#tranquil's winter studying challenge | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aalissy · 11 months

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Winter Refuge

Day 10 is doneee!! And it’s a continuation of yesterday’s chapter so you should read that one first :). The prompts were too intertwined to not do another chapter haha. I hope you enjoy this lil bit of Marichat fluff!

AO3

Marinette nestled further into Chat Noir’s arms as the movie began to play. A comfortable, cozy silence surrounded the two teens. Their attention was captured by the animated characters and the heartwarming story unfolding before them.

Currently, they were watching Frozen which seemed fitting for the weather outside. Sneaking another glance outside, Marinette kept in her annoyed groan at the sight of the snow that was still falling down upon Paris. She really hoped that it stopped soon. Especially before school tomorrow.

With a shiver, she leaned further back against her partner, letting his laugh warm her chills. Unable to stop herself, she stole a glance back at Chat. It really was wonderful to hear him chuckle. He was one of the only people who was able to warm her up whenever the cold got to be too much, as both Marinette and Ladybug.

Lost in her thoughts, Marinette began to absent-mindedly trace circles on Chat's hand with her fingertips, enjoying the gentle touch. He seemed to stiffen slightly at the motion before he slowly relaxed, melting into her hold. A quiet purr filled the air and Marinette couldn’t help but smile at the sound. He was such a cat sometimes. It was super adorable.

As the movie continued on, though, she felt her eyes slowly grow heavy once again. It was a struggle to simply keep them open. But she wanted to stay awake. Wanted to stay up and finish watching the movie with Chat’s quiet purrs lulling her. But, those purrs were steadily lulling her into a state of sleepiness.

Unable to stop herself, Marinette cuddled even closer towards Chat's comforting presence, feeling safe and protected in his arms. The events of the day melted away, replaced by a sense of tranquility and belonging. Finally, she was getting the sleep that she had been so desperately craving and wanting since she had first woken up that morning.

Sleeping as she was, she missed when Chat glanced down at her, studying her peaceful expression and the way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks. She also missed how his face softened, a sweet grin on his lips that was saved just for her.

When the movie ended, and the credits began to roll on the screen, Chat gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face. She began to stir, her drowsy eyes blinking open at the touch. Stretching her arms wide, Marinette gave a loud yawn. When she was fully awake, she looked up at Chat, her gaze filling with warmth and gratitude.

"Did I fall asleep?" she asked, her voice soft and sleepy. With a small furrow of her brow, Marinette looked at the computer to see the credits rolling. "Did I miss the movie, too?"

Chat snickered at her, his emerald eyes sparkling with affection. "Just a little bit towards the end."

“Oops,” Marinette giggled with a shrug of her shoulders.

His chin nestled into her shoulder, his arms squeezing tight around her waist. Marinette’s eyes closed, a shiver racing up her spine at the feeling. This was absolutely wonderful. What a perfect refuge from the winter storm.

They stayed entwined in each other's arms, relishing in the tranquility of the moment. Outside, the snow continued to fall, casting a serene blanket over the city of Paris. The world may have been cold and unpredictable at the moment, but Marinette had found solace in the warmth of her relationship with Chat Noir.

In the midst of their embrace, Marinette felt a surge of gratitude for the bond she shared with Chat Noir. He was more than just a partner; he was her confidant, her rock, and someone who made her feel truly understood. Together, they had faced countless challenges and triumphed over formidable adversaries. But it was moments like these, the quiet interludes amidst the chaos, that reminded her of the depth of their connection.

As the snowflakes continued to paint the city in a glistening white, Marinette couldn't help but let her mind wander to the future. In the midst of their cuddling session, she realized something. She was completely, and utterly in love with him. There was no more hiding behind her feelings for Adrien anymore. She could no longer push her love aside for fears of the future. Her heart was too swelled with love for him.

It had crept up on her slowly. Unlike her feelings for Adrien, which had felt more like a thunderclap, her love for Chat felt like a blossoming flower. Slow, but when it bloomed, it was utterly beautiful.

Lost in her thoughts, Marinette realized that Chat’s purring had ceased, replaced by a gentle hush that permeated the room. She glanced up to find him gazing at her intently, his emerald eyes filled with an emotion she couldn't quite decipher. It was a mixture of tenderness, longing, and something else she couldn't put into words.

Either way, the emotion in his gaze caused her heart to squeeze in her chest. Like it knew something that she didn’t yet.

"Marinette," he began, his voice soft but filled with conviction, "I want you to know that you mean the world to me. You've always been there, making me want to come to you whether I’m sad and lonely or just plain happy. And... well, I've come to realize that my feelings for you run deeper than I ever imagined."

Marinette's heart skipped a beat as she absorbed his words. How lucky could she possibly be? Right here, right now, when she had first realized that her feelings for Chat Noir were suddenly unavoidably, he had confessed too.

Euphoria built up in her chest with his words. A warm blush spread across her cheeks, lighting them up a soft pink. Sitting up straight, the last of Marinette’s sleepiness faded away and she found herself unable to tear her gaze away from his.

"Chat," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the crackling of the fireplace. "I feel the exact same way. You've always been my best friend. But lately, I've started to see you in a new and different light. I've started to realize that... I might be falling in love with you too."

As her words hung in the air, an electric energy began to envelop them. The room seemed to hold its breath, waiting for their next move. Marinette could see hope and vulnerability in Chat’s eyes, and at that moment, she knew that taking the leap of faith was worth the risk.

With a surge of courage, she closed the distance between them, her hand finding its way to his cheek. Their lips met in a gentle, tentative kiss, conveying years of unspoken emotions and a promise of what was yet to come. It was a moment that sealed their fate, intertwining their lives even further.

In that quiet room, embraced by the warmth of their love, Marinette and Chat Noir discovered a new chapter in their story. The snow continued to fall outside, but within their hearts, a flame burned bright and unwavering. They were ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead, knowing that together, they were unstoppable.

As the night unfolded, their laughter and whispers filled the room, stopping only when the two engaged in another sweet kiss. They had found solace in each other, and as the snowflakes danced outside, two hearts united, ready to weather the storms of life, side by side.

#marichatmay2023 #marichatmay #marichat #love square #miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #miraculous #sleepy marinette is sleepy #ml fic #fic #fanfic #love confessions #kisses

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natureartandimpressionsim · 5 months

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WINTER IN PARIS:

Winter's coldness is descending in the city of love,

As the Eiffel Tower is adorned in frost.

The Seine begins to form its waves,

They are covered by tri-colored leaves.

Gardens and parks, once filled with green

Now it is grey and tranquil.

The statues that were once filled with life,

Are now frozen in the dark.

As the outside gets colder,

Cafés embrace warmth with mugs of warm drinks,

Covering in blankets of silk,

A taste of warmth and love, giving a cozy feel.

As the Parisian skies gets cloudier,

The streets are showered with the rain.

In Paris even in cold,

The warmth of love will never fade.

"The landscape painter must study and observe throughout his life; he should never lose the opportunity to consult nature, with always a crayon in his hand." Lecarpentier, 1817. This quotation from The Work of Art: Plein Air Painting and Artistic Identity in Nineteenth-Century France by Anthea Callen was significant and played an essential role in my project development. In the project, as earlier stated, we decided to challenge ourselves and try to impersonate either painters or poems. I developed the poem to get out of my comfort zone, and my partner drew a painting. This quote refers to the importance of a painter always observing and studying nature throughout their life. In the project, I did not have to observe nature to paint but rather to write about it, and I felt it was, as the quote described, very fundamental to study it for a long time with a pen and a notebook in my hand. While developing the project, it took me a few days, maybe weeks, to get inspiration. I would walk around the beautiful city of Paris and write a few ideas about the weather and how the weather was affecting my emotional state. If it was raining, I felt very sad and nostalgic for warmer days; when it was windy, I would observe how the trees would aggressively move and get angry myself; when it was a bit warmer, or at least I felt a bit more cozy indoors I would feel at home and happier. Additionally, I would walk around and observe nature in the city; I would sit in parks and see the absence of color in the city. This inspired me to write a poem about nature in Paris and to sound more like what I felt then. I was also inspired by the text written by Henry David Thoreau in The Journal of 1837-1861. "Nov. 12. It is much the coldest day yet, and the ground is a little frozen and resounds under my tread. All people move the brisker for the cold yet are braced and a little elated by it. They love to say, "Cold day, sir." Though the days are shorter, you get more work out of a hired man than before, for he must work to keep warm." I related to this text, and it felt very similar to what I was feeling and wanted to write; the text felt sad as it talked about being in colder weather and the days getting shorter. A painting that inspired me as I was writing the poem was Claude Monet's Ice Breaking, Grey Weather, 1880. This painting portrayed a very sad and melancholy feel; it felt very dramatic and, simultaneously, very tranquil. Monet focuses on the river in this painting and shows the connection between snow and water, which I also tried to focus on in my poem, speaking about the river's movement and the frost in the Eiffel Tower. This painting, for me, also seems very lonely, as it is a very quiet landscape with naked trees. I tried to portray what I felt about this painting in words in my poem, as winter for me, feels like this image. As I was writing the poem, It made me fall in love with Paris and its nature all over again. Nowadays, I'm not used to being outside as much or enjoying and observing nature firsthand, as we can see everything in social media or images inside our houses. Going out to get inspiration and write the poem enriched me and made me appreciate nature even more.

Claude Monet's Ice Breaking, Grey Weather, 1880

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tranquilstudy · 1 year

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November 2 | tranquil’s study challenge ⛄️

Grateful for the start of winter — and (more importantly) the start of soup season. Yay for cozy and hearty meals 🍲

When did you create your study blog or tumblr account? Why did you create it? Has the blog fulfilled the goals you've set out to accomplish so far?

I’ll be honest, I don’t know when I started this account — I’ve lost track of time haha. However, I did start it to track my university journey and to connect with other people that are in this stage of their life (the stage of not really knowing where their life is going haha). It’s definitely fulfilled this and I’m glad to know and connect with all of you.

🎧 shut up and drive - rihanna

#studyblr #studyspo #study motivation #study hard #studygram #studyspiration #study tips #studystudystudy #studywithme #study vault #tranquilfallbuddies

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skyonfilm · 1 year

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🍂 12 NOV 22 | 土曜�� 🍂 tranquil's fall study challenge

-☕-

🍂 day 29 - the end of the challenge so it’s time to reflect! i’m very proud of you for completing this challenge so give yourself a high-five! where are you in your life now that you’ve finished this challenge? have you made any friends or discovered any new blogs during this challenge or because of this challenge? if so, tag them below!

its sooooo nice being active on here again after the uni burnout!!! this is the first challenge i've finished in a few months (excluding the 100dop) so i feel proud of myself for keeping up with it. i hope that i will stay regularly active again during winter... fingers crossed.

a few blogs i discovered include @learnelle @a-moth-to-the-light and the creator of this challenge @tranquilstudy 💖

congrats to everyone else who has completed the challenge!!!!

-☕-

🎵 we fresh - kep1er

#skystudiees #studyblr #tranquilfallbuddies #blog #study blog #study mood #study space #study motivation #study inspiration #studyspiration #studyspo #film studyblr #langblr #japanese langblr #japanese study #beginner japanese #study challenge

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ezyfitshutters · 2 years

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7 Reasons Why You Must Install Roller Shutter

Although there are various ways to secure your home, installing roller shutters is one of the best options. Shutters make it challenging for burglars and intruders to remove them because they are closely fitted to windows. Because of this reason, shutters were commonly installed in the past solely for security purposes. Back in the day, shutters looked heavy and industrial, leaving your home feeling safer but looking unappealing. However, with the multiple sleek options available in roller shutters, more and more people are getting premium roller shutters installed in cities like Perth. Not just that, people are also taking the route of DIY roller shutter installations in the last ten years with significant development in the roller shutter industry.

Let’s understand why.

1) Roller shutters deter burglars

Stolen goods aren’t the loss incurred in a burglary. Loss can also come in the form of damage to property, damage to a business’ reputation or even real estate value because of the “unsafe” tag. At EzyFit DIY roller shutters, we recommend investing in security roller shutters in Australian cities like Perth. Installing roller shutters can lessen the damage to your property as it creates an almost impenetrable shield over your windows. Also, unlike CCTV cameras and alarms, shutters are preventive instead of reparative. They prevent break-ins from happening instead of raising an alarm or helping connect the dots after the event has taken place. Apart from acting as a psychological deterrent, roller shutters can actually delay the break-in by a precious few minutes where the break-in can catch someone’s attention and the police be informed.

2) Roller shutters reduce unwanted outside noise

Did you know noise from heavy traffic, fireworks, even ambulances and fire trucks can go as loud as 120 decibels? Prolonged exposure to noise above 70 decibels may start to damage your hearing. So, if you have kids or pets at home or if you want to simply enjoy your leisure time in peace, investing in roller shutter is almost a no-brainer.

With our DIY roller shutters now available in Perth, as well as, all across Australia you can reduce the noises disturbing you at your home or business by up to 75%! Whether you live next to a bustling school or across the street from a busy road, these shutters are designed to minimise audible noise levels to create your home or office into the peaceful shelter of tranquillity that it was meant to be.

3) Roller shutters control extra outside light

Want to sleep during the day but have trouble doing so due to the light from the windows? Working the night shift and finding it difficult to get a restful night’s sleep during the day? If your answer to either was yes, then our sun protection roller shutters have got you covered, quite literally! With these roller shutters, property owners can control the amount of natural light that enters the room through windows. Any room can be brightened up or experience a complete black out by rolling the shutters up and down. Unlike curtains or blinds, sun protection roller shutters made from aluminium are completely opaque and closely fit over windows, allowing no light to pass through, unless rolled up.

4) Roller shutters insulate homes & offices

According to studies, up to 70% of hot air and 30% of cool air is lost through your windows. This happens both through surface transmission and through the tiny gaps between wall and ill-fitted windows. Heated air escapes your homes (and offices) during the winter months, while the cool air-conditioned air of your home plots an escape through the windows in the summer months. Combined with rising fuel prices, your energy bill just keeps soaring up higher and higher every season. But with EzyFit DIY roller shutters, the finest manufacturer of premium roller shutters in Australia, you can save up to 40% on your heating and cooling costs. To get started, order and install our insulated aluminium roller shutters on your property and then sit back, relax and let the shutters do the rest of the work.

#Install Roller Shutter #Roller Shutter #premium roller shutters #Perth #DIY roller shutter installations #sun protection roller shutters #australia

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sambhavimmigrationca · 4 months

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Is Canada Right for You? 5 Factors to Consider Before Applying for a Student Visa

5 Factors to Consider Before Applying for a Student Visa

Ah, Canada! Land of maple syrup, breathtaking landscapes, and endless opportunities.

It's no wonder many students dream of pursuing their education in this welcoming and vibrant country.

But before you pack your toque and hockey jersey, it's essential to ask yourself a crucial question: Is Canada right for you?

Moving to a new country for your studies is a big decision, and choosing the right destination can significantly impact your academic and personal journey.

While Canada might seem like the picture-perfect student haven, it's essential to consider all aspects before taking the plunge.

This guide will delve into five key factors you should ponder before applying for that Canadian student visa:

1. Academic Aspirations:

Canada boasts a top-notch education system with world-renowned universities and colleges offering diverse programs across various disciplines. But finding the perfect academic fit is crucial. Research institutions that align with your interests and career goals.

Do your research: Explore university websites, attend virtual open houses, and connect with current students or alums to get a firsthand feel for the academic environment.

Program specificities: Consider factors like program curriculum, faculty expertise, internship opportunities, and research facilities.

Cost and scholarships: Tuition fees in Canada can vary significantly. Research scholarship options and financial aid possibilities to ensure your education remains affordable.

2. Financial Feasibility:

Living and studying in Canada doesn't come cheap. Tuition fees, living expenses, and healthcare costs can add up quickly. Be realistic about your financial situation and plan accordingly.

Budgeting is vital: Create a detailed budget factoring in tuition, accommodation, food, transportation, and other miscellaneous expenses.

Proof of funds: You'll need to demonstrate financial stability to obtain a student visa. This may involve providing bank statements or evidence of scholarships.

Employment options: International students in Canada are often allowed to work part-time. Explore on-campus jobs or student visa work permit options to supplement your income.

3. Cultural Compatibility:

Canada is a multicultural mosaic, celebrating diversity and inclusivity. However, adapting to a new culture can be challenging. Consider your personality and preferences before making the leap.

Language: Canada is officially bilingual, with English and French dominating. Assess your language skills and consider enrolling in language courses if needed.

Lifestyle: Canadian culture generally values informality, friendliness, and outdoor activities. Research the lifestyle in your chosen city or region to see if it resonates with you.

Community support: Many universities offer dedicated resources and support services for international students. Research what kind of support network is available and how you can get involved in the community.

4. Climate and Geography:

From the majestic Rocky Mountains to the stunning Atlantic coast, Canada's diverse landscapes offer something for everyone. But be prepared for significant seasonal variations, especially if you're coming from a warmer climate.

Embrace the cold: Canada experiences all four seasons, with harsh winters in many regions. Invest in warm clothing and prepare for winter activities like skiing or ice skating.

Travel opportunities: Canada's vast size offers incredible travel possibilities. Consider your proximity to desired destinations and transportation options when choosing your study location.

Urban or rural: Do you thrive in the hustle and bustle of a city or prefer the tranquillity of a smaller town? Choose a location that aligns with your lifestyle preferences.

5. Post-Graduation Prospects:

Studying in Canada can open doors to exciting career opportunities. Research job markets, immigration pathways, and post-graduation work permit options to maximize your chances of staying and building a future in the country.

Network actively: Connect with professors, industry professionals, and fellow students. Building a network can lead to valuable internships and job opportunities after graduation.

Immigration pathways: Explore different immigration programs that may allow you to transition from student to permanent resident after graduation.

Job market research: Research job markets in your field of study and identify potential employers in your chosen region. This will help you tailor your academic pursuits and prepare for future career success.

Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of whether Canada is right for you. By carefully considering these five factors and conducting thorough research, you can make an informed decision that aligns with your academic aspirations, financial situation, cultural preferences, and long-term goals.

If you still have questions please contact an Immigration Expert in Canada to simplify the process and get your student visa in Canada.

#canada #immigration #student visa #student visa consultant #immigration expert

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europeincomingei · 8 months

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Exquisite Swiss Destination Weddings and Unforgettable European Student Trips

Introduction: Switzerland delivers magnificent experiences, whether for a romantic destination wedding or an exciting student vacation, with its dreamy scenery, charming cities, and everlasting memories. In this blog, we'll look at the enchantment of a destination wedding in Switzerland as well as the fascinating adventures that await students on their excursions around Europe.

Destination Wedding in Switzerland : A Fairytale Affair Consider exchanging vows in front of snow-capped peaks, tranquil lakes, and lovely villages. The natural splendor of Switzerland sets the backdrop for an amazing wedding that couples and guests will remember for a lifetime. From the breathtaking Swiss Alps to the tranquil shores of Lake Geneva, the country has a wide choice of wedding locations to suit all tastes and preferences.

1. Alpine Elegance: A romantic winter wonderland wedding in the Swiss Alps is a magnificent backdrop. Consider saying "I do" in a snug wooden cottage situated among snow-capped hills, followed by a reception featuring hearty Swiss cuisine and warm mulled wine.

2. Lakeside Attractions: Lake Geneva and Lake Lucerne provide a lovely setting for a lakeside wedding. The crystal-clear lakes, old castles, and lush gardens provide a romantic atmosphere ideal for couples looking for a dream wedding.

3. Urban Chic: For individuals who enjoy cityscapes, places such as Zurich, Basel, and Bern provide a mix of urban sophistication with historical beauty. Weddings in picturesque chapels followed by receptions in sophisticated downtown venues can create a one-of-a-kind and unforgettable event.

Student Trips Europe: A Once-In-A-Lifetime Experience Europe is a cultural, historical, and exciting playground for students. A trip across Europe is an opportunity to not only learn but also to create memories that will last a lifetime.

1. Cultural Immersion: From the art museums of Paris to the historic alleyways of Rome, Europe is a cultural treasure trove. Students can investigate the origins of Western civilisation, study classics of art and architecture, and become immersed in languages and traditions other than their own.

2. Broadened Horizons: Students' viewpoints are broadened by traveling to different places and meeting people from various walks of life. It promotes adaptation, open-mindedness, and a better grasp of global challenges.

3. Memorable Bonds: Student excursions are about more than just the places you see; they are also about the friendships you establish. Classmates form close ties as a result of their shared experiences, late-night talks, and collaborative endeavors.

Leaving a Legacy in Switzerland and Europe Switzerland and the continent as a whole have much to offer, whether you're a couple looking for a spectacular destination wedding or a student eager to explore Europe's riches. Switzerland's natural beauty and different wedding sites provide the stage for a dream wedding, while Europe's rich history and cultural diversity make for an unforgettable backdrop for student travels. Both excursions promise unforgettable memories, making Switzerland and Europe top alternatives for unforgettable experiences.

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aprivatelifeofagirl · 2 years

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Today, I choose to be grateful, no matter what happens, because God is good.

Day Thirteen of Tranquil's winter studying challenge: How do you feel about taking a "self-care day" and not studying for a day or two?

Sometimes the study comunity can be really toxic while making the impression that we always need to be the perfect student and be productive. I think that is pretty normal to take a rest and have a self care-day. We don't need to be productive every single day!

#tranquilwinterbuddies #studyblr #study aesthetic #tumblr #aesthetic #studygram #studying #studystudystudy #studywithme #student #study motivation #study hard #study notes #studyspo #study #bullet journal #journaling #journal

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forestieranger · 3 years

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01.10.2021

First day of @myhoneststudyblr’s Autumn studying challenge.

One of the things I like the most about autumn is the feeling of lightness and tranquility. The wind on the skin that carries the heat of August, preparing you for winter, but in a gentle way.

#autumn studying challenge #study motivation #myhoneststudyblr #autumn #study notes #student life #study space #studying #studygram #studyblr #study aesthetic #study blog #october #studyspiration #study tips #studyabroad #new studyblr #studyinspo #studyspo

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the---hermit · 2 years

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13|11|2021

69/100 days of productivity

Today was a pretty regular day, I read as the first thing in the morning (I finished reading M Is For Magic by Neil Gaiman.), and then I mostly studied. I continued reading and annotating the book I am currently studying for my political institutions class, and continued to review my prehistory notes (which are way messier than they look, and they look pretty messy). I also continued listening to the audiobook of The Shining by Stephen King.

Tranquil's winter studying challenge // Nov. 13th

The challenge suggests an additional question to set an intention for the day. Since I always post at the end of the day I decided to switch it up with writing something I am grateful about for each day.

Today, I am grateful because my mom randomly decided to get me a sweater as a present, for no particular reason other than she saw it and thought of me. It was really sweet.

Day One: The beginning of the challenge, woohoo you did it! A lot of the time starting is the hardest part. So, tell us a little bit about yourself! What are you studying currently, what where are you in your life right now? Are you happy with where you are right now? What are your goals in doing this challenge?

Okay so, a lot to start with! I am (tecnically) very close to getting my degree in history. I have four exams left, and then I will have to work on my thesis. At the moment I am studying for a prehistory and protohistory exam I will have on the 25th of November, and for a class on the history of political institutions. I'd like to do the exam for this class in November aswell, but I am not sure I will be able to fully study for it. I cannot say that I am fully happy about where I am at the moment, I am dealing with a lot of confusion and just feeling like I have no idea where I am going, and where I want to go. I found that at the moment the best way for me to deal with everything without feeling too overwhealmed is to take things day by day. This whole thing has been affecting my motivation with studying, and I hope that this challenge will be of help with keeping some sort of motivation in my daily life!

#tranquilwinterbuddies #100 dop #100 days of productivity #studyblr #studyinspo #journal #notebook #notes #mine #studying #currently studying #uniblr #university #myhoneststudyblr #serendistudy #journaling #tranquil's winter studying challenge #the---hermit

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remsmoonlight · 3 years

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— title : candy coated promises

— word count : 2.6k words

— pairing : daryl dixon x reader

— summary : a chance conversation between you and daryl leaves you realising just how much of a sponge daryl’s mind is when he comes back from a run with an unexpected gift.

— warnings : mentions of alcohol, light mentions of deaths of loved ones

“ Daryl x reader. Daryl comes back from a run and has found readers fave chocolate and keeps it hidden all day until they have watch together then surprises them with it and gets a big awkward hug from them, making him blush like a tomato on the outside and feeling happy on the inside. “

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* requests are open ! / requested by @phoenixblack89 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A rugged backpack is slung lazily over the shoulder of Daryl after a successful run , as relaxed as Daryl could find himself those days, the stress and alertness still molded every inch of his body as if they’d been there since day one. Perhaps they have been, he contemplates. After all, growing up, his life had not been a beautiful, tangled mess of fairytales and light, rather it had been the inspiration for nightmares. Still, he doesn’t dwell on that life unless he has to, the world has chosen to live a different life and that does not hold space for past memories.

For him? The past can be a painful reminder of a way of living that has long since been deceased — focusing on what once was is the best way to take away the focus of living in the present.

Only a few days had been spent at the prison, the majority of the time had been spent making it somewhat fit for purpose, despite no life being there to tend to its upkeep. They’d been burning through what little the group had of their stockpile of supplies, preferring to stay inside the barbed wire fences. To enjoy the moment, how little it may be. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d been able to just rest without the need to tread into a dangerous path .. perhaps it had been at the farm? It feels like it has been a lifetime since they’d had somewhere to regroup, to rebuild their strength to its optimum.

Being cooped up with his group, as much as he thought of them as family, he had slowly began to feel suffocated by the prison’s metal gates — even in the apocalypse do they still do their job well, even a day away has given him the much needed space his soul craved to breathe. Respite that had sorely been needed.

Daryl’s mind wanders off to a conversation had a few months prior, something so insignificant to you yet it stuck to his mind like glue.

“ If I knew the world was gonna end and we’d spend the rest of our lives trying not to get eaten by walkers, I’d have stocked up on my favourite things. “

The hunter turns his eyes to you strangely, almost in confusion as it inks itself into his features as he continues to stare at you. You understand why he’s so confused, it had rather come out of the blue since you had been enjoying the company of the other — a language without words that you are fluent in when the other is around.

“ Huh? “

“ Well, “ you begin, your eyes widen momentarily as you shift to face him, your knees complaining silently at the movement. “ Life is difficult as it is, but you know what makes it a little less hard? “

“ Booze? “ he guesses immediately, his shoulders shrugging with little liveliness.

“ Okay — ! You got me there .. technically ? “ you pause, your brows furrowing as if to allow your mind to thoroughly work through that answer. Your mind retreats back to the days where you spent nights where you should have been studying, to parties where the alcohol appeared to flow without a limited supply. “ But, your favourite things make this nonsense easier. “

“ Same shit. “

“ You’re no fun today. “ You complain hopelessly, a wispy sigh dancing off silently in the summer’s breeze never to be seen again. Again, you shift your position and allow your chin to rest on your knees.

Night shift of being on watch had been left to the two of you, if anything you enjoy taking the night watches. Your heart takes comfort in a certain tranquility the night brings, leaving time for you to gather your thoughts and to reflect on the day and everything it had brought. The empty space the farm brought only adds to the charm.

Many of those watches had been accompanied by Daryl, in the beginning he’d seen you as nothing more than a nuisance who couldn’t keep quiet. Of course, with the movement of time brings change. You’d found a wavelength where there was less and less venom sent your way. Edges that had spent more time bathed in a haunting concoction of hatred and hurt began to dissolve little by little as he spent more time above air, an understanding had been reached.

“ Ain’t much to be laughin; ‘bout now. “

“ Hm, I suppose you’re right. “ You nod to yourself, your eyes scan the endless horizon of the farm, following the eerie trail the moonlight leaves as it grazes the Earth below. “ Still, I would kill for my favourite chocolate bar. I’d stock up on them if I ever get the chance. “

“ Yeah? Wha’s that? “ He questions you lazily, carrying on the conversation while turning to face you momentarily.

You tell him the brand, going into specific detail as you try to replicate the taste on your tongue from nothing, itching for a momentary break in a world painted red with the blood of the living and the dead. It’s a silly belief, yet anything that helps you to build a fog of a perfect illusion for no matter how long is worth it, the human brain can only take so much darkness surrounding it before it takes a hold that feels as if it will never succumb to the light.

“ Keep y’eye out. Y’might get lucky one day. “

“ Luck is a rare thing to have nowadays, Daryl. “ you whisper, more to yourself than the man who sits by your side. A twinge of pain buried deep within the arms of your words, though not hidden enough as Daryl spots it swiftly. “ It’s becoming rarer each day. “

“ Guess y’gotta make y’own luck then. “ He offers lightly, unknown that his mind has already stored the information away.

He’d developed a fondness of you, his original opinion had been turned on its head and he hated to see even the slightest hint of suffering penciled into your features — unspoken, he’d decided, even in this world, you were made to smile. He’d seen the light and joy that you brought to others, it’s only right that you should experience the same. Even over the smaller things, which is why he would promise to himself he would be on the lookout for the very chocolate you have your heart set on experiencing once again.

Heavy thuds punish the gravel beneath him as he treks back to their new home, observing the complete transformation in their expressions. Even after going through a lifetime’s worth of trauma with these people, realising people who are genuinely glad about his presence returning, even happy to have him there, is still something that he’s to get used to. Every time he finds himself faced with this situation, Daryl recognises the uncomfortable prickling sensation that begins in his fingers and inches outwards, under the veil of self preservation. But Daryl knows better. He has been the fool to such emotions before and that has only left him lost in a sea of silent distress, powerless. No longer does he listen to that mischievous voice in the back of his head that gorges greedily on his self sabotage.

Searching for your whereabouts had been the original plan on his mind, but he’s quick to rid that thought from his mind. Unable to bring himself to just be ready for the surprise on your face.. Or lack of. The conversation had been so long ago that he wonders if it had been no more than a passing wish, left forgotten as a passing fancy that holds more weight to him than you.

The day romantically dances with the dusk that slowly rolls the night on, stars shining so bright without the bright glare humanity brought with it.

“ You’re on watch tonight, they’re already up there. “ Rick informs Daryl with a pat on the back, of course, the smirk that paints his mouth so gleefully is hidden in his retreat.

Steps to the peak point of the guard tower felt as if they have shrunk, the distance feels lesser than normal, he notes to himself. Better now than never, he silently remarks. The confectionary lays safely tucked away in his side pocket, he’d have physically clipped his ear himself had he forgotten to bring it, he’s warmly thankful of his memory in this case.

“ Daryl! “

Closing the door with a lone click the noise alerts you to the presence that joins yours in the darkness. It feels like months since you’d laid your eyes on him, when in reality it had been little over a day. But when you spend twenty four hours with people you now call your family, even the hours you do not see them, time flows at a hauntingly slow pace. Had you your way, you would turn those hours into minutes.

“ When did you get back? “ You ask with a beam, your eyes more colourful than ever.

“ A few hours back. Got ‘nough supplies till a group can go out. “ Daryl answers simply, moving to lean against the railing of the guard tower.

“ You know, you could have taken one of us along. “ You offer, hoping the need is left out of your voice.

Uttered only to Maggie, you’d divulged your fear of losing people. The fear of never seeing those you’ve grown close to clouds your senses, the beating of your heart unable to rest until they are in your line of sight — a thought that if you go with them, you can do something constantly swirls in your vision. Of course, you know that won’t always be the case, but it’s all you can think of when your family temporarily misses a few members.

Winter had brought many challenges, and there had been times when you’d see them come back with scrapes and bruises that would leave your heart aching.

“ Nah, needed to do this by myself. “

“ You sick of us already, Dixon? “ There's a coating of humour as you question him, a smile accompanies your word hand in hand to assure him there’s nothing but humour. “ I’m telling you now, you’re never allowed to be sick of me at least. “

“ You’d be the first person I’d have’ta get out of my hair. “ He answers back with a gruff, his hand reaches up to ruffle your hair slightly.

“ Don’t be so mean. “ You whine, pushing his hand back with a short burst of laughter with a richness that could rival the purest of golden honey.

A silence overtakes the two of you after the rare display of playfulness that you know most would not associate with the rough looking hunter of the group. It’s in these moments you find yourself looking up and feeling your heart full to the brim with an intense amount of gratitude, that he’s comfortable enough around you to allow you to peek into a different side of the man. This is not something you will ever take for granted.

“ You come back with much today? Or did it look like vultures have hit the spots? “

“ Wasn’t too bad. “ Daryl responds, shaking his head as he speaks. “ We got enough for a while, till we can get a group out. “

“ Hopefully we can make a home out of this place, I don’t think I can take any more of this moving about. “ You confide weakly, your nails pick at each other as you remember the time between the farm and the prison.

Daryl agrees with a huff, the winter had been hard on everyone in the group. The more he studies everyone in the group, the more differences he can see between them and those who had been on the farm. No one is the same as the people they were months prior. Daryl argues that is for the better, a certain amount of ruthlessness is now a tool required to breathe for an extra day in this world.

“ Ain’t my idea of home, but beggars can’t be choosers now. “

“ If we weren’t, I’m sure we’d all be in one of those huge mansions now. “ you sigh heavily, yearning for all the comforts you had come accustomed to. They are long gone now.

“ Y’know, I came back with sumn’ for ‘ya. “ Daryl starts, rugged fingertips descend to reach into his pocket, touching the plastic wrapper that protects the sweet treat. “ ‘Don’t know if y’want it though. “

Your eyes light up at the possibility of a gift, they rival the stir of the stars in the night sky that illuminate the darkness with their might. They may as well cower from the blinding shine as they witness the colourful wrapper come into your view, the audible crinkle brings out a quiet giggle with the grace of a ballet dancer as it twirls away into the air.

“ This is for me? “ You confirm, your hand hesitantly reaches towards his as if waiting for him to tell you that he is playing a silly joke on you.

Only that doesn’t occur.

“ Yeah.. I remembered a while back y’said that ‘ya wanted one. “ Daryl explains as he hands you the chocolate bar, the other hand reaching back to rake his nails against the back of his neck — almost as a distraction technique. “ Thought y’might’a forgot. “

Your teeth plunge deeply into our bottom lip, attempting to quell the grin that is moments from overtaking your features. Even if he’d been unsuccessful in apprehending the chocolate, even the thought that he remembers such a trivial conversation is enough to send a burst of adoration further than any galaxy reached by the heart of a dying star.

“ Daryl.. “ A whisper is spoken as you begin, turning your sight upwards to meet the man. “ You didn’t have to. “

“ Wasn’t any trouble. “

“ Thank you. “ Gratitude is expressed, you speak with a warmth in your words as you do. “ I mean it. “

Daryl doesn’t speak, it’s not a case of having nothing to say, but rather what he should say. His actions are not done with the intent of receiving appreciation, he does it because he wants to and in his mind, is what’s right. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, unable to take in the intensity of the affection sent his way.

The attention of the hunter is lifted back into reality as he feels a weight against his, arms tangle themselves behind his back and strands from a headful of hair tickle his nose as he realises you’re currently hugging him. The change is slow as he tentatively relaxes into the action, it’s so faint the two of you barely realise it’s happening until a weight sits lightly on each side of your body. He has never realised until now how much he has needed human contact that comes with no ties until now, a connection that doesn’t hinge on the deal of giving and taking as a nothing more than a cold transaction. A content breath of air slowly tiptoes away into the weak breeze that blows through the prison at a leisurely pace, of course, the air does nothing to suppress the heat that burns the cheeks of the man.

“ ‘S nothin’. “

“ Daryl, even if you came back with nothing, you still had the thought there. “ You stress from your position, your grip tightening on the man. “ You wanna share this with me, or what? “

As the night marches on, you wonder if the chocolate could ever be sweeter than one Daryl Dixon. Though, in your heart, you know that may be a fight easily lost against him.

#daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead imagine #daryl x reader #daryl imagine

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cassianus · 3 years

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Diverting a bit from my approach to the writings of the Philokalia, I wish to put forward a few thoughts about how we often think about illness in our lives and how the Holy Fathers offer us fresh insight into the mystery of evil, sin, illness and their place in our struggle for holiness.

Often, when we are young, we do not think much about physical illness and the spiritual life. Life passes quickly as we are fully engaged in our work, studies and ministry and many of us rarely struggle with ill health except for the occasional flu or cold. But when illness does strike, in one form or another, suddenly our busy and “productive” lives can be disrupted and we are forced, as it were, to reconsider a great deal of things; not merely the meaning of health, that we have perhaps taken for granted, but the nature of our relationship with God, the depth of our faith or lack thereof, the meaning of suffering and how to engage it and not to become discourage even when we have been completely humbled by the burden of our physical and emotional vulnerabilities. When such circumstances arise, we are often unprepared for the trial - never imagining or wanting to think about the possibility of such a cross - a cross the comes to most all of us at some point. When illness plunges us into unfamiliar territory, even to the point of death, what place does it have within our struggle toward holiness? How do we pray when prayer seems impossible and when it feels as though our heart has been turned to stone? Where do we find our hope and with what faith must we enter the mystery of illness and suffering in order to know the healing touch of Christ, the Physician of our souls and bodies?

I offer for your consideration today brief excerpts from “The Holy Fathers on Illness” compiled by Bishop Alexander Mileant; in particular those thoughts from the Fathers on “Illness and Work of Perfection”. Their words offer some perspective on sickness and redemptive suffering as a means of glorifying God. There is much to say certainly about the meaning and origins of illness well beyond the purview of a simple post, but the Fathers show us in word and deed that it can be and often is a privileged way of holiness. Through thankfulness, endurance, and patience one can realize the highest form of ascetic practice and follow a spiritual path to intimacy with God. At such moments, one may exhibit no extraordinary virtue other than to suffer illness and its poverty with patience and so have this as one’s path to salvation. Thus, the Fathers’ words are full of hope and challenge:

“The desert ascetic Father, St. Abba Dorotheus, exhorts his disciples to "take the trouble to find out where you are: whether you have left your own town but remain just outside the gates, by the garbage dump, or whether you have gone ahead little or much, or whether you are half way on your journey, or whether you have gone two miles, then come back two miles, or perhaps even five miles, or whether you have journeyed as far as the Holy City and entered into Jerusalem itself, or whether you have remained outside and are unable to enter" (On Vigilance and Sobriety).

Illness helps us to see "where we are" on life's road: "sickness is a lesson from God and serves to help us in our progress if we give thanks to Him" (Sts. Barsanuphius and John, Philokalia).

No one may use illness as an excuse for resting from the labor of spiritual living. "Perhaps some might think that illness and bodily weakness hinder the work of perfection since the works and accomplishments of one's hands cannot continue. But it is not a hindrance" (St. Ambrose, Jacob and the Happy Life).

In the life of Riassophore-monk John, latter-day disciple of St. Nilus of Sora, we see how bodily infirmity is not allowed to interrupt the struggle for salvation. Riassophore-monk John was a cripple; because of this he had been compelled to leave the Monastery of St. Cyril of New Lake. Feeling sorry for himself, he shortly afterwards was standing for an all-night vigil in the deep of winter. "Suddenly he saw an unknown Elder in schema come out of the altar to him and say: 'Well, apparently you do not wish to serve me. If so, return to St. Cyril.

"At these words, the Elder struck him with his right hand quite strongly on the shoulder. Noting that the Elder exactly resembled St. Nilus as he is depicted on the icon over his relics, John was filled with great joy, all his grief disappeared, and he firmly resolved to spend the rest of his life in the Saint's skete" (The Northern Thebaid).

Even if we are bedridden, we are to continue the struggle against the passions, producing fruits worthy of repentance. This work of perfection demands that we acquire patience and longsuffering. What better way to do this than when we lie on a bed of infirmity? St. Tikhon of Zadonsk says that in suffering we can find out whether our faith is living or just "theoretical." The test of true faith is patience in the midst of sufferings, for "patience is the Christian's coat of arms." "What is it to follow Christ?" he asks. It is "to endure all things, looking upon Christ Who suffered. Many wish to be glorified with Christ, but few seek to remain with the suffering Christ. Yet not merely by tribulation, but even in much tribulation does one enter the Kingdom of God."

To those who suppose that they can only progress in the spiritual life when all else is "well," St. John Cassian replies, "You should not think that you can find virtue when you are not irritated — for it is not in your power to prevent troubles from happening. Rather, you should look for patience as the result of your own humility and longsuffering, for patience does depend upon your own will" {Institutes). Towards the end of his life, St. Seraphim of Sarov suffered from open ulcers on his legs. "Yet," as his Life tells us, "in appearance he was always bright and cheerful, for in spirit he felt that heavenly peace and joy which are the riches of the glorious inheritance of the saints."

"You are stricken by this sickness," the Holy Fathers say, "so that you will not depart barren to God. If you can endure, and give thanks to God, this sickness will be accounted to you as a spiritual work" (Sts. Barsanouphius and John, Philokalia).

Bishop Theophan the Recluse explains: "Enduring unpleasant things cheerfully, you approach a little to the martyrs. But if you complain, you will not only lose your share with the martyrs, but will be responsible for complaining besides. Therefore, be cheerful!"

In order not to lose heart when we fall sick we are to think about and mentally "kiss the sufferings of our Savior just as though we were with Him while He suffers abuses, wounds, humiliations...shame, the pain of the nails, the piercing with the lance, the flow of water and blood. From this we will receive consolation in our sickness. Our Lord will not let these efforts go unrewarded " (St. Tikhon of Zadonsk).

The patience we can learn on a sickbed cannot be overemphasized. Elder Macarius of Optina wrote about this to one who was ill:

"I was much pleased to hear from your relation how bravely you are bearing the cruel scourge of your heavy sickness. Verily, as the man of the flesh perishes, so is the spiritual man renewed."

And to another he wrote: "Praised be the Lord that you accept your illness so meekly! The bearing of sickness with patience and gratitude is reckoned highly by Him Who often rewards sufferers with His imperishable gifts.

"Ponder these words: Though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed."

St. Ambrose of Milan compared an infirm body to a broken musical instrument. He explained how the "musician" can still produce God-pleasing "music" without his instrument:

"If a man used to singing to the accompaniment of a harp finds the harp broken, and its strings undone...he puts it aside and instead of calling for its notes he delights himself with his own voice.

"In the same way, a sick man allows the harp of his body to lie unused. He finds delight within his heart and comfort in the knowledge that his conscience is clear. He sustains himself with God's words and the prophetic writings and, holding these sweet and pleasant in his soul, he embraces them with his mind. Nothing can happen to him because God's graceful presence breathes favor upon him....He is filled with spiritual tranquility" (Jacob and the Happy Life).

Quite often the most God-pleasing spiritual "music" of all is produced in anonymity, by unknown or nearly-unknown saints. But such holy "melodies" are all the more sweet because they are heard by God alone. One such modern sufferer who lived an angel-like life in spite of advanced and terrible sickness was the holy New Russian Martyr, Mother Maria of Gatchina. Her story is known to us only because it pleased God to providentially arrange for one of her visitors, Professor I. M. Andreyev, to record his memories of her.

Mother Maria suffered from encephalitis (inflammation of the brain) and Parkinson's disease. "Her whole body became as it were chained and immovable, her face anemic and like a mask; she could speak, but she began to talk with half-closed mouth, through her teeth, pronouncing slowly and in a monotone. She was a total invalid and was in constant need of help and careful looking after. Usually this disease proceeds with sharp psychological changes, as a result of which such patients often ended up in psychiatric hospitals. But Mother Maria, being a total physical invalid, not only did not degenerate psychically, but revealed completely extraordinary features of personality and character not characteristic of such patients: she became extremely meek, humble, submissive, undemanding, concentrated in herself; she became engrossed in constant prayer, bearing her difficult condition without the least murmuring.

"As if as a reward for this humility and patience, the Lord sent her a gift: consolation of the sorrowing. Completely strange and unknown people, finding themselves in sorrows, grief, depression, and despondency, began to visit her and converse with her. And everyone who came to her left consoled, feeling an illumination of their grief, a pacifying of sorrow, a calming of fears, a taking away of depression and despondency" (The Orthodox Word, vol. 13, no. 3).

"Thus God has acted. Like a provident Father and not like a kidnapper has He first involved us in grievous things, giving us over to tribulation as it were to schoolmasters and teachers, so that being chastened and sobered by these things we may, after showing forth all patience and learning, all right discipline, inherit the Kingdom of Heaven" (St. John Chrysostom, Homily 18, On the Statues).”

Excerpts taken from:

Missionary Leaflet # EA30

466 Foothill Blvd, Box 397, La Canada, Ca 91011

Editor: Bishop Alexander (Mileant)

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tranquilstudy · 2 years

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june 28 | it’s almost the end of June! Here’s a photo of me splitting audio files at my lab job. They’re supposed to go through a South African synthesis machine, apparently.

tranquil’s summer challenge ✏️

today I’m grateful to be able to get a bigger bed for my new house!

Day Twelve: What reminds you of home? Share some pictures that you’ve taken around your city (or your favourite public place or coffee shop to study or read in in your city).

I think that soft lighting and quiet nights remind me of home. And in terms of coffee shops, there’s one right near my university that I’m absolutely smitten with! I can get an iced coffee and walk over the high level bridge to get to class in about 20 minutes. It’ll be harder to do that in winter but for now I love it.

Day Thirteen: What happens when you come across a concept that you just can’t wrap your head around in your studies? What tips do you have to make difficult concepts easier to grasp?

Asking a lot of questions and identifying what exactly you can’t wrap your head around. What aspect of it are you not understanding?

🎧 still into you - paramore

#studyblr #studyspo #study motivation #study hard #studygram #studyspiration #study tips #studystudystudy #studywithme #study vault #tranquilsummerbuddies

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sayonarasanity · 3 years

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windmill

this fic is based on the song Windmill by Lor (and I highly recommend you to listen to it while reading especially or later for it is an incredible song)

AO3

summary: Here is the thing about Levi, his heart is a windmill in the middle of a wilderness where there was no wind to make it twirl, there was no wind to make it beat, pound and feel. Just feel.

Until one day he got hit by a storm so wild, so rare and so incredibly terrifying but in the most beautiful and breath-taking way that it left him defenceless, vulnerable and weak. Like a tiny little flower which had long passed its day of blossoming in a fierce, winter dawn yet it stood erect with its fragile body, challenging against the merciless winds and the brutal frost.

He fell in love.

Windmill, are you still afraid of nothing?

Here is the thing about human life, it isn’t everlasting.

But what is? The world and each and everything within it are mundane. The day is doomed with the night, the sun is doomed with the moon, life is doomed with death, men are doomed with gravity. If something starts, then it is fated to end. It is a vicious circle, living that is. Waking up only to sleep again at night. Earning money only to spend it an hour later on a trouser which you thought was necessary but maybe it wasn’t. Cooking for hours and hours just so you can eat it in mere ten minutes because your body needs food so that you can keep on living, living and living.

Like a windmill, turning, turning and turning to the day when there is not even a breeze to swirl you and you are frozen, unspoken and rigid.

And here is the thing about Levi, his heart is a windmill in the middle of a wilderness where there was no wind to make it twirl, there was no wind to make it beat, pound and feel. Just feel.

He fell in love.

And he fell in love not like jumping to death from a high up building, piercing through the clouds. It wasn’t as quick as that. He fell in love as if he had jumped into a river. It was slow and it hurt during the process of acknowledging it. Like accepting the fact that you were dying. Yet, instead of fighting against it, he welcomed the embrace of the water like he welcomed his mother’s hold. He let the arms wrap around him firmly. Then gradually the snow cold changed to sunny warm and the heavy water he thought that choked him turned into fresh, light air.

And he fell in love rather quietly, but he fell in love deep. Then his heart started to move and twirl with the wind.

She was the whirlwind, and he was the windmill. She was wild, sturdy and destructive. When he waited motionless and steady for merely a breeze to touch his vane, she had brought him a storm.

And he got carried away with it.

“Why do you keep looking at that thing?” She asks one day when they are in his apartment and he stands in front of one of his shelves in the living room.

“It’s a windmill,” he explains, taking his eyes away from the scale model of it to focus them on her.

“I know that,” she says. The shelf is not that high, so she puts her hands on the edge of it and rests her chin on top of her hands. “I wonder if there is a specific meaning behind it.”

“Like what?”

She shrugs and blows, making the vanes of the windmill move slightly. “Like a memory or… a specific reason that only you know, but you don’t want anybody else to learn.”

He raises a brow. “Then why do you ask?”

“I am a curious one, you know,” she smirks. The afternoon sun highlights her eyes and plays with the colour of her short hair which ends just above her shoulders. Some strands of her brown hair shine a sweet red. It is tied slovenly behind with a little hairpin. “And I would like to learn about my boyfriend’s secrets.”

Right, boyfriend. Apparently, by some miracle or a dice tossed by luck or during a single second in which God or whoever had a tiny pity on him or because of a good-hearted, gentle and humane ancestor of his she had loved him back.

“There is no secret,” he looks back at the little maquette. There is really no secret behind it. He had made it himself about four or five years ago when he was still at college, studying architecture. It was just that with time it had gained a place more special and a meaning more solid and a presence heavier.

“Is that so?” she asks, raising her brows and smiling lips pressed, playfully. “Rest assured, I won’t get offended if it’s a gift from one of your earlier lovers.”

“I don’t have earlier lovers,” he deadpans, glaring at her sideways.

“What is it then?” She straightens and comes closer, dropping her chin on his shoulder. He spares a few seconds just staring at her inquisitive eyes, demanding answers. His heart beats calm, and he hears its pounds and feels its vibrations. Because of her…

Is the wind still your friend?

“I liken it to my heart,” he looks away, already regretting the words that left his mouth out of command.

There is a pause in the air and faint pink on his cheeks. “Oh,” she reacts at last.

He cannot move his eyes to her this time, as the silence stretches like a furry, tired cat and it nerves him with each tick-tock he hears from the watch that is hung on the wall. It lasts so long that in the end, he shifts uncomfortably, and Hanji lifts her chin from his shoulder, her eyes, clouded and thoughtful behind her glasses, are focused on the windmill.

“I see,” she says.

The next day she brings a propeller, almost the same size as the windmill and places it next to it. When she turns it on, the vanes of the scale model twirl slowly.

Then she looks at Levi who is standing still and astonished. The wind howls in his ears, and his heart beats unsteady because it faces the same storm again. Vicious, wild and free.

And she smiles because she knows.

Levi doesn’t exactly know or rather remember but they end up drunk as hell on one Saturday night.

They are outside, stumbling together towards the coast road where benches are lined up side by side. The air smells like early summer, with newly blossoming flowers and salt. There is a full moon above the sea, and it reflects argent on the surface of the dark, tranquil water. People walk by every now and then and there are stray dogs and cats around.

When they somehow manage to sit down on an empty bench, Hanji slips and puts her head on his lap facing the pitch-black sky. She giggles to herself as she watches the stars there are barely visible because of the city lights. “So pretty.”

“Hmm,” he approves, observing her relaxed features, coloured cheeks and the goofy grin on her face.

“Hey, Hanji,” he rolls out of her tongue. He doesn’t even think or plan on what to say. The following words just stumble their ways out of his mouth. “You are—did you know that I couldn’t drink tea without some honey in it?”

She moves her eyes to his and giggles again, covering her mouth with her hand. “Yes, I realized.”

“Oh,” he blinks as if it’s enough to scatter the clouds in his head. But— whatever. It doesn’t matter now. When he has the stars and moon above, the sea ahead and the girl he loves lying on his lap. “Don’t tell anyone. Nobody knows.”

She nods and draws an invisible zip on her mouth.

“You know why?” He pushes her glasses up her nose. “The reason why I can’t… drink it without honey?”

Hanji lifts her shoulders up. “Because it tastes like piss without it?”

“Yes.” He is a little surprised at her guessing it right.

“But Levi,” she laughs. “How do you know what piss tastes like?”

“I don’t—I just know.” He closes her mouth with his hand when her laughter keeps interrupting his sentences. “Shut up, idiot. You are ruining the moment.”

To his surprise, she wraps her fingers around his wrist and kisses his palm. He breathes and his stomach moves as if he was in a car and suddenly rode down a hill. She closes her eyes tightly once to indicate that she is listening.

“Okay,” he goes on. “So, I can’t drink tea without honey because it tastes like piss.” He inhales, despite his drunken haze. He probably won’t even remember—or will he? How drunk is he anyway? Oh, well. Doesn’t matter.

“That’s… how my life would be.” Miracles happen. While sober he would rather die than utter these words out loud. Maybe it’s a good thing that he is tanked up. Because she deserves to learn. “Without you.”

Her are eyes wide open, and Levi thinks there are galaxies hidden in them. He doesn’t know if there is anything that is infinite or a life that would last forever. Does forever even exist? Does the sky have an end or space a beginning? Humans are such incapable creatures. Cannot go back a day before or has no idea what will happen a second later. Hanji is a human being, flesh, bone, blood and a little too much brain, a little too many feelings, and sentiments. And she is not indefinite, at all. But somehow, she makes him feel like she is.

“Levi,” she says, pulling his hand away from her mouth. Her eyes are still big behind her glasses and her cheeks are even redder than before. “Does this mean you’re going to call me honey from now on?”

And somehow, she manages to annoy him with every goddamn chance she gets.

He frowns and pushes her shoulder, almost making her fall down the bench. She is bursting with laughter in seconds and wraps her arms around his waist to secure herself and buries her face in his abdomen.

“I’m breaking up with you,” he announces coldly.

“You cannot break up with me. We are drunk.”

“I can. I just did.”

“No,” she groans and presses her face deeper in his stomach.

“Let go, you ungrateful woman.”

“I caaan’t,” she whimpers. “Levi I—” The rest of her words are muffled; he cannot pick up their meaning and form a logical sentence in his mind.

“What?” He asks, bending his head down.

“I said, I loppffhhhppp…”

“I don’t understand what you are saying, Hanji.” He puts his hand on her shoulder to push her back. He is convinced at this point that she is not forming legible words, intentionally.

Unexpectedly, she withdraws and puts her hands on his shoulders to lift herself up. Then leans in to rest her head right beside his neck, nuzzling his skin. “We should go back,” she murmurs. “My place is closer.”

Levi has no idea what time it is when they miraculously manage to enter her house after a taxi drive which felt like years. They take unsteady and clumsy steps inside the house until Levi finds a door of which room, he is unaware of. He only looks for something to lay down on, then catches the sight of a couch with the limited light provided through the half-drawn curtains. He throws himself to it, without even bothering to take his jacket off. He only kicks his shoes out of his feet and tosses until he finds a comfortable position to sleep.

Hanji gets into the room a few seconds later. Levi watches her with half-lidded eyes and sees that she has a blanket in her hands. He frowns. How the hell had she had enough wits in her head to think of a blanket? But sleep weighs down on him incredibly heavy and so very unusually that he is almost scared to make it run away. He doesn’t have the strength the utter proper words at the moment anyway.

Hanji lies down on his chest, covering them with the blanket. He automatically wraps his arms around her as she presses her forehead on his neck. She whines. “I hope I don’t throw up during the night.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he mutters. The clean freak inside of him is alarmed and screams with worry and dismay. He has no voice though. Just a wide mouth open in a silent yell and eyes filled with apprehension.

“Would you break up with me if I did?” Hanji asks, and he feels her smile in her sleepy voice.

A moment of consideration. “No.”

She huffs out a drowsy chuckle. “Levi,” she murmurs and sighs. “I love, love, love you.”

Are you still afraid of something? Is it you who command?

“Idiot,” he says affectionately. The vanes of the windmill twirl ever so rapidly, and he considers how weird it is for his heart to beat, pound and feel for somebody else, for her only. “I love, love, love you too.”

The subway moves swift through the night and they are alone inside the compartment at this hour of the day. Levi watches their reflection on the window when Hanji takes a few photos with her phone. Grinning from ear to ear while Levi has a dead, worn-out look rooted deeply in his eyes. Travelling around the city to visit historical places, museums and parks within just one single day was the worst idea he had ever agreed to. He barely had the energy to merely sit.

“Gonna post these on Instagram,” she twitters happily, swinging left and right.

“Don’t forget to announce my funeral,” Levi murmurs.

Hanji snorts and locking her phone she puts it back in her pocket. Then she shifts and lies her head on his lap, staring up at him.

“Why do you always lie on my lap in public places?” He asks, looking down at her.

She shrugs. “I enjoy the view above.”

“Tch.” One corner of his lips quivers and he moves his gaze up, looking at the window across from him again. This time he realizes that there is heavy rain outside, the raindrops tap furiously against the glass. “Shit,” he swears tiredly. “It’s raining.”

She follows his gaze. There isn’t much before they reach their stop. They are going to soak to their goddamn underwears. It had been sunny the whole day. Curse his luck.

“Alas!” she sighs, but she doesn’t sound much concerned. “Levi,” she says then, and when their gazes are locked again, she beams at him. “Would you kiss me under the rain?”

He blinks down at her first, his heart stammering hard against his ribcage. His eyes examine her features carefully. “Would you like me to?”

“Yes,” she breaths. “I’ve never done it before.”

“Me neither.”

“How do you think it would be?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I’ve never done it before.”

Her smile widens to display her straight, white teeth. “We should try it.”

“Maybe.” He watches her lips. They are a sweet shade of pink and they look maddeningly soft. And he wants to taste them so very desperately.

“Don’t worry. Nothing’s going to happen to your chastity.”

His gaze travels up to her eyes. “I am sure.”

It is still pouring rain when they leave the subway. Hanji leads them through the streets, with her fingers around his. He licks the rain on his lips and squints to get a better view of her. He smells wet asphalt and trees and earth. The odour of the pine trees is evident despite the rain. The splashing drops bounce on the ground like they are dancing up and down, but they slow down until they stop under a streetlamp.

“We should do it before the rain ends,” Hanji explains excitedly. As if what they were going to do wasn’t something basically everyone did but a life-changing, world-saving act of heroism.

Her lips taste like rain and they are warm against his own. When her hands cling to the collars of his jacket, he cups her cheeks and tilts his head. Much to their unfortunate luck, the rain almost ceases, turns into a drizzle that barely had any function of wetting anything. She smiles, but Levi doesn’t pull back for a little longer. Holds her gently, keeps her close.

Are you still afraid of the wind?

“Let’s dance,” she whispers against his lips. Her breath warm, her taste still on his tongue.

“There is no song.” And the rain stopped already.

She wraps an arm around his neck and holds one of his hands. He slides his other arm on her waist keeping up with her movements, while she rests her forehead on his temple. “We don’t need a song.”

They start to move slowly, following the notes of a song that doesn’t exist. The wind is blowing still, quietly. If he listens carefully, he can hear the pitter patters of the water dropping down from the rooftops, and the soft sounds of the wheels of the cars rolling on the wet ground, a plane taking off, a man coming back from work, his rapid footsteps. Tap, tap, tap. And his heart, content like he is lying down on the grass, with breezes caressing his face, ruffling his hair ever so slightly. Watching how quietly the vanes turn on top of a hill.

Oh, windmill.

You’re a place where I can cry.

You’re a place where I can lie.

You’re a place where I can die.

#levihan #levihanfic #fanfic #songfic #levi x hanji #levihan fanfiction

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