys, wallet, and phone from the coffee table. “You ready?”
Jungkook helps you take your things out to his car with countless yawns, and eventually you’re on the road headed back to your place, each with a Red Bull in hand.
You’re buzzing from the time wasted asleep on your boyfriend’s couch, but honestly the day you had spent together was worth it, even if you had little sleep tonight and a possible late start in the morning. Jungkook had picked you up for a simple date late that afternoon. You were supposed to hit up a theater that he had been wanting to take you to, and then he was supposed to take you back to your place for dinner, but, somewhere along the way your plans changed. Probably somewhere between you beating Jungkook at a game of air hockey in a nearby arcade and him throwing you up against the wall by the bathrooms and kissing you breathless in retaliation.
Regardless, your date had lasted way too long. You couldn’t be mad about it, not when you had such a good time. And apparently you were exhausted and needed to sleep, anyway. But you could still blame that on Jungkook. He had been the one to suggest you unwind a bit before you head home for dinner by watching Netflix and cuddling on the couch and sharing a bag of popcorn.
It was less than half an hour’s drive on the highway from his place to yours, especially if you were using Jungkook’s Mercedes instead of your old reliable. Your boyfriend had a special playlist for late night drives, because of course he does, and he has music playing softly within two minutes of the drive. You lean back in your seat, legs tucked up against the middle console, and turn to watch him as he sings along, thinking seriously about falling back to sleep.
Jungkook, glancing over when he notices your change of position, reaches across and lays a hand on your lap, palm up, fingers reaching/wiggling until you place your hand in his. The atmosphere is quiet, even with the music and his voice singing softly, the windows cracked to let just a little bit of the cool, night air in. You’re blinking slower and slower as one song fades into the next, and Jungkook glances over at you before he speaks.
“You know, you never paid me back.” He says this matter-of-factly, like you’re supposed to know what exactly he’s referring to, but you frown over at him because you definitely have no idea. “For earlier.” He offers with another quick glance from the road to look at you.
“What do you mean?” You ask, sitting up more in your chair and planting your feet back in the floor.
“How many times did I make you cum on my tongue?” He asks you. “And my fingers at least once, too?” He clicks his tongue, “Ah, it’s a shame our relationship is so one-sided these days.” He sighs, one corner of his mouth lifting in a smile even as he tuts at you.
You laugh at him, slapping his hand on your lap, “Hey, nobody asked you to do all that! You’re that extra all on your own!” You fold your arms defensively across your chest, “Besides, a healthy sex-life doesn’t work on a trading system anyway, Jungkook!”
“How does that saying go? Something about...you mouth my genitals and I’ll mouth yours?”
You bust out laughing, “I think it was more about scratching backs but, point taken.” You say with an eye roll.
You notice right away he’s fumbling with his belt, one handed, a proud smile on his lips and you quickly yell at him, “Ten and two!”
“Then help me out?” He suggests, shifting his tailbone back and spreading his thighs to give you easier access to the front of his jeans.
“What do you think you’re doing?” You ask him.
“C’mon`~” He glances over at you long enough to give you those sweet puppy-dog eyes and you reply with a firm shake of your head. “Noona~” He whines, “You said you would..”
“I will.” You reply, “When you aren’t operating a couple thousand pounds worth of metal going 60mph on an open highway!”
“Noona.” Jungkook emphasizes the endearment, the one he knows makes you weakest for him, “I promise I’ll keep both hands and eyes on the road and all of my mirrors. There’s no other vehicles around, no houses, nobody who could see us or make this drive any less safe.” Then he glances back over at you, pouty lips and big, sparkling eyes and he can’t stop himself from breaking into a wide grin even as he asks you sweetly, “Please~”
Dammit. He’s much too persuasive and you are way too easily persuaded, so you glance briefly around the parameter of the car, don’t notice any other headlights, so you slip out of your seat belt.
“If you thought I owed you, oh my god the sexual debt you’re in after this.” You tell him even as you shift into your seat on your knees.
But Jungkook doesn’t care, he’s absolutely beaming, using one hand to continue fumbling with the button of his jeans but you slap his hand away and do it yourself, reminding him with a quickly muttered, “Ten and two.”
He’s so excited at the prospect, he’s rock solid already when you free him from his jeans. He scoots lower in his seat, adjusting it so you have plenty of room to lean your front half over his lap, his elbow resting on the middle of your back and his hand gripping your hair, pushing your head down on his erection.
“Fuuuck, that’s it.” He groans, gripping the steering wheel with both hands and flexing his hips as your mouth envelopes his cock. “Ah, I love your mouth so much, baby.”
You hum in response, adjusting your position until you’re able to get him farther down your throat but at the exact wrong moment, because he hits a minor bump in the road and suddenly the head of him rams the back of your throat for a second, making you gag noisily on him and pull back, startled and out of breath.
“Sorry,” He mumbles, “I saw it, I couldn’t miss it.” He strokes your hair gently, hips flexing up so his cock head nudges against your lips, “Please, noona...it felt so good. I need to cum, really quickly, ok? Please~ keep going~”
The way he begs is like music to your ears, and you duck back down into his lap, mouth open and tongue out, slurping and swallowing and bobbing around his thick, solid dick. Jungkook’s a moaning mess under you, gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles are white. He’s practically singing your praises as you work him, panting and rolling his hips with every shift of your head back away from him.
“Make me cum,” He grunts, voice low and desperate. You suck him hard, hallowing your cheeks, making obscene slurping noises as your hand reaches forward to massage his balls through the material of his boxers still in the way. Eyes opening, you notice the fabric is wet from drool and precum and you pull back, admiring the red tip of his cock right when he starts to cum.
Jungkook gasps, bucks, shoots you directly in the eye, and then one of his hands forces your head back down onto his spurting cock, finishing with a cry of your name down the back of your throat. With cum in your eye and sputtering out of the corners of your mouth, you choke on him but it doesn’t last long. He releases you with a panted apology, and then a laugh when he sees the way you’re squinting and grimacing as you pull away from his lap and settle back into your seat, fumbling for a napkin or a wet wipe.
Jungkook is still rock hard even as he laughs, sputtering apologies that you know he doesn’t really mean because he’s clearly enjoying himself way too much at your expense. You can’t be mad at him though, at least, not once you manage to get his sperm out of your eye and you can properly see his handsome face beaming back at you from the driver’s seat.
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1doubleoh · 7 years
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So far, my pity rate on the new banner has been broken by Oscar and then a 5-star Abel. I mean, yay Swordbreaker 3, but blue cavalry units must reeeeeaaallly not want me to have Nephenee.  
HER ART IS SO SOFT AND PLEASING, THOUGH. Nephenee, Effie, Hinoka, and Hawkeye’s illustrations are some of my favorites. 
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grandpagrips · 6 years
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John Scatman
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