NOTHINGS NEW (vent)
Please spare me in dignity, won’t you please give some decency
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I don’t “want to become a man”
I AM A MAN
T or no T, I know who I am and I don’t have to look cisgender to prove my manhood to people
I’m not a girl wishing to become a man in the future. I am simply a transgender man and this is what some of us look like
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The most amazing thing you'll discover after learning you're trans isn't the fact that you're trans, but that all of your passions in fictional characters were gender envy and wanting to be them (and have their gender).
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tiktok rlly said "for you page"😐
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Tw: parental stuff, not quite transphobia but inextricably tied to the idea, talk about hating men, and quick mention of genitals (not in any sexual context).
This is a vent post. Feel free to skip over. I'm just throwing my problems into the void.
Sometimes I think my mom doesn't love me as much because I'm trans.
No, not because I'm trans. Because I'm a trans man.
She constantly likes to tell everyone how much she hates men. Men are stupid. Men are gross. Men are trash. Men are rude. Men are always out to hurt us.
I can't blame her. She's 50. She's seen a lot. She had a man choose cocaine over her and their child. She had a father who was a piece of shit. She had a lot of male stalkers, too.
But sometimes it still hurts. The comments didn't stop when I came out, not that I really thought they would. Now they just have a joking "sorry, Nova" afterward.
She's accepting of me being trans. She uses my name and pronouns. I get to wear whatever I want and have my hair however I like. She let me go on testosterone. So I feel so bad for feeling so bad.
Why is me being angry always called "testosterone poisoning?" Why do I feel like the more I transition, the more scared of me she'll be? Why do I feel like she'd love me less if I was lifted from her stomach with a penis and not a vagina?
Why do I feel like she'll stop loving me when I don't look like a daughter anymore?
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jealousy
im so happy that ur on hrt. but part of me wants to throw up bc of how jealous i am that someone is on hrt while im not.
like im so happy and excited this person go to this point, but i look back at my own body and feel disgusted.
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Me: *being quietly depressed about being trans this very moment, have not said anything out loud, have been consistently nonbinary to family for like a year and have not suggested otherwise to them recently.*
Dad, just now, no warning: You don't wanna be a guy. Guys are assholes. You can be nonbinary, that's perfectly fine. Flip between whatever as your day-to-day, but you don't wanna be a guy. (Something something) the world doesn't need more men. (A couple more sentences trying to talk me out of wanting to be a guy) You're so much better off being a they/them in between (something something) androgynous, y'know?
Sooooo were you eavesdropping last night when I talked to my friend? Or are you just scared I'll add another problem to my list? Why are you so against the idea of me being genuinely trans? And also, that just proves that you see nonbinary as "the safe option" because you view nonbinary as they/them pronouns and androgynous clothing and no other changes because you don't actually know how queer people work and you don't want me to be "like them". Cool.
Like how the fuck--
But yeah no cool. That absolutely made me feel better and cured my trans thoughts! I'll be they/them forever and never change! Thanks dad! :D
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